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11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN


.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Performances09 Enrich. Educate. Entertain. Your Community Non-Profit Arts Center for 28 years

IS AY! H T D N SU

DRW Production presents

DRW Production presents

November 27

December 19 & 20

Bad Boys of Dance

Nutcracker

Always…Patsy Cline

The Andy Williams Christmas Show

Faith Ako presents

Gabriel Iglesias

6th Street Playhouse presents November 28

December 22

Hawaiian Christmas Music

January 29

December 12

Chicago in Concert

4mywanderlust Productions presents

March 30

The Kingston Trio December 14

Full schedule online wellsfargocenterarts.org For tickets call 707.546.3600 (noon-6pm Tue-Sat) Online wellsfargocenterarts.org Highway 101 to River Road, Santa Rosa • Connecting our Community through the Arts Wells Fargo Center for the Arts gratefully acknowledges generous support from

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11.25.09-12.01.09

03


Fine Dining For Wild Birds

71 Brookwood Ave., Santa Rosa 707.576.0861 Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-4pm • www.wbu.com

Birdseed . Feeders . Birdbaths . Optics . Nature Gifts . Books 04

11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN


Specialists in Jewelry Makeovers

Expert Repairs Laser Welding

Unique Designs by Mark Shimizu and other local artists. Perfect and Elegant Gifts for the Holidays

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THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

05


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F4½A46D4BB8=6ÂźE8;;08=½ I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t attend a UC school, but read with interest Dr. Don Rothmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Open Mic essay on the rising cost of tuition (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Degree of Worth,â&#x20AC;? Nov. 11). What was not addressed was why the tuition fees are so high. Are UC faculty and staff paid disproportionally higher than in other schools, are they banking the money and building a ridiculously high endowment, or is the cost of running a state school just so high that thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what it costs to get an education in California? Without that information, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to know if the UC system is the villain or victim.

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to a woman who for her own personal reasons chooses to have an abortion. Healthcare reform will expand access to quality, affordable healthcare for millions of men, women and children. It is absolutely crucial we pass legislation this year. But outlawing coverage for a legal, medical procedure hurts women and thus hurts America. We cannot dictate what is and is not covered when currently there are Americans who have no choices because they have no coverage. Church and state are separate, and thus religious decisions about abortion have no place in a public option. We cannot have a healthy America without healthy Americans.

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As a young woman, I understand the difficult choices I make daily about my body. I personally do not believe I could ever abort a child, but I do believe that I cannot make that choice for others, because I do not walk in their shoes. It is because of this core belief that I strongly believe the government has no place in making these decisions for the people. The Stupak Amendment proposes to do that and more. We cannot deny coverage

So, watching butchers cut up whole animals in the Bloodhound Bar is the â&#x20AC;&#x153;newest live entertainmentâ&#x20AC;?? (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Viscera and Voyeurism,â&#x20AC;? Nov. 18). Be honest: itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blood sport. And now, butchers, your timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had your 15 minutes of fame. Next! Oh, by the way, if thirty-something hipster foodies really want to save tradition, maybe they should apprentice to a skilled butcher. You know, to learn

something. What you can pick up in a bar isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really educational or going to â&#x20AC;&#x153;save tradition.â&#x20AC;? Ya know?

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Whoa, there, Michael: Rising stars Ryan Farr and Taylor Boetticher did apprentice under master butchers and do respect the craft and art of the profession.

B:8==436>0C7403B=>C78BC78=6 As a confirmed In-and-Out-lovinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; carnivore and no fan of WETA (Wingnuts for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) in any way, shape or form, even I found your cover article on butcher parties to be really disgusting. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m also a champion of freedom of speech and of the press, but maybe we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the stomach-turning pictures, which only seemed to suggest food, folks and fun at Jeffrey Dahmerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Sasha Wizansky is absolutely right when she was quoted as saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everybody has something to say about [meat].â&#x20AC;? I can almost guarantee there will be a bloody backlash from the Radical Tofuheads in response. Oh, wow, what do you know? What a perfect segue! Look whose letter is next. . . .

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Whoa, there, Chris: The admittedly repugnant display of raw animal parts at Primal was not exactly like being trapped inside the fetid apartment of deranged serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

70=68=6BBC>=8=6B4C2 I was saddened, shocked and disgusted with your article on butcher parties in San Francisco. People are actually paying money to watch the slaughter of innocent animals. Where are we going as a society? Hopefully, people witnessing this will realize where their food is actually coming from and stop eating animals. However, maybe they will become desensitized and be more likely to condone Michael Vick and other dog abusers. Maybe we will start to have public hangings in town squares. Maybe this will lead to more domestic violence.

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Whoa, there, Stephen: The animals are not slaughtered onsite in a bar; rather, they are humanely excised, mostly dressed and thoroughly bled in advance. How such a meal might lead to the canonization of Michael Vick, the reinstitution of community lynchings and a rise in spousal abuse remains just a wee bit mysterious to us. But damn do we love barbecue.

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11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN




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11.25.09-12.01.09

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news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Official Newspaper of Tryptophanâ&#x20AC;?

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7>??8=6<03 Brokers who claimed to have no hops in December, just after harvest, suddenly had lots of them onhand in February. How is that possible?

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Were hop markets deliberately manipulated last year to drive up prices? By Alastair Bland

C

he great hops shortage of 2008 created a scare so real that many brewers began planning for a future without IPAs and other hop-heavy beers. Others looked up archaic recipes for malt beverages flavored with herbs and spices, and around the nation brewers grew so concerned about availability that when middleman brokers offered long-term contracts at sky-high prices, many jumped at the chance. But few brewers ever ran out of hops, and many if not most are back to brewing beer as usualâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;except that now theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re handing over four, five and six times what they paid for their hops prior to the panic. This huge price hike has occurred disproportionately

on the broker-to-brewer end of the equation, sources say, and that has some brewers a bit miffed. Some even suggest that things worked out suspiciously well for the middlemen from whom they buy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Someone made some money on the whole shortage panic, and [brewers] are the ones hurting for it,â&#x20AC;? says Russ Klisch, president of Lakefront Brewery in Wisconsin. Klisch had been paying roughly $5 per pound for hops in 2007, but is now locked into a contract at rates ranging up to $18 per pound. Gayle Goschie, a hop farmer in Oregon��&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Willamette Valley, indicates that dramatic pricing markups have occurred on the broker-to-brewer side of business. Goschie says that while she is now receiving roughly 30 percent more money for her hops from

the brokers she sells to, â&#x20AC;&#x153;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing like the price spike of hundreds of percent that we saw with some varieties as they went from dealer to brewer.â&#x20AC;? According to numbers supplied by the Washington Hop Commission, United States hop merchants paid farmers an industry-wide average of $3.97 per pound for their hops in 2008. These merchants in turn sold to brewers at anywhere between $14 and $25 per pound. At Avery Brewing Company in Boulder, Colo., brewmaster Adam Avery has no doubt that a legitimate hop shortage occurred following the poor harvest of fall 2007. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sure, the supply wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t totally adequate,â&#x20AC;? he says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but was it fair that hop prices quadrupled? Absolutely not.â&#x20AC;? Arne Johnson at Marin Brewing Company recalls paying between $2 & &

6aagZaVi^dch]^eh]VkZi]Z^g^hhjZh!bVcn d[l]^X]iZcYid^cXgZVhZVhi]ZgZaVi^dch]^eh [VaiZg!XdbWjhidgdi]Zgl^hZY^b^c^h]#<d^c\ i]gdj\]VWgZV`"jedghZeVgVi^dc^cVhbVaa Xdbbjc^inXVcWZgdj\]Ă&#x2026;eZdeaZiVa`!i]ZZm bV`ZhVeeZVgVcXZhWZ[dgZbdgc^c\Xd[[ZZ! hZcYhXgnei^XiZmibZhhV\Zhdg^hdi]Zgl^hZ Vccdn^c\dg]jgi[jal]Zcl]Vi^hegVnZY[dg ^hVh^beaZY^hVeeZVg^c\VXi#>bV\^cZ!i]Zc! i]VijedcVWgZV`"je^i^hY^hXdkZgZYi]Vi i]Z^ch^\c^Ă&#x2019;XVcidi]Zg]VYWZZcXVcddYa^c\ ZahZl]ZgZVcYeVhhZYdcVcZbWVggVhh^c\ eVgi^c\\^[i^ci]Z[dgbd[VhZmjVaanigVchb^iiZY Y^hZVhZHI9#I]gdlVa^iiaZ=&C&k^gjh^cidi]Z b^m!VcYi]Z]jb^a^Vi^dcXVcWZediZci^Vaana^[Z i]gZViZc^c\VcYkZgn!kZgnZmeZch^kZ# 6XXdgY^c\idi]Z8ZciZgh[dg9^hZVhZ8dcigda VcYEgZkZci^dc898!i]dhZl^i]lZV`ZcZY ^bbjcZhnhiZbhdgegZ"Zm^hi^c\^aacZhh!hjX]Vh h^cjh^c[ZXi^dch!ecZjbdc^VVcYHI9h!VgZViV ]^\]Zgg^h`[dgbdgZhZg^djh]ZVai]Xdbea^XVi^dch l]ZcZmedhZYidi]Z=&C&k^gjh#>cVYY^i^dc! 898Ă&#x2030;haViZhigZedgi!gZaZVhZYaVhilZZ`!^aajhigViZh i]VidkZg&.b^aa^dceZdeaZVgZ^c[ZXiZYl^i] HI9hZVX]nZVg^ci]ZJc^iZYHiViZh!l^i]V&'id &-eZgXZci^cXgZVhZ^c'%%-!YZeZcY^c\dci]Z heZX^Ă&#x2019;XHI9#L^i]^ck^h^WaZk^gjhZhVcYWVXiZg^V XgZZe^c\VgdjcYa^`Za^iiaZVedXVanei^XeVgVh^iZh! ^i^hhjgeg^h^c\i]VibdgZhZmjVaanVXi^kZVYjaih VgZcdiĂ&#x201C;dX`^c\idYgj\hidgZh[dghjg\^XVabVh`h! XdcYdbhdgZkZcXgj^h^c\Z7Vn[dgX]Vhi^inWZaih# ;dgi]dhZcdil^aa^c\idWZhZXajYZY^c XZa^WViZ^hdaVi^dcjci^a898ZgVY^XViZhVaa ^c[ZXi^djhY^hZVhZh!i]ZgZVgZh^beaZi]^c\hid Yd^cVYY^i^dcidgZXZ^k^c\i]Z=&C&kVXX^cZVcY ^c\Zhi^c\cZVg"aZi]VaYdhZhd[^bbjcZ"Wddhi^c\ o^cXVcYk^iVb^c8#;^ghiVcYbdhi^bedgiVcian! hidX`jedcXdcYdbh#Bdhi[Vb^aneaVcc^c\Xa^c^Xh egdk^YZVcVWjcYVcXZd[i]Zb[dg[gZZ0_jhih]dl jeVcYVh`#;gZZhVbeaZhVgZZkZcVkV^aVWaZ i]gdj\]bV_dgXdcYdbbVcj[VXijgZghĂ&#x2030;lZWh^iZh# >i^hValVnhWZiiZgidWZhV[Zi]Vchdggnl^i]Vc jcXdb[dgiVWaZ^iX]# HZXdcYan!k^h^idcZd[i]ZbVcnadXVaXa^c^Xh [dgHI9iZhi^c\VcY$dgigZVibZci#EaVccZY EVgZci]ddY<daYZc<ViZd[[ZghlVa`"^ciZhi^c\ ]djgh[dgldbZcVcYbZcVi^ihXa^c^Xh^c CVeV&,(*?Z[[ZghdcHi#!CVeV0,%,#'*'#-%*%! BVg^c'=Hi#!HVcGV[VZa0-%%#.+,#,*'+VcY HdcdbV&(,%BZY^XVa8ZciZg9g^kZ!Gd]cZgi EVg`0-%%#.+,#,*'+!VhYdZhLdbZcĂ&#x2030;h=ZVai] HeZX^Va^hih))&*HdcdbV=ln#!HiZ#9!HVciV GdhV0,%,#*(,#&&,&#6aaiZhi^c\VcYigZVibZci hZgk^XZhVgZd[[ZgZYViadldgcdXdhiVXXdgY^c\id ^cXdbZ#6kd^YVadc\!XdaYl^ciZgVadcZ!VcY\Zi ndjg_jc`X]ZX`ZYdji# Ă&#x2026;9Vc^7jga^hdc

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09


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Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never tolerate such behavior in an employee; why do so from your own mother? By Christina Julian

8

decided it was time. The current economic climate only fueled my cause with firings and layoffs representing the new â&#x20AC;&#x153;day at the office.â&#x20AC;? If Starbucks and General Motors could lay off an army of people, I could fire my family. They, unlike a diligent workforce, had given me enough just cause to fill a Microsoft office park. It sounded crazy, yes, but some crazy is worth considering. I walked down the memory lane of my near forty-year life. One thing was consistent. No matter how much the world revolved and I evolved, my parents, as much as they loved me, could masterfully cut me down to my most insecure self quicker than I could place fork to plate during an awkward family meal. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to act hastily, so I polled a few of my friends, the ones with rock-solid relationships with their parental units. I probed into uncomfortable places like only a good parent could do. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Has your family ever asked inappropriate questions about finances, sexual proclivities, hygiene, alcohol consumption, body fat and routes to work?â&#x20AC;? What about friendly game nights that turn into heated rounds of Trivializing My Pursuits, replete with home-spun questions about failed relationships, finances and career debacles? Some friends stared at me blankly. Others laughed, especially when I mentioned my momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pastime of sending me magazine articles on sex and dating, with Post-It notes directing my attention to tips about condoms, abstinence and dressing for dating â&#x20AC;&#x153;success.â&#x20AC;? The more I probed, the more I learned that many had unhealthy relationships with their families. After careful analysis of the data, I came to the conclusion that the strife stemmed from boundariesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the lack of them. Like any work-related dismissal, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never advisable to fire a family member out of the blue. You need to monitor behavior and then open up a dialogue when enough undesirable events have occurred. I developed a list of infringements: my fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tabletop dancing at my wedding and my motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nicknaming my former husband â&#x20AC;&#x153;gigolo hussyâ&#x20AC;? made the cut. (I blamed the latter on her crush on Richard Gere.) I noted their behavior and planned to open up a dialogue when the next inappropriate incident occurred. It came

when I received an unsolicited airline ticket to a government career fair. The fact that I had no experience or interest in the field didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter. After five minutes of contemplation, I decided to put my parents â&#x20AC;&#x153;on notice.â&#x20AC;? I called them back the next day to communicate some boundaries. This gave them an opportunity to correct their conduct. I politely informed them that if they crossed the line again, I would suspend them from my life. I could tell they were perplexed, so I gave some examples. Mom, if you talk down to me on the phone, I will tell you to stop. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, I will end the call. Dad, I told you not to disparage my career. If you do that again, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to discontinue our weekly calls. When their behavior improved, I rewarded them with more frequent calls and visits. When they reverted to their old micro-managing tricks, I tempered my contact, guilt free. By stipulating what was and wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t acceptable, I had given myself a new birthright, one that removed my parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ability to wage war against my life. Did I banish them for good? No, life is too short, and frankly weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all too old to hold that kind of grudge. But what I achieved in firing them was a justified reason to restrict their access to certain aspects of my life. I still need to occasionally remind them of the ground rules. When they break them, I put them back on notice. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m at peace with my family for the first time since my days in diapers. I now understand that my parents have been unable to transition from the role of parent of a young child to parent of an adult child. I, however, have made the shift. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve grown up, and for the first time in my life, I own my adulthood.

Like any work-related dismissal, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never advisable to fire a family member out of the blue.

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Christina Julian is freelance writer living in Calistoga. She has been a food and nightlife critic in New York, and recently completed her first novel â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dear God, Can I Fire My Family?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Currently, she writes for Wacky WineSense (www.wackywinesense.blogspot.com), a local wine, food and frolic blog that puts the fun back into an otherwise serious business. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.


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and $6 per pound for various hops in 2007. Now the brewer is locked into a multiyear contract at rates between $14 and $20 per pound. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The brokers know that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got to make beer and that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll pay whatever we have to to get hops,â&#x20AC;? Johnson says. But some wonder how dire the shortage really was. Tony Magee, president of Lagunitas Brewing Company, observes that between the height of the panic and the apparent return of availability months laterâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;when dealers abruptly began quoting prices for eager brewersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;no harvest had taken place. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I remember talking on the phone to [my brokers] in December of â&#x20AC;&#x2122;07, after the harvest, and they were saying they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the hops,â&#x20AC;? Magee says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Then they called in February saying they had them, and I was like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Wait a minute! If you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the hops just three months ago, where did they come from?â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Others have suggested that the fall 2007 harvest may have been held in temporary storage warehouses until prices had escalated satisfactorily. The timing of events has stirred Klischâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s suspicions, as well. â&#x20AC;&#x153;As soon as I signed my contract, we saw people online selling hops,â&#x20AC;? he recalls. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a sign of a shortage.â&#x20AC;? But certain so-called aromatic varieties favored by craft brewers did, in fact, become so genuinely scarce that some small brewers had to rearrange their beer recipes to account for unavailability. According to Jim Solberg, manager and CEO of Indie Hops, a supplier in Portland, it was a lack of communication between brokers and brewers in the years before the panic that caused the aromatics shortage. Solberg explains that farmers at the time were answering to the mega-breweriesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; demands by steadily replacing their relatively obscure aromatic varieties with high-alpha, extra-bitter varietiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the kinds favored by the large companiesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the brokers, says Solberg, didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t warn the brewers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The merchants never told the craft brewers what was happening,â&#x20AC;? he says. Then, quite abruptly in 2008, some of the aromatic varieties were gone. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If craft brewers had signed contracts for these hops years earlier,â&#x20AC;? says Solberg, â&#x20AC;&#x153;farmers wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have run out and prices would have remained lower, too.â&#x20AC;? In the past 18 months, Northwest hop acreage has increased by 30 percent, or about 10,000 acres, say industry sources, and supplies are back up, though just how diminished those supplies ever were could remain a subject of speculation for years. Why, Magee asks, after such a panic did the industry not feel greater impacts? â&#x20AC;&#x153;So this big gun goes off, but the bullet never lands?â&#x20AC;? At Marin Brewing, Johnson says that at the height of the crisis all signs pointed toward a genuine shortage. Yet it appears to have been nothing that some extra cash couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fix. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There seems to have been a shortage, but I think if you really wanted hops you could get them,â&#x20AC;? Johnson says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It just depended on what you would pay.â&#x20AC;?

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Take-back legislation challenges manufacturers, makes WALL-E proud By Juliane Poirier

C

he movie WALL-E is a must-see, both as a perfect example of classic science fiction (futuristic world revealing uncomfortable truths about the present one) and as a glimpse at what earth might look like if weâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;oops!â&#x20AC;&#x201D;bury it in trash. In WALL-Eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world, humans languish for centuries in a space station because the trash gets so out of control down on Earth that nothing can live there. Up in space, we get fat and lazy riding in powered vehicles and overeating processed food until neither bones nor brains can hold the species erect. (What did I say about scifi?) But there is a happy ending to WALL- E, and some recent good news about our actual gargantuan garbage problem. In California, we bury or incinerate 42 million tons of trash a year. The good news? Hit-and-run trashing from businesses is being challenged by a city leader near you, including jurisdictions in Napa, Sonoma and Marin counties. These communities want new laws demanding manufacturers to take responsibility for the excess packaging and toxic disposables they dump on consumers. Such legislation might make us less like the nearly boneless humans in the movie, save us money and help preserve our favorite neighborhoods. Did I mention it would cut greenhouse gas emissions and solve landfillshortage problems? Most of the stuff we throw away is packaging, neither reusable nor recyclable. After we pay for our goods, we pay again for getting rid of our packaging, and then for the disposal of electronic goods that become obsolete so rapidly. Toxic discards need special handling, which costs extra. For example, Del Norte County calculated that disposing properly of mercury-containing florescent bulbs was $7,500 per ton, compared to $100 per ton for other trash (their garbage rate is high because they have to truck their trash to Oregon). How can ratepayers possibly afford to cover costs like that? In other countries, those bulbs go back to the manufacturers who made them. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the law. But California has no such law, and jurisdictions have to cover the costs for

flagrant business waste. They have to dig new landfills or truck the trash while ratepayers foot the bill. Rather than dig up more land or keep raising rates to cover astronomically high disposal costs, jurisdictions want manufacturers to be responsible for take-back programs and smarter packaging. The logic is that if companies have to pay for the extra garbage they create, they are going to create a lot less of it. American companies that make international export products are held accountable elsewhere but refuse to do the same here in the States. So communities around the country have banded together under the auspices of the National League of Cities (NLC) to make them do it. The NLC at its national meeting in San Antonio this month adopted a resolution to make manufacturers manage discarded products. The resolution urges Congress to back local governments that wish to create legislation to make producers responsible in this manner. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Communities are driving this change from the bottom up,â&#x20AC;? says California Product Stewardship Council representative Heidi Sanborn. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so exciting is that we have cities from all over the country on the same page on this issue, speaking in one voice. The council was formed three years ago, and already well over a hundred jurisdictions are speaking to the state and national government.â&#x20AC;? According to Sanborn, any take-back rule is primarily intended to put responsibility back on manufacturers, because they are the only ones who can redesign packaging. It follows that costs for redesigned product packaging will be carried to buyers in the cost of the item; however, this increased cost helps to correct a â&#x20AC;&#x153;distorted market,â&#x20AC;? in which the real costs (including proper disposal of toxic or nonbiodegradable matter) are externalized and placed upon the shoulders of communities and their ratepayers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This means the distorted market will be corrected,â&#x20AC;? Sanborn underscores. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The consumer will see the full cost of products, and market competition will force manufacturers to produce cost-effective recycling programs.â&#x20AC;? Take-back legislation will change the world, and make WALL-E proud.

Hit-andrun trashing from businesses is being challenged by a city leader near you, including jurisdictions in Napa, Sonoma and Marin counties.

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1TTcD_ My true-life story of the Russian mafia, rampant mayo and, naturally, borscht By Ari Le Vaux

;

ate at night on a train in Siberia, I had a run-in with the Russian mob over a bowl of borscht. I should have listened to the little voice in my gut when I entered the dining car at the back of the train, because something was wrong. This wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the other dining cars scattered along the halfmile iron serpent winding its way north from Ulan Batar, Mongolia, to Irkutsk, Siberia. The back half of this dining car was stacked high with boxes. Two heavily made-up babes played poker and smoked cigarettes at a table, while electronic trance music thumped relentlessly, masking the pounding of the train. Intrigued yet nervous, I sat down and ordered borscht. A large woman smiled sympathetically as she took my order. I never saw her again. A stone-faced man brought a bowl of faintly purple water, in which pieces of sliced hot dog floated

among stray shards of cabbage. While it was easily the weakest excuse for borscht ever, the sight of the chef standing in the galley door fondling his machete-sized knife inspired enough appetite for me to finish my bowl. Then came the bill: $50. I protested, using gestures and pointing at the menu to communicate the accounting error; the borscht was advertised at $3 a bowl. The server kept his arms folded and then employed gestures of his own, picking up various pieces of tableware to explain that I also had to pay for the use of the silverware, plates, salt, pepper and napkins. After further protest on my part, he made another gesture, moving his hand across his thigh in a slicing motion. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mafia,â&#x20AC;? he said. The babes kept playing poker. The chef double-checked the sharpness of his knife in the galley door. I paid and got out of there. Later that night, in a train station on some windswept plain, the dining car at the end of the

train was removed. While that overpriced meal certainly left a bad taste in my mouth, I suppose it did qualify as borscht, if only because borscht is such a general term for a wide category of Eastern European soups. The name comes from the Russian â&#x20AC;&#x153;borshch,â&#x20AC;? which means cow parsnip (the plant is widely distributed in the United States as well, where it goes by the common name â&#x20AC;&#x153;hogweed.â&#x20AC;?) While often considered to be synonymous with â&#x20AC;&#x153;beet soup,â&#x20AC;? borscht can be made with cabbage, tomato or sorrel, to name just a few of the common main ingredients. In The Gold Cook Book, chef Louis P. De Gouy describes a Polish borscht (bortsch Polonaise) made from, among other things, duck, leeks, beets, egg whites and crushed egg shells. In many regions, borscht is served with a dollop of sour cream or a dollop of mayo if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in Russia, where mayo has achieved a standing on par with vodkaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;when a vessel is opened for the first time, the cap is often thrown away. &+ THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

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This throwing-away-the-cap ritual is something I learned only a few days after my run-in with the Russian mafia. When we were stuck in a whiteout while driving a monster truck across the frozen surface of Lake Baikal, we opened vodka and threw away the cap. When I was served a bowl of chicken soup in a fishing village on the shore of Lake Baikal, we threw away the cap of mayo. The size of the mayo dollops heaped into those steaming bowls of soup left me forever changed. Whatever itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made of or served with, at the end of the day borscht remains cold-weather peasant comfort food. Like ratatouille, polenta, sausage and coq au vin, borscht wears the â&#x20AC;&#x153;peasant foodâ&#x20AC;? banner with dignity and grace, proof that a culinary masterpiece can be made from the most humble ingredients. Even though my dear mother makes a fantastic cabbage borscht, my favorite is a variation Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve developed based on the beet borscht recipe in The Joy of Cooking. Trim a pound of beets, cut them into quarters, place them in a baking dish, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake at 400 degrees until theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re soft, and let them cool. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re afraid of skins, pull them off. (The skins wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hurt you; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll add vitamins and a nice earthy quality to the borscht.) Slice the cooked beets. Meanwhile, cut a pound of red meat, like beef or venison, into cubes, and brown the meat in oil in the bottom of a soup pot or Dutch oven. After the meat has browned, add a quart of stock (I like chicken stock, if not homemade then the Better Than Bouillon brand), a quart of water, and four or five chopped medium tomatoes (or a 28 ounce can, drained and chopped). Simmer. When the meat becomes tender, add two to four cups shredded cabbage, two chopped medium onions, two sliced carrots, three sliced celery stalks or a sliced medium-size celeriac, and the roast beets, with enough water to cover everything, and simmer. As it simmers, adjust the water to maintain your desired proportion of broth to chunks. After half an hour, add the juice of a lemon, two tablespoons cider vinegar, four cloves chopped garlic and salt and pepper to taste. Adjust water content a final time and simmer for 15 minutes. Serve with a garnish of dill or chervil. Now open a jar of mayo and throw the cap over your shoulder. Add a dollop of mayo (or sour cream or crème fraĂŽche) to your bowl, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mix it in. Rather, allow the dollop to float like an iceberg in your bowl, with soft corners occasionally breaking off and drifting onto your spoon. The broth is tart with lemon, vinegar and tomato, and rich with vegetal flavor. It gives a tasty counterbalance to the meat and beet chunks, while the mayo/sour cream/crème fraĂŽche unifies the constituents under a layer of white. The soup is a majestic earthy tapestry, something those mafia guys would have been more justified in charging $50 for. Indeed, lesser food is regularly priced higher in many big-city restaurants, though they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t usually threaten to break your legs if you complain.


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THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

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?>AE830 ne of 20 areas in the United States that annually participates, Sonoma County gears up for the eighth Dining Out for Life restaurant bash on Thursday, Dec. 3. The idea, which last year raised $80,000 from Sonoma County restaurants alone, is magniďŹ cently simple: Go out to eat at your favorite restaurant. Boompf! Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve helped beneďŹ t some one suffering from HIV-related illness. Just make sure to do it on Dec. 3 and that the meal, lunch or dinner, is one from which 25 to 50 percent of the tab is slated for donation. (Only a small handful of participating restaurants are including breakfast in their donations, and Gratonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house of polenta, Willow Wood Market Cafe, for example, a terriďŹ cally popular breakfast spot, isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t among them, restricting its giving to dinner tabs.)

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The Jimtown Store, Mirepoix, K&L Bistro and Dawn Ranch Lodge are among those houses tithing a full half of the tab to charity; Sushi Hana and Sushi Tozai are among those donating 25 percent from both food and alcohol sales to the cause. Everyone involved is doing good. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of those classic win-win-win situations that helps launch the holidays. Patrons get an excellent meal, restaurateurs get excellent patrons, and Food for Thought, the Sonoma County AIDS Food Bank gets some excellent and much-needed dosh. To see the full list of participating restaurants and make a reservation, go to www.diningoutforlife.com and pull Sonoma County down on the regions tab. For those who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have time to commit to a full-on dinner, the Epicurean Connection hosts a reception that night from 6pm to 8pm. Admission is free, but a lovely canned good donation for Food for Thought is encouraged. Ten percent of all sales that night will be donated to Dining Out for Life. 18812 Sonoma Hwy., Sonoma. 707. 935.7960

Gretchen Giles

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Free Wi-Fi â&#x20AC;&#x153;We serve organic local foodĂ&#x2030;Â&#x203A;Rent our space for your next party Check out our twitter page twitter.com/GuayakiMateBar

Music in the AchĂŠ Room December 5th Paul-Eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Phantom Electric CafĂŠ Presents The Prairie Project featuring Tim Gennert, Timin Murray, Paul Nicholson and Guest Artist - 8-11pm We now have Yoga every Mon & Wed from 5 to 6:30 PM New students buy 2 classes and get one free!!!! 6782 Sebastopol Ave, Sebastopol

707-824-6644 www.guayaki.com Monâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Fri 11amâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;3pm | Closed Sat & Sun

THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

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THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

21


SHOP AT WHISTLESTOP ANTIQUES Where you'll find everything from armoires to stocking stuffers!

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2078;; F8=4AH ven the cat lacks pretension here. Sprawled out on an old swivel chair, clearly unspoiled by crowds, she meows plaintively at new arrivals. A droopyeared winery dog ďŹ&#x201A;ops down on the concrete nearby, a tenuous few inches from the heels of tasters who rock backward as they bottoms-up their last drop, while a portly dachshund warily eyes a husky from the comfort of his own chair. Neighborhood characters and Sunday cyclists trickle in by twos and threesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the third member of the party being most often, another dog.

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Rocket Cafe C A F E & C AT E R I N G

Tea Pot for 2 for Price of Single Pot: Second Truffle Free Call now to place holiday gift orders!

Monthly menu changes with cuisines from around the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;inspired dishes with the usual Sushi on Friday & Saturday as well as Brunch on Sundays from 9:30am-2:00pm. Dinner - Wed-Sat 5:30-Closing Sunday 9:30-2pm Mon-â&#x20AC;?Industry Night Discountsâ&#x20AC;? 707.829.1181 6988 McKinley Street Sebastopol (beside Whole Foods)

Cheapest Vacation Around!! 18812 Sonoma Hwy 707-933-9755

Cahill occupies a few unprepossessing warehouses just steps away from the West Country Trail, Green Valleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own little Weinwanderweg, from which sidetracked ramblers ďŹ nd their way to this ramshackle shed. Scattered with furniture both used and disused, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like an oversized backyard clubhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but no, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a 200-gallon beer bong over there in the corner. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tank full of Cahillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jug wine blend, and the very reason I sought this place out. Boutique purveyors of jug wine delight the hearts of connoisseurs of all things backward and antiquated yet also boast modern-day green business cred. Cahillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Red Blend ($18 for one gallon) is endlessly reďŹ llable at the point of sale, just like vintners and green grocers sold wine in the old days, when the electriďŹ ed Petaluma and Santa Rosa Railway rolled through Green Valley. Poured innocently from the dregs of a long-opened jeroboam, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bit long in the tooth, so we pick up a fresh jug for porch times later. Sure enough, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a robust, gutsy red, with woodsy, oak essence, juicy blackberry and olallieberry. But wait, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still more wine to sip from funky little liqueur glasses: singular and rustic Sauvignon Blancs ($10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$16); an aromatic 2005 Anderson Valley Pinot Noir ($28) with bright raspberry, jammy fruit and a cleanly earthy, dry ďŹ nish; the surprising 2006 Cole Ranch Cabernet Sauvignon ($15), with the nose of pressed, new wine, the palate of a Pinot. But thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not all. Winemaker Don Payne also runs Petalumaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stillwater Spirits distillery. Cahill is not licensed to pour the grappa and the pear eau-de-vie (featuring a whole pear in each bottle), but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s already a veritable backroads hoochfest here. The port-style 2005 Xport Lot No. 7 ($15) is a sweet, seductive medley of nectarine, hazelnut and chocolate; the 24 Degrees ($18), a crystal clear, Chardonnay-based 48-proof spirit for mixing cocktails in beer and wine-licensed bars, like soju. Clear and potent, with a faint citrus aroma, it would make a smashing stand-in for white tequila in margaritasâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also good in Red Bull, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re told with unalloyed lack of wine country airs. Meow. Cahill Winery, 4950 Ross Road, Sebastopol. Open Friday, 1pm to 5pm; Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Sunday, 11am to 5pm. No fee. 707.823.1335.

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Handmade Dark Chocolates, Local Ingredients New Holiday Flavors & New Caramels

James Knight

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THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

23


463A 4B612 Luckily, Radio Flyer, the wagon and tricycle brand that made memories and destroyed teeth when you were a kid, is still in business and sturdy as ever, and getting easier to assemble all the time. The Radio Flyer #53 Deluxe Steer and Stroll tricycle with co-pilot feature has a great innovation: a backseat driver bar for when your child is still learning to steerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and learning to take direction. Instead of ruining a perfectly cheerful Christmas morning shouting, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sophie! Not toward the street!â&#x20AC;? the parent can steer away from danger. Of course, even the littlest kids tend to grow up over time, despite the promises they made when they were born, and when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re prepared to ride alone, the backseat driver bar can be easily removed. Then with a great swell of pride, you can watch her as she starts to pedal on her own, ready to take on big challenges and responsibilities that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never have thought she could. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sophie! SOPHIE! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!â&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Austin Sardella

H>D2>D;34E4=B0H8C6;>FB The annual resurrection of the claymation oeuvre screams â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;holidaysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; for some of us.

6Tc<TcWT6^^S>]T

The radically ecological, perversely philosophical, ultimately economical guide to holiday gift-giving

3

onâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get us wrongâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;we know the names of the three wise men and all eight reindeer, and we can sing most of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Good King Wenceslas.â&#x20AC;? Also, we are fans of the Rankin-Bass claymation Christmas specials, so please do not bother us with invitations to do less important things on the nights those programs are airing. Because we do love the holidays. But weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had it up to hereâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;by which we mean way up thereâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with Christmas waste. Not just the wrapping paper, which is bad enough but can be recycled. No, this is a problem with the holiday gifts themselves, purchased hastily in the weeks leading up to Dec. 25 in a white-knuckle drive to get something, anything, under the tree. This can end in the unfortunate triumph of quantity over quality: we buy multiple second-rate items instead of one good one. And in the

24

12.02.09-12.08.09

nature of second-rate items, these gifts soon break or wear out or just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get used at all because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re of poor quality to begin with. Within a couple of years, off to the landfill they go to make room for replacements that are just as cheap, just as shoddy, just as surely headed for the trash heap on the same short schedule. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dump that racket now! Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an idea: buy the good one from the get-go. It costs more up front, but in the long run it saves money, saves the hassle of replacing the item later and is better for the planet. Instead of the $10 headlamp that might last one camping season (but probably wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t), spring for the hardy Petzl. Skip the flimsy handmixer and get the aspiring cook the sturdy KitchenAid, the one that would break your foot if it fell off the counter (not that such a thing could ever happen; it weighs far too much to push).

THE BOHEMIAN



Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a mild-mannered, sociable revolution, and in these pages weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re jump-starting it with a list of quality items suited to different age groups that will stand the test of time.â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Traci Hukill

Toddler Tales Ah, the telltale signs of Christmas Eve: the careful placement of milk and cookies for the charitable red trespasser, the hushed tittering of children pretending to sleep, the muffled curses of Santa as he furiously assembles the big-ticket giftâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a pink tent or remote-control car or bipedal death machineâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; before sunrise, only to be completely destroyed by lunchtime, possibly taking one or two good little boys and girls with it. It just wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be Christmas without all these things, would it?

Pots & Pans Owner and head chef Michael Gyetvan of Azzurro Pizzeria e Enoteca in Napa used to cook at home with aluminum pans bought from restaurant suppliers, but he noticed that they tended to warp over time. So what does an award-winning chef use in his own residential kitchen? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a pretty firm believer that All-Clad is the way to go,â&#x20AC;? he says, citing the Pennsylvaniamade cookware thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been around for four decades. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Obviously, they cost a little bit more, but with the durability, the evenness of cookingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;they last a long time.â&#x20AC;? Gyetvan uses restaurant-supply pans at Azzurro, but heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cooked at home with his All-Clad pans for six years now, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re â&#x20AC;&#x153;excellent.â&#x20AC;? Like most serious cooks, Gyetvan also swears by the cast-iron skillet. He found his Lodge skillet 15 years ago at a flea market, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still a top-quality workhorse. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I use it for anything from fried chicken to cooking steaks,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can bake in it, you can make macaroni and cheese in it, you can make a stew in it. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just super versatile.â&#x20AC;? Lodge cookware, still owned by descendants of the original Lodge family, has been made in Tennessee since 1896, and some pans from the turn of the last century


are still in use on stovetops throughout the country. “As long as you season it when you first get it and take care of it,” Gyetvan says, “it’s one of the most versatile and longlasting pieces of kitchen equipment you could ever own.”—Gabe Meline

College Coiffure A broke college student’s options are limited when it comes to good hair. Running around from class to class and subsisting on a steady diet of alcohol and ramen can doom a girl’s hair to a life of frizzery. The solution? The Bespoke Labs T3 Featherweight hair dryer. One of the best on the market, this Consumer Reports– approved hair dryer from heaven has the potential to send curly-haired maidens to a utopia where rats’ nests cease to exist and split ends are nothing but a myth. This ionic masterpiece contains crushed tourmaline jewels (we wouldn’t joke about this) that, when heated, produce negative ions and infrared heat to ensure a speedy blow-dry and shinier, static-free hair. While I’m no chemistry major, I do know that the presence of negative ions will seal the moisture in the hair’s cuticle, leaving it ready to brave the elements.

This bad boy may seem a bit pricey, ranging from $80 to $200, but the T3 is sure to last a lot longer than a dinky Conair that will leave the ladies looking like Sideshow Bob. No girl deserves to spend hours styling only to step outside and watch her hair instantly grow like a Chia pet. So when the bells are ringing and the children are singing and the college students are heading home for the holidays, consider giving the student in your life the gift of fabulous, shiny hair worthy of any winter wonderland. It’ll blow her mind.—Rula al-Nasrawi

Sling It & Fling It Every holiday season, my parents take

me to buy my annual messenger bag. Not because it’s a cherished ritual, but because every time I step off the plane, my mom wrinkles her nose at the ragged shell of the prior year’s messenger bag. Most importantly, no real messenger would deign to use my messenger bag.

So I called one—a messenger, that is. “Chrome bags,” says Rick Graves from Clutch Couriers without hesitation. “We use them in all weather, riding on a daily basis.” Chrome bags are made from Cordura, a nylon fabric used in military wear, and all Chromes are guaranteed for life. That means even though my Secret Santa will be shelling out somewhere between $80 and $180, I’ll never have to go bag shopping with my parents again. Ever. I’ll be asking Santa for the Buran bag ($140), which is technically a laptop bag, a little smaller and trimmer, with ample padding for my computer and a comfy shoulder strap made from seatbelt material. It perfectly skates that fine line between professional and urban. Plus, it avoids the embarrassing issue of sashaying down the street with a half-empty professional messenger bag flopping around on your back in front of real couriers.—Jessica Lussenhop

Turntable Fever With the release this year of the video game DJ Hero, kids will surely be asking for DJ equipment this Christmas. According to DJ Amen, who along with his weekend radio shows on KMEL 106-FM also plays out in clubs once or twice a week, there’s no reason to buy any brand of turntable but Technics 1200s. “There’s nothing else that matches up,” he says, adding that if your budding turntable king gets tired of cutting and scratching, Technics rigidly retains its resale value. “You could have bought Technics 1200s 10 years ago for $500,” he says, “and you could still probably sell a used pair for $350 to $400.”

For cartridges, Amen uses Ortofon’s DJ Q-bert Concorde cartridge, since it sticks well to the record without skipping, and its needle lasts for years. The top mixer these

days is a Rane TTM-57SL, which has the ever-popular Serato Scratch Live software built into it. “It’s the industry standard right now,” says Amen. “You can control your laptop with the mixer; you don’t even have to touch the computer. It’s what people like Jazzy Jeff and DJ AM were using, all the way down to people like me.” The monitors he and all his friends use are M-Audio BX5ADs, and his choice of headphones, which need to be loud and durable, are Technics RPDH 1200s.—G.M.

Bamboo Bedding Luxurious sheets are something every woman adores, whether she knows it yet or not. And once she’s figured that out, finding the perfect linens can become something of an obsession. One option, of course, is the classic highthread count, 100 percent cotton sheet, the kind that’s rough and scratchy for a few years until it finally softens and then, decades later, turns into that magnificent texture that’s part silk, part suede and all delicious. The problem is, they literally don’t seem to be making those anymore. Instead, manufacturers are claiming exorbitant thread counts (500 and 800 are common nowadays) and charging accordingly. But it’s fuzzy math—math that counts the piled portions of threads rather than the warp and weft, math that shrinks and pills on the first washing. Consumer Reports busted one maker who claimed a thread count of 1,200; when tallied in the traditional manner, the thread count totaled 416.

Very Old Boys The modern video game geek is faced with three choices when it comes to home consoles: Nintendo Wii ($199), Microsoft Xbox 360 ($199) and Sony Playstation 3 ($299). Each system has its perks; the Wii has the motion sensitive “Nunchuk” controller and the Mario franchise; Xbox 360 has the big online community and the Halo series; and Playstation 3 has the multiple functions and warp-speed processor. So which system will put more joy in your stick? If it’s pure entertainment value you’re after, the resounding answer is the Playstation 3. Sure it costs a Benjamin more than the Xbox 360 and the Wii, but that extra cash buys you a Blu-ray player, a wireless internet browser and movie downloader, high definition 1080p output, free online play, 120GB of storage and the ability to also play PS1 and PS2 titles. The Wii, with its small processor, doesn’t approach high-definition output or play even “regular” DVDs. The Xbox 360 boasts a high def gaming output that’s nearly as high as the PS3, but you’ll have to fork over an extra $100 for an adapter if you want to watch HD DVDs (Blu-ray’s all-but-extinct evil twin). And neither system allows you to play old games from its predecessors or browse the internet for free. When it first dropped in 2006, the newest Playstation’s success suffered from a huge $599 price tag and a lack of big-name exclusive games. Today, both issues have been remedied with the price cut in half and titles like Metal Gear Solid 4 and Killzone 2 on shelves, and the long awaited Final Fantasy 13 title coming in a few months. Holiday cash may be harder than ever to come by, but if your loved one is a gamer who also watches movies, uses the internet or owns an HD television, you’ll be doing him or her a favor in the long run by going with the PS3.—Curtis Cartier

Enter the 100 percent viscose sheet set. Made from bamboo, these are smooth, silky sheets that are room temperature rather than cold when you first get in them; they’re almost like a very fine flannel in that regard, except that, somehow, they’re cool in the summer. And fast-growing bamboo is, of course, the ultimate ecofriendly material. They’re not cheap—a 250 thread-count set from Dreamsack will run upward of $200—but they’re that elusive combination of high-quality, durable, green and luxurious, and they’re guaranteed to make getting that all-important beauty rest a decidedly decadent affair.—T. H.

Plugged-in to Go Richard Lang, CEO of software company BURST.com, takes a phone call in between multiple meetings. He hesitates for a moment when asked what one good thing he would like to receive as his holiday gift. Then, like the proverbial light bulb suddenly lighting up over his head, the answer clicks. “An electric car,” Lang says, “a Tesla sedan.” Lang has apparently researched his choice thoroughly, and the reasoning behind it is wide in scope. Zero pollution, 300 miles per electric charge, zero gas usage, 0 to 60 in five and a half seconds. No exhaust. Silent. Seats seven. American-made, locally, '+

THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

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in Menlo Park. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Unlike Detroit, Tesla has a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;can-doâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; attitude of what American cars could be,â&#x20AC;? Lang says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and they cost less than a small BMW.â&#x20AC;? Add in a nice sound system, and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be ready to rollâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in 2012, when the first model is ready for market. Langâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s preferred color would be a dark green, â&#x20AC;&#x153;like the forests we need to save. It would remind people of why we need to go electric.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Suzanne Daly

Zippy The soft shell jacket is one of the great inventions of textile science, tailored for winter fun. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made of the stuff Gore-Tex calls Windstopper. Feather-light, with a texture halfway between neoprene and cashmere, this miracle fabric is windproof, virtually waterproof, breathable and insulates like a wetsuit. The Marmot Sharp Point Soft Shell runs about $200. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cut perfectlyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it fits snugly, but thanks to its trademarked â&#x20AC;&#x153;Angel-Wingâ&#x20AC;? design, it allows for a remarkable freedom of movement. With a zippered turtleneck collar, velcro wrist-closures and drawstring waist, it battens down completely to keep blowing snow out and body heat in. And pit-zips prevent overheating if your idea of winter fun requires some exertion; as a cross-country ski enthusiast, I appreciate that feature on the uphill runs.

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Downhill skiers would probably prefer the Super-Hero, a somewhat warmer and slightly bulkier version of this jacket. Because the Sharp Point is designed for active wear, it does not work as a winter coat in colder climes. If Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m relaxing after the sun has gone down and the temperature has dropped, I wear it under my tweed coat or motorcycle jacket. I suppose it can also be

worn under a hard-shell parka, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m oldschool.â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Eric Johnson

See & Be Seen Winter weather doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop avid cyclists from tearing up their favorite routes. They just need the right gear, even if that means splurging on a few necessary â&#x20AC;&#x153;good ones.â&#x20AC;? Kim Baenisch, executive director of the Marin County Bike Coalition, puts highquality, practical accessories on her wish list this year. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A really great headlight and rear blinking light is the kind of thing any cyclist will use, because one of the greatest dangers is being invisible at night,â&#x20AC;? says Baenisch. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But also by law, you need to be riding with a light at night.â&#x20AC;?

With enough LED power to guide Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sleigh, the light Baenisch would put on her bike is the Light & Motion Stella ($270, www.coloradocyclist.com). To stay visible and warm during the day, Baenisch recommends the Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Touring Jacket ($150, www.showerspass.com) in Yelling Yellow, a windproof and waterproof zip-up that will last for seasons to come. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is sturdy enough to withstand the rain, but also breathable and makes me visible while riding in dark conditions with reflective banding. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something I already own,â&#x20AC;? she confesses. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had this jacket for a couple years, but I think is a fantastic piece of gear.â&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Tori Masucci

Flowering from the Stem I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t care how the rustic peasants in


Provence drink their plonk, even if it does look romantic in the movies. I shudder at the very idea of serving an everyday albariño, much less that special occasion Burgundy, in some cheap, generic wineglass. I want classy Riedel stemware for the ages, made by experts to flatter, enhance and maximize every last drop of precious vino. Yes, it does matter what size, shape and density of glassware you use. If the bowl of the glass is too small, the wine just doesn’t have room to “open,” which means in plain English that there’s not enough space for oxygen to blend with the wine and magnify the flavors and sensory qualities. And when the whole point is to taste the wine, well, you’re essentially defeating the experience.

opportunities—a purebred dog and rescue one. That’s my wish.”—T.M.

An Apple a Decade

Also, if the lip of the glass is crude and thick (as in glassware used at bureaucratic lunches), then the wine cannot be guided to the exact point of tongue and palate to deliver the most flavor. Thick glass insults both the drink and the drinker. If the glassware is chunky, the experience is chunky. Every Riedel glass is carefully designed with ample room for flavor expansion and to deliver specific varietals to their intended taste bud. Riedel makes crystal glasses for every wine varietal, with 24 percent lead content crystal to guarantee color-heightening clarity. A great wine deserves a great glass. And a decent wine will sip much better than it otherwise would when poured into a great glass. That’s why I want Riedel. Worried about breakage? At $30 a glass, one tends to be careful.—Christina Waters

Get ’em a Mac! Yes, you’ll have to spend more upfront. And no, you might not find a dirty little third-party app that converts the icons in ChickenEyeball TurboXtreem into Windows Media movies. But by shelling out more for a Macintosh computer than for a PC, you’ll give your giftee a computer that will work, and last, for years. Let’s talk tech: Macs have firewalls already built in, don’t attract every virus, worm and Trojan horse ever born, and come with free security updates that automatically appear, download at the click of a button and virtually self-install. In addition, Macs feature decent operating systems built upward, in English, from their core. Each OS is built on the last, so unless you want the newest and grooviest, updating is optional. And when you do update, you’ll find that each new version is actually better, rather than less bad, with most features right in the same familiar places, but working even faster and more easily.

Do The Holidays

December 4

Spreckels Performing Arts Center 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park www.spreckelsonline.com

Box Office: 588-3400

Someone to Love Sonoma State University’s Stevenson Hall is covered in old ivy, its vines now crawling over more of its north face than back when President Ruben Armiñana took office in 1992. As the last of autumn’s red and gold leaves fell outside of his window, Armiñana took a few days away from his Stevenson office to recover from surgery. His “good one” is a humble reminder that man’s best friend can offer comfort and companionship for years to come. “We lost a dog two months ago, and the one I have now, a flat-coat retriever, is a bit bored by himself. I am looking for another purebred, but from a rescue place as I did with my present dog, Hubert. This way, I get the best of two

And if a Mac ever does crash, which is rare, you won’t go through sudden collapses into low-budget ’60s sci-fi-style black screens filled with gibberish, or urgent demands that you move 350 files—all named jibble.kibble— from drive B to drive C before everything goes to hell. Macs have one drive, and it doesn’t care where things are. If you’ve got an app, you can use it. Finally, there are the positives Macs are famous for; namely, their ability to help those with graphic and artistic talent. ' . THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

27


Vacation Christmas eeyore’s

twisted christmas LIVE 7 ! Will Durst Steve Jaxon Michele Anna Jordan Debi Durst Lynn Ruth Miller Tim Kniffin Frances Lee McCain

Saturday December 5 7:30 pm

featuring

glaser center 547 Mendocino Ave. Santa Rosa (parking @ 7th St. Garage)

(of the movie 'Gremlins')

Tickets: $20 adv. $25 at the door Tickets sold online at www.brownpapertickets.com Also at Copperfields Book Stores, The Last Record Store, & Back Door Disc

An evening of offbeat, off-the-wall Holiday tales, read aloud by some of the North Bay’s funniest, most dangerous people, plus a musical tribute to the Christmas songs of Weird Al Yankovic, by “accordian babe” Renee De La Prade.

This event is a fundraiser for Food for Thought Food Bank and the UUCSR

the 7 principles of a successful christmas

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28

11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Crumbs at Midnight • Skid Row Santa

David Templeton’s

FUNCTIONAL ART

Peace on Earth fine & fashion jewelry ~ handmade gifts

146 N. Main Street, Sebastopol • 707.829.3036 10am–6pm • artisanafunctionalart.com

pendant by Saundra Messinger

mr. spock’s first christmas • the snow men


',

6>>3685C

Duplicating files perfectly in their native format takes just one key combo. Copying, pasting, importing, exporting, zooming, minimizing and converting are all a cinch. And the colors and rendering are gorgeous. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why nearly every film studio and graphics shop in the United States uses Macs. We say, give your loved one the same quality.â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Paul Wagner

Sound Waves Hoytus Rolen always greets customers at Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Music in Sebastopol with a big smile. With graying dread locks captured by his signature colorful woven cap and heavy ethnic jewelry of silver and beads, Rolen exudes a natural warmth. His calm demeanor serves him well when dealing with customers or his young music students. When asked what Santa might bring him if he wanted just one good item, the shaggy musician answers without hesitation. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like a Bose Wave music system (about $500). I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need another system

made harmonica, and I think Seydels are as good and often better than some custom harps Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve played.â&#x20AC;? Harmonicas arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only thing on Musselwhiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind this Christmas. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The other gift Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to mention is I once saw a flying alarm clock for people who just turn the alarm off and go back to sleep,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The clock has a propeller like a helicopter, and when the alarm goes off, it sounds like a helicopter, it lifts off and flies around the room and you have to get up, chase it, catch it and put it back in the clock base to turn it off. Well, by then you are definitely up and out of bed and not going back to sleep.â&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;G.M.

                 

       

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for the rest of my life, and I could listen to anything better than Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever heard it.â&#x20AC;? Another friend enters the shopâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the conversation. Maceo Campbell, a musician with the Peace Warriors whose giant laugh mirrors his ample physique, chimes in. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got to have a subwoofer, too. When you add the subwoofer, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to be in heaven!â&#x20AC;? Rolen nods, and adds that although the system can be moved anywhere, he would most likely listen to it in his studio, and never come out. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Except to pee!â&#x20AC;? Maceo shouts, to laughs all around.â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.D.

Put Your Lips Together and . . . Charlie Musselwhite shudders at the thought of cheaply made harmonicas given as stocking stuffers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I only use Seydel harmonicas,â&#x20AC;? says the 23-time W.C. Handy Awardâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;winning bluesman. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Seydel company is even older than Hohner, and they still make them by hand, one at a time, in a little town in Germany. Hohners are now mass-produced in China. The Seydel people make a wide variety of harps, and the ones I use have stainless steel reeds. They can be initially costly, but when you realize that one Seydel will outlast a dozen other brands, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re actually saving money. The only better harmonica would be a custom-

HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE & Community Tree Lighting

Not Too Much to Ask Pt. Reyes Stationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bovine Bakery smells heavenly the moment you enter, and the mouthwatering sights match the scents. Behind the counter, longtime owner Bridget Devlin looks perplexed as she ponders what her one good gift might be. She asks the question of the other women working the dough in the back. Tugging at one of her blond, shoulder-length braids, brows furrowed over her bright blue eyes, she sighs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really want much of anything.â&#x20AC;? Rethinking her statement, she comes up with the idea of an original piece of art, refining her request to â&#x20AC;&#x153;an original Alexander Calder hanging mobile, in bright, primary colors.â&#x20AC;? It would hang aloft in her high-ceilinged bedroom, moving with the air currents. Co-worker Elsie Riley has no problem figuring out what she would want. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just give me $5,000 a month for the rest of my life,â&#x20AC;? she smiles. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would be quite happy with that.â&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.D.

Featuring the Susan Comstock Swingtet Sunday, November 29th, 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6pm In the Gallery:

Botanical Grammar Paintings & Drawings by Gary Brewer

6671 Front St/Hwy 116 Downtown Forestville 707-887-0799 11-6 Thursâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Mon (closed Tues & Weds) quicksilvermineco.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

29


463A

2DCÂź=Âź?0BC4 Scrapbooking, it seems, is nothing at all new.

The Annual Winter Faire at

SummerďŹ eld Waldorf School and Farm December 4th Adult-Only Holiday Shopping Event 5:30 - 8 pm

December 5th Family Holiday Faire Crafting, Gifts, Music, and More! 11am - 4 pm For more info go to: www.summerďŹ eldwaldorf.org 655 Willowside Road Santa Rosa 30

11.25.09-12.01.09

BT]bdP[5aXbb^]

Coffee-table books sure to banish any Kindle urges By Michael S. Gant

8

have, under dire circumstances, been reduced to reading downloaded stories on the ultimate popular-culture fetish object, the iPhone. All the more reason still to covet the ultimate intellectual fetish object: the coffee-table art book. Nothing yet nurtured in Jeff Bezosâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; brain can reproduce the sensual frisson of fingering the thick, glossy pages of a fine-arts volume. When you give a book, make sure that it is literally worth the paper itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s printed on, full of high-quality images and packed with significant text, something worth reading and displaying. Several sterling new publications fit the bill. They can all be easily obtaining by dropping in on a local bookstore, which is a gift in and of itself. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Insects of Surinamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by Maria Sibylla Merian (Taschen; $39.99). For a woman to pack up her daughter and travel to the jungles of Surinam and return three years later with exquisitely detailed, botanically and entomologically accurate and visually stunning paintings of flora and fauna is an impressive achievement. To have done so circa 1700 is nothing short of astonishing. This oversize book reproduces in full folio dimension the colored engravings from her greatest work. The plates demonstrate Merianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s uncanny mix of scientific detail

THE BOHEMIAN



and aesthetic sense, as she arrays curious and colorful insects in various states of metamorphosis flitting around or munching on the branches and leaves of exotic plants. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Who Shot Rock & Roll: A Photographic History, 1955 to the Presentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by Gail Buckland (Knopf; $40). Our memories of famous rockers are determined as much by images as by sounds. Bucklandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book surveys the iconizing efforts of scores of photographers, from the celebrated (Annie Leibovitz and Dennis Hopper) to the obscure. The mostly black-and-white pictures here range from Alfred Wertheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s candid shots of Elvis on the cusp of stardom to the raw action of Ian Dicksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in-the-moment snap of the Ramones in 1977. French photographer JeanPierre Leloir captures Chuck Berry in 1996 putting his tight pants to the ultimate test with a spread-eagle split. Mark Seligerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s closeup of an anguished-looking Neil Young has the power of an Avedon. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Collected Letters of Robinson Jeffers: With selected Letters of Una Jeffers, Vol. One, 1890â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1930â&#x20AC;&#x2122; edited by James Karman (Stanford University Press; $95). California poet Robinson Jeffers has always seemed a formidable, even forbidding figureâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;something about that fortress known as Tor House in Carmel, and verses like â&#x20AC;&#x153;We must unhumanize our views a little,

and become confident / As the rock and ocean that we were made from.â&#x20AC;? This remarkable cache of letters, beginning with a note from the three-year-old Jeffers to his mama, helps to humanize the poet, especially the passionate, sometimes to the point of gushing, exchanges with his wife, Una. There are also illuminating bits of correspondences with publishers, critics and other writers. Coming as it does from a university press, the book is dense with critical apparatus, footnotes and a substantial biographical introduction. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Historical Atlas of the American Westâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by Derek Hayes (UC Press; $39.95). The appeal of old mapsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;richly colored, redolent with the sense of discovery, frequently embellished with artistic flourishesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;has driven some addicts to archival crimes. Luckily, Derek Hayesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Historical Atlas satisfies the cartographical itch within the bounds of the laws. This extralarge selection begins with Native American settlements and runs through the Spanish explorers, early forays by American pioneers, the Gold Rush, the building of the Transcontinental Railroad to the rise of urban centers. Hayes provides considerable context for survey, land grant, topo and tourism maps. A brochure route map for the Great Northern streamliners trumpets the â&#x20AC;&#x153;New Empire Builder,â&#x20AC;? echoing the whole dubious project of Manifest Destiny. A 1940 Arizona Highways guide to the state features scores of tiny vignettes with cowboys, cacti and cattle. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Playing with Pictures: The Art of Victorian Photocollageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by Elizabeth Siegel (Yale University Press; $45). Scrapbooking is faddish now, but it is hardly a new phenomenon. The Victorians (women mostly) delighted in constructing fanciful bound volumes full of clever collages. The rise of photography and, in particular, the carte de visitĂŠ, provided English women of the mid-1800s with endless source material for their imaginative constructions. Many of the examples in this fascinating study involve watercolor backgrounds in which cutout images of the famous have been pasted, frequently in multiple scales and perspectives, creating surprisingly surreal results. In one sample, a painted boy blows bubbles; in the gossamer spheres, one Georgina Berkeley has pasted cut-out heads of her acquaintances. It isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t far from here to Joseph Cornell. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The World in Vogue: People Parties Placesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; edited by Alexandra Kotur (Knopf; $75). Whatever dreams of a life of international indolence we ever strived for have been thoroughly dashed by the Great Recession. But vicarious thrills galore can be found in this paean to wretched excess in that most wretchedly excessive of all human endeavors: high fashion. The aptly homonymic Alexandra Kotur has assembled an enormous collection of large-scale pictures from the bible of well-dressed society, Vogue magazine, covering the last 40 years or so. Some major shutterbugsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Richard Avedon, Bruce Weber, Helmut Newtonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; contribute studio and in situ portraits of society icons, celebs and movie stars like Babe Paley, Warholite Edie Sedgwick, Jackie O. and even Angelina Jolie doing stretching exercises on a Louis Quatorze settee. Oddly, the magazine seems infatuated with the upper echelonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s canine companions: Brooke Astor, resplendent in pink tweed, poses with her dachshund; Jennifer Lopez walks a brace of menacing Dobermans; Naomi Campbell chauffeurs three Dalmatians in a convertible. Weirdest of all is Weberâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s photo of his golden retrievers at a staged doggie wedding.


@A.42

H4B John Rowan is Crumpet the Elf in one of two â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;SantaLand Diariesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; productions this season.

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North Bay theaters prepare for the holiday stage By David Templeton

0

s that great champion of Christmas, Charles Dickens, once wrote, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Time was with most of us, when Christmas Day, encircling all our limited world like a magic ring, left nothing out for us to miss or seek.â&#x20AC;? Typical of Dickens, this sentiment is both lovely and slightly incomprehensible, but one piece does seem reasonably clear: at Christmas time, we tend to seek something a little richer, a little deeper, a little bit more than we expect the rest of the year. So as we gather in those small anthropologically meaningful groups we call â&#x20AC;&#x153;families,â&#x20AC;? our television channels are scheduled full of holiday specials, the radio waves blare songs intended to soften our hearts and the movie theaters trot out at least two or three new Christmas-themed entertainments. Even the world of live theater gets in the act. But there is something different about these live theatrical offerings, an attitude of enhanced community spirit and playful generosity that sets such stuff apart. Between Thanksgiving and New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, the North Bay is a fine example of this, as an already bountiful array of stage companies, dance schools and Christmas Carol junkies fill their collective hearts with that mysterious magic Dickens so blissfully honors in his prose.

The Family Traditions There are few Christmas clichĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as pervasive as the yearly re-arrival of a dozen Nutcrackers (thank you, Mr. Tchaikovsky) and Christmas Carols (same to you, Mr. Dickens). But as certain as such overfamiliar staples are to return to the stage year after year, there are always a few companies eager to put a fresh new spin on these undying favorites.

In an effort to add something new to its own seasonal presentation of the famous â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Nutcracker Ballet,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; the Sebastopol Ballet Company has earned a reputation for putting its money where the Mouse King is, spending a whopping $50,000 to add such unexpected eye-candy as a dancing unicorn, a dancing, pointe-shoe-wearing lobster, plus numerous mermaids and an enormous sea beast. This dazzling alternative to undulating coffee beans runs Dec. 18â&#x20AC;&#x201C;20, at the Analy High School Theater. Call 707.576.3906 for ticket information. . . . Of course, it is easier avoid the common cold than to miss seeing a sign for somebodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s production of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Christmas Carol.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Fortunately, new tricks have a way of slipping up the sleeves of creative companies, as evidenced by the Sonoma County Repertory Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eternally evolving version of the play, with a word-for-word(-ish) script by Preston Lane and Jonathan Moscone. Scott Phillips directs for the first time in years, with a brandnew approach that makes Ebenezer Scrooge even more integral to the action, and a cast of fresh actors are chomping to tackle the stories and numerous manic-depressive delights. It runs through Dec. 20. Call 707.823.0177. . . . Meanwhile, up in Cloverdale, Jim dePriest is helming his own adaptation of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Christmas Carol,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; with an eerie-funny script by Jerry Patch that serves to remind audiences that, warm hearts and sweet sentiments aside, this show is basically just a great big ghost story. This one runs Dec. 11â&#x20AC;&#x201C;19, at the Cloverdale Performing Arts Center. 707.894.2214. . . .

The Odd Relatives No holiday is complete without the appearance of a few slightly cranky, conspicuously on-the-fringes family members. The same is true of theater, where even at

Christmas time the weird stuff always has a place at the table. David Sedarisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; slippery â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;SantaLand Diariesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is a great example, and this year, the North Bay has two of them. Repeating the sold-out success of last year, actor David Yen once again teams up with director Argo Thompson for a decidedly unique production of Sedarisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; nasty-sweet tale, the slightly true story of the authorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hellish days working as an elf at New Yorkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Macyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Department Store. With a cleverly altered script (slipping in juicy tidbits from some of Sedarisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; other holiday essays) this version lands like a herd of tiny reindeer on the stage of Spreckels Performing Arts Center, running Nov. 27â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Dec. 13. Call 707.588.3400. The other production of The SantaLand Diaries, presented by the Pegasus Theater Company in Monte Rio, stars actor John Rowan as the entertainingly exhausted elf in question. This version runs Dec. 5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;20 at the SonomaWest Inn. For info, ring up 707.522.9043. . . . On the never-before-seen side of the tree, Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sixth Street Playhouse pops down the chimney with a world premiere by one of Sonoma Countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite native sons, Shad Willingham. The much-honored Willingham has written a sassy little comedy titled â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Ham for the Holidaysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and will himself be directing the show at Sixth Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intimate Studio Theater. The play follows a squabbling band of radio thespians gathered in a small radiostation studio on Christmas Eve awaiting the arrival of Orson Welles, with whom they plan to present a live play. Stuff goes wrong. Things get broken. Laughs are definitely had. The show runs Dec. 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;20, and further facts may be gleaned by calling 707.523.4185. . . .

The High-Calorie Desserts Meaning no disrespect to turkey, the best part of a Christmas dinner is the pie, that one extra little slice of sweetness that makes the whole day seem just a little more perfect and your bathroom scale just a little more annoying. Every holiday season has its share of rare confectionary events. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Wonderful Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is the Raven Playersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; live radio version of the classic tale of angels, miracles and bipolar bankers, performed by a cast of actors with great voices and a practiced knack for reading their lines and then dropping their pages on the floor. To give it an extra dash of authenticity, this radio show will actually be simulcast on KRCB 91.1-FM. It happens one night, on Dec. 11 at 8pm at the Raven Theater in Healdsburg. Info available only online, at www.ravenplayers.org. . . . And finally, in beautiful Marin County, home to the Ross Valley Players, is an evening of holiday music and stories so tasty and delicious it apparently needs no name. Directed by Linda Dunn, with musical direction by Scott DeTurk, the show is a stocking-stuffed with Christmas carols, classically slinky-sexy favorites (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Santa Baby,â&#x20AC;? anyone?), massive dance numbers, actorly readings of beloved stories (â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas in Wales,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Night Watchmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Storyâ&#x20AC;?), barbershop quartets and lots of audience sing-along stuff. This dessert tray of an evening happens only four times, Dec. 17â&#x20AC;&#x201C;20, inside the big red barn at the Ross Arts and Garden Center. 415.456.9555. All of these activities are evidence of our fondness for something extra special at this time of year. There is certainly plenty to choose from. So if the Ghost of Charles Dickens appears at any of these events, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be surprised. And take notes. That might make a good show for next year.

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THEATRESPORTS TH EAATRESPORTS SHOW SHOW Nov 28 ON ONEE NIGHT NIGHT ONLY ONLY at at the the Wells W ells Fargo CCenter enter For the AArts rtts

Benefit for 6th Street Street Playhouse Playhoouse tickets at wellsfargocenterar wellsfargocenterarts.org rts.org 8 pm tickets $29 & $39 C O M I N G S O O N Dec 4 thru 20 in the SStudio tuddio

HHAM AM FFOR OR TH THEE HHOLIDAYS OLIDAYS A New Play by SShad had Willingham Willinggham 6th SStreet treet Playhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Playhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SSchool chool of Drama Annual Annual W Winter inter Production Productioon

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www.6thstreetplayhousee.com www.6thstreetplayhouse.com O ffice 707 523-4185 ext 1 Box Office W6th St St Santa Santa Rosa Rosa CA 95401 9 52 W6th

THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

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unfilmable bestseller finally makes it out into screen after years of false starts. Peter (Lord of the Rings) Jackson envisions the candied heaven of a vanished murdered girl (Saoirse Ronan), with Rachel Weisz as her inconsolable mother and new music by Brian Eno. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;35 Shots of Rumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 18) is Claire Denisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; new tantalizer, about the connections between a loose group of Franco-Africans in Paris. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Private Lives of Pippa Leeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 11) features Robin Wright Penn as the distracted wife of a much older plutocrat (Alan Arkin); the director is the chronically interesting Rebecca Miller (The Ballad of Jack and Rose).

369: Bargain Bargain Tuesday Tuesday -- $7.50 $7.50 All All Shows Shows Bargain -20th $7.00 All Shows Schedule forTuesday Fri, Feb â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thu, Feb 26th Schedule for Wed, Nov 25th â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thu, Dec 3rd Schedule for Fri, June 22nd - Thu, June 28th

Award Nominee â&#x20AC;&#x153;Academy Absolutely Unforgettable! Language Film! This Film WillBest Challenge You Butâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; It Will Also Move You! â&#x20AC;&#x153;Raw andForeign Riveting!â&#x20AC;? Rolling Stone WALTZ WITH BASHIR It Should Not Be Missed!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; LA Times A MIGHTY HEART (1:00) 3:00 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;ŤŰşŰşŰşŰşâ&#x20AC;Ź !â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Roger Ebert (12:30) 2:45 5:00 5:00 7:20 9:15 9:45 RR 2 Academy Award Noms Including Best Actor! PRECIOUS:

Triumph!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New York Observer BASEDâ&#x20AC;&#x153;A ON THETHE NOVEL â&#x20AC;&#x153;PUSHâ&#x20AC;? BY SAPPHIRE WRESTLER (12:20 (12:20) 1:30)LA 2:45 4:15 7:00 9:30 2:45 5:10 7:30 9:457:45 R VIE EN5:10 ROSE 10:10p Show on Fri 6:45 & Sat 9:45 R OnPG-13 2 Screens! (12:45) 3:45 10 Academy Award Noms Including Best Picture!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stellar Performances, Clever Writing & SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE â&#x20AC;&#x153;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x; â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Really, Truly, Deeply â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Exquisite Cinematography!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; USA Today 4:00 7:10 R One of (1:15) This Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best!â&#x20AC;?9:40 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Newsday

AN EDUCATION

ONCE 8(1:40) Academy Award 4:00 6:45Noms 9:00Including PG-13 (1:00) 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 R

Best Picture, Actor &on Best Director! Please Note: NoBest 6:45p Show Wed, Dec 2nd

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THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wise, Humble and Effortlessly (1:30) 4:10 6:45 Funny!â&#x20AC;? 9:30 R â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Newsweek (12:40) 2:50 4:50 7:10 9:20 R

WAITRESS

Please Note: No 1:30 Show Sat, No 6:45 Show Thu

Please Note: No 7:10 or 9:20p Show on Wed, Dec 2nd

(1:30) 4:00 7:10 9:30 Best R Picture! 5 Academy Award Noms Including

A SERIOUS MAN

FROST/NIXON (1:45) 4:15 7:20 9:40 R (2:15) 7:20 R â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Slant Magazine A BeneďŹ t for the Redwood Empire Food Bank REVOLUTIONARY ROAD PARIS, JE Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;AIME (11:45) 4:45 9:50 R READY, SET, BAG! (1:15) 4:15 7:00 9:30 R Kevin Jorgenson theQ&A California Wed, Dec 2ndpresents at 7:15p! with Premiere Directors of 2009 Jewish Film Festival presents PURE: A BOULDERING FLICK Michael Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Thu, Feb 26th OBLIVION at 7:15 WONDEROUS â&#x20AC;&#x153;Swoonly Romatic, Mysterious, Please Note: No 1:45 or 7:20p Show onHilarious!â&#x20AC;? Thu, Dec 3rd

SICKO MOVIES IN THE Thu, Dec 3rd at 1MORNING & 7:15p Starts Fri, June 29th! Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon Advance Tickets IN On Sale at Box OfďŹ ce! MOVIES THENow MORNING FROZEN RIVER (12:00) 5:00 10:009:50 AM Fri, Sat,2:30 Sun & Mon7:30 Mornings 10:15 VICKY CRISTINA 10:00 AM AM CAPITALISM: A BARCELONA LOVE STORY 10:20 AM CHANGELING 10:20 COCO BEFORE CHANEL Venessa Redgrave Meryl Streep Glenn CloseAM 10:40 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED 11:00 AM AM PRECIOUS 11:15 AM AM 2009 LIVESTAR ACTION SHORTS (Fri/Mon Only)) 10:45 EVENING BRIGHT 10:45 11:20 AM AM 2009 ANIMATED SHORTS Only) Starts Fri,(Sun June 29th! AMELIA

A40;;HE4AH7867 Jude Law is among the stars assembled in Terry Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s latest, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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Nicole Kidman is also in it, because whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a winter without icicles?

Holiday films pull out the usual stops

Bfrom rews the world &Tasty Paround ub Grub

Hand-Crafted

Saturday, Nov 26

Closed Happy Thanksgiving!!

Saturday, Nov 28 @ 6:00pm

Jennifer Tuker Acoustic Folk www.myspace.com/jennifertucker2008

Sunday, Nov 29 @ 6pm

Radio KBOB Acoustic Folk

Tuesday, Dec 1 @ 7:30pm Your Girlfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Favorite DJ

707.874.9037 | www.barleynhops.com 3688 Bohemian Highway, Occidental 32

11.25.09-12.01.09

By Richard von Busack

C

he possibility of Avatarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s success couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop a hell rant by Bruno Ganzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Der Fanboy Fuhrer, dubbed in once again on YouTube by yet another anonymous prankster. In the spoof, Hitler puts it best: â&#x20AC;&#x153;James Cameron should have left the remake of Ferngully: The Last Rainforest to Lucas! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Clone Wars: Thundercats!â&#x20AC;? Only previewsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and the profile articles Cameron has so generously allowedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;give clues to whether â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Avatarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 18) will be titanic-sized or a resounding f lop. What we do know is that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sci-fi parable of planet invasion, heavy with colonialist guilt. Sam Worthington is a crippled warrior using technology to inhabit one of the nine-foot-tall, azure-skinned, giraffe-eared, technically unsophisticated members of a faraway planet. IMAX and Real3D will add something to the impact of the CGI thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impossible to judge from computer-sized screens. Terry Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a firm release date locally, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s playing in the British commonwealth already. Tom Waits is Satan, dressed a bit like Neville Chamberlain, and Gilliamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recovery from the loss of his star, the late Heath Ledger, through a prisming of the character into several other name movie stars is clever in this modern-day Faustian tale with Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Christopher Plummer and Colin Farrell. The plot, contrasting deep wells of fantasy with the desolation and pollution of

THE BOHEMIAN



London, echoes Ray Bradbury and The Circus of Dr. Lao. Speaking of London, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be so much suffering in the other theaters that I think weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all entitled to something a little emotionally restrained: Robert Downey as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sherlock Holmesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 25), even if weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not too jazzed by director Guy Ritchieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s urge to make our hero â&#x20AC;&#x153;accessibleâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;i.e., faster and more violent. Rachel McAdams is the troublesome Irene Adler, Jude Law is Watson, and the reliable Mark Strong plays the disreputable Lord Blackwood, a peer with plans for the British Empire. Moriarity (Brad Pitt) is in it for a moment, too, in preparation for a sequel thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s already underway. And as the junior version of Holmesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sovereign, Emily Blunt plays â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Young Victoriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 18), with Rupert Friend as Albert, Jim Broadbent as the sailor-king William IV, Julian Glover as Wellington and so forth. People love it when you elbow them in the ribs and tell historical stories about the personages when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to look at the gowns. The chill season is warmed with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Nineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 18), featuring Penelope Cruz honeyed up in lingerie; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rob (Chicago) Marshallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s musical version of Felliniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 8 1/2, with Daniel Day Lewis in the Mastroianni part. Sophia Loren is Lewisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; mother, just one of the women pulling the bedeviled director in separate directions. Nicole Kidman is also in it, because whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a winter without icicles? And on the subject of fateful icicles, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Lovely Bonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 11), Alice Seboldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s harrowing, tear-wringing and seemingly

From Christopher Isherwoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1964 novel â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Single Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; comes the screen version starring Colin Firth as a Southern California professor recovering from the death of his male lover during the JFK years. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Complicatedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 25) finds director Nancy Meyers of the satisfying Somethingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gotta Give leading a love triangle with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin playing monkeyin-the-middle with Meryl Streep. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Up in the Airâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 25) is the new film by Jason Reitman, with George Clooney as a layoff specialist who never considered hiring a wife and kids. Anna Kendrick co-stars; sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best known for the intrepid supporting work she does in the Twilight movies as Bellaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gabby, dippy gal-pal. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Invictusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 11), the new Clint Eastwood movie, parallels the story of Nelson Mandela with the Rugby World Cup of 1995 held in race-torn South Africa, with Matt Damon as an Afrikaner player. Because of the rugby theme, one guesses that the moral of the story is that black and white bleed the same color. William Earnest Henleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bad poem gives us the odd title. For children, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 23), and Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s make-or-break attempt to revive classic f lat animation, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Princess and the Frogâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Dec. 11), a Creole-themed fairy tale with voodoo, and R&B songs by Randy Newman. A medium seemingly headed for extinction at the hands of CGI makes it to the end of this tumult-ridden decade. This may be the best news of the end of the year.


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SURPRISE YOURSELF: DO YOGA* *and have FUN doing it!

∙ 11 classes each week ∙ workshops, special events ∙ locally owned and operated POWER YOGA is a challenging flowing yoga class taught in a heated room with a focus on stability, stamina, freedom & fun. The poses are simple and easy to learn with room to vary and elaborate as students progress. We invite students of all levels to attend any scheduled class. This yoga is for EVERY BODY. Regardless of your size, shape, age or skill level, all poses can be modified to suit you. NOTHING stands between YOU and your TRANSFORMATION

415-454-YOGA (9642)

www.PowerYogaSanRafael.com 1295 Second St., Suite 200 tSan Rafael, CA THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

33


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Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Eloy Camacho.

FOR NORTH BAY MOVIE TIMES, GO TO www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com

34

11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN




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Mo Mo Mo Mo

Love a Parade

Kids & Nature

It usually costs upward of 20 bucks to see the Christmas Jug Band, and even then, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never sure if Dan Hicks is going to show up or not. The budget-line version of the Christmas Jug Band, however, delivers the same amount of laughter and holiday cheer for less than a fraction of the price. How? Because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s absolutely free when Four Elves Named Mo take the f loor in West Marin this Sunday. Hear â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Going Crazy This Year,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas in the Bottleâ&#x20AC;? and everybodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Santa Lost a Hoâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;along with some nonseasonal Americana roots tunesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;when Paul Rogers, Tim Eschliman, Gregory Leroy Dewey and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Turtleâ&#x20AC;? Vandermarr get swinginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; on Sunday, Nov. 29, in the bar at the Station House Cafe. 11180 Hwy. 1, Point Reyes Station. 5pm to 8pm. Free. 415.663.1515.

Yountvilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Festival of Lights turns 21 this year, which seems appropriate for the winemaking regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual holiday bash. Starting at 2pm the day after Thanksgiving, Santa Claus will be on hand with welcoming lap and open ears for the kids, while the townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wineries and restaurants supply tastings and samples for the adultsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;at just $1 a ticket. At sundown, Washington Street comes alive with thousands of tiny, twinkling lights, and the horse carriage rides begin. (Friday, Nov. 27, along Washington Street in downtown Yountville; 2pmâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;6pm; Free; 707.994.0904). The next day, in Napa, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Napa Christmas Parade, with caroling choirs, ballet folklorico and Mayor Jill Techel and Congressman Mike Thompson lighting an unprecedented 29foot tree in Veterans Park. Santa parks his sleigh at the Oxbow Public Market afterwards for the kids. (Saturday, Nov. 28, along First Street in downtown Napa; 5pm; Free; 707.257.0322.)

H6CG6;6:A

Modern Tramp Film buffs have spent the better part of 70 years grasping at a greater understanding of Charlie Chaplinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s masterpiece, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Modern Times.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Living up to its name, the 1936 film that pokes fun at the Industrial Revolution, Nazis and law enforcement still feels strikingly fresh. This is the Trampâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s final picture, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s full of wonderful imagery. Paulette Goddard furiously slicing bananas for her fellow unemployed. Chaplin being force-fed by a feeding machine. A breathtaking roller-skating scene in an afterhours department store. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all here, collected into one tight, 86-minute film, concluding with Chaplinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s signature song, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Smile.â&#x20AC;? The Rafael kicks off its free Everybodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Classics series with a screening of Modern Times on Sunday, Nov. 29, at the Rafael Film Center. 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael. Noon. Free; first come, first served. Free. 415.454.1222.

We live in a world where parents actually tell their children to stop playing in the dirt. Where a three-hour viewing of the latest Disney feature is seen as less harmful than roaming the hills. Where discovering nature comes with all sorts of hand-wringing worries. The Fairfield-Osborn

Preserve hopes to lay those worries to rest with its series of Saturday Naturalist Hikes. With over 400 acres of wildf lowers, basalt rock, salamanders, frogs, newts, deer and the occasional mountain lion, the preserve is a perfect place to open the eyes of the nature-restricted child in your life. Saturday hikes last two to three hours; bringing water, a snack and a curiosity for nature is recommended. Hit up Gravity Hill on the way there on Saturday, Nov. 28, at the Fairfield-Osborn Preserve. 6543 Lichau Road, Penngrove. 10am. $3. 707.795.5069.

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THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

35


0.92;1.? :B@60 Concerts

DON’T FORGET…WE SERVE FOOD TOO!

Mc Near’s Dining House Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak FRI 11/27 • 7:00PM DOORS • $25 • 21+ COUNTRY/ROCK

NEW RIDERS OF THE PURPLE SAGE SAT 11/28• 7:00PM DOORS • $20 • 21+ CD RELEASE ROOTS.BLUES

PARTY

ROY ROGERS AND THE DELTA RHYTHM KINGS

PLUS JEFFREY HALFORD AND THE HEALERS WED 12/2 • 7:30PM DOORS • $30 • 18+ THU RS SOLD OUT! SINGER/SONGWRITER

RICHARD THOMPSON TUE 12/8 • 7:00PM DOORS • $25 • 21+ COUNTRY/ROCKABILLY

AN EVENING WITH

BILLY BOB THORNTON & THE BOXMASTERS WED 12/9 • 7:00PM DOORS • $20 • 18+ SINGER/SONGWRITER

TODD SNIDER PLUS

LAUREN SHERA

THUR 12/10 • 8:00PM DOORS • $24 ADV/$27 DOS • 21+ REGGAE

GOOD VIBEZ PRESENTS

MIDNITE FRI & SAT 12/11 & 12/12 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ BLUEGRASS/JAM BAND

HOT BUTTERED RUM

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FRI & SAT / PLUS POOR MAN’S WHISKEY FRI / PLUS HILLSIDE FIRE NEW!

SUN 12/13 • 7:00PM DOORS • $30 • 21+ ACOUSTIC

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DICK DALE

PLUS QUARTER MILE SAT 12/19 • 7:00PM DOORS • $22 ADV/$25 DOS • ALL AGES ACOUSTIC/FOLK

AN EVENING WITH

CHRISTMAS JUG BAND SUN 12/27 • 7:30PM DOORS • $25 • 21+ ROCK

CRACKER PLUS CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN For All Ages Shows • No Children Under 10 Allowed

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

707-765-2121 www.mcnears.com 11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN



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EDDIE MONEY

ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS

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THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

37


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GATOR BEAT Saturday, November 28

$13

Wed, Nov 25 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45 Jazzercise 10am-12:15pm Scottish Dance Youth and Family 7:00-10:00pm Singles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thur, Nov 26 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 12:00-5:30pm Thanksgiving Fri, Nov 27 8:45-9:45am Jazzercise 7:00pm DJ Steve Luther hosts An Evening of Hot Salsa & Cool Swing $10 Sat, Nov 28 8:00-9:00am; 9:15-10:15am Jazzercise 10:30-11:40am Salsa Workout with DJ Steve Luther 7:00pm GATOR BEAT â&#x20AC;&#x201D; More popular than ever

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8:30-9:30am Jazzercise Zumba Fitness with Anna Vintage Dance with Gary Thomas DJ Steve Luther Country-Western Lessons & Dancing $10 Mon, Nov 30 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 3:30pm WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 3:30, Meeting 4:00 7:00-10:00pm New! Scottish Country Dancing Tues, Dec 1 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING

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More clunkers than classics among this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s holiday releases

By Bruce Robinson

8

tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gotta be a joke. That seems to be the universal reaction to Christmas in the Heart, the new, unexpected seasonal CD fromâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;wait for itâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Bob Dylan. Alas, no. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing funny, new, original or even celebrative among the thoroughly uninspired album of traditional hymns and tired wintertime standards, which even includes the over-roasted chestnut â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Christmas Song.â&#x20AC;? Just Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s road-ravaged croak careening through a series of excruciatingly tasteful arrangements, randomly substituting a word here and a note there without the slightest hint of irony or, for that matter, enthusiasm. The few tolerable momentsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;an almost suitable â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas Blues,â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Must Be Santaâ&#x20AC;? as a Tex-Mex two-stepâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;are more than offset by a plethora of painful ballads. Dylan crooning the likes of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Be Home for Christmasâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Silver Bellsâ&#x20AC;? evokes the Ghost of Christmas Past-His-Prime, and the way he growls â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do You Hear What I Hearâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;O Little Town of Bethlehemâ&#x20AC;? can only be described as â&#x20AC;&#x153;extraordinaryâ&#x20AC;? renditions. To be charitable, we can credit the everunpredictable Dylan with doing something that few fans ever thought he could

achieve: recording an album that makes Self Portrait sound coherent and accomplished by comparison. Among Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contemporaries, the holiday season has become, sadly, an occasion for grasping at the shreds of long-faded relevance, an opportunity to milk one more purchase from a fan base still clinging to memories even older than their children. Thus we have â&#x20AC;&#x153;newâ&#x20AC;? Christmas releases from such middle-of-the-road stalwarts as Neil Diamond (his third), Michael McDonald (number two), Charlie Daniels (third) and Barry Man-I-Loathe, who has churned out a hard-to-imagine fourth seasonal CD. They are all, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure, as predictable as a late sunrise on solstice, and nowhere near as appealing. If you love â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em, buy â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em. Just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make me listen to them. Speaking of solstice, the other highprofile seasonal release this year comes from Sting, whose artfully austere If on a Winterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Night etches odes to its titular subject with scant acknowledgement of any holidays. Deploying spare, acoustic arrangements (think harp, lute, bohdran), the former Police man glides through 15 mostly unfamiliar melodies (only one original) without ever generating enough heat to defrost that rose eâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re blooming. Beautiful, but chilly. Then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rob Halfordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Winter Songs, in which the Judas Priest frontman shows he can be, well, almost sentimental. Almost. After the opening â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get into the Spiritâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D; more a command than an invitationâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the power-chorded carols pretty much play it, er, straight, even injecting a surprising degree of majesty into the closing â&#x20AC;&#x153;O Come All Ye Faithful.â&#x20AC;? Still, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to imagine this one finding much of a crossover fan base. For those whose affection for â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s soul and funk runs deeper than the usual suspects, the compilation â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;In the Christmas Grooveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is an off-the-beaten-track collection of tracks from low-profile acts, often B-sides from forgotten singles. Some borrowed riffs may sound familiar, but few of the songs will. If any were destined for memorable longevity, it would have happened well before now. Meanwhile, the repackaging wizards at Motown haveâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for, oh, no particular reasonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;seen fit to reissue a Jackson 5 holiday collection this year, along with a more generalized labelwide anthology. At least theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a deep stash of worthy material to work with. As is often the case, there is more joy and warmth to be found among the seasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lessheralded releases, starting with the Putumayo Records compilation, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Family Christmas.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; The international aggregatorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fourth holiday set is presented as a kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; disc, which explains the atypical dominance of North American and British acts, but the fresh, mostly acoustic performances have a near-universal appeal. My personal favorite this year is Carlaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas Carols, with each track elegantly arranged for brass quintet with piano, bass and occasional chimes and celeste by American composer Carla Bley. With contrapuntal riffing among the brass choir that balances the decidedly modern harmonic vocabulary grafted onto such enduring melodies as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Away in a Manger,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jingle Bells,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;O Holy Nightâ&#x20AC;? and, yes, even the inescapable ode â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Christmas Song,â&#x20AC;? Bley finds a graceful common ground between jazz and the classical traditions of two centuries, just right for making spirits bright.


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THE BOHEMIAN

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LET’S MEET AND TALK SWF, 39, 5’3’’, loves music, dancing. Looking for a social SWM, mid 40s, for friendship first. 318133



LOOKING FOR A FRIEND SAF, 48, 5’4’’, looking for a friend who will eventually become my partner in life. 318943



PRETTY & SLENDER Bright and youthful SWF, 50+, enjoys listening to or playing music, travel, playing at the beach, and dating. Seeking nice-looking, kind, intelligent SM, 50s plus or minus, with sense-of-humor, financially secure, to share fun indoors and out, concerts and movies, dining out and walks, cozy fireplaces and sometimes campfires. 303711



LET’S GO OUT & HAVE FUN! Honest woman, 50s, very caring, compassionate, kind, my interests are long drives, walks, dancing, visiting new places, dinners. Seeking nice SM, 50s60s, for LTR. 297169



A BIG HEART Caring, loving SF, 39, movies, the outdoors, Looking for SW/HM, for friendship, maybe 305007



enjoys travel. 39-50, more.

LET’S MEET FOR DINNER Caring, honest, flexible, compassionate woman, 60s, loves dancing, travel, reading, dining out. Seeking similar man, 60s, for LTR. 301189



LOOKING FOR LTR Friendly, feminine, nurturing, captivating, bright, personable woman in her 50s who enjoys night clubs, television, dining, dancing, surfing, music, seeks similar male, 40-60, for LTR. 301191



GOOD VALUES Caring, personable, compassionate, classy, hard-working female, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, reading, museums, dining, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, possibly more. 309780



WAITING ARMS Caring, educated, honest, optimistic, hard-working SF, 30s, enjoys travel, dining out, long drives, the beach, reading, walks, hiking, music and more. Would like to meet like-minded man, 30-40, for LTR. 313123

Call costs $2.29/min. Must be 18+

ADORABLE AND BRIGHT Caring, friendly, goal-oriented, feminine, honest, compassionate woman, 60s, likes travel, exercise, music, hiking, long drives, dining out, the beach, reading and more. Seeking a great companion, 50-70, to share these activities and quiet times with. 313128



COMPASSIONATE Friendly, honest, artistic, outdoorsy, caring SF, 30s, likes watching tv, dancing, the beach, travel, walks, music, hiking, museums, dining out, more. Searching for a partner in life, 30-50, for possible LTR. 313131



OUTGOING AND FUN Compassionate, caring, friendly, honest SF, 20s, likes going to clubs, camping, hiking, reading, the beach, dining out, more. Looking for a down-to-earth, easygoing man, 22-35, for LTR. 313136



LIKE GOING OUT? Honest, goal-oriented personable, artistic, sophisticated, hardworking SF would like to meet a SM, 40-60, who enjoys travel, walks, the beach, music, reading, camping, long drives, museums, tv, dining out, dancing and more. Seeking LTR. 313138



SEEKING LTR Honest, compassionate, artistic, friendly, goal-oriented, caring SF, 50s, health-minded with good values, into music, the beach, dancing, tv, travel, museums, walks, reading and more. Would like to meet SM, around the same age, for companionship. 313139



LIKE PBS? Personable, caring, goal-oriented friendly, artistic, compassionate woman, with good values, likes coffee shops, music, reading, walks, travel, dancing, dining out and more. Looking for honest, respectful man, 5070, for LTR. 313143



OUTDOORSY Bright, compassionate, honest, friendly, adaptable woman, 50s, seeks SM, 40-60, who enjoys dining, dancing, beaches, taking walks, for casual dating or LTR. 301192



HONESTY A MUST Hard-working, honest, optimistic, nurturing, flexible, motivated SF, 50s, likes biking, the beach, travel, dancing, hiking, reading, music, seeks similar man, 50s, who is ready for LTR. 301198



CAPTIVATING Sophisticated, outdoorsy, friendly, mischievous SF, 50s, likes hiking, kayaking, taking walks. In search of SM, 50-70, for LTR. 301203



GOOD VALUES Shy, friendly, caring, compassionate SF, 60s, nurturing, motivated, enjoys walks, the beach, coffee shops, biking, dining, seeks similar man, 60+, for friendship leading to LTR. 301544



PERSONABLE Compassionate, bright, friendly female, 40s, likes music, dancing, dining, biking, coffee shops. Seeking similar male, 50s, for LTR. 302304



SHY AND ARTISTIC Single female in her 50s looking for a male who enjoys music, television. Let’s meet and see if we connect! 308997



FRIENDS OR MORE Nurturing, artistic, bright, hardworking, compassionate, feminine female in her 50s, enjoys music, dancing, travel, the beach, kayaking, dining, taking walks. Seeking male, 50-69, for friendship with the possibility of more. 309768



ONE HONEST WOMAN LEFT Bright SF, 60s, with good values, flexible and honest, likes reading, camping, travel, taking walks. Seeking similar male, 50-69, for friendship, casual relationship, possible LTR. 309769



VERY PERSONABLE Motivated, bright, artistic, hardworking, health-conscious female, 50s, personable and flexible, seeks male, age open, who likes museums, travel, long drives, camping, hiking. 309770



Singles Parties

LOOKING FOR LTR Outdoorsy, health-minded, clean-cut, honest woman in her 30s, who enjoys biking, dining, shopping, the beach, hiking, taking walks, wants to meet a male in his 30s for LTR. 309772





MANY FINE QUALITIES Caring, outdoorsy, honest, artistic, hard-working SF, early 50s, optimistic homebody with good values, has many interests including music, dining out, museums, travel, long drives, reading, walks, camping, biking and more. Looking for an honest, down-to-earth SM, 50-70, for friendship and dating first, possibly leading to something more serious. 313126





SEEKING AN OPEN MIND SBM, 33, 250lbs, smoker, enjoys cars, long walks, working out. Looking for SF, 20-65, kids ok, for possible relationship. 304990

CAPTIVATING! Adorable, hard-working, classy female, 50s, enjoys museums, shopping, travel, coffee shops, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, casual relationship, or LTR. 309776



A CARING HEART Outdoorsy, flexible, nurturing, feminine woman, 50s, likes camping, long drives, travel, coffee shops, taking walks. Seeking male, 40-59, for LTR. 309777







Men Seeking Women LET’S CONNECT SM, 6’2’’, 220lbs, athletic, outgoing, loves the outdoors. Looking for similar SW/AF, 18-55, for fun and friendship. 324795



HANDSOME BM... 65, seeks female for fun-loving adventures and relaxation. I love cooking, surprises, and giving gifts. 302811



ADULTS OF ALL AGES WELCOME!

PACIFIC NORTHWEST Casual guy, enjoys mountain and beach trips, walks, outdoors, moonlit nights, cuddling. Seeking SWF, 40-56, slim/ medium build, to come spend quiet times in Pacific Northwest. 954499

SHARED JOY SWM, 59, 5’9”, 160lbs, nice-looking, with good SOH, seeking woman to have fun with, race/ age unimportant. I like dancing, partying, shows and dining out. Call me! 972627



NO GAMES OR DRAMA WM, 6’, 190lbs, brownish-gray, hazel, goatee, loves playing pool, the outdoors, football, trying new things. Looking for a lady, 25-55, who wants to meet a nice guy. 323674



LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Single white male, 76, 5’6’’, funloving family man, likes camping, boating, etc. Looking for a similar woman, 68-73. No drugs. 323442



HAPPILY EVER AFTER Single white male, 46, 5’11’’, 190lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, Aquarius, interested in music, film, literature. Seeking the real deal, the storybook, the fairy tale princess. 323596



BLONDE A PLUS SM, 5’10”, 185lbs, black/brown, light complexion, looking for a slim WF, 19-29, for dating. 324312



SPECIAL WOMAN SM, 48, black hair, brown eyes, very outgoing, great personality, likes photography, basketball, music, travel. I’m looking for a woman who’s interested in dating and possibly more. 287933



TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Motivated, outdoorsy, honest, health-conscious woman, with good values and optimistic attitude, likes most kinds of music, dining out, walks, camping, travel and relaxing time at home. Seeking a nice, honest, active man, 30-40, with similar interests, to spend time with, possible leading to LTR. 313124

LONG HAIR A PLUS Good-looking Native American male, 5’8”, 220lbs, long hair, in search of a Hispanic or Native American woman, 50s, for friendship first and companionship. 304173



GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR SWM, 59, 5’11’’, 180lbs, nonsmoker, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, enjoys fishing, beaches, dining out and more. Seeking female, 55-65, for possible relationship. 309857



Holiday Party

Tuesday, December 1, 7-9pm Wellington’s Wine Bar, $10 300 Turney at Bridgeway, Sausalito

Christmas Mixer

Thursday, December 17, 7-9pm Last Day Saloon, $10 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa

CO-SPONSORED by Bohemian Romance and Society of Single Professionals INFO at www. ThePartyHotline.com or 415-507-9962

FRIEND LOVER SOULMATE SWPJM, 56, 5’10”, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, kind, passionate, artistic, sincere, committed and fun, enjoys ocean walks, travel, arts, food, wine and nature. Seeking SF, 50-62, kindred spirit, kind, soft, sensuous, for life’s adventures together. 309779



GET TO KOW ME SBM, 53, 6’1”, 190lbs, looking for a fun, loving woman, 25-65, with a good personality, who likes having a good time, the beach, horseback riding, movies, walks and more. 314332



LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6’, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/ emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315052



HOPE TO FIND YOU Sociable, good-hearted, compassionate, healthy gentleman, 63, published writer/poet, D/Dfree, non-drinker, enjoys quiet times, home, sports, simple times. Seeking loving, happy, intelligent woman to share life, love, possible LTR. Bay Area preferred. 224839



LOOK NO FURTHER SWM, 30, 5’4’’, looking for a woman, 30-40, who wants to hang out and get to know each other. 317907



COOKING FOR YOU! SWM, 62, 5’10”, 170lbs, N/S, light drinker, clean shaven, hazel eyes, self-employed, loves cooking, jazz and traveling. Seeking a similar woman, 50-80, race unimportant, for possible LTR. 318883



ONE GOOD MAN LEFT SHM, 32, N/S, likes soccer, running. In search of SA/BF for friendship first possibly leading to more. 319059



JUST MOVED HERE SWM, 5’7’’, 190lbs, brown eyes, wants to meet soulmate in similar SF, 30-55. I love swing dancing, travel, gourmet cooking, animals, nature. 305800



SOMEONE LIKE ME SWM, youthful 51, 5’11’’, 200lbs, dark hair, hazel eyes, looking for a lady, 40-59, who likes to party, is outgoing, adventurous. 319319



EASY ON THE EYES Outgoing, good-looking WM, 6’, 175lbs, salt-n-pepper/blue, good sense of humor, spontaneous, romantic, adventurous, likes weekend getaways, concerts and more. Seeking honest, appreciative woman, 22-65, who has goals in life. 320839



JACK OF HEARTS Handsome dude, 57, good SOH, interesting, spontaneous, fun, adventuresome, looking for attractive woman. I enjoy dancing, concerts, dining out, hiking, beach combing and holding hands also loves animals, dogs, cats and horses. Happy trails! 201639



SEEKING A REAL WOMAN WM, 6’, 200lbs, blond/blue, a few tattoos, very athletic, loves the beach, bike rides, romantic evenings at home, great conversation. Seeking honest woman, 18-50, no games. 322539



ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White Guidelines:BohemianRomanceisacommunitypublication.ParticipantsintheBohemianRomancemust be 18 years or older. Use of Bohemian Romance for any illegal purpose will be subject to prosecution. Bohemian Romanceisnotliableforthecontentofthepersonalsadvertisementsortheresponsetosuchadvertisements.BohemianRomance encourages readers to take appropriate safeguards when responding to personal and arrangingmeetings.Screenallrespondentscarefully.Meetingswithnew companions should occur in public places and participants should not divulge their addresses. Be smart, not sorry. Notallboxescontainavoicegreeting.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235

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SANTA ROSA’S

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THE BOHEMIAN


BOHEMIANROMANCE To become a member, call To listen & respond to ads, call

1 900.287.1222

1.800.214.3435 To listen & respond to ads using a credit card or check, call

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For customer service, email bohemian@ placepersonal.com, or call 1-617-450-8773

Men Seeking Women COLLEGE PROF-SUMMERS OFF! Tall, dark, handsome, positive, athletic SM, 60, 6’, 200lbs, looks 45, feels 35, loves life! A seafood vegetarian, non-smoker and light drinker. Loves the outdoors, hiking, walking, mountain biking, tennis, acoustic music, volunteer work, walks on the beach, traveling, long road trips, cuddling, spending time with someone special. 322787



I’M NOT THE GUY... ...for long walks on the beach, dancing the night away. Retiree, 48, moderately disabled with MS, SSU grad, into jazz, films, progressive talk radio. San Francisco native seeks caring, happy lady, 40-50, for companionship. N/S. I’m a good listener, talk to me. Tell me about yourself. 219612



WELL-TRAVELED WRITER Sensitive, compassionate, honest WM, warm, open, considered attractive, wonderful listener, quiet entertaining, likes most kinds of movies, music, travel, more. Seeking WF, 52-71, for possible relationship. 323098



PERSONABLE Shy SM, 50s, with good values, likes long drives, hiking, walking, travel, dining out. Looking for similar female, 40-60, ready for LTR. 301538



LOVES HORSES Healthy senior WM, 165lbs, N/S, loves animals, especially horses, theater, PBS. Seeking slender female for romance. 302170



ARE YOU THE ONE? Bright, artistic, caring, flexible, adorable guy, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, the beach, dining out. Looking for similar female. 302306



LET’S HAVE FUN! SHM, 34, N/S, no children, looking for a SH/WF, 24-32, for dating, possibly more. 302392



FUN, INTROSPECTIVE SWM, 52, 6’4’’, in good shape, likes classic movies, reading, hiking, classical music, sailing, the outdoors, travel, the symphony. Looking for SF, 22-50, similar interests. 301801



STARTING OVER Separated WM, loves hockey, the outdoors, golf, staying in and watching movies, gardening and more. Would like to meet someone fun who wants to enjoy life. Call me and lift my spirits. 282029



LOOKING FOR LTR SM, 31, outdoorsy, honest, compassionate, seeks SF, 22-35, who enjoys travel, television, camping, taking walks, the beach and more. 301200



SOMETIMES MISCHIEVOUS Optimistic, honest, clean-cut, caring, outdoorsy man, 50s, likes music, walks, long drives, running, watching tv, museums, dining out. Seeking SF, 50s, for companionship. 313135



FRIENDSHIP FIRST Caring, honest, nurturing SM, 60s, enjoys music, watching tv, walks, camping, coffee shops, hiking and museums. Looking for SF, 30-70, for dating possibly leading to LTR. 313144

KISSING & CUDDLING Single man in Sonoma County, extremely romantic, looking for an equally romantic partner. I love soft kisses, snuggling on the couch, and making you laugh! 315225



SOPHISTICATED Caring, compassionate, hardworking, goal-oriented, artistic SM, 40s, likes camping, dancing, travel. Searching for similar male, 30s, for LTR. 301536



LOOKING FOR A SF WHO... is independent, confident and takes care of herself. I like good movies, dressing up for a nice dinner out, skiing, bike rides, hiking, scuba diving, swing dancing, cooking. I’m an honest person who doesn’t believe in playing games. 301540



READY FOR LTR Shy, friendly, caring, clean-cut, classy SM, 50s, enjoys music, camping, travel, long drives, hiking, beaches, seeks similar woman, 30-50, for LTR. 302300



LOOKING FOR LTR Hard-working, healthy, personable, honest, compassionate man, 40s, likes camping, travel, hiking, long drives, beaches. In search of similar female, 30s, for friendship leading to LTR. 302302





LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6’, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/ emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 1833, in boots for LTR. 315055



LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE SM, 20s, bright, artistic, ambitious, optimistic, personable, likes dining, travel, the beach, walking, exercise. Seeking female, 20s, for possible relationship. 318319



COMPASSIONATE SM, 60s, with good values, likes camping, dancing, dining, reading, hiking, walking, biking. Looking for SF, 50s, for LTR. 318320



Alternative Lifestyles DISCREET ENCOUNTER BiHM, 50, 5’6”, 180lbs, nonsmoker, seeking males, females or couples to have some hot fun and more. 324668



SPANK YOU VERY MUCH Woman, thou shalt be spanked. Gentle or hard, clothed or naked, whatever you deserve, by a sexy man who knows how to do it. 288495



COUPLE SEEKS WOMAN Very attractive, middle-aged, married white couple, she’s 5’2”, 125lbs, 34D. He is 5’11”, 172lbs. Both and very sensual and she is multi-orgasmic. We are N/S, light drinkers, heal-conscious, pleasant, non-pushy. Please be N/S, H/W proportionate, white, Hispanic or Asian, under 55. Bi or bi-curious ok. Discretion assured. Let’s have fun. 314002



LET’S HAVE FUN SM, 38, 6’2”, 200lbs, looking for a top or couples to get together and share good times with. 324363



JOIN US Bi couple looking for a stud, a muffin or both. Satisfaction guaranteed. 323336



Men Seeking Men LOOKING FOR LOVE Seeking one man to love and care for completely and forever. Me: SBM, 50ish, affectionate, supportive, genuine, lots to offer. You: just be yourself, imperfect, mature older man, 70-90, with some humor, some laughter. Are you the one? 299175



COMPASSIONATE GUY Hard-working, classy, clean-cut, caring, honest male in search of a male, 58-69, who likes night clubs, television, travel, dancing, the beach, taking walks, exercise. 308996



SANTA ROSA AREA WM, 41, looking for open-minded people who enjoy adult fun. I like adult movies, toys and looking for a couples and females. I can be orally bi depending on the chemistry. 323130



CALL ME BiWM, handyman artist in Marin, 52, 5’6”, 180lbs, dirty blond hair, pale blue eyes, seeks couple or singles for fun in Marin or nearby. 293610



STRAIGHTFORWARD FUN SWM, 39, looking for SF, 18-50, who likes to try new things and isn’t afraid of having a little fun! 304707

WHERE ARE YOU? You are 35-45, very feminine, dark, mystical, spiritual, with a sense of humor, know what you like, and want to enjoy life, but not alone. I’m trying to find you, where are you? 310085



LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 41, Santa Rosa area, looking for a SWF, 30-45, to hang out and have fun with. 318644



NATURE LOVER Health-conscious, honest, wise, spiritual, artistic, friendly female, 50s, enjoys philosophy, psychology, walking, reading, the beach. Searching for similar female, 50s, for long-term relationship. 302296





GREAT LEGS! Tall, slender cross-dresser, very nice legs, looking for men or a group of men. Give me a call, let’s have some fun! 318996



BD/SM SWM, submissive, wants one or two females or young male for BD/SM, watersports, torture, anal. Never did any of this before, but curious to try now! 319455



SEEKING COUPLES Good-looking bi male, 50, would like to meet bi man/woman couples for erotic interlude. 319986



TRIPLE PLAY Handsome, easygoing, discreet, polite gentleman, 57, enjoys couples. I am a WM, 6’, 190lbs, athletic build, well hung and Bi. I also like dominant women. 232423



LET’S HAVE SOME FUN Male looking for an older gentleman, 35-65, to teach me the ropes. I haven’t been with too many people. I like watching adult movies and trying new things. 321782



I NEED HELP! Married HM, 49, 5’11”, goodlooking, doesn’t get it at home. Looking for a wild woman with a high libido for a discreet sexual encounter. 322196

866.689.5312

18+



Get ready to meet someone special.

FREAKY MAN... looking for a freaky, spontaneous, wild, erotic woman, 18-55, to get together and have some fun, adult times together. 322361





JOIN US White couple looking for a female, 18-25, for fun, discreet times together. Give us a call. 311573



Women Seeking Women

TURN THE TABLES Handsome, sane, married WM, 57 is looking for a woman, who knows how to use a strap on, for ongoing, mostly daytime play. I will please you in any way that you want and I take directions well. 318288

READY FOR FUN? SWM, 30, feminine bottom, looking for a top WM, 20-60, for good times and fun. Let’s see where it goes! 311892



SHE-MALE SEEKS GOOD TIMES Want to spend time with a man or a woman. I am very affectionate, beautiful, and love to be held. Interested? 279657



KEEP IT DISCREET WF, 30s, dark/dark, light complexion, fun-loving, bi-curious, seeks discreet female, 28-55, to have fun and party with. 314779



WHATEVER YOU DECIDE! SM, 5’11’’, 170lbs, light brown hair, blue eyes, athletic build, shaved, smooth and sexy, well-endowed, into a wide variety of pleasures. Anything goes; role play, fantasy fulfillment, toys, porn, lingerie. Seeking couples and females to party and play. 316161



Missed Connections AMAZON KINDLE Hello, I met you Friday June 27 at the Russian River Brewing Company on Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. She may be a computer programmer from St. Helena Hospital and watched on this day 3 movies back to back in the theater on Fourth St. in the town of Santa Rosa The Love Guru by Mike Meyers, Wall-E and another film. And she sipped a little beer and read from her Amazon kindle. I would like to get in touch with this girl and ask her to edit my book. She is a perfect candidate for my book. Hope to hear from you. Phil. 274972



CORINA IN OLIVER’S Saturday at 4:00PM, You had 15-year-old twins with blacks belts in karate. I have two cute little kids. We talked about children and kale. Lunch? 311695



call 1.800.214.3435

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BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS Placing an Ad

â?ś Employment

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â&#x17E;? Real

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§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m. â&#x2C6;&#x161; By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

g Employment Jobs

Love Wine? PT work for wine + commission. Healdsburg boutique winery. Days and weekends. Call 707-495-1873

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

Director of Nursing Services Professional Consulting Company seeking a Director of Nursing Services or Assistant Director of Nursing Services. (956) 358-4297, professionalconsultants@rock etmail.com

Solution. 707-364-0409. getrichskin@gmail.com

gg g g For Sale Estate Sales

Career Development

Earn $75-$200 Hour

Media Makeup Artist Training. Ads, TV, film, fashion. One week class. Stable job in weak economy. Details at www.AwardMadeUpSchool.co m 310/364-0665. (AAN CAN) Business Opportunities

Seeking Savvy Sales/Marketing Pro to partner with the Doctors that created ProActiv Acne

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$19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy! Call now for details: 877/242-0974. (AAN CAN)

â&#x2C6;? In Person Visit our office Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. at 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa

Get Dish-Free Installation $19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy! Call now for details: 877/238-8413. (AAN CAN)

Computer Market MacAdvantage Macintosh FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Hardware/ Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email,Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6 info@themacadvantage.com 707.664.0400

Professional Services Golden Star Grafix

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Green Earth Catering Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager. 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

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ALL AREAS RENTMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Rentmates.com. (AAN CAN)

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BUSINESS CARDS â&#x20AC;˘ BROCHURES POSTERS â&#x20AC;˘ T-SHIRTS â&#x20AC;˘ CD COVERS FLYERS â&#x20AC;˘ PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION

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Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic Bands restoration, general Lil Wayne, E-40, marketing materials. Mark Schaumann Snoop Dog, San Quinn 707-795-0924, Thug World Records explosive schaumann1@earthlink.net label features lil Wayne Snoop dog E-40 G-unit and Goebel Builders more. Free Downloads, Jay Goebel, General MP3s, RingTones, videos. Contractor, Lic. #812957 www.thugworldrecords.com Quality Workmanship, 408-561-1255 Friendly Service, and Instruction Dependability You Can Trust. Insured with Local references Piano Teacher Repairs, Custom Builds, and For more information on Troubleshooting. Call today lessons or to schedule a free and get the job DONE! assessment please feel free 707-794-7955 to send me an email at www.goebelbuilders.com pallenpiano@yahoo.com Santa Rosa Plumbing or call me at 707-484-6372 Water Conservation Experts. Friendly, Honest Service. Licensed, Bonded and Insured. License #871026.

Tankless water heaters, high efficiency toilets, recirculation, general plumbing needs

Q UALITY G RAPHIC D ESIGN

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Exploring The Human Element Browse thousands of rental in Business. Call us for a FREE, expert consultation @ listings with photos and 707.483.5135. Our Team Does maps. Advertise your rental

Baja Oceanside Villa Special Pre-Holiday Rate 12/1-19. More info see our site: www.BajaTurtle.com, Baja cell: 011 52 1 612 118 3423

Clearlake, Ca. Sunset Fishing Resort. 2-1 Lakeside Bedroom Cabins and 2-2 Lakeside Bedroom Cabins. Call 707-994-6642. Please visit our website: www.sunsetfishingresort.com

Youth Failing School or School Failing Our Youth ? Try Rancho Bodega School Small Group/One on One Instruction - Enriched Middle/High School Curriculum - Special Studies/Independent Study - Emphasizing Music & Art Serving Grades 7-12 NOW ENROLLING !! Call 707-795-7166 www.ranchobodegaschool. com

g Miscellaneous

Electric Vehicle Battery Tech Seminar - 1/30/10

Three battery experts will speak about lead acid and lithium batteries in home electric vehicle conversions, as well as battery containServices ment in the vehicle. Pre-paid registration of $100 is required. www.FirstStepEshari@electroauto.com, quity.com www.electroauto.com/batLease a home with the option teryseminar.shtml to buy. Choose through 831-429-1989 thousands of properties from our nationwide database. Gain National Pictures included!! Call Exposure for more information Reach over 5 million young, (805) 683-8600 (AAN CAN) active, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202/289-8484. (AAN CAN)

g Real Estate Services

g g Family Services

Remodeling/Repair

Classes & Instruction

High School Diploma! Fast, affordable and accredited. Free brochure. Call Now!. 1888-532-6546 ext. 97 www.continentalacademy.com. (AAN CAN)

4/@E3AB@3AB=@/B7=<A 1=<AB@C1B7=< Â&#x2019;1O`^S\b`g>OW\bW\U Â&#x2019;0O[P]]4Z]]`W\U Â&#x2019;>Zc[PW\U3ZSQb`WQOZ Â&#x2019;;Oa]\`gBWZS1]\Q`SbS Â&#x2019;ASWa[WQ@Sb`]TWbbW\U Â&#x2019;@]]T@S^OW`aA]ZO`  1]ObW\U Â&#x2019;>`Saac`SEOaVW\U Â&#x2019;5cbbS`1ZSO\W\U Â&#x2019;B`SSB`W[[W\U

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Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

schaumann1@earthlink.net

48

11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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Classified Index


HEALTH&WELL-BEING g Healing & Bodywork

Lily Spa RELAX Asian Massage Thai • Deep Tissue Swedish • Hot Stone 1 HR/$65 90 MIN/$100 walk-ins or appt

707.528.2540 3401 Cleveland Ave #2 Santa Rosa

Strong Thorough and Intuitive

g

30 yrs experience. Excellent Rates! 1/2 hour, hour or 90 mins. Colin, CMT 707-823-2990. Massage & Relaxation

Petaluma Lavender Day Spa Opening Special

$55 includes FREE Table Shower & Finnish Sauna

707.782.9898 131 Liberty St, Ste. D

Grand Opening! Massage $55 hr

• Deep Tissue/Swedish • Sports • Shiatzu • Back Walking • Foot Reflexology • Chair $10/10 min massage

Golden Flower Massage Spa

Happy Health Spa open 10-10, 7 days 525 Ross St, Santa Rosa

707-591-8899

• Swedish & Deep

Tissue Massage

Massage 4 Men

by Ron,

CMT ›JXk`]jp`e^=lcc9f[p ›Jn\[`j_&;\\gK`jjl\ ›JkXik`e^Xk$+,&_i ›Gi`mXk\Jkl[`f Schedule Online

QuietMassage.com

• Hot Stone Massage

699 Petaluma Blvd. N

707.765.1879 Open 7 days 9am-10pm

MEN! Get a Massage the way you like it. Swedish and deep tissue techniques. Relaxing and rejuvenating.

Flexible schedule for your convenience. Outcalls available. Call James 707-477-4365.

A Safe Place To Be Real Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. NEW CLIENT DISCOUNT. 707-793-2232.

Take Care of Yourself With a deeply relaxing, pampering, sensual, massage. Holiday Special. CMT in Santa Rosa. Call Bliss 415/717-9378.

$40 Half Hour Massage Holiday Stress Relief Special

IS HE INTO YOU?

I feel what HE feels. Efficient psychic readings. All questions - business, love, spiritual, etc. Visa/MC/Disc/AmEx. 800-355-1283 ext. 5 (AAN CAN)

For first time clients by Male CMT. 707-766-8269

Full Body Sensual Massage With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.

A Provider of Pleasure

Total relaxation $50/hr John (707)-536-1516 Santa Rosa www.completebodybalance. com

Therapeutic Massage

Cindy Cross, CMT

1111 Sonoma Ave. Suite 208, Santa Rosa (The Surgical Center) Debbie (707) 776-4732

Deep Relaxing Full Body Massage To total Completion by a mature male $40/hour. Napa Valley location. Roger 707-525-1771.

Grand Opening

Ayurvedic

In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a “mature”, compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.

Men`s Massage for Pleasure and Health

Call the Bohemian NOW to advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com

Need a relaxing massage? Come in for Swedish, Deep Tissue, Tui Na, Reiki, Lifestream, Acupressure and see what a difference it can make. Call 707.665.9020. First Time Client Special! 90 minutes for $60. Cindy Cross, C.M.T. 665-9020 By appointment only

g Psychics

Guerneville M4M Massage

Psychic Palm and Card Reader

Mitch, CMT. Mature. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private discrete studio. 707-849-7409

Madame Lisa. Truly gifted adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. Call for Appointment 707-542-9898

HEAVENLY TOUCH

Indian Head Massage

Beautiful Asian Massage

n

Health - Relaxation - Stress Relief - Experienced CMT

$50/hour $35/half hour New Customers 15 minutes FREE

n

• relief from tension headaches, eyestrain, and sinusitis

11am-9pm 161B Kentucky St, Petaluma 707.778.7888

NOW OPEN

• improves mobility in neck and shoulders • balances energy

Margery Smith 707.578.9642

Therapeutic Massage Center Boody Massage $55/hr

Foot Massage $19.99/45 min

Open 7 days 9-10pm

2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa

707.578.3088

Chinese Medicine & Massage Therapy Center

Santa Rosa 8 am – 8 p m (.'. ,*-$((*-

FREE CONSULTATION Windsor: 4 Men

with a Chinese medicine expert & Qi Gong Master. Treatment for pain & injury. Extensive traditional Chinese herbal pharmacy

Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Man of Your Dreams

Best Chiropractor

Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

2nd Place

Quality family chiropractic care for managing chronic and acute pain.

Relaxing Massage First time $45/hr. www.garywtmassage.com, Gary, CMT. 707-235-5423

• sports injuries

Great Massage By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub and pool available. Will do outcalls. 707-228-6883.

• pediatrics

Jake Quihuis, DC 707-523-9850 1819 Fourth Street • Santa Rosa

• auto accidents • pregnancy / post-partum discomforts

MORE THAN 15 MASSAGE TECHNIQUES FOR PERFECT RELAXATION Swedish, Deep Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology Qi Gong • Thai Chi • Acupuncture Cupping herbs • Infrared Sauna • Same-day Appointments Walk-ins Welcome • Treatments Start at $20 - Insurance Accepted Gift Certificates • Open 7 days, 10 AM to 8 PM

707.762.9111 • 172 Keller Street, Petaluma THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

49


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50

11.25.09-12.01.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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g Pet Services

ANIMAL LOVERS You can make a difference. People for Animal Liberation (PAL) in Sonoma County advocates for animals. More info email: jasminethevegan@yahoo.com

Place your pet related ad here today! Call 707.527.1200

Shadow is the first ever 2time winner of our volunteer's Cat of the Week contest.....and yet she remains homeless! She's a 5 year old Tuxedo cat (and they're the best!) with a lovely Zen-like personality; loves to climb into your lap and once there, she's there for the duration. Come meet this contest winner and take her home! To learn more about adopting Shadow or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

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The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

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In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. To buy access, go to www.realastrology.com. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888 or 1.900.950.7700.

WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa

Meet Shadow • Kitty of the Week

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Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11am

Meet Gabe • Doggie of the Week

Meet Monkey • Doggie of the Week

I ain't nothin but a hound dog but I've got a great personality and LOTS of energy. I love to walk, run, and chase things down so I'm a great active companion for an active human – and that face! How can you resist? I'm really still a puppy at 1 year old so we'll have many happy hound adventures together. Let's get started! To learn more about adopting Gabe or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

A 2 year old Chihuahua. Boy do I live up to my name; I'm full of monkey business and am darn cute if I do say so myself! I must have been a mountain climber in a past life since I'm pretty good at climbing certain kinds of gates and fences. I love walks, head rubs, and playtime in the yard. To learn more about adopting Monkey or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org


BOHEMIAN FLIPSIDE

To place your ad call 707.527.1200

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B SANTA ROSA 707.576.0818 www.srtp.net

We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and Heroin utilizing replacement medications. We also treat Methamphetamine and other stimulant dependence. s 3UBUTEX3UBOXONE AVAILABLE s 0ROVIDING 4REATMENT SINCE  s #ONFIDENTIALITY ASSUREd

Heal Back Pain with Silver Cloud

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS Finding inspiration and connecting with your community The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness Reading room, art gallery, prayer/ meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121 Santa Rosa Shambhala Meditation Center Free instruction and practice opportunities Tuesday 4:30-5:30 PM, Wednesday 7 PM, Sunday 10 AM - 11:15 AM. www.santarosa.shambhala.org

Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8:45pm Prayers for World Peace, Sun, 10:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11:45am Everyone welcome. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North, Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org 6th Annual JCC Meditation Retreat Bittul haYesh: Uncovering the Authentic Self. ALL WELCOME in spiritual practices of meditation, sacred Hebrew chant, mystical storytelling, yoga, nature, more. Dec 4-6, Petaluma. www.jccsoco.org/meditation or call (707) 528-4222 x 330

Share your organizationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly!

Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

Align Spine, Relax Muscles, add Flexibility. Lose WeightInflammation-Sleep Better. Far-infrared Jade Massage Beds do it all. Great Holiday demo model discounts. Try it at 1030 Second St., Santa Rosa. Hours and Info call: 707-888-7727

Golden Star Grafix Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

MacAdvantage Macintosh Computer Repair FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Answer Calls, Hardware/Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email, Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6.

707.664.0400, info@themacadvantage.com

Joe Louvar Productions QUALITY LIVE AUDIO RECORDING 707.479.0050

Goebel Builders Jay Goebel, General Contractor, Lic. #812957 Quality Workmanship, Friendly Service, and Dependability You Can Trust. Insured with Local references Repairs, Custom Builds, and Troubleshooting Call today and get the job DONE! 707-794-7955 www.goebelbuilders.com

Youth Failing School or School Failing Our Youth ? Try Rancho Bodega School - Small Group/One on One Instruction - Enriched Middle/High School Curriculum - Special Studies/Independent Study Emphasizing Music & Art Serving Grades 7-12 NOW ENROLLING !! Call 707-795-7166 www.ranchobodegaschool.com

Santa Rosa Plumbing Water Conservation Experts. Friendly, Honest Service. Licensed, Bonded and Insured. License #871026

tankless water heaters, high efficiency toilets recirculation, general plumbing needs 707.528.8228

Green Earth Catering

Rocks and Clouds Zendo Meditation and Dharma Talk

Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager. 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

Photography by Paul Burke

Wednesday nights, 7:00 p.m. 618 South Main Street, Sebastopol. www.rocksandclouds.org 707/824-5647.

707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

Blue Christmas Contemplative Gathering

Exploring The Human Element in Business. Call us for a FREE, expert consultation @ 707.483.5135. Our Team Does it All; from Website to Powerful Staff Motivation. Ask About Our Stimulus Package.

This contemplative gathering allows for a quiet time of reflection in word, song and prayerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; focusing on Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s presence and comfort for those who grieve the many losses experienced over the past year. Tues, Dec 1, 7-8:30 p.m., Journey Center, Santa Rosa, 707-578-2121, www.journeycenter.org.

Euro Business Solutions

Advertise all your business needs here. Call 707.527.1200 Sales@bohemian.com

THE BOHEMIAN

11.25.09-12.01.09

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Relapse Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Mean Failure

SKIRT CHASER VINTAGE

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

NEW LOCATION! 208 Davis Street., Railroad Square 707546-4021. ALWAYS BUYING!

Vendors Needed For Holidaze Boutique at Crosswalk Community Church, 445 South Mary Avenue, Sunnyvale. Date: Dec 5 and 6, 9am to 5pm. Email: pgraves@crosswalkchruch.com for information and application or call 408-736-3120.

Photography by Paul Burke

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SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B, Santa Rosa

MEDICAL MARIJUANA EVALUATIONS Affordable, Professional, & Trusted. Appt. within 1 week GUARANTEED!! Call (707) 568-0420 24/7 Verification www.GREEN215.com

707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

BE ASHAME T â&#x20AC;&#x2122; N D DO

Medical Marijuana Evaluations Local. Independent. Comprehensive. Absolute lowest fee. 10% off for Seniors and Vets. Be legal. Be safe. Call for your confidential appt. 707-528-1829.

Affordable Couples Counseling Compassionate, Sensitive, Effective Psychotherapy for Relationship Problems John Omaha, Ph.D. Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern Under supervision of Lanie Abrams, MFT (#28231) Free Introductory Session Sliding Scale Call Today: 707-545-5363

Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

Donate Your Auto 800.380.5257 We do all DMV. Free pick up- running or not (restrictions apply). Live operators- 7 days! Help the Polly Klaas Foundation provide safety information and assist families in bringing kids home safely.

Black Cat Bar & Humble Pie Restaurant

TO "Mendocino County's Original"

Golden Star Grafix

Santa Rosa. NEXT DAY appointments with M.D. Best price. 24/7 authentication. 707-575-7375. Further discount for seniors and veterans. Read: www.mmc.medical-library.net

New Cotati Office Now Open. 866-632-6627 Free I.D. card. 24/7 verification. Doctor/patient confidentiality. Lic. MD. Discount for MediCal, MediCare and Vets.

ORGANICS

Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

Medical Marijuana Certifications

Medicann - Med. Marijuana Evaluations

Northstone

SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal!

Y! A GO HOME THIS HOLID

Music, Drink Specials, Seriously Delicious Food! Open Mic Wednesday nights. A must try! The Black Cat is located at 10056 Main St., Penngrove, 707.793.9480. Check it out now!

STOP FORECLOSURE FAST!!! Short sale experts. www.winwinproperties.net. 415-785-8195

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help you!

Reichian Therapy

We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and heroin using replacement medications. We also treat methamphetamine and alcohol dependence. â&#x20AC;˘ Providing Treatment since 1984 â&#x20AC;˘ Confidentiality assured

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WWW.NORTHSTONEORGANICS.COM

707-485-8814

* For qualified patients only. Valid California I.D. and Doctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recommendation required.

1901 Cleveland Ave Suite B, Santa Rosa

707-576-0818 www.srtp.net Green Earth Catering Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job! Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help.(707) 576-0818.

Come alive to your sexuality & joy of lifeâ&#x20AC;Ś

R

eichian therapy is a non-verbal â&#x20AC;&#x153;breathingâ&#x20AC;? therapy. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an effective way to free blocked energies, release anger and reawaken to your natural vitality and pleasure through the breathing, movement and sounds of Reichian sessions.

Michele T. Newmark, M.S., D.D., A.C.S., has been involved in the study of human sexuality for over 30 years. Santa Rosa: 707-538-3778 SF: 415-775-6145 www.thecenter-sf.org â&#x20AC;˘ michelet@sonic.net


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