Hidden Thoughts I

CONCERT PROGRAM

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I

21 APRIL

Iwaki Auditorium

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ARTISTS Leonard Weiss^ conductor Robert Cossom curator / percussion The Consort of Melbourne vocal ensemble MSO Musicians Anne-Marie Johnson violin/viola Michelle Wood cello Sarah Beggs flute/alto flute Philip Arkinstall clarinet/bass clarinet Louisa Breen piano

PROGRAM MEALE Incredible Floridas – Interval – KATY ABBOTT* Hidden Thoughts I: Do I Matter?

Our musical Acknowledgment of Country, Long Time Living Here by Deborah Cheetham Fraillon AO, will be performed at these concerts. *MSO Composer in Residence

^Cybec Assistant Conductor

This concert may be recorded for future broadcast on MSO.LIVE.

Duration: 2 hours including interval In consideration of your fellow patrons, the MSO thanks you for silencing and dimming the light on your phone.

ACKNOWLEDGING COUNTRY In the first project of its kind in Australia, the MSO has developed a musical Acknowledgment of Country with music composed by Yorta Yorta composer Deborah Cheetham Fraillon AO, featuring Indigenous languages from across Victoria.

Generously supported by Helen Macpherson Smith Trust and the Commonwealth Government through the Australian National Commission for UNESCO, the MSO is working in partnership with Short Black Opera and Indigenous language custodians who are generously sharing their cultural knowledge.

The Acknowledgement of Country allows us to pay our respects to the traditional owners of the land on which we perform in the language of that country and in the orchestral language of music.

About Long Time Living Here As a Yorta Yorta/Yuin composer the responsibility I carry to assist the MSO in delivering a respectful acknowledgement of country is a privilege which I take very seriously. I have a duty of care to my ancestors and to the ancestors on whose land the MSO works and performs.

This new work [2024] will become the second in a suite of compositions I am creating for the MSO, known simply as Long Time Living Here.

As MSO continues to grow its knowledge and understanding of what it means to truly honour the First people of this land, the musical acknowledgment of country will serve to bring those on stage and those in the audience together in a moment of recognition as as we celebrate the longest continuing cultures in the world.

– Deborah Cheetham Fraillon AO

Australian National Commission for UNESCO United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization

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MELBOURNE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA

Committed to shaping and serving the state it inhabits, the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra is Australia’s preeminent orchestra and a cornerstone of Victoria’s rich, cultural heritage.

Each year, the MSO and MSO Chorus present more than 180 public events across live performances, TV, radio and online broadcasts, and via its online concert hall, MSO.LIVE, engaging an audience of more than five million people in 56 countries.

In 2024 the organisation will release its first two albums on the newly established MSO recording label.

With an international reputation for excellence, versatility and innovation, the MSO works with culturally diverse and First Nations artists to build community and deliver music to people across Melbourne, the state of Victoria and around the world.

In 2024, Jaime Martín leads the Orchestra for his third year as MSO Chief Conductor.

Maestro Martín leads an Artistic Family that includes Principal Conductor Benjamin Northey, Cybec Assistant Conductor Leonard Weiss, MSO Chorus Director Warren Trevelyan-Jones, Composer in Residence Katy Abbott, Artist in Residence Erin Helyard, MSO First Nations Creative Chair Deborah Cheetham Fraillon AO, Young Cybec Young Composer in Residence Naomi Dodd, and Artist in Association Christian Li. The Melbourne Symphony Orchestra respectfully acknowledges the people of the Eastern Kulin Nations, on whose un‑ceded lands we honour the continuation of the oldest music practice in the world.

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

WELCOME Welcome to the opening concert of the 2024 MSO Metropolis Festival. As the MSO’s Composer in Residence this year, I’m delighted to have you join us for this special chamber concert.

In line with the 2024 MSO theme of “stories”, each work in today’s program is a narrative through music.

Richard Meale’s Incredible Floridas is a vibrant homage to the poet Rimbaud and is a landmark piece in Australian chamber music. Prepare to be swept away by its intense and evocative nature.

We also delve into the world of unspoken thoughts given to me through an anonymous survey for Hidden Thoughts I: Do I Matter? This piece opens with one percussionist playing 2 hi-hats. The introduction acts as a “palette cleanser” for the audience to transition from their day and settle in, ready to receive the offerings of over 200 women’s words who provided their hidden thoughts to this project. Perhaps your own thoughts are woven into the fabric of this work?

The talented MSO chamber musicians, led by the curator of today’s concert and treasured MSO percussionist, Rob Cossom, make these narratives real. We’re also delighted to welcome The Consort of Melbourne, Melbourne’s own vocal ensemble, who specialise in interpretations of both historical and contemporary repertoire.

Joining them is the acclaimed bass-baritone Andrew O’Connor, for whom the bass part in Hidden Thoughts I was specially composed.

We hope you enjoy the concert. Don’t forget to join us in August for the next instalments of the Hidden Thoughts™️ series. On August 1, guests Richard Piper (narrator) and Lotte Betts-Dean (mezzo-soprano) feature in Return To Sender, and on August 9–10 Andrew O’Connor joins forces with Sunny Kim (voice) and Pamela Rabe (narrator) in Stories of Awe, which features Max Richter’s The Four Seasons Recomposed.

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– Katy Abbott

Composer Katy Abbott is forensically curious about what makes us tick. Her music explores our passions, fears and motivations using contemporary musical flavours in traditional musical settings. Musing on the concepts of connection, place and humour, Abbott’s compositions are performed, published and recorded around the world.

Abbott’s work has won numerous prestigious awards including a 2-year Australia Council of the Arts Fellowship (Music), Paul Lowin Prize (song-cycle), Boston Metro Opera ‘Gold Prize’ for Art Song and the Albert H. Maggs Prize for Composition.

Abbott has five solo albums of her work on ABC Classics and MOVE Records and her work is regularly programmed in festival, chamber and orchestral settings in Australia and overseas.

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

KATY ABBOTT COMPOSER

A central theme in Abbott’s work is ‘connection’, particularly in the triadic relationship between audience, performer, and composer. Although this theme exists throughout Abbott’s whole catalogue, her Hidden Thoughts™ Series is where she is deliberately and overtly exploring connection in relation to self, each other and our world. Each Hidden Thoughts work looks at the macro (societal) human connection as well as the intimate (one-to-one connections within relationships, families, friendships and self) and she does this through stories and capturing the essence of the extraordinary in the ‘ordinary’.

Katy has been Senior Lecturer in Composition at Melbourne Conservatorium of Music, University of Melbourne for 10+ years and founded The Artists’ Mentor which supports mid-career and established artists across disciplines to build long-term, vibrant practices with impact and meaning.

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

LEONARD WEISS CONDUCTOR

Leonard Weiss is an Australian conductor and educator. He is proud to be the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra’s Cybec Assistant Conductor. Leonard previously held the position of 2022 New Zealand Assistant Conductor in Residence, and the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra’s 2020–21 BSO–Peabody Fellow.

Highlights of Leonard’s past season include Riccardo Muti’s Italian Opera Academy in Tokyo, the Tanglewood Conducting Seminar with Andris Nelsons, observing Salzburg Festival rehearsals at the selection of Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra musicians, and return engagements with the Auckland Philharmonia.

In addition to a busy MSO schedule this year, Leonard returns to National Opera for Suor Angelica. He also conducts all Australian symphony orchestras as part of the 2023–24 Australian Conducting Academy.

Leonard studied conducting with Marin Alsop at the Peabody Institute of Johns Hopkins University. There he was acclaimed as Peabody’s “rising star” and conducted the National Symphony Orchestra in a masterclass with Gianandrea Noseda.

Leonard’s recent awards include the Mr and Mrs Gerald Frank New Churchill Fellowship, an Australia Council Career Development Grant, and an Ars Musica Australis Arts Fellowship. Leonard was a finalist for 2016 Young Australian of the Year, and was named 2016 Young Canberra Citizen of the Year for Youth Arts and Multimedia.

Leonard Weiss’ position as Cybec Assistant Conductor is supported

by Cybec Foundation.

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

ROBERT COSSOM CURATOR/PERCUSSION

Robert Cossom was born in Hobart, and learned everything he knows from Eric Johnstone and Tom O’Kelly. He is proud to have worked with and to be a friend of them both. He starting playing casually with the Tasmanian Symphony Orchestra at age 15, and was appointed to a permanent position in the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra in 1995. Personal highlights of his MSO career include playing with KISS and The Wiggles, and working with Sir Andrew Davis. He created and endows the MSO Snare Drum Award for undergraduate students.

Robert’s music has been played by, among others, the TYO Percussion Ensemble, the TSO and the MSO Chamber Players. He has also been composer-in-residence for the Sydney Youth Orchestras.

Robert likes sunsets, long walks on the beach, and being caught in the rain. He is supported by Zildjian, Evans Drumheads, Pearl Drums and Just Percussion. His music is published by Rhythmscape Australia.

Robert’s position is supported by Drs Rhyl Wade and Clem Gruen

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

THE CONSORT OF MELBOURNE VOCAL ENSEMBLE The Consort of Melbourne is an elite vocal ensemble that champions both historic and contemporary repertoire, comprising a core membership of eight of Melbourne’s finest chamber singers under the artistic direction of Steven Hodgson.

The Consort of Melbourne brings 1000 years of vocal music to life with an intimacy and verve that leaves audiences spellbound. Our concert programmes include celebrated masterpieces heard alongside rarely-heard musical gems, exploring the full expressive potential of the human voice.

Usually appearing as an octet, the Consort is an extremely versatile ensemble that has performed at smaller venues and functions as a vocal quartet and at larger venues as a choir of up to 30 singers. The Consort has presented a regular concert series at Melbourne Recital Centre for many years, and has also been invited to collaborate with groups such as the Rolling Stones, Australian Chamber Orchestra, Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, Australian Youth Orchestra, Melbourne Youth Orchestra, the Song Company, La Compañia and Spiritualized.

Since its establishment in 2008, The Consort of Melbourne has continued to engage the concert-going public with fresh and exciting performances in a wide range of genres. It has featured on ABC Classic FM on frequent occasions, including a broadcast of works by Percy Grainger and also Claudio Monteverdi’s famous Vespers of 1610.

CONSORT SINGERS FOR THIS CONCERT Katherine Norman Soprano 1 Kristy Biber Soprano 2 Hannah Pietsch Alto Timothy Reynolds Tenor Steven Hodgson Bass 1* Andrew O’Connor Bass 2# * Artistic Director # Guest Artist

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MICHELLE WOOD CELLO

Anne-Marie Johnson joined the First Violin section of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra in 2018. She won First Prize in the 2014 Dorcas McClean Scholarship Competition and the 2013 ANAM concerto competition.

She has been selected to participate in several international competitions including the 2017 Bartok World Violin Competition and Festival, the 2015 Seoul International Violin Competition and the 2015 Melbourne International Chamber Music Competition. She has appeared as soloist with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, Tasmanian Symphony Orchestra, Melbourne Chamber Orchestra, Corpus Medicorum and the ANAM orchestra. She was a founding member of the Australian Octet and has performed chamber music in the Musica Viva, Vasse Felix, Port Fairy Spring Music and Melbourne Festivals. She completed a master’s degree in Geneva, Switzerland under Prof. Mihaela Martin and studied at the Australian National Academy of Music with William Hennessy. She also holds a Bachelor of Music from the Sydney Conservatorium.

Michelle Wood joined the MSO cello section in 2009 and was the founding cellist of the internationally acclaimed Tinalley String Quartet.

Anne-Marie’s position is supported by David Horowicz

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

ANNE-MARIE JOHNSON VIOLIN/VIOLA

Michelle has appeared as guest artist with ensembles including the Australian String Quartet, Australia Ensemble, Stargaze Ensemble in Berlin. She has been broadcast widely on radio in Australia and Europe, and is Co-Artistic Director of ‘Concerts Sans Frontières’ (Concerts Without Borders). She has been acting Principal and Guest Associate Principal Cellist in the Melbourne and Adelaide Symphony Orchestras respectively, and has performed with the Melbourne Chamber Orchestra and the Australian World Orchestra.

Michelle is also a passionate teacher and mentor, working with students from the University of Melbourne, Australian National Academy of Music, Melbourne Youth Orchestra, Australian Youth Orchestra, and Melbourne Symphony Fellowship Programs.

Michelle’s position is supported by Andrew and Judy Rogers

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

SARAH BEGGS FLUTE/ALTO FLUTE

PHILIP ARKINSTALL CLARINET/BASS CLARINET

Sarah Beggs has a Bachelor of Music Performance with Honours from the Victorian College of the Arts and a Master of Music from the University of Melbourne. In 1998 she won the Leslie Barklamb Scholarship and in 2001 won an Ian Potter Foundation Scholarship to study in Oxford, England. In 2004 Sarah won the wind division of the 3MBS Young Performers Award and began her orchestral career as Principal Flute with Orchestra Victoria.

Philip has been the Associate Principal Clarinet of the MSO since 2009. Before that, he was Principal Clarinet of the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra for 11 years from its inception in 1998.

He won the Australian Woodwind Competition in Brisbane at the age of just 18, as well as the 2MBSFM Young Performer Award in 1996 and the ABC Young Performers Award in 1997. He has appeared as both soloist and Guest Principal Clarinet for every orchestra in the country except Adelaide, where he has worked as an assistant conductor for Richard Mills’ Nativity.

In 2005, Sarah appeared as soloist with the Melbourne New Orchestra and performed in the Melbourne International Chamber Music Festival. Sarah toured with Opera Australia’s OzOpera production of Carmen in 2006 and Madame Butterfly in 2008. Sarah is now a permanent member of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra as Second Flute.

Sarah also performs with The Arcko Symphonic Project and the Melbourne Chamber Orchestra.

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Philip is a co-founder of Plexus, with whom he has commissioned and premiered over 120 new works within its ten-year life span and with whom he has appeared at numerous festivals across Australia, notably the Desert Song Festival in Alice Springs in 2023, Port Fairy and Brunswick Beethoven. He has played with chamber groups including the Australia Ensemble, Melbourne Chamber Orchestra, Australian Chamber Orchestra, Goldner Quartet, Auer Quartet, Eggner Trio and Australysis.

He is also a co-founder of The Melbourne Ensemble and teaches chamber music at The University of Melbourne.

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

LOUISA BREEN PIANO

Melbourne-born pianist Louisa Breen graduated with a Bachelor of Music (Honours) from the University of Melbourne and completed a Masters in Musical Performance at the Royal College of Music in London, followed by two years as an RCM Junior Fellow.

While in the UK, Louisa won many prizes including the highest prize for piano at the Royal College of Music, the Chappell Gold Medal. She has performed as a soloist and chamber musician throughout Asia, Australia, Europe and New Zealand. In 2004, Louisa won the piano section of the prestigious Royal Overseas League Music Competition, followed shortly by her solo Wigmore Hall debut. In 2005 Louisa returned to live in Melbourne and has been working as a freelance pianist since. She performs regularly as a solo and chamber musician, and is a regular pianist with the Melbourne and Sydney Symphony Orchestras.

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

PROGRAM NOTES RICHARD MEALE

(1932–2009)

Incredible Floridas 1. Prelude: voyelles 2. fêtes de la faim 3. Sonata I: Le Bateau Ivre 4. Interlude: phrases – veillées – génie 5. Sonata II: une saison en enfer 6. Postlude: une saison en enfer, matin – adieu A landmark in Australian chamber music, Incredible Floridas cemented Richard Meale’s reputation as one of the nation’s leading post-war composers. It was commissioned and premiered in 1971 by The Fires of London ensemble and their conductor, the English composer Peter Maxwell Davies (1934–2016). Anticipation had run high after the success of his previous works, including the Sonata for Flute and Piano, Nocturnes, Very High Kings, and Clouds now and then.

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Incredible Floridas pays homage to the French Surrealist poet Arthur Rimbaud (1854–1891). In his program note for the London premiere, Meale wrote: “How to pay tribute to a poet who works ‘to make oneself a seer’, who wants ‘to arrive at the unknown by the disordering of all the senses’?

Guided by this concept, Meale “let [the work] write itself.” Scored as a sextet for woodwind, percussion and strings, Incredible Floridas is an intense and highly evocative piece. In a piercingly direct sound world, the work comprises six movements named after poems by Rimbaud, including Le Bateau Ivre (The Drunken Boat), which contains the titular reference to ‘incredible floridas’.

KATY ABBOTT

(b. 1971)

Hidden Thoughts I: Do I Matter? i: introduction – taking chances ii: teabag iii: runaway iv: eat whatever I want v: do I matter? vi: stop talking vii: interlude: ghostly viii: sweet sixteen ix: what would you like to be braver about (brave enough) x: support her, protect her xi: what have you learned to be brave about? (stronger, smarter, prettier) xii: cigarettes on the ground xiii: interlude: crazy dreams… a silver thread xiv: my lover is a woman xv: beauty & ashes xvi: do I matter? (reprise) The Consort of Melbourne vocal ensemble ‘Become the witness to your thoughts and then you are no longer the slave to them’.

Eckhart Tolle Hidden Thoughts goes to the heart of our humanity. It is where the intensely personal meets the public arena. Film and theatre have always hinged on this duality of ‘revelation’, the outing or uncovering of a dark and long held secret. In music, whether listening or making it, our innermost thoughts, fears, phobias tend to be sublimised in a more abstract field of sound over time, and while varying emotions are elicited this experience can more remote. Hidden Thoughts aims to make the link between

Our hidden thoughts are anything but abstract, and putting them on paper makes it very tangible, no matter how anonymous. It breaks taboos! Selfcensorship is alive and well in western civilisation. It is exactly what makes this piece so promising and timely. It also breaks the mould of what we expect music to achieve. And we explored in the process of developing this work, whether music will act as a mitigating or ‘smoothing’ factor or whether it will make the choices starker or more confronting. Fascinating!

Our unexpressed thoughts affect our personal life choices, which in turn, affect our society; how generous, fearful etc we are. Hearing our hidden thoughts aloud can sometimes break their hold on us or simply bring them further into our conscious world.

The hidden thoughts in this piece come from women who spoke anonymously through an online survey.

The composer asked four questions: • Do you have hidden thoughts and feelings? Tell me what they are.

• What have you learned to be brave about?

• What would you like to be braver about?

• Would you like to say anything more about hidden thoughts and/or courage?

More than two hundred women replied.

The composer says ‘reading through the responses was a deeply humbling experience. While the words only reflect some of the thoughts, the music is as much about the thoughts that were not included as the ones that were’.

Hidden Thoughts is a journey into that murky place, the chatter in your head; as dark as it is ridiculous, and it will

ask you to consider the thoughts that confine you and to become their witness rather than their slave.

Hidden because they cannot be heard.

Hidden because no one should have to hear them, not least your friends and loved ones. Hidden because they are absurd, they will surely be judged, they will rankle with what is expected of us as parents, as partners, as children, and as people who must function within the confines of what is right; what is socially acceptable.

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

personal disclosure and music expression more immediate and closely linked.

Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston and is well known for her work in vulnerability and shame. The shame of women she says, is driven by a sense of not being and doing enough; it is all the things we think we should be doing, all the things that are expected of us, all the things we wish we were doing instead. Our shame is what confines us, shuts us down, breaks us, tames us and keeps us small. It stops us from being brave and courageous and it is driven by that insidious tangle of thoughts.

Thanks to the women who submitted their thoughts anonymously. Your responses are full of heart, hilarity, depth, grief and generosity.

Thanks also to Laila Engle, Kaz Cooke, Melbourne Conservatorium of Music, Bundanon Trust, Carol Sandiford, Maureen Johnson, Stuart Greenbaum, John Davis, Nicole Maher, Val and Peter Lardy, The Song Company, Syzygy Ensemble.

And always, Kipling, Finnegan and Zeke Abbott. © Maureen Johnson

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The text in this section is a curated libretto of anonymous responses to a digital questionnaire sent out by the composer in 2015 (see program note for details). Today’s performance also includes anonymous thoughts from today’s audience. i: introduction – taking chances ii: teabag A teabag? Sorry, unacceptable. iii: run away I want to run away.

Changing my name, jumping on a plane to an unknown destination.

Passport secretly into my handbag.

Sometimes my life seems complex; out of control.

My psyche hurts.

I am not brave.

Looking foolish.

I want to run away. iv: eat whatever I want

I secretly admire people who are totally covered in tattoos.

Oh my god! I have a huge hair on my chin! How did I not notice that yesterday?

Oh My god!

What the f@$k!

I can’t get a job four Uni degrees!

I’m old and ugly. v: do I matter?

Do I matter? Am I loved?

Just head to the bar and order a drink.

Do I actually love him? Are my standards too high?

Am I a hypocrite? Can I be the best with him in my life?

Just head to the bar and order a drink.

I am afraid that thirty per-cent of my cognitive life has been preoccupied with my body image and of course my body weight.

I need you, please love me, I love you, don’t leave me alone – I’m lonely.

Do we have to settle and compromise?

I love my boss he’s twenty-five years younger than me. I confess everything to him almost daily, every night when I’m home a-lone.

What if I am left with regret?

Am I smart or arrogant? Or just lazy?

Am I sick or indulgent?

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

LIBRETTO

Just head to the bar and order a drink.

Do I matter? Am I loved? vi: stop talking Stop Talking. Just stop talking.

Would I be happy if I let myself eat whatever I want and then I got fat?

I fantasise about having sex with women, but I don’t follow through.

Please turn pages quietly

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HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

vii: interlude: ghostly viii: sweet sixteen Why am I in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want sex with me?

I want to be loved and cherished.

I want to know which men have had the snip and which men have not!

It’s getting to that stage that I’m afraid to admit my lack of experience.

Sweet sixteen and never been kissed is kind-a cute but twenty-six is a little pathetic!

I have four tattoos, my parents don’t know – please don’t tell them!

I feel like I have stolen from my spouse and my children – the chance for them to have a meaningful relationship with me. I wish I could open up to them. Put my neck on the line.

And I’ve learned to be brave with my thoughts instead of being quiet all the time.

And tell my Mum I love her; and not to hurt her And tell my Dad I love him, not pretending nothing happens.

I could kill someone if I had to.

x: support her; protect her

I wish I’d always been faithful.

I hate it when people tell me I have a great attitude to life’s hardships. But the fact is no one wants to hear the truth about how difficult everyday can be and how the constancy of illness is slowly grinding me down.

It’s like they are congratulating me for breathing.

I’m disorganised. I need a P. A. I’ve gone natural. Accepting the greys.

I tend to be the person who says what other people think.

It would be wonderful if I could sing like no one is listening.

You are boring me; your kid’s behaviour is a reflection of your parenting! I wish you cared more about the world!

Can you not like yourself as I like you? ix: what would you like to be braver about? (brave enough) I think it would be good if I was brave enough to tell strangers they look beautiful.

I think it would be good if I was brave enough to dance down the street when the sun is shining.

And it would be good to approach someone who is crying.

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Write a letter to the paper.

Wear brightly coloured clothing and say how much ‘I love you’.

[I’ve learned to be brave about] My mother’s alcoholism and depression.

No-one except my siblings and I know how bad it is.

We never speak about it.

We minimise it between each other.

We cover for her, protect her, support her.

I have to pretend to have hope and vibrancy, otherwise they can’t take it.

They change the subject or minimise my experience when I complain.

I feel a constant simmering rage that I am struggling to live with but how do I explain that and maintain my friendships?

Hearing criticism from my husband.

You have to be a lion to survive without losing your femininity.

I’d like to get better at making new friends.

What if he left me for someone kinder, slimmer... not a drunk?

Suck it up Princess.

Speaking without fear.

I don’t think I’m very brave.

Getting older.

I am still afraid to tell anyone about the domestic violence – emotional, financial, physical – I experienced. I have helped abused women, yet I am too ashamed to say it happened to me.

Surviving in front of people who appear to have a greater aura of repose, or glamour, or achievement, responsibility, or talent, than me.

Saying things to friends they might not like to hear.

Crippling doubt about my mind, my lover, my body, my artistic abilities.

The loss of my mother at an early age.

Being on my own.

Being me.

Changing friendships.

Lives ending around me.

That I had the choice to be the wife of a husband and mother of a child.

Instead life has dealt me the hand of a successful professional career woman.

Not being a mother.

The underlying sadness in my family Scared of living, scared of dying.

Want my freedom and security.

My thoughts go round and round, emotions overflow.

Losing those you love I am stronger, smarter, prettier than I realise. xii: cigarettes on the ground I’m afraid to speak up when strangers are rude, like when they throw cigarettes on the ground.

Or playing loud music on public transport even though I know my silence perpetuates their rudeness.

HIDDEN THOUGHTS I | 21 April

xi: what have you learned to be brave about? (stronger, smarter, prettier)

I’d have a huge sense of relief if my mother were to die. I am afraid of losing what’s left of my youth to being her carer. It saps me.

Over taking on the road; I just don’t do that! I’ll sit behind a caravan two hundred Kms. And then pull over rather than take over!

And some days I wish I’d had more children.

Some days I wish I’d had less children.

I wish I had children.

Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I nearly died in January. I dearly wanted to jump off a bridge. I came pretty close to it actually.

Give me back my twenty-five year old body!

I’m not sure I believe in God any more.

I wish I could pull the doona over my head!

Please turn pages quietly

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xiii: interlude: crazy dreams… a silver thread (ensemble only) xiv: my lover is a woman My lover is a woman who isn’t my partner and my partner is not my lover.

This is a sadness I keep to myself.

I wonder if I could be more than what I am?

I wonder what life would be like now if I’d been more daring in my twenties?

Let’s get over middle class choices that can be judged as our middle-class anxieties.

I’m afraid to say I love you!

I am afraid to say I am afraid.

What would I do? Who would I be if he left me for some-one slimmer? For someone kinder? Not a drunk?

xv: beauty & ashes I am ever hopeful that beauty will replace ashes one day.

After many lost pregnancies, we have had to accept that we will not be parents.

Everyone says to me it’s time to move on with your life. ‘Are you still sad? That’s the thing about loss – if one stays with it, one is ‘wallowing’, ‘stuck’, ‘not moving on’. ‘reflecting too much’, needing anti-depressants….. Grief is lonely and unremitting.

[In reference to Gorecki’s Symphony of Sorrowful Songs]. The double bass lines bear the weight of my grief and the soprano sings exacerbations of my sorrow.

It’s the quiet voice in your head that says ‘let’s try again tomorrow’.

I am ever hopeful that beauty will replace ashes one day. xvi: do I matter? (reprise) Am I loved? Do I matter?

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Student Subsidy Program Anonymous MSO Academy Di Jameson OAM and Frank Mercurio, Mary Armour, Christopher Robinson in memory of Joan P Robinson Jams in Schools Department of Education, Victoria, through the Strategic Partnerships Program, AWM Electrical, Marian and E.H. Flack Trust, Flora & Frank Leith Charitable Trust, Hume City Council Regional Touring Angior Family Foundation, AWM Electrical, Creative Victoria, Freemasons Foundation Victoria, Robert Salzer Foundation Sidney Myer Free Concerts Sidney Myer MSO Trust Fund and the University of Melbourne, City of Melbourne Event Partnerships Program

PLATINUM PATRONS $100,000+ AWM Electrical The Gandel Foundation The Gross Foundation Di Jameson OAM and Frank Mercurio David Li AM and Angela Li Lady Primrose Potter AC CMRI Anonymous (1)

VIRTUOSO PATRONS $50,000+ Jolene S Coultas Dr Harry Imber Margaret Jackson AC Packer Family Foundation Ullmer Family Foundation Weis Family Anonymous (2)

IMPRESARIO PATRONS $20,000+ The Aranday Foundation H Bentley The Hogan Family Foundation David Krasnostein AM and Pat Stragalinos Lady Marigold Southey AC Kim Williams AM The Yulgilbar Foundation Anonymous (2)

Christine and Mark Armour Barbara Bell in memory of Elsa Bell Margaret Billson and the late Ted Billson Jannie Brown Shane Buggle and Rosie Callanan Krystyna Campbell-Pretty AM Andrew Dudgeon AM Jaan Enden Kim and Robert Gearon Dr Mary-Jane H Gething AO Nereda Hanlon and Michael Hanlon AM David Horowicz David R Lloyd Peter Lovell Dr Ian Manning Maestro Jaime Martín Janet Matton AM & Robin Rowe Rosemary and the late Douglas Meagher Farrel and Wendy Meltzer Paul Noonan Opalgate Foundation Ian and Jeannie Paterson Dr Hieu Pham and Graeme Campbell Elizabeth Proust AO and Brian Lawrence Yashian Schauble The Sun Foundation Gai and David Taylor Athalie Williams and Tim Danielson Lyn Williams AM

PRINCIPAL PATRONS $5,000+ Mary Armour John and Lorraine Bates Bodhi Education Fund Julia and Jim Breen Lynne Burgess Ken Ong Chong OAM John Coppock OAM and Lyn Coppock Ann Darby in memory of Leslie J. Darby Mary Davidson and the late Frederick Davidson AM The Dimmick Charitable Trust Tim and Lyn Edward Equity Trustees Bill Fleming Dr John and Diana Frew

Sophie Galaise and Clarence Fraser Carrillo Gantner AC and Ziyin Gantner Dr Rhyl Wade and Dr Clem Gruen Cecilie Hall and the late Hon Michael Watt KC Louis J Hamon OAM Merv Keehn and Sue Harlow Dr Alastair Jackson AM John Jones Peter T Kempen AM Suzanne Kirkham Lucas Family Foundation Dr Jane Mackenzie Gary McPherson The Mercer Family Foundation Anne Neil in memory of Murray A. Neil Newton Family in memory of Rae Rothfield Bruce Parncutt AO David Ponsford Jan and Keith Richards Professor Sam Ricketson and Dr Rosemary Ayton Andrew and Judy Rogers The Rosemary Norman Foundation Guy Ross Helen Silver AO and Harrison Young Brian Snape AM Dr Michael Soon P & E Turner Mary Waldron Janet Whiting AM Dawna Wright and Peter Riedel Igor Zambelli Anonymous (3)

Supporters

MAESTRO PATRONS $10,000+

ASSOCIATE PATRONS $2,500+ Carolyn Baker Marlyn Bancroft and Peter Bancroft OAM Sascha O Becker Janet H Bell Alan and Dr Jennifer Breschkin Patricia Brockman Nigel and Sheena Broughton Dr Lynda Campbell Oliver Carton Janet Chauvel and the late Dr Richard Chauvel

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Supporters

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Sage Foundation Kaye Cleary Michael Davies and Drina Staples Leo de Lange Sandra Dent Sophie E Dougall in memory of Libby Harold Barry Fradkin OAM and Dr Pam Fradkin Janette Gill R Goldberg and Family Goldschlager Family Charitable Foundation Colin Golvan AM KC and Dr Deborah Golvan Jennifer Gorog C M Gray Marshall Grosby and Margie Bromilow Ian Kennedy AM & Dr Sandra Hacker AO Susan and Gary Hearst Dr Keith Higgins and Dr Jane Joshi Hartmut and Ruth Hofmann Doug Hooley Gillian Hund OAM and Michael Hund Geoff and Denise Illing Paul and Amy Jasper Sandy Jenkins Ann Lahore Mrs Qian Li Carolynne Marks Margaret and John Mason OAM Ian McDonald H E McKenzie Dr Isabel McLean Christopher Menz and Peter Rose Ian Merrylees Dr Paul Nisselle AM Alan and Dorothy Pattison Ruth and Ralph Renard Peter and Carolyn Rendit James Ring Tom and Elizabeth Romanowski Liliane Rusek and Alexander Ushakoff Jeffrey Sher KC and Diana Sher OAM Steinicke Family Caroline Stuart Robert and Diana Wilson Shirley and Jeffrey Zajac Anonymous (4)

PLAYER PATRONS ($1,000+) Dr Sally Adams Helena Anderson Margaret Astbury Robbie Barker Justine Battistella Michael Bowles & Alma Gill Allen and Kathryn Bloom Joyce Bown Youth Music Foundation Professor Ian Brighthope Miranda Brockman Drs John D L Brookes and Lucy V Hanlon Stuart Brown Suzie Brown OAM and the late Harvey Brown Jill and Christopher Buckley Dr Robin Burns and Dr Roger Douglas Shayna Burns Ronald and Kate Burnstein Peter A Caldwell Josh Chye Jessica Agoston Cleary Breen Creighton and Elsbeth Hadenfeldt Alexandra Champion de Crespigny Mrs Nola Daley Panch Das and Laurel Young-Das Caroline Davies Natasha Davies, for the Trikojus Education Fund Rick and Sue Deering John and Anne Duncan Jane Edmanson OAM Diane Fisher Grant Fisher and Helen Bird Alex Forrest Chris Freelance Applebay Pty Ltd David and Esther Frenkiel Mary Gaidzkar Simon Gaites Anthony Garvey and Estelle O’Callaghan David I Gibbs AM and Susie O’Neill Sonia Gilderdale Dr Celia Godfrey Dr Marged Goode Hilary Hall, in memory of Wilma Collie

Barry Mowszowski Dr Judith S Nimmo Laurence O’Keefe and Christopher James Susan Pelka Ian Penboss Kerryn Pratchett Peter Priest John Prokupets Professor Charles Qin OAM and Kate Ritchie Eli and Lorraine Raskin Roger Parker and Ruth Parker Dr Peter Rogers and Cathy Rogers OAM Dr Ronald and Elizabeth Rosanove Marie Rowland Viorica Samson Marshall Segan in memory of Berek Segan OBE and Marysia Segan P Shore Janet and Alex Starr Dr Peter Strickland Dr Joel Symons and Liora Symons Russell Taylor and Tara Obeyesekere Geoffrey Thomlinson Frank Tisher OAM and Dr Miriam Tisher Andrew and Penny Torok Christina Turner Ann and Larry Turner Sandra and the late Leon Velik Jayde Walker Edward and Paddy White Nic and Ann Willcock Lorraine Woolley Dr Kelly and Dr Heathcote Wright George Yeung Demetrio Zema Anonymous (13)

Supporters

David Hardy Tilda and the late Brian Haughney Cathy Henry Dr Jennifer Henry Anthony and Karen Ho Rod Home Lorraine Hook Jenny and Peter Hordern Katherine Horwood Penelope Hughes Jordan Janssen Shyama Jayaswal Basil and Rita Jenkins Jane Jenkins Emma Johnson Wendy Johnson Sue Johnston John Kaufman Angela Kayser Drs Bruce and Natalie Kellett Dr Anne Kennedy Akira Kikkawa Dr Judith Kinnear Dr Richard Knafelc and Mr Grevis Beard Tim Knaggs Professor David Knowles and Dr Anne McLachlan Dr Jerry Koliha and Marlene Krelle Jane Kunstler Kerry Landman Janet and Ross Lapworth Bryan Lawrence Lesley McMullin Foundation Dr Jenny Lewis Phil Lewis Dr Kin Liu Andrew Lockwood Elizabeth H Loftus Chris and Anna Long John MacLeod Wayne McDonald and Kay Schroer Lois McKay Dr Eric Meadows Professor Geoffrey Metz Sylvia Miller Ian Morrey and Geoffrey Minter Dr Anthony and Dr Anna Morton

OVERTURE PATRONS $500+ Jane Allan and Mark Redmond Mario M Anders Jenny Anderson Dr Judith Armstrong and Robyn Dalziel Doris Au Lyn Bailey Mr Robin Batterham Peter Berry and Amanda Quirk Dr William Birch AM

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Supporters

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Richard Bolitho Dr Robert Brook Elizabeth Brown Roger and Coll Buckle Daniel Bushaway Jungpin Chen Dr John Collins Gregory Crew Sue Cummings Oliver and Matilda Daly Suzanne Dembo Carol des Cognets Bruce Dudon Margaret Flatman Brian Florence M C Friday David and Geraldine Glenny Hugo and Diane Goetze Louise Gourlay OAM Christine Grenda Dawn Hales George Hampel AM KC and Felicity Hampel AM SC John Hill William Holder Gillian Horwood Noelle Howell and Judy Clezy Oliver Hutton Rob Jackson Irene Kearsey & Michael Ridley John Keys Lesley King Dr Kim Langfield-Smith Pauline and David Lawton Paschalina Leach Kay Liu David Loggia Helen Maclean Eleanor & Phillip Mancini Joy Manners Dr Morris and Helen Margolis Sandra Masel in memory of Leigh Masel Janice Mayfield Gail McKay Shirley A McKenzie Alan Meads and Sandra Boon

Adrian and Louise Nelson Marian Neumann Ed Newbigin Valerie Newman Amanda O’Brien Brendan O’Donnell Jillian Pappas Phil Parker Sarah Patterson The Hon Chris Pearce and Andrea Pearce William Ramirez Geoffrey Ravenscroft Dr Christopher Rees Professor John Rickard Michael Riordan and Geoffrey Bush Fred and Patricia Russell Carolyn Sanders Dr Marc Saunders Dr Nora Scheinkestel Julia Schlapp Hon Jim Short and Jan Rothwell Short Madeline Soloveychik Tom Sykes Allison Taylor Reverend Angela Thomas Mely Tjandra Chris and Helen Trueman Rosemary Warnock Amanda Watson Michael Whishaw Deborah and Dr Kevin Whithear OAM Charles and Jill Wright Anonymous (13)

FUTURE MSO ($1,000+) Justine Battistella Shayna Burns Jessica Agoston Cleary Alexandra Champion de Crespigny Josh Chye Barry Mowszowski Jayde Walker Demetrio Zema

Jenny Anderson David Angelovich Lesley Bawden Peter Berry and Amanda Quirk Joyce Bown Patricia A Breslin Jenny Brukner and the late John Brukner Peter A Caldwell Luci and Ron Chambers Sandra Dent Sophie E Dougall in memory of Libby Harold Alan Egan JP Gunta Eglite Marguerite Garnon-Williams Dr Clem Gruen and Dr Rhyl Wade Louis J Hamon OAM Charles Hardman and Julianne Bambacas Carol Hay Dr Jennifer Henry Graham Hogarth Rod Home Lyndon Horsburgh Katherine Horwood Tony Howe Lindsay and Michael Jacombs John Jones Pauline and David Lawton Robyn and Maurice Lichter Christopher Menz and Peter Rose Cameron Mowat Laurence O’Keefe and Christopher James David Orr Matthew O’Sullivan Rosia Pasteur Penny Rawlins Margaret Riches Anne Roussac-Hoyne and Neil Roussac Michael Ryan and Wendy Mead Anne Kieni Serpell and Andrew Serpell Jennifer Shepherd Suzette Sherazee Professors Gabriela and George Stephenson Pamela Swansson Tam Vu and Dr Cherilyn Tillman

Mr and Mrs R P Trebilcock Peter and the late Elizabeth Turner Michael Ullmer AO The Hon Rosemary Varty Francis Vergona Terry Wills Cooke OAM and the late Marian Wills Cooke Mark Young Anonymous (23) The MSO gratefully acknowledges the support of the following Estates: Norma Ruth Atwell Angela Beagley Barbara Bobbe Michael Francois Boyt Christine Mary Bridgart Margaret Anne Brien Ken Bullen Deidre and Malcolm Carkeek The Cuming Bequest Margaret Davies Blair Doig Dixon Neilma Gantner Angela Felicity Glover The Hon Dr Alan Goldberg AO QC Derek John Grantham Delina Victoria Schembri-Hardy Enid Florence Hookey Gwen Hunt Family and Friends of James Jacoby Audrey Jenkins Joan Jones Pauline Marie Johnston Christine Mary Kellam C P Kemp Jennifer Selina Laurent Sylvia Rose Lavelle Peter Forbes MacLaren Joan Winsome Maslen Lorraine Maxine Meldrum Prof Andrew McCredie Jean Moore Joan P Robinson Maxwell and Jill Schultz Miss Sheila Scotter AM MBE Marion A I H M Spence

Supporters

MSO GUARDIANS

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Supporters

Molly Stephens Gwennyth St John Halinka Tarczynska-Fiddian Jennifer May Teague Elisabeth Turner Albert Henry Ullin Jean Tweedie Herta and Fred B Vogel Dorothy Wood Joyce Winsome Woodroffe

Cecilie Hall and the late Hon Michael Watt KC

COMMISSIONING CIRCLE

Elina Fashki, Benjamin Hanlon, Tair Khisambeev, Christopher Moore

Cecilie Hall and the Late Hon Michael Watt KC Tim and Lyn Edward Weis Family

FIRST NATIONS CIRCLE

Nereda Hanlon and Michael Hanlon AM Abbey Edlin

David Horowicz

Anne-Marie Johnson

Dr Harry Imber

Sarah Curro, Jack Schiller

Margaret Jackson AC Nicolas Fleury

Di Jameson OAM and Frank Mercurio Peter T Kempen AM Rebecca Proietto

The late Dr Elizabeth A Lewis AM Anthony Chataway

David Li AM and Angela Li Concermaster Chair

John and Lorraine Bates Colin Golvan AM KC and Dr Deborah Golvan Sascha O. Becker Maestro Jaime Martín Elizabeth Proust AO and Brian Lawrence Guy Ross The Sage Foundation The Kate and Stephen Shelmerdine Family Foundation Michael Ullmer AO and Jenny Ullmer Jason Yeap OAM – Mering Management Corporation

Rosemary and the late Douglas Meagher

ADOPT A MUSICIAN

Dr Martin Tymms and Patricia Nilsson

Craig Hill

Gary McPherson Rachel Shaw

Anne Neil

Eleanor Mancini

Newton Family in memory of Rae Rothfield Cong Gu

The Rosemary Norman Foundation Ann Blackburn

Andrew and Judy Rogers Michelle Wood

Glenn Sedgwick

Tiffany Cheng, Shane Hooton

Shane Buggle and Rosie Callanan

Natasha Thomas

Andrew Dudgeon AM

Prudence Davis

Rohan de Korte, Philippa West

Anonymous

Tim and Lyn Edward

Rachael Tobin

Roger Young

John Arcaro

Dr John and Diana Frew Rosie Turner

Sophie Galaise and Clarence Fraser Stephen Newton

Dr Mary-Jane Gething AO Monica Curro

The Gross Foundation Matthew Tomkins

Dr Clem Gruen and Dr Rhyl Wade Robert Cossom

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Saul Lewis

Anonymous

MSO BOARD

Life Members John Gandel AC and Pauline Gandel AC Sir Elton John CBE Lady Primrose Potter AC CMRI Jeanne Pratt AC Michael Ullmer AO and Jenny Ullmer Anonymous MSO Ambassador Geoffrey Rush AC The MSO honours the memory of Life Members Marc Besen AC Mrs Eva Besen AO John Brockman OAM The Honourable Alan Goldberg AO QC Harold Mitchell AC Roger Riordan AM Ila Vanrenen

Chairman David Li AM Co-Deputy Chairs Margaret Jackson AC Di Jameson OAM Managing Director Sophie Galaise Board Directors Shane Buggle Andrew Dudgeon AM Martin Foley Lorraine Hook Gary McPherson Farrel Meltzer Edgar Myer Glenn Sedgwick Mary Waldron Company Secretary Demetrio Zema

MSO ARTISTIC FAMILY

Supporters

HONORARY APPOINTMENTS

Jaime Martín

Chief Conductor

Benjamin Northey

Principal Conductor Artistic Advisor – Learning and Engagement

Leonard Weiss

Cybec Assistant Conductor

Sir Andrew Davis CBE Conductor Laureate

Hiroyuki Iwaki †

Conductor Laureate (1974–2006)

Warren Trevelyan-Jones MSO Chorus Director

Erin Helyard

Artist in Residence

Karen Kyriakou

Artist in Residence, Learning and Engagement

Christian Li

Young Artist in Association

Katy Abbott

Composer in Residence

Naomi Dodd

Cybec Young Composer in Residence

Deborah Cheetham Fraillon AO First Nations Creative Chair

Xian Zhang

East meets West Ambassador

Artistic Ambassadors Tan Dun Lu Siqing

The MSO relies on your ongoing philanthropic support to sustain our artists, and support access, education, community engagement and more.

We invite our supporters to get close to the MSO through a range of special events.

The MSO welcomes your support at any level. Donations of $2 and over are tax deductible, and supporters are recognised as follows: $500+ (Overture) $1,000+ (Player) $2,500+ (Associate) $5,000+ (Principal) $10,000+ (Maestro) $20,000+ (Impresario) $50,000+ (Virtuoso) $100,000+ (Platinum)

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Thank you to our Partners PRINCIPAL PARTNER

INTERNATIONAL LAW FIRM PARTNER

GOVERNMENT PARTNERS

PREMIER PARTNERS

VENUE PARTNER

EDUCATION PARTNERS

ORCHESTRAL TRAINING PARTNER

MAJOR PARTNERS

SUPPORTING PARTNERS

Quest Southbank

Ernst & Young

MEDIA AND BROADCAST PARTNERS

TRUSTS AND FOUNDATIONS

Freemasons Foundation Victoria

The Sir Andrew and Lady Fairley Foundation, The Angior Family Foundation, Flora & Frank Leith Trust, Perpetual Foundation – Alan (AGL) Shaw Endowment, Sidney Myer MSO Trust Fund