“NotesfromCouchConversations”……………………………………………………….7 “YouandI”………………………………………………………………………………...8 “Whentheworldwashurting……………………………………………………………...9
“Memories”………………………………………………………………………………..22
PartI
AKnifetotheHeart
“NotesfromCouchConversations”
Inspired by Tracy Mishkin
1.
withyou,it’shumorousandrarelyserious ourconversationismysafeplace untilwe’reunabletobeinthesameplace.
2. withyou,theTVisalwaysoninthebackground butourenjoymentofwhat’sonnever goesabovethelovewehaveforeachother
3. withyou,thingsarenotthesameastheyusedtobe ourheartsarebothbrokenwithoutNana inourlives,butwestillhaveeachothertotalkto.
4. foryou,myNanawasyourwifesinceJanuary27,1973,but ourrelationshipandconversationdeepenedonMarch1,2017 whenNanapassedintothenextlife.
5. foryou,youtriedtodrinkthegriefaway ourfamilythoughtyouweresober untilyoustumbledupthedoorwaysteps.
6. foryou,yousitonthecouchandwatchTV ourtimespenttogetherhasalwaysbeenonthecouch sinceIsatonyourlapwatchingsoccerandcartoons.
7. forme,Iknowyouwillbegonesomeday. Ithinkaboutsittingonthecouchalone, imaginingyouandNanabesideme, talkingaboutthewaythingsusedtobe— whenweweretogether, joyous, inseparable.
“YouandI”
Inspired
by “Birds of a Feather” by Billie Eilish
Theuniverseallowedustocollide.
Idon’tknowwhybut Itfeelssoright.
Idon’tknowwhatI’ddowithoutyou. Idon’tknowwhatI’lldowithoutyou. Ineverwanttoloseyou,butwhenIdo, You’llstillbewithme.
Whenyouleaveme, You’llneverleaveme. Whenyou’regone, AllI’llseeisyou.
You’llbewithmeintheairIbreathe. Yousettherhythmofmyheart. You’llsomedaybegone, Butyou’llalwaysbeapartofme.
Pleasedon’tleave,but Iknowwealldo. Iloveyouwithallofme,and Iknowyouknowandfeelit,too.
“Whentheworldwashurting”
Covid-19atseventeenwouldhavebeenisolatingandlonely.Luckily,Imetmyfirstgirlfriend.I thoughtwhatwehadwasrealbutfiguredoutthehardwayitwassimplyasafetynetfrom isolation.AplaceandpersonIcouldgotoforcomfortwhentheworldwashurting.
“PleaseStay”
Inspired by “Circles” by Post Malone
Feelingschangeandthingsgetold. FeelthemchangebutIdon’twannalet‘emgo. Theytrytorun,butIwant‘emtostay Pleasestay,pleasestay.
Ineedtochangesomethin’. Ireallywantthesame. ButIdon’twanttochange. Theytrytorun,butIwant‘emtostay. Pleasestay,pleasestay,pleasestay
PartII
TheHeart’sMaker
“Godis”
unconditionallove fueledbyanoverwhelmingpeace onecannotattain ontheirown.
Theworldcannotoffer eternalblessings unbound bydeath withfruits thatneverwither.
“EternalPresence”
whathappensinthefall
Leavesraindown doyouknowwhy
Chlorophyllchangestheircolorandkillsthem why’stheirdeathbeautifulandnotours
Itis,youdon’tseethebeauty whatdoyoumean
Whathappensinthespring theraincomes
Whatdoestheraindo itwaterstheplantsandtheybloomagain
Takealookallaroundyou.Don’tyousee whatdoyoumean
Peopledieliketheleavesandarerebornagaininabetterstate doesthecycleoflifeanddeathrepeatforeternity
Tosomeitdoes,toothersitdoesn’t whatdoyoumean
Someseedeathasfinal,someseeitasrebirth,othersseeitassteppingintoeternallife whichonesright
Thecolorsoftheleavesinfallarebeautifulintheirownway.Yougettochoose. butIdon’tknowwhichonetogowith
Theleavesgothroughanonstopcycleoflifeanddeath,nothumans.Theygetoneshot. whatshouldIdo
Isuggestyoufollowme.I’mtherainandchlorophyll.Igivelifeanddeath.
“It’sallhowyouseeit”
Death both separates&unites theliving and thedead. Some see itasa permanent isolation from their lovedones. Others see itasa reunion. Regardless of howyou choose tosee it itstillcomes likeathief atanytime whether youlikeit or not.
“Nonstop”
Assignments,activities,meetings,classesgalore.Forsome,lifeseemsnonstop,andtheycan’t takeanymore.Toothers,lifeisenjoyable,acontinualfeast.Someseeonlythewavescrashingat hightide,whileothersseethewater’sstillness,experiencingtruepeace.
“MondayMorningRefuel”
Iwakeupat6:15beforemytypicalclassstartsat9tospendquiettimedownstairswiththeLord atmysilentplaceatthebarcountertopinmybasement.MyfavoritetimeisspentwiththeLord, readingHisWord,anddrinkingcoffee.Irealizenothinginthisworldwilldo,butIknowthe Lordwill.
Mytypicaldaystartsthisway,butMondaysaredifferentfromtherest.Imustsitinsilencewith theLordtorefreshmysoulbecauseHedeservesmewholeheartedly.IrenewmytrustinHim thatHewillrefuelmeforthedayandweekahead.
Themessagewasgreatyesterday,butImustgoagaintoday.EveryweekbeginswithMonday andendsonSunday Therearesevendaysintheweek,notjustone.Iwisheveryone rememberedthat,includingme.
Striving for eminence doesn’t satisfy nor symbolize quintessential aims
Striving for tranquility indeed quenches unfathomable longings
“Thirst for Meaning”
PartIII
AHeartHurtsBeforeItHeals
“Memories”
oftimesatthepoolandtakinginthesun withadietcokeinhandandapb&jintheotherone.
Memoriesofbikeridestograndma’slookingforward totheconversationshadandthememoriestobemade.
Memoriesofhersmile,herconstantpraiseandadoration ofmysisterandI,andthewayshemadeusfeelsojoyous andalive.Shehassincepassedonbutthememories remain.Thingshaveneverbeenthesamesincesheleft, andIknowtheyneverwillbe,butthat’sokay.I’m soluckyIhadher,andshemademewhoIamtoday.
“TheNewMeetstheOld”
Irememberedsomethingnewtoday. AmemoryIthoughtwaslonggone. AndIwasremindedofalovedone.
Idressedupnicertoday. Adifferentexpressionofmyself. AndIlikedthepersonIsawinthemirror.
Iassessedanewmetoday Apersonsosimilaryetdifferentthanthedaybefore. AmIbecomingapersonIlovemore?
“Twostepsforward,onestepback”
Brokenbonesandbreakupnotes.Harshwordsandhatefulactions.Peopleliftusandbreakus. Attimes,we’reontopofamountainorcouldcrawlinahole.Nomatterouremotions,lifemust goon.Wetrudgealongwithourheadsheldhighandholdonhopingsomethinggreateris comingontheotherside.Twostepsforwardandonestepbackdoesn’tmeanwe’refailing. We’removingforward,andthat’sallthatmatters.
“Theater7”
Popcornjumpsaroundinthemachineandcannotcontainitsexcitement.Ipickoutmyfavorite candy,adietcoke,andorderafreshtuboftheJumpingJoy Thesmellofitsbutterhitsmynose andcomfortsme.TheemployeetellsmeI’minTheater7,andIwalkwithmythings.WhenIsit down,thelightsgoout,andthescreencomeson.Ibecomelikethepopcorn,tooexcitedto containmyself.Somethingaboutwatchingfilmsfillsmycupontheinside.Ilovemanythingsin thislife,butnothingisquitelikethisone.Anewfilmbringsanewworld,emotions,and characters.FilmgivestheslightestglimpseofHeavenoutsideourrealmofreality,aplaceto trulylive, breathe, escape, imagine.
Ideascomeandgo likeacar or secondspassingby Apencil’slead canonlywrite solong before itneedsasharpening again.
Dullpencilleadis nogoodfor anyone.
“Restwritetoreplenish”
“
Godstopsby”
Poem Title by Paige Lewis
asapersonwalkingpastmeonthestreet,sayinghello.Theyaskhowmydayisgoing, acknowledgingme.Godstopsbyasaclassmate,sittingwithme.Theyaskmehowschoolis going,howI’mdoing.Godstopsbyasateacher,showingwisdom.Theyteachme,givingme newinsightsintolife.Godstopsbyasafriend,encouragingme.Theytextmeorwemeetup forcoffee.Godstopsbyasalovedone,afamilymember.TheytellmethatI’m loved, valuable, worthy, special.
LoganMcInnesisaCommunicationandCreativeWritingstudentattheUniversityof Indianapolis.HeisanEditorandStaffWriterfortheuniversity’snewspaper, The Reflector,aNu XiChapterMemberoftheSigmaTauDeltaInternationalEnglishHonorSociety,ascriptreader forDaysoftheDeadInternationalFilmFestival,andisontheDean’sList.Loganhaswon Runner-UpfortheLucyMonroBrookerPoetryAward(2025),“BestAnimatedShortScript” (2025)attheSummerofAnimationWorkshopSerieshostedbyMoriartyMediaLLC,Indiana FilmmakersNetwork,andtheCityofCarmel,“OutstandingFirst-YearCollegeStudentin Communication”(2023),andreceivedtheDean’sScholarship(2022).