February Metro Christian Living

FREE

FEBRUARY 2011

Get organized ...right now

MONKEY KEY BAR LOVE VE Chocolate delights

An Evening with

Charles Billingsly With

Jackson Academy’s

Showchoirs Thursday / Feb. 24 6 p.m.

7 p.m.

Tickets:

Silent Auction Performance $20 & $30

Buy at jacksonacademy.org or call 601-500-2966 All proceeds go to JA’s Choral Music Department 2 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

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contents FEBRUARY 2011 columns 16 The Way I See It A lesson of patience

19 Modern Motherhood Monkey bar love

23 HomeWorks Get organized…right now

24 Let’s Talk it Over Learning to love yourself the way God made you

25 Chasing Solomon Put legs to your love

26 All in the Family Why is forgiveness so stinkin’ hard?

features

28

37 Legal Advice Accidental disinheritance

Puppy Love

40 Single Still, Single Again

Rescuing God’s furry creatures

30

What fills your heart?

Chris & Sue Cherney

departments

For the love of children

14 Christian Commerce Corner

metro ®

Living Volume 5, Number 9 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com Associate Editor: Christi B. Steckel christi@metrochristianliving.com Administrative Assistant: Carol Rodgers carol@metrochristianliving.com Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Christi B. Steckel Contributing Writers: Lydia Bolen, Dr. Nancy Boyll, Susan Deaver, Cathy Haynie, Jennifer Heggie, William B. Howell, Dr. Todd Lawson Heather May, Raymond Nalty, Susan E. Richardson, Betsy Smith, Robin O’Bryant, Scot Thigpen, Julie Whitehead, Martin E. Willoughby Jr. Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants: Laura Blackledge, Kim Roberts, Carol Rodgers, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley

Venable glass

17 Love Letters from God 18 Our Daily Bread How do you keep the faith?

20 Fresh Finds Show the love

22 Mars & Venus

26

35

Two sides of the same coin

35 Food For Thought Chocolate delights

36 Welcome Home Clearing the air

38 Healthy Living Prevention is the best medicine

41 Education Connection

28

20

A diverse approach to meeting educational needs

42 Living My Call Q&A with from a buy from a Christian

43 Rave Reviews Books, movies and music

What’s Coming Next Month?

in every issue 10 13 14 44 46 46 8 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Editor’s Letter A 1000 Words From Our Readers Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Ad Directory

Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright 2008 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Metro Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the metropolitan area. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year.

Single issues available for $3 an issue.

POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Metro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157, phone number 601-790-9076.

M I P A Mississippi Independent Publishers' Alliance

SOUTHERN CHRISTIAN SERVICES FOR CHILDREN AND YOUTH, INC.

REBUILDING BROKEN LIVES Southern Christian Services for Children and Youth, Inc. 860 East River Place, Suite 104 Jackson, MS 39202 Phone (601) 354-0983 • Fax (601) 352-8638 • www.scscy.org

➺editor’s letter Love Lives outside the Box

I

because ❝HeWefirstlove loved us.

❞

– I John 4:19

10 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

was listening to my iPod as I do every morning during my walk around the neighborhood. I have a

great assortment of hymns and praise music as well as a smattering of Classical selections, Motown and even a few country hits. My musical tastes are like most things in my life; all over the map.

There is this great Bluegrass arrangement of “How Firm a Foundation.” (The artist is Fernando Ortega and don’t ask me how someone named Ortega sings Bluegrass, but believe me, he does). Sometimes the familiar words of the old hymns jump out at me fresh and alive when set in a way I have not heard before—one more evidence of God’s proclivity to “make all things new.”

The final words in that old hymn go like this, “That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”

Now, that is a picture of love. There is a Father whose arms are so strong, so protective and so committed to those He loves that even Satan himself cannot rest the beloved from His arms.

What an encouraging thought to anybody who 1) is 2) was, or 3) is related to someone who seems to be temporarily AWOL from the Lord. I can think of a few times in my own life when only God Himself could have reached out and kept me from self-destruction.

A progression of “Kodak moments” flashed through my mind; snapshots of great love I have either observed or experienced through the years, everything from that “Mama Grizzly” kind I feel for my children and grandchildren, to the love for my Charles, my friends and special mentors. I remembered the love story I was blessed to watch every day in my mother and daddy’s long marriage and how love looked between my daughter Betsy and her enormous black Lab mix named Walker who comforted her with

something deeper than words through many a heartbreak or an illness.

The God who is love (I John 4:16) blessed us fallen creatures abundantly when He created us with the capacity to love, for it is in that very act of loving someone else we get a dim flickering peek into the nature of our Father’s very heart.

As 1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” I think that means that the best is yet to come, and that when we stand in the company of our Lord, we will know love as we have never known love before and that the best and most love-filled memory we can conjure up will not hold a candle to the love we see face to face. Now if I weren’t such a staid and proper Presbyterian, I would lift my hands and shout out a few “Glory, Hallelujahs.” Maybe you, dear reader, will do it for me!

This February issue is chock-full of love stories; all shapes and sizes. From five-year-old “Monkey Bar Love” that will make you smile to the selfless devotion of Chris and Sue Cherney who have blessed the lives of countless at risk children and teens.

I am always blessed by the faith stories we feature. I am so not a “formula” or “one-size-fitsall” kind of person. I love the fact that the God who is God reveals himself in the “every dayness” of his people in whatever place He has called them to be.

Love does come in different shapes and sizes and the mere thought fills me to overflowing gratitude and a desire to soak up every moment of every day, taking notes and working on the art of loving. I would like to be somewhat prepared for that moment when I meet the One who is indeed Love. I want to say, “Thank you.” Y

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com

From Marilyn’s Bookshelf How Big is Your God?

By Rebecca Barnes Hobbs

I just started reading this story of Sam Patterson, beloved evangelist and former president of both French Camp Academy and Reformed Theological Seminary. But I can already tell, it is a MUST read…and MUST study. This chronicles the journey of a man who was sold out to the Lord before the glitz of today’s televangelism.

This is a heart-filled story about a man who loved God and loved people. (Available through Amazon and at RTS Bookstore online)

Take Your Valentine to AJ’s!

We will offer Valentines the entire weekend to those that want to beat the crowds.

• Visit our website for monthly $40 drawing at www.ajsgrille.com • Two private rooms with large screen tvs • Outside dining available

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OVERWHELMED AND GRATEFUL! We at Christian Leaders of the Future were overwhelmed at the quality and quantity of the responses received by the readers of Metro Christian Living.

We are truly grateful for your time and effort to nominate and apply.

Additionally we wanted to thank our sponsors who saw the importance of recognizing our future leaders and provided the funds to make this opportunity available.

sponsored by: PATTY PECK HONDA FIRST COMMERCIAL BANK SECURITY BALLEW STEGALL IMAGERY

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A daddy’s love.

“Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor...Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.”

– Mother Teresa

PHOTO BY BETH MORGAN PHOTOGRAPHY

metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 13

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT MCL… “Great issue—Really enjoyed it!”

Elizabeth Cossar

‫ﱦﱤ‬ “Liked Page 21, Will 2011 Be Different ...Spirit, Soul and Body by Don Waller.”

Annie Williams

‫ﱦﱤ‬ “Just picked up a copy this week! Love it!”

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‫ﱦﱤ‬ “Great story on Judy Bryant!”

Theresa Tam Mayfield

‫ﱦﱤ‬ “I picked up my copy and this issue is great; Every page and every story. Judy Bryant is indeed a SAINT. May God continue to bless.”

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christian commerce corner Roger Venable, Owner of Venable Glass Services Opened in 2004, employs 22 staff with two locations in Brandon and Ridgeland.

WHAT OUR ADVERTISERS HAVE TO SAY… “Our company previously placed ads with different advertisers but received slow or little response. Since we are a Christian based company we decided to place our ad with Metro Christian Living and this was the best decision we ever made, not only did we receive immediate response, we are still receiving calls for our tile and grout cleaning and restoration services. We highly recommend Metro Christian Living for anyone's advertising needs.”

Bryce Mott Owner, Written in Stone Tile & Grout Cleaning and Restoration

‫ﱦﱤ‬ “We track all our calls and we were impressed at how far reaching Metro Christian Living draws customers.”

Cary Crawley Owner, Mississippi Ironworks

14 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

About: Roger grew up in Opelousas, Louisiana. He and his wife Vickie have been married for 37 years. They have four Children ages 16–31 and they live in Terry with land for a horse, five dogs and five cats. He has been a member of St. Therese Catholic Church for 26 years. He moved to Jackson in 1983 to work for Dixie Glass for 22 years and after a brief stay with Nissan, Roger opened Venable glass doing what he loves.

What are your keys to a successful business?

Customer service. We do everything we can to serve our customers and it’s something I’ve always believed in. We strive to bend over backwards for our customers.

How do you employ your Christian faith in the workplace?

One thing I could not do without is praying. I pray every morning for our employees, our customers and the overall business. I just want to be as fair as I possibly can with everybody.

(You can also find a picture of Jesus hanging in the waiting room and the Ten Commandments sculpture standing in front of the business.)

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➺the way i see it

by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

A LESSON OF PATIENCE

M

My wife Nicki and I were married in Negril, Jamaica.We began planning a formal wedding, but for a variety of reasons decided it would be best to combine our wedding and honeymoon into one trip. At our request, the resort provided a local minister to officiate our service. Perhaps because he had met too many couples who wanted to marry on a whim, he counseled with us to make sure we had thought through our decision. We assured him that we had planned all of this and definitely wanted to get married. To this day, we often refer to the main point he emphasized to us about marriage. In a thick Jamaican accent, he repeatedly emphasized that, “PATIENCE, PATIENCE is the key to a good marriage.”

As we struggle to get our family dressed and out the door to go anywhere, I often hear his voice saying, “Patience, patience my son.” Patience is truly one of the core Christian virtues. Paul instructed the Ephesians to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

(Eph.4:1-3). Similarly, he told the Colossians to put on the virtues of “compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” (Col. 3:12).

We see in Scripture that patience is not only a command, but it is also a gift of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). In other words, it is by the grace of God that we are actually able to be patient with one another.

Many of us are probably like Margaret Thatcher who once famously remarked, “I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.” Her humorous comment points to the underlying challenge with patience. As sinners, we can easily become obsessed about our needs versus others. As the slogan goes, “I want what I want, when I want it.” In stark contrast, Rick Warren opens his mega selling book the Purpose

Driven Life with the statement, “It’s not about you.”

Ouch! I find that my flesh wants to make everything about me. However, I know that the life in Christ is about dying to that and living in union with Christ. In the Christian classic The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a’ Kempis taught us that, “Let this be your whole endeavor, your prayer, your desire to be stripped of all selfishness, you can with great simplicity follow Jesus only, and having died to self you can live eternally in Him.” He also emphasized that dying to ourselves is something that we are to do “always and every hour, in small things as well as great.”

We live in fast paced, real time world. I remember

In other words, it is by the grace of God that we are actually able to be patient with one another. the early dial up connections to the Internet and the lengthy and noisy time it took to connect. Now, I get worked up if my download takes more than a second or two. Whether dealing with family members, co-workers, neighbors or friends, we could probably all use the word of advice from my Jamaican minister friend to simply “Be patient, patient my child.” May we all continue to strive to die to ourselves and experience the peace in Christ as we are patient with one another. Y Martin E. Willoughby Jr. is an attorney/business consultant with Willoughby Law Group, PLLC, located in Ridgeland. He and his wife Nicki have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Madison.

Victory Construction Inc. n of Largest selectio ols to rs ba d an kitchen ea! ar ro et M e in th

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“Overwhelming victory is ours through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 8:37

16 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

love letters to God

Written in Stone, LLC Tile & Grout Cleaning and Restoration

MCL readers share their feelings for their friend and father, Jesus Christ Dear God, Today, I learned that I sometimes give comforting advice to others, but I'm unable to comfort myself. That's why I'm learning to lean on you and trust that you will never leave or forsake me.

I sometimes allow my emotions to get the best of me, and cause me to get in a mental upheaval. I lose touch with reality and my mind and thoughts make me react in a non-thinking manner, thus, making me withdraw from those that I love and love me back.

You sometimes knock me to my knees and punish me so that I may give you all the praise and glory. I find myself through the day singing praises, because sometimes when I get a bit overwhelmed, or most times when I see your blessings coming through, I can't help but say, “Thank you Jesus!” In my time of need, I call your name.. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

I have come to the conclusion that you are my Father, my Comforter and my Disciplinarian!

Father, I pray that I continue to sing your praises and know that you are always in control. Please help me with my wandering thoughts and continue to show me your word, grace and mercy, and allow me to share these things with those who have an open heart and mind.

In your son, Jesus Christ's name, Amen Cynthia Lott

‫ﱦﱥﱤ‬ To My Dear Sweet Lord, Thank you for your loving attitude towards me when I’m not lovable. I appreciate your tenderness and your mercy when I don’t deserve it. You forgive me when I continuously fail you and do things my “own” way. It’s awesome how you love me anyway! You never remind me of all the things you do for me, you just do them without question because you love me.

When I wake up in the morning, you whisper sweet words to me through your Holy Word. You give me music and hope on the drive to work every morning and surround me with your presence and keep me safe. You gave me two wonderful children who have a heart for you and pray out loud on our way to school. As I get to work, you surround me with Christian co-workers.

I know you planned each and every thing out just for me! You gave me a wonderful church family that sees to my spiritual needs and also my well being. You gave me the gift of playing the piano so I can worship you even when I’m alone. When I stray from you, you call until I come running back.

Every other person would give up and say, “I will go find someone else who wants me.” But not you…you love me so much you won’t ever let me go.

Every word you speak is truth. The one I can talk to when no one else understands. You are never too busy for me. I am so blessed to have such an awesome friend!

When I get home, there you are again greeting me as I walk in my house you blessed me with. And as I say my prayers at night, there you are waiting for me to crawl up in your lap for the night feeling protected and secure. You are everything I ever needed and will ever need. I love you so much Lord.

Draw me close, Samantha Cummins

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➺our daily bread

by SUSAN DEAVER

How Do You Keep the FAITH? T his column is for sharing our faith with other readers. Sharing with and serving others changes us and reminds us that our time on earth is about much more than our own needs.

To share your story or favorite scripture, please e-mail us at info@metrochristianliving.com.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

– Romans 12:10

Lori Richardson Recently our pastor called us to a 10 Day Daniel Fast. What exactly is a Daniel Fast? Well, let me start by saying I had no idea when I started. But after not eating meat, desserts (my favorite), and carbonated drinks for 7 days (so far), I have to say I now know what a Daniel Fast is. It is allowing God to be in control of what controls me. I am still struggling with why we do it, but I believe that God is showing me that He wants me to listen and come to him with ALL of my struggles.

I am one of those that tend to think I can handle anything that comes my way. I have gone through losing a loved relative, a divorce, a job change after 18 years and yet, I have come out with a stronger faith.

I have remarried and been able to “blend” a family together for 10 years. All of these things are only

possible with and through our Lord Jesus Christ. I have not done one thing. God has done it all. He has a plan for me and my life and even though I try to control it, in actuality, it is not me, but God who handles the struggles in my life. When I get cocky and think I have done something, He quickly reminds me that it is not me, but Him who has all the power, the glory and honor, forever, Amen.

Lori Richardson is married to Scotty Richardson and lives in Clinton. Between them they have 4 children: Ashton Richardson (18), Blake Collins (16), Haley Richardson (15), and Sydni Collins (12). Lori has been a member of Parkway Baptist Church since 1982 and served as secretary to the Educational/Pastor for 18 years. Y

Find OPPORTUNITY. Register March 1st for MC Accelerated Degrees!

Ready to advance your career and enrich your life, but need evening class hours and convenient locations? With the Mississippi College Accelerated Degree Program, you’ll find that and more. Call 601-925-3979 or visit mc.edu/accelerated to learn more about our in-depth and in-demand programs:

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FIND FAITH. FIND FAMILY. FIND YOUR FUTURE.

18 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

modern motherhood

by ROBIN O’BRYANT Illustration by MARY MARGARET MINK

Monkey Bar LOVE

C

Cue the Barry White music, cupids flying through the air and declarations of undying love. My oldest daughter has discovered boys. There have been a few in the past who have caught her eye, but these days she is a one man kind of woman.

Aubrey is desperately, hopelessly and blissfully in love with a boy who is completely and totally clueless and that’s just the way she likes it. Watching the two of them play and tease each other is a lesson in male/female relationships. It’s like watching The Discovery Channel and observing animals in their natural habitat.

While we were at the park one morning, I sat on a park bench in the shade and watched, highly amused as they interacted with each other.

Aubrey stood in the middle of the playground with her hands on her hips and yelled at the love of her life who was making his way across the monkey bars, “Heeeey! Wanna play ‘Chase the Girl’?” in that timeless school girl voice.

“I’m right here! Come and get me!” He didn’t hesitate. He dropped to the ground and tore after her. Aubrey squealed and took off with a cloud of blond curls trailing behind her like the tail of a comet, and just like that, she was being pursued by the man of her dreams.

Later that afternoon, when we were alone I asked Aubrey, “Why do you think you love him?” “Oh Momma, I love the way he laughs… and I love the way he talks to me.” Her voice actually cracked, and I, being the romantic sap that I am, felt my eyes well up with tears, “Oh honey! You really love him don’t you?” Aubrey sighed. “Have you been listening at all Momma?”

I had been listening, and I’d heard enough to know that my baby loves her friend for some pretty great reasons, even though it might be a bit early to start looking for dresses or picking out china patterns.

Watching Aubrey play with this precious blue-eyed blond headed boy reminded me of what love can feel like from time to time. Of course, it’s not those fleeting feelings that sustain a marriage, but they sure do make things more fun. But what I understand now as a not-so-blushing bride, and what I hope all of my daughters will understand one day, is that love isn’t about the way we feel, but about the commitment you make to someone. I hope they will understand that mundane everyday moments

are so much more valuable than butterflies in your belly, fancy dinners out and shiny new baubles.

I hope my girls will find what I’ve found: A husband who can make a mean ponytail, cook a perfect waffle, console an inconsolable toddler (and sometimes an inconsolable Momma), still makes me laugh out loud and even after thirteen years, would still chase me across the playground if I asked him to.

The Song of Solomon 8:8 says, “Love can’t be bought, love can’t be sold—it’s not to be found in the marketplace.” So you can’t buy love, but if you are hanging around the park in our neck of the woods, it’s highly likely you’ll find it hanging upside down on the monkey bars. Y Robin O’Bryant is a wife, stay-at-home-mother to three daughters, author, humor columnist and speaker. She thanks God for the days she is successfully able to multi-task. Read her blog at www.robinschicks.com or contact her via email at robinschicks@gmail.com.

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TOUR PREVIEW MEETINGS BRANDON

Tuesday, February 15, 6:00 pm Neil Diamond tribute show from Branson starring Keith Allynn and Diana Lynn $35 per person for dinner and show REGISTRATION REQUIRED LIMITED SEATING

Friday, February 11, 11:30 am C » Paws

CRYSTAL SPRINGS Saturday, February 12, 12:00 pm Ray and Sharon Marlers

FLOWOOD Saturday, February 26, 5:30 pm Zambian Vocal Group from Dollywood great family show incredible A cappella harmony $35 per person for dinner and show REGISTRATION REQUIRED LIMITED SEATING

Monday, February 14, 11:30 am Corner Bakery

MADISON Tuesday, February 15, 11:30 am Hamills

Call Purpose Driven Tours for reservation 601-371-8733 • www.purposedriventours.org metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 19

➺fresh finds Show the LOVE

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

The expression of love can come in many forms; a hug, a kiss or a special something. This Valentine’s Day we’ve made it easy to show the love with great gift ideas from around the metro area (and a few you can make at home)! So put cupid to work and share the love.

Monkey Charms DIY (do it yourself) Valentine:

Try this creative and fun lollipop valentine with your kiddos.

Sterling silver heart necklace and bracelet Necklace: $24.97 Bracelet: $18.97

Get out the paper, scissors and pens to create your own card from the heart.

Keep it simple with an easy gift card that fits your loved ones interests. ♥ AJ’s gift card ♥ The Pilates Studio gift card ♥ Highland Village gift coins (Highland Village Jingle Coin Gift Certificates, available in $25 increments. Purchase at Highland Village office, Ste. 281 or Fresh Ink, Ste. 136.)

20 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Engraved Leather Bracelets starting at $10.99 plus engraving. Personalize with your name, initials or favorite Bible verse!

O! How Cute Hot new fashion watch $21.95

Magnetic message board (comes in multiple colors) $16.95

Persnickety

Red burlap tote by Nay Nay’s Closet $32

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metrochristianliving.com â?˜ FEBRUARY 2011 21

➺mars and venus

by HEATHER MAY

TWO SIDES

OF THE SAME COIN “But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.'' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Mark 10:6-9

T

he largest U.S. Mint facility, located in Philadelphia, PA, can produce up to one million coins in thirty minutes. While these coins may be different denominations, what these coins all have in common is the way they’re made. Besides having a

mint mark, each one of these coins has a heads side and a tails side. Once they are produced, they make their way into your purse, wallet, couch, car or into that electronic bank Aunt Becky gave you for Christmas. But what would your coins be worth if they had two sides that were the same? Some may say if you had a two-headed coin it would be lucky and worth even a few dollars, but the truth is, it would be a fake coin. The U.S. Mint doesn’t make any coins with two sides that are the same. Each coin has two different sides—that’s what makes the coin valuable. A coin having both a

When you were married, the two of you became one flesh. You became like one coin with two different sides. heads and tails side makes it worth something.

Have you ever wondered, “Why do my husband and I have to be so different?” If you have been married for any length of time I’m sure you have asked yourself this question more than once. Some days you are convinced that if you think it’s blue, he’s going to say it’s purple, if you hate it, he loves it! He likes to plan things out, you like spontaneity. You like dirty clothes to be placed in a hamper; he thinks the room looks better with clothes all over the floor. His idea of a good day is sitting on the couch for a day full of football; you think if you have to listen to one more sports announcer you’re going to lose your mind! Some days the differences can

seem overwhelming! You have two different preferences, two different opinions; you’re on two different sides—of the same coin.

Just like the U.S. Mint makes coins with two different sides in order for them to be valuable, so our Creator God puts together different people in a marriage relationship for the same purpose. Although many days you might think that your marriage would be so much better if your husband was just like you, the truth is, there were two of you just alike, someone wouldn’t be needed. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the way you do certain things, or the way he does certain things, it’s that God put the two of you together, different as you may be, to accomplish a specific purpose He set out for you.

The tails side of a coin is beautiful by itself, but only when paired with a heads side does it fulfill the purpose for which it was created. The heads side of a coin reminds us of former government leaders and bears the phrase “In God We Trust,” but it’s useless until it is fixed on the other side of tails.

When you were married, the two of you became one flesh. You became like one coin with two different sides. Instead of constantly trying to make your spouse be more like you, start embracing your differences. And the next time you’re digging through your spare change, let it be a reminder that God has made the two of you different for a specific purpose. In the same way coins are valuable when both sides are present; so your marriage is most valuable when you are both working together to accomplish your God-given purpose. Y Heather May is a writer, blogger and sour candy fanatic who works in the marketing field and is currently working on her first book. She and her husband, Bryant, live in Brandon and attend Pinelake church.

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homeworks

by CATHY HAYNIE

Get Organized…Right Now Procrastinating those “get organized” goals?

Here are three approaches and 11 products to get your plans going again.

Tackle one project at a time.

One weekend might be closets and the next the garage; with little projects like your car and your junk drawer on the days in between.

Tackling your home organizing a little at a time is less daunting than a major overhaul. Make a list of small, medium and large projects and check them off as you go.

5. Small containers corral items in the junk drawer, bedside table or bathroom. Try these for socks, lingerie, scarves, office supplies or craft items (kitchen variety plastic containers work well).

6. A large picture frame can hold an attractive family bulletin board, or staple on chicken wire and hang photos, messages and reminders.

Better yet, hang in your bathroom for costume jewelry.

Create working stations or centers.

Consider what organized stations would really help you—a gift wrapping center, a coffee station, a home office caddy or maybe an entry way “loading zone.” As you consider this approach, you can still easily work in small increments to become more organized.

7. The label maker is a must have

Organizational products.

Look around the Internet, in home magazines or ask a well-organized friend to get you started.

8. Under the bed containers sort

1. A shoe bag is a great space saver for many types of items: craft or garden supplies, scarves and gloves and other winter wear, slips and belts, hair products and other toiletries, or small toys like cars or Barbie dolls.

2. Caddies work for homework stations, craft or floral supplies or bathroom supplies. One under each sink sorts cleaners at their point of use; they’re portable and easy to use.

3. Baskets offer hundreds of organizing options. Hide cables for the TV or computer; organize mail, quiet time materials, toys and more. Set up traditional in and out baskets for home or work.

4. Tote Bags help you get ready and stay ready. Have a bag for events throughout your day and week: errands, children’s sports or activities, church, Bible study or quiet time, exercising, even a picnic bag.

organizing product. Label file folders, containers and even the compartments of a junk drawer organizer to set up a system that’s neat and easy to use. toys on a child’s level and promote easier clean up. They’re also great for linens, out of season clothes, gift wrap supplies, extra purses.

9. Peg Board offers a way to see what you are sorting, whether in the pantry for pots and pans, the garage or workshop or my favorite, in the closet to hang purses. Peg boards makes great use of wall space.

10. Binders can help you sort and see team schedules, class rosters and even take out menus. Binders are also easy ways to track items like home warranties, or projects you are working on for work or school. If you are in charge of a project, set up a binder to pass to the next coordinator.

11. A Lazy Susan works for more than just spices; add one to your bathroom cabinet or refrigerator to easily retrieve products.

Whether you work on one small project at a time or purchase a few neat products to get you motivated, getting organized doesn't have to be overwhelming. Just one new area under control can give you a whole new mindset for the New Year! Y Cathy Haynie and her husband Jack have three children and live in Madison. Cathy is the Headmaster of Christ Covenant School in Ridgeland. She occasionally speaks to groups on Honoring God in the Home, Managing the Busy Life, and Balancing Work and Home. Contact her at chaynie@christcovenantschool.net. metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 23

➺let’s talk it over

by JENNIFER HEGGIE

Learning to Love Yourself the Way God Made You

W

We live in a culture inundated with unrealistic and unhealthy body image messages. Our culture and the media set

FINE ART You can see more of Mary’s work at Southern Breeze Gallery in the Renaissance Shopping Center Or contact her at:

662-418-2557 mbuckley@fca.org

24 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

ideals of what beauty and masculinity should be; the thinner a woman is, the happier she will be and the bigger and more muscles a man has the happier he will be.

The Student Nutrition Action Committee at UCLA puts this in perspective by using “Barbie” and “GI Joe” as examples of how unrealistic some of these ideals are. If you were to meet “Barbie” in real life, she would be 5’9”, have a 39 inch bust, an 18 inch waist, 33 inch hips, size 3 shoe and weigh 110 pounds. Similarly, if the plastic action-figure GI Joe Extreme were life-size, he would have a 55 inch chest and a 27 inch bicep.

By comparison, the average real-life man of the same height, even a man who’s fairly athletic, will have biceps that are only about 11.5 inches.

In 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” God does not focus on what our outward appearance is but He focuses on what is truly important and that is what is on our inside.

Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia affect as many as 10 million females and 1 million males and roughly 15 million more people are struggling with binge eating disorders in the United States. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorders include extreme emotions, attitudes and behaviors surrounding weight and food issues. Eating disorders are serious emotional and physical problems that can have life threatening consequences if left untreated. Sometimes eating disorders begin with anxiety over food and weight, but they are about much more. For some, dieting, restricting, binging and purging began as a way to cope or feel in control of one’s life, but these behaviors will often damage a person’s physical, emotional and spiritual health, self-esteem, sense of competence and control.

Anorexia is characterized by self starvation and excessive weight loss; bulimia is characterized by a secretive cycle of binge eating followed by purging; and binge eating disorder, also know as compulsive overeating, is

characterized primarily by periods of uncontrolled, impulsive or continuous eating beyond the point of feeling comfortably full.

Anorexia has the highest premature mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder with the majority of the deaths being directly related to the physiological complications associated with anorexia. Eating disorders are serious illnesses and not lifestyle choices.

Our natural body size and shape is mostly determined by genetics, how we eat, exercise and our overall health. Remember every body is different and that is how God made us. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14) According to the National Eating Disorders Association, here are some healthy tips for a healthy body image.

» Do not compare your body to others (friends, family, people in advertisements, TV shows, etc.).

» Treat your body with respect. » Give your body enough rest. » Fuel your body with a variety of foods. » Exercise moderately. » Resist the pressure to judge others based on weight, shape and size.

» Respect people and yourself for qualities of character and accomplishments, rather than outward appearance.

Too many people believe that eating disorders are only about food and weight issues, when in reality, those are just the symptoms of underlying issues. Eating disorders are serious illnesses, but there is help available and recovery is possible.

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is February 20th-26th. If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, please get help. Remember, it is not what you are eating, but what is eating you. *All information in this article is from the National Eating Disorders Association website unless stated otherwise. Y Jennifer Heggie is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a National Certified Counselor at Summit Counseling.

by SCOT THIGPEN

➺

chasing solomon

PUT LEGS TO YOUR LOVE

persnickety is … the best place to find a gift in Mississippi.*

LOVE HAS LEGS.

Scot Thigpen is the author of “Chasing Solomon” and President of the Solomon Group (Solomon Financial Advisors, Chasing Solomon Ministries). He can be reached at www.chasingsolomon.com

Peter’s Pottery The Good Earth Pottery Annieglass Jay Strongwater Mary Rose Young

Moni Pottery Simon Pearce Riedel Thymes

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*according to Mississippi Magazine voters

2078 Main Street, Madison, MS 39110 • 601-853-9595

Formalwear is now at Monkey Charms Brandon!

Looking for a special occasion dress such as prom, pageant, or sweet 16? Come browse our brand new selection at Monkey Charms in Brandon!

By appointment only.

Call 601-824-9130.

5417 Hwy. 25, Flowood 118 Service Dr., Brandon 601-992-6565 601-824-9130 www.monkeycharms.com

PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF MARY JO PERRY

That may be a strange way to say that real love has to be put into action.

Real love moves from theory to reality when a decision is made to put legs to our thoughts of love. Real love, known as agape love, is the deepest level of love. It is the highest and purist form of love exemplified and expressed in the life of Christ.

Jesus put legs to the love that he had for others. On his last days on earth, he left his disciples a picture of the ultimate example of love. After three years of walking with his disciples on a daily basis, Jesus knew he needed to leave a picture for them and the rest of us, of what real love really looked like. So what did he do? He washed their feet. There was no greater sign that he could have given to show real love means to serve.

As followers of Christ we have opportunities every day of our lives to follow his example and put legs to love. I love my wife with all of my heart. She knows that, but she only sees it when I put legs to that love. I may tell her I love her a hundred times a day, but it is when I am serving her, that she really experiences that love. I love my two sons but it is through self-sacrificing actions, that they really know my love for them.

Valentine’s Day has turned into the retail industry’s day that commercializes this idea of putting legs to love. It is a day that is set aside for all love birds to express love to their loved one. Millions of credit cards will get swiped in February in order to purchase cards, flowers, gifts, dinners, etc. And I suppose on some level those are ways to put legs to the love. But real love, agape love, is a far richer, deeper, more intimate, more self-giving level of love. Agape love can be expressed every day.

Don’t keep love contained to a theory. Be creative in the countless ways that legs can be given to agape love. Have fun in the supernatural ways that God can show His agape love to others through you. You may love a mentor or teacher from your past. Put legs to that love and appreciation by simply writing them a note that tells them. You may love and appreciate those in the military, so buy their lunch if you find yourself at a restaurant with them. Put legs to your agape love by visiting those in the hospital, caring for the elderly and homeless or helping a neighbor.

Christ commanded that we love others as He loved us. And there is no greater gift of love this year (and every day of our lives), than serving others. Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 25

➺all in the family

by DR. JOHN L. COX

WHY IS

FORGIVENESS SO STINKIN’ HARD? We Christians love to disagree about issues of doctrine or faith, but one thing all Christians do seem to agree on is that forgiveness is important. Most of us believe that, all things being equal, we should forgive those who injure us.

(Though I have to admit, I always sort of cringe when I pray the (Though I have to admit, I always cringe when I pray the Lord’s Prayer and actually ask God to forgive me as I forgive those who sin against me. Heavens! I’m the last model I want God using when he is deciding how merciful to be!)

Nevertheless, most of us tend to agree that we ought to forgive one another. So…Go be forgiving! Ready, Set, Go! Sometimes it’s not so easy, huh? Have you ever known that you should forgive someone for an injury, but you just don’t want to? Have you ever worked really hard to forgive someone, and even think that you have actually let go of your resentment and hurt, only to bump into them in the grocery store, and find yourself wishing you could hit them over the head with a can of soup?

26 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Why is that? Why is forgiveness so hard? I’m going to give you four principles that can hopefully help your thinking on the issue.

First, the injury needs to be in the past. Many times I talk to Christians who feel guilty because they are not forgiving someone, but when we unpack the issue, we find that the injury is still going on! Ladies and gentlemen, forgiveness, by definition, has to do with something that happened in the past.

You can’t forgive something that is still happening. That is called License…permission. If the injury is still going on, we need to think first about setting limits in order to make it be something in the past. Then you can work on forgiveness.

Secondly, forgiveness is a process. Think about it, God tells

us to read our bibles, right? And he also tells us to forgive. But even though you can just sit down and read your bible, you can’t make yourself feel forgiving, any more than you can make yourself fall in love. That is because forgiveness is an internal emotional process, more like the process of grief than anything I’ve run across. Indeed we choose to engage in that process, but real forgiveness is much more than a choice. It sometimes requires a long-term metabolism of hurts and feelings and injuries that can only take place over a season. Sometimes Christian feel like they are failing at forgiveness because they think that they should just be able to “let go� of an injury, and can’t. Part of the reason they can’t is that it is a process. Give yourself time and the loving support of people who help you grow.

The third reason forgiveness is hard is because it always involves a cost. Tim Keller talks about how with any injury, someone has to pay. No matter what, there is a cost. If you dent my car, someone has to pay. You can pay to get my car fixed. I can pay to get my car fixed, or I can pay by driving a dented car around, but someone has to pay. “Letting Go� of an injury sounds so easy, but it always involves paying. When I forgive you, I am saying, “You committed this injury, but I will pay. I wish I could get even, but I’m not.� I cannot think of many things that are harder.

Finally, forgiveness can be hard because it is not all we are dealing with. If someone has wounded us, we now have two issues in our lap, not one. There is the legal “Do I hold this against you?� forgiveness issue, but also there is the wound that has been inflicted.

I see lots of people who have been hurt, and who have even forgiven the one who has hurt them, but who still need to talk about the

injury and process the wound. Oftentimes the one who has hurt them can complain, “Why won’t they forgive me? They keep bringing it up.� Maybe they have forgiven, but it will take them time to heal from the pain and loss of the injury.

Christians often make forgiveness sound like a relatively simple choice that “Good Christians� should engage in at will. Give yourself a break. If you are struggling with the pain of an injury, ask for loving

Christians often make forgiveness sound like a relatively simple choice that “Good Christians� should engage in at will. Give yourself a break.

William C. Ashford, M.D. Elizabeth Wyatt Mitchell, M.D. Jay Brown, M.D.

February is Workplace Eye Safety Month.

people in your life to help you set limits on the wounding events.

Ask them to join you in the process of letting go. Let them help cushion the blow of the cost, and welcome them into helping you heal the injury. Then maybe we can forgive, as our Father in Heaven forgives us. Y Dr. John L. Cox is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Jackson. He also serves as the Visiting Director of Spiritual Development at Intown Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia. To contact Dr. Cox, please call 601-352-7398.

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PUPPY LOVE Rescuing God’s furry creatures

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

Barkus Ball ELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF CARA

ll God’s creatures deserve a place to call home.”

This is the Community Animal Rescue and Adoption organization (CARA) motto. Celebrating 10 years of service in the Jackson area CARA has saved almost 5,000 animal’s lives. Those lives are big and small, furry and soft, playful and sweet. They are dogs and cats who were cast aside on roads or in dumpsters, neglected by their owners with no place to go.

Beginning in 2000, friends Janet Madden, Pat Sellers and Jerri Bennett began rescuing forgotten puppies and dogs in their own homes, but they soon ran out of room and knew in their hearts something had to be done.

They gathered in a coffee shop to discuss the future of their furry friends.

The need was great, but their passion was greater. They organized Mississippi’s only “no-kill” shelter. Without government funding the shelter would have to rely on private donations, but that didn’t discourage the trio.

They stuck to their motto and remained committed.

“A

Ten years later Janet is serving as the CARA shelter director with fierce dedication and love. During the recent cold weather she and a few other staffers and volunteers spent the night at the shelter sleeping on cots in case the power went out and the animals lost heat to their kennels. Pat has since passed away, but her passion and energy live on in the spirit of service at CARA. Jerri is a retired teacher, nearly 70, but you wouldn’t know it. She serves as the vivacious executive director and cares for nearly 20 puppies and dogs at her home that has become a satellite shelter for CARA. Every day she feeds the animals, takes them for walks and cleans their kennels.

She nurses those back to health who often are brought to her with infections, injuries and emotional hurts. She senses the sadness in the dogs that have been abandoned and seeks to bring life back into their sullen eyes by giving them a chance that others were unable to provide. “These animals cannot speak or defend themselves, and I feel this is my mission to care for them. God made these animals and many are mistreated, abused

C O N S I D E R B E C O M I N G A PAT R O N O F T H E P E T S $15 a month will feed an animal for one week $25 a month will vaccinate three animals a month $40 a month will spay or neuter an animal $55 a month will help save the life of a heartworm positive dog or feed a nursing mama and her babies.

Visit www.carams.org to donate today.

28 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Most animals at CARA aren’t full-bred pet shop perfect, but they are still animals in need of love.

CONTACT CARA: 601-922-7575 cara@carams.org 960 N. Flag Chapel Road Jackson, MS 39209

Landry

Tiny Tim

Happy

CARA receives national help from Canine Commitment in Portland, Maine where these 9 German Shepherd puppies will soon be delivered to.

Jerri loves bringing dogs back to health like Chessie

and neglected. I look upon myself as a crusader for animals, and I feel this is what God would have me do,” Jerri shares. The work is often long and tiresome, but she remains committed with the help of her husband Dick and through faith that this is their assigned mission.

Each animal is different with personalities of their very own. Happy, a 12-year-old Pomeranian was one of the first rescued dogs at CARA. As a young pup he was adopted, but ran away and only came back when Jerri went to look for him. He’s taken up residence at her “sanctuary” for older or injured dogs that are unable to be adopted. He’s become slow and deaf with age, but you still get the sense his name fits his character as he sits blissfully in the sun with no plans to run.

Then there is Chessie, a young Lab with an under-bite. She is pure sweetness and has a calmness of an old soul that makes you wonder what she’s lived through. Her playmates are Labrador mix puppies, Landry and Landon, and 12-week-old Tiny Tim who whines when Jerri doesn’t turn on the heating pad in his crate. Most animals at CARA aren’t full-bred pet shop perfect, but they are still animals in need of love. As Jerri has found they often give more love than they get, “A dog loves unconditionally and that trait teaches us to accept people from all walks of life and to be slow to criticize others.”

Each animal that enters the shelter is spayed or neutered to promote responsible pet ownership. Animals that need it are also given treatment for infections such as heartworm, mange and ringworm. But these services aren’t free. It costs on average $1,000 a day to operate CARA. The constant challenge and Jerri’s constant prayer is for CARA to receive the funding to keep the only no-kill shelter in Mississippi operating under optimal

conditions. CARA depends on the support of private donations from individuals, businesses and annual fund raising events to serve almost 300 animals in the shelter.

CARA also depends on the help of people such as Kendall Poole who became an active member on the CARA Board of Directors after volunteering and adopting her own puppy, Gizmo. The board consists of a diverse group of animal lovers that seek to bring awareness to pet ownership and support the shelter’s needs. “We are all committed to seeing CARA not only save animals but become financially stable,” Kendall says. On Thursday, March 3, the board of directors will host the Barkus Ball to celebrate 10 years of CARA. The event will be held at The Auditorium in Fondren and feature food, fun and fellowship along with live music and a silent auction. Proceeds from the event will directly benefit the Capital Improvement Campaign for the shelter to better operate and provide necessary care for the animals.

If you can’t attend, but would still like to get involved with CARA consider joining the Community Council that meets once a month to discuss ways to meet the shelter’s needs. And there are always volunteer opportunities and plenty of loveable animals to call your own. The adoption process is setup to make sure the best match is made for the dog and owner. Factors such as home environment, age of children, other pets and living conditions for the pet are all considered for the adoption.

Opening your heart and home to a dog or cat is sure to bring joy and fun. And as Jerri shares while holding Tiny Tim and Chessie at her feet, “Everyone needs a dog.” Y metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 29

CHRIS & SUE

CHERNEY For the Love of Children

by MARILYN TINNIN

30 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

I

If Chris and Sue Cherney could have just one wish, it would probably be all about children—children growing up safe, loved, secure and well nurtured.

Both were honored by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute in 2010 as two of 140 Americans who as “Angels in Adoption” have dedicated their lives to improve the lives of adoptive and foster care children in our state.

They have shared their lives for almost half a century. College sweethearts, Chris and Sue Cherney met when both were assigned to cafeteria detail as part of their scholarship and financial assistance plan at Denison University in Granville, Ohio. Liberal arts majors with undergrad degrees in history and English, both were drawn to working with children.

Chris’ mom and dad had been social workers and both sets of grandparents had been missionaries to China. He toyed with the idea of seminary, but decided on the Columbia School of Social Work instead.

Sue’s spiritual heritage was strong, too. Her grandfather was a minister and her family’s commitment to serving God by serving His people had forever been a way of life.

A more perfect match there could never be. As executive directors of two leading social services organizations, they frequently compete for the same grants. They cheer for each other, console each other, share the ups and downs that come with the intense nature of dealing with broken families and wounded lives. Through it all they find their mutual strength and passion for work in God in the blessing of each other.

Their individual humor quotients are apparent as they describe the events that brought these two New Englanders to the deep south. Sue’s roots are in Left to right: son John, daughter-in-law Heidi, Connecticut; Chris is Sue, Chris, son-in-law Rob Montgomery, daughter Christine, granddaughters Grace originally from New York. Sue and Susannah Montgomery was a reluctant partner in 1978 when she packed up their two school age children, waved good-bye to all that was familiar and found herself a resident of Jackson, Mississippi. The Civil rights movement was in full swing. Traditions and the Southern way of doing things were lovely at times and foreign at other times. Her mother’s encouragement was to remind her, “Where God guides, God provides.” Sue’s story has certainly proven the truth in that statement. She laughs as she remembers a few months of telling God, “Hey, Lord, it’s me…Sue…remember? I’m here in Mississippi.”

Chris told her they would probably stay two or three years at the most when he took the reins of the Mississippi Children‘s Home Services (MCHS), an organization whose roots date back to 1912. He was a national consultant with the Child Welfare League of America when he was asked to take a look at MCHS and make recommendations for a five year strategic plan. The committee who had asked for the plan liked Chris’ ideas so much they hired him to become the Executive Director.

MCHS provided just three services at that time; a home for unwed mothers, a daycare center and an adoption service. They had made few changes in their sixty years of operation. As the dynamics of the culture had

changed, the board recognized the need for long term vision. “Historically, our model was finding homes for homeless children,” says Chris. “We still do that.” But they now provide so many other services that reach out to the complex problems of today.

Many of the children MCHS serves come to them through the Department of Human Services. For many, MCHS is the last effort to save an at risk child from lifelong consequences of destructive choices. Most have been put out of the public school system as it is just not equipped to handle them. The highly trained and caring staff of MCHS pour their efforts into reversing the direction many are headed. And there are many heartwarming success stories.

Under Chris’ leadership, the organization whose original budget was $250,000 and a staff of 25 has grown to provide an array of social and behavioral services with an operating budget of $26,000,000 and a staff of 400. MCHS has offices all over the state now, runs two special education schools, a residential treatment center for children with emotional and behavioral problems, a drug and alcohol treatment center for youth runs a foster care program and an adoption service. In 2010, MCHS touched the lives of approximately 30,000 children.

Sue Finds Her Place Sue’s first months in Jackson were devoted to seeing that their children, Christine and John, were happily settled in their new schools and the household fell into a routine. She knew she would go back to work at some point, but didn’t have the time to give it much thought when the Easter Flood of 1979 wreaked havoc on the capital city and surrounding areas.

Sue’s natural tendency to help kicked in. She jumped on board with Mississippi Religious Leadership Conference, an interfaith organization that had sprung up in the early 1970’s in the heat of the Civil Rights struggle to provide dialog and a statewide forum for both clergy and lay leaders.

“Because of the major devastation of the flood, the different major religious groups like the Methodists, the Presbyterians, the Catholics, the Episcopalians, the Christian Church, and the congregation at Northminster Baptist all pooled their national disaster funds to create the Disaster Task Force as an arm of the Mississippi Religious Leadership Conference. Their mission was to provide spiritual counseling to victims, financial aid, to coordinate the volunteers who were pouring in here to help people clean up and then rebuild. The MRLC needed someone to manage the effort.” When WLBT held a telethon and donated their entire $85,000 to the Disaster Task Force, the need for a good manager was urgent.

Sue calls it a “God-thing” that they hired her. With her typical unassuming manner, she says she thinks she was hired because she was “available.” Her mother’s words, “Where God guides, God provides,” took on new meaning. metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 31

Chris and granddaughter Susannah

It was the three year stint in this temporary position that sent Sue, the reluctant quasi Southern belle transplant, into the highways and bi-ways of her new state, talking to the victims, helping plug people find the resources they needed, seeing the cooperation Chris and Sue on the between denominations, races and the heart campus of Denison University where they and soul of both giver and recipient. “This met as students began my love affair with Southern people,” she says.

By the time the Recovery Task Force ended its mission, Sue had made many friends in Jackson’s faith community. Clay Lee was Senior Pastor of Galloway Memorial Methodist Church and invited Sue to become his Director of Christian Education.

She accepted and counts her time under his mentorship as one of the most important in her spiritual shaping.

A New Call Sue accepted a position with First Christian Church in 1984 as their Minister of Education. She met an amazing group of people there who had a tremendous desire to do something for young people in the city—something that was needed but something that at the time was not being addressed by any other group. What could it be?

Much prayer, research and many interviews with professionals took place. There were a number of ladies who, although they had no funds at all, had a dogged determination to start something that would benefit the kids who had no other resources. Such love and commitment resonated with Sue. “I had always thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could take the church out from behind the four walls and yet do it professionally as ministry?” That thought pulled at her heart, but until the amazing prayer warriors and foot soldiers at First Christian Church got on board, she did not realize God was setting that very concept in motion.

Their research revealed that very few services were being provided for older teens and that most who were part of the state’s foster care programs were forced out on their own at age 18 and ill prepared for the real world.

There was a definite need for a transition program to teach them basic life skills and equip them to take care of themselves. Such a program would have great potential to help these high risk kids avoid becoming a statistic in the judicial system.

Over the years, Sue and Chris had taken into their home several teens who were on their way out of the system. They knew firsthand how ill equipped the average teen from foster care is to manage their daily lives.

From knowing how to wash clothes, getting a simple meal together, managing their meager dollars to understanding exactly what it is to be responsible in an employment situation;. they are almost set up to fail without some direction. “The average length of employment for a foster child’s first job is two hours because they frequently have no respect for authority and no one has taught them that they are to report to work on time. Such problems stem from the disintegration of the family unit,” Sue 32 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Chris and Sue at son John’s wedding

says. It is astounding what these kids, whose lives have involved so little core stability, do not know.

Sue is thankful for those brave and committed people at First Christian Church who wanted to do something about it.

In 1988, Southern Christian Services for Children and Youth (SCSCY) was established, and Sue Cherney became the Executive Director.

SCSCY Meets a Need One of Southern Christian Services most notable services is their home for homeless teens.

P.A.L.S. (Preparing Adolescents to Live Successfully) takes in kids who are literally living on the streets. As Sue says, “All they have to do to qualify for residency is to be homeless.”

There is a structured program where goals are set and met. Residents can stay up to two years while they have options of going back to school and/or working and receiving the emotional and financial support to get their lives on a solid path. Sue beams when she describes one of the P.A.L.S alumni who saved $15,000 during his two years residency, went on to have his own apartment and is making his way in the world.

Adoption is another service provided by SCSCY, and their program is designed so that it will not duplicate the program at MCHS. Sue says, “We place children who are older, children in sibling groups, bi-racial children, children with physical handicaps, some with behavioral and emotional problems. Ours are the children who are not easily adopted.”

What she has seen and something that has greatly encouraged her faith in God’s ability to provide involves the area of adoption. When SCSCY opened its doors, despite the noble calling, the thought crossed her mind, “Who in the world will we find to adopt these children with special problems?”

Although there is an element of recruiting involved, God has graciously and in amazing ways matched these hard-to-place kids with loving families time and time again. And what a difference the right family can make in these young lives. One big plus has been a grant from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Wendy’s Wonderful Kids. This made it possible to hire a full time staff member, Lynda Robinson, whose job is recruiting families for the special kids. The results have been spectacular as most of these

Both express a sense of grief over the changing dynamic of the American family. “I think what I have seen that disturbs me most is kids growing up in so much violence and unstable families and not having any anchors to them.

Sue and Chris at a family gathering at the Grand Hotel, Point Clear, Alabama

children have gone to rural communities where an adoptive family’s church family has completely embraced the children giving them an added dimension of love and support that only God could have ordained.

One of Sue’s pet projects has also been an annual “Lookin’ to the Future Conference” that is in its 22nd year. The goal is to provide up to the minute information and resources to social workers, counselors, therapists, teachers, foster and adoptive parents, mental health professionals, and literally everyone who plays a role in the lives of children, youth and families.

It’s educational, but it is also a nurturing opportunity, a place where those who give so much of themselves to help others, can themselves be replenished. For information on the 2011 conference held in Natchez on June 22, 2011, call 601-352-0983.

Reflections Each with forty six years working with high risk kids, Chris and Sue share their thoughts on the problems they encounter and the passion that keeps them engaged and committed to their work.

Both express a sense of grief over the changing dynamic of the American family. “I think what I have seen that disturbs me most is kids growing up in so much violence and unstable families and not having any anchors to them. The biggest thing that is tearing families is the drug usage—the methamphetamine usage. So the kids who come to us have seen all sorts of domestic violence,” Sue says.

On the positive side Chris and Sue agree that there are now more options, more services, more innovative approaches to confronting the problems our culture has created. The importance of committed professionals cannot be overstated. There are studies and resources and proven outcomes, but the role of quality staff is huge. Kids need heart…and Chris and Sue have certainly given theirs.

“We started 22 years ago with nothing in our bank account. We pay as we go. We have wonderful board members who help provide and raise money, but our biggest need is always operational support. The second biggest need is mentors to work one on one with kids with problems,” says Sue. She has no doubt the blessing for the mentor is the sheer delight realizing what the friendship and guidance can mean to a young person who has never had an adult show a real interest in him or her. As Sue emphasizes, “Never underestimate the influence of one or two committed individuals. Our agency started because a few committed individuals wanted to bring the church into the community.” What they lacked in funds, they made up for with faith and good works…and God supplied the rest.

Chris is still raising funds for a capital campaign where MCHS recently

built three cottages and a two story school on the property of the old Methodist Children’s Home. The school provides another chance to kids that public school is not equipped to handle. With a staff of social workers, professional special education teachers and psychiatrists who specialize in at risk kids, the success stories are numerous, and the cause is worthy.

One extra special blessing for Chris and Sue personally has been the fact that with a shared interest in helping kids, they have been able to travel together to conferences and use each other as sounding boards for ideas and plan future programs. Chris laughs as he says, “We are constructive critics to each other!”

There is a high level of intense emotion in both their jobs. Dealing with families and kids in crisis 24/7 can wipe out one’s carefully crafted sense of peace. How do they do it?

“I think it’s a combination of knowing what God has given us in our marriage and knowing we wouldn’t be here if we had not been called by Him. We really feel that we are doing what God would have us do,” Sue says.

Chris agrees. “It’s exciting that both of us have been able to ‘grow’ the organizations we work for. We’ve just seen a tremendous amount of good come out of it.”

Just for fun As a couple their lives are not all about work. Aside from their commitment to helping children, they share a love of adventure. Travel is a passion for both Sue and Chris. “When we aren’t working,” says Chris, “we like to travel.” Sue adds, “And when we aren’t traveling, we enjoy planning our next trip!”

She is a reader of all genres. She loves mystery and political intrigue best. His reading is large, but he admits it is mostly professional reading.

They also love movies—of all kinds. One of their most recent fun undertakings was to participate in a Millsaps enrichment program on the History of Film. It was an educational experience that was complete enjoyment for them both.

Then, of course, there are two granddaughters who occupy a huge chunk of their hearts. Chris says that one of their greatest delights in life is that their children and grandchildren express a desire to spend time with them. Who’s surprised? What’s not to love?

Chris says, “We have prided ourselves on being good parents and grandparents. When you look back at what counts for success in your life, it’s not what you did at work. It’s your own kids…how they turned out…that’s what matters.” The most profound and amazing thing is that Chris and Sue have not only provided love and nurture for their own children, but their mission in life has been to do everything they possibly could do to bring that same love and nurture to those who were not born into it.

If you would like more information about SCSCY visit www.SCSCY.org, email scscyinfo@bellsouth.net or call (601) 354-0983.

For information about MCHS visit www.MCHSCares.org, email info@mchscares.org or call (601) 352-7784. Y metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 33

Take a look at the difference a Christ-centered education can make!

Learn more at our new website www.christcovenantschool.net

We love this place!

Established in 1895, Palmer Home is a long-term Christ-centered home for children who lack an adequate family structure.

Palmer Home is committed to:

752 Pear Orchard Road Ridgeland, Mississippi 39157

601-978-2272 Preschool-Middle School 34 FEBRUARY 2011 â?˜ Metro Christian Living

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food for thought

by LYDIA BOLEN

Chocolate Delights

All families should make it a habit of telling each other they are loved. Try putting a valentine under a loved one’s pillow on Valentine’s Day. By writing individual notes, each family member gets several happy love letters for that day. Another way to express love on this day is baking. Chocolate treats are a scrumptious and irresistible way to show your love. Here are some of my favorites for you to try.

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.” – John 4:34

MILKY WAY CHEESECAKE 24 1/3 4 1 2

2 Oreo sandwich cookies, crushed 4 cup butter, melted 1 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened 1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk 18 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

cups semi-sweet chocolate chips eggs teaspoon vanilla extract 12-ounce package semi-sweet chocolate chunks snack-size Milky Way candy bars, chopped

In a mixing bowl, combine crushed cookies and melted butter until moistened. Press into bottom and sides of a 9-inch spring form pan; Set aside. With an electric mixer, beat cream cheese on medium speed until creamy. Add milk, beating until smooth. In a microwave-safe bowl, melt chocolate chips on HIGH for 1 minute; stir until smooth. Add melted chocolate, eggs, and vanilla extract to creamed mixture, beating on low speed. Fold in chocolate chunks and chopped candy bars. Pour into prepared crust, bake at 300 degrees for 55 minutes. Run a knife around edge of pan and release sides. Cool completely on a wire rack. Cover and refrigerate. Serves 12

RED VELVET BROWNIES (adapted from Southern Living 2010) 1 1/2 1 1 1/2 1 1/8

1 4-ounce bittersweet chocolate baking bar, chopped 3/4 cup butter 2 cups sugar 4 large eggs

cups all-purpose flour 1 ounce bottle red liquid food coloring teaspoon baking powder teaspoon vanilla extract teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line bottom and sides of a 9-inch square pan with aluminum foil, allowing 2 to 3 inches to extend over sides; lightly grease foil. Microwave chocolate and butter in a large microwave safe bowl on HIGH for 1 to 2 minutes or until melted and smooth, stirring at 30 second intervals. Whisk in sugar. Add eggs, 1 at a time, whisking just until blended after each addition. Gently stir in flour and next 4 ingredients. Pour mixture into prepared pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 44 to 48 minute, check for doneness. Cool completely for 2 hours on wire rack. Lift brownies from pan, using foil sides as handles; remove foil. Spread Small-Batch Cream Cheese Frosting on top of brownies, and cut into 16 squares. (Frosting recipe below)

CHOCOLATE CHIP PIE 1 6 1/2 1 1

unbaked pie shell ounces milk chocolate chips cup pecan pieces stick butter cup sugar

1/2 1/4 1 2

cup shredded coconut cup flour teaspoon vanilla beaten eggs

In an unbaked pie shell, layer 6 ounces of chocolate chips and 1/2cup pecan pieces. Melt 1 stick butter and add sugar, coconut, cup flour, teaspoon vanilla, And 2 beaten eggs. Pour the butter mixture over the chips and nuts. Bake 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes. Cool completely.

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING 1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened 3 tablespoons butter, softened 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Beat cream cheese and butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy.

Gradually add powdered sugar and salt, beating until blended. Stir in vanilla.

HOT FUDGE SAUCE 1 1 1/2 1/2

16-ounce can chocolate sauce 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk cup butter (1 stick) teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine the chocolate sauce, condensed milk, butter and vanilla in a double boiler. Cook until the butter melts, stirring to blend well. Serve over ice cream or pound cake and Strawberries. Store the sauce in the refrigerator and reheat in the microwave to serve.

Remember to make memories through the kitchen…”the heartbeat of the home.” Go to my blog for more recipes at www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com or email me at lbbolen@gmail.com Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 35

➺welcome home

by RAYMOND NALTY, III

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CLEARING THE AIR

nergy-efficient construction can bring down heating and cooling bills, but often the air quality suffers.

Comfort means more than temperature control. Learn how you can master air care with tips from Home, Ventilating and Air Conditioning (HVAC) pros.

When it comes to comfort and energy-efficient construction, it’s a good news/bad news scenario. The good news; a tightly insulated space prevents heated (or cooled) air from escaping, reducing energy requirements and cutting energy bills. The bad news; these tighter homes get very little fresh air from the outdoors and leaving you with recirculated stale air.

Fortunately, there’s one more piece of good news. By taking advantage of a recent improvement to air conditioners, using filters and innovative products like UV and whole house dehumidifiers, you can solve this problem. “Air quality makes a huge difference in creating a healthy environment of any space, but maintaining good air quality boils down to three things. Properly filtering the air, maintaining the proper humidity levels and circulating the air enough to accomplish both,” Raymond Nalty, owner/operator of Environment Masters Inc., of Jackson, explains.

»

Going with the flow: New HVAC equipment is now available with variable speed motors on furnaces and air handlers, that allow fans to run constantly. “That allows you to pull the air through your home continuously at a cost of $3 to $4 per month, as opposed to the older fans that can cost up to $30 to $40 per month. Another innovation is two stage air conditioners. These units keep your system operating longer, providing better moisture control at a lower cost,” Raymond notes.

»

Screening for clean: Today, consumers are faced with such a wide variety in air filters choices can be confusing. However, finding the right filter is a matter of personal choice and individual health consideration.

There are three basic decisions to be made in selecting an air filter: Minimum Efficiency Reporting Value (MERV) rating; pleated filter versus electronic filter and the thickness of the filter. MERV ranges from the highest rating of in the 20’s to the lowest rating at 2. “The higher the number, the greater the number of particles and the smaller the particle 36 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

size that the filter removes,” Raymond explains. “Anything greater than 16 in a residential application restricts the air flow too much, while anything less than 6 allows dirt to build up on your HVAC coil.” To decide which MERV rating is right for you, go to www.furnacefiltercare.com/merv-ratings.php or talk with a heating and cooling professional.

Filter type is a matter of maintenance preference, “Pleated filters work well over the long run as they don’t lose their MERV rating as time goes by. On the other hand, electronic filters generally have higher efficiency initially, but the efficiency drops with run time and they need to be cleaned regularly to maintain efficiency.”

Filter thickness, ranging from one to four inches, also allows for differences in maintenance preference, since a one-inch filter will hold less particles than a four-inch and will need to be changed more often.

»

Ultra-violet Lights: Another new innovative product is the UV light. These lights are installed at the indoor coil. “The UV rays kill mold and bacteria that grow on the evaporator coil,” Raymond says, “This greatly reduces odors in your system and keeps your coil cleaner and more efficient.” Another important benefit of these lights is they kill viruses in the air stream as they go by. That’s why hospitals and most educational facilities are opting for UV lights, and more families choose them for residential use as well.

»

No more sticky stuff: In Mississippi removing humidity in the summer is an important part of an air conditioners job, not just for better comfort but for maintaining a healthy environment as well. Thicker walls and insulation cuts down on your air conditioners run time. Two-stage units and variable speed indoor units are an excellent way to overcome this. However, if a new unit is not in your budget or your existing unit is fairly new, a whole house dehumidifier is a good option.

These units run based on humidity levels and use your existing ducts to dispense the dry air.

Keeping it tight is the goal of energy-efficient construction, but a few simple steps will also help you keep it comfortable. And that’s good news all around! Y Raymond Nalty, III is president of Environment Masters of Jackson. For more information on energy efficient products, contact 601-353-4681.

legal advice

Accidental Disinheritance

by WILLIAM B. HOWELL

It Can Easily be Avoided in Your Plan

W

hat is this “accidental disinheritance”? Does it really happen? Is my family in danger? Let

me explain.

You probably want your assets to go to your children when you are no longer here, not to your son-in-law or daughter-in-law, but to your child. And if that child should predecease you, you would likely want the portion that would have gone to that deceased child to go to your grandchildren, that is, the children of that deceased child. But it doesn’t always work out that way. It has to be in writing and it has to be in the proper form. Otherwise, your desires will be ignored.

For an example, assume you have a son named John. He is married to Mary and they have a child Jimmy. Your will leaves everything to John, but he is not living when you pass. So what happens then? It can go where John’s estate plan left it (not where you wanted it to go), and that is often the surviving spouse, Mary, your daughterin-law. Now, can Mary get remarried and share your money with her new husband? Sure she can. If Mary passes away, does the money she got

from you go to your grandson Jimmy? Depends on what Mary’s will says; it could all go to her new husband, leaving Jimmy “accidentally disinherited” where your assets were concerned.

Another similar, but different situation; Both spouses have children from a prior marriage.

Most husbands and wives after a while own their assets together, and often it is as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. This can include the home, the bank account, investment accounts and so forth. Each spouse makes the other the beneficiary on their retirement accounts and life insurance. Then one spouse passes away. Where do the assets go? To the surviving spouse, of course. Then what happens to the assets when the surviving spouse passes away? They go to the children of the surviving spouse in most cases, and the children of the first spouse to die got “accidentally disinherited.” In other words they get nothing.

The husband and wife could have each used a carefully written Living Trust to allow the surviving spouse to use and benefit from the assets they own during the lifetime of the surviving spouse, but at the death of that spouse,

all the remaining assets would be distributed to the children of the first spouse to pass away, or if the husband and wife had a joint trust, the assets would be divided among the children of both spouses in whatever way the spouses chose, but not to the children of the surviving spouse alone.

Doesn’t that sound better?

If you have a second marriage and have children from your prior marriage, then take a little of your time to seek out some professional advice to help you decide how you are going to prevent the heartbreak that can result from your children being left out after you are gone, particularly if you should go before your spouse.

But like all planning for incapacity or death, it must be done in advance. Your family will be grateful to you long into the future because you had the foresight and the wisdom to address these matters in advance. Don’t let them down.

Let’s prevent any “accidental disinheritance” from happening in your family. Y William B. Howell is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices law in Ridgeland.

You have worked hard for it.

WHY THROW IT AWAY? We are all living longer. But we are not all going to be in good health, or aware of our families, or both. Then what happens? Someone has to take over. The question is: Will this be someone you chose? And will it be outside of court or in court? The same with the distribution of your assets after you pass away: In court or out of court? The choice is yours. What about protecting your assets from lawsuits, or a child’s inheritance from a divorce? And will most of your hard-earned savings go to the nursing home? Or have you planned? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:

Living Trust – Allows the person you choose to take over for you in the event of your incapacity, without any court involvement. At your death the person you have chosen makes the distribution of your assets the way you have instructed in your Living Trust, and to do so promptly, inexpensively and privately, without going through probate in the court.

Asset Protection – Lawsuits are filed every day. If you get sued, are your assets protected? They can be, and probably should be.

Also, the divorce rate has never been higher than it is today. Will your child’s divorce cause them to lose half of what you leave them after you are gone? Not if you plan now. The level of protection (or not) is up to you.

Nursing Home Planning – Don’t qualify for long term care insurance, or can’t fit it in your budget? You don’t have to spend everything that you have in order to become eligible for nursing home benefits. There are legal and ethical ways for you to save well over half of your assets in most cases, even if you are already in the nursing home.

Hear Mr. Howell on the radio

Tuesdays 8:35 am WJNT NewsTalk 1180

THE LAW FIRM OF

WILLIAM B. HOWELL, LTD. 406 Orchard Park • Ridgeland, Mississippi (601) 978-1700 or (800) 839-7857

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 37

Have You Fixed Your Dirt Crawl Space Yet?

âžşhealthy living

by DR. TODD LAWSON, M.D., FACC

Get Rid of That Damp, Musty Smell in Your Home!

The earth in your dirt crawl space is the major source of moisture in your home! This moisture is carried up into your house from [OL UH[\YHS \W^HYK HPY Ă…V^ JYLH[LK MYVT YPZPUN OLH[ The CleanSpaceÂŽ Crawl Space Encapsulation System is the answer!

PREVENTION is the Best Medicine

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As the New Year begins it is an ideal time to reexamine the cardiovascular issues facing our state. We

www.mscrawlspace.com

Call Today!

601-898-0891

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One chocolate contains eight grams of fat.

Carats are better for you.

38 FEBRUARY 2011 â?˜ Metro Christian Living

sometimes grow tired of hearing the statistics, but again the numbers show that we are ranking near the bottom in almost every category of preventive medicine and therefore near the top in cardiovascular deaths. I think this begins with the epidemic of obesity and follows with other preventable risk factors including; tobacco use, hypertension, diabetes and hyperlipidemia.

Other contributing factors include inactivity and stress.

As these factors compound and go undetected and untreated then we see the inevitable consequences of heart attack and stroke. These endpoints can be averted, but the solutions are difficult. Multiple organizations including the private community and government are attempting to begin the process of preventative education.

I think prevention begins with fighting the problem of childhood obesity and lack of exercise and the majority of our preventive efforts should begin in school with more emphasis on physical education. This should include nutritional education for students and families as well. I also think the battle against tobacco cessation should continue.

As persons enter adulthood having the ability to see a health care provider to check for cardiovascular and stroke risk factors is important. The mindset of prevention however is not clearly established in all communities. Most of us go to the doctor or nurse practitioner when we are sick, but have little time for routine blood pressure checkups and preventive lab tests. This paradigm must change. We are all familiar with the adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,� but are often do not apply this to addressing ones stroke and heart attack risk.

By the time a person sees a cardiologist the

opportunity for primary prevention is lost and our emphasis changes to secondary prevention and recovering from the damage already done from either heart attack or stroke. Unfortunately, many times the damage is severe and the quality of life in these individuals is reduced.

At this time I challenge our leaders and our state to look carefully at the funding for preventive services. I would encourage our church leaders to become involved in the education of our community. I would hope that our health care providers and hospitals would continue to help provide education and health screenings. Many of these efforts have begun already and some have been present for years, but the demand is great and many people just have not yet been reached. There are untapped chances for positive intervention including our schools even to the preschool age, but also the inner cities and rural communities throughout the state.

Those who know me well know I have a passion for the state of Mississippi and its people.

I was born here, trained here and will continue to practice medicine in our beautiful state, but I am worried about how far behind the rest of the country we are in prevention. I am fortunate to be a partner in the Jackson Heart Clinic which allows me to be involved in the community. For example we have developed the Jackson Heart Foundation to partner around the state to work on screenings, education and improving heart care throughout the state. We have also partnered with the Greater Jackson Chamber Partnership and local hospitals to arrange Heartbeats of Jackson which is a cardiovascular health screening for the community. I am hopeful we will have a positive impact. Y Dr. Todd Lawson, M.D., FACC practices medicine at Jackson Heart.

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We hope your Valentine’s Day is as warm and wonderful as bear-hugs in front of a fireplace!

God Bless You! Dr. B and Staff

Eugene C. Brown, Jr.,

D.D.S., M.S., P.A. www.dreugenebrown.com

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601.352.3632 metrochristianliving.com â?˜ FEBRUARY 2011 39

➺single still, single again

by BETSY SMITH

WHAT FILLS YOUR HEART? “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” – Matthew 22:37

I

I was picking up some things at the grocery store last night. (OK—so I started out last February’s column pretty much the same way). As soon as I walked in—I was greeted by all the Valentine’s Day Paraphernalia. This year, I smiled and thought to myself “Awww...Valentine’s Day. I love this holiday.” I forgot all about the hummus dip I came in to buy and started reading all of the cards. Before I knew it, I had spent 40 dollars on cards! For the same person.

After the girl rung me up and I was on my way out to the car I started to have buyer’s remorse. Did I really need all these? Then I justified it by saying, “Well, I haven’t had a valentine in well...I’ve lost count and I actually have been saving money and so the 40 dollars is OK.” On my way home a friend called my cell phone. As we were talking (yes, I was talking and driving which I do not recommend) one of the cards started singing in the bag.

She asked me, “What is that noise?”

“Oh—it’s a Valentines card.”

Before I could even finish my sentence she said “I hate Valentine’s Day.” “Why would anyone hate Valentine’s Day?” I thought. Then it hit me. I hated Valentine’s Day too…last year...and the year before that. I avoided the card aisle like the plague and instead of spending 40 dollars on cards I wanted to spend 40 dollars on needles to stick in my eyes.

I felt very convicted as I unpacked my nine cards to the same person.

Yikers. I realized how selfish and complacent I have been. Last year I hated Valentine’s Day. This year I love it—all because I have someone to buy cards for.

Perhaps also—while one relationship has progressed, the other has

40 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

become complacent, perfunctory or not quite as exciting. When was the last time I bought 40 dollars worth of cards for Jesus? And instead of thanking God for bringing this guy into my life—I just stood in the card aisle with my head held high like I owned the place. Is that pride or arrogance…or both?

On a recent visit to Jackson, I had a chance to hear Chip Henderson at Pinelake. He talked about what sits on the throne of our lives. The fact that I hated Valentines last year, and love it this year answers that question. So, this Valentine’s Day I encourage you to stop and examine where your heart

I forgot all about the hummus dip I came in to buy and started reading all of the cards. Before I knew it, I had spent 40 dollars on cards! is; what are you putting in it that keeps the relationship with Christ alive?

A man or a woman that you might share your life with, is just a small ingredient in what is eternal—but as special and wonderful as he or she may be, they are not the key ingredient that gives your life purpose, shape, meaning and flavor. So don’t forget Jesus this Valentine’s Day like I almost did. Y Betsy Smith lives in Birmingham, Alabama and is employed by Boston Scientific-Neuromodulation as a medical device representative.

education connection

by DR. NANCY BOYLL

A DIVERSE APPROACH TO

Meeting Educational Needs

T

his year we celebrate the 20th Anniversary of New Learning Resources that includes the growth of New Summit School and North New Summit School. Through God’s design and allowing me to use my talent; what started as a learning lab designed to meet diverse educational needs has grown into more than I could have ever imagined! It all started with the primary thought in mind; reach students’ academic needs individually.

Parents and children of different learning styles do have educational choices that often go undiscovered or overlooked due to a level of comfort or a lack of information. In many cases, multiple options are available to support the diverse learning needs of our children. To make the best possible decision as parents we must take the time to understand and comprehend the needs of our children: learning styles, interests and goals all while determining what educational avenue will provide the best longterm benefit to the child.

Children learn in a variety of ways and some excel in one format over another. Tactile learners require hands on activities; while other children are oriented toward verbal and visual stimulation. We must also consider behavioral needs or any special academic needs as well, ranging from learning differences to the profoundly gifted. Even still, the extracurricular needs must be noted, which at times can only be met through specialized programs developed specifically for the target student such as music or athletics. It is critical for parents to honestly evaluate each child and carefully consider each need to identify the best possible match for their academic needs.

preparation for the rest of your life, and achieving the best life possible.

Finding a learning environment that is supportive, meets the specific needs of the child and makes consideration for the myriad needs of the individual is our greatest concern as a parent when considering education options.

Reaching students of all ages individually In my years of education I have held fast to the belief that every child can experience educational success no matter their challenge. New Learning Resources and its schools were conceived from the belief to meet the needs of children that require a different setting to meet their education potential. Not every child learns in the same way, not every child should measure success on a single scale. Educational options exist for children who may not excel in standard classrooms. New Learning Resources and its Summit Schools provide an environment that is tailored to the individual through small classroom populations with highly qualified teachers that possess a genuine passion for meeting the individual needs.

New Learning Resources and the Summit Schools remains steadfast in the belief that children can be successful given the appropriate opportunity.

Y

Dr. Nancy Boyll is the Executive Director of New Summit School Services and the Mississippi Community Education Center. For more information on New Summit School’s services, call us at (601) 982-7827, or visit our website at www.newsummitschool.com.

When evaluating education options consider: ➼ Long term Goals: Evaluate and assess long term goals including the child’s own expectations. Is preparation for college or junior college the goal? Is the best avenue for life-long success in vocational education or skill-specific training? Will special needs be required; such as social development, or speech therapy?

➼ Learning Style: As the parent, become familiar with the learning strength of your child. Seek the input of current teachers or counselors.

Observation and reflection will provide at least a basic framework from which to begin. Assessments and diagnostic tools are also available to complete an accurate picture of the student’s learning style. ➼ Social and Emotional Growth: Significant changes take place both socially and emotionally during the schooling years. Schools play a primary role in developing, fostering and promoting social and emotional growth in addition to academic knowledge. ➼ Extracurricular Activities: Support of learning outside of the traditional classroom environment is essential when considering traditional or nontraditional education options; after all learning isn’t confined to the walls of the classroom! Are support programs available to supplement the education of your child? Are options available for expression of talents such as visual arts or music? Is there a willingness to develop, expand or create activities that encourage development?

It is important to remember to keep the needs of the entire family in mind when considering your child’s educational options. Also, ensuring that you have included your family in the decision making process through open communication will prove beneficial both immediately and in the future. It helps both you and the child form a clear understanding of the needs and expectations. School isn’t always about grades, athletics and organizations, nor is just about getting to college or jobs. School is

2089 Lakeland Dr., Jackson, MS www.tinninimports.com metrochristianliving.com â?˜ FEBRUARY 2011 41

âžşliving my call

by MARILYN TINNIN

Q&A with

t i s an i r h C a

Brad McMullan

Buy of f rom

MCL: Explain the term, “A Christ Centered Commerce Community.�

BFAC: Our purpose is to glorify God in all we do. Jesus Christ is at the center of all we do with bfac.com and how we conduct ourselves with our customers and advertisers.

We know not everyone who uses bfac.com will be a Christian, but we hope everyone will be exposed to the Gospel when they leave the website.

MCL: What is the philosophy behind such a venture?

BFAC: We believe people should have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but they should not keep it private. Too often, people are

scared to share their faith in the business world.

We believe the best part about you should not be kept a secret from 8 to 5. Chick-fil-a founder Truitt Cathy told me in his office in November, “There’s no contradiction between Christian principles and good business.�

MCL: You and a business partner founded the company in 2006 as a side-line. You both had day jobs. What led you to leave your secure job and jump into this full-time?

BFAC: A lot of prayer. For the last four years I felt God asking me to step out of the boat, but I only put my hand in the water. In September, I decided to be bold in His name and get out of the boat. If God calls me to go back into broadcasting, then I will go, but I know I am exactly where He wants me to be right now.

MCL: How wide has been the reach so far in buyers and sellers shopping BFAC? BFAC: It has been amazing to see God grow his company. In just four years, we have had visitors from all 50 states and more than 130 countries.

It is all because of God.

Supplemental Senior Dental Insurance from Pennsylvania Life Insurance Company, a member of the Universal American family of companies.

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Š‹• ‹• ƒ Ž‹Â?‹–‡† ’‘Ž‹…› –Šƒ– Šƒ• ‡š…Ž—•‹‘Â?• ƒÂ?† Ž‹Â?‹–ƒ–‹‘Â?•Ǥ Ž‹…‡Â?•‡† ƒ‰‡Â?– Â?ƒ› …ƒŽŽ ›‘—Ǥ Š‹• ‹• ƒ •‘Ž‹…‹–ƒ–‹‘Â? ˆ‘” ‹Â?•—”ƒÂ?…‡Ǥ —’’njͳͳȀͲ͝

42 FEBRUARY 2011 â?˜ Metro Christian Living

MCL: How can churches and non-profits raise money through BFAC for free?

BFAC: First, you can host an online garage sale. Think of a normal church garage sale, instead held year round in all 50 states and in 132 countries. Instead of raising $2,000 on a Saturday, you can raise $100,000 with less work. Again, it is 100% free! Besides garage sales, we donate 10% of all our listing fees back to the seller’s church.

MCL: Can anyone list an item or is there a joining fee?

BFAC: There is no joining fee and it only costs a dollar to list an item on bfac.com. Plus, we donate 10% of your listing fee back to your own church.

MCL: What benchmarks do you hope to hit in 2011 with your company?

BFAC: Last year we had 10,000 people read, verse by verse, how to become a Christian on bfac.com. I pray that number tops 100,000. At the end of the day, that is what really matters. We want people to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Y Brad McMullan is now focused on bfac.com's next goal, getting 10 million people to sign up to receive a free daily bible verse on their cell phone. Just text bfac to 90210 and you will get a daily bible verse sent right to your phone for free.

rave reviews BOOK

MOVIE

Redeeming Love

The Green Hornet

Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson

Reviewed by Julie Whitehead

Angel never had a chance. Sold into prostitution as a child after losing her mother, she tried to escape only to find herself back in bondage. The gold miners on California’s frontier in 1850 were willing to pay a high price for an hour of her time. Then despair brought her to the edge of death.

The first time Michael Hosea saw Angel, he heard God whisper that she was the wife for him. Her beauty stunned him but shock followed when he learned her occupation. Michael knew breaking through her pain and mistrust would be difficult, but he had no idea of the full challenge.

Angel’s past formed a solid barrier to trust. She fought her fears and the love Michael offered, running away when he came close. He brought her back again. As the walls around her wounded soul fell and healing began, Angel learned to love, but still needed the One who could fully redeem her from the darkness of her past.

Far more than a romance, Francine Rivers’ modern Christian classic Redeeming Love retells the Biblical story of Hosea and Gomer in a new setting. Strong major and minor characters add depth and richness to a compelling story with much to say to both male and female readers.

Redeeming Love celebrates its 20th anniversary this year. A special hardback 20th anniversary edition is currently available at LifeWay stores. The paperback edition is widely available. If you have never read Redeeming Love, don’t miss this powerful book. Y

The Green Hornet began as a radio program in 1936, then a comic book series in the 1940s and is now a feature film in 2011. The script cowritten by lead star Seth Rogen takes on a violent, evil and often tasteless storyline. The hero Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is a self-indulgent playboy and his sidekick Kato (Jay Chou) is a demented engineering genius.

The movie opens with a flashback to Britt’s childhood getting in trouble at school for fighting with bullies. His father’s scorn and disappoint continue to follow him into his adulthood where he seeks approval in partying, girls and alcohol right up until his father’s sudden death.

Britt strikes up a friendship with Kato, unloading on him in alcoholic babble peppered with profanity about how awful his father was to him.

They decide one night to go out and deface father’s statue and stumble into a robbery in progress. Kato, who turns out to have martial arts skills, takes down the robbers.

This experience sparks Britt’s determination to become a crime fighter who poses as a criminal mastermind to get an entrée into the crime world. With Kato supplying the smarts and the muscle of the operation, the pair wreaks havoc on L.A. The movie degenerates into explosions, killings and ugly scenes between Kato and Britt, and builds to an unbelievable ending, revealing corruption at the highest levels of city government.

This comedy/action film genre is not well-served by The Green Hornet which combines frat-boy humor with amoral criminality, making a hash of both. Spare yourself—the film isn’t worth the 3D price. Y

Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

reader involvement

Julie Whitehead of Brandon has been a mother since 1996 and a freelance writer since 2000. She was given a Mississippi Press Association award for her work in 2006.

WE NEED YOU!

HELP US MAKE 2011 GREAT BY SHARING YOUR STORIES, PHOTOS AND IDEAS.

We’re also looking for…

Is God… » moving in your life? » transforming your family? » showing up in a broken relationship? » teaching you new things about faith, hope and love?

» photos that express God’s love in your life (children, family, animals, travel) » how mission trips change lives. » local involvement in ministries and non-profits. » upcoming event listing and event photos.

Then let us know! We’d love to share your story.

Email us at Christi@metrochristianliving.com or Marilyn@metrochristianliving.com today!

Find us on Facebook and www.metrochristianliving.com metrochristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2011 43

FEBRUARY

➺events calendar B E YOND Y OUR B EST.

BRANDON

February 26

March 4

Enjoy an evening of the arts showcasing local artist with and without disabilities at Belhaven University’s Concert Hall. Tunes, Tutus and Turning Wheels will showcase art forms from dancers to musicians. Doors open at 7:00 p.m. For more information, call 601-956-1400.

“A Princess Ball” A magical night for Fathers and Daughters at Brandon City Hall Girls ages 5-9 6:00-7:30p.m.

Girls ages 10-14 8:00-9:30p.m. Tickets $20 couple, $7 each additional child.

Tickets available at City Hall.

Sponsored by the City of Brandon.

Call 601-824-4578 for more details.

JACKSON

MORTON February 25-27 The Livingston Performing Arts is featuring their annual music festival at beautiful Roosevelt State Park. Come and enjoy the best of Blue Grass, Gospel, and Country Music featuring Goldwing Express, Trugrass and many others. For more information call 601-537-3641.

February 10 The McClean Fletcher Center, Mississippi’s only grief support program geared towards children and teens, is having their Heartstrings Gala fundraiser at the home of Mary and Patrick Kelly, owners of Julep and Mint restaurants. This worthwhile event enables The McClean Fletcher Center to continue the mission of providing a safe place in peer support groups where children can interact with others who have experienced similar losses. For more information call 601-206-5525

RIDGELAND February 4 The Renaissance Center on Highland Colony Parkway will be “wearing red” at this year’s National Wear Red Day! Free health screenings will be offered by UMHC from 11-2:00 so take advantage of this opportunity to start the New Year off on a healthy note!

March 4-5

Excel beyond your highest goals.

At Belhaven University, you will find yourself in a place where top-rated faculty and a nurturing environment converge to bring you to your best … then propel you beyond what you believe is achievable.

Nationally recognized academics.

Vibrant campus life. Christ-centered worldview. The faith-affirming support to become more.

Aim for excellence from God’s perspective. Visit Belhaven University … your place to discover your purpose.

belhaven.edu Schedule a visit to Belhaven University or attend one of our Discover Days: February 11, March 4 and April 15.

44 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

February 12 Ignite the Night Midnight at the Museum gala benefiting the Mississippi Children’s Museum 7:30 – Midnight, $100 per person. A fun-filled night for adults to experience all of the museum’s exhibits. Call 601-981-5469 for more information.

Christ Life Church will be host to their 2011 Women's Conference featuring Jennifer Rani Barham, speaker and author of newly released book The Roach Princess. Enjoy Biblical teaching and testimony as God's word is proclaimed. For additional information visit: www.christlifehighlands.org

VICKSBURG February 15-16

February 4-5

Mamma Mia!, the unforgettable musical featuring the music of Abba, is coming to town at Thalia Mara Hall.

Tickets start at $20 and are available through Ticketmaster. For more information, call 601-981-1847.

Vicksburg Parkside Playhouse will host Affairs of the Heart benefit for the Salvation Army Women’s Auxiliary. Local choirs, artist and individuals will provide the entertainment for this worthwhile event. For additional information and ticket prices call 601-636-0471.

Y

Weekdays 6am – 9am

New Artists. New Sound.

Rediscover the joy of listening to WHJT!

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Outdoor plans.

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➺quips & quotes ✂

{

ADVERTISING INDEX

Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.”

}

“Come,” he said.

– Matthew 15:29

– Psalm 55:22

– Unknown

“Human things must be known to be loved: but Divine things must be loved to be known.”

– Blaise Pascal

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved—loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

– Victor Hugo

“Love is not finding someone to live with; it's finding someone you can't live without.”

- Rafael Ortiz

“God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith and put our trust in Him. He will always look after us. So we must cleave to Jesus.

Our whole life must simply be woven into Jesus.”

– Mother Teresa

“But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

– Matthew 15:27

“…But David found strength in the Lord his God.” – 1 Samuel 30:6

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies: probably because they are generally the same people.”

– G.K. Chesterton

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46 FEBRUARY 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

ADVERTISER PAGE AJ’s ...................................................................11 Baptist Health Systems ......................................5 Belhaven University..........................................44 Belhaven Graduate & Online Program ...........34 Brenda Travis Sitter Service .............................46 Buy from a Christian ........................................39 Callaway’s Lawn & Garden ..............................45 Carr, Riggs, & Ingram, LLC ..............................21 Cellular South.....................................................3 Christ Covenant School ...................................34 Dr. Phillip Ley......................................................2 Energy Insulation..............................................38 Environment Masters .......................................11 First Presbyterian Day School..........................21 Fresh Cut ..........................................................12 Gameroom Gallery...........................................16 Grantham Poole CPAs .....................................34 Highland Village ...............................................27 Jackson Academy School ..................................2 Jackson Preparatory School ............................15 Joel Clark & Sons Jewelry ...............................38 M&F Bank.........................................................18 Mary Buckley Fine Art......................................24 Medtronic.........................................................47 Miskelly’s Furniture.............................................4 Mississippi College ..........................................18 Mississippi Ironworks .......................................47 Mitzi Designs....................................................46 Monkey Charms ...............................................25 North State Animal Hospital ...........................46 O! How Cute Gift Shop ...................................15 O’Mire Agency.................................................22 Odyssey Hospice .............................................22 Palmer Home ...................................................34 Persnickety .......................................................25 Pennsylvania Life ..............................................42 Purpose Driven Tours.......................................19 Sitters................................................................24 Smiles ...............................................................39 St. Dominic’s.....................................................15 St. Catherine’s Village ........................................7 Stegall Imagery ................................................40 Southern Christian Services ...............................9 Southern Farm Bureau.....................................15 Star 93.5 ...........................................................45 The Pilates Studio ............................................39 The Eye Group of Mississippi..........................27 Tinnin Imports ..................................................41 Top 20 Christian Leaders .................................12 Trio Spa...............................................................6 Victory Home Construction .............................16 Venable Glass...................................................17 William B. Howell .............................................37 Wright & Ferguson ..........................................39 Written in Stone, LLC.......................................17 For more information on our advertisers visit www.metrochristianliving.com

SPECIAL ADVERTISING

PRISCILLA’S STORY Osteoporosis is a disease that causes bone to become weak and susceptible to fracture. Of the 10 million Americans with this disease, 80% are women, and having a mother with osteoporosis puts a daughter particularly at risk.

Priscilla Turner, 67, of Memphis, TN knows this risk all too well. Her 90-year-old mother, Jewell Fondren, suffers from osteoporosis (a disease that causes bone to become weak and susceptible to fracture). Over the past 30 years, Jewell has experienced a hip fracture, spinal fractures, and has a hunched back that may have been caused by multiple spinal fractures. Jewell, who lives with her daughter, has difficulty walking, cannot bend, and finds her clothes don’t fit well because of her hunched back.

Two years ago, Priscilla seemed to be heading toward the same fate as her mother when she suffered from back pain. Priscilla went to see her doctor and discovered she had a spinal fracture. She was also diagnosed with osteopenia or low bone mineral density that can lead to osteoporosis.

“I just thought I was getting older,” she said. “I didn’t know my bones were breaking, but when my doctor told me I had a spinal fracture, I was very surprised.”

Like Priscilla, the estimated 44 million Americans at risk for osteoporosis are often unaware that they have the disease until they break a bone, according to the National Osteoporosis Foundation (NOF), sponsors of National Osteoporosis Awareness and Prevention Month. However, today more information is known about the risk factors for osteoporosis and fractures.

If you have a low bone mineral density coupled with one or more other risk factors, you are at increased risk of having an osteoporosis-related fracture over the next 10 years, according to a recent publication by the World Health Organization (WHO). These risk factors include a previous fracture, a parent who has had a hip fracture, smoking, taking steroid medications, drinking three or more glasses of alcohol daily, and suffering from rheumatoid arthritis or from a disorder strongly associated with osteoporosis.

Less was known about osteoporosis years ago when Priscilla’s mother was prescribed pain pills and bed rest to manage her osteoporosis-related spinal fractures. Treatments are now available to help strengthen bones, and new procedures have been developed to repair spinal fractures.

When Priscilla experienced her spinal fracture, her primary care physician referred her to orthopaedic surgeon Dr. Edward Pratt* of the Memphis Spine Center, who treated her spinal fracture with balloon kyphoplasty.

Balloon kyphoplasty is a minimally invasive procedure that can reduce back pain and correct the deformity caused by a spinal fracture. Small balloons are inserted and inflated in the fractured area of the spine to restore it back to its normal shape. After the balloons are deflated and removed, the cavity that has been created is filled with special bone cement, creating an internal cast.

Priscilla is exceedingly close to her mother. They spend afternoons on their parlor couch, reminiscing about their years together or sitting quietly as Priscilla reads and her mother knits. However, she knows that she does not want to suffer the same fate as her mother.

“Osteoporosis has kept Mama from being as mobile as I knew her years ago,” Priscilla said. “Her movements are restricted. She cannot bend nor do many activities around the house. Her walking is limited.”

When Priscilla experienced her second spinal fracture in 2007 and her activities became restricted due to the back pain, she decided to take action to avoid her mother’s fate. She again had her fracture repaired with balloon kyphoplasty and now exercises regularly and takes prescription drugs and calcium supplements to prevent more bone loss.

“Today I do everything,” she said. “We have a two-story home, and I am always going up and down the steps, and I couldn’t do that before the (balloon kyphoplasty) procedures because of my back pain. I am also gardening again.

I walk two miles a day and work out on weight machines. I am a very active person. I don’t sit.”

The National Osteoporosis Foundation estimates that one in two women and one in four men over age 50 will experience an osteoporosis-related fracture in their lifetime. Dr. Pratt believes that efforts like National Osteoporosis Prevention and Awareness Month are helping to raise much needed awareness of the risks and treatments for osteoporosis and related fractures. “The world is beginning to gradually wake up and see that osteoporosis is a problem and that the best way to treat it is to stay ahead of it,” says Dr. Pratt. To learn more about osteoporosis, visit the National Osteoporosis Foundation at www. nof.org. For more information about spinal fractures, take the risk assessment, go to www.spinalfracture.com. *Paid consultant of Medtronic Although the complication rate with KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty has been demonstrated to be low, as with most surgical procedures, there are risks associated with the procedure, including serious complications. This procedure is not for everyone. A prescription is required. Please consult your physician for a full discussion of risks and whether this procedure is right for you.

For more information please call Medtronic at 1-888-645-4444 and/or visit www.kyphon.com.

If you’re over 50 or have osteoporosis, it’s important that you don’t ignore your back pain. It may signal a spinal fracture. See your doctor right away if you think you may have one.

TAKE CHARGE Don’t turn your back on back pain.

Spinal fractures can be repaired if diagnosed.

KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty is a minimally invasive treatment for spinal fractures that can correct vertebral body deformity, reduce pain and improve patient quality of life.

before

balloon kyphoplasty

after

For more information on balloon kyphoplasty or to find a local physician performing the procedure, call 800-652-2221 or visit www.kyphon.com Although the complication rate with KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty has been demonstrated to be low, as with most surgical procedures, there are risks associated with the procedure, including serious complications. This procedure is not for everyone. A prescription is required. Please consult your physician for a full discussion of risks and whether this procedure is right for you. © 2008 Medtronic Spine LLC. All Rights Reserved.

MEDTRONIC Spinal and Biologics Business 1221 Crossman Avenue Sunnyvale, CA 94089 USA Tel: (408) 548-6500 16003152_002 [01]

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