The McGill Tribune Vol. 31 Issue 24

ribune

Published by the Tribune Publication Society Volume No. 31 Issue No. 24 ■

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

S S M U to r a is e f e e s

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I n t e r - T r ib a l Y o u t h C e n t r e

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E d it o r i a l

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E a r th H o u r M ic r o s o ft U EFI W h o r e s ’ G lo r y

M L B p r e v ie w

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M asquerade protest marches dow ntow n (see p.4)

Multi-pronged mascarade protest aimed to disrupt downtown Montreal and raise awareness on student concerns. (Sam Reynolds / McGill Tribune)

Motion to censure SSMU VP External fails by vote of 11-11-1 Carolina Millân Ronchetti News Editor

A motion to censure SSMU VP External Joël Pedneault failed at SSMU Council’s meeting last Thursday, March 29, with a narrow vote of 11 for, 11 against, and one abstention. The motion, submitted to the floor by nine movers, cited several reasons to censure Pedneault, in­ cluding his use of SSMU funds to print materials promoting a student strike, his decision to grant students and members of Coalition Large de l ’Association pour la Solidarité syn­ dicale étudiante (CLASSE) afterhours access to the SSMU office, and his participation in picket lines at other Montreal universities. The motion also referenced the fact that last week the administration exclud­ ed Pedneault from the university

campus for five days. The motion was addressed dur­ ing confidential session and then de­ bated in an open session in front of a full gallery, which included mem­ bers of campus political groups, in­ cluding the Mobilization Commit­ tee (Mob Squad) and the Moderate Political Action Committee (ModPAC). In a subsequent vote, Council voted against debating in confiden­ tial session. Kady Paterson, education rep­ resentative and a mover of the mo­ tion, said that the motion was draft­ ed on the day of Council. “It’s us [movers] trying to keep our executive accountable and make sure that our constituents’ opinions are heard,” Paterson said. SSMU president Maggie Knight opened the debate by em­ phasizing the gravity of a motion to censure.

“Censure implies miscon­ duct. It implies that policies [and] rules have been violated—not that somebody’s actions were disagreed with,” Knight said. “Regarding the concerns around VP Pedneault’s political actions, I think it’s very im­ portant for the SSMU as it goes for­ ward [to consider] that no executive, councillor, or any other member of the society be a scapegoat for poli­ cies people disagree with.” Knight, who stated she would vote against the motion, continued to refute the clauses identifying the reasons for the censure. Among her reasons, she noted that allowing stu­ dent activists supporting a SSMU mandate to use SSMU printers “could be entirely appropriate.” “I’m not clear that [granting af­ ter-hours access to CLASSE mem­ bers has] been proven to be true,” Knight said. “To my knowledge, there’s no written rule that says this

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is not allowed to happen, therefore it is not a specific violation." Senator and VP University Affairs-elect Haley Dinel explained her rationale for being a co-mover of the motion. “It’s because of the actions, not because of the person,” she said. “It’s mainly because a lot of students this year have felt that the way the VP External portfolio [sic] has acted and has not [represented] undergrad­ uates as a whole.” Some councillors raised con­ cerns of the lack of clarity of some current SSMU mandates. “I think a lot of actions are being defended by the current man­ date of [promoting] accessible edu­ cation,” arts representative Joshua Fagen said. “Like councillor Her­ nandez was saying, ‘accessible’ is an extremely vague word. It’s very much open to interpretation.” Several councillors were vocal

about their concerns with the mo­ tion. “I feel that this resolution to censure VP Pedneault would effec­ tively mandate him to not do his job, which to me [is] a contradiction of what we should be promoting the executives to do,” Carol Fraser, VP Clubs and Services, said. “The pull of Council is to promote executives to do their job. If this resolution passes, I don’t know exactly what VP Pedneault is expected to do.” Arts representative Justin Fletcher described the atmosphere during debate as tense and empha­ sized the small margin of the final vote. “It was crazy to hear that it was a tied vote with one abstention,” he said. “I think it reveals some of the divided sentiments on campus.” Following the meeting, Ped­ neault said he was surprised that the See “C E N S U R E ” on page 3

redbird

SPORTS SHOP

CAMPUS

VP Pedneault among students excluded from campus Letter from Associate Dean cites fears that some students' presence on campus would be 'detrimental to good order' Kyla Mandel Managing Editor

On March 26, the McGill ad­ ministration excluded SSMU VP External Joël Pedneault and two other anonymous McGill students from the McGill campus until Fri­ day, March 30, a total of five days. Pedneault’s exclusion from the campus followed an incident after an UQAM professor held his class in room 348 of the Frank Dawson Adams Building on McGill campus Monday. According to Pedneault, the action was intended as a means to work around the strike currently occurring on the UQAM campus. Pedneault was invited by the UQAM Science Students’ Associa­ tion to observe and potentially medi­ ate the class discussion, and was the only McGill student in attendance, along with five or six people from the UQAM student association, and approximately 10 students attending the class. “There was no picket line, just people explaining that they’re on strike and that they should respect the strike,” he said. “It was really peaceful, just a discussion. People

were discussing the merits of the student strike.” After 45 minutes, the UQAM professor cancelled class, and it was around this time, according to Ped­ neault, that a McGill security agent arrived. Pedneault said the security agent stayed for a couple of min­ utes after having been called by the UQAM professor. Pedneault received an email a few hours later from Associate Dean (Student Affairs) Andre Costopoulos stating that “I have reasonable grounds to believe that your con­ tinued presence on campus is detri­ mental to good order.” Pedneault’s exclusion from campus falls under Article 21(a) of the Code of Student Conduct and Disciplinary Proce­ dures, and the email concluded stat­ ing that “At the end of this period, I will decide whether I want to recom­ mend an extension of your exclusion under Article 21.” * “It’s kind of a troubling situa­ tion, in the sense that they basically have the ability to exclude people from campus with very vague rea­ sons and there’s no clear way to contest it,” Pedneault said. “This is also not the first time

that McGill filed disciplinary pro­ ceedings against me,” he added. “In a way it’s not surprising. I’m a strong advocate of certain political positions.” According to Pedneault, the two other students who received similar emails informing them of their ex­ clusion from campus had been dis­ tributing flyers with information about the student strike outside of a class whose student association had voted to go on strike. McGill’s blog regarding dem­ onstrations outlines that "Most of­ fences under the code and most circumstances that lead to exclusion from campus under Article 21(a) involve allegations and reliable pre­ liminary evidence of repeated and systematic infringement of the rights of others in one form or another.” “Peaceful assembly, free ex­ pression, demonstration—those are never a problem,” Costopoulos ex­ plained. Costopoulos was unable to comment on specific cases, however he noted that instances such as stu­ dents who physically block access to classrooms or students who continue to pursue discussion on political top­

ics with disregard to a professor’s attempts to begin lecture, could fall under breaches of the code if allega­ tions were submitted. “There are some grey areas there, I agree,” Costopoulos said of the code of student conduct. “The basic question that you need to ask yourself always is, is there an in­ fringement on someone else’s rights in what I’m doing ... If you’re in­ fringing [on] somebody’s rights then probably it’s an offence under the code.” “It’s clear in my mind that it’s an explicitly political move on the part of the university,” Pedneault said. “All of the three people who were banned from campus support the student strike and part of the stu­ dent movement and it’s definitely in relation to that.” “No one is facing disciplinary action for free expression or demon­ stration or for assembly,” Costopou­ los said. “The only cases that I’m aware of are cases in which there’s a specific breach of the code of stu­ dent conduct.” McGill’s blog, however, notes that “Article 21(a) is not itself a dis­ ciplinary sanction, and that it does

not constitute evidence of a breach of the code of student conduct.” The email Pedneault received from McGill explained that special arrangements could be made if he needed to be on campus during his five day exclusion “for any valid ac­ ademic reason.” Pedneault has since been granted permission from Cos­ topoulos to be in the Shatner Build­ ing last Thursday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. and from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday, March 30. These arrangements enabled Pedneault to continue his work as VP External this week, however he said the exclusion had an effect on his ability do his work. “It’s slowing down the kind of work that I can do, net in a very significant kind of way but in a way that’s definitely annoying,” he said. Pedneault is currently attempt­ ing to follow through with Student Advocacy as well as with VP Uni­ versity Affairs Emily Yee Clare on the potential abuses Article 21(a) can invoke due to an unclear appeals process.

STUDENT GOVERNM ENT

SSMU may raise student fees to pay for Shatner utilities Administration and SSMU continue negotiations on lease, which expired May 31, 2011 Christy Frost Contributor

Last Thursday, March 29, SSMU Council discussed the status of the lease on the Shatner Building. “We’ve been in negotiations about the lease since our mandate was not renewed some time in the first semester,” Emily Yee Clare, VP University Affairs, said. Last November, Council voted against accepting the administra­ tion’s current lease proposal, mean­ ing that SSMU currently does not have a signed lease for the Shatner Building. In a closed council meeting, the council produced two mandates. The first stated that their general manager Pauline Gervais should at­ tend all their lease negotiations and the second that they should release a public statement about the state of negotiations. “We didn’t get a lot of helpful response from the university for a while, but over the last few weeks we have started negotiating more successfully over key concerns,” SSMU President Maggie Knight

said. “Our key concerns ... largely address issues of financial security and for SSMU to be able to plan for its financial future. We are respon­ sible for utilizing students’ money effectively.” “There will be a huge increase on SSMU’s side in terms of invest­ ment,” Clare said. “In Fall 2012 we will be likely going to referenda for the fee increase.” Knight explained that the in­ crease will most likely take the form of two fee levees. “One will be an increase to the SSMU base fee to cover utilities costs, as the university is adamant that SSMU must pay for an increas­ ing amount of its utilities,” Knight said. “[There may also be] a more short term fee levee to cover a capi­ tal investment in the HVAC (heat­ ing, ventilation and air conditioning) system.” Knight estimated an increase of five to 12 dollars per student, but emphasized that that is only a rough estimate as they are still in negotia­ tion with the university. “If we’re a student union trying for accessible education, of course

we want to keep fees down,” Clare noted. The council also discussed the student strike actions that have taken place at McGill. A few people in the gallery ex­ pressed concern over the role that SSMU Council members and SSMU resources had played in the recent student actions. “Exactly how much of those funds were allocated to Mob Squad?” Hailey Herbert, U1 Eng­ lish, asked on hearing that some SSMU funds were put towards pro­ moting accessible education. VP External Joël Pedneault ex­ plained that it would be impossible for SSMU to directly support Mob Squad, as they are not an official group. “Mob Squad doesn't exist the way people think it does,” Ped­ neault said. “Mob Squad is a Facebook page, a listserv. You can’t cut a check to Mob Squad, for example.” Shyam Patel, SSMU VP Fi­ nance and Operations, was unable to access the finance files during the meeting but encouraged any stu­ dents with questions about the way

Councillors discussed the lease. (Michael Paolucci / McGill Tribune)

SSMU money is spent to come to his office hours. The council also discussed the departmental strikes and picket lines and their effects on students. Senator Haley Dinel expressed concern over the complaints she re­ ceived from students who were pre­ vented from reaching their classes by hard picket lines. “I’m having a really hard time knowing what to tell them when they call me in a panic telling me they can’t reach their classrooms,” Dinel said. “They essentially don’t know if they have a space which is a safe space on their campus ... When

I have students coming to me saying they don’t feel safe in their build­ ings, that’s when I get concerned.” “In regards to hard picketing, that is no way to gamer support for your cause,” arts representative Jus­ tin Fletcher said. “Don’t interfere with their lives. Don’t drum, that is not a way to get anyone on your side.” Later in the discussion, a mo­ tion was put forward to release a statement condemning hard picket­ ing. The motion did not pass, how­ ever, as council members raised con­ cerns about respecting the authority of student associations.

STUDENT GOVERNM ENT

Special SSMU GA cancelled due to lack of strike motion Logistical issues including time constraints and space availability also cited as contributing factors in the decision Laura Douglas

Contributor

A Special SSMU General As­ sembly (GA) scheduled for this past Wednesday, March 28, was can­ celled after the undersigned coun­ cillors withdrew their petition. The assembly was called with the knowl­ edge that there might be a motion for a strike vote, but at the time of its cancellation no such motion had been submitted, a contributing fac­ tor to the decision to withdraw the petition. A petition to hold a Special GA of SSMU can be submitted to the speakers of council signed by eight SSMU Councillors, or 200 mem­

bers of SSMU, who must be from at least four faculties or schools (with no more than 50 per cent of signa­ tures coming from any one faculty or school). According to speakers of council Nida Nizam and Michael Tong, eight councillors signed the petition for the GA. Adam Winer, one of the under­ signed councillors on the petition, said that the movers of the petition had decided to withdraw it. “The GA would likely have revolved around a student strike, although no motion, to my knowl­ edge, was submitted to that effect before the cancellation of the GA,” Winer said.

SSMU President Maggie Knight noted that the speakers did not receive further interest in sub­ mitting a strike motion. “There was no concerted effort to create a strike motion,” Knight said. “And the speakers had not re­ ceived any other indication of inter­ est in submitting motions.” SSMU VP External Joël Pedneault suggested a reason for the lack of interest in a SSMU strike motion for the GA. “At SSMU, even if there’s mas­ sive turnout it’s always going to be a small proportion of the [student body],” he said. “I feel like people preferred [holding GAs] at the de­ partment or faculty level.”

A ‘yes’ vote on a strike motion would have enabled all undergradu­ ates at the downtown campus to go on strike, joining the more than 200,000 Quebec students currently on strike in protest against the Que­ bec government’s planned tuition increases. Aside from the fact that no motions were submitted, there were other concerns that led to the can­ cellation, including the difficulty of finding a practical location and time for an assembly of this size. “[The 500 person quorum] is larger than any space available in the SSMU Building,” Knight said. “I believe the petitioners ... wanted to establish a date and time where

it was possible to book other spaces on campus, as it is difficult to book multiple large lecture halls at short notice.” Student responses to the planned General Assembly were also taken into account when decid­ ing to withdraw the petition. “Some students had raised concerns about the timing of the GA falling at a very academically heavy point in the semester,” Knight said. “The special General Assem­ bly would have been an excellent way to encourage student dialogue on the strike and any other topic,” Shyam Patel, VP Finance and Op­ erations, added. “However, the time constraint was not ideal.”

CAMPUS

Censure continued from

cover

motion was submitted. “A lot of concerns they raised, I never had even gotten an email about,” Pedneault said, referencing the clauses regarding after-hours use of SSMU facilities. “The most shocking part of it was the allusion to disciplinary proceedings against me on campus,” he added. “The discussion at SSMU is, ‘do we censure Joël Pedneault, in part because he was censured by the university in some w ay?”’ he said. “I don’t see how it makes any sense in terms of challenging power dy­ namics and abuses of power, and I think it’s a real shame that that's the discussion we have tonight instead of ‘do we condemn the university’s arbitrary exclusion of three students from campus for no clear reason and no clear procedure?”’ Both Fletcher and Paterson noted that the debate might have been different had it occurred in a confidential session, without the pressure of a majority pro-strike gallery. “I think it’s fine that [the mo­ tion] didn’t pass,” Paterson said. “I think the point was to voice our concerns and air our problems, and actually give them some w eight... I think that’s what we’ve done. Pass­ ing doesn’t matter.” Pedneault noted that he will continue to support the strike and the Quebec student movement against tuition increases. “If the censure motion had passed, I think I still would have been able to walk with my head high,” he said. “I don’t see myself as having committed anything wrong, overstepping any boundaries or going against SSMU mandates.”

Mac campus issues heard at third Open Forum Dean Manfredi led discussion on free speech, protest, and security at Mac campus Erica Friesen and Carolina Millân Ronchetti

News Editors

On March 27, Dean of Arts Christopher Manfredi held the third of four open fora at Macdonald Cam­ pus. In addition to a group of about 30 attendees, most of whom were faculty members and staff, Provost Anthony Masi and Deputy-Provost (Student Life and Learning) Morton Mendelson were also present. The Open Forum project was mandated by Principal Heather Munroe-Blum following Dean of Law Daniel Jutras’ report on the events of Nov. 10. In his report, Jutras rec­ ommended the creation of activities that would allow the McGill com­ munity to debate “the meaning and scope of the rights of free expression and peaceful assembly on campus,” as well as issues like the securitiza­ tion of the university. “I know in a bucolic atmo­ sphere like Mac campus these may seem like downtown issues—pro­ tests, picketing and various activi­ ties like that,” Manfredi said as he opened the discussion. “But it seems to me that it’s important to get the views of the entire university com­ munity, which includes Mac cam­ pus. And Mac campus may in fact have its own issues around these lines that we’re not aware of.” Manfredi asked whether there

were any areas in Macdonald cam­ pus that are particularly vulnerable and should perhaps be out of bounds for protesting. A professor who could not be identified noted that the greenhouses should be out of bounds, as sensitive research going on there, on issues like genetic en­ gineering, might be compromised by disruptions or alterations of the space. Some professors noted that the tone of McGill MRO’s have not been conducive to dialogue. “As a professor you felt caught in the middle between the colleagues that we felt very close to and the university’s position,” Tim Johnson, professor of dietetics and nutrition, said. “And the messages we got via email set a tone that certainly made me feel like I better not speak out on an issue like this. This dampens our enthusiasm to express ourselves on a number of issues.” Manfredi brought up the secu­ ritization of campus and alluded to the security issues of Macdonald campus, including recent attacks on homosexual students. Professor Carolyn Begg expressed concerns that the community was notified of the attacks seven hours after they occurred, noting that community members often worked late at night. “[The issue is] security on the campus—it’s almost the opposite problem [as in the downtown cam­

pus],” she said. “There’s a lot of access, and it’s about my personal security, not from students, but from outside people.” George McCourt, a professor with the McGill school of environ­ ment, suggested that the intimate en­ vironment provided by Macdonald campus means that students view their relationship to the university community differently than students at the downtown campus. “I think there’s more of a [sense of] community out here, [whereas] the students downtown see themselves as anonymous,” he said. “When you’re anonymous [or] you’re having a conversation with someone who’s anonymous, I think your reaction is quite different than out here when you’re having a con­ versation with a student.” According to McCourt, this sense of anonymity could lead some students, such as the Nov. 10 occu­ piers of the James Administration Building, to use more radical tactics to have their voices heard. Manfredi then asked the audience what could be done to lessen the sense of ano­ nymity at the downtown campus. Begg said that one of the rea­ sons Macdonald campus has such a strong sense of community is be­ cause professors engage with stu­ dents on levels outside of the lecture hall—for example, by becoming in­ volved with student groups.

www.mcgilltribune.com

Gary Pekeles, director of the McGill University Health Centre’s Northern and Native Child Health Program, suggested that part of the reason Macdonald campus has a strong sense of community is be­ cause their small size and population makes the campus much more man­ ageable than the downtown campus. “[At the downtown campus] there is variability within day-to-day encounters and the intimacy of those encounters, but somehow, within the dynamics of the large strike in particular, there is a dampening of that effect that doesn’t exist here [at Macdonald campus] because of our isolation,” he said. Much of the forum focused on the terminology associated with the university community. According to Associate Vice-Principal Jim Nicell, one of the main problems facing McGill is how the university sees its own role in the community. “We’ve evolved to be more and more of a rule-based organization, and there’s a sense that we need to get the rules right so we can get ev­ erybody organized, and then all we have to do is behave by the rules,” he said. “But once we get a set of rules, life becomes black and white, and I don’t think the issues we’re talking about are really black and white.”

Tuesday, April 3, 2011 4

NEWS

Curiosity delivers. I

CITY

Student mobilize in four-pronged protest Demonstration highlights government statement against use of masks in participative democracy Erica Friesen News Editor

Last Thursday, March 29, a four-pronged student demonstration wound its way through downtown Montreal in a festively themed dem­ onstration that aimed to disrupt the economic activity of the downtown area and highlight several political grievances of the students. The protest, called Manifes­ tation la Grande Mascarade, was organized by la Fédération Univer­ sitaire et Collégiale des Étudiant-es Révolté-es (FUC*ER), and pro­ moted by the Coalition Large de l ’Association pour la Solidarité syn­ dicale étudiante (CLASSE). Organized around the concept of a masked ball, the protest was divided into four groups with each assigned a specific colour and a specific issue to criticize tuition fee increases, police brutality, strike­ breaking tactics, and the non-repre­ sentative stance of several Quebec student unions during the student strike. In accordance with the mas­ querade theme of the protest, many participants wore colourful masks and costumes, drawing on the French tradition of the “charivari.” “In popular contexts, the chari­ vari was a moment when villagers donned costumes and masks and heckled a person in their home in order to criticize their conduct,” CLASSE’s announcement of the event said. “[This protest] will re­

Multi-coloured approach raises awareness of student concerns. (Michael Paolucci / McGill Tribune)

appropriate this practice by invad­ ing the heart of Montreal in order to paralyze the economic and gov­ ernmental elite, who are deemed il­ legitimate and harmful for the com­ munity.” Starting around noon in Phillips Square, the protest split into the four groups, which headed in different directions around the city’s down­ town. Protesters were largely peace­ ful, singing, chanting, and playing instruments to attract the attention of bystanders. “We’re trying to protest in a fes­ tive way, without violence,” Steve Melanson, a protester and teacher at the CEGEP Regional De Lanaudière à L’assomption, said. “The violence

is symbolic in the way we dress. In the old times, when a family did something wrong, [people] did not go to that family and attack them, but they’d go in front of their house and make noise and sing something ... So it’s a symbolic protest.” Some protesters also over­ turned construction signs or moved objects on the sidewalk into the mid­ dle of the street. Many storeowners and observers smiled or applauded as the demonstration passed along main streets like St. Catherine and Sherbrooke. Around 2:30 p.m., the four groups converged at Place des Arts, before moving to Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM), where

protestors played music, danced, and burned an effigy of Quebec Pre­ mier Jean Charest. In addition to the tradition of the charivari, some protesters pointed the masquerade theme as a response to Montreal Mayor Gérald Tremblay’s recent comments about the use of masks in protests. Trem­ blay said he was “disgusted” by the violence of the March 15 anti-police brutality march, which included an overturned police car, damage to several stores along St. Catherine, and over 200 arrests. “If people want to demonstrate and have legitimate demands, no ad­ ministration has done more to pro­ mote participative democracy,” he

said in a press conference after the anti-police brutality protest. “That said, I take for granted that people who want to demonstrate can do so with their faces uncovered.” In 2009, the Service de police de la Ville de Montreal (SPVM) asked that Montreal create an anti­ mask law, but the law was never ad­ opted because of concerns that it in­ fringed on personal freedoms. Other cities like New York, however, have and enforce anti-mask laws. Tremblay has announced that Montreal’s public security com­ mission will be investigating every aspect of public demonstrations, in­ cluding the use of masks, in an effort to prevent the recurrence of violent incidences like those of the anti-po­ lice brutality march. Protestor and UQAM student Guy Benoit-Foumel said that the idea of prosecuting student protes­ tors for wearing masks would be problematic. “Wearing a mask can be a form of expression, which is covered under freedom of expression,” he said. “If you tried to put this in the regulation of the city, you would give an arbitrary power to the police to decide whether someone wear­ ing a mask is legal or not ... And in the criminal code, if you cover your identity to commit a criminal infrac­ tion it’s already a crime, so there is no need for [this regulation].”

CITY

Montreal's Inter-Tribal Youth Centre closes indefinitely Centre addressing needs of aboriginal youth shut down due to lack of government funding Julia Chu Contributor

The Inter-Tribal Youth Centre (ITYC) was closed indefinitely on Friday, March 30 due to funding shortages. The ITYC was located in the basement of its parent organisa­ tion, the Native Friendship Centre of Montreal (NFCM), and together they constituted the frontline in sheltering Montreal’s urban aborigi­ nal community. The ITYC was the only aboriginal centre available in Montreal to address the needs of ab­ original youth, and offered services ranging from healthcare to cultural development. ITYC assistant co-ordinator Erin Montour explained that the centre provides programs including life skills development, goal-setting,

leadership development, and cultur­ al development. “These activities have been pivotal in allowing our youth to reach their goals and succeed in their lives,” Montour said. “Our centre is an essential space where youth can make ties with their community in urban Montreal. Our closure is a devastating loss for the well-being of our youth.” The closure of the ITYC is a consequence of a large structural change that has been occurring in stages since September 2011, when the NFCM was subject to investi­ gation by federal funding authori­ ties. This investigation was carried out in addition to management and administration-related issues of the Aboriginal Friendship Centre Pro­ gram (AFCP), a nation-level opera­

tion which oversees the operations of affiliated provincial/territorial associations and Aboriginal Friend­ ship Centres such as the NFCM. Au­ thorities cited inconsistencies with established national AFCP criteria and guidelines, and the operations of AFCP were subsequently trans­ ferred to the Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development Canada, ef­ fective April 1,2012. These national shifts in man­ agement and administration eventu­ ally led to a decision by the Provin­ cial-Territorial Association and the Regroupement des centres d’amitié autochtones du Québec (RCAAQ) to suspend NFCM’s provincial membership, limiting the centre’s access to AFCP’s core funding of $ 171,237 for the fiscal year of 2011 2012 and beyond. The decision es­

sentially terminates NFCM’s opera­ tions—including the ITYC. “The implications and impact in terms of cultural loss and access to programming and basic services ... are particularly serious for Montreal’s urban native community,” NFCM’s executive director Brett Pineau said. In an effort to reverse the ef­ fects of RCAAQ’s decisions, the NFCM are organising a letter-writ­ ing campaign, as well as circulating petitions to reinstate funding for the centre. Allan Vicaire, the project coordinator on the Aboriginal Sus­ tainability Project supported by the Social Equity and Diversity Educa­ tion (SEDE) of McGill University, wrote a letter to RCAAQ to support NFCM’s cause. “The Native Friendship Centre

of Montreal and Inter-Tribal Yout Centre are valued partners in our efforts to foster awareness of ab­ original issues on McGill campu and throughout the Montreal Coni munity,” Vicaire wrote in the letter to the president, executive director and members of the RCAAQ. "As part of our obligation to sustain local aboriginal presence and maintain a vital community, I ask you to recon sider your decision to cease funding for [NFCM and ITYC].” NFCM is also organizing com­ munity mobilization and action, with a Grassroots Day of Action and Mobilization planned at their centre on Thursday, April 4 from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

S P EA K ER

S e m in a r d is c u s s e s s e x u a l s la v e r y in A s ia d u rin g W W II Movie and discussion emphasized the need for modern-day recognition of comfort women's plight Nadia Abramson

Contributor

Last Friday, March 30, the McGill Golden Key Society and the East Asian Students’ Associa­ tion hosted “Sexual Slavery and the Asian Holocaust: A Seminar on the Comfort Women Issue in East Asia.” McGill East Asian studies professors Brian Bergstrom and Adrienne Hur­ ley provided historical background and demonstrated the importance of the ongoing issues facing “comfort women.” These comfort women were the thousands of women from Korea, China, and other Asian nations were forced into sexual slavery by the Japanese military during World War II. The women were forced to travel across Asia, offering sexual grati­ fication to Japanese soldiers. Male visitors lined up outside of comfort camps to repeatedly rape women as young as 12, assaults that resulted in venereal disease, injury, and death. The system was conducted under the official supervision of the Japanese government, a reality that

modern-day Japanese officials con­ tinue to ignore. Ever since Jan. 8, 1992, a group of the 61 registered survivors in South Korea meet every Wednesday on the steps of the Japa­ nese Embassy in Seoul to protest these atrocities that occurred over half a century ago. “[The] Japanese have been firm on this issue,” Hyun-Soo Lim, Golden Key member and the lead­ ing co-ordinator of the McGill Com­ fort Women Lecture said. “The idea of shame for them is very different from Western or Korean culture. You would think apologizing would be a way to deal with that guilt, but that would implicate their ancestors, which is disrespectful.” Surviving comfort women, or “grandmas,” as their supporters pre­ fer to call them, do not think that cultural sensitivity is a valid excuse for crimes against humanity. During the early 1990s, the women took their case to the interna­ tional community, asking the Inter­ national Criminal Court (ICC) and the UN Human Rights Commission to pressure the Japanese government with an official ruling on the com­

fort women issue. In 1995, the UN Commission and numerous other international bodies agreed that the Japanese should offer compensa­ tion and issue an official apology for their involvement in the recruitment and rape of these women. As of today, over 20 years after the grandmas started protesting for an apology, there has still been no compensation or apology made. Japanese officials avoid the issue, stating that suffering is a natural part of war, and that rape is an inevitable occurrence in these circumstances. “If the goal of having certain rules is to prevent harm, whose per­ ception of harm is recognized as valid?” Hurley asked. During the seminar, students could participate in a silent auction for a lunch date with McGill profes­ sors to raise money for the ShimTuh shelter in Korea, a home that provides assistance for the surviving Korean comfort women. Twentytwo professors volunteered from all faculties, including law, medicine, political science, and philosophy. Although this seminar empha­ sized the specific issue of Japanese

Brian Bergstrom discusses comfort women. (Alexandra Allaire / McGill Tribune)

comfort women, it also aimed to place the decades-old issue into a modem perspective. “This seminar is not just about the past, it’s about connecting these issues to today,” Lim explained. “This is the same system of injustice and silence that perpetuates all these crimes. We want a full, round picture that connects all similar internation­ al issues.” In the introduction of the seminar, attendees viewed a short movie that included interviews with some of the survivors. One woman warned that Japan’s avoidance of the

issue sets a dangerous precedent for similar situations in other countries. Students who attended the sem­ inar appreciated the opportunity to broaden their understanding of the Second World War. “I had read about the rape of Nanjing, but I didn’t know much about comfort women,” Golden Key member Juliette Chausson said. “Usually when people talk about World War II, they focus on the Western Holocaust and don’t talk about Asia. [The seminar] was really eye-opening.”

CAMPUS

Q a t a r d o n a t e s $ 1 .2 5 m illio n to Is la m ic S t u d ie s In s t it u t e Gift commemorating the 60th anniversary of the Institute will be used for events and graduate funding Jimmy Lou

Contributor

On Monday, March 26, Qa­ tar’s Ambassador to Canada Salem Al-Shafi announced a sizable dona­ tion of $1.25 million to McGill Uni­ versity and its Institute of Islamic Studies, in commemoration of the institute’s 60th anniversary this year. Announced during Al-Shafi’s visit to McGill on behalf of the State of Qatar last week, the gift will be used to assist the institute in furthering the understanding of Islamic history and culture. McGill’s Institute of Islamic Studies was established in 1952. In a statement released by McGill Uni­ versity, Al-Shafi praised the institute for its historic role in advancing re­ search concerning the people, his­ tory, and civilization of the Islamic world. “The institute shares our vision that knowledge and education are key to [meeting] the challenges of our changing world and [providing] the tools to better understand the ever-evolving relationship between religion and mankind and how it has contributed to our well-being and the coexistence of peoples,” he said. Up until this point, the insti­

tute did not have a formal relation­ ship with the State of Qatar, but the Institute of Islamic Studies has received many large donations in its 60 years of existence. Foundations such as the Rockefeller Foundation and Ford Foundation contributed large donations during the institute’s early years to support learning and teaching in the program. More re­ cently, the State of Kuwait donated $350,000 to fund scholarships and prizes at the undergraduate and graduate level for students in Islam­ ic studies programs in 2007. “The success of the Institute of Islamic Studies is important to the State of Qatar because they share an interest in expanding the knowledge of ... Islamic religion and culture,” Administrative Assistant Andrew Staples said on behalf of Professor Jamil Ragep, Director of the Insti­ tute of Islamic Studies. “The inter­ national reputation of the Institute of Islamic Studies is well known in the field and the institute is recognized for its unique character in focusing on more than just one region or facet of Islam.” At present, the institute’s pro­ gram offers training in Arabic, Per­ sian, Turkish, and Urdu languages to both undergraduate and graduate

McGill's prestigious Institute of Islamic Studies was established in 1952. (Simon Poitrimolt / McGill Tribune)

students. Its strengths range from pre-colonial Islamic history, phi­ losophy, theology, and law to Islam in South Asia, Ottoman and Turkish Studies, and Arabic and Persian lit­ erature. The diversity of students’ eth­ nicity provides an international atmosphere that facilitates learn­ ing and active cultural interactions. Some of its most successful PhD

graduates have landed top-ranking academic jobs at North American institutions such as Harvard, Yale, and Princeton as well as many lead­ ing Canadian universities. According to representatives of the institute, this funding will be used to fund conferences, events, and cultural expositions, such as Is­ lamic art and music, in 2012-2013. In addition, a portion of the money

will be set aside for graduate student funding so that the program can bet­ ter sustain itself and support its stu­ dents in the future. “The institute is excited about this gift and how it will be used to celebrate both the 60 years of the institute’s existence and beyond, as it will continue to fund graduate students’ education into the future,” Staples said.

T r ib u n e WWW.MCGIUTRIBUNE.COM

Editor-in-Chief Shannon Kimball editor@ mcgilltribune .com Managing Editors Kyla Mandel kmandel@ mcgilltribune .com Ryan Taylor rtaylor@ mcgilltribune .com

EDITORIAL

Production Manager Iain Macdonald imacdonald@ mcgilltribune .com

Why motion to censure Pedneault was a bad call Last Thursday, March 29, a mo­ tion was submitted to SSMU coun­ cil proposing to censure SSMU’s VP External, Joël Pedneault. The mo­ tion, moved by nine council mem­ bers, only narrowly failed to pass, with a vote of 11 for, 11 against, and one abstention. The Tribune believes the nine movers of the motion were unwise to use the tactic of censure as a means to discipline Pedneault. A motion to censure does not exactly help to cre­ ate a stable atmosphere at SSMU, and such a close result will be very unhelpful in assuaging the increas­ ingly prevalent political polarization on campus. Had the motion passed, it would surely have had a negative effect on student politics. A censure of Pedneault would have caused re­ sentment from many students who believe he is doing his best to repre­ sent their interests, and would have placed a great strain on the rest of the SSMU executives. Had such negative politics not happened before, a motion for cen­ sure might have been more forgiveable. However, a similar motion was brought forth just last year, and to disastrous effect. The motion to impeach former SSMU President

Zach Newburgh—regardless of the motion’s legitimacy—induced an atmosphere lacking in co-operation among the executives for the re­ mainder of the year. [E ditor’s n ote: Zach N ewburgh sits on the TPS B oard o f D irectors.] The movers of the censure motion therefore failed to learn from past mistakes. In addition, the motion itself was grounded on some dubious foundations. Some reasons may have been based on understandable concerns, but the use of a censure is a disproportionate and overtly public reaction to something that could have stayed more low key and constructive. Certainly, the Tribune agrees with the motion’s movers that Pedneault’s decision to allow members of the Coalition Large de l’Association pour la Solidarité Syn­ dicale étudiante (CLASSE), the or­ ganisation behind the Quebec-wide student strike, after-hours access to the SSMU office was an inappropri­ ate use of the VP External’s author­ ity. We hold this view because of the fact that SSMU is neither a member of CLASSE nor on strike, and such perks should be reserved for McGill students and organizations. Yet some reasons were not fair

and not accurate. A motion to cen­ sure is a means to sort out a consti­ tutional technicality, a punitive mea­ sure to deal with members of the SSMU executive inexcusably over­ stepping their mandate. Indeed, crit­ icising Pedneault’s participation in the strike and his active involvement on the picket lines of other universi­ ties in Montreal is misguided. Con­ sidering the other Montreal univer­ sities are currently on strike, where else is a VP External, McGill’s liason officer with other Quebec uni­ versities, supposed to liase with our fellow Quebec students—something that constitutes an essential part of his mandate—other than on the picket lines? Moreover, the movers are not respecting Pednault’s right as an individual to participate in the Quebec-wide student strike. As a student representative for McGill, it does make it more difficult for him to do this, but it is not incompatible for him to represent McGill inter­ ests during his day job, and his own when he is not on the clock. Furthermore, the movers were unfair to cite the administration’s exclusion of Pedneault from the university campus for five days as a reason for censure. Surely the exclu­

sion is a punishment in itself. The motion is merely seeking to punish Pedneault for getting punished. One co-author claimed that the she was satisfied with the result be­ cause the aim was partly to voice concerns. Using the possibility of punishment of a VP to facilitate a discussion is inappropriate. We would not be surprised if future ex­ ecutives failed to fulfill their man­ dates for fear that any misstep— which should be addressed privately first—may result in a censure. Therefore the Tribune believes that the motion to censure Pedneault was not well thought out, and was an excessively inflammatory means to sort out a problem that could have been far better solved through per­ suasive discretion. Had a more dis­ crete means already been repeatedly tried to no avail, it would have been a different story, but it was also up to the motion’s movers to make this clear. As they did not, they come across as going against Pedneault for reasons of complaints with ide­ ology rather than the more just rea­ son for motions, that of a technical complaint.

News Editors Erica Friesen and Carolina Millân Ronchetti news @mcgilltribune .com Opinion Editor Richard Martyn-Hemphill opinion@mcgilltribune.com Science & Technology Editor Anand Bery scitech @mcgil ltribune .com Arts & Entertainment Editor Nick Petrillo arts @mcgilltribune .com Sports Editors Steven Lampert and Christopher Nardi sports@ mcgilltribune .com Photo Editor Sam Reynolds photo@mcgilltribune.com Senior Design Editor Kathleen Jolly kjolly@mcgilltribune.com Design Editor Susanne Wang design @mcgilltribune .com Online Editor Victor Temprano online@mcgilltribune.com Copy Editor Marri Lynn Knadle copy@mcgilltribune.com Advertising Manager Corina Sferdenschi cpm@ ssmu .mcgill .ca Publisher Chad Ronalds

TPS Board of Directors Jam es G ilm an (C hair): chair@ m cgilltribune.com Johanu B otha, K athleen Jolly, S hannon K im ball, Iain M acdonald, A lex M iddleton, Z ac h N ew burgh

Contributors N ad ia A bram son, A lexandra A llaire, H rant B ardajikan. Ilia B linderm an, N oah C aldw ell-R afferty, Ju lia C hu, L aura D ouglas, T re v o r D rum m ond, Josh F reedm an. C hristy F rost, Jam es G ilm an , A lex K noll, Jim m y L ou, M ichael P ao lu cc i,

Sim on P oitrim olt, Jo sh P rizanu

Vanessa S alv o , T ara R ichter S m ith,

Tribune Offices Editorial

Mourning the loss of Katimavik Canadian identity has always been elusive; like a tentative adoles­ cent, Canada seems unable to defini­ tively grasp a self-image that reso­ nates. But Canada, I sympathize. At only 2 1 ,1 am more than familiar with that wrenching internal ten­ sion, swinging between the desire to conform while desperately seeking my own niche. Luckily for me, however, I had the opportunity to step away from all of those stresses that make find­ ing an identity so difficult. Pressure to succeed in school and choose a career path, family expectations, and the suffocating high school reputation all washed away when I stepped onto the airplane to embark on my journey with Katimavik. Let me digress for a moment to clarify. ‘Katimavik’ has been a bit of a buzzword in Canadian media these

past few days. Axed on March 29 by the federal budget, there has been a small whirlwind of online petitions, commentary, and tweets opposing the federal government’s move. Katimavik is a federally-funded program aimed at promoting civic engagement in youth, ages 17-21. Each Katimavik group is composed of 11 youths from across the coun­ try, representing the geographic, socio-economic and ethnic diversity of Canadians. For six months, these young Canadians live and volunteer together at a variety of community development projects across the country. The federal government cut the program, citing its new austerity measures and “excessive per-person costs.” It has been almost two years since I completed Katimavik, and I still am still reaping the benefits of the program. In the few months I spent in Katimavik, I worked at an animal shelter, volunteered at a seniors home, helped co-ordinate other volunteers at a youth com­ munity center, and participated in

a literacy program at a francophone elementary school. Beyond the ac­ tual volunteer placements, I got an education unlike any academic in­ stitution could offer. From the mun­ dane-learning to balance a house­ hold budget—to the exceptional— managing ethnically charged inter­ personal conflicts—I grew more as an individual in the few months I spent in Katimavik than in my en­ tire high school career. Perhaps most significantly, through Katimavik, I met other Canadians whose tireless work to better their community, con­ tagious optimism, and unconditional generosity have left an indelible impression on me, and have funda­ mentally shaped who I am and who I aspire to be. Despite the success of my par­ ticular experience, and the bitter­ ness I feel knowing that other young Canadians will not have such an in­ credible opportunity, this isn’t just about Katimavik. This isn’t even just about the annual budget or ad­ versarial, partisan politics. Canada is at a pivotal moment in deciding how

it wants to be perceived both inter­ nationally and by its own citizens. Beyond political rhetoric or token symbols, true Canadian values are reflected in the policies we choose. Over Katimavik’s 30-plus years of operation we have seen the tens of thousands of youth travel the coun­ try, contribute to local community development, and take the time to reflect on their values to make an in­ formed choice about who they want to be and how they want to contrib­ ute. Canada is on the cusp of the same decision, and we need to col­ lectively choose what kind of coun­ try we want to build. If Canadians agree that Katimavik no longer has a place in our society, I can abide by that choice. But we need to be aware that the recent decisions made by our federal government reflect more than just mundane number crunch­ ing; these are the decisions that in­ form who we are as Canadians. The time for tentative adolescence is past. -A lex Neville

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COLUMNISTS McGillLeaks are not worth a legal crusade

Last month the anonymous group “McGillLeaks” published confidential documents from Mc­ Gill’s office of Development and Alumni Relations. The administra­ tion has been seriously investigat­ ing the leak, even bringing in the police to help. Their response has been aggressive and effective, and the “McGillLeaks” website was quickly taken down. The univer­ sity’s lawyers also sent letters to a

Chronicles of a Curioso,

Fighting for Internet freedom on two fronts

Never mind that public opposi­ tion shut down internet regulation laws SOPA and PIPA in the United States. Never mind that protestors in the European Union managed to delay the progress of their version, ACTA, through the courts so that (knowing European bureaucracy) the law may never in fact be en­ acted. Now it’s Canada’s turn to try to weasel punitive Internet laws through parliament that censor users and infringe on personal privacy. Oh Harper, you sneaky one, you. The two parliamentary bills are C-11 and C-30. While C -ll is benignly called the Copyright Mod­

U.S. university applications process is far from ideal

Four years ago I sat down in my living room with a middle-aged woman who upon first impressions seemed kind and respectful. It was my Yale entrance interview. Palms sweaty and nerves high, I plod­ ded through the first 25 minutes before she stopped me and said, “You’re not being very articulate, you know.” Needless to say, I didn’t get in. I’m not telling this anecdote just to humiliate myself. Rather, the

number of individuals and media organizations, including the Daily Publication Society (which pub­ lishes the Daily and le Délit), asking them to delete any references to the leaked documents as well as to re­ move links to the now-defunct site. The administration’s treatment of the DPS sparked a debate over the proper balance between an organi­ zation’s right to protect its privacy and the media’s freedom to publish stories dealing with leaked infor­ mation. The DPS argues that since the D aily was not involved in steal­ ing the confidential information, they aren’t legally prohibited from publishing stories on the documents once they’re made public. The question of whether media outlets are allowed to use this infor­ mation, even though it was made public illegally, could have been settled in the courts. Unfortunately,

the DPS simply wouldn’t be able to sustain a lengthy legal battle with McGill. The DPS might have a case, but the courts have generally looked at these sorts of “media freedom” is­ sues on a case-by-case basis. The common sense, and hope­ fully the legal, standard for these cases is whether stories based on leaked documents contribute valu­ able information to the public. For example, if a government or orga­ nization is engaged in illegal behav­ iour, then reporting using illegally leaked information can be justified, and both media organizations and whistleblowers should be legally protected. However, publishing stories based on stolen information simply for the sake of transparency, without any greater purpose, is not justified and, preferably, editors would keep such stories out. The “McGillLeaks” case seems

to be the latter. The leaked docu­ ments contained mainly personal information about donors. Some may argue that we all have the right to know this information. We don’t. They may also argue that the “Mc­ GillLeaks” documents reveal uneth­ ical behaviour by the university, and therefore reporting on them is justi­ fied. I don’t agree with this, and Mc­ Gill certainly doesn’t. But, ideally, a court would decide who is right. However, the Daily decided to comply with some of McGill’s demands by removing links to the “McGillLeaks” site and refraining from publishing material on the con­ tent of the documents. This was the right call. The “McGillLeaks” in­ formation just isn’t worth it. There wasn’t anything shocking or overly contentious in there. This may be a matter of principle for the DPS, and it would be interesting to see how

much freedom media outlets have to publish stories based on illegally ob­ tained information, but they would be foolish to risk so much in this case. Of course, the worst that should happen to the DPS is that they are forced to remove any stories on “McGillLeaks.” The D aily did not steal the documents, and we’re only talking about whether they have the right to publish stories based on them only once they’ve been made public. Whoever leaked or stole these documents is the real culprit here, and hopefully McGill’s inves­ tigation will identify them. The con­ tent of the documents did not justify making them public, and whoever is responsible is not a heroic whistle­ blower, just a thief.

ernization Act, C-30 has a catchier title: the Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act. According to Public Safety Minister’s Vic Toews. you “either stand with us or with the child pomographers.” There’s no question here about who the good guys are. Society, myself includ­ ed, generally disapproves of child pomographers. According to Mr. Toews’ ultimatum, however, I will have to stand with the child pomog­ raphers on this one. The majority of Canadians, ac­ cording to an Angus Reid poll, also stand with the child pomographers, and for good reason: naming this bill the “Protecting Children from Inter­ net Predators Act” is misleading, if not a flat-out lie. C-30, from what I understand, has less to do with cracking down on Internet predators than creating an Orwellian surveil­ lance system. The bill includes a provision that allows the govern­ ment to force Internet providers to disclose subscriber data w ithout a warrant. These data are not simply names, addresses, and phone num­

bers, which the government already has. We’re talking about our email addresses, email and text message content, what websites we’ve visit­ ed, and what digital transactions like uploading and downloading we’ve made. And since global position­ ing systems have built-in tracking devices, police would be able to— again, without a warrant—activate these devices and find you, wherev­ er you are, to figure out what you’re doing, whenever you’re doing it. If this isn’t Big Brother watching you, I don’t know what is. Ironically, as this bill has been proposed by the Conservative gov­ ernment, the province that is offend­ ed most by warrantless citizen-stalk­ ing is Alberta, which, with its love of beef, oil, and conservatism, has always reminded me of the Canadi­ an version of Texas. I find Alberta’s opposition to the bill comforting: if the most Conservative province in Canada does not support these acts, why is Harper’s government propos­ ing it? Scarily enough, if the govern­

ment doesn’t pass these acts, Big Brother will still be watching us, just from a more capitalist platform. We are already user-profiled and moni­ tored by social media giants like Google and Facebook. Google being the largest of my concerns, I recent­ ly deleted my entire account, losing Youtube and my blog in the process, only to discover that the smartphone I use for web-browsing purposes is an Android, which also belongs to Google. I comfort myself with the knowledge that Androids are com­ posed of non-official open-source software, but the reality is that I re­ ally can’t escape Google’s clutches. They know where I am, whenever they want to. Apparently this is for my con­ venience. Google has now secured a patent on a novel technology that al­ lows them to monitor and broadcast environmental data from my phone. The idea, according to the patent document, is that if Google’s serv­ er discovers I am in the middle of Texas in summertime, I will receive a text message advertising air condi­

tioners. If I am caught in downpour, I will be directed towards the nearest umbrella stand. If I am facing frost­ bite in Montreal winter, Google will kindly remind me to buy a winter coat. Convenience, according to this example, is terrifyingly intru­ sive. I know mobiles can already be traced, making C-30’s provisions for citizen stalking possible, but the idea of a constant communication loop between Google’s server and my mobile as part of an adver­ tising scheme is creepy. We have a right to privacy. We should be able to send emails without governments peeking over our shoulders and we should be able to step outside with our phones without our steps being monitored by multi-million-dollar organizations. Public opposition to similar laws shut them down in the US and the EU, and as the Conser­ vatives put forward these bills, it’s Canada’s turn to speak up.

comment serves to display the con­ trast between the student-university relationship in America and Can­ ada—and the differences in what each side of the relationship expects from the other. Differences can be seen almost immediately as the relationship is formed. The American entrance process has 17-year-olds shaking in their boots for the better part of a year. It is cause for momentous celebration when in late December the last of the “Submit” buttons are clicked. The litany of requirements for just one application can amount to three to five essays, an interview, recommendations from teachers, and letters from guidance counselors (on top of the SATs, SAT Ils, ACTs, and APs). Not so for McGill. Yes, the

test scores are needed, but that was about it. If your GPA is good, wel­ come! And yet, the calibre of stu­ dents at McGill is as high or higher than any American school, and Mc­ Gill continues to produce some of the finest minds in North America. This, then, begs the question, how arbitrary is the rigorous dog and pony show that has become Ameri­ can college admissions? And what is McGill doing right in their expecta­ tions of young aspiring academics? The answer to these questions explains my nightmare of an Ivy League interview and highlights the benefits of the unique universitystudent relationship which McGill has created. The McGill model as­ sumes the student is an untapped reserve. Their admissions process is an instigation of this model, a beck­

oning which is underpinned by the presumption that academic aspira­ tion is brimming from every pore. A sense of responsibility is instilled in the creation of this relationship, which is not incumbent upon the doctored presentation of a jaw-drop­ ping second coming of Christ, nor is it decided through a nervous hour of chit-chat. Rather, the gumption behind such a student is assumed, placing full control and responsibil­ ity into the hands of the student once admitted. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being thorough. Ameri­ can universities are the best in the world because of nit-picking. How­ ever, instilling responsibility and being given a token of trust, as Mc­ Gill does, goes a lot further than tell­ ing an aspiring academic that life is

about a never-ending demonstration of perfection, a beauty pageant from which we cannot run. It is this kind of attitude which breads pressure and anxiety—and which prompted 20 Long Island students to pay others to take their SATs for them, effectively ending their academic credibility be­ fore it got off the ground. Despite what it looks like, this isn’t retribution for the smug inter­ viewer’s comments. Rather, this col­ umn should serve to remind us all of the unique power bestowed upon us by McGill, where we’re treated as masters of our own destiny. There is an unprecedented amount of ani­ mosity toward the administration right now; as well-placed as such criticism may be, let’s not allow it to subsume the bigger picture. Of all places, we’re lucky to be here.

ODDS AND ENDS

M illio n s p a r t ic ip a t e in s ix th a n n u a l E a r th H o u r Logging out, switching off, and speaking up to raise awareness for environmental sustainability Kyla Mandei

Managing Editor

I bet that if you gave me three guesses, I would be able to tell you what you did this past Saturday night. Eat? Drink? Turned your lights off for an hour for Earth Hour? I’m sure all of you were dedicated envi­ ronmentalists, and made sure that no matter where you were, you turned the lights out, lit some candles, and contemplated issues such as melting glaciers and carbon emissions. But if that wasn’t the way you spent your Saturday night, you prob­ ably checked Facebook or Twitter at least once. So, let me tell you a little bit about what happened that evening, and what social media has to do with it. Saturday, March 31 at 8:30 p.m. was the sixth annual Earth Hour, which saw 150 countries and a staggering 6,494 towns and cit­ ies come together around the globe to embrace the darkness and raise awareness about climate change. Starting in 2007, Earth Hour was organized by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) in Sydney, Australia when 2.2 million individuals and 2,100 businesses participated in the hour of action. The following year, Toronto was the next city to join in the action, and shortly after an ad­ ditional 35 countries and roughly 400 cities decided to tag along. Each year more and more cities and people have joined the global Earth

Cross on Mount Royal, CN Tower among Canadian landmarks turned off for Earth Hour 2012. (ikedaspa.com, wikia.com)

Hour event. Scheduling it for the last Satur­ day of every March allows the event to occur around the equinox, mean­ ing that as the hour ticks closer, it will be dark in most cities, making the blackout an effective statement. In addition, world-renowned land­ marks such as the Sydney Opera House and the Eiffel Tower turn off their lights for a dramatic change of pace. Some notable additions this year included the International Space Station and the UN Secretary

General’s office, according to Earth Hour website. 511 cities participated across Canada this year and landmarks such as the CN Tower, Niagara Falls, and Montreal’s Cross on Mount Royal all shut off their lights for the hour. “Many of these iconic build­ ings, monuments, and places are lit up at night. People look to them as sources of identity, as touchstones of belonging and meaning. Turning lights off on Angkor, the Acropolis, or the Sydney Opera House among

others is a strong symbol. A symbol to help us see the world differently,” UNESCO Director-General Irina Bokova said. Across Asia, records have been broken and social media has helped play a crucial role in increased par­ ticipation. Not only did ‘Happy Earth Hour’ become the world’s number one trend on Twitter by the time Southeast Asia turned off the lights, but in India an MTV Un­ plugged concert held in New Delhi was powered with alternative energy

and owed its massive turnout to so­ cial media networks. In China, hun­ dreds of university students gathered at the Great Wall of China to show their support for the environment, and according to the Twitter account of the U .S. Embassy in Seoul, 74,502 buildings in South Korea turned off their lights for Earth Hour. “Social media is not just con­ necting the world but is becom­ ing the primary organizing tool for citizens to take action. People from over 150 countries across the globe are harnessing the power of online platforms to physically care for the future of the planet,” Earth Hour Co-Founder and Executive Director Andy Ridley said in a press release on April 1,2012. So, while some argue that turn­ ing off the lights doesn’t do anything substantial to fight climate change, the point isn’t just to reduce car­ bon emissions during that one hour. The global effort to band together and visually display commitment is a symbolic action, demonstrating that the world must act if it wants to preserve the environment for future generations. “Turning off our lights is a symbol of our commitment to sus­ tainable energy for all,” said UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon in a recorded public message. “We need to fuel our future with clean, efficient, and affordable energy. By acting together today, we can power a brighter tomorrow.”

TOP TEN

R e a s o n s w h y y o u s h o u ld s t u d y o u t s id e t h is s p rin g All the excuses you need to skip the library and get some fresh air while you work Jacqui Galbraith

Features Editor

1. Sunlight is a proven mood enhancer. When you’re getting large doses of sunshine, your body cre­ ates vitamin D, which helps prevent osteoporosis, some forms of cancer, and depression, among other things. After months of winter cold and gloom, the sheer contrast of a warm, sunny day might be all that’s needed to cheer you up. 2. Fresh air helps improve focus and concentration. Campus libraries can get incredibly stuffy when the temperature soars outside, leaving you overheated and drowsy. Even if it’s a humid day outside, an occasional breeze will come along and perk you back up should you find yourself sliding into a heat in­ duced stupor.

3. Studying outdoors is more social. It’s way easier to get together a group of friends to head down to lower field with some books than it is to round up a library contingent. Once you get to the library, it can be difficult to study as a group, given the atmosphere. 4. You can work on your base tan while you study. What better way to multi task than to soak up some rays while analyzing the phil­ osophical and moral implications of the meat industry? Throw on your favourite pair of shorts, grab your flip flops, sunscreen, and sunglasses, and give a classic beach day a pro­ ductive twist. 5. It’s more interesting to peo­ ple watch outside than in the library. In a library, everyone is so absorbed in their own work that they really aren’t doing anything interesting.

Outside, the scenery is ever-chang­ ing, as people constantly walk past, absorbed in a myriad of interesting conversations. So when you need a break from studying you can watch people throwing around a Frisbee, or sitting down to eat. No matter what little distraction you prefer, it’s a much more dynamic environment than the library. 6. You can eat outside; you can’t eat in the library. All that study­ ing is bound to work up an appetite, which in the library means you’re out of luck. Unless you have supe­ rior food sneaking skills, or you're willing to take a break from study­ ing, working outside is your best bet. You can munch on fruit or a granola bar while still working through your readings, therefore maximizing ef­ ficiency. Who doesn’t love a picnic? 7. You don’t feel as over­

whelmed by your work because you keep your perspective when you study outside. It’s easier to take small breaks to keep your focus from completely giving out rather than suffering a bum out from work­ ing five straight hours in the library. There’s nothing better than taking a quick snooze in the sun! 8. Studying outside provides you with natural light. Studies have shown that natural light is bet­ ter to read by than artificial light, and results in fewer headaches. We all know that gross feeling when you’ve been staring at the same computer screen for hours, and think that you couldn’t possibly read any more. Studying outside gives you all the light you need, and keeps your attention from fizzling too quickly. 9. You can sit or lie in more po­ sitions outside than you can in the

library or at a desk (unless you’re a bed studier). All you need is a sim­ ple blanket and a tree to lean against, and you have a whole new world of possibilities. You want to lie on your stomach? No problem. Or on your back and balance your books on your knees? Go ahead. After all, cre­ ative sitting positions equal creative essay ideas. You can’t argue with that logic. 10. You don’t have to fight for space outside as much as you do in a library. There is more of the out­ doors to go around than there are desks in a library. Sure, everyone else might want to study outside too, but there are plenty of great spots all around campus and downtown to set up shop. You could try Forbes field, the Redpath museum steps, or the patio space at the Second Cup on Parc, just to name a few.

L'Autoroute 720

Chronicle Published by the Mov Squad Volume No. 1 Issue No. 1

T u e s d a y , A p r il 3 ,2 0 1 2

HOW NOT TO PUT OUT AFIRE (PAGE 1 3 )

B R E A K IN G N EW S: L e e k s s u rfa c e w ith M cG ill S p rin g

Disclaimer: Leeks and vegetables do not support any political ideologies. The editors of this (fake) newspaper liked the colour contrast. (Count Reynolds / L'Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

NEWS

U1 s tu d e n t e p ip h a n y Philosophy student understands the world Baron von Knadle

Kopie Edetur

Garth Ray, a U1 philosophy student, has recently acquired In­ ternet attention for his controversial claim that he understands the world, and knows how to fix its problems. Ray says a Tumblr post that de­ scribes “only the tip of the pifiata” of his revolutionary theory has been reblogged over 25 times. “That’s more than any other original con­ tent on my Tumblr,” said Ray of his website, which features Instagram pictures and grocery lists in addition to posts discussing philosophy. The student described his the­ ory as a “new type of -ology, some­ where between eschatology and epistemology and probably ontol­ ogy too.” Ray said he is considering dropping out of McGill’s philoso­ phy program because it is moving too slowly to keep up with his new­ ly-developed theories. “The lectures weren’t updated to include the personal model of re­ ality I developed,” Ray said. “That’s a real indicator of McGill’s so-called

quality.” The student expressed no con­ cern over the future course of his education in the event of his leaving McGill. However, Ray did express some concern that his theories may be too advanced for the world to un­ derstand. “I realized that after I got a C on my last philosophy paper,” Ray said. “It’s obvious that the professor, who’s supposedly highly educated, and who 1 won’t name out of peer respect, just didn’t get where I was coming from. I’m too intersection­ al.” Ray is dismissive of the nega­ tive feedback he’s received in the form of comments on his blog in addition to his poor grades. He said the negative attitude is a defensive tactic generated out of fear, and it’s a downside that all the great minds of history have had to contend with. He suggested that people read up thoroughly on Wikipedia and Timecube.com in order to prepare to live in an intellectual world domi­ nated by his “groundbreaking meta­ physics.”

DJ Joël not in da hausse! (Count Reynolds / l'Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

Somebody needs an iPad. (Count Reynolds / l'Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

INTERVIEW

P rin c ip a l X Y Z o c c u p ie s l'A u to ro u te 7 20 C h ro n ic le o ffic e Knits scarf in exchange for stolen pantsuits Your Editor-in-Chief

Supreme Leader

Upon inspection of her on-cam­ pus walk-in closet, following the sixth-floor occupation of the Com­ munity Square Building, Principal XYZ noticed that eight of her de­ signer pantsuits were missing. XYZ retaliated by occupying the offices of this (fake) newspaper, located at the underpass of l’Àutoroute 720 near Chemin Glen. The principal arrived unan­ nounced, physically assaulting the garbage can/security guard of the of­ fices. The garbage can was unavail­

able for comment. According to the single L720C staff member present at the underpass, the principal de­ manded the return of her pantsuits. She offered a hand-knit scarf in re­ turn. “I don’t understand why she came here,” said the staff member, who wished to remain anonymous. “Our newspaper didn’t even exist during the occupation. We’re being unfairly targeted.” He added that while he wouldn’t mind being banned from campus, such a ban would negatively affect samosa sales. He did, however, sympathize

with XYZ’s predicament, and then offered her some fresh samosas. XYZ declined, and sat on the pave­ ment. After repeatedly expressing that he had no ability to return the pantsuits he didn’t have, XYZ said she would mobilize other senior ad­ ministrators to sit on the pavement, too. Tension arose when the princi­ pal realized that the underpass was a mobile phone deadzone. When the internet on the her Blackberry failed to load, she protested that her right to Internet had been violated. “The Internet is a human right!” she exclaimed.

When asked to prioritize her demands, XYZ didn’t have to think for long. “Free education is a human right, but I need my Armani for the board meetings. I need to show that I mean business. And that I have a great tailor.” “She’s a lot more reasonable than people realize, but she’s also kind of unreasonable in other ways,” the L720C staffer said. “And this scarf is awesome. I always won­ dered what she does all day. She’s totally an expert knitter.” Needing to get back to work, XYZ ceased occupying the under­

pass, although she was worried about the long-term implications of the theft. “If this keeps up, Hillary Rod­ ham Clinton (HRC) will have a huge edge on me in our rivalry for the Vogue cover,” she said as she flagged down a Green Campus shuttle, which does, indeed have wi­ fi. The L720C reporter then pro­ ceeded to fry some samosas.

R E N T -A -B O D Y G U A R D Now available, rent a 7 foot tall 300 pound man guaranteed to remove anyone obstructing your path to class.

NEW S

NEW S

Cup noodle h au sses cau se a stir

Prof upset o ver no chili p epper on RateM yProfs

Price increases leave students feeling soggy Duke von lain

L'Autoroute Master

Over three million students across Quebec are on strike against the recent increase in the price of cup noodles. The deliciously af­ fordable treats will increase in price from 82 cents a bowl to 84 cents a bowl next year. However, given Ot­ tawa’s recent decision to scrap the penny, prices will probably rise as high as 85 cents per bowl. The price increase was an­ nounced last October, shortly fol­ lowing a report released by research­ ers at La Universitaire de la Nourri­ ture sur la Club 737 (LUNC(h)). The report suggested that consuming cup noodles in bulk leads to many stu­ dents gaining weight. “Cup noodles are not very nu­ tritious, but because of their low price, many students eat them every day,” the report read. “Often this results in students becoming ridicu­ lously, absurdly fat.” In an effort to combat the incredible unhealthiness of cup noodles, many companies that pro­ duce cup noodles have opted for a healthier formula which extends the nutritional value of the treat to in­ clude vitamins A, and C, iron, and generally fewer carcinogens. Mak­ ing these modifications would place the industry under tighter budget­ ary restrictions. Many cup noodle

manufacturers are already billions of dollars in debt. “It’s really necessary for us to stop running billion dollar defi­ cits each year,” John Campbell’s, a spokesperson for Les Nouilles Sur La Coupe, a Québécois large cup noodle producing company said. “This new formula isn’t cheaper to manufacture either, so we have to account for those costs.” Many students across the prov­ ince are outraged at the increase in price though. “This is insane,” said Sam Dan, a McGill U8 theoretical yoga student said. “Food is a human right, and it should be free like all other human rights. The government should re­ ally regulate the cost of food in this province so that my parents can bud­ get accordingly.” Rallies in Montreal have turned violent recently, with over 60 stu­ dents arrested and charged for nutri­ tion-related crimes. “We were just trying to have a peas-ful protest when the police showed up,” said Jean Sandwich­ es, a CEGEP student at College Brebouef. “Then the police showed up and asked us if we wanted any fresh ground pepper spray.” Students insist they aren’t backing down on the issue, and their primary goal is to keep all food ac­ cessible. “We would really like cup noo­

dles to be free, and right at the front of the grocery store near the gum,” U3 Linguine-istics students Robert Frasier-LaPerrier said. “The U.S. gives free food away as foreign aid, so why can’t Canada give us free food?” The only students in the prov­ ince not striking are enrolled in McSlurpies’ College of Nutrition. “I think maybe we’re the only ones who realize how disgusting cup noodles really are,” Mike Berger, spokesperson for the Federation of Observants of Nutrition (FOOD) said. “They have less nutritional value than the chair you’re sitting on.” Students in other studies don’t always agree with Berger, and are happy to protest in opposition. “I eat whatever I can find re­ ally,” said Michael Appleseed, a PhD candidate in Financial Plan­ ning, said. “If it’s cup noodles, or three-week old Provigo lettuce, fine, I don’t care. It’s not really important what I eat, as long as it’s free.” There is no clear end in' sight for the strikes, with neither students nor cup noodle manufacturers back­ ing down. Like Adam Smith said, “We’re ready to do whatever it takes for the free lunch we’re entitled to,” App­ leseed said. “At least until hockey season starts up again.”

Duke von lain

L'Autoroute Master

McGill professor Jean Smith is questioning the legitimacy of the popular website RateMyProfessors.com after discovering that he doesn’t have a chili pepper rating on the website, which indicates percieved "hotness.” “I do my best to come to class everyday in my finest sweater vest,” he said. “Even in the middle of win­ ter I was routinely underdressing to try and look hot for my students.” Smith teaches Introduction to Theoretical Fundamentals of Philo­ sophical Stuff, PHIL 455, and has been a full professor at McGill for five years. He says that he spends at least as much effort on looking good each day as he does on preparing for the lectures themselves. “You have these stoners walk­ ing in to class everyday in baggy jeans, a T-shirt full of holes, and hair that hasn’t been washed since MUNACA went on strike, and they’re telling me that I’m the one who looks bad?” he said. Smith, an admirer of Rick Santorum’s style, owns 54 sweater vests, and has not once worn jeans to class. One of Smith’s students, who wished to remain anonymous, com­ mented on Smith’s appearance.

“Look, the chili pepper is re­ ally reserved for hot—no, smoking hot profs,” she said. “You have to be careful when you’re giving out the chili pepper, because it can really go to a prof’s head.” The student pointed to the case of Professor Leud Kauntakt, a Russian-born history professor who obtained chili pepper status after her first semester at McGill. “She showed up at McGill looking ... hot, I’ll say it,” the stu­ dent said. “But once she got that chilli pepper, she started wearing sweatpants to class. She looked worse than a hungover New Rez kid.” The student said Smith simply didn’t earn the chili pepper rating, in her mind. “I see the chili pepper and I ask myself, would I pick him up at Korova?” she said. “I admire Smith’s intellect, but those sweater vests have to go.” Smith said he hopes to revamp his look and try again next year. “Maybe I’ll get some of those hipster glasses without the lenses and a new haircut,” he said. “I think some skinny jeans could really pull everything together. Or a scarf. Yeah, that’d be hot.”

NEW S

N U M A K A w o r k e r s w e p t a w a y in F le u v e M cT a v ish Returns to find strike, but the wrong one Le Duc de Beri

Truth Editor

A NUMAKA worker swept away by the McTavish Flood in early September has resurfaced months later to find campus in a radically (no pun intended) different state of political turmoil. Robert Gelinas, a support worker in Information Technology Services, was picketing at the Mc­ Tavish entrance to campus on the bright morning of Sept. 9 when 500 gallons of water from a watermain leak (see “Concrete rain a growing problem in Montreal”) sent him flying, or, um, flowing, all the way across town. At the time, some strik­ ers suggested that the popular pick­ eting spot was targeted. Little is known about Gelinas’ wherabouts in the time since he was swept away. There were reported

sightings of him, soaking wet, stain­ ing the leather couch in Mikael De Rippa’s office in late December. McGill’s SWAT team was allegedly called. Upon his arrival back on cam­ pus just last week, Gelinas noted being utterly perplexed by the change in picketing. ‘The buttons have been re­ placed by these odd red pieces of felt,” he said. “And where are my fellow strikers?” I explained that the picketers were students striking for lower tu­ ition. “Is this some sort of joke?” he asked. “We were on strike for our livelihoods and our futures.” The cycle of heated rhetoric in public emails, people banned from campus, (see, “What the *bleep* is an injunction and other useless words I learned from the NUMAKA

president”) bear an uncanny similar­ ity to events on campus in early fall 2011. At least NUMAKA didn’t try

to publicly censure their VR Then again, it’s not like they consulted with many of their members.

For most McGillians, it’s hard to imagine a time when some part of campus w asn't on strike.

TT

Tuesday, A p ril 3, 201 2 |

SO MUCH PROPAGANDA

| Our w ay or the highway.

IN T E R V IE W

E x c lu s iv e in t e r v ie w w ith M ov S q u a d fo u n d e r # discusses Mov Squad's mission, goals, and samosanization of campus Duke von lain

L'Autoroute Master

The TAutoroute 720 C hronicle sat dow n with the fo u n d er o f the M ov Squad—fo rm er ly known a s [RE­ DACTED], now op era tin g under the p seu d on ym #, to talk about the sq u a d ’s form ation , m ission, and view s on differen t cam pus issues. [E ditor’s n o te: # is a lso the C h ief F ounding E xecutive C ontent O fficer o f Inform ation, T echnology, F inance and O perations, and Sam osa Sales o f the TA utoroute 720 C hronicle.] MT: So, #, can you tell us a bit about the Mov Squad? #: We formed the Mov Squad to try and combat some of the other squads roaming around campus. You have the Mob Squad, now the Mod Squad (Editor’s note: the ModPAC), and there’s also the SSMU itself, which is just a glorified squad occupying the Shatner Building. Anyways, I formed the Mov Squad to combat these other squads. Our mission is really to mobilize in soli­ darity with different causes. That mission is really tough to achieve though, because when you’re stand­ ing you can’t possibly be mobile. It’s really a bacon or sausage kind of deal, so we have to strike a balance between mobilizing and standing in solidarity, which is sort of a very slow crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon walk. We’re also very engaged in a new movement known as ‘solitairity,’ which is where fellow squadders

play solitaire in support of a cause. MT: Can you explain your political stances a bit? #: We’re generally against a lot of things. Some people describe a political spectrum from left to centre to right. Others even say there are two dimensions, like social liberals with fiscal conservative beliefs. We find this simplification pretty dis­ gusting. We like to think of a politi­ cal hyperspace in four dimensions. Our political stance is then very far away from liberalism, conservatism, Marxism, or any other isms. To use an analogy, consider politics to be like answering a multiple choice exam. Liberals answer these ques­ tions one way, and conservatives answer them the other. We wipe our a** with the paper and hand it in like that. MT: Can you comment on some specific stances you take? #: We’re very much in favour of corporations. We very very very v ery strongly dislike any person who is not a member of the squad. I don’t like to use the word hate because that has certain connotations, but it’s a good word for what we feel. But it’s not what we feel, just to be clear. We’re really against these tu­ ition increases, but we’re also very much against tuition decreasing. I know I’ve been budgeting to get a Wii for years, and if they change the tuition next year I’m going to be in a spot where I don’t know if I can

# spells out his name while sporting the Mov Squad's symbollic blue triangle. (Count Reynolds / l'Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

afford it, or if I can, I might have to choose between getting an extra WiiMote, or Wii Fitness, and that’s very distressing to me. Another one of the big, but largely ignored issues is the samos­ anization of campus. Clubs or orga­ nizations have samosa sales, but they don’t consult anyone beforehand. We recommend a minimum of 80 consultative forums and general as­ semblies in advance of any samosa sale to figure out logistics like where it will be held, what day it will be, and how many samosas there will be. Many clubs don’t do this though, so we run an underground e-mail

list to share when samosa sales are going down, so other Mov Squad­ ders can gorge themselves on the deliciously dangerous treats. Ide­ ally we’ll catch these sales and clean them out before anyone else even knows they’re happening. MT: You mentioned the other squads roaming around campus. How do you guys distinguish yourselves from these ‘political imposters’? #: That’s definitely a point of contention. Everyone has their own cause these days. You have the green buttons for NUMAKA,

the red squares—those are against showering, right? Then there are the people with the white squares which I think means they live in New Rez, but it might be Carrefour. Our thing is we like to decorate ourselves with Christmas ornaments. Usually 20 or 30 will suffice, but it should be enough that you’re easily recog­ nizable by fellow squadders. This subtle signal helps us identify each other when we’re doing undercover work at a strategic summit or in­ vestigating samosa sale potential in Shatner.

HEALTH

S tu d e n ts re p o rt su d d e n c o lo r-b lin d n e s s a ft e r m o b iliz a tio n Colours and shapes confuse and disorient students The Princess of Mandel

Minion #1

This past week the McGill health clinic saw unprecedented line ups as confused students reported cases of sudden colour-blindness. “I was just so confused when I attended the AUS GA suddenly all the red felt squares turned white,” Julie Stevens, U4 art history student, said. At first Stevens tried to ignore it, but as the days continued, the problem didn’t go away. “My condi­ tion got worse, especially on March 22 when I stopped seeing the squares altogether,” Stevens explained. Coincidentally, March 22 saw an influx of students reporting the same sudden colour-blindness as

Stevens. McGill security was called to the scene due to rumours of a po­ tential health clinic occupation. Reported symptoms included only seeing white squares, and not seeing the squares at all. More se­ vere cases reported constant ringing in their ears. “All I could hear was a constant high-pitch hausse ringing sound,” Kyle Johnson, an anglophone U0 student, said. “I freaked out because I couldn't hear my prof over this constant ‘hausse’ nonsense.” An email sent out to the McGill community warned students not to look directly at the red squares. “While we support students in their endeavors to look at whichever shaped objects they so desire, it has recently come to our attention that

some shapes may be detrimental to good order and we ask you to look with caution when you see felt in the shape of squares,” the email read. “I’ve never seen a case like this in my whole career, let alone mul­ tiple cases,” Nancy McHeely, Mc­ Gill health clinic worker and lead­ ing pseudo-kinetic-anomaly expert, said. “The combination of auditory and visual symptoms could occur when a person’s sensory system hais been constantly and repeatedly in­ undated with the same experience, which in this case appears to be red felt squares.” The body’s system physically rejects the image of the red square due to the sudden overwhelming fre­ quencies with which they appeared on campus, McHeely explained.

McHeely hypothesized that see­ ing white was the initial symptom, and as the red squares continued to persist, the next stage of the yet-tobe-named condition was full visual rejection of the red square. “I’m not sure what the ringing in the ears means, but I fear it can’t be good. Those students who suffer from the ringing have also been seen dedicatedly attending class and fully sequestered in the library regardless of the affliction. I worry they’ll suf­ fer vitamin D deficiency along with retina-strain as they never step into daylight anymore.” Alternately, students wearing the red squares never enter the class­ room and receive plenty of vitamin D. “I’m not worried about their health, they’ve been seen enjoying

What color is this square?

the outdoors, going for walks hours on end, as well as exercising their vocal chords in group sing-a-longs. They’re the vibrant youth of tomor­ row,” McHeely said.

Protestor fires up his arsenal

Unicorns are real!

fÊÊU SBÊÊ^

Mining for gold to finance tuition hikes

MFfffwwwwaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhllllllllll "

McGill's

CONSULTATION PROCESS

Do you want to consult the McGill community on an issue?

How could you have nothing to discuss in such pressing, controversial times?

^ ,

Congratulations, you are the 99 per cent. Do you have a location decided?

Have you consult­ ed people on the choice of location?

Can you reserve this location?

Is this because ail the locations are currently occupied? Consult on location choice.

You are banned from campus for lack of jjolitical participation.

Have you not heard of Community Square? Do you even attend McGill?

Do you think more radical action needs to be taken?

I don't believe you.

Occupy a building. Do you want to leave the library and actually learn about campus issues?

Do you think more radical action needs to be taken?

Are you afraid of leaving the safe space of campus?

Do you want to start, an anonymous web­ site exposing the is­ sues? Do you have an apprr? priate pseudonym?

Do you want to hold a consultative discussion to decide your pseudonym?

Hold your discus­ sion. Were you satisfied with the result?

Be outraged about the lack of student space. Do you want to hold an open forum on this?

Keep attending class, graduate on time, but remain uniformed and jdisgruntled about the Iissues on campus.

™ Do you want to go on strike?

1»,

Return to daily life knowing you will never be famous within the McGill bubble.

CAM PUS

M ontreal's hippest new nightclub ENGL 001 the most exclusive event in town, bouncers cite mandate to keep students out Duke von lain

L’Autoroute Master

When Montreal's newest nightclub opened last Tuesday, few could have guessed just how short the guestlist would be for the grand opening. The bouncers reportedly let in zero people over the course of the day, citing a mandate to keep out all who tried to enter. The club, ENGL 001, was opened by club promoter DESA, and runs out of a room in the Arts Building. ENGL 001 is open for a mere hour and a half on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The club caters to a younger crowd, but there were a few older faces trying to get in last week. The tightly-run door of the club is controlled by two rather unintimi­ dating bouncers. Both are required to wear skinny jeans and red squares

at all times, and are instructed by DESA to not let anyone in. The bouncers are also encouraged to wear scarves if it’s chilly outside, as leather jackets and Canada Goose products are prohibited. “We have a [one-strike and you’re out] mandate from DESA,” said one of the bouncers. “We’re not allowing anyone in.” When asked if they had ever been in the club, both bouncers said they hadn’t. “I usually don't get up this early,” said one. “But when they of­ fered me the chance to keep others from going too, I jumped at the op­ portunity.” As no one has yet to enter the club, rumors abound as to what ex­ actly is inside. From an entire ice palace, to a full-scale beach, com­ plete with sand, to a simple room

Hey baby, would you let me Leningrad that behind?

with chairs and desks, suggestions run wild. “I'm sure it’s amazing,” said one hopeful attendee. “I mean, it’s gotta be if these skinny hipsters are trying to keep me out. I’m gonna get in one day.” For now, the inside is left to speculation, as visitors are repeat­ edly turned away. “I guess I’ll just go sit outside or something,” said one discouraged young woman. “I’m probably gonna hit up Subway,” said another. The organizer of the party crowd instructed everyone to meet outside to “discuss their feelings about being turned away, and other things too.” She added that they would try again next week.

You Kant be out already? She’s Stalin his heart

j And she’s Trotskying away with it

Sorry, but I’m feeling kind of II

I just hope those two will be happy. Love is in the Voltaire

Also I hope you get well’ soon. Try some hot food, like Nietzsches and cheese

T

L'Autoroute 720

C h ro n ic le WWW.MCGIUTRIBUNE.COM

Supreme Leader Your Editor-in-Chief Minions Princess of Mandel, Minion 1 Troubadour Taylor Minion 2 L’Autoroute Master Duke von Iain TYuth Editor Sir Richard Crumpet Le Duc de Beri Muscle Editor Kernel Colonel Colonello Nardello Surveillance Editor Count Reynolds Kopie Edetur Baron von Knadle

D isclaim er T he tex t o f this fictional new spaper represents no one, and w as designed for purely satirical purposes. A ny conn ection betw een real persons and events and articles in these pages are satirical and does not seek to negate serious ca uses. F or a real new spaper, see pages 1-8 and 17-24 o f the T ribune.

We ran out of content...

THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS Destroying the penny: it just made cents On March 29, the Conservative federal government released its bud­ get for the 2012-2013 year, which included many austerity measures in order to reduce Canada’s enormous fiscal deficit. Though many of those measures elicited strong reactions from Canadians, none created even a quarter of a shockwave as grand as the one from the announcement that the penny is bound to disappear. The government cited several reasons for the elimination of the 136-year-old coin. First of all, every penny created costs the government 1.6 cents, so removing the penny from circulation will save the gov­ ernment up to $150 million annu­ ally. Considering that the penny was creating a deficit for the Canadian Mint, the government decided to unfreeze the value of the penny and adjust its worth. “The measure is intended to ad­ just the value of the penny to what it was worth in 1968,” explained an anonymous source within govern­ ment. “In this case, the penny was worth utterly nothing in 1968 be­ cause it’s a stupid coin.” Secondly, the government ad­ mitted that eliminating the penny was a key first step in eventually re­ moving an even greater ill in circula­ tion in Canada: Nickelback. The Al­ bertan rock band is often described as “a band so bad that only a Loony

The Crumpeteer's Manifesto

People expecting this article to be a whimsical and flippant one could not be more wrong; a crumpeteer does not conform to the petty confines of a “joke issue.” Rather, this article has a serious issue to bring to light. A grave and fearful symptom of societal malaise has come to my attention; one which I, as a radical crumpeteer, must do my best to treat by any means nec­ essary. The problem is simple and grave: many Canadians do not know their.crumpets from their scones! For far too long I lived in denial

EtMKï® M

OflB

msrafla

could like them,” and ever since its inception in 1995, the government has been reducing the numbers of nickels in circulation, praying that the band would get the message. Finally, the government , an­ nounced that after retrieving all Canadian pennies, the Mint will melt them and create the first ever “penny suit” which they will give to Don Cherry as a retirement gift. Whether the suit will be given once Cherry announces his retirement, or given to him in order to force him to retire after being crushed by the 1.5 tonne suit was not clear, though many would argue that Cherry’s

thoughts aren’t even worth a penny at this point. Following the announcement, nearly all Canadians felt the need to express their two cents thoughts on the matter. Though the move has music fans across the world cheer­ ing for more, others feel betrayed by their government. “I feel like to those who voted for change, the government is officially replying: ‘screw you, we’re taking it away,”’ a radical student from McGill Uni­ versity claimed. “A proper Marxist government would never do that to its people.” The austerity measure was met

about this. I always knew something was deeply wrong; I knew there was ignorance, intolerance, and injus­ tice—and yet I did nothing. I kidded myself into believing there was little that one man could do to bring about the Crumpet Revolution. I doubted that I could achieve anything against supermarkets dominated by cohorts of bagels and pita breads, against a society intent on forgetting the vi­ sions of a crumpet utopia. Everything changed last Hal­ loween. I was dressed impeccably, but no one had the foggiest idea of what my costume was. Soon I lost my temper. I had spent a lot of time and effort creating my costume and people still could not figure out that I was, quite clearly, dressed as a “slutty crumpet.” Even when in­ formed of what my costume was, they proceeded to make horrendous­ ly scandalous remarks, with one girl suggesting that I should have brought whipped cream. I bellowed back at her that she was thinking of

scones, and that scones were bet­ ter with clotted cream anyway, not whipped cream. I went into a fren­ zy—hurling the DJ off his decks, killing the music with a sharp rip, declaring ferociously to all before me that whipped cream on a crum­ pet is about as downright barbaric as maple syrup on a hotdog. It had begun: I had found my calling as a radical crumpeteer. Any person lucky enough to have given their taste buds the hon­ our and the privilege of a few tender moments of contact with a morcel of crumpet—that heavenly manna in earthly form—will say, with more jurisprudence than a supreme court judge, that a crumpeteer’s profes­ sion is a noble vocation. It is quite obvious that there is a conspiracy of English-muffinists, neo-croissantites, and sliced-breadians intent on keeping crumpets down. Crumpets are always stuffed on the bottom of the back shelves, oppressed by the baguettes, persecuted by the dan-

with much opposition in many CEGEPs in Quebec, such as UQAM and Vieux-Montreal. Upon hear­ ing about the fate of the penny, the schools’ student bodies decided to fill a room with the closest red-clad students they could find, and imme­ diately voted to go on unlimited stu­ dent strike. “[Lots of French words, probably speaking about how unfair life is and how the government de­ stroys lives,]” explained an UQAM representative. “We want our gradu­ ates to continue receiving tips at the coffee shops they work at, and pennies are an integral part of those tips.” Considering these arguments, and the fact that we want McGill to stay as far away as possible from UQAM, the Chronicle believes that to keep the penny in circulation would be utterly cents-less. Apart from the fact that minting the penny leaves the government $11 million poorer every year, nobody actually likes having pennies in their pock­ ets. Nobody likes having pennies in a jar either, and a penny for your thoughts is too cheap when you con­ sider what we McGill students go through to obtain a McGill diploma. So, Mr. Harper, the Tribune lauds you for your efforts to destroy the penny in order to save the Canadian economy. You are a dime a dozen.

ishes. That is the real cause of our ignorance to the capricious wonders of the crumpet. We must unite to crush this conspiracy, we must boycott ba­ guettes and even waffles, we must seek out crumpets from their dark comers and buy them. There is no excuse for any of us not to. They are tax-free, delicious, and cheap; they take only a few minutes to make; they are vegan friendly (without the butter, of course), and they can come in gluten-free variety. They re­ ally are perfect. If Brad Pitt asked a girl who had tasted a cmmpet if she would like to go back to his place “for a cmmpet or two,” she would be more excited about the crumpets than anything else. [Full d isclo su re: the author is the m anipulative CEO o f the co n ­ spiratorial international co rp o ra ­ tion, CP (Crum P etroleum )]

AMUSEMENT

The Grand Coverup of Canadian C ricket Investigative journalist unveils plot for world domination in time for tea Sir Richard Crumpet

Truth Editor

The mention of Namibia does not seem to be generating the in­ tense excitement I expected. When I ask Canadians whether they are looking forward to Canada Cricket’s international tour to Namibia this week, I am not getting a euphoric fist-pump of a yes in reply; instead, they tend to look puzzled and shake their heads, often confiding that they did not know Canada had a cricket team, and occasionally pointing out that they did not actually know where Namibia is. I concluded that most Canadians did not care about the valiant exploits of their cricket team, let alone what cricket even is. What a damn shame. Yet one friend I asked did not conform to this rule. He responded that he was very excited for Na­ mibia. But then a strange thing hap­ pened: he caught himself like an actor delivering the wrong line of a script, and he attempted, with eyes shifting from side to side and with his face reddening, to say that he did

not know anything about Namibia. Two men in suits and dark glasses came out of nowhere, and hurried over to where we were sitting. They claimed to be the uncles of my friend and quickly escorted him away. I smelled a rat. The investiga­ tive journalist in me knew exactly what was going on here—a national cover up of Canadian cricket, And the investigative journalist in me would not stop until I had discov­ ered why. Trawling through the Canadian National Archives, I found some ev­ idence which only added to the mys­ tery of cricket’s low profile in Can­ ada: first, Canada actually played the world’s first international cricket match in 1844, began over 30 years before the Ashes, the now-famous Test Cricket matchup between Eng­ land and Australia; second, in 1867 cricket was named as the national sport of Canada by prime minister John A. Macdonald; third, Canada actually beat Australia, one of the world’s best teams at the time, as recently as 1974. At this point, a sinister-looking archivist interrupted my research, warning that if I did

not leave right away, “there would be trouble.” Further research was hard to come by. I was trailed by men in suits, my apartment was searched, and my phone was tapped. Eventu­ ally I stumbled on the crucial in­ formation that put the jigsaw into place: Canada has won two cricket matches in World Cup history, one against Bangladesh in 2003, one against Kenya in 2011. However, the strange thing was, it almost seemed as if the other matches they played were close, but they underperformed. Suddenly it seemed ob­ vious—Canadian cricket is part of a conspiracy for world cup domina­ tion. They are deliberately cover­ ing up their cricketing credentials by underplaying, allowing Canada to take the world by storm over the next few years, catching each team in their complacency, and sending Canada on in a glorious and unstop­ pable waltz to a World Cup triumph in 2015. So be warned, world. Cricket Canada is planning global domi­ nance, and it will all begin in Na­ mibia.

Canadians have a secret love affair with cricket, (bp.blogspot.com)

[Full d isclo su re: the author is a fa ile d in vestiga tive jou rn alist, des-

p e r a t e fo r any so rt o f p u b licity]

INTRAMURAL BASKETBALL — WETNATION 48, CARTEL 34

W etNation pulls off the intram ural upset of the year Both sides' NBA hopes shattered Jonathan Rosenbluth

Intramural Enthusiast

Eight screaming fans were on hand for the biggest upset of the B-league intramural playoffs thus far as llth-seeded WetNation upset the sixth-seeded Cartel. The taps never ran dry on WetNation, as they were able to sustain their hot start throughout the game. Point guard Adam Taras had his best game of the season, and was the spark plug to start the game scoring 14 of his game-high 19 points in the first half. After the game, team captain Reuben Rothstein applauded Taras’ efforts. “He’s been dreaming about this for a long time. All the long hours he works on his jump shot and at the gym truly paid off.” For the Cartel, the loss was quite difficult to handle. Having beaten WetNation twice during the regular season, it seemed as though the Cartel were expecting to waltz their way to an easy win. Point guard, and captain, John Rotchtin acted with class even after the defeat.

“Looking up in the stands and seeing the three Cartel fans who came out to support us, I just had a nervous feeling in my gut. At the end of the day, we missed a major oppor­ tunity to make a run in the tourna­ ment, and even worse, we let down our fans.” WetNation shooting guard, Ste­ ven Lampert, wasn’t surprised with the result. “I knew we had it in us. We played our game and we came away with the victory. As my father once said to me, ‘never say never.’ I think we justified that saying tonight.” It was clear that the Cartel was the more athletic team, as Marshall Slipp and Ross Burst are the cata­ lysts for their fast break offence. However, they were unable to trans­ late that into steady points, and their normally high turnover defence did not create the transition opportuni­ ties they are used to seeing. With nearly six minutes left in the game, it seemed that the Cartel were finally making a push and nar­ rowed the lead to five points. Yet, repeated missed shots from in close doomed the Cartel to an early exit. Cartel fans were dejected as they left

Love Competition Hall, but were proud of their team nonetheless. Cartel superfan Jeremy Schipper summed up the emotions of the fans. “While we are definitely disap­ pointed right now, we are so proud of what our boys accomplished on and off the court. They are an inte­ gral part of the community and we know they will come back strong next year.” While WetNation’s Elite Eight matchup was scheduled for the next day, they did not hold back in their postgame celebrations. Several team members were seen quite intoxi­ cated at local clubs and bars. It was a joyous night for the squad, as, in classic WetNation style, the drinks were flowing. Players were signing autographs, taking pictures, and in­ teracting with fans throughout the night. Power forward Ari Newman commented on the atmosphere. “It felt like we had won it all. It was a great night for our team, the program, and our fans. It was great to celebrate with our followers and feed off their energy.” Alas, it seems like they may

WetNation could have used these kids against the Beer Hawks, (ning.com)

have celebrated a little too hard. WetNation came out flat the next day in their Elite Eight matchup against the Beer Hawks and lost by 20 points. Even though their season ended, the statement victory against

the Cartel will be one that the play­ ers, and this program, will always remember.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -

GADGETS

S tu d y g a d g e t s Tips, and tools to get you through exams lain Macdonald

Production Manager

With summer just around the comer, students are gearing up for one of the more stressful times of year—exams. While there’s noth­ ing that can make your final exams completely pain-free, these gadgets might help you cope with them. StayFocusd Studying was difficult before the age of distractions. Now, in the time of Internet and smartphones, it’s easier than ever to get side­ tracked. StayFocusd is a plugin for Google’s Chrome browser which lets you control how much time you spend on procrastination sites, from Facebook to Reddit and Tumblr. Simply install it and set your pref­ erences .There are similar plugins available for Firefox, such as Leechblock. Of course, all of these tools require you to have the self-restraint to refrain from simply opening up another browser, but sometimes a gentle reminder that you’ve already spent four hours on Facebook today is enough to get you through the first lecture for your final tomorrow. Alarm Clock XTreme Nothing is less fun than sleep­ ing through an exam. Fortunately, there are applications you can download for your smartphone that are sure to wake you up on time. Alarm Clock XTreme can be con­ figured to force you to solve a math problem, or ten, when you wake up.

If division isn’t your forte, you can also configure the app to only turn off after being shaken vigorously. Alarm Clock XTreme also lets you configure how many “snoozes” you can use, and how long each one lasts. Alarm Clock XTreme is only available for Android, and it seems that the math feature isn’t as widely available on iOS devices. The free version is supported by ads, or you can pay $2 for the ad-free version. Google Calendar Time management is key to successful studying. Whatever your calendar or to-do application of choice is, use it religiously to sched­ ule your study time, and keep track of when and where your exams are. Google Calendar supports multiple different calendars, many different colours, and features the ability to invite others to events you’re host­ ing (study party, anyone?). Google Calendar synchronizes to your Google account, so that it’s updated with you wherever you have an In­ ternet connection. Additionally, it sports a to-do list to keep track of all the lectures you need to catch up on. The application is free to use.

T h e T rib u n e is lo o k in g fo r an e d ito r fo r th e S c ie n c e & T e c h n o lo g y se c tio n fo r

2 0 12 -20 13 .

F o r m o re in fo rm a tio n c o n ta c t e d ito r@ m c g illtrib u n e .c o m Si____________________________________________________________________ J

SCREEN GEMS. ©2011 SCREENGEMS, INC. ALL RIGHTSRESERVED. DISTRIBUTED THROUGH SONY PICTURES RELEASING

Invites you to a special advance screening F o r y o u r c h a n c e to w in 1 o f 5 d o u b le p a s s e s , s e n d a n e m a il w ith th e s u b j e c t

THINK LIKE A M AN to

cpm@ssmu.mcgill.ca. O n ly w in n e r s w ill b e c o n t a c t e d b y e m a il.

Contest ends April 12, 2012 S c r e e n in g w ill ta k e p la c e at 7 : 3 0 p m o n W e d n e s d a y , A p r il 18 at th e S c o t ia B a n k T h e a tr e .

film is subject to classification

While it might be easy to get distracted while studying, try to refrain, for the sake of your GPA. Hopefully, with the help of these tools, you can spend more time studying, and less time getting ready to study.

In theatres April 20 w w w .t h in k lik e a m a n - m o v ie .c o m

MEO QY/IDEM Microsoft's UEFI is anti-competitive lain Macdonald

Production Manager

The difference between soft­ ware and hardware has long been somewhat blurry. Software is a vital part in any computer system, from supercomputers to smart phones, yet the software on a device can be largely independent from the hard­ ware. For now, consumers have the freedom to choose the software they would like to power their devices. That might be about to change, though. Almost all computers start up using a process which relies on the basic input/output system, or BIOS for short. The process involves a few steps. First, the processor must load

a special program from non-erasable memory. This program describes how to load another program from a special place on the computer’s hard disk. The processor then loads the program from the hard disk, which describes how to continue loading the operating system. The BIOS system generally works well. Users can install any op­ erating system on their computer by simply altering the program stored on the hard drive. But because the BIOS system is so simple, the boot process can be the target of mali­ cious programs. By modifying the contents of the boot program stored on the hard drive, viruses can load themselves before the operating starts, thereby gaining control of the operating system, while remaining invisible. This is a major security concern. To try and resolve this issue,

many vendors have agreed to phase out the BIOS system in favour of the Unified Extensible Firmware Inter­ face firmware-to-software boot pro­ cess, or UEFI for short. UEFI was developed years ago, and contains some impressive, though poten­ tially restrictive improvements over its predecessor. One of the biggest changes is UEFI’s secure boot fea­ ture. With secure boot, the processor checks the program it loads from the hard drive before executing the second-stage loader. If the program is different from expected, the com­ puter won’t start. This means that UEFI can be made to restrict which operating systems it will boot. UEFI secure boot is a great improvement in the security of the boot process, but at great cost to user freedom. Secure boot makes it more difficult for users to install other op­ erating systems and gives hardware

vendors unreasonable control over what software runs on the device. Microsoft is one company that plans to take advantage of this by restrict­ ing the boot process on tablet com­ puters they sell. Fortunately, they haven’t mentioned intentions to do this in the PC market. Microsoft’s use of UEFI secure boot is an anti-competitive means of bundling their software with hard­ ware. The company is familiar with piggybacking on near-monopolies. In 1998, Microsoft was sued and found in violation of antitrust laws for abusing their monopoly in the operating systems market to pro­ mote Internet Explorer. Apple has had a similar expe­ rience in being over-restrictive with its software. In 2010, U.S. courts declared Jailbreaking iPhones legal, in spite of Apple’s objections. Jail­ breaking refers to the process where

a user’s privilege level is increased. This allows users to install applica­ tions through sources other than the App Store. The ruling effectively said that it was unreasonable for Apple to control which applications could and could not be installed on an iPhone. When I buy a new computer or tablet, I want the freedom to run whatever software I like on my de­ vice. I’m not renting the device from anyone—it belongs to me, and as long as I’m not using it for anything illegal, what I do with it is entirely my decision. UEFI isn’t a bad idea; it’s a brilliant improvement in a long outdated system. However, there need to be checks in place to prevent unnecessary restrictions on the user. And, for now at least, regulation should keep hardware and software somewhat separate. —Iain M acdonald

FILM

M ich ael G la w o g g e r's W hores' G lo ry d e lv e s into th e a b y ss Austrian director's detailed study of sex workers in Thailand, Bangladesh, and Mexico Ilia Blinderman

Contributor

Michael Glawogger’s docu­ mentaries have long demonstrated his fascination with the dark and gritty. The Austrian filmmaker has focused on the struggles of the im­ poverished who are forced to eke out a living, first examining how the indigent survive in the world’s largest cities (M ega cities, 1998), be­ fore moving on to the study of the poorest, most desperate of manual labourers (W orkingman’s D eath, 2005). Completing this trilogy with W hores’ G lory, Glawogger opts for even greater circumstantial misery, and documents the practice of pros­ titution in Thailand, Bangladesh, and Mexico. Almost immediately, one is struck by the dissonance between the subject matter and the score. Glawogger shows us brothels and scantily dressed women in filthy, overcrowded landscapes. Songs by Cocorosie and PJ Harvey ac­ company these bleak urban scenes, brusquely snapping the viewer out of a reverie of instinctive sympa­ thy and revulsive disbelief, and into an amalgam of film noir grittiness mixed with the painfully strained sentimentality of a poor script. The audience is repeatedly reminded of this inconsistency throughout the Bangladeshi and Thai portions of the film, as if a sales tag were slapped onto the gravity of the situation. The portrayal of torment and anguish is

Whores' Glory was filmed on location and depicts life within actual brothels, (www.docgeeks.com)

not made any more poignant with the addition of a clever soundtrack, and the movie ends up hobbled by the score’s cheap Hollywood senti­ mentality. Much of W hores’ G lory also suffers from a lack of continuity.

Throughout the filming in Bangla­ desh and Thailand, one has a pal­ pable sense of being presented with a catalogue of life’s difficulties, dis­ guised as art for art’s sake. Although there is some merit to depicting the events as they appeared—without

any auxiliary judgment on the film­ maker’s part—I expect that Gla­ wogger, who gave four years to this movie, would have received some insights worthy of sharing in return. Had he employed them to guide the audience’s understanding, much of

the film would have felt far more cohesive. The final part of the docu­ mentary, shot in Mexico, somehow avoids these pitfalls. The score al­ most wholly disappears, with the music provided by a mariachi band that plays outside the large, low building housing the sex workers’ rooms. In addition, Glawogger lim­ its the number of women he speaks to, examining their lives in more depth. This alone makes Glawog­ ger’s project worthwhile. The great strength of W hores’ G lory, however, lies in the filming. At a recent Q&A, Glawogger ex­ plained that he spent many months in brothels in order to gain the trust of both the prostitutes and their regular “Johns.” Indeed, the film captures his subjects at a remarkable proximity. We not only see the array of human flesh through a panoramic pane of glass in an upmarket Bang­ kok brothel, where the customers make their selections, but we are also taken behind the glass, to hear the girls absentmindedly gossip as they wait for customers. In Bangla­ desh, the camera descends into the dizzying maze of prostitutes’ rooms, each one competing with the others for their daily keep; forcibly pulling their customers into their rooms, be­ rated by their madam, and collaps­ ing from exhaustion, all while under the weight of human poverty. Glawogger gives us a wretched, pitiful sight to see. Be prepared.

Pop lÿietoric Stop it, Madonna

Miami’s Ultra Music Festival is one of the biggest weekends on any electronic music fan’s calendar. The event brings together hundreds of the world’s most popular DJs and pro­ ducers for three days of the best live sets electronic music has to offer, from A-Trak to Zedd. This year, the festival was livestreamed over You­ Tube, and more than 20,000 people tuned in. It was a huge success, and its popularity demonstrates electron­ ic music’s growing appeal to a wider audience. It’s unfortunate, then, that a guest appearance by Madonna soured the experience for many. Swedish DJ Avicii announced before his Saturday night set that he had a surprise guest lined up. Short­

ly after 11 p.m., an introduction video started playing on the main stage. The short clip detailed the in­ spiring rise of electronic music, with familiar faces like Avicii, David Guetta, and Carl Cox discussing its exploding popularity in America. Then, Madonna took the stage and proceeded to undermine almost ev­ erything that had just been said. Madonna greeted the crowd, stating “I can honestly say a DJ saved my life.” She then asked “How many people in this crowd have seen Molly?” —an obvious ref­ erence to ecstasy. She was wearing a shirt with the letters MDNA—the name of her new album—spelled out across the chest, which can be inter­ preted as a thinly veiled reference to ecstasy’s clinical name, MDMA. Madonna hung out on stage while

Avicii played his remix of her new track, “Girl Gone Wild.” Then, as if she hadn’t disrespected everyone enough already, she left. It’s no secret that electronic music concerts are often incubators for drug use. However, it’s an image that many involved in the genre are trying to shed. As a fan, I don’t feel I need drugs to appreciate the music, and it’s upsetting to see people showing up to concerts with a bag full of pills but no idea what a 4/4 beat is. Drug usage at raves is a seri­ ous problem, and it should be treated as such by those who lead the genre. What’s especially disappoint­ ing about Madonna’s overt drug ref­ erences is that she is one of the artists who began building bridges between the underground house music com­ munities and the mainstream, in­

corporating electronic elements into many of her songs in the 1990s and 2000s. After having such a positive influence on the genre, she’s now using it as a marketing tool. What’s more, Madonna is a mother of three. I wonder if she would have acted the same way, urging people to buy her new album while making ambigu­ ous comments about drug use, if her kids were in the crowd. Canadian producer Deadmau5 picked up the ecstasy reference and blasted Madonna for it, calling her a “fucking idiot” via Twitter. The two settled their feud last week when Madonna tweeted a picture of herself wearing Mickey Mouse ears, with the text, “I was referring to the song called ‘Have You Seen Molly’ written by my friend Cedric Gervais.” Right, and I’d like you to

meet my friend Mary Jane who I just smoked on the race track. It’s painfully awkward watch­ ing Madonna attempt to rebrand her­ self to appeal to a younger audience. Her appearance at Ultra was clearly a marketing strategy, and a botched one at that. She needs to understand that while it’s possible to sta\ on top by continuously changing her image—something she has done in the past—she’s beginning to eem desperate. If a DJ really did save Madonna's life, she owes them all a lot more respect. —Iain M acdonald

VISU A L ART

P ré m ic e s /O p e n -E n d e d c le v e r b u t v a c a n t Manuel Mathieu's new exhibit opens at the MAI Ilia Blinderman

Contributor

Manueal Mathieu’s Prém ices/ O pen-E nded, the solo exhibit by the young Haitian-born Montreal resi­ dent, comprises some dozen paint­ ings dealing with the organic and mental reconstruction that follows a cataclysmic event. Mathieu’s paintings depict scenes of a world violently squeezed into primordial swirls of aggression, inchoate shapes and forces, some­ times in an extension of the old, sometimes in conflict with their an­ tecedents. This transmutation is not a step towards anything evil—from a frenzied clapperclawing creature, to what seems a somewhat lost hodgepodge of unformed will, pas­ sion, and nascent power. In one of the more memorable paintings, an anthropomorphic swirl of greens, reds, and blacks, with bared vice­ teeth, melts into a whirlpool of dark swathes. No surprise, from a man who has been compared to Francis Bacon.

Mathieu's paintings are challenging to decipher. (Manuel Mathieu)

In another, Mathieu cleverly plays with perspectives, depositing

a humanoid figure on a large plot of stark white, tilted below the perfunc­

tory desert backdrop of the painting. The shape seems to ooze unctuously down the canvas in a curious, and, perhaps unintentional manner. The majority of the paintings, however, neither galvanize one’s thoughts, nor spur emotions, nor help find any hint of truth. Despite my repeated attempts to engage with the pieces, I felt like I was approach­ ing glib prints, as evocative only as the confusion within first few mo­ ments of seeing them, before I fully grasped what I was staring at. The swirls and eddies of paint lie silently on the canvas, as paint is wont to do before it is given a voice through some artistic enterprise. This is all the more unfortunate since Mathieu seems to possess something worth saying. While I may be wrong, I suspect the devastation left by the recent Haitian earthquake is the source of his thick, resolutely ap­ plied brushstrokes. Without the exhibition’s oblig­ atory description, distributed to the public in a pamphlet upon entry, it is difficult to orient oneself enough to

get much from the paintings. Thank­ fully, the show focuses on the de­ scription to a lesser degree than what has become the norm. The practice of describing the artist’s litany of in­ tentions and thoughts subsumed by the creative process is now ubiqui­ tous, and robs the gallery attendee of a singular pleasure. It is through this pleasure, which we acquire through visually tasting and digesting the work offered, that we achieve some manner of understanding and cama­ raderie with the artist. In reading a formulaic description, we are re­ warded with a vacuum-sealed, ersatz satiety in regards to the piece, forgo­ ing the necessary mental labour. I am curious to see Mathieu progress over the next few years. In the meantime though, give me Bacon. Prémices/Open-Ended runs fro m May 5 (T uesday—Saturday, 12-6 p.m .) at the MAI (3680 Rue Jeanne-M ance, L ocal 103)

FILM

W ill F e r r e ll m a k e s h is re tu rn e n e s p a h o l Actor takes on Gael Garcia Bernal's drug lord in telenovela spoof, Casa de M i Padre Vanessa Salvo

Contributor

If the idea of Will Ferrell in a Spanish movie isn’t enough to pique one’s curiosity, how about an 84-minute spoof of Mexican drug cartels, soap operas, and foreign drama, all while breaking down the fourth wall between actor and audi­ ence? Casa d e Mi P adre is a film about dim-witted rancher Armando (Ferrell) and his brother Raul (Diego Luna), who is clearly their father’s favourite son. When Raul comes home to present his fiancé, Sonia (Génesis Rodriguez), Armando soon finds out that Raul is a drug dealer who is involved in a major territorial dispute with a Mexican drug gang, headed by the powerful drug lord Onza (Gael Garcia Bernal). The film opens up with a vi­ vacious musical sequence featur­ ing songstress Christina Aguilera, singing the film’s title song over the opening credits. The camera’s con­ stant zooming in on her lips draws a clear connection with cult classic The Rocky H orror P ictu re Show, in which its opening credits famously

scroll over a pair of alluring lips sing­ ing the opening song. The film im­ mediately begins by teasing the por­ trayal of Mexicans in popular culture with a scene in which Armando and his buddies ride their horses through wasteland, having what seems to be a very normal, dry conversa­ tion. And although English speakers would dismiss this conversation as small talk, the subtitles illuminate a discussion on how Armando isn’t as obsessed with women as he is with cattle. Were it not for the subtitles, one’s inability to understand the language might cause the viewer to take these conversations as flat and trivial, but they’re actually the same hilarious and absurd discussions that are classic elements of Will Ferrell films. The story feeds the audience with an exaggerated screenwriting style and the occasionally incompre­ hensible sentences that one comes to expect in Ferrell’s work, much like Ron Burgundy’s description of San Diego in A nchorm an. A unique aspect of this film is its awareness of the audience, most notably during a fight scene de­ picted entirely with a stuffed white tiger fighting a real coyote. Before the fighting ensues, the film cuts to

a note written to the audience by the second camera assistant, who apolo­ gizes for cutting the scene for a vari­ ety of hilarious reasons. In terms of performances, Luna and Bernal set aside their dramatic acting experience, playing comedic roles with just the right amount of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm that is nec­ essary for their outlandish roles. As one of the few gringos in the film.

Will Ferrell’s Spanish pronunciation is fantastic. The writers understand the cen­ tral purpose of the film: using Span­ ish-speaking actors to communicate various stereotypes to its Englishspeaking audience. The result is a unique and inventive comedy, but one might wonder what reaction Mexican audiences will have when the film opens there.

In the end, having an Englishspeaking audience pay to see a comedy that’s completely filmed in Spanish might seem slightly abnor­ mal, but Will Ferrell demonstrates yet again that, if anybody is capable of making oddball concepts work, he possesses the comedic knack to make magic like this happen.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

ARTS & ENT

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You have one last chance to write for A&E before the end of the year! Submit your ideas to arts@mcgilltribune.com

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H&R Block offers special student pricing. I take advantage of it every year. Best of all, they get students like me an average refund of $1,000.* STU D EN T T A X PREP

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Nicki M inaj: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded Though her 2010 debut Pink F riday was a ham-handed combi­ nation of rap lyrics mixed with pop hooks, Nicki Minaj’s latest release, Pink F riday: Roman R eloaded, is a more expansive look into her scatterbrained imagination, whose presence somehow feels even m ore abrasive this time around. Starting with her hectic deliv­ ery on “Roman Reloaded,” which zigzags between short-of-breath word association and aggressive, maniacal faux-Brit vocals, the track introduces Roman Zolanski, her alter ego of sorts. Fearing that her persona lacked a certain element of mystique, the Zolanski character pops in and out briefly, yet the true mystery here is why Minaj would dedicate the album to such a minor and silly premise. Minaj’s total embrace of her own wackiness means that songs similar in sound to her previous pop hits are given comparatively less attention here. The odds of ra­ dio-friendly filler tracks like “Starships” and “Automatic” achieving the same level of success as “Super Bass” and “Check it Out” are slim to none; her dance songs only go through the motions of synth-infused bubblegum pop and then dis­ miss themselves accordingly. Her artistic focus rests solely on creating a hyperactive and wacky caricature of herself, and in doing so, she has essentially boxed herself within these confines. It’s a gim­ mick that gets old pretty fast, though perhaps in moderation it could be more tolerable. Nicki Minaj has never cared much for profundity; nor should we expect any. If Roman R eloaded ac­ complishes anything, it will let the world know that, try as she may, her music is more fun when the wacki­ ness isn’t forced. —Nick P etrillo

Great Lake Swimmers: New Wild Everywhere Fans of Great Lake Swimmers can stop holding their breath—the band has released New Wild Ev­ eryw h ere, their first release since 2009’s Lost C hannels. The new tracks sound strangely familiar, as is the nature of Tony Dekker’s won­ derfully peaceful voice, and with the exception of a few songs with feetstomping appeal (“Easy Come Easy Go,” “Changes with the Wind”), most of the album is a soothing and easy listen. The album opens with “Think That You Might Be Wrong,” a quiet number rich with strings and love­ ly vocal harmonies. The title track “New Wild Everywhere” observes the dark side of nature and is prob­ ably the catchiest of the album. Great Lake Swimmers have a history of recording in unique loca­ tions, including an abandoned grain silo and a lakeside church in South­ ern Ontario, but they ventured into a conventional recording studio for the majority of New Wild E very­ w here. The one exception is "The Great Exhale,” which was recorded in the Lower Bay Station, an aban­ doned subway platform in Toronto (although it sounds as if it were re­ corded in a meadow of fresh flow­ ers). Ending the album is "Les Champs De Progéniture,” a French translation of a previous song on the record, “Fields of Progeny.” Th<>ugh finishing with French lyrics is a bit peculiar, the song puts a nice rib­ bon on the overall folksy feel of the album. New Wild E veryw here isn't a big departure from the sound of their previous albums, but the stable familiarity of their music is com­ forting. Each new album offers a sense of security, and this one is no different.

hrblock.ca | 800-HRBLOCK (472-5625) © 2012 H&R Block Canada, Inc. ‘ Average is based on all student returns prepared at H&R Block in Canada from January 1, 2011 to May 2, 2011 for 2010 tax returns. The average refund amount calculated for students was over $1,100 CAD. This amount cannot be guaranteed and varies based on each individual tax situation. “ $29.95 valid for regular student tax preparation only. Cash Back service included. To qualify for student pricing, student must present either (i) a T2202a documenting 4 or more months of full-time attendance at a college or university during 2011 or (ii) a valid high school identification card. Expires July 31, 2012. Valid only at participating H&R Block locations in Canada. SPC Card offers valid from 08/01/11 to 07/31/12 at participating locations in Canada only. For Cardholder only. Offers may vary, restrictions may apply. Usage may be restricted when used in conjunction with any other offer or retailer loyalty card discounts. Cannot be used towards the purchase of gift cards or certificates.

@mcgill_tribune

—Alex K noll

TOP TEN CANADIAN OLYMPIC HOPEFULS CM

CM

BY STEVEN LAMPERT

1. ADAM VAN KOEVERDEN KAYAKING Likely Canada's strongest Olympic hopeful, van Koeverden is the reigning world champion in the K-l 1000m, and is a candidate to win a medal in the K -l500m as w ell.

2. CAROL HUYNH WRESTLING Huynh is the defending Olympic gold medalist in the 48 kg freestyle wrestling division, and heads to London as the 2011 Pan Am Games champion.

3. DYLAN ARMSTRONG SHOT PUT Canadian shot putter Dylan Armstrong will aim for his first Olympic medal, after earning a silver medal at the 2011 IAAF World Championships.

4. MARY SPENCER -BOXING Women's boxing will

make its inaugural appearance as an Olympic event in London, and Spencer is considered the favourite, having already won three past World Championship titles.

5. TARA WHITTEN CYCLING

S I5 w.

Whitten is a former cross-country skier, and specializes in the Omnium cycling event, winning the gold medal at the 2010 UCI Track Cycling World Championships.

6. KARINE SER GER IETAEKWONDO Since winning the silver medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, Sergerie took home bronze in the lightweight division at the 2011 Wold Taekwondo Championships.

7. ANNAMAY PIERSE -SWIMMING The 2008-2009 CIS female athlete of the year, Pierse is the current world

record holder in the 200m long course breaststroke.

8. EMILIE H EYM A N S DIVING Heymans is Canada's strongest women's diver, and looks to repeat her 2008 Beijing silver medal performance in the 10m platform.

9. ALEXANDRE DESPATIE-DIVING One of Canada's most successful male divers, Despatie has won silver medals in the 3m springboard at the past two Olympic Games.

10. PRISCILLA LOPES-SCHLIEPHURDLER While she is often cast under Perdita Felicien's shadow, Lopes-Schliep gives Canada its best chance to earn a medal in the 100m hurdles, after winning a bronze medal at the event in Beijing.

NCAA BASKETBALL March Madness wrapped up this past weekend, as New Orleans played host to the Final Four. The fa­

voured Kentucky Wildcats took care of business on Saturday by defeat­ ing Louisville 69-61. The game was closer than many expected, but Ken­

the McGill Redmen rugby team for defeating Harvard 41-30, capturing th e x 33rd Covo Cup!

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H a r v a r d , the M cGill of Am erica.

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LAST CHANCE FOR GLORY. WRITE FOR THE FINAL ISSUE OF SPORTS

SPORTS@MCGILLTRIBUNE.COM

Image sources: lessignets.com, vervegirl.com, usaswimming.com, twenty 12olympics.com, gunghaggis.com, harryjerome.com, wikimedia, org, canada.com, windsorstar.com, macleans. com, zimbio.

tucky received huge contributions from national player of the year, Anthony Davis, who finished the game with 18 points, 14 rebounds, and five blocks. By being awarded the nation’s top player honour, the Wooden Award, on Saturday, Davis became only the second freshman to earn the award after Kevin Durant won it with Texas in 2007. In the other Final Four matchup, Kansas came back from a 13-point deficit to defeat Ohio State, who crumbled down the stretch of the second half. Thomas Robinson led Kansas with 19 points and eight rebounds, while Ohio State standout Jared Sullinger was neutralized, hitting only five of his 19 attempted shots. The two sto­ ried programs met on Monday night in the championship game. (Results were not released before publica­ tion).

In ca s e y o u w ere to o b u sy tryin g to recla im th e Iron T hrone, h e r e ’s w hat y o u m issed this p a st w eek in th e w orld o f sp orts ...

Congratulations to

FIGURE SKATING - Figure skating rarely makes its way into the Water Cooler, but we felt it neces­ sary to highlight Canadian Patrick Chan’s incredible performance this past weekend in Nice, France. Chan ended an unbeaten skating season by successfully defending his secondstraight world figure skating cham­ pionship title. With the gold medal, Chan continues to ride his wave of

momentum after having won almost every male-athlete-of-the-year hon­ our Canada offered in 2011. More­ over, it’s becoming clear that he is the best male figure skater on the planet. Canadians will hopefully take notice of Chan and watch the 21-year-old leading up to the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games. Who knew figure skating could get us this hyped up? NBA BASKETBALL - The NBA playoffs became that much less exciting after news broke Saturday that Knicks guard Jeremy Lin tore the meniscus in his left knee guaran­ teeing that his breakthrough season is over. The “Linjury” is devastat­ ing news to many basketball fans, as Lin became one of the most popular athletes in the world in a matter of weeks after coming out of nowhere and igniting the Knicks’ season. In basketball news across the sea, for­ mer NBA All-Star Stephon Marbury led the Beijing Ducks to their firstever Chinese Basketball Association title by defeating last year’s champi­ ons, the Guangdong Tigers 124-121. The 35-year old Marbury scored 41 points in the clinching game, and seems to have reinvented his career in China. He averaged 26.2 points per game during the season, but as

for any NBA comebacks, Marbury seems very happy in Beijing. With his reemergence, we think it’s time to lace up the old “Starbury” sneak­ ers ... remember those? FOOTBALL — New Orleans Head Coach Sean Payton and Gen­ eral Manager Mickey Loomis are set to meet at the NFL’s New York offices today with NFL commis­ sioner Roger Goodell. The meet­ ing is on the topic of their hearings about their appeals of suspensions resulting from the Saints’ bounty program. Goodell agreed to give them a chance to state their case. We hope Goodell welcomes Payton and Loomis into the meeting with a nice cheap shot from behind. In other news, Nike won a temporary re­ straining order last Wednesday that will prevent Reebok from selling or manufacturing any Tim Tebowrelated products. Nike, which be­ gins its five-year run as the NFL’s licensed apparel manufacturer this season, claimed that Reebok used Tebow’s name on New York Jets’ merchandise without permission after Tebow had been traded to the Jets. The Tribune advises the two companies to take this rift to the big man upstairs ... or Tebow, because he has a direct line.

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CDMPILED BY Hrant B ard ajikan , Trevor D rum m ond, Josh Freedm an, jo sn r r iz a n i

AMERICAN LEAGUE EA5T

Forget about the collapse, this team

the wildcard race leading up to the final

against the emerging Blue Jays shouldn’t

is loaded with talent and is poised to

games of the season. Jose Bautista is a

be overlooked. If they falter early, the

make Fenway's centennial memorable.

wonderful player but this team needs to

Rays will have a difficult time surmount­

The Yankees bolstered their pitch­

The lineup features several power hitters

surround him with some big name talent

ing losses at the hands of divisional op­

ing rotation this year with the additions

in Adrian Gonzalez, David Ortiz, and Jac-

to stay competitive within this division.

ponents.

1. New York Yankees

of Michael Pineda and Hiroki Kuroda. Al­

coby Ellsbury. A healthy Carl Crawford

Brett Lawrie is set to become a household

though Pineda is slated to open the sea­

should regain his All-Star form and put

name by the end of the 2012 season and

son on the disabled list, the Bombers hold

this team over the top. While not extraor­

his success will be a testament to the

a slight advantage over the Red Sox ro­

dinary, the starting rotation is respectable

depth of the Jays' farm team.

tation because of their ace, CC Sabathia.

and enters the season with a chip on its

Despite the declining play of Derek Jeter

shoulder. The same can't be said about

and Alex Rodriguez, the Yanks have a few

their mediocre bullpen, which will ulti­

big bats with Curtis Granderson and Mark

mately cost the Sox the division title.

Teixeira, who hammered 41 and 39 HRs, respectively, in 2011.

2 . Boston Red Box

3 . Toronto Blue Jays

M. Tempo Bey Roys

This team will undoubtedly miss out on the playoffs yet again as they concen­

Rays will take a major step back this

trate on rebuilding for the future. The. have some nice pieces in Matt Wieter

opening schedule, which features three

and Adam Jones, but those two aren't

The Blue Jays won't reach the post­

series against powerhouses: the Yankees,

enough to survive in this uber competi­

season, but they will be in the thick of

Tigers, and Red Sox. Also, their matchup

tive division.

(out of 15) in the AL in both earned

runs against. Their offense

After more than twenty years of

runs and runs scored, but a bounce-

pretty good power, and catcher Carlos Santana is a bona fide star.

heartache, the Royals have assembled

back year isn't out of the question. A healthy Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau

season in 2011 and are the defending

dangerous

will provide a much-needed offensive

AL Central division champions. After

league. Billy Butler, Eric Hosmer, and

offensive

teams

in

the

scoring the fourth most runs in the AL

Mike Moustakas form the young core

in 2011, the team brought in big slug­

of their offense. Don't be surprised

ger Prince Fielder to further strengthen

if the Royals are playing meaningful

their batting. Look for Max Scherzer

games come September.

to compliment reigning AL MVP Jus­ tin Verlander in a young and talented

3 . M innesota Twins

pitching rotation.

2 . K an sas City Royals

give their fans even a sliver of hope.

Contrary to popular opinion, the

what may become one of the most

The Tigers are coming off a solid

The laughing stock of the AL East, the Orioles have done little to

season. Their demise will be their season

CENTRAL 1. Detroit Tigers

5 . Baltimore Orioles

boasts

5 . Chicago White Sox

boost to an anemic offense. An aging offense and a mediocre

M.

Cleveland Indians

pitching staff should place the South Siders at the bottom of the AL Cen­

The key to any success for the In­

tral for the first time since 1989. The

dians in 2012 rests squarely on their

biggest question marks are in their

pitching rotation. Justin Masterson is

rotation, most notably Jake Peavy's

a legitimate number one, and the ad­

health and Chris Sale's move from the

The Twins are coming off a hor­

ditions of Ubaldo Jimenez and Derek

bullpen, while their batting order is

rible year that saw them finish 13th

Lowe should help lower the earned

decrepit.

2 . Texas Rangers

3 . Seattle M arin ers

WEST I. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Oakland Athletics

After losing C.J. Wilson to the An­

The Mariners traded rookie of

The A's may have had the busi­

The off-season additions of Albert

gels, Texas signed Japanese phenom­

the year finalist Michael Pineda to the

est off-season in the division, but v. th

Pujols and C.J. Wilson make the Angels

enon Yu Darvish to be the ace of the

Yankees in exchange for catcher Jesus

much less fanfare. Oakland sigr ed

a World Series favourite heading into

pitching staff. Their offense is incred­

Montero. Though Seattle now has a

exciting Cuban prospect Yoenis Ces-

the 2012 season. Wilson joins a pitch­

ibly powerful, but Josh Hamilton, Ian

middle of the lineup bat to pair with

pedes, while they also traded starting

ing rotation that already includes All-

Kinsler, Nelson Cruz, and Adrian Beltré

their ace pitcher Felix Hernandez, the

pitchers Trevor Cahill and Gio Gonza­

Stars Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, and

all carry injury concerns. The Rangers

rest of the roster looks very weak. Ich­

lez for a haul of prospects. The A's are

Ervin Santana. Albert Pujols will solid­

will likely make the playoffs as one of

iro Suzuki is on the decline and sopho­

desperate for a new stadium, poten­

ify the offense, but the healthy return

the wild card teams, but a third con­

more Dustin Ackley may not be ready

tially in San Jose. Until then, they will

of Kendrys Morales may be equally as

secutive trip to the World Series may

to make an impact.

be one of the worst teams in baseball.

important.

be wishful thinking. mage sources: nationalsportsbeat.com, seeklogo.com, phombo.com, graphicshunt.com, sportsgeekery.com, sportslogos.net,

MAJOR LEAGUE

'BASEBALL SEASON PREVIEW

EAST M. Miami M arlins

3 . Washington Nationals

2 . Philadelphia Phillies

I. Atlanta B raves

5 . New Vurk M ets

Yes, the M ia m i Marlins made

If there is any certainty in the

The Nationals are poised to

a big splash this offseason, getting

NL East, it is that the Mets are going to struggle mightily this year. Their

With a lot of up and coming

When healthy, the Phillies are

youngsters, the Braves were con­

the best team in the division, but

make a playoff push this season.

a new stadium, jersey, and some

tent to stay put this off-season.

star sluggers

and

With a three-headed pitching at­

needed talent in the form of Jose

rotation is a mess led by a beat-up

However, with a balanced rotation,

Chase Utley are battling injuries.

tack led by Gio Gonzalez, Jordan

Reyes, Mark Buehrle, and Heath

Johan Santana, who is expected to

bullpen, and lineup, the team should

Combined with other aging veter­

Zimmerman, and Stephen Strasburg,

Bell. With the big bat of Giancarlo

be the ace of the staff, and beside

be able to ascend to their familiar

ans, the Phillies are looking vulner­

the Nationals seem ready to shut

Stanton and a returning Josh John­

Ike Davis and David Wright, their

place at the top of the NL East. A

able on offence, with Hunter Pence

down their opposing offences. A full

son, there is a lot to be hopeful

offence is much below average. The

rejuvenated Jason Heyward and the

expected to carry the load. The Phil­

season of Ryan Zimmerman and a

about. However, let's not forget that

only bright spot may be Lucas Duda,

continued dominance of the Braves'

lies' playoff chances will rest on

bounceback year from Jayson Werth

this team was horrendous last year,

who should put up better than ex­

flame-throwing pitchers should see

the dominance of top three pitch­

should also help place the Nationals

winning just 72-games, and that

pected numbers in RF. The Mets will

the Tomahawk Chop performed late

ers— Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and

in position to finally play meaningful

a few splashy free agent signings

be lucky to crack 75 wins.

into October.

Cole Hamels. Winning is possible

baseball in September.

won't make up all the difference.

Ryan

Howard

whenever any of these three pitch,

Expect the Marlins to squeak over

so expect the Phillies to comfortably

the .500 mark.

make the playoffs.

CENTRAL 1. Cincinnati Reds

With the departure of Prince

lost their future Hall of Fame Man­

longest World Series drought (103

sons and appear to be heading to-

Fielder and the distractions sur­

ager Tony La Russa and future Hall

years). The rebuilding process will

wards a 20th. Pittsburgh has a very

rounding Ryan Braun, most fans

of Fame first baseman Albert Pujols.

be long, but Epstein knows what he

weak starting rotation and has no

The Reds offense looks to be

have dismissed the Brewers head­

However, not all is lost in Missouri.

is doing. Starlin Castro, Matt Garza,

offensive threat after McCutchen.

loaded with Joey Votto, Jay Bruce,

ing into this season. Their pitching

The addition

Beltran,

and Geovany Soto provide a decent

and Brandon Phillips providing the

remains very strong, led by Zack

the healthy return of starter Adam

core, but years of bad management

power. Youngsters Drew Stubbs and

Greinke and Yovani Gallardo, and

Wainwright, and the emergence of

have ruined this ball club for the

Zack Cozart should make an impact

the addition of Aramis Ramirez at

playoff hero David Freese provide

short term.

as well, but it's the addition of start­

third base should help alleviate the

hope for the Cards. They are still a

ing pitcher Mat Latos that makes

departure of Fielder. At the end of

good team, but they won't match

the Reds the division favourite. As

the day, this is still one of the most

their magical 2011 campaign.

long as Latos can stay healthy, the

balanced teams in the NL.

B . Houstun A stros The Houston Astros will be

5 . Pittsburgh P ira te s

one of the worst teams in baseball in 2012. Trading Hunter Pence last season signaled the team's com-

M. Chicago Cubs

Reds should be division champs.

3 . 5t. Louis Cardinals

2 . Milwaukee B rew ers

of Carlos

The World Series champions

Signing outfielder Andrew Me-

mitment to a long-term rebuild-

Cutchen to a long-term deal was

ing process, but there isn't a lot of

The Theo Esptein era is un­

the first step towards becoming a

Major League talent on this roster,

derway in Chicago, as the former

legitimate franchise, but the Pirates

Second baseman Jose Altuve has

Red Sox GM tries to end baseball's

have had 19 consecutive losing sea-

some promise and pitchers Wandy

3. C.A. Dodgers

M. Culoradu Rockies

WEST >VANT,

2. Arizona Diamondbacks

I. San Francisco Giants

5 . San Diego Padres

Fresh off a new $2 billion own­ Dodgers

There isn’t much to like about

The Padres find themselves in

ners should regress somewhat this

are hoping to catch some 'Magic.'

the Rockies this year. They were a

the same boat as the Rockies— a

Last season's The Giants of 2012 resemble

division

win­

ership deal, the

squad

season, although they will remain

An offence bolstered by Matt Kemp

poor team last season, and did

weak team looking to rebuild for

from two years ago, and the team

in the division hunt. Ian Kennedy

and a healthy Andre Ethier should

not do much to improve in the off­

the future. The Padres have a laugh­

that failed to make the playoffs

and Ryan Roberts had uncharac­

see them scoring runs in droves,

season. Although the addition of

ably bad offence, with no real po­

last season— great pitching com­

teristically strong seasons last year,

however their playoff chances could

Michael Cuddyer, along with proven

tential to generate any runs. Chase

bined with mediocre hitting. While

so don't expect them to light it up

be hampered by the lack of quality

stars Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos

Headley,

this problem still remains, the team

once again. With a major star in

starters behind the amazing Clay­

Gonzalez may help the club score

Nick Hundley don't exactly scream

should get a boost from a return­

Justin Upton and a slugging catcher

ton Kershaw. The X-Factor is their

some runs, the club's awful pitch­

Murderer's Row. While the massive

ing Buster Posey and an emerging

in Miguel Montero, however, the D-

high-octane bullpen. If this strike­

ing depth may ensure a lot of losses

confines of Petco Park can help the

Brandon Belt. They have the ability

Backs can't be counted out.

both

their

championship

to win 90 games, which should be enough in the weak NL West.

Cameron

Maybin,

and

out-throwing crew can help the

at hitter-friendly Coors Field. Expect

Padres decent pitching crew keep

team pull out some close games,

the Rockies to struggle in this re­

the game close, the Padres will be

the Dodgers will vie for the division

building year.

lucky to crack 70 wins this season.

crown.

ONE WEEK LEFT OF THE TRIBUNE 2011-2012!

H A V E A C O M M E N T O N A N A R T I C L E Y O U ’V E

R E A D IN T H E T R I B U N E ?

W R IT E T O E D I T O R @ M C G I L L T R I B U N E . C O M

A N D G E T Y O U R O P IN IO N P U B L IS H E D

Graduate and Post-Graduated Scholarships related with Hybrid Spyder vehicle development program Centre de technologies avan­ cées BRP-Université de Sher­ brooke (CTA) offers Graduate and Post-Graduated Scho­ CENTRE DE TECHNOLOGIES AVANCÉES larships related with Hybrid i n SHERBROOKE Spyder Vehicle development program. Offered projects are realized within multidis­ ciplinary teams, including professors from Université de Sherbrooke along with technicians and engineers from Bombardier Recreational Products (BRP) and they lead to functional prototypes building.

redbird

CTA is actually seeking for top-level candidates in Mechanical and Electrical Engineering to tackle Master, Doctorate or Post-doctorate projects associated with hybrid-propulsion technologies: • Aerodynamics • Heat Management • Mechanicals/Mechatronics

mm s P R IV A TE M E D IC A L C L I N I C

LET US CREATE YOUR W ELLNESS TODAY WITH TOMORROW’S MEDICINE S ER VICES • M e d ic a l c o n su lta tio n

Interested candidates are requested to send a motivation letter and resume along with their school marks bulletin at the following address: Director - University affairs Centre de technologies avancées 3000, boul. de l'Université Sherbrooke J1K0A5 info@CTA-BRP-UdeS.com Deadline : April 15th, 2012 for 2012 Summer session programs Relevant candidates only will be selected fo r interviews. CTA offers a dynamic and stimulating workplace featuring hi-tech equipments in an outstanding living envi­ ronment. CTA is committed to the principle o f employment equity. While remaining sensitive to the issue o f fa ir and equitable treatment fo r all, we will seek to establish a workplace representative o f the people we serve by implementing employment equity policies and procedures. For more information visit us at http://www.cta-brp-udes.com/en/msc-and-phd-programs.htmi

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