A2 Monday, January 10, 2022 — DAILY REPUBLIC
I am the Angel of Plant Death Young travelers who said that everything she planted grew. She owned a house that a developer wanted to buy so he could build a new project, but she refused. The developer sent some thug to intimidate her and the thug chopped off – “Dead Flowers” one of her fingers. The by The Rolling Stones loss of blood and shock was too much and neighbor the woman died. friend of mine, When the develChris Grokenoper went back to berger, stopped by the house the next last week and day, he was admirgenerously gave ing the garden and me two plastic noticed something bags bulging with moving in the dirt. grapefruits from Two hands dig the tree in front of Tony Wade out and later the his house. It was The last laugh woman is in the an awesome house in a rocking trifecta of things I chair with roots and love: neighborliness, branches growing off of grapefruit and gettin’ her body. She had planted free stuff. her chopped off finger It made me think how and grew a whole new – cool it must be to have your own fruit tree or any incredibly creepy – body. She said “I have green plant that can give you fingers. Everything I plant food. I will never know because I am the Angel of grows. Even me.” I have no idea why I Plant Death. can remember something It is ironic because I that I saw almost 50 years will celebrate two years ago so vividly, but can’t of being a whole-food, remember my Gmail plant-based eater in Febpassword. What I am ruary and yet my entire sure of, however, is that life I just cannot get stuff to grow. There’s a woman I shan’t be getting much sleep tonight. down the street from me I do not have green who has a bajillion flowers fingers, much less a green and other plants in her thumb. Everything I plant front yard and they look dies. I did the experiment amazing. I have one little a few years back of adding rose plant that is clingsome houseplants and ing for dear life, growing dutifully watering them to on a trellis. When I add a little life to the living walk by it, I swear I can room. I added death. hear it humming Blue In the past I tried to Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear grow a little garden and The Reaper.” I can’t remember what This topic reminds it was that I was trying me of a 1972 episode of to grow . . . hmmm . . . the spooky late night TV was it tuna? Ketchup? show “Night Gallery” called “Green Fingers.” Tube socks? Whatever In it, Elsa Lanchester it was, I was once again (who decades earlier had disappointed. been the title character in Now, I would love to “The Bride of Frankenbe able to blame this on stein”) played a woman heredity the way I can
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“And you can send me dead flowers every morning Send me dead flowers by the mail Send me dead flowers to my wedding And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave.”
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Courtesy photo illustration
Two Pixabay images depicting Tony Wade as the Angel of Plant Death. with how I am a terrible builder. My pops was a crappy craftsman and I inherited his inability to measure, saw, sand and make anything that resembled what we started out to create. But when it comes to growing things, my dad could handle his business. For a time back in the 1970s we had a robust garden in the backyard that he dutifully attended to and my family enjoyed corn on the cob, collard greens and tomatoes. One year in particular he had a bumper crop of zucchini and it was pretty much all we ate for weeks. There were zucchini-kabobs, zucchini creole, zucchini gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There was pineapple zucchini, lemon zucchini, coconut zucchini, pepper zucchini, zucchini soup, zucchini stew, zucchini salad, zucchini and potatoes, zucchini burger, zucchini sandwich. That – that’s about it. It is with considerable embarrassment that I say that I could not even keep the lil’ green chia sprouts alive on my Bob Ross Chia Head. Now, it is perfectly OK for me to continue to get
bright spot
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my beloved fruits and vegetables from Winco (oh, and I do accept any and all homegrown donations from readers as well), but how satisfying would it be to pretend I am Mr. Green Jeans (old people reference check) and grow my own? Before I close, I need to say that I tried valiantly to work a reference to the humungous “Little Shop of Horrors” Audrey II plant into this column, but could not. I even thought of including something about only feeding the bloodthirsty mean green mutha from outer space 49ers fans, but it sounded a lil’ too creepy and I’m already gonna have to contact a therapist about that “Green Fingers” thing. Fairfield freelance humor columnist and accidental local historian Tony Wade writes two weekly columns: “The Last Laugh” on Mondays and “Back in the Day” on Fridays. Wade is also the author of The History Press book “Growing Up In Fairfield, California.”
Travelers between the ages of 18 and 35 are springing back from the pandemic in big ways. Over the past year and a half, when all travel was stalled, these travelers were the ones sharing their stories and their favorite destinations on social media, changing not just the destinations they’d like to visit, but also the trends and experiences they prefer. Younger travelers, according to Contiki, desire either beach vacations, European explorations or something in between. Immersion and adventure activities are top-of-mind for many travelers as they begin venturing back out into the world. The desire to experience more is going to be the impetus for many young travelers to visit places like Thailand, Ireland, Egypt and South Africa. Solo travelers also make up almost half of the tour operator’s
bookings for next year, signaling not only a confidence in traveling alone but a desire to experience the world from their own unique vantage points. The average age of travelers booking with Contiki is 27, which makes sense considering that’s usually a time when working professionals are earning enough to begin going on trips before they’re obligated to pay for other expensive life milestones, like marriage, buying a house, or having a child. Popular destinations for younger clients include Mexico and the Caribbean, especially when it comes to allinclusives, as well as the ever-popular Walt Disney World and Disneyland parks in Florida and California. The main trend, though, is a focus toward more FIT journeys that focus on immersion and discovery, and the oopportunity to find exercise adventures.
Brad Calkins/Dreamstime/TNS
Resort hotels line the beach in Cancun, Mexico. Young tourists were picking Mexico and the Caribbean as their destinations of choice in 2021.
