Mississippi Christian Living November 2020

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NOVEMBER 2020

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Demario and Tamela Davis

On a mission from Mississippi to the NFL Surviving the Hanoi Hilton

3 Thanksgiving recipes

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contents NOVEMBER 2020

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Volume 15, Number 5 Publisher MS Christian Living, Inc. Editor Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com Managing Editor Suzanne Durfey Art/Graphic Design Sandra Goff

Emily Gregory, far right, always felt anxiety when thinking about “the forever and ever” of eternal life – until her son, Beau, was diagnosed with Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

Read more on page 26.

columns 8 Outside In Faith is simple?

10 Modern Motherhood How to change your default setting to joy New Orleans Saints linebacker and Brandon native Demario Davis grew up less than an hour from his future wife, Tamela, but wouldn’t meet her till they were both students at Arkansas State University. Read more of their story on page 18.

12 Health & Wellness 9 benefits of home care for aging parents

14 Mission Mississippi Moments Why praying for Speaker Gunn was more powerful than I thought

Sales Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober Contributing Writers Chris Bates, Mandy Bufkin, Libbo Crosswhite, Sherye S. Green, Emily Gregory, Willette Myrick, Brenna Weaver, Camille Scales Young Cover Photography April Belle Photos Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Kathryn Dyksterhouse, Randy Fortenberry, Walton Gresham, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Bob Whatley Mississippi Christian Living 3304 North State Street, Suite 201D Jackson, MS 39216 Phone 601.790.9076

cover story 18 Demario and Tamela Davis On a mission from Mississippi to the NFL

16 Community Outreach Why foster care is worth overcoming a 4-letter word

17 Lagniappe What Habakkuk can teach us about 2020

26 This Is My Story

feature 24 Surviving 8 years of separation and the Hanoi Hilton An interview with Tupelo residents Louise and Col. Carlyle “Smitty” Harris (Ret.) The testimony of Daniel Awabdy

How my son’s illness made me long for heaven

28 Food for Thought Thanksgiving favorites

30 The Middle Ages 3 ways it can be well with your soul

32 Tough Questions How do I get my parents to back off?

Coming Next Month MCL’s 2020 Christian Leaders of the Year

in every issue 6 Editor’s Letter 34 Quips & Quotes 34 Advertiser Index

CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving facebook.com/MSChristianLiving 4

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ.

Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2020 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area and central Mississippi. Subscriptions are $29 a year.

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➺editor’s letter Try something new in November Dad made me promise not to spar.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a … butterfly. Who am I kidding?

6

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

“That’s not what it is,” I explained.

“It doesn’t matter. They will try to get you to spar.”

So I did all but sign a blood oath that I would not fight people during my cardio kickboxing class*. Two weeks later, I can confidently say I have no desire to break that oath.

We use these things called Thai pads. No, not pad Thai, a noodle dish that you should definitely order from Thai Tasty in Jackson. Thai pads. You strap them on over your forearms, so when your partner punches or kicks, they’ll hit the pads and not your ribs. Or face.

I’m apt to bruise, even through the pads. The instructors have assured me that the bruising won’t last, that my body will acclimate, and that they themselves — trained MMA fighters — bruised all the time when they first started. They don’t appear to be banged-up now, so I believe them. Either that or they win all their fights.

They have not tried to get me to “spar,” not that I expected them to. I don’t know what Dad was thinking — I’m not exactly “Million Dollar Baby.”

Despite my lack of coordination or desire to take things to the next level and get actually hit in the face, I love the class. I even picked out a pair of pink boxing gloves. I never thought I’d intentionally wear pink boxing gloves, like a Power Puff Girl or something, but here we are.

Several other women take the class. I’ve also partnered up with a couple of the men, and mercifully they have not kicked as hard as they can. One of them caused me to accidentally hit myself in the face, but that was more embarrassing than painful. I’m glad he didn’t notice.

Maybe I’m weird for enjoying a workout class that can leave me with bruises or jammed fingers. But I like the affirmation from the trainers as I follow their guidance; I like the opportunity to blow off steam (especially when I’m frustrated by my inability to master the moves — I just punch harder!); and I like working out with other people. We’re all sweaty, stinky, and in it together.

This class is just one of many new things I’ve experienced this year. I’ve moved from one part of metro Jackson to another; I’m running a women’s retreat around the time this issue comes out; and of course I’m trying to survive everyone’s favorite gift that keeps on giving, the COVID-19 pandemic.

As a single person, it’s hard not to go crazy when “get-togethers” are limited for safety. The looming time change makes that even harder — it’s about to start getting dark as soon as I get out of kickboxing class. Every fall, I remind y’all to get your Vitamin D, spend time with other believers (safely), and most importantly, spend time with God. Otherwise our souls are apt to bruise.

If you feel like the only new things in your life this year are face masks and social distancing, see if you can find another new thing to try.

Maybe it’s a workout or a musical instrument.

Maybe it’s intentionality in what you consume, especially in the increasingly dark evenings.

What are you listening to on your way home?

Does it give you life, or merely make noise?

When you are at home, are you reading scripture? Are you taking time to sit with God? November doesn’t have to be all drudgery till Thanksgiving. It can be a month full of gratitude and newness of life. You might not come out bruise-free, and you’re not going to feel happy all the time. But with God’s grace, we can thrive.

I’d love to hear what new things y’all are trying! Here’s to November. May we live abundantly in it. *at Killer Bees Jiu Jitsu and Black Sails MMA in Ridgeland Y Must-reads this month ● Our cover story on Brandon native and New Orleans Saint Demario Davis and his wife, Tamela (page 18) ● Our feature interview with Col. Carlyle “Smitty” Harris, a Vietnam veteran who spent eight years at the infamous “Hanoi Hilton,” and his wife, Louise (page 24) ● Emily Gregory’s testimony of how her son’s illness has strengthened her longing for heaven (page 26) Don’t forget! ● Tell the high-school seniors in your life! The deadline to apply for our Christian Leaders of the Future scholarship is Friday, Nov. 13! (See page 29 for details.)

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com

Goodwill Industries of Mississippi Salutes Metro Jackson’s Outstanding Volunteers

Goodwill Industries is thankful for the support shown by all during this unprecedented time.

2020-2021

David L. Allen

Alfred G. Nicols

Frances Braswell

Linda Thompson Robertson

Roy D. Campbell, III

Marilyn Hemphill Tinnin

David W. Clark and Victoria Baugher Clark

Tom Troxler

Pamela Houchins

Sydney Kathryn Ellis Youth Honoree

Jennifer Boydston Johnson

Mary Bratton Guest Youth Honoree

Mary Largent Purvis

Annelise Self Youth Honoree

Isabelle Sandridge Youth Honoree

This year’s slate of honorees is a testament to the generosity of which the human spirit is capable.

They have given freely of their time and talents so that those less fortunate among us may find their true potential.

Please mark your calendars and plan to join us as we honor metro Jackson’s outstanding volunteers on August 19, 2021.

David Hollingsworth Family

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2020 7

➺outside in

by CHRIS BATES

Faith is simple?

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

ach spring and fall when my daughter was younger, she and I

would go to camp at a different state park for a few days. It was always a great escape and memorable time for just the two of us. We would rent a rustic cabin or camp out and explore whatever each park had to offer. We would hike seemingly forever on a nature trail or catch fish from one of the lakes. One park had a massive 14-foot alligator in a large pond enclosure where we sat on the grass and watched for what must have been hours.

It was truly amazing to see how she would be fascinated with the small things that I often looked right over. I would be worried about the weather or the camping gear or what food items we had packed. Her concerns were much more about things like seasonal flowers or different tiny animals and how they acted.

On one particular camping trip, she announced that her big priority for the weekend was to have lots of pictures so we could reflect on the memories for years to come. My mind’s eye went to landscapes or cloud formations or the woods around the cabin where we stayed.

After the trip, when I looked back through the photos she took, it struck me that almost all were noticeably micro-focused.

The takeaway is that her mind was much better at being present in the moment. A less cluttered mind can more readily connect with the small (and meaningful) wonders. We all know that the same is true about practicing our faith today. Admittedly, my mind and spirit are usually consumed with the concerns and tasks of the day during most of my waking hours. Business, family, and the many distractions of real life are powerful detractors from being able to see what is right around us.

Practicing faith usually does not make the to-do list. We tend not to scribble it in between the office deadlines and the grocery list. All who are believers have the intention of doing better by reading the Word more, making church more often, or spending more time on our knees. Those are all important action steps, but we may think of them as checklist items within our spiritual lives. If we do them more regularly, then certainly we will

feel better connected to God. We know also, though, that God’s side of that relationship is not the issue — it’s us.

The salient point here, and the lesson garnered from my daughter’s simplified perspective of what was around her, is that practicing our faith is not just about getting the big things done. There is not a plateau to be reached that finally satisfies our spiritual growth for the rest of our lives. It does not look like the completion of a project or a checklist. Our effort should be both to absorb it and exude it at the same time, all the time, through the simplest connections with who and what is around us. Faith is not a thing we do. It is like the wet part of the ocean.

C.S. Lewis said it well when he wrote, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” He had the right filter in mind. By looking through our faith at everything around us, what we see then changes. The content does not necessarily change, but the parts of it we notice, and how we interact with it, entirely shifts.

To deepen our faith, we desire to have evidence. The disciple Thomas wanted it when he heard that Jesus was resurrected.

Immediately after that story about Thomas, Paul tells us in John 20:30-31 that “Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name.” The right question today, then, is to each ask ourselves whether our own story also shows a body of evidence.

It takes a simplified perspective to weed out the noise and see God’s small yet infinite world right around us. Be challenged to be more grateful and more simple. Let us carry our faith with us in every moment as we live it and pass it along to others. Y Chris Bates is CEO and co-founder of AgoraEversole a full-service marketing agency in Jackson, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraEversole.com. He and his wife, Stacy, and their children live in Madison.

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➺modern motherhood

by LIBBO CROSSWHITE

How to change your default setting to joy “Joy is the basket to draw water out of the well of salvation.”

This quote has struck me since I found it in Clay’s grandmother’s journal that was given to me a few years back. For all who know Clay’s grandmother, it is evident that Peggy Dees embodies joy. Joy in her family, but most importantly, joy in Christ her Savior, the same today, yesterday and tomorrow.

Yes, we’re in a season of change, a season of doubt and fear, but you and I as Christians have the abundant gift of changing the narrative. Because of our salvation, we have direct access to the abundant joy offered only in Christ. Regardless of the circumstances, joy can be found at the foot of the cross.

It’s incredible to me how the Lord pieces things together when you’re seeking to see Him in all things. I hear and see joy all around me in this season, but I had to be looking for it first.

My dear friend Frances Dykes gave her testimony to our Fellowship of Christian

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Athletes, and she talked about our default settings. Our sin nature lends itself to our default settings being less than desirable: pride, anger, hopelessness, bitterness, the list goes on. As scripture tells us, we are born in sin, and we see that brokenness in our default settings.

2020 has both revealed and wrecked our default settings. It’s torn down our systems of religion, school, general busy-ness, and all the things we do to achieve more, receive more, be involved in more.

It’s stopped many of us in our tracks.

Caused us to ask hard questions about what we truly believe. I have been fortunate enough to have more of an inconvenient year rather than a wrecked year. Many of you have faced losing loved ones due to a virus, or losing houses due to hurricanes, or losing jobs or relationships. Yet there is one Constant.

My kids, both biological and high-school aged, have asked me often, “When will this be over? When can we go back to normal?” I hear myself asking God the same question, and I keep being reminded that His answer was written long before 2020.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I long to look less for answers on this side of heaven and more to the established truth of what God has already written. He knows how the story ends, and we have the ability to know and believe it.

A cure for a virus or the results of an election won’t solve the issue at heart. As long as our default setting is to trust in something of this world or ourselves, we will always be left with the same result: brokenness that is rooted much deeper than our circumstances.

Perfect circumstances don’t exist, and 2020 has reminded us of that, over and over (and over and over) again.

As we approach the holidays, it’s normal to remind ourselves of the importance of gratitude, but I feel the Lord calling me to something deeper this year: to move away from my default setting of being frustrated when things don’t go right, or discouraged when I let people down, and typically pushing those emotions deeper into my soul so I can appear “OK” to the world.

I feel the Lord pushing me as He reminds

Mary and Russell exuding joy for their weekly football game with the neighbors.

me to seek joy in the mundane, to let go of control, and to be reminded of where my hope and joy has always come from: the well of salvation.

Canceled events have left us more time at home. More time for the kids to play backyard football with our neighbors-turnedfamily. More time for me to be the self-proclaimed reigning champion of both Uno and dominoes. More time to wake up excited to worship in person on Sundays because we had to be away for months. Joy can overflow if we allow it.

“What brought you joy today?” is our nightly question now. Sometimes the answer is recess. Sometimes it’s, “The hot lunch was quesadillas!” But joy is always there, and God is calling us to seek it in all things. Y

Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary Thomas, who is 6 years old, and a son, Russell, who is 4 years old. She is the high school guidance counselor at MadisonRidgeland Academy and can be emailed at lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.

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➺health &wellness submitted by COVENANT CAREGIVERS

9 benefits of home care for aging parents This column is adapted from an article provided by eCaring.

I

f you have an elderly parent, chances are you have spent more than one sleepless night worrying about their future.

When faced with the daunting task of elder caregiving, many don’t know where to begin.

But the answer might be as simple as letting your loved one stay put — helping them age comfortably and gracefully at home.

Home care is not the best solution for every eldercare situation, particularly if the home environment is unsafe or if your parent has very intensive medical needs. However, for millions of American families, home care is a sure bet.

Beyond the cost savings, home care offers your parents the ability to remain in their own home. By surrounding them in a safe, therapeutic environment, you can prolong their health and do wonders for the wellbeing of your entire family.

Below, we offer several considerations that can help you make an informed decision about keeping your aging parent at home:

1. Home care promotes recovery.

No matter the duration, hospital stays can be traumatizing. Rapid-fire medical procedures can leave an older adult in a compromised state.

Home care in a familiar environment allows one to receive the best support in healing, both in body and mind.

2. Home care saves money.

Institutional care comes with a hefty price tag. A good rule of thumb is that eight hours or less per day of home care will be less

expensive than care in a facility.

3. Home care honors your loved one’s dignity and independence.

Throughout life, our home is our castle, our sanctity — and that doesn’t change as we add more candles on the cake. The home setting gives our loved ones more choices and the opportunity to be more active participants in their healthcare decisions. With home care, there is freedom to choose a doctor, nurse, or home health aide that works best for each individual.

4. Home care is personalized.

red tape, no forms, no bureaucracy. A qualified home-care professional can also provide easy safety fixes such as grab bars and anti-slip rugs.

7. Home care extends and improves quality of life.

Home care postpones institutionalization and prevents premature decline. By encouraging independence and self-directed care, home care keeps aging parents in charge of their own lives for as long as possible. Older adults heal faster at home. Home care helps extend life by eliminating stressors associated with aging.

Home care also enriches the quality of our loved one’s later years. Those receiving home care tend to report high rates of satisfaction with the services they receive, and with life overall.

No one person, lifestyle or situation is the same. Home care recognizes how essential specialized care is to maintaining health, and offers individualized services based on individual needs and preferences. By definition, home care 8. Home care and technology go hand in hand. is one on one. It is typically provided by a unified In today’s hyper-connected culture, home team of practitioners that may include home care makes more sense than ever. As more health aides, nurses, social workers, therapists adult children live far from their aging and physicians, depending parents, technology makes remote caregiving on the level of care needed. possible. In rural areas, home care is the only 5. Home care keeps families together. form of healthcare available. Thankfully, the Knowing your loved one is in a safe, practice of telemedicine makes it possible to therapeutic environment of his or her choice diagnose, monitor and treat conditions, all helps reduce feelings of guilt associated with from a patient’s home. caregiving. Family members can visit as often as necessary without concerns about “stepping on 9. Home care is the oldest and most respected form of health care. other people’s toes.”

From the beginning of civilization, elders 6. Home care is safe. have aged in place in their own homes.

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➺mission mississippi moments

by CAMILLE SCALES YOUNG

Why praying for Speaker Gunn was more powerful than I thought

“G

ather together.” There can be so many opportunities to gather, but how often are we gathering in His name? Matthew 18:20 reminds us that, “Where two or more are gathered in My Name, I am in their midst.”

Mission Mississippi creates numerous opportunities to gather in His name and make a difference with people, one relationship at a time.

One of my most memorable times of gathering in worship was Mission Mississippi’s 2020 Legislative Prayer Breakfast. This event is always a wonderful time of fellowship and camaraderie, but this year’s event felt different. If we had only known then what we know now — COVID-19 was knocking at our door.

During that time of gathering and worship, the presence of the Lord provided a joyful yet peaceful environment. Elected officials and Mission Mississippi guests hugged necks, shook hands and slapped backs. Those kinds of expressions of love and respect soon would be forbidden with the onset of a pandemic.

I had the honor and privilege of praying for our Speaker of the House of Representatives,

Neither of us, nor anyone there, could have expected the imminent need of that prayer. Throughout the next few weeks and months, Speaker Gunn would need that wisdom, guidance, good health and patience like never before.

Philip Gunn. Speaker Gunn and I sat next to each other during the breakfast and exchanged pleasant, polite conversation. We have had a professional relationship since his election to the House many years ago, but that day we established a spiritual connection. We talked about our church homes. We discussed our families. We laughed and connected on things that had nothing to do with the legislative process.

Mission Mississippi facilitated that conversation. Mission Mississippi allowed us to gather together and experience the sweet 14

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Camille Scales Young prays for Mississippi Speaker of the House Philip Gunn at Mission Mississippi’s 2020 Legislative Prayer Breakfast early this year, when COVID-19 was still just “knocking at our door.”

spirit of God in a unique gathering of people.

As we sat in prayer with his elected colleagues, we both could sense the presence of God moving in the room. It was amazing! The people there were not focused on politics; we focused on God. As the time on the program neared for me to pray for Speaker Gunn, I asked him if he would stand with me as I prayed. At our appointed time, we walked to the podium and I placed my hand on his shoulder and began to pray. I asked God to bless him with wisdom, guidance, good health and patience.

I asked for protection for him, his family and the legislators he led.

Neither of us, nor anyone there, could have expected the imminent need of that prayer.

Throughout the next few weeks and months, Speaker Gunn would need that wisdom, guidance, good health and patience like never before as he and other elected officials navigated one of the deadliest health crises in our state, nation and world’s histories.

Without Mission Mississippi, I probably would not have had the opportunity to pray for Speaker Gunn behind a podium on a stage in front of his colleagues and other elected officials. Without that opportunity to gather together, we likely would not have had the opportunity to connect spiritually.

I am so thankful for that opportunity to gather together and connect with a person I respect. I was thankful for the opportunity to

see more of his heart, and for him to see more of mine. Most importantly, I am thankful we were able to share the Spirit of God and ask for His continued grace in such a unique setting.

After the prayer breakfast and in the following days, I would continue to pray for Speaker Gunn. I don’t feel like my only obligation was to pray for him that day and never again.

We are reminded in 1 Timothy 2:1–4 (Modern English Version) that, “Therefore I exhort first of all that you make supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings for everyone, for kings and for all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceful life in all godliness and honesty, for this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

I pray that our gathering together through Mission Mississippi was as meaningful for those present as it was for me. #GatherTogether Y

Camille Scales Young is a principal and director at Cornerstone Government Affairs (a full-service, bipartisan consulting firm specializing in government and public relations) and has served as a public affairs professional for more than two decades. She is a proud wife, mother and community volunteer.

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➺community outreach

by MANDY BUFKIN

Why foster care is worth overcoming a 4-letter word

W

suddenly feels much quieter without that foster child?

You’ve probably heard the stories of heartbreak. Someone you know, I had no idea what I was doing. The only thing I knew was or a friend of a friend, had a terrible experience with fostering, and that I needed a job. After a few Google searches, I found that’s what keeps you away. Fear. Fear of pain, out Methodist Children’s Homes needed some fear of loss, fear of your life being disrupted. part-time administrative help. Perfect.

But what if that was the only life you’ve ever As I began the role, I approached it with the known? Pain, fear and loss are some of the thought of something to pay the bills until I In Mississippi, there are more primary emotions a foster child knows. You lost could get back to the real thing I was called to than 4,000 children in foster your parents after going into Child Protective do (which the Lord would reveal in due time). care. There are also more than Custody. You ache to know stability. You don’t Fast forward six years, and after transitioning to know if anyone cares, because it seems like no full time and changing job titles more than once, 9,000 churches. See where I’m I’m still here. going with this? If one family out one wants you. The children I serve, the ministry God called me to, is full of heartbroken The Lord had already told me where I was of every two churches fostered, children trying to figure out how to survive. meant to be; I just wasn’t listening. “We can They were abused and/or neglected to such make our plans, but the LORD determines our foster care in Mississippi would an extent, the state has decided it would be steps” (Proverbs 16:9). look totally different. better for them to be removed from the family One of my favorite parts of my job is getting home. Then this child is taken to a foster home the opportunity to tell the stories of children and full of strangers. Quite often, they are young and families in foster care. The story I most often tell is a happy foster care placement, one that usually ends in adoption. But don’t understand what is going on. So they use past behaviors to help them survive their current situation. But these learned behaviors are what about the ones where the placement fails? What about the moms usually inappropriate. and dads and biological children who are left in a house which Such behavior is what helped that child make it through being abused or neglected. It is the only coping skill they know. No one has taught them how to manage their emotions or what behaviors are appropriate. But when that child is having their third meltdown of the day, all we see is a “bad kid.” In reality, that child is hurting, scared and flailing to find solid ground.

As Christians, it’s easy to get compassion fatigue. There are so many hurting, broken people in our lives, our country, our world. So quickly our compassion-meter is empty, and we begin to grow apathetic. Which is what has led us here. We know the verse about taking care of widows and orphans, but someone else is doing that.

Surely your church is doing something, right?

In Mississippi, there are more than 4,000 children in foster care.

There are also more than 9,000 churches. See where I’m going with this? If one family out of every two churches fostered, foster care in Mississippi would look totally different. And guess what? When you have a church family behind you, fostering seems a lot more manageable.

But what about the pesky four-letter word we talked about earlier?

F-E-A-R. It is the perfect weapon to keep Christians immobilized.

When you’re frozen from fear, you’re no longer advancing the Kingdom of God. Be brave. Answer the call of the children and teenagers in foster care — and give hope to a child who desperately needs to know the love of God. Y

hen I first moved back home from overseas ministry,

Mandy Bufkin is a Jackson native and Belhaven University alumna. As Community Engagement Manager at MCHS, she oversees volunteers, communications and marketing. Outside of work, Mandy enjoys reading and spending time with her husband, Craig, and son, Ezra, at their home in Fondren.

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

lagniappe

BY WILLETTE MYRICK

➺

What Habakkuk can teach us about 2020

T

he book of Habakkuk serves as a reminder that there will be times when

God seems silent and not concerned about our lives — but that in fact, He is present and working on our behalf.

Habakkuk, one of the minor prophets of the Old Testament, was deeply troubled with the problem of evil in the world. During that time, the world was consumed and overtaken by wickedness, destruction and violence.

The people of Judah had become corrupt.

There was no justice in the land. He could not take it any longer, so he cried out to God. He had been asking God to deal with the problem, but God seemed to be silent.

Today we are living in somewhat similar times. It seems as if our world has been turned upside-down.

◆ According to CNN, 20.5 million

Americans lost their jobs during the month of April.

◆ COVID-19 has taken the lives of more

Americans than the Vietnam War. More than 8 million cases have been reported so far in the United States, with more than 200,000 deaths.

◆ Social distancing is highly encouraged and, depending on where you are, masks are required in public. Public gatherings are now limited.

The list goes on and on.

But scripture teaches us that “God is nigh unto all them that call upon Him, to all that call upon Him in truth” (Psalm 145:18).

◆ Remember the woman with the blood ailment? According to Mark 5:21-34, God heard her cry, and He answered!

◆ The Israelites stayed under the rule of

Pharaoh for 430 years (Exodus 12:40).

God heard their cry, and He answered!

◆ Daniel was thrown into the lions’ den,

where he remained all night (Daniel 6:1922). God heard his cry, and He answered!

◆ God knows what we are going through, and He has a plan for all of us.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

In the book of Habakkuk, chapter 2, God finally answers Habakkuk’s cry and addresses the situation. He makes it clear that He is not going to tolerate Judah’s behavior, which was so disturbing to Habakkuk.

This is evidence that God is very much concerned with every aspect of our lives. He will come to our rescue and work things out for us at His own perfect time.

Let us be encouraged and trust Him. If you haven’t already, I challenge you to read the book of Habakkuk. It is sure to bless you. Y

Willette Myrick is a retired educator, mother of three, grandmother of four, and greatgrandmother of one. She also has one godson.

She lives in central Mississippi with her husband, David, of 28 beautiful years.

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APRIL BELLE PHOTOS

From left, Bailey-Grace, Roman-Parker, Demario, Tamela holding Carly-Faith, and Summer-Joy Davis.

Demario and Tamela Davis The New Orleans Saints linebacker and his ‘pillar’ are on a mission, from Mississippi to the NFL

by KATIE EUBANKS

Earlier this year, Demario and Tamela Davis noticed something strange in their daughter Carly-Faith’s left eye. She was not yet a year old. During MCL’s phone interview with the Davises, Tamela tells the story:

18

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

“We noticed that she had like a glare, or like a white film over her pupil.”

Carly-Faith’s pediatrician said “for us to just to kind of watch it and make sure it wasn’t growing,” Tamela says. Then they started noticing the glare more and more. The Mississippi natives had just moved to Nashville, so their pediatrician connected them with Vanderbilt University. That was in May. Within three days, Carly-Faith’s left eye was removed.

She’d had a tumor, a rare form of eye cancer affecting children, and had gone blind

in her left eye. But the cancer hadn’t quite reached her right eye, and she was just shy of needing chemotherapy.

Carly-Faith now has a prosthetic eye, which you wouldn’t notice unless you knew about it, and is still under observation every three months. Otherwise, she carries on like any lively 1-year-old. “(God) has definitely sustained us and her,” Tamela says.

In a year like 2020, the Davises are grateful — for their health, their family, and most of all, their relationship with Christ.

“Every year is different (but) our mission is always the same,” Demario says. “We wake up every day trying to know God more — and trying to make Him known as much as possible.”

‘You definitely did too much’

recalls. “And we were just talking like friends — or I was. Maybe Tamela was lining it up. “(One day) the lightbulb kind of clicked: ‘This is your wife.’ So at that point, we had probably been friends for like a month and a half .... I invited her out to be my date for ‘I need a new heart’ Valentine’s. I really wanted to just gauge and Demario’s first football uniform had the see if there was something there.”

Saints logo on the front.

See if this sounds like someone who’s just “Me and my cousins used to play tag gauging interest: football in the streets, just one on one,” he “I had to agree to be his Valentine for recalls. “So my uncle … bought me my the whole weekend,” Tamela says. first uniform, for me and my cousin, and Though she was unsure of his intentions, they were Saints uniforms. So we suited he was a perfect gentleman. The multiup and went out in the yard (in) day date involved dinner out, events on kindergarten or first grade.” campus, a couple’s massage, a “sing-aSeveral years later, Demario’s eighthgram,” roses and a letter. grade football team in Brandon went “Then he took me to (a rooftop) and undefeated. He started to realize this we danced to some of my favorite songs sport could take him places. that he had heard me talk about,” she Then he started high school. His says, laughing. father was rarely home, and his mother “It was very overwhelming. … I was couldn’t be everywhere at once. very shocked, very overwhelmed with Demario idolized local drug dealers, how much of a gentleman he really was.” and he started having sex and using That’s when Demario noticed his shirt marijuana and alcohol at 14. A couple of getting wet. petty crimes landed him in alternative “(I asked) ‘Why are you crying?’” he school and, later, the ER. recalls. “It wasn’t just tears. She was He cleaned up his act as an sobbing. (She said) ‘I’m just really happy.’ ” upperclassman and received a full She was also afraid, she says. Afraid scholarship to Arkansas State University this dream-come-true would end, and that — then went back to his “bad boy” he would be “someone else’s prince.” lifestyle. He wound up in jail for stealing Demario consulted some of his junk food from Walmart. (He had “spiritual sisters on campus” afterward, grocery money, which his mother sent he says. They told him, “You definitely him every week. He was simply trying did too much.” once again to prove himself.)

Lesson learned. But he was still Instead of revoking his scholarship, pursuing Tamela, or Tam, as he calls her.

Coach Steve Roberts gave Demario He just needed confirmation that her lots and lots of hill sprints. Team relationship with God was authentic. That chaplain Chuck McElroy started to didn’t take long. spend time with him in scripture.

The Davises got married in July 2012, just a few months Later that month, while attending a God began to convict Demario of his sin. after Demario was drafted by the New York Jets. conference that Demario had told her about, He saw the truth of Jesus’ words that a good Tamela says, “I just feel like the scales were tree can’t bear bad fruit, and vice versa. just kind of removed from my eyes.

Eventually he cried out to the Lord in what he “She said she didn’t notice me, but I think “(God told me) ‘You’ve been living a life for calls the “most sincere prayer I had ever she did. I think she was timing up leaving the yourself … you’ve been extremely religious prayed”: “God, I need a new heart.” classroom at the same time,” he says with a and looked down on other people. … but you God gave him one. Then his actions started laugh. They started walking to their cars have not lived your life just sold-out completely to follow suit. In time, God removed Demario’s together after class, and he told her about for Me. … Do you want to love Me and serve taste for drugs and alcohol, and broke off a some campus ministries he participated in.

Me and be My disciple, or do you want to have sexually active relationship he’d been in for “God had been dealing with me on one foot in and one foot out?’” five years. entering a deeper relationship with Him, but I She chose surrender.

He was being prepared for many things. didn’t know exactly what that looked like,” Tamela and Demario kept dating, and in One of them was Tamela.

Tamela says.

May he asked her to be his girlfriend. On “(We’d say) ‘I want my spouse to be like Christmas Eve, he proposed. The following this,’ or ‘I want this many kids,’ ” Demario Tamela was born and raised in Walnut Grove, less than an hour from Brandon, but didn’t cross paths with Demario till she was pursuing a master’s in English literature at Arkansas State.

She’d already taken a medieval literature class, but she had to take it again. Demario didn’t want to take medieval literature, but the class he wanted was not available.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2020 19

to homeschooling, and offers a transparent look at her walk with God, “to display just who I am in Christ and all that He’s showing me, through my faithfulness and my unfaithfulness,” she says.

Before this reporter can ask the next question, Demario interjects: “Well let me brag on her a little bit, because she’s being extra modest.” He praises Tamela’s maturity, organizational skills, and definitely her cooking. More importantly, he says she’s not only a blogger, but “a pillar for women” — and men, too.

“A lot of times my friends get to talking to Tam and they forget I’m even in the room. And it comes really because of her faith. Her prayer life is so deep,” he says.

“If she prays for something, it’s going to happen. Something will change in me and I’ll be like, ‘You’ve been praying for me, haven’t you?’”

APRIL BELLE PHOTOS

‘Hey coach, can we talk about this?’

“Having the opportunity to shepherd the children that God has blessed us with is a tremendous honor and responsibility,” Demario says. “Our goal is to help guide them into living a kingdom-building life and maximize all the gifts that God has given them.”

July, they were married, just a few months after he was drafted into the NFL.

The New York Jets picked Demario in the third round of the 2012 NFL Draft. After playing five seasons with the Jets and one with the Cleveland Browns, the linebacker became a free agent and signed a three-year contract with the Saints in March 2018.

Along the way, he and Tamela have had four children: Bailey-Grace, 7; Roman-Parker, 5; Summer-Joy, 4; and Carly-Faith, 1.

While living on mission as an NFL wife, Tamela has learned not to rely on her own strength.

“I think one of the hardest parts for me was realizing that I can’t save anybody,” she says.

“You can do all of these things, and you can get them to come to Bible study, to go do these community service projects … but until they make a conscious choice ... “ While being a witness and letting the Holy Spirit do the rest, Tamela also writes about four “F”s — faith, family, football and food — on her 20

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

APRIL BELLE PHOTOS

‘The F Word’

From left, Summer-Joy, Roman-Parker and BaileyGrace Davis.

blog, “The F Word,” which she launched just under a year ago.

She blogs about everything from cooking

The Davises know they are fortunate. Not every kid from Walnut Grove gets a master’s.

Not every errant athlete is given grace.

“If my coaches didn’t pay my bail, because I was in a prosperous football program — $10,000 bail, I didn’t have that money, my mom didn’t have that money — I could’ve been locked in jail for months, which could’ve really changed the trajectory of my life, when you really look at the psychology of what happens to people (behind bars),” Demario says.

With that in mind, and with a shared passion for discipleship, mentorship, entrepreneurship and education, Demario and Tamela run the Devoted Dreamers Foundation in metro Jackson, focusing mostly on 7th- through 12th-graders.

“Our goal in Devoted Dreamers is — why did it have to be that I got to college (before) I had that mentor (who led me to Christ)? Why couldn’t it happen in middle school or high school?” Demario says.

“You can know how to manage your resources and be an entrepreneur, but then if you don’t have that intimate relationship with Christ, then it still changes the trajectory of your life,” Tamela says. “(Devoted Dreamers is) almost a one-stop shop, where you’re able to get (education and character development), but also you’re able to have that exposure to what it looks like to pursue Christ, and you get to see that from us, and we have a chaplain in all our departments.

“We’re just spitting it to them raw in ways that we didn’t experience (at that age),” she says. “Some of the kids don’t always have the best home environment, or the best environment at school. (At Devoted Dreamers)

Yes, it’s that personal.

“We believe that you will see the most impact where they’re able to see our lives firsthand,” she says.

APRIL BELLE PHOTOS

Man of God

Whether they’re in New Orleans (where this photo was taken), Nashville, or metro Jackson, the Davises work as a team to raise their family, pour into young people through their Devoted Dreamers Foundation, and advance the kingdom of God.

“Our goal in Devoted Dreamers is — why did it have to be that I got to college (before) I had that mentor (who led me to Christ)? Why couldn’t it happen in middle school or high school?”

Demario says.

you will be loved unconditionally, but you will also be challenged … in ways that you might not be (otherwise).”

Devoted Dreamers typically holds a mentorship program from January to June, a summer camp, a spiritual conference, a oneday football camp, and a fundraising gala. Due to COVID, everything they did this year was virtual, Tamela says, including the conference, a back-to-school event, and monthly video chats with the kids.

“We’re checking on grades, things that they have going on. And then the kids have kind of developed those kind of relationships (with us) where they can just call Demario and say, ‘Hey coach, can we talk about this?’”

In September 2019, the NFL fined Demario just over $7,000 for wearing a headband displaying the words “MAN OF GOD” during a game. Actually, he’d been wearing it since preseason, and didn’t fully understand the rule prohibiting it.

Surprised by the fine, he posted on Instagram and asked fans whether he should keep wearing the headband. They rallied to his defense, and the NFL rescinded the penalty.

Demario gave the money he would’ve paid the league — plus proceeds from sales of the headbands, which he made available to buy online — to St. Dominic Hospital in Jackson, where his mother worked for more than 20 years as a cytotechnologist. That money added up to $150,000 — which was then matched, for a total of $300,000 for St. Dominic’s new emergency program.

Now he’s taking the Man of God brand in a new direction.

“We’re doing Man of God, Woman of God (and) Child of God masks (for COVID), and those proceeds will go to the families of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd,” he says. He believes approximately $50,000 had been raised at last count.

This is just one way Demario has poured out his time, talents and resources to address racial and criminal injustice. He is also a member of the Players’ Coalition, which exists to end social injustices and racial inequality.

While the Devoted Dreamers Foundation reaches kids themselves, the Players’ Coalition works to create a more equitable world for those kids.

“The system has to be fixed,” he says.

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Victory in adversity (and a really weird year) In January, Demario released a book called “The Unsuccessful Champion.”

If the title makes you do a double-take, he explains: “My life has been marked by almost getting there a lot of times, and then falling short.”

From playing on an undefeated Little League team, then losing the championship, to making the playoffs twice with the Saints, but not the Super Bowl, that theme of “almost” runs throughout Demario’s sports career.

“If you know you can’t achieve something, it’s kind of easier to accept. But when you know you can, and you get close and you don’t, that can be devastating,” he says.

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Demario, second from right, has used his Man of God, Woman of God and Child of God products to raise money for causes close to his heart.

Demario with New Orleans Saints owner Gayle Benson, widow of owner Tom Benson.

22

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Behind every good man ... Demario calls Tamela a “pillar” and says when she prays for something, it’s going to happen.

Tamela and Demario at a Devoted Dreamers Foundation event. Tamela is pregnant with CarlyFaith, their youngest, at the time.

“But once I found my relationship with Christ, I realized I was a champion before I ever started. I could have that (worldly) success … and still be a loser, and still feel like a failure, because I’m looking for that stuff to gratify. But no, I’m a champion … in Him. Once my day is done on this planet, I’ll hear, ‘Well done, My good and faithful servant.’ ” The book’s subtitle, “Finding Victory in Adversity,” is especially apt for this year.

COVID-19 has brought plenty of adversity, along with circumstances that are less traumatic but just plain irritating — like seeing fewer fans in the stadiums, and not being able to stand too close to your teammates for too long at practice.

“Football and COVID don’t go together,” Demario says with a laugh, after detailing the many (many!) protocols the Saints have in place. But he is trusting God to keep him

focused, and seeking His wisdom to keep him and his family healthy.

Whether it’s a pandemic, a uniform violation, or the much more personal trial of handing his baby girl over to a surgeon, Demario knows God will work all things together for his good. One of his favorite scriptures is Romans 8:28, which says just that.

For Tamela, John 15:5 is especially important. That’s when Jesus tells the disciples to abide in Him as branches in a vine — a fitting picture of how she and her husband have sought to live their lives. Her explanation is a good reminder for all of us: “In order for me to bear fruit, I must abide in the vine. Apart from God, I’m incapable, I cannot do anything. So I’m just constantly reminding myself of why I should always be humble and sitting at His feet.” Y

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➺feature

by KATIE EUBANKS

Surviving separation, capture, and the Hanoi Hilton

MCL: Col. Harris, how did you spend most of your time at the prison?

Col. Harris: We spent some part of each day doing whatever exercise we could ...

Running in place, or pushups or sit-ups … We spent more time communicating with other POWs than anything else … Often we were in solitary confinement or with one cellmate. If we tried to use voice, we immediately got the guards’ attention ... So we found various ways to communicate covertly.

MCL: The tap code was one of the biggest ways you and your fellow POWs encouraged each other. Did the guards figure out what the tapping was?

Col. Harris: Yes. … So we found lots of other ways that they didn’t hear. ... If we were ever given the opportunity, say, to sweep down a cell or the corridor between cells, we swept in tap code. If we were ever out chopping wood, we chopped in tap code. … we would be coughing and sniffing (in tap code).

MCL: What kind of physical mistreatment did you go through?

(Reader discretion is advised.)

Col. Harris: A lot of the time up there … was pure boredom. But there were lots of times when they tried to (make us) write a statement that was favorable to the north Vietnamese, (or) meet with people outside that were favorable to their cause. And we refused .… if they asked capabilities about our aircraft, we’d simply say we couldn’t answer that. Pretty soon they got angry and would knock you off the stool two or three times, and if you kept that stance up, which we all did … most of the guys that I know … you 24

NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

LAUREN ZUELZKE

In honor of Veterans Day, MCL recently interviewed Tupelo residents Col. Carlyle “Smitty” Harris, a retired Air Force pilot, and his wife, Louise, about the hardest eight years of their lives (April 1965–February 1973), when Col. Harris was imprisoned at the infamous “Hanoi Hilton” during the Vietnam War. You can read more in Col. Harris’ book, coauthored with Sara Berry, titled “Tap Code: The Epic Survival Tale of a Vietnam POW and the Secret Code That Changed Everything,” available on Amazon or at stores in metro Jackson.

This interview has been edited for space and clarity.

“We knew we’d be all right together when we got back together, and that was true,” said Louise Harris, right, of she and her husband Col. Carlyle “Smitty” Harris’ eight-year separation while he was imprisoned in Vietnam.

would end up with some really heavy torture.

By heavy torture, I mean having ratcheted handcuffs put on your forearms behind your back, and the guards would start banging them together until I’m sure the bones in the lower arm were bent together, and just leave you that way. The pain was terrific.

And if that didn’t work, they had — we called it the rope trick. … Essentially, they tied your hands behind your back, and sat you down on

concrete or something, and tied your legs together, and tied a rope around your neck, and started pulling your head down toward your knees, and with your arms behind your back, some of them would start pushing your arms up, until sometimes they pushed them completely out of socket. … I don’t know if anyone was able totally to defy the north Vietnamese after some version of the rope trick.

They also used beatings — usually in the beatings they would hold you down and beat you on your back and buttocks with a long strip of rubber tire about an inch in width.

(But when) we finally wrote something (for them under duress), we put slang in it, or a double meaning, so that at the highest levels of their government, they saw that if it was released, it would be contrary (laughs) — it would affect the world opinion to their detriment.

Sometimes it would be a year, sometimes it would be a month, and they would try again to get us to do something that we refused to do.

Left: Col. Harris in March 1965, just one month before being shot down and captured. Right: Col. Harris in November 1973, several months after his release.

MCL: How did you get your first letter to Louise?

Col. Harris: I had been there I guess a couple months, and all of a sudden, I was pulled

out of solitary confinement and put in a cell with three other American POWs. (They) gave us an opportunity to write letters home, which we jumped right on, but the reason … was to take the letters to a conference they had scheduled with foreign diplomats to show that they were complying with the Geneva agreements that they had signed.

A great diplomat, a lady, as she was leaving the room (at the conference), picked one off the table, and it was my letter ... (She) eventually mailed it from England, and it got back to Louise sometime a month or so later.

with our God, and the end result is all those things that we prayed for happened. And here I am talking to you on the telephone with my wife.

MCL: So those other letters never made it home. They were just props.

Col. Harris: They were props.

MCL: Louise, when did you find out your husband had been shot down?

Louise Harris: We were living in Okinawa.

The morning after he was shot down, I received a call from my mother in the United States.

(Then the military) confirmed that he had been shot down, and that no parachute had been seen, and that no communication had been received from him.

I said, “Well, he’s alive. If he were dead, I’d feel it.”

They said, “Well, we’ll get things organized and have you on the next plane out.” I said, “Absolutely not. I am eight months pregnant.”

(When our son, Lyle) was six weeks old, I had decided I would come to Tupelo to be near my sister and her husband.

MCL: How did you keep from going crazy with worry?

Louise Harris: I am, as he is, very optimistic, and I stayed busy with three children.

In August after he was shot down in April, our local postmaster called, and he said, “Mrs. Harris, I may be nuts, but I think I have a letter here from your husband.” So I got my niece to come over, and I raced to the post office, and sure enough it was the letter from Smitty.

I raced home, and the children and I read it together ... They weren’t quite sure what they were excited about, except the girls were aware enough to know it was a letter from Daddy. Then I called Smitty’s mother and dad, and my mother and grandmother, and then I called the Pentagon.

They changed his status … to “detained by hostile forces.” I began to get a little more cooperation, and if they got a bit of news by whatever source, it made me privy to a little bit more information. … Any tiny drop of information became a lifeline.

Col. Harris, center, in the Hanoi March a few months after capture. He’s down about 30 pounds.

The U.S. government acquired this photo from the Japanese government and passed it on to Louise.

MCL: Was that the only letter you got from your husband?

Louise Harris: No. But they were very scarce. … And while we were able to mail them a letter a month, he didn’t get a letter a month.

(Later) we were able to mail a package a month, and he didn’t get those either.

(But any information the U.S. government got) that wasn’t classified, (I received). And even occasionally I would get a bit of classified information.

And daily with the children we would talk about my husband as if he was going to walk through that door any moment. … we talked about what he liked and what he didn’t like. …

We’d laugh about the things he’d laugh about …

So when he did come home, he wasn’t a stranger. He was Daddy.

MCL: Col. Harris, what was the hardest part of those eight years?

Col. Harris: Torture. (laughs) I’ve always been an optimist. And I always thought that I would be home with my family in about six months or so. And that kept extending and extending, but I never gave up hope. As we were held and held, we became stronger, and they were never going to break our will.

The other thing that sustained us the whole time was faith. … when we were really in bad straits, and had no one to turn to, we would pray.

Of course we didn’t get the immediate miracles that we wanted, but we gained in ways that were better than we could have imagined — having hope, and knowing we had a communication

MCL: How and when did you reunite with your family?

Col. Harris: February 12, 1973, was my release date. And we flew to the Philippines, to Clark Air Base (for medical work and debriefing), and I got to call Louise. And then, on the 16th, I flew from Clark Air Force Base, landed in Hawaii, then California, and finally on a plane to Maxwell Air Force Base in Alabama, in Montgomery.

I landed about 2 o’clock in the morning, and there were already a couple hundred people … welcoming me home with signs and yells, and as I happened to be the senior POW on that flight … they pushed me up to a microphone to say a few words, and I don’t know what I said, but Louise was in the backseat of a (staff car) that pulled up right behind me. (laughs) I didn’t know it … and in a few moments I was with her in the automobile, and they took us to our quarters on base.

Louise Harris: Where the rest of our family was.

MCL:What do y’all think is the biggest thing God taught you over those eight years?

Louise Harris: Patience. (laughs) Col. Harris: Well, we knew we always had someone to turn to. No matter what.

Louise Harris: We knew we’d be all right together when we got back together, and that was true. From that very moment, we were OK. Col. Harris: And I met my almost 8-yearold son.

Louise Harris: For the first time.

MCL: What was that like?

Col. Harris: Oh, that was wonderful. (When I first hugged him) he didn’t really hug back, but that didn’t bother me — I knew it was the first time he’d seen this stranger. (Later) I opened my arms, and he came running over and jumped in my arms and gave me a hug. And we’ve had a wonderful relationship ever since.

MCL: Col. Harris, how are you able to share so openly about your experience in Vietnam?

Col. Harris: I think mainly because we made so many close, close friends. I use the word “brotherhood,” I guess. And they’re so valuable to us even today. A close relationship with our God, a confidence in ourselves that we can stand up to just about anything ... (We) gained from the experience. Y mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2020 25

➺this is my story

by EMILY GREGORY

How my son’s illness made me long for heaven

G

iving my life to the Lord meant longing for eternity in heaven with Jesus, right? Knowing that this life on

earth can’t compare to eternity in heaven meant that I would anticipate it with excitement, right?

Well, as a believer in college and a young adult, why was this idea of the forever and ever bringing me such anxiety?

In my younger years and through most of my 20s, life was easy and good, apart from the small and ordinary daily challenges. I had a wonderful upbringing and family. I went to college, met my husband, got married and had three beautiful children.

I was living a great life, but as a believer, it bothered me that I lacked an excitement for heaven. While in college in the ‘90s, I was studying God’s Word, and I began wondering about heaven. I became overwhelmed with the idea of the forever and ever and what that looked like. I knew I was a believer and had assurance of where I was going. But I couldn’t comprehend living there and worshiping the Lord forever. I couldn’t Clockwise from top left: Amelia, Mary Addison, Paul, Beau and Emily Gregory. picture it being worthy or great enough to replace the life I already had. disease that attacks the began to bring back that fear of eternity that I This began to overwhelm colon. (Five very long had tucked away for all those years. But instead me and consume my years later, I of it returning as a fear, it returned as a new and thoughts. I prayed that the underwent surgery to welcomed perspective.

Lord would give me a desire remove my colon.)

From the moment of Beau’s diagnosis, my for heaven, or that this fear The day after I was only comfort was dreaming of the day when would stop consuming me. diagnosed, we received Beau will run into the arms of Jesus without For the next decade, I was Beau’s positive growing weary, and will be made WHOLE in able to “tuck” the fear away diagnosis. We were heaven. How beautiful. and stay strong in my faith, devastated. During the As I longed for that for Beau, I began to long even though the longing for Emily with her son, Beau, who has a six-week wait, I’d cried for that for myself. I realized I didn’t have to heaven was distant. out to the Lord to take understand what eternity looks like in order to progressive muscle-wasting disease called In 2007, my comfortable this away. It was in one of desire it. I began to anticipate the day which can Duchenne muscular dystrophy. and easy life came crashing those moments that I only take place on the other side of this earthly down. When our middle was overcome by a firm life — the kind of wholeness that Jesus paid the child, Beau, turned 2, we became concerned “no” from the Lord. Not an angry “no.” The kind highest ransom for, so I can stand blameless and over his muscle weakness and low muscle tone. of “no” that said, “I’m going to love you through whole in eternity one day. Brothers and sisters, I A neurologist told us that all arrows seemed to be this, sustain you, and provide you with exactly cannot wait. pointing to a genetic, progressive musclewhat you need each day.” The kind of “no” that “No eye has seen, nor ear has heard, nor the wasting disease called Duchenne muscular said, “I love Beau more than you do. I haven’t heart of man imagined, what God has prepared dystrophy. We embarked on a six-week wait for forgotten him, nor forsaken him.” Because of this for those who love Him.” - 1 Corinthians 2:9 Y a genetic test that would prove the doctor’s gentle “no,” I was able to come to terms with Emily and her husband, Paul, live in Madison with their suspicions.

Beau’s diagnosis more easily. I didn’t have to like children: Mary Addison, 18; Beau, 15; and Amelia, 14.

During this wait, I became extremely sick it or be OK with it, but I did have to accept it.

They are members of Madison Heights Church, PCA. due to the intense stress. IBS symptoms, fever Instead of asking “why,” I had to shift to You can hear more of Emily’s story on episode 70 of and wasting away for a month led me to a “what”: “What do I do now? What are You doing, the “Storytellers Live” podcast. diagnosis of ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune Lord?” As I grappled with the “what,” the Lord

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:

✝ THE PROBLEM

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).

✝ THE SOLUTION

…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!

✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9

✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?

Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.

✝ THE RESULTS

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17

If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans!

Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith.

If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2020 27

➺food for thought recipes by THE MCL FAMILY

Thanksgiving favorites

EVERYDAY-DELICIOUS.COM

Here are a few recipes we love that can be served at Thanksgiving or any fall gathering. Enjoy!

TURKEY, SWEET POTATO AND CRANBERRY STEW From Debby Eubanks, mother of Editor Katie Eubanks. Recipe originally appeared in Prevention magazine.

3 pounds turkey drumsticks, skin removed (can also use duck, which is delicious!)

1 small onion, diced 1 tablespoon honey 1 tablespoon cider vinegar 1½ teaspoons fresh ginger, finely chopped 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup chicken stock 1 pound sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1” chunks ½ cup dried cranberries (or dried cherries, which I prefer!)

2 tablespoons flour Combine all but the last three ingredients in a large slow cooker*. Cover and cook on low 5 hours. Add potatoes and cranberries, then cook further until potatoes are tender, about 45 minutes more.

Remove meat and other ingredients from liquid and set aside in a large bowl. Whisk flour into liquid until smooth. Remove meat from bones, and put meat and other ingredients back into the liquid. Reheat if needed. *You may also cook in a Dutch oven or large pot on the stove.

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

STRING BEAN CASSEROLE

CHOCOLATE CHIP RUM CAKE

A favorite from Mary K. Kidd, mother of Graphic Designer Sandra Goff.

A favorite from Lucy Banks, mother of Managing Editor Suzanne Durfey.

1 1 1 1 1 ½ 1

can French-cut string beans (drained) (4-ounce) can mushrooms (drained) can cream of celery soup can water chestnuts (sliced) small onion, finely chopped stick butter can French-fried onions

Brown the chopped-fine onion in ½ stick butter. In same skillet, brown the mushrooms.

Add the beans, water chestnuts, and cream of celery soup, and stir well.

Place in casserole dish and heat until hot in 350-degree oven.

Then add can of French-fried onions on top and cook until onions are brown.

1 box yellow cake mix (regular size) 1 package (3.4 ounces) instant vanilla pudding mix 1 cup milk ¾ cup canola oil 4 eggs 1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips 5 tablespoons grated German sweet chocolate, divided 2 teaspoons rum or rum extract 2 tablespoons confectioners’ sugar In a large bowl, combine the cake and pudding mixes, milk, oil and eggs. Beat on low speed for 30 seconds. Beat on medium for 2 minutes. Stir in chocolate chips, 3 tablespoons (reserve other 2) grated chocolate, and rum/rum extract.

Pour into a greased and floured 10” fluted tube or Bundt pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 55-65 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack to cool completely.

Combine confectioners’ sugar and remaining grated chocolate; sprinkle over cake.

Do you see a LEADER when you look in the mirror?

HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS: Share your story of faith and leadership for a chance to

receive a scholarship toward college tuition. Applications and instructions are available at MSChristianLiving.com or through school counselors. Application deadline: November 13.

Mississippi Christian Living, in partnership with Belhaven University, will honor our 13th class of Christian Leaders of the Future at an afternoon event on Belhaven’s campus on March 2, 2021. Two interactive back-to-back workshops will be followed by a reception, keynote speaker presentation, and awarding of two $1,000 scholarships.

Deadline

November 1 3

For more information, email Suzanne Durfey at suzanne@mschristianliving.com or email katie@mschristianliving.com mschristianliving.com â?˜ NOVEMBER 2020 29

➺the middle ages

by SHERYE S. GREEN

3 ways it can be well with your soul

“I

t is Well With My Soul” is one of my favorite hymns. Its calm,

composed lines speak of a secure faith — “Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say” — one that has no reservations about the goodness of God. While I’d like to think my faith is that secure, I know I’ve never been tested to the degree that hymn writer Horatio Spafford and his family were.

I cannot comprehend the heartbreak and emotional devastation Spafford suffered in 1873 upon learning of his four daughters’ drowning deaths after the ocean liner Villa de Havre sank in the icy waters of the Atlantic after being struck by another vessel.

Spafford’s wife, Anna, survived the disaster.

Catastrophe, however, had struck two years earlier in 1871. Spafford and his family lived comfortably in Chicago, where he was established as a prosperous, well-respected attorney. Their only son, who was 4 at the time, died of scarlet fever. When a massive fire swept through Chicago later that same year, Spafford lost a considerable portion of his fortune when the hungry flames consumed his many real estate properties. Spafford wrote “It Is Well” after experiencing all these tragedies.

Unfortunately, his life would not always match the doctrinal truths of his famous hymn. He and Anna moved to Jerusalem in 1881 and founded the American Colony, which — though it operated a soup kitchen and hospitals during World War I — was a heretical cult that followed ungodly practices.

If “It Is Well” reflected a clear-eyed vision of Christ, Spafford abandoned that vision (possibly due to the tragedies he suffered) for delusions of personal grandeur.

So how do we avoid doing the same?

Especially in this peculiar year of 2020, which has brought tragedy, heartbreak, disappointment, disillusion and setback?

Here are three principles from the hymn itself that I pray will keep each of us strong and grounded in our faith:

Unfortunately, (Horatio Spafford’s) life would not always match the doctrinal truths of his famous hymn. … If “It Is Well” reflected a clear-eyed vision of Christ, Spafford abandoned that vision for delusions of personal grandeur. So how do we avoid doing the same?

The third line of the first stanza of “It is Well With My Soul” begins with the phrase, “Whatever my lot.” Where does faith come into play when the storms of life knock you off your perch? The word whatever means “no matter what.” Spafford walked away from an orthodox faith in Christ, but we are to cleave to the Lord and remember that He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).

The second phrase in that third line, “Thou hast taught me to say,” speaks of a close relationship with the Lord. It is possible to develop a faith that holds on, no matter what.

We just need a willingness to be taught by God, instead of leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

The last line of the first stanza states: “It is well, it is well with my soul.” This simple line is a bright torch in the darkness, a declaration of faith that shouts out a refusal to shrink in the face of life’s greatest tragedies.

This might seem too simple — and certainly we aren’t to bottle up our grief — but the Lord calls us to a childlike faith that, regardless of our emotions, trusts in His eternal goodness and mercy toward us (Psalm 107:1). No matter what, it will always be well, because the Lord is the One who goes before and is with us.

During this Thanksgiving season, may our hearts be filled with gratitude for God’s many blessings. My prayer is that we will be encouraged to hold on tightly to our faith — not that of our own, and not that of fallible men, but one the Lord has given us. Whatever our lot, I pray we can truthfully say it is well with our souls. Y Sherye S. Green is a Jacksonian and a wife, mother and grandmother. Sherye and her husband, Mark, are members of First Baptist Jackson. She is also the author of Abandon Not My Soul and Tending the Garden of My Heart.

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2020 31

➺tough questions

by BRENNA WEAVER

How do I get my parents to back off?

QUESTION: I’m a teenager, and my overly religious parents are pushing me away from the church with their restrictive ways. How do I respectfully get them to back off, so they don’t ruin my faith?

ANSWER: It is wonderful that you want to respectfully engage your parents on the

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

topic of faith. I imagine they will be proud to know your faith is important to you, and that you want to maintain it. You are at the developmentally appropriate place of differentiating your faith from your parents’ faith, and it could complicate the parent-child relationship.

You say your parents are overly religious and super restrictive. How have you responded to their rules? Do you balk and react negatively? Are you initially agreeing to the rules, only to secretly undermine them later? If so, they may be less likely to hear you out when you approach them about loosening the reins.

Proverbs 15:4 says, “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” One definition Webster has for perverseness is “obstinate in opposing what is right, reasonable, and accepted.” Unfortunately, “perverse” is a label often misapplied to teenagers who are trying to individuate from their parents.

Kindly and gently acknowledging your parents’ concern for your spiritual wellbeing, and highlighting ways their influence has helped How have you responded shaped you, may allow them to soften a bit. If they to their rules? Do you seem overzealous and prohibitive, it might be react negatively? Are you difficult for you to see any good in their measures. initially agreeing ... only to Take some time to make a list of things they have secretly undermine them done which have been beneficial for your later? If so, they may be spiritual growth.

Also, it is important to realize your parents less likely to hear you out ultimately cannot ruin your faith, because they did when you approach them not give you your faith. Yes, your parents can play about loosening the reins. an active part in shaping your religious views — for good or bad. Bad parenting, bad theology and bad worldviews do real spiritual damage; there is no denying it. However, true faith in Jesus comes from God alone.

Romans 10:17 tells us, “so then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Your parents’ actions can point to Christ, but they do not save you in Christ. You have a responsibility to own your part and not blame your parents if you choose to be pushed away from the church. That may be hard to hear.

Nonetheless, 2 Corinthians 13:5 states clearly, “examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves…” This is where it may be tricky with the parents if they are not open to you having religious freedom.

Is there a trusted church member you could speak with about this? He or she may be able to provide additional insight and may also be able to advocate for you with your parents. Lastly, pray. Pray that your heart and your parents’ hearts will be softened toward each other, so truth may be spoken in love, so you may be able to honor your parents, and so your parents may not exasperate you. Y

Brenna Weaver is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgeland working with clients 18 years and older. She has experience as a secondary education teacher and children’s therapist. When not working, she enjoys reading, eating good food, and traveling.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2020 33

BUSINESSES OF FAITH

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He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” – MATTHEW 16:15-16

➺quips & quotes ✂

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Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! ~ 1 CHRONICLES 16:34 (ESV)

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~ 1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18 (ESV)

God has promised to supply all our needs. What we don’t have now, we don’t need now. ~ Elisabeth Elliot

We ought to give thanks for all fortune: if it is good, because it is good, if bad, because it works in us patience, humility and the contempt of this world and the hope of our eternal country. ~ C.S. Lewis

Guard yourselves with gratitude.

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Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High. ~ PSALM 50:14 (ESV)

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Gratitude comes from the same word as freedom. Gratitude is the freeing expression of a free heart toward one who freely gave. ~ Ravi Zacharias

~ John Piper

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Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

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Careful for nothing, prayerful for everything, thankful for anything.

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~ PSALM 107:8-9 (ESV)

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It’s one thing to be grateful.

It’s another to give thanks.

Gratitude is what you feel.

Thanksgiving is what you do.

The key to thankfulness is not to view God through the lens of our circumstances, but to view our circumstances through the lens of God’s love and sovereign purpose.

~ Timothy Keller

~ Anne Graham Lotz

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God isn’t asking you to be thankful. He’s asking you to give thanks. There’s a big difference. One response involves emotions, the other your choices, your decisions about a situation, your intent, your step of faith. ~ Joni Eareckson Tada

Gratitude is an offering precious in the sight of God, and it is one that the poorest of us can make and be not poorer but richer for having made it. ~ A.W. Tozer

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NOVEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Blann Lutken Jackson, MS

“I am very thankful for St. Dominic’s.”

As a young mom with a new job, Blann Lutken was shocked when she was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 30. She met with a different specialist every day for a week, and suddenly Blann had an entire team of medical professionals at

St. Dominic’s Surgical Services coming together to save her life.

For more information about St. Dominic’s Surgical Services, call 601-200-2000 or visit www.stdom.com.

Thanks to St. Dominic’s she can be the mom she always wanted to be.

Skilled Hands and Compassionate Hearts.

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