Page 1











Ph 1-800 231 311 Fx 1-800 231 312





including GST




■ Amazon teasers (from left) Radha-Leigh, Rosie Revel, Miss Jane, Lyra la Belle and Kat Copsey can be seen at the LuWow in Fitzroy from April 12-22 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. See Page 5.

Opening night at The National Theatre


Observer ISSN 1447 4611

■ Peter Ford, David Rogers-Smith and Chris Ryan were pictured at the opening night party for La Cage aux Folles being staged at the National Theatre until March 24. The show stars Rogers-Smith, John O’May, Nick Kong, Melanie Ott and Reece Budin. Observer critic Julie Houghton says the show is “full of drama, pathos, humour ... and great singing and dancing”. Julie’s review is on Page 12. Opening night photos, by Emily McCoy, are on Page 46.


Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Melbourne Observer

W hen you lose someone you love you don’ don’tt need someone telling you how it is is.. You need ggenuine enuine empathy and sup port. support. You need clear arrang ement details arrangement details.. You need things done the way you want. eel included Most of all you need to ffeel - lik amily. likee a ffamily. How do we know? Because that’ hat we do that’ss w what do..

T ender Moments - Tender Care

9369 4919 24 Hour Service Altona - Laverton - Werribee

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 3 Melbourne


Breaking News

Passion at West Melbourne


■ Grace Wong has won a Fair Work Australia case against Nytro Pty Ltd, trading as Nito Gym at Kilsyth. Ms Wong complained thather dismissal last year was harsh, unjust and unreasonable. The company lost the case heard before Deputy President Smith, and was ordered to pay $7901.36 within 30 days to Ms Wong. Ms Wong told a hearing that she was dismissed, with allegations of misconduct.

Toodle-loo Edna ■ Dame Edna Everage is about to wave ‘toodleloo’ to Melbourne in a farewell tour, Eat Pray Laugh. Barry Humphries, 78, is reported to say he is retiring the Edna and Les Patterson characters.

It was stated that Nitro suspected Ms Wong of altering group certificates, had not improved her conduct despite two written warnings, and “was making mistakes and costing the company money”. Deputy President Smith said that he found that Ms Wong was protected from unfair dismissal in that she had completed the minimum period of employment and that a modern award covered her employment. He said Ms Wong was not consulted in accordance with the award, and therefore the termination of employment did not consitute a genuine redundancy in accordnace with the Act. “The next allegation of misconduct was, on the evidence of Ms Wong, not made until after the termination has taken place and only in the material submitted to Fair Work Australia. “I accept that Ms Wong was not advised of the alleged misconduct at the time of her termination.” Deputy President Smith found that there was no valid reason to terminate Ms Wong’s employment. The redundancy notification lacked supporting evidence. Ms Wong incurred additional child care costs in her new employment. Resinstatement was not appropriate as a remedy. The monetary amount was calculated on loss of pay during unemployment, and child care costs.

It’s All About You!


Observer In This 72-Page Edition

Showbiz News: Free and fabulous ........... Page 5 People: Tom Elliott at the Grand Prix .... Page 6 Melb. Confidential: The latest gossip ...... Page 9 Di Rolle: Men In Pink Tights ................ Page 10 Long Shots: The Editor’s Column ......... Page 12 Yvonne Lawrence: What a tangled web ... Page 15 Extra: Betty McQuade remembered ..... Page 16 Observer Readers’ Club: Birthdays ........ Page 18 Melbourne Trader: Free reader ads ....... Page 29 Showbiz: Green Room awards ............ Page 55 Ted Ryan: Observer Racing latest ......... Page 67 Green Room Awards Independent and Community Theatre Movies and DVDs

Observer Showbiz

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

Driver’s 47 charges ■ Dylan Christopher Stone, 19, of Warrnambool, has been remanded in custody, facingt 47 charges, some relating to nine Police pursuits.

Charity tin thief at KFC ■ Mark Curtis, 44, of Horsham, has been given a suspended jail term after stealing from a charity tin at KFC.

Jim Stynes, 45, dies ■ Melbourne football identity Jim Stynes died yesterday (Tues.) after a long battle with cancer. More on P30.

DEMONS FIGHT LOGO CASE ■ Ross Smith, described as an ‘amateur historian’, has lost his challenge to the Australian Football League’s registration of a Melbourne Football Club logo as a trade mark. Snith’s opposition went before Tarde Marks Office registrar Jock McDonagh. He was represented by Fiona Brittain, of Davies Collison Cave, patent and trade mark attorneys. The AFL was represented by Chris Round of Middletons, solicitors. Smith claimed that use of the logo would amount to “misleading and deceptive conduct”. He said the logo contaions the words “Est. 1858” when the club was in fact established in 1859. Historian Col Hutchinson presented 1858 press clippings to support the League’s case.

● Lorina Gore will feature in the Melbourne Bach Choir performance of the St John Passion at St Mary’s Star of The Sea, West Melbourne ■ Easter is a time for splendid choral music, Australia's Shane Lowrencev as Jesus. and Melbourne Bach Choir has attracted a Bass Joshua Bloom is taking time out from line-up of top soloists from Australia and over- singing at New York's Metropolitan Opera seas for its performance of Bach's St John House to sing the showy bass arias. Passion. Other Opera Australia stars tenor Henry On Friday, March 30 at 8pm, and Satur- Choo and soprano Lorina Gore are also feaday, April 1, at St Mary's Star of the Sea church tures, as is acclaimed Melbourne mezzo-soin West Melbourne, Melbourne Bach Choir prano Belinda Paterson. will perform a stirring rendition of the St John Sung in English, the concerts will benefit Passion. the Cancer Centre of St Vincent's Hospital. Under the baton of conductor Rick Tickets from $30 - $60 can be booked at Prakhoff, the choir and orchestra will be joined or on 0477 087 by six vocal soloists including tenor Paul 593. McMahon as the Evangelist and Opera - Julie Houghton

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 RECIPIENTS OF BARRY HUMPHRIES' OLD COSTUMES AND PROPS. 5. Dame Edna's gowns - Brynne Edelsten 4. Dame Edna's glasses - Lillian Frank 3. Sir Les Patterson's suit - Clive Palmer 2. Dame Edna's Hair - Peter Garrett (it will blend in nicely with the Pink Batts) 1. The 'Gladdies' - Any Member of Parliament (use your imaginjation)

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mark Richardson ♥

● View from 1 Queens Rd porch

Straight from the heart



● Anne Rebecchi

● The Prestige Team: Pam Kelly, Marcel Discipio, Chris Gatt, Matthew Gatt and Sumit Mittal (Inset 1: Sam Sofia. Inset 2 : Matt James and Anastasia Toddie)

● Christen and Beth Martinu

Porch Thoughts ■ March in Melbourne is MAD, and we love it! Melburnians have enjoyed the world's finest food, wine, fashion, colourful street parades, AFL preseason footy finals, St Patrick’s Day celebrations and that's all before the curtains officially rise for Melbourne's International Comedy Festival. And if March in Melbourne isn't quite MAD enough, let's just not forget to throw in the roar of the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix at Albert Park. On race day, high above the fanfare, racing officials, 'Grid Girls', mechanics, chequered flags, celebrities, news crews and the roar of engines,

I discovered the team at Prestige Group International live by the motto, 'Work Hard and Play Hard'. Owners Chris and Matthew Gatt work hard to encourage their clients to 'Aspire Higher' by creating sound financial futures through various investment and wealth building strategies offered through property, and play hard by hosting a range of events throughout the year for their clients, including the 'Prestige Grand Prix Rooftop Party' at 1 Queens Road. With 100 guests, the Prestige team invited the Melbourne Observer to their spectacular rooftop event stating, 'This was the Porch Thought party Melbourne needed to have.'

● Eddie Borg

● Above: Lizzie Lowey and Katie MacDonald ● At left: Mark and Pam Kelly

● Paris and Kellie Henriksen Photos: MHB Photography Melbourne


Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 5

Financial Planning

Breaking Showbiz News



with Jon and Andrew Rancie of Rancie McLean Financial Planning Level 4, 420 Collins Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Phone: 9671 4990


Dollar Cost Averaging Does It Work?

● John Farnham in the 1970s ■ ASIO spies suspected singer John Farnham was supporting the fight for Aboriginal rights in the 1970s, a Sydney newspaper reports this week.


● Carrie Bickmore ■ This year’s nominees for the Gold Logie are Esther Anderson, Carrie Bickmore, Hamish Blake, Adam Hills, Asher Keddie and Karl Stefanovic.

Owed $27m

● Stefan Cassomenos ■ The Monash Academy Orchestra will present An Afternoon of Variations of Grand Themes on Sunday (March 25) at 2.30pm., at Robert Blackwood Hall., The performance will feature the Monash Academy Orchestra, with its new conductor Fabian Russell and Melbourne piano soloist, Stefan Cassomenos. The concert opens with Brahms' majestic Variations on a theme by Joseph Haydn Opus 56a, and followed by Rachmaninoff's famous Rhapsody on an even more famous theme of Paganini, with Stefan Cassomenos taking the spectacular piano solo part. The program concludes with the much-loved Enigma Variations, those grand variations on an as yet undiscovered 'secret' theme, by Edward Elgar. The concert is Fabian Russell's first as Principal Conductor with the Monash Academy Orchestra, having finished a highly successful tenure as Principal Conductor and Artistic Director of Melbourne Youth Orchestra. Fabian has also been a frequent guest conductor with Australian National Academy of Music and the Australian Youth Orchestra. "Fabian is justly regarded as one of Australia's leading orchestral educators, and brings a wealth of professional musical experience to the Monash Academy Orchestra, " said Dr Peter Tregear, MAPA Executive Director. Stefan Cassomenos is a favourite with Melbourne audiences. With his signature mop of curls, he is a charismatic performer with a breath-taking technique. Stefan 's 2007 London debut was described in a review by the famous music critic John Amis as “alive, passionate and dramatic…as if the pianist's life depended on it. The was a prodigious London debut by a formidable talent." The Monash Academy Orchestra is run by the Monash University Academy of Performing Arts, an institution unique in Australian higher education that is dedicated to translating the best of University cultural life into public performances for the wider community to enjoy. Tickets for this concert are free, but they must be pre-booked by visiting or calling 9905 1111. - Julie Houghton

● Luke Gallagher and Dolly Diamond ■ Dolly Diamond and Luke Gallagher return to Theatre Works, St Kilda for two nights only on March 30 and March 31. This glamorous cabaret duo with their 14-piece big band is out to sing up a storm and delight audiences with their clever songs and razor-sharp wit, featuring the music of Sinatra, Minnelli, Buble and a host of other icons. Dolly Diamond is a UK comedy cabaret diva who now calls Australia home. She adds a cabaret twist to her songs as she changes many lyrics to tell her stories and to poke fun at a multitude of others. Dolly has been seen around Australia as part of many festivals including Midsumma, the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Festival, Adelaide's Feast Festival, Daylesford's ChillOut Festival, Coffs Harbour's CoastOut Festival and Tasmania's Pride Festival, amongst many others. She also remains a UK and European festival favourite, working regularly as a headline cabaret/ comedy act around the world. Venue: Theatre Works, 14 Acland St., St KildaPerformance Dates: March 30 and March 31Time: 8.00pm Price: $28 full/$23 conc. (plus booking fee) Bookings: - Cheryl Threadgold

■ The City of Melbourne is $27 million out of pocket, because it has been unable to collect payments from some motorists with unpaid parking fines. One driver has 252 outstanding fines.

Off road ■ Disqualified driver George Kouloukas, of Clayton, has been given another sic months licence after being caught in Brighton. The 55year-old was also fined $500 for giving a false name.

● Amazon teasers (from left) Radha-Leigh, Rosie Revel, Miss Jane, Lyra la Belle and Kat Copsey can be seen at the LuWow in Fitzroy from April 12 – 22 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. ■ Amazons presents Cocktail Hour at the LuWow, 62-70 Johnston St., Fitzroy, from April 12 – 22. Melbourne’s new venue, the LuWow plays host during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Jungle hijinks, intrepid exploration and abandonment to mystic ritual will be presented by a troupe of wild Amazon teasers celebrating their latest victory. Can the stage of the LuWow’s sumptuous Forbidden Temple contain the heat of these cavorting shecats? Bewitching comedy cabaret and burlesque awaits the intrepid souls who venture into the jungle’s depths to find out. Performance Dates: April 12-22 (Thursday-Sunday nights). Time: 7.30pm (Duration 1 hour). Venue: The LuWow, 62-70 Johnston St., Fitzroy. Tickets: $28.50 (Full), $23.50 (Concession/Group of 5 or more). Bookings: or at the door

Valuable lessons can sometimes be lost due to emotional responses created from short-term volatility and disruption. It can be so frustrating! One of the most straightforward strategies that can be utilised to assist client portfolios in times of high frustration and volatility is that of dollar cost averaging. Dollar cost averaging is an investment strategy that can be used with any investment. Dollar cost averaging involves investing equal monetary amounts regularly over specific time periods (such as $100 monthly) in a particular investment or portfolio. By doing so, more shares are purchased when prices are low and fewer shares are purchased when prices are high. The point of this is to lower the total average cost per share of the investment, giving the investor a lower overall cost for the shares purchased over time. The really interesting thing with dollar cost averaging actually works better in volatile markets rather than those that gradually increase. As investors we all prefer markets like those from 2003 to early 2008 when despite the odd “market correction” along the way the overall direction was pointing up. Since the start of 2008 and the global financial crisis volatility has been ever present. 1% to 2% swings on a regular basis have coursed a significant amount of stress but interestingly enough some of us have become a little conditioned to it! That’s a discussion for another time. An example of a dollar cost averaging strategy is where $100 is invested over five time periods. The market price of the investment begins at $10, falls to $7.50, falls further to $5.50 before bouncing back to $11 before settling back at $10. In other words the market over the five investment periods has ended where it started. The bad news about dollar cost averaging is that some times you will be buying into a market at high prices although you will also be buying in at low points, which is where you essentially make your money. In this case, at the end of the period by dollar cost averaging the investment portfolio was worth $606. Keep in mind, $500 was invested and the market ended where it started.

If you had invested the same amount in a market that rose steadily from $10 in $1 increments to $14, you would have had a portfolio worth close to $591. The average cost of the dollar cost averaged portfolio was $8.25 compared to $11.83 for the gradually increasing market. What we quickly learn here is less about the end portfolio value and more about overcoming our natural behaviour. We generally feel good about investing when markets are trending up steadily. Markets that are volatile unsettle us and create doubt about the wisdom of investing and have us second-guess our decisions. A disciplined investment approach like dollar cost averaging helps overcome that natural behavioural that wants us to try and time the market, which is fraught with danger. As always, if you would like to review your personal financial situation we would be happy to meet with you initially, at our expense. Jon & Andrew Rancie are Authorised Representatives of Australian Financial Services (AFSL: No. 297239) Note: In this article we have not considered your personal situation nor your goals or objectives. You should not base your future investment decisions on the content of this article. Before you invest your hard earned money you should consult a Financial Adviser and have your situation reviewed, clarified and agree to a strategy for investing for the future.

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

At Crown ■ The Australian Pops Orchestra, with Todd McKenny and John Foreman, will be performing at The Palms At Crown on Friday-Saturday, May 18-19. Adult tickets are on sale for $79. General ricket sales begin this week through Ticketek, phone 1-300 795 012.

People Melbourne

Send news to

Fax: 1-800 231 312

Opening night for La Cage aux Folles

Count on it ■ Melbourne comedian Jimeoin has been retained by a small business accounting software firm, Cashflow Manager, to head its marketing campaign. Wayne Burgan, CEO, says he wants Jimeoin to inject some humour into the ‘dry’ topic of business bookkeeping.

Footy’s back!

■ At the National Theatre, St Kilda, for the opening of La Cage Aux Folles, were (from left) John Hay-MacKenzie, Lillian Frank, Richard Frank and Ken MacKenzie-Forbes. Julie Houghton presents her critique on Page 12, and Emily McCoy has more photos on Page 46 of this week’s Observer.

Memories of Turps

● Ian Turpie with Craig Huggins ■ The funeral service for Melbourne-born entertainer Ian Turpie was held in Sydney on Friday. Gold 104.3 presenter Craig Huggins this week recalled the times in 1985 when he was a sevennight ‘carry-over champion’ on The New Price Is Right, hosted by ‘Turps’. Huggy says:“I even won the Showcase! I was doing mid-dawns at 3XY when I won it, but doing ‘Drive’ by the time the show went to air. “I can tell you first-hand what a ripper bloke Ian Turpie was to his contestants. Plenty of funny little comments only I could hear as the ‘Showcase’ was revealed. “He was incredibly nice to me, and it was always great to bump into him in the years following the day he handed over these keys ... "It's a new car!" “Turps will be missed by many.”

● Gordon McKenzie

■ Gordon McKenzie advises of a Gala Variety Concert and Dinner to be held at 7.30pm on Monday, May 28 at the Yarraville Masonic Temple, Cnr Willis and Canterbury Sts. Entertainers include Geraldine Morrow, comic Don Jones, Lindsay Edwards and Gordon McKenzie. Show and dinner: $27. Bookings may be made on 9509 1816.

Last Of The Tourists

● Mick Thomas

■ Mick Thomas and the Roving Commission present the Last of the Tourists new album and tour on Friday, May 11 at 8pm at the Regal Ballroom, 216 High St., Northcote. The album was recorded in the US. Mick took long time musical compadre Mark ‘SqueezeboxWally’ Wallace to join him playing on the album, which features a guest vocal with Portland’s singer-songwriter Shelley Short.

● Liz Sullivan received an early Mothers Day gift from daughter Katie at the weekend, when they attended a Carltonians dinner. Liz received the authographed jumper of Heath Scotland, her favourite Blues player.

Party time ■ Media man Doug Barker was photographed at the 50th birthday party for entertainer Don Crawford at Mount Waverley this week by Gigi Hellmuth. Doug has worked in TV, radio and newspapers in Melbourne, Launceston and Darwin. More photos on Page 45.

Tom Elliott starts his engine


● 3AW weekend host Tom Elliott with the 2012 Formula 1 Qantas Australian Grand Prix Grid Girls.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 7

Bennetts Boots - Marketing Feature

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Going Away for Easter? Need someone to mind the pets, check the house, water the garden? Don't worry Making Time has you covered At Making Time we specialize in exactly that - Making Time With pet and homes services designed to give you time back everyday and let you go on holidays without worry. Making Time makes life easier at a very reasonable price. We can walk and check your pets everyday. From horses to rats and everything inbetween, we are happy to help. You will get updates on your house and pets whilst your away via our 'Pet Text' service, so you can relax knowing your furry friends and your home are in safe hands. As well as our holiday and pet services we have a number of services available for those 'one off' occasions. Want the house cleaned after you move, or before you move in, got a rental inspection coming up? Not a problem our team of professionals are here to help. All of our staff have current police checks, working with children's checks and have passed Pet First Aid Courses . Our services include Pet Services Dog Walking Pet Sitting Vet Visits Holiday Minding (no more expensive boarding fees) House Services House Sitting Mail Collected Plants Watered House Moving Cleaning

With services starting from as little as $30 an hour, why not call us on 0417

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1300 527 034 today and start Making Time for the fun things in your life.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 9

Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

Darren may stay ■ Darren Hillas has won a legal case where Yarra Community Housing Ltd sought to evict him from a rooming house at 660 Elizabeth St, Melbourne. He argued house rules were beyond the scope of the company.

● Samantha Hagen, Brent Hill and Melanie Hawkins were at the Green Room Awards presentations at the weekend. A full picture page is on Page 11; results are on Page 55. Photos by Gavin D Andrew

● Tim Stitz and Petra Kalive

Trews love


● Rhonda Burchmore ■ A creditors’ meeting was held on Friday after Simon Myers put Bold Jack Pty Ltd into voluntary liquidation with debts of just over $1 million, and Folsom Prison Productions Pty Ltd with debts of almost $370,000. Myers was behind Tex Perkins' Johnny Cash tribute show, and has left creditors including entertainer Rhonda Burchmore and publicist Michael Wilkie. Myers, 44, has been a Channel 31 producer., and had shows starringRick Price, Melinda Schneider, Clare Bowditch and Rhonda Burchmore. Myers told The Age last week that unforeseen expenses associated with the Doris Day show last year and disappointing sales for the Morning Of The Earth show ad contributed to the collapse. A new season of Perkins' The Man In Black at the Sydney Opera House is being staged by a different company, Bold Jack International.

At Tribunal

■ Grand Prix identity Sir Jackie Stewart flew half-way around the globe, and wore his best tartan trews, to meet Melbourne celebrity Suzanne Carbone at the Albert Park circuit.

■ James Robert Ibbetson has won his Administrative Appeals Tribunal case against the Repatriation Commission. The former Australian Army soldier served from 1964 to 1971, including a stint in Vietnam. He receives a 100 per cent disability pension because of hearing loss and ischaemic heart disease being war-related. He wanted to have post-traumatic stress and alcohol abuse to be accepted as war-related conditions.

● Melinda Schneider

Short and Sharp ● Simon Myers

Rumour Mill Hear It Here First

Petition at The Peel ■ About 500 people have added their names to a petition complaining abou the difficulty that women face in gaining entry to The Peel Hotel in Peel St, Collingwood, a gay male venue.

No CCTV for prisoner ■ Jonathon Horrocks has lost his bid to view closed circuit television footage of a Port Phillip Prison incident, seeking to identify Fulham Prison security staff said to be involved in his removal from a cell. Horrocks alleged his arm was broken and that he now suffers nerve damage and muscle wastage. Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal Vice-President Judge Timothy Ginnane affirmed the Department of Justice decision not to make the footage available.

Windsor chases nostalgia ■ Melbourne’s Hotel Windsor is asking people to share their memories and memorabilia of the famous hotel, from valet parking receipts to special menus, to help it build an archive that will celebrate the building’s history. The Windsor is due to celebrate its 130th anniversary next year.The hotel is particularly interested in receiving photographs, videos and records of weddings .


■ Alcohol counsellor Brian Cox, 71, of Reservoir, founder of the Melbourne Alcohol Recovery Centre, denies he has committed any of 12 counts of indecent assault, on which he faced Court late last week. He has been released on bail. ■ The Victorian State Government is fighting the Federal Government over alpine cattle grazing. The Weekly Times say the legal costs could be $400,000, and that they are ‘likely to fail’. ■ Comedian Georgina McEncroe is the first female coach at Fitzroy Junior Football Club. ■ Activists say that a quota on killing kangaroos has been exceeded at Puckapunyal Military Base. ■ Grenda Bus Services has placed local newspaper ads thanking patrons after 66 years. It has sold its operations - including Peninsula, Croydon and Moorabbin - to Ventura.



● Chris Lilley ■ Australian TV performer Chris Lilley has missed being nominated for a Most Outstanding award in this year’s Logies. To p - r a t i n g Packed To The Rafters is not nominated for a Gold Logie.


● Paul Henry ■ Channel 10’s early morning program, Breakfast, hosted by Kiwi import Paul Henry, managed just 26,000 viewers on Tuesday last week.

Hello? ■ The Administrative Appeals Tribunal has determined that it has authority to hear former Telstra employee David Kotevski’s claim for hearing aids, as being work related. Mr Kotevski, now 60, worked for Telstra between 1970 and 2001. He lodged a claim for workers’ compensation for industrial deafness, and for hearing aids to be purchased.

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Sir David Attenborough, A Life On Earth

● Sir David Attenborough: coming to Melbourne ■ I love reading and watching telly nearly as much as I love working hard!Currently on my bedside table is a book called Chained To The Desk written by Bryan E.Robinson, Ph.D. I can hardly wait to finish work each day to get back to my book. Work Addiction I am finding out is the New American Idol – the book is a revelation. I am seeing myself on every page and ticking all the boxes. Having worked for years on days that only end in a Y I am so thrilled to have found this book. Oscar Wilde wrote that work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do. Mmmm, not sure about that quote however I do like Oscar Wilde. There is a lovely quote in the book which I identified with from the American songwrite Harry Chapin, “my child arrived the other day, came into the world in the usual way, but there were planes to catch and bills to pay; he learned to walk while I was away.” Every workaholic will relate to that. So as I sit at my desk, I have become much more aware of my workaholic symptoms and am slowing down ever so slightly to write my column. There are actually quite famous workaholics: Donald Trump, Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs and Bono I keep company with in my workaholic status. I have a feeling Sir David Attenborough might be one too but hasn’t declared it – I was thrilled to hear that he has accepted has accepted Lateral Event Management’s invitation to travel to Australia to appear live on stage in Sydney and Melbourne for the first time, for a series of public eventsentitled Sir David Attenborough – A Life On Earth. What a wonderful man he is. He is arguably the world's best-known natural history film-maker, a much loved naturalist and broadcaster whose career has spanned nearly six decades. He is the quintessential intrepid traveller, sometimes changing continents mid-sentence. Sir David’s distinguished career in broadcasting began in 1952 when he joined BBC Television Talks Department. In 1954 he launched the first of his famous Zoo Quest series which over the next 10 years took him to the wilder parts of the world. In 1965, Sir David became Controller of BBC2 and was responsible for the introduction of colour television into Britain. In 1969 he was appointed Director of Programmes with editorial responsibility for both of the BBC's television networks. Then in 1973, he resigned to return to program making, claiming “I haven't even seen the Galapagos Islands.” First came Eastwards With Attenborough, a natural history series set in South East Asia, then The Tribal Eye, examining tribal art. An estimated 500 million people worldwide watched the 13-part series Life On Earth, written and presented by Sir David. At the time it was the most ambitious series ever produced by the BBC Natural History Unit. Its sequel, The Living Planet, came five years later in 1984 and in 1990 the final part of the trilogy, The Trials Of Life was broadcast. He also wrote and presented two shorter series, The First Eden, on the long history of mankind’s relationship with the natural world in the lands around the Mediterranean, and Lost Worlds, Vanished Lives, about fossils. In 1993, Sir David presented the spectacular Life In The Freezer, a celebration of Antarctica and in 1995, he wrote and presented the epic The Private Life Of Plants. In 1996, Attenborough In Paradise fulfilled a lifelong ambition to make a special film about the elusive but beautiful birds of paradise. In 1997, he narrated the award-winning Wildlife Specials, marking 40 years of the BBC Natural History Unit. In 1998, he completed an epic 10-part series for the BBC, The Life of Birds. In 2000 he presented State Of The Planet and in 2001 narrated The Blue Planet. In 2002 he worked on the innovative new BBC1 series, The Life Of Mammals and in 2005 he fronted Life In The Undergrowth. Sir David’s most recent production Frozen Planet was broadcast in the UK in 2011 and quickly became a ratings success, with the second episode becoming the highest rating Natural History program in the UK since 2001. Frozen Planet was also a ratings winner for the Nine Network in Australia. Knighted in 1985, Sir David was awarded the Order of Merit by the Queen in 2005, which recognises exceptional distinction in the arts, sciences and other areas. Sir David Attenborough – A Life On Earth will take audiences on an incredible journey through Sir David’s extraordinary life, his untold stories, the evolution of filming techniques and his passion for bringing us closer to nature. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to share Sir David’s experiences with the great man himself, in person.His Melbourne season details are - 8pm, Friday and Saturday, August 17-18 at The Regent Theatre Booking details: or 1300 111 011 Tickets on sale Monday March 26 – see you in the queue!



I love my job!


■ Another favourite man of mine is the brilliant Victor Trevino and I wouldn’t mind betting that he is a worker of incredible determination. Melbourne is in for a big treat with the visit of Artistic Director Victor Trevino from the 2007 smash hit Men In Tutus in his new show. "Artistically brilliant, absolutely hilarious ... freshly funny, sweet-tempered and inventive" was trhe quote from the New York Times "Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant" said the New York Daily News. "It is not a drag show, but a brilliant artistic and comical send up of the world of dance"remarked USA Today. And Time Out said: “The height of technical precision and dramatic excellence". Incredible reviews and well deserved, direct from New York. Les Ballets Eloelle's Artistic Director of the 2007 smash hit Men In Tutu's Victor Trevino is bringing back to Australia his new hilarious Australian world premiere production Men In Pink Tights. From the thrilling pirouettes of the male dancers, in drag, with brilliant and innovative choreography to the side splitting humour, all presented specially-designed lavish costumes valued at $3-million. Victor Trevino’s new debut hit is a show designed for male, female, young and old. This production is the ultimate send up of both classical and contemporary ballet. The combination of brilliant dancing technique, tongue in cheek

● Men In Pink Tights and blatant humour companies in the with intentional world. Its mission is to foibles, dancing mis- create, to present, to haps and of course preserve and to extend hissy fits by men play- comedic repertoire of ing both male and fe- classical and contemmale roles (some of porary dancing, the men do actually through performances look like gorgeous of the highest quality, women, while others presented to the widare hairy chested men est possible audience. Trevino sys: "Les with pancake makeup but all in tutus etc. Ballets Eloelle is comdancing on perfect mitted to the core art Pointe) creates great form of ballet and promoting it through the entertainment. Les Ballets Eloelle comedic tradition of is one of the few all male comedy ballet". Les Ballets male comedy ballet

● Sean McGrath who makes dog beds

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

Eloelle's Men In Pink Tights boasts over 50 classical ballets in its repertoire and 20 of the best international male ballet dancers from 13 countries. These handsome and beautiful soloists have performed with renowned ballet company¹s the calibre of Houston Ballet, San Francisco Ballet, Royal Danish Ballet, Incoballet, Ballet Alberta of Canada, Scapino Ballet, Martha Graham Dance Company, New York City Ballet, Metropolitan Opera Ballet, Les Jeune Ballet De France to name a few. The program will include the company's signature work with the cast bringing their own brand of humour to the roles: Swan Lake Act II, Pas de Quatre, Minkus Gala and the George Balanchine creation Go For Barocco. The show will also feature duets from both classical and neoclassical origins showcasing a combination of pyrotechnics

and comedy, while adhering to the spirit of the originals. They include Spartacus, Grande Tarantelle, Romeo and Juliet, La Corsaire, Harlequinade and another signature work The Dying Swan. Men In Pink Tights is presented by Retfar Entertainment. Trevino says that Men In Pink Tights will perform "dance classics with a twist that is sure to delight audiences of all ages. “The most talented and funniest male ballerinas on the planet will entertain you with their antics. “It is sure to excite, entertain and amuse you with their production. “Burly men will transform before your eyes into dainty, slightly hairy swans.” This is family entertainment for all! Palais Theatre, Melbourne. Saturday April 14. Bookings: Ticketmaster 136 100 or www.ticketmaster.

Kingsville firm launches ■ Speaking of dancers, Sean McGrath is best known for his theatrical background, Dance Captain for the theatrical blockbuster Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, Chicago and Fiddler On The Roof, among others, Sean has leapt from the floorboards to the sewing machine, following his creative drive and his commitment to the environment and has launched Kingsville Recycled Furnishings. A brilliant idea, Kingsville Recycled Furnishings aims to reduce landfill while creating beautiful products for man and man’s best friend. In 2009, Sean set out to create a unique, practical and environmentally friendly bed for his dog Louie. Since then he has sourced and collected some beautiful, vibrant, durable and versatile materials all destined for landfill. He is also now also using a locally produced stuffing fibre made from corn husks and recycled water bottles. ● To P55

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 11

Melbourne People

Green Room Association Annual Awards Photos: Gavin D Andrew Winners List on Page 55

● Jane Clifton with John Romeril

● Richard Gill with Max Gillies

● John Bell with Sally Bourne

● Kathy Pappas and David McAllister

● Casey Donovan with Lisa-Marie Parker

● Heidi Victoria MLA and daughter Charlotte

● Aaron Joyner, Debbie Phyland and Chris Parker

● David Read and Amanda Palmer

● Robert, Michael and Anthony Tripolino

● Master of Ceremonies, Genevieve Morris

● Amy Lehpamer and Jensen Overend

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 Melbourne


The Best Columnists

ALL IN THE FAMILY Our Doors areRises Open! The Son

Theatre Extra with Julie Houghton at the National Theatre, St Kilda

In The West

RWBro Bob Jones, set to become the leader of nearly 13,000 Victorian Freemasons - not bad for a Western suburbs boy

● Bob and Kerry Jones At the Freemasons Victoria 2009 September Quarterly Communication, the Deputy Grand Master-Elect was announced. Fast forward to 2012 and Right Worshipful Brother Bob Jones is counting down the days (two, for the record) until he is installed as Grand Master of just under 13,000 Freemasons in Victoria. Bob is one of the most colourful incoming Grand Masters. Outside of Freemasonry, he has had a distinguished career in motor racing until his childhood sweetheart Kerry (pictured above) banned him from "risking his life". We're glad she did. Today, he is kept busy with his business Recar, one of Australia's biggest single owned repairers of heavy commercial vehicles, trucks, and trailers. Bob is certainly no stranger to Freemasonry. He joined the Craft (as Freemasonry is known) as a third generation Freemason and, in Masonic terms, a Lewis (son of a Freemason), he says he would have resigned from this "old man's club" after his father's death "except for the stream of people making sure that mum and the family were OK," says Bob. Sadly 18 months later, Bob's mother passed away and it was at this time that the spirited 19-year-old desperately needed direction and guidance. "I could have taken some undesirable paths," says Bob. "I got leadership and direction from the members of my Lodge and I became the Chaplain of Verdon Lodge, replacing my father which really marked the start of my journey; I thank them for that. I know those same men are really proud of my rise through the ranks over the years, as I am sure my father would be." Bob has never regretted the decision to become and remain a Freemason. He hopes to initiate his two sons, Robert and Cameron, in the future but maintains the time needs to be right for them. For now, Bob is excited and proud to be leading the Victorian constituency of the world's oldest fraternal organisations. Bob believes Freemasonry values are always in fashion. "The slow but steady breakdown of society's values within the community over the last few decades needs to be arrested; Freemasonry can and does play a big part in that." Next week's column: The March Masonic Month of Celebration continues. The Grand Installation of RWBro. Bob Jones will be broadcast LIVE on the internet. Register your details now at: Freemason_Live_Webcast_2012 Return to this link on the night of the Grand Installation, Friday March 23, and click on the 'launch webcast' button to access the video. This button will not be available until 7:20pm, 10 minutes before the live event commences at 7:30pm. To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, or attend upcoming public events, please visit or 'Like' our Facebook page, freemasonsvic

● From left: Kathryn and Cris Jubb, Fleur Long, Adam Long, Greg Long, Denise Meikle, Ash Long, Ali Meikle, Roger Perris ■ Long Shots had a quick trip to Horsham and back - on Saturday for a party to celebrate the engagement of niece Ali Meikle and Roger Perris. Relatives travelled from Grenfell, Walwa, Terang and Melbourne for the event. Ali is an agronomist, working with the Landmark group.

At Hawthorn

Long Shots


with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

● Dorothy Baker ■ The Hat Band was on the job at Hawthorn Town Hall on Saturday night for the final dance before the $18 million renovations. Gordon McKenzie tells Long Shots that more than 450 people were in attendance, celebrating an era of 30-40 years. A brief visit back in time with wall-to-wall dancers. Our friend Dorothy Baker was there, and performed about eight songs. Says Gordon: “She still has her voice and can certainly handle and work an audience.”

Clown Hall? ■ Do you get the feeling that Jeff Kennett is looking to become Lord Mayor of Melbourne?

■ One of the historic Brunswick Sports Club’s home grounds, Raeburn Reserve, has finally been retired after about 80 years. ■ St Andrews Hotel is back in local hands, with administrators relieved of their duties. ■ Is it just me ... or you do find it impossible to read the print in the latest smaller Yellow Pages?

Observer Treasury Thought For The Week ■ “Ambition never gets anywhere until it forms a partnership with work.”

Observer Curmudgeon ■ “A bachelor wishes he had as much fun as his married friends imagine he has.”

Text For The Week ■ “By wisdom a house is built, & through understanding it is established” - Proverbs 24:3

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

● John O’May and David Rogers-Smith Photo: Emily McCoy ■ La Cage Aux Folles is one of those musicals that invites you into its world and takes you on a journey that's full of drama, pathos, humour ... and great singing and dancing. The story centres on Georges and Albin, a gay couple who own a drag queen night club La Cage Aux Folles, and their relationship with Georges' son Jean-Michel, (the product of a one night fling) who has been raised by Georges and Albin. Now grown up, Jean-Michel becomes engaged to Anne, the daughter of a right wing politician and he wants to introduce the two sets of parents to each other. The scene is set for confusion, rejection, and eventual acceptance. With David Rogers-Smith as the 'transvestite homosexual' Albin, and John O'May as 'one plain old homosexual', Georges, in the lead roles, the show's success depends a great deal on the chemistry established between the two leads. It's something that Rogers-Smith and O'May work themselves into gradually, allowing us to get to know them as individuals and then as a relationship. If the measure of a successful musical is one where you come out humming the tunes, feeling great and caring about the characters, then Quirky Productions' La Cage Aux' Folles is a big success, and a big weekend audience loved it. Apart from a couple of minor quibbles about the interesting variety of accents in the St Tropez nightclub - I think I heard French, American, Australian, and a mix of all three at times - and a couple of tentative patches from an otherwise fine and dynamic orchestra, the show works well, and director Shaun Kingma, musical director Kirk Skinner and choreographers Tamara Finch and James Rooney have done a fine job. Special mention must go to the back stage crew who managed seamless scene changes and incredibly quick costume changes for David Rogers-Smith's transformation from Albin to drag queen Zsa Zsa. And costumes over all were stunning, so designer Isaac Lummis should take a bow, as should lighting designer Brad Alcock for creating the right mood on what was sometimes a fairly stark stage. The eight 'Les Cagelles', the all singing-all dancing drag queens in high heels, female tap shoes and sparkling frocks were impressive - finding blokes who can do all this must have been quite a task, but they hit their mark. Nick Kong put in a show stopping performance as Jacob the butler/maid, while Reece Budin as JeanMichel has a fine voice and natural acting ability. His true love Anne, Melanie Ott, fitted her role with charm and grace. Peter Nicholls and Gabrielle O'Brien enjoyed themselves hugely as the conservative in-laws, Monsieur and Madame Dindon, with O'Brien displaying great comic timing in the small role, and Nicholls showing us an excellent singing voice and a fine sour face as befits the role. Francesca Arena gave us a stylish performance as Jacqueline, the restaurant owner with a sense of naughty fun. However, the real star of the show had a cameo role as Jacqueline's small white dog, who was perfectly behaved and stole the show whenever it appeared. As Albin, Rogers-Smith, the man with the golden vocal chords, had the audience in the palm of his hand in the touching Act One finale and never let them go, treating them to some of the best singing in town. Alongside him, O'May's Georges was a perfectly judged performance that gave Georges the humanity and wit that drew the audience to him, as well as a fine baritone voice and plenty of stage charisma. Overall, a great production that is filling a current void for high quality musicals in our inner city theatres. ■ National Theatre until March 24. Bookings: 9525 4611 or Ticketek 132 849.

Free reader ads are available in the Melbourne Trader section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 13

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 15


Observer Life & Style


■ A seer’s prediction to Julius Caesar warning him to beware the Ides of March has forever meant it being a time of dark moods and unexpected things that you would rather not think about. March 15 is not to be taken lightly, and those who become complacent should take the warning and not treat it as any other day. I’m speaking from experience because we have had a spider home invasion. Their webs are everywhere. And when I say everywhere it really is a home invasion.

Yvonne’s Column

Why did they choose us?

■ I should have been alert when I was lying in bed and saw a long piece of web handing down from the ceiling. It wasn’t the norm in my house, but my long handle feather duster made short work of it, and I turned out the light and nestled down under the doona. I never dreamed that spiders were lurking and working overtime building webs on every conceivable space inside and outside the house. But why did they decide to choose my house for their new colony? I’m not frightened of spiders. I can take them or leave them, except of course, the species with a red stripe down its back, or a white dot on its tail. Charlotte, the hairy tarantula, lives somewhere near the entry hall. She has lived there for years and it’s only when she gives birth to about a hundred babies do we remember that she resides with us. We wouldn’t dream of getting rid of these little black critters and spraying the area, after all, who wants to be punished and come back as a spider in your next life.

Crazy manic webs

■ The webs are everywhere, and by the look of them and their assorted shapes I wonder if the spiders have got into my medication or are on something. Perhaps they have been distilling a hallucinatory drug from the trumpet flowers on our tree in the front garden. I did see a large dew speckled web stretched between branches the other morning. Hmmmm! I wouldn’t have minded if one of the webs spelt out a message for me as Charlotte did to save Wilbur in that delightful children’s story Charlotte’s Web, and I have to confess I cried buckets when I saw the movie with two of my Godchildren. But no matter how I tried I couldn’t make out anything from those crazy manic webs. I’m sitting at my desk and I keep thinking that a spider could crawl up my bare leg. So much so, I’ve put on long socks and slacks.

Spiders in every corner

■ When I was a young tacker, we had a weekend house. It would sometimes be a few weeks between visits. When we did go away for the holidays, the spiders had taken over and were living in every corner of the ceiling. They were big black ones and looked quite aggressive. Mum didn’t turn a hair. Out with the long handle duster and she whisked those hairy creatures out the door. She was such a cool cat and her way of treating the spiders as if they were just some other bother, meant that I grew up unafraid of them, but still treated them with respect.

Just Briefly ■ Oakeligh householders are the target of shonky tradesmen, promising to fix house roofs. The work has been sub-standard, and the company can no longer be contacted. ■ The Eastland shopping centre at Ringwood is about to finalise a $500 mlllion upgrade with a town square and library, that it handover to the local Maroonfah Council. ■ Unlicensed driver Ruslan Iksanov, 36, of Bentleigh East, has been fined $2000, and banned from driving for four years.

some great exhibits for me to see, but I couldn’t. I kept on imagining what would happen if that huge python got loose I only ever once saw Mum fazed. At our holiday house during the school hols, my schoolmates and I had been catching tadpoles in the local dam. It was enormous fun, even though mum would be sitting on the side of the dam making sure we didn’t do something silly like deciding to go for a swim. However, we trooped home with our jars filled with water and the tadpoles swimming madly and put them in the spare bedroom, and didn’t give them another thought.

News Briefs Fined $15,000

Why have we been cursed?

with Yvonne Lawrence

Some of my school friends, who would often spend the holidays with us at our holiday house, were sometimes a little bit nervous if one of the critters was lurking in a corner of the ceiling when we arrived.

My neck hair stood up ■ Mum solved the problem by putting our beds all in the one bedroom, and we were so busy giggling and making plans for the next day a whole tribe of spiders wouldn’t have raised a hair. Mum would cook terrific holiday food and she’d have homemade milk ice blocks in the frig always ready to go. I feel so sorry for people who are frightened at the mere thought of a spider, although I must admit that I did have a bit of a turn when I saw the hairy hand-size bird eating spider at the zoo. It’s the stuff of nightmares. I do appreciate how they feel because I have felt the hair stand up on the back of neck when I’m anywhere near a snake or lizard. The Reptile House at the Melbourne Zoo houses snakes by the dozens, in every size, shape and brand.

Mum was fazed - once! ■ Spending the day at the zoo doing some research, I was fortunate in being taken to see every animal up close – except the Reptile House. The moment I set foot in the place I could smell the snakes, and there was no way I was going any further. No coaxing from the head keeper could get my feet to go in the right direction. I did feel a bit guilty because he had planned

■ A few weeks later we again went to our weekend house, and when Mum opened the door, frogs jumping everywhere greeted her. It was like the creatures from the black lagoon and so was mums mood. I secretly thought it was enormous fun catching the frogs and putting them in a bucket to take back to the dam. It’s a shame that kids aren’t allowed to catch tadpoles anymore. It’s a great lesson to watch them turn into frogs. I can understand why it has been banned, and I hope that frogs return in huge numbers now that the drought has broken. I still remember the fun. But I digress. Why have we been cursed with spiders and their webs? They have even built their webs around every pane of the multi pane windows on the outside of the studio. And they seem to attack at night. It looks like an over enthusiastic special effects team practising for a horror movie has been at work overnight.

■ Sri Lankan caterer Jayasiri Hewagedon, of Endeavour Hills, has been fined $15,000 after a gastro-enteritis outbreak at a Springvale event where 28 people fell ill. Food samples showed a high level of bacteria. Hewagedon runs a Stud Rd grocery store.

Blood pressure soars


■ Now how can you possibly not be aware of the Ides of March? And if you want further proof that the 15th can be a day of disaster, let me tell you about my own personal big disaster. I had just written my column and was ready to file to our Editor, Ash, when the screen went black and I lost the lot – totally vanishing into the ether. Only those of you who use a computer will know the feeling of utter despair when you lose hours of work in the blink of an eye. Peter gave me coffee and counselling, and I set about rewriting my column. I was so tired I couldn’t remember what I had written, and it will be interesting when the column is retrieved some time in the future to compare what I wrote. Ah, the wonders of modern technology. It’s great when it works, but when it goes haywire it sends the blood pressure soaring. - Yvonne Contact: Melbourne Observer, P.O.Box 1278, Research. 3095

■ Din Sin Landfill at Kingston, in Melbourne’s south-east, has been fined $6000 for failingt to cover waste properly and creating a stink across areas inlcuding Dingley Village, Clayton South and Clarinda.


Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

■ Victoria Police have cracked down on a band of young gangs after a series of hold-ups in the south-east. Youths have been arreested over incidents at businesses in Braeside, Springvale, Keysborough, Moorabbin, Clayton and Windsor. The offenders boasted of being ‘gangsters’.

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

■ I met Betty McQuade only once, at the Preston Town Hall for the 41st anniversary of The Thunderbirds in 1998. In my mind's eye I can still see the crowd gathered around the stage that night listening to Betty singing Midnight Bus ,it was like they were entranced by her beautiful singing voice. My only bad memory of the night was that I recorded a radio interview with famous radio disc jockey Stan Rofe but the tape did not come out. But it was great to interview Betty and finally meet her. I had been a long time fan. Betty McQuade had sung at the original Rock and Roll dance at the Preston Town Hall in 1961 working with The Thunderbirds, Billy Owens, Noel Watson and The Cherokees. Betty McQuade was born in Paisley, Scotland, in 1941. The family immigrated to Brisbane in 1949. Betty always wanted to be a singer. When she left school she worked in an office job. In 1955 Betty won a local talent quest in Brisbane and went on to perform at the famous Cloudland venue which was then owned by Ivan Dayman. Betty McQuade appeared with Johnny O'Keefe and Col Joye at Festival Hall in Brisbane. She moved to Melbourne in 1960 to pursue her singing career. Luckily her timing could not have been better and Betty was soon singing at local dances backed by The Thunderbirds.

Whatever Happened To ... Betty McQuade By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM My mate, Peter Robinson, was bass player and also vocalist for The Thunderbirds. In the early 1950s Peter and I lived in Gilmour St, Coburg, and we played together as youngsters before Peter's family moved to Pascoe Vale. In 1961 Betty recorded the John D. Loudermilk composition Midnight Bus for Astor Records. The song went to number five on the hit parade in Melbourne but it wasn't a hit in Perth and Brisbane until it was re-released on the Go label in 1965. When the teenage television series The Go Show began on ATV0 in 1964, Betty was a regular performer on the program. Some of Betty's recordings included Blue

● Betty McQuade Photo: Tony Griffiths Train, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby and You Make Me Mad. She also released the EP - Betty McQuade Sings. Betty recorded other songs during her career but none reached the heights of Midnight Bus.

She became lead vocalist with another group, The Premiers and continued to sing at local dances but decided to retire and return to Brisbane in 1968. Betty was back in Melbourne working in the Myer’s accounts department during the 1970s and 1980s. She took part in many revival concerts over the years and still had that magic sound onstage. Over the years Betty had several long term boyfriends but never got around to getting married. Betty McQuade passed away at her Brisbane home on Boxing Day 2011 and her sister Rachel commented in the obituary notice, "No more pain now Bet." John D Loudermilk paid a great compliment to Betty McQuade when he said her version of Midnight Bus was his favourite. Betty had told me that whenever she sang Midnight Bus there would be three generations gathered around the stage - those that were there when it was a hit in 1961, their children and their children's children. Not a bad legacy for this lovely lady of Rock and Roll in Australia. - Kevin Trask

The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & Phil- Sundays at 8.30pm on 3AW That's Entertainment 96.5FM Sundays at 12 Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet. To listen, go to and follow prompts.


■ Whilst I haven't walked along much of its 223 kms, the Larapinta Trail is an icon of Central Australia. It starts in Alice Springs at the Old Telegraph Station and meanders through some famous landmarks such as Simpsons Gap, Standley Chasm and Glen Helen, finishing off at Mt Sonder. I've briefly walked along part of the Trail near Birthday Gap - actually the dry bed of the Hugh River. My mate Ozzie and I spent a long time trying to find this spot, which he'd visited about 20 years before and, track after track, dead-end after deadend, and a couple of days in low-range 4wd, it finally greeted us. The pristine sandy river bed, the towering Ghost Gum clad cliffs on either side, and the Namatjira purple haze in the distance! Now, a group formed last year, Friends of the Larapinta Trail, is seeking new members. It was formed to look after the trail, help with track maintenance, indulge in ‘open days’ and take guided walks. So, if you want to become part of this iconic experience, it will cost $25, and for that you get an e-newsletter, free admission to all events, and a membership card! ■ For a young Aboriginal man to leave Central Australia and to be plonked in the heart of Melbourne is a culture shock which few of us could imagine. Many of them grow up in town camps, residing in ‘once-were-houses’ with sometimes 20 or so other occupants. Generally they're just ‘shells’, with just bare walls and no facilities. Filthy mattresses and blankets lie on the concrete floor. And mangy camp dogs run everywhere and share the beds. Often the residents have given up on the ‘house’ and just moved the bedding outside. Many of the occupants never wash themselves or their clothes, which quickly soak up many and varied bodily fluids. The aroma of all the above is generally overpowering. Added to this are the complicated issues of tribal and family groupings and connections and the reluctance of many parents to send their kids to school. And this is before even contemplating the influences of perpetual

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444

Kulgera, they would flit out and devour any left-over morsels on my vehicle. Of course insects are far more prolific in the Centre than Melbourne, so often there was a veritable feast caked onto the car! And on other occasions Keith and Angie McGowan would enjoy coffee in Todd Mall when the birds would land on the table and attack the paper sugar sticks, pecking them open, greedily consuming the contents . Cheeky little blighters! ■ Last weekend a 4WD full of footy fans were swept away at the flooded Finke River crossing at Glen Helen, and had to swim for it. I had a moment of my own a few years ago on the same river, at a different spot. We were due at the Rock at 9pm for dinner, so left Alice at 5 -plenty of time! However, shortly after departure, the heavens opened. By the time we reached the Finke , 100 kms on, it was pitch black and we were crawling along. The highway rises steeply after the crossing, and it became a foot-deep rushing torrent. I tentatively steered the Patrol into this, to the plateau at the top of the rise. The whole area had turned into a virtual sea. The rain was pouring down so heavily that I could only see for a couple of metres beyond the bonnet. The water was still about a foot deep, so I couldn't see the road - I just stayed between the white posts. I couldn't pull over off the road, and I dared not stop in case a road train rearended me. And lightning was flashing all around, striking trees just off into the scrub. Pretty scary! We were hours late, and the rain had collapsed the restaurant roof, so we missed dinner!

booze and fighting and petrol sniffing. Granted this is the worst case scenario, but unfortunately often the norm. (When will authorities realise that handfuls of money haven't fixed anything? Education, not only in numeracy and literacy, but social mores to lead to self-esteem, will work.) So, when an Aboriginal youth is thrown into the maelstrom of Melbourne, he's either been a part of the above, or has witnessed it around him all his life. No wonder such individuals, worthy people just like the rest of us, but who haven't had our opportunities, need careful guidance. ■ As opposed to ‘Senior Moments’, I used to call them ‘Territory Mo■ When I drive along past Rod La- ments’, eccentric events where the biver Arena, and stop at the Swan St zarre is basically the norm. lights, a bold little mudlark often deThere has been a gentleman wanscends on my car, pecking at any er- dering about Alice Springs masturbatrant insects which have been lodged ing in people's front yards. The first in the grille and under the wipers. incident occurred when Nicky Gallas This often happened to me in the was innocently chatting to her daughCentre, but with cheeky indigenous ter and a man walked up to them with birds, the Yellow-throated Miners. his trousers around his ankles, in the Whenever I stopped for fuel at process of ‘self gratification’.

● Yellow-Throated Miners Fortunately the husband set the dog ‘Wanker of the Year’! He had been on him, but he just moved next door, apprehended by NT Police. and continued with his activities. They were first alerted to a Another incident followed shortly misdemeanour as he sped by at about thereafter when a gentleman knocked 150kmh. on a neighbouring door and, when deHowever, upon interception, it was nied entry, proceeded to remove his discovered that he had set up a video clothes and again fondled himself. camera and was in the process of filmWhich reminds me of an incident ing himself in the act of ‘gratification’ a couple of years ago when the local whilst speeding along. paper reported on another gentleman, Indeed a wanker! and wondered, in huge front page - Nick Le Souef print, whether this individual was ‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer




With John Pasquarelli

■ The circumstances surrounding an indigenous football case are an indictment of the bungling and do-gooding of various governments over decades, not to mention the billions of taxpayers’ money tipped down the drain trying to sort out the problems of just on 2 per cent of our population. It's 2012 and we have tribalism, sorcery, payback and English as a second language in many parts of Aboriginal Australia. The Aboriginal industry has waxed fat at the expense of all of us and Aborigines on remote settlements are the victims. I visited Yuendumu and Papunya in 1996 and both were a shambles then. Much of the fault lies with the government instrumentalities and the bureaucrats, black, white and between - bureaucrats run the show these days, not our elected MPs. My experience derived from visits to many Aboriginal settlements between 1959 and 1996 and a recent return to Coober Pedy, tells me that too many of those employed in the Aboriginal industry are not fit to properly perform under their job descriptions. We need state and federal ministers who can impose their will on the departments that run Aboriginal affairs and get the show back on the road. A dose of common sense is required but you know that saying? - John Pasquarelli:

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 17

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Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Observer Readers’ Club

100 Years Ago The Independent (Footscray) Saturday, March 23, 1912 APREMATERNITYCLAIM SOME HARD SWEARING. ANORDERMADE. John Bryant, 23 years of age, was the defendant to a claim by Myfanwi Jones for prematernity expenses at the local court on Monday. Mr Woodfull.appeared for complain aint, and Mr Jas. Hall for defendant, who denied paternity. Myfanwi Jones stated that she was 19 years of age, and had been employed at.the rope works. Sihe had been keeping company with defendant for 3 years, and he was responsible for her condition. She told defendant of her condition, and he gave her medicine to take. She had gone out with other young men since, but no misconduct had occurred with them. Defendant ceased seeing her in November last. Mrs Almond, sister of complainant, gave evidence that she had seen her sister and defendant together on many occaions. Defendant practically had the run of the house, and it was a common thing for complainant and he to be sitting together on the front verandah. Ernest Jones, brother of complain ant, said he had seen defendant and his sister in compromising circum stances at half-past 12 on a night in April last. Mr Hall: Did you give defendant a hiding ' Defendant: No, but le may get it yet. Why did you not act then?-I did not want to make the neighbors as wise as myself. Defendant said he was not responsible for complainant's condition. He had been with her 'only twice in the last 18 months- on July 13th and October 18th, and had never been on the front verandah with her. He gave her no drugs. Defendant was ordered to pay. £7 7s into court, to go to complainant if a child were born before July 30, and to find a surety of £20 for same within 14 days, with £2 2s costs. A stay of seven days was granted.

Melbourne Photo Flashback

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● Barkly Street, Footscray, featuring Hooper’s Emporium. Circa 1910

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■ I have learnt that lazy days are good for the soul.


Word Of The Week

■ Wednesday, March 21. Seeker Keith Potger was born in Sri Lanka 71 years ago. Comedian Brian Dawe is 64. MMM producer Jay Mueller celebrates today. Happy birthday to Helen Brophy of Lilydale. And best wishes to Norma Barnes of Seville. ■ Thursday, March 22. Businessman Per Nixon of Orbost is 82. ■ Friday, March 23. Film producer Patricia Lovell is 80 today. We remember the late Vera Hodges of Yenda; well known to 3AW overnight audiences, she was born in 1921. Dr Tim Long of Wodonga is 26. ■ Saturday, March 24. Cricketer Dean Jones was born in Coburg in 1961 (51). Libby Gorr, recently returned to Melbourne from Sydney, is 47; Libby is now working at 774 ABC at weekends. Footballer Glenn Archer is 39. It’s Serge Thomann’s birthday ■ Sunday, March 25. Comedienne Hudith Lucy is 44; she was born in Perth. Actor Peter O’Brien was born in Murray Bridge, SA, in 1960 (52). Jeanette Martin of Mill Park tops our birthday honours. ■ Monday, March 26. Singer Jon English is 63; he was born in London. Radio broadcaster Dennis Commetti is 62; he was born in Geraldton, WA. Businessman Clive Palmer was born in Melbourne in 1954 (58). ■ Tuesday, March 27. Boxer Johnny Famechon is 67; he was born in France in 1945. Happy birthday Julie Scott.

■ Snup (verb) - to underpay for something extremely valuable, taking advantage of a seller’s ignornace.

Trivia Challenge ■ In which country was the Titanic launched?

Answer: Ireland

THe Way We Were

Your Stars with Christina La Cross Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) A trip to a professional person is likely. Your mental levels should be particularly high. A new acquaintance could make a move to get to know you better and an important bond is formed. Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) Some sort of material gain is likely. You appear to spend more time than usual in the company of younger people. Someone you knew well in the past crops up, possibly for a financial reason. Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You find yourself moving in new circles and should make the effort to get to know people. A forced trip turns out to be your highlight of the month, don't be afraid to go with the flow. Cancer (June 22 - July 23) A relationship which has been rather fragile recently gets on to a firmer footing. Some unsettlement is forecast in the domestic circle. Don't get involved if it's not your argument Cancer. Geminis can keep your secret for you! Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) Your motto should be, if a job's worth doing, it is worth doing well. There should be little to impede your progress other than laziness so make a determined effort to make the most of today. Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23) There's very little to hold you back today Virgo, as those around you are willing to help you take both personal and professional matters to a new and higher level. Seduction links to a phone call. Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23) Venus promises you fun and passion. All you have to do is bring that confidence to the fore, which I know is bubbling away. Believe in yourself and your dreams can, and will, come true. Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22) A good time to make some changes to your personal life. You've spent far too long looking after other people and not enough looking after yourself. Start as you mean to go on from today. Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) Pay special attention to your appearance today. You'll be glad you did when you see who you'll be bumping into. Telling lies in business will come back on you. Avoid telling them, whatever the benefit seems. Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Don't be backwards in coming forward or you'll miss out. There should be no risk of boredom as there probably will not be enough time to do all that you'd planned. Prioritise sooner rather than later. Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) You become interested in something new which could end up costing you a lot of money but doesn't have to. Find out about any corners you can cut before you start splashing the cash today Aquarius. Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20) Good news is indicated now which should help to put your mind at rest. Try not to be upset about ties which are being severed now as new and improved ones are about to be made.

● Lambs Necks ■ Observer reader Betty Jeffrey of Melba Hwy, Glenburn, sends her Lambs Necks recipe, requested by columnist Yvonne Lawrence. 1 Lamb’s neck per person 1 chopped onion 1 sliced apple Lqiuid to cover (try Coca-Cola, Chicken Delight or plain water which will need thickening when meat is cooked) ■ Place necks in covered casserole, add onion and apple, and liquid and cook at 220°C for 2 hours or until tender. Potatoes, pumpkins, sweet potato etc can be cooked on top of necks for last hour. Betty says: “I bought the first lambs necks I cooked like this at the Preston Market, but most butchers have them. The dogs enjoy the leftover bones.”

Please Remember ■ “Somewhere, there’s someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely, remember, it’s true: “Somebody, somewhere, is thinking of you.”

Funny Signs

Cheerios ■ Suzanne of Docklands sends a cheerio and new upgraded ‘access all areas’ ID passes to Kate Peck and Matthew Anderson

■ Seen in a Clayton shop: “Everyone brings joy here. Some when they enter. Others when they leave.”

Bumper Sticker ■ “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. By then it was too late.”

Did You Know? ■ Travelling at the speed of light (300,000kma-second), it would take about 25,000 years to reach either the rim or the centre of the Milky Way. ■ It takes the Earth’s Sun 250 million years to complete one rotation of the Milk Way. ■ Saturn is the size of 764 planets the size of Earth.

● Kate Peck with Matthew Anderson

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 19

Victorian Rural News

Celebrating 50 years of Farm World

■ Now in it’s 50th year, Farm World is one of the biggest field day events in Australia. Being held this week at Lardner Park, near Warragul, it attracts visitors from throughout Victoria, southeast of South Australia and Tasmania. It has grown to be Victoria's largest regional agricultural event, attracting more the 650 exhibitors and 50,000 people through the gates over the four days. Farm World allows exhibitors to launch new products, generate sales and leads, highlight industry changes and provide an opportunity to develop and maintain contacts. Theme for 2012 is ‘50 years of Farm World’. It will showcase and celebrate the progression and sucess of this iconic event over the last 50 years. The 50th Anniversary of Farm World coincides the 'Australian Year of the Farmer'. This initiative highlights the importance of the rural sector to all Australians and its place in our economy. The official opening of Farm World will be conducted by Premier Ted Baillieu on Friday. Events include the presentation of the Mobil Delvac Best Farm Machinery/Automotive Stand' award There will also be the Commonwealth Bank ‘Best Agricultural Stand' award The local Baw Baw Shire Council will recognise the Best General Interest Stand' award The Tractor & Machinery Association of Australia will present the Farm World - Machine of the Year

This Week ■ Thursday, March 22 - Sunday March 25 ■ Thursday - Saturday 8.30am 5.00pm ■ Sunday 8.30am - 4.00pm Admission ■ Adults $17 ■ Children (5-18yrs) $5 upon presentation of a secondary student card ■ Children (0-4 yrs) Free ■ Concession $12 (holders of centre link full concession cards or full veterans concession cards only) ■ Family Pass (2Adults & 4 Children) $38 ■ Gold Pass (admits 2 Adults for all 4 days) $50 ■ A V/Line bus service will run between Drouin Railway Station and Lardner Park throughout the day. awards including the ■ ‘Commonwealth Bank Best Unpowered Machine' and the 'Mobil Delvac Best Powered Machine' ■ 'Commonwealth Bank Best Innovation in Agriculture Award' which recognises a product or service that makes a significant contribution towards improvements in farm productivity. A Farm World feature is the Pasture Seed, Fertiliser and Irrigation area. This will eb a continuous display

over the four days of the event. Visitors will also be able to see a focus on information and techology in the Lardner Park Exhibition Centre. Media personalities Rex Hunt and Dr Turf will present their Off The Bench program during Farm World. The Australian Stock Horse demonstrations will be staged twice daily, and a children’s nursery will be available at 9am, 11am, 1pm and 3pm. There will be a large range of farm animals including pigs, calves,ducks, and ponies.

The 'Animals of Oz' are this year's feature exhibitor and kids can interact with pythons, lizards, marsupials, crocodiles, and birds. One of the favourite displays is the historic machinery area, with a range of historic farm machinery coordinated by the Baw Baw Old Engine and Auto Club. The creative cooking team from Pivot Stove & Heating will be conducting cooking demonstrations on the ESSE wood stoves throughout the day.

Farm World is held at Lardner Park which is located one hourss drive east of Melbourne, Lardner Park has an extensive range of internal and external facilities, including the new $5 million Lardner Park Exhibition Centre which offers a range of facilities. 155 Burnt Store Road, Lardner PO Box 366, Warragul Vic3820 Phone:(03) 5626 1373

Page 20 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Victorian Rural News

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 21

Victorian Real Estate News


847 Axedale-Toolleen Rd, TOOLLEEN 3 BEDROOM - 2 BEDROOM - 2 CARS ON 10 ACRES

Open plan living area, inbuilt wood fire, ceiling fans, main bedroom with walk-in robe and 2 with BIR’s. Kitchen has electric cooking, DW and large bench. 1.9m verandah surrounds the house, covered outdoor area overlooks the land. 90,000 lt water tank, large dam, automatic sprinklers and 9 x 6 m shed are just some of the gfeatures this home has to offer.

PRICE: $400,000 View at ID: 2009536085 CALL FOR INSPECTION - 0419 843 489


Page 22 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Victorian Real Estate News


Northwood Near Seymour

Approx. 65 acre (26.43h)

$220,000 neg. Reluctant sale of beautiful block with large dam, natives, wildflowers and grass trees, lovely views.

Call Owner

0431 521 993

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 23

Real Estate News

Page 24 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Melbourne Seniors News

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 25

Melbourne Seniors News

Page 26 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Geelong Weekly

Geelong lines up for 2012 season ■ Premier team, the Geelong Cats, line up on Saturday next week (Mar. 31) against Fremantle, in the split Round 1 of the 2012 Australian Football League competition. Co-founder of Australian football, Thomas Wentworth Wills, recommended the formation of the Geelong Football Club in July 1859 making it the second oldest continuously existing club of any code in the world, the Melbourne Football Club credited as the oldest, formed earlier the same year. Wills was also involved in the formation of that club. It is believed that rough and tough diggers on the Victorian goldfields played football with no formal rules in the early 1850s. They came from all corners of the world, including Wales, England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Germany, America and China. They would conjure the best rules available, anything they were familiar with; whatever they used it produced a game that was fierce and chaotic, many a tussle settled with strength and pluck and with 20 or more aside, flying boots, fists and elbows produced bone shattering results, but no 'beg pardons' asked for or given. Wills could see a future for this new manly sport and set about doing something by openly expressing his ideas and focusing public attention to it when he sent a letter to Bell's Life in

● The Geelong Cats won the AFL 2011 premiership Victoria dated July 10, 1858, which Kilda, Albert Park, Hotham (North was to be the founding document of Melbourne), Essendon and East Australian football and aimed at ad- Melbourne, formed the Victorian dressing the fitness of the cricketers Football Association (VFA), the first during the winter months. official controlling body for the game A legendary letter, written by a man of Australian Football. who was a giant of his time as a Geelong Football Club itself also footballer and a cricketer, three times experienced a number of changes durfootball champion of the colony and a ing the period, moving to Corio Oval great club man for Geelong. from the Argyle Paddock in 1878 and As a consequence the game pro- becoming known as the Pivotonians gressed through the 1860s and by 1877 – a reference to Geelong being the it had attracted such a following that pivotal point for all shipping and railmore than 130 clubs were operating way routes in the region. around Melbourne and Geelong, howPreviously, Geelong Football Club ever Australian football was about to had been known as the Seagulls, with undergo a major restructure. the dark blue and white striped uniEight of the strongest clubs, form representing the blue water of Geelong, Melbourne, Carlton, St Corio Bay and the white seagulls that

inhabited the area. The developments of 1877 signalled the start of a golden era for the Geelong Football Club with seven VFA premierships in the following nine years. However, by the early-1890s, the VFA had again grown beyond its means, with the stronger clubs having to provide financial assistance to support other clubs and Geelong, led by the visionary Charles Brownlow, began agitating for another major administrative change. And so it was that Geelong, Melbourne, Essendon, South Melbourne, Collingwood and Fitzroy decided to break away from the VFA and form a new body to be known as the Victorian Football League (VFL). Carlton and St Kilda accepted an invitation to join. The inaugural VFL match took place in 1897 but it was not until 1925 that Geelong Football Club managed to replicate its VFA success by winning a premiership in the new league by defeating Collingwood in the grand final by 10 points under captain coach Cliff Rankin. In the interim, the club had assumed a new nickname, the Cats, which was adopted after a spate of losses early in the 1923 season prompted a cartoonist to suggest Geelong needed a black cat to bring it good luck whilst in 1924 centreman Edward ‘Carji’ Greeves won the in-

augural Brownlow Medal, an award for the fairest and best player in the League, instituted in memory of Charles Brownlow, who had died in January of that year. Geelong continued to perform well in the late-1920s and after making the Grand Final the year before, the 1931 team featuring Greeves and other club legends such as Reg Hickey and George 'Jocka' Todd defeated Richmond by 20 points to win another flag. Reg Hickey also featured in the club's 1937 grand final win against Collingwood when his master coaching moves helped turn the match around in front of the-then record crowd of 88,500. The early 1940s were a tumultuous time for Geelong Football Club, with the club moving from Corio Oval to Kardinia Park at the start of the 1941 season, then being forced to withdraw from the league in 1942 and 1943 due to travel restrictions and a lack of players during the war. The club's absence during the war years impacted on its results for the remainder of the decade, but in 1951, a thrilling grand final saw Geelong hold on to defeat a resurgent Essendon by 11 points under the coaching of the great Reg Hickey. The Cats also won flags in 1963 (under legendary coach Bob Davis), 2007, 2009 and 2011, now coached by Chris Scott.

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 27

Observer Classic Books


rv se US N Ob N IO BO CT SE

Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER 25 - continued

“But that expression of ‘violently in love’ is so hackneyed, so doubtful, so indefinite, that it gives me very little idea. It is as often applied to feelings which arise from a half-hour’s acquaintance, as to a real, strong attachment. Pray, how VIOLENT WAS Mr. Bingley’s love?” “I never saw a more promising inclination; he was growing quite inattentive to other people, and wholly engrossed by her. Every time they met, it was more decided and remarkable. At his own ball he offended two or three young ladies, by not asking them to dance; and I spoke to him twice myself, without receiving an answer. Could there be finer symptoms? Is not general incivility the very essence of love?” “Oh, yes! — of that kind of love which I suppose him to have felt. Poor Jane! I am sorry for her, because, with her disposition, she may not get over it immediately. It had better have happened to YOU, Lizzy; you would have laughed yourself out of it sooner. But do you think she would be prevailed upon to go back with us? Change of scene might be of service — and perhaps a little relief from home may be as useful as anything.” Elizabeth was exceedingly pleased with this proposal, and felt persuaded of her sister’s ready acquiescence. “I hope,” added Mrs. Gardiner, “that no consideration with regard to this young man will influence her. We live in so different a part of town, all our connections are so different, and, as you well know, we go out so little, that it is very improbable that they should meet at all, unless he really comes to see her.” “And THAT is quite impossible; for he is now in the custody of his friend, and Mr. Darcy would no more suffer him to call on Jane in such a part of London! My dear aunt, how could you think of it? Mr. Darcy may perhaps have HEARD of such a place as Gracechurch Street, but he would hardly think a month’s ablution enough to cleanse him from its impurities, were he once to enter it; and depend upon it, Mr. Bingley never stirs without him.” “So much the better. I hope they will not meet at all. But does not Jane correspond with his sister? SHE will not be able to help calling.” “She will drop the acquaintance entirely.” But in spite of the certainty in which Elizabeth affected to place this point, as well as the still more interesting one of Bingley’s being withheld from seeing Jane, she felt a solicitude on the subject which convinced her, on examination, that she did not consider it entirely hopeless. It was possible, and sometimes she thought it probable, that his affection might be reanimated, and the influence of his friends successfully combated by the more natural influence of Jane’s attractions. Miss Bennet accepted her aunt’s invitation with pleasure; and the Bingleys were no otherwise in her thoughts at the same time, than as she hoped by Caroline’s not living in the same house with her brother, she might occasionally spend a morning with her, without any danger of seeing him. The Gardiners stayed a week at Longbourn; and what with the Phillipses, the Lucases, and the officers, there was not a day without its engagement. Mrs. Bennet had so carefully provided for the entertainment of her brother and sister, that they did not once sit down to a family dinner. When the engagement was for home, some of the officers always made part of it — of which officers Mr. Wickham was sure to be one; and on these occasion, Mrs. Gardiner, rendered suspicious by Elizabeth’s warm commendation, narrowly observed them both. Without supposing them, from what she saw, to be very seriously in love, their preference of each other was plain enough to make her a little uneasy; and she resolved to speak to Elizabeth on the subject before she left Hertfordshire, and represent to her the imprudence of encouraging such an attachment. To Mrs. Gardiner, Wickham had one means of affording pleasure, unconnected with his general powers. About ten or a dozen years ago, before her marriage, she had spent a considerable time in that very part of Derbyshire to which

● Jane Austen he belonged. They had, therefore, many acquaintances in common; and though Wickham had been little there since the death of Darcy’s father, it was yet in his power to give her fresher intelligence of her former friends than she had been in the way of procuring. Mrs. Gardiner had seen Pemberley, and known the late Mr. Darcy by character perfectly well. Here consequently was an inexhaustible subject of discourse. In comparing her recollection of Pemberley with the minute description which Wickham could give, and in bestowing her tribute of praise on the character of its late possessor, she was delighting both him and herself. On being made acquainted with the present Mr. Darcy’s treatment of him, she tried to remember some of that gentleman’s reputed disposition when quite a lad which might agree with it, and was confident at last that she recollected having heard Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy formerly spoken of as a very proud, ill-natured boy.

CHAPTER 27 With no greater events than these in the Longbourn family, and otherwise diversified by little beyond the walks to Meryton, sometimes dirty and sometimes cold, did January and February pass away. March was to take Elizabeth to Hunsford. She had not at first thought very seriously of going thither; but Charlotte, she soon found, was depending on the plan and she gradually learned to consider it herself with greater pleasure as well as greater certainty. Absence had increased her desire of seeing Charlotte again, and weakened her disgust of Mr. Collins. There was novelty in the scheme, and as, with such a mother and such uncompanionable sisters, home could not be faultless, a little change was not unwelcome for its own sake. The journey would moreover give her a peep at Jane; and, in short, as the time drew near, she would have been very sorry for any delay. Everything, however, went on smoothly, and was finally settled according to Charlotte’s first sketch. She

was to accompany Sir William and his second daughter. The improvement of spending a night in London was added in time, and the plan became perfect as plan could be. The only pain was in leaving her father, who would certainly miss her, and who, when it came to the point, so little liked her going, that he told her to write to him, and almost promised to answer her letter. The farewell between herself and Mr. Wickham was perfectly friendly; on his side even more. His present pursuit could not make him forget that Elizabeth had been the first to excite and to deserve his attention, the first to listen and to pity, the first to be admired; and in his manner of bidding her adieu, wishing her every enjoyment, reminding her of what she was to expect in Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and trusting their opinion of her — their opinion of everybody — would always coincide, there was a solicitude, an interest which she felt must ever attach her to him with a most sincere regard; and she parted from him convinced that, whether married or single, he must always be her model of the amiable and pleasing. Her fellow-travellers the next day were not of a kind to make her think him less agreeable. Sir William Lucas, and his daughter Maria, a goodhumoured girl, but as empty-headed as himself, had nothing to say that could be worth hearing, and were listened to with about as much delight as the rattle of the chaise. Elizabeth loved absurdities, but she had known Sir William’s too long. He could tell her nothing new of the wonders of his presentation and knighthood; and his civilities were worn out, like his information. It was a journey of only twenty-four miles, and they began it so early as to be in Gracechurch Street by noon. As they drove to Mr. Gardiner’s door, Jane was at a drawing-room window watching their arrival; when they entered the passage she was there to welcome them, and Elizabeth, looking earnestly in her face, was pleased to see it healthful and lovely as ever. On the stairs were a troop of little boys and girls,

whose eagerness for their cousin’s appearance would not allow them to wait in the drawingroom, and whose shyness, as they had not seen her for a twelvemonth, prevented their coming lower. All was joy and kindness. The day passed most pleasantly away; the morning in bustle and shopping, and the evening at one of the theatres. Elizabeth then contrived to sit by her aunt. Their first object was her sister; and she was more grieved than astonished to hear, in reply to her minute inquiries, that though Jane always struggled to support her spirits, there were periods of dejection. It was reasonable, however, to hope that they would not continue long. Mrs. Gardiner gave her the particulars also of Miss Bingley’s visit in Gracechurch Street, and repeated conversations occurring at different times between Jane and herself, which proved that the former had, from her heart, given up the acquaintance. Mrs. Gardiner then rallied her niece on Wickham’s desertion, and complimented her on bearing it so well. “But my dear Elizabeth,” she added, “what sort of girl is Miss King? I should be sorry to think our friend mercenary.” “Pray, my dear aunt, what is the difference in matrimonial affairs, between the mercenary and the prudent motive? Where does discretion end, and avarice begin? Last Christmas you were afraid of his marrying me, because it would be imprudent; and now, because he is trying to get a girl with only ten thousand pounds, you want to find out that he is mercenary.” “If you will only tell me what sort of girl Miss King is, I shall know what to think.” “She is a very good kind of girl, I believe. I know no harm of her.” “But he paid her not the smallest attention till her grandfather’s death made her mistress of this fortune.” “No — what should he? If it were not allowable for him to gain MY affections because I had no money, what occasion could there be for making love to a girl whom he did not care about, and who was equally poor?” “But there seems an indelicacy in directing his attentions towards her so soon after this event.” “A man in distressed circumstances has not time for all those elegant decorums which other people may observe. If SHE does not object to it, why should WE?” “HER not objecting does not justify HIM. It only shows her being deficient in something herself — sense or feeling.” “Well,” cried Elizabeth, “have it as you choose. HE shall be mercenary, and SHE shall be foolish.” “No, Lizzy, that is what I do NOT choose. I should be sorry, you know, to think ill of a young man who has lived so long in Derbyshire.” “Oh! if that is all, I have a very poor opinion of young men who live in Derbyshire; and their intimate friends who live in Hertfordshire are not much better. I am sick of them all. Thank Heaven! I am going to-morrow where I shall find a man who has not one agreeable quality, who has neither manner nor sense to recommend him. Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all.” “Take care, Lizzy; that speech savours strongly of disappointment.” Before they were separated by the conclusion of the play, she had the unexpected happiness of an invitation to accompany her uncle and aunt in a tour of pleasure which they proposed taking in the summer. “We have not determined how far it shall carry us,” said Mrs. Gardiner, “but, perhaps, to the Lakes.” No scheme could have been more agreeable to Elizabeth, and her acceptance of the invitation was most ready and grateful. “Oh, my dear, dear aunt,” she rapturously cried, “what delight! what felicity! You give me fresh life and vigour. Adieu to disappointment and spleen. What are young men to rocks and mountains? Oh! what hours of transport we shall spend! And when we DO return, it shall not be like other travellers, without being able to give one accurate idea of anything. We WILL know where we have gone — we WILL recollect what we have seen.

Continued on Page 28

Page 28 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Observer Classic Books

From Page 27 Lakes, mountains, and rivers shall not be jumbled together in our imaginations; nor when we attempt to describe any particular scene, will we begin quarreling about its relative situation. Let OUR first effusions be less insupportable than those of the generality of travellers.”


Every object in the next day’s journey was new and interesting to Elizabeth; and her spirits were in a state of enjoyment; for she had seen her sister looking so well as to banish all fear for her health, and the prospect of her northern tour was a constant source of delight. When they left the high road for the lane to Hunsford, every eye was in search of the Parsonage, and every turning expected to bring it in view. The palings of Rosings Park was their boundary on one side. Elizabeth smiled at the recollection of all that she had heard of its inhabitants. At length the Parsonage was discernible. The garden sloping to the road, the house standing in it, the green pales, and the laurel hedge, everything declared they were arriving. Mr. Collins and Charlotte appeared at the door, and the carriage stopped at the small gate which led by a short gravel walk to the house, amidst the nods and smiles of the whole party. In a moment they were all out of the chaise, rejoicing at the sight of each other. Mrs. Collins welcomed her friend with the liveliest pleasure, and Elizabeth was more and more satisfied with coming when she found herself so affectionately received. She saw instantly that her cousin’s manners were not altered by his marriage; his formal civility was just what it had been, and he detained her some minutes at the gate to hear and satisfy his inquiries after all her family. They were then, with no other delay than his pointing out the neatness of the entrance, taken into the house; and as soon as they were in the parlour, he welcomed them a second time, with ostentatious formality to his humble abode, and punctually repeated all his wife’s offers of refreshment. Elizabeth was prepared to see him in his glory; and she could not help in fancying that in displaying the good proportion of the room, its aspect and its furniture, he addressed himself par-

ticularly to her, as if wishing to make her feel what she had lost in refusing him. But though everything seemed neat and comfortable, she was not able to gratify him by any sigh of repentance, and rather looked with wonder at her friend that she could have so cheerful an air with such a companion. When Mr. Collins said anything of which his wife might reasonably be ashamed, which certainly was not unseldom, she involuntarily turned her eye on Charlotte. Once or twice she could discern a faint blush; but in general Charlotte wisely did not hear. After sitting long enough to admire every article of furniture in the room, from the sideboard to the fender, to give an account of their journey, and of all that had happened in London, Mr. Collins invited them to take a stroll in the garden, which was large and well laid out, and to the cultivation of which he attended himself. To work in this garden was one of his most respectable pleasures; and Elizabeth admired the command of countenance with which Charlotte talked of the healthfulness of the exercise, and owned she encouraged it as much as possible. Here, leading the way through every walk and cross walk, and scarcely allowing them an interval to utter the praises he asked for, every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind. He could number the fields in every direction, and could tell how many tress there were in the most distant clump. But of all the views which his garden, or which the country or kingdom could boast, none were to be compared with the prospect of Rosings, afforded by an opening in the trees that bordered the park nearly opposite the front of his house. It was a handsome modern building, well situated on rising ground. From his garden, Mr. Collins would have led them round his two meadows; but the ladies, not having shoes to encounter the remains of a white frost, turned back; and while Sir William accompanied him, Charlotte took her sister and friend over the house, extremely well pleased, probably, to have the opportunity of showing it without her husband’s help. It was rather small, but well built and convenient; and everything was fitted up and arranged with a neatness and consistency of which Elizabeth gave Charlotte all the credit. When Mr. Collins could be forgotten, there was really an air of great comfort


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throughout, and by Charlotte’s evident enjoyment of it, Elizabeth supposed he must be often forgotten. She had already learnt that Lady Catherine was still in the country. It was spoken of again while they were at dinner, when Mr. Collins joining in, observed: “Yes, Miss Elizabeth, you will have the honour of seeing Lady Catherine de Bourgh on the ensuing Sunday at church, and I need not say you will be delighted with her. She is all affability and condescension, and I doubt not but you will be honoured with some portion of her notice when service is over. I have scarcely any hesitation in saying she will include you and my sister Maria in every invitation with which she honours us during your stay here. Her behaviour to my dear Charlotte is charming. We dine at Rosings twice every week, and are never allowed to walk home. Her ladyship’s carriage is regularly ordered for us. I SHOULD say, one of her ladyship’s carriages, for she has several.” “Lady Catherine is a very respectable, sensible woman indeed,” added Charlotte, “and a most attentive neighbour.” “Very true, my dear, that is exactly what I say. She is the sort of woman whom one cannot regard with too much deference.” The evening was spent chiefly in talking over Hertfordshire news, and telling again what had already been written; and when it closed, Elizabeth, in the solitude of her chamber, had to meditate upon Charlotte’s degree of contentment, to understand her address in guiding, and composure in bearing with, her husband, and to acknowledge that it was all done very well. She had also to anticipate how her visit would pass, the quiet tenor of their usual employments, the vexatious interruptions of Mr. Collins, and the gaieties of their intercourse with Rosings. A lively imagination soon settled it all. About the middle of the next day, as she was in her room getting ready for a walk, a sudden noise below seemed to speak the whole house in confusion; and, after listening a moment, she heard somebody running upstairs in a violent hurry, and calling loudly after her. She opened the door and met Maria in the landing place, who, breathless with agitation, cried out — “Oh, my dear Eliza! pray make haste and come into the dining-room, for there is such a sight to

be seen! I will not tell you what it is. Make haste, and come down this moment.” Elizabeth asked questions in vain; Maria would tell her nothing more, and down they ran into the dining-room, which fronted the lane, in quest of this wonder; It was two ladies stopping in a low phaeton at the garden gate. “And is this all?” cried Elizabeth. “I expected at least that the pigs were got into the garden, and here is nothing but Lady Catherine and her daughter.” “La! my dear,” said Maria, quite shocked at the mistake, “it is not Lady Catherine. The old lady is Mrs. Jenkinson, who lives with them; the other is Miss de Bourgh. Only look at her. She is quite a little creature. Who would have thought that she could be so thin and small?” “She is abominably rude to keep Charlotte out of doors in all this wind. Why does she not come in?” “Oh, Charlotte says she hardly ever does. It is the greatest of favours when Miss de Bourgh comes in.” “I like her appearance,” said Elizabeth, struck with other ideas. “She looks sickly and cross. Yes, she will do for him very well. She will make him a very proper wife.” Mr. Collins and Charlotte were both standing at the gate in conversation with the ladies; and Sir William, to Elizabeth’s high diversion, was stationed in the doorway, in earnest contemplation of the greatness before him, and constantly bowing whenever Miss de Bourgh looked that way. At length there was nothing more to be said; the ladies drove on, and the others returned into the house. Mr. Collins no sooner saw the two girls than he began to congratulate them on their good fortune, which Charlotte explained by letting them know that the whole party was asked to dine at Rosings the next day.

Chapter 29 continued in next week’s Observer

Observer Crossword Solution No 7

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 45

Melbourne People

● Don Crawford with Maureen F. Andrew who will be performing with CLOC Musical Theatre in Sunset Boulevard from May 4-19

Don Crawford’s 50th Birthday Mount Waverley Photos: Gigi Hellmuth

● Drummer Alan Richards improvised with a chair at Don’s birthday party

● Gigi Hellmuth with Angela McGowan

● Gary McQuade with John Bowen, Vice-President of the Magic Circle of Vic.

● Michelle and Ron Gallagher (Inset: Anthony Dimasi)

● Gretel James of the Victorian Jazz Archives

● Don Crawford with Keith McGowan

Page 46 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Melbourne People

Opening Night La Cage aux Folles National Threate, St Kilda Photos: Emily McCoy

● Kerry Giles with Louise Adkins

● Karl McNamara and NicholasKong

● Caroline Gillmer with Michael Brasser

● Robin Williams with Donald Cant

● Dot Parker, Cate Trask, Kevin Trask

● Tania Menelle with Paola Menelle

● Julie Mihai and Piera Calabro

● Wendy Alberni, front-of-house at The National

● Michael Norman with Tim Minturn

● Robbie Mullholand with producer James Rooney

● Jayden Hicks with Jeremy Hinman

● Philip Brady pictured at The National

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 47

Buying Guide


Frustrated by the lack of beautiful casual and special-occasion dresses available for hergrowing daughters, one mother came up with the idea of an online store that caters for the tween girl. Sourcing designs locally and internationally Always Young carries a wonderful array of designers and caters for all styles of budgets What started as an onlin boutqiue store has moved on to become a bricks and mortar shop in Williamstown. The combination means that Always Young can reach out to youg girls all over Australia offering a broad range of truly unique, beautiful clothing and accessories, all in a one-stop shop.

Always Young 170 Ferguson Street Williamstown, Vic 3016 T: 03 9397 6448 E: W:

Page 48 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Buying Guide

The Glamour Room Childrens Boutique welcomes you to an exclusive online shopping experience.At the Glamour Room we are always sourcing unique and magnificent childrens clothing and accessories such as Kiniki and Mooky shoes On a recent trip overseas i came across a brand of childrens clothing and accessories that i am introducing for the first time in Australia, 'Lola et moi'. Lola et moi is a unique brand of childrens clothing and accessories using fresh vibrant colours that take you back to your own childhood. Worn by children of the stars Lola et moi is quickly becoming the name on everyones lips. We don't believe in following the leader we believe you should be the leader and make a statement in the unique clothing that we stock here at The Glamour Room Childrens Boutique!

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 49

Buying Guide

Page 50 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Antiques and Collectables

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 51

Antiques and Collectables

Language of Flowers exhibition ■ The secret language of flowers is said to have originated in Turkey in the 1800s where flower arrangements were used to convey messages between illicit lovers. Each flower has a meaning so secret messages could be passed between lovers who were not allowed to communicate openly, This is an exotic Exhibition being held at South Yarra Art House and Picture Framers, 6 Almeida Cres., South Yarra. Phone 03 98273771.

Cultural feast

Opening next week ■ Glen Eira City Council Gallery will host the George Tzikas Immemorial Presence exhibition opening between 6pm-8pm on Thursday, March 29. The exhibition will remain open until April 15. The exhibition features large and small scale abstract works sourced from architectural spaces and structures. The exhibition is to be opened by Robert Hollingworth, artist, writer and past winner of the Sulman Prize for painting. The Glen Eira City Council Gallery is located at the Cnr Glen Eira & Hawthorn Rds, Caulfield. Hours: 10am-5pm Mon-Fri., 1pm-5pm Saturday and Sunday. Phone: 9524 3402.

● Secret language of flowers is explored in this exhibition at South Yarra Art House

Stamp auction next week at Boronia ■ Prestige Philately, Boronia , will conduct its New Zealand auction on Friday next week (Mar. 30). Lots in this sale have been prepared by Gary Watson and Richard Kennedy. Lots for the auctions can be viewed at the auction rooms - 8 Floriston Rd, Boronia on : ■ Monday, March 26, 10am - 6pm ■ Tuesday, March 27, 10am - 6pm

■ Wednesday, March 28, 10am - 6pm ■ Thursday, March 29, 10am - 6pm ■ Friday, March 30, (Sale Day), 9am - 2.30pm New Zealand is described by Prestige Philately principal Gary Watson as one of the great collecting countries, offering everything from an iconic classic issue to important postal developments such as meters and advertising stamps.

■ Food and food-related events from around the world form part of the Glen Eira City Council’s A Cultural Feast. Activities and opportunities open up a world of culinary cultural diversity for the tastebuds. To be held as part of the Victorian Multicultural Commission’s Cultural Diversity Week until March 25, more than 30 local restaurants, cafes and other food businesses invite visitors to sample cuisines ranging from Greek, Japanese, Israeli, South African, British, Middle Eastern, Chinese and more.

Page 52 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Antiques and Collectables

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Page 53

Antiques and Collectables

Page 54 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Antiques and Collectables

Melbourne Observer. 120321A. March 21, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-28, Pages 45-54.  

Melbourne Observer. 120321A. March 21, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-28, Pages 45-54.

Melbourne Observer. 120321A. March 21, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-28, Pages 45-54.  

Melbourne Observer. 120321A. March 21, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-28, Pages 45-54.