October 2014 Mississippi Christian Living

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Volume 9, Number 4 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@mschristianliving.com Associate Editor: Suzanne Durfey

columns 8 The Way I See It Prayer—Is It Time Wasted?

10 Community Outreach St. Dominic’s Cancer Boutique

12 Let’s Talk It Over How to Heal When the Heart Hurts

14 Education Connection When It’s Your Child—The New Face of Drugs

18 Welcome Home Fall Ideas for Hearth and Home

features

27

20 Modern Motherhood There is Hope!

Joni Eareckson Tada

22 Let’s Get Real

His Grace IS Sufficient

Bruised on the Inside

24 Food for Thought

38

Healthy Treats

38 Living My Call Jennifer Rotschild— Empowering Women to Be Gutsy

42 Pastor’s Perspective

24

The Picture on the Box— How the Bible Fits Together

44 The Doctor Is In Man vs. Nature

47 Legal Advice My Kids’ Names Are on Everything—Is That Okay?

44

10

in every issue

What’s Coming Next Month?

Breck Tyler—Former MSU Bulldog and Ole Miss Rebel Talks Gratitude and Things That Matter

6 48 49 50 50

Editor’s Letter Rave Reviews Events Calendar Quips & Quotes Advertiser Index

➺

CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving

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Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens, Suzanne Durfey, Jill Waycaster West, Tara Dowden, Ashley J. Smith Jenny Ruth Kennedy Contributing Writers Lydia Bolen, Laurel Boyd, Amanda Jane Brown, Dr. Garreth Cockerill, Adrian Hickmon, Susan Marquez, Carey Miller, Susan E. Richardson, Ruth Ann Rigby, Suzanne B. Russell, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr., Elizabeth Wynn Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Laura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley, Amanda Weems

Mississippi Christian Living 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C Ridgeland, MS 39157 Phone 601-790-9076 • Fax 601-790-9078 www.mschristianliving.com

Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and lifechanging encounter with Jesus Christ.

Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents.

However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2013 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

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4 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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➺editor’s letter A Different Perspective on the Tough Stuff …Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…Hebrews 12:1-2 (NKJV) hen I mentioned to one of our contributors that this month’s magazine would touch on special needs, breast cancer, and suffering, she gave me a puzzled look. I felt the same way a few months ago as I glanced ahead at our editorial calendar and noticed October’s topics. Joni Eareckson Tada is

W

❝

Suffering is unbearable if you aren’t certain that God is for you and with you.

❞

– TIM KELLER

In the article on Chip and Christy Henderson in our September issue, we failed to mention that Pinelake’s multiple campuses include a site in Clinton. It was actually the third location and was launched in 2009.

Many of the servant leaders there helped train and prepare those who launched the fourth location in Starkville in 2011. MS Christian Living apologizes for our error!

quadriplegic. Jennifer Rothschild is blind. That does not sound like a recipe for inspiration, but it is.

I cannot think of any two women God has used more powerfully. Nor can I think of any two who are more authentic and Christlike. Nor can I think of many who had greater physical challenges to discourage them, to cause doubt, or to rob them of joy. After all, they could easily be the poster children for the phrase, “Life is not fair.” Who could blame them for living with a victim complex?

Rejoicing in our suffering is one of the many paradoxes of the Christian faith. We live in a kind of “upside-down” kingdom where the Bible tells us to rejoice in suffering, to give thanks in ALL circumstances, and that those who are persecuted for their faith are blessed. We are to love those who hate us, go the second mile when we are forced to go the first against our will—pretty countercultural in every way. Following Jesus is not for the faint of heart because it’s definitely a lifestyle that begins and ends with “It’s not about you.”

Remember the famous Forrest Gump phrase, “Life is like a box of chocolates.You never know what you are going to get.” Following Jesus is, in some ways, like a box of chocolates, too.You never know exactly what is around the next corner of this earthly life. The life we plan and the life we get can be very dissimilar.

We read in Hebrews 13 that Jesus himself promised to never leave us or forsake us. That makes all the difference when our world has been broken into a million little pieces. Facing that bend in the road alone and not knowing Jesus in that crisis moment—not knowing HIM is a bigger crisis than any actual crisis.

I was listening to the radio in the car on my way to a funeral in Grenada recently. I’d had more than enough of breaking news. (I think I have confessed often that news talk is my unhealthy addiction.) I came across Dr. David Jeremiah teaching a very basic lesson in Christianity 101. He was explaining salvation. For those of us who have been in church our entire lives, we can flip our brains on autopilot at times and because we have heard it so often, forget the utter wonder of Jesus’ sacrifice and what it means to each one of us personally.

Dr. Jeremiah gave me a new perspective when he said, “Let’s say God will trade you your eternal life for the greatest desire of your heart.You could have anything you want in exchange for heaven. He could give you a million dollars a week, every week, for the rest of your life. He could heal cancer, end a chronic pain. Or he could keep you young and toned and fit and incredibly beautiful for the rest of your life.” Just fill in the blanks. We could have whatever our little hearts desired and we could have it in abundance as long as our physical bodies lived.

Dr. Jeremiah made his point well. There is nothing God can possibly give to anyone that is greater than the gift he has already given. His mercy withholds the penalty we all deserve and His grace gives the reward we cannot earn.

It has only been in the last few years that I came to realize in my very small and finite way what it means when God speaks of His ways being higher than our ways. He is never oblivious to our hurts or challenges. He sees what we cannot see in our human form, and He is indeed always working with our eternal destiny in mind—the loving Father who sees the big picture.

We genuinely wish to speak to that very idea in this issue. Happy reading. But more than that— we hope to encourage your very heart. Y

6 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@MSChristianliving.com

➺the way i see it

by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

Prayer Is It Time Wasted?

I

have a friend who knows just how to challenge me in faith walk. He likes to ask me periodically,“How is your prayer life?” Even when I know the question is coming, I

still squirm with my response. It is rarely where I would like it to be. It is not because I am trying to fulfill my Christian “To Do” list. Instead, I know how valuable and life-changing a life of prayer is, and yet I easily slip into a habit of failing to properly prioritize the time. English philosopher and statesman Sir Thomas More was once scolded by his friends for wasting so much time going to Mass every day. More replied, “Your reasons for wanting me to stay away from Holy Communion are exactly the ones which cause me to go so often…I have very much important business to handle; I need Time in prayer often falls light and wisdom. It is for these very reasons that I go into the bucket of important to Holy Communion every but not urgent. It usually day to consult Jesus about doesn’t become important them.” I have been reflecting until a crisis occurs. on his words and the importance that More put on his time with the Lord.

Similar to More, author E.M. Bounds understood the importance of prayer. Bounds wrote 11 books, and nine of those are on prayer. His words have probably inspired me more on this topic than any other author. Bounds said, “We can do nothing without prayer. All things can be done by importunate (persistent) prayer. It surmounts or removes all obstacles, overcomes every resisting force, and gains its ends in the face of invincible hindrances.” He also believed that time with God should be first on his agenda. Bounds said, “I feel it is far better to begin with God, to see His face first, to get my soul near Him before it is near another. In general it is best to have at least one hour alone with

God before engaging in anything else.”

I believe it is easy to fall into two traps of thinking on the topic of spending intentional time on our knees at the feet of the Father. One is that there is not enough time. God has given us the same amount of time in each day—24 hours (1,440 minutes). I hate to admit it, but the real question is how I choose to spend that time. What are my true priorities? Time in prayer often falls into the bucket of important but not urgent. It usually does not become urgent until a crisis occurs. It is easy to overlook the true power in prayer. Bounds noted, “Prayer is of transcendent importance. Prayer is the mightiest agent to advance God's work. Praying hearts and hands only can do God's work. Prayer succeeds when all else fails.”

The second trap is thinking there is nothing important to be praying about. More said he was busy with important business, and he was.

However, I would argue that all of us have the opportunity to be busy with important business. We have children (or grandchildren) to raise up as spiritual champions. We have work to do with excellence unto the Lord. We have friends, family, and neighbors with prayer needs. I have heard it said that most people are either coming out of a difficult time, in the middle of one, or about to face one. In my experience, I have found that to be true. As a follower of Christ, I believe our brief stint here on this planet matters. I occasionally need to remind myself of this fact. As we realize the importance of utilizing our time here for God’s business, I think it is easier to be intentional about staying connected in prayer with the Father. Maybe next time my friend puts me on the spot—I will be ready! Y Martin E. Willoughby, Jr,. is Chief Operating Officer of Butler Snow Advisory Services, LLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife, Nicki, have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Memphis, Tennessee.

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➺community outreach

by SUSAN MARQUEZ

St. Dominic’s Cancer Boutique or most women, shopping is a preferred activity. Getting together with girlfriends and trying on beautiful clothes is something most women look forward to. But for

F

a woman who’s had to deal with cancer, there’s little joy in a leisurely shopping trip.Yet, in the middle of a sterile hospital environment, there’s a cozy little boutique that has cancer patients excited about shopping once again.

The first of its kind in the Jackson area, the St. Dominic’s Cancer Boutique offers products and services that help minimize the effects of cancer therapy. Cancer patients have unique issues and needs, and the boutique has products to make their lives more comfortable. The boutique first opened in July 2013, in the back of the Spa at St. Dominic’s, but has since moved to a new, larger location in the main hospital, on the first floor across from the lab.

The boutique is committed to the community of cancer and breast cancer patients with a remarkably tranquil area for all their prosthesis, garment, and personal care needs. In the boutique, patients experience one-on-one comforting care. Caitlin Smith and Angela Lewis have been co-managers of the boutique since it opened. “We want our customers to feel comfortable when they come here,” said Smith.

“I think our new location is wonderful and everyone seems to love it.”

Specializing in mastectomy forms, boutique have their mastectomy needs met in a personnel offer gentle care for mastectomy peaceful, cozy setting. patients. Patients and survivors feel more The first of its kind in the Jackson Many patients first find out about the comfortable in the private fitting room, and they boutique from their doctor. “Our doctors are area, the St. Dominic’s Cancer can be assured of a perfect fit with the services wonderful,” said Smith. “They are great about Boutique offers products and of a professional mastectomy fitter. A full line of referring customers to us. A patient must have a mastectomy bras, mastectomy prosthetics, and services that help minimize the prescription for a mastectomy prosthetic, and breast forms are available. And because many effects of cancer therapy. we’ll file insurance for them. We work to make it people choose to remain active postas easy as possible for them. We keep it all inmastectomy, there is mastectomy swimwear and house so that the patient doesn’t have to drive exercise wear. With a full line of headscarves, all over town.” The boutique is open to everyone, and Smith says that there is also a private room for all headwear needs. often people will come in to purchase “happies” for a friend or family The boutique also carries items such as lymphedema sleeves, member. “We have all kinds of gifts, including cancer scarves and hats.

DermaQol Skincare, wicking garments for night sweats, and We also have lots of really pretty stuff.” therapeutic creams, as well as a large assortment of surgical garments, The St. Dominic’s Cancer Boutique is open Monday through Friday comfortable post-surgical pajamas, and specialty gift items. Each item from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. For more information, call the boutique at is carefully selected to helping cancer patients and survivors look and 601.200.5111. Y feel their best before, during, and after cancer treatment, and each comes with the compassionate care that the St. Dominic’s staff is Susan Marquez, a professional writer and "empty nester," Susan enjoys famous for. life in Madison with her husband, Larry.They enjoy watching their son, The idea to open the cancer boutique came to a former director of Joe, play football for Millsaps College and they marvel at the miracle of retail services at St. Dominic’s after she had a personal experience daughter, Nicole, who has survived the unimaginable and is now a with someone who had a mastectomy. She realized that there was a sought-after motivational speaker. Susan is currently writing a book about Nicole. (To learn more, visit www.youcantstopthisdancer.com.) tremendous need in the market for a place where women could go 10 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

CAROLYN MILLER Jackson, MS

OUR INSPIRATION...CAROLYN’S STRENGTH “I was never afraid because I knew God had placed me... in the right place, which was St. Dominic’s”

The warning signs of cancer are not something to be taken lightly. Routine check-ups and self-exams of your breast could be the one thing that helps save your life. Carolyn Miller, patient at St. Dominic’s and breast cancer survivor, was fortunate that her cancer was detected after finding her lump during her self-exam.

For more information about our cancer services and women’s surgery visit stdom.com. Contact the Center for Women’s Health at 601.200.8000 to schedule your mammogram.

Remember, early detection is key.

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➺let’s talk it over

by LAUREL BOYD, LPC, LMFTA

HOW TO HEAL

When the Heart Hurts et’s say you are walking along one of the beautiful winding paths of the Natchez Trace on a gorgeous, fall day enjoying God’s creation. Suddenly, you misstep and take a very hard tumble.

Thankfully, you don’t think anything is broken, but you have a nasty cut on your leg.Your leg has just experienced a trauma. What do you do now? Well, it depends on how bad the trauma (cut) is and how your body responds to it. Maybe it is just enough to brush yourself off and remind yourself to be more careful.

Maybe you need help getting home, but then putting some ointment it is enough. Or maybe you need to go to a hospital and have medical intervention.

As we are going down the winding paths of life, we often face a different kind of trauma— emotional trauma. The various kinds of

L

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emotional trauma people face are too numerous to list, but some examples are: abuse, divorce, death of a loved one or close friend, or wayward children. They actually don’t even have to be that extreme. An instance where you felt bullied or had unkind words said to you, had dreams or expectations that were crushed, or not making the sorority you’d planned on, can absolutely be emotional trauma.

An instance where you felt bullied or had unkind words said to you, had dreams or expectations that were crushed, or not making the sorority you’d planned on, can absolutely be emotional trauma.

Just like a medical trauma, an emotional trauma needs treating. The treatment might simply just be processing through it mentally and reminding yourself to be more careful.

Guard your heart so that it’s less likely to happen again if possible—maybe choosing friends that build you up instead of tear you down. Or maybe you need to process it through with someone else. I very strongly think that God made us to be relational.

Sometimes the balm is simply to share your experience with someone in your life who listens, and cares, and can validate you. But sometimes the trauma is too much to handle on your own and you need intervention.

It would be ridiculous for a person with a serious injury that needed medical attention to say, “I should be able to handle this on my own. I should be able to just get over this alone.” In the same way, sometimes, emotional trauma needs therapy.

Our brains are absolutely amazing! We have one part of it called the limbic system— where our emotions and experiences are stored. Our thinking and reasoning takes place in a different part—the neocortex.

These parts send messages back and forth.

When our brain experiences an emotional

trauma, the communication between these two parts can shut off surrounding the issue.

We can get a “clog” in our limbic system. I think of it as if we are taking the thing that was too hard to deal with, packing it away in a box, and putting a lid on it. People often refer to this as “sweeping it under the rug.”

They just keep it stuck there undealt with in the limbic system.

Unfortunately our brains don’t like having something unprocessed, so oftentimes various pathologies manifest to compensate for the uncomfortableness of our brains wanting to work through something, but us trying to shut our brain up. This can be alcohol, drugs, sex, or even different mental pathologies. At a recent conference I attended on emotional trauma, a statistic was given that up to 79 percent of pathologies— like Borderline Personality Disorder, bipolar disorder, and even ADHD—can be rooted in unresolved trauma.

A trained counselor can help you open up the box that you have hidden away—and slowly and safely unpack the trauma, and process through it. Of course, it does not change what happened. But there is something very healing about bringing it back to the surface and talking through it that allows your brain to reorganize the experience. And when you explore the situation, new facets about it can emerge that allow it to expand to a manageable place in your mind—and ultimately, in your life.Y

Laurel Boyd, LPC, LMFTA, is a therapist at Summit Counseling of First Baptist Church Jackson. She specializes in couples, families, teens, and drug and alcohol issues. To contact her, please call 601.949.1949 or email her at lboyd@fbcj.org.

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S k i l l e d H a n d s . C o m p a s s i o n at e H e a r t s . mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 13

➺education connection

by ADRIAN HICKMON, PhD, LMFT, LPC

When It’s Your Child—The New Face of Drugs or parents, the sweetest sound we can hear is when the word “Dad” or “Mom” is spoken to us.

F

Today the Drug Culture is like a pie with many slices. There is still a slice that is identified as the stoners, but now it includes every single part of the social pie: honor students; athletes; musically-talented; Christians; country folks; preps; computer wizards; popular; unpopular; good looking; rich, poor; educated; uneducated; white; black; Hispanic; etc.

which has hurt, killed, and ruined more people than all the other drugs put together. It also included marijuana, although the average joint smoked at Woodstock in 1969 was only 4 We began our connection to these words percent as potent as the average joint on the when we discovered that we were going to be street today. And most teens and young adults parents, either by birthing or adopting a baby. smoke the most potent which is up to 60 times We dads started pretty quickly getting the the THC. The menu also included heroin, “gaze” eye contact with our little miracle and cocaine, nicotine, and several others. saying “da da da” hoping that they would be Today, the mathematically possible choices the first words spoken while moms were doing on the Drug Menu are multiplied several times the same with “ma ma ma.” That was a golden over; the selections on the menu are as time when we had all the hopes and dreams different as going to MacDonald’s in the sixties of a bright future for and with our children. and going to a food court in a mall today.

Hopes and dreams filled with fun, family, Let’s take a look at just one of the new friends, relationship with God, Christmas drugs on the menu, a dangerous and relatively memories, birthdays, graduations, ball games, new designer drug officially known as 25irecitals, first dates, weddings and fishing trips.

NBOMe. It is most commonly referred to as As they grew, our hopes and dreams grew. simply “25I” or “N-Bomb”. “Smiles” is another As one of the above parents, imagine nickname for N-Bomb and other closely suddenly moving from those hopes and related substances. dreams to a nightmare.You are Unfortunately, designer drugs often slip in a hospital room standing by through the cracks in terms of drug a bed in which lies the baby enforcement, making them legal until The Eckhardt family in happier times. child who called you one of deemed otherwise by the authorities. these sweet names. He / she is With regards to N-Bomb, which had now a teenager or young adult previously been legal, the fatalities and with tubes, monitors, linked to its use resulted in the Drug respirators, and other life Enforcement Administration classifying supporting equipment it as a Schedule I controlled substance attached to them. The doctor The array of drugs in October 2013. The authorities have walks in and asks you if you not been lenient with those individuals have made a decision.You and out there look safe, colorful, and harmless. who either sold or supplied the drug to your spouse look at each other They aren’t. those who have suffered or died from and nod, “Turn off the life its effects. support, we have to let him go.”

N-Bomb, and other hallucinogens, is Connor Reid Eckhardt was just 19 when his known for causing powerfully altered parents experienced this scene in real life.

The nightmare for the Eckhardt family was perceptions, including brightly colored Connor died after smoking just one hit of losing their son Conner. and widely distorted visual images. synthetic drug called Spice. After Connor fell Why? Why is the drug culture expanding Some users of the drug have described its into a coma and was kept on life support for effects as “Nirvana” and “ecstasy”, reporting four days, he was declared brain dead and the its boundaries? Why are so many teens and young adults vulnerable to the dangers of “trips” very similar to those experienced with hopes and dreams ended. "You would think it drugs? Why is the death of a young person to LSD. As is typically the case with psychedelics, would be safe, would be OKAY, it's an drugs so commonplace? the unpredictable effects of N-Bomb have alternative to marijuana and it's anything but The answer is like a jigsaw puzzle picture varied widely from one individual to the next. that. It's a deadly poison," Connor's father with many pieces and for each individual kid Pleasurable effects of N-Bomb may include: Devin Eckhardt told TODAY. and family there is a different picture that euphoria, bright moving colors and other vivid Back in the 60s and 70s, the “Drug Culture” answers that question. visual hallucinations, spiritual “awakening”, a was mostly made up of people described as One undisputed piece of the puzzle is sense of profoundness, positive mood, stoners, dope heads, or junkies. There was a accessibility. Research and common sense enhanced awareness, enhanced creativity, clear delineation of the social groups—similar point repeatedly to the strong correlation of loving feelings, sexual sensations and to the “Socs and Greasers” from the bookaccessibility and abuse/addiction. enhanced desire. Side effects of N-Bomb may turned-movie The Outsiders—the in-crowd Accessibility refers to the number of options include: psychosis, altered state of and the out-of-it-crowd. Drug Culture and the ease with which those options are consciousness, agitation, erratic behavior, members didn’t hang out with other social accessed. First let’s look at the number chills, flushing, severe double vision, teeth groups and vice versa, so they were clearly of options. grinding, jaw clenching, dilated pupils, recognizable. However, today there is a new The Drug Menu in 1969 included alcohol— depressed mood, confusion, nausea, intense face to the Drug Culture, actually many faces.

14 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

negative emotions, paranoia, intense anxiety, muscle spasms and contractions, insomnia, impaired communication, vasoconstriction, swelling of feet, hands, face, kidney damage/failure, seizures, heart failure, coma and asphyxiation (Teen Seizures and Deaths Linked to Dangerous Designer Drug “NBomb” – Part 1, Addiction Treatment Magazine, April 18, 2014).

So many parents that I’ve worked with have said, “How did he get it?” because their misperception was that drugs are difficult to obtain. Unfortunately, today, any junior high kid in America can, in a matter of days or less, obtain any drug on the menu. To have had that ability in the 60s, a person would have had to have connections to organized crime.

A fitting comparison would be Deener Creek, the little creek that runs through the middle of your town, and Niagara Falls.

Another dominant factor in the vulnerability to drugs has to do with a type of tolerance— even before drugs or alcohol are used.

Tolerance is a term that refers to the process of needing more to get the same effect. For example, a person might drink three beers the first time they ever drink, but then in a year they are drinking six to get the same feeling from the original three. This means their tolerance has increased. The faster the tolerance pace, the more indicative—or predictive—of addiction.

Teens and young adults today have had more neural stimulation to their brains’ reward systems that any generation in history. Like the beer example above, the events that used to produce euphoria, or reward/pleasure, in their brains, are now experienced as boring, monotone, or “no big deal.” It is like a high jump bar in the brain is set at seven feet and the jumper clears it many times. Then the bar is set at four feet. It is not rewarding or exciting anymore.

Adults remember the television sets with a dial that took us to a whopping three stations—ABC, NBC, and CBS. Programming ended by midnight and was only in black and white. Compare that menu to the hundreds of options we have on our TV menu today. Now find and old black and white channel and watch it exclusively. Not very “euphoric” is it?

This is very similar to the current state of our children’s brains. The baseline of euphoria, meaning experiences that activate the reward/pleasure centers of the brain, is much higher than it has ever been. Many times when kids try a drug, it is because everything else in their life falls short of that threshold of euphoria.

There are many other jigsaw puzzle pieces that answer the question, “Why?” that we will highlight in future articles, but one thing is for certain with each of them. When it is your child you have to ask the question, “What makes this make sense?” What makes it make sense that my son or daughter would partake of mood altering chemicals? Not what makes it right or smart. Not to take away responsibility, accountability or consequences.

But to retrace the vine to the roots, if you will, to discover what lies beneath their behavior, attitude, and emotions.

Answers to these questions are vital to first prevent children from falling prey to this deception. Second, if it is your child in the battle now, understanding how they got there is vital to helping them win.

Knowing what lies beneath for each child is necessary for parents, church leaders, and professionals to perform effective “field triage” in medical emergency situations. In field triage, the red category refers to situations that demand a trauma center. If an improper triage is conducted and a red category victim is sent to a local walk-in clinic, the inaccurate triage could cost a life. If a

victim has a broken bone, effective triage does not send them to a urologist, but instead to an orthopedic doctor. A heart attack victim is not triaged to a gastroenterologist. Similarly, when a child is using drugs and sexual trauma is what lies beneath, triaging that person to a counselor untrained in trauma therapy would not likely have a good outcome.

Unfortunately, children like Connor are already lost and the hole in the hearts of his family and friends will remain empty in this life.

But for the children who are still alive—even those who are deep into the drug culture— there is HOPE! For more information, contact us at 866.729.4479 or capstonetreatmentcenter.com.

Y Other Resources: National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependency at 601.899.5880.

National Institute on Drug Abuse for Teens teens.drugabuse.gov/parents/drugs-and-your-kids MS Department of Mental Health Alcohol and Drug Services - dmh.ms.gov/alcohol-and-drug-services Internet Safety Monitoring - internetsafety.com/safeeyes-parental-control-software.php TeenSafe Phone Monitoring - teensafe.com Information on Spice -drugabuse.gov/publications/ drugfacts/spice-synthetic-marijuana

Adrian Hickmon was a football coach for 14 years. In 2001 he founded Capstone Treatment Center in Searcy, Arkansas, where he now serves as the CEO. Capstone has worked with almost 900 families from 43 states and 3 countries outside the US. Hickmon holds a PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy from Virginia Tech and is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor. Dr. Hickmon has over 25,000 hours of therapy and supervision-of-therapy experience. He and his wife, JoAnna, have been married for 39 years; have two daughters, twin son, and three grandsons.

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Drop the cough.

A cough that comes with a common cold usually goes away on its own, but what about coughs that last three to eight weeks? A persistent cough is more than annoying—it’s a symptom. The specialists at The Cough Center can evaluate you for underlying health issues and help control that cough.

SIGNS YOUR COUGH MAY NEED MORE THAN A COUGH DROP: • Lack of sleep • Muscle fatigue • Social anxiety • Urinary incontinence

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➺welcome home

by AMANDA JANE BROWN

FALLIdeasfor Hearth and Home

all is finally in the air! What better way to celebrate than with fall recipes and a touch of the beautiful season in your home! As a busy mom, I am continuously looking

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for simple, affordable, seasonal décor and recipes that are uncomplicated, but still delicious.

Both recipes below can be prepared in just minutes! Caramel Apple Dip is always a crowd-pleaser, popular with kids to adults alike. Chocolate Chip Muffins start with a boxed muffin mix, making the perfect quick gift for teachers, office staff, or neighbors. Y

Quick Choc o Chiplate Pumpk Muffinsin

Simple Fall Cente rpiece

Simple Fall Centerpiece

Quick Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins 1 box Duncan Hines Pumpkin Spice Cupcake mix (Limited Edition in stores now) 2 eggs 3/4 cup water 1/4 cup oil 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, mini size Preheat oven to 350. Blend cake mix, eggs, water, and oil with mixer on low speed until moistened.

Scrape bowl and beat at medium speed for 2 minutes. Grease 12 regular-sized muffin cups. Spoon batter evenly into muffin cups.

Bake for 18-20 minutes.

18 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Oftentimes, the most beautiful things in your home are the easiest to create!

Fall hurricane vases are perfect centerpieces, coffee table décor, or fall party decorations!

Fill any clear glass hurricane or vase with layers of your favorite-colored beans, peas, or corn. There are many other filler options at your local grocery store! Idea shown includes corn kernels, small red beans, and split green peas. If you add a candle, place candle in container immediately after adding bottom layer of filler, then fill in next layers around the candle.

For more easy recipes and decorative ideas like these, visit my blog, AmandaJaneBrown.com!

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Easy Caramel Apple Dip 8 1/2 1/2 1 6

“Affordable Maintenance Programs Available”

oz. cream cheese, softened cup brown sugar cup sugar teaspoon vanilla extract oz. Almond Toffee bits (Bits 'O Brickle) Sliced apples—Granny Smith are a great pairing, but any apple will work.

Lemon juice

Using mixer, mix all ingredients well. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Serve with sliced apples.

Amanda is a blogger and writer at www.AmandaJaneBrown.com and shares affordable and simple seasonal décor, everyday recipes, and family traditions. Amanda lives in Oxford with her husband and three children.

www.writteninstoneclean.com mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 19

➺modern motherhood

by MONICA COLE

There Is HOPE!

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 KJV ou protect your children in many ways: with coats, helmets, kneepads, and sunblock—the list goes on and on. But what about when it

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comes to what they watch or listen to on a daily basis? This has a major impact on a child’s character and behavior.

Do you ever ask yourself, “Am I the only one who feels embarrassed about what is airing on television or displayed in storefront windows?” Have you ever been stunned to find out what is considered suitable for a family network? Or watched a ballgame when an inappropriate commercial came on and you could not get to the remote quick enough?

Then there are the magazines at checkout lanes that you find yourself flipping over to reveal a back cover almost as bad as or worse than the front cover. Not to mention the billboards for gentlemen’s clubs you may see as you are driving down the highway.

Sound familiar?

You may naturally have some anxiety about the influences all around us, especially with social media, smartphones and other challenges. It can become overwhelming if you feel alone in this struggle. But you are not.

There is hope!

Do you just not know where to start? If you are you fed up with the filth thrown at our children and all the negative influences that could pull them away from the biblical influences you teach at home, I urge you to become a member of OneMillionMoms.com.

Despite our name, our membership is open to all.

1MM has been extremely successful in cleaning up media from television programs, commercials, advertisements, billboards and storefront windows. 1MM is an organization that targets inappropriate content in the entertainment industry. Members respond to alerts by emailing the sponsors or advertisers as well as the companies producing the filth.

1MM’s success is proof that when Christians band together, mountains can be 20 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

moved. Victories are listed online at OneMillionMoms.com, whether it is because sponsors pulled support from a vulgar or blasphemous show, or a company cleaning up or removing a commercial. For example, less than 48 hours after 1MM contacted Capital One, the company updated their commercial to leave out profanity.

1MM’s mission is extremely important since what you view becomes a part of you and children imitate what they hear and see.

Garbage in equals garbage out!

When it comes to raising children with Godly morals and biblical values, it is tougher than ever. One day we will be accountable to answer for how we raised our children. Obviously, you want what is best for your family and so does t he Lord. It starts with standing up for what you believe in.

Parents can be overwhelmed with day-to day activities and become too lax. Just the thought of adding anything to the daily grind is exhausting, but 1MM knows everyone is busy and makes it simple to take a stand and do what is morally right.You can show your support in 30 seconds!

When it comes to raising children with Godly morals and biblical values, it is tougher than ever. One day we will be accountable to answer for how we raised our children.

Obviously, you want what is best for your family and so does the Lord. It starts with standing up for what you believe in.

God will never give up on you, and knowing that He is on your side should give every mom the courage to be brave and stand up for what is right. It is rewarding to know that we are doing everything we can for our

children’s wellbeing, and leave the rest to God. We must not give up; our children are counting on us!

People often say, “Children do not come with a handbook.” But God has provided us with His Word, which instructs us on how to protect our children from negative influences.

So stay on guard! A well-grounded, faithbelieving family is definitely worth having!

With that comes hard work and dedication.

Edmund Burke once said, “All that is required for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” 1MM is the most powerful tool you have to stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children.

Just think, there is a network of other moms with the same concerns and beliefs you have.

God is using 1MM to stand up for decency by being media watchdogs. Together, and with God’s help, 1MM is making a difference for our children. We CAN do this!

As a member of a group of one million moms all fighting together, your voice can have a powerful impact. There is strength in numbers. When one million moms speak as a unified voice,YOUR VOICE WILL BE HEARD!

Y Monica Cole is the director of OneMillionMoms.com, a division of the American Family Association.You will often hear her on radio and television interviews that air across the country. As an activist, she has spoken at several conservative and Christian events. She lives in Tupelo, Mississippi, with her husband, Keith, and their son, Michael.

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➺let’s get real

by SUZANNE B. RUSSELL, LPC

Bruised on the Inside mom calls her daughter a ____ and a worthless ______. The dad never has one kind word for his daughter. A father threatens to beat his son to a pulp while raging for 45 minutes.

Are the parents abusing these children/teens? Most definitely!

A

Patricia Evans states in her new book, Teen Torment, it is estimated up to 50 percent of children/teens endure such torment regularly.

Why? Verbal/emotional abuse is often a generational problem; parents speak to their children the way they remember their parent(s) speaking to them. If both parents emotionally or verbally abuse the child/children, then the damage is more severe.

And there is lots of damage: a much higher incidence of underachievement; alcohol/drug abuse; severe depression/anxiety; self-harm such as cutting or burning; lower academic performance; eating disorders; and a much greater probability that the child will grow up to become an abuser or accept this treatment from a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. (However, it must be noted that not all parents who were emotionally abused by their own parents repeat the pattern. Some choose to parent differently and they are to be admired.)

Additional examples of verbal/emotional abuse include: •“You’ll never amount to anything!”

•“I’m going to take you to Brentwood if you don’t straighten up!”

•“Stop crying; you are just too sensitive!”

•“You look like trailer trash in that outfit” •“Can’t you do anything right? Where is your brain or do you have one?”

These statements are abusive to the child’s spirit. These statements are degrading, mean, and most importantly, they accomplish NOTHING worthwhile!

A child or teen being verbally/emotionally abused is intellectually unable to reject the message. Parents are the primary source of a child’s self-esteem. When even one parent is verbally/emotionally abusive, the child believes the message. By the time the child is old enough to counter the logic of the abuse, the self-image of the child is crushed.

Looking into causes of violence in schools, the National Association of Attorney Generals conducted an investigation. They published a comprehensive report entitled “Bruised Inside.” The report’s title came from a middle school girl who stated, when asked about physical violence, she said, “There is another kind of violence, and that is violence by

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talking. It can leave you hurting more than a cut with a knife. It can leave you bruised on the inside.”

Parents are not the only source of verbal/emotional abuse. Just as much abuse can come from a boyfriend/girlfriend, peers at school, coaches, and teachers. Examples include: Coaches (who think they will toughen up a teen by calling him a “girl,” “lazy,” or something worse. Teachers who may use threats such as, “You are going to fail if you don’t _____,” or, “You are just plain stupid.”

Children or teens who tease by calling peers “ugly,” a “nerd,” or a “big, fat pig.” The list is endless! A boyfriend who controls with, “Don’t let me see you talking to him again, you are worthless.” A girlfriend who rages when her boyfriend can’t text, visit, play Xbox at her demand! All of these words wound; words do hurt and the hurt can last a lifetime.

Signs that your child/teen may be suffering from emotional/ verbal abuse: 11. Increased defiance, refusing to do anything a parent asks; 12. Cursing or raging at parents/grandparents 13. Isolating, withdrawing, and spending more and more time alone; 14. Self-destructive behavior(s) such as alcohol/drug use, cutting, threats of suicide, suicide attempts;

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15. Running away from home or never wanting to be home; 16. Decrease or increase in appetite; 17. Significant increase or decrease in sleep; 18. Refusing to participate in any school or family activities; 19. Begging not to be left alone with mom or dad or not wanting to go to school; 10. Increased apathy, not caring about appearance, school, extra-curricular activities, etc.; 11. Anxiety symptoms such as chronic chest pains, stomach pains, headaches, hair pulling, obsessive hand washing, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate;

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12. Depressive symptoms such as intense anger/rages, crying, isolation, increased/ decreased appetite, sexual promiscuity, cutting, increased/decreased sleep, and/or frequent episode of defiance.

Suzanne B. Russell is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgeland, with 14 years of experience as a therapist and over 20 years’ experience as a classroom teacher. She specializes in treating children and teens with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. For more information, visit her website at www.srusselltherapy.com or call 601.707.7355.

Y A D R U T ERY SA

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Capital Orthopaedic and Sports MedicineCenter 106 Highland Way #102 Madison, MS 39110

Highland Colony Parkway

Note alcohol and/or drug abuse and juvenile delinquency can be symptoms of emotional/verbal abuse. The teen acts out because he or she is so angry that no one seems to care about how he or she feels.

Then the teen disconnects from his/her own feelings with substances and illegal behavior.

Often when one parent is abusive, the other parent attempts to compensate by being especially nice to the child thinking that will make up for the other’s abusive behavior. Unfortunately, this does not work. The child or teen still gets the message of the abuser, and that message is, “Something is wrong with me. I will never be good enough. I am not worthy of being loved. I am not deserving of affection because no one at home is affectionate with me.”

I’ve talked with hundreds of people who have been verbally and emotionally abused in their childhoods, and even though they manage their lives, there are some who never feel adequate, who are always second guessing themselves, and some who don’t have the skills needed to cope in everyday relationships. There are many who are on their second or third marriage because they keep marrying the same type of person as the abusive parent. Fortunately, these are issues that can be treated; no one should have to suffer the effects of verbal and emotional abuse alone.

Verbal abuse is much too powerful and destructive to ignore. It is rampant in our society; it is built into our culture. As with any social problem, awareness is first and intolerance of its continuance is next.

When you hear something that sounds like verbal abuse, do not accept it. Say to the abuser, “What you have just said is abusive; stop it.” If he or she ignores you, then leave the room, the building, or the relationship until the abuser gets that you are serious. Condoning abuse just makes it easier for this insidious problem in our society to continue.

If your child or teen has been abused, get her professional help. If you, or your spouse, fear that you have been abusive to your child or teen, seek the help of a qualified professional. No matter how long the problem has been happening, it is never too late for a turnaround— treatment works! Y

Broadmoor Baptist Church

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Call Capital Orthopaedic at 601-987-8200 for details. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 23

➺food for thought

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.”

by LYDIA BOLEN

– John 4:34

HEALTHY TREATS ctober is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a time of heightened awareness of our

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Those who feel deprived of sugar-filled sweets during treatment may still get to enjoy some treats with sweetness, but friends or family members who are going through from another food source. I searched for low-sugar recipes that chemotherapy and radiation treatments. incorporate sweeteners other than refined sugar.

Doctors encourage their cancer patients to eat well and build The Basic Muffin Recipe has become one of my favorites. up their immune systems.

Chocolate Chip Cookie bars are just slightly sweet with only a I have had several friends who have had chemotherapy, as half cup of chocolate chips. Coconut Lime Bites are a perfect well as radiation. Their doctors gave them a plan for a good daily natural pickup for a healthy treat. diet to enhance their systems before and during treatments.

Enjoy them all! Y

BASIC MUFFINS 4 eggs 4 very ripe bananas 1/3 cup coconut oil, melted (Melts easily in about 20 seconds in microwave) 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1/2 cup coconut flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon sea salt Add-ins: 1/2 cup shredded coconut, nuts, dried fruit, or vegan chocolate chips.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare muffin tin with liners. (If using paper liners, spray with olive oil cooking spray.)

Put all ingredients in bowl and mix together well.

Stir in a few add-ins. (l like dried cranberries and coconut flakes) Using a cookie scoop, fill muffin tin with batter. Bake 20-25 minutes. Muffins will be moist. Store in refrigerator. Can freeze.

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE BARS 2 1/2 1 1/2 2 2 1 1/4 1/3 1/2

cups almond flour teaspoon baking soda teaspoon salt teaspoons vanilla large eggs tablespoon almond milk cup coconut oil, melted cup maple syrup cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

In a separate bowl, mix together with mixer the vanilla, eggs, almond milk, oil, and syrup. Add this to the dry ingredients and mix well. Fold in the chocolate chips with a spatula.

Pour mixture into a greased 8 x 8 baking pan, smoothing out to even. Bake for 20 minutes or until the top is golden brown.

Let cool in pan before cutting into bars.

COCONUT LIME BITES 3/4 cup almonds 1/4 cup cashews 11/2 cup pitted dates Zest of 3 limes Juice of 3 limes Pinch of salt 1/3 cup unsweetened coconut flakes

Place the almonds and cashews into a blender or food processor and pulse until finely chopped. Add the dates, salt, lime zest, and juice. Blend until the mixture starts to clump together.

Transfer mixture to a bowl and scrape down the sides with a spatula. Use your hands to form small round balls. Roll each ball in the coconut flakes to coat. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to a week.

Remember to make memories through the kitchen—”the heartbeat of the home.” E-mail me at lbbolen@gmail.com for any questions.

24 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

WHAT ARE YOU

in the mood

for?

Fine Dining? Casual Dining?

Fabulous Desserts? Healthy Eating?

Beagle Bagel Cafe • Bravo Italian Restaurant & Bar Char Restaurant & Bar • Crazy Cat Bakers Julep Restaurant & Bar • Whole Foods Market

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Wednesday, November 5, 2014 • 7 p.m. – 11 p.m.

Friday, November 7, 2014 • 3:30 p.m. – 5 p.m.

SCHEDULE OF GALA EVENTS

SOLID GOLD FEATURING SUPER T Sponsored by Southern Beverage

7 p.m. – 9 p.m. Walk the Red Carpet

Friday, November 7, 2014 • 7:30 p.m. – 11 p.m.

7 p.m. – 10 p.m. Silent and Premier Auctions 9 p.m. Live Auction

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Joni Eareckson Tada His Grace IS Sufficient

uthor, artist, singer, radio personality, advocate for the disabled, conference speaker, international celebrity—Joni Eareckson Tada’s resume could intimidate even the most trophy laden among us. Her first book, Joni: The

A

Unforgettable Story of a Young Woman’s Struggle against Quadriplegia & Depression, has sold more than 5,000,000 copies and has been translated into 50 languages.

A second generation of individuals with disabilities is finding courage, strength, inspiration, purpose, and Jesus Christ through the multi-faceted ministry of this amazing woman. She continues to embody the reality of God’s promise to work all things together for good in the lives of those who love him and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Pastor and author Francis Chan wrote the Foreword in Joni’s 2012 re-release of her

autobiography. He captured my thoughts perfectly when he wrote: “We live in a culture that chooses heroes too quickly, and for the wrong reasons. In Joni, God has given us an example worth following. She inspires me…you would do well to imitate her as she imitates Christ.”

His Ways Are Not Our Ways A warm July afternoon in 1967, it had been a beautiful day on Chesapeake Bay. Blonde, blue-eyed, athletic Joni Eareckson, the youngest of four girls in a close-knit Baltimore family, was on the threshold of a whole new chapter of a life she described as “charming.”

She had recently graduated from high school and was relishing the last carefree days of summer before heading off to college. Life was simply idyllic. The Earecksons owned a horse farm about 20 miles outside of Baltimore.

There was always something active to do and a sister willing to come along. On that particular

afternoon, her sister Kathy was her companion.

A dive into shallow water, a spinal cord injury at the fourth cervical level, and the anticipated, new chapter of life began on that very afternoon in a much different way than Joni had imagined. She would spend the rest of her life as a quadriplegic. It was a bitter pill for an 18-year-old young lady—but especially so for this one who was a talented athlete, as well as a very bright scholar. Such a bright future waited. Was it over literally before it began?

Just two years prior to that fateful day, Joni had attended a Young Life weekend in Natural Bridge, Virginia. It was there where she really understood in a personal and deep way that she was a sinner in need of a Savior. She had been in the Reformed Episcopal Church her entire life, had memorized much liturgy and considered herself a “Christian,” but it was at the camp in her sophomore year of high school that she discovered what it was to have a personal relationship with Jesus. And that mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 27

relationship, though very much in its beginning stages, was a critical pillar God put into place before He called Joni to a challenge that required strength beyond her strength.

In the first days after the accident, there seemed to be one indignity after another visited upon this young girl who was quite used to being a leader. Sometimes there were doctors, nurses, or other personnel who talked over her as though she had damaged her brain as well as her body in this accident. She vacillated between “Thy Will be done,” and “Please, God, just let me die.” Friends and family stayed close day and night, but weeks went by before someone finally told Joni exactly what her injuries were and the gravity of the prognosis.

The day the doctors used the word, “permanent,” to describe her injuries was a day that was at least as dark as the day of the accident. With her own vision of “hope” and “future” stripped away, there are really no words that would adequately express how Joni felt at that moment.

What in the world was God thinking in allowing this devastating, life-altering, lifesapping, destructive event?

What Came Next Joni’s “rehab” involved two intense years of different kinds of physical therapy. It was during her six-month stint at Rancho Los Amigos in Los Angeles that she made great strides toward a new “normal,” but she continued to expect a particular kind of miracle that was not to be.

As she gave a 110 percent effort at whatever she was asked to do, in the early days she was certain that, “the best thing for my life would be to get back on my feet because I was such an athletic person. I could not imagine that God could possibly give me anything that would outweigh the trauma of being paralyzed. I just prayed for healing, and for me, it was always physical.”

Such a train of thought made for some big disappointments. She was always looking for the magic formula whether it was her childlike faith or her works of a pleasant attitude. Joni would think, “Aha. This prayer vigil will be the thing. Or this particular guru who claims healing powers will be the one. This time—this event—surely this will be the moment when God heals me.” Acceptance came gradually, and with that acceptance came a tremendous amount of spiritual growth and a deeper understanding of this unique journey that God had ordained for Joni Eareckson before the foundation of the world.

Joni went on an exhaustive search for answers in scripture. Her moment of new clarity came in the first chapter of Mark in the passage where Jesus had spent a long and 28 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

tedious day healing various infirmities. The next morning he went to a solitary place to pray and could not be found as the crowds returned for more of the previous days’ supernatural display.

And Jesus took a look at all the diseased people and basically said, “Let’s go somewhere else.” Joni says, “And I thought how cruel, but then, I realized that this was really— Jesus was revealing his priorities—because he said, ‘Let’s go somewhere else to the other nearby villages so I can preach there also, for this is why I have come.’ ” She remembers really laboring over that statement. It slowly began to dawn on her that it wasn’t that God was unconcerned for her physical need. “It was just that his priority was for my soul’s need, which was far deeper and more profound.”

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Joni (pronounced “Johnny”) is the youngest of four girls. Her dad, John, decided his fourth child would be Johnny regardless of gender! Joni’s mom insisted that she have a feminine spelling!

Growing up on a Maryland horse farm, Joni was little more than a toddler when she learned to ride.

She was a competitive and accomplished rider in her teen years.

Forty-seven years into her disability she looks back and says, “And the joy that he has given me, having experienced a greater degree, I think, of grace and faith and strength and courage and perseverance really does far outweigh any joy or grace or courage I could have experienced on my feet.”

Acceptance was a victory of sorts, but it did not mean the road was suddenly easy. There were intermittent struggles with depression, and it seemed that as Joni overcame one obstacle, another one presented itself. But perseverance and God’s sufficiency did indeed show itself with every new challenge.

Joni the Artist Prior to her accident, Joni had shared a love for drawing with her father who was also a fine self-taught artist. As the world of disabilities

became her reality, she learned compensatory skills that were extraordinary. With a brush or a stylus between her teeth, Joni rekindled her love of drawing achieving results that were— for lack of a better word— amazing.

When Joni returned to Baltimore after her rehab in California, she began to showcase her art at some local art fairs in and around Baltimore. Joni always signed her canvas “PTL” (Praise the Lord) and the question of “What does that mean and why do you do that?” was as predictable as can be. Joni had the opportunity again and again to talk about her relationship with Christ and to say, “My art is a reflection of how God can empower someone like me to rise above circumstances.”

A local NBC morning program did a feature

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segment on her that ran in the Baltimore area.

Producers of The Today Show saw it. “Oh my goodness,” says Joni. “That opened an incredible door to things I could never have dreamed.”

The next thing she knew she was being interviewed by Barbara Walters. Then a Christian publisher was asking her if she would write her autobiography. Billy Graham was calling and asking about doing a movie. If this wasn’t all the perfect illustration of Ephesians 3:20 and “…him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us…” then nothing was!

Joni had literally “fallen” into ministry.

Joni and Friends With the release of her book Joni in 1975 and the movie by the same name in 1979, the speaking requests poured in. Suddenly Joni Eareckson was a household name, an American hero, and a celebrity. Everyone wanted to meet her, to hear her speak, to buy her art. Joni made two huge decisions at that point.

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a•ma•da Joni and husband Ken Tada share a great heart for children with disabilities.

She decided to remain in California after she had completed the movie, and she decided to set up a non-profit organization to advocate on behalf of those with disabilities.

Such was the beginning of “Joni and Friends,” a multi-pronged international ministry that began by providing wheelchairs, inspirational and practical resources, and the gospel of Jesus Christ to the disabled and all of those who are affected by the disabled person’s limitations.

Joni’s unique personal experience equipped her for the task in ways that would never have been possible had that life-altering moment in 1967 never have happened.

Here in the United States, Joni has served on the National Council of Disabilities under two different presidents. It was during her tenure that the original Americans with Disabilities Act was drafted. Although it did not pass in its original form, the legislation was redrafted and passed into law in 1990.

In 2014, Joni and Friends delivered its 100,000th wheelchair overseas. As she says, “When we take wheelchairs into a developing nation, it’s just a point of entry to then follow up with a whole series of resources. It also helps change the cultural view of disability in that developing nation.” There are many places around the world where the disabled are severely discriminated against.

Much more than just a ministry that dispenses wheel chairs, Joni and Friends established the Christian Institute on Disabilities, a division that advocates aggressively for causes related to the sanctity and dignity of human life. Such causes run the gambit from more public access and opportunities for the disabled to the hotly debated issues of eugenics or physicianassisted suicide. There are educational courses, training seminars, and even college credit

courses that Joni has had a hand in creating.

Few have done as much as this one lady to champion the cause—and the worth—of individuals living with disability.

Joni believes we are living in a time when the sanctity of human life is under great assault. “I think it is because we’ve taken God out of the public conversation, and Christians feel timid. They feel fearful. There’s a great deal of cowardice about engaging the public on issues that have to do with the God of the Bible.”

Fearful is not really in Joni’s vocabulary anymore. That is one demon she has definitely faced before, and she has found her God to be faithful and able. “If we are to safeguard the right to life, then it begins by reintroducing a conversation of the God of the Bible back into the moral consciousness of our nation. It means feeling free to speak up at the hair dresser, at the nail parlor or at the PTA meeting or the town hall or the choir rehearsal or at the dry cleaners—you know, conversing with people, talking freely about who God is and the difference He makes in a family’s life because I think we’ve forgotten—or at least we don’t remember how our conversations and how the expression of our ideals and ideas have a direct bearing on the collective conscience of a nation.”

Joni and Ken Ken Tada was certainly not the first surprise God brought into Joni’s reconfigured life postaccident. She had moved past the painful parting with the sweetheart she had expected to marry years before. Life had certainly been nothing like she had pictured, but God had definitely sustained her, led her, blessed her, and given her far more than she could ever have thought to ask.

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Saturday, December 6, 4–9 p.m.

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Joni was in church one Sunday morning in 1980. The guest preacher that particular morning was not holding her rapt attention, and as her mind began to wander, her eyes caught sight of a particular man several rows in front of her. Feeling a little guilty about her inability to follow the speaker’s rather rambling sermon, she began to pray for that stranger although all she could see was the back of his head.

When the service ended, Joni considered wheeling over to the stranger to tell him she had prayed for him that morning, but she decided that would be pushy on her part, so she did not.

A few weeks later, this stranger showed up again and was introduced to Joni by mutual friends. Ken was a high school teacher and coach and a strong believer. Joni and Ken soon became inseparable. They married on July 3, 1982.

Their 32 years together have not been without challenges. Joni tells with transparency and total vulnerability the up and down story of their marriage. “I think we deal with the same issues in marriage that all couples deal with— unmet expectations, bruised feelings, competing rights—but a disability just tends to magnify those problems,” she says.

Joni’s greatest daily struggle has been against chronic pain. She says, “The quadriplegia is almost a cinch next to dealing with chronic pain because it can so quickly rob you of your focus. It just screams for your undivided attention, and it becomes just hard to function at times when pain becomes blinding.”

The fact that they were both committed to Christ and to their marriage did not mean there have not been some tense moments when Ken felt overwhelmed and Joni felt guilty that she was so needy in many ways. As Joni said, “Living together in a real marriage is always different from what we envisioned at the start.”

When Stage III breast cancer intruded in their lives in 2010, there was an unexpected blessing in the midst of it all. There was a new closeness and a new sense of being one. Joni said, “I really fell in love with Ken all over again as he really championed my cause among these doctors and nurses. It was very endearing.”

Today

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Approaching her 65th birthday this month, Joni has lived as a quadriplegic for 47 years. It has been that long since she could use her hands or her fingers for even the simplest task.

She has totally surpassed the life expectancy of quadriplegia, and she has accomplished so much more than the healthiest and most determined political advocate you could name who has rallied for any given cause. She has given her life to make the lives of other

One of Joni Eareckson Tada’s first drawings holding a pen in her mouth!

disabled people more tolerable and she has given all of us able-bodied people the gift of seeing through her eyes what it is to grapple every day with a disability.

She shares in her recent update to the Joni book her daily routine of waking up and hearing the voices of her cadre of girlfriends who arrive every morning to get her out of bed and dress her for the day. Her thoughts are frequently these: “Oh, God, I have no strength for this day. I can’t “do” quadriplegia anymore.

But I can do all things through You, as You give me strength. So please, Jesus, press me to your side, give me Your grace. Be large in my life today.”

Joni is wise. She has definitely earned her wisdom in the school of great hardship. I love her closing thoughts. “Life is hard. God has wired it that way. But He is ecstasy beyond compare, and knowing Him in the trials is more than worth it. After all, there really are more important things in life than walking.” Y For more information on Joni and Friends see JoniandFriends.org. In Mississippi, contact Martie Kwasny at JoniandFriends.org/Jackson.

You can also reach her at 601.594.0148 or mkwasny@joniandfriends.org.

Joni and Friends is committed to making a difference in the lives of all children with disabilities all across the globe.

A very lightweight and extremely durable wheelchair developed by Joni and Friends is currently being tested in Guatemala for Wheels for the World, which delivers hope through God's Word and a wheelchair for individuals with disabilities. mschristianliving.com â?˜ OCTOBER 2014 35

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➺living my call

by MARILYN TINNIN

Jennifer Rothschild

Empowering Women to Be Gutsy

Editor’s Note: The Fresh Grounded Faith conference visits Madison, Mississippi October 24–25! Featuring authors and speakers Jennifer Rothschild and Stormie Omartian, this promises to be one of the best “girlfriend” events ever no matter your age and stage of life. With Lisa Whelchel, Olive Aneno, and music by Michael O’Brien, this is a rare opportunity for soul refreshment and a life changing encounter with God right in your own backyard!

Watch for updates on MCL’s Facebook page. See www.freshgroundedfaith.com.

ike most working women, Jennifer Rothschild wears many hats. She is an author, speaker, Bible study teacher, singer, wife and Mom— not necessarily in that order. With 10

L

books, Bible studies, and several CDs to her name, Jennifer has inspired women of all ages with her down-to-earth and very honest presentation, whether in print or from the podium. You can count on Jennifer to tell it like it is, even when it is hard.

When Jennifer talks about hard places, she speaks from experience. She was a budding artist when, at the age of 15, she began to lose her sight through a rare disease called

Retinitis Pigmentosa. Like Joni Eareckson Tada who began life with every physical component intact, Jennifer was forced to go from what we often call “normal” to “handicapped.” And that tough trial has given her the very special gift of relating to every woman no matter her unique struggle. She probably understands better than most what it is to deal with loss and disappointment. She learned the art of contentment through the very fire of adversity.

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is tied with a neat Christian bow, but it will always be tied to my deep trust in the God I love.”

Jennifer and Dr. Phillip Rothschild have been married for 28 years.

Dr. Rothschild is a professor of Entertainment Management at Missouri State University. They have two sons, Clayton and Connor, and have recently added a daughter when Clayton married his college sweetheart, Caroline.

Although there are restrictions on certain things a mom without her sight can do—she can’t exactly drive the carpool or serve as a lifeguard at the swimming party—Jennifer has always valued her independence and was able to devise very resourceful systems for managing almost all the regular duties of keeping home and family well. That fact becomes even more impressive when you realize she did so while having a writing and speaking career on the side.

She told one writer who interviewed her in Today’s Christian Woman a few years ago that, “Working around my blindness has added a strong dynamic to our family. I see my blindness as something God mercifully allowed to help us walk with him in ways we wouldn't have otherwise."

Jennifer’s relationship with the Lord and her tenacious pursuit of His word have equipped her to stretch and to attempt things that were beyond just difficult at times. She has tested many a promise in scripture and found God to be 100 percent faithful. Her mission is to encourage other women to learn that same grit and determination—to be “gutsy” as she puts it—in living their lives to the honor and glory of God. Philippians 4:13,“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” is probably her favorite scripture, but 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 is also one she clings to. “Therefore, we do not lose heart.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Her latest book, God is Just Not Fair, is subtitled Finding Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense. Hasn’t everyone experienced that thought at one time or another? You won’t want to miss Jennifer at the Fresh Grounded Faith Conference held October 24 and 25 at Broadmoor Baptist Church in Madison. Y

Welcomes

Jay Brown, MD Dr. Jay Brown, a native of Bay Springs, Mississippi, received his Bachelor of Arts degree in Biology from the University of Mississippi and completed his medical degree and Ophthalmology residency at the University of Mississippi School of Medicine, where he was presented with an Award for Excellence in Ophthalmology studies. His retina fellowship was completed at Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and he proudly served as the Chief of Ophthalmology at Mississippi Baptist Hospital from 2010 to 2012.

He is board certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology.

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➺pastor’s perspective

by DR. GARETH COCKERILL

The Picture on the Box—How the Bible Fits Together

W

hen I got home yesterday I saw the card table set up in front of the fireplace. My wife, Rosa, was

once again hard at work on another thousand-piece puzzle. One of her achievements hangs on the wall of our bedroom—it is a large field of brilliant poppies. I walk over to the table to see her progress.

The first thing she does is spread out the pieces face up. Many Bible readers stop here. They read the Bible as if each passage were a little piece by itself.

So, how does Rosa put the pieces together? She begins by looking at the picture on the puzzle box. This brief essay is a sketch of “the picture on the box.” I want to help you get the Bible bigpicture so that you can see how the “pieces” fit. The Bible “puzzle” is a mural of vivid scenes that tell the most important story in the world.

Next, Rosa identifies those pieces that make up the border.

Genesis 1-11 frames the Biblical puzzle by introducing God, humanity, the world, and sin. God’s plan for humanity was three-fold: (1) to live in obedient fellowship with Him, (2) to live in joyful harmony as His people, and (3) to responsibly enjoy the world He had created. Genesis 3-11 describes mankind’s rejection of God. Humans refused to trust His goodness, deliberately disobeyed His command, and put themselves in the place of God by taking charge of their own lives. The results were tragic—alienation from God, conflict and violence among people, and the misuse and destruction of the God-given world.

The Bible mural depicts the story of God’s remedy for this human predicament.

Its pieces interlock because they have been cut to reveal the restoration of God’s threefold plan. The fullness of the divine solution fills the canvas of the final scene at the end of the Bible (Revelation 21-22)—there will be a new, redeemed humanity cleansed from evil and free from suffering, in perfect fellowship with God, enjoying unbroken harmony, and living forever in the bounty of the New Heaven and Earth. The scenes in between mark the path from the tragedy of Genesis 3-11 to the glory of Revelation 21-22.

In the first scene (Genesis 12-50) God promises Abraham posterity and land. This promise will find fulfillment in restored divine fellowship, human harmony, and renewed enjoyment of creation.

God’s three-fold restoration will be offered to the world.

42 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

The next scene (Exodus through Joshua) unveils God’s initial fulfillment of this promise.

God used Moses and Joshua to deliver Abraham’s now numerous descendants from Egypt, unite them into a nation at Sinai, and bring them into the Promised Land. That land was the place for obedient fellowship with God, harmony with one another, and restored enjoyment of creation’s blessings. Three things demonstrate that this restoration, though real, was not complete. First, life in the Promised Land was good, but not eternal. Second, these blessings did not yet reach the world. Third, God’s people continued in persistent disobedience. This mighty deliverance from Egypt was a dramatic picture of the full restoration God would offer the world through Christ.

The Book of Judges is a graphic picture of this persistent disobedience and its tragic consequences. God responded by establishing two institutions—the Davidic Dynasty and Jerusalem with its Temple. The purpose of these institutions was to establish God’s people in obedience through godly leadership and centralized worship. However, human institutions could not cure the propensity of the human heart for disobedience.

The Bible puzzle includes two complementary pictures of the Davidic Dynasty and its history. The first is found in the books of Samuel and Kings, the second in Chronicles through Nehemiah. The first focuses on the persistent disobedience of kings and people; the

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second, on the past goodness of God. The first calls for repentance, the second offers the penitent hope—God’s past goodness assures us of the greater salvation to come (in Christ). The Davidic Dynasty finds fulfillment in the incarnate Son of God who would establish God’s people in obedience. Jerusalem foreshadows the final destiny of God’s people in the eternal City.

Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and the Song of Songs are an interlude within the historical account of God’s dealing with His people. These books are a kaleidoscope of scenes that realistically portray human sorrow and joy in relation to the purposes of God. For the faithful, the end of this tragic, mortal life is, by the goodness of God, eternal joy.

The Old Testament reaches its climax with “the goodly fellowship of the Prophets” (Isaiah through Malachi). These divinely commissioned messengers announced God’s judgment on the persistently disobedient people of God described in Samuel through Nehemiah. They also proclaimed God’s coming deeper work of salvation that would surpass liberation from Egypt by liberating people from sin. This salvation would be established by the One whom King David foreshadowed. It would be accomplished by God’s giving His Spirit to His people. It would reach its consummation in a sin-free new Heaven and Earth.

This puzzle climaxes in three vivid pictures that make up the New Testament and depict the fulfillment of God’s promised restoration— restoration accomplished; restoration experienced; restoration consummated.1 The Gospels show us how Christ has accomplished all that is necessary for the restoration anticipated by the Old Testament. Acts and the letters of the New Testament help us understand our present experience of the work of Christ through the Holy Spirit. The Revelation describes the consummation of God’s plan at the return of Christ when all will be made new.

Here ends this brief sketch of “the picture on the box.” In subsequent essays we intend to give more detailed attention to the scenes that make up this mural as we “work on” different parts of the Biblical puzzle together. Y

The Bible “puzzle” is a mural of vivid scenes that tell the most important story in the world.

OCTOBER 23, 2014

7PM I JACKSON CONVENTION COMPLEX Honoring the Right Reverend Duncan Gray Jr., the Right RevereQd Duncan Gray III & the Honorable Reuben Anderson for their work in racial reconciliation.

To purchase your ticket visit

www.missionmississippi.org or call 601.353.6477.

Follow us on Twitter and Like us on Facebook!

1

Gareth Lee Cockerill, Christian Faith in the Old Testament: the Bible of the Apostles (Thomas Nelson, 2014), 221-40.

Dr. Gareth Cockerill is an ordained minister of the Wesleyan Church who served with his wife, Rosa, for nine years as a missionary in Sierra Leone, West Africa, where they were engaged in evangelism, teaching, administration, and medical ministries. He presently serves as Vice President for Academic Affairs and Professor of Biblical Interpretation and Theology at Wesley Biblical Seminary in Jackson. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 43

➺the doctor is in Submitted by CAREY MILLER

Man vs. Nature

7 TIPS to Enjoy the Mississippi Outdoors Safely Educate yourself properly.

Know and identify the possible scenarios for injury regarding your activity in order to prevent them.

Learning basic first aid is also invaluable for outdoor recreation.

1.

Always pack accordingly for your activity. A first-aid kit with basic, versatile supplies is a must, and tools such as a hatchet or compass can be essential in the outdoors. Also make sure you have packed an ample supply of drinking water, especially during the summer.

2.

If you are going hiking, camping, or any other outdoor activity in a remote location, notify someone of where you are going, what you are planning to do and the time you expect to return. Leave a phone number to call if you do not return on time.

3.

Dr. Philip Blount, at right, recently enjoyed the outdoors of the Great Smoky Mountains with his family, from left, wife Carrie and daughters Bailey and Kimberly.

veryone’s heard the harrowing tales of people succumbing to the elements, disappearing in the woods, or hurting themselves in the middle of nowhere with little hope of rescue.

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It’s enough to make any Mississippian reluctant to leave the safe, air-conditioned confines of their homes, particularly in the hotter months.

But Dr. Philip Blount wants you to know you’d really be missing out—countless folks have a blast safely enjoying the splendor of Mississippi’s outdoors every year.

“If you look at the risk versus benefits of engaging in outdoor activities, the benefits far, far outweigh the risk,” said Dr. Blount, a former park ranger and a physical medicine and rehabilitation physician at Methodist Pain & Spine Center in Flowood. “Injuries that happen outdoors are about 9 per 100,000 44 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

participants, with deaths around 2.6 per 100,000. That’s rare, like getting struck by lightning.”

A 2008 study of outdoor recreational injuries published by the Wilderness Medical Society found winter activities like snowboarding and sledding to have the highest injury incidence rates, with hiking a distant third with 4.6 per 100,000.

Activities more common to the Mississippi outdoors, like fishing (2.4), boating (0.5), water skiing/tubing (2.6) and mountain biking (3.6), have even lower rates.

“Getting people out of doors and engaged in physical activities is something I highly advocate,” Dr. Blount said. “It’s fun, it’s healthy, and it’s free.”

The outdoors is both a personal and professional passion for Dr. Blount, who also specializes in sports medicine.

Dr. Blount has been involved with the

When engaging in water sports, always wear a floatation device and abstain from consuming alcohol.

4.

5.

Be aware of your surroundings and what you have on hand.

Knowing where your nearest sources of water and shade are located can be crucial when dealing with heat stroke or other types of injury. And common items like a bandana or other items of clothing can be used as bandages or slings.

Know your and your companions’ medical histories to anticipate any complications that may arise and prepare accordingly.

For example, if you have an allergy to stinging insects, it’s a good idea to carry an EpiPen.

6.

Remember that you are “number one.” Never put yourself at risk to help or rescue someone in distress. Seek help and let trained first responders do their job. Y

7.

Outward Bound program. He’s also earned his Wilderness First Responder certification from the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS), one of the country’s foremost educators in the field of wilderness medicine.

“It’s a nice, well-rounded training with a lot of carryover into sports medicine and really, just basic everyday life,” Dr. Blount said. “It helps me with my medical practice in many ways.”

Wilderness medicine, Dr. Blount explained, is the application of medical care in a remote setting, which is usually defined as being greater than an hour away from definitive care.

“If you think about it by that definition, there aren’t many areas in Mississippi that could be designated as true ‘wilderness,’ ” Dr. Blount said.

Wilderness medicine in practice is about the assessment, improvisation and overall decision-making to provide basic life support and stabilize things until the victim can receive definitive care.

“It’s not something crazy, like MacGyver or Rambo,” Dr. Blount said, adding that the most crucial aspect of wilderness medicine is prevention.

“It’s a lot easier to prevent an injury than deal with one when it happens,” he said.

Regarding injury prevention, Dr. Blount says the Boy Scouts motto has it right: be prepared.

Dr. Philip Blount and his daughter Kimberly visited the LeConte Lodge at a recent outing to the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee.

But that’s doesn’t just mean to be sure to pack accordingly.

“The more you know, the more prepared you are,” he said. “Knowledge is infinite—you can always learn more. And knowledge will always outweigh gear or equipment.”

That’s why when asked about what essentials to bring on a trip to the outdoors; he doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all recommendation, even for a first-aid kit.

“There is no universal first-aid kit,” Dr. Blount said. “You’re really looking at something specific to the event or activity you’re going to be doing. A kit for a snow skier is going to look a lot different from a water skier’s here in

Now I can...

show my bulldog spirit

Mississippi. And a first aid kit is great to have and I certainly recommend them, but you really have to be familiar with using what it contains.”

For example, packing a suture kit isn’t going to help if you’re not experienced stitching up wounds.

Dr. Blount does universally recommend, especially during the Mississippi summer, access to water and an oft-overlooked natural resource: shade.

“If you look at Mississippi and you look at what are the most common causes of death, you have drowning and then environmental exposure—either hypo- or hyperthermia,” he said.

There were 11 deaths due to heat stroke in the state in 2012 according to the latest data collected by the Mississippi State Department of Health, said Liz Sharlot, MSDH director of communications.

“Knowing where shade is, and knowing how to get people cool, including having some water, is key,” Dr. Blount said.

One thing to remember above all is to look out for yourself. Never risk your own safety to assist another who has been injured.

“That may sound selfish, but the worst thing that can happen is for one victim to turn into two victims,” Blount said. Y

Trainor Storey rarely stands still—just like most students his age at Mississippi State University.

But before he became a Bulldog, his life was at a standstill. He suffered a spinal cord injury in a single-car accident that killed one and injured four others, all friends from his high school, Flora’s TriCounty Academy.

When Trainor entered Methodist Rehab’s spinal cord injury program, he was determined to walk again. Medical director Dr. Samuel Grissom found he had excellent potential for recovery and encouranged him to work toward his goal. Aided by Methodist’s skilled physical and occupational therapists, Trainor showed the tenacity of a true Bulldog in the therapy gym.

“I treated it like a competition—to go in there and try and do better than I did the day before,” he said.

His rehab led to an inspiring recovery, one that had him walking on his own out the doors of Methodist Rehab. Now he’s pounding the pavement on the MSU campus as a chemical engineering student.

Nationally recognized center of excellence for rehab after a stroke, spinal cord injury, brain injury or amputation.

For more information, visit methodistonline.org or call 601-364-3434 or toll-free 1-800-223-6672, ext. 3434. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 45

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www.star93fm.com 46 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

➺

legal advice

by WILLIAM B. HOWELL

My Kids’ Names Are on Everything—Is That Okay? any people do their estate planning using what has frequently been referred to as the “lazy man’s will.” That is, they designate a

M

survivor owner in the ownership document (deed, CD, bank account, etc.) so that when one of the owners passes away, the other owner automatically has full and total rights in the asset to sell, spend or do whatever they want to with it.

This happens without any kind of court proceeding, including probate.

The arrangement is referred to as JTWROS, which stands for “Joint Tenancy with Rights of Survivorship.” This titling is common between spouses for their homestead property, and many people have the same designation on their investment accounts, CDs and similar financial instruments. It is quite clear that when the first of two joint owners passes away the other joint owner has, as stated above, the right to do with the property as he or she sees fit. Although, it sounds like a good solution, in reality it can be quite a nightmare.

What if the spouse as joint owner does not pass away but becomes incapacitated? Then the other spouse will likely have a problem disposing

HOWELL KYLE & WYNN, PLLC ATTORNEYS AT LAW

of the asset (or borrowing money against it) unless other affective arrangements have been made. Some people elect to have a living trust through which they own their assets in order to solve this joint ownership incapacity dilemma, as well as several other problems.

Sometimes people put their children’s names as survivor owners on things that the parent owns: home, bank account and other assets. The effect at death: it goes to the other owner(s), but there is an additional wrinkle that parents don’t often consider. If your child as a joint owner is sued and a judgment is obtained against the joint owner, then your property (or a portion) can likely be seized by the creditor as the child’s asset. The problem is that when you put the child’s name on an asset, the asset stopped being yours exclusively. Instead, the child has an actual ownership interest, and it can be reached by their creditors.

What kind of creditors? It could be their divorce, bankruptcy, a lawsuit as a result of an automobile accident or many situations that cause the assets of the child to be placed at risk.

Many elders have put a child on their bank account with the idea that the child can pay bills

for them in case the parent becomes ill and can’t act for themselves. Let’s say the parent has three children and wants to divide the bank account and all other assets equally among the three, and that’s what they have written in their will.

However, the will only controls property that goes through probate. A bank account with one child’s name on it (in other than a “signatory authority only” situation) will cause that child to be a coowner and the child will own the entire bank account when you pass away to the total exclusion of his or her brothers and sisters. It does not matter what your will says.

Many people are unaware of this development and make some sizeable mistakes in titling assets so that their original intent is substantially frustrated after they have passed away.

These and other complications are so easy to avoid. All it takes is a little good estate planning, and an understanding of the consequences of your actions. We find that many people create their own problems. Frequently a living trust is used to avoid these outcomes. Get some good advice. Solve these problems in advance for your family. It’s truly a loving thing to do. Y

YOU·VE WORKED HARD FOR IT³WHY THROW IT AWAY? While you are alive, you can and should make all decisions and manage your personal affairs. What if you become incompetent? What happens at your death?

Who will take over and manage your affairs? Will it be someone you chose or the court chose? How is that done? Will it be outside of court or in court? The same questions arise with the distribution of your assets. What about protecting your FKLOG·V LQKHULWDQFH IURP D GLYRUFH RU D ODZVXLW" :LOO \RXU KDUG-earned savings go to the nursing home? Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

Howell Kyle & Wynn, PLLC is committed to providing you with the knowledge and tools needed to avoid these types of situations which can be financially and emotionally devastating to your loved ones. Below are some items to consider:

Our life expectancy has increased, but are all of us going to be in good health in our old age?

Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing what the future holds for ourselves and our families.

Howell Kyle & Wynn, PLLC is dedicated to providing you and your family a plan that offers true peace of mind.

1-800-839-7857 www.HowellElderLaw.com

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601-978-1700 OR 1-800-839-7857 VISIT US ON THE WEB:

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EDITOR’S PICK

Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson

Reviewed by Marilyn Tinnin

“You are invited,� says author Marlo Schalesky, “to be confronted and changed by this love that is not based on securing your happiness but on God’s commitment to making you into the person he created you to be.� So she begins Wrestling with Wonder, a transformational journey into the life of Mary.

With Christmas approaching, Mary is likely to be on our minds, but you’ve never looked at Mary’s story quite like this before.

Schalesky does write brief sketches for each piece, imagining what Mary might have thought and felt, but she focuses the book more strongly on the God who came near to Mary and changed her life.

The God Mary encountered didn’t make everything go as expected. Instead, she faced pain: from Simeon’s prophecy to its fulfillment as Jesus hung on the cross.

His life as Messiah was not what she thought, but God met her in each unexpected place.

Anyone who has ever asked God, “Why?� will find much to ponder in this beautifully personal and insightful book.

Schalesky adds stories from her life to Mary’s, showing what this kind of grappling with God looks like today. If you only take one recommendation this year, read Wrestling with Wonder.

In the author’s words, “So, come and discover the unexpected Christ. Wrestle with wonder. And find him where you never expected him to be. Find him on the wild journey from an angel’s unexpected arrival to beyond an empty tomb. Come, if you dare‌â€? Y

I Have Cancer. I Want To Live.

Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word.You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

The True Story of an Unlikely Outcome with Honest and Practical Suggestions for Those Who Want to Be Supportive

By Darlene Arnold Gore and Meredith Gore Warf

As a breast cancer survivor myself, I think I am a good judge of books that would encourage someone who has received the big “C� diagnosis. It has been eight years, but I devoured this book in a weekend’s time identifying with every word. I told Charles, “I just wish I had had this book in 2006.� I also confess, “I wish I had written this book.� I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Darlene, who lives right down I-55 in Grenada, and her daughter, Meredith, who lives right here in Jackson, have put together the penultimate book for patients, caregivers, and those who love them. Filled with scripture as well as raw emotion, there is nothing sugarcoated or false in these pages. Let’s just be honest—Christians panic, too. Christians have moments when the sheer fear of the word “Cancer� temporarily eclipses every good promise and Bible verse they ever learned in Sunday School.

But the truth is precious. When the roots are deep, the soul finally settles down and remembers the source of strength and the fact that the Lord promised to walk through the valley, even the valley of the shadow of death with us. Darlene’s story is rich with such lessons. It is personal, and you will appreciate her total transparency on every page.

The unique thing about this book is the reflections offered from the bystanders.

Friends and immediate family members offer their lessons learned as well as their own thoughts as they tried to be encouragers and supporters even in the midst of their own fears.

Do buy this book. Even if you haven’t had to endure cancer, chances are somebody you know will. I can promise you this book will help you more than any other in being the friend—or even the patient—you would hope to be.

Find it on Amazon. Y

➺

events calendar October 9 Canton Flea Market features 1,100 artists and craftsmen within walking distance of Canton's downtown Courthouse Square. cantonmsfleamarket.com.

CLINTON October 25 Morrison Heights Baptist Church holds The Great Race. 7 a.m. from the church at 3000 Hampstead Blvd. in Clinton. 5K Run and 1-Mile Fun Run. morrisonheights.org or mstrackclub.com.

JACKSON October 4 Jackson Medical Mall Foundation and Humana, in partnership with KaBoom, invite you to volunteer your time to help build a multi-use playground at Prosperity Street in the Homestead Heights Community. Build begins at 7:30 a.m.

Community-service hours available to students.

601.982.8467 x-19

October 7 Jackson Medical Mall Foundation hosts “A Going Away Party for Crime!” Celebrating National Night Out. Free admission, food, fun, and entertainment from 5:30–8 p.m. 601.982.8467.

October 11 Belhaven University presents Kevin Manderville in a guest guitar concert at the Center for the Arts at 835 Riverside Drive. Works by Fernando Sor and David Kellner and many more. Free admission. Doors open at 7 p.m.

October 8–10, 15–18, 22–25 A Great Pumpkin Adventure at the MS Agricultural and Forestry Museum located at 1150 Lakeland Drive. Hayride, children’s activities, and a pumpkin patch. 601.432.4500.

October 18 Sun King 5K Run/Walk. 8 a.m.

Begins and ends at St. James Episcopal Church at 3921 Oak

Ridge Drive. Registration packets available on October 17 from 3:30–6:30 at Broad Street Baking Company at Banner Hall. Race-day registration begins at 6:30 a.m. 601.954.2038 or jwoffordjr@gmail.com.

October 18 Community Dance Concert at 7:30 p.m. at Belhaven Center for the Arts 835 Riverside Drive.

Members of the Belhaven dance faculty, students, and alumni join together with other local dance artists to offer an evening of dance. Doors open 7 p.m. Donation suggested. 601.965.1400.

October 18 Camp Pioneer’s fundraising event at The Regency Hotel at 400 Greymont Avenue at 6 p.m.

The theme is “Expanding Our Proven Legacy, Making Generational Change Today.” Featured speakers are Dr. John Perkins and Mr. Wallace D. Francis, former NFL wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills and the Atlanta Falcons. Tickets $50.

773.376.1723 or 601.813.5045.

MADISON October 4 Chapel of the Cross at 674 Mannsdale Road holds its 35th annual A Day in the Country festival. 9 a.m.–4 p.m. A family-friendly tradition on the grounds of the beautiful historic church.

Vendors, arts and crafts, children activities, and a 5K race. 601.942.0056.

October 7 Center for Pregnancy Choices holds their Boots and BBQ benefit from 6:30–8:30 p.m. at Broadmoor Baptist Church at 1531 Highland Colony Parkway. Casual attire and dinner. $15. cpcmetrofriends.org or 601.713.2322.

October 24-25 Fresh Grounded Faith Conference at Broadmoor Baptist Church at 1531 Highland Colony Parkway. A women’s conference featuring Jennifer Rothschild, Stormie Omartian, Lisa Whelchel, Olive Aneno, and Michael O’Brien. FreshGroundedFaith.com for tickets.

October 21 Palmer Home for Children holds its second annual Southern Soiree at The South at 627 East Silas Brown from 6–9:00 p.m. Silent Auction, live music and great food. Proceeds benefit Palmer Home. palmerhome.org/event.

October 23 Catholic Charities 3rd Annual 5K Purple Dress Run/Walk.

Begins and ends at Jaco’s Tacos at 318 South State Street. Help “run” domestic violence out of town. 601.326.3758. Register at catholicdharitiesjackson.org.

PEARL October 17 12th Annual Buddy Walk sponsored by the Central MS Down Syndrome Society. Join us at Trustmark Park in Pearl at 8:00 a.m. Email Rebecca@cmdss.org for details.

RIDGELAND October 17

October 23 Mission Mississippi hosts its annual Racial Reconciliation Banquet at 7 p.m. at the Jackson Convention Complex. This year’s event will honor Bishop Duncan M. Gray, Jr., Bishop Duncan M. Gray, III, and Honorable Reuben Anderson for their work toward racial reconciliation. missionmississippi.org or 601.353.6477

First Presbyterian Day School presents their 40th annual Holiday Potpourri from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the home of Guy and Lana Boyll at 913 Montrose Drive. Enjoy the Bountiful Bakery, Tasting Tea, Garden and Gift Gallery and the fabulous Silent Auction. A fall tradition! www.fpds.org.

TUPELO

October 10 Tupelo Annual ChiliFest! Lunch from 11 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Dinner 5–10 p.m. South

Broadway Street between Main and Troy.

tupelomainstreet.com. Y

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mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2014 49

OCTOBER 2014

CANTON

➺quips & quotes

ADVERTISER INDEX

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Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!

✂

Cancer is such a wake-up call to remind us how high the cosmic stakes really are and how short and brief and frail life really is.

It's not about finding ways to avoid God's judgment and feeling like a failure if you don't do everything perfectly.

It's about fully experiencing God's love and letting it perfect you. It's not about being somebody you are not.

It's about becoming who you really are.

– Stormie Omartian

Praise is often the last thing we feel like doing when we need it most. Maybe that is why it is often referred to as a “sacrifice.”

Hebrews 13:15 says, “With Jesus’ help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of His name.”

– Joni Eareckson Tada

We will never be happy until we make God the source of our fulfillment and the answer to our longings. He is the only one who should have power over our souls.

– Stormie Omartian

– Lisa Whelchel

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.

I suggest there are only two joys. One is having God answer all your prayers; the other is not receiving the answer to all your prayers. I believe this because I have found that God knows my needs infinitely better than I know them. And He is utterly dependable, no matter which direction our circumstances take us.

– PSALM 34:18,19

– Joni Eareckson Tada

To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.

The difference between bitter and better is I – Jennifer Rothschild

The bigger the problem, the bigger the solution must be. If our sins had been little and our needs small, God could have sent a book. But he sent his son. That ought to give us some idea of how big the problem is.

– Steve Brown

– Tim Keller

Freedom begins way back.

It begins not with doing what you want but with doing what you ought—that is, with discipline.

– Elisabeth Elliot

Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this.

– PSALM 37:1-5

NORTH STATE

ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL 5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206

A warm, loving Christian enviroment for children to learn and grow.

SPOTS ARE AVAILABLE IN THE 2, 3, AND 4 YEAR OLD CLASSES Tuesdays and Thursdays 9:00 am - 12:00 Noon 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Highlands Presbyterian Church CONTACT THE HMMO OFFICE

601-853-0636

Dr. Steven Britt Dr. Jonathan Faulkner Dr. Melisa McLendon Dr. Adrian Whittington OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

601-982-8261 Boarding & Grooming Services Available

50 OCTOBER 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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