SUNDAY, JANUARY 9, 2021 B5
THE DAVIS ENTERPRISE
Screen-addicted husband Dear Annie: I find your column to be informative and entertaining. One subject that emerges often is the grieving of a loved one. I agree that acknowledging and allowing loss is an individual process and our pace should not be judged by others, except in the matter of compassion and support. My personal concern is with grieving the loss of a loved one through dementia. In many ways, my husband, mate, best friend, even handyman, is gone. He is not coming home from his long-term care residence, yet he is physically fit, present, healthy, sociable, fun and engaging. Friends and acquaintances see me as “just dandy” as I suit up, put on a happy face and participate in social activities, but I am not OK. Having fun and being happy are surrounded by guilt. It’s not the same as grieving the loss of a parent or grandparent. Sometimes people say, “Oh, yes, my grandfather had dementia.” There is an expectation that our aging relatives have some degree of diminished ability. They are loved, respected and accepted. But I have lost my hugs, foot-warmer, protector and friend, only to take on trying to do everything as before and trying to do more with less. I don’t fit in the “singles” or “couples” category. The COVID-19 pandemic has added to this isolation. I could use a helping hand with heavy lifting, auto and yard maintenance, and financial planning. Sure, there are goods and services available for these things, but not all of us have an unlimited expense account. I hope my letter enlightens hearts and minds.
EMPLOYMENT UU Church of Davis: AudioVisual Operator $15.23/hour 3 hours/week + training. Work with the church A/V, worship, and event teams to provide audio and/or video support for Sunday services and other events. Training on church equipment provided.
Details: https://tinyurl.com/uucdAV3 www.uudavis.org
RENTALS & REAL ESTATE Bright, completely remodeled 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath duplex in central Davis. Extras: big private backyard and laundry room with washer and dryer. It’s 2 minutes to I-80, walking distance to 3 top rated elementary schools, Davis High and supermarket/Starbucks, 8 minute bike ride to UC Davis campus. Available immediately.
Price: $2850/month
Contact: 530-400-6033 or edamesyn@att.net
— Dancing in the Rain Dear Dancing in the Rain: Thank you for your beautiful letter. Your situation is difficult but not uncommon. My hope is that your message will help others know that they are not alone in the grief they feel for the person they once knew. ——— Dear Annie: Please tell me, how do I deal with my husband’s depression and phone addiction? It’s starting to hurt my selfesteem, leaving me feeling as if I’m incapable of making him happy. He has never been medically diagnosed but says depression runs in his family. His mom and all of his siblings have been diagnosed and take antidepressants. He can easily switch from being a fun-loving husband to a very crabby one in less than a minute. I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells because I don’t know if what I’m going to say next might trigger him. Sometimes it could be something as small as my not wanting fish for dinner. Then he gets upset and doesn’t talk to me for days. Days! I ask him what’s wrong, and he says he needs his space from me and our girls; hence, he escapes into his phone or video games. He spends countless hours on his phone. He hides in the restroom with his phone. He wakes up and goes to bed with his phone. I try to be the fun girl I used to be. I schedule camping trips and little outings to give us something fun to look forward to as a family. I try to run my household as smoothly and neatly as possible by adopt-
Dear Annie: My 20-yearold daughter, “Jessica,” was adopted when she was 2 by her mom and her first husband, and I adopted her when she was 15. She decided to reach out to her birth mother in a very small town with very limited opportunities last February, and then she moved across the country to be with her in April. This broke my wife’s heart, as they have had a strained relationship for the last few years. Naturally, she felt rejected. By June, things fell apart between my daughter and
davisenterprise.com 530-756-0800 315 G Street
EMPLOYMENT HELP WANTED Responsible Caregiver for a young man with CP $14.75 an hour Non Smokers Only · He lives in his home with his Parents · Training provided · No Lifting Required Part and Full Time /flexible hours
Please call 530-758-9947 for more info
Your Puzzle Solutions t
Hard-headed daughter
her birth mother, and she was couch surfing and living in hotels that were being paid for by a charity group that helps women victims of domestic violence. My wife just spent three weeks in a hospital to work out a lot of issues that have finally boiled over — a tempest in a teapot, so to speak. But she is in mom mode and does not want our daughter to be homeless if there is anything we can do about it. Jessica had a round-trip ticket to fly home for her brother’s wedding in October but then canceled it and bought a one-way ticket that is in a couple days. She did this without talking to us first, expecting we would take her in, as she has exhausted all the couches in town. I told her I would fly to her and help her pack and ship her stuff before taking her to the airport to fly home. Since she’s been home, she has been really snotty to me, and I told her I didn’t appreciate it. She got mad and packed her things and went someplace else for the night. I cannot help but think I made a mistake by coming to get her. My wife cannot handle this attitude my daughter keeps giving us and the hurtful things she says. Should I give my daughter an ultimatum and tell her we will not tolerate this behavior or she will be out to fend for herself? How do I handle putting my foot down with my wife if she fights me on throwing our daughter out? — Can’t Win With Daughter Dear Can’t Win: First things first, you’re doing the best you can, so please stop tormenting yourself. Your daughter has had a rotating cast of parental figures in her life, and she needs some reassurance of stability. Let her know that your love is unconditional and that there will always be a place for her in your family. It may take a while
Classifieds: classads@ davisenterprise.net 530-747-8062 Legals: legals@ davisenterprise.net 530-747-8061
To SUBSCRIBE, please call 530-756-0826 For CLASSIFIEDS, email classads@davisenterprise.net For LEGAL NOTICES, email legals@davisenterprise.net LOBBY HOURS: Monday-Wednesday 10 a.m. - 1 p.m.
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ing a minimalist lifestyle so he can unwind from a long day at work and not come home to a chaotic household, and he simply resorts to his phone once again. I’m emotionally drained. I don’t fit in his virtual world, and when he’s not on the phone, he’s depressed. — Living with Grumpy Dear Living with Grumpy: You are doing a wonderful job trying to create a loving, adventurous and nurturing household — all while living with a man who is unhappy and needs professional help for his depression. It can be hard to tell whether too much video game and phone time is making him depressed, or if his depression is making him self-medicate by withdrawing from the family with his phone, video gaming and temper. Regardless of which came first, he needs professional help. Try to focus on your daughters and yourself while he gets treatment. Don’t allow his sadness to take away your joy.
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STORAGE LIEN SALE Auction Location: Stonegate Self Storage, 2772 W Covell Blvd, Davis, CA. 95616. Auction Date/Time: Wednesday 1/19/22 at 12:00PM. This is authorized by Division 8, Chapter 10 of the California Business and Professions Code. CASH ONLY. We reserve the right to reject any or all offers. Purchased items must be removed from property immediately following the sale. Unit H110 - Samuel Rollins - Cubed Shelving, Nightstand, Bedframe, Bedding, Clothing, Floor Lamp, Furniture, Misc Tote. Unit I047 - Christopher Duzenski - Suitcase, Compound Bow, Fishing Rod, Household Goods, Appliances, Kids Toys, Misc Boxes/Totes BOND #0342850 Published January 2, 9, 2022
RENTALS & REAL ESTATE
FREE & FOR SALE
Tiny studio backyard house in Woodland for rent. $700 month w/utilities. Sm dep. Must like dogs. Non-smoker. Avail.
Brand new Perfect-sleep lift, reclining chair.
Email: dona5527@att.net
See full page ad in Smithsonian.
Contact seller (530) 756-0874. Large size beautiful duralux burgundy.
NOTICE OF SPECIAL PLANNING COMMISSION MEETING The Yolo County Planning Commission will hold a public meeting and consider the following matter on January 20, 2022 at 8:30 a.m. or as soon thereafter as the matter may be heard as indicated below via Zoom: https://yolocounty.zoom.us/j/97388566818?pwd=OEN hdE9LVTVXY0EwNzUxdEhqNWZtdz09 Meeting ID: 973 8856 6818 Passcode: 146225 Or Telephone: (408) 638 0968 Meeting ID: 973 8856 6818# Passcode: 146225. TIME SET AGENDA 8:30 a.m. ZC #2022-01: A public hearing to consider changes to the Yolo County Zoning Regulations to conform with Senate Bill (SB) 9. The proposed amendments to Title 8 Yolo County Code of Ordinances include the addition of non-discretionary urban lot splits in Chapter 1 Article 3 (Subdivision Requirements) and clean up and updating of housing and accessory structure standards in Chapter 2 Article 5 (Residential Zones). The zoning code amendment is exempt from the California Environmental Quality Act. Applicant: Yolo County Department of Community Services (Planner: JD Trebec) The starting time of the public hearing on the Time Set Agenda is listed for the convenience of the community and other interested parties. The public hearing will not start before its scheduled time. Adequate time will be provided for each public hearing to accept all relevant public testimony. Public comments on all items are encouraged. A copy of the staff report(s) and the environmental document for the project(s) are on file in the office of the Yolo County Community Services Department, 292 West Beamer Street, Woodland, California. All interested parties should appear and will be provided an opportunity during the public hearing to present relevant information. Pursuant to California Government Code Section 65009(b)(2) and other provisions of law, any lawsuit challenging the approval of a project described in this notice shall be limited to only those issues raised at the public hearing or described in written correspondence delivered for consideration before the hearing is closed. Published January 9, 2022 #1634
for you to become the happy family you want to be, but helping her move home is a good start. That said, unconditional love does not mean she can live in your house rent-free, making snotty remarks and insulting your wife. Communicate some ground rules, starting with basic respect. It sounds like you, your wife and your daughter would benefit from a family therapist, who could help you get to the root of Jessica’s misbehavior.
Silence isn’t always suspect Dear Annie: About five years ago, my nephew, who was working in a foreign country, married a local woman. They visited my nephew’s father in the U.S. a few times. During one visit, I gave my nephew’s wife a brooch that belonged to my grandmother to welcome her to the family. She’s a lovely young woman, and I wanted her to feel comfortable, mainly because my nephew’s mother — my sister — passed away several years ago. I recently learned that my nephew and his wife divorced. He will be moving back permanently to the U.S. soon. I would love to have the brooch returned. I don’t think my nephew’s ex-wife would really want to keep it. However, I realize that this was a gift to her, and she is not obligated to give it back. Should I ask my nephew to bring the brooch back? Or should I let it go? I have let my nephew know that he has my full support, and I’d like that to continue. — Anxious Aunt Dear Anxious: Gifting the brooch was a courteous welcoming gift — but, more importantly, it was a symbol of love and support for your nephew. In that regard, mission accomplished. The brooch belongs to your nephew’s ex-wife now.
What’s done is done. You can take comfort in the knowledge that your nephew won’t ever have to wonder whether you have his back. And even though the brooch won’t be returning to the U.S., you should celebrate the fact that your nephew will be. ——— Dear Annie: I live with my girlfriend (60) and love her a lot. She and I have a great relationship. We have lived together for three years and are discussing purchasing a home together. How can I learn to let her be quiet and not feel like she should be like me and talk a lot? I can be quiet at times, but I usually am when I am worried or have something I am ruminating on. Should I learn to do my own thing to ease my worries when she is quiet? What is the best solution for us both? — Terry Dear Terry: Your girlfriend’s silence is not necessarily a sign of anger, distress or disinterest, as it might be for you, but instead can be one of thinking, exhaustion or purely enjoying the moment. If her quietness is ever hard to read, ask her how she’s feeling to make sure. Instead of worrying during her bouts of silence, settle in and enjoy it with her. A couple that can sit comfortably and savor each other’s presence without needing to fill the silence speaks volumes. Annie Lane grew up in California and headed east to graduate with honors from New York University, where she majored in English literature and specialized in psychology. She earned her Juris Doctor from New York Law School. Since July 2016, Annie has offered common-sense solutions to everyday problems in her column, “Dear Annie.” Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
FILED IN YOLO COUNTY CLERK'S OFFICE Jesse Salinas, Yolo County Clerk/Recorder F20220002 01/04/2022 Business is located in YOLO County Fictitious Business Name: The Nexus Station Physical Address: 2880 5th St. Suite 110 Davis, CA 95616 Mailing Address: Names of Registrant(s)/Owner(s): Noah Berkoff Licensed Clinical Social Worker Inc. 2880 5th St. Suite 110 Davis, CA 95616 Business Classification: Corporation Starting Date of Business: 10/28/2021 s/ Noah Berkoff Official Title: President Corporation Name: Noah Berkoff Licensed Clinical Social Worker Inc. I hereby certify that this is a true copy of the original document on file in this office. This certification is true as long as there are no alterations to the document, AND as long as the document is sealed with a red seal. Jesse Salinas, County Clerk/Recorder, State of California, County of Yolo Published January 9, 16, 23, 30, 2022 #1635
NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF LILIAN ELAINE RIEUR CASE NO. PR2021-0277 To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors, and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate, or both, of: LILIAN ELAINE RIEUR A Petition for Probate has been filed by: ELLEN R. KOLARIK in the Superior Court of California, County of: Yolo The Petition for Probate requests that: ELLEN R. KOLARIK be appointed as personal representative to administer the estate of the decedent. The petition requests the decedent's will and codicils, if any, be admitted to probate. The will and codicils are available for examination in the file kept by the court. The petition requests authority to administer the estate under the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal representative to take many actions without obtaining court approval. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal representative will be required to give notice to interested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposed action.) The independent administration authority will be granted unless an interested person files an objection to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority. A hearing on the petition will be held in this court as follows: Date: 02/03/2022 Time: 9:00 A.M. Dept.: 9 Room: located at 1000 Main Street, Woodland, CA 95695. If you object to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. If you are a creditor or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within the later of either (1) four months from the date of first issuance of letters to a general personal representative, as defined in section 58(b) of the California Probate Code, or (2) 60 days from the date of mailing or personal delivery to you of a notice under section 9052 of the California Probate Code. Other California statutes and legal authority may affect your rights as a creditor. You may want to consult with an attorney knowledgeable in California law. You may examine the file kept by the court. the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE-154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code section 1250. A Request for Special Notice form is available from the court clerk. Signed: Michael R. Peterson Attorney for petitioner 508 Second Street, Suite 210 Davis, CA 95616 (530)758-1750 Published January 5, 9, 12, 2022