Mississippi Christian Living October 2020

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OCTOBER 2020

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Elbert and Karen McGowan Loving all God’s people at Redeemer Church Recipes to prep and freeze for later Catching up with ‘Voice’ winner Todd Tilghman!

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contents OCTOBER 2020

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Volume 15, Number 4 Publisher MS Christian Living, Inc. Editor Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com Managing Editor Suzanne Durfey Art/Graphic Design Sandra Goff

Todd Tilghman, a Meridian resident and winner of NBC’s “The Voice,” shares a moment with his wife, Brooke. Check out Editor Katie Eubanks’ interview with Todd on page 16.

columns 8 As I See It How to move from ‘hope’ to confidence during turbulent times STEGALL IMAGERY

10 Modern Motherhood

Elbert McGowan Jr. knows he and his wife, Karen, were put in place at Redeemer Church in Jackson for a reason — partly to help the intentionally multiethnic congregation navigate a year of racial division in our country (see page 18).

cover story 18 Elbert and Karen McGowen Loving each other and all God’s people

feature

Ramblings of a tired mama

12 Health & Wellness How to fight fear and anxiety during a pandemic — or anytime

14 Mission Mississippi Moments Why we need to walk through Samaria

15 Christian Commerce A Father’s love shines through ‘A Letter to Marganie’

full circle with REAL Christian Foundation

Chatting with ‘The Voice’ winner Todd Tilghman of Meridian

26 This Is My Story 28 Food for Thought Freezer-friendly recipes for fall

30 Money Matters 5 financial lessons from 2020 and the upcoming election

33 Tough Questions Coming Next Month Demario Davis: Mississippian, New Orleans Saint, Man of God

What do I do about my husband's female friend?

in every issue 6 Editor’s Letter 34 Quips & Quotes 34 Advertiser Index

➺

CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving facebook.com/MSChristianLiving 4

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Contributing Writers Libbo Crosswhite, Dan Hall, Wendy Maxwell, Sarah McLaughlin, Carolyn McLemore, Willette Myrick, Phil Schank, Kurt Vande Streek, Brenna Weaver Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Kathryn Dyksterhouse, Randy Fortenberry, Walton Gresham, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Bob Whatley Mississippi Christian Living 3304 North State Street, Suite 201D Jackson, MS 39216 Phone 601.790.9076

mschristianliving.com

16 Lagniappe

Why socializing at revivals wasn’t wasted time

24 Chanda Roby comes

Sales Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober

Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ.

Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2020 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area and central Mississippi. Subscriptions are $29 a year.

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➺editor’s letter 3 scriptures that show God can be trusted

D

uring my senior year of college, I realized I had never truly trusted in Jesus — and I obsessively questioned Him and His Word in order to figure out whether I could trust Him. At the end of this long, miserable crisis, I gave my life to Christ in June 2010.

About a year and a half later, my questions came back. I was saved, but I eventually felt almost as lost as I had during my senior year.

Then in fall 2013, I started seeing a Christian therapist named Lacy Deese here in metro Jackson. Her professional counsel points me to Christ and the sound mind He’s given me (1 Timothy 1:7).

That’s one reason I’m so excited about our first-ever Fear to Faith Women’s Retreat, coming up October 31 (see info below). I want other believers to find mental freedom in Christ.

God can use a women’s retreat, a therapist, or even medication to help us. However, I recently heard this truth from Dr. Tony Evans: God is the Source, and everything else is just a resource!

Ultimately, our peace and rest come from knowing who God is. He can be trusted — exhale in that!

Here are three scriptures that have helped me on my journey to and with our Source. With each passage, I’ve highlighted God’s promise and how we should respond.

◼”And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.” – 1 John 5:11, ESV John wrote this passage to assure believers of their salvation. But even for unbelievers, this verse shows the gift that salvation is. God gave it.

We didn’t earn it. Anyone who trusts in Christ’s death for their sins is saved (see John 3:16).

His promise: He has given us eternal life in Christ.

Our response: Draw near to God, whether for the first time by trusting in Christ, or for the millionth time as we seek to love and enjoy Him more.

◼ “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony.”

– Revelation 12:11a, KJV Jesus’ blood shed on the cross was the fulfillment of the Old Testament sacrifices for sin — He took care of it once and for all. If we’re covered by His blood through faith in Him, God no longer listens to the devil’s accusations against us.

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

The word of our testimony is also powerful, because it points to what He has done for us — again, particularly in His death and resurrection.

His promise: We overcome the devil, sin, death and hell by the blood of Jesus.

Our response: Remember what Christ has done for us, especially on the cross. Live as though we have victory — because we do!

◼ “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

– Matthew 7:7, KJV In 2010, when I quit following every whim of my obsessive compulsive thoughts, I still couldn’t make the leap of faith to Christ on my own. God had to do it in me. So I asked Him to, and I kept asking. And He answered!

Keep in mind, Jesus is talking about “asking, seeking and knocking” for good things in this passage (see verse 11). Only God defines what’s good for us. But if we ask for what He says is good — like faith, obedience or godly wisdom — He’ll give it to us. Period.

His promise: He provides everything that’s good for us, especially when we ask!

Our response: ASK HIM FOR IT. I pray these scriptures will help you as they’ve helped me, and that your thoughts would be marked by trust in Christ — whatever it takes. Something tells me that’s a good thing, so He will do it!

3 must-reads in this issue ● Our cover story on Elbert and Karen McGowan, pastor and first lady at Redeemer Church, PCA, in Jackson (page 18). ● Our interview with “Voice” winner Todd Tilghman of Meridian (page 16). ● Libbo Crosswhite’s Modern Motherhood column on trusting the slow work of God (page 10).

2 things to know about ● Fear to Faith Women’s Retreat, 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. October 31 at Ridgecrest Baptist Church in Madison and via livestream. Visit bit.ly/fear2faith2020 for tickets and more info. ● Christian Leaders of the Future scholarship program for high-school seniors (see page 32). Y

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com

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➺as i see it

by DAN HALL

How to move from ‘hope’ to confidence during turbulent times

I

was raised in a time when spanking was still considered an appropriate form of discipline. I know the abuses, and I know

what the so-called experts say. I still believe it was a great way to mold my character.

My siblings and I didn’t receive “whoopins” for many things, but when they were administered, they left an impression.

My dad would use a belt, and we would have to lie still and “take it like a man.” (On reflection, I don’t remember my sister ever getting one, just my brothers and me! Maybe that’s where the therapist comes in?)

It was not uncommon for me to race upstairs and try to put on several extra pair of underwear in hopes that it would soften the blow. I also hoped that maybe this time Dad would just want to talk about it, help me see the errors of my ways. Those hopes were rarely realized!

Hope is a strong biblical word, but too often we use it as a fantastical projection of a desired end: I hope I lose weight; I hope my investments grow; I hope my husband notices my haircut. We can all fill in our own sentences.

However, biblical hope is not based on a whimsical fantasy, but on confidence in something that cannot be violated. If I walk off the building, I have confidence I will drop like a rock.

In this season of chaos, uncertainty, pandemic, and political and social upheaval, many of us hope lots of things: We hope our

candidate gets elected; we hope our economy turns around; we hope the Saints can get through the playoffs without an idiot call by the referees. Then we are often sorely disappointed.

“Hope is a strong biblical word, but too often we use it as a fantastical projection of a desired end: I hope I lose weight; I hope my investments grow; I hope my husband notices my haircut.”

Biblical hope is based in confidence. In these times, believers have true hope because it’s built on immovable truth. Let me juxtapose three whimsical HOPES against biblical CONFIDENCE: ● My hope is not in Washington D.C., but my confidence is in a God who has successfully ruled for all of eternity. I don’t know who will be president in January, but I do know who will rule the universe: our Father who directs the heart of the leaders in His hand like a waterway (Proverbs 21:1).

● My hope is not in Wall Street or the American financial system, but my confidence is in a God who owns all things. As demonstrated by the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, our Father will not abandon His children: “I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread” (Psalm 37:25).

● My hope is not in the American “way of life,” but as a child and citizen of heaven, my confidence is in my Father — remember, the One who rules and owns all things — who has committed Himself to finish what He has started in me (Philippians 1:6).

I’m old enough to have experienced great successes and painful failures. If I focus on either one, it produces either arrogance or despair. But when I focus on my Father, His grace lowers the mountains and raises the valleys for His people to walk on level ground.

Let THAT be our confidence in these turbulent times! Y

Dan Hall is an executive and strategic coach to leaders and executive teams. He also works with organizations on team building, conflict resolution and communication skills.

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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➺modern motherhood

by LIBBO CROSSWHITE

Ramblings of a tired mama

I

’ve drummed my fingers over the keyboard three or four times in the last week in an attempt to capture all that I have learned recently. An impossible

task in a year of abundant questions and far fewer answers.

Lately, I find myself as the frantic note-taker of my own life — seeking and, thankfully, resting in the promises God has laid before me. I’m tired. Are you tired? Not like a “shouldn’t have watched that extra episode” tired, but soul-tired. The type of tired that can be remedied only by resting in the Word of God and reminding myself that I don’t have to have everything figured out on this side of heaven.

I keep looking through my notes and ramblings from this season of confusion, and sorting through so many emotions. Isn’t that a beautiful picture of motherhood? I’m reminded of these truths that God has whispered on my heart through scripture and through others: ● We have scripture to show us how the story will end. ● May my prayers be filled with less anxiety (“what if”) and more confidence (“even if”) ● God, bring me hope. Hope is a confident expectation that the future is in God’s hands. Will you trust God? Say “amen” to God with your life, not just your mouth. Why? Because He is faithful, He is with you, and ultimately, He is in control. Stay strong in hope, fall into hope, and rise in hope.

Those are ramblings, but they are Spiritfilled reminders.

I struggled for too long searching for purpose and meaning in my career, my motherhood, and my existence. It wasn’t until I began to seek the Ultimate Source that I began to understand where I could find truth.

My mom printed this poem and left it on my desk on a particularly hard day. The poem is a reminder to trust in the slow work as much as I do in the big moments. It’s been at the core of who I am as a mother this year:

“Patient Trust” Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.

We should like to skip the intermediate stages.

We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.

And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability — and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you; your ideas mature gradually — let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste.

Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.

Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

– Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ (1881-1955)

God is using my son, Russell, to remind me to slow down from the start of my day. Carpool can be an anxiety-ridden time, and I have seen the worst of myself in line, running late and being stubborn about letting others cut in front. How old am I? Twelve years old, at most.

Every morning in the carpool line, Russell takes no less than three minutes to get all of his things together, put his mask on, get out of the car, and pick up whatever he has left behind.

Every morning. Regardless of how loud or frantic me and Mary yell at him. He’s not fazed; he doesn’t see the line of cars behind us; he’s just doing him.

I think God is reminding me each day of the same truth: Slow. Down. Trust Me. I’ve got this.

He reminds us over and over in His word, but never more clearly than in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Freedom in Him. Freedom in the slowness of God’s will. Joy in the unknown. That’s what Christ offers us, and it’s what the world so desperately needs. Y Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary Thomas, who is 6 years old, and a son, Russell, who is 4 years old. She is the high school guidance counselor at MadisonRidgeland Academy and can be emailed at lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.

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➺health &wellness

by WENDY MAXWELL, LCSW

How to fight fear and anxiety during a pandemic — or anytime

I

WENDY MAXWELL COUNSELOR

LC SW

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

write this well ahead of its appearance in Mississippi Christian Living, and I

have no idea what the circumstances of the metro area, our state or our country may be in relation to the COVID-19 pandemic at the time of publication. But one painful truth has been made abundantly clear over the last many months, and is true no matter our circumstances: Whether we are referring to the pandemic or life in general, we have an inability to control much of anything.

Now this is not really news, but we work hard much of the time at thinking we are in charge of circumstances, other people, and much of life.

The truth of our lack of control may understandably bring fear and anxiety. The good news is that while pandemics, other people, and much of day-to-day minutia are out of our control, we can keep the two-headed monster of fear and anxiety from controlling us.

Some basics to start with might seem glaringly obvious, such as limiting your intake of news. As a news junkie myself, I understand the lure, but a 24-hour news cycle is not 24 hours of quality information. Gather relevant information from a qualified source, and then turn it off.

Perhaps turn on a favorite sitcom, exercise, or engage in some other enjoyable activity.

Second, take a break from social media, where everything is amplified. I recently had a client tell me she felt more isolated, anxious and overwhelmed as she spent time reading opinion after opinion that felt quite different from hers on social media. Be aware of how much time you are devoting to social media, and monitor your state of mind associated with your social media usage.

In addition, monitor your self-talk. Whether we realize it or not, we have a running commentary going on in our heads all the time.

What are you telling yourself? How is it affecting your perspective, your self-concept, your relationships? Unhelpful or unhealthy self-talk can run the gamut from someone who has a bad day and thinks, “My life is ruined,” to someone with a pervasive negative focus or outlook who may tell themselves, “I’ll never be good enough.”

Related to the pandemic, self-talk that may exacerbate stress could sound like, “This will never end.” What can be tricky about our selftalk is that we may start with a fact or real event, but the distortions we apply in our thinking may lead us to feel down, overwhelmed, stressed,

anxious and/or depressed. Because there is a nugget of truth at the heart of the distorted, negative self-talk, we may have difficulty identifying it as distorted or negative. This can be challenging to change if your unhealthy or destructive pattern of self-talk is deeply ingrained. You may need to enlist the help and support of a licensed professional if altering your self-talk proves challenging.

Also, let us not forget or underestimate the power of acceptance and thankfulness.

Alcoholics Anonymous uses the concept of acceptance in their program, demonstrated by their use of the Serenity Prayer. It states, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

When I accept the reality of not being in

“Whether we realize it or not, we have a running commentary going on in our heads all the time. What are you telling yourself?” control, that in itself can be a powerful tool to combat anxiety, fear, and even anger.

Acceptance gives us freedom from trying to micromanage the stuff of life that cannot be managed. Thankfulness can be exceedingly helpful as well to reorient one’s focus. Taking the time to name three things you are thankful for on a daily basis can vastly improve mood, outlook and anxiety.

Finally, remind yourself of the most important truth: While we are not in control, it can be well with our soul because our Sovereign God of the universe is in control. Use this truth and prayer to combat anxiety, fear and negative self-talk, to defend against the unknown, and to ground your thoughts. What is eternal can and should be our most powerful tool to combat fear and anxiety. Y Wendy Maxwell, LCSW, is a graduate of the University of Mississippi and The University of Alabama. She has a private counseling practice in Ridgeland focused on treating women and teens with anxiety and depression.

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➺mission mississippi moments

by PHIL SCHANK

Why we need to walk through Samaria

M

ission Mississippi’s slogan for the month is “walk together.” So

how are we doing? Are we intentional or accidental when it comes to walking together?

My wife and I moved to Mound Bayou, Mississippi, about eight years ago. If you don’t know anything about Mound Bayou, it is an African-American community founded by ex-slaves in 1887. My wife and I live counter to what culture would teach, as we are the only white couple in town. I tell you that only to provide context.

Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”

It would be impossible to walk together without some agreement. Walking together would take intentionality and wouldn’t happen by chance. Walking together would force us to walk through and not around.

Walking through and not around allows us to walk with.

There is an interesting story found in John’s gospel in which we see Jesus going “through” and not around. John 4:4 says it this way: “He had to go through Samaria on the way.”

Jewish people normally would not travel through Samaria. They would go around. In fact, they would travel an extra day to avoid Samaria and its people.

Jesus went through and not around. Those traveling with Him had to have been questioning this move.

Walking through is often counter-cultural.

If you continue reading John 4, you find that Jesus meets a woman at the well, and her life is changed forever. You also find that, culturally speaking, a Jewish man talking to a Samaritan woman would not have been accepted.

Dr. Haywood and Phil at a Mission Mississippi event.

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Phil with his baseball team in Mound Bayou.

“Jewish people normally would not travel through Samaria. They would go around. In fact, they would travel an extra day to avoid Samaria and its people.

Jesus went through and not around.”

Jesus walked through so he could walk with.

The only way we can walk with is to walk through. If we are to walk together, as the Amos passage says, we have to be willing to walk through.

My wife and I are blessed with many solid relationships. Dr. Larry Haywood is a great example. He’s not only a mentor to me, but really like a second dad. Over the years, we have had a chance to live life together, discuss, debate, and do all of it in love and respect. We walk through, not around.

Mission Mississippi helps us walk through and not around. One particular moment was at their annual conference last year, when my wife and I had a chance to facilitate a

discussion with a small, diverse group of high-schoolers. We had rich, deep, honest, challenging conversations in which you could see students’ paradigms shift. If we continue having those conversations, there is great hope for our future.

As a church, you and I can’t walk together without walking through. What does walking together look like? It starts with intentionality.

It begins with a heart’s desire to be part of the solution and not the problem.

Intentionality leads to conversations, which lead to relationships and prompt us to walk through and not around. The result is walking with and walking together, as Amos 3:3 says.

Comfort is found in staying close to those who look like us, think like us, and have the same beliefs as us. Jesus could have been comfortable and walked around Samaria, yet He had to walk through to walk with.

If we want to walk together, we have to be willing to walk through, and that starts with Christians leading the way by taking the first step. #WalkTogether Y

Phil Schank is president of C2k Ministries and owner of Philip Brand Studio, which develops branding, websites and design for organizations.

christian commerce

by SARAH MCLAUGHLIN

➺

A Father’s love shines through ‘A Letter to Marganie’

A

t 5 years old, Marganie Dumas was diagnosed with leukemia, and the journey God brought her family through displays His sovereignty and grace.

Now, more than a decade after her diagnosis, her father, Russ Dumas, has published a book about her story to bear testimony to the power of giving that blessed their family. (Marganie is now 19 and a sophomore at Mississippi State University.)

In an interview with MCL, Russ explained how God led him to write the book, and how God brought his family through a journey they never imagined. When Marganie was diagnosed, the Dumas family’s life was turned upside down.

Their schedules were busy and full, with sports, church, school and homework. In the midst of the uncertainty, Russ remembers how he got through: “My faith and belief in God, my family, my friends, and complete strangers — that’s how I got through everything.”

There were so many times during Marganie’s cancer battle when complete strangers came into the Dumases’ lives — praying for them, helping them, supporting them and walking alongside them. It was moments like these, Russ said, that truly shaped his family’s journey and gave them a sense of God’s presence in the middle of a trial.

Russ knew he wanted Marganie to have a way of remembering this time in her life, so he wrote a book called “A Letter to Marganie” to record everything. The book tells nine beautiful stories of how strangers and friends blessed the Dumas family with kindness. Through that kindness, Russ said, “Even in the darkness, I knew she was going to make it. I kept telling myself, ‘Everything’s going to be OK.’ ” Today, Russ fondly remembers that time: “I’m 56 and I wish I could live to be 156, but that’s not enough time to pay back all the goodness that came our family’s way.”

It was out of his desire to give back that he published “A Letter to Marganie” and developed his brand, EGBO: Everything’s Gonna be Ok. The book gives light to those who are walking through their own battles, and EGBO is the basis for a care package Russ sends to those in need, including EGBObranded T-shirts, skullcaps, cups, hand sanitizer and more. The book — which has a picture Marganie drew with the words “a gift from God” on the cover — and the EGBO slogan are ways he continues to serve others today.

Russ said that, “I realized one day I’m going to stand before God and He’s going to say, ‘You wasted a lot of time when you could have been out there doing something.’ And I realized that serving’s going to be there until the day I die.” Ultimately, the book serves as a loving testimony of not only Russ’s love for Marganie, but also of our Father’s love for us.

“A Letter to Marganie” is available to purchase via Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, and egbosmiles.com. Y

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Sarah McLaughlin is a senior at Mississippi College, and plans to graduate with a B.A. in English education.

She attends Pinehaven Presbyterian Church in Clinton. You’ll often find her reading, listening to vinyl records, and drinking coffee.

AgoraEversole.com mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 15

➺lagniappe Chatting with ‘The Voice’ winner Todd Tilghman of Meridian On May 19, Mississippians got some good news when Todd Tilghman — a husband, father of eight, and pastor from Meridian — won NBC’s “The Voice.” MCL Editor Katie Eubanks recently chatted with Todd on the phone about music, faith, family and more.

KE: What has it been like starting your music career during a pandemic?

TT: It’s certainly been a challenge because the world is not allowing the bulk of what you do to be successful. (laughs) But on the other hand … I feel fairly certain that had we went to L.A. (instead of recording our live performances for “The Voice” at home), I feel almost 100 percent certain that I never would’ve won. I think because people saw my family, I think that probably helped me.

And then I’ve had some opportunities to do live music in some socially distanced-type settings. So I’m really grateful.

KE: Do you have any idea when we can expect an album?

TT: The album is one of those things that I am working really hard on. I’ve got tons of music written … I’m really just sort of waiting on a few red tape things with the label. So it’s hard to say when. I’m just excited to be able to … share who I am and the things that I love and my faith and my testimony and my story, and music that may reach a broader audience. I can tell about my faith but it’s sort of camouflaged, you know what I mean? (laughs) You sing about … these everyday things that we really all live through, and people don’t pay attention.

We all look for this grand gesture from God, but if we’ll look back over our lives, it’s almost like a jigsaw puzzle. There’s a whole bunch of little things He’s doing where if you look back over them, it really is a grand gesture.

KE: Do you have any kind of timeline on a tour, or what are your hopes for that?

TT: I am hoping 2021, and not like fourth quarter. (laughs) There are a few different things we’ve got stirred up. If we could find a way for all of these things to sort of strike at one time, that would be really ideal. (But) that’s probably wishful thinking. (laughs) 16

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Clockwise from top left: Todd, Brooke, Eagan, Asher, Louie, Shepard, Wilhelmina (Winnie), Hosea, Judah and Olive Tilghman.

KE: Tell me about the book you’re working on.

TT: An author (Tricia Goyer) reached out to (my wife, Brooke, and me). I said, “I don’t know how many people will care, but we can tell you stories.”

I don’t know exactly the release date. But I do know it’s sort of a fast-track thing.

just that we have these little victories that we’re winning all the time if we’ll pay attention. And each one is taking us to a higher level and making us stronger. And the other is, my wife and I raising a family … it’s really been a process of moving from fear to faith. I was scared to death (of “The Voice”). I just assumed they’d all tell me no.

KE: What is the main focus of the book?

TT: It’s called “Every Little Win.” … it’s almost like a memoir of our lives as a married couple, and our family, and a lot of the hardships that we’ve been through. So I would say the key to it — really two — one is

KE: How do you balance being a husband and father, pastor, and performer, and not go crazy?

TT: Well, I do go crazy. (laughs) But aside from that, the best answer I can give you with any amount of discretion at this moment is to

A TALE OF THE CHRIST A celestial and earthly adventure across time, space and the invisible.

Todd and his family react when he is announced as the winner of NBC’s “The Voice” on May 19.

say first of all, I am surrounded by people who are way better than I am at a lot of the things you do to lead a church, and they help me a lot.

Secondly, I know that … my life will look different this time next year … I don’t know all of the specifics of that. Any church — I’ve pastored this church for a while now, and I know these people well enough to know — any church deserves a leader that can give them his full attention. So we’re working toward doing what is the right thing to do.

KE: How do you try to maintain closeness with your family while you’re doing shows at Theatre of the Stars in Pigeon Forge (Tennessee)?

TT: I stay in contact with my family all the time. I call or FaceTime every day when I’m gone. Last week I called the family one night after the show, and the kids were still up. So my baby girl is 4, and she got on the phone and she says, “Hey Daddy, Momma got a new dog, but we’re not supposed to tell you.” (laughs) But as far as closeness with my family … traveling has kind of helped a little, because I don’t take for granted the time when I’m with them. So we’re not spread all throughout the house. The kids are in your lap watching movies or whatever you’re doing. Last night we got to go have a big barbecue with friends and swim.

KE: Did you feel any pressure to share your faith on “The Voice,” and how do you feel you were able to do that?

TT: I was able to share my faith a lot in different arenas that never showed up on the TV screen at home, but the best that I knew to do was just be myself. And I feel like that translated OK. … Just love people and be honest about who I am.

I didn’t feel pressure to stand on national TV and say, “Do you know Jesus Christ as

your personal Lord and Savior?” But where I did feel pressure is — and this is no one’s fault but my own … I was worried that people would judge me because I’m not singing this or I’m not singing this. … But I think God worked it out in the finale when I got to sing (“I Can Only Imagine”).

One thing I did grow a lot in, since “The Voice” and up to now is, I want to be a good witness and a good example … but God is teaching me that He’s the only one that I really have to please. I’m trying really hard to do that.

I don’t mind you knowing I’m a Christian, but I don’t want to be the litmus test. Because I’ll mess up.

KE: Any song you wanted to sing on “The Voice” that you didn’t get to?

TT: There’s about 26 that I wanted to that I didn’t get to (laughs). I would’ve loved to sing “The Luckiest” (by Ben Folds), because it reminds me of my wife and family. But in fairness, it doesn’t have a whole lot of range or anything. And then as far as faith-based stuff, I would’ve loved to sing “His Eye Is On the Sparrow,” because everybody knows that and loves that. But I’m pleased with what I got to do.

I would’ve liked to be a little more soulful.

Because my voice is fairly soulful, and I didn’t get to do a whole lot of that on “The Voice.” But I don’t have any complaints.

KE: Yeah, I’m sure you weren’t going to go up to Blake Shelton and say, “You haven’t let me do enough soulful stuff.”

TT: Oh, Blake was just great. Even since the show, if I reach out to him, he’s just so good to me. Everybody asked what kind of person he was. All I can say is he was just very genuine and a lot of fun. What you see on TV — I was like, if he’s my coach, please let him be like this — and he was. Y

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STEGALL IMAGERY

Elbert and Karen McGowen Loving each other and all God’s people

E

lbert and Karen McGowan flirt like teenagers during our cover shoot.

He can’t keep his eyes off her, and very nearly can’t keep from smiling. When the photographer asks them to “look at each other,” sparks fly, and she laughs.

They’ve been married for 16 years, and have known each other for 24.

They met in 1996 at a program for graduating high-school seniors at Alabama A&M University. He was from Jackson, and she was from Akron, Alabama. They wound up at two different colleges but stayed in touch throughout undergrad.

“Then it just sort of went radio silent,” Elbert recalls.

He got a job at GE Aircraft Engines in Cincinnati, Ohio. She went to pharmacy school in Tallahassee, Florida.

They’d both grown up in church, but neither of them was saved.

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

While Elbert was working at GE, God started convicting him of his sin and his need for Christ.

Elbert’s mother and Steve Lanier, a friend from Trinity Presbyterian Church in Jackson, pointed Elbert to a church in the Cincinnati area. He started reading his Bible, started “thinking about spiritual things,” he says.

“This was right around 9/11. (Singer) Aaliyah had died in a plane crash. I had a friend stabbed and killed. Another friend died in a car accident. And I just thought, wow, life is fragile.

“I read Galatians 2:20 — ‘I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.’

“It was beautiful but sobering. We all try to live up to God’s standard. But if that were possible, then Jesus died for no reason. In fact, it’s not possible (to meet God’s standard). Jesus

STEGALL IMAGERY

by KATIE EUBANKS

Elbert is senior pastor of Redeemer Church, an intentionally multiethnic congregation in Jackson.

“This was right around 9/11.

(Singer) Aaliyah had died in a plane crash. I had a friend stabbed and killed. Another friend died in a car accident.

And I just thought, wow, life is fragile.”

died to do what we could not do.

“That’s when I think I trusted in the Lord.”

Around that same time, Karen came to Christ in a similar way, she says. “It was through a lot of — just a coming to the end of myself. I thought I had it all together … and the Lord just kind of knocked me off my personal horse (and said), ‘Now do you see your need?’”

After meeting God, Karen and Elbert met each other again.

Replying to a 2-year-old email

LISA PATTI

“I shot her an email,” Elbert says.

More accurately: “I replied to a very old email.”

Karen explains that her housing situation would change when she interned at CVS in the summers during pharmacy school — and since she had no cell phone, she’d email her new landline number to all her contacts. In 2001, Elbert was on that email.

Two years later, he replied.

“I opened it, because I was always fond of Elbert,” Karen says. “He was always a sweet guy. … And I shared my contact information again. And we’ve been talking ever since.”

“And we’ve been talking since then,” Elbert says.

(FYI, Elbert and Karen were interviewed separately — which makes their nearly identical choice of words even sweeter.)

‘I told her I’m not a preacher type’ After experiencing the grace of Christ, Elbert couldn’t keep from sharing Him with others. He witnessed door to door through his church; witnessed to his direct reports at work; witnessed to kids from a local Boys & Girls Club, whom he took on tours at GE. He also got involved in prison ministry and his church’s young adults ministry, and was discipled by godly men.

“I was working third shift (night shift at GE)

From left: Karen, Tripp (Elbert McGowan III), Karis, and Elbert McGowan, Jr.

as a production supervisor. In the daytime, I was driving to the prison and taking teams out at the church,” Elbert recalls. “I can remember wanting to do ministry but also needing to make a living. So I just lived on little sleep.”

One day he overheard Karen telling her sister on the phone, “Girl, I think I’m going to be marrying a pastor.” But despite the fire God had lit in him to share the gospel, he didn’t think he’d be doing it as a full-time minister.

“I told her I’m not a preacher type,” he says.

“But she said three things: 1. ‘If God calls you, we’ve got to go.’ 2. ‘I’ll go wherever God leads you.’ 3. ‘God will provide.’ This was the woman I was about to marry. That was confirmation to at least explore (the idea).”

Steve Lanier, the same friend who’d helped Elbert find a church in Ohio, connected him with admissions at Reformed Theological Seminary (RTS) in Jackson. Elbert toured the campus but was still torn. He had a steady

income at GE. He told another friend: “If I move to Jackson, I have to trust the Lord.”

But that was the whole point.

The day Elbert and Karen decided to move to Jackson, she got a call from Walgreens about a job. A house next-door to Redeemer Church PCA, the new church plant out of Trinity Presbyterian, also became available.

“Those things didn’t happen until we committed,” Elbert says.

‘He just kind of wrecked our world’ In June 2004, soon after marrying, Elbert and Karen moved to Jackson. He and his father started a landscape company. Elbert cut grass and interned at Redeemer while attending seminary at RTS. As Elbert entered his third and final year of seminary, someone asked if he’d ever thought about starting a chapter of Reformed University Fellowship (RUF) at Jackson State University. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 19

STEGALL IMAGERY

A memento from Elbert’s days at GE Aircraft Engines, where he was working when he met the Lord.

Elbert leads students in prayer at Reformed University Fellowship (RUF) at Jackson State University. He and Karen served at Jackson State for nine years before he became pastor at Redeemer.

Elbert asked Karen about it, and she suggested they fast and pray. Through that, God gave them a desire to reach college students, especially at HBCUs (historically black colleges and universities), which they both had attended (Elbert at Alabama A&M, Karen at Stillman College and Florida A&M).

So the McGowans went through the process of starting an RUF chapter at Jackson State.

Karen says she and Elbert’s own testimonies made them that much more passionate about college ministry: “Because of our own lack of pastoral type of oversight at that age — we personally know Satan’s attack on our young adults, right? (We

20

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

know) all the temptations and struggles they face,” she says. “So having the opportunity to kind of fill that gap and serve students in that way, it was a blessing.

“And every now and then they’ll call, or we’ll run into them, just seeing how the Lord is using them across the world … It’s just been sweet. It’s really rewarding when you can kind of see the fruit of your labor.”

But the time went by fast, Elbert recalls: “Students come in and you look up, and they’re graduating. You look up, and they’ve bonded to a peer group. You look up, and it’s December break.”

One day he and Karen looked up, and

they’d been at RUF for about seven years.

“There was no thing that happened, but (we had) the idea of, is it time for us to start another work on another black campus, or plant a church?”

Then he had a meeting with Mike Campbell, the founding pastor at Redeemer, where Elbert and Karen were still active members. Mike said he felt called back to Miami, where he’d pastored before, and that God might be calling Elbert to be the pastor at Redeemer.

“He just kind of wrecked our world,” Elbert says. He was scared. He’d never wanted Mike’s job.

‘It’s obvious that we’re different’ As with the move to Jackson, God was calling the McGowans to take a step of faith.

“After a couple weeks of praying and spending time in solitude with the Lord, He awakened this love (in me) for the people here (at Redeemer) in a more tender way,” Elbert says.

“Then it became, I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

He was still afraid of messing it up, he says.

Afraid of not being mature enough.

“You go from a deeply homogenous group of 99 percent black college students at Jackson State, and then to be in a setting where people are different, and it’s obvious that we’re different, that was hard,” Elbert says.

Redeemer is an intentionally multiethnic church in one of the most diverse neighborhoods in Jackson. Racially, politically and socioeconomically, folks at Redeemer are all over the spectrum.

Among Elbert’s other concerns were “the expectations for a first lady,” he says.

Fortunately, “the search committee did a beautiful job of telling Karen, ‘We have no expectations of you, other than loving this man and caring for your family.’ ” In other words, she didn’t have to host every Bible study and be present at every ministry meeting.

That doesn’t mean she never puts pressure on herself.

To the church members who were there when Elbert became pastor in 2016, “I’m just still Karen,” she says. She and Elbert had been at Redeemer for a while. But the church has grown in the past four years. New people have come in.

“It’s definitely self-inflicted, (but) I would think, ‘What do these people think of the pastor’s wife?’ I’m not just Karen to them. So it’s a struggle sometimes,” she says.

“And I have people to kind of constantly

Elbert, aka “Pastor El,” reads to students at The Redeemer’s School, an urban Christian school housed at Redeemer Church.

remind me, ‘Hey, you’re not here to meet everybody.’ But the struggle is just trying to make sure (everyone knows) that they are loved and cared for.”

For her part, she’s available to meet with women whenever there’s a need, she says.

“It’s a team effort.”

not allowed. Instead, Elbert and Karen and the kids check in with each other and talk about their day. They have some form of family worship on a regular basis (they’re currently reading through Revelation).

Once a week, they have an intentional

family night. They take turns picking the meal and the activity — and even if it’s something only one person likes, everybody has to participate, Karen says. It encourages that person and helps unify the family.

Prioritizing the family Before the McGowans can minister effectively to their church, they have to love each other and their kids: Karis, 14, and Tripp (Elbert McGowan III), 11.

Between Elbert’s duties at Redeemer, Tripp’s baseball games, Karis’ tennis games and piano lessons, and Karen’s part-time job as a relief pharmacist for Walgreens, the family calendar is packed.

Karen didn’t initially want to do retail pharmacy, but it wound up being what she needed, she says. She gets to help all kinds of customers in cities anywhere within 60 miles of Jackson — and if the drive home is long, “it gives me a little time to decompress,” she says with a laugh, “and get back into (my) mom role.”

At the McGowan dinner table, phones are

Elbert and Karen in an engagement portrait from 2004.

Karen (right) gets a visit from former Jackson State student Starlencia H. Hinton, who was part of RUF when Karen and Elbert led that ministry. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 21

STEGALL IMAGERY

MCL Editor Katie Eubanks interviews Elbert in his office at Redeemer.

If family unity requires effort, imagine leading a church.

Now make it a multiracial church. In a year like 2020.

Just two days after the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic, Breonna Taylor was killed in Louisville, Kentucky. Two months after that, George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis. Since then, protests and riots have happened across the country.

“One of the first things I’ve tried to do is remind our people that everything we’re experiencing (this year) isn’t new,” Elbert says.

“It feels different because it’s compacted, (but) you think about the Spanish flu (in comparison to COVID-19). You think of Revelation … This vision John sees, famines, wars, inflation … I don’t think that’s just a future time of tribulation. I think that’s now.”

People have been killing their fellow man from the beginning. “We’re on track for a record year of murders in Jackson right now,” he says. “(That lack of concern for human life) manifests itself citizen to citizen, and it goes up to some police officers and how they treat citizens as well.”

Ultimately, that injustice and hatred go back to rebellion against God, he says. “When we rebel against the Lord, we won’t rightly love our neighbor.

“It may feel (new) because it’s in our 22

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

lifetime, but when you look at what our grandparents endured, and people of color enduring slavery and Jim Crow — this doesn’t feel new to me. It (just) feels like something is very wrong with this world.”

Elbert says it’s crucial to remind his church that God’s kingdom is diverse, and that that’s a good thing. He points out the stark differences

STEGALL IMAGERY

Tough conversations in 2020

“Something captivates them about Jesus that changes them. Those (other) things become secondary, and they’re able to gather around a meal and not be an elephant or a donkey,” Elbert says.

“He’s building this kingdom that doesn’t look like this world. As long as we take our cue from this world, we’ll be divided.”

Elbert claims the church already has unity, in a sense: “When you pull back the veneer, we have the same need. We’re all deeply sinful, deeply biased, deeply flawed. And our common need is to be reconciled to God,” he says.

Reconciliation with God automatically reconciles us to each other. We just have to seek God’s help in living that out.

“Christians can engage in these situations with love, and humility, and I even think repentance, man.”

Karen explains what some of that has looked like at Redeemer: “(The church leadership has) done a good job of, one, informing everyone, making sure everyone is aware that (racial injustice) is not a made-up type of thing. And … there are things that we do, whether it’s knowingly or just kind of unaware of … to contribute to this, or that we can do to combat it,” she says.

“And I’ve had conversations personally with women where we’ve had lunch and we’ve discussed this, black and white. I think for me … we just kind of see our roles as moms, our role is to make sure our children understand this, and that we don’t raise children who are racist and who hate,” she says.

“People have admitted to struggling with this, whether you’re black and you feel like not enough is being done (to combat racism), or you’re white and you feel like this is too much attention given to this thing … It’s been a challenge at home and (at church), but people are so willing to reach out and have uncomfortable conversations.”

Elbert knows he and Karen were put in place, both in their family and at Redeemer, to have those conversations. And despite the feelings of insecurity that may bring, he remembers something Jesus told those 12 disciples: “You didn’t choose Me, but I chose you.”

“He knew exactly who He was choosing,” Elbert says. “That gives me hope.” Y

“I shared my contact information again. And we’ve been talking ever since.”

– Karen McGowan

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➺feature

by KATIE EUBANKS

Chanda Roby comes full circle with REAL Christian Foundation

G

enesis One Christian School in Mendenhall is where Chanda Roby first remembers learning about heaven.

“When I look back (on) my spiritual life and educational background, it goes back to the fundamental principles from my mother, my grandmother, and Genesis One,” which Chanda attended through second grade, she says.

Now, just a couple decades later, she leads a nonprofit that directly impacts the school’s parent organization, Mendenhall Ministries.

“I think it’s where God was leading me all of the time.”

Chanda was the first person in her immediate family to attend college, and she “couldn’t (afford to) run up a very high college bill,” she says. That plus her research into degree programs led her to University of Mississippi, where she got bachelor’s degrees in marketing communications and journalism.

She loved it.

Then she decided to stay for law school.

Family members had urged her to get more than a bachelor’s. She had participated in moot court in high school, and had done some public speaking at church, so she looked at law and thought, “I would be good at this.”

But law school was a struggle for her. She was not used to having a hard time academically.

By the end of her first semester, she knew she didn’t want a traditional legal career, but she had no idea what that meant. When she graduated, she didn’t have a job lined up. But she wound up finding several meaningful jobs over the years.

She completed a fellowship with Americorps at the Mississippi Center for Justice in Jackson, where she worked in education law and learned that “the issues (surrounding education in Mississippi) were so deep and far-reaching. Some of the people I was dealing with in education law also had issues in youth court and other social justice areas,” she says.

“Ever since then, I’ve been attracted to things I could have a big impact in.”

Her other jobs included teaching legal writing at Mississippi College School of Law, and working at a litigation firm.

“Some of those things, I really enjoyed them. Some not so much,” she says. “But it 24

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

How to support REAL Christian Foundation Last year, the Kellogg Foundation awarded REAL Christian Foundation a Catalyzing Community Giving grant, to be used to gain the support of 100 black churches in Mississippi, more Mississippians of color, and more Mississippians in general.

“We have traditionally gotten more money from white churches, and individuals outside of Mississippi, but all of our efforts go into Mississippi,” Chanda says.

Because of COVID-19, REAL can’t meet with a lot of people in person to ask for support. But anyone who wants to donate can do so at realchristianfoundation.org/ donate-now, via CashApp at $REALatWork, or by mailing a check to P.O. Box 180059, Richland, MS 39218.

was all a learning experience.”

Around 2015, she realized she needed a career change, and decided she wanted to pursue nonprofits.

By that time, she was serving on the board of REAL (Rural Education and Leadership) Christian Foundation, which was started by Dolphus and Rosie Weary — who had previously run Mendenhall Ministries, the parent organization of Genesis One Christian School, where Chanda attended for five years.

REAL, based in Richland, helps Mendenhall Ministries and other rural Mississippi ministries financially, as well as through technical support, education, and networking opportunities.

While serving on the REAL board, Chanda helped a local church start a nonprofit — but her position was only funded for six months.

Then she worked as a guardian ad litem, representing the best interests of children in situations of suspected abuse or neglect, under Judge William “Bill” Skinner at the Hinds County Youth Court.

After serving eight years on the REAL board of directors, Chanda was on the committee to make a succession plan for the Wearys, who were getting ready to retire. Then a fellow board member asked Chanda what she was doing with her life. And Chanda vented.

“I was frustrated,” she says. “The type of

career I wanted, it seemed my plans had been circumvented for a number of years.”

Still, when that board member suggested Chanda could be the new REAL president, a paid position, “my immediate response was no,” she recalls. “I think I still had this picture in my mind — there were all these (other) things I wanted to do.

“But in the midst of saying no, I had a thought, and I think it was the Holy Spirit, saying, ‘Why not you?’ So I shut up, and I said, ‘Well, let me just pray about it.’ I thought, ‘Well, this was not what I planned, but it’s so many things I’m passionate about.’ ” In 2016, Chanda became REAL’s executive director, a position created so she could learn from the Wearys before they rolled off the board.

In January 2019, she officially became president.

“I think my background makes it a good fit because we are supporting organizations just like the one that had such an impact on my life,” she says.

Dolphus Weary remembers enrolling Chanda in a leadership development program under the Christian Community Development Association 10 years ago, because he and Rosie saw Chanda’s potential.

“Out of that, God really touched (Chanda’s) heart to want to be a part of the solution of poverty,” he says. “We were excited (to have her take over leadership of REAL).

Law school was a struggle for Chanda, and she did not have a job lined up when she graduated — but she wound up finding several meaningful jobs that prepared her for her work at REAL.

Chanda in a school portrait from Genesis One Christian School in Mendenhall, where she was first introduced to one of the ministries she now assists.

“Rosie and I feel good about that — that someone who came up through Mendenhall Ministries would take hold of our final dream.”

reach more people than we reached before.”

Ultimately, Chanda hopes REAL can help bring about biblical justice in Mississippi.

“From my perspective, biblical justice is dealing with Jeremiah 29:7 — seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper,” she says.

“When you think about Mississippians being at the bottom of lists that are good … I think it falls back on the Christians. … I think we need to be more invested in what we do to help cities, in order that they can prosper and we can prosper as a state.”

The REAL deal REAL supports 13 rural ministries in Mississippi. Chanda says the Wearys established REAL “because they remembered how they struggled raising money for a nonprofit … a Christian nonprofit … a Christian nonprofit that was in a rural area … and a Christian nonprofit in a rural area that served minorities.”

Also, “a lot of people running ministries, this might not be the area they studied in, or they might not even have a college background, but just a passion for the ministry,” Chanda says.

For instance, they might not know how to find, ask for, write or absorb grants.

REAL gives its own grants and scholarships, along with helping the ministries with various sticking points such as structure and leadership development.

“And then lastly, we try to put them in situations where they can form relationships with people they can ask for support, but also connect them with other organizations that are doing what they’re doing, and they can kind of brainstorm and network,” Chanda says.

The COVID-19 pandemic has proved tough for all nonprofits this year, but REAL was still able to give away $200,000 in grants and college scholarships.

“Once we are able to get a little more creative about the circumstances, we might be able to reach more people — virtual (technology), for example, has the potential to

The Master Orchestrator Chanda never felt like she could use all of her skills, education and experience in one job until she came to REAL. “My interests are very eclectic …. I’m the master of nothing. But I know a little about a lot of things,” she says.

“I had chances to get exposure to so many things (on) the legislative level, the judicial level, even community advocacy, grassroots … (and) all of those things affect the people we help. I feel like I can come to them with a clear picture of what is affecting them, how and why … and what the solutions are.”

Chanda believes everyone has a calling on his or her life. Since high school, she’s been trying to find hers.

“I feel like God revealed things to me in phases or pieces until I was ready to accept it,” she says. “I have had to look at God (like), how did You orchestrate this whole thing?”

Y mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 25

➺this is my story

by WILLETTE MYRICK

Why socializing at revivals wasn’t wasted time

T

here are different stages and seasons of physical and spiritual growth. From

the womb we enter into the infant stage, early childhood, middle childhood and adolescence, and from there, by God’s grace, we reach adulthood. For the believer, spiritual growth is somewhat similar.

I grew up in a small town in central Mississippi, the youngest of three siblings. As a teenager, I looked forward to attending the annual church revival. Friends and relatives came from far and near to attend the one-week event. These were fun times for me. I enjoyed wearing my new outfits and socializing with relatives and friends. After all, I was a teenager!

And that is what most teens do.

One night during the revival, the evangelist made the altar call. My best friend approached the altar. Without giving it any thought, I approached the altar as well. Was God pounding on my heart telling me to go? No, I really don’t think so. I was doing what I saw my friend do. At the end of the revival, my friend and I were baptized.

Soon I entered a new stage of my life. I experienced college life, the death of both parents, marriage, and having children. Then I returned to college seeking a second degree, and also trying to raise a family while at the same time going through an abusive marriage, which ended in divorce. My life was in total chaos. Things were really tough, and somehow I knew I needed to pray, so I did.

Looking back, I truly believe I had begun to make progress toward spiritual maturity. I found myself seeking after the Word more than

ever. I connected myself with a strong Biblebased church with strong leaders and strong believers. I enrolled in distance learning and online classes at Aenon Bible College and Aenon School of Theology. Thank God for allowing me the opportunity to be challenged and taken deeper in the Word. Through patience, study, meditation, faith and prayer, I can say without a doubt I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord of my life.

God’s desire is that we will follow Him. And in order to follow Him, we must know Him. John 10:27-28 serves as a perfect example: “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life; and

they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand.” I found strength and comfort in the Word of God. I started an online prayer group with others like myself, and wrapped myself in the Word.

Now that I have accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, this season of my life with God has been amazing! It is so cool! I wouldn’t trade this life for anything in the world. This journey has by no means been easy. There have, and always will be, challenges — that’s life itself! There will always be battles to fight!

It’s so comforting to know I don’t have to fight those battles anymore. I have taken up residence in the secret place of the Most High.

In other words, I have made Him Lord of my life. Maintaining a relationship with Him is very crucial to me now.

Those years I spent socializing at the revivals and other church functions really paid off. I got introduced to “the real thing”! And “the real thing” is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. However, it was my choice to accept Him or reject Him. I am grateful to my parents for modeling Christianity and paving the way for us. It was not wasted energy.

My spiritual growth did not happen overnight. It has been a faith journey, and I am super excited about all that He has in the future for me and others that are willing to trust Him. Y Willette Myrick is a retired secondary teacher from Carthage, Mississippi.

Let us help you welcome fall!

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:

✝ THE PROBLEM

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).

✝ THE SOLUTION

…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!

✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9

✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?

Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.

✝ THE RESULTS

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17

If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans!

Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith.

If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 27

➺food for thought recipes by HALEY FRANKS

Freezer-friendly S recipes for fall

ometimes, the days when you “need” to cook do not line up with the days you have time to cook. Here are two recipes that can be prepared and frozen in advance, to be taken out and cooked whenever. PS: We’ll reveal another recipe from Haley on Instagram @mschristianmag this month!

CHICKEN ENCHILADAS SAUCE: 2 tablespoons oil 2 tablespoons minced garlic 1 (4-ounce) can chopped green chilies 1 (15-ounce) can tomato sauce 1 cup chicken broth 1 teaspoon oregano, dried ¾ teaspoon cumin 1 teaspoon chili powder ½ teaspoon chipotle chili powder (optional) 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper

BEEF STEW FILLING: 2 tablespoons oil 1 tablespoon minced garlic 1 medium onion, chopped 2½ cups shredded chicken 1 can yellow corn, drained 1 can black beans, drained/rinsed ½ teaspoon cumin 1 teaspoon chili powder ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper 3 cups shredded cheddar 20 small flour tortilla shells

Start with the sauce. Add oil to a medium saucepan and heat. Once heated, add garlic and simmer until fragrant. Add chopped chilies, tomato sauce, broth, oregano and spices.

Bring to a simmer and let simmer 7-10 minutes until slightly thickened.

To make filling: In a large sauté pan, add oil and heat. Once heated, add chopped onion and garlic. Cook until translucent. Add chicken, beans, corn, spices and ½ cup sauce. Let warm together 2 minutes.

To make enchiladas: Take 1 tortilla, add 3–4 tablespoons of meat mixture to the center, and sprinkle about 1 tablespoon cheese over top. Roll up tortilla and place seam side down starting at one side of a 9x13” (or two 8x8”) baking dish. Repeat until pan is full or all of the mixture/tortillas are used. Cover with remainder of sauce, and sprinkle cheese over top.

To bake immediately: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake enchiladas 25 minutes, then broil on HIGH for 1 minute.

To freeze: Wrap prepared enchiladas tightly in plastic wrap, then cover with foil. Freeze for up to 6 months until ready to cook. Thaw in fridge overnight. Bake at 350 degrees for 3040 minutes until warmed through and cheese is melty.

Makes 18-20 small enchiladas.

28

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

1 3 3 to 4 1 1 1 2 1

pound stew meat, cubed large carrots, chopped Yukon gold potatoes, cubed medium onion, chopped (15-ounce) can beef stock (8-ounce) can tomato sauce bay leaves tablespoon minced garlic Salt and pepper to taste 1 tablespoon cornstarch ¼ cup water Prepared rice

To cook immediately: Add first 4 ingredients to a slow cooker along with beef stock, tomato sauce, bay leaves, garlic, salt and pepper. Turn cooker on low for 8 hours or high for 4 hours. Thirty minutes before end of cook time, add cornstarch and water into a cup and whisk together. Pour into slow cooker to finish cooking. This will help thicken the au jus. Serve over prepared rice!

To freeze: Place first 4 ingredients into a large freezer zip-top bag, and freeze until ready to cook, then follow above instructions.

(No thaw time needed.)

Haley Franks is the wife of Stevie Franks.

She is a dental hygienist by day but learned to love cooking and baking by watching Food Network. She recently turned her hobby into an Instagram platform for fun, and enjoys making videos of what she is cooking each day. Follow her @haleysreciperoundup!

God led us to Hartfield because they share the same values and principles that we have as a family. Our daughter is really being encouraged to be the person that God created her to be.

We’re excited to see her grow in Christ, as well as a student and athlete.

-Chris and Tresa Bruce

FIND YOUR WHY (601) 992-5333

hartfield.org

October is National Orthodontic Health Month Make sure your Halloween is sweet—not scary—by avoiding the treats that can play tricks on your orthodontics.

Below are guidelines for orthodontic patients so they can enjoy the treats and stay on track to achieve their healthy, beautiful smile. Enjoy the ortho-friendly treats and be sure to brush and floss after indulging.

E Eugene Eug Eugen Euge Euuug C. C Brow B Br Bro Brown Brown, Jr. J Jr (Sticky, hard, chewy, or crunchy) • Caramel • Nuts • Jelly beans, taffy or candy corn • Hard pretzels or chips • Popcorn • Bubblegum • Ice

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D D. D.D D.D. D.D.S D.D.S. D.D.S., M M. M.S M.S.

(Soft and easy to chew)

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• Soft, melt-in-your mouth chocolates • Peanut butter cups • Milk shakes, puddings and jello • Seedless grapes and bananas • Ice cream and frozen yogurt • Peeled, thinly-sliced apples

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MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF ORTHODONTISTS

The American Dental Association recommends that children see an orthodontist by age 7. mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 29

➺money matters

by CAROLYN MCLEMORE, CRPC®, and KURT VANDE STREEK

5 financial lessons from 2020 and the upcoming election You will be moved by the keepsake letter written from a father to his daughter diagnosed with leukemia that was inspired by the one common denominator to all things good — the act of giving.

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OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

W

e are just a month away from the 2020 presidential election in what has been an unprecedented year.

On February 19, the S&P 500 reached an all-time high. At the end of February, the United States had just 24 confirmed cases of COVID19.

By March 23, just 33 days removed from alltime highs, the stock market had retreated by 34 percent. Yes, you read that correctly. The S&P 500 decreased by 34 percent in 33 days. By the end of March, the United States had 188,724 confirmed cases of COVID-19 — a nearly 8,000 percent month-over-month increase.

So, what has 2020 taught us about investing and financial planning? ◼ Market volatility is normal.

Price fluctuation comes with the territory when investing in the stock market. The good news is, there are several solutions outside of the market if volatility doesn’t interest you. ◼ Time in the market is more important than timing the market.

Investors who remained invested in the broad market past February and March were rewarded. The S&P 500 is back near all-time highs again. Trying to “time” when to get in and out is a calculated gamble at best. ◼ Portfolio diversity can help reduce investment anxiety.

Understanding your risk tolerance and investing accordingly can help emotionally ground you during times of high market volatility. ◼ Emergency savings are critical, especially during uncertainty.

Tens of millions of jobs were lost or furloughed during the first half of 2020. Those who had three to six months of cash on hand fared significantly better than those who didn’t. ◼ A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

If you don’t have a financial plan, or the one you did have proved unreliable this year, it’s time to roll up your sleeves.

Now, as we turn our attention to the November 3 election, opinions about each candidate are not lacking. Politics is not our cup of tea and shall thankfully remain that way!

However, we do want to shed light on what history tells us about the stock market’s performance under Republican and Democratic presidents. What it reveals may surprise you.

Below is a list of every president dating back to John F. Kennedy, and the performance of the S&P 500 index during their time in office: John F. Kennedy (1961-63) Lyndon Johnson (1963-69) Richard Nixon (1969-74) Gerald Ford (1974-77) Jimmy Carter (1977-81) Ronald Reagan (1981-89) George H.W. Bush (1989-93) Bill Clinton (1993-2001) George W. Bush (2001-09) Barack Obama (2009-17) Donald Trump (2017-Present) *as of 6/30/2020

12.4% 10.3% -1.6% 18.1% 11.7% 14.7% 15.7% 17.2% -2.9% 14.5% 12.2%*

1 All index data from FactSet. The S&P 500 Index is an unmanaged index which cannot be invested into directly. Unmanaged index returns do not reflect fees, expenses or sales charges. Index performance is not indicative of the performance of any investment. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.

Our acknowledgement of historical market performance is not a voting recommendation.

What we are attempting to emphasize is the fact that stocks have performed well over the long run under both Republican and Democratic presidents — and that should offer investors comfort in terms of the stock market. Yet there is more at stake in presidential elections than money and the performance of stocks.

In closing, we encourage you to reflect on the five lessons we have shared and ask yourself, “How can I strengthen my mindset and/or financial plan?” Many people desire financial freedom but lack an actionable plan to pursue it.

Our team at Trustmark Financial Services would welcome the opportunity to come alongside you on your journey toward freedom. We can be reached at 769-209-4684 or 601-208-6029.Y

Carolyn McLemore is a financial consultant and first vice president with Trustmark Financial Services. She and her husband, Gary, live in Brandon and are active members of First Baptist Church of Fannin. Kurt Vande Streek is a financial consultant with Trustmark Financial Services. He and his wife, Mary Ellen, live in Jackson with their two children and are active members of Redeemer Church, PCA.

Mississippi ®

Fear to Faith Women’s Retreat October 31, 9 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.

Ridgecrest Baptist Church, Madison THEME: Mental Health $15 in advance or live-stream only / $25 at the door TICKETS: bit.ly/fear2faith2020 LIMITED SEATING Barb Martin, LPC, LMFT

Brenna Weaver, LPC

Keynote Speaker

Workshop Leader

W O R S H I P ● F E L LO W S H I P ● P R AY E R

mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 31

Do you see a LEADER when you look in the mirror?

Fall back into flavor!

HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS: Share your story of faith

and leadership for a chance to receive a scholarship toward college tuition. Applications and instructions are available at MSChristianLiving.com or through school counselors.

Application deadline: November 13.

Mississippi Christian Living, in partnership with Belhaven University, will honor our 13th class of Christian Leaders of the Future at an afternoon event on Belhaven’s campus on March 2, 2021. Two interactive back-to-back workshops will be followed by a reception, keynote speaker presentation, and awarding of two $1,000 scholarships.

Deadli

Novembene r 13

For more information, email Suzanne Durfey at suzanne@mschristianliving.com or email katie@mschristianliving.com 32

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

CLOSED SUNDAY for Family and Faith County Line Road, Ridgeland

601.487.8954 CALL FOR RESERVATIONS

tough questions

by BRENNA WEAVER

➺

What do I do about my husband’s female friend?

QUESTION: My husband has a female friend whom he texts from time to time. They seem to just be longtime friends, but it still makes me uncomfortable. Am I being unfair?

Walk for Life October 24th Sign In: 10:00 AM

ANSWER: It would be extremely difficult to live in this world without friends. Whether it is the childhood friend who loved to explore the woods as much as you, the college friend who stayed up all night to help you study for a big exam, or the work friend who made similar facial expressions during staff meetings, there is truth to Proverbs 27:9 when it says “a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”

Although Merriam-Webster defines “friend” as “one attached to another by affection or esteem,” the idea and definition of friendship can vary from person to person. A quick Google search will show that many articles have been written on the concept of friendship, particularly friendships of the opposite sex. There does not seem to be a consensus inside or outside the church on how opposite-sex friendships should be handled. What matters in this instance is how you feel, how you communicate your feelings, and expectations within your marriage.

Let us examine what makes you feel uncomfortable. Are the texts of an inappropriate “Before the question ‘Am nature? Does your husband hide the I being unfair?’ can be communication? If there is unseemly content or a answered, a clear lack of transparency by your husband, it makes understanding of why sense you would feel uncomfortable. Is there a part you are feeling what you of you that feels jealous of the friendship? Do you are feeling is important.” feel neglected by your husband when he communicates with the friend? Before the question “Am I being unfair?” can be answered, a clear understanding of why you are feeling what you are feeling is important.

Also, have you communicated your feelings to your husband? If not, that would be the next step. It is easy to assume your husband should know what you are feeling, especially if you have been together for a while; however, clear communication is essential, and no human being is a mind reader.

Peter Scazzero writes in his book “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”: “Every time I make an assumption about someone who has hurt me or disappointed me without confirming it, I believe a lie about this person in my head.” Try not to make assumptions. Go to your husband. Tell him how you feel about the situation. Even if you have spoken with him about it and he has assured you it is nothing more than a casual, platonic friendship — once more, examine what makes you feel uncomfortable and discuss it with him.

After you have shared how you feel and why you feel that way, it may be a good time for you and your husband to discuss realistic expectations for friendships outside of your marriage. This conversation can cover both same-sex and opposite-sex friendship expectations. Do you think he spends too much time with his golf buddies? Does he not understand why you have a monthly girls’ night out? Talk openly and set boundaries that work for your relationship. To quote Scazzero again, “expectations are only valid when they have been mutually agreed upon.”

It is OK to feel uncomfortable with the situation. It is unfair if you do not communicate to your husband how you feel, and then place unrealistic and/or unspoken expectations on him concerning the friendship. Y Brenna Weaver is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgeland working with clients 18 years and older. She has experience as a secondary education teacher and children’s therapist. When not working, she enjoys reading, eating good food, and traveling.

Locations: • Emmanuel Baptist Church Grenada, MS

• Bright Park - Pearl, MS • Henderson Park Pass Christian, MS

Winning categories: • Team (consisting of 2 or more people)

• Adult Individual (19 and up not on a team)

• Youth Individual (18 and under not on a team)

Ever one who raises $25 will recieve a t-shirt.

This is a famil friendl event.

Register online at prolifemississippi.org call our office for more info.

601-956-8636 mschristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2020 33

➺quips & quotes ✂

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CUT OUT THE SCRIPTURES AND QUOTES AND PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT!

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Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! ~ PSALM 133:1 (ESV)

Believers are never told to become one; we already are one and are expected to act like it. ~ Joni Eareckson Tada

… walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit — just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call — one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

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~ Ephesians 4:1–6 (ESV)

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ~ PHILIPPIANS 2:3 (ESV)

Fear to Faith Women’s Retreat.....................31 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise. ~ GALATIANS 3:28-29 (ESV)

Repent for the more deliberate ways you may have violated the image of God, neighbor love, the new creation, and the gospel of grace. ~ Timothy Keller

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. ~ JOHN 13:34 (ESV)

Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. ~ ACTS 10:34 (ESV)

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Be united with other Christians. A wall with loose bricks is not good. The bricks must be cemented together.

~ Corrie ten Boom

Pegasus Senior Living .....................................5 Pine Grove Treatment Center.........................9 Pro-Life Mississippi........................................33

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ~ JOHN 17:20-21 (ESV)

For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. ~EPHESIANS 2:14–16 (ESV)

34

OCTOBER 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Reformed Theological Seminary ..................23 Sitters, LLC ....................................................13 Smiles By Design...........................................29 Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company....................................13 St. Dominic’s Comprehensive Stroke Center .............................................35 Stegall Imagery .............................................32 Sunnybrook Estates ......................................10 Tommy Rice Music ........................................12 Wendy Maxwell, Counselor..........................12

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