Volume 52 Issue 17

The Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Toronto Mississauga since 1974

themedium.ca

Issue 17 Volume 52 February 09, 2026

Cover Art ”Be my Reader <3” by Sehaj Wander

02

NEWS

Editor | Aaron Calpito news@themedium.ca

Comedy, music, and dance take centre stage at MHSA open mic charity Nguyen Bao Han Tran Contributor The UTM Mental Health Student Association’s open mic night showcased student performers and raised funds for CAMH.

Photo Credits: Nguyen Bao Han Tran

important as students balance academic pressures and uncertainty about the future. “Creating these moments of community helps reduce feelings of isolation, encourages open conversations about mental health, and reminds students that support and understanding exist on campus,” she wrote.

Performers use creativity as an outlet

n February 6, the Mental Health Student Associa- Student performers said the event provided a platform to O tion (MHSA) hosted a charity open mic night at the share their talents while using creativity as a way to manStudent Centre to raise funds and awareness for mental age stress. health initiatives.

The evening began with stand-up comedy, followed by a performance by student band Harmonix and a dance showcase. Food and raffles were also available, with proceeds raised primarily for the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), a leading Canadian mental health hospital and research centre.

Manvir Dhothar, president of MHSA, said the charity open mic is part of her club’s annual Mental Wellness Month initiative held at the beginning of the winter semester.

“This is the second time MHSA has hosted a charity open mic night,” Dhothar wrote in an email to The Medium. “It has become an annual event where students can express themselves creatively in a safe, supportive space while also coming together for a meaningful cause.”

According to Dhothar, the event reflects MHSA’s broader goal of creating inclusive spaces that promote mental wellness through connection and conversation. “By encouraging students to share their voices and experiences in a supportive setting, the open mic reduces stigma around mental health and strengthens community engagement,” Dhothar said. “It also aligns with MHSA’s commitment to advocacy and impact by pairing meaningful programming with fundraising for mental health initiatives.”

Organizers aimed to attract roughly 30 to 35 attendees and said they were pleased to meet that goal, creating what Dhothar described as a welcoming and lively atmosphere.

Dhothar added that events like the open mic are especially

“My best way for mental therapy is just going out and actually talking to people and communicating and being in front of a crowd,” said Atharv Mahajan, a first-year commerce student who performed stand-up comedy. “Today was very therapeutic for me.”

Mahajan said he believes events like the open mic help normalize mental health conversations, particularly among male students. “I feel it’s really important for everyone, and personally, for me, it’s really helped,” he said.

“Laughter is the best medicine, and life is a bit easier when all of you guys are stressed out together.”

Melissa Croft, a 2023 UTM alumna who played guitar at the event, said she regularly participates in open mic events and saw the night as an opportunity to combine her passion for music with charity.

“It feels like a great way that I could use my passion for music toward a good cause,” Croft said, adding that playing guitar has become a way to unwind during stressful periods. “Whenever I’m feeling stressed, playing guitar and doing music is a really great way for me to unwind.”

Attendees highlight importance of awareness Attendees said the event provided an opportunity to support peers while raising awareness about mental health.

First-year computer science student Prisha Arora attended to watch a friend perform and said events like the open mic help bring attention to mental health initiatives.

“I think it’s very important to raise money for charities related to mental health,” Arora said. “Mental health is a

topic that doesn’t get spoken about enough.”

She added that student-led initiatives play a key role in fostering dialogue and building community. “It’s only through these organizations that we get to not only raise awareness but also raise money for an important cause.”

Looking ahead Dhothar said she hopes the annual charity open mic continues in future years, even after her graduation.

“I hope students leave knowing that their voices matter and that there is space for them to be heard, supported, and understood,” she wrote.

MHSA Events Director Nimmer Hira said organizers hope students continue attending similar events as a way to unwind and connect with others on campus. “I know things can get really stressful during the school year, so honestly just relax, have fun and study too,” she said.

IEC’s Lunar New Year celebration lights up the Student Centre Natalie Ramadan Associate News Editor The International Education Centre worked alongside the Erindale Hong Kong Student Association to bring together students for Lunar New Year festivities.

Photo Credits: Calista Winsu

he International Education Centre (IEC) hosted its first Dinner and Dialogues make-a-dumpling workshop helped students. “It’s an experience T of the winter term on February 5, celebrating Lunar New Year alongside the to eat food and share some ways to fold the dumplings.”

Erindale Hong Kong Students’ Association (EHKSA). Lunar New Year celebrations will begin internationally on February 17 and ring in the Year of the Horse, signifying hard work, intelligence, and independence.

From 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., students gathered in the Student Centre Presentation Room to enjoy a Lunar New Year-themed dinner, discussions and activities. The Dinner and Dialogues is a popular recurring IEC event, centred on celebrating and building knowledge common celebrations and cultural foods for University of Illustrated

by Aprilaround Roy Toronto Mississauga (UTM) students.

In addition to the EHKSA, the IEC worked with Studio X to create and decorate the venue, transforming it with red lanterns and table decor coloured red to symbolize good fortune and good wealth. Students also received a red envelope on their table, traditionally representing good fortune, and protection from evil spirits.

The event activities began with icebreakers, followed by a make-your-own-dumpling station, and discussions about the Lunar New Year. The night ended with dinner and traditional foods. The Blind Duck catered the event, serving sweet and sour chicken, tofu, vegetarian spring rolls, fried rice, salad, green tea, and soft drinks.

Throughout Dinner and Dialogues, attendees and staff shared insights and their thoughts on the event in interviews with The Medium.

One attendee, first-year commerce student Bernice Lam, explained, “Making dumplings is fun, it’s a really good experience to learn about.” She shared that the

The IEC hosts monthly Dinner and Dialogue events alongside student clubs to engage not only students interested in cultural foods and traditions but also to celebrate student leaders and groups.

The IEC Supervisor of Intercultural Fluency and International Student Development, Kay Kim, established the importance of working alongside student groups for Dinner and Dialogue events. “They are the experts of that lived culture, we don’t want to misrepresent it in any kind of way.

We also want to give our student groups more opportunities for leadership and more opportunities for visibility.”

Manal Hussain, Manahil Hissam, Ng’ang’a Gitau, and Farhada Khaled, IEC programming and events assistants, also corroborated this sentiment in separate interviews.

Kim also highlighted the importance of naming the event Lunar New Year. “It’s not controversial to say Chinese New Year, it is one of the many celebrations within Lunar culture… it’s a good opportunity for us to start another fun conversation about how shared and common [Lunar New Year] is.”

In an interview with The Medium, IEC Programming and Events Assistant Vera Allue shared that the next Dinner and Dialogue will take place on February 26.

This event will feature a Caribbean Carnival in collaboration with the UTM Caribbean Connections club. Students are welcome to register online via Folio for a fee of C$5.

03

Students’ Union to host slate of events for Black History Month

pants to explore creativity and cultural expression through guided art-making, emphasizing culture as a vital form of knowledge and resistance.

Prekshaa Surana Associate News Editor

The series also creates space for conversations around intimacy and identity. Love, Sex and Relationships, a discussion and workshop on February 12, will shed light on Black perspectives in conversations around relationships and personal wellbeing. The UTMSU will co-host the event with Caribbean Connections in the Instructional Centre.

The UTMSU will host Enduring Brilliance on February 25 at 5 p.m. in the Student Centre Presentation Room. Hosted in collaboration with the Black Students’ Association (BSA), Black in STEM, and Caribbean Connections, the event will highlight Black excellence in academic spaces and meaningful conversations with professors and teaching assistants about how resistance and persistence have been shaped by knowledge.

On February 27, the UTMSU will host Carved in Time, a Somali Daboqaad clay workshop scheduled for 11 a.m. in the UTMSU Student Centre Board Room, in collaboration with Studio X. The event will explore cultural preservation through traditional art practices.

Behind-the-scenes insights UTMSU Vice President Equity Miatah McCallum shared with The Medium that this year’s BHM programming was shaped by both reflection and continuity. Having worked on BHM initiatives for several years, McCallum said her approach this year involved acknowledging the work of previous administrations while building programming that feels intentional and forward-looking.

Illustrated by Melody Zhou Much of the UTMSU’s programming throughout February centres on Black history, creativity, and community.

T

hroughout February, the University of Toronto Mississauga Students’ Union (UTMSU) will host a series of events to recognize Black History Month (BHM). This offered students opportunities for celebration, acknowledgement, reflection and dialogue.

The programming began on February 2 with Echoes Through Time, an opening ceremony at The Blind Duck. The event set the tone for the month by centring Black history as a continuous and evolving narrative, foregrounding themes of recognition, memory, and continuity.

The series continued on February 4, with Breaking Barriers, a student success panel in the William G. Davis Building, which the UTMSU hosted in collaboration with Black Future Lawyers. The event focused on navigating academic and professional pathways, highlighting the structural barriers black students continue to face and the strategies used to overcome them.

Creative expression took centre stage the following evening at Timeless Voices, an open mic night at The Blind Duck, where students engaged with black history through spoken word, storytelling, and performances. The event was a collaboration with the Black Literature and Arts Club.

On February 11, the UTMSU and the African Students Association will host Calabash Paint & Sip, a hands-on workshop at the Student Centre. The event encourages partici-

The theme “Timeless,” she explained, reflects how black history exists across generations as both memory and movement, rooted in the past while actively shaping the present and future.

McCallum emphasized that much of the work for February has been a long time coming. Planning for BHM started at the beginning of her term, with several months dedicated to coordination and decision-making. She noted that many of the smaller details, from event concepts to partnerships, were the result of long-term preparation. “Intentionality is something the UTMSU always aims to have,” McCallum said, adding that they didn’t approach BHM as a symbolic gesture, but as sustained work meant to leave a lasting impression.

To ensure Black student voices remained central, the UTMSU established a committee of executives from black student groups on campus in the fall. These groups proposed events, helped with decision-making, and received support through funding and promotion. McCallum also highlighted volunteer involvement in shaping event details such as décor and food, as well as the role of UTMSU equity staff who had experience working with black student communities.

Reflecting on the broader impact of BHM, McCallum acknowledged that it can sometimes feel like a temporary moment rather than a sustained movement. She said her goal was to create experiences that students could carry with them beyond February, emphasizing connection, joy, and shared memory. For McCallum, the responsibility of the role extends beyond visibility or recognition. She described BHM as part of a broader commitment to accountability, care, and ongoing support for Black and racialized communities on campus, well beyond the month itself.

The month will conclude with Young, Gifted, & Black, a closing ceremony gala scheduled for 9 p.m. at the Panemonte Banquet and Convention Centre. Hosted in collaboration with the University of Toronto St. George and Scarborough BSAs, the gala will centre black identity, achievement, and future-facing possibility.

Students de-stress with kitten therapy “This is the first time our club has done an event involving animals. It’s a very stressful time during the semester right now, so we wanted there to be a space for students to de-stress, take their mind off their studies, and I think [engaging in animal-assisted experiences] is a simple and comforting way to do that. I think it really helped students to relax and de-stress, and we heard a lot of students today… express that the ten minutes really helped… take away their stress and helped their mental health.”

Laila Alkelani Associate News Editor The Mental Health Student Association hosted its firstever kitten therapy event, offering students a unique and accessible way to de-stress during midterms.

O

n February 6, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., the Mental Health Student Association (MHSA), in collaboration with the Men’s Wellness Group (MWG) and Sending Sunshine, hosted a Kitten Therapy event at the Student Centre.

Students sat on yoga mats as kittens wandered around the room. While some students cuddled with them, others engaged them with cat toys. The kittens, energetic and curious, ran across the mats and playfully jumped to make students laugh.

MHSA President Manvir Dhothar spoke with The Medium about her club and the rationale behind the event.

“I’m really passionate about the club because I think [mental health] is something that… university students… struggle with, and it’s very stigmatized. That’s something that [our club] often talks about,” she said.

“We really wanted to think of something different that would attract a lot of students, and also something to accommodate those who don’t feel comfortable around

Photo Credits: Ayesha Wahab dogs,” Dhothar explained, referencing dog therapy and puppy yoga events that have happened on campus. “I think having an event with animals… really helps those who can’t use other resources to help them de-stress,” she added.

According to Dhothar, the event exceeded expectations, and attendees expressed great enthusiasm on the MHSA’s Instagram page. “There was a positive turnout at the event, with 63 attendees and 120 students on the waitlist,” she said.

“We got so many DMs saying we should do it again. It is definitely something that students loved, and I want to see it happen more often on campus,” she added.

Dhothar said that Kitten Therapy “was actually part of our Mental Wellness Month Initiative. That is four weeks of a lot of programming.” She added, “we have 10 events before Reading Week that we have done and are still doing next week. We have two for sure happening next week.”

Dhothar announced that the “MHSA will be hosting a de-stressor activity for a drop-in session at the Health and Counselling Centre Wellness Den on Feb 10” from 10 to 11 a.m., as well as a “rose sale and photo booth on Feb 13th for Valentine’s Day,” from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. in the William G. Davis Building.

“Although I’m graduating, I hope Kitten Therapy becomes an annual event that the MHSA hosts,” said Dhothar.

Students who missed Kitten Therapy or would like to attend a similar event should visit the MHSA’s Instagram page to stay informed.

04 OPINION

Editor | Yasmine Benabderrahmane opinion@themedium.ca

Who gets to love, publicly?

Nguyen Bao Han Tran Contributor Valentine’s Day and its limits of inclusion.

V

alentine’s Day is often framed as a universal celebration of love. Each year, it arrives with familiar imagery: pink storefronts, romantic promotions, and social media posts that suggest love is something easily shared and widely accepted. Yet this version of Valentine’s Day tells only part of the story. A problem with the holiday is that it promotes a narrow idea of what love should look like, heterosexual, monogamous, public, and socially approved, while quietly excluding those who do not fit that mold.

This exclusion is not accidental. Valentine’s Day reflects broader social norms that continue to privilege certain relationships over others. It rewards visibility when that visibility aligns with dominant expectations and marginalizes forms of love that challenge them.

For queer people, the holiday can feel less like a celebration and more like a reminder of whose relationships are still questioned, policed, or ignored.

On university campuses, this tension is particularly visible. While institutions often emphasize diversity and inclusion, the social rituals surrounding Valentine’s Day rarely reflect that commitment in practice. Straight couples are encouraged to celebrate openly, through public gestures and online displays. However, queer students may still navigate concerns about safety, family expectations, cultural pressures, or discrimination. For many, expressing love publicly is not simply a choice, it is a risk assessment.

Valentine’s Day reinforces the idea that love must be visible to be valid. Social media plays a major role in this, turning relationships into performances and equating public recognition with legitimacy. Students who are single, closeted, questioning, or in “nontraditional” relationships, are often pushed to the margins of a holiday that claims to celebrate everyone.

These dynamics are inseparable from broader systems of inequality. The policing of queer love exists alongside racism, xenophobia, and other forms of exclusion that determine who feels safe and accepted in public spaces. When society decides which kinds of love are acceptable, it reinforces divisions based on sexuality, gender, race, and culture.

This raises an important question: why does love, something so fundamentally human, remain so conditional?

At the most basic level, the desire for connection and belonging is universal. Yet, again and again, societies choose division over coexistence. Valentine’s Day does little to challenge this pattern. Instead, it often reinforces it by celebrating a commercialized and sanitized version of love that leaves little room for difference.

Queer communities have long understood love differently. In the face of exclusion, queer people have built chosen families, redefined intimacy, and created forms of care that prioritize honesty and mutual support over tradition. These expressions of love are not deviations from the norm; they are responses to a world that has historically denied queer people recognition and safety. Valentine’s Day rarely acknowledges this history, preferring instead to uphold an idealized vision of romance detached from lived realities.

Asking whether Valentine’s Day is queer-friendly misses the larger issue. The more pressing question is why inclusion must be negotiated at all. Reclaiming Valentine’s Day does not require conforming to its expectations. It requires rejecting the idea that love must be validated through public performance, consumption, or social approval. For some queer people, reclaiming the holiday may mean celebrating privately or quietly. For others, it may involve visible affirmation or intentional refusal to participate. Both are legitimate

Illustrated by Sehajleen Wander forms of agency.

This conversation also extends beyond Valentine’s Day. It speaks to a broader longing for a more harmonious world, one where people are not judged or excluded for who they are or whom they love. In a society that continues to normalize racism, homophobia, and fear of difference, love becomes political by default.

Recently, Bad Bunny used his Grammy Award acceptance speech to state that “the only thing that is more powerful than hate is love.” While this sentiment is often dismissed as simplistic, this statement carries real weight. If love is truly more powerful than hate, then it cannot be selective. It must be extended to everyone, without conditions or exceptions.

Valentine’s Day, as it currently exists, falls short of this ideal. But it also offers an opportunity for reflection. A more inclusive understanding of love would recognize plurality rather than enforce conformity. It would affirm that love does not need to look the same to be meaningful, and that no one should have to justify their right to love openly and safely.

Until then, queer people and all those pushed to the margins will continue to create their own spaces of belonging. In doing so, they remind us that love does not require permission. In a world shaped by division, choosing love rooted in Photo solidarity rather thanZhou excluCredits: Melody sion remains a powerful act.

Marrying young in a world urging people to wait so early on in your life. But, what about all the other risks that twenty year-olds have to take that dictate their lives?

The chances of getting married in your thirties, forties, and fifties significantly decrease as the pool of available partners becomes smaller. Spending your early twenties focused on making money, going on solo trips, and prioritizing one night stands, rather than building a connection with your future spouse is not worth the risk and one that I would certainly lose sleep over.

Tyler Medeiros Sports and Health Editor Don’t let the world dictate if you’re ever ready for marriage.

M

arriage is often thought of as a commitment between two people who have their lives all figured out. They have steady full time jobs, thousands of dollars in savings, a place away from their parents they call home, and an understanding of everything there is to know about the other. Unless you are part of the small minority that has accomplished all of these impressive milestones in your twenties, the world seems to believe that you are not quite ready for marriage.

It’s reasonable to have a plan for the future. An idea of who you want to be and the kind of life you’d like to live.

But wouldn’t you rather do that with the love of your life by your side?

Benefits of young marriages

But is that truly the case?

Whenever the word marriage is brought up in discussion within my circles, it is usually followed shortly after with the word “wait.” Wait until you know what you want to do with your life; wait until you are sure this is what you want.

Illustrated by Melody Zhou Many people see it as risky to make a lifelong commitment

Human beings are social creatures. We were created to interact with each other and share our unique experiences. Getting married in your early twenties means getting to share milestone moments like graduations, promotions, birthdays, and other holidays with the person you love. Spending yearly holidays with a romantic partner helps create family traditions that can be passed down

05 through generations. The increased time younger married couples have creates life long memories and stories to tell.

Don’t just take my word for it. Studies have shown that getting married young has a multitude of benefits. Navigating the worldwide cost of living crisis becomes a lot easier to manage with two people contributing to daily essentials such as food, clothing, rent, and other payments. Married couples also have access to tax breaks in Canada which alleviate stringent financial living situations.

Research also suggests that couples who tie the knot between the ages of 22-25 are more likely to experience high quality, lifelong marriages. This “high quality” marriage is the result of less emotional baggage, increased likelihood to adjust habits to align with your partner, and more time to learn your partner’s love language.

Never a perfect time Despite all the advantages of getting married sooner, it’s im-

portant not to get carried away. It probably isn’t the wisest decision to get married simply because you’re young and in love.

Forming a bond with your partner and having the necessary discussions about the future in order to feel optimistic about your marriage ahead, is important.

MASTHEAD

But, trying and waiting for the right moment or the perfect opportunity, is also dangerous. Life isn’t perfect. Humans aren’t perfect. We’ll always look for a better circumstance—more money, a better lifestyle, a more stable income—and it can often overshadow spending more time with those you love. That extra time can be achieved by marrying young and building a family before the world says you’re ready.

Co-Editor-in-Chief Aya Yafaoui editor@themedium.ca

Marriage is about showing up for someone everyday. Serving your better half with love and respect regardless of what the world throws at the two of you. Age is just a number. It’s the experience, attitude, commitment, and determination to create a healthy long-lasting marriage that counts. Don’t let the world dictate if you’re ever ready for marriage.

Lost in Translation: Terms of Endearment Nguyen Bao Han Tran Contributor

Michaela Dimitrov Contributor

from my mom.

Love is a universal language. But, what does it sound like across the globe? Whilst love is in the air, here are three terms of endearment across three different languages and cultures.

Nguyen Bao Han Tran: In Vietnamese, love comes with caution.

Camille Dornellas: In Brazilian Portuguese, love is a carnaval.

I

Brazil is known for its heat, beaches, and festivity. And of course, as a Brazilian, I love all of that. However, whenever someone asks me what I miss the most about my country I always say the language. Brazilian Portuguese reflects my people and our personality—it’s colourful, vivid, and raw.

Our words of endearment follow the same line; we express our intensity through them.

n Vietnamese, love is rarely loud.

There is no casual “ I love you,” no easy phrase tossed at the end of phone calls. Instead, we have thương, a word that sits between care, devotion, and quiet responsibility. It doesn’t sparkle. It doesn’t flirt. It stays.

Growing up, I rarely heard the word yêu–the direct translation for love. My mother never said it. Instead, she said, Mẹ thương con. At the time, I didn’t recognize it as affection. Only later did I realize that thương carried something heavier than romance: commitment without performance.

In English, love often arrives early and loudly. We say it to partners after weeks, sometimes days, of dating. It can be dramatic and impulsive. In Vietnamese, love comes with caution. Saying thương implies endurance, that you will stay even when things become inconvenient.

That’s why romance in my mother tongue doesn’t make me cringe. It makes me pause.

Vietnamese affection isn’t built on grand gestures or poetic declarations. It appears in questions like “did you eat?” or reminders to bring a jacket. It lives in concern, not confession. To outsiders, this may seem emotionally distant. To those who grew up within it, it is very intimate.

When someone says anh thương em or em thươnganh, it isn’t flirtation. It is a promise, one that cannot be taken back easily.

Maybe that’s what makes Vietnamese love uncomfortable in a modern world obsessed with speed. It asks us to slow down. To mean what we say. To love not loudly, but faithfully.

Michaela Dimitrov: In Russian, love is familiar.

My mother tongue is Russian. It’s the language I was raised with, for my mom, who is Ukrainian, spoke it to me.

My mother often referred to me by cute terms of endearment. Although many exist in Russian, my favourites were always Солнышко (pronounced solnyshko), meaning sunshine or little sun, and Зайка (pronounced zayka), meaning bunny.

Adding a “chick” sound at the end of the words—similar to adding “y” in English to prettify words—was perfect for a young child. Although I never use these terms when referring to anyone else, they warm my heart when it comes

Co-Editor-in-Chief Samuel Kamalendran managing@themedium.ca News Aaron Calpito news@themedium.ca Opinion Yasmine Benabderrahmane opinion@themedium.ca

Romance doesn’t make me cringe in my mother tongue.

But, it feels different than it would in English. In Russian, it feels familiar whenever terms of love or romance are involved. It feels like the type of love between family members rather than a romantic love. When seeing a movie in Russian with romance, the love between characters seems pure, like family. In English, romance feels stronger, hitting the soul instead.

Camille Dornellas Contributor

EDITORIAL BOARD

Terms of love and endearment are abundant in my mother tongue: words like vida (life), paixão (passion), anjo (angel), amor, mozi, mô, mozão, mozinho (which are all versions for the word love).

But, out of all the different ways we have to call someone we are fond of, meu bem is my favorite. This expression is not reserved only for romantic relationships and, although it is popular among couples, elders often use it to speak with children or those younger than them.

Bem, meaning good, is a word full of positivity. Meu, translates to my, is possessive. The expression doesn’t have an exact equivalent in English, but in its essence, meu bem is referring to one as your wellbeing, a reference to something that fulfills you with contentment, joy and love. Someone that holds great value to you and makes your life better.

Someone that is yours.

Features Gisele Tang features@themedium.ca A&E Yusuf Larizza-Ali arts@themedium.ca Sports Tyler Medeiros sports@themedium.ca Photo Melody Zhou photos@themedium.ca Design Sehajleen Wander design@themedium.ca Social Media Jannine Uy social@themedium.ca Outreach Mashiyat Ahmed outreach@themedium.ca Copy May Alsaigh may@themedium.ca Anaam Khan anaam@themedium.ca

Brazilian Portuguese words are rich. They are capable of squeezing meaning out of life. It can make a heart bleed of truths that are often impossible to carry in a second language.

When I express my love for others in my native language it feels like a greater deal and, most times, embarrassing. The words have a deeper weight to me. They’re harder to carry from my gut to my mouth. My language is the personification of the passion my people are known for. It’s, in other words, a spoken version of a carnaval.

TO CONTRIBUTE & CONNECT:

themedium.ca/contact Illustrated

by Nibras Tanveer

@themediumUTM @themediumUTM @themessageUTM

06

Loving in secret Rhys Padfield Contribut0r Generational views of romance can be a barrier to us all.

Growing up, my parents’ views regarding relationships were puzzling to me. noticed their seemingly judgemental ideas surrounding romance when I was Ihadfirst twelve-years-old. During the summer break, my fourteen-year-old brother, Dylan, routinely been going on “walks” for hours at a time. My mother suspected that this was a cover for his real operation: visiting a girl that he had recently become close with, named Lily.

One afternoon, my mother asked me to follow Dylan from a distance on one of his excursions, and offered me a $5 reward for this. I found this amusing at the time—and profitable—so sure enough, I tailed after him all the way to an apartment building where he went inside with Lily. I reported this back to my mother, and she held an intervention with my brother, stating that he was too young for relationships.

In addition to my mother’s hostile reaction towards love, I was influenced by my father, who all but ignored it. He never opted to comment on my brother’s relationship, or hold any conversation regarding romance.

As a preteen boy, I found my parents’ regard to romance very contradictory to the media I was consuming. I could recall various examples of young teenagers engaging in relationships, like Mike and Eleven in Stranger Things, or Greg Heffley’s courtship of Holly Hills in A Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Not to mention, my friends, who, too, were in relationships at the time.

My parents’ dismissive attitude towards young romance made me feel estranged from my peers and it seemed like nobody else lived in a household where “love” was taboo.

Once it became time for me to engage in relationships, I realized it was more convenient to keep my romantic encounters private from my parents.

For most of high school, I would disguise my dates with girls as hangouts with male friends that my parents were already familiar with. As for relationships with other boys, I would introduce my male partners with my parents as my “friends.” While my parents never expressed direct homophobia, it seemed like I would be unable to discuss sexuality openly with my family, especially considering their reaction to my brother’s relationship.

However convenient, keeping this side of my life hidden from the knowledge of my parents was difficult. Keeping partners a secret can hinder the quality of the relationship, as well as lower one’s self-esteem and heighten stress levels. These implications took their toll on me, and at the age of 16, when I decided to reveal to my parents that I had been dating a girl for a few months. The announcement was not met with as much pushback as I expected. My father, a stoic, workaholic man, barely even acknowledged it. My mother reacted positively, but expressed frustration at the fact that I hadn’t told her before.

Since then, I have been more open with my parents regarding relationships. My father still has not referred to my current long-term partner as my girlfriend, despite us dating for over a year. My mother, despite me and my girlfriend both being adults, still enforces strict boundaries on my relationship. When sleeping over at my girlfriend’s house, my mother falsely believes that I am sleeping in her basement, because she does not condone us sleeping in the same room.

When considering why my parents are so dismissive of young love, I often settle on the fact that they were simply brought up in a different environment, and romance has

Illustrated by Fabiha Ruthmila changed a lot. Throughout modern history, relationships and love have proven to be constantly developing facets of human interaction. From the eras of courtship in the 18th century, to the modern concept of dating apps, the ways people fall in love have changed drastically. Our parent’s generation who grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, see relationships differently. However, this was also a time when advancements were made in the acceptance of sexuality.

The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s and 1970s was a broad social movement that aimed to establish more open feelings around sexuality, causing major changes to opinions around relationships. This movement was begun by second-wave feminists who believed that common conceptions around marriage and relationships solely benefited men, like the notion that single men could have sexual relationships, but single women could not. This was typically seen as a positive thing, but many communities and groups did not support this movement.

Including sexuality, many other topics often experience scrutiny from older generations. This includes forms of personal expression, like dyed hair, tattoos, and piercings, or digital technology. Cultural differences are often the cause of this generational friction, and modern conditions of romance are very different from those which our parents grew up in.

My experiences with my parents’ feelings around love are surely not unique. Many of those around me now have experienced the awkwardness, dismissal, and even hostility that comes with our parents’ generation having views on young love. Due to these generational differences, taboo feelings and uncomfortable conversations about relationships with our parents are often inescapable.

But, it is important to try to avoid internalizing these feelings. Disdain for young relationships is not only harmful towards our own self-esteem, but carrying these views into parenthood, when the time comes, can harm our children, too. We must break the cycle.

Celebrating love between young people is important, and we must ensure that however different it may be in the future, we continue to embrace it.

You’re more than a partner Next thing you know, their social media has turned into a couple’s album and they’re suspiciously disappearing from the group. They stop showing up, stop having their own opinions, stop being the person you knew them to be. How did your friend, once your partner-in-crime, suddenly become half of a two-for-one deal?

Sahrish Mirza Contributor

Recently, the internet seems to be asking a different version of the same question: when did getting a partner equate to losing your identity?

Illustrated by April Roy

Why do we let romance take the centre stage in our lives?

I

t’s Friday night and you text your friend: Hey, let’s hang out!

A few minutes later, you’re met with a response you’re all too familiar with, one that they seem to be giving a lot lately: Sorry, can’t—I’m seeing my partner tonight.

Which is fine. Except they were seeing their partner last Friday. And Wednesday. And, if their Instagram story is anything to go by, every day in between, too.

It’s not just your group chat. Across social media, people have been wondering what happens when a friend enters a relationship and seemingly exits everything else. Chanté Joseph’s Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?, published in Vogue, pushed the conversation into the mainstream, tapping into a growing discomfort with how quickly modern dating can turn into personal rebranding. Somewhere between the soft launches and shared Spotify playlists, the line between gaining a partner and losing a friend starts to blur. The article points to a shifting attitude among Gen Z—centering your identity around your partner is no longer automatically seen as romantic, and sometimes just looks like a loss of self…or is plain uncool.

But why does this happen? Why do we make our romantic partners the centre of our orbit and what makes the rest of our identity so easy to abandon in the process?

Part of the answer lies in how we’re taught to view ro-

mance.

Society, culture, the media. Everything around us frames romance as the “pinnacle” of human life. We’re made to believe that achieving a romantic relationship is our ultimate goal, like a final level to unlock.

We grow up with movies that always end with the couple getting together, blanketing the rest of the story in a “happily ever after.” Being single is framed as a sad, almost defective transition state where you’re either implicitly or explicitly burdened by societal expectations of a future relationship. Holidays like Valentine’s Day, weddings, and anniversaries, celebrate couples, while very few are dedicated to any other type of relationship. On National Boyfriend or Girlfriend Day, social media is flooded with posts of our mutuals’ significant others, while on Best Friends’ Day, significantly fewer posts are seen—not to mention that some assume the holiday to be a coping mechanism for people not in relationships.

As a society, we centralize romance, treating it as our life’s purpose while the rest ends up as a pastime or a means to an end. Since we see romantic relationships as so integral to who we are, it’s not a surprise that many of us end up molding our identity to our partners.

But it’s not just that we’re taught to value romantic relationships; getting into one can feel like a feat in itself.

Once we finally reach this “pinnacle,” it’s hard not to treat it like a trophy.

07 Relationships require vulnerability, risk, and are a huge time investment. Finding someone who you like, has chemistry with you, and shares your values can be difficult on its own—getting them to like you back, go out with you, and sustain that relationship with you can feel almost impossible.

So when it finally does happen, that relationship feels special and almost like a reward. We end up putting it on a pedestal and relentlessly devoting ourselves to it.

When something feels hard-won, we treat it like proof of success. A relationship can start to feel less like a connection and more like a personal milestone—evidence that we are lovable, desirable, and finally chosen. And once something becomes proof of worth, we feel an urge to prioritize it and to flaunt it, causing us to highlight our relationships and turn them into an almost all-consuming part of who we are.

Even when a relationship isn’t new or hardearned, it can still feel precarious. There’s an unspoken pressure to constantly nurture it, to be present and attentive at all times—or risk losing it. That pressure can make a romantic partner become the centre of our world, slowly crowding our own hobbies, friendships, and even opinions.

Online, people note that it’s common for people to lose themselves in relationships, especially when they equate their worth with being loved or needed. We feel such a strong desire to please our loved ones and spend as much of our time as we can with them, which can overshadow other aspects of our life.

The desire to preserve what feels precious can turn into an all-consuming focus, where our identity starts to blur with our partner’s. That’s why your friend, once the life of the group chat, might now vanish into shared playlists and coordinated Instagram posts. They’re not intention-

ally abandoning you, but their relationship has quietly become the axis around which their life spins.

Putting romantic relationships on a pedestal shapes our identity and can gradually starve our other relationships. Friends get fewer texts, hobbies fall by the wayside, and even our own passions can feel secondary to the people we’re dating.

But love doesn’t have to demand self-erasure.

Deep, meaningful connections can co-exist with a rich, full life—one where friendships, personal growth, and solo joy still matter. We can celebrate romance without letting it become the definition of who we are.

After all, the strongest relationships are built on two people coming together to share a life, not two halves forming a whole.

Are friendship break-ups worse? discuss the terms of their parting, deciding whether they want to stay acquaintances or cut contact entirely. But, close friendships, especially long-term, can feel permanent. Our friends are the people that go through life’s ups and downs by our side. They see versions of us that exist before the world’s expectations constrain our true personalities.

Maryam Raheel Associate Opinion Editor

As we grow older, friendships form differently than they did when we were children. We’re no longer kids on the playground asking to befriend one another. Adult friendships are built through unspoken agreements. We increasingly dedicate more of our time to seeing one another and one day, you hear the other person refer to you as their friend without realizing it.

Illustrated by April Roy Why friendship breakups are rarely acknowledged and how they impact us e talk about romantic breakups constantly. They W dominate movie scripts, fill our playlists, and become the topic of late night ramblings with friends. Society has provided us with a formula for coping with the heartbreak we expect to feel once a romantic relationship reaches its end. It usually involves leaning on friends and family, finding comfort in their presence and tubs of ice cream. That familiar comfort becomes complicated when the heartbreak is caused by the friendship itself.

Friendship breakups can be a disorienting moment. Suddenly, the person who knew everything about you, and who you knew just as well, has disappeared from your life. In many ways, the loss can hurt more than a romantic heartbreak.

In most romantic relationships, there’s a subconscious understanding that the relationship may not last forever.

When it does end, there’s usually some form of conversation that ensues the decision to break-up. Couples can

Just as these friendships begin with this unspoken agreement, their ends meet a similar fate. Whether there’s a dramatic betrayal, or more commonly, a quiet and gradual distance that grows as time passes, friendship breakups rarely give us the chance to get closure. There’s no final conversation about what went wrong and instead, the relationship simply fades.

The unexpected nature of friendship breakups leaves us unsure of how to cope. The person who would have brought us tubs of ice cream to cry over heartbreak is suddenly the source of it. Unlike romantic breakups, there are no established social norms for how to handle the loss. We aren’t always met with sympathy and there’s no exact moment where we’re “allowed” to grieve.

There’s an unspoken expectation that this experience is something we are supposed to simply get over by ourselves.

Friendship breakups are especially difficult during major life transitions. The move from high school to university often forces us to part ways with people we considered our closest friends. My best friend from middle school and I grew apart during this time. There was no dramatic falling out or explosive argument that we could place the blame on. It was a slow erosion that started with missed calls, unanswered texts, and the eventual resentment from unequal effort to keep the relationship alive.

FEATURES

Losing that friendship felt like losing a part of myself.

How to find your one true love using mathematics

The memories tied to our relationship were left collecting dust in the crevices of my mind. I lost not only a friend, but the person I was when I was with them.

When friendships end, we tend to blame ourselves, as if it was an error on our part that we couldn’t maintain the relationship. I questioned whether I had been a good friend to others, or whether there was a mistake I made that caused the distance. Unlike romantic breakups where people encourage healing and self-care, my grief over a friendship was seen as trivial.

Part of why friendship breakups feel so isolating is because we rarely feel that the loss should be taken seriously. This immediate dismissal of hurt is even more prominent in certain cultural contexts.

Growing up in a South Asian family, I was always told to prioritize family and that friendships were temporary or transactional relationships. As a little girl, I would come home eager to tell my family about the new friends I’d made at school. My mother would listen, then warn me to keep everyone at arm’s length in case those friends became competitors or enemies. With no space to mourn the end of a friendship, the loss felt even more lonely.

The reality is that people change. Our values, priorities, and boundaries evolve with time and they lead us to different paths. Accepting this takes time and it might not make the loss hurt any less. But it gives the chance to reframe how we think about friendship breakups. The end of a friendship doesn’t always signal personal failures, just that the paths of two people no longer align.

This doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in a few tubs of ice cream to grieve. Dismissing friendships as insignificant denies us the ability to heal from relationships that shaped who we are. Old friends exist in chapters of our lives that present-day friends will never see.

We talk about romantic breakups endlessly. Yet friendships don’t get the same attention. Their absence lingers in ways playlists fail to capture and movies don’t show enough. It’s time to give friendship breakups the same space and language we save for romance, because that heartbreak can hurt even more.

Editor | Gisele Tang features@themedium.ca

E

very cisgender man in the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) has around 68 potential cisgender female dating partners on campus, while every cisgender woman has 54 potential cisgender dating partners. How do I know this?

I used a trick called Fermi estimation to break down the question of “how many potential partners can a cisgender UTM student have” into tinier estimates. The errors in rounding up or down for each estimate cancel each other out, resulting in a fairly close estimate to the actual result.

Madhav Ajayamohan Contributor

This technique has been used to estimate the number of intelligent lifeforms in the universe. Mathematician Peter Brackus also used it to calculate how many potential partners he could have in his paper “Why I don’t have a girlfriend?” We will use British mathematician Hannah Fry’s take on Brakus’s method in her book Love and Mathematics.

A guide on using mathematics in our romantic lives.

We start by calculating the number of students at UTM. Based on this source, there are

08 there are about 17,000 students, with 50 per cent identifying as female, 40 per cent as male, and 10 per cent as other identity groups.

chance to get the best candidate stays the same. It’s particularly effective the higher N becomes.

We also need to consider the likelihood that the other person would find us attractive, that we would find them attractive, and how well we would get along. For simplicity, let’s assume there is a 20 per cent chance for each.

But in the dating world, N actually won’t increase that much. In fact, most people will only date two to three partners— within this range, the 37 per cent rule isn’t useful.

However, with one small change, we can still make it applicable to love.

Using these tinier estimates we can come up with a formula for total number of partners: (number of students in UTM) * (percentage of students that are the opposite gender) * (percentage of students that we find attractive) * (percentage of students that find us attractive) * (percentage of students we get along with).

Rather than applying optimal stopping over the number of potential partners, we can apply it to the time over which we search for partners. In Algorithms to Live By, we can see Michael Trick, now Senior Associate Dean of Operations Research at Carnegie Mellon, utilized this method as a graduate student to see when he should marry someone.

Hence there are 17,000 * 0.5 * 0.2 * 0.2 * 0.2 = 68 potential female partners for cis-gendered men (we multiply all the probability estimates together with the total UTM population), and 17000 * 0.4 * 0.2 * 0.2 * 0.2 = 54 potential male for cis-gendered women.

Assuming he would search for someone to marry from the age of 21 to 40, by the 37 per cent rule, after the age of 26, Trick should marry the next person who is a better match for him than all the people he dated before. In fact, he found someone like that and proposed on the spot. He got rejected.

These values can change depending on other factors like how large your search pool is—beyond UTM or more within—or your flexibility in dating other genders.

This is one way of using mathematics to answer the questions of love. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, let’s look at the different takeaways and approaches to love that math gives us.

When do you find your One True Love?

The media has hopelessly romanticized the concept of one true love (OTL). At the same time, most of us have been disillusioned by the idea of love at first sight. So the question is—how many “sights” does it take to find your OTL? The definitive, mathematical answer is 37 per cent.

This number comes from the “optimal stopping” problem.

Let’s say you have to decide to date one person from a total of N people. You can only see one person at a time, and once you reject someone, you can’t choose them again. So, how do you choose the best partner out of all N partners?

The optimal mathematical solution is explained in Algorithms to Live By, by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths: for the first 37 per cent of candidates, simply observe each candidate, and don’t pick any of them. Then, as you go through the remaining candidates, choose the first one who was better than the initial 37 per cent of candidates you observed.

By following this algorithm, you have a 37 per cent chance of getting the best partner. This might seem low, but think about approaching this with no algorithm and choosing a partner at random. You would only have a 1/N chance to get the best option. As N increases, your opportunity to get the best match dwindles. However, by following the “look then leap” approach, even if N increases, your

The optimal stopping problem we’ve discussed thus far doesn’t consider how our partner of interest can reject our proposal. If you recalculate the math with the possibility of rejection, you find that the new optimal place to stop observing is 25 per cent. After meeting the first quarter of potential partners, you should choose the next best person. This will give you a 25 per cent chance to meet our OTL, which is still better than going in blind.

How do you win in a confession?

How do you know when the right time to confess is? This is a question that frequently occupies the mind of lovestruck young adults. There are even anime that revolve around this question; the most notable example is Kaguya-sama: Love is War, where the two protagonists try to “win” at a confession by making the other person confess to them first.

While each situation is different, mathematics does offer an answer in how to reach the most successful outcome possible in a confession through the stable marriage problem.

Let’s say we have two sets of M men and women. Each man has a list of rankings for every woman in terms of what he likes about her as a romantic partner. Similarly, each woman has a list of rankings for every man. The stable marriage problem asks us to pair all men and women together in a way such that no man or woman wants to switch their partners. In the context of the problem, a man or woman would only want to switch partners to someone who ranks higher on their personal ranking scale— and only if that someone prefers them over his/her own partner.

Illustrated by Melody Zhou The optimal solution to this problem exists, and it is called the Gale-Shapely algorithm. The algorithm works like this: make one group the proposers, and the other group the receivers. To break cliché, let’s have the group of women propose.

Every woman proposes to their top male preference.

Then, each man who got a proposal tentatively accepts their best female proposal. The women who got rejected propose to their second choices, and the men select their new best female proposal. This process continues until all people are matched up.

In the end, no one will want to switch their partners. No woman will want to switch their male partners, because they were already rejected by all the men higher on their list. No man will want to switch because they have already accepted the best proposal they received.

The Gale-Shapley algorithm reveals something else: the proposers are better off than the receivers. In the case above, each woman gets the best partner they possibly can, while the men have to make do with the best offer they received.

So, Kaguya-sama is definitely wrong—people who wait to get a proposal are the ones more likely to lose. If you want to be in the best possible relationship for yourself, then you have to seize the day and confess—the only possible way to win.

Mathematics is an excellent way to make sense of human behaviour. This article is only a tip of the iceberg on how to view love and humans with math. If you enjoy this kind of thinking, I suggest reading Love and Mathematics by Hannah Fry. If you want to go beyond love and look at math in daily life, then Algorithms to Live By would be the best choice for you.

What to do when you’re bored on Valentine’s Day Prekshaa Surana Associate News Editor

Michaela Dimitrov Contributor

Audrey Thilloy Contributor Whether you’re planning to spend February 14 with your partner, your friends, your family, or yourself, this is the perfect guide for you.

Treat yourself with an extraordinary ordinary day Prekshaa Surana, Associate News Editor alentine’s Day has a way of making things loudV er. It announces its arrival with bright red roses, decorated dinners, and romantic dates for couples. It projects the underlying assumption that in order for love to be real, it needs to be witnessed. And if you’re not holding someone’s hand on Valentine’s Day, you’ve somehow got it all wrong.

Although this year, maybe it’s worth considering a solo date.

This is not because you’re “bitter” or giving up on romantic relationships, but because there is something quietly radical, rebellious, and rewarding about choosing yourself on a day typically meant for choosing others. Rather than frantically searching for someone to pour your energy towards, why not pour it into yourself?

A solo date isn’t a consolation prize. It’s not a placeholder until someone better arrives. It’s a deliberate act of presence. Of dressing up without an audience.

Of ordering dessert just because you want it. Of walking into a café, a bookstore, a movie theatre, anywhere you like, and realizing you don’t need to perform closeness to feel fulfilled. There’s a softness in that kind of autonomy.

It doesn’t need a Pinterest board or a grand plan. It can be as simple as dressing up for no reason, ordering the drink you usually talk yourself out of, or wandering into a bookstore with no intention of buying anything, until you do. Maybe it’s watching a movie alone and realizing how freeing it is not to hear someone’s commentary. Maybe it’s sitting at a café, people-watching, romanticizing your life a little. The point isn’t productivity or self-improvement; it’s curiosity and letting yourself enjoy things without turning them into a statement.

On my solo date, I’m listening to the clink of cutlery, to my own thoughts, to the version of myself that usually gets drowned out by expectations. I notice what I like when I’m not performing. I can stay longer if I want. I can leave early if I feel like it. I’m not compromising, negotiating, or explaining my choices. And that feels quiet, yet powerful.

So no, this isn’t a rejection of romance. It’s a redefinition. Love doesn’t have to be loud, public or pinkwashed to be real. Sometimes, it could look like taking yourself out on Valentine’s Day, smiling at your reflection in the mirror, and realizing how nourishing it can be when providing that connection for yourself. That might be the most romantic thing of all.

Host an impeccable Galentine’s Day Audrey Thilloy, Contributor For those who don’t know, Galentine’s Day is a holiday made up by Leslie Knope from Parks & Recreation. It takes place the day before Valentine’s Day, and it is all about celebrating platonic friendships and love in your life.

At its core, it’s really just an excuse to get together with your friends, eat good food, drink fun drinks, and spend quality time together. However, building community outside of romantic relationships is an important part of self-care. Most people go the more tra-

ditional brunch route, but if you’re looking to switch things up, here are some ideas.

1) Choose a theme to set the vibe A cohesive theme instantly makes the celebration feel more exciting. You can go classic with pink and red everything and hearts everywhere, or try a retro decade vibe like the seventies or nineties. Activity-based themes like a high-tea gathering with pastries and teacups, a spa day with robes and face masks, or a “My Favourite Things” swap party where everyone shares items that they love.

Photo Credits: Ndaru Bhramastra 2) Get creative with hands-on activities Nothing brings people together like trying something new (and sometimes looking foolish in the process).

You could host a paint and sip night—or paint each other’s portraits with rudimentary styles. Alternatively, candle-making or perfume-making at a local studio. Creating your custom scent might just be the key to spicing up your Galentine’s. Jewelry-making and flower-arranging workshops are other fun, relaxing options.

3) Do a challenge night One idea is a “chopped-style” cooking competition using mystery ingredients to see who can create the best dish. If cooking is your worst nightmare, you could stick to a more grounding activity, like a blind book exchange, where everyone wraps a book and writes clues on the outside for a preview before swapping. Challenging yourself to read something you normally wouldn’t pick up could bring much novelty and inspiration!

4) Capture the memories Set up a cute photo corner with props, balloons, fairy lights, and a themed backdrop. You can dress up to match the theme and take fun group and solo pic-

09

Illustrated by Melody Zhou tures. It’s an easy way to make memories and also get Instagram-worthy content. Don’t forget to thank your friend with the digital camera!

5) Bring back the sleepover energy Recreate childhood slumber parties with face masks, board games, comfort food, and movies. Or elevate things with a game night featuring charades, Pictionary, trivia about your friend group, or even a full murder mystery dinner party.

At the end of the day, Galentine’s Day isn’t about be-

ing single or avoiding romance: it’s about celebrating the people who support and show up for you. No matter what you decide to do, the most important part is taking the time to be with the people you love.

partners, exes getting back together, or “popular kid dating a nerd.”

My secret weapon for an endless list of refreshing date ideas Michaela Dimitrov, Contributor

My boyfriend and I once went on a date inspired by the letter D. We agreed to host a mini drawing competition between us at a donut shop. We brought paper and pencils, and I found a picture of a purple water lily for us to reference. Since I am experienced and love drawing flowers, I knew it would be easy for me, while my boyfriend would struggle, leading to a comical experience.

You might have heard of “alphabet dates.” My boyfriend and I have integrated this simple yet exciting system into our relationship. It’s quite easy: plan a date activity where its name starts with a certain alphabet and repeat this in alphabetical order. For example, start with the letter A. The activity could be Asian cuisine, apple-picking, or acting. And for the next date, choose an activity that starts with the letter B. It could be boba, books, or building something.

Many ideas stemmed from these alphabetical dates and encouraged my partner and me to put our creativity to use. For example, build a LEGO set or a mini kit. This could outline how well you and a partner work together. It might even reveal some interesting features in your relationship dynamics, such as who tends to lead or how work is divided between the two.

Another activity inspired by alphabetic dates is acting. For example, employ scenarios, such as pretending that you and your partner are on a first date, acting shy and awkward. Some other fun roles you could play with are a married couple, lawyers, business

A Pandora’s box of fun

I watched him attempting to get the ratios right and tried his hardest to illustrate each petal as the same size and height. After that, we took turns picking different drawing inspirations and recreating them.

In the end, we scored each other fairly and asked a friend, who is an artist, to anonymously score our drawings.

Up until this date, my boyfriend still jokes that he is a great artist, and he was only faking his inability to draw to make me feel better. The experience created great memories for both of us and contributed to many laughters in our relationship.

All in all, I highly recommend alphabetic dating. It will likely inspire bonding and humorous moments in your relationship as it has for my boyfriend and me!

Is it facts or is it misinformation? or persuade against or in favour of an issue. It is closely related to virality, as people chase the next trending headline.

Zainab Khalil Associate Features Editor

Misinformation is not uncommon in fast-paced media.

Readers might ask questions upon seeing a headline; however, the step of fact-checking is not usually carried out. Instead, passively absorbing headlines as truth and scrolling past them is a common habit. However, this seemingly harmless act makes us the culprits of the spread of misinformation.

In 2025, a study published in the scientific journal Nature found that people have the ability to spot fake news when actively trying to do so. However, the possibility of believing fake news increases when one is not asked to actively exercise critical thinking.

Illustrated by April Roy In a world where AI seems to be taking over, distinguishing between real and fabricated information is becoming more important than ever.

People fall for misinformation every day because of the human tendency to rely on emotion, repetition and cognitive bias. When headlines constantly appear in social media feeds and online discussions, people often assume the information is true. Emotions play a major role in this, as pre-existing feelings and opinions on a topic can make individuals more likely to believe positive or negative news about it.

In addition, it is key to consult multiple sources. If reputable outlets support a source, it is usually a good sign.

Following up on updates regarding a certain topic could also provide insight, as some might identify fake news for other audiences and provide an explanation.

On the other hand, neutral language is usually used when providing credible information. Asking questions by expanding on the information available in the headline is a great way to do so. Some questions you could raise are: Why is this information present? Is the source credible? Is there supporting data? Does the source have hidden agendas? If there are vague answers to the above questions, the reporting is likely unreliable.

Another form of misinformation can manifest through the use of misleading or artificially generated images.

With the rise of AI, realistic images can be easily forged to strengthen the persuasiveness of fake news.

According to a paper published about fake news detection in Nature, reverse image searching can help readers identify fake news or work that has been repurposed out of context. As for AI-generated or modified videos, signs of mismatched lighting and unnatural speaking patterns suggest that it might have employed deepfakes to enhance existing footage.

ountless news sources, social media, and the rise of A study published by Springer Nature on the predictive C artificial intelligence (AI) have exposed us to all kinds role of university students’ critical thinking skills has shown that people with strong critical thinking skills ex- Tools against misinformation and their imporof information, whether we want to receive it or not.

Such exposure to information and our tendency to blindly rely on it causes the widespread spread of unreliable claims. This article will discuss how to distinguish between facts and untested claims, and how to recognize false information.

The concerning popularity of misinformation When society lacks the habit of researching the credibility of popular claims, information is easily manipulated.

As a result, the general public’s understanding of innovation, news and health might be harmed by increasing vulnerability to misleading claims. Misinformation is often used to convince an opinion, change perspective

ARTS

hibited higher media literacy and were better at spotting fake news. A lack of knowledge about a topic makes individuals more inclined to believe misinformation.

How to distinguish misinformation from credible news?

One way to identify fake news is by fact-checking. Readers can start by looking at the content’s publisher: Are they well-known and verified? Or is their platform filled with clickbait titles to elicit strong emotions? Any title that invokes fear, outrage or happiness should be questioned. This is a common strategy employed to make readers bypass their critical thinking, hence increasing their susceptibility to believing in misinformation.

tance

Education is one of the most important tools to mitigate the negative effects of misinformation. Aside from selfeducating on methods to navigate through online spaces, one can also participate in media literacy courses, such as one offered by the Canadian government.

Amidst a society that is easily impacted by trendy claims, becoming an active, informed reader through practicing awareness is the first step in improving society’s media literacy. We must constantly exercise techniques to spot, debunk and prevent misinformation so that media discernment is ingrained in us. Protecting factual information begins with thinking critically before sharing.

Editor | Yusuf Larizza-Ali arts@themedium.ca

Selection of Great Romance Novels Available at UTM Library

Emma Catarino Associate Arts Editor For those who need a bit of romance in their life, our UTM library holds a variety of delectable romance novels, including the exceptional ones listed below.

ith Valentine’s Day coming up, some of UTM’s sin- written by Rachel Reid. The story follows Shane HolW gle students may be wanting to find romance in dif- lander and Ilya Rozanov, two hockey players working on ferent places, even fictional places. At the UTM library, opposing teams. Due to their professional positions, they many different romance novels, both fictional and nonfictional, can be found.

start out as enemies before slow-burning into lovers keeping their casual hook-up-turned-relationship a secret.

Those who’ve been on Tiktok even a little bit these last few months have heard of the popular TV show Heated Rivalry. The series is based on a book by the same name,

Anyone who appreciates Greek mythology would love The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, though simply calling it a romance novel is reductionist. The story of Achilles is

10 told by Patroclus, his childhood friend, partner, and lover. The novel spans their whole life, following them through their childhoods, their involvement in the Trojan War, up to their heroic, romantic-agony-filled deaths. Their story is filled with twists and turns, but the love between the two men is fierce. The Song of Achilles is great if you like a book with less spice, and more emphatic, long-lasting love.

If you want to read a romance with hilariously good chemistry, check out The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren. This one contains the ever-popular “enemies-tolovers” trope, following main character Olive Torres, Olive’s twin sister, Ami’s wedding gives all the guests in attendance food poisoning, leading Ami to ask her sister to go on her non-refundable honeymoon in her place, along with Ethan, the seemingly judgemental jerk, the only other guest who didn’t get sick. Though the two can’t stand each other initially, hijinks ensue during their week in paradise, leading to them falling in love. Their banter and wit, leading to their electric desire is the highlight of the novel.

Last but certainly not least, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. This novel follows not one, but 8 different “love” stories, with actress Evelyn Hugo. It’s written in alternating perspectives, switching between Evelyn Hugo’s firstperson perspective as she recounts her life, and the perspective of Monique, the present-day reporter who is interviewing her. Hugo married seven men throughout her lifetime, for different reasons. She married Ernie Diaz to get herself into the Hollywood sphere, she married Don Alder out of love until he turned abusive, she entered a lavender marriage with her best friend Harry Cameron, and so on. Though her constant, true love was fellow actress Celia St. James. Reid’s writing makes it impossible to put her books down, with the romance she created for the two women being so eloquently written.

While the standings provide one snapshot of the season, the story unfolding on the

Photo Credits: Melody Zhou court reveals a program undergoing a cultural transformation; one built on commitment, effort, and the belief that this team is capable of achieving something special.

Culture and History of Two Romantic Dances: the Waltz and the Flamenco Christina Haddad Contributor A brief history of two romantic dances to practice this upcoming Valentine’s Day.

his eldest son, Johann Strauss II earned the title “the Waltz King” following his creative and romantic take on the dance. He elevated the waltz and took it to different European cities, as well as parts of North America.

The flamenco

, 2, 3, 4, and turn! 2, 3, 4.

If you’re celebrating Valentine’s with a multi-talented 1Want group, flamenco might be a suitable option for you. to keep your loved ones on their toes this Val- Originating in Andalusia, Spain, flamenco combines entine’s day, or sweep them off their feet? Consider practicing one of these two romantic dances: the waltz or the flamenco. With rich and diverse backgrounds, stories of the dance origins offer a lens of culture and history.

The waltz The waltz originates from Ländler folk dance; 18th19th century dance in Austria and southern Germany (Bavaria) commonly involved groups of dancers twirling to music in ¾ time. Earlier dances involved minimal physical contact of the hands only. But the waltz was more scandalous. Performed in pairs, the waltz requires passion, direct physical contact with your partner, and speedy whirls. Younger generations enjoyed the thrill and facilitated the spread of the dance, and Johann Strauss I (1804-1849), a Viennese composer and conductor, popularized the Waltz through public performances. His career especially peaked after the death of well-known composers in the region. He took the dances to large halls and optimized the music to which dancers moved. Though Strauss forbade his children from pursuing music,

three elements: singing, dancing, and guitar-playing.

This style emerged from influences from Gypsy, Jewish, Moorish and Romani cultures, as different groups immigrated and brought unique practices and instruments. The flamenco songs can range from lighthearted to serious. The guitarist rests their instrument on crossed legs and utilizes different strumming techniques to match the intensity of the dancer.

The forte of the flamenco is the dancer. They express the singer, whose message lies in the lyrics. Female dancers rely on upper-body movement, while males deliver complex footwork. Though flamenco does not typically involve a pair of dancers, the trio delivers a vibrant, rich, and romantic performance together.

In 2010, UNESCO recognized flamenco as a World Intangible Cultural Heritage. Today, the dance is performed both at religious events and private parties, with bold movements, rich expressions, and flowy dresses.

So, whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone, or with family, friends, or a partner, pick a style, find a song (or practice playing one), and hit the dance floor!

Illustrated by Sehajleen Wander

Racism in Reboots and Remakes Diana Varzideh Associate Arts Editor A look at the racism and misogyny targeting Black actresses in recent film releases he Little Mermaid live action film adaptation from 2023 was T a commercial flop, leading to almost $5 million dollars at the box office. There were, of course, several valid reasons for this—

the film went over its production budget, it was released in a line of unwanted Disney remakes, and of course the super-realistic, giant Flounder was nightmare worthy. However, if you were to ask certain fans of the original movie, they would say the issue was the casting of Halle Bailey, a Black actress, as Ariel. Layota Lee writes in a MsMagazine that the trailer, published in September of 2022, received 1.5 million dislikes on Youtube within the first two days of its release, forcing the site to disable the dislike button completely.

Illustrated by Adanna Scott

Throughout the movies campaign and release, several hateful hashtags circulated online, such as #StopRaceSwapping and #NotMyAriel. A rationalization made for these racist hashtags was that it was “inauthentic the original character,” and of course, the age-old argument that “Well, it wouldn’t be okay if a white actress played Tiana,” to which the response is that there is a difference between whitewashing a character whose story revolves around her race, and race swapping a mythical mermaid whose story revolves around her coming-of-age. It would be remiss to not point out that her story also centered around her

11 voice being taken away, which lends itself well to the real experiences of many women of color.

This combination of racism and misogyny crops up often when a Black actress is introduced in a remake role, from Quvenzhané Wallis as Annie in 2014, Laci Mosley as in the 2021 iCarly reboot. The hatred for reboots, remakes, and unimaginative sequels is fair—these multibillion dollar companies owe their fans the creativity their earlier years promised—but this call for new content is often used as an excuse to spread hate and racism when these are two

separate, incomparable issues.

The hate doesn’t stop at actresses either. In her article for the Guardian, Tayo Bero explains how Marvel director, Nia DaCosta, was the only Black woman to have directed a movie in the top 100 grossing films of 2023. When her part in the film-making was made public, she had to face a severely racist and misogynistic hate campaign, where Disney made no moves to protect her.

The bottom line is that the pressing matter isn’t whether

or not mermaids and directors can be black or not. The problem is how hard the industry and audience make it for Black actresses to win. If they play an existing role, they’re accused of “ruining the integrity” of fictional characters, and if they create or partake in fresh, new projects, they are still accused of being “too woke,” all in the name of hiding blatant racism. While the audiences are part of the problem, it is also important to hold companies and the industry accountable to protecting their hires and creating more diverse content as a whole.

Recipe for a Romcom Illustrated by Sehajleen Wander

Diana Varzideh Associate Arts Editor A step-by-step guide to the perfect romcom

I

t’s officially that time of year when we settle into layers of thick blankets, cup of hot chocolate (or can of Monster) in hand, ready to delve into the world of rom coms.

From the cult classics, like Ten Things I Hate About You (1999), to newer releases such as People We Meet on Vacation (2026), rom coms have integrated themselves into the world of pop culture—for better or for worse, as these movies tend to follow predictable trends. Some find this endearing, while for others, it makes it much harder to take them seriously. Regardless of your view on the genre, if you have been planning to create, partake in, or mock, your very own romcom, this recipe will undoubtedly come in handy throughout the month of February.

INGREDIENTS: • • • •

A cup of likeable, relatable main character. They must be admirable in most ways, and attractive to the general public except those in their own storyworld, yet deeply flawed (read: clumsy).

500 grams of a perfect love interest. Usually hidden in plain sight, or highly unattainable to the main character.

A teaspoon of magic. This can be explained, or left to the audiences’ imagination. Christmas rom coms make this more explicit by having a covertly Santalike figure appear and wink at the camera.

Two servings of miscommunication. Actually, double that. The movie’s run time would not last long without this key ingredient.

• INSTRUCTIONS: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Start off by showing the audience how helpless the situation is. Our hero has no job prospects, and a failing romantic life. Alternatively, you could start on a high by showing them starting at a new job/class, with great “fish-out-of-water” prospects.

Mix in the future couple for the first time. For best results, have them hate each other initially, usually accomplished with a healthy dose of miscommunication.

Raise the stakes. Most successful recipes use a bet (revealed at a dramatic moment), a conflict of interest (revealed at a dramatic moment), or, well you get the idea.

Slowly stir the chemistry, letting the sparks fly at inconvenient times. Mix in some more miscommunication by having family members and meddling friends intervene.

Now it’s time for the mandatory makeover scene. Traditionally, this is done with a removal of eyewear, but modern movies have done this magical transformation by having someone take off a beanie.

6.

7.

8.

9.

This step isn’t necessary, but a love (tri)angle is commonly used as an obstacle to our star-crossed lovers.

Fool the audience. Make them believe the happy ending is within reach, then drop the dramatic reveal. In film schools, they call this the Third Act Conflict, a tried and tested method.

Time for the most crucial last ingredient: confession. Everyone knows this could have happened a lot sooner and saved everyone from a lot of pain, so it has to be aesthetically pleasing. Running is recommended. Airports are also highly recommended.

Put the romcom in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Your happy ending is almost ready!

HOW TO SERVE: Romantic comedies may be a predictable, slightly worn-out topic, but not every movie has to have the production and storytelling traits of an A24 movie. After all, the “comedy” aspect usually goes unnoticed, but romcoms have been dubbed so for a reason. So sit back, cut a slice of your favourite comfort movie, and enjoy!

SPORTS & HEALTH

Editor | Tyler Medeiros sports@themedium.ca

What it means to love and stay motivated

Maram Qarmout Contributor How do our environments and brain chemicals motivate us?

W

e all know that feeling when we’re at our peak.

When we’ve spent every minute and second of the day studying or training to perfect that one assignment or tournament. We also know what it’s like to be at our lowest points. When we’ve done everything we can, but nothing works out.

We try to get back in shape, but what once motivated us slowly becomes a burden. Now we live every day trying to reset our emotions. Trying to find the right motivation. Trying and trying, until it works out

again. Until there’s passion in what we once loved to perfect.

How does our brain motivate us?

When we love someone, our brain releases a chemical known as dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone that increases our happiness. But love isn’t subjective to people. For athletes, researchers, doctors, and many more professionals, even students, they do what they do for the love of their profession or programs of study.

Every time a student or athlete succeeds in a task that takes effort and time, they are hit by instant feelings of happiness and relief. This is the work of our brain releasing dopamine and endorphins to increase joy and alleviate stress and tension.

Serotonin is another chemical that, although produced mainly in the gut, the brain releases to regulate emotions. It keeps us calm, happier, and more focused. Which is why when we feel demotivated, unfocused, and at a loss for why we aren’t as passionate as before, it may be our brain warning us. When the brain is depleted of dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, our love, happiness, calmness, memory, and focus decrease as well.

During these moments, it’s important to consider a diet change by eating healthier or exercising more.

Exploring new hobbies is also a great way to relieve your stress and tension. From UTM Moves, UTM Baking Club, UTM Film Club, and many more student groups, you have the opportunity to talk to new people and learn a new skill, giving your body and mind a much deserved break.

12

How can the ways we live affect our motivation?

Photo Collage by Melody Zhou

Sometimes it’s the words we start or end our days with. For some of us, it’s easy to tell our friends “You can do this,” but to believe in it ourselves can take all the energy we have. Building a morning or night routine where you affirm yourself with positive thoughts will enhance social and personal well-being. It’s not useless effort. It may take a long time to feel its worth, but it can alleviate discouragement and overtime incline the release of “feel good” chemicals.

Other times, it’s not us, but our environments. Abusive households, bad friendships and terrible coaches or professors are reasons we may lose our passion and love. Most of the time, it’s not in our control or ability to leave these situations.

But that doesn’t mean we still can’t motivate ourselves to keep fighting. It’s all about finding the smallest pieces of treasure and holding them close to our hearts to heal and move forward with a stronger and more positive mindset. There will come a time when you’ll be able to leave, and by then, you’ll be grateful to yourself for never giving up and always seeking happiness even in the toughest of times.

Losing motivation is natural. It’s the time we need to take a step back and reevaluate what’s important to us and what kept us going in the first place. You never truly lose passion or love for something; it just takes a little more time to reignite it all again.

New Season, New Growth for Women’s Volleyball Emily Zubriski Contributor UTM Women’s Tri-Campus Volleyball season so far The 2025–2026 season has been one of transition, growth, and resilience for the UTM Women’s Tri-Campus Volleyball team. With a largely rebuilt roster and only a few returning players, the team entered the season focused less on immediate results and more on building chemistry, trust, and a positive environment. The team believes that these foundations will carry far beyond a single season.

The UTM Women’s Tri-Campus Volleyball team is made up of 13 athletes led by head coach Bryan Calucag and assistant coach James Tang, with captains Emily Zubriski and Abi Comeau guiding the group on and off the court.

Results, Environment, and Leadership While the team is not seeing the outcomes through Photo Credits: UTM Recreation, Athletics & Wellness, Flickr

wins, the progress being made tells a much deeper story. The Eagles earned a set win against UTSC in the winter and continue to Photo improve week

by Zhou week, Credits: Melody particularly in their offensive decision-making and overall pace of play. Practices have become a space to experiment, learn, and take risks, with players encouraged to make mistakes in order to grow.

“The environment we’ve created makes it okay to look a little foolish while learning,” said captain Zubriski. “That’s where the real improvement happens.”

That environment has been one of the team’s biggest strengths. The overall feeling of this season has been positive, supportive, and genuinely fun— a group of athletes who enjoy being together both on and off the court. Through all of the competition, trust and chemistry have grown significantly, and it is starting to show.

With practically only two players returning, rebuilding the team came with some challenges. For the Eagles, learning each player’s strengths and figuring out how to use them effectively has been a major

focus. Despite the learning curve, the team’s speed, skill level, and confidence have increased steadily.

New techniques learned through practice are being implemented more consistently during games.

One standout moment came during an exhibition match against York, where the team pushed the game to five competitive sets. The match was filled with energy, celebration, and strong volleyball—a clear sign of how far the team has come and what they are capable of when everything clicks. They also had amazing attendance from other students, family, and friends who came out to support their Eagles!

Leadership has played a key role throughout the season. Zubriski and Comeau have worked closely to strike a balance between fun and accountability, ensuring the team remains upbeat while still holding each other to high standards. From organizing team bonding activities to reinforcing a learning-focused mindset, the captains have emphasized growth, resilience, and pride in the process.

Beyond the court For Zubriski, the Tri-Campus Volleyball program represents far more than competition. “Being part of this program means having a safe space to play the sport I love,” she shared. “The coaches and players create such a welcoming community. I’ve gained lasting friendships and so much confidence while still focusing on my studies.”

As the season moves toward playoffs, the team hopes to carry their growth forward with renewed confidence and energy. More than anything, they want to feel proud of the work they’ve put in together.

Through rebuilding, resilience, and unwavering support for one another, the Eagles have created something special — a team that plays with heart, grows together, and represents the spirit of University of Toronto Mississauga with pride.

Message to the Fans The team is also calling on the UTM community to show their support. Sunday games thrive on crowd energy, and having fans in the stands can make all the difference, whether it is fueling momentum, boosting morale, or reminding players that their effort is seen and valued.

Come support the UTM Women’s Tri-Campus Volleyball team home and away as they look to put together a strong second half to the season.

Happy Valentine’s Day<3