Scene that was cut from Piranha 3D

CLIFF/CAR SCENE THAT WAS CUT FROM PIRANHA 3D

Written by Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger

NOTE: This sequence was intercut with other scenes in the script, but those scenes have been cut out of the pages.

2004

FADE UP: EXT. LAKE HAVASU BLUFFSIDE - LATER A Lexus weaves its way along the back roads of a coastal cliff. It comes to a stop at a romantic spot overlooking the lake.

The back doors open and TESSA and BARNEY hop out, laughing.

Barney chases her, tackling her gently the to ground.

TESSA I am so drunk. (then) We better do it before that burrito I ate buys a round trip ticket.

BARNEY (flat) I love it when you talk dirty.

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS James and Melissa sit silently in the car, looking out over the water.

James glances over to her with a cocky, sideways grin.

JAMES What'd I tell you?

MELISSA You're right. It's beautiful.

Perfect.

Melissa kisses him on the lips, but then cuts it off.

MELISSA (cont'd) (CONT’D) We'll have time for that later.

You better gather firewood before it gets dark.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP of two beautiful feet eerily splashing the water.

PULL BACK TO...

2.

EXT. WATER - DUSK TOOK THIS SCENE OUT. EXT. THE WATER BUG - CONTINUOUS TOOK THIS SCENE OUT CUT TO: INT. GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT- CONTINUOUS TOOK THIS SCENE OUT CUT BACK TO: EXT. THE WATER BUG - CONTINUOUS TOOK THIS SCENE OUT INT. WATER - CONTINUOUS TOOK THIS SCENE OUT EXT. WATER - CONTINUOUS TOOK MOST OF THIS SCENE OUT. FOR THE TRANSITION I’VE LEFT IN THE ENDING. IT’S WITH ZANE AND LAURA AS THEY ARE STUCK WAITING FOR JAKE TO PICK THEM UP. ZANE IS WALKING IN THE WATER ON THE SHORE. TAKING IT FROM HERE: Another beat as our heart sinks.

Get out of the water!

Finally, Zane trudges out of the water. The movement from his feet splashing causes a SURGE IN THE WATER BEHIND HIM. HE TURNS, confused at the sound but DOUBLE-TIMES IT OUT OF THE WATER. The SURGING WATER just misses him as he jumps to shore.

Both of the kids turn, confused at what just happened.

They aren't going anywhere!

We SLOWLY DOLLY UNDER THE WATER...

3.

INT. UNDERWATER - CONTINUOUS Just below the dark surface of the water... THOUSANDS of PIRANHA SWIM in unison. They suddenly turn and... ...DART OFF. EXT. BLUFFSIDE - DAY Melissa moans as she rides James -- the fire burning at their feet. Empty wine bottles surround them.

A beat as Melissa stops. James looks up confused until Melissa HOLDS UP a pair of fur-lined handcuffs.

For you?

JAMES

Melissa shakes her head with a smile.

For you.

MELISSA

JAMES Wait -- I, uh... don’t think I really like this idea. I’m not-MELISSA I want to handcuff you to the bumper and fuck you senseless.

JAMES (without missing a beat) Front bumper or back bumper?

Melissa handcuffs one of his wrists and walks him to the rear bumper.

James gets cuffed to the back bumper of the car. climbs aboard and they start to go at it again.

SUDDENLY, the GROUND RUMBLES.

SHAKING.

MELISSA What the...?

The THIRD AFTERSHOCK stops as soon as it started.

JAMES (playfully) Did I not say sex with me is an earth-shaking experience?

Melissa

4.

She smiles as they continue.

CUT TO: EXT. THE WATER BUG - NIGHT SCENE WITH JAKE AND DANNI TAKEN OUT CUT TO: INT JULIE'S OFFICE - NIGHT SCENE WITH JULIE TAKEN OUT CUT TO: EXT. ISLAND - NIGHT SCENE WITH ZANE AND LAURA TAKEN OUT CUT TO: INT. CAR - MORNING A very drunk and unconscious Tessa is curled up on the front seat. The rising sun hits her eyes and she shifts, ducking down onto the floor --- her foot knocking into the parking brake. slowly, the car starts to roll.

Slowly, very

EXT. BLUFFSIDE - CONTINUOUS The car ever-so-slowly rolls toward the cliff.

CLOSE ON JAMES' FACE -- The ground moves underneath him.

He shakes the sleep off quickly.

PULL OUT to REVEAL that James's left hand is still handcuffed to the back bumper of the car, which now rolls toward the cliff, dragging James behind it.

Melissa!

JAMES Melissa!

Wake up!

Melissa wakes from beneath the blanket. She sees James, half-naked and still handcuffed to the bumper.

5.

MELISSA (grin ear to ear) What are you doing, Kinky?

James has turned and is trying to stop the car from rolling. He digs his feet in but is unable to stop it.

JAMES Melissa, stop the car. I'm not fooling around. Stop the car.

Melissa tries to open the driver's side door.

OPEN.

IT WON'T

MELISSA It's locked.

Hurry.

JAMES Melissa realizes that the car is approaching the cliff.

She makes a dash for the other door. LOCKED. MELISSA What do you want me to do?

JAMES I don't care! Throw your body in front of it. I don't give a shit, just stop the fuckin' car.

Melissa moves to the front of the car and tries to push the car in the other direction. No luck. The car continues to CREEP toward the cliff.

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) (calling out) Help! Barney! Tessa! Help me!

Melissa picks up a nearby rock and tries to wedge it under a rolling tire. The tire SLOWLY ROLLS OVER IT and continues toward the cliff.

Melissa moves around the back and tries to help James pull the car to a stop.

Ready?

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) Pull! PULL!! PULL!!!

They both dig their feet in.

The car continues to roll.

Melissa picks up another rock. She SMASHES the rock at the driver's side window -- only it doesn't break!

6.

But it does wake Tessa up inside who has been passed out on the floor. She jumps up, totally freaked out!

What?

TESSA What?

Melissa yells at her...

MELISSA Tessa, the brake!

Now!!!

Stop the car!

Tessa quickly slams on the brake JUST AS THE FRONT END OF THE CAR GOES OVER THE EDGE. The back starts to follow.

Melissa JUMPS UP AND GRABS THE BACK BUMPER, helping to weight the car on the edge. She and James both DANGLE from the bumper as the car sways precariously off the cliff.

JAMES Holy shit. Holy shit.

INSIDE -- Tessa looks out over the edge.

Unable to scream.

The car balances on the cliff.

Omigod!

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) Yes! Yes!

The car slips slightly.

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) No! (yelling inside the car) Tessa, don't move!! Don't fuckin' move!

No!

It stops moving. eternity.

A very long beat.

They dangle.

An

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) All right. Listen to me. Slowly let go of the car and go find the handcuff keys by the fire. Do you hear me? Slowly.

Okay.

MELISSA I'm letting go now.

Okay.

JAMES Let go. Slowly.

She starts to let go. The car slips further down the cliff. Inside, Tessa screams!

7.

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) Don't let go! Don't let go!

Melissa grabs hold of the bumper again. They both stand on the ground now -- the car almost over the edge.

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) Oh, Jesus. I don't want to die.

I really don't want to die.

TESSA (incredulous) And I do?!?

MELISSA Don't talk! (then; to James) Can you pull your hand through?

James tries. Blood gathers at his wrist.

He screams out of pure frustration.

JAMES It's not gonna work. die.

MELISSA You're not gonna die. isn't going anywhere.

He can't escape.

We're gonna

This car

Suddenly, a BIRD flies perches itself on the front hood.

The extra weight causes the car to fall again.

INSIDE TESSA YELLS AT THE BIRD. TESSA Go away, bird! Bird!

Go away!

Now, only one bent tire keeps the car from plummeting into the basin. It creeks against the strain.

James slams his head into the ground several times as he pulls with all of his weight against the metal cuffs.

Wait!!!

Melissa Melissa realizes she's wearing James' jacket and frantically goes through her pockets. She pulls a tiny set of KEYS out of her jacket pocket.

JAMES Thank God!

8.

SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING, THE AXLE GIVES WAY. SLIPS -- PULLING JAMES DOWN WITH IT.

THE CAR

MELISSA'S POV -- as we watch the car slip slowly down the rock cliff and into the water.

REMARKABLY, James is fine -- he rides the back of the car half way down the hill before slipping off. He is dragged harmlessly the rest of the way and suffers nothing more than a SCRAPED WRIST from the car fender.

James looks up at the massive bluffside in utter shock!

JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) I'm alive! I'm alive!!!

Just then, the car starts to SINK into the water.

James!

MELISSA No!!!

But the car stops. JAMES IS STANDING ON THE LAKE FLOOR. The water is only a few feet deep at this spot. James gives a thumbs up to Melissa and turns his attention inside the car.

Tessa!

JAMES Are you all right?

INSIDE THE CAR -- Tessa rubs her head -- she suffers from a combination of a hangover and a forehead to the dashboard.

TESSA Um... I don't know.

She unceremoniously vomits on her own lap.

Beat...

TESSA (cont'd) (CONT’D) Okay, I'm doing much better.

But then she looks around and realizes that the doors to the car are entirely submerged. Water is starting to leak in through the air vents. She tries closing them.

Shit!

TESSA (cont'd) (CONT’D) JAMES Tessa! All you have to do is open your window, wait for the car to fill up and then swim out! Do you hear me?

9.

Yeah!

TESSA I'm scared!

JAMES There's nothing to be scared of.

You're in five feet of water.

Just open your window and let the car fill up. Okay?

Okay.

TESSA JAMES Hey, cheer up. We lived.

Before we cut away, we CLOSE IN ON: HIS HAND -- Nothing serious...except when a SMALL DROP OF BLOOD, IN SLOW MOTION, drips down into the water.

RAPID PUSH THROUGH THE WATER -- until we come upon our SCHOOL OF PIRANHA. They start to swim in the direction of the fresh blood.

INT. POLICE STATION - JULIE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS TOOK OUT SCENE BETWEEN FALLON AND JULIE. CUT TO: CLOSE UP ON THE WATER.

PULL BACK TO...

EXT. SMALL ISLAND - CONTINUOUS The quiet morning. While Laura sleeps, Zane is crouched on a rock in the water. He studies the area carefully, hands ready to scoop.

ZANE (sotto) C'mere... little... Nemo.

C'mon...

Zane moves his hands closer and closer to the water.

Concentrating. Silence. Then...

SUDDENLY, a SPLASH!!! Zane (and the audience) jumps.

REVEAL that Laura is awake and has thrown a large rock to scare Zane.

Zane gives her an annoyed look.

10.

LAURA (smiling adorably) Morning!

A speedboat RACES BY in the near distance (a wave-jumping Hydro-slider being pulled being it).

Help!

ZANE'S VOICE (O.S.) Over here!!!

Zane runs on the shore of the tiny island, desperately calling out for help.

ZANE Come back!!!!

The Hydro-slider zooms away.

Zane sits in the dirt.

Behind him, Laura appears, pulling branches in toward a common area.

LAURA Looks like nobody's stopping.

I'll gather some palm fronds.

What?

ZANE Why?

LAURA It'll be more comfortable in case we have to do it to repopulate our island.

A beat. Then, with new urgency, ZANE STARTS YELLING TO AN APPROACHING BOAT. Help!

ZANE Over here!!!

EXT. BLUFFSIDE - CONTINUOUS The car has ALMOST filled with water and Tessa is safe.

We also see Melissa making her way down the bluff.

JAMES (to Tessa) You're almost there.

As blood continues to drip from his hand, we GO TO: THE PIRANHA -- we see the sunken car in front of us -along with the red pool of diluted blood.

11.

They make a BEE-LINE FOR THE HUMAN FOOD. JAMES (cont'd) (CONT’D) ...As soon as that last bit of water comes in, open the-James SCREAMS IN PAIN as the first fish bites his wrist.

He looks down, confused. Then another bite. And another.

He starts to panic, screaming and tries to get his body out of the water.

FROM INSIDE -- we see Tessa, who was about to open the window, look out the back window to see the SWARM OF KILLER FISH ATTACKING JAMES. No, stop!

JAMES (CONT'D) (cont'd) (CONT’D) Make it stop!!!

Suddenly, James notices his hand is free from the cuffs.

He lifts it up and realizes that it's free because his hand is GONE!!!

He stumbles toward the rocks on the bluffside as the violent fish feed in a frenzy around him.

FROM INSIDE THE CAR -- Tessa can no longer see anything through the bloody red water. Occasionally a fish bumps into the window -- allowing her to glimpse at the evil killer.

CLACK CLACK CLACK, CLACK CLACK CLACK -- their razor sharp teeth striking against the glass.

She quickly rolls up the window but the rushing water is quickly filling up the car through the air-vents.

OUTSIDE -- James is at the rocks and tries to get out, but now we find that half is arm is missing. He tries to desperately hurdle himself onto the rocks. A LEG GONE. Holy-fucking-hell!

Slowly, he dies on his feet. His dead body torn apart as he sinks back into his watery grave.

BACK INSIDE THE CAR -- Tessa is terrified. The water filling up around her. It's up to her neck. Rising.

Rising.

James.

TESSA Help me!!!

Help!!!

12.

ON THE SHORE -- we see that Melissa has climbed down. She sees the violent fish circling the bloody water by her feet. She dares not get in. She screams to Tessa in the car.

MELISSA Tessa, don't get out of the car!

INSIDE THE CAR -- Tessa presses her lips to the rooftop, trying to suck in the final breathes of oxygen.

Finally, she is under water.

She looks out in terror as the fish swim around her.

CLACK CLACK CLACK.

CLACK CLACK CLACK.

She struggles for air. She starts to convulse. Finally, having no other choice, she rolls down the window and very quickly attempts to get on top of the car.

OUTSIDE -- Melissa urges her on.

Go!!!

MELISSA (cont'd) (CONT’D) Get out of the water!!!

Tessa struggles to climb up and out onto the car. BITE. BITE. CLACK. CLACK. Chunks of flesh are torn off her body.

Finally, she pulls herself to the rooftop. Blood pours down her body and into the water, mixing hers with James'.

She starts to cry, half in utter terror, half in complete relief.

MELISSA (cont'd) (CONT’D) Thank God. Oh, my God. Thank God. Then...

Slowly, ever-so-slowly, the car starts to roll again. Now filled with water, the weight makes it sink further into the water.

No.

TESSA No, this isn't happening!

The two girls look to one another in desperation.

Melissa takes a step into the water to help but is immediately bitten on the ankles. She quickly steps back up out of the water.

13.

The killer fish start biting Tessa's ankles as she hops up and down on the car -- only making it sink faster!

MELISSA Tessa, swim! Swim to me fast!

I can't!

TESSA No. Stop!!!

The water is now at her calves as the fish tug violently at her flesh...then her knees...then her thighs.

Finally, she decides to jump and make a swim for it. But the muscles in her legs have been chewed to hell. Nothing is working properly.

And it is only a matter of seconds before she disappears into the water. Gone. Forever.

Melissa sits on the rock and cries.

MELISSA Oh, my God. Oh, my God. God. Slowly PULL BACK FROM THE SCENE.

Oh, my UP AND AWAY.

AND TO THE TOP OF THE HILL -- where a very drunk and hungover Barney is waking up hundreds of yards away, faced pressed up against a tree.

We can hear the faint sound of Melissa crying below as PARTY BOATS ARE SEEN arriving to the inlets of Lake Havasu.

Barney stands and stretches.

BARNEY Guys? Guys?!? Hey, where the hell is everybody!?