Mississippi Christian Living September 2020

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SEPTEMBER 2020

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Betsy Primos

and other mothers find hope after losing sons to suicide

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contents SEPTEMBER 2020

®

Volume 15, Number 3 Publisher MS Christian Living, Inc. Editor Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com Managing Editor Suzanne Durfey Art/Graphic Design Sandra Goff

A simple prayer before a group fishing excursion illustrated how our actions as believers speak volumes, according to columnist Chris Bates (page 8).

columns 8 Outside In STEGALL IMAGERY

The sum of moments

Betsy Primos admits she cries “about every night” after losing her son Truett to suicide (see page 19).

But she believes God has given her a platform to raise awareness, whether by speaking to folks in person or by posting on social media.

10 Modern Motherhood Seeing God in a milestone birthday

12 Health & Wellness Think you're doing 'nothing'? Think again!

14 Mission Mississippi Moments On homework and humility

16 Lagniappe 4 ways exercise improves your mental health

32 This Is My Story

cover story 19 Betsy Primos and other mothers find hope after losing sons to suicide

28 From inmate to ministry leader The testimony of Daniel Awabdy

34 The Middle Ages How to be resolute in a world gone mad

35 Tough Questions 36 Food for Thought Lemon-fresh and guilt-free

37 What's Going On Food giveaway at New Horizon Rankin

Coming Next Month Elbert McGowan of Redeemer Church, PCA

in every issue 6 Editor’s Letter 38 Quips & Quotes 38 Advertiser Index

➺

CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving facebook.com/MSChristianLiving 4

SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Contributing Writers Chris Bates, Libbo Crosswhite, Chris Fields, Jason Goree, Sherye S. Green, Emily Hardin, Tristyn Holcomb, Sarah McLaughlin, Brenna Weaver Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Kathryn Dyksterhouse, Randy Fortenberry, Walton Gresham, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Bob Whatley Mississippi Christian Living 3304 N. State St., Ste 201D Jackson, MS 39216 Phone 601.790.9076

mschristianliving.com

Defying the odds after abuse

How to love across the aisle

feature

Sales Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober

Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ.

Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2020 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area and central Mississippi. Subscriptions are $29 a year.

POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, 3304 N. State St., Ste 201D, Jackson, MS 39216.

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➺editor’s letter Silence not an option in suicide prevention

S

Interviewing Betsy Primos, who lost her son Truett to suicide in 2017. “God has given me a life to live, even after Truett,” she said.

everal years ago, I met Ben Ingram when he visited my church one Sunday.

“Are you Austin’s sister?” Ben asked, and I said yes. I recognized Ben’s red hair and last name: His twin brother, Lee, played drums, just like my brother.

Within a year or two, Ben had committed suicide. Several months after that, a friendly acquaintance from my church did the same.

Since then, I’ve had at least two friends express suicidal-level depression.

Chances are, you’ve either known someone who’s struggled with suicidal thoughts, you’ve been that person yourself, or you know someone who’s lost a loved one to suicide.

Nobody likes to talk about it, but our silence isn’t doing anyone any good — especially in this year of “social distancing.”

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention says that on average, 132 suicides occur each day in the United States. Half of those deaths are by gun, and half by other methods. While white, middle-aged men are the demographic most likely to kill themselves, suicide is no respecter of age, race or gender.

One of our feature stories last year included the mother of a young woman who’d killed herself.

So what do you do when someone you love says something like, “I just don’t want to live anymore,” or you suspect they might be suicidal? First of all, please, please do not tell them just to pray it all away.

Yes, they absolutely need to seek the Lord above all else, if they’re willing. A lot of depression and anxiety has spiritual roots, and hearing the truth of the gospel is a mighty strong cure! If the person is willing, this should be the first step and a continual one. Ask God for wisdom in how to offer spiritual encouragement.

But God also gave us Christian mental health professionals. He gave me one. He even gave us medication, which in some cases could help with a chemical imbalance. Don’t dismiss a possible resource because it doesn’t seem “spiritual” enough, and keep in mind that the brain is part of the body. When your body is hurting, you don’t just pray. You call a doctor, and you might even take medicine.

In addition, here are some tips I stole, paraphrased and expounded on from the Mayo Clinic:

Ask questions. Give the person space to talk about how they feel, and ask questions, even ones that might seem dangerously specific: “Asking about suicidal thoughts or feelings won’t push someone into doing something self-destructive. In fact, offering an opportunity to talk about feelings may reduce the risk of acting on suicidal feelings.” While you should be gentle, you also want to find out what’s going on.

Look for warning signs. These can include the person saying things like, “I wish I had never been born,” or making statements more directly related to suicide. It can include them buying items needed to commit suicide. But it can also include social withdrawal, mood swings, increased drug and alcohol use, a change in eating or sleeping patterns, risky behavior, giving away belongings or “getting affairs in order,” saying goodbye as if it’s the last time, and/or becoming anxious and agitated.

Be respectful and acknowledge their feelings. Encourage them to talk to you, and don’t be patronizing or judgmental when they do. Listen to them (see page 25).

Encourage them to seek treatment. You can offer help and support, but if they need to see a trained mental health professional, pastor and/or support group, don’t try to be that for them. Offer to help research therapists and insurance options, or even take them to an appointment.

Encourage them that things will get better. Also encourage them to avoid drugs and alcohol, and try to remove anything they could use for suicide from their home. Never promise to keep their suicidal feelings a secret — because if their life is in immediate danger, you’ll have to break that promise.

Encourage the person to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Believe it or not, the mothers in our cover story (see page 19) have found hope that keeps them living, speaking out, and helping others, even after losing their sons to suicide.

I hope that by bringing the beast of suicide into the light, we can live out the decisive victory Christ won over it on the cross (Colossians 2:13-15). Y With hope,

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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➺outside in

by CHRIS BATES

The sum of moments

T

here were memorable sets of moments on that July day, standing

beside the Bitterroot River in western Montana. Despite being early summer, the upstream breeze made it comfortable. We had been fly fishing on this river many times, but to be back here with the fast, clear water and the surrounding mountains felt amazing.

We had made it here despite the pandemic. It took months of planning and weeks of preparing rods, flies and gear. My brother and I had fished this area as young boys and, with help from our uncle, been able to go back with friends over the years. Memories flooded back of cutthroat, rainbow and brown trout caught around each turn of the river. We all felt grateful to be there.

The four of us showed up apart from our normal lives as business leaders, husbands and fathers for that week of fishing. One of our group suggested we pray together before putting the boats in the river that first morning, and none of us hesitated. We stood circled together by the rushing water. He led us in a prayer of gratitude for where we were, who we were, and the opportunity to be together to take in God’s bounty and nature.

Taking that time for prayer together in that scene was a vivid reminder of how our actions can speak volumes. After all, these were four guys who focused on many right and good things such as family, careers, marriage and fun. It brings the question, though, as to how all of us combine our earthly roles with living as disciples at the same time. We all tend to be focused on the tasks of the day and what needs to be taken care of before each deadline. We are consumed by the activities of work and life and the emotions from whatever intersects with us at each moment.

How do our hours and days stack up, and what do we show for them even as we intend to follow God’s will? The sum of our moments is far greater than each moment by itself. Maybe we should ask ourselves some new questions as believers and be more intentional: Do we include spiritual items on our to-do list each day? Are we a Christian and a businessperson, or are we a Christian businessperson? Do we parent our children

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

in godly ways when it fits around soccer and supper, or do we teach them to use their personal relationship with Him during each activity? Do we love our spouse with the fierceness that He loves the church, or is it easier to fall into routines that do not show it well every day?

We cannot come to the end of our journey here and have lived the life of a warrior for Christ by just showing up for battles that are convenient. The book of our life does not make sense unless we have taken actions to put the pages together deliberately as we go. There is a real disconnect with God’s plan for us when it feels socially awkward or does not fit into our schedule to take outward actions of faith.

“Lifesong” by Casting Crowns gives great words of guidance: “Lord I give my life / A living sacrifice / To reach a world in need / To be your hands and feet / So may the words I say / And the things I do / Make my lifesong sing.”

Be challenged to live out your faith unceasingly. The Bitterroot River does not shy away from the boulders in its path. It goes right at them, rushes around them and continues down the mountain as intended. Whether your boulders are financial challenges, health problems, pandemics or unanswered questions of faith, go right at them. Seize the moments by sharing prayers with those around you. Seek the Spirit to teach you when you do not understand. Lift up your family, coworkers and those you bump into along your path.

Seek Him, and then share Him. Be able to relate to Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7–8 when he says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day — and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

Let the composition of your life be all that God intends for you each day. Y Chris Bates is CEO and co-founder of AgoraEversole a full-service marketing agency in Jackson, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraEversole.com. He and his wife, Stacy, and their children live in Madison.

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➺modern motherhood

by LIBBO CROSSWHITE

Seeing God in a daughter’s milestone birthday

“L

ord, what are you teaching me?” It’s the question that’s

echoed in my mind most lately.

Maybe it’s because I’ve realized over and over that there are so many questions I don’t have answers to, and it’s my way of coping.

Even without the chaos and confusion of our current world, I’ve always looked to this year as a big milestone in my life since the first time I held my daughter, Mary Thomas.

Mary Thomas will turn 7 this month — the same age I was when my dad died — and I have thought ahead to what she would be like at this age, and felt that I would feel the final gravity of what it means to lose a father at such a young age when watching my daughter turn 7.

Mary and I are simultaneously identical and exact opposites. We challenge each other, and we both love fiercely. Oddly enough, it looks like she might be decent at basketball, and I wasn’t allowed to shoot or dribble my senior year, so that’s a nice turn of events. I’ve made a career out of doing life with teenagers, yet I know I’ll need God’s hand more than ever when she’s a teenager.

My dad would be so proud of the girl that Mary Thomas is becoming, and laugh at my inability to know exactly how to handle her most days.

I hesitated to write about this topic this month because it seems that my story bleeds into this space quite often lately. But I’m reminded that part of the reason God gives us our stories is so we’ll share them and point others to Him. My story is simple: I have been redeemed and given the freedom to live in joy

despite earthly pain and brokenness, because Jesus Christ died to give me life. Sometimes I still find myself in awe that God has given me the opportunity to use this space to share how He’s transformed me, how He continues to transform my motherhood, and how much He longs to transform each of us.

I was recently reminded in my pastor’s sermon that Jesus sees our potential more than our brokenness. Jesus noticed Levi the tax collector and called Levi to follow Him. We see in Luke that Levi’s transformation meant a name change and calling to write (you might remember his critically acclaimed gospel, Matthew). It also meant an eternity of hope and the chance to see people he loved transformed by the grace of Jesus. He got to both write for Jesus and throw a party for Him — if that’s not living the dream, I don’t know what is.

Read Luke 5:27–32. It’s the crucial passage that reminds us why Jesus came to earth, in His own words: “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

Maybe the most relevant verse of 2020. We need Jesus to heal our sickness and sin. We need Jesus to be the One writing our story despite the pain we may endure this side of heaven.

In one of many discussions we’ve had about her birthday celebration since midMarch, Mary Thomas connected the dots that I was 7 when my dad died, and that was the same age she was turning.

“Must be kinda sad for you, huh, Mom?” she asked as we were driving down the road.

In timing that only God could provide, we were passing the cemetery where my dad was buried as she asked this question. With a tear in the corner of my eye, I said, “You know, it is sad, but I am learning that sometimes God teaches us the most through our sadness.”

Luke 5:27 gives us an important word for each of our stories with Jesus: “After that He went out and noticed a tax collector named Levi sitting in the tax booth, and He said to him, ‘Follow Me.’ ” Jesus noticed Levi. The word “notice” by definition is to observe or to pay attention.

Jesus notices each of us and is calling us to do the same.

Lately, God is teaching me to: ● Notice people. Not just see people, but notice them for who they are and who they could become if they knew the lifegiving power of Jesus. Who needs to hear your God story?

● Notice what God is teaching me through my experiences, both good and bad.

● Notice God’s almighty power reigning in every moment, big and small. Y

Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary Thomas, who is 6 years old, and a son, Russell, who is 4 years old. She is the high school guidance counselor at MadisonRidgeland Academy and can be emailed at lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.

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➺health &wellness

by CHRIS FIELDS

Think you’re doing ‘nothing’? Think again!

S

ince the fall of man, humanity has

been concerned with externalities, and understandably so, because everything that takes place internally eventually manifests itself externally. When Adam and Eve were confronted by God after their disobedience, they hid their externalities and instead of being ashamed of their disobedience, they were ashamed of their nakedness. They were ashamed of the result of the sin but not the sin itself.

According to Jesus, sin takes place internally before disobedience to God can ever occur externally, so that makes it virtually impossible for anything physical to occur without an internal occurrence first. That’s how we work, inside out. Babies are conceived inside out.

Thoughts are formed and decisions are made internally before any action takes place externally. Although the thought and action sometimes seem simultaneous, they aren’t.

That is why the Bible admonishes us to renew our mind with the Word of God so we can be cognizant of right and wrong and have the necessary tools to keep in step with the Spirit.

You ever called a friend, family member or spouse and asked them what they were doing? More times than not, their response is, “Nothing.” I know a lot of times to get out of lengthy conversations with my wife, when she asked what I did on a particular day, I would respond with, “Nothing.”

Truth is, doing “nothing” is impossible.

Even in the middle of us doing “nothing,” some type of action is occurring, whether it be a productive action or a consumptive action. So for believers, “Nothing is impossible to those who believe” takes on a whole new meaning. As believers, we are called to always take an informed productive stance, literally making it impossible for us to do “nothing.”

Taking action not only implicates our spiritual well-being, but our physical and mental well-being as well. We are spirit, soul and body. You can’t take one without the other, and when our physical well-being is in jeopardy, it affects our spiritual and mental well-being.

When we take a consumptive action or an uninformed productive action related to our physical health, we don’t understand the deterioration that takes place internally until it manifests externally. Diseases that come against our bodies, particularly those that cause COVID-19 to take a deadly course, are internally damaging before any outward manifestation occurs. Heart disease, hypertension, Type 2 diabetes, and obesity are the main antagonists that lead to a worsened or deadly course of COVID-19.

Before COVID-19, people were able to live long lives after being diagnosed with these other diseases by being medicated but having no understanding of the internal deterioration that had taken place. But it’s not the disease

itself that causes the deterioration — it’s the consumptive action. It’s the years of inactivity coupled with improper nutrition that leads to insulin resistance, which in turn leads to the development of one if not all of these metabolic diseases, which then manifests externally in how we act (physical slowness) and look (weight gain). Insulin resistance is a result of consuming more energy than we produce.

The reason COVID-19 is so deadly is because, when introduced to an already compromised immune system, it could potentially bypass deterioration and shut down the body altogether. With so many people in the United States having a metabolic disease diagnosis, COVID-19 places us in a state of emergency — but during this pandemic, I still can’t help but see the grace of God at work, given how humanity is still unaware of their disobedience and hiding their nakedness. We still don’t see our consumptive approach to our bodies as disobedience to God our Creator. We must change our perspective to what God sees. As goes the body, so go the soul and spirit. Y Chris Fields is the founder and executive director of H.E.A.L. Mississippi and a graduate in kinesiology with advance studies in nutrition. He serves as a clinical exercise physiologist/CPT and is credentialed in Exercise Is Medicine through American College of Sports Medicine.

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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➺mission mississippi moments

by EMILY HARDIN

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

On homework and humility

T

his past spring, our son’s history teacher

tasked students with interviewing an adult about a time they experienced racism.

My husband’s reaction was to call Mission Mississippi President Neddie Winters. (You know you’re living a good life when you get to call Neddie Winters for homework help!)

Thanks to an ever-deepening relationship with Neddie through Mission Mississippi, Van knew what a transformative experience this would be for our son. Van and Asher buckled down to prepare for the big phone call. Our nervous 9-year-old dialed Neddie’s number, asked his interview questions, then listened with rapt attention and took notes as Mr. Winters detailed a vulnerable story of racism from his lived experience.

Neddie Winters became part of our village that day. Our son has referenced their conversation multiple times since then, each time with great passion. Neddie taught our son lessons we could not have taught him. As parents, we are so thankful for our village. We are better together. We believe that is God’s design for humanity — to live interconnected and dependent on one another.

Today we find ourselves at the intersection of a global pandemic and a racial justice awakening. The pain is deep. People are not okay. And the world is watching. How will the church respond? We stand at a crossroads, with the opportunity of a lifetime to join God in bringing His kingdom here to Earth. Will we give in to fear and fighting? Or will we band together to usher in the kingdom through love? Failure to do so is causing us to lose our credible witness to this weary world. And that, my friends, must compel us to lament and repent.

We live in the “already” of the kingdom of God thanks to the finished work of Christ and the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit, yet we await the “not yet” of the kingdom when all things will be made right — when all things will be restored to shalom. This means that all is not yet made right.

There are matters here under heaven that must be dealt with for the glory of God and the good of His creation.

We are quick to teach that, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1), but will we let this truth penetrate our hearts and move us to embrace the work God is drawing us into today?

Are we willing to surrender our certainty, compromise our comfort, and lock arms in solidarity as brothers and sisters on a mission to

Mission Mississippi President Neddie Winters, standing, with Emily and Asher Hardin.

woo the world back to our good, good God? This month, I found myself in a conversation where I landed in a different place on a political issue than the other person. It was disorienting and frustrating for both of us. I was 100 percent convinced that I was right, and he was 100 percent convinced that he was right. It would have been all too easy to move on and brush off the tough conversation. However, my friend is a wise and obedient follower of Christ. The next day, he brought me into a Mission Mississippi Zoom call because he wanted to hear my thoughts. He then confessed to those on the call the conviction he experienced after our conversation, and publicly apologized to me for his treatment of me. I was speechless.

In order for us to be effective kingdombuilders, we must come together. We must change together. This will require humility like my friend displayed on that Zoom call, and generosity to teach one another, like Neddie Winters displayed for my son.

The weary and wounded world is watching.

May we be the first to listen, to repent, to forgive, to sacrifice, and to embrace! These countercultural rhythms fueled by the power of God will be a holy balm to our watching world. #changetogether! Y Emily is still really glad she is the girl who got to marry Van Hardin. She is the mom of three hilarious and tenderhearted boys and the director of Red Door Jackson, a faith-based nonprofit that works with students and families in the metro area.

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➺lagniappe submitted by CAPITAL ORTHO

4 ways exercise improves your mental health

I

t’s no secret that inactivity can create a vicious cycle in one’s life. While leading a

sedentary lifestyle will undoubtedly have a negative effect on your physical health, it can also have a negative effect on your mental health.

“Often there is a direct correlation between physical and mental health. As an orthopedist, we deal directly with many of these aspects of our patients’ well-being,” said Dr. Tal Hendrix, an orthopedic surgeon at Capital Ortho who specializes in sports medicine and shoulder reconstruction.

“Many times, regular exercise is key not only to reducing cardiovascular risks, building strong bones and muscles, and reducing agerelated injuries, but also for mental health.

Regular exercise is a great way to relieve stress (and) anxiety and help battle depression.”

HOW CAN EXERCISE BOOST YOUR MENTAL HEALTH?

◼

◼

◼

◼

Generating more social interaction Physical activity will force you out of your comfort zone and into social situations that you might typically try to avoid. Whether it’s saying hello to a neighbor while walking the dog, or meeting new friends in an exercise class, connecting with others will improve your mood.

Chances are, you are already aware of the many benefits of exercise but are wondering where to start and, more importantly, how to stay motivated. Here are some tips:

◼

Releasing feel-good chemicals in your brain Endorphins are one of many neurotransmitters released when you exercise.

Physical activity also stimulates the release of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin.

All of these chemicals play an important role in regulating your mood.

Creating a distraction When you put energy into moving your body, it relaxes your mind and allows you to focus on something other than negative thoughts or worries that could be feeding your depression or anxiety.

Gaining confidence Meeting exercise goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost self-confidence and create a sense of accomplishment. Regular exercise can also make you feel better about your physical appearance.

◼

Identify what you enjoy doing.

For some, it may be a walk or run around the neighborhood. For others, you might prefer meeting up with friends at a gym or exercise class. Think outside the box, too!

Playing basketball in the driveway or riding bikes with your children is great exercise and a great way to create fun family memories and instill healthy physical habits in your children. Find what you enjoy doing, and begin incorporating that into your daily routine. You’re much more likely to stick with it if it makes you smile.

Set attainable goals.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself!

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◼

Think about realistic goals you would like to achieve. That will look different for each person. A goal for you may be to walk for 30 minutes, three days a week. Others may decide to take up a new sport or train for a 5K. Don’t think of exercise as a chore.

If physical activity is simply another to-do on your already long to-do list, it’s unlikely that you will want to stick with it. Try thinking of exercise as a useful tool that can help improve your mood and boost your energy.

Consider it a lifestyle change.

When you find what you enjoy doing and are realistic about your goals, be prepared for setbacks along the way. Life gets busy and the best intentions sometimes get interrupted, so if you miss several days or get off track, it’s okay to pick right back up where you left off. Just keep moving!

In addition to the physical benefits of regular exercise, it can also create short-term and long-term psychological benefits like improving your mental health, improving your mood, and reducing anxiety. Even when exercise is the last thing you feel like doing, making time to move a little more each day can turn into a beneficial habit in more ways than one! Y Dr. Tal Hendrix is a sports medicine and shoulder reconstruction specialist at Capital Ortho.

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Do you see a LEADER when you look in the mirror?

HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS: Share your story of faith and leadership for a chance to re-

ceive a scholarship toward college tuition. Applications and instructions are available at MSChristianLiving.com or through school counselors. Application deadline: November 13.

Mississippi Christian Living, in partnership with Belhaven University, will honor our 13th class of Christian Leaders of the Future at an afternoon event on Belhaven’s campus on March 2, 2021. Two interactive back-to-back workshops will be followed by a reception, keynote speaker presentation, and awarding of two $1,000 scholarships.

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For more information, email Suzanne Durfey at suzanne@mschristianliving.com or email katie@mschristianliving.com 18

SEPTEMBER 2020 â?˜ Mississippi Christian Living

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article could trigger traumatic emotions and memories, whether you have struggled with suicidal thoughts or love someone who has. Use prayerful discretion.

Betsy Primos

and other mothers find hope after losing sons to suicide

by KATIE EUBANKS

SCRIPTURES THAT HAVE HELPED MOTHERS HEAL Betsy: Isaiah 49:16 – “I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

STEGALL IMAGERY

Kysia: Psalm 23 – “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want … “; and Matthew 8:25-26 (KJV) – “And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.

And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.”

Janet: 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”; and 2 Timothy 1:7 – “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2020 19

STEGALL IMAGERY

Truett

“Truett was a live wire from the time he was born,” says his mother, Betsy Primos, sitting in a rocker on the front porch of the family cabin in Flora. “His little mind wouldn’t slow down” long enough for schoolwork, she says.

“He was a good, good, good boy. He was a At 10 years old, Truett gave his life to Jesus, though like kindhearted man. That’s what I want people to most believers, he questioned things as he got older. He remember,” said Betsy Primos of her son Truett. grew into a kindhearted man who once picked up a stranger at Krispy Kreme, drove him home, and only told his momma about it afterward. were called due to general disturbance, and “He said, ‘Mom, he was fine. You worry too much. That’s Betsy was notified, so she ran over. what I was supposed to do,’ ” Betsy recalls.

She was just in time to see her 22-year-old Truett Primos with his dog, Rex. Truett loved to hunt, fish, socialize, and especially spend son shoot himself. time with his brother, Houston, who was only 18 months She can only imagine he did it because he older. Truett always had to be surrounded by people, which speaks to thought he’d be arrested. Because he didn’t want to disappoint the family. some anxiety. But Betsy never knew about any deep emotional struggles he had.

Speaking out That’s especially weird since “I talked to Truett Primos till 2 or 3 in Not six months before Truett’s suicide, Betsy finally acted on a the morning two or three nights a week (when he was at Ole Miss),” conviction, one she’d felt for several years, that God wanted her to be she says. “He would just call me and talk about this, that or the other.” baptized. She’s glad she did it. She thinks it better prepared her to Once, he called and asked her to get him a pocket Bible, and gave walk with God in her grief. her exact dimensions.

“God will get you through it,” she says. “I feel like God has given But he made mistakes. He fought alcohol more than Betsy knew. me a life to live even after Truett.”

Someone took a video of him drunk at a bar in Oxford, and the The memory of Truett himself also has helped. footage wound up on a national website.

“I cry about every night,” she says. “The first thing I felt like doing “That affected him till the day he died,” Betsy says. “He (told me), ‘I was getting in bed and not coming out … But I just kept thinking, shouldn’t have been drunk. But I don’t understand why this would’ve ‘Truett wouldn’t want me sitting around in a depressed state.’ ” been sent out all over the place.’ ” A couple weeks after Truett’s suicide, Betsy went back to work at Betsy and her husband, Houston Sr., took Truett out of the Meadowbrook Preschool in Jackson. When asked about the school, University of Mississippi after two years, after finding he’d become her face lights up with a smile: addicted to prescription Xanax. After completing rehab, he came “Preschool has saved me in so many ways,” she says. “I do get home and started working for B&B Electrical and Utility Contractors. emotional about my coworkers, because they have been there for me On October 6, 2017, Truett seemed like his normal carefree self as from day one. The first two people I saw at my house (after Truett’s he failed to get ready in a timely manner for a rehearsal dinner. At the death) were two girls I worked with.” dinner, he made people laugh.

The kiddos themselves help heal the soul, too.

Later that night, Truett went to a party and got drunk. The cops “To have a child on my lap … and to hear the little songs they sing

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From left, Truett and Houston Primos.

From left, Houston and Truett Primos. The two brothers were only 18 months apart and planned to raise their children together in the future, Betsy said.

From left, Houston Jr., Houston Sr., and Truett Primos.

(is so special). I’m a hugger, so it’s going to be hard knowing I can’t hug them (due to COVID-19),” she says.

“It’s probably one of the five biggest blessings in my life, to go into that school.”

She hopes to go into other schools — ones with older kids — to talk about suicide, maybe next year. She’s already been asked, but she wants to be able to do it without crying. For now, “Facebook is my main platform,” she says.

In God’s timing, she’ll keep speaking out, thanks to His presence and “an unbelievable support group,” she says, including not only her colleagues but her mother, “big Houston” and “little Houston,” faithful friends, and other mothers who’ve lost children to suicide.

“There is just an instant bond when you meet someone who’s lost a child.” Y

Truett loved to hunt and fish, and would introduce anyone he could to the great outdoors.

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Zeremiah

Kysia Owens smiles when talking about her son Zeremiah.

Even when remembering his dark times.

“I think about the goodness of him, and he smiles through me,” she says.

Before he was born, Kysia herself struggled with suicidal ideation for 20 years, though she never made an attempt.

“I was having some of those thoughts, and then I got pregnant and thought, ‘I can’t abandon my child.’ Then I was having the thoughts again, and I got pregnant again,” she says.

Zeremiah, the younger of her two sons, started experiencing depression and anxiety at 14 or 15 years old.

“He liked to stay isolated. He took the TV out of his room.

He didn’t care to have lights on. He would engage when we did things as a family, but if you allowed him to stay to himself, he would,” Kysia says.

She put him in therapy, got him on medication. Talked to him.

“It was a regular conversation for us,” she says. Starting at age 15, he attempted suicide five times before succeeding on the sixth. He’d go maybe a few weeks, or a few months, but never a year without things getting bad.

But Zeremiah also had strong faith in God, Kysia says. He could quote scripture, even though a reading disability kept him from reading the Bible well. He attended church with the family on Sundays, and with his grandmother on Wednesday nights.

He prayed about his desire to leave this world, Kysia says.

“He’d pray, ‘Lord, I’m ready to come home. This is just a traveling place.’ It was mostly when we were getting ready for bed,” she says. “It happened very frequently in the last year (before his death), maybe 10 times.

“The first time, I just overheard it ... We had a conversation about it. Then I would listen. You know how you listen at (your kids’) doors.”

Kysia knew she was doing everything in her power, but she also knew it might not work. She would ask God to heal Zeremiah, whether in this life or the next. And she would say, “If You allow him to come home, help me not to cry every day, but to help someone else.”

Zeremiah graduated high school and enrolled at Hinds Community College in Pearl to study video and photography.

He was visually talented and loved taking pictures, Kysia says.

In the year before his death, Kysia — who works at Jackson Public Schools — started taking calls at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. This helped her further understand her son.

The week before Zeremiah’s freshman year ended, on April 6, 2018, Kysia was in her car on her lunch break when her mother called.

“When she kept saying, ‘the tree, the tree,’ I knew,” Kysia

Kysia Owens and her son Zeremiah, then 19, at a Christmas event in 2016, about a year and a half before he died. Since he started attempting suicide at 15, she never knew whether a family outing would be his last.

recalls. Zeremiah had hung himself from his favorite tree in his grandmother’s backyard. Kysia and her sons lived next-door to her mother at the time. Zeremiah had waited until all the family left.

He was 20 years old.

Helping others Kysia never got angry with God over Zeremiah, she says.

“One, I know God makes no mistakes,” she says. “I knew my baby was in pain (and) I knew God would take better care of him than I could, in the state of mind he was in.”

She’s never been “big on therapy” for herself, she says, but she went to therapy after Zeremiah’s death. What helps her most, though, is having a purpose. She still works for the national hotline, usually about three days a week.

“Some people call if they just need to vent. Some people just need to hear another human voice. Some people have their own answers to their questions, but they need to verbalize it,” she says.

“The struggle for most people is finding their purpose, their push. When I talk to people on the phone, we try to find their

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Kysia with her older son, Zaccheaus, who tried to save his brother after discovering Zeremiah had hung himself.

“I think about the goodness of him, and he smiles through me,” Kysia says when people remark about how much she smiles when speaking of Zeremiah.

Kysia, left, with her mother, who took Zeremiah to church on Wednesday nights.

goals,” she says. “When I hear people say, ‘I’m going to keep pushing,’ that motivates me to keep going, and it helps me continue to heal.

“I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through.”

She’s even started an organization called Branches of Faith: Zeremiah’s Safe Haven, and is pursuing her master’s in social work in order to open a foster home in his honor.

“He was always so helpful. He loved helping people,” she says. “I’m finishing what he started.”

Kysia also shares her story as an executive board member for the organization Self-Discovery: Pain, Positioning and Purpose (SDPPP), and in the book “The Voices Behind Mental Illness: Destigmatizing the Myths,” edited by SDPPP Executive Director Venessa D. Abram. The book is available on Amazon. Y

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: 1-800-273-8255 mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2020 23

Ben

Janet Ingram went to high school with Betsy Primos. Less than three months before Truett Primos committed suicide, Janet’s son Ben (who didn’t know Truett) did the same.

“Ben was always such a happy kid,” Janet says — until ninth grade.

As a child, Ben wanted to be a preacher at one point. Later, when Janet visited her kids as adults — twin sons Ben and Lee, and daughter Liles — they still had the Bible-verse magnets she’d gotten them. Even in Ben’s suicide note, he wrote about having seen a vision of the Trinity. She firmly believes he’s in heaven.

Ben and Lee (see sidebar on next page) were often “cut-ups,” Janet says. As teens, they accidentally pulled away from a gas pump with the nozzle in their tank. Gasoline went everywhere, as the station didn’t have automatic shutoffs. The fire department came and sprayed white foam all over. Ben called and texted friends to come see.

“Ben was hilarious when he was feeling good,” Janet says.

When he started experiencing anxiety and depression, “I kept thinking, ‘Ben is going to grow out of this. He’s just hormonal.’ ” He started seeing a therapist. In college, he got on Zoloft, which seemed to help, but only to a degree.

Three years before his suicide, a tearful Ben told Janet, “I’m just so lonely,” and begged to get a dog.

Janet believes Charlotte the mutt saved Ben’s life for the next three years.

The summer after Ben graduated from Ole Miss, he emailed a suicide note. Later, he verbally told his parents and Lee on separate occasions that he wanted to kill himself.

“We were not equipped to know what to say (when he brought it up),” beyond begging him not to do it, Janet says.

After sending the note, Ben tried twice to hang himself. The first time, the belt broke. The second time, he stopped the process after hearing God say, “Stay.”

In Ben’s final months, he seemed better. On a Tuesday, Janet invited him to lunch with her and her niece and nephew. When she

From left, Ben, Liles, Reed, Janet and Lee Ingram in the Grove at Ole Miss.

Ben, left, and Lee loved playing dress-up as kids, and received lots of costumes as birthday gifts, since their September birthdays were so close to Halloween.

saw Ben having a staring contest with her nephew, and sneaking bites of the kids’ desserts, she felt she could stop worrying. Ben was happy.

He was going to start a new job the following Monday, and then visit his sister in Texas that next weekend.

“When we left (lunch), Ben gave me a big hug and said, ‘I love you, Mom.’ ”

Ben and Janet Ingram at the beach.

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

HOW TO RESPOND: A brother’s perspective

Ben’s rescue mutt, Charlotte, probably saved his life for an additional three years, said Janet Ingram.

Four days later, on July 22, 2017, Janet was helping decorate for a wedding reception when her phone rang. Her husband, Reed, was “inconsolable,” she says. Ben had hung himself using Charlotte’s leash, two months shy of his 24th birthday.

Now Janet knows why Ben was so happy earlier that week. “He knew he was going to get out of his misery and go be with the Lord.”

Finding hope Janet watched the video of Ben’s funeral every day for over a month.

Then a friend invited her to a worship service. At one point a woman in the congregation raised her hand and said, “I hear crickets.

I’m hearing them, and I’m visualizing them. I don’t know why.”

Janet knew why. Ben had been working at a cricket farm when he died. That sign — and that service, full of praise and worship, prayer, and teaching — was exactly what she needed.

Other friends, neighbors and family loved on Janet and prayed for her, which was especially powerful since “all I could get out was, ‘Jesus, help me.’ ” None of those things cured her grief.

“I’ve honestly just prayed for God to take me,” she says. “I wondered how God was going to use me now. How was I going to move forward without my son?”

But eventually, through time spent with other believers, her dogs (including Charlotte, whom she adopted), and especially the Lord, Janet started to heal.

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be,” Janet reads from Psalm 139:16b. Even though God doesn’t want anyone to commit suicide, He still ordained Ben’s days.

One possible reason God allowed Ben to leave, she says, was so others could see that suicide is not the way out. Also, she wants those who’ve lost loved ones to suicide to find hope in Jesus.

“Your life will never be the same, but God will reveal His love in ways you’d never see otherwise. He will be with you in your suffering.” Y

Lee Ingram, right, didn’t know how to react when his twin brother, Ben, said he wanted to kill himself. Since’s Ben’s death, Lee has worked to raise awareness around suicide.

L

ee Ingram was angry when his twin brother, Ben (see main story), said he wanted to kill himself.

“I regret how I responded to it,” Lee says. “I had the openness for him to tell me, but that openness kind of closed right after that.

“He was an emotional wreck. I’ve never seen someone that emotional in my whole life. He just wailed. … I didn’t know what to do.”

Lee stayed with Ben as long as he could, but eventually left and spent the night elsewhere, just to get away from the conversation.

Before Lee left, Ben said he was “fine” and only needed to get it off his chest. The following year, he took his life.

Lee doesn’t blame himself. He doesn’t necessarily think he could have prevented Ben’s death. But if someone you love says they want to kill themselves, Lee has learned some better ways to respond: “Just kind of chill and listen. Because it took everything (Ben) had to actually just say it. (Just) listen and be silent. And be prepared to hear (stuff) that you’re going to be a little scared by. (Being suicidal is) not a normal way to think.

“It’s so difficult to pay attention and just (shut up) and listen to someone else. Not interject, not think about what you’re going to say next,” Lee says. “When people are suicidal, that’s really all they need is for someone to actually hear them — without getting scared, without saying, ‘You should just quit being depressed.’”

Besides staying close with friends who knew Ben, the biggest things that have helped Lee through his grief are projects to honor his brother and raise suicide awareness.

• See Lee’s recent musical covers for Ben and suicide awareness: GrooveGinger.com

• Buy a book of Ben’s short stories that Lee published, with proceeds going to the Benson Reed Ingram Scholarship Fund at the University of Mississippi Foundation: DreamsAboutFood.com Y

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ADDICTION AND MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES

National Recovery Month is an international observance held every September that celebrates the millions of people in recovery from mental health and substance use issues, reminding us that behavioral health is an essential component to overall health, and that prevention works, treatment is effective, and people can and do recover.

Recovery Month also serves to help reduce the stigma and misconceptions that cloud public understanding of mental and substance use disorders, potentially discouraging others from seeking help.

Alcoholics Anonymous aa.org Al-Anon Family Groups al-anon.org DEA Get Smart About Drugs getsmartaboutdrugs.gov Gamblers Anonymous gamblersanonymous.org

The process of recovery often occurs via intersecting pathways that can include evidence-based, medicatedassisted treatment, faith-based approaches, recovery support services, and family support. Because every person’s path to recovery is unique, it is important to provide individualized treatment approaches and a collective community-wide effort.

Narcotics Anonymous na.org

Here are just a few resources that can help. This list is by no means exhaustive!

National Alliance on Mental Illness nami.org

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism niaaa.nih.gov National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) drugabuse.gov Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) samhsa.gov Suicide Prevention 1.800.273.8255 suicidepreventionlifeline.org

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ADDICTION AND MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES

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You can join us from your office, home, or wherever you are — just join us! Webinars are conducted through a password-protected ZOOM webinar platform you register to use, last only 30 minutes, and they’re FREE. For webinar topics and registration, visit msnurses.org/resources/news.

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➺feature

by SARAH MCLAUGHLIN

Daniel with his kids, from left, Tatiana, Abraham and Kaniela.

How Mississippian Daniel Awabdy went from inmate to ministry leader

S

ome Christians may not remember the exact moment they came to Christ. Maybe they grew up in a

Daniel speaks at CityHeart Church in Jackson.

28

SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Christian household or accepted Christ at a young age — yet all they know is that they’re walking with Christ now. For others, the moment Christ changed their life was defining — and they can remember it clearly and distinctly.

That’s how it was for Daniel Awabdy, founder of CareCenter Ministries Jackson, who clearly remembers the moment Christ reached into his life and began working in him.

Daniel grew up in Madison. At 16, his life took a dramatic turn when he started using drugs. Over the next few years, Daniel found himself in broken relationships with his family and friends, and his addiction led to criminal activity and a life of difficulty. Before Daniel was saved, he had been in jail in Nebraska, Texas and Mississippi — and at every turn, Daniel found himself with nothing.

“I tried everything a logical man would — I tried to relocate and change my life, but it never happened until I gave my life to Christ. That’s where the whole transformation took place.”

The story of his transformation began at Overcomers, a Christ-centered 12-step meeting, at CareCenter Ministries in Dallas. CareCenter seeks to rescue the least, the lost and the lonely through Christ-centered programming.

At the meeting, one of the leaders approached Daniel. The leader said that God had spoken to him, and that God had a special plan and purpose for Daniel’s life. As the leader prayed for him, Daniel felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. Even though he was in prison, he held on to the leader’s words — waiting and believing them to be true.

Over a year later, Daniel was sent from a prison in Texas to one in Hinds County, Mississippi. As Daniel was sent back to Mississippi, he was given 11 new charges and a habitual offender order, which meant he

A prayer circle forms at a Soul Snatchers outreach in Dallas — the city where Daniel was told, God has a special plan for your life.

was likely going to be sentenced for life. His days became dark, lonely and void. He had no one — his family gave up any hope for his situation, his friends abandoned him — there was no one left for him to reach out to. In many ways, Daniel could have said with the psalmist, “You have caused my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness” (Psalm 88:18, ESV).

Alone in his cell, Daniel came to the end of himself. He had nothing left. He was broken and crying, wondering how his choices led him here. It was in that moment, as he thought about his life and the uncertainty ahead, that he saw a Bible in his cell. Daniel vividly

remembers this moment: “I reached for the Bible, and the Lord said to me, ‘Daniel, I love you.’ It wasn’t about any of my mistakes, or any of the sin that I’d committed.”

In that moment, alone with the Lord, Daniel’s life changed forever.

By God’s providence, Daniel ended up back in Dallas and became involved in CareCenter Ministry’s RACE Program.

“RACE” stands for “run as Christ endured” and is a one-year program which helps free men of addiction on the basis of Christian discipleship. The first six months focus on life skills, biblical principles, and having a real relationship with Christ. After that, participants

can either go into the workforce or enroll in a two-year program with CareCenter’s Academy for Inner-City Missions.

It was in the RACE Program that Daniel learned about Christ’s faithfulness, the importance of submitting to authority, and his true identity in Christ. The program was so impactful for him because, as he remembers, “Not only are you getting taught all these things, you’re walking them out. That was the biggest thing for me — I was getting taught and shown all these things, and there were people walking them out alongside me.”

Daniel also points to Pastor Eldred Sawyer and his wife, Jeanmarie, who started

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Daniel, bottom right, spent time with Rankin County inmates through CareCenter Ministries at the invitation of chaplains Aubrey and Debbie Pridgen, kneeling.

CareCenter Ministries in Dallas over 34 years ago. “They walked through the same things I did,” Daniel says. “They were my examples, and I’m extremely grateful for the path they laid out for my life.”

Daniel was surrounded and taught by people who’d suffered from addictions like he had, and he remembers how powerful it was to be with people who not only loved Christ but who were fighting to live by Christian

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principles. With the power of the gospel and the impact of the program, Daniel was freed from his addictions.

In the second month of the RACE Program, Daniel remembers being in worship one morning and hearing God say, “CareCenter Ministries Mississippi.” At the time, Daniel was unsure: What did God mean? How would he get back to Mississippi? In the midst of his questions, the Lord spoke to him again: “CareCenter Ministries Mississippi — stop asking Me about it, start thanking Me for it.”

And that became the vision and calling over Daniel’s life: to start a ministry in his home state. Even though he had months left in the RACE Program in Dallas, Daniel believed God would fulfill the word He’d given him.

Daniel decided to pursue a degree through CareCenter’s Academy for Inner-City Missions after his first six months in the RACE Program. After working with the Academy for two years, he graduated with a degree in international studies of ministry and a certificate in inner-city missions.

In 2019, Daniel began a branch of CareCenter Ministries in metro Jackson.

Although the Mississippi branch currently has fewer outreach programs than others, Daniel

Daniel grew up in Madison, started doing drugs at 16, and served time in Nebraska, Texas and Mississippi (mugshot screenshots at left and center) before God changed his heart.

is hopeful and expectant for the future. Today, though, the Jackson branch offers the RACE Program and food pantry services to residents in south-central Mississippi. The ministry’s currently looking for a building to purchase so they can start a church, and Daniel is hopeful about providing more opportunities to people in inner-city Jackson.

Currently, Daniel loves being involved in and pioneering the ministry in Jackson, and seeing the hope of the gospel change lives.

The basis of Daniel’s ministry in Jackson is Romans 1:16-17, which says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes … for in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith” (ESV).

Daniel truly believes that it’s only by God’s power and God’s righteousness that anyone can change; it’s the power of the gospel that changes and transforms lives, nothing else. It’s also the only way that CareCenter Ministries has been successful and impactful.

It’s through preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ — His death, burial and resurrection — that Daniel helps free men of addiction. Daniel says that “seeing a person who never knew Christ and who was bound by addiction, seeing them gain life by receiving the gospel gives me hope.”

Yet Daniel doesn’t simply preach the gospel and leave men to walk on their own; he walks alongside them in their addictions, listens to them and helps them. Daniel says he’s always trying to listen and love people, to refrain from

judging them. His hope is that he can hear people’s hearts. Once he hears where someone’s coming from, he shares the gospel with them. But he doesn’t simply share the gospel verbally, he shares it by how he lives.

That isn’t always easy.

Daniel believes the hardest thing in ministry is to continually walk with Christ.

Although it’s the greatest gift to serve in ministry, it’s difficult, he says, to be responsible and accountable. It’s difficult, he says, to stay faithful and secure in Christ so he can help grow and strengthen others.

Despite this difficulty, though, Daniel is encouraged by God’s faithfulness and impact in his life. He says the main thing he’s learned in giving his life to missions is that “God’s still changing lives, and miracles are still taking place.” Daniel sees these miracles happen when men hear the gospel and walk free from their addictions, just like he did. He sees the power of Christ change lives when men begin walking with Christ, just like he did.

Being unashamed of the gospel, living it out and pursuing a relationship with the Lord has strengthened and grown Daniel’s faith in ways he never imagined. While he was in prison, Daniel never expected that coming to the end of himself would be the beginning of freedom from addiction; and he never imagined he would soon be ministering to people in the same place he had been sentenced — yet God used all things for his good, and Daniel is hopefully expectant of all the blessings God has in the future.Y

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➺this is my story

by TRISTYN HOLCOMB

Defying the odds after abuse

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

y name is Tristyn. I am 21 years old

and a sophomore at Jones College, studying to achieve my associate’s degree in Animal Sciences and Breeding Livestock. I work part-time at a gas station and have my own vehicle. I’m not supposed to be going to college or being successful in my life … but I am defying the odds!

I spent almost seven years of my life in foster care. When I was 14, DHS paid me a visit at school one day to find out if I was being emotionally and physically abused. My parents didn’t really fight to keep me. They were okay with the fact I wouldn’t be living with them anymore.

My relationship with my parents is very awkward, especially then, and I was dealing with several serious medical issues. Even though they were abusing me, and I knew it, I still felt as if I needed them and had to protect them from getting in trouble for what they had done to me. I tried to excuse their behavior. I’ve definitely had it tough, so to say.

When I first got into custody, I had several mental evaluations to make sure my mental health was okay. I spent almost two weeks in a short-term facility. This was only the first of many times I would visit these places. I was a very trouble-minded teen due to all the trauma I had been through. I was in and out of mental health facilities and foster homes after I went into custody.

When I finally made it to Methodist Children’s Homes in 2016, things changed immediately.

Yes, it was different and strange to be living in a home with nine other females, all with different personalities and stories — but I was able to feel safe and at home. MCH had activities and plans that would help us fit in and make us feel like we were normal. Being in custody, you always struggle and feel like you’re not like other teens.

When I made it to the group home, I instantly formed a connection with Devon Loggins, who is now the MCH CEO and president. He treated me like I was one of his own children. He talked to me and loved me and gave me advice. The longer I was there, the more connections and relationships I built.

I had people who taught me and made me feel important and like I mattered and was wanted. I never felt that until I made it to MCH. I ended up living at the group home for almost four years. I graduated high school and started college living there, and without their support I couldn’t have accomplished any of it. I learned how to handle my depression and my thoughts and feelings.

Tristyn Holcomb, right, with MCH Director of Development Samantha Kalahar at an MCH event in 2018.

Now I am a successful young adult in my community, and I still have a relationship with those who helped me at MCH. I’m about to graduate college and get my own apartment. I have a boyfriend, and we are happy. I am not another statistic!

I find it easier to deal with my past the more I share my story. I want kids and teens in bad situations or in foster care to know that you are important. Don’t let what happened to you in your past mess up what’s coming to you. Yes, I know it’s tough now … Believe me, I’ve been there and got the T-shirt. I promise it will get better. You will have a normal life. You will succeed as long as you don’t allow your past to keep you from doing so. You are strong and have your own story to tell.

Be thankful and grateful for the opportunity to have people who will care and love you. You deserve it. Let them love you and care for you.

I know I’d give anything sometimes to go back and have them take care of me. Let them help you prepare for the world that is to come.

Being an adult is hard. Responsibilities hit you hard and fast — they don’t wait for you to be ready. I pray for each and every one of you to have a successful life, and I want you to know you are stronger than you think. The Lord loves you more than you will ever know. Keep your head up! Y Tristyn Holcomb is 21 years old. She spent six years in the foster care system. She is now a student at Jones College and living her life to the fullest.

If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:

✝ THE PROBLEM

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).

✝ THE SOLUTION

…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!

✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9

✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?

Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.

✝ THE RESULTS

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17

If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans!

Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith.

If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2020 33

➺the middle ages

by SHERYE S. GREEN

How to be resolute in a world gone mad

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

lthough I don’t remember the specific date when I was saved, I vividly remember the immediate and profound impact that decision made on my life after asking Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior shortly before my 14th birthday.

Coming to faith in Christ was undoubtedly a matter of faith, but it was also a conscious decision I made with my mind to bend the knee of my will, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams and my affections to Jesus’ leadership.

Time and time again throughout the past 47 years, I’ve had to keep returning to that same secure posture of submission. Too often I looked up to find I was once again living life on my terms, standing on my wobbly legs of arrogance, self-determination and selfishness.

While reading through the gospel of Luke recently, I came upon a verse that had never before caught my eye: “And it came about when the days were approaching for His ascension, that He resolutely set His face to go to Jerusalem” (Luke 9:51, NASB).

The word resolutely seemed to jump off the page right into my heart. This adverb, which according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary means “with great effort or determination,” intimated to me that Jesus decided what to do based on love for and obedience to His Father, not based on His foreknowledge of what would occur once making the journey. This verse in Luke occurs perhaps a few days before Jesus enters Jerusalem for the last time.

The world is now almost 10 months into the COVID-19 pandemic. The Centers for Disease Control reports that the first case occurred in December 2019 in a patient in Wuhan, China. One month later, the organization released a press report detailing the “first case of 2019 Novel Coronavirus … in the United States.” None of our lives has been the same since.

As if the threat from this deadly disease were not enough, it seems as if many in my beloved America have lost their collective minds, as more and more incidents of unrest and accounts of hate-filled speech have sprung up across the country. As Christians, what are we to do?

I believe we as believers can make a difference in this broken, hurting world by determining that we will let our lives be

candles, as it were, shining God’s light and love out into the darkness around us. To do this, we must center our minds on God’s Word. Paul wrote to first-century Christians in the city of Philippi and encouraged them to focus their minds on thoughts that contained eight attributes — true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8, NASB).

Many days I find myself readily identifying with the words of 18th-century British pastor Robert Robinson: “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it / Prone to leave the God I love.” From the third stanza of the great hymn “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” these phrases remind me of my tendency to stray mentally from the Lord.

The Bible, God’s love letter penned to me and every other believer, contains the words that will anchor me securely to His path. Paul ends the verse in Philippians with this instruction: “Let your mind dwell on these things.” The Amplified version states it this way: “Center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart.” The word implant means “to fix or set securely or deeply.” By drinking deeply of scripture and meditating on what God has to say to us, we will set His anchor points deep within our souls.

Living life by faith in Christ involves employing our hearts, our emotions, and developing and exercising a resolute mind.

When questioned by a Pharisaic skeptic about which was the greatest commandment, Jesus reminded the man of spiritual advice first given to the nation of Israel by God’s servant, Moses: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37, NASB).

In these troubled times, take heart that Jesus, too, faced difficult circumstances and made the decision to center His mind on God. He followed His Father with all He had — heart, soul, and mind. If Jesus did it, it must be possible. May He give each of us a resolute mind. Y

Sherye S. Green is a Jacksonian and a wife, mother and grandmother. Sherye and her husband, Mark, are members of First Baptist Jackson. She is also the author of Abandon Not My Soul and Tending the Garden of My Heart.

tough questions

by BRENNA WEAVER

➺

Attorney Job: The Adventures of a Great Lawyer!

“A Masterpiece in Jurisprudence!”

How to love across the aisle QUESTION: With the presidential election coming up, how do I love my family members of a different political party well?

ANSWER: Election season can be a trying time. The influx of political news stories, commercials, mass mailings, neighborhood canvasses, and social media posts can feel overwhelming. There are those who find political discourse energizing and can engage with it well; however, for others, politics can be extremely divisive and cause major rifts.

For years, etiquette experts have cautioned against speaking about politics in social circles, but family is a different circle, typically with separate rules. As one grows and individuates, he or she may develop views which do not align with grandparents, parents and even siblings. One also may marry into a family with contrasting political outlooks. So how do you love family members of different political parties well?

First, it is important to remember that no political party perfectly upholds Christian values or has a true biblical worldview; it is a man-made system, after all. While many aim to vote their values or conscience, that looks different for each individual. The environmental policies that you hold dear may not mean as much to your uncle; he might place a higher value on social policies, and that is okay.

“Implementing healthy It may be beneficial to view these differences as different parts of the same body. 1 Corinthians parameters around 12:12 tells us, “the body is a unit, though it is political conversations made up of many parts; and though all its parts at the beginning could are many, they form one body.” The body of Christ is diverse, and it makes sense that the help so you each feel diversity stretches across political party lines. heard and understood.”

Have you considered what makes it difficult for you to love your family members well? If the person presents his or her opinion as fact, talks over you, or criticizes your stance, it is easy to see how that can create feelings of anger and frustration. Implementing healthy parameters around political conversations at the beginning could help so you each feel heard and understood.

Also, is it possible that you are judging them harshly based solely on their political affiliation? Taking a step back to reflect on why you feel the way you do with this person can expose any underlying issues of pride (my party is the right party), wrath (she’s broken family tradition by switching parties and that makes me angry), or something else. While political leanings are deeply personal and can cause discord, I am reminded of Titus 3:9, “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.”

We are called to be responsible citizens and to participate in society at large. Elected officials have power to shape policies and make laws which have lasting affects for years, good and bad. Ultimately, whoever is in office is there because it was ordained by God. Romans 13:1 clearly shows, “there is no authority except that which God has established.”

To love well, try setting boundaries, examining your heart, avoiding quarrels, and remembering God is on the throne. Y

No other set of books, except the Bible, will prepare the reader for an abundant life NOW and for a glorious ETERNITY better than Attorney Job, Hallelujah, Love & War and The Sound of Glorious Marriage Music. These books can be reviewed and purchased at amazon.com. Select Books and type in “by Joe Ragland.”

ATTY JOE RAGLAND, J.D., LL.M., LL.D. Personal Injury Trial Attorney/Workplace Injuries Tel. 601-969-5050 • Info: www.raglandministries.org Click CONTACT to subscribe to Ragland Newsletters

Brenna Weaver is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgeland working with clients 18 years and older. She has experience as a secondary education teacher and children’s therapist. When not working, she enjoys reading, eating good food, and traveling. mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2020 35

➺food for thought recipes by LAURA JANE MONTGOMERY

Lemon-fresh and guilt-free

W

e enlisted the help of our friend Laura Jane Montgomery,

owner and trainer at Fit Revival Studio in Ridgeland, for these three fresh, healthy recipes. If the lemon cookies sound tasty to you, go ahead and grab an extra lemon or two for your red snapper garnish and/or salad dressing. The best news? Laura is also a nutrition coach, so these recipes are guilt-free!

LEMON COOKIES WITH LEMON BUTTERCREAM FROSTING Cookies: 1 Meyer lemon 1 cup almond flour ¼ cup maple syrup

RED SNAPPER ON THE HALF SHELL 1 red snapper fillet 1½ tablespoons Tessemae’s Green Goddess dressing (or similar) 1 tablespoon Chef Paul Prudhomme’s Seafood Seasoning (or similar) 1 tablespoon herbes de Provence 2 tablespoons Kerrygold salted butter Olive oil Parsley Lemon Salt Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Lightly oil a large rimmed baking sheet. Rinse the fillet and pat dry. Lay skin side down on baking sheet and brush with 1-2 tablespoons dressing. Season generously with seafood seasoning and herbes de Provence, and top with thin slices of butter. Roast on bottom rack of oven 20 minutes, or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Serve with lemon slices, chopped parsley and salt to taste.

Serves two.

36

SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

LATE-SUMMER SALAD This is more of an inspiration than a recipe! When making a salad, think about variety: color, texture, taste, etc. I simply used items from my refrigerator, pantry and freezer for this nutrient-rich and colorful salad!

Spinach Broccoli sprouts Red cabbage (chopped) Water chestnuts (drained) Sunflower seeds Blueberries (fresh or frozen) Parsley A squeeze of lemon juice with a splash of extra virgin olive oil is all you need to dress the salad. Or use the same dressing from the red snapper dish.

Zest and juice 1 lemon. Combine juice/zest, almond flour and maple syrup, and mix well by hand. Form into a ball and cover with plastic wrap. Place dough in freezer for 10 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Remove dough from the freezer and uncover. Using a small scoop or your hands, form 12 small balls and place on cookie sheet. Press cookies flat with a fork or fingers. Bake 12-15 minutes. Let cookies cool completely.

Frosting: 1 Meyer lemon ¼ cup Kerrygold salted butter, room temperature ½ cup powdered sugar, sifted Mix butter, powdered sugar and freshsqueezed lemon juice (approx. 1/2 tablespoon to start) to make a creamy, spreadable frosting.

Whip until smooth and creamy. (Add more sugar for stiffer frosting, or more lemon juice if too stiff.) Once cookies have cooled, spoon the icing on top. These treats can be enjoyed at room temperature or chilled!

Laura Jane Montgomery is a personal fitness trainer, nutrition coach, and owner of Fit Revival Studio in Ridgeland. You can follow her on Instagram @trainerjane, and follow Fit Revival @fitrevivalstudio.

what’s going on

by JASON GOREE

➺

Food giveaway at New Horizon Rankin

A

long with delivering lifechanging sermons on Sunday mornings, New

Horizon Church Rankin County (NHCRC) has partnered with local businesses to give away boxes of food every two weeks on campus.

The next giveaway is Friday, September 11. If you would like to donate food, please text 601.955.8474 or message us on our New Horizon Church Rankin County Facebook Page.

NHCRC is a campus of New Horizon Church International in south Jackson. Bishop Ronnie Crudup is the senior pastor, and Pastor Jason Goree is the lead campus pastor at our Rankin County campus.

NHCRC is a loving church that’s loving on God, loving on people, and changing communities. We are located at 602 Grants Ferry Road, between Cowboy Maloney’s and the post office in the shopping center.

We can’t wait to begin in-person services again so we can worship and fellowship with you. Y

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➺quips & quotes ✂

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CUT OUT THE SCRIPTURES AND QUOTES AND PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT!

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You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You. ~ ISAIAH 26:3, ESV

When pain is to be born, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all. ~ C.S. Lewis, “The Problem of Pain”

I find no better cure for depression than to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and seek to realize afresh the power of the blood of Jesus, and His infinite love in dying upon the cross to put away all my transgressions. ~ C.H. Spurgeon

Cast all your anxieties on him, because He cares for you. ~ 1 PETER 5:7, ESV

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. ~ JOHN 16:33, ESV

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

What feels like darkness to you is not darkness to God. He’s in the bright light, and he knows how to take care of you. ~ John Piper, “God’s Work in Your Depression”

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The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ PHILIPPIANS 4:5–7, ESV

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Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God. ~ PSALM 42:5, ESV

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And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

~ ROMANS 15:13, ESV

~ GALATIANS 6:9, ESV

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The essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less ...True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness.

~ Tim Keller, “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness”

The first step in emotional control is acknowledging God as God — and not you, not your feelings, not your situation — and giving thanks. Make yourself look for and express gratitude to God. ~ Rachel Jankovic

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For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. ~ 2 CORINTHIANS 10:4, ESV

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SEPTEMBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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