ACTRESS ALYSSA QUILALA + ACTOR EDWIN GAGIANO + WILLIAM MENDOZA + MM FOUNDER JENENE STAFFORD
MAGAZINE
FOR THE RISK-TAKERS
ACTRESS ALYSSA QUILALA
8
Model / Author / Momma
ACTOR/FILMMAKER EDWIN GAGIANO Finds His Purpose Behind The Camera
WILLIAM MENDOZA
GOOD
Founder of La Mission Por Vida
+
NEW SECTION
HOLYWOOD
GOOD FATHER Jenene Stafford's Story by Nissi Guiao
Issue 8: GOOD FATHER
Photo by Beulah Ekkelencamp
THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED
THE PRESENCE OF GOD CHANGES EVERYTHING MORE RELIGION.
THEY NEED LOVE.
SUNDAYS 8:15AM 9:45AM 11:30AM
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passionate music by passionate people
CONTENTS
ISSUE 8 GOOD FATHER
CREATED, DESIGNED & EDITED BY A MIND-BLOWN TEAM OF 2 + A BUNCH OF BEAUTIFUL WRITERS JENENE STAFFORD (FOUNDER) NISSI GUIAO (ROCK STAR) AND A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO OUR AWESOME WRITERS AND A COUPLE OF NEW ADDITIONS, ANDREA BUTSON AND BRETT LEE MILLER
22 BEAUTIFUL & BROKEN LAND
The Brett Lee & Jessica Lynn Miller Journey By Brett Lee Miller
34 FINDING MYSELF The William Mendoza Story By Nissi Guiao
40 MISSING THE MIRACULOUS
44
King Maker Column
GOOD FATHER
By Jeff Wittmer
44 GOOD FATHER Jenene Stafford's Story By Nissi Guiao
54 ACTRESS ALYSSA QUILALA Called to Holywood By Nissi Guiao
54 ALYSSA QUILALA
64
64 ACTOR EDWIN GAGIANO
EDWIN GAGIANO
Finds His Purpose Behind the Camera By Jenene Stafford
4
FOUNDER'S LETTER
43
Jenene Stafford
7
MEGAMORPHOSIS CULTURE Our Mission & Vision
18
BLOG WALL Karina McKaughan
38
GET YOUR PASSION BACK Nissi Guiao
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
TRUTH TELLER MANIFESTO
76
Jenene Stafford
62
THE ACACIA TREE Lori Hill
80
SO GOOD Jenene Stafford
A NEW NAME FOR CALIFORNIA Chris Leeper
70 4 CRAFTSMEN OF SOUND
82
Malvina Laudicina
COMPLETE ABANDONMENT Andrea Butson
74 UNLIMITED CAPACITY
84
Heather Murdock-Unleashed Column
2
YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE Linda Brown
2019
OR EA IN OR DO
DER CH ISSUE PRINT DIGITAL WNLOAD.
MEGAMORPHOSISMAGZINE.COM
founder's Thoughts
THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WORDS FOR ME TO DESCRIBE HOW GOOD THE FATHER IS. grabs my attention when I'm on
3 times. We put a few photos in this issue
Facebook inside the 100x Pro-
for you to see.
gram launch and I see a young
to create a movement from a Spirit-led
introduction video. He's a South
magazine, I would have thought that was
African somebody who he says
a wild idea. Completely unplanned—God
became a "nobody" when he ar-
is doing it. There are no strategic minds
rived here in America. BTW, God
thinking of crazy ways to build a move-
himself is changing that. He won't
ment—it's simply just happening. God is
be a nobody for long.
using this magazine to rise up a flippin'
I hold onto his name until once again HS (Holy Spirit) says reach
MY THOUGHTS ON THE GOOD FATHER ISSUE
N
If someone told me we were going
man named Edwin Gagiano in an
amazing army—creative risk-takers! Speaking of risk-takers, everyone we
out to him via PM about 6 or 7
feature is a risk-taker, they're risking
weeks ago. He said "Your timing
something to be who God is calling
is perfect." Of course, we all know
them to be—non-religious, truth-telling,
that's not true, nope, God's timing
spirit-filled people going where other
is perfect.
Christians are unwilling to go—the dark
This guy is intriguing, to say
places, the hard places, to share Jesus
the least. Yet he claimed origi-
and Christianity in unique and awesome
nally that he's not by saying "I'm
ways.
not that interesting." I knew he
Which brings me to William Mendoza,
was being very humble, but I told
founder of La Mission Por Vida—a former
him "every person is unique and
addict for 18 years—now providing clean
othing like waiting until the last
I believe every person has gold
water to more than a million people in
minute to have things really
in them. It's my job to pull it out."
El Salvador, Mexico, Kenya, Sri Lanka,
come together. Nissi said yester-
He respected that.
Honduras, Cambodia and Guatemala. You
day "I wish we had a cameraman
The next thing I know, a few
around all the time to document
weeks later he's traveling to Sac-
does work miracles and speak to people,
how things really happen around here." Just
town (also known as Sacramento)
some even audibly.
when I think we're done with interviews and
because he had a vision from God
Lastly, this issue's theme is Good Father
we're in writing mode, Alyssa Quilala (wife
showing him he should come and
and Nissi is writing my story for the main
of Chris Quilala—frontman of Jesus Culture)
spend two days with MM. What a
feature. True confessions—I didn't want
comes on the scene and responds to a PM I
blast it was!
to do it, but God was not letting me off the
sent her several weeks ago. I told the Lord
Since the last issue, we had
have to read this wild story! God really
hook. So just a week ago I let Nissi know
"I'm not chasing anyone down—if you want
our first MM event with the Up &
she was going to interview me—and I
her in this issue she's going to have to contact
Comers (songwriters) that totally
trusted her implicitly to write the story.
me." Holy Spirit worked through Brett Lee
rocked! Check out the videos on
Although admittedly I felt weird sharing
Miller and he mentioned Megamorphosis
Instagram @megamorphosismag-
it here on MM—I'm years beyond saying
Magazine at a Jesus Culture event. Then she
azine. I'm thinking I have waaay
"No" to my Lord. It's His will that must be
had the aha moment: That lady sent me a mes-
enough on my plate with MM and
done. I'm a real stickler about that.
sage. She asked me if it was too late and my
now HS says "Keep gathering."
answer would have been yes, BUT that wasn't
Here we go my beautiful MM
like His kid. We're the saints of God and
God's answer. Timing is everything and, more
Family—we're on a wild ride!
our marching orders are coming soon, but
specifically, His timing is everything. Needless
Come hang with us if you're in
you've got to know who you are and live
to say, we're excited to feature Alyssa as an up
Sacramento, or come visit. If you
like you know it. Time to get into position.
and coming actress in our new HOLYWOOD
get a vision like Edwin, it's a good
section.
idea for you to come. Since the
Meanwhile, about 6 months ago, the Lord
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
He is so good—know it for yourself, act
Founder & Creator
last issue we have now "gathered"
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2019
FIND YOUR TRUE NORTH Sign up for a 2019 Spiritual Gym The Dokimos Project is an intense spiritual workout for marketplace influencers that will help you discover your unique identity in Christ, journey of hope and divine assignment. You will be commissioned to advance God's kingdom in your sphere of influence. This 12 week course is targeted for those called to the marketplace but open to all who want to grow their confidence and spiritual gifts. Join a growing number of marketplace ministers who are equipped and commissioned in their unique identity in Christ, gifting, journey of inner healing and calling to bring hope to all spheres of influence.
|
Guest events happening in September 2019 to learn more. Come and check us out and you'll hear stories from other graduates of the impact of Dokimos Project Spiritual Gyms!
www.DokimosProject.com
7 Elements of the Culture of the Megamorphosis Magazine Family We believe that the culture of Megamorphosis Magazine represents the Kingdom of God that Jesus came to establish.
When we gather, this is what it’s about—growing more into the likeness of Jesus and becoming true ambassadors of the Kingdom of God. We’re rising up an army— super soldiers for Jesus and the cause of LOVE.
1.
2.
LOVE
HONOR
We see our tribe as family, not as a guest in our home. We have a love that heals and inspires.
We honor God, our callings in life and each other and we seek out the gold in every person.
3.
4.
We’re going after unity in the Spirit and we’re praying for more revelation.
We forgive just like Jesus forgives us every day. We strive to give no opportunity to the enemy.
UNITY
5.
TRUTH
Jesus is the Way, the Truth & the Life and He’s our solid foundation.
Our Culture Is One of Love, Honor, Unity, Forgiveness, Truth, Bravery & Sacrifice
FORGIVENESS
#shareradicallove #expectmiracles #nocottoncandychristianity
6.
BRAVERY We are: B. Bold & Brilliant R. Rulers and Rolemodels
7.
SACRIFICE
We sacrifice for the needs of the family of God and we strive to put others’ needs above our own.
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
A. Anointed & Accountable V. Valiant & Victorious E. Enlightened & Engaged
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2019
we are people of light willing and able to pierce. darkness.
- JENENE STAFFORD
SECTIONS OF MM RISK-TAKERS Pe o p l e w i l l i n g t o risk it all for Jesus We’re creative risk-takers defying status quo Christianity.
UP & COMERS M u s i c i a n s & S o n g w r i t e rs People, maybe unkown, but God is making known in the marketplace
MOVERS & SHAKERS Movements on the rise Movements that are shaking things up for the sake of the Father’s heart
THEN & NOW The new Jesus movement People passionately to bring LOVE and the power of the Kingdom to earth
ROOTS O u r J e w i s h ro o t s Learning to understand the Jewish festivals and the mysteries of the Bible
The Good Father Is Calling Us to Go Everywhere
OUR VISION: To remember the new commandment Jesus gave— to love one another (John 15:5).
OUR TRIBE:
“At the heart of all that we do is to take Jesus’ words seriously—to GO— not sit and wait for people to show up at church on Sunday.”
We’re creative risk-takers, shaking things up & defying status-quo Christianity.
WHAT WE STRIVE FOR:
Megamorphosis Magazine is a spirit-led magazine. We’re passionate about highlighting what’s on God’s heart and who He is using to go into the marketplace. We’re not out searching for people—we’re simply listening for HS (Holy Spirit) to disrupt our lives and our agenda so every day—every hour even, we’re available to hear who and whar God wants put on these pages.
CHECK OUT THE ENDORSEMENT VIDEO ON OUR INSTAGRAM PAGE @MEGAMORPHOSISMAGAZINE.
OUR MISSION: To go. To send. To love.
1) To be on God’s agenda, not our own. 2) To be exactly who God has mandated us to be—nothing more and nothing less. 3) To fulfill Jesus’ request to “display the beauty and uniqueness of His bride” per the words of Jesus himself. 4) To be authentic and real (not religious) and to share radical love with the world through every means.
“Megamorphosis is going to be God’s tool to stir up those revival passions in this generation and capture what the Holy Spirit is doing in the lives of His people.”
GLIMPSE A p ro p h e t i c g l i m p s e i n t o t h e f u t u re Prophetic people bringing vision, wisdom and words from Holy Spirit
VOICES & ART Sp e a ke rs & a r t i s t s bringing brilliance God is using our voice and art to share His heart with the world
HOLYWOOD A c t o rs a n d p ro d u c e rs called to bring Jesus t o t h e b i g s c re e n A new Hollywood will rise in a new place and we’re going to document it
HF (HOLY FASHIONISTA) Models, fashion, beauty & wellness
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
Dr. John Jackson, President of William Jessup University, Endorses MM
DR. JOHN JACKSON, the president of William Jessup University, is a contributing writer for MM and a genuine supporter. Three years ago, Jenene Stafford, creator of MM, sat down and met privately with John and shared the vision she had from
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Jesus and she said she “couldn’t shake the vision of seeing the magazine in print” and John authentically said “How many people have told you you were crazy?” Jenene said, “Plenty, but it only matters what Jesus says.” Although every issue is a financial challenge to get it published, still miraculously
Jenene and Nissi (at this point) make the editing and production happen because of sheer determination to believe that MM is in fact, a mandated piece of art created by the Father’s hand, it is a healing magazine and a beacon of light.
2019
#God is not obligated to bless you when you’re not willing to do what He asks you to do.”
+ Pastor Craig Sweeney Bayside Citrus Heights
The only way to access the new place is to leave the old. + Pastor Craig Sweeney, Bayside Citrus Heights
The same Spirit that lives in you raised Jesus from the dead—act like it. + Jenene Stafford 11
MEGAMORPHOSISMAGAZINE.COM
1.
FAV’S
THE SEND The send gathered in February of 2019 and is gearing up for Sao Paulo, Brazil in 2020. Their focus is missions and evangelism. www.thesend.org
A new Jesus movement is rising & Megamorphosis Magazine is not only documenting it, we’re part of it! Check out the movements and events we love.
2. FAV’S
GATHERING AT THE WORLD PEACE ROSE GARDEN ON WORLD PEACE DAY If you happen to be in Sacramento, California come and gather with us. Every event is unique because they’re Spirit-led just like our magazine. An Army Reigning Ministry will be joining us and leading us into a time of intercession with incredible and spontaneous music. Also, Anita Alexander is coming all the way from Australia to speak to us about establishing Kingdom Government. We will be declaring the sovereignty of Christ over the nations and praying in unity for God to heal our lands. PLEASE CONTACT US VIA PM ON FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM IF YOU’D LIKE TO ATTEND. The event begins at 6:30 p.m.
FIRE & FRAGRANCE Join the YWAM community led by Andy Byrd, center your life on Jesus and run after your God given calling.
https://www.fireandfragrance.com/
books we love. FAV’S
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
September 21st Megamorphosis Magazine will have a Sound Makers Event
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2019
Click the Instalove icon to watch.
Our Launch Gathering was a total blast & we didn’t even know it was the first of many gatherings to come Go to Instagram.com/megamorphosismagazine to see videos
After two years in print we knew it was time to bring our amazing tribe of followers, team members and the Up & Comers ( singers and songwriters) together to formally launch Megamorphosis. However, what came as a surprise was that God wanted us to keep gathering after the initial event. Within a couple of weeks I got the word “keep gathering” and it was time to gather again. Since the last issue of MM we’ve gathered 3 times and with everything on our plate producing the magazine, we
started doing potlucks. No time for formal events around here . . .yet. The point is to build a family culture and believe me it wasn’t my plan, but God’s. We all felt it in the room, something really special was happening. Then the Lord challenged us that we were treat every person like family—not like a guest—and
+ Jenene Stafford
to really love one another. He showed us what it was like with Jesus and the apostles and I felt like we tapped into something ancient, yet something new. I heard it! “You’re going to lead the charge in the New Jesus Movement.” Wow! What exactly does that mean? He said, “keep following me.”
IT’S COMING SOON! NISSI GUAIO DOES A DEEP DIVE OF HER FAVORITE INTERVIEWS ON VIDEO Anyone who knows Nissi Guaio or follows her on social media knows two things, she loves Instagram and doing live Facebook videos. She loves to document EVERYTHING going on in her life and journey. She seems to have a thing for Starbucks too! Anyway, we asked her since she loves video so much if she’d be willing to choose her favorite interviews and share her big beautiful heart about it. Of course she said, “yes.” You’ll be able to watch on Instagram @megamorphosismagazine.
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MEGAMORPHOSISMAGAZINE.COM
James Love & Heights Music rocked and people saw angels
merch we love.
www.chrchapparel.com
Watch on IGTV Click the Instalove icon to watch.
THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE SAID—THEY SAW ANGELS. NO JOKE. James Love has a voice like an angel and apparently important angels standing behind him. It’s no wonder his story is remarkable. We featured James in an article in Issue 6 of Megamorphosis. His story of forgiveness had to be told.10 years ago he was left to die after being jumped and beaten by 3 men. He had suffered with brain and neck trauma for years. His pain was so intense he was about to commit suicide and . . . you have to read the article.
3. CIRCUIT RIDERS Circuit Riders is a complete ministry of Youth With A Mission, focused on reaching Universities and High Schools. CR is a missional community based in Huntington Beach, California. https://crmovement.com/
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
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2019
Heights Music is on the scene. Just watch and see! HEIGHTS MUSIC IS BASED IN CITRUS HEIGHTS, CALIFORNIA. Led by Serge Moskalets and Brett Lee Miller with a bunch of on fire female rock stars in the Kingdom. Look our Jesus Culture. Bethel & Hillsong ‘cause there’s a new kid in town and we need more light! Both Serge and Brett have been featured in MM in Issue 5.
MM merch
See website or click image.
Click the Instalove icon to watch.
https://www.instagram.com/heights.music/
4. LIFESTYLE CHRISTIANITY Lifestyle Christianity is a ministry that exists to help people brave the waves of fear and share the love of Jesus everywhere that they go. https://lifestylechristianitycom/
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MEGAMORPHOSISMAGAZINE.COM
it’s mystical
& POWERFUL
& LIFE CHANGING TO MAKE A DECLARATION TO FOLLOW JESUS.
-DR. JOHN JACKSON
music we love.
FATHER OF HOPE HEIGHTS MUSIC
Seth Kaminsky is a new Up & Comer Songwriter NOTHING BUT GOOD CHRIS QUILALA (SINGLE)
SETH IS BASED IN SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA Seth Kaminsky is an alternative pop singer-songerwriter/live-looping artist from Savannah, Georgia who moved to California 3 years ago. Currently he resides in the Roseville area where he continues to hone his ability as songwriter and performer. As an independent artist, Seth creates from a personal place but strives to share his music in a way that is creative, encouraging, relatable, and entertaining. As a live-looping artist Seth has a unique ability to create live backing tracks that make this one man sound like a full band. Outside of performing and writing his original songs, you can often find Seth playing background music at various breweries, wineries, and miscellaneous events. Teaching private drum lessons. Continuing to spread his name via YouTube and other social media platforms. Drinking lots of coffee. And hanging out/going on adventures with his wife, Sierra.
GOOD ISLA VISTA WORSHIP & BRE REED (SINGLE)
Seth is extremely passionate and driven to see his music go places and believes big things are coming. He is currently working to release some new music by the end of this year and just continue playing anywhere and everywhere he can find. If you would like more information on Seth as well as show dates. Check out the various links below.
WEBSITE
https://www.sethkaminskymusic.com
https://www.instagram.com/sethkaminskymusic/
https://www.facebook.com/sethkaminskymusic/
JOURNEY WITHIN MY SOUL
CONFIDENCE
JUSTIN GAMBINO
SETH KAMINSKY
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KARINA MCKAUGHAN New Beginnings
WE PICKED TWO BLOGS THAT REALLY INSPIRED US AND WE GOT PERMISSION TO PUBLISH THEM HERE AT MM. ONE, FEATURES OUR VERY OWN NISSI GUIAO "FROM MY HEART TO YOURS" AND THE OTHER BLOG WE LOVE IS FROM KARINA ELISE.
by Karina McKaughan
I’ve always heard of the insomniac that has all of their most creative ideas late at night. Well, that’s almost never been me, until tonight. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been desiring to start a blog for a year now. In fact, the idea has crossed my mind several times, but I never knew where to begin. I knew it would happen eventually, but my ideas for content never seemed to fully align together. Now I’m about to enter a whole new phase of life, with a few exciting stories in my back pocket, so here we go…. This is for all of my friends and family who want a deeper look into my life, a safe haven for me to share some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head for quite some time. I wanted to keep my social media pages safe because I already probably type too much on my posts. But you have no idea how much more goes on up in my noggin. SO LET’S GET THIS STARTED. I’m going to share a story from a year and a half ago because it directly correlates with this season of my life. I had just gotten my job at Peet’s, and my family planned a vacation to Mexico. The entire time we were on vacation, I found myself wishing that it wasn’t just a vacation, but also a missions trip, but that’s a whole other story in and of itself. Anyway, one night, I went for a walk on the beach with my dad. It was pitch black outside so you could barely see the ocean. I closed my eyes to talk to the Lord, the waves just barely coming up to the tip of my big toe. All of a sudden I heard Him speak.
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
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“Karina, do you feel that water touching your toe?” He asked. “Yes, I feel it.”
"That's how much of my presence you have experienced. He replied. WHAT?!? I was shocked. That’s how much? I thought I’ve had so many encounters, things that happened in my life that were undeniably Him! How could I only have experienced that little? Suddenly I had an urge to run into the water full force, but I remembered that it’d actually be pretty dangerous since it was dark outside. So internally, I told the Lord that I wanted to go all in. I wanted to experience all of who He is, I wanted to dive deep into His presence. If all I had encountered was a big toe’s worth, then there must have been so much to Him that I was missing. I wanted to experience it all. “I want to dive all the way in, Lord!” I said to him. “Not right now, it wouldn’t be safe,” He said, referring not only to the physical jumping into the ocean at night, but also spiritually. Again, I was horribly confused. Not safe? When was He ever NOT SAFE? Fast forward to about 6 months later. I was already a month into CR Experience, living in Huntington Beach, feeling… well honestly? Horrible. Not because anything bad was happening, but there were a couple of friendships in my life that needed desperately to be reconciled. I was hurt, and I really needed to forgive these people. I was actually feeling a little bit numb at this point. I went to the beach with a dear friend of mine, and we looked into the moving waves. I had just finished telling her about some things that were deep on my heart, when I began to feel the waves pulling at my attention. I remembered this moment I had with God in Mexico about diving all in. I looked into the waves. This time, I wasn’t so ready to go fully into His presence. The thought didn’t really excite me the same way that it used to. Why? Because I knew that if I did, it would pull every inconsistency out of me, and honestly I had some bitterness inside that I needed to deal with. I knew that I couldn’t run into the waves unless I forgave these two people. But the Lord wanted me to forgive them, even if I didn’t feel like it. He told me to run into the ocean physically, even though I wasn’t wearing a swimsuit, and just forgive them. That was the way into His presence. So I did it. I ran into the waves, clothes and all. Even though it was freezing cold and I would have to walk home, wet, as the sun was going down. But you know what? It was completely worth every moment. The moment that I ran into the water, I felt cold shock course through my body, and suddenly I didn’t feel so numb anymore. I said out loud that I forgave them, and a wave immediately smacked me. I knew that I couldn’t go back on my word from that point forward. Why is this story of forgiveness so important? Because I’ve actually been having a lot of conversations with friends recently about bitterness. Bitterness is a root of numbness—it’s when you’ve been wronged, but you hold onto the pain for longer than it’s meant to affect you. You let that pain sit and sit, and can never just let it go and let love in its place! I didn’t have full reconciliation with these two situations until much later, but I didn’t need my circumstance to dictate my emotions. Forgiveness
is a choice.
So what does this have to do with my life right now? Because I’m ready. It’s safe now. The ocean is crazy, it moves back and forth and can be violent at times, but I’m ready to dive fully into everything God has for me, nothing holding me back. No bitterness, no more confusion, no more anxiety. I’m ready to just put my faith and HOPE in Him. And that’s what this next season is going to be all about. It’s a fresh start, yes, but I actually believe it’s a continuation of that very thing that started for me in Huntington Beach. I’m ready to be consumed by the love of Jesus. I’m so excited to step into everything God has for me at BSSM. I’ve felt like this was the next step for almost a year now. I’M DIVING IN!
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NISSI GUIAO
NISSI ROCKS THE PLANET. SHE IS AN AMAZING YOUNG WOMAN AND WE ARE COMPLETELY HONORED AND BLESSED TO HAVE HER AS PART OF OUR TEAM. SHE WRITES WITH PASSION AND VULNERABILITY AND WE ALL SHOULD BE WORKING TOWARDS MORE OF THAT.
The Time for Sleep Is Over
by Nissi Guiao
The alarm sounds. Loud and obnoxious, its anthem sings in the silence of the peaceful morning, makes way for the light of day to be seen through squinting, hesitantly open eyes. It’s morning; it’s time to get up.
LOUD. RINGS. OF BEEPING CELLULAR TUNES. ALARM! ALARM! Screams too high, you hit the Snooze. You either wake up, or you don’t. It’s a choice, a rather difficult one for most. (Well—I, at least, can speak for myself.) It’s hard to wake up when you’re in a deep sleep. It’s actually quite frustrating to have to get up when you’re so stinkin’ comfortable. (Oh, you know, that dreamy position where one leg’s bent, one foot’s exposed, the rest of your body’s under the silky soft covers, one arm’s under the pillow, the other perfectly nesting your delicate head—feels like you’re practically floating in heaven somewhere—and typically, you seem to only find this sweet spot mere moments before you have to get up!) Enter: The Drag. Inevitably, it begins its shift right about then. At the first click of the Snooze, it diligently fights against scrawny discipline. For me, comfort wins more often than not. Knowing this, I actually plan for my own snooze fest. I set about a half a dozen alarms to account for my ridiculous habit. I love my sleep! I hate getting up when I have to.
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I hate alarms, yet in the same breath I’m thankful for them. How else would I get up in the mornings? The beeps and belting rings are nothing short of annoying, but honestly they’re quite necessary. Without them, I wouldn’t wake up on time. If I don’t wake up on time, I wouldn’t get to keep my job. Commonly, I only find it difficult to get up when I need to. There’s only a battle when I have a responsibility. In the mornings when I don’t have to work, it’s easier to plop out of bed without a fight. Why is that? Well, responsibility bears weight. If you want to rise to the occasion, it will always cost you something valuable–your comfort. Throughout my entire existence, I’ve been trained to coddle my comfort. “The easier, the better” has been the norm for as long as I can remember. Just as any parent can spoil a child, I learned to unhealthily feed my comfort to stretch its zones. It feels good in the comfort zones, why fight it? We’re supposed to live within their limits, aren’t we? This is the real life goal, isn’t it? The problem is, we’ve inadvertently stunted our own growth by allowing comfort to rule us. We’ve lost our fight. We’ve forgotten our mandate. We’ve lost our voice. We’ve abandoned our responsibility. We maybe even believe it’s not our job to get up and do something anymore. Snooze, snooze, snooze. We refuse to get up. As a nation, as a people, we’ve become lazy. As supposed Christ-followers, we’ve let comfort drive us into complacency. We’ve unconsciously driven ourselves into a deep sleep—too out of range, out of touch, to wake up to His (God’s) alarms. With all the crap, the heartbreaking devastation sounding off all over the news, how are we still sleeping?
BLATANT MURDERS. OPEN CRIMES. RACIAL INJUSTICE. SEX-TRAFFICKED LIVES. HATE! HATE! DEVASTATING TRAGEDY. SHOOTINGS GONE WILD. BROKEN FAMILIES. WILDFIRES. SHATTERED DREAMS PILED HIGH. ALL LIVES MATTER! HARSH, DESPERATE CRIES! FEAR! FEAR! The alarms are sounding! If we truly love and live for Jesus, it’s time for us to wake up. “You snooze, you lose” couldn’t be any more relevant than right now. We need to get up. The time for sleep is over. Perfect love casts out fear, but we can’t love it away if we aren’t awake to what’s going on around us. We can’t be effective if we’re not even aware. We can’t be ignorant; we can’t be shy. How can we fight with our eyes closed? We need to decide if we’re gonna seriously live for Him, or not. The term Christian should have a new meaning or shouldn’t be our label at all. The responsibility is a choice, and it takes action. Though it means disregarding all comfort to venture into the faith-home of the unknown, it’s our rewarding privilege to take part in bringing positivity and healing to a broken and hurting world. It’s our right—our mandate—to be fiercely loved and to fiercely love. Because of Jesus, we have hope to offer. Because of Jesus, we have more than words or a sorry *sigh* to give. We have Peace to follow when we by all means shouldn’t. We have The Answer, even when we don’t. We have access to a supply of joy and encouragement that never runs dry. I can’t say I was “ready” for this or that I’m not slightly afraid, but my discomfort is a sign that I’m choosing to wake up. I’m done sleeping. Ignorance is the death of us, not bliss. The world won’t change itself… Fam, wake up, it’s time to rise and shine!
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BEAUTIFUL & BROKEN LAND
hey started six years ago doing tent worship as An Army Rising in parks, beaches and business areas of San Diego. In 2017 God changed their name
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"I DON'T JUDGE OTHERS FOR SLIPPING INTO HOPELESSNESS; I JUST THINK WE'RE MISSING A MASSIVE OPPORTUNITY IF THAT'S WHERE WE STAY."
INTRODUCTION THERE’S A LOUD AND BOISTEROUS CULTURE that works hard to keep our eyes on what is negatively seen. When we think of something broken, it’s not common to immediately picture beauty. At least, not in the world we live in. There’s also another extreme on the other end of the spectrum (through religious doctrine/beliefs) that teaches us to almost despise brokenness. Where does that leave us? What should we think and believe? God’s heart is for us to see beauty within the brokenness we feel and know all too well. There is no need to fear it; Jesus is our best example of that. He was broken and bruised, for our sake. And in that act of keeping love on in the midst of such discomfort (to say the least), there became new ground for beauty to grow in the soil of purposeful defeat. God never causes harm, but in His perfect thinking—through His perfect plan and ways—He someway, somehow, uses everything. Pain, suffering, trouble, struggle, all obstacles included. He always makes it “all work together for the good of those who love Him, the ones He that calls for His purpose” (Romans 8:28 paraphrase ). Brett Lee Miller and his beautiful family have been graciously walking through different seasons of brokenness. In and through their suffering, there’s something unique about their journey. No matter how hard it’s gotten, they refuse to let go of God. And He’s never let go of them. Hear Brett's heart in stunning, raw form. Be encouraged—see for yourself how, miraculously, God’s been up to something beautiful in the midst of his experience in learning how to healthily be broken at His feet.
PHOTOS BY CODI ANN BACKMAN & SPENCER BACKMAN
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+ UP & COMERS
Thank you Brett Lee & Jessica Miller for being brave enough to share your incredible journey and intimate photos with us so we can believe and hope again. We love you guys! -Jenene
By Brett Lee Miller
will never forget the feeling of shock as my wife and I drove out of the hospital parking garage. A moment of cold, harsh reality pushed my heart into a cavern that invoked hopelessness like I had never known before. I was afraid. My wife Jessica and I had spent the last few hours holding and saying goodbye to our daughter, Wren, who passed away in her womb. We had a stillbirth that marked us in ways we are still attempting to understand. Months before that, we had a miscarriage. It is tragic how many people I have seen partner with the false ideology that, because we live in a painful world, we have a pain inflicting Father. I find it even more tragic now that I have descended into the depths of my own valleys and have been faced with the same crossroad. I find it tragic because I feel I have a deeper understanding of the beauty that comes through surrendering our broken hearts to a Good Dad that is more present than we could ever comprehend. There have been days where my true response to pain has been to hide. It is true, we as humans have an instinctual response to 'hurt' and that response usually includes running. This is understandable considering the allure of comfort. The problem is that God rarely uses comfort as a means of showing His face to a broken world. I have developed a hunger to conquer my seasons rather than survive them. When we look at the ministry
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of Jesus, we see that to conquer truly means to surrender everything. Every breath, every life, every opportunity, and every gift must at some point be surrendered back to the Father. As backward as it sounds, this is the purest definition of freedom. Yes, my life personally will forever be marked by this season of loss, but what will that mark say? Will my loss become forever burned into my life as ‘the circumstance that induced heart-
"THE AMOUNT OF GROUND THAT IS CRYING OUT FOR THE GOODNESS OF GOD IS MASSIVE AND UNDENIABLE.”
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
ache' or will my loss be known as the soil in which I cultivated a garden of hope, praise, resilience, and breakthrough? Option 1 is actually completely understandable. I don't judge others for slipping into hopelessness; I just think we are missing a wonderful opportunity if that's where we stay. See, God is entrusting you with something massive. Our God is raising and sending conquerers that will car-
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ry His banner of hope into the deepest, scariest, murkiest territory the world has to offer. When we realize this, it flips the script on the enemy. What the opposing force intends to lead us into stagnancy actually fuels our calling to build His Kingdom upon broken ground. When death comes knocking at my door, rather than attempting to isolate myself in despair, I want to see a land of opportunity. I want to view all of my opposition in this way. When you truly and undeniably know your identity, you become a part of the advancement of the Kingdom of God rather than a spectator. You become a journalist rather than a reader. You become an instrument rather than a listener. Jesus says we are to do GREATER THINGS. What broken territory are you being called to revive in the world? Is it miscarriage? Is it addiction? Is it separation? Is it depression or anxiety? The amount of ground that is crying out for the goodness of God is massive and undeniable. My challenge and His commission to all of us is to press in to the true nature of God so that we may carry that burning flame into broken land. May your loss not be forever remembered as the initiator of pain but be known as the grave you planted a garden on top of. May your fear not be the force that keeps you locked up in the darkness, but may it be the catalyst for revival. Listen to Isaiah 40: 3-5—" A voice of one calling: In the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised
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up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together." Every time I read this passage, I am moved by the order of the process. "And the glory of the Lord will be revealed" comes after the voice in the wilderness declares His goodness. This changes everything. Your wilderness is not the end of your story. Your wilderness is merely a chapter in your calling. It is ground that our great, merciful, wonderful and lovesick Father wants His name to reach.
He has chosen you for this sacred task. Mourn, hurt and feel the weight of loss, but please do not stay defeated in brokenness forever. The world needs your testimony of revival. It needs your stories of tragedy infused with the presence and nearness of the gospel of Jesus. He has not removed His hand from you. You are a conquerer feeling the friction of a territory that He wants you to speak into. Raise the valleys, lower the mountains, make the rugged places flat and the glory of God will be revealed through your story.
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FINAL THOUGHTS Beauty is everywhere, especially in brokenness, because our God is ever-present. He sees; He cares; He knows all. He’s waiting for us to let Him in to every space so He can continue to do His best work. Just like Brett is passionate to live this out, we are called to rise up out of the dry and dead places. In our submission and surrender, we can be guaranteed—no matter how broken our own world may be—to find beauty. The best is yet to come.
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VOICES + ART
Artist Highlight
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ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
ARTIST HIGHLIGHT Shane Grammer, Los Angeles Processing the Paradise Fires www.shanegrammer.com
@shanegrammerarts | shanegrammer.com
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Shane Grammer Featured In:
The Artist of Hope Shane Grammer is an artist/muralist based in Los Angeles, California. He was raised in nearby Chico and after the Paradise fire, the art created from these installations were his way of processing the loss. What you're seeing here is a short highlight on his work, but in the next issue we'll be telling his full story and featuring the photos of his work created during those times. It takes a very special person to create art in tribute to a person or cause knowing that eventually that art will be gone, but remarkable work is accomplished and lives on in the hearts of those it touches. Such is Shane Grammer's art in Paradise, painted on cars and chimneys and walls all torn down. Shane Grammer, in our world, is a rock star—a risk-taker. He's going where God is telling him to go and bringing light to some hard, broken places, even when people question his motives. However, what's underneath it all—and for sure his driving force is his mission to pursue projects that elicit hope from devastation. He says, "The beautiful canvas comes when using art to rebuild what has been broken. There is no better description for my life’s work, but 'hope.'" Shane has been featured in The New York Times, LA Times, CNN, My Modern Times to name a few. For good reason, people are really experiencing hope. He tells us, "When the first mural on Clark Road moved so many people in this community emotionally I knew I had to come back." That first mural went viral and turned into more tributes to people who lost their lives. Shane isn't afraid to take on the destructive issues in our society and we believe his art is not only deeply moving, but makes you think about issues in life in a more profound way. His art seems to speak and cause people to hope, to love, to think and to take action. He is a mover and shaker, shaking things up, and his purpose-filled art is sparking up a new movement. This particular art mission we're featuring was really close to home, literally, because Shane was raised in Chico, Caifornia and had many friends who lost their homes. He even helped build some of these homes when he worked construction as a teenager. All is good—his art is making it's way into new places that we know will breathe hope and bring beauty from ashes. Keep up the good work—being inspired by the Good Father. He's leading your footsteps, spray paint can and brush—painting a masterpiece across the globe. Shane, you're quite an inspiration to the creative risk-takers! Bravo!
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ARTIST HIGHLIGHT Shane Grammer, Los Angeles Processing the Paradise Fires shanegrammer.com
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
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ARTIST HIGHLIGHT Shane Grammer, Los Angeles Processing the Paradise Fires shanegrammer.com
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FINDIN "what i found was, in serving, I was finding myself. but i was [also] meeting christ while i was serving."
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
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BY NISSI GUIAO
o vements start with people, people with great passion fueled by their stories. It’s not just by happenstance that La Mission Por Vida came about. William Mendoza, founder of this incredible non-profit (and owner of Shelf in Sacramento, California), walked miles in the wrong direction, so-to-speak, before he came to realize what he was born to do. His personal testimony of finding life in Christ is what birthed “The Mission for Life.” It all began in the mission district of San Francisco, California, where William was raised by “a large Irish and Latino family.” Surrounded by
M
. .anybody. I just told my mom, like, ‘I’m leavin’. . .I went to Los Angeles by myself, at 17. Moved there and then started my life there.” Unfortunately, it didn’t do him any good as he “started finding friends and hanging out with [the wrong crowd].” “I was trying to fit in and be cool, be noticed, be recognized, be accepted into a community that I thought was cool. I ended up saying I would use drugs just to fit in, just to try it out,” William shares. “Little did I know the drug I [consumed] was about to consume me for the next 17 years. Crystal methamphetamine.” Once he took the plunge, there was no turning back at that point. At least not easily, as he tells
UNEXPECTED ENCOUNTER One day out of the clear blue God chose to intervene. “While I was 33,” William says, “God spoke to me. . .and stopped me. It wasn’t even a whisper. It was just a loud voice that came over me and sent me right to my knees…I started crying. And everything went pretty crazy from that point forward. But God spoke to me for (I don’t know) about an hour and a half. I [walked] around Los Angeles. I was on Washington Boulevard—I kept walking around this big block. . .and I had just done my dirt [when] I felt like God was like, ‘Alright, follow Me…’ And I just started walking. . .” William’s instinct to follow without question is re-
Ng myself “tons of cousins and aunts and uncles, but most of the men in [his] life were either in prison, on drugs or selling drugs,” he says, and “the women were kind of [the] backbone. . .protecting [their] family.” Growing up in an environment with no healthy examples of what it is to be a respectful man, he didn’t have much of a choice but to go down the only road he knew. William grew up pretty quickly and decided to move away without notice as soon as he graduated high school. He says, “I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t tell my girlfriend. I didn’t tell.
us, “Hours later I knew I was addicted.” It didn’t take long for William to get swallowed up within the drug scene— one he swore he’d never fall into, saying things like “I’ll never be like them in my entire life” throughout his childhood seeing too many family members surrendered to substances. The lack of structure and support in his life left him susceptible to the wrong lifestyle. He spent over a decade planted in the wrong kind of community before he had an open door to real freedom.
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markable, with him not having a single grid for the glorious encounter he had on that heavily-favored day in LA. It says a lot about his heart. It just happened to be buried under the facade of who he thought he needed to be. After hearing God’s voice, the sheriffs showed up to arrest William. He recalls, “I was just walking peacefully (I thought) and they threw me on their car, emptied my pockets and pulled out drugs and everything else. [In that moment] I just heard God saying ‘Don’t worry, I’m with you.’” As comforting as that should’ve been for him,
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he just thought “Oh my gosh, I’m going to be homeless in the streets the rest of my life.” Cuffed in the back of the car, he said he threw his head back and thought “I’m going to jail for a long time…”
A WAY OUT In response to his valid worries, however, William remembers God answering, “You’re not going to jail.” Still, he couldn’t avoid the thought of homelessness, “thinking that [he was] hearing God.” The unsolicited conversation with God (that he struggled to grasp) continued. William states that God told him “I never lied.” That spurred more crazy feelings, making him think “Okay, I’m tripping out right now.” But he wasn’t tripping out. He heard God loud and clear and it wasn’t all a bluff. William, someway, somehow, got off the hook. The sheriff told him “We could arrest you for 3 counts right now—you could be going prison right now…get out of here…I never want to see you back here again!” God miraculously made a way. He followed through, but He wasn’t finished (He never is). William talks about how God gave him a sign. And it was enough to send him on his way up to Sacramento.
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
TURNING POINT There, church became William’s norm for about six months while he became sober, but he mentions that he fell right back into drugs. About four years later is when the winds of change blew in again. After an incident in Roseville one day where he fought two men and pulled a knife on them, he woke up in jail dismayed by the thought that he may or may not have killed two people. “It took like two minutes to even process… ‘I’m going to be in jail for the rest of my life. How did I get here? I have a good heart, a good family…how did I end up here?’” he thought. This bout of internal questioning led William to pray a meaningful prayer. “Please Lord,” he said, “I accept You into my heart, Jesus. I will accept You into my heart…I’ll do whatever I can. I’m sorry! I don’t know how I got here.” After that, he says, “I started fighting a case to stay out of jail. I got a lawyer, fighting my way to stay out. . .it was a process.” But all throughout, he tells about how he started to see other supernatural signs. And pleading for his freedom he said, “God, You could send me to the belly of the beast. Whatever You want to do, send me. It doesn’t matter now.”
THE MISSION God could tell William was really for Him, so He began to put El Salvador on his heart. It
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was so interesting, “I’m fighting to stay out of prison and I’m fighting to go in prison at the same time” William powerfully states, recalling those memorable days. God, as He does, gave him supernatural signs that helped him to move forward. There came a time where he said, “Okay, Lord, send me. Let’s do this!” He “started putting a plan together to work with the gangs in El Salvador.” At the time “the murder rate was 54 a day,” he states. Using his own resources, William found a way “to give access to clean water inside all the prisons, and into the communities where they put a truce.” They were confused at first, wondering why he was there and what he wanted. And when some of the leaders told him they weren’t expecting someone like him to help out, he responded with hopeful statements like “There’s no reason not to. It’s not me; it’s the Lord just guiding me here, so I’m honored to be here.” Per William, the murder rate went all the way down to about zero or one. All of this was possible through the trust that was built through the help that he was a big part of. He understands the importance of connection
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"i was hiding behind this false identity of what the world said i should be, but i always had a loving heart." as he states, “We've got to establish relationships so that we can bring hope and really truly show them the healing power of Christ. Through my story, too…I was able to speak in these prisons and talk about my addiction, where I come from—my family.” From a God-dream birthed in the midst of his own struggle, “that’s how La Mission Por Vida started,” William humbly shares. And he says, “From that point forward, we started partnering with Compassion International, working on projects with them, implementing water projects. (I mean, we worked for a few years before we got to that point.) We worked in other countries— Cambodia, Shri Lanka, Mexico, Honduras, Guatemala, Kenya and other places. What I found was, in serving, I was finding myself. But I was [also] meeting Christ while I was serving. Doing an act of service, I was meeting Christ and not expecting anything. I used to think life was about me, but when I realized it was not—it was about others, and serving—that’s when I really found out who I really was. I was hiding behind this false image of my identity of what the world said I should be, but I always had a loving heart. It wasn’t
looked upon [positively] to have a loving heart, you know, around the crowds I was hanging out with [back in LA]. Once I lost everybody I was hanging out with and I started letting God re-build me, He [built] me up in His Word. I joined Bible studies. I think I attended like four at a time, four a week. You know, going to church and serving…I was spending more time in the non-profit instead of my for-profit, because I just love serving people.
I was like, ‘Man, I had it all wrong…’ I was programmed this way, but God was re-programming me in the truth. My identity [became] what He told me [about] who I am, not what others told me I am, what I can do, what I’m capable of, just whatever…It didn’t matter what I had, it mattered Who I had. God, right? It doesn’t matter who
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you are; it’s Whose you are. He started really taking off all the lies and agreements I’d made when I was a younger child. . .” William is passionate about “allowing [God] to be a part of [his endeavors], instead of trying to do it on [his] own.” When opportunities arise, he does his best to stay connected to God’s heart. He’ll pray out, “What are the needs in this country? Lord, where do you want to send us next? Guide us. . .put us in contact with the right people and show us where you want us to serve, who you want us to serve, and how to get there, how to pay for it—all this stuff.” It’s truly a miracle how God sought out William’s heart when he was strung out on the streets of LA. His testimony is such a declaration of the statement we wear on our shirts: Anything Can Happen. It’s another prime example that “He won’t relent until He has it all” (Jesus Culture Band), and it’s inspiring to see the way He’s been moving in William’s life over the years. As he keeps a servant heart, there’s really no telling the corners of the earth God will reach through him and La Mission Por Vida. www.LaMissionPorVida.org
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FAV’S
HOLY SPIRIT WANTS US TO DEPEND ON HIM LIKE NEVER BEFORE. ONLY HE CAN TAKE US TO THAT PASSIONATE PLACE WHERE OUR EYES WIDEN AND OUR LIVES EXPAND FOR MORE.
GET YOUR PASSION BACK + By Nissi Guiao
hen God moves, there’s no denying the power of His relentless love. To be saturated in His presence creates a desperate hunger for change, beautifully developing a thirst for more—of Him. There’s just something about tasting and seeing how dramatically good God is up close and personal. The closer we get to His heart, the better we understand that He really is no respecter of person, “for God sees us all without partiality”
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ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
(Romans 2:11 TPT). It doesn’t matter the color of our skin, or even the measure of our latest and greatest sin. Also equally important, He doesn’t hold back His goodness pending what age bracket we currently find ourselves in. This year, God gave me my passion back (not just any old, ordinary passion either). He awakened my spirit, my soul, for the youth of our nations once again. He revealed to me what was already embedded in my
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heart—a proper desire to pour into this next generation. To be honest, for a couple years I subconsciously felt like I had no permission to even think about jumping back into youth ministry. I’m not positive why this was the case, but I share it to pose this question. “What lies are we believing that hold us back from doing our part in blessing the next generations?” (Because they need us, and we all have a part to play.) The more I press into the undeni-
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able call to nurture young hearts, the more alive I become. It’s not about me, but I am quickly learning I can’t use that as an excuse to stand idly by on the comfortable sidelines anymore. Neither can you. When I stood (timid) in a room full of 200 youth and young adults (at this year’s summer camp through my home church), I found myself clearly questioning my purpose of getting to be there. The intimidation I felt almost robbed me from experiencing the powerful encounters happening all around, but God heard my silent confusion and graciously hit me with truth. As I looked around the room at all the young people worshipping, it was like something just clicked all of a sudden. I felt God highlight my life of surrender. And it was like He was telling me that this is the generation I’m to pour into… that I do have something to give—so much to offer. Often times, I overlook these truths. It’s easy to get swept up in the “doing” that I forget who I am, Whose I am. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of things that I can fail to connect the dots. When I understand the value in
“WE NEED A RESET. WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT YOUNG, PASSIONATE LOVE THAT'S THE VERY FOUNDATION FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS.”
my personal walk with Jesus, however, that’s when I realize my life (with Him) is the most valuable thing I have to offer.
UNITY If you’re living and breathing and you love and live for Jesus, you too have something so valuable to offer. That only you can offer, to the generation that follows you. But it goes both ways. God intended for all of us to come together, to grow alongside and learn from each other. Young people are already passionate about authenticity. They’re drawn to and target what’s real; and they pretty much repel anything fake (aka religion). They’re already healthily hungry to see God move, even if they refuse to admit it sometimes. They’re learning much earlier on to not care about what other people think, to embrace discomfort and to follow Jesus no matter what. What they have to offer—this wildfire passion—is just as valuable for us as what we have to offer to them. Young passion and drive is the precise jolt of life we need back in the church. So many of us have forgotten the decadent, bold and rich yet perfectly subtle and sweet, (unlike anything else) balanced flavor of God’s goodness. Not intentionally, but we’ve unfortunately let ourselves get entangled with the cares of this world that we’ve become a bit limp and deflated. Our mouths sing praises and our prayers go up, but our hearts haven’t been fully connected with the Father on the level He intended. We need a reset. We need to remember that young, passionate love that’s the very foundation for our relationship with Jesus. Because when we remember, we’re empowered to live out that attractive, abundant life He paid so much for. From that place of freedom, we gain the invaluable wisdom to lead. When we step up
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and do our part, we lay the solid ground young people need in order to follow in our footsteps. When we own up and pursue maturing in our own faith, we gain the gold that we’re called to invest into the youth. This is our call to radically wake up and link up, no more gaps between generations. No more holes in our thinking. We need each other to be able to rise up in the powerful and unstoppable way that God’s been patiently waiting for us to.
THE FUTURE I SEE The future I see is unstoppable. Awakened lives awaken lives. And as we grow and get to that sweet spot of refusing to disconnect from the Father’s heart, we’ll become His power source throughout the world. Like portable chargers, we’ll carry His presence everywhere we go. The young and the old and everyone in between will surge with electric love that ignites passion that was once lost. Like the best WiFi, the connection amongst all generations will significantly speed up the way the Good News is shared in every city. Consider this: the domino effect only takes one to start it. Passion begets passion. What’s stirring within you? What makes you come alive? What is that thing you love that you can’t not do? We were born with our passion already laced within us. Even if we don’t figure it out right away, we can start with where we’re legitimately called—to lead and love on the next generations. Whether it be through prayer, mentorship, serving in our church’s youth/kid's ministry, teaching—whatever it may be—it’s our job to pour into young lives and help to raise them up in the way they should go. No need to wait another moment, a stunning and powerful future is beckoning. It’s prime time to let love take over (and shed every last layer of religion) so we can lead well as we rightfully get our passion back.
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Missing the Miraculous within the Mundane
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
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BY JEFF WITTMER
ave you realized how our lives unfold within moments of time? If we’re not careful, our future will simply be an extension of our past. There is a natural domino effect from the moments behind us to the moments in front of us. We will pass through without much notice if it were not for the disruptive moments, the moments when we must choose between extending our past and creating our future. We call these defining moments. These are moments that change us. Many moments go unrecognized for the miraculous contained within it because it's shrouded within the mundane, but their secret comes to us years later in our longing to relive them. The older I become, the more obsessed I become with the idea of Time Travel. There are so many other things I could be obsessing over, but why this? Maybe it’s the idea of reliving past experiences that were so glorious I wished they never ended or perhaps diverting an asinine mistake that, in hindsight, could have been prevented. The TV show, Timeless tells the story of a mysterious criminal who steals a secret state-of-theart time machine, intent on destroying America, as we know it, by changing the past. The only hope is an unexpected and mismatched team, who must use the machine's prototype to travel back in time to critical events. While they must make every effort not to affect the past them-
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selves, they must also stay one step ahead of this dangerous fugitive. This is a very cool concept, but in spite of scientist’s best efforts, nothing has worked so far in transporting humans back into time. Man’s search of Wormholes, Black Holes, Infinite Cylinders, and Cosmic Strings have so far failed to provide the necessary portal to visit ancestral homelands. Time, according to Einstein, is an illusion. It is relative—it can vary for different observers depending on your speed through space. To Einstein, time is the "fourth dimension." Space is described as a three-dimensional arena, which provides a traveler with coordinates—such as length, width, and height—showing location. Time provides another coordinate—direction—although conventionally, it only moves forward. I do see we are Time Travelers of sorts, moving through moments of time as natural as breathing. Like Einstein, we agree we cannot travel backward, we can only travel forward one moment at a time. In the words of futurist Erwin McManus, “We are all time voyagers leaving history in our wake, pioneering into the future.” We cannot change the past, but we can begin today to change the future. The Bible reveals that time is a construct by God relative to Creation in order to measure seasons and purpose. “To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Eccl 3:1 KJV). Time, as a creation of God, is a temporary interruption in eternity. God, Who is eternal, therefore exists outside of time yet He chooses to work with humans who are within time. Because God is outside time, He can operate within time, all of the time at the same time, the way a pianist is
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above the keyboard yet can touch all the keys. This may blow your mind but God does not pass with time. It’s always now with Him. He is just as present at the hour of your birth as He is present at the hour of your death. (Get ready for it...) He is already in your future! So, what does this mean for us? Is it possible for the unseen Kingdom of Heaven to touch our natural world every day even though it’s outside our awareness? Could we be deaf to the whispers of God concerning our future and miss the miraculous in the breaking-in of God’s realm because it’s shrouded within the mundane moments of our lives? What if you knew a moment was coming that would change your life forever, a moment rich with potential, a moment filled with endless possibilities? What if you knew there was a moment coming where God will meet you in such a way that nothing would be the same again? How would you treat that moment? However mundane a moment may appear, the miraculous may wait to be unwrapped within it. When a moment is missed, you have glanced at an opportunity lost. My mother would often admonish me to pause in my busy moments to “smell the roses.” She knew the petals of the rose, like a moment missed, will soon fall to the ground. The problem is when our schedules get packed with the mundane and the ordinary, we may even become irritated with God when He interrupts us with the miraculous and the extraordinary. We don't see our divine moments because we're so distracted by the clutter, or perhaps, we are stuck in a moment gone past. Within those passing moments, a handful will become defining moments in your life. When you
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dream, you look to a moment still to come. Yet the only moment that you must take responsibility for right now is the one in front of you. You may have heard, there is power in the present moment. Your challenge is not seizing divine moments, but seizing your divine-moment. If a moment is the gate through which your divine journey begins, choice is the key that unlocks the future. If we're going to unlock every moment for all its historical, personal, and kingdom value, we must pay attention to the choices we make within it. As Leaders and Citizens in Kingdom enterprises, it is imperative that we learn to think in alignment with the “Unseen” Kingdom we represent. When you allow your mind to be shaped with the dynamic processes of faith, hope, and love, your mindset becomes ever-expanding and we become more present to our Divine Moments. According to Romans 8:28, for lovers of God, our life is rigged by divine favor. Paul the Apostle was absolutely “convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose” (Romans 8:28 TPT). But do we really see the Kingdom abundance and activity that daily surrounds us? Do we often miss the miraculous because it's shrouded within the mundane? Studies show that the human nervous system is hardwired to be more sensitive to negative cycles of impending danger than to positive signals of burgeoning opportunity. In today's media-saturated world, we are constantly reminded of the potential negative side of virtually ev-
erything around us. Is it any wonder so many feel depressed, overwhelmed and hopeless in today's world? Did you know the average human thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day/50 thoughts a minute/2,900 per hour. And studies show that over 80% of our thinking is skewed toward repetition and negativity? Paul, the Apostle tells us to not be conformed to the pattern of this world. He is actually confronting our mindsets that create perceptual blindness to the Kingdom surrounding us. There is a pattern of thinking that is formed inside a person who does not believe in God. “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy
oped the “eyesight” to see the unseen Kingdom of Heaven Jesus spoke of. Renewing the mind begins with repentance, which is a word stemming from the Greek: me TA noi yah, which means “to think differently.” At the inauguration of His ministry, Jesus instructed His disciples to “repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Repentance isn’t just an altar call experience in church, but it’s a new way of life opened to us by a new way of thinking. People often want new, but think old. We love to envision a brighter future and we get inspired by the promises of God. We rightly love God's promises, but not often God’s processes which are attached. We want to experience new, but cling to the old way of doing things. Going to the altar is not our only response to God, it is our acknowledgment that we are painfully aware things must change. What has been significantly underappreciated about Jesus is how He changed the way His followers engaged life. He launched a movement that unleashed previously untapped potential in those who believed in Him. He awakened them to a new reality. He created an environment where His disciples began to believe for the impossible and soon found they were turning inspired dreams into reality. His became a movement of dreamers and visionaries called and compelled to create a better world. How did He do that? He modeled and taught His disciples to be present to their divine-moments. The miraculous was daily breaking through the shroud of the mundane of their world and it changed the way they viewed their reality. They knew God was working with them and “with God, all things are possible."
"AS LEADERS AND CITIZENS IN KINGDOM ENTERPRISES, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE LEARN TO THINK IN ALIGNMENT WITH THE UNSEEN KINGDOM WE REPRESENT."
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Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes” (Romans 12:2 TPT). A key to all life transformation, discernment, and open hearts and minds to the miraculous is to upgrade our spiritual intelligence to perceive Kingdom reality. Our minds must be renewed and we must be intentional with this discipline. During my seven-year “sabbatical” in Northern California, I developed a course called “Abundance-Based Thinking” where I take students on a journey to intentionally upgrade their thinking. The premise is based upon an understanding that we have not devel-
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THE
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MANIFESTO
LOVE, TRUTH AND JOY. WE ARE RISK-TAKERS AND LOVE REVOLUTIONARIES. WE SHIFT CULTURES, ATMOSPHERES AND
WE’RE MANIFESTING
NATIONS. WE WATCH, WE SEE AND WE HEAR BEYOND THE NATURAL EYE AND WE ARE PEOPLE OF LIGHT WILLING TO PIERCE DARKNESS. WE’RE SPECIAL OPS FOR JESUS CHRIST. WE SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF OUR FATHER. WE ARE WISE AND GENTLE AND KIND, BUT WE ARE ALSO EXTREMELY BRAVE. LIKE JESUS, WE HATE WHAT IS EVIL AND WE WORK DILIGENTLY AND PRAYERFULLY TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. WE ARE WARRIORS IN THE SPIRIT. WE ARE PASSIONATE BELIEVERS. WE ARE RECONCILERS, HEALERS & AND WE ARE MOVERS & SHAKERS AND WE ARE TRUTH TELLERS. WE LOVE THE WORD OF GOD AND DESPISE A RELIGIOUS SPIRIT. WE STRIVE TO LIVE WITH GREAT LOVE,
LOVERS OF GOD HIS KINGDOM.
GREAT POWER & GREAT GRACE.
WE ARE PART OF A OF CREATIVE LEADERS, ARTISTS, ACTORS, POETS, TEACHERS, POLITICIANS, MINISTERS, EVANGELISTS &
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ENTREPRENEURS CALLED TO CRUSH HELL BY SHOWING PEOPLE A GRACIOUS, LOVING & HOLY GOD. COPYRIGHT 2016 JENENE STAFFORD & MEGAMORPHOSIS MAGAZINE | WORDS BY HOLY SPIRIT REPRESENT THE END TIMES JESUS MOVEMENT CALLED THE "TRUTH TELLER REVOLUTION" REVEALED TO JENENE STAFFORD. PLEASE COPY AND SHARE WITH COPYRIGHT.
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PHOTO BY QUINN UNG
GOOD FATHER JENENE STAFFORD'S STORY OF REDEMPTION
BY NISSI GUIAO
enene Stafford, Megamorphosis Magazine’s founder, passionate risk-taker and radical lover of all, would not be here today if it wasn’t for the good Father aligning her with His heart so profoundly. Although she’s spent hours and hours working on what she wanted this article to be about, the Father just waited patiently for her to be willing to share her very own, intimate love story—the way she dances so eloquently with Him. She has her own, unique journey of brokenness to tell, with a steady theme of redemption that continuously teaches her about His character. With that, she claims she is “the poster child for how GOOD the Father really is.” Personal experience can either enhance or taint our perspective on what is good, without us even realizing it. From generation to generation, broken homes have become more common whether we like to agree with it or not. As a result, sadness and abandonment have greatly affected our thinking. Fatherlessness hits our core like nothing else. So now, when we look at our nation as a whole, it makes sense why there’s been so much discord. Bring in the good Father and that healthy alignment we’ve desperately needed, as the body of Christ, becomes inevitable. Jenene’s a great example for how far the Father will go to bring His children out of darkness and into His magnificent light.
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It is no wonder that she brings grace and love with her wherever she goes, no matter who she’s around. Her heart is often overwhelmed at the overflowing amounts of love that seem to well up within her each time she hears the stories of overcoming pain, sorrow, grief, and even sin. Truly, it’s because she’s suffered it all, and to the maximum degree. Because of Jenene’s “own journey through immense suffering—the longing for freedom and love [she] carried for nearly 30 years of her life,” she “has a willingness to carry others’ burdens,” as she “draws herself into the stories of the amazing people she meets.” Even her name in Hebrew means “God is gracious,” no coincidence there. Experiencing the good Father for herself feeds her passion to share the proper perspective of Him with the whole world. And because of her personal relationship with Him, she can’t help but to release the truth He planted within her. As the co-creator of Megamorphosis Magazine (because the good Father directs her eyes and ears over every detail), Jenene is on this brave journey to feel the pain of the lonely, the broken, the outcast, the addicted and the abused. She says that because she can see the good that comes out on the the other side of the desert, life-changing stories are written. Now, on the other side of the lowest points in her walk of life, she is trusting her own story to be told through the eyes and words of someone who’s closely witnessed how beautifully she’s moved by the GOOD Father today. Jenene lives, moves, breathes—has her being—in the Father. But it never would’ve been this way if He hadn’t chased her down to begin with. What is so moving about Jenene’s story is how God kept paving the way for her to “find Him.” Someway, somehow,
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
He gave her every reason to believe in Him even though the odds were strongly against her. He proved to her, time after time, that He’s gracious. And as we reflect on some of the lowest lows of her past, it will become increasingly evident how crazy good He is no matter what happens in life.
SETTING A FOUNDATION As bright of a beaming, positive lighthouse Jenene is for her many spiritual sons and daughters in this period of her life, “it hasn’t always been this way,” she openly exclaims. Childhood was rough for her. Her parents got divorced early on and she remembers being “a very, very lonely child.” While other kids her age were carefree, she experienced a different kind of upbringing. Still, she vividly remembers playing cars as a toddler and “Jesus being on the floor,” playing with her too. This is why she can honestly say “I knew Jesus before I knew His name.” Jenene, as a young girl, was witty. She had a personality that got along with older crowds. Many of her experiences caused her to grow up rather quickly, but she dreamt big and mapped out big goals for herself. Intelligent like her biological father, she was really passionate about education. She wanted to obtain the highest degree possible because that was the ultimate achievement in her mind. Along with her desire for greatness, Jenene had an unshakeable draw toward Jesus. She reminisces on the days where a bus drove through her block, picking up any kids who wanted to go church. She would go any chance she got. She also attended a kids Bible study a couple held in her neighborhood on Tuesdays after school. God, knowing the road ahead of her, planted truth in her right away. And the more she learned about the Bible, she began to understand the spiritual rela-
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tionship she’s had with Jesus since the very beginning of her life.
DEVASTATING DETOURS Foundational truths made a difference in Jenene’s life. Although she walked through a lot moving forward, her level of understanding is truly what’s kept her alive. By the time she was 13 1/2, she met her (now) ex-husband. With him being three years older, their connection was pretty toxic. She became obsessed (as any girl would) with this older boy who paid attention to her and swept her off her feet. Her goals took a backseat to their relationship and she unintentionally got pregnant at age 15. Devastation hit Jenene hard because she, at the time, thought she couldn’t recover from her current situation. Having to attend a school specifically for pregnant teens, she thought her life was over. Her big dreams and goals of becoming an academic blew up right before her eyes as the next cards she was dealt were far from a good hand. Her mother, upon finding out about her pregnancy, said “so you think you’re a grown up so go and be a grown up” and she was out. From that point on, she says that it was one crazy thing after the next. Moving forward, Jenene tried to make it work. She had two more children and eventually married their father. Unfortunately, he fell back into drugs immediately and that’s when “everything escalated.” Their marriage lasted a short year, but to her, it must’ve felt like a lifetime.
SURVIVING ABUSE Jenene recalls “being so abused physically, emotionally, mentally—every way—verbally…” Because of the violence at home, she lived “terrified.” It ultimately became too much for her to carry. “I had no more capacity to toler-
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ate the abuse,” she says. She “couldn’t do it anymore,” so she decided to try to make the madness stop the only way she knew to back then. At the absolute lowest of lows in her life, Jenene locked herself in the bathroom and “had every intention of committing suicide.” She broke open a razor, grabbed the blade and started cutting her wrist multiple times. This, she thought, would be the end of her. Laying, bleeding out in the bathtub, fully expecting to breathe her last breath, God saved her right on time. He rescued her by speaking to her heart, “Don’t you think I created you for something more than to be someone’s punching bag?” Despite the craziness of the scene (Jenene laying in a pool of her own blood while her ex steadily laughed at her, just so completely far gone), she states “There was hope because I heard God speak.” He also allowed her to see the true evil she was dealing with. How incredibly powerful, to say the least. In complete helplessness and being so battered and broken, the GOOD Father made Himself known. By showing up and speaking to her, Jenene knew in her heart “He’s going to save me.” His mere presence and moving words breathed life into her. In that moment, she rose with purpose, as she says “There was a knowing inside of me. . .I just couldn’t give up.” From there, He gifted her “the ability to begin to figure out how” she was going to “get out of that relationship alive.” Before Jenene found the courage to bring her parents in on the situation, first she had to take care of her
immediate wounds. The day she cut herself, she avoided going to the doctor (mostly because she wouldn’t have been allowed to go). She had to keep her wrist wrapped for a while. It was a couple months of planning and coming up with a strategy to escape. Finally, she told her parents and siblings what was going on, which significantly helped her to get out alive. It was “24 hours a day for months” she says that either her dad, stepdad or one of her brothers chaperoned her. Even with a
for help with her business in the Yellow Pages, she came across “Advanced Business Consultants,” which led her to meet Gary about 6 months later. She remembers that day like it was yesterday. “There was a very good-looking man wearing sunglasses dressed like a million bucks and had the most incredible voice (that I still love so much to this day) in the parking lot, pulling things out of his trunk. I said, ‘Excuse me, sir, I’m looking for Gary Henson.’ [When he responded] I knew in that moment—I saw it—that he would be my husband.” It would be a long, twisty roller coaster ride before Jenene would say “I do” and become a wife again. During that time, it was a rocky road to redemption. First, Gary became her coach, really helping her through the different ups and downs she faced in her business. They got to know each other as he’d walk her through various situations she faced. Still raw from the violence she’d escaped, he was able to help her process things in a healthy way by introducing her to “Lifespring” trainings. Between God telling Jenene she had a purpose and doing “some really deep work [with] cognitive therapy, learning to have control of [her] own thinking and [her] own mind to re-train [her] brain, she found herself on the track to success—real freedom, rather. “The fear [was] so intense,” she remembers. So, meeting Gary really made a difference in her life. “He helped me so much because I almost
god saved her right on time. he rescued her by speaking to her heart, “don't you think i've created you for something more than to be someone else's punching bag?"
restraining order, she feared for her life and could not be left alone. Over the course of a challenging 6-month period, God made a way where there really seemed to be no way.
A NEW CHAPTER IN LIFE “And that’s when I met Gary (Henson), Jenene’s loving husband,” she shares proudly. “Thank You Jesus,” she excitedly shares in joy as she processes that time in her life when things started to look “up” for her. She already had her own business by then. Upon a search
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went back a couple times,” she says, thinking about how terrified she felt every day for almost 2 years. The consistent connection between Jenene and Gary sparked something more than their normal coaching relationship. Since Gary (besides the good Father) became her hero, she essentially fell, head over heels, wildly in love with him. They became good friends and ultimately ended up best friends. She even shares, “We made a pact with each other to stay best friends” no matter who came into their lives or who they were dating. Over the course of 8 years, they went from a professional, coaching relationship to much more than that. Jenene talks about how they both got baptized on the same day and they got serious about their relationship with God. Not long after, a conviction began to stir in their hearts to do the right thing. Gary tried to break off the romantic relationship (once again) so they could live with purity. He pushed away the idea of marrying her because of their 19year age gap. But Jenene saw the future—that they would be married—and she knew Gary couldn’t end the relationship. After a lengthy argument and Jenene’s refusal to accept breaking up, Gary threw in the towel and said, “The only other thing to do is to get married.” Jenene then said, “That I can accept” and six weeks later they were married. Marriage, however, was absolutely no “walk in the park” for newlyweds Jenene and Gary. Her kids and his kids were in for their own set of trials that would take years to see healing. Learning each other to greater degrees ruf-
fled everyones feathers, and Jenene tells that she and Gary had to go to counseling; they even “separated 2-3 different times.” Both families, made up of 5 daughters between them, had so much to overcome. She wasn’t prepared for the mess of their baggage clashing, but to this day, she is thankful they never officially quit on each other.
THE STRUGGLE W/DEPRESSION Unfortunately, Jenene’s past abuse began to catch up with her. Having gone through inexplicable bouts of intense suffering throughout her first
says. Ultimately the doctors diagnosed her with a “severe panic disorder.” Recalling those darker days, Jenene talks about not being able to sleep due to electric shocks that would shoot through her body every time she would fall asleep, not being able to walk or to even move her head. She says “All I could do during the day, when Gary wasn’t home to take care of me, was sit in front of the TV.” As long as she stayed still, she could watch whatever came on. One day, she remembers “Joyce Meyer showed up on the screen.” This was another way God was specifically moving on her behalf. Even though at first Jenene didn’t know if she liked Joyce’s tough personality, she found out about Joyce’s own childhood of abuse and her story gave her hope. It was a long decade (at least) of struggling in and out of depression and years of insomnia and sleeping pills. She dealt with it so much that it got to the point where they wanted to put her “on all kinds of anti-depressants.” For some, God can use meds as the answer. But for Jenene, she says “There was something in me, for years, where I would literally take the anti-depressants for one day and something in me would say ‘This is not the answer.’ Now, I realize it was the Holy Spirit saying ‘Just keep coming back to me.’” She sincerely knew she needed help, and looking back, she knows there was something in her that “fought against that whole idea that God wasn’t able to heal [her completely].”
“there was something in me, for years, where i would literally take the anti-depressants for one day and something in me would say 'This is not the answer.'"
marriage/relationship, the suppressed trauma got the best of her and she ended up having an attack at a movie theatre during a final, violent abuse scene. When she got up to leave the theatre, she couldn’t find up or down and, in a split second, her life took an unexpected turn for the worst. That single moment of fear and rage unearthed her traumatic history and led to four and a half months of “seeing neurologists and psychiatrists” she
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THE OTHER SIDE
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Fed up (and rightfully so) of all the trauma, Jenene settled in her heart “I need to see the light. I need to see the other side.” Exhausted in every way from battling darkness and intense spiritual warfare even as a child, she mustered up the will-power to openly ask the Lord, “Can You please help me with this? I need to see the other side.” Over time, she began to study the Old Testament and learned intimacy with the Father. This is the monumental time frame where she feels that God “thwarted [her] forward in the Kingdom.” She fell in love with the Bible and her spiritual gifts started to explode. One day as she curled her hair, she had an unforgettable encounter with Lucifer himself. Very clearly, she says that he announced and introduced himself to her. Jenene shares, “He was very charismatic, sounded very European. Sounds like something out of a movie I know, but very clearly he said ‘Hello, I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Lucifer, and I want to let you know that if you continue to share Jesus with the world, I’m going to kill you.’ My response to him [was] ’Well, Lucifer, you do what you’ve got to do and I’ll do what I’ve got to do, but we both know you have no power and no authority to kill me.’ And that was it.” Jenene wasn’t afraid. She didn’t cower because she “had absolutely no fear.” She boldly declares, “We know the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, but he doesn’t accomplish that with somebody who knows that they have authority. We know what his intentions are, but they’re only intentions until we allow something different—’til we open the doorway or we come into agreement with/buy into the lies.” After that day, there was another encounter that marked Jenene’s life. In the middle of the afternoon, mind-
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ing her own business in the shower, she felt a spirit literally rub up against her. “I don’t know how to describe it in words, really, but there was a rage—a spiritual rage—that came out of me,” she tells. “And it was the Father…I heard, with my spiritual gift, the Father and Lucifer [sort of] battling… having this conversation. It was very short because basically the Father said to him ‘You will never touch my daughter again, ever!’” Jenene heard that loud and clear; with it, she “felt the emotion of the Father” towards her. It was an intimate sign of His love for her, His protection over her. He was letting her know “I’m Your Daddy and I’ve got your back!” She shares, “Sometimes God shows up in the strangest of times, but there’s no denying His power.” In the midst of unreasonable chaos, “there’s no denying that the Father gives the ability to hope.” And “that’s what [God] did for me in all these different instances,” Jenene states. By many miracles, Jenene had a heart to press in (with the hope the Father gave her) regardless of the depression, insomnia and trauma she suffered with. "God stayed close to me, even when I ignored Him and wasn’t living anywhere near the way I should’ve been." She interestingly shares, “ Still I always knew I was a daughter of the King.” Knowing her identity in Him must’ve played a significant role in how she was able to weather all these treacherous storms. In times when she absolutely needed it, God first started showing her her “own future, before He ever started showing [her] anyone else’s.” There is no other reason for her freedom today. God surely didn’t cause anything terrible in her life, but He’s faithfully turned it all around for her good. Today, Jenene is completely and miraculously healed of everything because of
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her relentless pursuit of her purpose in life—the purpose God spoke of on that dark day she tried to take her life. Still, she won’t relent in pursuing His truth, His goodness and His healing, not just for herself, but for every human on the planet. Confidently, Jenene states “I recognize that everything we’ve gone through, we have a choice to see ‘was it for good or evil?’ And everything can be turned for good.” Eternally grateful for the way God moves in and through her, Jenene emotionally utters, “He’s everything to me. He’s absolutely the breath in my lungs. I feel like I am a trumpet, literally, for proving to the world that the Father is so good. That He absolutely—madly, passionately—loves humanity, His creation…We were born to be related to Him and to know Him. There’s just nothing better than that.” The Father loves His children beyond our capacity to fully comprehend. Although confusion likes to set in, the truth is, He’ll pursue us to the depths of wherever we may land and He will make a way for us. No longer suffering what felt like hell, she lives to tell that He is good. Jenene states, “[The Father] let me know that there was hope—that He had seen me. And He let me know that He had a purpose for me that was beyond that of being abused.” Indeed, her purpose is directly connected to her greatest struggles—may her story seed hope into everyone who sees it.
GIVING BACK As we know, many still have yet to experience the goodness of the Father. Through stories of hope like Jenene’s, the future is bright. According to Revelation, we overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony. This is one of the top reasons she does what she does with the
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whole Megamorphosis movement. In embracing her own story, she’s found pure joy in finding the good Father in any story she comes across. Her whole life is dedicated to shining His bright light in a world that is sadly dimmed. “Pretty amazing the journey I’ve lived through,” Jenene shares. “I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And yet, it made me who I am and now—I can help so many people. This is why I always say ‘I wouldn’t change it.’ I wouldn’t change it because I couldn’t be me and I couldn’t live my purpose and I wouldn’t have my testimony.” Coming from someone who has truly experienced some of the greater, unsolicited depths of darkness, Jenene’s testimony bears much power. Because she knows what it’s like, since she herself has suffered so much, she and Gary even started a non-profit years ago, dedicated to victims of domestic violence that they managed for a couple years. She took the time to learn all about victim and batterer mentalities and has done what she can to give back. No matter the hardship, He’s been teaching Jenene to see the good, which significantly influences her calling today. It’s quite the workout, finding the gold buried deep within the dirt and hard places. But in personally experiencing God seeing and pulling the gold out of her despite her own struggles, she can now do the same for others. In fact, it’s one of her greatest gifts and passions in life because she sees with the Father’s eyes. Just like He saw her
all those times (when she felt stuck), she sees the gold in every person she comes into contact with. And she has the anointed ability to help others get un-stuck by spiritually coaching so many as the loving, caring spiritual “Mama J” she is known to be.
AN OBSERVATION
“pretty amazing, the journey i've lived through. i wouldn't wish it on anyone. and yet, i wouldn't change it because i couldn'tbe me and i couldn't live my purpose and i wouldn't have my testimony.
Personally witnessing Jenene’s way of life has impacted me in more ways than I’m sure I realize. It’s not everyday you come across a believer who follows the leading of the Holy Spirit as strictly as I’ve seen her live out. For every little thing all the way to every big thing, she will not move forward unless she has His approval. To the best of her ability, she stays close to Him so she can freely live and move to the beat of His drum, and His drum
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only. It’s incredible; it’s wildly moving to simply catch wind of the beautiful sound their dancing together creates. It’s been quite the honor getting to have a front-row seat to the everyday life of one of the groundbreaking spiritual mothers this generation’s been waiting for. The fire in Jenene is a result of her personal relationship with the GOOD Father, with Jesus and with Holy Spirit. She only “preaches” what she lives; and she lives what she believes in. That is the inspiration more of the world needs to see. That alone could spark the change the world needs. I have her beautiful conviction and surrender to thank (other than the Father Himself, of course) for the honor and privilege of even getting to write this article here and now. Her obedience is raw and real and that alone moves mountains in the Kingdom. Jenene has such a call on her life to lead the next generation and to help teach others how to abandon religion and chase Jesus. Her one goal now, after nearly 40 years of wrestling with things that no longer hold her back, is to stay connected to the Father’s heart. If she can’t hear it beating, she knows she’s not really living. Stay tuned, she will continue to rock the world one obedient step after the next as she leads the charge in shaking up the status quo, sharing real, radical love and always expecting miracles. Thank you for your "yes!"
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PHOTOS BY SIPHEPHILE SIBANYONI
Poignant, precious, profound: Legacy Collection offers handmade pieces that are a striking token of justice, equality, forgiveness and freedom. Hand-crafted and encased in precious metal, every Legacy Collection piece – from dazzling jewellery to iconic art – is created from the original fence of South Africa’s Robben Island prison, the notorious Cape Town Island prison that housed freedom fighters including Nelson Mandela, Ahmed Kathrada, Walter Sisulu and many more during South Africa’s oppressive apartheid years.
Wear a piece of history. LEGACYCOLLECTION.CO.ZA
AN UPDATE ON LEGACY COLLECTION & CHARMAINE TAYLOR harmaine Taylor of Legacy Collection is best known for her work done with the historical prison fencing from Robben Island—where Nelson Mandela and other struggle heroes were kept captive. Charmaine’s main aim is to create environmental and human rights awareness around the world through the up-cycling of the prison fence. Through her Collection she always shares her Christian journey and it’s obvious where she draws her vision and inspiration. It’s reflected in the titles; Grace, peace, rights, justice and mercy. This journey of Nelson Mandela being a world icon of forgiveness and Nobel Peace Prize winner also lines up with Charmaine’s vision of Legacy Collection, being a range to be worn with intention. Each piece is named in honour of a peaceful road of forgiveness, freedom and also the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus too, by his blood on the
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cross, now gives us the freedom and grace to have a relationship with Him. Charmaine had a major highlight of her career in September 2018 where she exhibited the Nobel Peace Center. And it was a fully sponsored trip, which made the journey even more miraculous. She took a life size cut out of Nelson Mandela’s prison cell cut to spec, out of the original fence that once held him captive. Titled “The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword” created by Chris Swift—Charmaine’s jewelery is also stocked at the Nobel Peace Center’s beautiful store. This was a highlight on Charmaine’s journey as she stood outside the highest honour of human rights bestowed to Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela is still teaching Charmaine through his journey about grace and forgiveness. Charmaine learned that Nelson Mandela refused the Nobel Peace Prize the first time, as he has to share it with his enemy, FW de Klerk, who let him out of prison with no questions or obligations, he just let
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Mandela walk free. Legacy Collection is based in Cape Town, South Africa where Robben Island is. Charmaine has now created a gallery space focusing on a story telling venue. This is where people who were ex-political prisoners, ex-prison guards and also future heroes of Africa come and speak and encourage the listeners. It was World Mandela Day, July 18, 2019 and Legacy Collection hosted a gallery evening in honour of Nelson Mandela’s life and legacy, and included guest artists. Legacy Collection is also taking young South African artists under their wing at this studio space to assist them in getting their art well known, their business plans and how to develop their skill as an artist. The latest artist is Themba Mkangeli who is a self taught ball point pen artist. He has drawn incredible portraits with the only tool he could afford, a ball point pen. And has created striking drawings of some struggle heroes such as Nelson Mandela, Oliver Thambo, and many more. Charmaine is planning to focus on America in 2020 as she feels called to California. There have been many dreams of America and she has been given favor over the land of Hollywood. “People of high influence will call you their own” was spoken over Charmaine’s life in 2013 and this has come into being. Charmaine took that prophesy to be the truth and trusted God to make it come to pass. Now major stars wear Legacy Collection, such as Taraji P. Henson, Sean Penn, Paula Abdul, Terrence Howard and many more. Some of them even call her their “cousin from Africa.” Legacy Collection jewelry has also been on a few Netflix movies in 2019 and on the Empire Series on Fox television in 2018. legacycollection.org
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Holywood
Photo by Beulah Ekkelencamp
Alyssa
ISSUE 8 + GOOD FATHER
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2019
From mom to actress, Alyssa Quilala, wife of Jesus Culture frontman Chris Quilala, models faithfulness and patience—and it's paying off.
BY NISSI GUIAO
intro
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lyssa Quilala (wife, mom, model and actress) has faithfully lived behind the scenes before she was ever in any kind of spotlight. Her faithfulness is the driving force of success in her rising career as a talented model and actress. Beautifully, it’s also been the long-running thread that’s kept her from falling apart throughout the different seasons of her life. The unwavering conviction in her heart to stay faithful is a solid practice that clearly leads to every single one of her present (and past) breakthroughs.
Faithfulness is the overlooked seam that powerfully melds our dreams into reality. In this day and age, we can be so quick to put dreams in our Godspot; and then we find ourselves angry (bitter even) towards Him down the road when impatience gets the best of us. This backwards pattern is never what He intended for us to follow. There’s definitely a mysterious design in His planning. But when we choose to be faithful no matter what, the kind of beauty He achieves in our surrender is a stunning masterpiece only He can sew together.
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Alyssa Quilala first rose to the spotlight as she became known as the wife of Chris Quilala, Worship Pastor at Jesus Culture Sacramento and frontman of the Jesus Culture band. She married him at 19 years old, with the desire to be part of the entertainment industry tucked away in her heart somewhere. Becoming a newlywed and a mom early on, that desire in her likely got buried a little deeper. She “had no career planned” at the time; but during the period of getting settled into motherhood, she learned to embrace the gift of that role.
FAITHFUL AT HOME The first eight years of Alyssa’s marriage she spent supporting Chris from home as he consistently traveled. She reminisces, “I remember the times where he was out on tour and he’s experiencing the touch of the Holy Spirit. Every night, people are getting saved and healed. And I’m, you know, disciplining kids, or [dealing with] something else that’s happening that’s not fortunate.” Understandably, there were moments Alyssa felt left out, confused even. She shares, “At first, it was intimidating to marry this man” because she didn’t sing and at the time she “wasn’t a preacher, or anything like that.” She found herself struggling, thinking “Where’s my role?” and “How am I at all a part of this when I’m just at home?” and “Nobody else sees this right now. Nobody else sees that I’m lonely…that I’m tired…” But over time, she began to seriously realize how special her contribution as a loving and nurturing mom really was. The feelings of disconnection to what Chris was doing and what God was doing didn’t go away immediately, of course. Alyssa still chose to
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remain faithful to what she was called to do, even with the heavy thoughts swirling around. “That was my sacrifice into Chris’ ministry—into lives being changed,” she states. No matter how difficult it would get, she did her best to support him so that he wouldn’t have to worry about home while he was away.
THE BEAUTY OF SACRIFICE Those are the sacrifices “that only God sees” and “don’t need recognition.” The sacred actions of Alyssa behind closed doors essentially opened the doors of opportunity she gets to walk through today. She tells us, “There are certain sacrifices that we all have to make that do not get noticed by anybody but the Lord, and that’s enough. That’s so enough! I think, so many times, people think that their sacrifices into the body of Christ need to be recognized every single time. But we don’t need that. We shouldn’t need that. Being faithful with those sacrifices is just an ‘open door’ to God being able to say ‘Hey I saw that…I saw that, and because of it, I’m going to breathe life on the things that you postponed because of a bigger picture.’” “When it comes to marriage,” Alyssa shares, “I think [quite often] people think that they have to pick a spouse that has the same five-year plan, tenyear plan, or careers that are similar. . .but it’s all about the level of sacrifice for each. As much as I’m invested in Chris’ calling, he’s invested in my calling. It doesn’t matter that they’re entirely different when we both 100% see value in them. I see value in his; he sees value in mine. Who cares if it’s seven years into marriage that your dreams are coming to pass! When you look at all of eternity, the span of eternity, that’s nothing! That’s nothing to say I’ll sacrifice that time to raise kids and help support a
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ministry that was already going.” We unfortunately don’t always witness the kind of radical, sacrificial lifestyle that Alyssa models for us. But in learning from her process, a bigger shift in us will soon hopefully ensue. “Just knowing timing—timing is so important,” says Alyssa. Evidently, her patience has paid off. The opportunities in her life eventually “started unfolding” as their “kids were getting older.” That’s when she became “more accessible to have a bit of a career.” She tells us, “Once we started to feel the doors opening again, and a little bit more freedom for me to walk into those things, that’s when Chris [agreed] that this is time. Like, it’s right now. God is breathing life on this now because of the fact that we’ve been faithful to this one area.” Chris fully supports her. As a result of her dedication over the years, he is just as eager for her to spread her wings as an actress. Their partnership and sacrificial love for each other paints a vivid picture of a beautiful and healthy union.
GETTING PREPARED There’s not a lot of excitement around the concept of preparation in the waiting, but there should be. The call of obedience to get ready isn’t as sexy as come get your harvest now. Faithful prep-work is the step we always want to fast forward through, skip over even. But what we miss when our hearts pull out of alignment is the connection to God that paves the way for our dreams to come to pass. So aware of this, Alyssa postures herself in the proper position to receive. “If I want to do this, I’ve got to be good at it,” Alyssa states. She felt like God told her to “just be prepared,” so she got prepared. That was her “next step.” Since that revelation, she decided to go ahead and take acting classes. And she tells God, “I’m going
preparation
faithfulness
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influence
"I have a heart to take the true heart of God into film. Which is not judgment. Which is not condemnation. Which is not hate!"
to do the work to be ready for when You do open the doors, Lord. I’m going to be ready so that I’m not just sitting around saying ‘Why is it not happening?’” When He opens those doors, instead she can say “I’m available and I’m prepped and I’m trained. And I can go in full force.” Alyssa’s example teaches the importance of not despising the act of preparation. Obedience breeds breakthrough and favor—every time. “Since I started doing that,” she tells, “that’s one example of two films that came to me. Opportunities to produce that came to me. Screenwriting that came to me. I never would’ve thought, in a million years, that I’d produce or screen write any films. Now, there’s four of them. That dream in itself is just now unfolding because I never would’ve even given myself the credit to say that I could even do it. It’s so much bigger than what I could’ve dreamt for myself because I never would’ve said ‘Oh, I can be a producer. I can write a screenplay for film.’” All of this is a direct result of Alyssa “just being prepared.” It’s so important “to be prepared for whatever door God opens." Whether it’s the one that she feels like He definitely told her was going to happen, or maybe something different—or both—she says, “I’ve got to be prepared for all of it.”
INFLUENCING HOLLYWOOD Even as her acting career takes flight, Alyssa still maintains a level of flexibility to flow with how God wants to
move her in and through Hollywood and in film. She says, “You know— it’s funny ‘cause as soon as I think I know, then the path changes a little bit. I find that I love the spontaneity of what God is changing and doing.” It’s quite impressive and inspiring to watch her go into the world of entertainment yet not be of it. Spotlight or no spotlight, she manages to live out the same principles of faithfulness in her day-to-day. Alyssa shares, “I’ve found that, with everything that I’ve done, it’s been me just being faithful to one step at a time. And from there, another door opens that I wasn’t expecting, but I was faithful with His first direction. So then, that next step opens and I’m like, ‘Whoa, that’s cool too! I didn’t know that was on my heart, but I can totally do that. And I can see God lighting that up because I was faithful with the first step.’ That’s happened numerous times. Step after step after step has just been [me choosing to be] faithful to the first [instruction] of what He says…” What’s interesting to discover is that Alyssa hasn’t set out to become “famous.” Her heart from the very beginning has been full of pure motives, simply wanting to be a friend to the individuals in the industry that most have deemed too far gone. She explains, “My first draw to acting was to influence the celebrity society. They live a very lonely life; they’re judged constantly for their decisions without anybody knowing the whole story (you only get snippets of it). We make
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these assumptions of who these people are, and then they get shut down— they get isolated. I could cry talking about it, honestly, ‘cause I feel so much for them.” With such an open heart for celebrities, Alyssa is moved with compassion for them. Moved to action, no matter how anybody else portrays her powerful decision to get involved. She speaks on the difficulty in maneuvering through the industry because “in that world, it can be so liberal and the opinions of Christians are so tainted right now.” Even still, the discomfort doesn’t deter her. She and Chris have the same goal—“to infiltrate” and communicate real, raw and radical love. She wants everyone in Hollywood (from the people behind the scenes to the ones on the big screen) to get the right glimpse of God’s character. “If you think about it,” says Alyssa, “there’s so many different groups and segments in the world that need an encounter and a touch from the Holy Spirit. We have the homeless community; we have sex-trafficking; we have politics—I could keep going. One that you don’t normally hear a ministry for is the entertainment industry. So, that’s something that I’m like, ‘Ahh! We need it so bad!’ And I want to be a catalyst. I want to be in the forefronts of a radical move of the Holy Spirit on film sets. Let’s have prayer meetings before we’re filming. I want what’s coming out of that TV to have a little breath of the Holy Spirit on it.” Alyssa is extremely passionate
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purpose
Holywood about celebrities having healthy outlets and healthy relationships with accountability. Against the common misconceptions about Christians nowadays (honestly as a result of poor representation), she wants to represent the biblical message: “We are loving. We are the ones that are most accepting and the most understanding of life. We will walk with you through your hard times…but you don’t have to stay in your hard times.”
POWERFUL PURPOSE Purposefully driven, Alyssa exclaims, “I have a heart to take the true heart of God into film. Which is not judgment. Which is not condemnation. Which is not hate!” There’s a fire within her to sincerely honor God with her whole life in order to properly represent him whenever she gets casted. On or off screen, she genuinely shines and she’s not afraid to communicate what she believes in. She’s unafraid to be vulnerable about the things that move her. In turn, we believe that her evolving testimony and drive will significantly move and shake up the entertainment industry for the better. With 101K followers (and counting) on Instagram and a steady build of
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momentum in her career, the lifestyle Alyssa gets to lead today truly stems from years of hard work and dedication when no one was looking. Far greater than a desire to star in films, Alyssa has a great desire to help people, especially utilizing some of the hard things she herself has walked through. If you’ve been following her for some years now, you likely remember the devastating loss of her precious son, Jethro Dylan Quilala, in December of 2014. “During the grieving process” that Alyssa experienced, “something changed” in her. She says, “I went from feeling all of those negative emotions, to having an incredible desire to use what I went through to help others. Eventually, I wrote a book [Mending Tomorrow] chronicling my journey. Now, five years later, I’m helping produce Broken Strings, as well as portraying the lead female character, and I am truly using what was meant to harm and hurt me, for something greater (Genesis 50:20).” Though God never (ever) causes pain, He’s, again, the best designer and will use every fiber of our mess to create such stunning works of art. What could’ve easily taken Alyssa out
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has miraculously become a ray of hope in the way that she desires to help others because of it. Through films like Broken Strings, she has an incredible opportunity to “help inspire” people who need a healthy dose of hope. And having gone through her own share of pain and heartbreak, many can relate to her story as they get to know her. Not only that, the authenticity within her powerfully translates through each character she portrays. Alyssa’s acting career is just barely getting started. She has goal to act in two films per year. So far, God is exceeding her expectations. As of 2019, she has already accomplished that; and there’s a possibility for more before the year ends. However high or however deep God takes her into Hollywood and in the entertainment industry, her pure heart will always lead her in the right direction. “Like I said,” she states, “I think it’s just being that vessel—being that vessel that says, ‘Lord, I’m Yours. You’ve created me this way. You have no limits, which means I have no limits. So, if I just give myself to You, You can open these doors…and with You, I can do it!’”
2019
THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED MORE RELIGION. THEY NEED LOVE.
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READ YOUR BIBLE & YOU'LL GET THE TRUTH +BY GOD HIMSELF
READ THESE SCRIPTURES. THEY ALL ENCOMPASS "GOOD." WE JUST LOOKED UP EVERY SCRIPTURE WITH THE WORD "GOOD" IN IT AND WE SAW A PATTERN AND WE HOPE YOU DO TOO.
ISSUE 7 + HOLY
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The truth is this issue of the magazine could be filled with thousands of pages and wouldn't touch the surface of how good the Father is. Every person with a testimony is another proof of the goodness of God. Every day that you breathe air. Every day that you wake up and can worship freely and every day that you can read your Bible is all proof of how radically good God is. Every time you look at the stars in the sky and the sunrise in the morning dancing to the perfect creation and heartbeat of God is proof of how good God is. The key is to focus on the good and look for it because it's all around you and in you and waiting to be birthed from you —all because of God's good plan. This is why even Jesus asked, "Why do you
2019
GOOD SHEPARD
John 10:11 (ESV)
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
Even Jesus said,“Why do you call me good? There is only One that is good, that is God."Luke 18:19
call me good? There is only One that's good." He went to the cross out of obedience to the Good Father's will. In that moment Jesus was relating to the Father as the Son of God and the Son of Man. It was like He was saying to the Father, do I really have to do this? Can I just pass on this radical assignment? But, he knew He had a purpose and it the ultimate GOOD PLAN that led to so many other good plans. Like for example, we are all now called to be sons and daughters and that Jesus is a brother, but also our Savior and King over all authorities. And that's because He followed the plan laid out by the Good Father. Every knee bowing, every tongue confessing, in heaven, on earth and below the earth bows because Jesus fulfilled on the Father's Good Plan. Eveything lives and breathes and exists and transforms because of Him. All existence encompasses the goodness of God and everyday of creation the Bible says,"He saw that it was good." God is good is equal to the fact that God cannot lie and is the very nature of Truth and wholeness and perfection. More than being flawless, He is Holy, He is all Powerful and all Knowing. And still made us His greatest creation in His very own image— the army of God rising up with Kingdom power and authority—His greatest plan. Finally, with this small explanation of Good, we have to war a good warfare. "This charge I entrust to you, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, (19) holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith . . . (I Tim 1:18-19). Study the Word of God and be a GOOD CHILD of a GOOD FATHER.
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GOOD MINISTER/GOOD DOCTRINE I Tim 4:6 (ESV)
"If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed."
GOOD FOUNDATION
I Tim 6:18-19 (ESV)
"Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, (19) storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed."
GOOD LIGHT
Gen 1:4 (ESV)
"And God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness."
GOOD WORD OF GOD Heb 6:4-6 (ESV)
"For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5 and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, 6 and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt."
GOOD GIFTS
Mat 7:11 (ESV)
"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
GOOD PLEASURE
Eph 1:4-6 (KJV)
"According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: (5) Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, (6) To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved." MEGAMORPHOSISMAGAZINE.COM
+ HOLYWOOD
Photos by Sarah J. Arms
SOUTH AFRICAN BORN ACTOR EDWIN GAGIANO FINDS HIS PURPOSE BEHIND THE CAMERA
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trouble because I wasn’t interested in anything but living in this imaginary world of make believe. That led to being in trouble in school. So I had to get special tutoring and special attention. They labeled me with ADHD and dyslexia—all these labels—which led to me [feel] like I needed to be normal."
Edwin Gagiano is an American actor, born in South Africa who rose to success after working with Oscar-nominated Director Darrell Roodt on a TV show called 'Snake Park' and 'Seun (Son),' a war film that won awards for best picture and best actor. Gagiano went on to play various roles, including work showcasing his talent as a rock singer and musician. He gathered 46 episodic credits in television. Gagiano accumulated another dozen film credits that made him one of South Africa's top-earning actors. . .but it wasn't easy.
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MAKE POWERFUL DECISIONS
by Jenene Stafford
Actor & Filmmaker Edwin Gagiano learned 7 life-changing lessons along the journey of finding his purpose. They weren't easy, but the fire was there rooting him on and reminding him of who he was born to become.
dwin Gagiano, gifted actor, writer producer and filmmaker from South Africa, can’t remember life without music or acting as the backbone of his existence. Growing up in a faith-filled family, he was no stranger to the church. His love for music came from attending non-denominational church services that were packed with live worship and experienced musicians. He started playing the drums at age eight. He recalls banging on his mother’s pots and pans with the occasional grater to get the perfect cowbell effect. At age nine, he recorded himself singing over his parent’s Celine Dion cassettes, which “did not go unpunished.”
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THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE The foreseeable future was filled with confusion and consequential rejection. Gagiano started to struggle with his grades and constantly got in trouble for drawing cartoons in his books. He got behind on his schoolwork and was sent for testing. He shares, “Growing up I was very different. I would be in this imaginary world, and I got in
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Gagiano's gifts were beginning to unfold but they had not yet been recognized by the world around him. Like many successful creatives during early childhood, it's the gift that goes unseen—the thing we obsess over that can be a curse or a gift. The challenges at home and in school affected him emotionally but he began to learn the power of decision to overcome the labels. He learned that he got to choose, that it was his choice to decide who he will be and what he would become. And even back then he says “I had this thing inside me prompting me.” As Gagiano reflects back, he remembers people speaking negatively over him, saying he was “a little slow” and “that he wasn't really gonna graduate in a normal school and probably never get a degree.” Strong-willed and tenacious, he “decided to graduate in one of the most prestigious schools, gain top ten academic prestige, and also got an engineering degree in software development—just to break those curses, so to speak.” He powerfully believes “The only way to break the curse is to break through it and go beyond it.” However, saying the words and actually living them out day-to-day and year-by-year were two entirely different things—there were years of lessons in between. Gagiano was on a path to become a real pro at making decisions but he was barely getting started at this point. This “disability” diagnosis could have been a real serious problem, but God created a way to provide him with what he needed. Even as a child he wasn’t “affected negatively
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+ HOLYWOOD
much because it provided a way [for him] to get the personal attention [he needed].” His “time at the Intentional Learning School was one of the best academic journeys to date.” Because for three years, Gagiano got the attention he needed to analyze and question anything and everything. “I had teachers surrounding me with the true heart of a teacher,” Gagiano says. His art teacher noticed his gift as an artist and told her husband about what she’d witness day-to-day. She was so impressed to see a child mumbling songs under his breath and playing the drums on his lunchbox at breaks. Upon discovery, her husband was intrigued by the opportunity to gain a drama student with such a passion for the arts. He urged her to mentor Gagiano until he ventured off to high school—she did so by repeatedly telling him how intelligent he was and building his self-esteem. His mother also affirmed his strengths and because it was a constant occurrence in his life, he decided to believe that it must be true. FINDING HIS TRIBE It then came time for Gagiano to say goodbye to his art teacher, but her husband Dr. Olivier was ready to welcome him into his class. Despite his fear of rejection, the first day he arrived he was greeted by a classroom full of friendly students and a monologue [assignment] from the movie Good Will Hunting. He found his tribe and learned later on that Dr. Olivier also at one time was rejected and got told “he was too stupid to graduate college, let alone high school.” Like his own story, Dr. Oliver was told “You should just drop out to get a head-start on your life” and made it his mission to prove them wrong by graduating with a Doctorate of Musical Arts. This was great motivation and a load of inspiration for Gagiano. He started dedicating weekends to studying and allowing his
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creativity to grow. Instead of making bullet points around the information he needed to ingest, he would draw pictures and taught himself to storyboard information.
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DEFEAT THE CURSE One day while Gagiano was writing his final paper in economics, an essay question threw him off. He got stuck and he knew that he had a problem because getting this answer wrong would impact his grade dramatically. He closed his eyes and Proverbs 23:7 (“as he thinks within himself so he is”) suddenly popped up in his mind and it would forever become the motto of his life. Right then, God showed up and gave him the secret tool to overcome his disability. He recalls “I saw the entire answer [in my mind]! The answer sat on the page in front of me, word for word.” In that moment, Gagiano discovered that he could pull information from his sub-consciousness and that he had a photogenic memory. He took home the award for scholastic achievement and the provincial trophy for academic achievement that year. “I defeated the scholastic curse that had been placed on me by my [mean] teacher, he says.” After high school, Gagiano traveled to America. At first, he failed as an actor and ended up in a traveling carnival on the border of McAllen, Texas
and Mexico. He used his savings to pay his way through college. During those years, he started a band and released his first album called Three Reasons Why. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in Computer Systems Engineering, he took an office job with a life insurance company to save some more [money]. PAIN BEFORE THE BREAKTHROUGH Sometimes we discover what doesn’t work before we discover what does— most of the time there’s some level of pain involved. Gagiano says “2012 was
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the year where my life changed forever.” He’d just graduated from college when he says “An emptiness overcame me when I looked at what had become of the 9-year-old kid who would run in the fields of South Africa, saying to myself, ‘One day, I am going to do something great and work in the movies.’” He had come to terms with being 23 and working as a financial advisor, barely making rent. The pressure from the job and the sales quotas, however, caused him severe anxiety, to the point where he says, “I felt like I wanted to tear my own skin off.” He also experienced routine panic attacks. Work was suffering and he was forced to cancel appointments with clients as he was at the end of his rope. “One night [I] broke out in tears as I was doing a financial needs analysis and I didn’t want to be there—I [was] embarrassed and realized I was headed somewhere that didn’t look too good, and fast.” He binge-watched a ton of Bob Proctor and Jack Canfield videos to get motivated enough to get out of bed and go close some deals. He says “I was a rat running in place on a giant wheel leading nowhere but my own demise.” Gagiano was hating life at this point, like so many of us do when we’re looking for purpose and meaning and it’s a battle getting the breakthrough.
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REMEMBER THE VISION Gagiano got a break and found out one of South Africa’s biggest rock singers was coming to town to do a fan event and he decided to try and contact him. Coincidentally, or not, he had met the
singer a few years earlier when he mistook Gagiano for one of his band members. “I [created] my most convincing elevator pitch [and] he said ‘Why don’t you swing by an event I’m doing, [but I only have] one minute to spare.’” He excitedly “started thinking of all the possibilities [his] brain was painting in front of [him].”
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The breakthrough finally came when God woke up the 9-year-old child in Gagiano and he was reminded once again of the vision of being in the movies. During this turning point meeting he asked “What are you busy with lately?” He discovered that Bouwer was getting into acting and it sparked hope again. In that moment, he was convinced that he would get to work with him one day. He asked a lot of questions about the movie in-
dustry and found out from Bouwer how important it was for him to “get an agent.” Getting someone to sign Gagiano was a daunting task as a “nobody.” Searching for someone to get on board became his day job for the next 3 to 6 months. “I had 14 days because I was running out of patience and money to live on.” He stayed motivated temporarily because he succeeded in closing one of South Africa’s biggest rockstars
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as his client. But, the battle was far from over, in fact, this was the first real resistance he would experience since he was a child. A HUMBLING REALIZATION By the following Monday morning, the excitement over the meeting had worn off—it was a short-lived success. Headed back to his cubicle he saw a poorly dressed man on TV basically say “Repent of your sins.” The man on TV
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challenged viewers to find something in life to be grateful for and Gagiano admits “I mumbled under my breath, ‘Thanks for what… Thanks that I’m stuck in a life that I didn’t sign up for?’” He recalls getting really angry and arguing with God. “I started blaming God and before I knew it I was in tears at my bedside,” he says. He got a cleansing right then and there and “it felt like a bathtub of water being poured over [his] head.” The experience opened up a vision and he saw himself as a young boy again saying “One day I’m going to work in the movies.” Gagiano fumed with resentment and asked God “Why did you break your promise? Why Leonardo Di Caprio and Johnny Depp—why not me?” He saw a vision of his childhood, running in the fields, playing the same old game in his make-believe world that he would get lost in for days. He rushed over to the mirror and answered his own question as he rebuked himself and God spoke to him “It was always you, you just didn’t have the guts to go for it, so go now!!!” Immediately he realized he needed to talk about what he was going through so he called his colleague downstairs and humbly poured out his heart. “I’m 20 years old and I’m a life insurance agent and, bro, I’m depressed man! This life is boring. It’s mundane and I’m just not cool with it.” Gagiano’s friend spoke a powerful sTatement that in that moment was exactly what he needed to hear, even though he really didn’t want to hear it. His colleague said, “Why don’t you just quit and go for it?” In all honesty it made him angry and he said, “Dude, that’s going to take 5 years. His friend said, “Yes, but if you start now you’ll be 25, but if you start in 5 years then you’ll be 30." The truth was that God had been prompting him since he was 16 and teaching him all along to become who he was born to be. He tells about the day when he was sitting on his mom’s couch wondering why he saw such a strong vision of himself
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as an actor and a producer in America, but didn’t see how it was possible. He says “I [heard] in my heart, ‘Go on the internet and go look it up—how to get a green card.’” It was then he realized he’d have a chance, however slim, since the opportunities were only sometimes given “if you’re a professor, doctor or an actor.” He was excited because he was an actor, but he was only 16 and he did nothing in response to God’s prompting at the time.
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REMEBER GOD IS ON YOUR SIDE Now at age 20, Gagiano was ready to do something about it. The odds were highly stacked against him and he knew it, but something (or someone) inside him broke that day. The truth is if you have God on your side, it doesn’t matter what odds are against you. He finally became sick and tired of being sick and tired. It moved him to quit his job that week and he ventured off to Johannesburg after loading everything that mattered into his white Toyota hatchback beater. He was finally committed to taking the first big step towards the dream God put in his heart. Things began to line up in some ways for Gagiano. He shares, “My first agent who signed me thought I was a little weird because I also didn’t know the formalities of the audition process and walked in the audition with my laptop
to take notes. But when I performed, the artistic reserve that had built up to a near eruption, erupted,” he shares. He was on a plane to America two months later to perform in front of twenty agents and industry professionals in Orlando, Florida and he received 11 callbacks during the trip. Many of the relationships led to other doors opening, but nothing nearly as big as what was about to happen.
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WORK THE PLAN Gagiano’s conversation with his colleague caused him to decide to take another action and to begin to create the
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habit of taking action. Although he was denied three times for his green card, each time he received a letter that provided him the missing requirements. One by one he marked these items off the list and re-applied, but getting the green card wasn’t a quick thing. It took nearly four years before the requirements were all met and then it took another seven months after for his green card to get approved. He got it, four years and four months after that conversation with his colleague. He planned the work and worked the plan and he got the green card. “It’s completely insane! But it was a vision I received as a child, and I believed it in my heart.” Fast-forward seven years later, providence moved but Gagiano still doesn’t quite understand how things moved so fast, or what really happened. He was so hungry for his dream to come to pass that for the next five years of his life he says “I ate, slept and breathed acting and while I’m not proud to say that I missed weddings and funerals for my work and despite the stacked odds, I didn’t know that it was nearly impossible to get a green card of extraordinary ability.”
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LEARN TO KNOW YOURSELF Gagiano left his life and family behind in South Africa and came to meet more resistance but these years proved to
be life-altering. “No one knew who the hell I was,” he tells us. It was a rude awakening for him that sent him into the neighborhoods to sell alarms door to door for two years to save up to move to Los Angeles. During this time he learned the art of sales on an entirely new level and it was the key that opened the door to the beginning of his career as a producer. He learned to not only welcome vast amounts of rejection in any single given day but also how to enjoy himself in the moment. “I had time to reflect and to get to know myself and what I accept and reject, how to enjoy the breeze out-
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side or the smell of coffee at breakfast before my day begins,” Gagiano says. The challenges and setbacks formed the lessons for him to become the person God was positioning him to be. He saved enough money to move to Hollywood where he pursued the next leg of his acting career. But this time, as a person who had goals far exceeding acting. “I always tell people who ask me if they should become actors, ‘Is it really what you want to do?’ The industry is a jealous mistress, but it’s my mistress. She’s the reason I couldn’t attend my only brother’s wedding because I was filming my first lead role on a TV show with an Oscar-winning director.” You have to know if you take this industry on that it’s for the greater good and it’s your purpose in life.
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REMEMBER THE GREATER GOOD That greater good showed Gagiano his purpose behind the camera. In 2019 after a film screening in Beverley Hills he approached an agent with the idea to produce a documentary and the agent was interested. The passion for the project began with an emotionally challenging trip back to his own country in 2017. He went to South Africa and thought he was going to do something charitable and it would just be a notch in his belt for
doing charity work. However, what he learned was the most valuable lesson of all. “It wasn’t even about me—it was so liberating because anything in my whole career that has been focused on me was just so depressing and so vain. That’s why I tend to not focus heavily on me when it comes to my work.” Now, Gagiano has fallen in love with the movie business and the people involved in it and he keeps his focus on the genuine good he can do, not on himself. “I notice as a shy extrovert, someone who appears extroverted physically, but on the inside I tend to feel very shy in the midst of people. I
get social awkwardness, but I notice when I serve people that it doesn’t matter what I feel anymore and it’s been liberating—it’s been a beautiful thing.” His heart is to serve people and to be able to do what he knows best— filmmaking. It’s an interesting journey thus far and will continue to be for him. "It’s been pretty humbling to say the least,” he states. Now, Gagiano’s serving behind the camera as a producer where the focus is on bringing real issues to light. He’s helping a charity organization called the Lofdal Community Project which has been saving children from abandonment for over 30 years. This is the next chapter in his film career. “I was deeply touched when I learned of the reality the very country who raised me is facing right now,” he shares. Every year more than 3000 children, the majority of whom are infants and children under the age of one, die from abandonment. The infants are found in places you cannot begin to imagine—in smoldering trash cans, on landfills and in ditches filled with sewer waste. Most aren’t so fortunate to make it until they’re found. Something that sounds like it was written in Hollywood has become an epidemic in South Africa. Gagiano’s purpose is to help make a difference through producing through the Gagiano Giving Foundation. The foundation will focus on films bringing awareness to human rights and to contribute financially toward the Lofdal Community Project. He says, “Our documentary focuses on the triumphant soul as we take the viewer with us into the villages to feed the nation, raise the children and talk to the victims who are now running and supporting others who are facing the same reality they once faced.” The Gagiano Giving Foundation, in partnership with the Lofdal Community Project, is on a quest to research and uncover the true cause of this epidemic South Africa is facing.
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This project hopes to raise more support to remedy this epidemic by encouraging people to take massive action—to celebrate life by enabling those who cannot care for themselves, or who wouldn’t otherwise have a voice—to now have a loudspeaker. “We are excited to open up doors for known-filmmakers and people with a heart for giving, to get involved and partner with us so that we can make Hollywood and the rest of the world aware of what’s happening,” he state THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON Today, Gagiano is a proud tenant of a Santa Monica office space four blocks from the ocean, and says "the life I survived to this day almost feels like a distant memory, but the after-effects are real and all around me. As an actor, I currently work in Film and TV, but I recently found myself in the hot seat as the producer of this project in Africa that I am truly honored to be a part of.” He’s learned a lot of lessons to get to this point in discovering his real passion and purpose behind the camera. One important lesson he’s learned as he no longer waits for all the right circumstances to show up is “If you get the glimpse of what it is that you want to do, that makes you want to jump off your seat and start running towards it, then do [that].” People think they need
everything to fall perfectly into place, but he encourages to "Just do [what's in front of you] and work backwards— start with the end in mind." Along the journey of finding his purpose, God gave Gagiano the ability to hold on to the dream He put on his heart at a very early age. He maintains a willingness to learn the lessons and to listen to the voice leading the way. He gets “this thing that [he can] feel in [his] gut. . .and it’s always worked out” for him because he says “I just follow that fire [and] keep following that fire.”
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Early this year, I heard the Lord say, "A new expression from Heaven is going to be released directly to a company of people that will position themselves correctly to receive it.�
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Four
CRAFTSMEN OF SOUND To Terrorize the Horns
BY MALVINA LAUDICINA
Early this year, I heard the Lord say “a new expression from Heaven is going to be released directly to a company of people that will position themselves correctly to receive it.” I inquired of the Lord and He started downloading strategies about the preparation to raise such a company. He has downloaded some of their characteristics and anointings for them to step into the new position. They will be very apostolic and prophetic people that are going to be creative in their approach to solving earthly challenges. They will be a recipient of heavenly expressions and downloads of blueprints directly from the heavens to resolve the great problems we face on the Earth and they will build new foundations necessary for the next move of God. The Lord directed me to Zechariah 1:18-20 and asked me to use this as a guide. As I studied the vision, the strategy started to flow. In this reading, Zechariah has a vision where four craftsmen destroy the horns that came to scatter the
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people of God. The Lord revealed to me that this new army or company will be like the craftsmen of this vision and they will be a creative and skilled people that build and have direct access to gates in Heaven to receive downloads necessary to destroy the horns of the world.
VISION OF THE HORNS Let’s examine the vision to understand the strategy (Zechariah 1:18-21). "Then I raised my eyes and looked, and there were four horns. And I said to the angel who talked with me, 'What are these?' So he answered me, 'These are the horns that have scattered Judah, Israel, and Jerusalem. 'Then the Lord showed me four craftsmen. And I said, 'What are these coming to do?' So he said, 'These are the
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horns that scattered Judah, so that no one could lift up his head; but the craftsmen are coming to terrify them, to cast out the horns of the nations that lifted up their horn against the land of Judah to scatter it.'" As we study the elements of the vision, we find four horns, four craftsmen and their purpose. Let’s start with the horns. Horns are mentioned across the Bible in different contexts and used metaphorically to mean various things. For the purpose of this article, I will focus on some of their significance. One type of reference is the actual use of horns to make sounds (Joshua 6:4-5). Horns are also used as a symbol of strength, power, high places, or representing a kingdom. The use of horns for sound is important in the strategy because sound will be a key element used by God to shift atmospheres and break into the new. Notice I say sound, not music. We see horns used as trumpets to make sounds. They can make sounds of victory as well as sounds for war. As I sought the Lord regarding the horns and the sound, I felt the Lord saying “the horns are powers that will bring a sound that will scatter my people.” There are powers and high places in the world that will be strong horns against the people of God and they will generate sounds that will go against the things God wants to establish. There are kingdoms and mountains of society that have very strong opinions and may contradict what God wants to establish on the Earth in this season. For example, we can easily see the mountains of religion, business, economy and education having agendas contrary to the principles of God. These are areas that we wrestle with daily. We can see how political, financial, educational and differences in our doctrines work against us to divide us and scatter us instead of unifying us. Many of these things im-
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pact and control our lives and we are forced to conform, putting us in conflict with the will of God. These horns may put conflicts and heavy burdens on the people and they will not able to lift their heads as described by the angel in the vision. There needs to be a sound produced to counter the sound of the horns that will terrify them and establish the move of God. There must be a breaking sound to terrify these horns so they stop advancing. We will need true revelation from Heaven to possess the gates and portal to hear heavenly sounds. This new company will be anointed to hear directly from the Lord. The horns have come to scatter the people of God so no one will lift up their heads. This brings hopelessness and we lose sight of God’s plans and agenda. Lifting up their heads to become the gates is part of the strength the company will exercise. In Psalm 24:7-9, we see the importance of keeping the focus on things above. "Lift up your heads, O you gates! And be lifted up, you everlasting doors! And the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, The Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O you gates! Lift up, you everlasting doors! And the King of glory shall come in." We become the gates and doors to let the King of Glory come in and to be effective we must keep our heads lifted up to hear what God wants us to do. We need people that are like gates of Heaven for this new expression to impact the horns and bring Heaven to Earth. The horns will continue to be successful if we are focused down and not up. They will distract us enough with their accusing and threatening sounds that we will not allow the gates to open.
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If the horns are to bring an opposing sound and declaration against the things of God, we must have a company of people willing to say yes to the sound of the Lord that comes directly from Heaven. They need to be familiar with the breaking sound directly from the voice of God and it is essential that they access heavenly portals to master these sound downloads. Their sound may be unconventional but will be used to terrify the horns. Now let’s look at the meaning of the craftsmen in the vision. The word craftsmen in the original language is Hebrew strong 2796 charash which means artisan, blacksmith, carpenters, craftsman, engraver, jeweler, manufacturers, skilled. Based on this definition, these will be people that can shape and engrave the heart of man with their skills, sound and creative efforts. We see this process modeled when the commandments were given. The master engraver, the Lord Himself writes the commandments in tablets of stone. The Ten Commandments were spoken to Moses in God's own voice and then later written on two tablets of stone by the very finger of God. After Moses destroyed the tablets inscribed by God, he made Moses write new ones, just like the ones he had written himself. In both cases, the download came from the sound of the voice of God and engraved like a craftsman would do in tablets of stone. As the horns of the world harden our hearts, the Lord will raise up a company of craftsmen to engrave the messages coming directly from Heaven in men’s hearts. This is one of the skills given to this company. They have access to heaven itself and anointing to engrave hearts with the message and sounds from the voice of God. They will create a new atmosphere as they reproduce the sounds from the voice of the Lord. These creative blacksmiths will
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pound our hardened hearts and horns until they take the shape that God desires. The horns will be pounded until they become our trumpets of victory. These craftsmen will rebuild what the horns have destroyed and be used by God to bring His rule to the world as well as His judgment. I don’t see these craftsmen as artists necessarily; I see them as strategic forces that have access to the Heavens and the supernatural to address what the horns have come to do. They are the solution to natural problems that can’t be resolved with solutions from Earth. It is a community of people that need to be able to see outside the four walls of the church to see things from God’s perspective. The craftsmen are individuals that have the skills and the sharpness to defeat what has been established by the world as normal. This tribe of craftsmen are individuals that have developed a direct connection not just with the spiritual world but with Heaven itself. They have a vertical relationship not just as prophets but as apostolic people that can transform and build. This company will be gathered by the Lord like the Gideon army or David’s army. Unusual, non-traditional, highly-skilled, apostolic and great at building; these are some of the criteria that will help us recognize them. They will stand out for their discernment and easy access to Heaven which will make them a very effective force against the powers of the world. The company will have a global impact since it addresses the nations. They can be compared to the Special Operations Group in the Army which
receives orders directly from their Commander and Chief (voice of God) and they are well trained and skilled for unconventional warfare. Last but not least, number four in the vision is a very important element in this strategy. The number four in the Bible has many appearances and meanings. Four speaks of timing because on day four of creation, the sun, the moon and the stars where created, establishing days, years and sea-
ernment with their sound. The craftsmen will need revelation like Ezekiel of what a vision of God’s throne and government looks like to establish the new. A clear understanding of God’s nature will become critical for the success of this army. Number four in Hebrew is the letter Dalet. The pictograph of this letter is a door. This is the door that gives us access to the supernatural. Jesus said I am the door and for this reason, through Him, we can have access to the things of Heaven. This company becomes the door that the Lord can use for the sound to come in. If we then look at the characteristic of the horns which are higher powers and sounds that come to destroy the people of God possessing gates for destruction, then we have the craftsmen that are skilled, creative people with direct access to Heavenly downloads, sounds of deliverance and very connected to the Throne room, the strategy is clear. The craftsmen will terrify the horns by opening gates to the supernatural culture of Heaven and establish Heaven on Earth as a new government. These will terrify and bring judgment to the horns; in the same manner, the altar of sacrifice with its four horns was used for the judgment of what did not meet God’s standard.
“And be lifted up you everlasting doors! And the King of glory shall come in." sons (Genesis 1:14-19). The horns will get us out of time with their sounds and the craftsmen will understand how to counter and redeem the times, just like the tribe of Issachar (1 Chronicles 12:32). Another significant meaning of number four is the elements around the vision of God seen in Ezekiel 1 and 10. He sees four living creatures transporting a throne with four sides and four wheels. Each of the living creatures (likely Cherubim, a class of angels) has four faces (the face of a man, a lion, an ox and an eagle) and four wings (1:6). The horns will try to create a counterfeit of God’s movement and gov-
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Malvina Laudicina is a speaker, prophetic artist and creativity coach. www.malvinalaudicina.com
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Unlimited Capacity BY HEATHER MURDOCK
everal years ago, I was working on a Bible study and a couple of the questions were, “How is your earthly father and your Heavenly Father alike? How are they different?” I sat mulling over the years of a very difficult childhood and concluded that I didn’t have an answer. At least not for the first part of the question. As I pondered and prayed, the Holy Spirit spoke. The revelation I got was that they both love me to the extent that they are able to. That blew me away. That’s how they are alike. It was rough grow-
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“bUT AS A COLLECTIVE CRY RISES UP TO THE HEAVENS, OUR GOOD FATHER BENDS HIS EAR AND RESCUES US FROM THE WRECKAGE."
ing up, but in my dad’s limited capacity, out of his brokenness, he loved me to the extent that he could. My Heavenly Father also loves me to the extent He can. His capacity for love is unlimited. It is bottomless. It is
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Photo by Kari Shea
whole and perfect. His unlimited love for me heals my heart and delivers me from the chains of the past. His love shows me my worth and gives me a hope and a future, regardless of the past. That revelation enabled me to shift my perspective to see that my father’s father loved him to the extent that he could. With a limited and broken capacity. I began to see the generational pattern of fathers who loved to the extent they could. I realized how much they desperately needed the perfect love and grace of their Father God to soothe and heal the wounds of this world’s limited capacity. Fathers are really important. The consequences of fatherlessness in this generation are clear. Poverty, crime, drug and alcohol abuse, mental health issues and the list goes on. Fatherlessness fills our prisons, our hospitals and our unemployment lines. It’s reached epidemic highs and has produced unprecedented lows. The impact of homes with broken fathers is clear, too. I know it well. But as a collective cry rises up to the heavens, our Good Father bends His ear and rescues us from the wreckage. When nothing the world gives can satisfy the thirsty soul, the parched lips will cry out “Abba Father!” The heart posture of a generation in crisis is soil for the seed of revival. It is com-
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ing. Our greatest need becomes our greatest opportunity to experience the greatest love of the Greatest Father. He will show the fatherless what a true Father’s heart is for His children. He will help the broken fathers love with a greater capacity. He will save the scarred and redeem the rejected. Our Good Father is for you. Do you see it? You must look for the good. Hunt for the gold and there you will see your Good Father. He’s coming. He’s here. He’s running to you! Your Rescuer, your Deliverer, your Redeemer. Your Good Father. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20 NIV "Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:3-4 ESV
HEATHER MURDOCK is a speaker and writer and the host of MMTV. This is her brand new column here called "Unleashed."
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THE AVENGER
BY ANITA ALEXANDER “THIS BOOK IS A GAME CHANGER” – LANA VAWSER
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BY LORI HILL Co-author of the Dokimos Project www.DokimosProject.com
The Acacia Tree
hat is special about the Acacia tree? It’s a simple tree that is found in abundance along the Sinai Peninsula and Israel. Once I comprehended the divine symbolism of this tree, I wept with deep appreciation for my Lord Jesus Christ. Read on to find out what I learned and experienced… On a recent trip to Israel, my husband and I visited Ein Gedi. This is the place where it is believed that David hid in caves when King Saul was pursuing him. It is a desert place, but with a spring of water that flows through it year-round. As we walked along the
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desert path, our tour guide pointed out the trees that were dispersed along the path and on the horizon. He explained that those were Acacia trees, referred to in the Bible as Shittah trees. This type of wood was specifically required by God in His instructions to Moses for building the tabernacle and its contents. Our tour guide also directed us to look closely at the tree, and he showed us the thorns that the tree produces. Each thorn was over an inch long, some thorns were more than two inches long, and they were very sharp! He said it is widely believed that the Acacia branches were formed into the crown of thorns that was forced onto
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Jesus’ head. This picture of sacrificial pain went deep into our hearts. After Moses lead the people out of Egypt and they were wandering in the desert, God wanted to have a place of meeting with His people. He gave specific instructions to Moses (you can find those instructions in Exodus 25:1 to 27:19, 30:1-6 and chapters 3538). Throughout these descriptions, the Acacia wood is called out. In some translations, Acacia is referred to as Shittim. Here is an example of one of those scriptures. Exodus 25: 8-16 (with added detail) says, “Then have them make a sanctuary for me, and I will dwell among them. Make this tab-
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ernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you. Have them make an ark of Acacia (Shittim) wood—two and a half cubits long, a cubit and a half wide, and a cubit and a half high. Overlay it with pure gold, both inside and out, and make a gold molding around it. Cast four gold rings for it and fasten them to its four feet, with two rings on one side and two rings on the other. Then make poles of Acacia (Shittim) wood and overlay them with gold. Insert the poles into the rings on the sides of the ark to carry it. The poles are to remain in the rings of this ark; they are not to be removed. Then put in the ark the tablets of the covenant law, which I will give you.” As I researched information about the Acacia tree, I pondered the divine significance, the imagery, the meaning, the comparison of the Acacia tree to Jesus, and what He did for us on the cross. I was astonished at what I learned. God surprised me yet again with the details He put into such a seemingly insignificant tree. I discovered that the Acacia is unique, able to grow in arid conditions and survive in drought. It has long tap roots that can go deep into ground-water resources. It is fire resistant, and some varieties will re-sprout from the root crown when the above ground portion of the tree is damaged by fire. Interesting, too, is that most species have a shorter life span, living only 20-30 years. This tree's wood, however, is very hard and resistant to decay. It is unpalatable to bugs. The tree quite often is characterized by an umbrella shaped form providing shade for birds and animals. Do you see Jesus in this symbolism? The Tabernacle was built so that God would have a place of dwelling
among His people. It was the Tent of Meeting. The Lord God Almighty wanted to have relationship with His people. Jesus came so that we, His people, could become the dwelling place of God. No longer would the Tabernacle, or the Temple, be a single place of relationship and sacrifice. He became flesh, Immanuel, God with us. He died with a crown of thorns on His head. The very wood, used to build the Tabernacle of God, was pressed into His
By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” By wearing a crown of thorns on his head, representing the curse of sin, the blood from Jesus' brow covered the penalty of disobedience. We now have freedom from the curse of thorns! My husband and I are business owners and for us this means that Jesus has freed us from the curse that makes it toilsome to earn a living. Sure, we have challenges, but our business has the favor of the Lord! His favor is available to all who seek Him. This means you too! Jesus’ shed blood, through His death and resurrection, was the perfect sacrifice needed for all of humanity to become a vast collection of living stones that form an eternal tabernacle of the Holy Spirit. 1 Peter 2: 4-6 says, “As you come to him, the living stone rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him—you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” The Holy Spirit lives in you and me, and together we are the living stones in this amazing Tabernacle of God. We have access to the Holy of Holies and direct communication with The Perfect Loving Creator of the Universe because of Jesus’ obedience to be the framework (Acacia wood) of this living Tabernacle and the perfect sacrifice (adorned with Acacia thorns) that gives us access. This intense love story is symbolized in a tree that is easily overlooked when travelling through the desert, the Acacia tree. God is so good.
“By wearing a crown of thorns on his head, representing the curse of sin, the blood from Jesus' brow covered the penalty of disobedience.” head. Matthew 27:28-29 says, “They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. ‘Hail, king of the Jews!’ they said.” The crown of thorns also represented the curse that Adam and Eve had to endure as a penalty for their disobedience in the Garden of Eden. To Adam he said in Genesis 3:17-19, "Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it’, cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.
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Resources: www.cotf.edu; www.godasagardener.com Bible: New International Version
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BY ANITA ALEXANDER
It's just a taste, but a good taste.
An Excerpt only from the Book
Avenger: The Rise of the Kingdom ANITA WILL BE SPEAKING AT OUR MEGAMORPHOSIS SOUND-MAKERS EVENT ON SEPT. 21ST AT THE CALIFORNIA STATE CAPITOL & HER BOOK IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON NOW. SEE HER AD IN THIS ISSUE OF MEGAMORPHOSIS MAGAZINE.
ABANDONED LOVERS This model of David’s abandoned and radical worship is the model that the Lord holds for those who desire to walk in the Davidic Government. The Lord desires and requires a people who will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. This is the model of the restoration of
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the presence. God is inviting emerging leaders with the heart of David to strip themselves of traditions and formalities, expectations and performance, selfish- self- seeking agendas, and carnal reasonings and be baptized afresh in His fire. For the Lord is seeking an abandoned love, transparent and raw, authentic of heart, immersed in the fear of the Lord. This devotion to the fear of God rather than the fear of man, results in a people who worship with a radical abandonment in the Love for
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their KING. A love that is on display and not hidden behind reputation and status, dignity and tradition. A love that catches like wild fire and beckons the people of God to follow suit. FRESH FIRE TO LIGHT THE WICKS OF HEARTS The Lord is aligning hearts in this season. Like in the days of Elijah where He was the God who answered by fire! These are those days where the Lord is going to reveal Himself to His people by Fire! For it wasn’t the world
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the Lord was trying to convince, but it was a people that were called by His name, who were diseased by idolatry and witchcraft. As Elijah rebuilt the altar in 1 Kings 18, so this is the hour where the altar of the heart is being restored and aligned. The foundation of the Kingdom Government is being relayed, prophetically represented by Elijah as he placed the 12 stones when rebuilding the altar. As Elijah then poured water over the altar before the Fire from heaven consumed it, so hearts are being immersed in the waters of repentance before the baptism of Fire may consume it. That is the shaking part, the threshing floor. Even likened to a fresh circumcision of the heart like the trimming of the wick in Matthew 25. Our wicks need to be trimmed, where revelation once burned, where we knew things and did things a certain way. God is calling us into a new way. We need to cut off the old way, the old way of doing things, by trimming the wick, a fresh repentance of the heart. He is coming with fresh fire and fresh fire won’t burn on an old wick. He is wanting us to burn with fresh revelation because He is taking us in a way we have never been before (Joshua 3:4). Allow him to pour the water over the altar of our hearts and be baptized afresh in the Jordan of repentance. There needs to be a fresh circumcision of the heart, a fresh cutting back of the flesh from the realm of sense and reason, the place of doing things in the arm of the flesh because God is calling us higher. Now is the season of the pouring of water on the altar, embrace the refining and repent of those things that God is putting His finger on. Things that may have been ok for the last season but aren’t ok for the coming season. Now is the season you
are being prepared for the fresh fire. Now is the season to be baptized afresh in the FEAR OF THE LORD and remember it is not by might, nor by power but by His spirit (Zechariah 4:6). This fresh fire encapsulates the FEAR OF THE LORD. The fear of the Lord will cause you to depart from Evil and enable you to walk in His Light and His WISDOM (Proverbs 9:10). The fear of the Lord will mark those who are separate ones, ones who will not partake of the corruption this world has to offer. THE FEAR OF THE LORD RETURNING TO THE CHURCH The word of the Lord came to me saying; “The Fear of the Lord is returning to my people, to My leaders that have the Heart of David but need an adjustment and alignment to do things MY WAY, just like David with his failed first attempt with putting the ark on the wagon. The Fear of the Lord is returning to my church so that they will worship Me in a way pleasing to Me not pleasing to man or themselves. For what is pleasing to Me is not always pleasing to those of the household of Saul. To those who put emphasis on how the flesh looks, to those who fear man and man’s opinions rather than my opinion. For Michal Saul’s daughter mocked and held David in contempt for the worship that pleased Me (2 Samuel 6:16). Those of the house of carnality will mock, and will despise that which pleases me. For the mind of the flesh is at war with the mind of the Spirit-( Romans 8). For what pleases me may be offensive to the carnal mind. But those who have aligned their heart in this season and who have repented like David for trying to carry that which is holy in an unholy way, those who have poured the water of repentance on the altar of their hearts and say “SEND YOUR FIRE, WE
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NEED YOUR FRESH FIRE LORD!” will I display my pleasure of such a sacrifice, and I will answer by FIRE, and it will be seen who serves me in purity and righteousness by the manifest fire of my presence in their midst. For those who strip themselves of the cloak of dignity and the approval addiction of man, I will pour out my favor, I will raise them up as a voice in the land that I will send them. In the land that I will send them, they shall be my light burning bright in the midst of the night! They will be my torches, they will be My beacons of truth. For those that choose to worship Me in spirit and in truth and worship around the right altar, I will meet with FIRE. For even in the days of David where there was a procession of great praise and worship leading the ark on the “new wagon”, It was not met with My endorsement or favor. And even so in the days of Elijah the prophets of Baal worshipped around a false altar, all sacrificing, cutting themselves making a lot of “noise” it did not attract My fire. All the noise in the world at church does not mean that I have arrived, for you will know because I am a God who answers by FIRE! Know this is the hour of the DAVIDS who will strip themselves of earthly reputation, titles and the need to be looked upon with respect, awe and honor and become transparent before the Lord. This is the new breed of leadership. This is the new government. Who don’t fear to be vulnerable and expose their weaknesses and shortcomings, who are honest and don’t hide behind the cloak of respectability and reputation. The House of Saul (the flesh) seeks honor, respect, admiration, praise, reputation, but those of the House of David (the Spirit) say HE IS ENOUGH!”
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+ ROOTS
A New Name for California photo by Hannah Busing
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" . . .You shall no longer be called California but Beulah for the Lord delights in you." BY CHRIS LEEPER
ou shall no longer be called California, but Beulah for the LORD delights in you.” These were the words I heard during the 40 Days of HOPE 2018, an annual initiative where we unite in prayer, fasting, worship and outreach 40 days to Palm Sunday. When I heard those words in a prayer meeting, I did not remember what Beulah meant, so I had to Google it to make sure I was declaring something accurate over California. Beulah comes out of Isaiah 62:4, “You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight is in Her, and your land Married (Beulah); for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married.” The Lord was speaking His narrative over California. He delights in His people, and the land is married to Him; our state is covenanted to God.
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HOW CALIFORNIA GOT ITS NAME In 1510, a popular Spanish novel titled The Adventures of Esplandián spoke of an island east of the Asian mainland near to what the book called the Terrestrial Paradise. In this novel, the island was called California and it was full of beautiful women and gold. It captured the minds of the Spanish sailors. And when they discovered the Peninsula of Baja California, they thought it was the Island referred to in the book, hence they called it California. This novel had
such a stronghold on the Spanish that they mapped California as an island for 200 years, even when they knew it wasn’t. It took an edict from the King of Spain declaring that California was not an island for them to start mapping it properly. It is important to know this history and understand that California received its name through “lust and greed,” and that the identity of California comes from the enemy and his narrative over this state. When the Lord spoke, “You shall no longer be called California but Beulah for the Lord delights in you,” He was identifying this state as being covenanted to Him and breaking the false narrative of the enemy in the minds of His people.
CALIFORNIA BELONGS TO JESUS It is time to operate in the Lord’s narrative for this state. California belongs to Jesus; this is the narrative the Lord wants us to embrace and believe. For too long we have listened to the voice of the enemy and agreed with his narrative that we are “forsaken” and our land is “desolate,” but the Lord wants us to know that His delight is in us and our land is covenanted to Him. When we operate in this narrative, no weapon formed against us will prosper. We will have the boldness of the children of Israel when they understood that the land before them was the Promised Land of God. Our Founding Fathers believed America was this type of promised land and that God, in His sovereign
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plan, gave us this land for the propagation of the gospel to the entire world. In addition, they believed that we had the opportunity as “We the People” to cultivate and bring the Kingdom of God to earth without the tyranny of lords, aristocrats, kings and dictators. Much of this Christian history has been lost in our day. But the time for the children of God to arise, to declare the narrative of the Lord and lead our state and nation into its true identity is now. The Lord is not intimidated by the current condition of California; He is, however, waiting for His people to cooperate with His plans. It’s our mandate to pray, act, and lead in the power of the Holy Spirit and in the wisdom of His Word. If we will rise up in the will and ways of the Lord, our enemies will be scattered. It’s time—California (Beulah) will be a city on a hill where “her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a burning torch” (Is 62:1). I believe Isaiah chapter 62 is God’s chapter for this hour of history in California. Read it for yourself—study it, live it—and we will see a massive shift in our culture for the good of all of mankind.
Chris Leeper is the Director of 40 Days of Hope. www. 40daysofhope.net
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COMPLETE ABANDONMENT
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"HE DID NOT CARE HOW HE WOULD BE RIDICULED FOR ALLOWING HER TO BRAZENLY COME AND THROW HERSELF AT HIS FEET WITH HER TEARS AND WIPING THEM WITH HER HAIR, THEN ANOINTING THEM WITH PERFUME, AND KISSING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN." BY ANDREA BUTSON
THE LIGHTS WERE DIM IN THE OLD warehouse turned sanctuary as she made her way to the front of the service for “special music” time. I waited in eager anticipation of what I knew was to come. The quality and pureness of her voice matched the beautiful melody from her heart which would move me to tears for reasons I could not yet explain. She stood breathless, tears forming in her eyes as she sang her love song to Jesus: “Broken and spilled out, just for love of you Jesus, my most precious treasure, lavished on thee. Broken and spilled out, and poured at your feet. In sweet abandon, let me be poured out and used up for thee.” I remember well as a fourth grade girl the impact her worship made upon my impressionable heart. It is the first moment I can remember watching someone worship with such sweet abandon to Jesus. Certainly I had been to many church services and Sunday school classes from the time I was born, but there was something special about my pastor’s wife's devotion that marked my life in that small, humble church in a rural city of California. Even after moving on from that church, and moving to Ohio, her song stayed with me for years. I would picture her often, weeping, singing, not worrying about what people might think, or how her makeup might run. All she cared about was Jesus. Fast forward to college. After a series of dating relationships that left me heartbroken, I finally found my husband, and we immediately got married, even before graduating
college. It was of course a time of discovery, learning about myself, and growing into being a stable, married adult. That came with a lot of insecurities and emotional wounds being exposed. At the same time, I was finishing college, and had a class on Exegetical Bible Study. When it came time for me to choose a passage of scripture to study, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. The song Broken and Spilled Out was about the woman who came and anointed Jesus’ feet. She was known to be a “sinful” woman, one who was shunned by the culture at the time. I found the passage in Luke on this woman, and began diligently studying. My heart was coming alive in new ways as I was faithful to study this passage. I felt compelled to make more room in my life to hear Jesus speaking to me. I decided to fast entertainment, all movies and TV, just to have more time to get to know Jesus on an even deeper level. My assignment stopped being an assignment, and became my heartbeat, my breath of life, my watering hole. The more I learned about this woman, the more I related to her, and the more Jesus was coming alive to me. I could sense him in the most tender ways. I could hear him throughout my day, whispering to me, encouraging me, telling me how much he loved me. And the only response I could think of that meant anything was to give back to him what he so lovingly and freely gave to me. I made room for him, and here he was, standing there, telling me he has been waiting for me, that he had been making room for me all this time.
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I could hear him speaking to me the same way I am sure he spoke to that “sinful” woman. He did not care what she had done, or how people saw her. He did not care how he would be ridiculed for allowing her to brazenly come and throw herself at his feet, wetting his feet with her tears and wiping them with her hair, then anointing them with perfume, and kissing them over and over again. He did not care about his reputation, that some might question his motives, or his relationship with her. He loved her. He simply loved her. She loved him because she knew in him she found acceptance, forgiveness, purity, and complete love, unhindered by any mistake she had made, or perception that had been formed about her. It was here, in these tender moments, I found an acceptance and unconditional love which moved my heart to sing. I realized as a little girl in that small church sensing something I couldn’t yet explain, Jesus was calling me to a life of worship. He loved me more than I could ever love him, and made the way for me to worship him. The only response I could give him was my complete abandonment, my life, my all.
ANDREA BUTSON is a passionate lover of Jesus, believing life is meant to be lived to the fullest. She has a strong heart for people, family, reformation, worship, songwriting, and story telling.
MEGAMORPHOSISMAGAZINE.COM
BY LINDA BROWN
Your Body is a Temple
he physical body is amazing. I have studied the body for 40 years and I’ve found it is complex. We have about 30-40 trillion cells in our body. Each one cell carries the complete blueprint of all of our characteristics, every single detail, even our ability to heal. Did you know that your body contains a small amount of gold? The pure gold plays a role in both the health and maintenance of the joints and is a key element in
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the transmitting of electrical signals throughout the body. “Temple tough” means to eat healthily, choose pure food, and eat together as a family. A kind, loving relationship with each other strengthens our immune system and studies have shown when we eat in a familysetting our bodies absorb more nutrients. I could go on and on about how incredible our body is, yet I would like to simply propose and challenge us with a few ideas on getting “temple
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tough.” 1. God made us. He breathed life into us, therefore the breath we have in us brings life not only to us, but it can actually bring life to others. We should know that what we speak is very important to our health and can positively or negatively affect the people around us. For instance, when we speak, our words and our tones can welcome life or they can bring harm. 2. If God commands us to take care of our temple, which is His, we
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should really pay attention to what that might look like and then move in that way. Health is not just exercise and good nutrition. While these are important and very honorable, our best health can only be had when we are in alignment and balanced with our emotions, our mind, our spirit, and our physical body. In Luke 1:4647, Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior.” The soul meaning, mind and emotion, so Mary at some level knew the depth of who she was. It is also interesting to read Genesis 2:7. God did not make a body and put a soul into it like a letter into an envelope; rather He formed man's body from the dust first, then, by breathing breath into it, he made the body of dust come to life. We are here because of him, therefore I believe we should be very aware of how we take care of our body, His temple. We are only scratching the surface of what our body carries. There is so much to how our cells work and how we are made. 3. Eating pure, exercising, engaging a renewed mind daily, knowing God and having a relationship with Him are all necessary components for optimum health. We will find that our body’s health will flourish when we follow His direction in every area of our lives. 4. Like your body. If you “bad rap” your body, and only stay focused on the physical aspects of the flesh, you are downplaying who you are and what you carry. Your body is fearfully and wonderfully made. It is important, otherwise we would not have one. What you have in your body carries eternity (Ecclesiastes 3:11). God set eternity in the heart of man—this is big—these are not just words; they are the words of God. And in them is life, the life He chose to put within us. 5. What Jesus did for us on the Cross releases what He put within us. Your temple carries what God made, what He wants to be displayed, revealed, and manifested on this
earth. By His Holy Spirit in you, you can become who He says you are. 6. Learn what intermittent fasting is, as this form of fasting can increase our metabolic rate, burn more body fat as a fuel source, help regulate blood sugar and encourage better sleep. Health is a big topic of discussion these days; there is so much information out there on how to stay well. The Bible is a powerful resource for us to understand how to have health. I have been a professional in the Health, Fitness and Wellness Industry for almost 40 years, and I have seen a lot of change, revelation, and research regarding our bodies. Each year as I observe what science “discovers” is already written, excitement bubbles up in me. God made your body to be a temple, a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. That makes you a beautiful life-giving temple. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” - 1 Corinthians 6:10-20 I am amazed God actually made our bodies to be a temple for His Holy Spirit to dwell. In our culture and in other cultures as well, we seem to emphasize the physical body, yet does our body bring glory to God? At times I am overwhelmed with the thought that God abides within my body, that He chose this as a home for His Holy Spirit to tarry. In our culture we “workout,” try to eat healthily, even wear clothing that hides the “flaws” and accentuates the “good,” yet is this all there is to taking care of our bodies? How about our emotional health? Our mindset? Our spirit? After all, these things have been proven to affect our health. Research is strong on how our emotions and mindset affect our physical state. The Health Industry, in fact, notes the body, mind and spirit as the “key” to
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wellness. Our emotions and mindset are key factors for optimum health. Did you know that stress is now the number one culprit of heart disease, diabetes, some cancers, and even depression? We all have some idea on how stress affects our body, yet if we stay in a negative state it will legitimately show up in and on our body. I know many of us have experienced this in our own self, and we can see it on others—in their face, their attitude, their body language. And we can even “sense” whether something is not right within a person when they walk into a room. God designed us to carry and bring glory wherever we go and to rule and govern our surroundings with His love, to bring Heaven to Earth. All creation was meant to respond to us, as we are the image of Him, fearfully and wonderfully made. As our body is His temple, scripture tells us we are to reflect who He is. In conclusion, honor your body as the temple of God. Yes, have sound nutrition and exercise, yet don’t stop there. Recognize and pay attention to your emotions, your mindset, your language, your thoughts, the tone of your voice. Your health shows up in and on your body, so implement discipline with regard to your lifestyle habits. It truly affects your total health. I want to encourage you to get up, push up, stand up—do something that will encourage better health. Health is for generations to come. What you do with your temple affects not only you but those all around you, generation to generation. Get “temple tough.” Seek God on how you can have your best health.
Linda Brown is a nutritionist, fitness instructor and health and wellness coach. www. completelyfit4life.com
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KAIROS: Mixed media on paper. She is the perfect image of timing being on her side. She has redeemed the time and has aligned with The Almighty to accomplish her
purpose. Art by MalvinaLaudicina.com.
ALEPH BET THE COLOR OF WISDOM: This is a pastel and mixed media combination. This painting represents the wisdom reveaedl by the Hebrew letters.
By MalvinaLaudicina.com
"We're going to have to let God out His 'religious' Christian box to become the Church. Righteousness doesn't come from doing good things, it comes from surrendering everything to the Father's will."
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