Mississippi Christian Living November 2021 by Mississippi Christian Living

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Charlotte Waller

Faith, family, and ‘heavenly’ tea parties ● When do we tell our child she’s adopted? ● 3 tea party recipes

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contents NOVEMBER 2021 VOLUME 16, NUMBER 5 PUBLISHER

MS Christian Living, Inc. EDITOR

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com MANAGING EDITOR

Suzanne Durfey ART/GRAPHIC DESIGN

Charlotte Waller, left, uses tea parties to share biblical truth. In her analogy, the tea tray symbolizes a believer’s foundation in Jesus Christ. “We live in a fallen world. But the tray still holds the teacup,” she says. See cover story on page 16.

columns STEGALL IMAGERY

8 Outside In A mountain perspective

9 Community Outreach

Sandra Goff SALES

Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober, Dorothy Bachus CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Chris Bates, Libbo Crosswhite, Audry Enns, Chris Fields, Dr. Fred Hall, Anna Claire O’Cain, Dr. CJ Rhodes, Ruth W. Sanders, Charlotte Waller, Jerry Welch COVER PHOTOGRAPHY

Stegall Imagery

Mission First celebrates 20 years of changing lives DISTRIBUTION ASSISTANTS

10 Modern Motherhood What to do when you’re drowning

12 Health & Wellness

Michelle and Randy Fortenberry, Rachel and Nettie Schulte, Jerri and Sammy Strickland, Rachel and Bob Whatley

5 healthy tips for the holidays

13 Mission Mississippi Moments How God brought me back to Mississippi

14 This Is My Story What I learned as my mother’s caregiver

21 Food for Thought 3 for tea

24 Tough Questions Charlotte Waller, far left, in first grade in Biggersville, Mississippi.

When do we tell our child she’s adopted?

26 Author Q&A Brandon resident’s book can help you win financially

cover story

28 What’s Going On Hearts of Compassion 5K

16 Charlotte Waller Faith, family and tea parties

in every issue

feature 22 Adopting a passion Formans find their purpose in foster care

6 Editor’s Letter 30 Quips & Quotes 30 Advertiser Index

Coming next month

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601.790.9076 mschristianliving.com Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2021 by MS Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area. Subscriptions are $29 a year. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, P.O. Box 1819, Madison, MS 39130.

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EDITOR’S LETTER

Teacups, cowboy boots and finding our worth

STEGALL IMAGERY

eeling a little like a bull in a china shop, I and my cowboy boots clomped

Sharing a laugh with Charlotte Waller while interviewing her for our cover story.

6 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

into a beautiful room that could only be described as a parlor. It featured a full-length portrait of a former Mississippi First Lady, a piano, and probably at least one doily. But I’d been in this house before. Charlotte and Bill Waller and I used to go to church together, and they’ve hosted many gatherings for “young singles” over the years. I’ve stuﬀed candy into plastic Easter eggs in the dining room, attended an engagement party on the back patio, and now I can say I’ve drunk tea in the aforementioned parlor. So despite feeling like a redneck in a dollhouse, I quickly settled in, thanks to Charlotte’s hospitality and lack of pretense. The laughter in the photo on this page is real, and I needed it. I’m going to be honest with y’all: There are days when I feel like a failure. Maybe I don’t get very far on my to-do list, or I speak to a friend in anger and wonder if we’re “OK” even after apologizing. Then there are days when I feel pretty important. Maybe somebody I respect pays me a big compliment, or I’m asked to do something “leader-y” and it goes to my head. But here’s the truth about my failures and successes, and yours too: They do not determine our worth. You know what does? The death and resurrection of the Son of God, who voluntarily paid for all our sin. He says we are worth His life. Not because of our own merits, but simply because He loves us. If you grew up in the Bible Belt, you probably have a hard time reading those lines with fresh eyes. You’ve heard the gospel so much, your ears have grown dull to it. I know that’s true of myself. Sometimes we need to take note of God’s small blessings — a cup of tea with a friend, a comfy pair of cowboy boots, a favorite song on the radio — and let them point us to Himself and His love. Gratitude for our blessings is a huge help in remembering God’s grace, and not just around Thanksgiving. Another thing we can do? Take our eyes oﬀ ourselves altogether. That’s something I’m still learning. According to the Bible, the most important command God gives us is to love

Him and love others. And true love requires sacrifice. But here’s the weird thing: The sacrifice is worth it. In Isaiah 53, the prophet says it “pleased” God the Father for His Son to die. Not because the Father enjoyed watching the Son suffer, but because afterward, “the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.” What’s the pleasure of the Lord? Well, at least partly, a relationship with us. He decided we were worth His sacrifice. Once we choose to rest in this truth and surrender our lives to the One who gave His life for us, everything changes. We can stop fixating on ourselves, because we have found our worth and value in what Jesus did for us. We can consider how our words and actions will affect others, because Jesus died for them too. We can not only attend worship, but also serve our church body and in that way serve our Savior. We can see others as God sees them — as worth the sacrifice. None of this is possible in our own strength. But praise God, we have His to lean on. So, do you feel like a failure because you haven’t measured up to a certain standard? Or are you subtly taking credit for the grace God has given you? In either case, remember Jesus’ sacrifice. Our worth is found in Him — if we could’ve earned it, He never would have died. Let’s take God at His Word, thank Him for His love, and ask Him to help us spread it around. Maybe we can host tea parties like Charlotte, featured in our cover story on page 16. Maybe we can foster or adopt a child, like the couple in our feature story on page 22. Or maybe we can follow God to places we’d rather not go, like CJ Rhodes, who wrote this month’s Mission Mississippi Moments on page 13. Whether you’re in a season of “success” or “failure” by whatever definition, I hope you’re able to find your worth in Jesus Christ, and hopefully some inspiration and encouragement in this month’s edition. Enjoy! Y

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 7

OUTSIDE IN

by CHRIS BATES

A mountain perspective

e have been fortunate to have been on a lot of mountains.

Looking back over the years, my wife, Stacy, and I have experienced elevations from the highest points in Colorado and the Carolinas to the peaks around Lake Yojoa in Honduras. It seems that we have sought these mountain experiences because of the vastness, the beauty, and sometimes the solitude. Typically an adventure such as a hike or a scenic drive took us to one of these areas where the view was breathtaking. There is a sense of awe from being able to see great distances. Perspectives shift when we can see further than our immediate surroundings and take in the grandness of what God built. Typically, with it comes pausing to reﬂect, and then appreciation. As people, we easily understand that amazing scenery gives us that broader scope, and with it hopefully comes thankfulness. So how can we take those lessons from mountaintop views and use them daily? There is a similar grandness, if we look with open eyes and hearts, through the connectivity to those around us. God wired us to relate. In doing so, we can appreciate the perspective shift outside of ourselves through a focus on others. Think for a moment about a time when you were able to help someone, even if in a small way, and the smile that it brought to them. Reﬂect on an instance when someone helped you and the sincere appreciation you felt for what they had done. Our inherent human nature is faulty, as we all know. We are often distracted by things that matter little, and therefore we often don’t have

Columnist Chris Bates and his wife, Stacy.

the perspective in our daily lives that can help us reach our true potential. That potential includes being of service to others and God. The Greek word “telos” was utilized by Aristotle and referred to the full potential of a person or thing. It appears that as a philosopher in his time, he knew that our human nature leads us to fall short, often unable to reach our telos. Despite where we are in life at this moment, whether on a mountain or in a valley, we do have a choice as to our perspective. We choose

the lens through which we look at life each day, regardless of our circumstances. There are always others who are more challenged, lonely or hurt. At the same time, there are always people whom we aspire to emulate who have a better perspective on life today. In our world as Christians, we have many simple tools that can get us more on track. Colossians 3 gives direction to those made alive in Christ, and verse 15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace; and be thankful.” Paul’s words tell us that peace and Stacy Bates on a gratitude are keys. C.S. Lewis provided mission trip. us a more speciﬁc way to see it when he said, “Gratitude looks to the Past and love to the Present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.” We are wise to be intentional and deliberate, making sure of how we look at what is right in front of us. We also need speciﬁc ways to achieve that, and prayer is one of our most powerful tools as believers. Be challenged to ask for His help to have focus and perspective to serve Him and others best. The view becomes even more amazing. Y Chris Bates is CEO and co-founder of AgoraEversole a full-service marketing agency in Jackson, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraEversole.com. He and his wife, Stacy, and their children live in Madison.

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8 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

COMMUNITY OUTREACH

by AUDRY ENNS

Mission First celebrates 20 years of changing lives

od tells us in the Bible that He can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. In 1997,

after seven murders in an eight-block area, the leaders of Jackson’s West Park community invited leadership from across the city to help bring change to the area. Believing that God charges His people to be a catalyst for change, and through the power of prayer, the abandoned Rosedown Apartments were made available for converting into a place that would meet the needs of the community. Participants in Mission First’s OASIS elementary after-school program. In 2001, Mission First opened the doors of its first campus on Roseneath Avenue. The first phase was converting the Rosedown Apartments. Soon after, the second phase of constructing a multipurpose building with a cafeteria, classrooms, offices and a full-size gymnasium was completed. From there, the ministries grew in number of staff, volunteers, patients and students as God met the needs both of Mission First as an organization and The Mission First site before (left) and after. the individuals being served. In 2016, Mission First merged with the one another, and participate in educational Neighborhood Christian Center and Peyton’s service projects throughout the year. This is enrichment activities. All in all, Mission First’s House, a young men’s after-school program on done mainly through volunteer groups who after-school and summer programs offer Ash Street. work on projects to develop the community. educational enrichment for approximately 150 Another step forward was launching These include construction, demolition and students annually. Many of these students Mission First’s Early Learning Center for K3 have attended college and started their in 2018. Since its opening, they have added vocational training, with several entering a K4 and K5 class. This ministry provides the military and law enforcement. affordable, biblically based education to Through Mission First’s partnership with families in the area. Mission First’s ELC is the Mississippi College School of Law, their poised to meet a critical need for young legal ministry has been an advocate for children in such a way that they may create families navigating civil law matters and a ripple effect with wide-ranging impact on has served between 1,500 and 1,600 clients. Mississippi communities. Most importantly, Because of this ministry, families are being ELC students are given the greatest restored and children are being adopted foundation anyone can give them by into Christian homes. understanding that they are created in Each one of Mission First’s ministries has God’s image for His purpose. touched the lives of many and shed God’s The Ministries of the Lantern Clinic in light when it was urgently needed. Mission Rankin County recently began a First is thankful that God has allowed its partnership with Mission First’s medical and Sports ministry at Mission First. ministries to grow over the past 20 years. dental clinic, which has expanded Mission God has worked through Mission First to First’s resources to meet the needs of help others in meeting needs, building patients without dental and medical insurance. painting, widow ministries such as yard work relationships and experiencing faith! Y Patients have benefitted from the clinic’s and domestic projects, and street clean-up. diagnoses with the use of CT scans, MRIs and Despite the challenges of 2020, Mission ultrasounds. Graciously, the Lord has allowed First was able to add a new ministry last year: Audry Enns is the Mission First Mission First to provide medical and dental Peyton’s House Girls. This ministry is an communications director. She is a wife and care to approximately 3,000 patients per year. extension of Peyton’s House Guys and offers mom living in Fondren who is passionate Mission First’s Neighborhood Revitalization about her community, food, and the great middle-school girls the opportunity to receive outdoors. ministry is mobilizing hundreds of people in help with homework, study God’s Word with mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 9

MODERN MOTHERHOOD

by LIBBO CROSSWHITE

What to do when you’re drowning

atthew 14:23-33 has been my goto passage for the last several weeks. Maybe it’s because I feel like

as a mom, I am being asked to walk on water but find myself drowning most days. I hope you’ll read the passage before we dive in (no pun intended) to what I confidently believe someone this month needs to hear. “And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, ‘It is a ghost!’ and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.’ “And Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’ And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’” There is a God who wants to rescue you from the weight of your fears, your failures, your brokenness, your missed expectations, your broken home, your missteps in motherhood. That feeling of drowning, isolation or shame that you may find yourself in? There is a God who wants to pull you out of the waters of your circumstances. As I prayed through these scriptures this month, I kept asking God to show Himself in these words and bring them to life. What did God want me to point each of you to in this story? What is God trying to teach us?

us out of our sin. In this story, Jesus points to the fact that doubt is a natural part of faith. He loves us enough to meet us in the waters of our uncertainties.

REMEMBER

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What is the measure of success for your faith? Is it about you? Or is it about what Jesus has done for you? We make our faith so small and difficult when we place the emphasis on us and what we’ve done or haven’t done.

”

world WILL NOT SATISFY my innate desire to be loved and known, which is what all insecurity ultimately boils down to. So I will look at this story and be reminded of my need for RELIANCE on the Jesus who calmed the storm, walked on water, and pulled Peter from his drowning.

REMAIN RELY Rely on God’s power in your life, even when the winds are blowing. “Reliance” has been the word that God has continually pointed me to in this season. I am a recovering people pleaser. Man, I ﬁght the battle of insecurity each and every day: I generally want people to like me, worry what others might think of the type of job I’m doing — in the right context, it’s OK to want to do well, but it had become an idol for me. God’s Word reminds me that this broken 10 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Remain in God’s presence, in His Word, even when you feel yourself drowning from the weight of expectations. Remain steadfast in seeking Him in all things. Jesus remains in the darkness that the disciples experienced. You’ll notice the scripture says He was watching the boat from afar. This reminds us that Jesus remains with us in both the good and the bad. He is calling us to remain steadfast in His love, even when it doesn’t make sense or is uncomfortable or calls

Jesus asks us to remember not only His power but the power we have through Him. Jesus is still Lord. Jesus still walked on water. Jesus still defeated death. It’s not about perfection — that’s Jesus’ role. What is the measure of success for your faith? Is it about you? Or is it about what Jesus has done for you? We make our faith so small and diﬃcult when we place the emphasis on us and what we’ve done or haven’t done — that’s religion. Jesus allows us to be in a true, loving relationship because He truly loves us. So much so that He died a death we deserved as broken, sinful people, and made a way for you and me to be made whole. Remember that He knows the depths of your soul, your brokenness, your failures, and remember He is with you even when it feels like you’re all alone. You don’t have to pretend to have it together, because Jesus knows you don’t. He is calling you out into the waters of fully trusting Him. Peter here is a classic example of what happens when our minds shift from Christ to self, or from Christ to circumstance: We. Will. SINK. Our goal is to rely on Jesus, remain in His presence and remember His goodness. I think it’s important to remind ourselves that Jesus knew as He was pulling Peter out of the water that Peter would eventually deny Him. Jesus knew Peter would fail Him, but Jesus also knew that His body wasn’t just rescuing him out of the water on that day — His blood eventually would cover all of Peter’s iniquities. And it covers yours and mine. That’s what God has for each of us. You are worthy of being pulled out of the water, and ultimately Jesus has made a way for you to be worthy of relationship with Him. That truth is reliable, will remain, and is worth remembering. Y

Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary Thomas, who is 8 years old, and a son, Russell, who is 5 years old. She is the high school guidance counselor at Madison-Ridgeland Academy and can be emailed at lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 11

HEALTH & WELLNESS

by CHRIS FIELDS

5 HEALTHY TIPS for the holidays

he Lord has tasked me with a couple of callings, and one is serving as a diabetes educator. Being a health

professional, especially one who deals in lifestyles, you see a lot of things that might go unnoticed by the naked eye. Recently I witnessed a diabetic take a dose of insulin just to have a donut. That may seem normal to those around him, but to those who know better, it’s not a normalcy at all, and sadly this is what happens when we only address the fruit of a thing and not the root. This is what happens when we have a safety net; in this person’s case, their safety net was using insulin to still indulge in the same habits that got them A lot of times we to the point of being insulin dependent use (God’s grace) as a to live. safety net to atone for As Christians, we use God and His the mistakes we have grace and mercy the same way. A lot of no intention of times we use it as a safety net to atone for the mistakes we have no intention of correcting. The same correcting. The same goes for our health goes for our health and healing, especially when dealing with and healing. diseases caused by living a lifestyle contrary to how God made the human body. Overindulging in certain foods and underutilizing our physical abilities and capabilities deviate from the nature in which the human

“

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body was created, and medicine serves as our grace and mercy allowing us to continue in our actions with no true repentance. With the holidays coming up, this seems to be the best time discuss overindulgence and inactivity, but I don’t want to be a downer, especially since the holidays are ﬁlled with family, food and inactivity. I do want to encourage everyone to eat responsibly, and to give you a few tips on atoning for some mistakes that will be made this upcoming holiday season.

TIP 1: Eat responsibly. This is the time of year most of us wait on to partake in some of our favorite holiday foods and desserts like turkey and cornbread dressing, mac and cheese, yams and ham, and all the other ﬁxings we like. Eating responsibly is not depriving yourself of those goodies, it’s making sure we are eating proper portion sizes and ﬁnding a balance in the foods we want while also partaking in the foods we need.

TIP 2: Drink responsibly. I know I’m speaking to good Christian folks who don’t partake in the wine or the swine, right? So by this, I mean watch your liquid calories. Remember, drinks have calories. Limiting your liquid calories may help stave oﬀ some unwanted holiday pounds.

TIP 3: Continue or establish a regular exercise regimen. Food is fuel, and during the holidays we eat a lot of it. I know we are used to the adage “Whatever we don’t use, we lose.” Oh how we wish that was the case for excess weight. Unfortunately, our body stores unused energy in the form of fat, and the more we store, the more our fat cells expand. Exercise is the best way not only to burn stored energy but also to ensure that the new energy we intake is metabolized properly.

TIP 4: Be more physically active. I know this might sound like tip 3, but it’s not. Physical activity is any movement carried out by the muscles, whereas exercise is planned, repetitive, structured, intentional movements sustained for a period. Being more physically active can be standing more, walking more and just moving more in general. We want to get in the habit of breaking long periods of rest, lying or sitting. Because the types of foods we eat during the holidays are heavy, carb-ﬁlled comfort foods, they slow us down and cause us to be tired. Breaking long periods of rest with physical activity will help us utilize the energy we just consumed.

TIP 5: Enjoy your family and friends. One thing that’s not stressed enough when it comes to our physical health is our mental health. They go hand in hand. Our mental aﬀects our physical and vice versa. The Lord created us for community. He made us to need each other, just as He made us to need Him. Y

Chris Fields is the founder and executive director of H.E.A.L. Mississippi and a graduate in kinesiology with advance studies in nutrition. He serves as a clinical exercise physiologist/CPT and is credentialed in Exercise Is Medicine through American College of Sports Medicine. 12 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

MISSION MISSISSIPPI MOMENTS

by DR. CJ RHODES

How God brought me back to Mississippi

ike many millennial peers, when I moved out of Mississippi in 2006 to attend divinity school, I wasn’t coming back. For years, I dreamed of life far away from home, and I instantly fell in love with Duke University and the Raleigh-Durham community. Barring that pitiful pulled pork and vinegar they call barbecue, Durham was the best of both worlds: a Southern city with the charm and hospitality associated with Mississippi, but with the cosmopolitan progress synonymous with the East Coast. Had it not been for a word from God, I might still be in North Carolina today. That word rushed into my heart following a several-hours-silent retreat during my ﬁrst semester at Duke Divinity School. I sensed the Lord clearly instructing me to return to Jackson, my Jerusalem. There was work for me to do back home, a place I’d just left and wasn’t interested in returning to except to visit family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then, too, was the anxiety about vocational life — what would there be for me to do in a state with shrinking opportunities for young professionals, especially African American ones? That was 2006. As months and years passed, I became more convinced that North Carolina was home, and that God would have to perform a miracle to get me back to Mississippi. In summer 2008, while on a pilgrimage in Brazil, I experienced just that. In one of those brief moments of Internet access, I checked my email and discovered a message from Dolphus Weary asking to meet with me about

possibilities with Mission Mississippi. He’d read an op-ed I’d recently written challenging Mission Mississippi to broaden its approach to racial reconciliation. I thought the proposed meeting was going to be a rebuke. It turned out to be an affirmation and an open door. Approximately a year later, just a day after graduating from Duke, I was headed home to start working with Mission Mississippi. This was an answered prayer for divine provision and more. Through this ministry, I met wonderful pastors and leaders across racial and denominational lines throughout the state, and I ultimately got connected to the church I now pastor. I still remember attending Days of Dialogue, prayer breakfasts and pastors’ luncheons and being able to grow deep friendships with fellow Jesus followers from Grenada to Gulfport. God used Mission Mississippi to align my passions and purposes in a state God ordained me to serve. God used Dolphus, who’d also said, “I ain’t comin’ back,” and others to confirm the word of the Lord. I am better for it. Galatians 5:13 states, “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” We often think of sin in terms of “big ticket” moral failures, the kind that break up marriages and end careers. But as the African bishop and theologian Augustine of Hippo noted, sin in a deeper way is about being curved inward, about selfgratification and self-aggrandizement. It takes

the Spirit of God to compel us to serve others rather than ourselves. Emulating Christ, the Suffering Servant, requires nothing short of grace. I experienced this grace to return home and to learn and serve beside believers of different races, ages and denominations because of Mission Mississippi. I have sacrificed much as a millennial by remaining in Mississippi, and I know this ministry of reconciliation has helped me see my freedom as a resource to help others in churches and communities needing to experience the amazing grace and unlimited love of God beyond the cultural Christianity that dominates this fertile land. As the song says, If I can help somebody, as I travel along If I can help somebody, with a word or song If I can help somebody, from doing wrong No, my living shall not be in vain I like to think relationships forged in Mission Mississippi have helped me serve others in love, thereby affirming that my living here in a state I desperately wanted to leave and never return to years ago will not be in vain. #ServingOneAnother Y

CJ Rhodes, a Mission Mississippi board member, is pastor of Mt. Helm Baptist Church in Jackson and director of the Hiram Rhodes Revels Institute for Ethical Leadership at Alcorn State University. He and his wife, Allison, are parents of twin sons. mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 13

THIS IS MY STORY

by RUTH W. SANDERS

What I learned as my mother’s caregiver

ost of my adult life, I have been visiting friends, family and associates in nursing homes or assisted living facilities. I learned early that

God had a calling on my life. I never knew the journey would involve becoming a caregiver to my mother. God allows us to encounter problems so we can share our story and help others. “Who comforteth us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God,” 2 Corinthians 1:4. Caregiving is a rewarding but challenging journey. The journey can happen to an individual at any stage of his or her life. The most important thing is to make sure that you have discussed this topic with your spouse, parents, siblings and friends. The journey of caregiving is ﬁlled with many decisions, which are made easier if you know the wishes of your care recipient. You will need to discuss many things: an advance directive, last will and testament, and power of attorney. Does your loved one want to donate their organs, or not; stay in their home, or relocate to an assisted living or long-term facility? I discussed these issues with my mother when she was cognitively intact. These conversations are never easy but are necessary. We all have heard of the generation gap. My mother was from the Silent Generation, or what is also called the traditionalists. I am what is called a Baby Boomer. I had to accept that my mother and I had a communication problem. Also, I still had children at home when I ﬁrst started my caregiving journey with my mother. I was still working full time, going to graduate school and carrying on with my life. I came across a word that described me perfectly: sandwich. I thought about that and had to smile. Yes, I felt like a sandwich (caught in the middle). I had to be available to take my mother to her medical appointments, shop for groceries and clothes, make sure her bills were paid, and balance her checkbook. Also, my journey with my mother started when she was in one city and I was in another. The 90-mile back-and-forth trips lasted for more than a decade.

14 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

I retired from the Department of Defense in 2005 after working as a clinical registered nurse. I thought I would have more time to spend with my family and my mother. My goal was to help alleviate some of the stress in my life. However, Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast where I lived in 2005. We decided in 2006 to move. If you have ever moved, you know that moving is extremely stressful. My stress level was off the charts. I also could see that my mother was showing changes in her health. She was 90 in 2005 and was living in an apartment. She required more help. I called her several times a day. I reminded her to take her medications and made sure she was OK. I had to hire someone to deliver her lunch and dinner. She was able to prepare her own breakfast. I was never really able to relax. I was on pins and needles thinking she might fall, and I wanted her to wear a necklace that would alert me if she fell. She refused to comply with my request. I realized there were boundaries I could not breach with my mother, but as a nurse, I knew she should have worn the necklace for safety. In October 2006, our lives changed. My husband and I had just moved in August. I had no idea that in two months I would be moving my mother in with us. She fell one day, and I had to travel two hours to get her off the floor. I thank God she was not seriously injured. I had to “care-proof” my house. I had to make sure I had grab bars in the shower, grab bars near the commode, an elevated toilet seat, and no “throw rugs.” Caregiving is very demanding. Through all this, I learned many lessons on my journey:

“I still had children at home when I first started my caregiving journey with my mother. I was still working full time, going to graduate school and carrying on with my life. I came across a word that described me perfectly: sandwich. I thought about that and had to smile. Yes, I felt like a sandwich (caught in the middle).

”

◼ Learn to prioritize tasks. ◼ Not all things can be accomplished in a ◼ Encourage family members to assist in single day.

your loved one’s care, and accept help from church members.

◼ Join caregiver support groups. ◼ Take care of yourself. ◼ Get rid of the guilt. Y

Ruth Sanders is the wife of Bill Sanders and the mother of two adult children. She has over four decades of experience as a professional nurse, has an advanced degree in adult health, and is the author of several books and many professional articles. Her book “My Parent, My Child: Love Conquers All” is available at AuthorHouse.com or on Amazon (see page 27).

If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:

✝ THE PROBLEM

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).

✝ THE SOLUTION

…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!

✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9

✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?

Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.

✝ THE RESULTS

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13

Therefore being justiﬁed by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17 If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans! Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith. If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 15

COVER STORY

by KATIE EUBANKS

hen you walk into Bill and Charlotte Waller’s house, you know you’re going to be taken care of. That’s not because the home itself is the color of a shortbread cookie, or because a cat nuzzles your leg before you reach the door. It’s because Charlotte oﬀers you tea and homemade scones. Even if you’re there technically to work. “I like (the Bible verse) ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ Because I like to go and do. That whole story of Martha and Mary,” Charlotte says, laughing. Much like busy Martha in the New Testament, Charlotte is prepared and hospitable beyond need. She barely stops serving photographer Deryll Stegall (and this writer) long enough to let Deryll take pictures of her. But the similarities end there. Unlike Martha in that biblical incident, Charlotte has learned how to “be still” at the feet of Jesus. That’s where she received His guidance for her “heavenly” tea parties, which she’s hosted for children, church groups, brides to be, and many others since 1986. Her love of serving started decades before that.

Charlotte Waller

Faith, family, and ‘heavenly’ tea parties

16 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

STEGALL IMAGERY

From Biggersville to the bigger city Charlotte hails from Biggersville, an unincorporated town of about 200 people located near Corinth in northeast Mississippi. “There were no red lights. We had a cotton gin, a school,” Charlotte says. “We went to a little Presbyterian church that would have maybe 50 on Easter.” At 7 or 8 years old, Charlotte learned the act of serving from her grandmother Ardena M. Honnell, aka “Othermama.” “She would get me to serve her (church) circle group coﬀee, tea, and a piece of (cake),” Charlotte says. The ladies thanked her enthusiastically, and that positive reinforcement stuck with her over the years.

In addition to “Othermama,” Charlotte grew up surrounded by loving Christian relatives who encouraged her. “The words ‘Jesus’ and ‘God’ were (as common as) ‘Mother’ and ‘Daddy.’ I just loved Him with the mind and heart of a child,” she says. At 14 years old, she attended a revival and, for the first time, understood her need to love Christ with her life. “Yes, I knew Him and loved Him for what I knew, but I’d never given Him my heart. That (decision) changed my life forever ... He kept me strong with good friends through college.” She finished school at Mississippi State University and stayed on for her master’s degree in elementary education while teaching kindergarten at First Presbyterian Church in Starkville. After that, she was moving to one of two places: Jackson or Memphis. Only problem was, neither city had an open teaching position in the public school system. “And see, I only knew public school,” she says. “Then sitting on my dorm bed, I wrote down all the kindergartens — because I had an emphasis in setting up kindergartens — including Jackson Academy.” She got an interview and ended up teaching for 11 years at JA: three years of second grade, then eight years of kindergarten. Meanwhile, the girl from the little Presbyterian church in Biggersville started visiting a couple of churches in the Jackson area, including First Baptist Jackson. “I lived at North Hill Square (Apartments in Jackson). I would go down North State Street in my Volkswagen (which we still have in the carport to this day). I was afraid to go on the Interstate, afraid I’d get knocked off the road.” One day she called her mom: “Mom, what would you think if I joined First Baptist Church?” “Well, I think you should go wherever God leads you.” One Sunday a couple years later, “I was walking up the stairs and (Bill) was coming down, and he reached out his hand and (introduced himself),” Charlotte recalls. She and her roommate at North Hill Square hosted a tailgate party one day. The roommate asked Bill to the party, and Charlotte asked another guy. But things happen. “Bill got to know my grandmother (who had a connection to his family),” Charlotte says. “(He) loved the food, and (afterward) he started calling me and asking, ‘Is there any of that food left?’ Then he kept coming over. Then when the food was gone, he brought a

Charlotte has always loved cheering Bill on.

Exercise and tea

Charlotte and Bill said “I do” 42 years ago.

Mississippi State cheese and said, ‘Why don’t you make us a sandwich?’ “It was a slow growth of the relationship.” After dating for a year, Charlotte and Bill got married.

All the ‘heavenly’ tea Ever since serving her grandmother’s friends tea and dessert in Biggersville, Charlotte loved the idea of serving people via tea parties. The ﬁrst time she hosted one was for daughter Jeannie’s fourth birthday, in 1986. “Her (preschool) class came over. We iced

“If I had to sum up my life and the tools I use to share Jesus, it has been through exercise and tea parties,” Charlotte says. While doing aerobics sounds like the polar opposite of sitting around drinking tea, Charlotte is passionate about both. “Teaching exercise classes at (the) First Baptist Christian Life Center for 34 years (has) been a big part of my life. As we are spending some of our time in Oxford now … I started exercise classes in the gym at Grace Bible Church this past June. We meet on Mondays and Fridays (from) 9 to 10 (a.m.). “Exercise is a great way to share the Lord through the Christian music we use. (And we always end) each class at First Baptist and at Grace Bible with a truth from God’s Word and prayer.” In 2006, she combined her love of tea and good health by hosting “A Heavenly Healthy Tea” for 100 women and guests at First Baptist Jackson. Yes, healthy teaparty snacks exist! Charlotte suggests serving green, herbal or decaf tea; turkey, tomato or cucumber sandwiches; scones made with reduced-fat pancake mix; and, of course, a dessert of strawberries dipped in dark chocolate.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 17

PHOTOS STEGALL IMAGERY

Charlotte with a dozen of her approximately 40 teacups, each one unique.

cookies,” Charlotte says. The girls got dolled up at “salon stations,” while the boys had their own games and activities. (Charlotte also has hosted a couple of more boy-friendly “cowboy teas,” complete with red-checkered tablecloths and bandanas.) Counting Jeannie and 12 nieces (including Bill’s side of the family), Charlotte has hosted close to 50 tea parties over the years for female relatives alone. The girls have each gotten a tea party when they turned 4 and 10, when they graduated high school, and a “bridal tea” if they got married. For little girls’ parties, “we’ll make a bead bracelet, polish their nails, do blush and shiny lips — and we’ll talk about manners. By the

time we do their tea party, it really settles them down,” Charlotte says. “I put a little sparkle on their cheek when they say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ because ‘that means you’re a special princess.’ (At one party) that whole table was ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ And the mommas thank me.” The tea parties started out being just for fun — but soon, God added His aroma to the brew. “It all triggered from me doing my tea parties for young children and doing ﬂuﬀ and (feather) boas and saying a prayer or blessing — but that prayer touched the hearts of those parents and grandparents (who were there). And from that, I was just really convicted that I wanted to use (tea parties) to glorify the Lord,” Charlotte says.

Charlotte uses each part of her tea parties as a spiritual symbol. The cream (left) represents the choices we make, and the sugar (right) represents the sweetness of living for Christ. 18 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

“One day I was having my morning devotional on Psalm 19:1, ‘The heavens declare the glory of God, and the skies proclaim the work of his hands,’ and (God said to me) ‘Do it with a tea party. You love tea parties. Use it to glorify Me.’ “And the Lord just began to give me different symbols for the parts of the tea party that I use,” she says. “So that’s what I share.” Part of the appeal of a tea party is getting to drink out of a beautiful teacup — usually one of a matching set. But while Charlotte does have matching teacups from when she got married, she never uses those for tea parties. Instead, each teacup at her parties is different, just like the people using them. “I got the (teacup symbolism partially) from the Emilie Barnes book ‘If Teacups Could Talk.’ Teacups are all different, and they all break,” Charlotte says. “We all have stains and cracks, and so I like to use old teacups and stained ones and cracked ones and all kinds. … and I have collected them I guess now for 34 years. So I do have a collection (of about 40),” she says. “If they break, it’s not a big deal. And I have glued some back together, because that’s part of the analogy. When we are broken with

whatever breaks us in life, then God puts us back together.” The tea tray symbolizes a believer’s foundation in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. “We live in a fallen world. But the tray still holds the teacup,” she says. The teapot symbolizes God, and the tea represents His Holy Spirit, whom He pours into believers. “(God says) ‘If you come to Me, you’ll overflow.’” In Biggersville, “we didn’t have sugar cubes,” Charlotte says, laughing, but these days she uses them to symbolize “the sweetness of growing in Jesus.” She encourages tea party attendees to “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8) and to fill their lives with sweet things that bring Him glory. The cream represents the choices we make. “Choose this day whom you will serve,” Charlotte says, quoting Joshua 24:15. On the day she started receiving all this tearelated symbolism from God, Charlotte was sitting on her back porch with her tea, her devotional, and a rose, which had dried up since she cut it. God reminded her of John 15:5, where Jesus tells His disciples, “I am the vine, and you are the branches. Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” So the flowers at her tea parties symbolize our growth in Christ as we stay rooted in His love. “Keep a flower in the ground and it’ll grow and flourish,” she says. “After a day or two (of not spending time with God), I’m not a good wife, grandmother or friend.” Also with Charlotte that day was a simple white Kroger napkin. God brought more truth to her mind: “I wash your sins away as far as east is from west, and I cover you, and you are as white as snow.”

For Charlotte, the teapot symbolizes God filling us to overflowing with His Holy Spirit.

Some folks put lemon in their tea, but nobody wants to be told to expect “lemons” in life. Still, Charlotte includes the lemon as another symbol at her tea parties. “We don’t want to upset anybody, but I think I tried to protect (my kids) too much. I wish I had told them, ‘In this world you will have trouble,’” she says, quoting Jesus in Matthew 16:33. “Sour things happen to people all the time, sometimes by choice, and sometimes it’s just part of life. But if you take a lemon and squeeze it in your tea, it enhances the ﬂavor of the tea. (God says) ‘When the sour things come, squeeze My hand and keep walking.’ “We pray not to get bitter, but to turn around and look for someone we can help. “Just in our family, there have been disappointments and heartaches. My dad went through Parkinson’s really bad. You’re never the same, but if you know who the Lord is, you can step forward.”

Her own lemons Charlotte has seen dear friends lose loved ones far too soon. She herself lost her father to

Charlotte decorates her tea trays with roses or other flowers, which symbolize our growth in Christ as we stay rooted in Him.

Parkinson’s, and her mother is currently receiving hospice care in Oxford. “God doesn’t bend us and break us just once. We all have crosses. Some seem heavier than others,” she says. Even the everyday struggles of a mother are nothing to sneeze at, as she and Bill have raised their three kids to adulthood: “I think as a mom, the hardest thing for me is to let my children go and let them make their own decisions,” she says. “But I think God has grown me in that. (He’s said) ‘I gave them to you. They’re not really yours. They’re on loan.’” Over the last few years, she says, “if anything’s changed my life … it’s been hiding

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Grandkids Grey (left) and Ella Charlotte Zieren. Charlotte, right, in first grade in Biggersville.

Charlotte, top right, was a cheerleader at Mississippi State University.

The Waller kids. From left, William, Clayton and Jeannie at Graceland in Memphis.

Bill’s campaign for governor

“Othermama” with Charlotte’s daughter, Jeannie.

God’s Word in my heart. I tried to memorize one verse a week, and after a year you have 52 verses.” Spoiler alert: She does not have all 52 verses memorized. But she’s still working on it. “I hope it’ll keep my brain sharp,” she says with a laugh. In all seriousness, she says, “When you don’t know where to go or what to do, that’s where to go. In this day and time, everybody has something they stand on — but the truth is the Word of God. “We have to have that daily quiet time, ask Him to ﬁll us, put on His armor, and just pray — and leave the rest to the Lord.” 20 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

When Charlotte and Bill ﬁrst got married, he was practicing law with his father, who had served as governor of Mississippi. Bill also wound up working in state government: After 20 years of law practice, he served 21 years on the Mississippi Supreme Court — 10 of those as chief justice. When he retired in January 2019, he and Charlotte planned simply to retire to Oxford, to be near grandkids and Charlotte’s mother. “But as he announced his retirement, he had people begin to call him and ask him to consider running for governor. And so after much prayer — and we talked about it, and sought wise counsel, (and) prayed some more — we decided that he was very qualiﬁed, and I was behind him, because everything he’s ever done, he does with all of his heart,” Charlotte says. “So we stepped out in faith, and we claimed

Proverbs 3:5-6, to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge Him, and He would direct our paths. “I knew he would do his very best and let God do the rest. He’s done that in all our 42 years of marriage. … And my favorite thing is, I’ve always loved cheering him on, whatever he does or seeks to do.” (No surprise there: She was a cheerleader at Mississippi State.) They always tried to worship somewhere every Sunday, and they checked on Charlotte’s mother and the grandbabies anytime they were near Oxford. But Charlotte’s favorite part of the campaign — again, no surprise — was meeting people from all over Mississippi. “In my mind, Mississippi is a wonderful place, and I truly believe hospitality rang true from every town as we traveled the state,” she says. While Bill did not advance beyond the Republican primary runoﬀ, “it was a wonderful experience, I have no regrets, (Bill) has no regrets,” Charlotte says. “I think the biggest thing that I’ve learned is that you’re just always available and you try. (God) opens doors and He closes doors.”

Life now In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, “all of Jeannie’s babysitters had to go home,” Charlotte says. “Bill said, ‘We need to help her.’” With both Jeannie’s family and Charlotte’s mother in Oxford, the Wallers have been spending half their time there, but Charlotte isn’t quite ready to sell their Jackson home, which they’ve lived in for 36 years. “It hasn’t felt like the right move yet. It’s going to take a little. I get attached to stuﬀ.” In the meantime, she’ll keep pouring tea — probably until the last teacup is packed. Y

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

by CHARLOTTE WALLER by CAMILLE MORRIS

3 for tea

ccording to ancient legend, a Chinese emperor discovered tea in the 28th century B.C. The emperor boiled his drinking water for health reasons. When an evergreen leaf fell into his water, he loved the taste, and the news spread. Soon tea became part of the Chinese culture and others, from 17th-century England to the American colonies and the famous Boston Tea Party. Here are three recipes to use for your own tea party!

First course: Tea sandwiches Afternoon tea sandwiches are made from thinly sliced bread with crusts removed. Spread bread slices with unsalted butter, herb butter, mayonnaise or cream cheese. Add filling and cut into desired shapes. For open-faced sandwiches, top with a garnish for a perfect finishing touch. Decorate trays with paper or crochet doilies, fresh flowers or herbs. PIMENTO AND CHEESE SANDWICHES 1 pound hoop cheese, grated 1 small can pimentos, chopped fine (reserve some sliced, not chopped, for garnish) Dash of garlic powder Dash of Worcestershire 1 cup mayonnaise (more if needed to make a good spread) 1 loaf rye cocktail bread

Mix cheese, pimentos, garlic powder, Worcestershire and mayonnaise, and spread on rye slices. Top rye slices with pimento slice for garnish. NOTE: The pimento cheese spread will keep for weeks in refrigerator.

Second course: Scones and toppings Scones are simple to make. However, a packaged scone mix can also deliver good results. You can add extras to scones if desired. Try cut-up apples, currants, cinnamon, apricots, fresh blueberries, cranberries, walnuts or chocolate chips.

Third course: Delectable desserts Self-explanatory!

BASIC SCONES

Mix and spread on bottom of an oblong greased casserole or cookie sheet with sides. Top with a mixture of the following:

2 1 6 2 ½ ½

cups flour tablespoon baking powder tablespoons butter tablespoons sugar teaspoon salt cup buttermilk (or regular milk) Lightly beaten eggs

Mix dry ingredients. Cut in 6 tablespoons butter until mixture resembles course cornmeal. Make a well in center of batter and pour in buttermilk. Mix until dough clings together and is a bit sticky — do not over-mix. Turn out dough onto a floured surface and shape into a 6- to 8-inch round, about 1½ inches thick. Quickly cut into pie wedges or use a round biscuit cutter to make circles. The secret of tender scones is a minimum of handling. Place on ungreased cookie sheet, being sure scones don’t touch each other. Brush with egg for a shiny, beautiful brown scone. Bake at 425 degrees for 10-20 minutes or until light brown.

EASY AND DELICIOUS CHESS SQUARES 1 stick oleo, melted 1 box yellow cake mix 1 beaten egg

1 1 3 ½

(8-ounce) package cream cheese box sifted confectioner’s sugar eggs teaspoon vanilla

NOTE: For a sweet treat, soak sugar cubes in orange juice for less than 1 minute, then press into top of warm, plain scone.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 21

FEATURE STORY

by ANNA CLAIRE O’CAIN

Finding their purpose in foster care and adoption

“W

e always wanted a big family,” says Adrienne Forman, native of the Franklin County community of Roxie, and wife of nine years to Alex. “We weren’t

able to have children naturally, so that’s kind of what got us into foster care. “We had been married like four years and we had conceived a couple of times but were never able to carry to term,” Adrienne says. “After a while, we just had peace about not trying anymore and had peace that there was going to be a plan for our lives and that God was going to have not what we wanted for ourselves but His best for us. We knew He had something far better than we could imagine for ourselves.” As they prayed and obeyed God’s direction, He began opening doors for Adrienne and Alex. “Someone reached out to us and told us about Methodist (Children’s Homes of Mississippi), and there were so many things that lined up perfectly where we were able to go to all the classes, and it all fell together,” Adrienne says. “(Methodist has) three homes on campus, and they also have a foster care program. Start to ﬁnish, we had a child in our home within six months of even hearing the words ‘Methodist Children’s Home.’ The classes were condensed into four classes that we spent every weekend for four weekends getting certiﬁed and doing our home study and our background checks and all of that. We had a placement by Christmas. “It (foster care) has not been a stressful thing for us. It has been a beautiful thing from start to end. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just a peace — I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.”

From left: Aria, Alex (back), Adrienne and Josh Forman. “I can’t imagine not having them,” Adrienne says of Aria and Josh, biological siblings whom she and Alex adopted.

‘I can’t imagine not having them’ “We’ve been fostering for ﬁve years, and I think we’re on our 15th placement right now,” Adrienne says. “In December of 2019, we adopted our ﬁrst child (Aria) from foster care. Less than a year later, her brother (Josh) got placed with us — her biological brother. We just completed his adoption in June as well. “Now we’re fostering another child with the intentions of adopting. I can’t imagine not having them.”

‘They just need a family’ When asked what she wants others to know about adoption and foster care, Adrienne says there are a few facts that come to mind: “You don’t have to be the perfect parent — they don’t need a perfect parent — they don’t need the nicest house or the nicest cars — they 22 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

just need a family. They just need a home. They’re sleeping on the office (floors) of (the Mississippi Department of Human Services) because there’s not enough foster parents,” she says. “(Foster kids) don’t have anything to their name but a bag of random clothes that don’t even fit half the time, with holes in them. “Another thing that I would say is not to be afraid to foster older children. Everybody wants a baby, and I’ll say that Alex and I were no different than any other couple … when we got into this journey, we wanted to foster a baby, but there’s always somebody to take the babies. They don’t have a problem finding them a home. There are teenagers aging out of foster care every single day with no preparation — they are just dropped off at a bus stop with (only) enough money for a bus ticket. They

2 sobering statistics The number of children in foster care in the United States could ﬁll more than ﬁve Super Bowl stadiums. Source: safehavenvillage.org There are approximately 380,000 churches in the United States. If just two people from each of those churches adopted one foster child apiece, they’d all have a home. Source: Akron Beacon Journal

need stability and a forever family too,” Adrienne says. “(Older) children realize, sadly, they only have so many shots (at) adoption. … Most of them are great kids just wanting a family.

it. It takes some time, but in the long run, they’re more appreciative of it.”

An answered prayer

From left: Aria, Alex, Adrienne and Josh Forman. “They need stability and a forever family too,” Adrienne says of older foster children, who often age out of foster care due to lack of adoption.

Everybody thinks the teenagers will be terrible, but they are appreciative of stability for once in their lives because they’ve never really had

Adrienne and Alex have dedicated their lives to advocating and taking care of children through foster care and adoption. Their love for Christ and His people is exemplified through Deuteronomy 10:18 – “He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.” “What we thought was the worst thing ever, as far as not being able to have kids (biologically), actually was a huge answered prayer in us finding our ministry and finding our purpose,” Adrienne says. “(Adoption and foster care is) our passion. This is what we do. I can’t picture my life without doing it. I love it so much. … that’s what we’re called to do — to protect the widows and orphans.” In the United States alone, there are more than 400,000 children in foster care. Approximately 120,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted (adoptuskids.org). For more information on how to foster or adopt, visit the Methodist Children’s Homes of Mississippi website at mchms.org. Y

Alex (left) and Adrienne Forman. “What we thought was the worst thing ever, as far as not being able to have kids (biologically), actually was a huge answered prayer,” Adrienne says.

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 23

TOUGH QUESTIONS

by DR. FRED HALL, LPC

When do we tell our child she’s adopted? QUESTION: We adopted a child the same race as we are, and we don’t want her to feel different than her siblings, but we want to be truthful. When should we tell her she’s adopted? ANSWER: Thanks for your question, reader, and let me applaud your courage and ability to trust God and commit to adoption. Adoption is a theological and biblical principle, dating back to Old and New Testament times, where God adopts and justiﬁes the believer into the family of God. This is a legal act that provides not only the relationship but all the rights, privileges and responsibilities of a natural born or “begotten” son. Even so, telling a child about their adoptive story requires wisdom and courage. Sometimes the story is a beautiful one of care and appropriate placement of the child into a loving family, and then other stories include hard realities, incarcerated parents, and child removal into foster care. Regardless of the story, the truth is always better, and the child needs to start as early as possible learning why you chose him or her for your family. Wisdom dictates you start as early as possible and keep it matter of fact and honest. Tell the child and show them that they are loved and cared for. Remember that talking to your child about adoption is not a one-time event but a process. There should be many

conversations, as the child gets older, about their adoption story and how you reaﬃrm the decision to love them. Keep your conversation age appropriate. Although truthful, you don’t want to scare or confuse your child with detailed stories they may not comprehend. Select words and parts of the story that you feel the child can connect to and accept. Remember the adoption story is an ongoing one, not a single event. Make sure you have told the child before adolescence if possible. Children will think they have been lied to or deceived if you choose not to say anything about their adoption for years. This tends to backﬁre on parents and causes fear, doubt and resentment from the child toward both their natural and adoptive families. You know your child and how much they can handle. Share the story with them and other siblings to take the mystery out of it. Celebrate the beautiful life God has placed in your care, and treat them like any other sibling would be treated. Adoption is a beautiful story of love and choice. Communicate that love toward your child. Y

“Wisdom dictates you start as early as possible and keep it matter of fact and honest. Tell the child and show them that they are loved and cared for. Remember that talking to your child about adoption is not a one-time event but a process. There should be many conversations, as the child gets older, about their adoption story and how you reaffirm the decision to love them.

”

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Not everyone is called to adopt but everyone is called to do something. As Christians we have a stake in the adoption issue because Jesus does. He tells us that His Father is the Father of the fatherless. Psalm 68:5 When we encourage a culture of adoption, we are picturing something that is true about God. We, like Jesus, see what our Father is doing and do likewise. John 5:19 And what our Father is doing is fighting for orphans making them sons and daughters. LET'S DO LIKEWISE.

Here are two opport unities for you to ENCOURAGE T HE CULT UR E OF LIF E AND ADOPT ION. COUNTY

MONTH

YEAR

Complete and submit the Adoption Tag Application online to PLEDGE to pay $31 for the Adoption tag. Go to the website, click on the Purchase a Tag tab, Choose Adoption and complete the form. Submit. Your tag will be mailed to you.

Simply take your tag to your local tag office and ask for the Choose Life tag for $31. Your tag will be mailed to you within 7-10 days after placing the order.

By purchasing a C hoose Life tag, you are supporting over 40 Mississippi Pregnancy Care Centers to help fami lies CHOOSE LIF E for their babies.

Choose Life Mississippi 601.206.5816 ● ChooseLifeMississippi@gmail.com

CHOOSELIFEMS.ORG

mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 25

AUTHOR Q & A

by ANNA CLAIRE O’CAIN

Brandon resident’s book can help you win financially Bassfield native Neal Broome is a nearly 20-year resident of Brandon, a proud husband and father, a deacon and stewardship leader at his church, and has developed a career as an equity partner at Power Financial Group, LLC. Now he has released his first book, “Surrendering to Win: Finding Victory through Biblical Stewardship.” MCL Contributing Writer Anna Claire O’Cain spoke with Neal about how the book can help readers biblically navigate financial victory. Anna Claire O’Cain: What is the idea behind your book?

what it takes to win with money, it does start with an acknowledgement of God’s Neal Broome: There’s really two themes. ownership over that money, and then it One is surrender, as evident by the title, and becomes a matter of, what does His Word the other is stewardship. The way those two tie say about how to manage that money. I together is when we acknowledge that God is think many families, because they compare the owner of all things, and He created all themselves and their lifestyle to others’, end things and He created us. He entrusts to us From left: Neal, Max, Miles and Aubrey Broome. different things like our time and our resources up spending money unnecessarily and maybe getting themselves into financial and our talents that He gives us. When we difficulty. So that is where acknowledge Him as owner, contentment comes in. If then we just become someone can truly be content borrowing against our future to buy things managers of those things. We Surrendering that we feel like (having) today, and if we are and just manage well the don’t have to feel like we’re in to not careful, we’ll get ourselves in a position resources entrusted to them, as much control and have to where it can take a huge toll on the family, the the money that comes into determine outcomes. So that’s marriage, the entire financial picture. their household, and not feel where surrender comes in.

win

Finding Victory through Biblical Stewardship like they have to keep up If we can acknowledge that with the Smiths and the God is theourCreator of all things lives should look different from the world around us. Being a follower of Jesus requires Joneses, I think it makes a and the owner of all things complete and total surrender in every area of life. We are control. There an all-powerful, all-knowing not inthat huge difference. Heisentrusts to us,God these who created and owns everything. We are simply managers I also think generosity is a resources, then our natural of the resources entrusted to us during the time allotted to us by Him. big part of that. There are so response should be just Come discover how through Biblical surrender and faithful stewardship you can find true in your life. for many families that are living surrendering tovictory His will paycheck to paycheck because what it is we are supposed to they have stretched do with those things. That’s themselves very thin where God’s Word comes in, Neal Broome financially and they don’t feel where it teaches us how to live like they have any room to according to His principles and give, and I believe that should be the first just surrender to that and not be control freaks priority of managing money. I think when we and not feel like we must manage the entire give, it releases the grip that money has on our universe … I think some of us unnecessarily life. So if we can be generous, that not only place that burden on our own shoulders. helps with defeating some of those temptations of spending money, but I think it also helps to ACO: Many people feel defeated release that grip of comparison and helps us be when it comes to managing their more content. Debt is a big part of that. If you finances. What encouragement can look at statistics, debt can get a family down you offer them? very quickly because it’s money that we are NB: I think if I could offer advice and just B

As Christ-followers,

26 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

ACO: How has your faith played a role in your financial journey? NB: In 2004, I really felt God calling me to what I call the ministry of money … The first part of that is, it led me to a complete career change. I believe it was 2006, and I literally walked into a financial firm and just told them I wanted to come to work there, and I really didn’t know how much money I would be making, I didn’t really know what I was going to be doing — I just knew that God was calling me to help people in the area of personal finance. So from that step of obedience, He has really blessed me and blessed my career and allowed me to be able to help a lot of people. “Surrendering to Win: Finding Victory through Biblical Stewardship” can be purchased via Amazon, KingdomLifePublishing.com and Impression Books in Flowood. Y

My Parent, My Child Love Conquers All By Ruth Sanders

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN FOR YOUR AGING PARENT?

Purchase the book at AuthorHouse.com or on Amazon.

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mschristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2021 27

WHAT’S GOING ON

by JERRY WELCH

Hearts of Compassion 5K

The Hunsberger Family Hearts of Compassion Adoption Team at a previous Hearts of Compassion 5K.

e believe that if God has called you to adopt, a lack of funds

shouldn’t get in the way of your obedience. That belief birthed an organization called Hearts of Compassion, the orphan care and adoption ministry of Colonial Heights Baptist Church in Ridgeland. Our goal is to bring awareness to the plight of 147 million orphans around the world and to help fund adoptions for Christian families by oﬀering ﬁnancial assistance to approved families who are in the process of adoption. This year, the Hearts of Compassion 5K will celebrate our 10th anniversary. In the last 10 years, we have raised over $430,000 for adoption. Through matching grants and

additional fundraising, the adoption fund has mobilized over $754,000 for adoption. But this really isn’t about money. The Hearts of Compassion team works tirelessly to raise money for adoptions, but it’s ultimately about the children. It’s about impacting the lives of children with forever families and the truth of the gospel. In the past 10 years, we have seen more than 115 children adopted (or in the process of being adopted) into gospelcentered homes. Through Hearts of Compassion, God is transforming us through the lives of children from around the world and by the love of moms and dads who would do anything to bring them home. We are reminded of the Father’s love for us. Thankfully, God wasn’t

willing to leave us orphaned and destitute, helpless in our sin. Instead, He chose to leave the glory of heaven through the birth of His Son, to walk among us, to share the Truth with us, and to pay the ultimate price that we might be called His sons and daughters. Join us for the 10th Annual Hearts of Compassion 5K, 1-mile fun run, and silent auction on Saturday, November 13. You too can heed the call of God to help take the gospel to the nations through impacting the life of one child at a time. You too can be a part of the Hearts of Compassion legacy. Visit HeartsOfCompassion.life to participate in the silent auction, run the race (in person or virtually) and get the gear. Y

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QUIPS & QUOTES ADVERTISER INDEX

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CUT OUT THE SCRIPTURES AND QUOTES AND PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT!

✂Therefore, through him let us continually offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of lips that confess his name. ~ HEBREWS 13:15, CSB

}

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Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

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~ COLOSSIANS 3:16, CSB

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his faithful love and his wondrous works for all humanity. ~ PSALM 107:8, CSB

Let the whole earth shout triumphantly to God! Serve the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. ~ PSALM 100:1-2, CSB

The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. ~ EXODUS 15:2, NIV

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Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~ 1 THESSALONIANS 5:18, ESV

I will bless the Lord who counsels me — even at night when my thoughts trouble me.

~ PSALM 106:12, NIV

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. ~ HABAKKUK 3:17-19, NIV

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Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

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Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

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Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship. ~ ROMANS 12:1, NIV

30 NOVEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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~ PSALM 16:7, CSB

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Then they believed his promises and sang his praise.

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YEARS

HOPE & HEALING 1946

2021

For decades, the Springfield Dominican Sisters have answered God’s call to care for the Jackson community. Since arriving in 1946 to operate the then-named Jackson Infirmary, the Sisters have welcomed thousands of men and women to share in their ministry of compassionate care to Mississippi families. St. Dominic’s has served as an enduring sign of strength—of hope and healing—as our community and healthcare have grown and changed. Embracing new services, technology and access while remaining grounded in our attention to the poor and vulnerable, we extend the healing ministry of Jesus Christ to each person in need. Even in these most recent trying and tragic pandemic months, we have encountered new blessings and inspiration for our purpose. Faith sustains St. Dominic’s strength and service to all. We are humbled to answer God’s call today and grateful for the trust you place in us each day. While 75 years is a significant milestone, to us, it’s just the beginning.

St. Dominic’s is part of the Franciscan Missionaries of Our Lady Health System, which also includes St. Francis Medical Center - Monroe, Our Lady of the Lake - Baton Rouge, Our Lady of Lourdes - Lafayette and Our Lady of the Angels - Bogalusa.