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Register Early! www.santarosa.edu/portal/

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THE BOHEMIAN

Spring 2010 Schedule of Classes www.santarosa.edu/schedule

Get Ready for the Holidays One Special Package ~ 3 Treatments 1 Hr Massage, 1 hr Facial & a Brow Wax

Gift Certificates Available

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We recommend a tummy tuck. The old-fashioned way. Bikram Yoga is the most popular beginning yoga series for men and women of all fitness levels. This complete workout is done in a heated room and will help you achieve your fitness and wellness goals lose weight, improve flexibility, increase strength, enhance endurance, reduce stress, heal injuries, improve concentration and strengthen the immune system.

If you’re just starting out, or if you’ve been here before, we have a special for you!

One Intro Special per customer. Intro Special for new students valid any time. Not valid with any other offers.

One Returning Special per customer. Valid if you have not attended in 3 months. Not valid with any other offers.

www.SanRafaelYoga.com 415-454-YOGA (9642) ‡1295 Second St., Suite 210 ‡San Rafael, CA

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12.30.09-01.05.10

03


Representing Local, National and International Artists Fair Trade Gems - Conflict Free Diamonds Eco Gold - Unique Affordable Jewelry Creations

Bug Pin by Jane Garibaldi

s ha m e a e b n’t o D

d to go home for the Holi da y s!

WE CAN HELP Do you or someone you care about rely on prescription drugs or opioid pain medication or heroin to get through the day? Ask the following questions: • Have they ever given up activities to use them? • Are they spending more time on activities to get them? • Have they ever used them despite negative consequences?

If the answer to any of these questions was YES, they may have unintentionally become opioid dependent. Help might be closer than you think.

04

12.30.09-01.05.10

THE BOHEMIAN

For more information on opoid dependence and its treatment, please call

707-576-0818 or visit www.srtp.net

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 Cleveland Ave Suite B, Santa Rosa


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THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

05


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1>>C>10=:BC4AB The determination and courage to take action as Michael Carnacchi has done is exactly what we need from American citizens today (â&#x20AC;&#x153;David and Two Goliaths,â&#x20AC;? Dec. 16). The â&#x20AC;&#x153;bankstersâ&#x20AC;? have gotten away with robbing the American citizens for far too long. They have sucked the American government into their cesspool of greed and corruption, and now we get robbed from both ends. Michael is a true hero and patriot. We could use a lot more citizens like him to show them that we refuse to be robbed any further. Please, people get away from the tube and get active! Dancing with the Stars, American Idol and gossip about Hollywood are just a distraction. Know what your government officials are up to before they surprise you. Let them know how you feel about the direction of this country. We have the power to clean house and change the nameplates on the doors of the career politicians

in Washington who have been corrupted by the system. Know your candidates. These are the people that help shape the future for all of us. Go get â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em, Michael!

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Our executive editor was really pretty stoked that iconic artist Stanley â&#x20AC;&#x153;Alton Kelley and I Branded the Grateful Dead in an Indelible Way No Band Has Yet Surpassedâ&#x20AC;? Mouse was giving us the illustration for our Dec. 23 cover. Heck, I was really pretty stoked, though I know that Mr. Mouse is a fan of the Bohemian and is sweetly pleased to be modestly placed in our pages, as we strive to do several times a year. Shucks, we were all really pretty stoked about it. And then Christmas struck, that time-sucking vortex which whirls even the best-intentioned editors into an ever narrowing garret of butter-based meals and invisible tape. Spit out of the whirl on Boxing Day, I gave an idle look at the Dec. 23 issue. A cropped detail of Stanley Mouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beautiful image indeed graced the cover, but the nipple-proud ladies were gone. Also absent was any mention of Stanley â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Did the Same Thing for Journeyâ&#x20AC;? Mouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name. With only New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve to occupy us this week, we hasten to correct the breach. The entire image by Mr. Stanley Mouse reappears on our Calendar lead (p33) for your inspection and delight, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve hopefully used his name to some number here. In Further Arrrggghhhs One Susie Schlesinger is happy to report via voicemail that internationally renowned sculptor Mark di Suvero finds it a complete hoot that my â&#x20AC;&#x153;Appreciationâ&#x20AC;? of the recently deceased artist Peter Forakis lists Forakis as di Suveroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mentor, as though Mark was yet a fresh dewy thing eager to understand that steel sometimes bends when you heat it instead of a seventy-something peer and colleague. My apologies to the friends and loved ones of Peter Forakis. Could someone please read this to Mark?

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While we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have an email address for Michael Carnacchi, please know that he can be reached through his shop, the Apple Cobbler, 227 N. Main St., Sebastopol. 707.823.7204.

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06

12.30.09-01.05.10

THE BOHEMIAN




news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Official Newspaper of the Collective Fresh Startâ&#x20AC;?

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Buried landmines wreak the most damage on post-war civilians and animals; cow and goat corpses mark fields.

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Landmines continues to maim and harm long after war is over By Alastair Bland

C

he Balkan war that fragmented Yugoslavia and left more than 100,000 people dead in BosniaHerzegovina and Croatia ended nine years ago, yet its legacy persists. During a recent cycling tour through the Balkans, I frequently swerved around craters in the pavement where grenades had done their work. I saw bullet holes in abandoned cement structures. Vicious political slogans in heavy graffiti dated 1990 were still not painted over. And while these relics were merely novel as historical paraphernaliaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; hardly dangerousâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I learned in BosniaHerzegovina that the war is still very much alive, lurking dormant underfoot. One evening in October as I rolled past a scrubby

field of shrubs, looking for a place to camp, I saw eyeing me from the roadside ditch the image of a white skull, backed by red, and captioned with the chilling word â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mines.â&#x20AC;? When I returned home, I found a world of information. Throughout the Balkans, activists have identified the sites in which anti-personnel landmines were placed during the war, and thousands of warning signs now stand conspicuously throughout war-scarred regions. A portion of these fieldsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;20 percent in Croatia, for exampleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;have been carefully groomed by trained experts with specialized machinery and officially cleared. De-mining efforts, however, advance slowly and at great cost. Locally, Roots of Peace, a nonprofit based in San Rafael, has supported the Croatian mine-removal efforts. Founded in 1997, Roots of Peace has generated proceeds for

use in de-mining workâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;including training experts and dogs, acquiring metal detectors and other specialized gear, and utilizing explosives to detonate the devices from a safe distanceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; and through its â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mines to Vinesâ&#x20AC;? project is both helping to clear former vineyards of mines and restore these agricultural lands to their prewar conditions. The esteemed Napa Valley winemaker Mike Grgich, a Croatian native, has contributed $50,000 to Roots of Peaceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s effort. Perhaps a half-million mines remain buried in the Balkans, and their removal is extremely costly and dangerous. According to a Nov. 12 report by Landmine Monitor, a research program based in Canada, 954 square kilometers remain â&#x20AC;&#x153;contaminated,â&#x20AC;? and in 2008 just 12 square kilometers were cleared at a cost of more than $50 million, most of which was supplied by national sources. % -

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

07


%,

BAUMAN COLLEGE Holistic Nutrition and Culinary Arts

Invites you to attend:

A TASTE

OF

BAUMAN COLLEGE

An evening of nutrition & culinary tastings Please join us as we open our doors to prospective students and the community in celebration of educational excellence since 1989. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll enjoy an evening of nutrition education and healthy culinary delights. Raffle prizes will be awarded throughout the evening as we share an enlightening time with our graduate guest speakers and Executive Director, Dr. Ed Bauman.

FREE EVENTS: Friday, January 8, 2010 10151 Main Street, Ste. 128, Penngrove, CA 94951 Friday, January 15, 2010 901 Grayson Street, Ste. 201, Berkeley, CA 94710 Friday, January 29, 2010 3912 Portola Drive, Suite 10, Santa Cruz, CA 95062 Friday, February 5, 2010 1128 Pine Street, Boulder, CO 80302

Seating is limited, so reserve your spot today! Email: events@BaumanCollege.org or Call: (800) 987-7530

08

12.30.09-01.05.10

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In Bosnia-Herzegovina, the landmine problem is roughly twice as severe; 1,683 square kilometers remain contaminated, and in 2008 just three square kilometers were cleared at a cost of over $40 million. As in Croatia, BosniaHerzegovinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2009 clearance goal has been set back by 10 years, to March 2019. Albania has actually beaten its landmine clearance deadline of August 2010. In late October, 2009 Tony Connell and his team of six de-miners, working on their hands and knees, cleared the last of the small mountainous nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s known minefields, which had been seeded by Serb paramilitaries during the Kosovo War. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But the thing with landmines is itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost impossible to tell that 100 percent of mines in a region are ever gone,â&#x20AC;? says Connell, program manager with Dan Church Aid, an international NGO that trains de-miners and conducts operations around the world. Connell has participated in de-mining projects for 15 years, and in northern Iraq has encountered some minefields eight miles long riddled with millions of live explosives. To successfully clear a minefield, deminers must follow a strict protocol, Connell explains. They must first locate its approximate boundaries by speaking with locals, consulting ex-soldiers and viewing military maps that Connells says Serb forces, for the most part, have declined to share since the Kosovo War, between Albania and Serbia. Goat and cow corpses also frequently tip off minefield surveyors. The second step is the â&#x20AC;&#x153;technical survey,â&#x20AC;? in which de-miners use metal detectors to determine the pattern by which the mines were set. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They might be in a straight line or in a zigzag pattern,â&#x20AC;? Connell says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They might be two meters apart or 30 centimeters apart.â&#x20AC;? De-miners locate each device as they crawl slowly forward, and rig it with explosives. The work is tedious, each person clearing no more than 20 square meters per day, one centimeter at a time. De-miners stand 100 to 500 meters away as the mines are detonated, says Connell, who personally saw the destruction of more than 8,000 mines in Albania between 2002 and 2009. The PROM-1 mine is among the most feared types. When triggered, it springs a meter into the air before detonating, inflicting serious face and torso wounds. But in Albania, Connell and his team found mostly â&#x20AC;&#x153;toe-poppers,â&#x20AC;? small devices that detonate under roughly five pounds of pressure and are intended to take off no more than a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s foot. Many mines, in fact, are designed only to maim, not kill, under the premise that wounded soldiers impart greater hardship upon comrades, who must carry them to safety. Landmines are notoriously ineffective as weapons of war. Most landmine casualties occur post-conflict, and statistics from Landmine Monitor show that 70 to 85 percent of landmine casualties are civilians. A 1996 report from the International Committee of the Red Cross recognized that anti-personnel landmines â&#x20AC;&#x153;have little or no effect on the outcome of hostilities.â&#x20AC;? Perhaps the leading problem with landmines is their longevity; they may remain live and active for many decades. Even relatively primitive mines planted during World War I are still producing casualties in parts of Europe and North Africa; in 2009, Tony Connell and his team found live landmines in Albania remaining from World War II.

First used as long ago as the American Civil War, landmines are now devastatingly cheap to build. According to the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, a global network of 70 nations, production costs can run as low $3 per mine, while clearing them runs an average of $1,000 per device. Costs mount through the training of mine-sniffing dogs, hiring personnel, acquiring metal detectors and utilizing explosives to destroy them in post-conflict operations that persist for years. The global effort to create a world free of landmines is accelerating. The Mine Ban Treaty marked a dramatic step forward. At a summit in Ottawa, Canada, on Dec. 3, 1997, 122 nations signed the agreement, and two years later its mandates began to take effect. Today, 156 nations worldwide, including every nation in Europe barring Russia, have agreed to destroy their own stockpiled mine arsenals within four years of signing and clear their own lands or territories of landmines within 10 years. But in Bosnia-Herzegovina, according to a June 2009 report from the BosniaHerzegovina Mine Action Center, 220,000 landmines remain unearthed. Casualties since 1992 number in the thousands, though exact counts vary. These accidents have left a sizeable demographic of handicapped survivors, says Ramiz Becirovic, who works with Landmine Survivors Network in Bosnia-Herzegovina, a nonprofit that aids survivors in reentering society as productive members. Becirovic says that more than 7,000 people in Bosnia-Herzegovina have stepped on a landmine and survived; in 2008, there were 39 injuriesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;19 of them resulting in deathsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;up from 30 total the year prior. In 2008, Croatia had nine casualtiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;three people killedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;up from eight in 2007. While most governments in the world are committed to eliminating the weapons from the earth, the United States remains among the 37 nations which have declined to sign the Ottawa Treaty. Though President Clinton announced his firm intention in 1997 that the United States would become a signatory, it never happened. George W. Bush reneged on the commitment and determined in 2004 not to sign the treaty. Accordingly, the task of landmine clearance falls that much more on NGOs and such nonprofits as Roots of Peace, which through a partnership with the University of Zadar has helped plant 25,000 grapevines and 12,500 apple trees on Croatian lands previously planted with mines. Roots of Peace founder Heidi Kuhn recalls visiting Croatia in 2000 and seeing children leashed to trees and allowed to play in a tight radius of 10 feet. At the time, some 1.2 million mines remained in the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soil. In some places, caution has been cast aside by necessity as many Balkans resume their prewar habits. Firewood cutters, driven by economic desperation, walk into mineriddled forests and constitute a sizeable portion of the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s casualties. In western Croatia, I met a man who told me, his wife and daughter at his side, that each fall he walks into documented minefields to hunt birds where his father and grandfather had before him. He shrugged and said uncertainly, â&#x20AC;&#x153;No problem. There is no problem.â&#x20AC;? Yet the problem is undeniably severe. According to one estimate, 70 nations are currently home to 70 million buried landmines, weapons that do most of their damage in times of peace.


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SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s financial misadventures with the Green Music Center continue By Steve Orlick

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he Sonoma State University Foundationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s loans to â&#x20AC;&#x153;friendsâ&#x20AC;? were, at best, a case of poor judgment. As repugnant as this particular practice was, it is only a minor transgression in comparison with the mostly secretive behavior of SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highest administrators while attempting to feed the hungry elephant that has been in SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s living room for over 10 years: the Donald and Maureen Green Music Center (GMC). The Greens came to the campus in the late 1990s with an offer of $10 million to build a firstclass choral building. Instead, SSU president ArmiĂąana convinced them to put the same sum toward an even more grand â&#x20AC;&#x153;music centerâ&#x20AC;? named after them. The cost was estimated at $30 million, with the remaining $20 million to come from fundraising efforts by a partnership of the campus and Santa Rosa Symphony. ArmiĂąana promised the campusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; skeptical faculty and Academic Senate that no campus or state resources would be necessary. I recall that the faculty and senate raised serious concerns about the campusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ability to afford such a large project with so apparently slight value to our underfunded small campus with its very small music program. Flash forward to today, where a recent official estimate of the projectâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cost was up to $110 million, the shortfall figured to be $17 million. But because of a continued lack of budget transparency, it is impossible to know what these figures really are, or will be, due in part to the use of campus (state) employees for some of the construction work, and despite efforts to camouflage the costs of personnel employed by the university, such as more than 10 years of salaries in the universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fundraising (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Developmentâ&#x20AC;?) office. A reasonable estimate of this alone is $7 million to $8 million, all going exclusively to unsuccessful fundraising for the GMC. A more realistic, all-inclusive estimate of the GMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ultimate cost will be $130 million or more. The facility will accommodate very few new students and will be of little use as a teaching facility. Roughly 80 to 85 percent of the ultimate cost will, in fact, be borne by taxpayers, as well as by SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s students, faculty and staff. Again, due to the nontransparent

financial accounting methods used by SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top administrators, there is no way of estimating the actual amount of money that so far has been diverted to the GMC from SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s struggling academic programs. It is likely that the total number of class sections not offered in the past 10 years due to the GMC has been in the thousands. Furthermore, the Santa Rosa Press Democrat reported last year that the GMC will have an annual gap of some $1.15 million between revenue and operating expenses. The PD article states that the deficit â&#x20AC;&#x153;is proposed to be offset by $500,000 [annually] in funds from SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s academic and instructional budget and $650,000 from endowments and an annual fundraising drive.â&#x20AC;? Thus, money is to be taken from SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beleaguered teaching budget to offset losses incurred by the GMC. Taxpayers, students and their parents should be very concerned. The elephant in SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s living room is a persisting administration folly. Why did the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s taxpayers and campus community end up shouldering so much of the financial burden of the GMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s construction and eventual operation? Why have SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top administrators not been held accountable for how they have spent taxpayersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dollars? Why does the campus president, in view of the unprecedented financial problems of the state, CSU and campus, continue to put his personal ego and â&#x20AC;&#x153;visionâ&#x20AC;? ahead of his duty, that being to assure that the students at SSU receive the best education possible within available resources? There are a lot more financial misadventures at SSU yet to be exposed, not the least of which involve the past and present lack of transparency involving all the financial dealings associated with the Donald and Maureen Green Music Center.

Money is to be taken from SSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beleaguered teaching budget to offset losses incurred by the Green Music Center.

Steven C. Orlick, Ph.D., is a professor in the department of environmental studies and planning at Sonoma State University and the former chair of the SSU Faculty and Academic Senate. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

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5XeTATb^[dcX^]b Mick Winterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy tips for a sustainable New Year

By Juliane Poirier

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ick Winter of Napa is a look-ahead person who translates a world of complexity into simple, practical tasks. He has made everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New Year resolution-making easier this year by consolidating a bunch of earth-saving, optimism-building ideas that will also leave us spending less money in 2010. The following suggestions come from his 2007 book, Sustainable Living: For Home, Neighborhood and Community. The expanded version of this little gem has a f lashier title: Peak Oil Prep: Three Things You Can Do to Prepare for Peak Oil, Climate Change and Economic Collapse. Since Sustainable Livingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publication date predated the current economic collapse, perhaps Winter peers into the big picture with greater perception than some. His list is perfect for beginners who want to start the New Year right and enjoy life more. 1. Replace â&#x20AC;&#x153;Incandescent bulbs,â&#x20AC;? Winter explains, â&#x20AC;&#x153;are basically little heaters that also produce light. Only 10 percent of the energy they use produces light; the other 90 percent produces heat. This is a very serious waste of energy.â&#x20AC;? Since PG&E uses coal-fire and other dirty power in California, we can reduce by up to 75 percent per bulb how much of that stuff comes on line by using compact f luorescents instead. While you help the planet, you save $32 over the life of the bulb. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Replace 10 bulbs in your home, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a savings of more than $300,â&#x20AC;? Winter explains. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A bulb can pay for itself with normal use in just five months.â&#x20AC;? 2. Move â&#x20AC;&#x153;The physical exercise from moving your body [walking or riding a bike] will increase your blood f low, strengthen all the muscles in your body, loosen your joints, improve your breathing, help you lose weight over time and increase your appetite yet help you be satisfied with lower food intake,â&#x20AC;? says

Winter. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not to like about that? When driving is a must, he has this advice: Combine trips by waiting to do all errands at once; telecommute at least once a week; carpool or use public transportation more often; and share errands with neighbors. 3. Plant â&#x20AC;&#x153;No matter how small your living space,â&#x20AC;? Winter writes, â&#x20AC;&#x153;you can still grow some of your own food, even if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just sprouts, herbs or a couple of tomato plants.â&#x20AC;? His alternative advice is to join one of the more than 18,000 community gardens now thriving in the United States and Canada. Growing food is part of the local and Slow Food movement that includes buying from community supported agriculture. 4. Share Sharing increases wealth. Much of the solution to planetary crisis involves organizing and sharing to significantly lower our ecological footprint while creating the community that we lost when we became consumers rather than interdependent people. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good to have a home thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self-sufficient,â&#x20AC;? Winter writes, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but even better to have an entire neighborhood that can cover its own basic needs. Your neighbors are likely to have knowledge, skills and tools that you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have. Through mutual sharing, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all strengthened.â&#x20AC;? 5. Localize Spend your money at local business and on local producers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Locally owned businesses help the economy,â&#x20AC;? Winter reminds us. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Chain stores donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.â&#x20AC;? Winter cites a study showing that out of every $100 spent at a chain store, only $43 remains in the community, whereas of every $100 spent at a local store, $68 remains in the community. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The people who own and work at local businesses are your friends, neighbors and fellow members of your community,â&#x20AC;? he reminds us. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They have the same stake in the communityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health as you do.â&#x20AC;? From Mick Winter and me: Happy New Year.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Incandescent bulbs are basically little heaters that also produce light. Only 10 percent of the energy they use produces light; the other 90 percent produces heat. This is a very serious waste of energy.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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2d_RPZTbP]S1PR^] Food trends in 2009 tended toward sugar and salt, frosting and pork By Tori Masucci

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his past year, America began once again finding comfort in comfort foods, reverting back to simple, homemade dishes that are inexpensive without sacrificing quality ingredients. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This year has marked a significant reentry into the macaroni and cheese economy,â&#x20AC;? pronounces Clark Wolf, president of the Clark Wolf Company restaurant consulting firm. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The difference now is that we want really good aged cheddar and fresh noodles. Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too hard to eat something out of a blue box.â&#x20AC;? Yet 2009 was also an indulgent and experimental year for cuisine. In the wake of a recession, when the economy squelched American dreams in every other way, the best we could do was to eat. And, moreover, eat whatever we pleased. This meant salads on pizza, Peruvian pisco sours, plenty of ginger and nougat, pink Champagne cupcakes and bacon on top of everything. Shedding some light on this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food trends, Wolf remarks, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I see it more as being from cupcakes

to bacon. Cupcakes are more of a fad than a trend, whereas bacon is a food group.â&#x20AC;? Soon after Sex and the Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Carrie took that first bite at Magnolia Bakery in New York City back in 2000, the cupcake world swelled from mini to monumental as the next fashion-forward food. Cupcakeries have popped up around the country by the masses. Sugarcoated and cultlike yet oh-so-adorable with baby pink logos, these shops continue to win over customers with enticing flavors coined with cutesy names like Southern Belle Red Velvet. An expert on the â&#x20AC;&#x153;cupcake craze,â&#x20AC;? Andrea Ballus, owner of Sift Cupcakery in Cotati and Napaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with a new store due to open next month in Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;believes that cupcakes hold a deeper significance for customers than mere chic. They are simply, Ballus says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;the happiest food on Earth.â&#x20AC;? Cheaper than a latte, these small treats are a convenient way to reward oneself without buying a whole cake. Unpeeling that thin, fanned wrapper yields a selfish delight that takes us back to childhood, when worries did not involve mortgages. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is definitely a nostalgic part to

cupcakes, like eating Hostess or the cupcakes that your mom dropped off for your first-grade birthday, that people want to remember,â&#x20AC;? Ballus says. But 2009 was truly baconâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s big year. Foodies nationwide rediscovered its savory qualities, harking back to the primal nature of eating. The meatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s strong essence of smoke, alcohol, sugar, salt and fatty acid is tempting. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The thing is,â&#x20AC;? Wolf says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;foods like cupcakes really arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t necessary, and most of them are a better idea than they are a food. Most of the satisfaction of a cupcake comes from when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going toward your mouth. But bacon is a food that a wonderful animal died for. Bacon rocks. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s salt of the earth; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sustaining.â&#x20AC;? Bacon is also genuinely American, representing our affinity for pigs, grease and rebellion. The crackling, brown-sugar-cured fat has been known to lure vegetarians away from their ways. Its recent popularity is an insurgency against the wave of smoked salmon on mixed greens and careful calorie counting, but it is also a call to nostalgia. This past year, bartenders began to whip up old cocktail recipes from the pre-Prohibition era, with root beer and &) THE BOHEMIAN

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sarsaparilla flavors as inspiration. Soon, bacon grease became involved, and before we knew it, hipsters were sucking greedily at bacon cocktails. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In the early part of 2008, people had too much money and they were making up clever diversions to sell more stuff,â&#x20AC;? Wolf says. This transferred over to 2009, when chefs continued experimenting with salty-sweet mixes and any confection that could pull off a shock factor. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve actually gotten requests to make a bacon cupcake with some sort of caramel or maple bacon flavor combination,â&#x20AC;? Ballus laughs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Guy Fieri told us we needed one. He said, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like sweets, but if you make a bacon cupcake, I would eat it.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? The dessert trend for bacon works because salty and sweet go together, a concept that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stray too far from Sunday-morning breakfasts, where bacon strips are surreptitiously dipped in a pool of maple syrup next to the pancakes, stacking forks with both sticky flapjacks and smoky pork. Voodoo Doughnut in Portland, Ore., made this combination famous when it created its bacon maple bar, covered in generous strips of meat. Soon, Dynamo Donut & Coffee in San Francisco followed suit with its maple glazed bacon apple, attributing the flavor to apples sautĂŠed in pig fat. Wolf is having none of it, saying that using bacon in these ways is like â&#x20AC;&#x153;gilding the lily and then trying to eat it. And,â&#x20AC;? he laughs, â&#x20AC;&#x153;a gilded lily is too crunchy. Bacon should be eaten as bacon, over or under farm eggs, in a BLT, in chunks in a macaroni and cheese, on the side of your plate next to your Sonoma goat cheese omelette.â&#x20AC;? In a down economy, this notion of â&#x20AC;&#x153;slow food fastâ&#x20AC;? has been a model theme for 2009â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food trends, especially in the North Bay. Bovolo restaurant in Healdsburg pioneered this concept of translating slower cooked cuisine into faster eating, standing by the idea that good food takes time to prepare. For instance, good bacon still needs to be drycured gradually and properly, but it becomes more accessible if customers can grab a package of it and move on with their busy lives. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In a weak economy, we bring back food traditions we got to try when we had money, or we dig back into our favorite things. For the North Bay, that means Italian, bacon, farm-fresh eggs and vegetables and all these things we have always loved and been good at,â&#x20AC;? Wolf says. And the food forecast for 2010? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to see much more in the way of sandwiches, because they are the perfect â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;slow food fast,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? he predicts. One such sandwich that was recently made popular in the States is the bacon butty (pronounced â&#x20AC;&#x153;buddyâ&#x20AC;?). Simply slices of crispy bacon on buttered bread, it has been an everyday favorite in Britain for as long as the two components existed. If the economy doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t improve within the next year, trends may show more people buddying up to those friendly slices of pork. After all, Wolf says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;bacon can be a poor manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prosperity. If all you can afford is a cheap piece of bread and a stolen tomato with a cheap cut of bacon, how bad can it be?â&#x20AC;?


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F48A3144A lec Stefansky learned to make beer in his UC Santa Cruz dorm room, where he hid ďŹ ve-gallon batches from campus authorities and shared home-brewed pints among his roommates. It was a common enough way to begin.

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But today, the 31-year-old is a professional brewer quickly ascending the ranks of West Coast weird-beer stardom. Since founding Uncommon Brewers in 2007, he has lived up to the companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name. The Siamese Twin Ale brewed with KafďŹ r limes leaves and lemongrass has become a favorite of thousands, and far stranger brewings are now bubbling down the pipe. Most recently, Uncommon Brewers, operated by Stefansky and assistant Reed Vander Schaaf, released Rubidus Red Ale, a strong ale brewed with dried candy cap mushrooms. Stefansky, a recreational mushroom hunter, has amassed a ďŹ ve-year dried stash of the potent and expensive fungus, which smells strongly of maple syrup, and is steadily portioning the mushrooms into batches of the brew. A beer even queerer is about to go public. The Bacon Brown Ale, currently undergoing secondary fermentation, is as brown as it soundsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brewed with real bacon. On the calendar for release this spring is a barleywine aged with redwood branches. Stefansky says the woodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tannins bridge the gap between the bitter hops and the sweet malt. This he discovered quite by accident at an Oakland Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s game in 2004, when he opened a home-brewed version of the beer, which runs almost 15 percent ABV, and found a volunteer redwood bud ďŹ&#x201A;oating in the bottle. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It tasted great,â&#x20AC;? he recalls. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The beerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ&#x201A;avor had been missing something, and the redwood ďŹ lled the gap.â&#x20AC;? Stefansky counts among his inspirations DogďŹ sh Head Craft Ales in Delaware, renowned for its unusual beers and malt beverages, and he feels itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time that more American brewers deviated from traditional European styles and developed their own. For now, Stefanskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beers are all brewed to standard style guidelines, but the strange complements added to each beer toe the lines of conformity. While taste, aroma and mouthfeel may gain a brewer praise, success is best measured in numbers, so taste these: Uncommon Brewers made 194 barrels of beer in 2008 and 450 in 2009, but this year, Stefansky says he will generate 6,000 barrels of beer. Put another way, by April Uncommon Brewers will be making in one day what it previously took three months to produce. Is Stefansky brewing more than he can chew? He says no. â&#x20AC;&#x153;People want the beer, but I just canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make enough.â&#x20AC;? Find Uncommon Brewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; beer at Whole Foods, Mondo Beer Garden, and better beer shops throughout the North Bay.

Alastair Bland

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19


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@D6?9 Âś;Âś @=6A paid advertising section

H40A8=A4E84F eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done it again: drunk up every day of a perfectly good year and tossed the empties into the maw of the great recycling bin that shows up, curbsideâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;if we pay our bills. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s look back at a few of the past yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s standout sips and miscellany from Swirl â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Spitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s travels.

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January At the Zinfandel Advocates & Producers event, Gamba Vineyardsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; 2007 Estate Russian River Valley Old Vine Zinfandel ($43) is alleged to have an aroma â&#x20AC;&#x153;like a raspberry beret campďŹ re.â&#x20AC;? Meanwhile, Sonoma Valley edges closer to the RhĂ´ne when Westwood Winery pours Tyrian-dark meaty fruit rubbed with black pepper and thymeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;2005 Red Four, Annadel Estate ($23.50).

The Bazzaar Quality handmade art & goods made exclusively in Sonoma County!

February â&#x20AC;&#x153;That dude from Toolâ&#x20AC;? Maynard James Keenan proves to Petaluma shoppers that he also rocks lip-smacking red wine made for long, candlelit conversations on cool, rainy nights; Grazianoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blue-tinted Vodka Lounge is a fun, bone-chilling fantasy of ice, fur and pure grain alcohol.

522 Missioon Plazaa Stee. 123, Sannta Rosaa 707.537.9454 | bazzaar.rpweb.com

March Visitors to Frank Family Vineyards new tasting room get a glass of vintage bubbly as they walk in and pay no fee, ever.

Contemporary/Museum Framing

April Kenwoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Enkidu is named for ancient Sumeriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ultimate fall guy and friend of the animals; 2006 Humbaba ($25) is a rich Petite Sirah-Syrah that runs with the animal crackers.

Conceptual Art Gallery

707.473.9600 707.474.9600

May Castello di Amorosa is a hugely ambitious, manicmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s monstrosity of hand-cut stoneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and totally worth a visit. In Bodega Bay, only Mahoney Vineyards Carneros Vermentino ($21) can compete with the salty sea breeze.

www.hammerfriar.com

June Bennett Lane Winery sponsors NASCAR at InďŹ neon Raceway, in a bid to transform â&#x20AC;&#x153;beer drinkers into wine drinkers one race at a time.â&#x20AC;?

Contemporary Japanese Prints 707.875.2922

July Surprise! Possibly the ďŹ nest local sparkling wine hails from sunny Glen Ellen. Robert Hunter, in no particular hurry, releases his 2000 Sonoma Valley Brut de Noirs ($45). August One slow, dog day in downtown Napa, Trahan Wineryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sadie the dog gets a custom-built dog throne out of old barrel staves. Visitors are excited; they like the wines, too. September As harvest kicks in, Luteaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pinot Noir is nearly as irrepressibly fragrant and quaffable their 2008 Horse & Plow Grenache ($25). Meanwhile in West Marin, Pey-Marinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2007 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Punchdownâ&#x20AC;? Sonoma Coast Syrah ($25) is a luscious paper tiger that helps to soften our stance against the phrase, â&#x20AC;&#x153;food friendly.â&#x20AC;? October Woodenhead knock-knocks us out again with the mouth-watering half-baked raspberry, olallieberry and toasted cocoa-bean pie that is 2006 Martinelli Road Vineyard Zinfandel ($45). Newcomer Truett-Hurst swears that inky 2006 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Burning Manâ&#x20AC;? Petite Sirah ($33) has nothing to do with certain events in the desert, honest. November 24 Degrees ($18), a crystal-clear, Chardonnaybased, 48-proof spirit for mixing fancy cocktails, is vended from a ramshackle shed in rural Graton. December A Bohemian panel favors Korbelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t-gowrong Brut California Champagne ($11.99) over local rivals. Corks are popped, barrels are topped, vines are lopped, and the whole darn thing gets ready to start over again.

James Knight

1781 Hwy 1, Bodega Bay www.renbrown.com RIVERFRONT ART GALLERY

Sebastopol Gallery 150 N. Main St. Sebastopol, CA

132 PETALUMA BLVD. NORTH, DOWNTOWN PETALUMA

707.829.7200 â&#x20AC;˘ Daily 11-6

WWW.RIVERFRONTARTGALLERY.COM

sebastopol-gallery.com

707-778-4ART(4278)

Greatful Dead Memorabilia 110 North Main St., Sebastopol, CA Around the World pustuff@gmail.com O Locally Made: treehouse 28 clothing 707.829.ROCK (7625) O Artwork, Collectibles & More O Fine Gems & Minerals from

Call Today to Advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com

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12.30.09-01.05.10

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32.AB?2

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H40A8=A4E84F

David Sporrongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2009 Roller Coaster

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THE BOHEMIAN

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.?A@  612.@ ;867C=8=6A>3 BeyoncĂŠ portrays Etta James in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cadillac Records,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; during more amicable times between the two.

?^_@dXi How well do you know the Year In Music 2009? By Gabe Meline 1. Shortly after BeyoncĂŠ sang â&#x20AC;&#x153;At Lastâ&#x20AC;? for the Obamas on inauguration night, Etta James angrily complained during a Seattle concert that BeyoncĂŠ â&#x20AC;&#x153;had no business singing my song that I been singing foreverâ&#x20AC;? and that the pop star was â&#x20AC;&#x153;gonna get her ass whupped.â&#x20AC;? What did James go on to say about President Obama? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;He gonna make up for it by dancing with me.â&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s see his damn birth certificate.â&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;He ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t my president.â&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s taking over the banks and the car industry. He wants the country to fail.â&#x20AC;?

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4. Before Joe Satrianiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s claim that Coldplay had stolen his music for their hit song â&#x20AC;&#x153;Viva la Vida,â&#x20AC;? a smaller Brooklyn band named Creaky Boards dismissed their own plagiarism claim against Coldplay, suggesting that both Coldplay and Creaky Boards had perhaps subconsciously lifted the music from: a) The Legend of Zelda b) Richard Wagner c) WKRP in Cincinnati d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Foreigner Suiteâ&#x20AC;? by Cat Stevens

2. Which of the following singers did not collapse onstage in 2009? a) Morrissey b) Amy Winehouse c) Leonard Cohen d) Drake

5. What explanation did Snoop Dogg give for deciding to voice a GPS navigation system? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I be gettinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sick of tellinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; my chauffer when to turn. Yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;know? Jusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; do it once.â&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I be rollinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; on thâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; streets, never know where Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m goinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.â&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I be ridinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in cars, and I be hearinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that boring-ass lady that be doinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; it all the time.â&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I be gettinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; paid for the stupidest shit these days.â&#x20AC;?

3. In the hour after Michael Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death was announced, which one of the following misspellings of the pop starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name occurred frequently enough to become a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Trending Topicâ&#x20AC;? on Twitter? a) Mikhael Jackson b) Mickael Jackson c) Micheal Jackson d) Michael Jacksen

6. Despite the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s history of taking on giant corporate interests like Ticketmaster and AT&T, which big-box store did Pearl Jam sign an exclusive deal with to carry their album Backspacer? a) Best Buy b) Target c) Wal-Mart d) Costco

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7. What 2009 album notched the highest firstweek sales of the year, with over 700,000 copies sold? a) The Fame Monster by Lady Gaga b) I Dreamed a Dream by Susan Boyle c) Hannah Montana: The Movie by Miley Cyrus d) This Is It by Michael Jackson 8. When U2 played a free November concert in Berlin to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, what did concert organizers erect to keep nonâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;ticket holders out? a) a Greenpeace banner with Bonoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face on it b) an abstract styrofoam sculpture c) a mural of German president Horst KĂśhler d) a wall 9. After Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards, he took to his blog, twice, to issue an apology. Which following statement was not part of his apology? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;That was Taylorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry.â&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;BEYONCEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!!!â&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!!â&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;LIKE I SAID ON MY LAST RECORD, I CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T KEEP MY COOL, SO I KEEP IT TRUE!!!!!â&#x20AC;?


10. After the Kanye-Taylor incident, fans worldwide pledged to buy Taylor Swiftâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s album in support. How many spaces did it jump up the Billboard chart the following week? a) none b) 5 c) 13 d) 26 11. When the band MGMT accused French president Nicolas Sarkozyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s conservative party of using their song â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kidsâ&#x20AC;? in online videos without permission, what did the party offer the band in damages for copyright infringement? a) a guest verse from Sarkozyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife, Carla Bruni, a French pop star of renown b) the key to the Louvre c) an invitation to perform in the courtyard at the Palace of Versailles, where Pink Floyd played in 1988 d) one euro 12. What did Lady Gaga wear when she performed for the queen of England? a) a red latex, Elizabethan-style gown and sequined eye patches b) a spaghetti-strap dress made from real, uncooked spaghetti c) a replica of the dress Liza Minnelli wore in Cabaret d) an abstract outfit of aluminum foil, Heinz 57 ketchup and frayed twine 13. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Right Roundâ&#x20AC;? by Flo Rida topped the U.S. singles charts for six straight weeks. Which 1980s group does it heavily sample? a) Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam b) Dead or Alive c) Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Trimm d) Information Society 14. In a letter to Congress in March, Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins wrote to support the proposed Ticketmaster / Live Nation corporate merger, stating that â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is a new model that puts power into the hands of . . . â&#x20AC;? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;the artist.â&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;the people.â&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;the fans.â&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;my manager, Irving Azoff, the CEO of Ticketmaster.â&#x20AC;? 15. At the Grammy awards, M.I.A.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s live performance of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Swagga Like Usâ&#x20AC;? with Lilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Wayne, T.I., Jay-Z and Kanye West was noteworthy because: a) she has publicly announced that all four men are assholes b) she performed while nine months pregnant c) she threatened to bow out in solidarity with Bollywood composer A. R. Rahman d) the Grammy committee offered her $100,000 to use Mary J. Blige instead 16. In January, Maryland landowner William Zantzinger, demonized in an early Bob Dylan song, died. Which song was it? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Motorpsycho Nitemareâ&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Spanish Harlem Incidentâ&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carrollâ&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oxford Townâ&#x20AC;? 17. The surviving members of the Grateful Dead this year finally agreed to license their first-ever sanctioned sample. Phil Lesh â&#x20AC;&#x153;loved the trackâ&#x20AC;? it was used for.

Which artist acquired the rights? a) Vincent Gallo b) Outkast c) Animal Collective d) Soulja Boy

Cftu!Tfmfdujpo!pg!Pshbojd!'! Fbsui!Gsjfoemz!Qspevdut!gps!Cbcz

18. The country of Malaysia made headlines this year with its restrictions on touring artists like Rihanna, Fergie and BeyoncĂŠ who choose to: a) support the United States b) praise Jesus Christ c) show their legs d) eat red meat 19. True or false? In September, The Beatlesâ&#x201E;˘: Rock Bandâ&#x201E;˘ video game outsold the longawaited remastered CD reissues of all the Beatlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; original albums combined. a) true b) false 20. What did Paul McCartney call â&#x20AC;&#x153;a prime contender for mistake of the decadeâ&#x20AC;?? a) the continued unavailability of the Beatlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; music on iTunes b) Michael Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision to leverage his publishing share in the Beatlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; catalogue against a $300 million advance from Sony for his unsuccessful album Invincible c) Ringo Starrâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s YouTube video demanding no more autograph requests from fans d) his marriage to Heather Mills

Clothing Â&#x2039; Carriers Â&#x2039; Swaddlers Â&#x2039; Bottles Â&#x2039; Diapers Bedding Â&#x2039; Skin Care Â&#x2039; Mattresses Â&#x2039; Furniture Â&#x2039; Toys

!3ANTA2OSA!VEs3ANTA2OSAs/PEN-ON 3AT  3UN ssMYBABYNEWSCOM

21. At the beginning of the year, Apple announced that iTunes would offer song downloads without DRM encoding, which limits the number of times a song can be copied. Apple conjunctively offered to remove existing DRM encoding on songs already downloaded, for a fee. An existing music library containing 3,256 DRMencoded songs, for example, would cost how much to remove the scramble? a) $976.80 b) $325.60 c) $65.12 d) $3.26 22. In December, a major U.S. newspaper issued the correction that a Nov. 26 article â&#x20AC;&#x153;incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9-11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.â&#x20AC;? Which paper was it? a) The New York Times b) Chicago Tribune c) The Washington Post d) The Onion 23. In August, Bob Dylan was picked up by New Jersey police after a call reporting an â&#x20AC;&#x153;eccentic-looking old manâ&#x20AC;? wandering in peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s front yards. What did the officer, who didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe he was actually Bob Dylan, say afterwards? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen pictures of Bob Dylan from a long time ago, and he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look like Bob Dylan to me at all. So I put him in the back of the car.â&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sure if he came from one of our hospitals or something.â&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;He was acting very suspicious. Not delusional, just suspicious. You know, it was pouring rain and everything.â&#x20AC;? d) all of the above

Answers appear on p37 of the Music calendar. THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

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@A.42

43B<8C7

;HA820;CADC75D;34E0BC0C8=6 Patrick McNulty and Peter Stadlen in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;My Name Is Asher Lev.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

C^_ C^a]CXg The North Bay stageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best of 2009

By David Templeton

B

ince January of 2009, the question â&#x20AC;&#x153;How many shows do you see a year?â&#x20AC;? has been put to me almost as many times as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen shows. I have seen exactly 66 plays, musicals, operas or staged readings in 2009. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a heapinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; helpinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; of theater. As part of my regular theater-going ritual, I collect all of my ticket stubs throughout the year, saving them up for mid-December, when I carefully dump them from the old cigar box in which they are kept, and begin the arduous (but enlightening) task of choosing my top 10 favorite shows of the previous 12 months. If the New Year is anywhere close to 2009 in overall quality and creativity, then 2010 will be well worth looking forward to. Here are this reviewerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personal favorite showsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;my Top 10 Torn Tickets of 2009. 1. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;My Name Is Asher Levâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Chaim Potokâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrated novel came to life with stunning elegance and beauty in the Marin Theatre Companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breathtaking play. With a brilliant script by Aaron Posner and sensitive direction by Hal Brooks, the story of a young Jewish artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s development, for good and bad, avoided clichĂŠs at the same time it examined stereotypical views of the inner worlds of Hassidic Jews, grieving parents and rebellious artists. The actingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;by the terrific trio of Danielle Levin, Patrick McNulty and, as Asher, Peter Stadlenâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;was outstanding, propelling the show on the raw force of their emotions, as the story moved from its ingeniously succinct opening to its stunner of a conclusionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;lyrical, truthful and devastating. 2. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Sceneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Therese Rebeckâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scathing comedy-drama about passive-aggressive New Yorkers on the fringes of the entertainment business opened the year at the Sixth Street

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THE BOHEMIAN



Playhouse, and nothing presented there all year matched the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s outrageously nasty brilliance. With a fearless castâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Keith Baker, Dodds Delzell, Rose Roberts and Michelle Maxonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a rotating carousel set and spot-on direction by Elizabeth Craven, The Scene was exhilaratingly clever and, with its unexpected â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tortoise and the Hareâ&#x20AC;? climax, completely and utterly satisfying. 3. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;La Bohèmeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Cinnabar Theaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spare, English-language production of Pucciniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s enduring operatic masterpiece nailed the comic-to-tragic trajectory of the story, giving us a cast of great actors who were also excellent singers. The ending, with a band of starving artists mourning the excruciating death of the lovely Mimi (Leslie Sandefur), was so beautifully executed by director Elly Lichenstein and so well supported by musical director Nina Shuman that it still lingers in the mind. Like all good operas, and the occasional rock song, this La Bohème hurt so good. 4. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Almost, Maineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; John Carianiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boldly uncynical comedy, presented in February at the Sonoma County Repertory Theater, was like a magical realism version of Love, American Style. In a tiny Northern town where metaphors about love come to literal life and people carry pieces of their broken hearts around in bags, four actors played several love-struck characters, literally falling in and out of love. Smartly directed by Sheri Lee Miller, this could have been cloying and queasy but was somehow the exact oppositeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;engaging, charming and delightfully life-affirming. 5. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Book of Matthewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; One of the delights of the 2009 season was the world premiere of Gene Abravayaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first play, The Book of Matthew. Presented by the since-dissolved Pacific Alliance Stage Company and directed by Hector Correa, the lovely and affecting semi-autobiographical

comedy marked Abravayaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first play to be given a full staging, and signaled the emergence of a confident new playwriting voice. The production benefited from winning performances by the entire cast, from a sensitively outraged Tim Kniffin in the title role to a charming and deep-reaching Correa in a juicy supporting part. The play, which has since been staged by other companies as well, was reminiscent of the mid-career Neil Simon, and the fact that Abravaya is a well-known local actor and director makes this pleasant discovery all the sweeter. 6. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Lydiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Octavio Solisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; mesmerizing soap opera about a brain-damaged girl observing the strengths and weaknesses of her Mexican-American family featured some of the strongest and boldest writing of the year, supported by a cast required to go to some very dark places. The ending, which still haunts me, pushed tamer definitions of love and family bonds into shocking and jawdroppingly beautiful new territory. 7. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;On an Average Dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Riff Raff â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Narrow Way Stage Companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bleak but captivating stagings of John Kolvenbachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On an Average Day and Laurence Fishburneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Riff Raff were not seen by very many people, which is a shame. Both urban grunge plays directed by Adam Palafox featured tight pacing and superintense performances. In the case of Day, Chris Ginesi and Nick Christianson gave their best performances ever as two dysfunctional brothers unraveling a family mystery amid literal and metaphorical garbage. Riff Raff featured six actors rotating through three roles. With Dan Saski a standout as a retired criminal thrown back together with a former friend, the play was uneven but absolutely unforgettable. 8. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Collected Storiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Watching Cinnabar Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lovely and poetic staging of Donald Marguliesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; 1996 drama was like watching a particularly beautiful piece of origami art slowly unfold to reveal the plain square of paper that was always there. With two strong performances by Carol Mayo Jenkins as a legendary teacher and writer of short fiction, and Anna Bullard as her too-eager, would-be-novelist student, the play, directed with a light, graceful hand by Elizabeth Craven, was as sly, funny and wise as it is was heartbreaking and real. 9. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Man of La Manchaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; I am not a fan of Lew Wassermanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrated musical, but the Mountain Playâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s staging of the story of Don Quixote, directed by the great James Dunn (whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always good with unstageable plays), managed to not only avoid all of the usual missteps, it ended up being deeply affecting and irresistibly tear-jerking. While a few other song-and-dance shows this year made similarly strong impressions, Man of La Mancha stands as my favorite musical of the year. 10. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Three Musketeersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; It was goofy, reductive and at times resembled a Mel Brooks spoof, but the Sonoma County Repertory Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take-no-prisoners staging of the Dumas classic, presented as part of the Sebastopol Shakespeare Festival, was like an old-fashioned Saturday matinee on steroids. From the witty wordplay and rousing fight choreography to an unexpectedly moving death scene, a pair of hiss-worthy villains (thank you Bronwen Shears and Eric Burke), this confident, energetic, adventure featured a strong all-star cast doing exceptional larger-than-life work, and strong, tonguein-cheek direction by Ken Sonkin. The Three Musketeers might not have been one of the most important plays of the year, but it was definitely one of the most entertaining.


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C843C>C74?0BC â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Upâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was both cute and acute in its examination of unnecessary burdens.

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Animation and big questions ruled 2009â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s screen By Richard von Busack

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ad Men was more exciting than two-thirds of the movies released this year. This season-long immersion into the world of half a century ago proved breathtakingly strange even to those who were children then. With Jon Hammâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s astonishing Don Draper as a traumatized executive ready to chew his leg off rather than get caught in familial snares, Mad Men made Up in the Air look fairly soft. Yet George Clooney and Vera Farmigaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performances in Up in the Air exemplify the highest kind of screen actingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re magic togetherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and that may be all that matters. Bearing almost everything Cary Grant had, Clooney displays far more eclectic tastes in material; his charm and dissatisfaction took Fantastic Mr. Fox out of the realm of kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; films into a seriocomic midlife crisis. But Up in the Air has led reviewers to coin the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;fauxmey,â&#x20AC;? meaning â&#x20AC;&#x153;fauxâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;homey.â&#x20AC;? Do the fauxmey Midwestern wedding scenes and the robust product placement for American Airlines and Hertz count as a critique of the System? Somehow, those cool airport concourses eclipse the passages about what the aviation industry does to its pilots, as seen in Michael Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Capitalism: A Love Story. Frank Rich of The New York Times is interested that Up in the Air has as its â&#x20AC;&#x153;primalâ&#x20AC;? background the aftereffects of a Wall Street culture thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s turning the United States into a boneyard. His point is unarguable. The question that keeps me from wholeheartedly embracing this movie is whether

Clooneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ryan Bingham have been a better person if he had a family to come home to after a day of cutting throats to boost stocks. Not all was escapism, though, in the real film story of 2009. This year finally showed that animation would never again be regarded as a novelty or a subset of cinema. From the blue motion-captured aliens of Avatar to the belle dame of Coraline, 2009 was to animation what 1939 was to studio filmmaking. I recently interviewed Mark Henn, a supervising animator on The Princess and the Frog, another ornament of the year in animation. Rather naturally, Henn credited this trove to the Disney organization. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There were, what, 30 animated films this year?â&#x20AC;? he asked. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But before the revival or renaissance of Disney in the 1980s, there had been just two or three animated movies a year. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re now seeing the fruits of the efforts we had during that â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s renaissance period.â&#x20AC;? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a theory. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seemingly very little Disney in Coraline, although director Henry Selick worked at Disney. Fantastic Mr. Fox and the sublime Town Called Panic, still unreleased, reflect Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wallace and Gromit more than the Mouse. Whether the technological breakthrough is Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Christmas Carol or Avatar, we witnessed an epochal banquet for children and adults alike. Maybe the key is that these animated films are trying to appeal to everyone instead of a limited, demographically select audience. I despair when people say Up was cute. What they meant, I hope, was â&#x20AC;&#x153;acute.â&#x20AC;? Yes, it has balloons and talking dogs and we can see the limits of the Pixar/Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vision in

the final imagining of Oaklandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Piedmont district. But Up, rather than Up in the Air, was the best film of 2009. It demonstrates a more wrenching understanding of the problem of staying and going. Its subject is the burden of dreams, and it partakes of blood, gunfire and the uncanny. The story of a man strapped to a haunted houseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is that your idea of cute? Old Carl, the true fanatic, redoubles his aims as he loses his concept of what heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trying to preserve. Is it his memories or the wooden hulk that contains them? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the candy colors that make the movie a classic but rather the serious cinematic storytelling during the already famous first five to 10 minutes. Careful writing matches two old men in their mutual obsessions, and (very unusual in a film Disney had anything to do with) it suggests that it is a terrible fate to cling to a past. This is a hard lesson for animators, who are almost all terrible nostaglics. A close second to Up was Coraline, a ravishing fairy tale told with Oregon terroir and Grimm Brothers terror; here is a more elegant tale of the dangers of coming of age than Twilight: New Moonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spot-thatmetaphor game of deflowering equals vampirization. The Canadian heavy metal doc Anvil! The Story of Anvil shows that even in the age when everyone documents everyone else, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still possible to trust a director. Critics have remarked of The Hurt Locker that it is amazing a woman, Kathryn Bigelow, made such a tough movie. Could a man have directed Agnès Vardaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gentle yet incisive The Beaches of Agnès? Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proof that selfdocumentation doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be boring; a mirror turned to an artist can turn out to reflect a good portion of the world. And what this year was more triumphant that the display of the inner youth of an elderly lady? A Serious Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fear and trembling is the opposite. The fable of a confused hero (Michael Stuhlbarg) caught between human malice and divine silence is essential viewing in a year when possibly more nonsense was talked about God and what He wants than in perhaps any other year in the history of the world. (You could judge this nonstatistic on a basis of population aloneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; nearly 7 billion, and the internet gives them quite a megaphone.) The Informant!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s similar Midwestern blight and its study of trust and duplicity also constitute a kind of corporate critiqueâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;more Sinclair Lewis than Billy Wilder. Sin Nombre is as dreamy as a film could be, dealing with the unspeakably sordid subject matter of drug gangs. Cary Fukunagaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s postâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;City of Gold filmmaking represents as accomplished a debut as we have enjoyed in years. And The Maidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ride-along with a domestic servant is a work of great intimacy and terror, and of unexpected mercy. As for the rest of the year: I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know if I have energy enough left to slap it goodbye. On the non-blockbuster, flank we endured a coterie of hipster coming-of-age movies that make one wonder if a certain segment of society is ever going to grow upâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Away We Go, Gigantic, Where the Wild Things Are. If (500) Days of Summer gets the Oscar for best original script, the Academy will be rewarding screenwriters who couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come up with a funnier porn movie title than Sweet and Shower. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a precedent we want to set. THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

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Bargain Tuesday - $7.50 All Shows Bargain $7.00 All Shows Schedule forTuesday Fri, Feb -20th – Thu, Feb 26th Schedule for Fri, June 22nd - Thu, June 28th Academy Award Nominee Bargain Tuesday - $7.50 All Shows Schedule for Fri, Jan 1st – Thu, Jan Best Foreign Language Film! 7th

“Raw and Riveting!” – Rolling Stone WALTZ BASHIR Nominated for 5 WITH GoldenHEART Globes Including A MIGHTY (1:00) Best 3:00 5:00 7:00 RR Best Picture, Actor – Daniel Day Lewis & (12:30) 2:45 5:00 7:20 9:15 9:45 Best Actress – Marion Cotillard! 2 Academy Award Noms Including Best Actor!

NINE “A Triumph!” – New York Observer THE WRESTLER (12:30 1:30) 3:15 4:15 6:00 (12:20) 2:45 5:10 9:45 R LA VIE EN 7:30 ROSE 7:00 8:30 9:30 PG-13 On 2 Screens! (12:45) 3:45 6:45 9:45 PG-13 10 Academy Award Best Please Note: NoNoms 1:30pIncluding Showing on Picture! Sat

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE Golden Globe Nominee! Best Actress – Emily Blunt “䖟䖟䖟䖟 – Really, Truly, Deeply – (1:15) 4:00 9:40 R One of This Year’s Best!” – Ebert Newsday “‫ۺۺۺۺ‬ !” –7:10 Roger THE YOUNG VICTORIA ONCE 8 Academy Award Noms Including

(12:20) 2:40 PG (1:00) 3:10 5:20 7:30 R Best Picture, Best5:00 Actor7:20 & Best9:40 Director! Golden Globe MILKNominee Best Supporting Actor6:45 – Woody “Wise, Humble and Effortlessly Funny!” – Newsweek (1:30) 4:10 9:30 RHarrelson

THEWAITRESS MESSENGER

Please Note: No 1:30 Show Sat, No 6:45 Show Thu

(12:35) 5:10 9:50 R “Played With FROST/NIXON Great Wit!” – New York Times (1:30) 4:00 7:10 9:30 Best R Picture! 5 Academy Award Noms Including

ME AND ORSON (2:15) 7:20 R WELLES “Swoonly Romatic, Mysterious, Hilarious!” (12:10) 7:10Magazine 9:45 PG-13 – Slant REVOLUTIONARY ROAD 3 Golden Globe Nominations Including Best Picture! PARIS, JE T’AIME (11:45) 4:45 9:50 R (1:15)PRECIOUS 4:15 7:00 9:30 R Kevin Jorgenson presents the California Premiere of (2:55) 7:30 R PURE: A BOULDERING Golden Globe Nominee! Best Actress – FLICK Carey Mulligan Michael Moore’s Thu, Feb 26th at 7:15 AN EDUCATION SICKO MOVIES IN THE PG-13 MORNING (2:30) 4:45

Starts Fri, June 29th! Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon Advance Tickets IN On Sale at Box Office! MOVIES THENow MORNING FROZEN RIVER (12:00) 5:00 10:009:50 AM Fri, Sat,2:30 Sun & Mon7:30 Mornings 10:15 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA 10:00 AM AM JULIE AND JULIA (NO SHOW SAT) 10:20 AM CHANGELING 10:00 AN EDUCATION Venessa Redgrave Meryl Streep Glenn CloseAM 10:40 RACHEL GETTING 10:10 AM AM A SERIOUS MANMARRIED 10:15 AM AM 2009 LIVE ACTION SHORTS (Fri/Mon Only)) 10:45 PRECIOUS EVENING 10:45 AM 10:30 AM THE LOCKER 2009HURT ANIMATED SHORTS Only) Starts Fri,(Sun June 29th!

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THE BOHEMIAN



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THE BOHEMIAN


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Treacherous Two

Eclectic Beast

Festive Fingers

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a multitude of reasons to head out to the Hopmonk Tavern on New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eveâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the Mystic Beat Lounge showcase, live paintings, fire dancers, attendees under the age of 30â&#x20AC;&#x201D;but the main attraction is a hip-hop duo whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be keeping the party live well into 2010. DJ Zeph & Azeem are two veterans of the San Francisco underground who assimilate jazz textures and sociorevolutionary themes into their work to create a definitively Bay Area sound. Their latest album, Rise Up, stands as a beat-scattered salve to those still scarred by hyphyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s incessant posturing. With one foot in the classic â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s hip-hop sound and performing will a full live band, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re perfect for rocking in the New Year. They appear with opener Romanowski, whose keynote track â&#x20AC;&#x153;Strudel Strutâ&#x20AC;? helped bring early-decade turntablism out of its technical rut and into a more rhythm-as-composition era, on Thursday, Dec. 31, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 8pm. $20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$30. 707.829.7300.

You know you wanna see those off-the-rack Ann Taylor dresses crinkling back and forth to that funky, bluesy sound on New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve, and if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not relying on Tommy Castroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show at the Mystic Theater in Petaluma for the task, then Curt Campbell is the guy to supply. Memorably billed as the â&#x20AC;&#x153;only Navy SEAL to come out of Marin,â&#x20AC;? Campbell plays a mean harmonica and sings a meaner growl. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Me and Jim Beam,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cowboy Boots & 501â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;SEAL House Rockinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;these are the tunes to fill a dancef loor and further lubricate the Champagne-sodden crowd. With a backing band full of all-star sidemen, a cracker jack horn section and a madmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stage presence, Campbell will rock the house. Make sure to wear your red dress for a special shout-out during the uptempo blues hammer of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Trainâ&#x20AC;? when Campbell plays with his band on Thursday, Dec. 31, at the Mill Valley Masonic. 19 Corte Madera Ave., Mill Valley. 9:30pm. $35â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$45. 415.388.2550.

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re under the age of 25, chances are your sole knowledge of Marvin Hamlisch comes from the movie Role Models, in which perpetual adolescent Christopher Mintz-Plasse exasperates over constant comparisons to the mythic unknown celebrity. But to those who grew up on The Sting, The Way We Were, A Chorus Line and Ordinary People, Hamlisch is. . . well, OK, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still kind of a behind-the-scenes guy. But the pianist and composer is a huge musical legend on Broadway and in Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the only person in history to win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, a Tony, a Golden Globe and a Pulitzerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and his New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve show in Napa is bound to be a delight for theatergoers and film buffs. With Broadway singers Gary Mauer and Anne Runolfsson on the mic, Hamlisch on the keys, and Domaine Carneros in the glass, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve for the ages on Thursday, Dec. 31, at the Napa Valley Opera House. 8:30pm. Performance only, $95; performance and afterparty, $165. 707.226.7372.

6PQT<T[X]T THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

33


:B@60

the last day saloon nightclub & restaurant the best place for live music, dancing and dining

DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T FORGETâ&#x20AC;ŚWE SERVE FOOD TOO!

Mc Nearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dining House

THE BAR AND RESTAURANT OPENS ON ALL SHOW DAYS AT 4 PM

12/31

Breakfast â&#x20AC;˘ Lunch â&#x20AC;˘ Dinner BBQ â&#x20AC;˘ Pasta â&#x20AC;˘ Steak

9 PM SHOW > $40 > 70'S-90'S DANCE

THUR 12/31 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $50 ADV/$60 DOS â&#x20AC;˘ 21+ BLUES/ROCK

nEW yEAR'S eVE PARTY

WONDERBREAD 5

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE

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WITH

TOMMY CASTRO

+ dj on-que PARTY FAVORS MIDNIGHT BALLOON DROP AND CHAMPAGNE TOAST

INCLUDES PARTY FAVORS, 11:00 BUFFET, DRINK TICKET OR CHAMPAGNE AND BALLOON DROP

9:00 PM SHOW > $10 > POP ROCK

1/2

SAT 1/16 â&#x20AC;˘ 6:30PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $20 â&#x20AC;˘ ALL AGES JAZZ & BLUES

NEVERLAND

DELTA WIRES & STOMPY JONES

14 PIECE TRIBUTE TO MICHAEL JACKSON + DJ ON-QUE

1/3

1:00 PM SHOW > $10 > DIXIELAND JAZZ

WITH PETALUMA HIGH JAZZ ENSEMBLE

SF STARLIGHT ORCHESTRA

TUE 1/19 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $25 â&#x20AC;˘ 21+

STEVE MORSE ANGEL FIRE

+ SIX JAM SESSIONS BY T.R.A.D. J.A.S.S.

1/7

WITH LAPDANCE ARMAGEDDON

8:30 PM SHOW > $10/12 > HIP HOP

FRI 1/22 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $15 â&#x20AC;˘ 21+ AMERICANA

michael marshall

CHUCK PROPHET

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+ Rapping 4 Tay + At All Costs

PLUS JESSE DENATALE

SAT 1/30 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $25 ADV/$28 DOS â&#x20AC;˘ 18+ SINGER/SONGWRITER

+ Optimystik + Villein + The Sand Child + Mastah Mind & B Smooth + Milk Man

1/9

GREG BROWN

9:30 PM SHOW > $10 > 70'S TO NOW DANCE MUSIC

TUE 2/2 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $25 â&#x20AC;˘ 21+ BLUES

POP FICTION 1/15

MARK HUMMELâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HARMONICA BLOWOUT

8:00 PM SHOW > $12/15 > COMEDY

WITH KIM WILSON & ROD PIAZZA FEAT RUSTY ZINN

COMEDY NIGHT FEATURING

MARK PITTA

THE MOTHER HIPS WITH BIG LIGHT & DAVE BROGAN

9:00 PM SHOW > $20 > REGGAE

MON 2/8 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $28 ADV/$30 DOS â&#x20AC;˘ 21+ BLUE GRASS/AMERICANA FOLK

ANTHONY B

DAVE RAWLINGS MACHINE

+ DJ JACQUES + DIRTY DUB BAND

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9:00 PM SHOW > $10 > 80'S DANCE

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LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III SOLO

all shows are 21+ unless noted

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34

12.30.09-01.05.10

0[BcP]Sb 0[^]T Rock renaissance man Al Kooper plays the Bay Area solo

FRI 2/5 â&#x20AC;˘ 7:00PM DOORS â&#x20AC;˘ $15 ADV/$17 DOS â&#x20AC;˘ 21+ ROCK

+ caitlin gill + JEFF BLAZY

1/16

BD?4AB4BB8>=<0= Al Kooperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s had his hand in nearly everything.

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

THE BOHEMIAN



By Bruce Robinson

8

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just barely possible to get through a full day of classic rock radio without hearing one of the iconic songsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;â&#x20AC;&#x153;Like a Rolling Stone,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;You Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Always Get What You Want,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sweet Home Alabama,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Quit Her,â&#x20AC;? among othersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that Al Kooper had a hand in creating, as a songwriter, keyboard player, arranger, producer and/or bandleader. Perhaps best known for organizing and playing on the 1968 Super Session LP with Mike Bloomfield and Stephen Stills (an early bid to apply the jazz jam-session ethic to rock and roll), Kooper rose to prominence as a member of the Blues Project and went on to form Blood, Sweat and Tears, only to depart before the band broke through to massive success. Add to those a history of session work with a whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s who of musical greats (the Stones, Dylan, the Who, B. B. King, Jimi Hendrix, Miles

Davis) and you have to wonder, why isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t this guy a household name? Sometimes he wonders, too. Just finding dates to playâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;such as the pair of solo appearances that bring him to San Francisco and Fairfax next weekâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is a challenge. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to play a lot more, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to do it,â&#x20AC;? the 65-year-old Kooper grumbles affably by phone from his Bostonarea home. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I change booking agents like Kleenex, but it just doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work.â&#x20AC;? Asked to choose a favorite from his own considerable compositional output, Kooper quickly settles on â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Love You More Than Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Ever Know,â&#x20AC;? a soulful track from the debut Blood, Sweat and Tears album Child Is Father to the Man. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It reached a lot of people,â&#x20AC;? he explains. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think more people have recorded that than any other song I wrote. It was really spearheaded by Donny Hathawayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recording, and then a lot of people basically imitated his version of it. I just got a video someone sent me of Stevie Wonder singing it, which was a big thrill for me.â&#x20AC;? Although Kooper was the featured vocalist for many of the Blues Project sides and most of Child Is Father to the Man, as well as his numerous solo recordings, he is quick to acknowledge that singing â&#x20AC;&#x153;was really my weakest card. The one thing that sort of got me through was I always believed in what I sang, and I always concentrated on that believability. There are a lot of really good singers who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do that. So I think people believed what I sang, and that helped me get through the fact that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sing it very well.â&#x20AC;? Kooper has detailed his personal odyssey through rock history in the delightfully plainspoken (and recently updated) memoir, Backstage Passes & Backstabbing Bastards, which chronicles his early days peddling songs to Gene Pitney through the many previously cited highlights to his most recent solo records, Black Coffee (2005) and White Chocolate (2008), both of which display his newfound love of the mandolin, often used as a textual substitute for acoustic guitars. And even if heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not playing as much as heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like, Kooper is definitely listening. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now I think I know more about current music than Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever known,â&#x20AC;? he says, hastening to exclude modern country music, rap, hip-hop and thrash metal. A scan of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fifty Faves of 2009â&#x20AC;? posted on his website finds nods to Jesse Winchester and Rickie Lee Jones, along with enthusiastic shout-outs to far less familiar names such as Kristina Train, Other Lives, Worlds Collide and the Honeydogs. But Kooper is also disdainful of the current â&#x20AC;&#x153;glut of people who call themselves musiciansâ&#x20AC;? and the industry machine that encourages them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Each generation, the music business concocts a new kind of music thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s geared to infuriate the parents of the last generation,â&#x20AC;? he philosophizes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hip-hop and rapâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wasted on me. They succeeded quite well in giving this generation a music that would infuriate the older generation.â&#x20AC;? Still, he says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;History has shown us that it always does come back to three-chord rock and roll. They just call it something different each time.â&#x20AC;? Al Kooper plays on Wednesday, Jan. 6, at the 19 Broadway Niteclub. 19 Broadway, Fairfax. 8pm. $25. 415.459.1091.


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Sat, Jan 2 8:00-9:00am; 9:15-10:15am Jazzercise 10:30-11:40am Salsa Workout with DJ Steve Luther 7:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11:00pm Steve Luther hosts A DANCE FOR EVERYBODY Sun, Jan 3 8:30-9:30am Jazzercise 10:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11:30am Zumba Fitness with Anna 5:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country-Western Lessons & Dancing $10 Mon, Jan 4 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 3:30pm WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 3:30, Meeting 4:00 7:00-10:00pm New! Scottish Country Dancing Tues, Jan 5 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING

Weigh in 9:30, Meeting 10:00

7:15-9:00pm AFRICAN DANCE with Victoria Strowbridge featuring West African & Congolese Dance

Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Social Hall since 1922 8C02CD0;;H3>4B=½C64C0=H2740?4A Robin Pfefer headlines her own damn bar with Cheap Date 13 on New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve at the Black Cat in Penngrove. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free! See Clubs, p36.

1400 W. College Avenue â&#x20AC;˘ Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 â&#x20AC;˘ www.monroe-hall.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

35


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The Easy Leaves

Americana / Indie / Country www.myspace.com/theeasyleaves

Sun, Jan 3 @ 6 pm

Radio K-Bob Acoustic Folk

707.874.9037 | www.barleynhops.com 3688 Bohemian Highway, Occidental 36

12.30.09-01.05.10

THE BOHEMIAN



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Twenty years later, Psychefunkapus return op music isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always exactly aligned with major social upheaval. Here we are, at the end of 2009, with bailouts, unemployment, healthcare battles, wingnut dissent, withered hopes and even more withered bank balances, and our pop music isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the fiery, angry alternative rock that defined the not-very-oppressive Clinton era. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taylor Swift and the cast of Glee. The mood of the country is such that escapism is more attractive than reality in music. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather hear about Shawty getting lowâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;not our spirits. This is not new. Even 20 years ago, in 1989, the headlines were dominated by Tiananmen Square, the Exxon Valdez oil spill, Operation Rescue, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;War on Drugs,â&#x20AC;? the PMRC, Ayatollah Khomeini and the Eastern Bloc. What was playing on the radio during the turbulence? New Kids on the Block, Milli Vanilli, Paula Abdul and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Batdance.â&#x20AC;? Depeche Mode may have asked for a personal Jesus, but the rest of the country cruised in their carsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;as big as a whaleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in neon hypercolor T-shirts, stonewashed jeans and ratted hair. The Bay Area wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t immune to this imbalance in 1989. For every punk band screaming about lingering Reaganomics, there were at least ďŹ ve or six â&#x20AC;&#x153;funkâ&#x20AC;? bandsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;usually leftover metal bandsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with a slapping bass player, a disco drummer and a shirtless lead vocalist singing and rapping, usually in wacky metaphors, about sex. If you remember any of these bands, with names like Fungo Mungo, BlĂźchunks, Smokinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Rhythm Prawns and the Limbomaniacs, then you surely remember the Bay Areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great white hope for funk. Psychefunkapus seemed to have it made: a major-label deal with Atlantic Records, MTV videos, hordes of blonde girls in the front row. And then, faster than you can say â&#x20AC;&#x153;Smells Like Teen Spirit,â&#x20AC;? they were forgotten ashes from a scene that imploded under the crushing weight of Seattle. Until now. With a completely sold-out show with the reunited Limbomaniacs and Fungo Mungo at Slimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in San Francisco on Jan. 2, the groovalicious bandâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; originally formed in San Geronimoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;plays a warmup gig on New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day in Point Reyes to provide cautious diversion and morphine-like nostalgia for the survivors of 1989. Throw on those Vaurnets and mosh it up to â&#x20AC;&#x153;SurďŹ nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; on Jupiterâ&#x20AC;? all over again with Psychefunkapus on Friday, Jan 1, at the Dance Palace. 503 B St., Pt. Reyes Station. 8pm. $20. 909.993.7227. Gabe Meline

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Saturday, January 2nd â&#x20AC;˘ 8 pm

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Lacy J. Dalton â&#x20AC;˘ Country Legend

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Thursday Night KARAOKE â&#x20AC;˘ 8:30pm

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5 miles North of Ukiah, Hwy 101 â&#x20AC;˘ West Road Exit, Ukiah

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707-485-0700 â&#x20AC;˘ www.coyotevalleycasino.com

Take a scenic drive for a unique dining experience

Reservations advised HAPPY HOUR Mâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;F â&#x20AC;˘ 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6PM EST. 1941

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20 min from downtown Petaluma, 25 min from everywhere else!

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weekend New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Party! 31 THE ZYDECO FLAMES

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Slide Guitar Genius 8:30pm

Sun

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Sat

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MITCH WOODS & HIS ROCKET 88S 9 8:30pm

Sun

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Fri

Jan 22

Rancho Debut!

THE BUENO BROTHERS

FEATURING LORIIN ROWAN & DAVE JENKINS 4:00pm / In the Bar

THE ED EARLEY BAND

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Party Time! 8:00pm / In the Bar

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TEVE UCKY AND THE RHUMBA BUMS SS CARMEN GETIT FEATURING MIS 8:30pm

LUAU WITH LED KAAPANA

8:30pm

LAVAY SMITH AND HER RED HOT Jan 30 SKILLET LICKERSS Sat

8:30pm

Outdoor Dining 7 Days a Week

415.662.2219

On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com

THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

37


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12.30.09-01.05.10

THE BOHEMIAN

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12.30.09-01.05.10

41


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Next door to The Mighty Quinn on SR Ave Open 7 Days a Week 10am to 10pm



Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M NOT THE GUY... ...for long walks on the beach, dancing the night away. Retiree, 48, moderately disabled with MS, SSU grad, into jazz, films, progressive talk radio. San Francisco native seeks caring, happy lady, 40-50, for companionship. N/S. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a good listener, talk to me. Tell me about yourself. 219612



WELL-TRAVELED WRITER Sensitive, compassionate, honest WM, warm, open, considered attractive, wonderful listener, quiet entertaining, likes most kinds of movies, music, travel, more. Seeking WF, 52-71, for possible relationship. 323098



HAPPILY EVER AFTER Single white male, 46, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;11â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 190lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, Aquarius, interested in music, film, literature. Seeking the real deal, the storybook, the fairy tale princess. 323596



NO GAMES OR DRAMA WM, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 190lbs, brownishgray, hazel, goatee, loves playing pool, the outdoors, football, trying new things. Looking for a lady, 25-55, who wants to meet a nice guy. 323674



BLONDE A PLUS SM, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10â&#x20AC;?, 185lbs, black/ brown, light complexion, looking for a slim WF, 19-29, for dating. 324312



LOTTERY WINNER if you respond to this ad you will in effect have won the lottery. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a bald 54 year-old, handsomeman, well-traveled, love cooking, adventure, exploring. Ready to have a slender, attractive, sexy, happy girlfriend. 325270



GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR SWM, 59, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;11â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 180lbs, nonsmoker, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, enjoys fishing, beaches, dining out and more. Seeking female, 5565, for possible relationship. 309857



FRIEND LOVER SOULMATE SWPJM, 56, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10â&#x20AC;?, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, kind, passionate, artistic, sincere, committed and fun, enjoys ocean walks, travel, arts, food, wine and nature. Seeking SF, 5062, kindred spirit, kind, soft, sensuous, for lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adventures together. 309779



GET TO KOW ME SBM, 53, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;1â&#x20AC;?, 190lbs, looking for a fun, loving woman, 2565, with a good personality, who likes having a good time, the beach, horseback riding, movies, walks and more. 314332



LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315052



HOPE TO FIND YOU Sociable, good-hearted, compassionate, healthy gentleman, 63, published writer/ poet, D/D-free, non-drinker, enjoys quiet times, home, sports, simple times. Seeking loving, happy, intelligent woman to share life, love, possible LTR. Bay Area preferred. 224839



ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White Guidelines:BohemianRomanceisacommunitypublication.ParticipantsintheBohemianRomancemust be 18 years or older. Use of Bohemian Romance for any illegal purpose will be subject to prosecution. Bohemian Romanceisnotliableforthecontentofthepersonalsadvertisementsortheresponsetosuchadvertisements.BohemianRomance encourages readers to take appropriate safeguards when responding to personal and arrangingmeetings.Screenallrespondentscarefully.Meetingswithnew companions should occur in public places and participants should not divulge their addresses. Be smart, not sorry. Notallboxescontainavoicegreeting.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235

(with credit card or check)

Only $2.29 per minute â&#x20AC;˘ 18 and up â&#x20AC;˘ Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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BOHEMIANROMANCE To become a member, call To listen & respond to ads, call

1 900.287.1222

1.800.214.3435 To listen & respond to ads using a credit card or check, call

1 800.273.8235

Call costs $2.19/min. Must be 18+ Men Seeking Women LOOK NO FURTHER SWM, 30, 5’4’’, looking for a woman, 30-40, who wants to hang out and get to know each other. 317907



COOKING FOR YOU! SWM, 62, 5’10”, 170lbs, N/S, light drinker, clean shaven, hazel eyes, self-employed, loves cooking, jazz and traveling. Seeking a similar woman, 50-80, race unimportant, for possible LTR. 318883



ONE GOOD MAN LEFT SHM, 32, N/S, likes soccer, running. In search of SA/BF for friendship first possibly leading to more. 319059



JUST MOVED HERE SWM, 5’7’’, 190lbs, brown eyes, wants to meet soulmate in similar SF, 30-55. I love swing dancing, travel, gourmet cooking, animals, nature. 305800



SOMEONE LIKE ME SWM, youthful 51, 5’11’’, 200lbs, dark hair, hazel eyes, looking for a lady, 40-59, who likes to party, is outgoing, adventurous. 319319



EASY ON THE EYES Outgoing, good-looking WM, 6’, 175lbs, salt-n-pepper/blue, good sense of humor, spontaneous, romantic, adventurous, likes weekend getaways, concerts and more. Seeking honest, appreciative woman, 22-65, who has goals in life. 320839



JACK OF HEARTS Handsome dude, 57, good SOH, interesting, spontaneous, fun, adventuresome, looking for attractive woman. I enjoy dancing, concerts, dining out, hiking, beach combing and holding hands also loves animals, dogs, cats and horses. Happy trails! 20 1639



SEEKING A REAL WOMAN WM, 6’, 200lbs, blond/blue, a few tattoos, very athletic, loves the beach, bike rides, romantic evenings at home, great conversation. Seeking honest woman, 18-50, no games. 322539



KISSING & CUDDLING Single man in Sonoma County, extremely romantic, looking for an equally romantic partner. I love soft kisses, snuggling on the couch, and making you laugh! 315225



SOMETIMES MISCHIEVOUS Optimistic, honest, cleancut, caring, outdoorsy man, 50s, likes music, walks, long drives, running, watching tv, museums, dining out. Seeking SF, 50s, for companionship. 313135



FRIENDSHIP FIRST Caring, honest, nurturing SM, 60s, enjoys music, watching tv, walks, camping, coffee shops, hiking and museums. Looking for SF, 30-70, for dating possibly leading to LTR. 313144



LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6’, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315055



LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE SM, 20s, bright, artistic, ambitious, optimistic, personable, likes dining, travel, the beach, walking, exercise. Seeking female, 20s, for possible relationship. 318319



COMPASSIONATE SM, 60s, with good values, likes camping, dancing, dining, reading, hiking, walking, biking. Looking for SF, 50s, for LTR. 318320



Men Seeking Men LOOKING FOR LOVE Seeking one man to love and care for completely and forever. Me: SBM, 50ish, affectionate, supportive, genuine, lots to offer. You: just be yourself, imperfect, mature older man, 70-90, with some humor, some laughter. Are you the one? 299175



COMPASSIONATE GUY Hard-working, classy, cleancut, caring, honest male in search of a male, 58-69, who likes night clubs, television, travel, dancing, the beach, taking walks, exercise. 308996



Women Seeking Women WHERE ARE YOU? You are 35-45, very feminine, dark, mystical, spiritual, with a sense of humor, know what you like, and want to enjoy life, but not alone. I’m trying to find you, where are you? 310085



LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 41, Santa Rosa area, looking for a SWF, 30-45, to hang out and have fun with. 318644



Alternative Lifestyles BROWN SUGAR SBF, 44, big behind and beautiful breasts, loves to get freaky. Spontaneous and open-minded, searching for well-endowed, spontaneous, open-minded, well-dressed man who appreciates a good lady. 325727



ANYTHING GOES I love to please and be pleased. Looking for a couple for fun times together. 325726



SPANK YOU VERY MUCH Woman, thou shalt be spanked. Gentle or hard, clothed or naked, whatever you deserve, by a sexy man who knows how to do it. 288495



DISCREET ENCOUNTER BiHM, 50, 5’6”, 180lbs, nonsmoker, seeking males, females or couples to have some hot fun and more. 324668



STRAIGHTFORWARD FUN SWM, 39, looking for SF, 1850, who likes to try new things and isn’t afraid of having a little fun! 304707



JOIN US White couple looking for a female, 18-25, for fun, discreet times together. Give us a call. 311573



READY FOR FUN? SWM, 30, feminine bottom, looking for a top WM, 20-60, for good times and fun. Let’s see where it goes! 311892



SHE-MALE SEEKS GOOD TIMES Want to spend time with a man or a woman. I am very affectionate, beautiful, and love to be held. Interested? 279657



KEEP IT DISCREET WF, 30s, dark/dark, light complexion, fun-loving, bi-curious, seeks discreet female, 28-55, to have fun and party with. 314779



WHATEVER YOU DECIDE! SM, 5’11’’, 170lbs, light brown hair, blue eyes, athletic build, shaved, smooth and sexy, well-endowed, into a wide variety of pleasures. Anything goes; role play, fantasy fulfillment, toys, porn, lingerie. Seeking couples and females to party and play. 316161



COUPLE SEEKS WOMAN Very attractive, middle-aged, married white couple, she’s 5’2”, 125lbs, 34D. He is 5’11”, 172lbs. Both and very sensual and she is multi-orgasmic. We are N/S, light drinkers, healconscious, pleasant, nonpushy. Please be N/S, H/W proportionate, white, Hispanic or Asian, under 55. Bi or bi-curious ok. Discretion assured. Let’s have fun. 314002



TURN THE TABLES Handsome, sane, married WM, 57 is looking for a woman, who knows how to use a strap on, for ongoing, mostly daytime play. I will please you in any way that you want and I take directions well. 318288



GREAT LEGS! Tall, slender cross-dresser, very nice legs, looking for men or a group of men. Give me a call, let’s have some fun! 318996



BD/SM SWM, submissive, wants one or two females or young male for BD/SM, watersports, torture, anal. Never did any of this before, but curious to try now! 319455



SEEKING COUPLES Good-looking bi male, 50, would like to meet bi man/ woman couples for erotic interlude. 319986



TRIPLE PLAY Handsome, easygoing, discreet, polite gentleman, 57, enjoys couples. I am a WM, 6’, 190lbs, athletic build, well hung and Bi. I also like dominant women. 232423



LET’S HAVE SOME FUN Male looking for an older gentleman, 35-65, to teach me the ropes. I haven’t been with too many people. I like watching adult movies and trying new things. 321782



I NEED HELP! Married HM, 49, 5’11”, goodlooking, doesn’t get it at home. Looking for a wild woman with a high libido for a discreet sexual encounter. 322196



FREAKY MAN... looking for a freaky, spontaneous, wild, erotic woman, 18-55, to get together and have some fun, adult times together. 322361



SANTA ROSA AREA WM, 41, looking for openminded people who enjoy adult fun. I like adult movies, toys and looking for a couples and females. I can be orally bi depending on the chemistry. 323130

18+

866.689.5312



LET’S HAVE FUN SM, 38, 6’2”, 200lbs, looking for a top or couples to get together and share good times with. 324363

Get ready to meet someone special.



Missed Connections AMAZON KINDLE Hello, I met you Friday June 27 at the Russian River Brewing Company on Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. She may be a computer programmer from St. Helena Hospital and watched on this day 3 movies back to back in the theater on Fourth St. in the town of Santa Rosa The Love Guru by Mike Meyers, Wall-E and another film. And she sipped a little beer and read from her Amazon kindle. I would like to get in touch with this girl and ask her to edit my book. She is a perfect candidate for my book. Hope to hear from you. Phil. 274972



CORINA IN OLIVER’S Saturday at 4:00PM, You had 15-year-old twins with blacks belts in karate. I have two cute little kids. We talked about children and kale. Lunch? 311695



call 1.800.214.3435

The Bohemian is no longer servicing walk-in ads. Please call 1-800-214-3435 to become a member.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235

(with credit card or check)

Only $2.19 per minute • 18 and up • Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS

Placing an Ad

Contacting Us

§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m.

Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. ph: 707.527.1200

√ By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

gg Employment

For Sale

Jobs

Electronics

Miscellaneous

Get Dish-Free Installation $19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy! Call now for details: 877-887-6144. (AAN CAN)

Adult Entertainment

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Remodeling/Repair

12 Step Study Group meets Fridays from 7:00-8:15pm, at the Community Church of Sebastopol, rm 4, 1000 Gravenstein Hwy. For more info about CODA visit www.CODA.org or call 707-535-9725.

g Miscellaneous

Gain National Exposure

Family Services

Reach over 5 million young, active, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202/289-8484. (AAN CAN)

Pregnant? Considering Adoption?

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Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. Living expenses

Take advantage of our mild High School Diploma! California Bay Area climate to Fast, affordable and accredget your vegetable gardening ited. Free brochure. Call Now!. up and productive for the sea

Adoptions

Classes & Instruction

Vegetable Gardening

Beekeeping

Stony Point Rd.

Do you know that you can keep bees in a small family hive in your backyard? Contact Cynthia at loveapplefarm@gmail.com or call 831.588.3801. ADVANCE REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED. Available class dates: January 16, 2010 (Saturday) 10am-1pm June 12, 2010 (Saturday) 10am-1pm. Tuition: $49

Green Earth Catering Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

Standish Ave

Storage Master Self Storage

#

Dutton Ave.

Corby Auto Row

Rohnert Park

3205 Dutton Avenue

Hearn Rd.

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 [ www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

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Bellevue

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

$19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy! Call now for details: 1-800-943-0685. (AAN CAN)

FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Hardware/ Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email,Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam NguyenChief Tech, M-F 10-6 info@themacadvantage.com 707.664.0400

Codependents Anonymous Womens

Todd Rd.

Become TEFL certified. 4-week course offered monthly in Prague. Jobs available worldwide. Lifetime job assistance. Tuition: 1300 Euros. www.teflworldwideprague.co m/ mailto:info@teflworldwideprague.com (AAN CAN)

Get Dish-Free Installation

MacAdvantage Macintosh

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1-888-532-6546 ext. 97 son. Available class dates: www.continentalacademy.com January 24, 2010 (Sunday) 10am-3pm February 13, 2010 (AAN CAN) (Saturday) 10am-3pm Tuition: Announcements $55 Materials Fee: $20. fh.bond@gmail.com

W. Robles

TEACH ENGLISH ABROAD!

Computer Services

paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866/413-6293 (AAN CAN)

Santa Rosa

HWY 101

• Call for our current specials • Month to Month Availability • Boxes, Packaging & Moving Supplies • Residential & Commercial • Professional On-site Managers

1435 Sebastopol Road

707-546-0000 707-578-3299

SANTA ROSA’S

Adult Entertainment

Quality and Maturity

Kara, in Marin. Call for photos. Please, no calls from blocked phone numbers. No calls after midnight. 415/233-2769. Adult Massage

**North Bay Beauties** Convenient incall off 101. Ask about website pix. Liza * 707-566-7866 Kayla * 707-843-2271 Chatline

WHERE SINGLES MEET Listen & Respond FREE! 707/583-1055 Code 6999 Visit MegaMates.com, 18+ Dateline

SINGLES! SANTA TA ROSA CALL NOW! SANT

707-206-6494 707 206 6494 SAN FRANCISCO....415-501-9701

Collect Call Billing! 1-866-607-5282 1-900 Pricing Options! 1-900-622-1100 Dial #CLICK (#25425) 79¢/min. Sprint, Boost, AT&T

18+ *Charges may apply to certain features.

MEN SEEKING MEN Browse & Respond FREE! 415-430-1199 Code 5631 Meet Your Man Here!

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12.30.09-01.05.10

44


HEALTH&WELL-BEING g Healing & Bodywork

Windsor: 4 Men Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Great Massage

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A Safe

Golden Flower Massage Spa

By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub Place To Be Real and pool available. Will do Holistic tantric masseuse. outcalls. 707-228-6883. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. Health & Beauty NEW CLIENT DISCOUNT. 707-793-2232.

Petaluma Lavender Day Spa

RELAX!

Opening Specials

Relaxing massage and bodywork by male massage therapist with 10 yrs experience. 707-542-6856

Rocks and Clouds Zendo Meditation and Dharma Talk • Swedish & Deep

FLOWER SPA

Tissue Massage • Hot Stone Massage

• FREE Table Shower • FREE 20 min Sauna

699 Petaluma Blvd. N

First time $45/hr. www.garywtmassage.com, Gary, CMT. 707-235-5423

• Relaxing Body Scrubs

Lily Spa

Walk-ins Welcome

RELAX

707-782-9898

Massage • Reflexology Swedish/Shiatsu Open 7 Days: 10am-10pm

1626 4th St. Santa Rosa 707.526.6888

Open 7 days, 9–10

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Great Healing Honoring the Season: Massage Affordable Swedish, An Evening of Reflec- Deep Tissue or Acupressure. tion and Anticipation Free parking Downtown Open 7 days 9am-10pm

• Excellent Massage your choice of soft, Chinese, Swedish, Acupressure or combo

Wednesday nights, 7:00 p.m. 618 South Main Street, Sebastopol. www.rocksandclouds.org 707/824-5647.

707.765.1879

luxury large Finnish & steam combination

Relaxing Massage

practices. Dec 21, 7-8:30 pm, Journey Center, Santa Rosa, 707-578-2121, www.journeycenter.org.

Join us as we gather on the December solstice, the longest night of the year, to prepare together for deep winter and the slowly returning sun. We will be sharing stories and contemplative

Santa Rosa. CMT Mary 707-228-3275

Honoring the Season: An Evening of Reflection and Anticipation Join us as we gather on the December solstice, the longest night of the year, to prepare together for deep winter and the slowly returning sun. We will be sharing stories and contemplative practices. Dec 21, 7-8:30 pm, Journey Center, Santa Rosa, 707-578-2121, www.journeycenter.org.

Rocks and Clouds Zendo Meditation and Dharma Talk Wednesday nights, 7:00 p.m. 618 South Main Street, Sebastopol. www.rocksandclouds.org 707/824-5647.

Parking is easy & safe

Asian Massage Thai • Deep Tissue Swedish • Hot Stone 1 HR/$65 90 MIN/$100 walk-ins or appt

707.528.2540 3401 Cleveland Ave #2 Santa Rosa

131 Liberty St, Ste. D

Massage & Relaxation

MEN! Get a Massage the way you like it. Swedish and deep tissue techniques. Relaxing and rejuvenating. Flexible schedule for your convenience. Outcalls available. Call James 707-477-4365.

Full Body Sensual Massage With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.

A Provider of Pleasure

Massage 4 Men

by Ron,

CMT ›JXk`]jp`e^=lcc9f[p ›Jn\[`j_&;\\gK`jjl\ ›JkXik`e^Xk$+,&_i ›Gi`mXk\Jkl[`f Schedule Online

QuietMassage.com Santa Rosa 8 am – 8 p m (.'. ,*-$((*-

Strong Thorough and Intuitive 30 yrs experience. Excellent Rates! 1/2 hour, hour or 90 mins. Colin, CMT 707-823-2990.

In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a “mature”, compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.

Deep Relaxing Full Body Massage To total Completion by a mature male $40/hour. Napa Valley location. Roger 707-525-1771.

Men`s Massage for Pleasure and Health

Ayurvedic

Indian Head Massage • improves mobility in neck and shoulders • balances energy

Margery Smith 707.578.9642 Therapeutic Massage Center Boody Massage $55/hr

707.578.3088 THE BOHEMIAN

The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness Reading room, art gallery, prayer/ meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121

Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30–8:45pm Prayers for World Peace, Sun, 10:30–11:45am Everyone welcome. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North, Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

Santa Rosa Shambhala Meditation Center Free instruction and practice opportunities Tuesday 4:30-5:30 PM, Wednesday 7 PM, Sunday 10 AM - 11:15 AM. www.santarosa.shambhala.org

Share your organization’s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly!

Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

NOW OPEN

Total relaxation $50/hr John (707)-536-1516 Santa Rosa www.completebodybalance.com

12.30.09-01.05.10

Finding inspiration and connecting with your community

• relief from tension headaches, eyestrain, and sinusitis

Open 7 days 9-10pm

45

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS

(at Washington behind Wachovia Bank)

Foot Massage $19.99/45 min 2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa

Call the Bohemian NOW to advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com


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For the week of Dec. 30

Pet Services

ANIMAL LOVERS You can make a difference. People for Animal Liberation (PAL) in Sonoma County advocates for animals. More info email: jasminethevegan@yahoo.com

Place your

Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11am

pet related ad here today! Call 707.527.1200

$100

off

35 years training experience

Doggie Boot Camp or

3 private sessions for $200 (reg $240)

Guest on the Discovery Channel’s K-9 Cops for his expertise Obedience training the natural way

exp. 01/31/10

10 acres of safe, country training grounds Exceptional for aggression issues Strong leadership skills taught for owners

707-322-3272 www.incrediblecanine.com

WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa

Meet Tigger • Kitty of the Week COME MEET BABY TIGGER AND TAKE HIM HOME FOR THE NEW YEAR! This darling 3-year tabby has been with since July and we don't understand why! The teensiest little purr when he curls up against you and buries his head under your arm, he's just saying: “please love me!” When you meet him, you'll know why we love him so much and wish him the best for the holidays. Tolearnmore about adopting Tigger or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online. The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

Meet Patootie • Doggie of the Week

Meet Phoebe • Doggie of the Week

CAN YOU GIVE PATOOTIE A HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS? This adorable 10 year old Jack Russell sure deserves a forever, loving home. He's got a wonderful personality – very lively and terrierish and the looks that could get him in the movies; how could you resist that adorable face? To learn more about adopting Patootie or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

MEET PHOEBE! How can you resist this goofy, lovable face? Miss Phoebe is a lovely 2-year old Australian Shepherd mix (with the emphasis on the mix!!) who just loves to play and explore the world – she's full of energy (she's a shepherd, after all!) but needs to be your only canine companion. To learn more about adopting Phoebe or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

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E^hXZh '$&.Ä($'% I]Z e]^adhde]Zg C^ZiohX]Z hV^Y i]ZgZ lVh cd b^YYaZ \gdjcY/ ndj Z^i]Zg hV^Y nZh id a^[Z dg ndj hV^Y cd# Ndj Z^i]Zg XZaZWgViZY ndjg k^iVa^in! Zc_dnZY ndjg edlZg VcY i]g^kZY dc X]VaaZc\Zh! dg ZahZ ndj egVXi^XZY XdchiVci hZa["YZc^Va! ]ZbbZY ndjghZa[ ^c l^i] YZajYZY gVi^dcVa^oVi^dch VcY idgbZciZY ndjghZa[ l^i] ^cYZX^h^dc# >Éb cdi hd hjgZ ^iÉh ValVnh Vh XaZVg"Xji Vh i]Vi# L]^aZ >Éb jhjVaan ^c i]Z ÆnZh id a^[ZÇ XVbe!Ç >ÉkZ \dcZ i]gdj\] Æcd id a^[ZÇ e]VhZh! Vh lZaa Vh hdbZ ZmiZcYZY ÆbVnWZ id a^[ZÇ i^bZh# L]Vi VWdji ndj! E^hXZh4 L]ViZkZg ndjÉkZ YdcZ ^c i]Z eVhi! > ]deZ i]Vi ^c '%&% ndj l^aa iV`Z bVm^bjb VYkVciV\Z d[ i]Z Xdhb^X g]ni]bh! l]^X] l^aa WZ ZcXdjgV\^c\ ndj id \^kZ a^[Z V W^\! gZhdjcY^c\! dc\d^c\ N:H# In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. To buy access, go to www.realastrology.com. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888 or 1.900.950.7700.

THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

46


BOHEMIAN FLIPSIDE Happy Holidays The Bohemian wishes you a splendid holiday season and an uplifting New Year!

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.30.09-01.05.10

47


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