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02

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN


SERVICES FOR MEN Men only clinic

Locally Locally owned owned & & operated operated since since 1949 1949

Let TEEVAX

male provider & health educator Open Weds evenings 6–9pm

Design Your Kitchen & Bath Cabinets, Counters & Showers

call for Appointment

Made just for you.

• Condoms • Confidential HIV/Aids Testing and Counseling

Kitchen Remodel Estimate Let one of TeeVax’s designers lay out your new kitchen on our state of the art computer system. Joyce & Georgia will be happy to make the process as easy as possible.

TeeVax sells and installs

• Confidential Sexually Transmitted Disease Testing and Treatment • Physicals

Southwest Community Health Center

• Kitchen & bathroom cabinets • Countertops • Plumbing fixtures • Tub and shower surrounds • Appliances…and much more!

Year End Clearance Sale

Yes, it’s that time of year to clear out all our leftover appliances by marking them down as low as possible. From one-of-akinds, close-outs, overstock and display models, they all have to go. Ever since the first washer sold by TeeVax over 60 years ago by Monty Montague, TeeVax has always kept service our #1 priority by having the best employees possible to back up every product we sell. Great service and value always from your local family-owned Brand Source dealer since 19449.

751 Lombardi Court, Santa Rosa www.swhealthcenter.org

707.547.2222

24” Built-in Dishwasher

23” Side x Side Refrigerator

• Steam clean option • Stainless interior • Stainless exterior • Energy Star model • Tall tub • Similar to picture

• Water & ice dispenser • Cube & crush ice • Adjustable glass shelves • Only 33” wide • Limited bisque only

SALE PG&E/water mail-in rebates

Limited stainless only

54995 $ 5000

$

49995

$

Front Load Washer • • • • •

SALE

Model #FRS3HR5JQ

Front Load Washer & Dryer

3.8 cu.ft. capacity Stainless steel tub 1,000 RPM spin speed Energy Star Tier III model Limited white only SALE PG&E/water mail-in rebates

• • • • • •

64995 15000

$

49995

.com

Large 3.4 cu.ft. capacity 1,000 RPM spin speed Electric dryer Stack or side x side Energy Star qualified Limited white only

114995 $ 15000

$

SALE PG&E/water mail-in rebates

$

$

Model #WFMC2201UC

69995

$

Model #WFW8300SW/WED8300SW

Net After Rebates

New ideas, top brand names, exceptional customer service and great value; that’s what keeps our customers coming back year after year, since 1949.

Home Appliance & Kitchen Center

99995

$

Billion Dollar Buying Power

We build customer relationships that last for years because we put our customer’s desires before our own. We strive to offer the best service and products so our customers feel good about referring TeeVax to their family and friends.

Mon-Fri, 8:30 to 6:00, Sat 9:00 to 5:00, Sun 11:00 to 4:00 707-545-1195 In Historic Railroad Square • 422 Wilson Street • Santa Rosa • teevax.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

03


BEST BIG TRUCKS! MADE IN GERMANY

FREE construction

helmet with purchase (while supplies last)

The largest locally owned toy store in Santa Rosa & Sebastopol

• OVER 15,000 DIFFERENT ITEMS • Committed for over 32 years to bringing the best to Sonoma County!

04

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Sebastopol

Santa Rosa

Santa Rosa

On the Plaza 6940 Sebastopol Ave

531 College Ave (1 block east of Mendocino)

Pier 1 Center 2724 Santa Rosa Ave

707-829-2003

707-526-2099

707-576-8609


Artful Jewelry and Craftwork Representing Local, National and International Artists Fair Trade Gems - Conict Free Diamonds - Eco Gold Unique Affordable Jewelry Creations

Come in and enter to win a pair of .50ct tw diamond stud earrings. *Winner announced Dec 24th

350 Coddingtown Mall, Santa Rosa

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707-575-5700 Mon-Sat 9:00am-10:00pm â&#x20AC;˘ Sun 9:00am-9:00pm

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BIRDFOOD â&#x20AC;˘ FEEDERS â&#x20AC;˘ GARDEN ACCENTS â&#x20AC;˘ UNIQUE GIFTS

71BrookwoodAve.,SantaRosa,CA95404 (707)576-0861â&#x20AC;˘www.wbu.com/santarosa Monday-Saturday10am-6pm Sunday11am-4pm THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

05


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I would like to write to support Michael Carnacchiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stand against the predatory practices of credit card companies (â&#x20AC;&#x153;David and Two Goliaths,â&#x20AC;? Dec. 16). Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had two recent run-ins with GE Money. I believe that this company does not send out statements letting their customers know when a payment is due. The only correspondence I received from them was when my account was â&#x20AC;&#x153;delinquentâ&#x20AC;? and, of course, that meant penalties and over 30 percent interest rate charges. I respect what Michael is doing and would like to do what I can to help him fight his battle. I believe we have a financial mafia in this country, and think his battle is our own.

Having been on the front lines battling Monsanto and its transgenic creations on the island of Maui, I enjoyed the recent installation of Green Zone (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Monsanto at the Coffee House,â&#x20AC;? Dec. 9). Hawaii is known to have more genetically modified experimental crops per acre than any other state in the nation. While confronting the pro-Monsanto Ph.D.s in the local printed media, I had the odd fortune of meeting two of them personally. The first was a GMO forerunner from Canada, who has built his reputation upon the platitudes of transgenic experimentation. He gave a seemingly sincere and earnest talk about how GMO droughtresistant seeds could â&#x20AC;&#x153;feed the world.â&#x20AC;? I countered that technology has never been the obstacle to feeding the world. I suggested that at any time in history the human race has had the ability to cultivate, cooperate and share food supplies

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when needed. Lack of will, not the way, has been our problem. He offered no retort. The second Ph.D. I met at a debate sponsored by a local community organization. With the knowledge that Monsanto intentionally creates genomes that assume dominance when crosspollinating with indigenous varieties, I asked my opponent the simple question, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it bother you as a scientist to support such an aggressive technology?â&#x20AC;? His simple answer: â&#x20AC;&#x153;No.â&#x20AC;? Monsanto is convinced of its self-appointed manifest destiny of biological imperialism. Twenty years ago, they lobbied our federal government to create laws to protect their technological intrusion upon the natural world. Predatory capitalism is their creed, control is their greed.

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<>A470=3HC8?B Your headline of Dec. 16, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Goy to the World,â&#x20AC;? makes no sense. If Santa is Jewish, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jew to the Worldâ&#x20AC;? would be more accurate. And regarding â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stuck Between Yes and No on Words Ending in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ola,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? what about: NOLAâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;New Orleans, La. mola molaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the ocean sunfish Victrolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;like music? Osceolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Seminole leader Angolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;prison that produced much good music Holaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;hello Loyolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;respectable institution of higher learning Lolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whatever she wants, she gets gladiolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;nice plant Crayolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;kids like â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em Gorgonzolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;flavorful cheese granolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for the muffins schnozzolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;nice beak gondolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a little romance Emile Zolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;French writer payolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;so thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why we got sorry music Frankie â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sweet Musicâ&#x20AC;? Violaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;helluva pitcher Pensacolaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Florida, but the waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s warm

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06

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN




news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Official Newspaper of the Coming of the Lightâ&#x20AC;?

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D=B?>:4= While everyone is concerned about children denied library access, no one is speaking about the legion of homeless who depend on the facility each day.

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Library budget cuts prompt debate over their necessity By Leilani Clark

0

s the place where people gain information, skills and inspiration for free, libraries are essential to the functioning of a truly democratic society. But as stated on signs recently placed around Sonoma County Library branches, the library is â&#x20AC;&#x153;free to use, but not free to operate.â&#x20AC;? On Dec. 24, a large segment of the North Bay community will lose access to local branches for 10 days, as the county library system begins a block closure running through Jan. 3. All services will be shut down, including online catalogue access and internet access as well as fee and materials collection. Some 2.6 million people across the county visited their local libraries last year. For patrons who depend on the libraries for the internet, job search data, general

entertainment and study needs, 10 days is a long time to be out in the cold. How did it get so bad? According to library director Sandy Cooper, difficult decisions had to be made after a $1.7 million budget shortfall. With the fall in home values across the county, the Sonoma County Library System, which gets 90 percent of its income from property taxes, was forced to cut its operating budget. The entire staff accepted a 5 percent pay cut, and nine employees have agreed to take early retirement, but even those budget cuts are not enough to close the gap. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was the best way to handle the situation, to quickly save the money without really having a long-term impact on programs and staffing,â&#x20AC;? Cooper says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have no idea how long these hard times are going to go on, and our goal is to maintain the staff and the library service at the highest

levels we can so that when we come out of it, we can hit the ground running and continue to provide the best service we can.â&#x20AC;? Library decision-makers are currently waiting â&#x20AC;&#x153;on pins and needles,â&#x20AC;? according to Cooper, for next yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s property tax income projections, due from the County Assessorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Office in January 2010. Margaret Lynch, chair of the Library Commissionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the entity that makes the fiduciary decisionsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;says that the block closing is the result of a â&#x20AC;&#x153;contorted and ineffective structure for libraries.â&#x20AC;? Lynch claims that the library is not generously funded to start with, so they were particularly affected by the drop in property tax income. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to close, but certainly something eventually has to be done about the tax structure in the state of California if we are going to continue to have services, i.e. libraries, schools, etc.,â&#x20AC;? says Lynch. &&

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

07


est of Belgium B e h T

Supreme Quality and Worth!

25% Off all retail for last minute gifts

Brazilian Waxing • • • •

fast (30 min) licensed & professional clean & sanitary affordable ($35)

Lowest Price in Town! “Always Professional, Always Affordable”

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN

! Full Service Dentistry ! 21 Years in Practice ! Cosmetic Dentistry ! Warm environment with knowledgable staff ! All ages welcome!

Rose Lucchese DDS

Touchstone Therapies

568 Petaluma Ave Sebastopol

882 2nd Street, Santa Rosa www.touchstonespatherapies.com

707-829-0692

707.331.0631

08

Feel at Home with Your Dentist!


<=2; :60

Register Early! www.santarosa.edu/portal/

Ÿ3½8bU^a3^8c CHANGE

Fighting the flu this winter is simple: Take vitamin D By Lauren Ayers

A

ecent studies show that vitamin D helps prevent flu. This information is so new that it will be some years before California and federal publichealth agencies such as the Centers for Disease Control are able to alert the public that D is crucial for immunity. Emory University scientists recently examined the research and concluded that D not only prevents but, in fact, treats flu. And the November 2009 Harvard Heart Letter says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Having enough D in circulation can help the body fight off the flu, tuberculosis and infections of the upper respiratory tract.â&#x20AC;? Unfortunately, only three out of 10 American children have enough D to use this immunity. Worse, only two out of 10 Latino children and only one out of 10 African-American children studied have adequate D, because melanin in the skin blocks the sunlight that makes the stuff. Vitamin D is needed by every cell in the body, and is actually not a vitamin but a hormone. Here is a list of health problems which research finds related to D deficiency: acne, asthma, arthritis, cancer, diabetes, fibromyalgia, heart disease, high blood pressure, MS, muscle weakness, obesity, osteoporosis, TB, ADD, autism, depression, schizophrenia, Alzheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Parkinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shocking: in just 10 years, the average blood-serum level of D in Americans went from low to lower; that is, from 30 to 24 nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL). For comparison, Kaiser Permanente aims for blood levels from 40 to 70 ng/mL. Farmers and lifeguards are the gold standard, because they make D from sunlight and typically have 100 ng/mL. The American College of Nutrition advises 5,000 International Units (IU) of D a day for adults, and in the Medical Journal of Clinical Nutrition, Dr. C. L. Wagner advises 6,4000 IU for nursing mothers. In order to get 2,000 IU per day simply from food you would need to eat six servings of salmon, or 10 servings of tuna or drink 20 glasses of fortified milk. All of these are all much higher than the out-of-date FDA standard of only 200 IU a day for children and adults that makes no allowance for age, weight, fish consumption, sun exposure or melanin level in the skin. School food only provides 100 to 200 IU

a day because it is based on the one-size-fits-all FDA standards. Therefore, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up to parents to ensure that their children get enough D. Keep in mind that vitamin D3 is more effective than vitamin D2. Vitamin D3 is made from fish liver oil, or lanolin. Lanolin has no fishy taste; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually a powder inside a capsule. Parents can pull apart the capsule and mix the powder into food. Note that D supplementation calls for sufficient dietary calcium, magnesium and other minerals. Anyone with liver or kidney disease, or sarcoidosis, needs medical supervision. If you want to know your or your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s current blood level of D, the 25-OHD test will tell you. This reliable $40 home â&#x20AC;&#x153;blood spotâ&#x20AC;? D test hurts no more than pulling a splinter. Go to GrassrootsHealth.net, click on â&#x20AC;&#x153;D-Action,â&#x20AC;? and scroll down to the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Join Nowâ&#x20AC;? button. This is a five-year study, but you can buy just one test. Results are sent by email. Why are so many people deficient? Modern life. Americans eat less fish than ever, work and play inside more than ever, use sunscreen, weigh more (excess body fat sequesters D), and no longer use supplements like cod liver oil. Plus, we cannot make D during the winter because the sunâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ultraviolet B rays travel at an oblique angle, a longer path that means the UVB rays are absorbed before reaching us. In spring, summer and fall, when the sun is directly overhead, a pale person wearing a bathing suit can make as much as 20,000 IU of D in 20 minutes. People with more melanin make less, and need more time in the sun. We can store D in our bodies, but by January or February most people have used up what they stored, which is among the reasons why that is called the flu â&#x20AC;&#x153;season.â&#x20AC;? New evidence suggests that this need not be a necessary evil if you commit to giving yourself and your family enough D.

Vitamin D is needed by every cell in the body and is actually not a vitamin but a hormone.

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Retired from teaching, Sonoma Valley resident Lauren Ayers now has more time to work for better school cafeteria food, see GoodSchoolFood.org. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

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She says that the closure of the library is painful all the way around, for patrons and staff. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not only the county libraries that are suffering as a result of the recession. On Jan. 13, the Santa Rosa City School Board will announce whether to eliminate seven teacher-librarian positions in order to cut $5.6 million from next yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s budget. Santa Rosa City School Board member Tad Wakefield advocates cutting the teacherlibrarian positions if it means that class sizes will not be increased. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know it upsets people who love books and libraries, as I do, yet it is a greater disservice to our 15,000 kids to jack up their class sizes to unconscionable levels before sending seven teacher-librarians back to the classroom where they can still serve our kids in an effective, albeit significantly different, way,â&#x20AC;? Wakefield argues.

Donations to the Public Library Foundation can be made at any branch.

Connie Williams, past president of the California School Library Association, says that students need access to the information and technology available in libraries in order to succeed in the 21st century. Williams believes that kids who read well do better not only in school, but throughout life. It is the teacher librarian who often puts those books into the kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hands. Williams says that with cuts to both school and county libraries looming, those from disadvantaged circumstances, who cannot just drop by a bookstore to pick up a new book, will be the ones who are deprived. â&#x20AC;&#x153;School libraries are funded by school districts, and public libraries are funded through a different set of funding sources,â&#x20AC;? Williams explains. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The two donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really have anything to do with each other fiscally, but what happensâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in having the county libraries shut down over the break, for example, and taking away from the school librariesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;means that there are children who have no access whatsoever to books.â&#x20AC;? People who would like to support strapped county and school libraries do have options. Donations to the Public Library Foundation can be made at any branch, and new members of local library â&#x20AC;&#x153;friendsâ&#x20AC;? groups are always welcome. To learn more about the proposed cuts to Santa Rosa City Schools libraries, the school board meetings are open to all. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You close the school libraries, and then sometimes the city library is the fallback,â&#x20AC;? Williams says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The two are different animals, but if you close one door and then you close another, then all of our populationâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; whether rich or poorâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have access. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We want to keep it open for everyone.â&#x20AC;?

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2

hristmas Eve in Copenhagen. Shivering in the icy winds from far off the Baltic Sea, cub reporter Sally Smart scuttles miserably down Amager Boulevard, bits of ice edging her eyelids. No one from back home would have recognized the slim reporter from The Weekly Planet newspaper, now resembling a sidewalk dirigible in a down overcoat, massive woolen hat and gloves. She might have passed for the awkward heroine from Bridget Jonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Diary but for her utter lack of pluck and Colin Firth. â&#x20AC;&#x153;No,â&#x20AC;? Sally tells herself, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not going to get a date in the land of Vikings any more than Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to get a story.â&#x20AC;? She kicks at some ice. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh, why did I do it?â&#x20AC;? Sally asks herself again, upset that she had let her mother book her f light to Denmark. Sallyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nonrefundable f light arrived the week after the event. Sally knows math professors canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand calendars, a n d h e r m o t h e r â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clueless attempts at consoling her made it worse. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cop enhagen will be so much nicer without those crowds,â&#x20AC;? Professor S m a r t h a d s a i d . â&#x20AC;&#x153; Yo u can see a lot more without demonstrators blo cking the scenery, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure those bells would have given you a headache.â&#x20AC;? Sally had burst into tears at the mention of the bells. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What?â&#x20AC;? The professor was often perplexed by displays of emotion. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Did I say something wrong?â&#x20AC;? Sally had hoped to be there, standing in the middle of the city when hundreds of old church bells rang 350 times for a sustainable climate, once for each particle per million of allowable carbon. Something of a romantic, Sally believed the resonance of bells would make everyone feel all Kumbaya and willing to do the right thingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;to make serious and binding carbon-reduction goals, and give money to poorer countries to help implement right climate actions. Just 22 and fresh out of journalism school, Sally wanted something beautiful to report about the not-so-beautiful conference. But she missed it entirelyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;missed the bells and the excitement, the massive demonstrations

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and arrests, the near-collapse of negotiations, the meeting of over a hundred world leaders and their wimpy accord. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Maybe I can write a travel piece,â&#x20AC;? she pondered feebly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Maybe something about the food?â&#x20AC;? She thinks instead about what might happen now that COP-15 is over. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If this accord is all we have,â&#x20AC;? she reasons, â&#x20AC;&#x153;will half a million innocent people die in developing nations a few decades from now because of what we consume in the United States? If everyone gives up, will that tiny island nation drown, will we have a 7 degree Celsius increase in the middle of North America, will the Sierras stop delivering the right amount of water, will the food crops be ruined, will people starve, and will those weird diseases wipe out as many humans as predicted? Am I the only person left on Earth who still thinks these are important questions?â&#x20AC;? Sally tries to stop thinking about it. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas Eve,â&#x20AC;? she tells herself gloomily. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lighten up!â&#x20AC;? She decides to look for a cafe and celebrate alone over a pickled herring sandwich on Danish cracker bread. All of a sudden she hears faint music she recognizes: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Longfellow,â&#x20AC;? Sally says hopefully. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Henry Longfellow wrote the words to that song. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bit somber but ends well.â&#x20AC;? The notes grow distinct before a hotel built of pale stone. She pushes on the glass door and steps inside. There, a young man in jeans and turtleneck plays carols to a near empty lobby, singing in accented English. She looks at him. He looks at her. They smile. Suddenly Sally feels optimistic about the future of climate protection. Noticing that the cello case at his feet is adorned with climate-protection slogans in multiple languages, Sally pulls out her microrecorder, newly inspired. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The same church bells that rang in concert during COP-15 will soon ring in a Danish Christmas,â&#x20AC;? Sally whispers into the mike. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Meanwhile, a lone cellist plays carols in Copenhagen, the magical city of Hans Christian Andersen, where we are reminded that a heartfelt fantasyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;ecojustice on a cool earthâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is always worth hoping for.â&#x20AC;?




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2^ccdaP3T[[P5P\XV[XP Sundays in the kitchen with Food Not Bombs, a love story By Dani Burlison

B

everal large plastic bags filled with French loaves, polenta rounds and garlic sourdough are stacked on my front porch most Sunday mornings. On a lucky day, a few paper grocery bags bursting with apple pies, tiramisu and boxed cookies accompany them. If the gods are smiling on me, my daughters are still asleep while I mosey around in my pajamas and geeky lavender slippers sipping tea, Tin Hat Trio on the stereo, Nag Champa wafting through the air. At some point, I set down my chipped tea mug and clean the kitchen before the Food Not Bombs cooks, due to arrive in the early afternoon, stumble into my disheveled home. The national Food Not Bombs movement has evolved over the years and through the changing times like any grassroots organization. Founded in 1980 by antinuclear activists in Cambridge, Mass., Food Not Bombs established

itself as a direct-action group with the agenda of sharing food and information with people in public spaces without permits and without hierarchical organization. The group focuses on the preparation of mostly vegan and always vegetarian food to instill a further sense of nonviolence; no animals need to be killed in order for diners to fill their bellies. With chapters now branching out across the globe, peace-minded folks everywhere gather in private kitchens to save visually unappealing but perfectly safe and healthy produce from compost piles and dumpsters, creating meals for hungry and less fortunate community members. In a country that wastes ungodly amounts of money on preparing for and recovering from wars while hungry people walk the streets, it is absurd to Food Not Bombs groups that so much perfectly edible food would be thrown out. The North Bay Food Not Bombs movement began with humble, short-lived efforts during the first Gulf War and was reborn in the late 1990s

at the height of the local Police Accountability and Earth First! movements. Bagels with hummus, along with hearty soups and modest salads, were served on Sunday afternoons in Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Courthouse Square while budding revolutionaries gathered to analyze the latest mass media news, organized actions at Headwaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Forest in Humboldt County or recapped the highlights of recent punk and hip-hop shows. These days, as word of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are accompanied by the healthcare debate and immigration issues, the conversations are tinted with a sense of overwhelm, yet focus more on local, sustainable remedies for the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nightmarish problems. I feel eternally indebted to Food Not Bombs, and so have offered my tiny Santa Rosa kitchen as a community cooking site on countless Sundays for over six years. After leaving an unhealthy relationship in 2002, I found myself homeless with two little girls, then ages two and six, in tow. With no nearby family and a bank &* THE BOHEMIAN

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account gutted by my drug-addicted ex, the only place I knew I could turn for food and support was the Food Not Bombs House, which was then located on South E Street in Santa Rosa. This is where my daughters learned to cook and began to understand the value and importance of community. I spent Sundays tearing bread apart for stuffing, slicing onions until my eyes nearly bled and talking smack about racist cops, the pending war in Iraq and the latest gossip about which Earth First! activist was sleeping with which bassplaying punk rocker and who had sold out by dating a corporate accountant. Now in my own home across town, I never know who or what to expect as I hear that first knock on the door each Sunday around 2pm. Some days, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a group of young SRJC students, grasping banjos, Foucault tucked under arms, just starving for talk of revolution. Other days, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a neighbor and his children who come to cook with me as we share parental anecdotes and laugh over our backyard chickens. In one sense, I have grown from a young and eager revolutionary to being a pseudo-historian, weaving my radical opinions and personal experiences into stories that are shared while slicing zucchini or opening a gazillion cans of tomato sauce for a very creative minestrone soup. Quite often, the produce is the last element to make an appearance. This is usually a result of poor communication on the FNB listserv. Some sweet soulâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; whoever has a carâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is enlisted to dart across town to Community Market and snatch the crates of produce they have so kindly saved for us. Upon return, the driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s efforts are met with excitement or amusement. What exactly does one do with eight pounds of okra, 16 cucumbers and two crates of browning romaine? Or what happens when some well-meaning farmer donates 20 cases of rotting corn? The romaine is stripped to its core while the corn is picked through and the remaining, bug-infested ears are buried in the backyard. Sure, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Food Not Bombs handbook that can help guide cooks through food salvaging and preparation, but after nearly two decades of FNB volunteers whipping up and serving food to hungry mouths in Sonoma County, recipes have been passed down through the generations of activists much like elder Italian women share kitchen wisdom with grandchildren. Each time the cooking changes locations, a new seasoning is discovered. At my house, the rosemary stuffing would be accompanied by curried mashed potatoes. Across town, the potatoes are heavy with fresh garlic and the stuffing is covered with onion salt.

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n a recent Sunday, the lucky hens cluck gleefully at the wilted dinosaur kale weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tossed to them and we roll up our sleeves and get to work. The CD has been switched over to a mix of the Coup and Animal Collective as laughter and steam intermingle in my overcrowded, tiny cooking

space; mushroom stems are scattered over the table, squishy tomatoes leak juice down cutting boards and across countertops. As always, we focus on basics, lucky to have purchased an obscene amount of organic brown rice from the Redwood Empire Food Bank that will serve as a filler for the soup weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got boiling away on the stovetop. A young, barefoot volunteer pulls some goji berries and kombucha from his knapsack and offers them to me, insisting that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll help with my fatigue while I peel potatoes into the sink. Our conversation has turned from seasoning recommendations and disappointment with Obama to a discussion of herbal remedies, Vipassana meditation retreats and the therapeutic use of psychedelics. An always chipper and hip female artist in the group suggests we watch a movie while the pots cook away in the oven, and we move from the kitchen to watch Letter to the President, a documentary about the birth of rap music. We wrap up in blankets with an almost Thanksgiving-like smell in the air and let the film unfold.

What exactly does one do with eight pounds of okra, 16 cucumbers and two crates of browning romaine?

After the film ends, the other cooks help me sweep my filthy f loor and load the pots, pans and serving utensils into the truck parked out front. We say our goodbyes. They are headed to serve the food in Courthouse Square, as they do every Sunday evening, and I am headed back into my pajamas to call it a night. After years of involvement, I have decided to reclaim Sundays for myself. The Santa Rosa Food Not Bombs food prep is moving on from the warm confines of my humble home and into its next incarnation with a new generation of energetic and dedicated activists. I make some tea and sit at the table in my now-quiet kitchen. I think about how this room has been occupied by punks, hippies, school teachers, artists, parents, neighborhood kids, students, musicians, doctors, athletes, carpenters and everyone in between for years while my daughters thrived among them. I think about all that we have learned from them and the FNB movement. They may not be the feisty Italian grandmothers I might have longed for, but they are certainly my family. THE BOHEMIAN

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7>;830H<40;B ust hear those sleigh bells ringing and bill collectors calling, too. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not such lovely weather to be broke and depressed, poor you. It can be pretty darn tough to feel like walking in a winter wonderland while pinching pennies and bargain shopping for holiday gifts this season. With unemployment rates climbing steadily up and increases in some utility rates looming on the horizon, free Christmas dinners are a crucial component for many North Bay families this winter. Thanks to the holiday spirit that thrives despite economic crises, free meals abound so that pennies are stretched further and no one has to spend Christmas alone or hungry.

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The Sonoma Community Center (276 E. Napa St., Sonoma; 707.938.4626) serves up Christmas dinner from 3pm to 6pm on Friday, Dec. 25, with help from the Faith Presbyterian Church. According to event manager Toni Castrone, diners should plan to arrive at least half an hour early, as there is often a line to get into this annual free dinner, which is made possible by contributions from local businesses. Pies or other treats are graciously welcomed for the desert table, as are monetary donations that beneďŹ t the community centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arts and education programs. Also in Sonoma County is the annual Christmas dinner in Guerneville at the Veterans Memorial Building (First and Church Streets, Guerneville; 707.565.2041). The meal, which is served from 1pm to 4pm, became an annual event after being established in 1982. With well over 500 bellies ďŹ lled each year, volunteers are urged to call 707.869.0660 to lend a hand and help with festivities. Over in the valley, the Table at First Presbyterian Church in Napa (1333 Third St., Room 23; 707.224.8693) will dish out platefuls to the hungry on Christmas Day, Dec. 25, from noon to 2pm. And ďŹ nally, Marin County does it up big once again at St. Vincent de Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dining room (820 B St., San Rafael; 415.454.3303). Following a visit from Santa and holiday carolers on Christmas Eve from 10:45am to 12:30pm, a Christmas feast will be served on Friday, Dec. 25, from 2:30pm until 5:30pm. The hot meal is accompanied by live music and provides buses to local church services at 5:30pm. Happy holidays to all! Dani Burlison

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

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22

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN



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ast-minute cheapo champers shoppers, we know youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re out there. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been there, too: lurching down the liquor store aisle at 11pm, cruising the bottom shelf for any old bubbly and calling it Champagne. All you require is that it goes â&#x20AC;&#x153;popâ&#x20AC;? (after being shaken up in direct contradiction to the idiot warning on the label that is only supplied with sparkling wine of this caliber). Half of it will douse a person in front of you whom you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even know, and the whole point anyway is to smooch someone in your immediate vicinityâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; maybe even that wet, sticky person in front of you. Or perhaps you just want an economical glass of celebration after an energetic evening of Scrabble while watching the ball drop on TVâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;oh, yes, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been there too. But when spending $7 or less, why not get, you know, the good stuffâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or at least as good as you can get? Who knows what sparks may ďŹ&#x201A;y after midnight. It wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be the ďŹ rst time that a great love, however ďŹ&#x201A;eeting, was found at the bottom of a bottle of Cookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. So I gathered seven experts in the ďŹ eld of social drinking to assess a selection of usual suspects from the bottom shelf. Wines were blind-tasted, scored and a ringer was thrown in as a sort of control. Prices are approximateâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;these are from Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bottle Barnâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the results were surprising. 1. Cristalino Brut Cava ($6.49) One of two samples produced mĂŠthode champenoise, the Cristalino prompted one wag to question whether Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d sneaked a good French Champagne into the mixâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;ha ha. Noted for musky cologne or yeasty aroma, it had good bubbles, a dry, citrusy palate and was praised for its â&#x20AC;&#x153;drinkability,â&#x20AC;? also an attribute of a nationally distributed beer. 2. Cookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brut California Champagne ($6.59) Cookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s has come a long way. While the most frequently noted ďŹ&#x201A;avor was berrylike, this off-dry sparkler, with aromas of dusted bowl, honey and tropical fruit, was called a crowd-pleaser and one taster guessed it to be Prosecco. But hey, didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t this used to cost $2.99?

3. MoĂŤt & Chandon Imperial ($34.99) Yup, the ringer. A mid-priced (or entry-level, depending on your perspective) authentic French Champagne, and the successor to MoĂŤt & Chandonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s popular but abruptly discontinued White Star, this placed third. After Cookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. The popular take on it was that it was â&#x20AC;&#x153;like the last one [Cristalino], but fartier,â&#x20AC;? with opinions improving a few minutes out. Honeysuckle aromas and papayapineapple ďŹ&#x201A;avors took this import a little too far on the sweet side for most, although its creamy, nutty ďŹ nish was judged . . . â&#x20AC;&#x153;Champagne-like.â&#x20AC;? 4. AndrĂŠ Brut California Champagne ($3.29) Clean, peachy and sweet with a hint of kiwi, the AndrĂŠ was nowhere nearly as roundly dismissed as it might have been had it been announced as such. 5. Barefoot Bubbly Brut CuvĂŠe ($6.99) Coming in close after the AndrĂŠ, the Barefoot was nice and dry, with aggressive effervescence and a palate of dry apple ciderâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; Strongbow, anyone? Some thought the ďŹ nish a bit hot. 6. J. RogĂŠt Brut California Champagne ($2.99) No surprise here. Not horrible: ďŹ&#x201A;avors of apple fritter and Fresca, but cloying, and the bubbles spent themselves fast. You, um, might want to skip this one. Happy New Year!

James Knight


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6>=46060 We just wanted to see how many photos of women in platinum wigs we could get into this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue.

6X\\TCfT]chCT] In celebration of all the many ways to slam the door shut on this weird-ass decade By Gretchen Giles and Gabe Meline

6

oodbye MySpace, goodbye Lost, goodbye Texas cowboys and (hopefully) goodbye Uggs. Goodbye, aughts! The decade that Time magazine dubbed â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Decade from Hellâ&#x20AC;? gives us every reason to don the ditzy hat, blow the stupid horn and kiss a bazillion boozy farewells to this oftentimes maddening decade. Can you believe that just 10 years ago our biggest fear was the Y2K scare? A lot has changed, party animals. Yet some things remain constant, which brings us immediately to Tommy Castro and his fretboard-shreddinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, slicked-hair, perpetually grinninâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and gettinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;-down-and-bluesinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;-it-up style that guarantees a boogie-down set at the Mystic Theatre. With Champagne and balloon drop, Castroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s $50 New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show is perfect party fodder. Opener Jeffrey Halford and the Healers get things moving, then itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all Tommy all the time with laughinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, twistinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, shakinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and more dropped gâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s than a Sarah Palin speech.

For a younger crowd, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to beat DJs Zeph and Azeem at the Hopmonk Tavern, both San Francisco legends who cross styles on the crossfader and whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be playing with a full live band. Add fellow beat addict Romanowski to the bill, plus the Mystic Beat Lounge taking over the beer garden with more DJs, plus fire dancers, live artists, masseuses, video mashups and more, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to pass up. Bonus: the first 200 tickets are just $20, going up to $25 and $30. Meanwhile, just across the alley, the deal of the decade is the one-night return of DJs Jacques & Guacamole spinning dancehall, funk and hip-hop at Jasper Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Farrells for only $5. Seriously! $5! Lady Gaga might not be appearing locally, but her fanbase should be heavily repped at the Hilton Golden Ballroom in Santa Rosa for Sapphire, â&#x20AC;&#x153;a party for queer girlz and boyz.â&#x20AC;? Elegant, swanky and formal are the dress requests, so dang, that means Gagaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weird gold bondage getups are out. However, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just $20 and â&#x20AC;&#x153;plentiful seatingâ&#x20AC;? is promised! Not that

anyone will need itâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with double DJs rockinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the double decks, the dance f loor should be bumping hard. Camera possession quadrupled over the last decade, and with it the idea that everyone is a star. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Photographers on handâ&#x20AC;? is a selling point at the Casbarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s GLAM LGBT New Yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; bash in Santa Rosa, where a mere $10 gets the bubbly, the balloons, the bad, buttery boys and the besmirchment. See yourself on the internet the next day! While serious partiers scoff at New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve as â&#x20AC;&#x153;amateur night,â&#x20AC;? the Society of Professional Singles take love, at least, seriously, hosting their annual North Bay Singlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Bash at San Rafaelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Embassy Suites Hotel. This is a dressy dance party replete with silly hats for only $20. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll lend you the money if thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what it takes to help you start the New Year with a smile. For those who like their NYE to be wild, Safari West quite literally offers a chance. The ultimate treat is to stay the night in one of their luxe Out of Africa â&#x20AC;&#x153;tents,â&#x20AC;? ') THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

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which are actually platform tree houses with full accoutrements covered in stout duck canvas, and are utterly magical. Guests awaken to the sounds of exotic wild animals awakening, their roars and squawks and odd cradle-of-civilization sounds utterly satisfying and nearly frightening in the dim morning light. Those opting to sleep at home are nonetheless well served, as Safari West has a stellar kitchen operation and welltrained staff who host guests in impeccable style near the aviary and giraffes. Tickets for the party include dinner, dancing and toasts for $100, and absolutely will not be sold at the door; advance reservation only. The strange number $499.01 provides two adults not only with the nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s revelry but also lodging, a mimosa-soaked breakfast and a tour of the property the next day. For those uninterested in staying up until midnight, violinist Nigel Armstrong fits the classical bill with pianist Miles Graber in a program of Beethoven, Brahms, Ravel and Schubert, performed in the high-ceilinged confines of the Petaluma Historical Museum and Library. Spend your $12â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$20, take in the quietude, and get home to bed. Likewise, over at the Napa Valley Opera House, pianist extraordinaire Marvin Hamlisch bangs out ragtime classics and soundtrack originals for the early-to-bed crowd. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to join the afterparty downstairs for the big countdown? You get a $70 break on tickets! The show: $95. Show and party: $165. Meanwhile, the iron horse that would like you and Sen. McCain to know that it did not-not-not-not-not-not seek nor spend $54 million in federal stimulus money hosts a flapper-era 1920s-style bash with everything Scott and Zelda might expect except servants and Parisian fountains. Featuring live music by Casino Royale, plenty of good dead grape and dancing until 1am, tickets have gone fast to this upscale event; the $225 per person dinner-plus option is already soldout. Those wishing a late-night dance on a romantic train can still opt in for just $55 per, beginning an elegant part of the evening at 10pm on the Napa Valley Wine Train. For those who prefer that their parties not actually move beneath them, Domain Chandon hosts its annual Glitter Ball. Dinner seating is already sold-out, but the Lounge party following restaurant service still beckons, with dancing until 1am and plenty of bubbly for $75. In Sebastopol, the indefatigable Mr. Music hosts a night at the Sebastopol Community Center with Frobeck, Uncle Wiggly, Teresa Tudury, drum circles, choirs and more for $15â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$30. Forget fireworksâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sebastopudlian pagans and goddesses get the juices f lowing with a â&#x20AC;&#x153;peaceful gong ceremonyâ&#x20AC;? at the stroke of midnight. Down at the Mill Valley Masonic, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Curtis Campbell, billed as â&#x20AC;&#x153;the only Navy Seal to come out of Marin,â&#x20AC;? playing for $35â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$45. We hear he plays a mean

harmonica and sings the blues, too, backed by an â&#x20AC;&#x153;all-star bandâ&#x20AC;? of people weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never heard of. But, hey! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve all played with every Marin County SantanaHueyScaggsChamplinMahalRaitt rock icon you can think of except Commander Cody . . . Wait! Reedman Brad Jenkins, who actually played with Commander Cody, honks the Auld Lang Syne with Lansdale Station at 19 Broadway, with the Hold Outs and Diamond Ortiz! Ladies are $10 before 10pm; $20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$25 otherwise. Whew, close one.

Down at the Mill Valley Masonic, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Curtis Campbell, billed as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;the only Navy Seal to come out of Marin.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Fartherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;much fartherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;to the north, the Gualala Arts Center hosts a fairly yowza year-end party, having lured Grammy-winning R&B artist Jackie Payne to their strand by the sea. They call it the Bones Roadhouse in honor of the juke joint that burned down this fall but aims to resurrect in February. The night features a sushi bar, finger foods, cabaret seating, two bars and one heck of a great grownup time. Guest guitarist Pat Wilder joins the band, and locals Mendo Rhythm and Swing start the night off at 7:30pm. The whole dealâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just $45 and is a great reason to spend the New Year at the beach. Mere days before war criminal Condoleezza Rice goes blah-blah-blah at the Marin Center, the venue hosts scathing satirist Lewis Black in its main auditorium and the San Francisco Comedy Competition in the Showcase Theater. The comedy competition is officially over for the year, so four comics who honed their chops on its rather grueling tour stay limber by climbing back before the lights, while Black, who rarely meets anything he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just outright hate, offers a searing firestorm of invective. He starts at 8pm; the S.F. Comedy alumni at 9pm, and quickwitted ticket holders can probably make the best of both shows. In unrelated news, unless you like to imagine Condoleezza in a bare midriff, the 808 Band rocks the Russian River Brewing Co. in Santa Rosa with live, onstage belly dancing from the ladies of Wild Card Belly Dance. Plus itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s absolutely free! Which is roughly $710 billion cheaper than the cost of the war so far in Iraq. Happy New Year!


@A.42

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// Eric Burke and Jason Souza co-starred in a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Glengarryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that refused to gel.

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The five biggest stage disappointments of 2009 By David Templeton

0

ll across the culturally fecund North Bay over the course of a normal 52week year, hundreds of theatrical productions are conceived, greenlighted, rehearsed and presented by dozens of local theater companies. It is fortunate that our local theater scene boasts an enormous amount of talent and creativity. Rarely do I see a show that does not offer me some reason to be glad I showed up. In fact, the allaround quality of theater in the area has made me eternally expectant, always arriving on opening night with high expectations. This is a good thing. It is also, occasionally, a pain in the ass. Every once in a while, as it must be, my high expectations are met by disappointment, usually because I know how much better the cast, crew, director or people-who-pick-theshows could have been. This is based on my having seen first-hand the level of quality these theater folks are capable of and feeling let down when they occasionally do not live up to their past performances. With this in mind, I have compiled a short list of the five shows of 2009 that, for one reason or another, disappointed me the most. This is not a list of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;worstâ&#x20AC;? plays, only a description of those productions from which I expected a little moreâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and sometimes a whole lot more. 1. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;La Cage Aux Follesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Sixth Street Playhouse, which began the year with the outstanding comedy-drama The Scene, stumbled badly with its second show of 2009.

The February production of Jerry Hermanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beloved La Cage Aux Folles was the victim of behind-the-scenes struggles that resulted in director Joe Higginsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; departure from the show just two days before opening. Despite a strong, winning performance by Michael Van Why in the central role of professional transvestite Alban, the production ultimately showed little of the charm, glamour and joyfulness for which it is known. Perhaps the sense of gloom and heaviness, and the baffling undercurrents of darkness and danger were simply a reflection of the numerous artistic conflicts rumored to have troubled the show from the beginning, or perhaps the depressively eerie tone was merely a stylistic choice. Either way, compared to other productions of La Cage, a show that is usually crammed with light and laughter and love, this unfortunate aberration was easily the biggest letdown of the season. 2. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Doubt: A Parableâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; In the weeks and months after viewing them, some shows seem to swell and expand in oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind, becoming gradually greater and greater, while others only grow fainter, feebler and more transparent. Pacific Alliance Stage Companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s staging of John Patrick Shanleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doubt: A Parable, was one of the latter. Suffering from the kind of wildly uneven casting that plagued many of PASCOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s productions over the last few years, the elegantly conceived script was seriously hurt by the weak, unfocused acting of three of the four actors. As a priest accused of improper relations with a young boy, Michael Wiles was fine, but the rest of the cast all seemed as if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been

pulled from other showsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and other genres. Especially problematic was first-time actress Marilyn Waters in the extremely difficult, absolutely crucial role of the accused victimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother. Aside from the admirable guts Waters exhibited in taking so demanding a part with absolutely no previous stage experience, the roleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the playâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;deserved better, and the experience of Shanleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brilliant puzzle-box was kicked down a few notches as a result. 3. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Glengarry Glen Rossâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Casting was the culprit again in the Ross Valley Playersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; production of David Mametâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scathing Glengarry Glen Ross. This was especially tragic since the show, directed by Jim Dunn, one of the North Bayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very best directors, renowned for his work with the Mountain Play, boasted two of the best performances of the year. As disreputable real estate salesmen, Eric Burke and Richard Conti were superb. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast was so far removed in terms of experience and suitability that the show was mortally wounded, a little like serving frozen fish sticks alongside fresh wild salmon. Dunnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually impressive direction was oddly paired as well, setting Mametâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high-octane dialogue at a painfully drama-deflating pace. This could have been so goodâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and it almost was. 4. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cat on a Hot Tin Roof â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Santa Rosa Junior Collegeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual Summer Repertory Theatre series scored a couple of entertainment triumphs this year, notably its sly Barefoot in the Park and raucously rowdy Wedding Singer. As surprising as those successes were, the tepid presentation of Tennessee Williamsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; great Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was even more of a shock. Glacially paced by director James Newman, the show featured an appealingly wise and deeply felt performance by Tim Hayes as plantation owner Big Daddy, but the rest of the cast settled for looking their parts instead of acting the hell out of them, which is what Williamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s masterpiece requires. Add to that the bold but distracting casting of a black actress in the part of Maggie; director Newman obviously believed it could work, but I thought it was jarringly out of context, given the views on interracial marriages in the South at that time. Ultimately, it was the acting that did this production in. Cat is a script that rewards its actors, if they give are up to giving the twisted, soul-baring performances the story demands. Sadly, this cast wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t up to the challenge. 5. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Midsummer Nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dreamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Arguably the most interesting failure of the year was Sonoma County Repertory Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boldly experimental re-imagining of William Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Midsummer Nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dream. With an all-star cast, a live band playing the ethereal score and direction by the brilliant, untamed David Lear, this had the potential to be truly great theater. Instead, Lear threw so many ideas at the stage that the result was a bit of a visual and lineal mushpot. Apparently choosing to stage the show as if it were an actual dreamâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or perhaps a nightmareâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Lear made some wild choices: actresses thrashing about on the ground as if possessed; a Puck who changes character with each new scene; Rude Mechanicals dressed like the opening act for KISS; royals trapped in invisible branches. While the talented cast gave it their all, the end result was a Dream that, despite its brave and ballsy risks, ended up confusing, baffling and disappointingly flat.

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Bargain Tuesday - $7.50 All Shows Bargain $7.00 All Shows Schedule forTuesday Fri, Feb -20th â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thu, Feb 26th Schedule for Fri, June 22nd - Thu, June 28th Bargain Tuesday - $7.50 All Shows Academy Award Nominee Schedule for Fri, Dec 25th â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thu, Dec 31st Language Film! â&#x20AC;&#x153;RawBest andForeign Riveting!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Rolling Stone PLEASE NOTE: No Shows After 8:45p on New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve!

WALTZ WITH HEART BASHIR A MIGHTY

(1:00) for 3:00 5:00 9:15 RR Nominated 5 Golden Globes Including (12:30) 2:45 5:00 7:00 7:20 9:45 Best Picture,Award Best Actor Daniel Day 2 Academy Nomsâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Including BestLewis Actor!& Actress â&#x20AC;&#x201C;â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New Marion Cotillard! â&#x20AC;&#x153;ABest Triumph!â&#x20AC;? York Observer THE WRESTLER

NINE (12:20) 5:10 9:45 R LA2:45 VIE EN 7:30 ROSE (12:30 1:30) 3:15 9:45 4:15 PG-13 6:00 (12:45) 3:45 6:45

10 Academy Award Including Best Picture! 7:00 8:30 9:30Noms PG-13 On 2 Screens!

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE Golden Globe Nominee! Best Actress â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Emily Blunt â&#x20AC;&#x153;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x; â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Really, Truly, Deeply â&#x20AC;&#x201C; (1:15) 4:00 9:40 R One of This Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Ebert Newsday â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;ŤŰşŰşŰşŰşâ&#x20AC;Ź !â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7:10 Roger THE YOUNG VICTORIA ONCE 8 Academy Award Noms Including (12:20) 2:40 PG (1:00) 3:10 5:20 7:30 R Best Picture, Best5:00 Actor7:20 & Best9:40 Director!

Golden Globe MILKNominee Best Supporting Actor6:45 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Woody â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wise, Humble and Effortlessly Funny!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Newsweek (1:30) 4:10 9:30 RHarrelson

THEWAITRESS MESSENGER

Please Note: No 1:30 Show Sat, No 6:45 Show Thu

(12:35) 5:10 9:50 R â&#x20AC;&#x153;Played With FROST/NIXON Great Wit!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New York Times (1:30) 4:00 7:10 9:30 Best R Picture! 5 Academy Award Noms Including

ME AND ORSON (2:15) 7:20 R WELLES â&#x20AC;&#x153;Swoonly Romatic, Mysterious, Hilarious!â&#x20AC;? (12:10) 7:10Magazine 9:45 PG-13 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Slant REVOLUTIONARY ROAD 3 Golden Globe Nominations Including Best Picture! PARIS, JE Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;AIME (11:45) 4:45 9:50 R (1:15)PRECIOUS 4:15 7:00 9:30 R Kevin Jorgenson presents the California Premiere of (2:55) 7:30 R PURE: A BOULDERING Golden Globe Nominee! Best Actress â&#x20AC;&#x201C; FLICK Carey Mulligan Michael Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Thu, Feb 26th at 7:15 AN EDUCATION SICKO MOVIES IN THE PG-13 MORNING (2:30) 4:45

Starts Fri, June 29th! Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon Advance Tickets IN On Sale at Box OfďŹ ce! MOVIES THENow MORNING FROZENSat, RIVER (12:00) 2:30 Tue 5:00 7:30Mornings 10:009:50 AM Sun, Mon, & Wed 10:15 VICKY AND CRISTINA BARCELONA 10:00 AM AM JULIE JULIA 10:20 AM CHANGELING 10:00 AM AN EDUCATION Venessa Redgrave Meryl Streep Glenn CloseAM 10:40 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED 10:05 AM A SERIOUS MAN 10:10 AM AM 2009 LIVE ACTION SHORTS (Fri/Mon Only)) 10:45 PRECIOUS EVENING 10:45 10:30 AM AM THE LOCKER 2009HURT ANIMATED SHORTS Only) Starts Fri,(Sun June 29th!

Next week, David writes up his annual â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Top 10 Torn Tix,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; the favorite shows of 2009. THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

25


HAPPYNEWYEAR!

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â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Broken Embracesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; tells the story of AlmodĂłvarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love for cinema By Richard von Busack

0

sleek, twisty mystery, illuminated by the stunning PenĂŠlope Cruz, the new Pedro AlmodĂłvar is also a sprawler. The James M. Cainâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;style plot elements involve a blind film director from Madrid, most active in the 1990s (the balding but virile LluĂ­s Homar). After losing his sight, the filmmaker took the ballsy new name â&#x20AC;&#x153;Harry Caineâ&#x20AC;? and became a writer. Caine is doted on by Judit (Blanca Portillo), a mannish female assistant with whom he has some kind of past. News of the death of a corrupt tycoon sends Caine back to confront unfinished business, to retrieve the moment 16 years previously where he lost both love and sight. Broken Embracesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; well-engineered reveries over classic film are heightened by AlmodĂłvarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seriocomic additions. The dead tycoon in question, a cuckolded millionaire named Ernesto Martel (JosĂŠ Luis GĂłmez), is apparently modeled on Everett Sloan in The Lady from Shanghai. This dangerous man is a collector of pop art, and so his dining room is full of giant Warholesque canvases portraying rifles and guns. In a joke The Simpsons should steal for Mr. Burns, he has a framed portrait of one of his pet Dobermans on the window behind his desk. Martel is also the producer of the last film Caine made. And the wealthy man unwillingly shared the love of Caineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life,

26

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN



Lena, known as Magdalena, an actress, secretary and part-time prostitute, who took as her working-girl name Severine (a nod to Belle du Jour). She, of course, is played by PenĂŠlope Cruz. No one but AlmodĂłvar knows how to really make Cruz fascinating. She acts out a regular scene we used to see in â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s movies, an auditioning actress trying on wigs, and we get to see this womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s modes of glamour. Here is the frailty of Audrey Hepburn, the curves of Sophia Loren; in a turned-headed reveal, like that famous moment in Gilda, Cruz blazes the too-incandescent smile of Rita Hayworth. Capped with a tousled platinum wig, Cruz has something of Lana Turner in her mankiller parts. The spirits summoned up here arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t travestied; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worshipped. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s odd that Cruz can be so really astonishingly beautiful and at the same time so asymmetrical. The liquid eyes donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite match, and the nose and mouth are oversized for such a tiny face and chin. When she tilts her head forward, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a Picasso. This wigging sequence canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t explain Cruzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mystery; maybe it explains all the conventionally beautiful actresses who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have what she has. Do we feel for Lena? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all a bit too stylized for that. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s such an imago itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to think of her as a character, despite the moments of love, anger and regret Cruz acts out. In the press notes, AlmodĂłvar comments about the last shot before Broken Embracesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; coda. In it, a viewer reaches into the blurred, scrambled pixels of a video screen, trying to touch the untouchable past. AlmodĂłvar says this is his way of dealing with the new methods for film watching: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to be nostalgic. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m willing to embrace the new techniques.â&#x20AC;? But what this image says is that even if one possesses a good home video libraryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with some of the films cited here, copies of Vertigo, Blow Up, Peeping Tom or a bootleg of 1954â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Voyage in Italyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get you closer to the essential intangibility of cinema. A strangely feel-good ending recreates AlmodĂłvarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most internationally famous days in the 1980s. Having just hit age 60, the Spanish director seems to have gone valedictorian. Something comes along like Avatar or Transformers 2, and the world trumpets it as a new stage of cinema. If cinema means, in your estimation, something 90 minutes long with three-point lighting, starring a couple of actors hugging and kissing, and with a gold-wreathed lion roaring at the beginning, all that inescapable hype about the new is depressing. Imagine how depressed youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be if you were one dedicated classicist of a film director, and suddenly AlmodĂłvarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s act of raving cinephilia makes all the more sense. He doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to be completely losing himself in the past; he gives us some warm scenes of the enthusiasm of an old writer and a young writer brainstorming on the delightfully ridiculous plot for a modern vampire movie. But the way Broken Embraces splinters into such an array of memories, references and cul de sacs, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost post the postmodern. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Broken Embracesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; opens on Christmas Day at the Smith Rafael Film Center, 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.454.1222.


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Ÿ4E4AHC78=68B8;;D<8=0C43½ Congregation Ner Shalom screens films and serves Chinese on Dec. 25. See Events, p36.

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

27


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Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Eloy Camacho.

FOR NORTH BAY MOVIE TIMES, GO TO www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com

28

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN




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H:76HIDEDA

H6JH6A>ID

Gangâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s All Here

Kwaazy Kwanzaa

You know, Christmastime is a lot like one big class reunion. Everyone who grew up and moved away is back in town visiting the family, and chances are theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll call or text or message or Facebook each other to go out on the town for a night with the old crew. The Shotgun Wedding Quintet definitely represent a solid crew in Sonoma County, from the jumping days of bands like Cannonball and the Savoy Swingers, before all their members moved down to San Francisco and started playing tiny clubs with Stevie Wonder. Did you jitterbug the night away to Cannonball at First Night in 1997, but have lived in Boston ever since and hoped that maybe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d run into that one sweet guy again, for old timesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sake? Then make it a joyful reunion when Adam Theis and the Shotgun Wedding Quintet play on Saturday, Dec. 26, at Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 9pm. $10. 707.829.7300.

OK, so youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re done with Christmas and you need to take the kids somewhere. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to spend any more money, Lord knows, but you gotta take them some place exciting so theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get out of your hair. Of course! In celebration of the first day of Kwanzaa, the Bay Area Discovery Museum offers free admission, all day, on the day after Christmas. All throughout the museum will be art projects inspired by Africa, as well as a Kwanzaa altar in the main lobby. But most importantly, in two separate shows, drummer E. W. Wainwright will lead a jazz combo in the African Roots of Jazz, tracing the lineage of jazz, blues, spirituals and hip-hop with songs, theater and audience participation. Feel the umoja on

Saturday, Dec. 26, at the Bay Area Discovery Museum. Fort Baker, 557 McReynolds Road, Sausalito. Open 10amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;5pm; performances at 11am and 1pm. Free. 415.339.3900.

< G 6I D C

The Final Hole After 11 years in business, the casual, relaxation-inducing Ace-in-the-Hole Pub in Graton is closing, and with it goes the hearts of many regular drinkers, eaters and music makers.

Sales for Ace Hard Cider are booming, and the production is moving to a larger, publess facility across town. Not one to go out with a whimperâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the Ace is, after all, one of the few venues in the North Bay with live music seven nights a weekâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the jolly spot on the corner of Graton Road and Gravenstein Highway hosts a free-for-all Beatles sing-along on its last night of pulling pints. Christmas can be the cruelest time, and seeing the Ace go down would normally be crushing, but sources tell us theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re planning on staying open long past closing for the big boozy Beatle blowout at the end of a long and winding road on Wednesday, Dec. 23, at the Ace-in-the-Hole Pub. 3100 Gravenstein Hwy., Graton. 6pmâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;whenever. Free. 707.829.1101.

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

29


the last day saloon nightclub & restaurant the best place for live music, dancing and dining THE BAR AND RESTAURANT OPENS ON ALL SHOW DAYS AT 4 PM

12/26

8:30 PM SHOW > $8/10 > ROCK

SWEET LEAF + SPIRAL ARMS + THE ESSENESS PROJECT + SHATTERED THEORY 9 PM SHOW > $40 > 70'S-90'S DANCE

12/31

nEW yEAR'S eVE PARTY

WONDERBREAD 5 + HIGH SPEED WOBBLE + dj on-que MIDNIGHT BALLOON DROP & CHAMPAGNE TOAST

1/2

9:00 PM SHOW > $10 > POP ROCK

NEVERLAND MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE BAND + MUSTACHE HARBOR + DJ ON-QUE

1/7

8:30 PM SHOW > $10/12 > HIP HOP

Rodney O + Rapping 4 Tay + At All Costs + Optimystik + Villein + The Sand Child + Mastah Mind & B Smooth + Milk Man

1/9

9:30 PM SHOW > $10 > 70'S TO NOW DANCE MUSIC

POP FICTION 8:00 PM SHOW > $12/15 > COMEDY

1/15

0.92;1.? :B@60 Concerts

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COMEDY NIGHT FEATURING

MARK PITTA + JEFF BLAZY

1/16

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1/23

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lastdaysaloon.com 30

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN



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Brian Setzer returns as Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clean-up act with his seventh annual Christmas show Dec. 26â&#x20AC;&#x201C;27 at the Wells Fargo Center. See Concerts, above.


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A FULL SERVICE SALON CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT

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Special Christmas Day Dinner 11-9pm

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707-823-5301 3700 Bohemian Hwy, Occidental

Who's the Best? KdiZ[dgHdcdbV!CVeVBVg^ch7Zhi <didlll#Wd]Zb^Vc#Xdb ideg^\]i"]dbZeV\Z ')$,i]gdj\]?VcjVgn&*i]5*eb

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

31


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HOTGRITS PRESENTS

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SAT  DEC 26  9PM  $12

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12/31 NEW YEARS EVE BASH!

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Sat, Dec 26 8:00-9:00am; 9:15-10:15am Jazzercise 10:30-11:40am Salsa Workout with DJ Steve Luther 7:15pm Steve Luther hosts A NIGHTCLUB TWO-STEP PARTY $10

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Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue â&#x20AC;˘ Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 â&#x20AC;˘ www.monroe-hall.com

THE BOHEMIAN

he Big O is a band from Cotati who instead of crediting Weezer as in influenceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;no doubt unable to hold back barfing at the thought of the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last few albumsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;simply cite â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Blue Album and Pinkerton.â&#x20AC;? Everyone knows that â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Blue Album and Pinkertonâ&#x20AC;? means the good Weezer, before Matt Sharp left and it all went to novelty-rock hell where Rivers Cuomo is Satan and his fans are perpetual adolescents doomed to an eternity of tongue-in-cheek chuckles that got old 10 million years ago. To distance oneself from such a cynical posturing of post-post-irony is a good thing, and genuineness is a part of the Big Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s honest, unpretentious songs, which remind me of the band Girls, from San Francisco, or more loosely, the Velvet Underground. Jangly guitars support the wellconstructed but weary-sounding melodies, sung as if up one too many late nights: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Turn around, love is really happening / You should know, I told you it would start again.â&#x20AC;? These are simple words that flashy, dressed-up arena-rock bands donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sing anymore, and it makes sense that the Big O sing them in garages and living rooms over cheap beers and bad PAs. The Big O play this weekend with Mumble Mumble (above), a young band from Oakland whose members werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t born when the Fastbacks started rehearsing in 1979 but who capture the same melodic thrust of carefree optimism in female-vocal-driven songs like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wow, Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Summer.â&#x20AC;? Plenty of post-Gen-Xers have taken lately to the guilty pleasures of cornball â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s groups like Ace of Base and Naughty by Nature for amusement; few, if any, make waves by capturing what was truly good about the millenniumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ nal decade. Raise a toast to the Big O and Mumble Mumble, and their inadvertent crusade, when the two bands share a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas Hangoverâ&#x20AC;? bill on Saturday, Dec. 26, at the Black Cat. 10056 Main St., Penngrove. 10pm. Free. 707.793.9480.

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Tues, Dec 29 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING

12.23.09-12.29.09

Nurse that holiday hangover, friends

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Mon, Dec 28 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 3:30pm WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 3:30, Meeting 4:00 7:00-10:00pm New! Scottish Country Dancing

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LAURALEE BROWN & COMPANY 3 Jazz and Beyond 4pm / In the Bar

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

33


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12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN



By Gabe Meline

C

he first time I saw Not to Reason Why, in 2007, they made my teeth hurt. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only gotten worse in the last two years. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen them in warehouses, in theaters, in living rooms and in barns, and their effect is always physical, centered at various body parts with fierce vibration. One area is always spared the jabbing effect of their orchestrated apocalypse, however, and instead filled with calm: the brain. What is music for? It seemed only suitable to lob the most long-sweeping and epic question about music to the members of a long-sweeping and epic band. Not to Reason Why, who take their name from a roadside f lower stand in Cotati, play condensed, opulent, distorted instrumental rock, sometimes with multiple drummers and always with piano. With the exception of guitarist Ian Simpson, who admires house parties and beer, they lead decidedly unâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll lifestyles. Bassist Navid Manoochehri is passionate about fine food and works at Thomas Kellerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ad Hoc restaurant in Yountville; drummer and pianist Paul and Lauren Haile are newlyweds who like going to church and memorizing classical compositions by ear. The last time I saw the band, they ended their set by slowly rising from their

instruments, gathering in a semicircle, and singing a reverent, four-part Renaissancestyle solfège chorus. What is music for? Escapism and communication, says drummer Paul Haile. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is so much that music can do, and I feel like there is almost a type of music for every sort of situation you may come across in life. But a short answer to your question is that music is something that we do to escape reality. Something everyone can be individually passionate about, and really, a way to relate to other humansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; creative expression.â&#x20AC;? What is music for? Construction and synchronicity, says Manoochehri, who once fronted his own band Allez-Cuisine, named after a recurring command on the television show Iron Chef. Taking a semi-scientific route, he says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think music is the ultimate form of self-expression, because it requires both the left and right sides of the brain to work in tandem to create one final, emotive product.â&#x20AC;? What is music for? Beautiful numbness, offers Simpson, who racked his brain, before replying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iggy Pop said it better than I could ever say it: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Music is so powerful thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it quite beyond my control, and when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m in the grips of it, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel pleasure and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel pain. I just feel pure emotion.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exactly how I feel. The majority of our sets, I black out in the middle of them. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know why it happens.â&#x20AC;? What is music for? Everything, says pianist Lauren Haile. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have so much to say about this,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Music is for sorrow and weeping and gnashing of teeth. Music is for rejoicing and victory and triumph. Music is for building community. Music is for truth. Music is for remembering. Music is for learning, creating, growing, expanding your mind. Music is for showing strength. Music is for showing vulnerability. Music is how we say â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I love you.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Not to Reason Why have a new record out, Would You Hug Fire?, an invigorating set that, unlike their loud live shows, spares every body part. Musically, it can sit comfortably alongside evergreens such as Explosions in the Skyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place or Mogwaiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rock Action in the modern instrumental-rock canon. Emotionally, the band has dedicated it to Phoebe Washer, the 20-year-old Petaluma artist who tragically died from a 2008 fall in the Marin Headlands; two songs, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Giveâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Her,â&#x20AC;? were written specifically in her remembrance. Artistically, Washerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s art is included in an elegant full-color portfolio of individual prints by local artists and photographers in the deluxe vinyl edition of the album, a defiant packaging that goes against the cold, digital age. After two albums, two years of playing constantly and several short tours, Not to Reason Why have entered that realm of local bands more than deserving of the headlining record-release show. What is music for? On the first day of the New Year, find out for yourself. Not to Reason Why play with the New Trust, Litany for the Whale, Goodriddler and Moggs on Friday, Jan. 1, at the Phoenix Theater. 201 E. Washington St., Petaluma. 7pm. $8. 707.762.3565.


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THE BOHEMIAN

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12.23.09-12.29.09

37


BOHEMIANROMANCE check us out online at: www.NorthBayRomance.com

To become a member, call

1 800.273.8235

1 800.214.3435

1 900.287.1222

For customer service, email bohemian@ placepersonal.com, or call 1-617-450-8773 Women Seeking Men 1949 CLASSIC SWF, tall, slender, active, enjoys swimming, bicycling, mysteries, hiking, cooking, barbecuing, symphony. Seeking well-mannered, caring S/DWM, 50-60, N/S, N/D, N/Drugs, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. 415313



SHE’S A LADY Attractive SWF, 69, seeks gentleman, 65-75, for friendship and companionship. Let’s talk and see what develops! 305310



LOCAL GAL WF looking for someone fun, nice, loyal, honest and intelligent who likes good conversation, wine tasting, art, barbecues, camping, hanging out at home and more. 40-55. 306414



LET’S HAVE FUN Spiritual SWF, young 70s, petite, professional, employed, kids grown, ISO a fine, grounded gentleman, 65-70, for possible LTR. 240656



A BIG HEART Caring, loving SF, 39, enjoys movies, the outdoors, travel. Looking for SW/HM, 39-50, for friendship, maybe more. 305007



LOOKING FOR A FRIEND SAF, 48, 5’4’’, looking for a friend who will eventually become my partner in life. 318943



PRETTY & SLENDER Bright and youthful SWF, 50+, enjoys listening to or playing music, travel, playing at the beach, and dating. Seeking nice-looking, kind, intelligent SM, 50s plus or minus, with sense-of-humor, financially secure, to share fun indoors and out, concerts and movies, dining out and walks, cozy fireplaces and sometimes campfires. 303711



LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 40, 5’2’’, reddish-brown hair, enjoys horseback riding, art, the ocean, going new places, shopping, antique stores, movies, going for drives, taking trips. Looking for SWM, 40-55, with similar interests. 323931



LET’S GO OUT & HAVE FUN! Honest woman, 50s, very caring, compassionate, kind, my interests are long drives, walks, dancing, visiting new places, dinners. Seeking nice SM, 50s-60s, for LTR. 297169 TRADITIONAL VALUES SAF, 60, petite, very healthy, very active, secured, honest, sincere, hard-working, likes gardening, cooking, reading, home stuff, occasional drives to the countryside. Seeking SWM, 60-75, who’s cleancut, N/S, N/D, with similar qualities, for friendship first, possible LTR. 313785 PETITE BLONDE Educated and attractive, down-to-earth WF would like to meet someone who shares some of my interests like metal music, concerts, learning and more. If you have an open mind, I definitely want to hear from your. 35-50. 314433 LET’S MEET FOR DINNER SWF, 49, 5’4’’, H/W proportionate, blondish-brown layered hair, big blue eyes, down-to-earth, mellow, nice, kind, sweet, considerate, laid-back, seeks SM, 35-55, who has a good sense of humor. I enjoy cats, beaches, hiking, camping, movies. 310278 LET’S MEET AND TALK SWF, 39, 5’3’’, loves music, dancing. Looking for a social SWM, mid 40s, for friendship first. 318133 SHY AND ARTISTIC Single female in her 50s looking for a male who enjoys music, television. Let’s meet and see if we connect! 308997 FRIENDS OR MORE Nurturing, artistic, bright, hard-working, compassionate, feminine female in her 50s, enjoys music, dancing, travel, the beach, kayaking, dining, taking walks. Seeking male, 50-69, for friendship with the possibility of more. 309768 ONE HONEST WOMAN LEFT Bright SF, 60s, with good values, flexible and honest, likes reading, camping, travel, taking walks. Seeking similar male, 50-69, for friendship, casual relationship, possible LTR. 309769 VERY PERSONABLE Motivated, bright, artistic, hard-working, health-conscious female, 50s, personable and flexible, seeks male, age open, who likes museums, travel, long drives, camping, hiking. 309770











Call costs $2.29/min. Must be 18+

LOOKING FOR LTR Outdoorsy, health-minded, clean-cut, honest woman in her 30s, who enjoys biking, dining, shopping, the beach, hiking, taking walks, wants to meet a male in his 30s for LTR. 309772 CAPTIVATING! Adorable, hard-working, classy female, 50s, enjoys museums, shopping, travel, coffee shops, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, casual relationship, or LTR. 309776 A CARING HEART Outdoorsy, flexible, nurturing, feminine woman, 50s, likes camping, long drives, travel, coffee shops, taking walks. Seeking male, 40-59, for LTR. 309777 GOOD VALUES Caring, personable, compassionate, classy, hardworking female, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, reading, museums, dining, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, possibly more. 309780 WAITING ARMS Caring, educated, honest, optimistic, hard-working SF, 30s, enjoys travel, dining out, long drives, the beach, reading, walks, hiking, music and more. Would like to meet like-minded man, 30-40, for LTR. 313123











To listen & respond to ads, call

To listen & respond to ads using your credit card, call

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Motivated, outdoorsy, honest, health-conscious woman, with good values and optimistic attitude, likes most kinds of music, dining out, walks, camping, travel and relaxing time at home. Seeking a nice, honest, active man, 30-40, with similar interests, to spend time with, possible leading to LTR. 313124



MANY FINE QUALITIES Caring, outdoorsy, honest, artistic, hard-working SF, early 50s, optimistic homebody with good values, has many interests including music, dining out, museums, travel, long drives, reading, walks, camping, biking and more. Looking for an honest, down-to-earth SM, 50-70, for friendship and dating first, possibly leading to something more serious. 313126

COMPASSIONATE Friendly, honest, artistic, outdoorsy, caring SF, 30s, likes watching tv, dancing, the beach, travel, walks, music, hiking, museums, dining out, more. Searching for a partner in life, 30-50, for possible LTR. 313131



OUTGOING AND FUN Compassionate, caring, friendly, honest SF, 20s, likes going to clubs, camping, hiking, reading, the beach, dining out, more. Looking for a down-to-earth, easygoing man, 22-35, for LTR. 313136



Men Seeking Women





LIKE GOING OUT? Honest, goal-oriented personable, artistic, sophisticated, hardworking SF would like to meet a SM, 4060, who enjoys travel, walks, the beach, music, reading, camping, long drives, museums, tv, dining out, dancing and more. Seeking LTR. 313138

ADORABLE AND BRIGHT Caring, friendly, goal-oriented, feminine, honest, compassionate woman, 60s, likes travel, exercise, music, hiking, long drives, dining out, the beach, reading and more. Seeking a great companion, 50-70, to share these activities and quiet times with. 313128

SEEKING LTR Honest, compassionate, artistic, friendly, goal-oriented, caring SF, 50s, health-minded with good values, into music, the beach, dancing, tv, travel, museums, walks, reading and more. Would like to meet SM, around the same age, for companionship. 313139



LIKE PBS? Personable, caring, goaloriented friendly, artistic, compassionate woman, with good values, likes coffee shops, music, reading, walks, travel, dancing, dining out and more. Looking for honest, respectful man, 5070, for LTR. 313143





Singles Parties

LONG HAIR A PLUS Good-looking Native American male, 5’8”, 220lbs, long hair, in search of a Hispanic or Native American woman, 50s, for friendship first and companionship. 304173



SEEKING AN OPEN MIND SBM, 33, 250lbs, smoker, enjoys cars, long walks, working out. Looking for SF, 20-65, kids ok, for possible relationship. 304990



PACIFIC NORTHWEST Casual guy, enjoys mountain and beach trips, walks, outdoors, moonlit nights, cuddling. Seeking SWF, 40-56, slim/medium build, to come spend quiet times in Pacific Northwest. 954499



ADULTS OF ALL AGES WELCOME!

YOUR XMAS PARTY COMPANION Handsome, athletic, 54, 6’, 195lbs, respectful gentleman, with good values, who’s educated, N/S, sociable and mischievous. Looking for a classy, friendly SWF, dances, with a beautiful smile and pointed ears. 325406

NO GAMES OR DRAMA WM, 6’, 190lbs, brownishgray, hazel, goatee, loves playing pool, the outdoors, football, trying new things. Looking for a lady, 25-55, who wants to meet a nice guy. 323674





LET’S CONNECT SM, 6’2’’, 220lbs, athletic, outgoing, loves the outdoors. Looking for similar SW/AF, 18-55, for fun and friendship. 324795



FUN, INTROSPECTIVE SWM, 52, 6’4’’, in good shape, likes classic movies, reading, hiking, classical music, sailing, the outdoors, travel, the symphony. Looking for SF, 22-50, similar interests. 301801



STARTING OVER Separated WM, loves hockey, the outdoors, golf, staying in and watching movies, gardening and more. Would like to meet someone fun who wants to enjoy life. Call me and lift my spirits. 282029 COLLEGE PROF-SUMMERS OFF! Tall, dark, handsome, positive, athletic SM, 60, 6’, 200lbs, looks 45, feels 35, loves life! A seafood vegetarian, non-smoker and light drinker. Loves the outdoors, hiking, walking, mountain biking, tennis, acoustic music, volunteer work, walks on the beach, traveling, long road trips, cuddling, spending time with someone special. 322787



I’M NOT THE GUY... ...for long walks on the beach, dancing the night away. Retiree, 48, moderately disabled with MS, SSU grad, into jazz, films, progressive talk radio. San Francisco native seeks caring, happy lady, 40-50, for companionship. N/S. I’m a good listener, talk to me. Tell me about yourself. 219612





HAPPILY EVER AFTER Single white male, 46, 5’11’’, 190lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, Aquarius, interested in music, film, literature. Seeking the real deal, the storybook, the fairy tale princess. 323596







SHARED JOY SWM, 59, 5’9”, 160lbs, nicelooking, with good SOH, seeking woman to have fun with, race/age unimportant. I like dancing, partying, shows and dining out. Call me! 972627

New Years Eve Bash Thursday, December 31, 9-1am, Grille 101 at Embassy Suites Hotel $20 101 McInnis, San Rafael



CO-SPONSORED by Bohemian Romance and Society of Single Professionals INFO at www. ThePartyHotline.com or 415-507-9962

WELL-TRAVELED WRITER Sensitive, compassionate, honest WM, warm, open, considered attractive, wonderful listener, quiet entertaining, likes most kinds of movies, music, travel, more. Seeking WF, 52-71, for possible relationship. 323098







BLONDE A PLUS SM, 5’10”, 185lbs, black/ brown, light complexion, looking for a slim WF, 19-29, for dating. 324312



LOTTERY WINNER if you respond to this ad you will in effect have won the lottery. I’m a bald 54 year-old, handsome man, well-traveled, love cooking, adventure, exploring. Ready to have a slender, attractive, sexy, happy girlfriend. 325270



GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR SWM, 59, 5’11’’, 180lbs, nonsmoker, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, enjoys fishing, beaches, dining out and more. Seeking female, 5565, for possible relationship. 309857



FRIEND LOVER SOULMATE SWPJM, 56, 5’10”, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, kind, passionate, artistic, sincere, committed and fun, enjoys ocean walks, travel, arts, food, wine and nature. Seeking SF, 50-62, kindred spirit, kind, soft, sensuous, for life’s adventures together. 309779



GET TO KOW ME SBM, 53, 6’1”, 190lbs, looking for a fun, loving woman, 25-65, with a good personality, who likes having a good time, the beach, horseback riding, movies, walks and more. 314332



LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6’, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315052



ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White Guidelines:BohemianRomanceisacommunitypublication.ParticipantsintheBohemianRomancemust be 18 years or older. Use of Bohemian Romance for any illegal purpose will be subject to prosecution. Bohemian Romanceisnotliableforthecontentofthepersonalsadvertisementsortheresponsetosuchadvertisements.BohemianRomance encourages readers to take appropriate safeguards when responding to personal and arrangingmeetings.Screenallrespondentscarefully.Meetingswithnew companions should occur in public places and participants should not divulge their addresses. Be smart, not sorry. Notallboxescontainavoicegreeting.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235

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Only $2.29 per minute • 18 and up • Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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BOHEMIANROMANCE To become a member, call To listen & respond to ads, call

1 900.287.1222

1.800.214.3435 To listen & respond to ads using a credit card or check, call

1 800.273.8235

Call costs $2.19/min. Must be 18+ Men Seeking Women HOPE TO FIND YOU Sociable, good-hearted, compassionate, healthy gentleman, 63, published writer/ poet, D/D-free, non-drinker, enjoys quiet times, home, sports, simple times. Seeking loving, happy, intelligent woman to share life, love, possible LTR. Bay Area preferred. 224839



LOOK NO FURTHER SWM, 30, 5’4’’, looking for a woman, 30-40, who wants to hang out and get to know each other. 317907



COOKING FOR YOU! SWM, 62, 5’10”, 170lbs, N/S, light drinker, clean shaven, hazel eyes, self-employed, loves cooking, jazz and traveling. Seeking a similar woman, 50-80, race unimportant, for possible LTR. 318883



ONE GOOD MAN LEFT SHM, 32, N/S, likes soccer, running. In search of SA/BF for friendship first possibly leading to more. 319059



JUST MOVED HERE SWM, 5’7’’, 190lbs, brown eyes, wants to meet soulmate in similar SF, 30-55. I love swing dancing, travel, gourmet cooking, animals, nature. 305800



SOMEONE LIKE ME SWM, youthful 51, 5’11’’, 200lbs, dark hair, hazel eyes, looking for a lady, 40-59, who likes to party, is outgoing, adventurous. 319319



EASY ON THE EYES Outgoing, good-looking WM, 6’, 175lbs, salt-n-pepper/blue, good sense of humor, spontaneous, romantic, adventurous, likes weekend getaways, concerts and more. Seeking honest, appreciative woman, 22-65, who has goals in life. 320839



JACK OF HEARTS Handsome dude, 57, good SOH, interesting, spontaneous, fun, adventuresome, looking for attractive woman. I enjoy dancing, concerts, dining out, hiking, beach combing and holding hands also loves animals, dogs, cats and 20 horses. Happy trails! 1639 SEEKING A REAL WOMAN WM, 6’, 200lbs, blond/blue, a few tattoos, very athletic, loves the beach, bike rides, romantic evenings at home, great conversation. Seeking honest woman, 18-50, no games. 322539 KISSING & CUDDLING Single man in Sonoma County, extremely romantic, looking for an equally romantic partner. I love soft kisses, snuggling on the couch, and making you laugh! 315225 SOMETIMES MISCHIEVOUS Optimistic, honest, cleancut, caring, outdoorsy man, 50s, likes music, walks, long drives, running, watching tv, museums, dining out. Seeking SF, 50s, for companionship. 313135 FRIENDSHIP FIRST Caring, honest, nurturing SM, 60s, enjoys music, watching tv, walks, camping, coffee shops, hiking and museums. Looking for SF, 30-70, for dating possibly leading to LTR. 313144 LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6’, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315055 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE SM, 20s, bright, artistic, ambitious, optimistic, personable, likes dining, travel, the beach, walking, exercise. Seeking female, 20s, for possible relationship. 318319







COMPASSIONATE SM, 60s, with good values, likes camping, dancing, dining, reading, hiking, walking, biking. Looking for SF, 50s, for LTR. 318320



Men Seeking Men LOOKING FOR LOVE Seeking one man to love and care for completely and forever. Me: SBM, 50ish, affectionate, supportive, genuine, lots to offer. You: just be yourself, imperfect, mature older man, 70-90, with some humor, some laughter. Are you the one? 299175 COMPASSIONATE GUY Hard-working, classy, cleancut, caring, honest male in search of a male, 58-69, who likes night clubs, television, travel, dancing, the beach, taking walks, exercise. 308996









Women Seeking Women WHERE ARE YOU? You are 35-45, very feminine, dark, mystical, spiritual, with a sense of humor, know what you like, and want to enjoy life, but not alone. I’m trying to find you, where are you? 310085 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 41, Santa Rosa area, looking for a SWF, 30-45, to hang out and have fun with. 318644

 





Alternative Lifestyles SPANK YOU VERY MUCH Woman, thou shalt be spanked. Gentle or hard, clothed or naked, whatever you deserve, by a sexy man who knows how to do it. 288495 LET’S HAVE FUN SM, 38, 6’2”, 200lbs, looking for a top or couples to get together and share good times with. 324363 DISCREET ENCOUNTER BiHM, 50, 5’6”, 180lbs, nonsmoker, seeking males, females or couples to have some hot fun and more. 324668 STRAIGHTFORWARD FUN SWM, 39, looking for SF, 1850, who likes to try new things and isn’t afraid of having a little fun! 304707









JOIN US White couple looking for a female, 18-25, for fun, discreet times together. Give us a call. 311573



READY FOR FUN? SWM, 30, feminine bottom, looking for a top WM, 20-60, for good times and fun. Let’s see where it goes! 311892



SHE-MALE SEEKS GOOD TIMES Want to spend time with a man or a woman. I am very affectionate, beautiful, and love to be held. Interested? 279657



KEEP IT DISCREET WF, 30s, dark/dark, light complexion, fun-loving, bi-curious, seeks discreet female, 28-55, to have fun and party with. 314779



WHATEVER YOU DECIDE! SM, 5’11’’, 170lbs, light brown hair, blue eyes, athletic build, shaved, smooth and sexy, well-endowed, into a wide variety of pleasures. Anything goes; role play, fantasy fulfillment, toys, porn, lingerie. Seeking couples and females to party and play. 316161



COUPLE SEEKS WOMAN Very attractive, middle-aged, married white couple, she’s 5’2”, 125lbs, 34D. He is 5’11”, 172lbs. Both and very sensual and she is multi-orgasmic. We are N/S, light drinkers, healconscious, pleasant, nonpushy. Please be N/S, H/W proportionate, white, Hispanic or Asian, under 55. Bi or bi-curious ok. Discretion assured. Let’s have fun. 314002



TURN THE TABLES Handsome, sane, married WM, 57 is looking for a woman, who knows how to use a strap on, for ongoing, mostly daytime play. I will please you in any way that you want and I take directions well. 318288



GREAT LEGS! Tall, slender cross-dresser, very nice legs, looking for men or a group of men. Give me a call, let’s have some fun! 318996



BD/SM SWM, submissive, wants one or two females or young male for BD/SM, watersports, torture, anal. Never did any of this before, but curious to try now! 319455



SEEKING COUPLES Good-looking bi male, 50, would like to meet bi man/ woman couples for erotic interlude. 319986



TRIPLE PLAY Handsome, easygoing, discreet, polite gentleman, 57, enjoys couples. I am a WM, 6’, 190lbs, athletic build, well hung and Bi. I also like dominant women. 232423



LET’S HAVE SOME FUN Male looking for an older gentleman, 35-65, to teach me the ropes. I haven’t been with too many people. I like watching adult movies and trying new things. 321782



I NEED HELP! Married HM, 49, 5’11”, goodlooking, doesn’t get it at home. Looking for a wild woman with a high libido for a discreet sexual encounter. 322196



FREAKY MAN... looking for a freaky, spontaneous, wild, erotic woman, 18-55, to get together and have some fun, adult times together. 322361



JOIN US Bi couple looking for a stud, a muffin or both. Satisfaction guaranteed. 323336



SANTA ROSA AREA WM, 41, looking for openminded people who enjoy adult fun. I like adult movies, toys and looking for a couples and females. I can be orally bi depending on the chemistry. 323130

18+

866.689.5312



Get ready to meet someone special.

Missed Connections AMAZON KINDLE Hello, I met you Friday June 27 at the Russian River Brewing Company on Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. She may be a computer programmer from St. Helena Hospital and watched on this day 3 movies back to back in the theater on Fourth St. in the town of Santa Rosa The Love Guru by Mike Meyers, Wall-E and another film. And she sipped a little beer and read from her Amazon kindle. I would like to get in touch with this girl and ask her to edit my book. She is a perfect candidate for my book. Hope to hear from you. Phil. 274972



CORINA IN OLIVER’S Saturday at 4:00PM, You had 15-year-old twins with blacks belts in karate. I have two cute little kids. We talked about children and kale. Lunch? 311695



call 1.800.214.3435

The Bohemian is no longer servicing walk-in ads. Please call 1-800-214-3435 to become a member.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235

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Only $2.19 per minute • 18 and up • Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m.

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√ By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

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Call now for details: 1-800-943-0685. (AAN CAN)

Employment

Computer Services

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$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 [www.easywork-greatpay.com ]www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

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MacAdvantage Macintosh FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Hardware/ Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email,Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam NguyenChief Tech, M-F 10-6 info@themacadvantage.com 707.664.0400

For Sale Electronics

Get Dish-Free Installation $19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy!

Family Services Pregnant? Considering Adoption? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birth

Adult Entertainment

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mothers with families nationwide. Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866/413-6293 (AAN CAN)

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g Classes & Instruction

Early Spring Vegetable Gardening Take advantage of our mild California Bay Area climate to get your vegetable gardening up and productive for the season. Available class dates: January 24, 2010 (Sunday) 10am-3pm February 13, 2010 (Saturday) 10am-3pm Tuition: $55 Materials Fee: $20. fh.bond@gmail.com

Beekeeping Do you know that you can keep bees in a small family hive in your backyard? Contact Cynthia at loveapplefarm@gmail.com or call 831.588.3801. ADVANCE REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED. Available class dates: January 16, 2010 (Saturday) 10am-1pm June 12, 2010 (Saturday) 10am-1pm. Tuition: $49

High School Diploma! Fast, affordable and accredited. Free brochure. Call Now!

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1-888-532-6546 ext. 97 www.continentalacademy.com. (AAN CAN) Announcements

Codependents Anonymous Womens 12 Step Study Group meets Fri days from 7:00-8:15pm, at the Community Church of Sebastopol, rm 4, 1000 Gravenstein Hwy. For more info about CODA visit www.CODA.org or call 707-535-9725.

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Miscellaneous

Gain National Exposure Reach over 5 million young, active, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202/289-8484. (AAN CAN)

BUSINESS CARDS • BROCHURES • POSTERS T-SHIRTS • CD COVERS • FLYERS PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION

general marketing materials

Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924 | schaumann1@earthlink.net

SANTA ROSA’S

Adult Entertainment

Quality and Maturity

Kara, in Marin. Call for photos. Please, no calls from blocked phone numbers. No calls after midnight. 415/233-2769. Adult Massage

**North Bay Beauties** Convenient incall off 101. Ask about website pix. Liza * 707-566-7866 Kayla * 707-843-2271 Chatline

WHERE SINGLES MEET Listen & Respond FREE! 707/583-1055 Code 6999 Visit MegaMates.com, 18+ Dateline

SINGLES! SANTA TA ROSA CALL NOW! SANT

707-206-6494 707 206 6494 SAN FRANCISCO....415-501-9701

Collect Call Billing! 1-866-607-5282 1-900 Pricing Options! 1-900-622-1100 Dial #CLICK (#25425) 79¢/min. Sprint, Boost, AT&T

18+ *Charges may apply to certain features.

MEN SEEKING MEN Browse & Respond FREE! 415-430-1199 Code 5631 Meet Your Man Here!

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HEALTH&WELL-BEING g g Healing & Bodywork

Massage & Relaxation

RELAX! Relaxing massage and bodywork by male massage therapist with 10 yrs experience. 707-542-6856

Grand Opening! Massage $55 hr

• Deep Tissue/Swedish • Sports • Shiatzu • Back Walking • Foot Reflexology • Chair $10/10 min massage

Man of Your Dreams Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

Windsor: 4 Men Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Happy Health Spa

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Strong Thorough and Intuitive 30 yrs experience. Excellent Rates! 1/2 hour, hour or 90 mins. Colin, CMT 707-823-2990.

Great Massage By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub and pool available. Will do outcalls. 707-228-6883.

open 10-10, 7 days

525 Ross St, Santa Rosa

707-591-8899

Health & Beauty

Petaluma Lavender Day Spa Opening Specials • FREE Table Shower • FREE 20 min Sauna luxury large Finnish & steam combination

• Excellent Massage your choice of soft, Chinese, Swedish, Acupressure or combo

• Relaxing Body Scrubs

Relaxing Massage

Walk-ins Welcome

First time $45/hr. www.garywtmassage.com, Gary, CMT. 707-235-5423

707-782-9898

Open 7 days, 9–10

SEBASTOPOL MASSAGE FOR GUYS Exquisite holiday pampering is yours with my full-body DEEP pain-relieving massage. 707-824-8700 or google search “James Dickson Massage Calendar” for pics & availability.

MEN! Get a Massage the way you like it. Swedish and deep tissue techniques. Relaxing and rejuvenating. Flexible schedule for your convenience. Outcalls available. Call James 707-477-4365.

1 HR/$65 90 MIN/$100 walk-ins or appt

707.528.2540 3401 Cleveland Ave #2 Santa Rosa

With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.

Therapeutic Massage Center Boody Massage $55/hr Open 7 days 9-10pm

707.578.3088

Foot Massage $19.99/45 min 2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa

Chinese Medicine & Massage Therapy Center FREE CONSULTATION with a Chinese medicine expert & Qi Gong Master. Treatment for pain & injury. Extensive traditional Chinese herbal pharmacy

Massage 4 Men

Deep Relaxing Full Body Massage To total Completion by a mature male $40/hour. Napa Valley location. Roger 707-525-1771.

FLOWER SPA

Golden Flower Massage Spa

• Swedish & Deep

Tissue Massage • Hot Stone Massage

699 Petaluma Blvd. N

Full Body Sensual Massage

NOW OPEN

131 Liberty St, Ste. D

Asian Massage Thai • Deep Tissue Swedish • Hot Stone

Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. NEW CLIENT DISCOUNT. 707-793-2232.

Men`s Massage for In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a Pleasure and Health Total relaxation $50/hr John “mature”, compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since (707)-536-1516 Santa Rosa 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to www.completebodybalance. com

(at Washington behind Wachovia Bank)

RELAX

A Safe Place To Be Real

A Provider of Pleasure

Parking is easy & safe

Lily Spa

women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.

707.765.1879 Open 7 days 9am-10pm

Massage • Reflexology Swedish/Shiatsu Open 7 Days: 10am-10pm

1626 4th St. Santa Rosa 707.526.6888

Honoring the Season: An Evening of Reflection and Anticipation Join us as we gather on the December solstice, the longest night of the year, to prepare together for deep winter and the slowly returning sun. We will be sharing stories and contemplative practices. Dec 21, 7-8:30 pm, Journey Center, Santa Rosa, 707-578-2121, www.journeycenter.org.

Rocks and Clouds Zendo Meditation and Dharma Talk Wednesday nights, 7:00 p.m.618 South Main Street, Sebastopol.www.rocksandclouds.org 707/824-5647.

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS Finding inspiration and connecting with your community The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness Reading room, art gallery, prayer/ meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121

Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30–8:45pm Prayers for World Peace, Sun, 10:30–11:45am Everyone welcome. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North, Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

Santa Rosa Shambhala Meditation Center Free instruction and practice opportunities Tuesday 4:30-5:30 PM, Wednesday 7 PM, Sunday 10 AM - 11:15 AM. www.santarosa.shambhala.org

Share your organization’s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly!

Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

by Ron,

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QuietMassage.com Santa Rosa 8 am – 8 p m (.'. ,*-$((*-

MORE THAN 15 MASSAGE TECHNIQUES FOR PERFECT RELAXATION Swedish, Deep Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology Qi Gong • Thai Chi • Acupuncture Cupping herbs • Infrared Sauna • Same-day Appointments Walk-ins Welcome • Treatments Start at $20 - Insurance Accepted Gift Certificates • Open 7 days, 10 AM to 8 PM

707.762.9111 • 172 Keller Street, Petaluma

41

12.23.09-12.29.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Call the Bohemian NOW to advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com


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For the week of Dec. 23

Pet Services

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ANIMAL LOVERS You can make a difference. People for Animal Liberation (PAL) in Sonoma County advocates for animals. More info email: jasminethevegan@yahoo.com

Place your

Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11am

pet related ad here today! Call 707.527.1200

WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa

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Meet Rumor • Kitty of the Week

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707-322-3272 www.incrediblecanine.com

MEET RUMOR! Yes, Rumor does have IT! A cute little high-piched meow and beautiful coloring especially around the eyes and her hind quarters. She loves to rub and be petted and is quite the conversationalist. A sweet and loving kitty just ready to ring in the New Year with you. To learn more about adopting Rumor or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online. The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

Meet Hooper • Kitty of the Week

Meet Patches • Doggie of the Week

MEET HOOPER, winner of the Cat of the Week contest as voted by our volunteers. And we know why! A curious, BIG guy who has the typical funloving and funny black and white personality. He loves to while away the day “cat-napping” but is always ready for a little entertainment and some affection. To learn more about adopting Hooper or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

MEET PATCHES! Isn’t he just the most handsome dog you’ve ever seen? Although he’s probably better named Patch – what happened to his spots?! And he’s just aching for love! His intelligent eyes are curious and thoughtful, and he is quick to pick up on and respond to your mood in the best way he can. To learn more about adopting Patches or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

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BOHEMIAN FLIPSIDE

THE BOHEMIAN

12.23.09-12.29.09

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1OZZCa AO[S2Og2]aW\U <]/^^]W\b[S\b<SQSaaO`g SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal! Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

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SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B, Santa Rosa

Donate Your Auto 800.380.5257

Golden Star Grafix

We do all DMV. Free pick up- running or not (restrictions apply). Live operators- 7 days! Help the Polly Klaas Foundation provide safety information and assist families in bringing kids home safely.

Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job!

Northstone ORGANICS

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Medical Marijuana Certifications $125. Santa Rosa. 707-575-7375

MEDICAL MARIJUANA EVALUATIONS

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A[OZZ4O`[aAb`]\U1][[c\WbgAcabOW\OPZS:WdW\U

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SKIRT CHASER VINTAGE NEW LOCATION! 208 Davis Street., Railroad Square 707- 546-4021. ALWAYS BUYING!

Green Earth Catering Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies, Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

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Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help you! We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and heroin using replacement medications. We also treat methamphetamine and alcohol dependence.

* For qualified patients only. Valid California I.D. and Doctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recommendation required.

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SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM 1901 Cleveland Ave Suite B, Santa Rosa

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707-576-0818 www.srtp.net Photography by Paul Burke Medicann - Med. Marijuana Evaluations New Cotati Office Now Open. 866-632-6627 Free I.D. card. 24/7 verification. Doctor/patient confidentiality. Lic. MD. Discount for MediCal, MediCare and Vets.

707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

Advertise on the Back Page Call 707.527.1200 today and be seen more than in any other section of the Bohemian!

(+/+G<K8CLD89CM;EFIK?

707 775-2400

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