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02

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

03

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THE BOHEMIAN

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Recent North Bay job fair a microcosm of the unemployment scene By Ruth Bird

2

ongresswoman Lynn Woolsey and her office organized a job fair on April 1, from 9am till noon at Petaluma’s Veterans Memorial Hall. The event hosted 50 businesses from Marin and Sonoma counties, some home-grown but with a national footprint, like Amy’s Kitchen, and others with a global presence, like BioMarin, a pharmaceutical company out of Novato. Safeway, Wal-Mart, AT&T, UPS and Goodwill Industries were also there. Employment services, both private and statefunded, participated, as did the Small Business Development Center of Santa Rosa Junior College. The center assists small business by providing counseling, low-cost workshops and a resource library. The Women’s Initiative for Self-Employment had a booth offering similar services representing a major theme of the Job Fair: put yourself to work by starting a business. By far the most popular booth was Whole Foods Market; they had fresh fruit and vegetables. Every booth tried to have a little something for us, like miniature Tootsie Rolls or pens, but the most popular giveaway was ChapStick. Practically every other table had ChapStick in bowls like trick-or-treat candy. I was not able to discover the significance of this, a failure for which I apologize. In spite of all the warning in terms of the national unemployment figures, the employer representatives seemed to be a little unprepared for the size of the turnout. By 11am, everyone was pretty well out of everything—handouts, business cards—really, the only things left were a couple of artichokes at the Whole Foods table. What there was no shortage of were rÊsumÊs. I myself came armed from Kinko’s with 40 fresh copies of three entirely different rÊsumÊs, ready for multiple potential employment situations. And thus emerged the second major theme of the Job Fair: no one wants anyone’s rÊsumÊ any more. Two people took mine— two out of the dozens of people I spoke with. The new job search is done online. You, the job seeker, go to their, the employers’, website and submit an electronic rÊsumÊ. No face to face, no telephone chatting, no

way of knowing if anyone will ever see your rÊsumÊ. The representative at the IRS booth explained to me that it was a kind of firstcome, first-served situation. One job posting could generate more than 600 responses. The selection is made from among the first 100. I volunteered to sort through the other 500, but she told me they were only hiring auditors right now, and to please apply online. Another big theme was networking. What was unsaid, but I think implied, is that in this job market you have to know somebody who knows somebody to crawl to the top of that rÊsumÊ heap. Angela, another attendee, said that she has sought temporary refuge at the Santa Rosa Junior College, where she is receiving a government stipend to go back to school and learn a trade, in her case, commercial design. It’s fun, challenging and makes up a large part of her social life—but she still needs to look for work. I got there late. Of the types of unemployed—that is, the merely discouraged and the hopeless—I waff le between the two. I knew I needed to attend this job fair, but was it really going to be worth wearing stockings and makeup? The answer, of course, is yes. Any effort we make for ourselves to look for work is going to produce more than no effort at all. What that requires is faith, an ability to maintain hope. And somehow, this (very few) jobs fair did inspire hope. I had a great conversation with Alan Bouverat from Experience Works, a program for seniors at Sonoma County Job Link, who gave me a card and told me to call. About a job. Face to face. I almost cried. Thank you, Alan, and thank you, Lynn Woolsey. In the meantime, there is always the post office. Oh, right—not anymore, they have a hiring freeze on.

Was it really going to be worth wearing stockings and makeup?

Ruth Bird escaped sane after 20 years in Hollywood by the skin of her teeth, and is surviving in Sonoma County by the skin of her teeth as a story editor, editor and writer. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

05

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6A40C ?028582 6HA4 There is a severe problem in the Pacific Ocean that we can no longer ignore: the great Pacific garbage patch. This is an enormous heap of plastics, toxic waste of all varieties and other nondegradable substances collecting within the North Pacific Gyre, one of five main currents directing earth’s oceans. Who would have guessed? This mass is unbelievably large and is an embarrassing display of our lack of concern for the sensitivity of our home The size of this mass is in debate. Estimates conclude that it may be roughly the size of Texas, while some believe that it may have grown to the size of the continental United States. However large, the body of scientists examining the island of garbage agree that it is large enough to raise immediate awareness and, therefore, action. Given the amount of plastics, toxic wastes and nondegradable substances

disposed of in the ocean every day, we can only figure it is growing at an alarming rate (given that plastics have only been around for about 150 years). The concern is the fragile ecosystem of the ocean, and consequently our own ecosystem. Fortunately, the garbage patch is in a rather unpopulated part of the Pacific. Theoretically, many factors could affect the patch and push it southward into the path of other currents, causing a contaminant chain reaction eventually poisoning important areas of the world. This could kill all animals up the food chain, including us. So what do we do about it? I mean, the patch is in international waters, so it’s nobody’s fault and therefore nobody’s responsibility. What do we do with all the garbage? We can’t bury it or burn it. We can’t reuse it, because it would be almost impossible to clean. It seems that the human race has dug itself into a hole.

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E>C4 5>A 14=. I am appalled at the way in which the Obama administration is continuing the same failed polices of prior administrations with regard to Israel. Israel is building new settlements in East Jerusalem in violation of international law. This is criminal and undermines any hope of negotiating peace. Vice President Biden, Speaker Pelosi and the president have made statements pointing out the provocative nature of the Israeli actions but then say that our support for Israel is unshakeable. After meeting with President Obama, Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu had the brass to say that Jerusalem is their God-given land and they intend to proceed with building there. We then go ahead and hand them more military aid. Is this craziness or what? Imagine a parent telling a child, “I don’t want you to smoke crack, and you’re bad for doing it but I guess I can’t stop you. Oh, and here’s $200.� It seems that Israel is in charge of American foreign policy in that region, but I don’t remember voting for Netanyahu. More and more blood on our hands. Next time someone asks “Why do they hate us?� remember this.

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B20;4B >5 9DBC824 We were frankly surprised by how darn difficult it was for our strappingly healthy twenty-something reporter to get her dope card.

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A reporter gets schooled in the realities of medical marijuana By Kylie Mendonca

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hen Californians passed Proposition 215 in 1996, effectively legalizing marijuana for people with chronic pain or wasting diseases, it all seemed, well, so California. The seriousness of the compassionate-use movement soon melted away, and in the decade that followed, Californians saw the rise of dispensaries as pharmacy/weed-boutique hybrids, medical clinics that existed solely to legitimize patients’ marijuana use and the near full acceptance of marijuana as a major agricultural crop. The Golden State was first among more than a dozen states to legally reinvent the herb as medicine, and yet, almost 15 years later, medical marijuana remains not quite legal, caught somewhere between Western medicine and Californication.

The North Bay is not completely unaffected by the commercialization trend, but despite its spot smack between Oaksterdam and Humboldt, area communities have remained somewhat resistant to the invasive weed. An exception is the medical-marijuana clinic in downtown Santa Rosa. It sits discreetly in a single-story building across from the library, next to a real estate office. A small paper sign reading Compassionate Health Options marks the spot, yet the name is somewhat misleading considering that most people visit the clinic with just one health option in mind: medical marijuana. For a cash fee and a good tale, the story goes, anyone can get a doctor’s recommendation for marijuana. Patients with everything from AIDS to ADHD are treating their symptoms with the weed, and a person need look no further than a weekly paper in any town to find a list of doctors competing to write recommendations.

It’s a familiar business model to be sure. Clinics operate with low overhead and have a ready-made remedy to offer patients, no matter the etiology of a symptom. Dr. Hanya Barth is a doctor specializing in medicalmarijuana recommendations, but she doesn’t want to be confused with the so-called prescription mills, despite her enthusiasm for the herb. Barth recognizes the potential for marijuana to be misused, but says that shouldn’t detract from its usefulness. “It’s really not the medicine that’s the problem,� Barth says. “ It’s a great healing plant, but it can be abused. If I do a good job medically and someone does something inappropriate after I recommend marijuana, that’s something I don’t have any control over.� Barth is petite with long, gray-white hair and light-colored eyes obscured by a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. She doesn’t fit any stereotype about what a marijuana % -

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THE BOHEMIAN

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04.21.10-04.27.10

07

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doctor should be. Barth is a mother of seven, as she readily points out, and a grandmother to seven more. Though she doesn’t use marijuana herself, Barth say she’s constantly amazed at the range of illnesses it can treat, and that, not the money, is what drives her to open more clinics. “The thing that surprises me every single day,� Barth says, “is that this simple plant, that’s considered by some to be a weed, can be so healing, physically and mentally.� Barth started her business five years ago, a modest one-woman operation where she answered phones, filed paperwork and saw patients herself. Today, she owns a chain of eight medical-marijuana clinics around the Bay Area and Northern California. The newest members of her green empire opened in Santa Cruz and San Jose last month, and there are already plans for a ninth clinic. If it seems backward for patients to seek doctors based on the medicine they want to receive, rather than having a doctor diagnose a problem and prescribe a treatment based on medical expertise, that’s because it is. But it’s not exactly uncommon. Consider the way pharmaceuticals are marketed in magazines and on TV, where we see happy people run through green fields or play with puppies while a voiceover advises, “Ask your doctor about [insert drug name with side effects here].� There could come a day when big drug companies market marijuana, too, listing side effects such as dry mouth, forgetfulness and a strange compulsion for Doritos. The California Medical Association, which represents more than 35,000 physicians in the state, has publicly supported doctors’ right to recommend marijuana, and advocated the need for more research, calling restrictions on such research “failed policy.� Still, the federal DEA compares the use of marijuana as medicine to using opium medicinally. Why, the DEA asks, would a doctor prescribe opium when there is a pharmaceutical version called morphine? And why would patients smoke marijuana, a controlled substance, when there is Marinol, a synthetic THC with side effects that don’t include getting high? The answers could be as simple as availability and cost. According to DEA estimates, marijuana is the largest cash crop in California, and it can be grown at little cost by anyone with a doctor’s note. But how easy is it, really, to get the recommendation?

2

ompassionate Health Options’ website has a list outlining the kinds of infirmity that a person might treat with marijuana. I’m young and healthy, but I cross-referenced the list and settled on a compilation of true-to-life symptoms. Insomnia, hyperactivity, anxiety—sure, I have these things. So with a cheerful stride and a pocket full of the Bohemian editor’s cash, I headed toward the clinic and a greener future. Inside, the office was clean and vaguely medical with white walls and the soothing music of Jon Bon Jovi. Across from the checkin desk was a waiting room with surprisingly ethnic magazines: Latina, Black Enterprise and, of course, Health. The intake form was six pages long and wanted information ranging

08

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THE BOHEMIAN

from the quality of my relationship to my parents to my drug-use history. A quick screening and blood-pressure check by the receptionist confirmed that I was healthy. Then on to the doctor, a short man wearing jeans and an orange turtleneck under a blue flannel shirt. Much to my surprise, he wouldn’t diagnose me with ADHD or social anxiety disorder, or anything that could secure me a legal right to smoke weed. I had already handed over the cash! He did give me a temporary recommendation, good for two months, so I could try to treat myself while I looked for another doctor who would help me get a diagnosis. All of which raises the question: Why wouldn’t a person just ask their regular doctor about marijuana? Barth says that many people are still uncomfortable with asking their primarycare physician to recommend the same stuff they used to covertly smoke behind the high school gym. Many doctors are also uncomfortable recommending the drug, despite endorsements from organizations like the California Medical Association. To top it off, insurance companies refuse to cover marijuana purchases in the same way they cover pharmaceutical prescriptions or trips to a clinic like one of Barth’s, which, she says, is one of the reasons she only accepts cash. It’s like a vicious circle that keeps the herb from being truly accepted as medicine. The fact that many dispensaries or co-ops severely blur the line between pharmacy and weed exchange doesn’t help either. I felt compelled, despite the fact that I have too much anxiety to actually smoke marijuana, to visit a local medical-marijuana co-op. Before a person can even get close to the door at one of these places, there are several obstacles: identification, doctor’s recommendation, light weapons check. No phones allowed, no cameras, no electronic devices, all to protect patient identity. It’s a strange stance to take, considering that patients are presumably acting within the law, and it’s an attitude that, again, conflicts with the idea that marijuana is medical. Nonetheless, I passed security and headed to the intake desk for what was a surprisingly traditional medical experience—except for the magazine selection, which included West Coast Cannabis, a publication “for hemp enthusiasts everywhere!� and also, I gather, for people who like to look at really big pictures of marijuana buds. Black Enterprise was conspicuously absent. My recommendation was deemed legitimate, so I headed into the showroom, where I felt the way a lot of people my parents’ age feel about technology— overwhelmed by the options. It turns out there is a lot more to know about consuming marijuana than which side of the Zig-Zag to lick. Glass cases displayed more than pot; there were pills, salves, edibles, resins, dusts and even a few live plants. And the prices? Well, they were not how I remembered them. I left emptyhanded, slightly offended at being offered a joint of shake for $10. More striking than the price was the evidence that there is no typical medical-marijuana user. Some people in Barth’s office or the marijuana co-op were visibly unwell, but otherwise there was no indication in any of the patients’ appearances that they were a certain type—a marijuana-smoking type. Maybe it’s just a California thing.

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04.21.10-04.27.10

09

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WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa 10

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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Naming companies is big business— sometimes even done well By Daedalus Howell

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finity, the result of Comcast’s multimillion dollar rebranding effort, has raised eyebrows among critics since its unveiling in February, surely in part because the new name reads as if the cable and internet behemoth is now peddling “infinite porn.� Though this may help the ratings of its recent acquisition of a post-Conan NBC, it also points to the hazards of playing the name game with one’s media empire. Last year’s switch to Syfy from the Sci Fi Channel (which was bundled in with the NBC acquisition) was a bellwether of sorts for a rash of identity anxiety seemingly sweeping corporate America. At first, punsters riffed on obvious syphilis gags, but eventually the derision gave way to a kind of indifference, which its ad firm surely spun as a form of “acceptance� worthy of their outsized invoice. This too will likely become the case for Xfinity, whose disgruntled customers will come to rue the name as much as they presently do Comcast. Mission accomplished. “I sincerely believe Xfinity will grow on us, just like Altria (the former Philip Morris), Xe (the former Blackwater) and Syfy . . . did,� wrote Simon Dumenco in a recent Advertising Age column, before preceding to comically assail the name in a 10-point list. Naming companies is big business. Several years ago, Jeff Berner, a Marin County expat now living in Paris, facilitated the naming of a programming language for Sun Microsystems originally known as “Oak.� Ultimately, Berner led a team of 18 to the vastly more dynamic— and now ubiquitous—name “Java.� The thenproduct manager credited Berner for creating an open relaxed and playful atmosphere. Other companies, however, cloak their creative machinations in processes primed for the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Pollywog, a Minneapolis-based branding agency, touts itself as offering “a state-ofthe-art naming process and the world’s first patent-pending methodology for brand creation.� How one patents such a thing is the stuff of intellectual property lawyers’ wet dreams; however, it’s clearly more than pulling names out of a hat (just ask companies such as Bebo or Meebo, who sound as if there were named by R2-D2). “We’ve identified 17 characteristics that combine to give a name its power,� Pollywog

crows on its site. What these characteristics are is a secret known only to Pollywog and some file clerk. However, linguist and technologist Christopher Johnson, who blogs at TheNameInspector.com, has identified at least 10 different types of company names. The fourth most popular category is what Johnson describes as a “blend,� in which portions of two or more words are mixed to form another. Popular examples cited by Johnson are Microsoft (“microcomputer� and “software�), Skype (“sky� and “peer-to-peer�) and Wikipedia (“wiki� and “encyclopedia�). Similar portmanteaux dot our local wine industry. Audelssa Estate Winery takes its unusual name from (Aud)rey, Ch(els)ea and Aly(ssa), the founder’s daughters. Likewise, Viansa Winery is said to be a contraction of its original owners names—(Vi)cky (an)d (Sa)m Sebastiani. Ditto Hanzell Vineyards, which is a contraction Hana Zellerbach. Perhaps the most famous portmanteau brand is Spam, which, apocryphally, is a blend of “spiced ham.� Hormel, the makers of Spam, only tacitly embraces this as the brand name’s origin, which it sidesteps on its “facts and trivia� page by claiming that it “simply doesn’t paint the right picture of what a can of Spam classic really is.� The question as to what precisely is a can of Spam might best be left to Michael Pollan. What the brand name really is, however, is something of an anomaly in the annals of marketing history. Having been appropriated by online wags in the early days of the internet to describe unwanted junk email, Hormel tried vainly to allay the association and even published an official policy statement entitled “Spam and the Internet.� No one cared. A decade later, the canned-meat maker now embraces the association or at least its alleged antecedent in the form of Spamalot, Eric Idle’s successful musical retread of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (As oftrepeated, the term’s use is said to have come from a Python sketch in which Vikings disrupt diners by chanting “Spam, spam, spam, spam,� like, you know, the Viagra pitches in one’s inbox). And how does all that spam get into your inbox? Ask Xfinity.

Does the word ‘Xfinity’ truly promise an endless loop of porn?

Follow Daedalus Howell on Twitter via @DHowellcom and fan at Facebook.com/dhowelltv.

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HONORABLE MENTION ffor or B Best est LLocal ocal B ank Bank As Sonoma As Sonoma County’s County’s o oldest ldest aand nd llargest argest C Community ommunity B ank, Exchange Exchange B ank h as tthe he e xperience, service service and and Bank, Bank has experience, sstability tability yyou ou need need tto o help help yyou ou w ith yyour our p ersonal o with personal orr b usiness n eeds. business needs. W e’re SSonoma onoma C ounty’s C ommunity B ank, ssince ince 11890. 890. We’re County’s Community Bank,

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www.exchangebank.com w ww.exchangebank.com THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

11

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6a^d]S ^U 0[[ 1TX]V Theologian and farmer Noel Schmidt seeks deep-green souls

By Juliane Poirier

5

or centuries, mystics and others retreated to monasteries, places where material possessions were left behind in exchange for a simple, contemplative life. At a monastery or convent or vihara, individuals lived in community with others seeking spiritual fulfillment. And they raised their own organic food. In those historical monasteries, there were rules to follow within the community, and members got their marching orders from a religious administration outside their walls. This monastic system worked for a while for a lot of people. And then it didn’t. As many old monastery buildings have long been left to crumble along with the hierarchical order that oversaw them from afar, modern contemplatives find themselves tentatively stacking stones here and there. Some believe it just might be possible to recycle some monastic traditions to serve the emerging spiritualities of the present age. Take Noel Schmidt of Santa Rosa, for example. An earth-loving contemplative, Schmidt would like to start a live-in community in Sonoma County with a soulful commitment to sustaining the planet. He is clearly not following a conventional religious track here. “I studied Christian theology and spirituality for a number of years,� says Schmidt, a retired high school religion teacher. “But I have transferred my need for a spiritual focus to the land and to what we’re doing with the land.� What he has been doing with the land lately is sustainable agriculture education. For the benefit of young people, Schmidt created and operates Patchwork Farms, a nonprofit farming project on a few acres located off Angela Drive. At Patchwork, chickens run around, vegetables grow placidly without pesticides, and students from neighboring schools do community service projects involving sustainability. They also dig in the dirt, play and generally enjoy moments in the unique and increasingly rare setting of a working farm. But the 63-year-old grandfather and former Peace Corps volunteer is dreaming of an even deeper commitment to the

land and the spiritual qualities he finds in contemplation of the land: a kind of ecomonastery. “I don’t see much purpose for being on the planet except to prepare something for our progeny and to carry on what our ancestors began, to keep life going on this planet,� Schmidt says. Toward this goal he has created a kind of eco-chapel on the farm. And he has high hopes for it. “We’re building a dome, 46 feet in diameter and 25 feet tall,� Schmidt says. “I would really like to turn that into an earth sanctuary, so Patchworks becomes a place where you can pause and reflect on the amazing thing in our possession, this life and this planet. It would be a place for spiritual awakenings.� Such awakenings will no doubt be of the eco-centric sort. With the likes of theologian Brian Swimme and other New Age prophets, Schmidt sees the need for a planet-based spiritual mythology. “It’s actually about creating for ourselves a new story,� Schmidt says. “One that includes the formation of the universe long ago, how we were created from the stellar explosions and how the material of our body came from the stars.� But to create the story, Schmidt believes, we need a community of like-minded souls. “We really have to get a community organized, of people who are really committed to and serious about the eco-zoic age.� (Eco-zoic, a term coined by theologian Thomas Berry, describes the present Earth era.) Schmidt envisions this monastic group living simply together and working the land, keeping bees and getting by with community-supported agriculture. He also sees the community gathering every day, first to meditate and then to work the land. “When you make a commitment to living simply,� Schmidt says, “you commit to live in partnership with other people and life forms and commit to connecting yourself to what Wendell Barry called ‘the ground of all being.’ It’s the connection thing—the spirituality of land and life in general.� Recycling parts of monastic tradition, Schmidt hopes to model “living with what we have on this earth in a way that is not damaging.� He claims it must be done in close community. Interested? www.patchworkfarms.org.

‘I have transferred my need for a spiritual focus to the land.’

12

04.21.10-04.27.10

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13

There is only one Gem Faire. BE THERE.

GEM & BEAD FAIRE Sonoma County Fairgrounds Grace Pavilion, 1350 Bennett Valley Rd. SANTA ROSA

Apr. 30, May 1, 2 FRI. 12pm-7pm

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04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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pring can really hang you up the

spring. We suddenly became aware of the

most, goes the old song—but spring

lushness all around us, and not only visually.

also inspires, infuses and invigorates.

Names, themes, ideas and titles came to the

California Adventure theme park next month

New scents, new loves, new foods and

forefront, and we dug right in.

for the opening of “World of Color�—it’ll

most of all, new colors. The bursting whites

As the earth undergoes its annual rebirth,

the backroads of the counties we call home. Sure, one can head to Disneyland’s

offer tourists a superficial sense of the color

of the cherry trees in downtown Santa Rosa.

so we walk in the newness of life. For this year’s

spectrum. For true dazzlement, however, we

The rich, strong greens of Mt. Tamalpais in

Resident Tourist Guide, we took a look at how

need look no further than our own backyards.

Marin. The endless reds, yellows and pinks of

color influences our experience here, from nude

Dani Burlison, Suzanne Daly and Rose

winery roses in Napa.

beaches to closed pubs to martinis and jazz.

McMackin split the duties, examining the

Extensive listings for local restaurants, wineries

tone and hue of Sonoma, Napa and Marin

and spas guide you through a colorful trip on

counties.—Gabe Meline

Like throwing on glasses for the first time, something happened to us this

THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

15

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Thursday, April 29, 6:00pm Come to our Supper Club and learn about what’s new in cosmetic surgery and enjoy a great catered supper in a fun, informal setting. Plus, you’ll get a free follow up consultation and learn how you can look your best!

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04.21.10-04.27.10

17

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THE BOHEMIAN

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Some mornings just dawn with a seeping, sinking feeling—days that seem to stall before they start. The blues are back. Not turquoise or sky blue, but the sort of permeating greasy gray-blue that decades of musicians, from Muddy Waters to the Rolling Stones, have tried to express and escape. In Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Holly Golightly calls that feeling the “mean reds.â€? Colorblind or not, she knew that the cure was coffee on the steps of Tiffany’s and a morning of window shopping for diamonds. But whatever color one calls it, if a trip to New York is out of the question, the ochre- and ďŹ re-cracker-colored spices of a ďŹ ery meal at Napa Indian cuisine hotspot Neela’s might just inject the right sort of color back into life. While Neela is Hindi for “blue,â€? (the restaurant is named for owner Neela Paniz), don’t mistake this for just another house of blues. Paniz fuses California freshness with the richness of Indian culinary style and the vibrant spice and avor at Neela’s would have pulled even Picasso out of blue period. 975 Clinton St., Napa. 707.226.9988.—R.M.

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

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THE BOHEMIAN

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The perfect spring day might be spent with a partner, shooting a round of golf or hiking down a wildflower-edged trail to Pinnacle Gulch Beach in Bodega Bay. After enjoying the bright blue skies and white-capped waters, finish the afternoon with a visit to the Bluewater Bistro at Doran Beach. Wind uphill on Heron Drive past the enclave of Bodega Harbour homes, arriving at the restaurant in time for the sunset. Upstairs in the Fireside Lounge, perch at the bar for a glass of locally made wine, or sit at one of the handful of tables. All have expansive views of the 16th hole and the sand traps on the golf course bordering the beach. Order golf-ball-sized Bluewater Dungeness crab cakes paired with tomato-ginger chutney or a hot bowl of fresh salmon chowder, and watch the sun sink over the low hills of Bodega Head. Fill up on a blue-cheese burger, fresh snapper fish and chips, surf and turf, or a rustic Sonoma-style pizza. Share a piece of chocolate mousse cake to put a sweet topping on the evening. All menu items are under $20, making the spectacular setting affordable for all diners. On Thursdays, a wide variety of live music is offered from 5pm, along with martini specials. Ensconced in the large couches, patrons stay warm themselves by the stone fireplace, even as the waves rumble and the wind whips through the lavender and rosemary landscaping outside. 21301 Heron Drive, Bodega Bay. 707.875.3513.—S.D.

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

21

ATS A^RZ A^dVT Tc =^Xa The sun ďŹ nally makes a lasting appearance,

surrounded by California poppies and wild mustard as I reach the elusive destination of Red Rock Nude Beach just south of Stinson Beach in coastal Marin County. Perched atop Highway 1, the parking lot, which feels more like a vista point or turnout over the rocky cliffs, hosts a trailhead that leads down a steep and stretching path of buttery-covered angelica and blue thistle plants. Enormous, jagged rocks lie out between the last step of the trail and the lapping waves of the PaciďŹ c, prompting questions about the comfort of being naked on such uninviting seats. Further snooping along the rocky beach leads to boulders with narrow corridors that lead, with much relief, to softer and sandier shores. An old, naked man sits, slightly orange and rusting in the now bright sun. A younger, long-haired man, complete with joint in hand, makes his way onto the beach and lights up, bare ass exposed to the sea. Several hours of surprising relaxation and comfort sprawled out naked on rocks bring on a glorious realization that the relentless, cold and depressing winter is ďŹ nally over. Clothes back on, cheeks sun-kissed and grinning, the car rolls back through the Marin hills to the cloud-covered Rouge et Noir Marin French Cheese Co. Brie, salami, baguettes and mango-pepper jelly are eaten next to a quiet duck pond, ending a naked, dreamy and magical day in Marin. Red Rock Beach, according to the San Francisco Bay Guardian, can be reach thusly: From Mill Valley, go north on Highway 1, following signs to Stinson Beach. Some 5.6 miles north of Muir Beach and 1 mile south of Stinson, look for milepost 11.3 and the dirt parking lots on either side of the road. If you reach Stinson, you’ve gone too far. 7500 Red Hill Road, Petaluma. 707.762.6001.—D.B.

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04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

23

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Mother’s Day Brunch Buffet May 9th, 2010 10am–3pm Also serving Mother’s Day Dinner 5pm-8pm

On the Town Square Nicasio

Please telephone for Reservations

415-662-2219

Take D St. to Point Reyes-Petaluma Rd. Left on Nicasio Valley Rd.

www.ranchonicasio.com

Roast Beef au Jus Wild Poached Coho Salmon with champagne sauce Chicken Marsala ~ Fresh Eggplant Parmesan Baked Petaluma Ham ~ Seven Cheese Tortellini Hickory Smoked Bacon & Applewood Sausage Potato Latkes with applesauce and sour cream Smoked Sockeye Salmon with bagels and cream cheese Local Spring Vegetables grilled and roasted Vegetable Tart ~ Herb Roasted Fingerling Potatoes Nicasio’s Cow Track Ranch Red Merlot Lettuce Salad Farm Fresh Scrambled Eggs ~ Buttermilk Pancakes Fresh Seasonal Fruits & Strawberries with crème fraiche Homemade Muffins, Scones, Croissants and Breads Chocolate Decadence, Cheesecake, Brownies & Lemon Bars Coffee, Tea, & Hot Chocolate $

2695 ADULTS / $2295 SENIORS (65+) $1495 CHILDREN (UNDER 10)

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04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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A0H<>=3 1DAA E8=4H0A3B s that a rainbow ag I spy at the top of the drive? Alas, it’s only the red and green Portuguese ag ying over Raymond Burr Vineyards. That’s OK and similar to wineries everywhere that parade their owner’s heritage and past professions. Here, a key difference in this winery’s story does get play in passing.

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Perhaps it’s beďŹ tting its namesake, the late actor legendary as television lawyer Perry Mason. Matter of fact, Burr didn’t wish to y his own name across the label. While artist Hans Erni’s burly Bacchus that appears on the label is only Burr-like, winery owner Robert Benevides decided after much reection that it was best to name the winery in tribute to his longtime partner. Incredibly, after Burr’s death in 1993, the celebrity press pretended to discover his “secret life.â€? Sure, he’d only been with the same man for 35 years, with whom he raised coconut and cattle on a 4,000-acre ranch in Fiji before moving to the Dry Creek ranch. Yeah, big shocker. Here’s news to me: a much younger Burr actually played the wife-chopper Lars Thorwald in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window. The tasting room is unpretentious, funky and fun. There are plenty of picnic tables for warmer weather, and the interior is like a ’70s ofďŹ ce-den, with wood-paneled walls and shelves housing memorabilia, Emmy awards and miscellany that Burr picked up in his travels. In fact, Benevides (who stops by the tasting room most afternoons for a social drink or two) decided he didn’t need some of that stuff, so there’s sort of an ongoing garage sale featuring carved teak from Fiji and pewter tea service from England. The wines are all estate-grown, but produced off-site. The Chardonnays show barrel fermentation more than fruit, but the 2007 Chardonnay ($28) is somewhat reminiscent of a fat pat of butter—or foie gras—on a crisp slice of apple, with hints of cinnamon apple fritter. The 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon ($38) leads with black licorice and cassis, lacquers the palate and ďŹ nishes long and dry with ďŹ ne, astringent tannins, while immediately enjoyable juicy black cherry and blueberry make the 2007 Cabernet Franc ($38) the takehome choice. Chardonnay and Cab not exotic enough? Be sure to make an appointment for greenhouse tours, held at 11am on weekends. Long before the grapes, Burr and Benevides cultivated orchids—commercially, for more than 20 years—producing hundreds of new hybrids of the hothouse ower in all the colors of the rainbow. Raymond Burr Vineyards, 8339 West Dry Creek Road, Healdsburg. Open daily 11am to 5pm. No fee. 707.433.4365. James Knight

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LAW SCHOOL Informational Seminar Wednesday, April 28 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.

Keynote Speaker: Janice Downey, Esq. Family Law Attorney Empire Class of 2008

Since 1973, Empire College School of Law has prepared more than 700 graduates for careers as attorneys. Alumni now comprise approximately 25% of the Sonoma County Bar and include members of the judiciary in Sonoma, Napa, Mendocino, and Merced Counties.

Call today

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to reserve your seat!

707-546-4000 www.empcol.edu 3035 Cleveland Ave.

Santa Rosa

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

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26

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

27

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Sonoma County Akoia An owner-operated spa, this establishment entices clients to “treat thyself � to the unique services it offers. A warm Thai herbal poultice massage counterbalances the daily wear and tear of life—the sensual body scrub was originally a ritual used to prepare brides for a night of sensuality and pleasure. Check the website for this season’s specials. 452-B Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.1270. Alles Alles offers a green environment and biodynamic skincare products like Dr. Hauschka’s from Germany and others from Switzerland and Hungary. A unique treatment of manual lymphatic massage gently detoxifies the body to promote systemic health, help eliminate congestion and enhance the immune system. 380 Windsor River Road, Windsor. 707.838.3223. Azulene Focusing on waxing for both female and male clientele, Azulene assures that “an eyebrow wax can be an instant facelift for $18.� Azulene offers many genderneutral products, teeth whitening and spray tans to go with the Brazilian body wax. 122 Wikiup Drive, Santa Rosa. 707.576.7546. The Best Day Spa How about a massage while you are fully dressed? The Best Day Spa offers this Thai-style massage as well as others, plus makeup and waxing. A free 30-

minute sauna is offered after all treatments. 3082 Marlow Road, Ste. B4-B5, at the corner of Marlow and Piner roads, Santa Rosa. 707.545.1058. Blush—A Day Spa Run by a husbandand-wife team, James and Delores De Alba, the spa specializes in skincare and browshaping. Organic products are used for facials, which may also incorporate the use of NASA-developed Max 7 LED light therapy. 561 Broadway, Ste C., Sonoma. 707.935.0116. Coldwater Creek—The Spa Famous for its pedicures, Coldwater’s clients have been known to fall asleep in the spectacularly cushy chairs, only to awaken to newly refurbished toes. Part of the Coldwater Creek Company, this spa offers pampering at a consistently high level, and the boutique carries a spa clothing line. Join the e-mail list to receive customer specials. Repeat customers who rebook their next midweek appointment before they leave receive a 20 percent discount. In Montgomery Village, 728 Farmers Lane, Santa Rosa. 707.566.9314. Fairmont Sonoma-Mission Inn Spa Built on the site of ancient thermal baths, this elegant Spanish-Mission-style spa is one of the only luxury resorts in the county with its own source of thermal mineral water. Featuring pools of varying temperatures, the spa offers a bathing ritual to guests and locals who partake of its services. Sonoma County

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1601 Fourth St, San Rafael 415-456-6237

28

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

As the fish once ubiquitous to the North Bay area, the salmon has given its name to roads, a school, a beach, a community and a creek. From its headwaters two miles west of Occidental, Salmon Creek winds its way through some of the prettiest countryside and prime destinations in Sonoma County. The largest stream between Bodega Bay and the Russian River, Salmon Creek follows a 13-mile course from its origin to its mouth at the Pacific Ocean. The journey starts along the Bohemian Highway, where the creek passes through Freestone and flows behind the Osmosis Day Spa (adjacent). While receiving a massage in one of the outlying pagodas, spa clients listen to the stream’s white noise, and combine their sighs with those of the waters passing by. Burbling along its path parallel to the Bohemian Highway, Salmon Creek combines with Nolan Creek and flows through the town of Bodega, home to the schoolhouse and church made famous in Alfred Hitchcock’s film The Birds. The stream continues along the road bearing its name on the western slope of the coastal range mountains, flowing through a narrow canyon bordered by redwoods, firs and native ferns. When it finally reaches the coast, the creek flows under the last of seven bridges at Highway 1, and runs alongside Bean Road, where an enclave of weathered beach houses form the Salmon Creek community. At long last it has reached its final destination, cutting across Salmon Creek Beach as it flows into the Pacific Ocean. This beautiful piece of coastline is known for its rugged waves, loyal surfers and the great white sharks that take a bite of them now and then. At this point, the stream offers an alternative for kayakers and swimmers who know better than to get into the sea. After stormy days, beachgoers scour the sands surrounding the creek for flotsam and jetsam that washes down the waterway. Sadly, the one thing they probably won’t find are salmon, which have all but disappeared, leaving nothing behind but their name.—S.D.

residents benefit from the Good Neighbor program, receiving 10 percent discounts on all spa treatments Sunday–Friday and are welcome to take the 7am hikes or 8am bicycle rides that the hotel offers. Bike trips are $30 and include bike, helmet, water and transport to and from the ride. This expansive facility is noted for its extensive facials, including ones with caviar or Sonoma lavender. 100 Boyes Blvd., Sonoma. 707.938.9000. Hyatt Vineyard Creek Spa True to its name, the Vineyard is a wine-based spa, and most of the products used, including those made from lavender and mustard, are locally made. Vineyard Creek also exclusively offers Matanzas Creek lavender products for wraps, scrubs, facials and just a nice deep breath of Sonoma. 170 Railroad St., Santa Rosa. 707.636.7300. Kenwood Inn & Spa Kenwood focuses on the healing properties of all parts of the grape, from seeds to wine. Kenwood also features Arcona products favored by celebrities. Cost to locals is $35 extra if not staying at the Inn. 10400 Sonoma Hwy. (Highway 12), Kenwood. 707.833.1293. Mermaids Spa & Seaweed Bath Shop You can almost hear the ocean at this spa that caters more to locals than visitors. Clients choose their own remedy for the perfectly personalized therapy session. Seaweed is also used for body wraps and facials. Wednesday is locals day, and all treatments are discounted 10 percent. 115 S. Main St., Sebastopol. 707.823.3535. New Dawn Day Spa New Dawn offers specials like the multi-vitamin power facial for mature skin, mini-facials and a relaxing hour-long treatment applying a warm, botanical mudpack to the scalp and hair to renew their health. Best deals include mini-facials and Swedish massage. Many discounts and specials are offered via email. 6741 Sebastopol Ave., Ste. 160, in the Gravenstein Station. 707.823.8441. Osmosis The Victorian exterior of Osmosis shelters the only cedar enzyme baths in the country, drawing tourists as well as locals interested in an all-green “staycation” destination. Osmosis combines physical detoxification with mental relaxation via enzyme baths and massage, available indoors or in open-air pavilions. Beautiful Zen gardens offer spiritual calm as well. Services also include a three-week, enzyme-cleansing treatment designed to detoxify the body over several visits and includes lifestyle and nutritional coaching with a supervising physician. Check monthly deals online and sign up for birthday specials. 209 Bohemian Hwy., Freestone. 707.823.8231. A Simple Touch Of note is the rose whey bodywrap and facial. In appreciation of those serving our country, military personnel are offered 25 percent off of all services. 239 Center St., Healdsburg. 707.433.6856. Sonoma Coast Villa Inn & Spa Set on 60 acres in the coastal hills of Bodega, this secluded Mediterranean-style estate offers guests a full slate of spa services. Day users must have an appointment. Particularly appealing is the Net Release, a treatment designed to de-stress and ease the numbness and tension from repetitive-use syndrome that computer users experience. Guests may order lunch or light, healthy spa meals made with ingredients grown in the oneacre, on-site garden. 16702 Hwy. 1, Bodega. 707.876.9818. (% Sonoma Spa Easily found on

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I N T H E G K H A R D T T H E AT AT R E

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Theatersports™ Invitational Invitationnal April 23 & 24 at 8pm TTix iix $14 $

SPECIAL EVENT

Your vision… my resources, dedication and integrity… Together, we can catch your dream.

A star-studded concert by b SSanta a n t a RRosa o s a High School Alum mni Alumni Directed by Dan Earl May 8 6:30 6:330 PM $75 on or before Apr 25 $100 afterr April 25 Hors d’oeuvres, desserts, wines, auctions a Playhouse A benefit for 6th Street Playh house TICKETS ON SALE NOW

Suzanne Wandrei EcoGreen Certified 2006 Sebastopol Realtor of the Year

Opens May 28, 2010 Runs thru June 27

www.6thstreetplayhousee.com www.6thstreetplayhouse.com Box Office 707 523-4185 ext 1 52 W6th St Santa Rosa CA 95401

Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage 101 Morris Street - Suite. 100 Sebastopol, CA 95472 cell: 707.292.9414 Please call cell first office direct: 707.824.4260

www.suzannewandrei.com

6>8=6 6A44= Promote Your Green Business in our new section “Going Green” Call Today @ 707.527.1200 and ask for rates, sizes and expert tips! The Bohemian is “Going Green” Every Week!

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the historic plaza, this spa invites clients to relax in the special herbal aromatherapy sauna before one of the spa’s signature body treatments using herbal infused mud, rose masques or shea butter. 457 First St. W., Sonoma. 707.939.8770. The Spa at Hotel Healdsburg This attractive, modern spa is perfect for the high roller. Across from the plaza, its neighbors are chic boutiques and high-end restaurants, such as the hotel’s renowned Dry Creek Kitchen. A whirlpool bath is also available for use with spa services. 327 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.4747. The Spa at Montecito Heights Need a respite from the partying and salsa dancing at Santa Rosa’s landmark Flamingo Resort, or perhaps from the aches and strains of racquetball? Try the on-site spa, which specializes in sports-related massage and treatments. Sauna and Vichy shower treatments with ginger products are also available. Check the website for online specials. Located directly behind the Flamingo. 2777 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.526.0529.

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Avance Day Spa Run by an extremely welcoming and accommodating staff, Avance caters as fully to the comfort of men as women. Men’s treatments include sports massage, waxing, airbrush spray-tanning, deep-pore cleansing facials and even “facials� for the back. 585 Coombsville Road, Napa. 707.226.6822. Calistoga Massage Center & Day Spa Enjoy the tropical massage/facial/pedicure package at prices that match today’s economy. Walk-ins are welcome, and Sonoma County residents get 15 percent off treatments every day. Mention online specials at the time of booking for further discounts. 1219 Washington St., Calistoga. 707.942.6193. Calistoga Spa Hot Springs An unpretentious resort, this spa caters to families with children. There are three heated pools and a kiddies pool for the splashers, as well as outdoor mineral baths. Accommodations include kitchenettes and outdoor barbecues. 1006 Washington St., Calistoga. 866.822.5772. Calistoga Village Inn & Spa Mud plays a starring role in the treatments offered at this vintage spa. But if wallowing in mud—even if it’s infused with pure volcanic ash extract and salicyl aspirin powder—doesn’t suit you, try the wide variety offered here, including milk whey, mustard or seaweed immersions. 1880 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.0991. Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Springs Resort Established in 1952 as an alternative medical treatment, Dr. Wilkinson’s is a Calistoga institution and still offers mud and mineral baths and massage. 1507 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4102. EuroSpa & Inn A soothing and intimate locale, EuroSpa offers something different in Calistoga—no mud baths. They do have mud wraps, however, packaged with massages and facials for a complete rejuvenating experience. 1202 Pine St., Calistoga. 707.942.6829. Golden Haven Hot Springs & Spa This newly remodeled Calistoga institution is one of the few that offers couples mud baths.

This spa also guarantees that guests will lose a minimum of six inches off their total body measurement after just one of their European body wraps. Day users have the use of the hot mineral pool, whirlpool bath and sun deck with any spa treatment. Lots of Internet specials are available. 1713 Lake St., Calistoga. 707.942.8000. Health Spa Napa Valley Vaulting beyond body treatments, this spa offers all things healthy from bike rides to seasonal, organic body wraps. Billed as a fitness/wellness/ health center, Health Spa Napa Valley has a nail-care center and a private Pilates studio. Look for monthly Internet specials. 1030 Main St., St. Helena. 707.967.8800. Indian Springs Resort & Spa Named for the Native Americans familiar with this site long before European settlers arrived, Indian Springs has been a healing resort since 1862. Ancient volcanic ash from the 16-acre hillside mixed with mineral water from four local geysers is used for the mud baths and other treatments. The thermally fed, Olympic-sized pool dates back to 1914 and is heated yearround. 1712 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4913. Lincoln Avenue Spa Clients can opt for Moor mud imported from Hungary or native Calistogan mud, personalized with 12 Ayurvedic herbs, kelp, wine products or even chocolate. If thick mud isn’t your thing, try the liquid mud whirlpool bath. End the day with a relaxing afternoon tea at the spa’s English garden tearoom. Website specials rotate monthly. 1339 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.2950. Roman Hot Springs Resort The Roman offers the three m’s: mud, mineral water and massage. Catering to couples, this spa creates a safe, personalized and comforting environment for clients by providing the same attendant for all services. Clients are able to fully relax knowing that there won’t be a parade of strangers tending their naked bodies. Monthly manager’s specials online. 1300 Washington St., Calistoga. 800.914.8957. Solage Calistoga There are separate men’s and women’s clothing-optional pools as well as the co-ed 98 degree swimming pool. The signature “mudslide� experience starts with guests sliding up to the mud bar to schmooze and choose the essential oil they want to mix with the mud. Oozing into the treatment room, the mud is applied with the aid of an attendant. Clients then lie on a heated lounge to bake the mud on and relax. Lastly, a shower and a soak in the geothermal water ensure a clean finish. Check the website for upcoming specials. 755 Silverado Trail, Calistoga. 866.942.7442. The Spa at the Napa Valley Marriott The Marriott has spa packages designed to bring out the best in everyone. Romance packages are also offered for couples enjoying life without kids. In the candlelit “wet room,� lovebirds can partake in Vichy showers, body scrubs, massage and other sensuous treatments at the same time. 3425 Solano Ave., Napa. 707.254.3330. Villagio Inn & Spa Welcoming to locals, the Villagio makes visitors feel like they are guests at a wealthy friend’s Tuscan estate. The spa boasts 13,000 square feet and 16 treatment rooms, yet insists on personalized service for every patron. Locals there for a day’s pampering may be upgraded, with their treatment being given in one of the lavish suites for a taste of the good life. Co-ed sauna and steam rooms

;PeT]STa 7X[[ B_P Purple and yellow, complementary colors of opposite hues in the color wheel. Lavender and golden mustard, the complementary blend of vibrant plants used for hundreds of years by the ancient Greek, Roman and Native American cultures for their therapeutic qualities, and now by visitors of the Napa Valley. Calistoga’s Lavender Hill Spa utilizes both plants and colors in a warm and healing blend. Added to a steamy bath or in a “musclemelting mustard massage,� the herbs soothe tense, aching bodies and frayed nerves. Nestled into a hillside surrounded by gardens, this intimate spa mingles the sensibilities of the Far East in a distinctly Western setting. Exotic Buddhas, prayer f lags and Asian sculptures and fountains greet wanderers in the tiered gardens, urging them to take a breath and enjoy a few hours of special treatment. Hailed as one of Napa’s most romantic couples’ spas, Lavender Hill offers specials for two: double bathtubs side by side, each “spiced� to individual taste, followed by blanket wraps or massages in warm, softly lit rooms. For the lovebirds craving more quality time together, an intimate cottage lets them enjoy it all, from aromatic baths to foot reflexology, and facials to body massages. Intimacy is guaranteed, since the spa serves a maximum of eight clients at a time. Many treatment packages are “buy one, get one half off,� so be sure to check the website beforehand. 1015 Foothill Blvd. (Highway 29), Calistoga. 707.942.4495.—S.D.

and an outdoor pool are also available for a day’s enjoyment. 6481 Washington St., Yountville. 707.944.8877.

Marin County Asante Day Spa This spa offers something for everyone in the family, from foot, knee and hip rehab classes for grandma to massage for the family pet. They also suggest promoting a healthy lifestyle for yourself by sending a “not so subtle gift hint� via email to those who love you; this links to the spa’s online gift certificate purchase. Other online specials change monthly. 1003 Third St., San Rafael. 415.460.6506. Barefoot & Pregnant This spa aims to comfort expectant mothers, couples or soonto-be older siblings. Barefoot terms itself a “maternity spa,� and offers treatments to reduce the discomforts of pregnancy, from aching feet to stretch marks. A plaster belly cast can be made to remind new moms of their days B.C. (before children). Casa Madrona Hotel, 801 Bridgeway, Sausalito. 415.354.8308. (Also in Sonoma County at the Hotel Healdsburg & Spa, 327 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.4747.) Eden Day Spa A quaint spa in the heart of even quainter San Anselmo, Eden offers threading, an ancient Middle Eastern form of hair removal. The hair is gently lifted from the root and is less painful than waxing. Walk-ins are welcome, but the spa only holds four clients, so reservations are recommended. Check for monthly online specials. 541 San Anselmo Ave., San Anselmo. 415.464.9111. Evo Spa If you can’t find the treatment you are looking for here, you probably won’t find it anywhere. From Hungarian paprika facials and noninvasive facelifts to zero gravity, dry hydrotherapy from Italy—complete with chromatherapy lights and experienced fully clothed—Evo’s got

it. Evo is heavily into rituals, and states that “transformation is their passion.� Sign up on the email list to receive monthly online coupons and specials. 216 Strawberry Village, Mill Valley. 415.383.3223. Safronya Ayurveda, the 5,000-year-old Indian science of life and self-healing, is the foundation for treatments at Safronya. The spa’s extensive menu takes a holistic approach to health, offering classes in nutrition, yoga and meditation along with the usual slate of spa treatments. To promote community, Safronya offers daylong retreats for cancer patients and free introductory classes to the practice of Ayurveda. Online specials for services and products are also offered. 523 D St., San Rafael. 415.259.0433. Spa Soleil Who doesn’t want to get rid of cellulite? Spa Soleil specializes in endermologie, a noninvasive technique of reducing these cottage cheese–like fat deposits. It also has services aimed at weight loss, firming and acne control. Check the website for monthly or email specials. 2829 Bridgeway, Ste. 101, Sausalito. 415.332.5551. Stellar Spa New to its menu is ultrasonic microdermabrasion. Clients may have massages in the seawater negative-ion inhalation room, breathing in the calming effects of negative ions via a fine water mist. Studies show this helps relieve headaches, allergies and jet lag. Join the spa’s free online club and receive special monthly discounts; monthly specials can also be found online for non–club members. 26 Tamalpais Drive, Corte Madera. 415.924.7300. Tea Garden Springs Going beyond the usual, Tea Garden offers advanced body therapies that address the effects of emotions and thought patterns on a person’s health. The spa believes in the art of service, and strongly supports the community with monetary donations to schools and other organizations. 38 Miller Ave., Mill Valley. 415.389.7123. THE BOHEMIAN

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Feel at Home with Your Dentist! ! Full Service Dentistry 6XPPHUILHOG 5RDG ‡ 6DQWD 5RVD ‡ Bargain Tuesday - $7.50 All Shows Bargain Tuesday $7.00 All Shows Schedule for Fri, Feb -16th 20th Thu, Feb Schedule Schedule for for Fri, Fri, April April 23rd –– Thu, April April26th 22nd 29th Schedule for Fri, June 22nd - Thu, June 28th

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“A Triumph!â€? – New “A Glorious Throwback ToYork The Observer More Stylized, THE WRESTLER “A Clever And Often Riotous Burst Of Cynicism!â€? Painterly Work Of Decades Past!â€? – LA (12:20) 2:45 5:10 9:45 R Times EN 7:30 ROSE – LA San VIE Francisco Chronicle (12:45) 3:45 6:45OF 9:45 PG-13 THEAward SECRET KELLS 10 Academy Noms Including Best Picture! YOUTH IN 7:00 REVOLT (1:00) 3:00 5:00 9:00 NR SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (1:30) 3:30 5:30 7:40 Deeply 9:40 R– “ä–&#x;ä–&#x;ä–&#x;ä–&#x; – Really, Truly, “Superb! No One4:00 Could Make This 9:40 R Believable One of (1:15) This Year’s 7:10 Best!â€? – More Newsday “AIt Glorious Throwback To Francisco The Stylized, If Were Fiction!â€? – San Chronicle Painterly Work OfAward Decades Past!â€? – LA Times ONCE 8 Academy Noms Including PRODIGAL SONS (1:00) 3:10 7:30 9:40 R Best Picture, Best5:20 ActorOF & Best Director! THE SECRET KELLS (2:20) 9:10 NR No 9:10 Show Tue or Thu (1:00) 3:00 5:00 NR MILK7:00– 9:00 “Haunting and Hypnotic!â€? Rolling Stone Note: No 7pm ShowFunny!â€? Thu! “Wise, Humble and Effortlessly (1:30) 4:10 6:45 9:30 R – Newsweek THE“Riveting! GIRL THE DRAGON TATTOO Critics’ Pick!â€? – Boston Globe PleaseWITH Note: No 1:30 Show Sat, No 6:45 Show Thu WAITRESS (1:10) 4:30 7:30 NR 4:00 7:10 9:30 Best R Picture! THE(1:30) MOST DANGEROUS 5 Academy Award Noms Including â€œâ€ŤŰşŰşŰşâ€Ź1/2! AnFROST/NIXON Unexpected Gem!â€? – USA Today

MAN IN AMERICA (2:15) 7:20 R NR GREENBERG 4:30 9:30 “Swoonly(12:10) Romatic, Mysterious, Hilarious!� (12:00) 9:50 R Slant5:00 Magazine THE –GIRL WITHROAD THE REVOLUTIONARY “Deliciously Unsettling!� PARIS, JE TATTOO T’AIME (11:45) 4:45 9:50– RLA Times DRAGON (1:15)GHOST 4:15 7:00 9:30 R THE WRITER (1:10) 4:30the7:30 NR Premiere of Kevin Jorgenson presents California (2:15) 7:15 PG-13 PURE: BOULDERING FLICK THEAGHOST WRITER Michael Moore’s Feb6:50 26th at 7:15 (2:15) PG-13 THE Thu, MOST DANGEROUS Note: No 6:50pm Show Tue, Wed or Thu! SICKO MOVIES MORNING MANIN INTHE AMERICA

“Another Absolute Cracker, Starts Fri, June Often 29th! Wonderfully Fri, Sat, Sun &PENTAGON Mon DANIEL ELLSBERG AND THE PAPERS Advance TicketsFilthily On Sale Now at Box And Sometimes Funny, But AlsoOfďŹ ce! Deeply 9:50 AM (12:10) 4:30 6:50 NR No7:30 6:50 Show Tue or Thu FROZEN RIVER (12:00) 2:30 5:00 10:00 And Unexpectedly Moving!â€? – Daily Telegraph 10:15 AM VICKY Their CRISTINA BARCELONA First Joint Venture In 25 Years! NT LIVE: THE HABIT OF 10:20 ART AM CHANGELING Venessa Redgrave Meryl Streep Close CHEECH AND CHONG’S Thu, Apr 22nd at 7pm & Sat, AprilGlenn 24th10:40 at 11am AM RACHEL GETTING MARRIED For Tickets Click rialtocinemas.com HEYSHORTS WATCH THIS 2009 LIVE ACTION (Fri/Mon Only)) 10:45 AM EVENING 10:45 Sat, Apr17th at 11pm & 595-4849 Tue, Apr 20th 8pmAM 2009 ANIMATED SHORTS (Sun Only) Fri,800 June 29th! orStarts Call TIX

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! 21 Years in Practice ! Cosmetic Dentistry ! Warm environment with knowledgable staff ! All ages welcome!

Rose Lucchese DDS 568 Petaluma Ave Sebastopol

707-829-0692

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6>CC0 30=24 Doc following reinvention of ‘A Chorus Line’ screens April 23 at the Napa Valley Opera House. See Film list, p46.

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Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Eloy Camacho.

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N O R T H B AY M O V I E T I M E S www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

33

34

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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Syrah ’n’ Jah

Apples vs. Eggs

Reggae, reggae, everywhere, and not a drop to drink. That’s how it’s been in the Napa Valley, whose reggae fans have had to drive an hour or more to see the actual stuff live and onstage instead of on Vimeo. That drought is over this weekend with the introduction of Reggae in the Valley, an all-day festival of positive vibes and conscious rhythms at the fairgrounds. In what will hopefully be an annual event, over seven reggae acts are scheduled to usher in the summertime festival season. Among them are David Kirtan from Barbados, Ras Indio from Belize, Ishi Dube from India and acts from California’s own turf, including Rocker T, Mystic Roots and Midnight Sun. There’s even Napa’s own C. R. Vibes. It all goes down on Saturday, April 24, at the Napa Valley Expo Fairgrounds. 575 Third St., Napa. 4pm to 11pm. $20–$25. 707.225.5649.

It happens every year, and we can’t figure out why: Sebastopol’s Apple Blossom Festival always takes place on the same day as Petaluma’s Butter & Eggs Day. Must we Sonoma County residents be forced to choose? Both boast plenty of food, frivolity and fun, so it’s not a tough decision for the festivalgoer. Who really hurt are the kids in band class expected to march in both parades. After all, they’ve got to line up in Sebastopol for the 10am parade, march down Main Street, hop on a bus and drive to Petaluma, line up on Fourth Street, march through downtown and whew! All this in a hot uniform and sometimes lugging a very heavy instrument to boot! Let’s hear it for the kids when both festivals take place on Saturday, April 24. Main Street and Ives Park in Sebastopol; downtown Petaluma. Sebastopol parade at 10am; Petaluma at noon. Both free.

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Can’t, Shan’t, Aunt

Parsing Politics

The East Bay foursome the Shants were just taking a lazy weekend trip up to Monte Rio, that’s all. Some hiking, some barbecuing, maybe strumming some new tunes. But the magic charm of the redwoods took hold, and lackadaisical pleasures turned to musical endeavors. In a rustic cabin, the band set up some microphones and captured eight songs live, full of such immediacy that they’ve been officially released as Russian River Songs. Though now residing in Oakland, members of the Shants come from such locales as South Louisiana, Minnesota and here in California. “I figure we sound exactly like those geographies,� writes frontman Skip Allums. “Sad, lush and vibrant; bleak and windy; and sunshine and green hills.� They return to Sonoma County on Saturday, April 24, at the Lagunitas Tap Room. 1280 N. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma. 3pm. Free. 707.778.8776.

“Energy crisis.� “Tax relief.� “Voter revolt.� These are everyday phrases that we read in newspapers and take for granted. UC Berkeley professor of linguistics and cognitive science George Lakoff doesn’t. As the author of several books on language and politics, including the excellent Don’t Think of an Elephant: Know Your Values and Frame the Debate, Lakoff takes progressives to task for accepting and perpetuating the framework of language set forth by conservative think tanks. Take “tax relief,� for example—one gets relief from sickness, from disease, from exhaustion. In this single phrase, adopted during the Bush administration, conservatives were able to dictate taxes as a plague instead of a patriotic duty. Lakoff appears in conversation with Marin author Joan Ryan on Wednesday, April 28, at 142 Throckmorton Theatre. 142 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley. 7:30pm. $12–$15. 415.383.9600.

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

35

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Mc Near’s Dining House

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Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak TUE 5/4 • 8:00PM DOORS • $20 ADV/$25 DOS • 21+ REGGAE

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GROUNDATION PLUS DJ JACQUES

SAT 5/8 • 8:00PM DOORS • $20 ADV/$25 DOS • 21+ PINK FLOYD TRIBUTE

HOUSE OF FLOYD WED 5/12 • 7:30PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ FOLK/POP

AN EVENING WITH

JONATHAN RICHMAN WITH TOMMY LARKINS FRI 5/14 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 ADV/$18 DOS • 21+ ROCK/AMERICANA/COUNTRY

ROGER CLYNE & THE PEACEMAKERS THUR 5/20 • 7:00PM DOORS • $15 ADV/$18 DOS • 21+ SHOEGAZE/EXPERIMENTAL/INDIE

KAKI KING FRI 5/21 • 8:00PM DOORS • $25 • 21+ TEXAS SWAMP BOOGIE

MARCIA BALL PLUS WARREN HOOD

Twice As Good

SUN 5/23 • 8:00PM DOORS • $25 ADV/$28 DOS • 21+ REGGAE

Saturday, April 24th • 8pm

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Rockin' Blues

MIDNITE SAT 5/29 • 8:00PM DOORS • $30 ADV/$35 DOS • 21+ COUNTRY

THE DESERT ROSE BAND FRI 6/4 • 8:45PM DOORS • $17 • 21+

AN EVENING WITH

Big Screen Event

WONDERBREAD 5

WHO R U PICKING?

SUN 6/13 • 7:30PM DOORS • $20 ADV/$23 DOS NEW ORLEANS FUNK

MAYWEATHER vs MOSLEY THE WELTERWEIGHT FIGHT

Saturday, May 1st • 6pm

THE RADIATORS For All Ages Shows • No Children Under 10 Allowed

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

707-765-2121

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www.mcnears.com 36

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

Steve Kimock Crazy Engine, with Melvin Seals, share a bill with the great bassist Bobby Vega at Hopmonk on April 21. See Concerts, above.

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David J lured back to performing by local tribute band efore this year, David J, bassist for the seminal goth band Bauhaus and the unlikely radio success story Love and Rockets, wasn’t really doing much in the way of playing live. He wrote, directed and scored a play on Edie Sedgwick’s life. He spun obligatory DJ sets at nightclubs. He tromped around with a reunited Bauhaus, he played Coachella with Love and Rockets. He wrote screenplays for movies. But his solo material, highly dramatic and theatrical, had mostly been confined to the studio. Leave it up to a tribute band to woo the subject of its musical homage back onto the stage. Luv’n Rockets, the local outďŹ t which covers Love and Rockets songs, opens for David J in Santa Rosa this weekend, the latest in a series of collaborative shows that have brought this supremely talented icon out of hibernation. Almost more a theater piece than a concert, David J’s sets—separated into “Bouquets,â€? “Wreathsâ€? and “Laurelsâ€?—conjure old Bauhaus material (he wrote “Bela Lugosi’s Deadâ€?), storytelling (Andy Warhol and the Factory), cover songs (Nick Cave, Allen Ginsberg) and newer solo tracks. The only thing he doesn’t do is Love and Rockets songs, but with Luv’n Rockets opening, he doesn’t need to. Adding to the ambiance is David J’s choice of instrumentation: a lone violin, an upright bass and a piano. That’s it. With such spare accompaniment behind him, and in small glasses and a compact hat, it’s tempting to expect a quiet, casual show. But has David J ever done anything quietly or casually? This is the guy who created such images as virginal brides ďŹ ling past tombs strewn with dead owers, and made them stick to the hearts of a million disaffected Reagan youths. Expect the unexpected when David J plays with Luv’n Rockets on Friday, April 24, at Chrome Lotus. 501 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. 9pm. $12. www.chromelotussr.com. Gabe Meline

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Live Music

MicroBrew Sampling

Mitch Woods & his Rocket 88s

Food

(3:00-4:45)

77 El Deora (1:30-2:45)

Beverages

The Eldorados

Fun for All

(12 - 1:15)

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Presented by The San Rafael Business Improvement District

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QRRQ SP ‡ 3DUDGH SP Event Sponsors: Bank of Marin, Bohemian, Eagle Distributing Company, Marin Independent Journal, Marin Sanitary Service, Miracle Auto Painting, 3 )HPHQLD 6RQV 3DFL´F 6XQ 6DQ 5DIDHO -RH­V 6HDJDWH 3URSHUWLHV ,QF :DOJUHHQV

Visit www.downtownsanrafael.org or call 415-720-5591

THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

37

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the last day saloon

AV\jc^iVh IVe Gddb

nightclub & restaurant

STEVE LUCKY & THE RHUMBA BUMS

the best place for live music, dancing and dining THE BAR AND RESTAURANT OPENS ON ALL SHOW DAYS AT 4 PM 9:00 PM SHOW > $20 > BLUES

4/23

AN EVENING WITH

TOMMY CASTRO BAND 4/24

9:00 PM SHOW > $8/10 > 80'S HITS

BACK TO THE 80' S SINGLES NIGHT with DJ Mars and a live on-stage dating game, speed dating, and best outfit contest

4/30 8:30 PM SHOW > $13/15 > ROCK SFARZO STRINGS PRESENTS

TRAVIS MEEKS (OF DAYS OF THE NEW) + COUNTER BALANCE + DARKSIDE sHINE

5/4

Saturday, April 24 Wed, Apr 21 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45 Jazzercise 10am-12:15pm Scottish Dance Youth and Family 7:00-10:00pm Singles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thur, Apr 22 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45 Jazzercise 7:25–10:30pm Circles N’ Squares Square Dance Club Fri, Apr 23 8:45-9:45am Jazzercise 7:00pm DJ Steve Luther hosts AN EVENING OF MOTOWN, DISCO, & ROCK ‘N ROLL $10 Sat, Apr 24 8:00-9:00am; 9:15-10:15am Jazzercise 10:30–11:45am SALSA WORKOUT with DJ Steve Luther 7:00pm DJ Steve Luther presents STEVE LUCKY & THE RHUMBA BUMS $15 Sun, Apr 25 8:30-9:30am Jazzercise 10:30–11:30am Zumba Fitness w/Anna 1:30–3:30pm Vintage Dance 5:00–9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country-Western Lessons & Dancing $10 Mon, Apr 26 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 7:00pm Northwest Railroad Historical Society Meeting Tues, Apr 27 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30–10:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 9:30, Meeting 10:00 7:30pm AFRICAN DANCE with Victoria Strowbridge

featuring West African & Congolese Dance

9:00 PM SHOW > $10/12 > ROCK REGGAE

40 OZ. TO FREEDOM (SUBLIME TRIBUTE) + OPEN MARKET 5/7

Santa Rosa’s Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue • Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 • www.monroe-hall.com

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9:30 PM SHOW > $10 > 70'S-NOW DANCE

POP FICTION

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5/8 9:00 PM SHOW > $5-20 > TOP 40 DANCE Odyssey Entertainment Group presents "Star Struck"

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DJ Sykwidit aka Ousa + DJ Tecni

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5/14

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9:00 PM SHOW > $15 > MOTOWN

PRIDE & JOY

5/15

HAPPY HA H AP A APP PPY HOUR HO H HOU OU O U R M-F M -F 4-7PM 4 4-7 -7P 7P PM M SUN S UN 1 11-7PM 11-7P 1-7PM

9:00 PM SHOW > $15/18 > REGGAE

PREZIDENT DJ BROWN +JACQUES

5/20

$2 $ 2 OFF OF F ALL OF A ALL L APPETIZERS A PPET I Z ERS APPETIZ RS 7%,,3 s 0).43 s #!2 "/-"3 7 7 %, %, , 3 s 3 s 0 3 0).4 ) . 4 3 s 3 s s #!2 #! 2 2 " /- "3 2 "/ "

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9:30 PM SHOW > $15 > ROCK

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TRAINWRECK

FEATURING KYLE GASS FROM tenacious D

5/24

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9:30 PM SHOW > $10/12 > ROCK

SMILE EMPTY SOUL for reservations: 707.545.5876

707.545.2343

hey’d have to be insane in the brain to let opportunity slip them by, as longtime weed champions Cypress Hill release Rise Up this week on April 20, aka 4-20, aka the day all dedicated stoners either call in “sick� to work or mysteriously disappear at 4:15pm. “Light It Up� and “Pass the Dutch� are just two of the pot champions’ new odes. . . . “Doobie Ashtray� rapper Devin the Dude comes blunted this Tuesday with Suite #420, lending his lyrical head-nod to future classics like “We Get High� and “Ultimate High.� . . . SoCal producer emeritus Madlib, he of the underground cheeba classic “America’s Most Blunted,� drops an instrumental collection titled 420 Chalice Allstars, perfectly constructed for overcast afternoons with the Zippo. Of course, Willie Nelson’s getting in on the act this April 20, too, although Country Music isn’t at all like Nelson’s recent pot-themed reggae album—just a host of old-fashioned chestnuts like the Louvin Brothers’ “My Baby’s Gone� and Merle Travis’ “Dark as a Dungeon,� and no mention of the green leafy at all. . . . Merle Haggard, who’s been famous for extolling the virtues of lighting up—despite his “Okie from Muskogee� line about not smoking marijuana in the Oklahoma town—also releases I Am What I Am. The 1960s psych-rock pioneer Roky Erickson teams up with the great Austin band Okkervil River for True Love Cast Out All Evil, a remarkable return to form after years of drug problems plagued the 13th Floor Elevators singer. . . . And would it truly be 4-20 without the Grateful Dead? The vault of Jerry Garcia & Co. is opened for Crimson, White & Indigo: Philadelphia, July 7, 1989, a four-disc set chronicling the high times between Garcia’s coma and keyboardist Brent Mydland’s death. But ultimately, the 4-20 Lifetime Achievement Award must be presented to the Kottonmouth Kings (above). The bong-toting barons of all things cannabis released Fire It Up the last time April 20 fell on a new-release day, in 2004, and this week’s Long Live the Kings continues an epic streak of sinsemilla songwriting, with “Great When You’re High,� “Black Smoke,� “Reefer Madness,� “Let the Indo Blow� and the plain and simple “Let’s Do Drugs.�

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120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca

lastdaysaloon.com

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THE BOHEMIAN

Counting the stoner-themed albums released on this week’s weed holiday

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all shows are 21+ unless noted

04.21.10-04.27.10

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+ SOIL +BLACK SUNSHINE

38

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Open Jam Night! 707.874.9037 | www.barleynhops.com 3688 Bohemian Highway, Occidental

Take a scenic drive for a unique dining experience

Dinner and a Show

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THE JEB BRADY BAND Apr 23 R&B and Blues Sat

8:00pm / In the Bar Big Band Bash

Sun

Rock ’N Roll Dance Party 8:30pm The Return of

Apr 25

SINGER/SONGWRITER SERIES

Fri

Talented Performers debut their Music 7:00pm The Coolest Swing

Apr 30

Debu

STOMPY JONES VINYL May 1 Latin Funk Masters 8:30pm

Sat

8:30pm “The Motor City’s�

Fri

May 7 KEVIN RUSSELL Contemporary Blues 8:30pm

LAVEY SMITH

Sat

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Sun

AND HER RED HOT SKILLET LICKERS 8:30pm

MOTHER’S DAY May 9 BRUNCH BUFFET 10AM–3PM DINNER 5–8PM

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Fri

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Sat

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FIREWHEEL

Roots Rock 5:00pm

Apr 29 HOSTED BY LAURALEE BROWN Rancho t!

May 8

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JOHNNY ALLAIR’S

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Fri

Apr 24

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Reservations advised

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Bfrom rews the world &Tasty Paround ub Grub

Hand-Crafted

May 14 May 15

PETTY THEFT

The Ultimate Tom Petty Tribute 8:30pm

BAUTISTA

Latin Rock-Jazz Fusion Dance Band 8:30pm

415.662.2219

On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com

THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

39

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ttickets i c kets also a l s o available ava il a b l e at: at : The T h e Last L a s t Record Re c o r d Store, S to r e , www.brownpapertickets.com, w w w. b r ow np a p e r ti c kets .c o m , aand nd C Cal al S Skate k a te www.s on oma c ountyrollerderby.org , 707-584-2890 707-584-2890 info i nfo online o nl i ne www.sonomacountyrollerderby.org,

E>;CA>= D=8C4 Using solenoids, Pat Metheny plays all these instruments and more, all at once.

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Pat Metheny’s robot-jazz ‘orchestrion’ project By Gabe Meline

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www.bohemian.com

www.bohemian.com

www.bohemian .bohemian.com

www.bohemian.com

40

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

at Metheny is jazz’s eternal teenager, forever fiddling with knobs and effects, playing as many noodling notes as possible, and tonight, on Easter Sunday, calling at 11:30pm to talk about his new project, the musical equivalent of the ultimate remote-control car. One forgives Metheny, and not just for calling so late. The musical remotecontrol car he’s been playing with—called an “orchestrion�—is something worth getting excited about. Think of a player piano. Then think of a whole collection of drums, vibes, bells and homemade noisemaking contraptions. Then imagine that these dozens of instruments, each creating simultaneous and unique sounds, are controlled by just one person in the center of the stage through his electric guitar. Metheny does not use the word “dude,� but it’s implied. “People are going really crazy,� the 17-time Grammy winner says, having just returned from a tour of Europe with the orchestrion. “I’ve never gotten a reaction like that. It’s something very unusual. But then again, there’s never really been a concert like this.� There have, however, been orchestrions, albeit about a hundred years ago. If you’re lucky, you’ve seen one at a museum. Perhaps you’ve seen a smaller scale orchestrion in the

center of a carousel. As outgrowths of player pianos, they were “the first way a composer could present their music without actually being in the room,� says Metheny, adding that no real recordings exist of early orchestrions. “There didn’t need to be a recording of them, because they were the recording!� Metheny’s interest in orchestrions brimmed for years until he discovered that sufficient technology existed to dictate the force of each note played and to send signals to multiple instruments from one control center. Solenoids—those magnetic coils that trigger pinball flippers—strike each separate instrument, reacting to Metheny’s guitar pick and the places where his fingers fret the strings. It sounds crazy. It is crazy. “It’s a match of the 19th century and the 21st century,� Metheny laughs. “It’s sort of like we skipped the 20th century. My experience in the areas of synths and cords and wires and knobs—I’ve grown up with all that stuff. It’s not a big deal for me to work with those elements in a musical way. But to have an output system that’s acoustic in nature, it’s fantastic. It’s the best of both worlds to me.� A measure of his success is that the recording of this project, Orchestrion, sounds almost exactly like a regular Pat Metheny album. There is no trace of novelty or gimmick in the music; it’s layered with actual improvisation without being pre-programmed. Whether or not it’s your thing, Metheny says, “it does get people talking, there’s no question about it. It challenges a lot of people.� In what way? “For a lot of people, it’s really about their fear of technology or their fear of something breaking,� says Metheny. “They say, ‘Aren’t you afraid it’s gonna break?’ Well, I’m a guitar player. A string could break at any minute, there’s nothing to stop it from happening. I have to be prepared for that moment. This is like that too.� Metheny continues. “The next question might be, ‘Aren’t you afraid that you’re gonna lose the interaction?’ Well, you know, couldn’t you ask that of anybody who plays a solo concert? Yeah, it’s just you. It’s up to you to make sure it’s interesting and cool. Or that same person might say, ‘Well, aren’t you replacing other musicians?’ Well, when Walt Disney made Bambi, did a Hollywood deer lose a job? No! It’s a different form, it’s a completely different way of doing things.� This tour’s set list—Metheny’s calling late because he’s been loading the entire orchestrion into a trailer all day—presents Orchestrion tracks with reworked arrangements of classic material. And along with performing for couples on dates, Metheny looks forward on this tour to finally meeting the “orchestrion nuts� spread out all over the country that he’s been getting emails from. “Since the album came out, I’ve heard from the other 23 people in the world who are building instruments like this,� he says. “None of these guys know each other. They don’t even know that other people are doing it. So I’ve become a sort of clearinghouse for all these wacky people out there who are doing amazing, interesting things.� Pat Metheny brings his ‘Orchestrion’ tour to town on Sunday, April 25, at the Napa Valley Opera House (‘One of my favorite places to play in the world,’ he says). 1030 Main St., Napa. 7pm. $55–$75. 707.226.7372.

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THE BOHEMIAN

103 8B 102:

SRJC’s ‘Grease’ returns the show to its basics there’s just something about this show that “Iguess seems to capture our collective psyche,� muses Laura Downing-Lee, who teaches acting at SRJC and is directing its upcoming production of Grease. When first approaching this raging, rock ’n’ roll behemoth, Downing-Lee had to decide which version of Grease she wanted to perform. Grease has changed quite a bit since the show first appeared on Broadway in 1972, racking up a whopping 3,388 performances in its record-breaking nine-year run. “There is a whole generation of people who grew up with the movie,� she explains. “They’ve never seen the play, and a lot of people are surprised at how different it is. For one thing, some of the best-loved songs in the movie were never in the play.� These include “Sandy,� “Hopelessly Devoted to You� and (believe it or not) “You’re the One That I Love,� the movie-ending crowd-pleaser that pretty much defines the show. Downing-Lee eventually gained permission to put all of those songs into the SRJC version. According to Downing-Lee, the music in Grease is better than some people realize. “If you pay attention,� she argues, “the music in Grease is actually a series of spoofs of popular songs from the ’50s. Some are very broad satire and others are more low-key, but when you look at the play closely, you see that there is some very sophisticated commentary on the music of the late ’50s. “This,� she continues, “was a very significant period in the evolution of rock ’n’ roll music. So in Grease, while the songs themselves aren’t terribly sophisticated, the level of commentary they are making is very sophisticated. Either way, it’s a whole lot of fun!� Grease runs April 23–May 2 in the Burbank Auditorium at SRJC, 1501 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. $12–$18. 707.527.4343. David Templeton

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Westerns on the BIG SCREEN

Shane April 25 at 2pm All Seats $6.00

#1 again, thanks for the continuous support Sonoma County, see you in the water, or come by the shop!

HORROR on the BIG SCREEN

The Evil Dead APRIL 30 9:00 PM All Seats $6.00

Spreckels Performing Arts Center 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park

Box Office: 588-3400

+HPS` :\YM 9LWVY[! ‹ :OVW WOVUL!

www.NorthernLightSurf.com "ODEGA (WY "ODEGA #! s - & 3AT 3UN THE BOHEMIAN

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The Yes Men save SSU students, at least hen it comes to a burnable fuel, what’s more plentiful than whale blubber? Human blubber, of course. Introducing vivoleum, the fuel of the future—not to mention the past—that finds a solution to global warming and our burgeoning energy crisis through a nice calorie-rich diet. Meet Reggie. Reggie, an ExxonMobil employee who’s been exposed to too many toxins, is, in his own words, “going to die anyway.� So why shouldn’t he help those left behind? He’s glad to! Interviewed after singing a few refrains of “You Light Up My Life,� Reggie says that he would like to be the candle burning on a cafe table when lovers first meet. Transformed into vivoleum, Reggie can do just that. He’s glad to be of service. Some 500 lunchtime attendees of a Canadian energy conference learned more than they wanted to about vivoleum and Reggie in 2008, watching a tribute video to the vanquished janitor as they unwittingly held lighted candles shaped in his image. The lunchers also detected a foul smell. While hair had been placed in the candles to give them a noxious odor, those unfamiliar might be forgiven for thinking it to be the posthumous scent of Reggie himself. The Yes Men had pulled another prank. The Yes Men, Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonanno, regularly pose as corporate hacks to soberly apologize for such corporate wrongs as the Bhopal disaster or to amend the U.S. Chamber of Commerce’s stand on climate change or to end the Iraq War on behalf of the U.S. government. Masters of the bland, the Yes Men recently unveiled their latest Exxon-Mobil initiative, a CEO survival suit that allows the richest guys in the room to travel freely through an apocalyptic disaster, safely encased in inflatables. What’s most shocking about the Yes Men’s pranks are not the stunts themselves, but the mild acceptance with which their regularly outrageous statements and actions are accepted by both the press and corporate citizens. Bichlbaum and Bonanno travel to SSU to spread the word about not simply accepting the outrageous behavior of others on Wednesday, April 28, at the Warren Auditorium, 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. 7:30pm. $10; free, students and faculty. 707.664.2382.

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Gretchen Giles

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44

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THE BOHEMIAN

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Call Today to Advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com THE BOHEMIAN

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Petaluma Film Fest

May 1, 2010 Mystic Theatre 26 Animated and Live Action Shorts with Filmmakers in Conversation

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;>E4 H>DA <>C74A Earth Day Events, Part II

hile we’re of the strict opinion that every day is Earth Day and—like women, African Americans and the LBGTQ community—does not need to be ghettoized with its own month or day, we appear to be in the distinct minority. Everyone else, it seems, likes to have one day a year—for the past 40 years, that is—to stop and reflect upon the great honor that it is to live upon this good green planet. And so it is that we agree to join the merriment, looking to some of the remaining celebrations (lots of folks did their thing last weekend). Marin County gets its dirt on big time, taking over the College of Marin campus for a festival that features Sen. Mark Leno; Dirt Diva Annie Spiegelman; author Eric Corey Freed of Green Building for Dummies; sustainability professor Andres Edwards; music from members of Hot Buttered Rum, New Monsoon and Zero teaming up; Joy of Cooking’s Terri Garthwaite performing with niece Oona Garthwaite; perennial novelty Dr. Elmo and kids stuff, bien sur; an Iron Chef– style cook-off with masters from Whole Foods Market; food from Lydia’s Lovin’ (bastion of the annual Harmony Festival); and the ubiquitous more. Saturday, April 24, from 11am to 6pm. COM, 835 College Ave., Kentfield. Free. www.earthdaymarin.org. Healdsburg formally dedicates Giorgi Park with its April 24 Earth Day party, including a tree climbing demonstration, bird rescue displays, recycled art, plenty of food and fun. Dedication at 10:30am; fest until 2pm. 540 University Ave. Roseland Elementary celebrates the earth and its diversity on Sunday, April 25, from noon to 5pm at the school campus, 950 Sebastopol Road, Santa Rosa. 707.829.3460. Meanwhile, the Environmental Education Coalition of Napa County gets all earthy in a big way with a large gathering of community, civic and government groups and agencies setting up booths in Napa’s Veterans Memorial Park with plenty of live music and even a green fashion show at 2pm. Food, beer and wine? D’oh. 11am to 5pm. Third and Main streets, Napa. 707.944.0799.

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Women’s Health Specialists confidential compassionate nonjudgmental More Than Just Health Care...

707.537.1171 www.cawhs.org THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

47

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04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS

Placing an Ad

Contacting Us

§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m.

Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. ph: 707.527.1200

√ By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

g Employment Jobs

ALL CASH VENDING! Be the boss of your own local route with 25 new machines and candy for $9,995. Call today! 1-888-611-9739. Multi vend, LLC. (AAN CAN)

Join 6th Annual Peggy Sue’s Chili & Pasta Cook-Off, Friday, June 11th. Registration is $18. Awards, Live Entertainment, A Place to Play Youth Park, Santa Rosa 5-8pm. Call Peggy 707-575-3267 or Electronics visit website at www.peggyDirectTVFree suescruise.com. Supporting Safe School Ambassador. Standard installation! Free Showtime+Starz (3mo)! Free $$$HELP HD/DVR upgrade! Ends 7/14/10. New customers only, WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD qual pkgs from $29.99/mo. cases from Home! No Experi- DirectStarTV 1-888-650-7714. ence Necessary! Call our Live (AAN CAN)

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Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) Career Development

Free Advice! We’ll Help You Choose A Program Or Degree To Get Your Career & Your Life On Track. Call Collegebound

FREE 6-Room DISH Network Satellite System!

Classes & Instruction

MacAdvantage Macintosh

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FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Hardware/ Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email,Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6 info@themacadvantage.com 707.664.0400

gg For Sale

Remodeling/Repair

Family Services Adoptions

Pregnant? Considering Adoption? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866/413-6293 (AAN CAN)

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We’ll Help You Choose A Program Or Degree To Get Your Career & Your Life On Track. Call Collegebound Network Today! 1-877-461-5940 (AAN CAN)

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Miscellaneous

Gain National Exposure

Roofing

All Types of Roofing

Reach over 5 million young, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202/289-8484

New roofs, dry rot repair, mobile homes, gutters. Licensed , bonded and insured. Free estimates. Scott- 707-838-8177.

Single Services

Christian Dating Sign up NOW for FREE membership, to find that someone Special! Contact: interracialchristiandating.net

g Real Estate Rentals Homes

ALL AREAS - HOUSES FOR RENT Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for FREE! Visit: www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN)

Stony Point Rd.

Standish Ave

Storage Master Self Storage

#

Dutton Ave.

Corby Auto Row

Rohnert Park

3205 Dutton Avenue

Santa Rosa

HWY 101

• Call for our current specials • Month to Month Availability • Boxes, Packaging & Moving Supplies • Residential & Commercial • Professional On-site Managers

Hearn Rd.

Business Opportunities

Consultants/Repair

Misc Services

Bellevue

Love Chilli & Pasta and Love to Cook?

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Todd Rd.

Professional male seeks massage at my home, evenings. Prefer female. Amateur or beginner okay. Start $60/hour. 707.433.9086

No experience necessary. Meet new people, take home cash, tips. Up to $200 per shift. Training placement and certification provided. Call 877/435-2230. (AAN CAN)

restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707-795-0924, schaumann1@earthlink.net

W. Robles

Massage

Bartenders in Demand

3227 Santa Rosa Ave, 95407. FREE checkup, expert laptop repair, tune-up, spyware removal. 9am-5pm, Tues-Sat. 707-528-8340.

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Network Today! 1-877-892-2642 (AAN CAN)

1435 Sebastopol Road

3 FOR FREE Prepay first

3 months, get the next month free

707-546-0000 707-578-3299

Locally Owned & Operated

Golden Star Grafix Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic

THE PLACE TO MEET FUN

Computer Services

g GET 2 COMPUTERS FOR PRICE OF ONE! BUSINESS CARDS • BROCHURES POSTERS • T-SHIRTS CD COVERS • FLYERS PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION general marketing materials

Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

schaumann1@earthlink.net

Bad/Credit? NO PROBLEM! Starting at $29.99/week. Up to $3000 credit limit Guaranteed Approval! Call Now! 888/860-2426 (AAN CAN)

LAPTOP, Computer, LCD Panel $249, $99, $55- Like New! CRC Computer Repair Center,

* FREE TO T RY !

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SANTA ROSA

707-206-6494

18 + *CARRIER CHARGES MAY APPLY

For Sale

AT HOME? Collect Call Billing! 1-866-607-5282 1-900 PRICING OPTIONS! 1-900-622-1100 ON THE GO? DIAL #CLICK (#25425) 79¢/min. Boost, AT&T. 99¢/min. Verizon

THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

49

HEALTH&WELL-BEING g A Provider of Pleasure

Healing & Bodywork

In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a “mature�, compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.

MAGIC HANDS

Swedish and Deep Tissue Massage with light stretching for men/women Flexible M-F schedule; Incalls only 60min/$60 | 90min/$75 Please call Leo 707-623-6096

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Female Touch

Healing & Bodywork

Full body, sensual massage, incall, private, quiet. Julie. 707-695-3646.

Massage/Bodywork Strong, thorough, intuitive. 30 yrs. experience 25/50/75 - Colin, CMT: (707) 823-2990

Guerneville M4M Massage

Windsor: 4 Men Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Great Massage By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub and pool available. Will do outcalls. 707-228-6883.

Man of Your Dreams Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

Massage $55 hr • Deep Tissue/Swedish • Sports • Shiatzu • Back Walking • Foot Reflexology • Chair $10/10 min massage • Couples Room

Massage • Reflexology Swedish/Shiatsu Open 7 Days: 10am-10pm

1626 4th St. Santa Rosa 707.526.6888

Norma’s Massage

Happy Health Spa

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525 Ross St, Santa Rosa

707-591-8899

Massage & Relaxation

MASSAGE FOR GUYS Your entire body is squeezed and kneaded while you melt on the table. Delightfully deep work with whole body stretching. Santa Rosa. 707-824-8700 or Google search “James Dickson Calendar� for pics & my availability. See you soon!

abla Se haĂąol! Esp 10 years exp CMT

**Custom Massage** Convenient incall off 101. Certified therapist specializing in sensual massage. Liza *707-566-7866*

A Safe Place To Be Real Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. NEW CLIENT DISCOUNT. 707-793-2232.

Great Relaxing Massage Swedish, Deep Tissue or Acupressure. Affordable. Free parking Downtown Santa Rosa. CMT Mary 707-228-3275

Do You Suffer Pain From: Neck • Arms • Back Legs • Waist • Headaches Pulled Muscle • Tension Lack of Energy or Sleep

707.696.0685

128 College Ave, Santa Rosa by appt only

Petaluma Lavender Day Spa

Opening Specials • FREE Table Shower • Excellent Massage • Relaxing Body Treatments • Large Steam Sauna • Easy & Safe Parking

Walk ins Welcome Open 7 Days 9-10pm

707.782.9898

131 Liberty St, Ste. D at Washington behind Wachovia Bank

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS Finding inspiration and connecting with your community Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30–8:45pm Prayers for World Peace, Sun, 10:30–11:45am Everyone welcome. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North, Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness Reading room, art gallery, prayer/ meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121

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Share your organization’s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly!

Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

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Mitch, CMT. Mature. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private discrete studio. 707-849-7409

RELAX! Relaxing massage and bodywork by male massage therapist with 11 yrs experience. 707-542-6856

FLOWER SPA

PUSH Therapy In pain and tired of relying on others to fix you? Learn self treatment with PUSH Therapy! Great for everything from neck pain to plantar fasciitis. Call (707) 665-9020

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Psychic Palm and Card Reader Madame Lisa. Truly gifted adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. One visit convinces you. Appt. 707-542-9898

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50

04.21.10-04.27.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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THE BOHEMIAN

04.21.10-04.27.10

51

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AbOgW\U /RRWQbSR 7a 3dS\ 6O`RS` :Sb Ca 6SZ^ G]c 6SZ^ G]c`aSZT SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal! Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job! Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help.(707) 576-0818.

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B, Santa Rosa

Golden Star Grafix

Santa Rosa CopWatch

Green Earth Catering

Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration & collages general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

First and third Tues at 7, discussion of police accountability and observation plus know-your-rights training. Free Mind Media, 546 Pacific Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.579.1605

Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager. 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

Relapse Doesn’t Mean Failure

707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

Photography by Paul Burke

Grow Clinic Weekly medicinal gardening clinicwith master cultivators explores changing and seasonal topics every Wed at 6.Free. Peace in Medicine, 6771 Sebastopol Ave, Hwy 12, Sebastopol, 707.823.4206.

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

Relapse Doesn’t Mean Failure Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

Love Chilli & Pasta and Love to Cook?

Love farm animals? Become a VIP

Join 6th Annual Peggy Sue’s Chili & Pasta Cook-Off, Friday, June 11th. Registration is $18. Awards, Live Entertainment, A Place to Play Youth Park, Santa Rosa 5-8pm. Call Peggy 707-575-3267 or visit website at www.peggysuescruise.com. Supporting Safe School Ambassador.

and a fan on Facebook. www.compassionate-carnivores.org/vip.html

Medical Marijuana Certifications Full exam. Low cost. No charge if you do not qualify. Santa Rosa. 707-575-7375.

Work

SKIRT CHASER VINTAGE BUY & SELL 707-546-4021 208 Davis Street, RR Square

Donate Your Auto 800.380.5257

your habits, don’t let them work you!

We do all DMV. Free pick up- running or not (restrictions apply). Live operators- 7 days! Help the Polly Klaas Foundation provide safety information and assist families in bringing kids home safely.

Rocks and Clouds Zendo

• Heroin/Opiate (Vicodin, Oxycontin) detox and maintenance utilizing Methadone

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

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MacAdvantage Macintosh Computer Repair FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Answer Calls, Hardware/Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email, Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6. 707.664.0400, info@themacadvantage.com

• Methamphetamine and other stimulant treatment • Subutex/Suboxone available • Providing Treatment since 1984 • Confidentiality assured

Water Conservation Experts. Friendly, Honest Service. Licensed, Bonded and Insured. License #871026

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MY 2010 INTENTION‌TURN MY LIFE AROUND

DAAC can help with your alcohol or other drug addiction

HOPE HEALING HEALTH CALL TODAY 707.544.3295 or visit www.daacinfo.org

Shamanic Apprenticeship Wiccan Priestess, Cerridwen Fallingstar, author, The Heart of the Fire, offers her 18th year-long Apprenticeship program beginning Mid-May. Call/email for brochure/interview. 415-488-9641, c.fallingstar@gmail.com www.cerridwenfallingstar.com

Sign Up Now-Integrative Yoga Teacher Training

Santa Rosa Plumbing tankless water heaters, high efficiency toilets recirculation, general plumbing needs

Meditation and Dharma Talk - Weekly Wednesday Nights at 7:00pm. Email us with any questions: daterra@sonic.net or call (707) 824-5647.

Starting September 2010!! A 200 hour nonresidential training, 1 weekend/month for 10 months. You will learn how the elements of yoga: asanas, pranayama, body awareness, guided imagery meditation and deep relaxation come together as a vehicle for health and healing. BodyWorks-Integrative Yoga and Stress Management Studio. 490 2nd Str., Petaluma 707-769-9933. www.bodyworksyoga.com

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A F F O R DA B L E • CO N F I D E N T I A L • 4 0 Y E A R S O F CO M M U N I T Y N O N - P R O F I T S E RV I C E

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