The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 4

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OP/ED: M e and Bush, in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

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A&E: The mini skirt-A little piece of fabric with lots to say

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SPORTS: G et a grip on new intramural flag football rules

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

P U B L I S H E D BY T HE S T U D E N T S ' S O C I E T Y O F M C G I L L U N I V E R S I T Y

Building community Housing project p ro p o sed for universities ate provost of academic services and the university's representative on the Cité universitaire coordinating group, A joint project between the city of said that the project would benefit stu­ Montreal and its seven universities dents in intangible ways. may create more housing for students "At one level, it would provide in the city core. The proposed cité uni­ attractive and reasonably priced versitaire is a network of student hous­ accommodation," he said. "At a more ing complexes for about 3,000 stu­ important level, it would be a large dents that could open in 2007. and lively community of students from Those involved in the project are all parts of the world... attending all keeping mum on where exactly the the universities in Montreal. If it works complexes might be constructed and right, it will provide a very exciting how much rent will cost.

"The current plan is that there bilingual academic and cultural envi­ ronment." would be a multi-site facility. They're The idea for a cité universitiaire still reviewing all these operational was inspired by an international stu­ things—who would own it, how it dent village that exists in Paris. would be set up, how it would be Though the student housing crisis paid for," said University Planning in Montreal has subsided, the need for Office Director. Chuck Adler, who university housing, still exists if McGill commented on potential sites as part wants to make more housing offers as of a preliminary study. enrolment expands, said Student "Right now the concept is that Housing Office Manager Janice there would be a site that... the Johnson. She said that the opening of McGill students and the Concordia New Residence Hall last year was students are the closest to, so one equivalent to the construction of an would assume that they would proba­ 18-storey apartment building in the bly occupy most of the residences on Ghetto, and therefore helped alleviate that site," he said.

See CITE, page 2 Nick de Takacsy, McGill's associ­ LISA VARANO

Poli sci students Kelly G raham and Jam ie O rm o n d w ere tired of seeing an anti-Sem itic m essage go unchallenged.

Enough is enough S tu d e n ts ta k e s ta n c e

a g a in s t in to le r a n c e F E AT UR E

JENNIFER JETT

Frustrated by the inaction of city and McGill authorities, students have responded to a man who has been demonstrating outside the Roddick Gates for the past three months with demonstrations of their own.

A man identifying himself as Lloyd A. Davidson has stood outside the gates on rue Sherbrooke most week­ days since June. His rotating supply of signs claim, among other things, that "Christianity is the true Jewish religion."

At least three students showed up at the Roddick Gates independently on Wednesday to protest Davidsons anti-

Semitic and misogynistic messages.

Jamie Ormond, U3 Political Science,- took action on Wednesday in part because it was the eve of Rosh Hashanah. Ormond had visited busi­ nesses along avenue McGill College and called Jewish organizations, but was disappointed by the response.

"I feei degraded," she said. "The police won't help me. He gets spat at, he calls the police."

Staging her own protest, she said, proved more effective.

"One day of action produces more results than hundreds of phone calls," she said.

U1 Political Science student Kelly

Graham decided to make her own sign while sitting in class. Finding Ormond already at the gates, Graham asked what her sign said.

"She shows it to me, and I say, 'Oh, I brought a poster, too,"' Graham said.

Early in the afternoon, a third student denounced Davidson's words through a megaphone.

Pierre Barbarie, assistant manag­ er for McGill Security, said that his hands are tied by campus boundaries, which end at the gates.

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tomp those little Uggs all you want, ain't nothing that was going to distract us froij| the topic of celebrity. You: the sad junkie, so hungry for your fix that you'd give your momma's uterus for the latest InTouch. Us: the enablers, shrieking with glee as we put on our cattiest, most superficial, fame-worshipping, Blist hating, over-sized sunglasses and turn the spotlight onto our local afflic­ tion. Features: crammed with trash even less palatable than Britney Federlinel The things we do for you...

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See IN T O L E R A N C E , p a g e 5.

This Week in McGill Athletics Fri., Sept. 24 @ 7 & 9pm Soccer <m&w) vs Concordia (Moison stadium) Sat., Sept. 25 @ 7pm Redmen Hockey vs Lakehead (McConnell Arena)

Sat., Sept. 25 @ 12 &2pm Redbird Baseball vs Concordia (PE. Trudeau Park) Sat., Sept. 25 11am Martlet Lacrosse vs Queen’s, 3pm vs U of T (Lower Campus) Sun., Sept. 26 1pm Martlet Lacrosse vs Wilfrid Laurier (Lower Campus) www.athletics.mcgiii.ca or (514) 398-7000 for info

McGill

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JENNIFER JETT Diana Kerry, sister of American presidential candidate John Kerry, visit­ ed McGill on Friday to campaign for the Democratic nominee.

Sporting a pair of red, white and blue earrings in the shape of donkeys — an unofficial Democratic mascot — Kerry gave interviews and spoke to a small group of passing students about her brother's electoral prospects and the importance of registering to vote.

Kerry, who chairs Americans Overseas for Kerry-Edwards, was headed back to Boston Friday evening, after two weeks of travelling.

With six" weeks to go until the November 2 election, Kerry trails President George W. Bush by eight points among registered voters, according to a CBS News/New York Times poll conducted last week. A Gallup survey of likely voters last week showed Bush leading Kerry 55 per cent to 42 per cent. Other polls have shown the two candidates in a statisti­ cal tie.

Kerry said that her older brothers current underdog status could actually benefit his campaign.

"It brings out the competitive nature of my brother and helps him to

focus," said Kerry, who speaks German and French and recently worked as a teacher in Indonesia. "J fully expect that he will close the gap.

You need to peak on election day, and that's what he's working on now."

She added that the size or even existence of such a gap is question­ able, given the varying results of polls.

Kerry criticized American media coverage of the campaign.

"A lot of the media interest has been very much focused on the nega­ tives put out by the opposition," she said.

T h e M e lo c h e M o n n e x h o m e a n d a u to

Appearances like Kerry's are part of a drive on the part of Doth Democrats and Republicans to mobi­ lize American voters living overseas.

Former Vice-President Dan Quayle and Bush's nephew George P. Busn have both stumped for the president outside the US in an attempt to engage voters on a personal level.

In the 2000 presidential election, no more than 250,000 non-military Americans living overseas voted, said Jim Brenner, executive director of AOK. This year more than 1.5-million may cast ballots.

C o n tin u e d fro m c o v e r

Many of those ballots will be mailed from Canada. Of the approxi­ mately five million American civilians living overseas, 680,000. reside in Canada, according to 1999 esti­ mates. Sixty-five thousand of those are in the Montreal area.

Brenner emphasized the potential impact of overseas votes, especially for Kerry's campaign. A Zogby poll found that voters with valid passports tend to favour Kerry over Bush (58 per cent to 35 per cent).

"You look at Florida, where the outcome of the vote in 2000 was decided by 537 votes," Brenner said.

As of September 9, 26,250 peo­ ple had registered to vote through the Democratic-backed Web site www.overseasvote2004.com.

Of those new registrants, more than a third are from "swing" states that could decide the outcome of the election, and 5,800 registered from Canada.

Kerry noted the energy and enthu­ siasm of overseas voters, including uni­ versity students.

"I think that people understand that the stakes are high in this election," she said. ■ —Additional reporting

by Laura Saba

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the housing crunch in that neigh­ bourhood.

"Certainly when the idea was first floated a couple of years ago, it was a great idea because there was a real housing crisis...

Student housing was a real issue," she said. "[But]... there's always a need for student hôus• ing. We don't have housing set aside for exchange students, for example."

Gn the other hand, Johnson noted, not all students want to reside in buildings that only house other students.

De Takacsy said that the Cifé universitaire project is at the "serious feasibility stage." The total cost of the complexes and who would own the buildings have yet to be determined. Once funding is obtained from Quebec and Ottawa, de Takacsy said, a consulting firm will be commis­ sioned to further look into these issues.

"It is very unlikely that any of the universities will put any money into the project," he said, "in part because our operating funds are already stretched to the limit try­ ing to meet our core academic needs." ■

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th e mcgill tribune | 21.9.04 | news

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Ww «iM sJS& C r' In an effort to raise awareness about recent provincial cuts to student financial aid programs and the threat of international tuition deregulation, the Students' Society has launched a phone campaign targeting local mem­ bers of Quebec's National Assembly.

Adorned with a construction paper sign that reads, "Don't let them steal your education," the new infor­ mation kiosk in the Shatner University Centre lobby doubles as the call cen­ tre. Students are being encouraged to contact government officials directly to express their dissatisfaction with cer­ tain education policies.

Along with cutbacks to student aid programs in the last provincial budget, Premier Jean Charest's govern­ ment is also considering the complete deregulation of international tuition SSMU Vice-President Communications and Events Mark Sward circulated details of the phone campaign via a mass e-mail on September 13.

"Tell them what you think about their cutting $ 103-million to your finan­ cial aid and threatening to completely deregulate international tuition," said Sward. “You don't have to be Canadian to call and be heardl" SSMU has also set up a Web site to promote the phone campaign.

It lists contact information for certain provincial politicians and information relating to issues of student debt, finan­ cial aid and international tuition. ■ According to the Web site, "Quebec can now boast having the lowest tuition fees in the Canadian federation, but paradoxically, debt lev­ els close to the Canadian average."

Only local MNAs such as Health Minister Philippe Couillard and

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Finance Minister Yves Séguin have been targeted by the campaign.

Contact information for Education Minister Pierre Reid was not provided.

According to SSMU VicePresident Community and Government Daniel Friedlaender, similar cam­ paigns are being launched.in conjunc­ tion with provincial lobby group la Fédération des étudiants universitare du Québec at universities across the province.

He is especially pleased by the amount of information SSMU has been able to distribute.

"It's the first step in a year-long process. I'm sure we'll build from here," he said.

"The key for me is that it informs

a lot of students. We've handed out a lot of flyers to a lot of people."

Questions have been raised as to the effectiveness of the campaign, however. Not all students-use the Shatner building, while many others do not check their McGill webmail accounts on a regular basis.

Kurt Sebastian, U3 Management, had not heard anything about the campaign.

"Although I have yet to hear about this fantastic bat line connected straight to the bureaucrats' red phone, I think a direct line to Alto's would be more popular," he said. ■

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KEVIN AFSHARI The growing cost of posFsecondary education has caused some stu­ dents to turn to food banks, and it may not be long before one is established at McGill.

There are 51 campus-based food banks in Canada, with most on major university and college campuses.

James Kusie, national director of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations, said the rise in demand for food banks began in 1996 when the provinces reallocated $4-billion of the Health and Social Transfer from education into health care.

These and other cuts in education spending translated into higher tuition fees, Kusie said, leading students' food budgets to suffer.

A June 9 joint report' by the Canadian Association of Food Banks and CASA supports Kusie's claim that there is a correlation between the increase in post-secondary tuition fees and the rising number of food banks.

Michael Marin, agency relations coordinator at the Ottawa Food Bank and former communications officer of CASA, said that the need for food banks in Quebec is not as severe as in other provinces.

"In Quebec, there are the least amount of food banks and there are also the lowest undergraduate tuition

fees," he said. "Clearly there is not as much of a need in Quebec—it corre­ lates [to] the lower tuition fees. Where there is a need, you will see food banks pop up."

The role of food banks is not to create student dependency on aid, said Kusie, but to help students get by in emergency situations.

"Students are being forced to make unreasonable choices between buying a textbook and buying dinner," he said. "There should not be a choice between going to school and eating.

The greater mandate of food banks in general is to not exist."

Marin agreed.

"We don't believe that there should be a need for food banks, but until that happens there is a big need for services like ours," he said.

Students' Society Vice-President

Community and Government Daniel Friedlaender mentioned the possibility of creating a student food bank through SSMU in his mid-summer report.

"I think that we have a lot of stu­ dents who could benefit from the extra service and the extra help," he said.

"They are on tight budgets. If.we can do something like this it can help them eat better, save some money and still go to school.

"In the long term, it's definitely something I hope McGill will have one day. But it's not an easy thing to do."

The Yellow Door,- located at 3625 rue Aylmer, is one of the few food banks in Montreal. It strictly serves McGill students once a week on Friday afternoons until 5pm.

General Secretary Pietro Bozzo said that the program was initially set up to offer peer support as well as food. The Rabbit Hole Café, a vegan collective kitchen, is another service offered in the basement of the Yellow Door building that has seen success in reaching out to hungry McGill students in need. ■ RESOURCES Contact the Yellow Door at 3986243. Santropol Roulant, 4050 rue St.-Urbain, primarily delivers meals to seniors, but also runs a rooftop gar­ dening project: 284-9335.

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news | 219.04 | th e mcgill tribune N EW S

ANALYSIS

By th e

n u m b e rs

P e r c e n t a g e o f u n iv e rs ity a d m i n i s tr a t o r s s k y r o c k e ts

ROBERT CHURCH ith classes in full swing and students beginning to feel the crunch of their workloads, many are getting acquainted or reacquainted with one of McGill's most famous and enduring qualities: its complex bureaucratic nature.

Known continent-wide for its unaccommodating red tape, the university is addressing the problem in a counter-intuitive way: by hiring more non-academic personnel.

Non-academic personnel are defined by the university as admin­ istrative and support staff, including fields such as clerical, technical and executive. The number of such staff employed by McGill has been rising steadily over the past decade, while the rate of increase in students has been comparatively low.

The total number of students at

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CAMPAGNE ANNUELLE DE RECRUTEMENT UNIVERSITAIRE - AUTOMNE 2 0 0 4 U n e c a r r i è r e à la m e s u r e d e v o s a m b i t io n s !

Vous terminez vos études universitaires did août 2005 ? Vous êtes titulaire d'un diplôme d'études universitaires et vous étudiez toujours à temps plein ?Vouscherchez un emploi stimulant en lien avec votre domaine d'études et vous voulez relever des défis ?Ne manquez pas la campagne de recrutement universitaire de la fonction publique québécoise qui se déroule du 20 septembre au 15 octobre 2004.

L'équipe de Recrutement étudiant Québec sera à votre université : • le 22 septembre, au Centre Mont-Royal, 3eétage, de 10 h à 15 h Journée carrière pour les étudiants en administration • le 27 septembre, à l'Atrium, de 10 h à 14 h Stand d'information pour les étudiants en droit • le 29 septembre, pavillons McConnell et Macdonald, de 10 h à 16 h Foires des carrières technologiques pour les étudiants en ingénierie et informatique ( Technologycareer fair) • le 5 octobre, campus Macdonald - pavillon Macdonald Stewart Journée carrière pour les étudiants en agriculture, de 10 h à 14 h Séance d'information, local 2022 (Facultylounge), de 10 h à 11 h

The shock o f coming from a small school to one with more

Pour plus de détails et pour connaître les dates des autres visites, consultez le site Internet du Secrétariat du Conseil du trésor [www.tresor.gouv.qc.ca/etudiants] ou renseignez-vous auprès du service de placement de votre établissement.

than 3 0,0 00 students is often exacerbated by the long lines and complexity o f the M cG ill administration.

O n v o u s a tte n d ... à b ie n tô t !

S e c r é ta ria t d u C o n seil d u tr é s o r

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McGill for the 1994 fall semester was 31,742, while the number of non-academic personnel was 2,91 1. The numbers in both areas decreased by the late 1990s. In 1998, student enrolment was at 28,247 and the number of admin­ istrative and support staff- fell to 2,383. Since 1998, non-academ­ ic staff numbers have jumped almost 18 per cent, to approxi­ mately 2,900, while student enrol­ ment has increased by less than seven per cent, to 30,580.

According to Personnel Officer Merita Ryan, who works in the Staff Relations department of the university's Human Resources Office, McGill has roughly 5,000 academic and support staff. She said that the number of academics at McGill is determined each year by subtracting the total number of non-academic personnel from 5,000. This puts the total number of academic staff somewhere around 2,100.

While it is not unusual for a university to have a greater number of support staff than professors,

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such a significant difference is unusual considering the record number of young people who are now choosing to pursue post-sec­ ondary education, with a corre­ sponding need for more instructors.

Ryan attributed the falling num­ bers during the mid-90s to staff and budget cuts.

"We then got increased fund­ ing from the government," she said.

"We were able to hire more per­ sonnel."

Yet despite the increasing staff numbers, the long lines and red tape remain.

The Princeton Review, which publishes an annual ranking of North America's top 357 universi­ ties, put McGill at 16th in the "Long Lines and Red Tape" category in its 2005 edition. McGill also ranked 17th in the "Professors Make Themselves Scarce" category, and third for "Class Discussions Rare," trailing only the University of Toronto and the Georgia Institute of

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History Professor Gil Troy said that while the people working in the administration themselves are helpful, the collective organisation leaves something to be desired.

"The collective bureaucracy is infamously unresponsive and ineffi­ cient," he said.

Troy also expressed his cha­ grin at the disproportionate num­ bers of personnel hired versus stu­ dents accepted and his outrage that students do not get enough per­ sonal attention in the Faculty of Arts.

First-year students are among those most affected by the imper­ sonal nature of a large university."

The shock of coming from a small school to one with more than 30,000 students is often exacer­ bated by the long lines and com­ plexity of the McGill administration.

"It sucks. It's a waste of time and extremely frustrating," said Elizabeth Lista, a U0 student who came to McGill from a small pri­ vate school in southern Ontario.

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2003

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th e mcgill tribune | 21.9.04 | news

5

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The First Peoples' House hosted its third, and largest-to-date, powwow Thursday on Lower Field. The day-long affair included several inter-tribal and honour songs, performances by Inuit throat singers, and dialogues to address and dispel misconceptions about Aboriginals.

Showcasing and celebrating North American Aboriginal culture, the powwow also facilitated exposure to and interaction with the McGill community.

"This event serves as an educa­

tional opportunity for the greater McGill community—it reminds them that there is an Aboriginal student pop­ ulation at McGill and allows them to learn something about indigenous cul­ ture," said Ellen Gabriel, coordinator of the First Peoples' House.

Additionally, the powwow was intended to reinforce identity and fos­ ter a sense of community among Aboriginal students, many of whom come from small communities.

"We have gatherings like this so we can share our experiences with

one another," said Master of Ceremonies Michael Doxtater. "Our collective knowledge, wisdom and memory are what make us strong."

The powwow was also an impe­ tus for participants to move and be physically active, something Gabriel said has become increasingly impor­ tant.

The powwow will likely remain a mainstay on campus.

"If the funding is there," Gabriel said, "we will continue."

—Heather Haq Lawrence

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DO IT NOW! ? McGill Faculty o f A rts Intern ship Office

You are invited to attend an Inform ation Session for:

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JOSH WILNER

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004 Leacock, Room232 2:00 p.m, to 4:00 p.m.

Wine and cheese reception to follow

"It's time to end Canadian trash dumping in Michigan, " reads the Kerry press release.

"George W Bush has let M ichigan become Canadas landfill."

T hat was the message of a not-so-recent news and the filthy rich. The floundering Kerry says he would release from the desk of John Kerry the Hopeful.

"Not in my backyard!" it seemed to scream. The oh-so chameleon-like senator from Massachusetts has vowed to ban Canadian—in particular, Torontonian— garbage exports to Michigan if he wins the November 2 election.

Kerry said that the US Environmental Protection Agency has not been enforcing a 1992 Canada-U.S. treaty that expanded a 1986’ agreement for cross-bor­ der shipments of hazardous substances. The treaty stip­ ulates that each country be notified at least 30 days in advance of all incoming shipments, with either country reserving the right to reject garbage imports for environ­ mental or health reasons.

EPA officials have noted that the treaty only covers hazardous waste and that therefore the agency is not mandated to limit transboundary movement of house­ hold trash. However, the 1992 amendment contains a rider regarding "other waste," namely municipal solid waste, precisely the materials about which EPA is mak­ ing a stink.

In January 2003 Toronto began sending Michigan all of its trash, 180 truckloads per day. In total, it sent the state 1.1 -million tons of trash last year at a cost of $26-million And so it goes and so it will go, a story of the filthy

close the book on this foul tale.

Has Kerry forgotten the 53,000 tons of haz­ ardous waste Michigan sent Sarnia, Ontario in 2001 ?

Has he overlooked the fact that Toronto recycles 10 per cent more of its waste than does Michigan? What of the North American Free Trade Agreement—for which Kerry voted in 1993 with a resounding "yea," H.R. 3450 vote #395—which established that garbage trade is a legal form of commerce? (Incidentally, Kerry said last year that if it were before him today he would vote against NAFTA. Methinks Mr. Hopeful has flip flopped again.) There's also this little thing called the General Agreement on Trade and Tariffs (GATT), and maybe a US Supreme Court ruling in 1992. But forget about those. We're looking to win some swing states!

But politics aside, halting the garbage trade might prove an effective tactic for dealing with swelling land­ fills. By internalizing the problem, citizens might realize that their unboring-over-consumptive-lkea-lampthrowingout-that-is-becauseyou're-crazy! ways are just plain wasteful. Not only unboring, but also unnecessary and unethical.

Let's stop exporting responsibility. Michigan deserves better than to be the trash can of Toronto.

Who needs a bunch of ugly, worthless Leafs jerseys anyhow? ■

Come and fin d o u t a b o u t th e Arts Intern ship Program . Hear fellow students talk about th e high lights and challenges o f th e ir internship experiences, w h a t they learned, and how th e y plan to apply their experience to th e ir field o f study.

A ll A rts F a c u lty an d S tu d e n ts a re w e lc o m e .

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In to le ra n c e Continued from cover "He needs to keep moving because once he stays stationary in one area, especially an entrance, he could inhibit individ­ uals from entering and that's ille­ gal," Barbarie said. "We can tell him to leave but we can't force him to, unfortunately."

Now that classes have resumed, however, Davidson is more visible.

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"Today he's had a really bad day," Ormond said Wednesday. "He's been spoken to by many, many disgruntled university students who want their campus free of negative speech."

Graham agreed.

"It's hate. He shouldn't be allowed to walk around promot­ ing hate," she said. "If enough YASEM IN EMORY people cause him problems, then maybe he'll change his sign." ■ Protester's words peppered with intolerance.

Patrick Lemieux, Patrick Robitaille - Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) W e d n e sd a y , S e p te m b e r 2 9 , 2 0 0 4 , 5 -7 PM M c G i l l U n iv e r s i t y , F a c u l t y o f L a w N e w C h a n c e llo r D a y H a ll

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6

new s | 21.9 .0 4 | th e mcgill tribune

C A M P U S

NEW S

NEWS BRI EFS O n e dead, tw o injured on th e M a in

One man died and two others were hospitalized Saturday after an early morning attack on boulevard StLaurent.

According to Robert Mansueto, an officer at the scene, police from sta­ tion 38 responded to several 91 1 calls,around 5:00am.

Police initially found two male victims, aged 19 and 23. One victim was found at the corner of St-Laurent and rue Rachel. The other, found at avenue Duluth and St-Laurent, told police he had been attacked outside of 4070 boulevard St-Laurent, a sec­ ond-floor apartment.

Upon entering the residence, police discovered a third victim, who later died in the hospital. The primary suspect, a 23-year-old man, was found with the male victim and was arrested at the scene.

Mansueto said that the victims had likely been stabbed. They were found in their underwear, with no iden­ tification or money.

He said the attack was particular­ ly violent, but called it "an isolated incident at this residence" that is unre­ lated to previous crime on St-Laurent and ruled out gang violence or ran­ dom burglary.

No witnesses to the attacks had been located as of Saturday after­ noon. Police could not confirm a rela­ tionship among the Victims, though ! they all lived at the sarfie address.

I —Rëbecca Graber U G E on th e m o v e

The Union for Gender Empowerment has moved from its old office to a smaller space’on the fourth ' floor of the Shatner University Centre.

The newly-created Safety Network, \ which is comprised of the McGill First 1 Aid Service, Walksafe and Drivesafe, \ has taken its place.

The Students' Society informed members of the UGE late this summer that they would be relocated. UGE's

old accommodations included a lounge, an office, a washroom and a small kitchen. The new space is approximately half the size of the lounge alone.

"It has nothing to do with thinking that they're not important, because all services are important," said Sameen Shahid, SSMU vice-president clubs and services.

The move initially left UGE "scrambling to pick up the pieces," according to Jordan Reid, a member of the UGE collective.

The union had to request storage space for some of its books, raising concern over their subsequent accessi­ bility as resources. Furthermore, to UGE, the loss of the lounge meant the absence of a confidential space that could be used for the sale of birth con­ trol and hygienic items.

"It's compromising our ability to really act the way we wanted to act," said Reid.

Shahid said that SSMU is trying to ensure that the service does not sur­ fer.

"We're taking measures to make sure that the quality of their service is maintained," she said.

The new UGE office is in room 433 of the Shatner building.

—Miriam M artz Leave th e car at h o m e

Rue McTavish will be closed to traffic tomorrow as part of the annual International Car-Free Day. "I hope that students will become more aware of the transportation choices they make everyday. But I also hope they'll have a fun time cele­ brating the alternatives," said Students' Society Environmental Commissioner Kim D'Souza, adding that a solar car will be the only vehicle on the road.

This is the first time the SSMU has applied for the city's permission to shut down the street.

—Lisa Varano

D e p a r tm e n t o f M ic ro b io lo g y a n d im m u n o lo g y.,., ^ M c G ill U n iv e rs ity

I^^Rrofessor Jan Sapp ^

M c G ill r e c y c l i n g D A R Y L W IL E

If you think that dropping your waste paper or pop can in a campus recycling bin is helping the environ­ ment, think again. Recyclable waste at McGill doesn't always make it to a recycling plant. Rather, it occasional­ ly ends up dumped in a Quebec landfill along with regular waste.

"It's no mistake," said Kathleen Ng, McGill environmental officer. "It's an ongoing problem."

According to Ng, the problem is not a result of an administrative error or a cut corner, but rather a general lack of knowledge about what mate­ rials are recyclable. If a bag of recy­ clable waste is contaminated—by a half-full pop can, leading to a fruit fly infestation, for example—the whole bag is deemed unrecyclable, and recycling company JC Fibers will not pick it up.

Ng said that the same holds true when mixed materials such as plasticcoated coffee cups find their way into a paper recycling bin, despite JC

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Fibers' motto, which states that "not a single shred of paper or cardboard [needs] to find its way to a landfill."

Statistics from JC Fibers suggest that McGill recycled approximately 13 metric tons of glass, metal ana plastic in 2003 and 305 tons of paper in 2002. These numbers do not paint a rosy picture, especially when compared to some 2,500 tons of refuse sent to landfills in 2002. JC Fibers and McGill's environmental commission were unable to confirm how much recyclable material is refused at the time of monthly pickup and sent to landfills instead.

In fact, the JC Fibers pickup pol­ icy is unevenly enforced.

"We won't pick it up if there's any garbage in it," said a customer service representative. "But a little bit of plastic is not such a big deal."

The solution to this problem, said Ng, requires that students educate themselves about what can and can­ not be recycled.

"Otherwise it's really sad [because] we have to pay by the ton to landfill our stuff when it should be

d u m p

YASEM IN EM ORY

Recycling goes to waste.

part of the monthly pickup," she said.

Recycling is also hampered by a considerable Tack of bins on campus.

"It's enormously frustrating," said Greening McGills Michelle Lee. "Even of the little recycling that we do have on campus, it might not be get­ ting recycled at all." ■ For more information about what is recyclable at McGill, consult the ReThink Web site at www. mcgill. ca/rethink

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Romanian inmates have appealed for early release, citing fears that their wives would be unfaithful if they went without sex any longer. Under Romanian law, minor offenders are paroled early if they have "urgent family problems." Sadly, the Justice Ministry has ruled that pos­ sible adultery is not a reason for early parole. • In otner adultery-related news, the opposition party and protesters in Turkey managed to halt a propos­ al to outlaw adultery in its penal code reforms. There are concerns that the law would be unfairly applied against women. • Jacques Hurtubise will become act­ ing vice-principal research, effective September 30. He replaces current vice-princi­ ' * pal Louise Proulx. The vice-principal research is in charge of university research poli­ w y fv w ill p à p t cy, including partnerships with government, non-profit and private organizations. • A Newfoundland man whose body was identified by his sister as the victim of a train acci­ dent walked into his wake in Toronto on Thursday. • Hey, it happens more often than uA i P a w n you'd think. A woman who was thought to have died in a Paraguay supermarket fire that killed more than 400 people in August returned home for her funeral. Television news reports had mistakenly announced her name as one of the dead • Students' Society f â 'W î I c . fptw Speaker Nathan Taylor resigned last week, becoming the third person to quit that job in the past year, • If your part-time job doesn't pay as much as you'd like, you can always drive out to the countryside — rural Quebec students are being paid $25 in cash by marijuana me growers to pick and sometimes guard their plants ■ ! ! * ’’ *. ilo ft c V

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C a n ad a R esearch C h a ir in th e H istory o f B iology^

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HERIEH miianCE

opinion Fo u r m o re

y e a rs

SAM GOFFMAN

P re ju d ic e s h o u ld

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"Information is the oxygen o f the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by barbed wire, it wafts across the electrified borders. " —Ronald Reagan

I nformation is not only the communication of knowledge, it is also the basis on which glob­ al outlooks are conceived. We do not con­ sume collections of facts like automatons; we assess what we learn, infuse it with meaning, and apply it to our various experiences. Yet as we constantly acquire new information, do we merely know more, or do we also know better?

Such is the question that plagued our edito­ rial board after considering the news value of one lone protester on avenue McGill College. As our rights to peaceful student assembly become bleaker, one man's picketing becomes firmer: for the past four months, the anti-Semite at our gates has tried to convince passers-by that only Christians are "divinely permitted" to worship God, the message conveyed in his book, True Christianity and False Religions. His tenacity

How do we report on intolerance without creat­ ing a platform from which a protester can broadcast his intolerant views?

demands that he be a force to be reckoned with, yet discretion demands that we force a way past him.

It would be unconstitutional for us to deny this man his right to express himself, but as a stu­ dent body that condemns intolerance and igno­ rance, is it not our job to deny him. the attention he craves? Speaking freely is no longer a mere privilege>, but a right. It has accordingly become natural for us to say what we want, in the way we want, whenever we want. Yet our accept­ ance of what happens around us helps shape the fate of our metropolitan lifestyle: should freedom of speech abrogate the diversity that is Montreal?

Never is publicity a bad thing. The reason this man has been clinging to his sign day after day is because it draws attention to his beliefs, albeit in the form of derision and scorn. By publi­ cizing this man's efforts, whether with an article or a photograph, we are doing exactly what he wants: exposing him to more people and confirm­ ing his cause is somehow newsworthy or deserv­ ing of debate.

Of course, the fact that intolerance still sur­ rounds us is newsworthy. If we do not address this man's presence, we are essentially ignoring

^ o ff th e b o a r d

T h is

both the specific situation and the larger issue at hand. Our silence becomes almost as criminal as the man’s message. Transforming him into a taboo means giving his narrow-mindedness free reign. Some will argue that to grant the protester coverage is to answer questions many have not yet asked, risking the possibility they might'hop on his bandwagon. Our demographic, however, is rarely that impressionable—notoriously apathet­ ic perhaps, but never intentionally inconsiderate.

By reporting on this man, we are not provid­ ing him with a forum, but prompting a discourse about something that is hard, to juggle mentally.

Here's an African American, the predecessors of whom have fought relentlessly for their due rights, lashing out at another marginalized group that cannot shake its stereotypes despite the noblest of efforts. He represents one of the many reasons why minority groups have trouble uniting to gain the same access and rights as those in the major­ ity. The lesson he can teach is not one about free­ dom of speech but about social responsibility. By acknowledging the existence of prejudice near­ by, we do not endorse it, but rather debunk it. Just as serious historical research reveals the true colours of tyrants like Tomas de Torquemada, Pope Urban II and Hitler, and university archives highlight the advantages of campus protests over once contentious issues like apartheid, proper acknowledgment of warped judgment, however naive, provides individuals with the knowledge, and thus the freedom, to make informed choices about what they choose to believe.

Still, an important difficulty remains: how do we report on intolerance without creating a plat­ form from which this man can broadcast his intol­ erant views? In some cases, exposure and discus­ sion are warranted. In this instance, our resolute protester is the sole advocate of his cause: in four months, no one has joined him in his unintelligi­ ble crusade. In fact, just last week, two girls began picketing against him. His is not a break­ ing story, of hate crimes and effective propagan­ da, but an early warning radar. We may soon need countermeasures against his kind, thus legit­ imizing an exchange of ideas on the topic. Until then, however, portrayals and photographs might just send the message that such public displays are acceptable, even successful. A picture may say a thousand words but in this case, not having one says more.Yet if information is oxygen, how do we forget how to breathe? ■

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y fellow Americans living in Canada, I am here to tell you about a very special man. He is an expression of my hopes, my dreams, my very desires. Without this man, my ■life would be extremely different. It would be dull and unexciting and miserable. Who is this man to which I refer? His name is President.

President George W. Bush.

I realize that, in Canada, things can be different. People some­ times hang on the left side of the fence. They occasionally have mistak­ en ideas about just what it means to be an American. Maybe my com­ patriots here have encountered some of these kinds of feelings living in Montreal. Maybe folks are persuading you to send in your absentee ballot with the other guy marked in or punched. Well, I am here to set things right. I am here to tell you why you should vote for President George W. Bush in November.

Firstly, President Bush is a Man's man. By Man's man, I don't mean that he belongs to someone named Man, or that he's another species.

No, I am referring to the fact that he knows exactly how to handle trou­ ble. He knows how to deal with problems and to show lesser people who's boss. He is a guy I would always like to have by my side in a tight spot. That is why the Terrorists are so afraid of President Bush. They see him standing up for what is good and right in the world, donning his intimidating boots and tight blue jeans with that shiny belt buckle, and they think, "There is really no point in trying to pull anything over this man." And they are right. That is what I,mean by Man's man.

President Bush has grand ideas for our beloved nation. He is con­ stantly pushing the rules and expanding the possibilities. Let me tell you what I mean. Imagine a box. It does not have to be a very special box,

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They see him standing up for w hat is good and right in the w orld, donning his intimidating boots and tight blue jeans with that shiny belt buckle. just an ordinary box, and it can be any colour you want. Inside this box are all of the ideas that have dominated our country for the past 12 years except for the last four—all of the old, stale ideas that don't work.

Now, imagine outside the box. That is where President Bush's mind is located.

Let us now take a look at the other guy, John Kerry. Kerry, reverse­ ly, is not a Man's man, he is a girlie man. The Terrorists look at him and think, "Now, there is someone we can work with!" In fact, plenty of evi­ dence exists that says that if you vote for John Kerry, you will actually be voting for the Terrorists. Surprised? Don't be. You see, his advisors, as well as himself, all include people who want to help the Terrorists, and who want to change America to suit them instead of us Americans. In the Senate, Kerry voted against various laws that would harm the Terrorists because of his secret sympathy for them, and his web of con­ tacts and helpers lead him directly to his buddies.

Confused? Don't worryl You're not the only one. Plenty of people don't understand the details. Just use this graph to help you realize what I'm talking about: Osama —> Saddam —> The Terrorists —> John Kerry. President Bush, on the other hand, looks like this: Osama —> ; Saddam - > The Terrorists < - PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH! As you can see, President Bush is the one to choose to lead our country for four more years. Remember, as you put your ballot in the mailbox, check George W. Bush for President. I hope this has persuad­ ed you that he is obviously the best choice. Because if you have some kind of other argument, I am just not going to believe you ■

tr u e JENNIFER JETT

The day you roll out of bed and out the door, looking for a behind you will never leave your side. sandwich but not looking in the mirror, is the day you run into Friends visiting from the States may not know they need everyone you know.

Canadian dollars, but they know where Winston Churchill's is.

Contact lenses never go in when you're in a hurry.

The three radio stations you listen to will eventually play the Day or night, if you flip through channels long enough, you same cringe-inducing song—say, Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell" — will find some configuration of Law & Order. simultaneously.

Mice are adorable, even at 3am when they're scurrying Cosmopolitan could print the exact same issue two months in a row and no one would notice.

If you get lost on a backpacking trip, come to a river that If you get lost on a backpacking trip, come to a river no one mentioned, and cross it anyway, you are probably still that no one mentioned, and cross it anyway, you are heading in the wrong direction. probably still heading in the w rong direction.

Even if you carefully lunge over the lap of the passenger sleeping next to you on a plane—the man who unapologetically claimed your aisle seat before you boarded —he will wake up across the gate at O'Hare Airport, where you are stranded anyway and will not appreciate your consideration. overnight.

Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice is much more enjoyable The dead ringer for Gael Garcia Bernal you were hoping when it comes with a large measure of Colin Firth. to run into again at that club will not be there, but the 45-yearAfter high school, 9am becomes the new 8am. old lecher whose come-on consists of wordlessly sidling up Even if they made cameos, your friends do not want to hear

about your dreams the night before. . Each year your reasons for keeping a ninth-grade art sketch­ book become less clear, especially since it is filled with home­ work assignments you bribed your more artistically blessed friends to complete, including the still life of eggs. That's right, most will experience that moment in their life when they find it too challenging to draw an egg.

It is impossible for a 5'4" girl—okay, 5 '3 ''—to find nice-fit­ ting pants that are not five inches too long.

There is no point in bringing a video camera on a family vacation since most of the footage will be black, owing to your father's habit of leaving the lens cap on.

Reporting the gravity of the Sudan situation becomes a farce when the CNN ticker reads "Britney Spears not pregnant, rep says."

Watching the fast-food industry exposé Supersize Me may actually bring on a craving for French fries.

You are probably reading this as a diversion in class—real­ ly now, what else are campus papers for? ■

the mcgill tribune j 219.04 | opinion

Sacred cows

IV Ic G ill T r ib u n e Curiosity delivers.

Editor - in -C hief

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M anaging E ditors

Katherine Fugler James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N ews Editors

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca Features Editors

Liz Allemang Brody Brown features@tribune.mcgill.ca A&E E ditors

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca S ports Edto r s

9

Heroes they are not jeff.roberts@elf.mcgill.ca

JEFF ROBERTS

e don't need another hero. Well, at least not from the realm of sports. In the threeweek period that featured the Olympics, the Canadian Open, and the World Cup of Hockey, this country was spellbound by too many so-called heroes. Using this column to take pot shots at golfer Mike Weir or what's-his-name from Athens may seem mean-spirited, but the recent cult of athlete worship has reached such ludicrous lev­ els that the time has come to knock these “heroes" off their podiums.

Athletes are not heroes. Many display physi­ cal courage and an extraordinary capacity for work and self-discipline. They often show singleminded dedication and ferocious loyalty to their compatriots. Unfortunately, the context in which they exhibit these qualities is a circumscribed one; their actions do not have an impact on any larger social good.

Watch a golf tournament or, say, the hammer throw. Strength, agility, and concentration are there in abundance. All the same, it is impossible to claim that there is anything inherently noble or use ful in strolling on a fairway or tossing hunks of metal.

Should we chastise athletes for working in a profession that is largely amoral and self-indulgent?

W

Not really— few of us choose to work in jobs devoted to a greater good. No, the problem instead isthat, unlike most working stiffs, prominent athletes are in a position to influence society for the better but choose not to do so. Figures like Weir and Vince Carter hold the nation in thrall, and reporters pant to hear their every word. And what do they tell us? To patronize Nike and Gatorade.

They remain resolutely apolitical and self-interested, never discussing anything substantive such as child poverty, spousal abuse, or the gross misdistribution of wealth that they themselves exemplify. The result is that their dialogue, heard by millions, speaks only of playing a full 60 minutes and satisfying that deep down body thirst. To say something— any­ thing— meaningful might risk losing their next mil­ lion in endorsement earnings.

The silence and political ignorance of athletes is not surprising. The rinks and fields on which their personalities are forged are marked by narrow focus and a suppression of individual identity. The same qualities that give rise to determination and team spirit within the game transform into igno­ rance and thuggish conformity outside of it. Further, the very language of sports deeply inhibits broad thinking or political engagement. That language is one of clichés, expressed drearily and relentlessly

by athletes and the journalists that cover them.

Each game, each team, each player is described with the same dozen or so stock phrases that are repeated endlessly: "Good bunch of guys,” "Gotta keep pushing and good things will happen," "Give it 110 per cent." With these phrases, ath­ letes interpret their world and keep themselves fixed within it. Unfortunately, as is the case in any totalitarian society, stale language rapidly leads to stale ideas. It is little wonder,.then, that athletes have little to say about the state of the world.

This does not, alas, stop the general public from lionizing them. In a celebrityemad culture, stu­ pefied fans are happy to overlook their favourite athlete's propensity for loutishness, naked greed, sexual assault or steroid use. Sadder still is the degree to which the actions of real heroes in our society— underpaid teachers, dedicated parents, working-class military kids— go unnoticed in the ubiquitous roar of the play-b^play.

The sight of our rowers pulling toward gold or Shane Doan lifting Team Canada to victory was gripping, exhilarating and beautiful. In short, these moments were entertaining. Their performances tit­ illate us in the same way as do those of Hans Solo or the demoiselles at Chez Parée. Athletes are mar­ velous entertainers. They are not heroes. ■

Swift kick

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca

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When the hockey net stands em pty

J c jeremy.morris@mail.mcgill.ca

e are now a few days into the hockey strike to end all hockey strikes, and dare I say the country is experiencing an upheaval of epic proportions. Coast to coast, tel­ evision sets lie dormant as husbands are actually speaking to their families. For the first time in a generation, men can be seen hugging their sons (for reasons other than when Junior scores on that loser Bill Harcourts son's team] and discussing something other than the old team or the weather.

Mikey Campbell, 17, of Sarnia, Ontario, has experienced firsthand the new-found energy of his father Ed. "Before, my old man would just scream, 'Hey, out of the way, Sundin's in front of the net,' and try to zap me with the clicker box.

So to get his attention, I started torching mailbox­ es. Now we play Scrabble together.” And the same happy ending goes for the rest of the Campbell family, including Mrs. Maureen Campbell. "Before, Ed would just sit there and complain,about what a big fat idiot Don Cherry is and now that there's no more Hockey Night in Canada, we screw like Newfies. Thanks, Gary Bettman."

Yes, across the nation, Canadians have taken up a plethora of alternative activities. In

W

Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca

-I > { 1

JEREMY MORRIS

Surrey, BC, the men have banded together to build homes for the homeless— "I haven't felt so much personal satisfaction since Toronto didn't get the Olympics," says one— while in Moose Jaw,_ entirefamilies are seen taking walks at night to get a bit of fresh air.

Disgusted by the greed, the amateur Calgary Coyotes hockey team abandoned the sport alto­ gether to devote themselves to writing the great Canadian novel. Defenceman Rick "Boom Boom" Reed put it succinctly: "Me and the boys got to thinking that Gabrielle Roy really touches our hearts and how come no one writes something so pretty nowadays?" Suddenly, the rival Edmonton Prairie Ice Dogs appeared on the ice, and their Captain Eddie "I'll shut your hole with my fist" Girard promptly proclaimed, "Hey, everyone knows that Mazo de La Roche is the most accom­ plished early 20th century Québécois writer... fags." At this a large brawl broke out, and only ended when Boom Boom got five minutes for beating Eddie silly with his word processor.

But not everyone has taken the strike so kind­ ly. Large gangs of malcontents roam the streets looking for solitary professional athletes upon whom they can vent their anger. Only last week,

Ty Domi was cornered by a mob and strung up, stripped naked and spanked till he cried like a lit­ tle girl— the nation is a better place for it.

In Jonquière, a strange case occurred last Friday, when Theodore Charbonneau, an elderly mechanic, became possessed by the spirit of the late Rocket Richard. Charbonneau/Richard said, "Dhis iz a warning you fou-lz. When I play dhe hoc-key, I get paid as money per semaine by the Montreal Canadien: one caisse of Labatt 50, 200 joe Louis (I 'ad kids), tree baked hams and a freezer (and dhat was a gift from Mr. Duplessis)."

Mr. Charbonneau then spoke in tongues about tirs aux buts against dhe cursed Maple Leafs.

Yet, as Canadians, we must not give in to our baser impulses. Already there are cries for the federal government to nationalise the sport. "Let Martin pay for it, only old people need health care," I hear some people say. Nonsense. If we are to be considered a country of worth, then we cannot run to the federal government every time we have a problem. We must solve it ourselves.

And hey, who knows what we will be able to accomplish now that we are unencumbered by the shackles of the stick and ice skates. An operetta about curling, dare I suggest? ■

C ollaborators

KevinAfshari Shivangini Arora Dave Barber Dan Butler Robert Church Patrick Fok Angela Gianotti Joseph Gilgoff James Gotowiec Amanda Greenman Heather Haq Lawrence Panthea Lee

Melanie MacDonald MiriamMartz Jeremy Morris Julie Fbters Melissa Price Jeff Roberts Scott Sameroff Max Shapiro Lheryl Tyler Daryl Wile Josh Wilner

T ribune O ffices

Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3480 McTavish, Montreal QC Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish, Montreal QC H3A 1V2 Tel. 514.3986806 Fax. 514.398.7490

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E ai c 3 JD *C -a & o

W e publish news, even if it's sad

As a don at Douglas Hall, where a student was sadly lost just over a week ago, I am somewhat disgusted and offended by the recent behaviour your paper has displayed. Both of your articles regarding our situation were not only vague, but also selective in the truth you wished to reveal.

Your first article, "Death in Douglas" (08.09.04), came out against our requests, and seemed to ask for a reaction of fear instead of one of compassion for those touched by the death. In your last article, "The Politics of Death" (14.09.04), under the guise of a philosophical debate you mentioned the idea of indif­ ference. I can firmly tell you that the McGill community offered anything but an attitude of indifference towards this situation in the last week. Never before have I seen a community pull togeth­ er so quickly to come to the support of those affected. I am awed and honoured to work with such an efficient and caring team.

Instead of searching for answers in order to have a juicy article, I ask that you please respect the family that has just lost a daughter, and the McGill students that have just lost a friend

and a neighbour. Yes, the natural instinct is the need to know, but other human instincts are compassion and sensitivity.

—Kara Fletcher, U1 Arts A lw ays plan ahead, M r. President

After reading many articles regarding the resignation of for­ mer Students' Society President Alam Alii, I find it irresponsible and ludicrous that fingers are pointed at the big bad university.

The fact that a student leader has the audacity to complain about an issue that was brought about by himself is disgraceful.

If students are electing their future student representatives, then common sense suggests that the candidates must ensure sat­ isfactory student standing can be maintained throughout their entire term. The administration does not dictate who can sit in office, but who can be an undergraduate student.

Maybe next time, a little foresight (i.e. in March) and seri­ ous planning rather than feeble attempts in August will enable a president to serve their entire 12-month term.

—Anonymous

The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University, in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society All submissions including letters, Dispatch Box, Parry & Thrust and R^ction^n^nemud ^ncbde^œntributor?name, program and year, and contact information. Submissions may be sent by email to oped@tribune.mcaill.ca Any material |udge3 by the Tribune Pub cottons SocteV to be iSous sexist racist homophobic, or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written by the edito al board.

Afother o ^io ^ are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or itsstaff. Please recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions are available for $30.00 per year.

10 opinion | 219.04 | the mcgill tribune Ain't nothing but a P thang

The funnest colum n ever Not the M an's fault JAMES GOTOWIEC

P

oor Alam Alii. He was doing such a good job as Students' Society president, but had to resign because the SSMU Constitution declared him ineligible for the posi­ tion.

Alii was recently interviewed by the Daily, in which he (almost pre­ dictably) blamed everyone's favourite villain— the university administration.

He said that it sets a bad precedent "to have the administration dictate who can sit in office." But the admin­ istration simply decides who has undergraduate student status. The Constitution states that executives must be undergraduates. This is a good sys­ tem— it ensures that the guy protesting in front of the Roddick gates cannot become SSMU president.

Alii feels that if the folks in the James Building had students' interests at heart, they would allow him to serve out his term. This would set a ter­ rible precedent. What would stop a future candidate that is about to grad­ uate from running for office anyway?

Upon winning, he or she would simply apply to have an extended student sta­ tus, claiming that the students had mandated the victor to a term in office.

No, for once it is SSMU policy that needs changing. To prevent this situation from ever occurring again, SSMU council has to amend the elec- SSS:;: tion bylaws and make any person run­ ning for an executive position provide written proof that he or she will remain eligible for the position throughout his or her term.

Alii should not be blaming ihe Man. He should be apologizing to the entire undergraduate population for blowing it big time, and for leav­ ing SSMU without a president for the second year in a row. ■

James Gotowiec, U I Science, is a news writer.

P a R K HUMOUR Public Relations lO l

PANTHEA LEE

R

ecently, a girl in one of my classes did a presentation on punctuation. She explained the philosophy of writer Lynne Truss, who likens the proper usage of punctuation to good manners.

While the rest of the class twiddled their thumbs, I felt like jumping out of my seat, raising my fist and crying, "She speaks the truth! Puncrock on, sista!" Ah, the curse of the nerd.

You see, I'm not a judgmental person. Do you cheat on your taxes? Hast thou coveted thy neighbour's wife? It's all right, I won't think any less of you. But if you forget the comma before a coordinating conjunction that separates two independent clauses, I have but two words for you: watch out.

We've all had this task: "Put two commas in this sentence, 'Woman without her man is noth­ ing.'" Depending on where the punctuation was placed, the sentence would read differently and you would be branded as either a male pig or a grammatically anal feminist. The exercise, however, illustrates a vital point— punctuation plays a very important a role in shaping our understanding of the world. Am I overreacting?

Hardly. Yes, I realize that having been an editor wrong," Word leers, "those words don't exist!" and having memorized sections of the Canadian Isn't it bad enough that every time I type my Press Style Guide may make me a bit of a kook; name this program squiggles me? Not just my but have some sense, people! I cringe at writing, but me as a person. All the other mem­ Random Capitalization. More than one excla­ bers of my family— Michael, Jennifer, Jessica and mation mark makes my blood boil, especially Trevor— are all people according to Word; but when one period would have sufficed!!! And, of no, not Panthea. Is there any justice in this course, nothing irks me more than those that world? But I digress. expend plenteous amounts of time employing the My point is this: today, I went to a movie services of a thesaurus in the pursuit of amending and I had fun. Next year, I am going to Cancun their language into a form riddled with superflu­ and that will be even funner. And when I get mar­ ous and grandiloquent rogue idioms— all in the ried in five years, that will be the funnest ever. wrong contexts— in an attempt to sound eloquent Don't you see? Fun, funner and funnest just make and perspicacious. Honey, no one is buying it. sense. Who wants to have "more fun"? That is You would think that as such a stickler for so... ho-hum. Yet, as I keep typing, Word contin­ punctuation, I would carry my respect for the ues squiggling. Type "Microsoft” on your comput­ sanctity of the English language into all its er. See what happens? Get off your high horse, realms. I only wish that were the case. Oh, woe Billy G., "Microsoft" isn't a word and yet your is me, for I have a dirty secret: I am a staunch holier-than-thou program doesn't squiggle that. supporter of the word funner. There, I said it.

Biased much?

But it does not end there. I also— lexicogra­ I am not advocating the bastardization of phers, don't hurt me— use the word funnest. And the English language. I see myself, rather, as a as I write this piece on my computer, Microsoft visionary. So vive la révolution! Now, if you'll Word taunts me, putting that red squiggly line excuse me, I must run off to my funner engage­ underneath two of my favourite words. "You're ments. ■

Bird watching

daniel.butler@mail. mcgill. ca

Birds o f a fe a th er flock to g e th e r

Cancer Support Groups

DAN BUTLER

S

o, you've been back at school for a few weeks you. You get up one fine morning, walk downstairs to now and whether you're a first year or more in the communal dining hall, get your breakfast and sit the range of old bastard, like me, I bet you're down at a table with half a dozen or so of your sopretty glad that the opening barrage of stressors (such called friends (importantly, they're all female). as every prof telling you that you must buy the $ 100 Hearing one of them mention a stomach ache, you textbook they wrote even though it only has only three unthinkingly crack a witticism using the words, chapters in it that you need for the course, or lining "Women have a lower threshold for pain." Without up for 17 hours for a beer in the OAP tent only to find any warning, you are subjected, to a torrents of ver­ out that they've run out) and complications are over bal abuse (too graphic for readers' dear ears) and a so that you can settle down for the smooth ride hail of food from all directions. towards Christmas.

What did you do wrong? Simple. Girls living However, if you think that you're ever likely to together, menstruate together. spend time in the company of multiple females dur­ On top of that kernel of knowledge, there is the ing your hours of study, leisure, or pleasure, listen up. scientific fact that when women flock together in I have something to bring to your attention, especial­ groups of four or more females, the conversation will ly for you fresh-off-the-boat-from-naivesville UO males go into a particular non-male territory. living in rez.

Weight issues (too fat, too skinny, hating their Girls in groups are a dangerous proposition. Yes ankles...), their unfulfilling love lives, people they I know that we've all fantasized about being around don't like, places they'd rather be and the terrifying a group of attractive girls, perhaps soccer players, Johnny Depps that they'd rather be dating. who possibly all live together in your apartment build­ For a guy, all of these conversations pose very ing and maybe even find Dan... I mean you, the real danger (especially the latter, if you are the current reader, substantially more appealing than all the other boyfriend). guys in McConnell put together (okay, so maybe this So lads, this semester, remember the Fresh was just my fantasy!). But, here ye, here ye, it isn't so Prince's advice for a more chillaxed time. When frol­ straightforward in the real world. . icking in groups, "Girls of the world ain't nothing but Imagine, if you will, the following scenario, \ trouble, so just remember my rhyme and stay the hell because it's happened to me, and it will happen to away." ■

W

e may not be public relations experts—oh, the joys of hid­ ing behind the "student" moniker— but we do often find our­ selves in public, engaged in relations where PR is as foreign a concept as the effective feather ruffling of bureaucratic McGill. In our humble attempt to save the world fromthe great oblivion of imper­ tinence, we propose the following tips, extricated both from our own experiences with campus riffraff and from the charming connoisseurs of the communications world. f. Don't talk with your mouth full. It seems obvious, but it is indeed above the heads of those fewwho engage in pretentious after­ noon snacking while talking on the phone. We urge these hirelings to remember that PRisthe art of promoting a favourable relationshipwith the public, not estranging themwith halLmasticated mouthfuls that bear no semblance to rational speech. According to PRguru Dan Crowther, you're a pro if you make journalists want to call you, but you're the rex of "bonehead mistakes" if your deficient information and tardy press releases fail to win them over.

2. Remind yourself that all publicity is good. If you're a smart alec, you'll generate free publicity by wielding PR gimmicks to your advantage. But be forewarned: the media is not your personal spin doctor. You're responsible for attracting the right kind of attention; make likea snake— that to which we are blind shall not hurt us. As Sir Suck-Up-Master, aka Ivy Lee, an anthracite coal industry representa­ tive, said of his PRoffice in 1906: "This is not a secret press bureau.

o p in io n

1

Wanted: Opinionated bas­ tards to write us letters. Lots of letters. The especially anal can also send one-time Dispatch Boxes. Email us. oped@tribune.mcgill.ca

All our work isdone in the open." A littleinaccuracy goes a long way.

3. Be ready to manage a crisis. We're not talking the sponta­ neous, inexplicable asphyxiation of all upper administrators— go on! — but rather the occasional serious dramas that merit careful fore­ thought. Our advice? Parrot the Girl Guide and be prepared. Read up on community relations so you know how to pacify the media dur­ ing and after the upheaval. When in doubt, ask: what would good of Rudi Giuliani do?

4. Bat thy lashes at reporters. Lay bare that horrid assumption that all media are out to get you, especially lowly student journalists who are too self-interested to notice. As Ohio big shot Bill Patterson confirmed, a nocomment attitude towards the press is PR's cardinal sin— it makes you look secretive and unconcerned. Be honest with us and we won't twist your words as we see fit in our amateurish oped sections, which, incidentally, are not the same as news sections, as many dumb clucks wrongly believe. When campus tittle-tattlegets you down, hire a personal media trainer to help bulk up the part of your brain causing you to spew out inane half-baked responses.

5. Freak not at failure. You want to cry and screech like a cat in heat, hmm? Get a hold of yourself. You're bigger than that. You're in PR. Analyse the negative public opinion you garnered, devise a nifty little media kit and voilà, you're ready for battle. But don't show your teeth just yet. Deep breathing is the key. You'll get those media bas­ tards in the end. ■

CHATTERBOX

Reading into Max

c a m p u s

Lit professor an alyzes self SI L H O U E T T E

Local rehab for the cynical self Art of Living cultivates co n tentm ent LIZ ALLEMANG & BRODY BROWN

It's really easy tor us to be jaded, sarcastic, and outrageous­ ly inappropriate, but our wicked tendencies are paralyzed when faced with a group that seems to have genuinely pure intentions.

As cynics, we wanted to dislike the Art of Living, a group that describes its actions as "beautiful" and reveals their deep desire to blanket the world in a snuggly comforter of peace, love and happiness.

What kind of lives would we lead if we lacked pressure and stress, didn't tear into ribs like Dahmer did his victims, went out sans cigs and couldn't drink to the point of forgetting our own addresses? Apparently, happy ones. Sigh.

YASEMINEMORY Professor Dorsinville: kn o w n to freq u en t "techno squares."

N o ritual sacrifices here

It seems unnatural for a person, let alone a campus club, many members strong, to be so seriously content. Something has to be wrong with them, right? Some kind of Stepford Wife Syndrome or excessive guzzling out of a tainted communal punch bowl? Messages from the mothership via implanted microchips?

Alas, they aren't a comet-chasing cult, there is no catch, and if you join you won't be selling your soul or signing over all of your material possessions.

The Art of Living Club has existed at McGill for two years— half that time as an official club— and offers courses, discussions and workshops.

Their prescribed philosophy of self-responsibility and detox­ ification is becoming popular among members.

"It's yoga, it's not just stretching. It's a way of life, a philos­ ophy," explains Antoine Tinawi, McGill alum and Art of Living enthusiast.

"I feel more centred, friendly, happy," confesses Sudha Venkatramanan, club member and masters student in Human Nutrition and Dietetics.

"We learn a lot of different techniques that make us happi­ er, more energetic, focused," adds fellow member Mark Maby, a masters student in Secondary Language Education. "Doing Art of Living and the different techniques has made my anxiety go down."

YASEMINEMORY G e ttin g d ow n , dirty and spiritual in spandex.

teaches inmates and staff techniques to reduce drug depend­ ence and violence, while Emergency Relief provides food, sup­ plies, shelter, trauma counseling and stress-relief workshops in the aftermath of disaster.

Though the Art of Living Club McGill hosts service projects of a similar nature, their focus emphasizes the benefits of yoga and meditation, including stress reduction, relaxation, and improved focus. One of the refreshing aspects of McGill's Art of Living is its true accessibility: membership transcends ethnicity, economic status, age and gender. The club leaders strive to pro­ vide an atmosphere in which all feel comfortable.

"Everyone is welcome, always. We are totally inclusive, says Tinawi.

The club's weekly meetings are anything but typical. At their Thursday evening gatherings in Shatner, you're likely to see an array of students on blue yoga mats, struggling not to fall over while doing the "downward dog. Regardless of who you are or how much time you have on your hands, there is a multitude of sanctioned activities to keep, you busy. Contortion ain t your thing? Guided meditation classes and a six-day long Art of Living It's a party and everyone's invited!

The club is a branch of the Art of Living Foundation, an inter­ Workshop are among the more popular activities. If living is an national non-profit, educational and humanitarian non-govern­ art, than these guys have mastered it. (Sorry, we had to.) ■ mental organization. Presently in 144 countries, the foundation Upcoming events: Tuesday, September 21, 7pm— \Nor\d is a larger outlet for implementing ideals and principles mandat­ ed by founder His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Though his ener­ Peace Day meet-and-greet organized jointly with the Université de gy is occasionally diverted, having to meet and hobnob with Montréal and Concordia chapters in room H-4 11 of Concordia world leaders like George W. Bush and the Dalai Lama, ' University Hall Building. October: weekend field trip to the Art of Shankar concentrates his effort on charitable projects. Working Living Yoga Retreat Centre in La Mauricie, Quebec. Fall: the Art in conjunction with the United Nations and the World Health of Living Yoga Rave, a tobacco and alcohol-free event, is also in Organization, Art of Living focuses on international and local out­ the works for the upcoming months. For more information, e-mail reach programs. Initiatives have various goals: Prison SMART artofliv@ssmu.mcgill. ca

WHAT...

If I weren't a professor I... wouldn't have the opportunity to answer your questions, ah....

My pet peeve in the classroom is... audio-visual equipment with a mind of its own.

My best quality as a professor is... not taking myself too seri­ ously while taking my work seriously.

My worst quality as a professor is... to forget the difference between the two.

I am most proud of... my students, seriously.

I chose Caribbean literature as a field of research and teach­ ing because... as John Donne said, No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main."

The last book I read was... Posts and Pasts. No, it wasnt about cereal, but a very serious Theory of Postcolonialism by Alfred Lopez (no relation toJennifer!).

An overrated modernist author would be... an overstatement!

An underrated postcolonial author is... (seriously!) William Shakespeare! The Tempest has inspired quite a number of post­ colonial writers because of the colonizer-colonized dialectic per­ ceived in the encounter between Prospero and Caliban.

My favourite vacation destination is... a small village down the St. Lawrence: Kamouraska. Everyone should have access to "a clean, well-lit place."

The difference between a good writer and a great writer is... not a writer's concern. So much depends on individual taste, canon formation and marketing strategies....

My most treasured possession is... memory. I always liked Faulkner's description of the old southerners "to whom all the past is not a diminishing road but, instead, a huge meadow which no winter ever quite touches..."

The work of Derek Walcott inspires me because... it is, among other things, about memory borne by the senses.

My favourite place to eat on the McGill campus is... a little nook on the new "techno square" up campus. Love the sound of Mr. Tomlinson's waterfall!

My favourite book as a child was... Alexandre Dumass The Three Musketeers. Honest!

—compiled by Liz Allemang

WHO...

WHEN...

WHERE...

CONTACT...

CO

First General Meeting

Union for Gender Empowerment

Wednesday, 6pm

Shatner 433

mcgillwomensunion@yahoo.ca

0 0

SSMU by^lection debate

McGill Debating Union

Tuesday, Sept. 21,7pm

Shatner 301-North'

paulerlkveel@hotmail.com

ENVIROFEST

Environment Students' Society

Sept. 22 and 23, 12-8pm

Field in front of Burnside

Dabrodkey@yahoo.com/2 86-9842

Wine &Cheese

History Students' Association

Sept. 23, 5:3O8:30pm

Arts 160 Council Room

n/a

Waxing party*

Hairy Back Club

Sept. 27, 9pm

Leacock basement

fuzzybears@gmail.com

Second general meeting*

Preserve the art of candle making

Sept. 26, 7:30pm

Shatner 71 1

avidflamers@hotmail.com

Meet and greet*

Spork Awareness Project (SAP)

Sept 25-28, all day

Arts steps

forklovesspoon@yahoo ca

Decoration project*

Amateur Interior Designers

Sept. 24, 6pm

Entrance of Redpath

satinandvelour@aol com

Party*

Skittles

24-7

Inyour mouth

tastethatrainbowfool@hotmai1com

CO

13

CL

E

Okay, so we're starting to lose it here. There's original and then there's desperate. Don't make us cry. Advertise everything (even your dirty sock sale) in our calendar. Pleeease!

< o

u

Advertise your event! For only a toonie, you can get a listing in the print and on-line editions of the TriL Drop by the SSMU Office (Brown Student Building, Suite 1200) to pick up a form. Deadlines are Fridays at 3:30pm. For more information, cal! 398.6789 or e-mail coiendar@tnbune.mcgill.ca

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CAMPUS F A S H IO N F A U X -P A S

when your face is emblazoned on a cheap canvas sack, toted by a serious­ ly academic fashionista. Though we did get the impression, while scouting the endless sea of Guevara tees, bags and hats across campus, that his repre­ senting peeps know nothing of his beliefs, you gotta admit that he looks better than Castro would on a hoodie.

T o m o r r o w ’s p r o f e s s i o n a l s a p p l y t o d a y !

A p p l y o n -lin e !

O M S A S w w w .o u a c.o n .ca /o m sa s/ O ntario M e d ic a l School A p p lic a tio n Service Septem ber IS, 2004 Last d a y for registering for on-line applications O ctober 1, 2004 Application deadline

On the one hand, this double­ dose of denim doesn't match— and there are few things that frighten us more than head to toe co-ordina­ tion. On the other hand, the two-piece denim suit with..: mercy, we're so excited we can barely keep from faint­ ing... the cuffs rolled up. And we still can't figure out if we're more turned on by the fact that it seems tailored for the individual or if it's because he reminds us of the creepy guy who used to hang out in our old high-school parking lot in his 1974 Le Sabre and was always good for a ride home.

O LS A S w w w .o u a c.o n .ca /o lsa s/ O ntario Law School A p plicatio n Service Novem ber 1, 2004 Application deadline— first-year M ay 2, 2005 Application d ead line— upper years

TEAS w w w .o u a c .o n .c a /te a s / Teacher Education Application Service Decem ber 1, 2004 Application deadline

O R P A S w w w .o u a c .o n .c a /o rp a s / O ntario R ehabilitation Sciences Programs A p plicatio n Service (Audiology, O ccup atio nal Therapy! Physical Therapy/ Physiotherapy, Speech-Language Pathology) January 17, 2005 Application deadline

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the mcgill tribune | 21.9.04 | images 13 The horror! The hor­ ror! Just when you thought it was a beautiful day, you round the corner and see this. Separately the bum-flashing mini, chunky boots (with socks, baby!) and fishnets make our stomachs turn.

Together, well, let's just say that our friends had to inter­ vene as we tried to burn out.our retinas with a makeup mirror.

Kudos on the knap­ sack and purse combo, though— we hear bag ladies are coming back in style.

You love NY, and we love slathering ourselves in Nutella and pressing our bodies up against cold metal surfaces while singing Clay Aiken. We have a feeling,, though, that your T-shirt is more succinct than ours might be.

A t th is p rice , m o m m y c a n c a ll w h e n e v e r s h e w a n ts . Y o u s is s y .

Celebritize yo'self!

TELUS TO TELUS 25

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1/2 doz. surefire ways to make yourself super-fly.

1. Backlighting and soft lighting is a must.

Don't face the sun or allow it to beat down on your sweaty t-zone—the section of your face that gets so shiny toy plane operators have been mistaking it for a landing strip. Just say no to fluorescent lighting.

2. Accent. Accentuate it if you've already got one, snag someone else's if you're underprivileged.

3 . Posse. Get one. Do not assemble a gang of peeps who look better than you.

Make sure you get the token ones too, that's important: the athletic-exotic-looking girl, the bigger guy who bob mean, the linguist— but hello, it's imperative that they aren't more attractive and more interesting than you.

4 . Know the weather. This way you'll avoid the drowned rat look in a down­ pour but will also be able to shimmy out of an oversized sweater when the sun comes out and the skimpy clothes are needed.

5. Do not drink pop through a straw. As if you didn't know it causes major bloating.

6. Get your roommate to return your mes­ sages and record them. Personal assis­ tants are so for people with super-taxing schedules and even if you're noLso-busy, you should at least appear to be.

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Some girls can get away with wearing almost anything.

Anything, that is, but the shortjacket. This sin, my brethren, is unforgivable. An insult to busty little-people with disproportion­ ate arms, everywhere.

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LIZ ALLEMANG & BRODY BROWN

Is it hard to be recognized all the time?

N a e e m

N

icole Kidman had a miscarriage after splitting from Tom? Awesome!

Halle Berrys husband is a sex addict? Yeehaw! Donatella Versaces coke habit is so out of control that she had to check into rehab?

Hooray!. Why do we have an insatiable hunger for other peoples tawdry details? Ideally, we'd restrict personal situations and mini­ tragedies to our own inner circles, serving that aloof concept known as respect for privacy. Instead, we are gossip-hungry rumour-mongers. We take satisfaction in the misfortunes of the rich and famous because we like to see these built-up gicffits as human; we want to know that they too can fail and make mistakes. It's as if we renege on giving themtheir god-like status, tearing themoff their pedestals to remind everyone that we were the ones who made them.

"The celebrity exists above the real world, in the realm of symbols that gain and lose value like commodities on the stock market," explains P. David Marshall in his book Celebrity and Power (University of Minnesota Press, 1997). Though celebs are placed on altars like idols, they have little control over how much we value them. Charles L. Ponce De Leon, in his book Self-Exposure (The University of North Carolina Press, 20G2) says of Chauncey M. Depew, chairman of the New York Central Railroad and one of the first American celebs, "His celebrity hinged on his relationship with the press. Though Depew was conscious of the many ways a man could make himself visible in the public sphere, he recognized that the press was the pivotal institution that determined the degree and nature of his visibility."

So what's the delight we find in a famous stranger's downfall? Do we seek a sadistic pleasure watching themgrieve and suffer in front of everyone? And why do we hold the double standard: so guarded about our own lives yet so eager to tear open the blinds that provide the celebrity with a tiny amount of ever-endangered privacy ç From the products "To observers, fans' obsession with Hollywood trivia may they use, have seemed frivolous, even childish. Who cared whether Clark the restau­ Gable was divorcing his wife or whether Ginger Rogers dyed rants they her hair? But, to fans, this information was of the utmost impor­ frequent, tance. Since they wanted to confirm their idol's offscreen exis­ the books t h e y tence and know how he or she behaved away from the camera, "read," the fans were forced to turn to writers and journalists. Because they designers were never able to go behind the scenes, fans had to rely on the they wear, accounts and testimonies of those who could." the candi­ Movie Crazy. Samantha Barbas (Palgrave, 2001 ) dates they

support and the diets they try, we want to know the mysterious ingredients that make celebrity lifestyle so different from our own. But why are we taking our cues from these people?

"The stars' luxurious lifestyles would seem to distance the film celebrities from the everyday experiences of their audience," explains Marshall. "The masses are by their very nature psychologically immature and thus are drawn to the magics of these larger-than-life personalities in the same way children identify with and implic­ itly trust their parents. Mass society has produced a people peculiarly susceptible to these forms of manipulation."

Despite the flurry of serious issues surrounding us, we are still consumed by the trivial. The Bennifer split, Margate's eating disorder, Brad and Jen's family plan­ ning, Paris Hilton's sex tape, Winona Ryder's retail technique, Whitney Houston's drug problem. Is being starstruck really worth the amount of time and effort many surrender to it? Why do otherwise rational and responsible people get caught up in the politics ofJessica Simpson-isms? There is nothing outstanding about these indi­ viduals' lives besides the questionable wealth and status that colour them, yet we long to establish a connection with celebrities, however forced they may be. We, the nobodies, only feel validated once we have a celebrity sighting under our belt and can prattle on endlessly about it to everyone we know. And when not out of pure enthrallment, we study stars so as to emulate their decisions, mimic their actions and, with luck, become them. Are our lives so boring they justify such intense yearn­ ing to be in another's shoes? If this is the case, jumpstarting the interest and drama in our own routine seems much more proactive than worshipping minions from afar.

After all, celebrity worship is merely conceding to the smoke and mirrors that is Hollywood culture. Celebrity mockery, on the other hand, is a constant source of entertainment that comforts us with the knowledge that in comparison, our secrets and melodramas are ultimately quite laughable. ■

People recognize me?

D a to o

We loved Naeem Datoo when he was SSMU Vice-President Communications and Events. He was so sweet and friendly... and funny, tool But then we eagerly gobbled up every fast morsel of propagan­ da from last years SSMU executive and oh, how we hated him! That immofal little slacked That bong-hitting drunkard! How dare he disgrace the long-esteemed presidential positron! How dare he abandon that portfolio, tike a sleazy hourly hooked We made toasts to his slightly-voluntary, mostlyinvoluntary resignation and turned his campaign photos into hot-selling dartboards, luckily for Datoo, we recognized a new god in Kate Rhodes and were able to treat him civilly again when our paths crossed at Pita Pit (Major celeb hangout/post­ career-high job location, by the way).

They can't stop partying... ever!

How did you rise to the top? Lots of hard work and a positive attitude!

Do you have a posse? Short answer: No. Really long answer: See the 4Floors guest list.

Are there advantages of being a McGill celebrity? You get to be in the newspaper... actu­ ally, that could be a disadvantage, too (see McGill Tribune 2003-2004). Oh yeah, when you get to know a lot of people on campus, the place seems a lot smaller. It's almost like an extension of your home. That's kinda nice too.

What are the disadvantages? People forget that you are human.

Do you feel like you have to meet certain expectations because you're a role model? Well, you gotta be real. That's the key. Any role mode) that isn't real isn't much of a role model 'cause they are putting up a facade for people to live up to. As long as you can be yourself, and be at peace with that, you're good. That's the kind of person I'd look up to.

Daniel Stem This pushy diva made sure we knew his "official" TV McGill title is "News Producer." Well, excuse us if we slip and call you "anchor per­ son" or "news boy," Mr. Stern. He's one of the most familiar TV McGill faces—are there many TV McGill faces?—and hosts a monthly commen­ tary segment called "One Stern Minute." Now that's some sexy shit.

How did you rise to the top? I've ingested enough hot air sitting in on SSMU meetings that I think I've just sort of floated there.

Do you have a posse? Is it composed of other celeb friends? I make Matt Howatt call me "Fonzie,” if that's what you're getting at.

Do you like being a celeb? You know you've made it when you walk into Gert's and some random drunk guy goes, "Hey, I know you." You're not sure if he's actually seen you on your TV station which isn't actually on TV or if he's just really really drunk, or why he's all by himself in the corner

crying into his beer, or even why he's not wearing any pants. But still, it gives you that extra ego boost!

What are the disadvantages? You know, there are only so many breasts you can sign before your Sharpie runs out.

Do you feel like you have to meet certain expec­ tations because you're a role model? Well, in hom­ age to my own role model, the great Bob Barker, I do encourage everyone I know to have their pets spayed or neutered. I did the same to my Chia pet last week.

Matt Connell At most schools, the quarterback would be a cult of personality. But that's at unis where the football team doesn't suck harder than a Hoover.

Those poor Redmen go unnoticed most of the time, except when political correctness activists question their moniker. Ina drunken blink of an eye, we decided to make like we had team spirit and pretend that athletes hold sta­ tus at our institution. Rah, rah, shish boom bah, go football! (We're also just bitter because they rejected our hottest McGill athletes erotic calendar—and because the Tribune refused to officially back the project.)

Is it hard to be recognized all the time? It would be if anyone at McGill actually cared to recognize me or the football team.

Do you have a posse? WeH, QBs and receivers are the best-looking guys, so we tend to stick together.

I like to surround myself with beautiful people. But whenever receivers are not around, you'll find me with my offensive line.

look at me.

How do you handle the pressure of being a celeb? Like do you spend extra time in the morning, getting ready to look good and preparing for class?

Well, I do have some great hair that needs some maintaining, but I also did lose a lot of weight, you know, for the ladies!

Are there advantages of being a McGill celebri­ Does being a celebrity interfere with your study­ ty? Yeah, I get into Gert's; no line, no cover. ing? No, I'm in Phys. Ed. Enough said.

What are the disadvantages? So many women, Why you, not some other person? Come on, just so littletime!

the mcgill tribune | 219.04 j feature ] 5

Saeed Fotuhi The prince of postering! The promoter of parties! We ve seen the pictures—this man has rubbed elbows with the likes of li Cool J and Yasser Arafat! Famous for his thrice-thwarted SSMU presi­ dential bids, Fotuhi was responsible for cramming the "Speed Speed Saeed" slogan into our overstuffed heads for an entire semester with his nohso-subliminal messages. But we were so clueless back then we could only remember the first tworihirds of the message. This explains the drastic increase in drug consumption that year and the less-impres­ sive number of votes garnered for our friend. After the results of last year's election were announced, Fotuhi asked the CRO to investigate former President Alam Allis campaign spending. In keeping with the student body and SSMU's usual responses to Fotuhi's antics, the CRO ignored him. Fotuhi is cur­ rently working on his memoirs. That's right. His memoirs.

Do you have a posse? You need to in this city, because of the endless turf-wars. First you have the west-side prima donnas from Concordia, then you have the east-side nou­ veau-riche from UQAM. M-Saeed for lifel Why you, not some otherperson?Mix one part charisma, two parts dashing good looks.

Shake your booty and you have a Saeed cock­ tail! Fiesta! Ayy! How do you handle the pressure of being a celeb? I have a morning routine. I open my eyes and look into the mirror on my ceiling and say, "You are amazing. You are amazing. You are amaaazing!”Then I do 30 minutes of Taebo with my personal trainer, Arnold. Then I walk into my all-Von Dutch closet and spend 45 min­

utesto an hour looking likeI don't spend 45 min­ utes to an hour getting dressed. Finally, I drink a cup of Atkins coffee and start my afternoon.

Are there advantages of being a McGill celebrity?My opponents don't tend to keep their jobs for long.

What are the disadvantages? It doesn't automatically translate into votes. I think McGill is full of electoral girlie men!

Do you feel like you have to meet certain expectations because you're a role model? The only expectation people have of celebrities isfor us to keep their attention. Excuse me while I do some lewd act in a public restroom somewhere between a chapel in Vegas and rehab in Vermont.

They say whot they mean!

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Vivian Choy. Being a SSMU exec usually guarantees instant vilifi­ cation. But hey now, who could hate the V-Choy? She's cute, she's capa­ ble, and she's really the only grown-up in this pack of no-good-nicks Celebrity fun facts: Choy is rumoured to be an avid skier and stamp col­ lector (awwlj who loves Angela's Ashes and Catcher in the Ryel Seriously.

We love her. Like Beademania bve. Like sweating-profuselyfrom-nervousness-can'l-speak-properiy-can't-look-her-in-the-eyes love. Our adoration reached its most fervent pitch during her short stint as interim SSMU prez!

And then it was back to the University Affairs portfolio for our beloved Choy. And we remember when she was just a student senator!

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How did you rise to the top? You know, some would argue that it was more about falling to the bottom.

Do you have a posse? Do the librarians count? Unfortunately, my friends these days seem to be comprised of a small, rogue band of SSMU outlaws and a few pals who despise dis­ cussions about certain student associations.

Why you, not some other person? Well, I was "acclaimed.” So in fact, there was no one else.

What are the disadvantages? Slibel and Lander for one. And being unable to decipher if people are gawking at you because (a) they've "seen you somewhere before" or (b) there's food stuck in between your teeth.

hard to remember who you are in the political realm.

How do you “be yourself“? You hang on dearly to those patient, dose friends who keep you humble and sane. during your weakest moments.

Do you feel like you have to meet cer­ tain expectations because you're a role model? I’ma role model?! Lesson #1 : Find someone else. The only expectation I strive for is to be myself because undoubtedly, it's

They don't go down without a fight!

Rob Salerno Current AUS President, former McGill Daily News editor, contributor to Steps, actor in Player's Theatre, office holder in Queer McGill. Celebrity trivia quiz cruestion: From how many positions did Salerno resign? But lilce the phoenix from the ashes and the acid burbling up our esophagi, he rises again.

Besides, between those unforgettable columns about his enor­ mous unit and other taboo topics, his goofy grin, and the dreamy pictures of him at salerno.uni .ee we can't get enough of Robbie darling.

Is it hard to be recognized all the time? spun into Faculty of Arts intrigue. Then I decid­ Not really. I got eased into it from my time at the Daily when people wouldn't know who I was until they actually heard my name. It's actually fun the way reactions vary from "You're the president? Can you do me a favour..." to "Ugh, student politician..."

How did you rise to the top? Charm, lib­ eral use of the word "fuck," and a few strate gic sexual favours. I guess it started with my news reporting at The Daily, which led me to cover student "celebs." Then my "Standard Deviant" column, which earned me the ire of almost everybody. Then the mishap at The Daily that led to my resignation and got me

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What are the disadvantages of being a McGill celebrity? Having to convince yourself that eating half a wheel of cheese for dinner is healthy because you don't have time to cook for yourself or buy groceries.

Do you feel likeyou have tomeet certain

expectations because you're a role model?

Definitely. I think it's important to set an exam­ ple for others. I may come across as a badass, but I've really got a heart of gold, just last week I donated half my AUS stipend to orphans— orphans with diseases.

Dr. Michael Storch, Sexual Ethics instructor.

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ed to run for AUS, and people seemed to like me. How quickly they forget...

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Maybe Sexual Ethics is always full because the word "Sexual" is right there in the course title (you pervy horndogs!|. But we think it might have to do with the fact that the prof is ultra charming and engaging. (Note how we carefully avoid sex harrassment charges by using passive descriptive words like "charm­ ing" and “engaging.") Or maybe it's because he bribes all of his students so they'll give him glowing reviews. Don't worry Storch, your secret is safe with us!

Is it hard to be recognized all the time? pie who would rather ignore you.

Why you, not some other person? They

Yes, I smile and nod at everyone on campus who is under 25 just in case they are, or have been, my student. Consequently, I have chronic neck pain. It's also embarrassing when students catch me doing improvisational dances in the park when I'm on E.

were busy

How do you handle the pressure of being a celeb? Like do you spend extra time in the morning, getting ready to look good before showing up to How did you rise to the top? class? When I really feel the pres­

Systematic, yet ethical "elimination" of the sure, I sing a happy song, like "The Wreck of the Edmund competition. And vitamins. And helium.

Does being a celebrity (i.e. having to Fitzgerald," all 93 verses. Then I schmooze, or having todo whatever it is that shave my head with a #3 razor Do you like being a celeb? has made you so well known/ interfere with your teaching? Ifyou think about it, schmooz­ i thought it would pay better, and ing is virtually identical to teaching. They I thought that therewas supposed to are both about getting the attention of pea be a free buffet.

They dote other student politicians!

Rod DeCaStro. This Brazilian bridge-burner is noto­ rious for being a serious schmoozer and arguer. Once just an out­ spoken member of the SSMU Council gallery, he vaulted himself into the Operations portfolio and engaged in a high-profile political romance with then Speaker of Council, Mark Sward.

The conservative Casanova could just as quickly turn the love potion into venom, leading the witchhunt against doe-eyed predecessor Kathleen Morrison. Ah, but how the McGill world watched with glee as karma bit DeCastro in the ass, leaving shamefully deep teeth-marks in the form of defeat by Kate Rhodes in the 2003 SSMU presidential by-election.

How did you rise to thetop? By disagreeing with excessive political correctness and so-called "student activists." And, by never passing up a chance to get my name or face in print—even if it means answering these ridiculously vain ques­ tions.

Do you have a posse? Is it composed of other celeb friends? I like to pretend that I know everyone at Place Milton and I nod and smile at random folk who walk by the window at Lola Rosa's... Inactual fact, I surround myself with other SSMU burn-outs and old friends who are ridicu­ lously smart— they'reembarrassed to be seen with me in public.

They use swear words and drop drug lingo!

Why you, not some other person?I'msinglehandedly more exciting than this year's batch of SSMU executives and oh-so-very-sexy in compari­ son.

How do you handle thepressure of being a celeb? I don't handle the pressure very well, but at

least I fasted longer than Afam.

Are there advantages of being a AAcGill celebrity? Does getting freaky, unsolicited exnails, unwanted Friendster requests and death threats (bring it on!) count?

Whot are the disadvantages? Seeing my name ina rag liketheAMGill Daily. Would some­ one kill that $5 fee already!

Howard Zinman If you lived at RVC, Howard knows you.

Despite having to learn 250 new faces a year, he recognizes former residents on the street, the metro and on campus. However, this week marks the end of an era as Howard becomes the building manager at Solin Hall. Cue the entire population of future RVC chicks bursting into tears and burning their bras in protest. Poor, unloved little twits

Isit hard to be recognized all the time?Well, it makes picking your nose in the Eaton Centre prob­ lematic...

Do you have a posse? Is it composed of other celeb friends?Actually, I do have a posse: I'd liketo give a big shoutout to the RVC front desk crew: Tony C & Big Pete. Can't forget the BMH porter's posse (Da BUnit); Peace, Charliel One love.

When you see me walking around campus inthe lat­ est fashions, you can proudly think: "There's my tuition dollars at work!"

Do you like being a celeb? Well, to quote Henry Kissinger, "The nice thing about being a celebrity isthat ifyou bore people, they think it'stheir fault."

Are there advantages of being a McGill celebrity? Definitely! Lunches in the RVC caf... free stuff... and the wome-whoops! I don't want to say

How do you handle the too much!

Do you feel like you have to meet certain pressure of being a celeb? I fancy myself as a man of expectations because you're a role model? Well,

style. And, being a represen­ they say that with great power comes great respon­ tative of McGill, I try to proj­ sibility. I don't really understand what that means, ect a sophisticated image. though, so who cares, right?

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A b o ve: C u ltu rally diverse in deed—a ruthless search fo r D o m in io n G allery pictures result­ ed in S o u th P a rk —n a m e th e character!

M ax Stern's art le g a c y co m m em o rated .......... LISE TREUTLER

H

e was not a curator, nor an art historian. His extensive library, bequeathed to McGill, Concordia and the Hebrew University inJerusalem, betrays his early interest in art history and the Old Masters' work, but German-born Dr. Max Stern will always be remembered for his contributions to contemporary art in Canadian galleries. Though he died in 1987, Stern's legacy is being celebrated now at the centenary of his birth at museums and universities across Montreal.

A curator is the employee of an art gallery responsible for the collections, or in certain cases, a guest art enthusiast responsible for a specific collection. An art historian is a critical analyst— not a compiler— which is where the difference lies.

Though educated to the doctorate level in art history at various universities in Germany, Dr. Stern's true passion lay in collecting and dealing art.

In 1941, Stern immigrated to Canada to avoid the Holocaust, and he soon joined the team at the Dominion Gallery of Fine Arts in Montreal, which he and his wife Iris would later buy and dedicate to "living art," the term he gave to the aft of modern Canadian painters. This was just the begin­ ning of his contributions to art in Canada— over 40 years as the owner of the Dominion Gallery. All the while, he and his wife collected modern art from all over Canada and Europe, frequently donating pieces to museums and galleries in North America and Israel.

Stern was not only passionate about art, but innovative in his methods of acquiring and displaying it. According to art his­ torian. Dr. Almuth Seebohm, Stern was one of the first gallery owners to create exclusive contracts with artists. He also played an important role in getting the import duty on sculpture in Canada lifted in 1956. It is not surprising that sculpture grew

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to become one of Stern's main interests when you consider his Gallery of Canada in Ottawa. assion for modernity in art— the Old Masters were all painters, For its tribute, the MACM has renamed its series of inter­ ut modern sculpture was a medium completely different. national symposia to become "The Max and Iris Stern During the early Dominion Gallery years, Stern and his wife Symposium"— a gracious thank you for the 68 pieces of art the began to acquire sculptures by such well-known European Sterns donated to the AAACM's collection. The first symposium artists as Auguste Rodin, Hans Arp and Henry Moore, in addi­ will be held this spring, with the goal of giving the general pub­ tion to major works in modern Canadian art. lic access to the most recent research in such areas as art his­ For his contribution to the Canadian art gallery culture, tory, sociology and literature.

Stern received the Order of Canada in 1984— Canada's high­ Our dear McGill, having no art gallery, could not take up est honour for citizens who have made a great lifetime achieve­ the opportunity to present a tribute to the Sterns. However, we ment contribution to our country. With gratitude for the cultural are not lost, as McGill is one of the three universities worldwide legacy he began in Montreal, Concordia University awarded holding part of Max Stern's extensive and famous art library.

Stern with an honorary doctorate a year later.

Our Max Stern collection is kept in the Rare Books and Special One hundred years after being born in Germany with a Collections Division on the fourth floor of the McLennan Library. pre-destined future in the arts in his genes Stern w a s not only p a s sio n a te a b o u t a rt, but innovative (his father Julius Stern owned a gallery in in his m ethods of a c q u irin g a n d d isp lay in g it.

Dusseldorf), Dr. Max Stern is being hon­ oured for the incredible legacy he has left to the Canadian art We are not, as they say, shafted. For though Stern's visible and world. Currently, two exhibitions in downtown Montreal are famous passion was for collecting and dealing art itself, his commemorating the anniversary— Concordia's Leonard and library was equally important to him, and his generous dona­ Bina Ellen Art Gallery is presenting Max Stern: The Taste of a tion to three educational institutions demonstrates how highly he Dealer until October 9, which highlights his private collection. regarded its value.

Rarely-seen paintings and drawings by some of Canada's most Max and Iris Stern are another piece in our puzzle of beloved artists will be shown, as well as several European Canadian history. They contributed an unbelievable amount to sculptures. In contrast, the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts is pre­ the gallery world, the lives of modern Canadian artists and senting A Dealer for "Living Art": Selected Works from the most of all, to our day-to-day culture. Visit an exhibit or our Montreal Donation ofMax and Iris Stern. This exhibition includes library's Max Stern collection to experience this piece for your­ works that were donated by the Sterns to theMMFA, theMusée self before the exhibits are packed up and we are left with d'art contemporain de Montréal and Concordia's gallery, as blank space instead of art— something Stern would never have well as documents from the Max Stern Archives at the National allowed. ■

C A N V A S

Fashion passion r M ontreal m eans miniskirts to m e JULIE PETERS

I have a closet full of miniskirts. This may seem bizarre in a city with only about 45 minutes of summer, but it is actual­ ly quite the opposite. Take a look at the McGill campus for proof. Fall is on its way, but everyone is wearing the minis­ cule thigh-bearing garments. For me, however, miniskirts are more than a fashion statement— they are a political declara­ tion of independence.

Here in M ontreal, the miniskirt represents defiance against my somewhat more repressed life in Toronto.

Yes, they are sexy. Yes, they are comfortable. But the best reason to wear a miniskirt is because you are young, you are in Canada, you are free to make your own choices. In short, because you can.

When you move away from home, you are suddenly faced with a myriad of new responsibilities and choices.

Everyone has small rebellious ways of exercising their new­ found rights of coveted adulthood. For some, it's refusing to go to sleep before sunrise. For others, it's eating Count Chocula at every meal. For me, it's miniskirts.

Back home in Toronto, I never dare to wear miniskirts. I would garner way too much unwanted attention on the street, or worse, at home. My mother and brother would send me right back to my room to "put some clothes on!" I'll never for­ get last New Year's, when I brought home my cherished new miniskirt— my first— for that over-hyped holiday. Yes, itwas the middle of winter. Yes, I froze my little tushie off. But I loved it and I was determined to wear it. Upon venturing into my mother's discriminating view, she exclaimed, "Julie, I can see your ass!" The look on my older brother's face was more than sufficient to express his feelings on the issue. I ignored them, and despite frigid Canadian temperatures, we had a great time, my miniskirt and I. Inthe summer, I wear the diminutive skirts at every oppor­ tunity: around the house, to the grocery store, going out danc­ ing.... What I constantly find peculiar are the reactions the

skirts elicit. On really hot, sunny days, I get little more than the passing up-and-down look. But when there is a hint of cloud cover, a little rain, or a temperature below 28 degrees, sud­ denly my skirt— or perhaps more specifically, my legs— become the central focus for everyone fromold homeless men to fat, middle-aged women. Finally, I learned the truth— it's only a scandal when it's raining.

Of course, this rule does not apply when walking down rue Ste-Catherine. No matter what I wear, the crazy women strutting past me always upstage my outfit, whether clad in a bra— and only a bra— or pants without sides, and therefore without underwear.

Montreal has become my city. Here, the miniskirt repre­ sents defiance against my somewhat more repressed life in Toronto, where I never wear the skirts as frequently as I do here— not when my family is around, anyway. Nor would I eat Count Chocula at every meal, for that matter. But here, I can, and will. All these reasons— plus the awesome aesthet­ ic alliteration— are why, summer or not, Montreal will always mean miniskirts to me. ■

the mcgill tribune j 219.04 | a&e ] 7

PREVIEWS

u s ic European greats invoked by electronic grandeur

MUSIC. Leftover Crack— September 23— L'X— 182 rue Ste-Catherine E. The reggaë/ska ranting, politicallyinclined group of rockers known as Leftover Crack are com­ ing to tear the roof off of L'X this Thursday. A band that could easily be written off as talentless noisemakers turn out to be way more once one looks deeper into their lyrics.

With lines like "The monotony of censored products shine in the display / The same old song of compromise went platinum today," it's clear they're more than just air-fillers.

This week, fans can sample their latest release, "Fuck World Trade," at their upcoming night of noise.

MUSIC. Trashcan Sinatras— September 22— Cabaret Music Hall— 211 blvd. St-Laurent. Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland, this down-to-earth quintet of music lovers is rolling into Montreal's Cabaret Music Hall this Wednesday.

Always claiming their first priority is music, not money, they have suffered through their own bankruptqy and the folding of their production company, GO! DISÇS. Now they're back with a vengeance with Weightlifting, their first album release in eight years. After engaging ’festivals all over ). Europe with their poignant lyrics, they'll bfe performing their cult favourites this week.

FILM Roger and Me— Cinéma du Parc— September 22, 23— 5:05 pm. The movie that started Michael Moore on his leftist tirade against evil, Roger and Me returns to Cinéma du Parc for show times on Wednesday and Thursday this week. Making waves over the closing of a major General Motors plant in his hometown of Flint, Michigan, Moore documents the greed and selfishness of plant chairman Roger Smith, as he costs hundreds of already struggling employees their livelihoods. Made before the blow-up of the "Michael Moore-type documen­ tary," this film is an honest and sincerely caring portrayal of a dire situation for those most directly hurt by corporate greed.

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usic that echoed the works of the great European composers reverberated in the halls of Cabaret Wednesday night in a warm-up event for the sixth edition of the Montreal Electronic Groove festival. The festival takes place from October 20 to 24 and features a bevy of inter­ national and local electronic producers and deejays.

Amidst the shadows of the smoky concert hall, a sig­ nificant crowd huddled to listen as German electronic producer and performer Ulrich Schnauss opened for his like-minded French counterparts, the group M83.

Before beginning his set, which involved two syn­ thesizers, a laptop and plenty of ethereal mood light­ ing, Schnauss informed the crowd that he had broken his hand and, consequently, things might not sound quite right. However, when he began to play his ecstatic style of ambient synth over laptop-induced beats, his temporary disability evaporated into the smoky air. With his majestic music, accent, high-tech pianos and creativity, he evoked the works of a genius, and seemed comparable to a contemporary electro Beethoven. Like the rendition of an orchestral movement that depicts both heaven and hell, Schnausss compositions drifted between joyous chill­ out melodies to dark tones over jungle bass lines. The crowd shuffled from tripped-out swaying to bouncing with bobbing heads.

While M83 is ordinarily comprised of just two band members, Nicolas Fromageau and Anthony Gonzales, they upgraded to a quartet for their live band performance, with two guitarists, one of whom sang, a drummer and a bassist. Similar in sound to Schnauss, M83 shared that Radiohead appeal by incorporating the intensity of the musicians with the angelic strains of the vocalist and long instrumental solos. Imagine all that with a hint of what Moby might concoct in a bitter mood, and you can almost hear the impressive sound waves floating through the audi­ ence's ears. M83 does for ambient and electronica what the New Deal does for house music.

Schnauss and M83 undeniably shared a similar sound despite different performance practices.

Nevertheless, both remind us that electronic music can be played by live musicians and is not limited to skilled deejays. Reflecting on the show, my compadre announced, "We just saw four guys make the same noise as a dude with only one hand turned out. I don't know whether to be impressed or disillusioned."

It's high time we revel in the diverse creative genius of it all and get swept away in the music's psy­ chedelic aura. ■

M

FILM. A Dirty Shame—Cinéma du Parc— Begins Friday, September 24. The Simpsons originator Tracey Ullman and Jackass' feature foibler Johnny Knoxville team up in this sex-driven, demented, but incredibly clever film featuring Sylvia Stickles, a housewife who has a kind of sexual revelation after a car accident, and turns into a com­ plete whore. Beware: this is not your standard film: among other naughty vignettes, Knoxville is seen giving a squirrel mouth-to-mouth. Fast-paced and unpredictable, A Dirty Shame will keep you laughing and squirming until the cred­ its run.

FESTIVAL. Orgues et Couleurs— September 24 to October 3—various locations. Beginning September 24, lovers of the organ can celebrate its 125th anniversary, as the festival Orgues et Couleurs, in its 6th edition, showcas­ es 72 performers' organic experiences. Offering fans 22 concerts at four different venues around eastern Montreal over 10 days, Orgues et Couleurs will be like a dream for anyone who loves orchestral music. For more information about the festival, or to buy tickets, check out their Web site at www.orgueetcouleurs.com.

THEATRE SubUrbia— September 23 to October 2— Studio Theatre of the Monument-National — 1182 blvd. StLaurent. The New York Times describes Eric Bogosian's play SubUrbia as "Chekhov high on speed and twinkies."

Bogosian depicts his own childhood growing up in a sub­ urb increasingly taxed by crime, disillusioned because he and his friends could never attain the American Dream.

Featuring plenty of sex, drugs and violence, this thoughtprovoking play, first released in 1995, comes to the Monument-National stage.

DANCE. Electro Acoustic Resonance— Studio 303 — 372 rue Ste-Catherine O.— September 24-26. Namchi Bazar and Frederic Gravel come together to choreograph the season-opening piece for Studio 303. In the works for nearly three months, Electro Acoustic Resonance is a Vernissage-danse that brings together all kinds of perform­ ance artists, from dancers to composers to musicians to video artists, and even a scientist and a philosopher!

Bazar and Gravel did their summer residency at Studio 303. Throughout this time, professionals have guided them in their creative process to bring this performance to the stage, beginning this Friday.

VISUAL ARTS Ode toJoy— September 24 to October 2—Turf Gallery— 410 rue St-Pierre. Victoria's Luke Ramsey brings his innovative artistic techniques to Old Montreal.

Ramsey, who says he's been drawing "since [he] could pick up a crayon," has travelled the world over, most recently showcasing his work in Taiwan. The ever-humble 25^/ear-old artist believes the most inspiring aspect of art is the creation process, not necessarily the creation itself.

Ode to Joy will feature Ramsey's live mural-painting and installation work, which involves lots of layering, thus max­ imizing the available canvas space.

1 8 a&e | 21.9.04 [ the mcgill tribune

© rts

^ ^ h e a tre

Seeing Double at the M ACM G i n e t t e L a u rin c r e a t e s a r t t h a t r e s o n a t e s

The act of contrition

CHERYL TYLER

J a ilh o u s e d r a m a ta c k le s s in a n d

S

ociety today suffers from an unhealthy fascination with the desire to replicate. Cultural phenomena such as Jennifer Lopez's ghetto booty and cloning cults have fueled an interest in methods that genetically and visually copy another person.

What is the nature of "the double," as.Ginette Laurin, artist-in-residence at the Musee d'art contemporain de Montréal, refers to this con­ cept? In her new multimedia exhibition, The Resonance of the Double, the renowned Quebec choreographer grapples with these themes in six installations that feature dance, live'choreographed action, photog­ raphy and video projection. By analyzing socially ingrained notions of the double theme, Laurin allows the spectator to question the nature of replication as it appears in our everyday lives and culture.

The installation titled "The Resonance of the Double," which bears the same name as the overall exhibit, explores the extent to which genetic similarities between twins affect their physical actions by fea­ turing a set of twins who repeat the same simple action in unison. The spectator becomes almost hypnotized at the eeriness of watching iden­ tical people act in the same way over a seemingly endless amount of time. Their rhythm implies that their movements might be repeated, or replicated, forever. Yet the twilight zone effect of the scene is tarnished when the separate identities of each twin become subtly evident, their actions falling slightly out of sync.

In the other installations, Laurin exposes the visual replication of other common "doubles" like ghosts, shadows of objects as recorded in the passing süfilight.of the day, and physical experiences of twin dancers who perform the same choreography in a relay-like cycle.

The varying oral accompaniments to the dance, which are avail­ able on headsets, offer an interpretation of the piece that affirms the individuality of each dancer's mind. The shift away from repetitiveness reinforces the piece's title, "Variations"— despite the conformity of their movements.

There are those who may strive to replicate iconic images of fancy, but in reality, the inspirational sources remain unique individuals.

The Resonance of the Double is an approachable and multifaceted exhibit— don't miss its run from September 17 to October 31. ■

s a lv a tio n IW O N A U N K

with what he's done and what it means to him.

The tense dynamic between the two leads is given J esus Hopped the A Train does not let its audience off structure by intermittent scenes between Angel and his easy. As in real life, there are no quick answers in this tough but slightly over-involved lawyer, Mary Jane (Holly play. Stephen Adly Guirgiss script raises powerful O'Brien). O'Brien adeptly portrays a woman struggling to questions about the nature of right and wrong, faith, define her own values while helping her client work redemption, and the existence of God, taking viewers through his own.

The set successfully evokes the harsh reality of a hostage for two hours and forcing them to take a long look' prison— there are plenty of metal gratings and not much at their own beliefs, whatever they may be.

The play, directed by Sidney Zanforlin and running at else on the cement floors. Interestingly, the bars between the Centaur Theatre, centres around two inmates of Riker's Lucius and Angel are not physically present, but implied, Island penitentiary in New York. Death row resident Lucius which allows for effective use of space and lets them sym­ Jenkins (Kwasi Songui] is a former junkie who murdered bolically get into each other's faces. It also makes the one eight people, but he feels at peace with his actions after scene where Angel actually gets behind physical bars all finding God. New arrival Angel Cruz (Jay Cutler] is impris­ the more effective in conveying his powerless confusion.

Jesus Hopped the A Train displays two men wrestling oned for busting a cap in a priest's ass in an act of revenge. The priest— actually a cult leader— brainwashed with faith and redemption in a situation where there is very Angel's best friend Joey. In a stroke of terrible luck for all little else left. The questions raised are crucial, but this is concerned, the priest dies of a heart attack in the hospital not some heavy-handed morality play. Lucius has found a few days later and Angel's charges are upped to first- peace in his faith, but believes this means his conscience can be cleansed of eight murders. Angel thought he had degree murder.

Since half the prison is out to get Lucius, and Angel no choice but to shoot the priest but his guilt visibly mounts quickly becomes a target for horny lifers, the two end up over the course of the play. There are no saints or martyrs in protective custody with only each other and a mildly here, and the line between right and wrong gets so sadistic guard named Valdez (Eric Davis) for company. As blurred it leaves you dizzy. The intensely enduring final the play unfolds, the scenes become increasingly gritty moment finds Angel on his knees screaming for forgive­ and intense as the characters gear up for Angels trial and ness from every saint he can think of. That scene alone Lucius's transfer to Florida for the lethal injection. Guirgiss demonstrates how extremely well written, directed and skillful, realistic dialogue pulls the audience into Lucius's acted this play is— the issues raised and the characters unshakeable faith and Angel's attempts to come to terms met will get under your skin and stay there. ■ MELISSA PRICE

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the mcgill tribune | 21.9.04 j a&e 19

<S' USIC

Music junkies unite Fans gather on message boards and newsgroups

For example, let's journey through cyber-fan within two or three hours of the show. A day or land with Phish (even though they broke up). Not two later, you will be able to find links to down­ only can you check out their official Web site- load the entire show, raw and unpolished. * B efore the dawn of the age of cyberspace, complete with tour dates, bios, news and mer­ While the Internet communities are great for music junkies had limited access to the lat­ chandise— but you can explore and rate count­ downloading live concerts, the best part is est news about their favourite artists. Any less fan sites where people share their experi­ being able to learn about up-and-coming bands information they were able to get would be from ences and post set lists from past shows. from around the world. Message boards and the radio, MTV, Rolling Stone or the police briefs Message boards and chat rooms create commu­ sites offer tons of album reviews and recommen­ in the newspaper. Musical debates and argu­ nities where fans can interact in real time, dis­ dations, as well as providing useful information ments were limited to such claims as "that song cussing everything from the daily events of the about who plays a great live show. Many dis­ was sick" or "I think their first album was better." world to which Web sites have the cheapest cover some of their favourite artists on-line. Once Oh the times, they have a-changed. you know the music, it is easy enough to find out bongs.

Now, music lovers' lives are firmly Here's a scenario even cooler than those when they are playing your town next and to get entrenched in cyberspace. There are hundreds above. Say Phish is playing a concert in your tickets pre-ordered on sites like of thousands of chat rooms, blogs, mailing lists, Vancouver and you weren't able to sell enough Admission.com. fan Web rings and Web pages dedicated to pot to pay for the plane ticket. Instead of sitting Look up an artist you have never heard of every facet of music imaginable. Fans from at home in a corner and crying in tune with each that has concert advertisements posted all over around the world can now discuss the meaning of their albums, you can hop on-line and find sol­ the city— you may discover a new love and of song lyrics, swap unreleased tracks, set up ace on a message board with hundreds of other catch a great show. Or for those who would parties and share stories about how they swear fans unable to attend the show as well. Here rather stay away from the cyber world or are Eddie Vedder drove past and waved at themthe one can receive up-to-the-minute news about simply computer illiterate, pick up a copy of the other day. In less than the time it takes to listen what song the band is currently playing, and Mirror weekly magazine and start to navigate to the average CD, you can find a wide variety when in "Phishtory" the band last played that your way through Montreal's vibrant and diverse of people who are just as fanatical about their song. Reviews of the entire night will pop up music scene. ■ favourite bands as you are.

SCOTT SAMEROFF

R E V I E WS CD— Open by Channels From the title and the minimalist album art, you might expect Open, the first release by Channels, to be a serene yet slightly bland offer­ ing. But oh, how wrong would you be. Sure, Open has its moments of tranquility, but they're found in a sea of-complex, carefully arranged, sound. The album evokes a collage— the three members, all veterans of the music industry, piece together their assorted influences to create a multifaceted whole.

The opening track, "Disconnection Day," begins with silvery guitar and singer J. Robbins' voice detached and far away. By the end of the song, he's right up next to you, along with driv­ ing, doom-filled bass and crashing drums, the ethereal feeling broken by a vague sense of dread. This is the entire album— the songs play with sound and the way it creates moods, but they remain solid.

From the jumpy punk track "Chivaree" to the album closer "Win Instantly," a chilled-down day­ dream featuring Robbins' wife, Janet Morgan, sighing vocals like a more emotive Nico, Channels moulds together creative and unexpect­ ed melodies. Several tracks fit the seemingly dis­ jointed guitar and drums like puzzle pieces.

Open is a loosely woven, shifting wall of sound you'll get lost in.

—Melissa Price

tsso) Imperial Oil

E m p lo y e r o f C h o i c e r • growth • o p p o r t u n i t i e s « c a r e e r • l ear ni ng

Imperial Oil is Canada's la rg est fully in tegrated petroleum com pany and a m ajor producer o f crude oil and natural gas. From the search for ra w m aterials to the creation o f highly sp ecia lized refined products, w e are a leader in research, developm ent, production, manufacturing, distribution, m arketing an d retailing.

You may have been told to expect multiple employers over the course of your career. How would you feel about multiple careers with a single employer? At Imperial Oil, we believe that being an Employer of Choice means making sure your future with us is full of opportunities. If you're a graduate in Engineering, Earth Science, Business Administration, or related disciplines, chances are that Imperial Oil has an opportunity that is right for you.

Plan to attend our Information Session.

Trottier Building - Room 1090 Tuesday, September 28,2004 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

For more information about graduate and summer/co-op opportunities at Imperial Oil, visit our Web site at:

w w w .im p erialo il.ca/ca/n p fis

Book— Splitting Off by Triny Finlay In Splitting Off, Triny Finlay's debut collec­ tion of poetry, Finlay sets herself up for difficult comparisons: Each of the five sections begins with a passage from the work of renowned poets such as Michael Ondaatje and Gwendolyn MacEwan. Finlay wavers in her ability to hold her own beside these greats.

Her best work appears near the end of the book. In the final section, "The Moment When It Seems Most Plain," in which poems have names like "Dilate" and "Blue," each is a tunnel-vision depiction of a few moments. The. poems are quick glimpses inside Finlay's head, giving the reader a split second of pure mood and atmos­ phere. Likewise, the section called "Confidence Tricks" explores past relationships with shaded honesty. Finlay leads us through the geometry of a lover's spine with evocative imagery, often of food— skin like unbleached flour and blood like sugared raspberries. "The Shape of Your Tongue," in which Finlay pulls apart a verse of e.e. cummings' "since feeling is first" and fills the space between themwith her own layers, is both interesting and effective.

Unfortunately, her efforts are not so intrigu­ ing in the rest of the collection. The poems in the first section are full of the same unusual and engaging images, but the disorganized structure undermines their efficacy by making the images appear to trip over each other. In several places, it's difficult to get a feel for what she's actually try­ ing to say. This works to her advantage in the later vignettes, but the longer poems tend to get caught up in too much metaphorical imagery to make them coherent. In general, Finlay's ability to create unexpected, colourful images is impres­ sive, but they also need to be tied together more tightly for her poems to have the impact they should.

—Melissa Price CD— Freestylin' Pros by Eyedea & Abilities With a catchy name and an ideology to match, E & A brings high-end creativity to main­ stream underground hip-hop. MC Eyedea is a pro at whipping up rhymes in a free-styling fren­ zy that will leave you wondering whether his words spin faster than the speed of light. Abilities is the deejay of the duo. With this talented two­ some, the result is a sound that is indeed innova­ tive. Proof lies in their constant success in con­ quering the competitive circuit, sweeping nation­ al DMC battles. They rap about "reactions to passion" and life being overrated. "I earn a com­ mission but it makes me feel so ugly," rants Eyedea. You'll find plenty of fancy scratch and mix sounds on this album but the overall sound comes across as very real and live, much like lis­ tening to an MC pit himself against himself in a showdown. If you're looking for hip-hop that brings it back to the basics, check out Eyedea and Abilities, as they do just that... and they do it well.

—Shivangini Arora

sports F O O T B A L L

-

Redmen

38,

Gaiters

7

Redmen take a bite out of Gaiters C o n n e ll

a n d

C o .

JOSEPH GILGOFF

With the speed and agility of Michael Vick and the poise and grit of Brett Favre, Redmen quarterback Matt Connell sliced up the Bishops Gaiters' defence like he had a Ginsu knife on Saturday afternoon, leading the Redmen to a 38-7 victory over the Gaiters at Molson Stadium.

In recent years, the RedmenGaiters rivalry hasn't been much of one at all, with McGill dominating nearly every time out, including last year's season-ending 51-10 victory that pushed the Redmen into the play" offs. Connell was determined to con­ tinue that trend and responded with his finest outing in a McGill uniform, com­ pleting 13 of his 22 attempts for 163 yards and two touchdowns, while rushing for 35 yards and two more majors: a performance that earned him QUFL player of the week honours.

More impressive than his num­ bers, however, was Connell's compo­ sure and leadership on the field. The 20-year-old native of St. Albert, Alberta , was calm under pressure in control from start to finish in just his fourth career outing. Head Coach Chuck McMann was very pleased with Connell's play.

"He's very much a strong person­ ality; a leader," said McMann. "He has the confidence of the team. And he'll only get better... each week."

The scoring began early for the Redmen, with Connell running the ball in from two yards out after his 13"yard scramble put McGill in scoring posi­ tion, giving the Red 'n' White a 7-0 lead less than three minutes into the game. However, Bishop's would come

T H E

R E D

b e a t

u p

o n

B i s h o p 's

a s

M c G ill

m o v e s

2 -1

back on the strength of a 29-yard pass play followed by a 147ard scamper from rookie quarterback Kyle Williams, in what was the Redmen's defensive unit's only lapse of the game.

The Redmen, recovered, though, and regained the lead before halftime on a 14-yard touchdown pass from Connell to wide receiver Chris McGuire, again opening a sevenpoint spread between themselves and the Gaiters.

D o m in a n t second half m akes th e difference

While the Redmen's superiority was evident from the get-go, their mar­ gin at the break was slim. The second half, however, was a different story.

The Redmen racked up 17 points in the third quarter, scoring on runs by Connell and running back Michael Samman, and a 35-yard field goal by kicker Robert Eeuwes, the first of his career. Connell's fourth-quarter hookup with receiver Rob LeBlanc— last week's QUFL player of the week— was the only score by either team in the peri­ od, and capped a dominant stretch of just over 15 minutes during which McGill put 24 points on the board.

McMann explained the scoring outburst by noting that after halftime, the Redmen decided to throw more on first down to put added pressure on the Gaiters' defence. Connell thrived as a result of the change and was happy with his team's second-half effort.

"In the first half, we didn't finish.

We could have won the first two games by a lot, but we didn't finish our drives," the 6'1", 188 lb. pivot

IWONA LINK said. "We just went one play at a time in the second half and actually fin­ ished them off."

Slotbacks Greg Hetherington and LeBlanc were a two-man wrecking crew, combining for 10 catches and 139 yards. After the game, LeBlanc said the opposing defence might have been a little overwhelmed by the com­ plex system the Redmen ran, and was quick to give Connell credit for McGill's offensive showing.

"The guy is great. His poise, and his intangibles in the huddle are great and he has our confidence," he said.

"We know if we run our patterns we'll be rewarded, and that feels good."

On the other side of the ball, McGill's defence was stellar, and has now allowed just seven points in its last two games. A constant onslaught of pressure from McGill defenders, who blitzed early and often, helped throw Bishop's off its game plan.

"We wanted to put pressure on the QB. We didn't want to give him time,” said safety Guillaume Roy, who had nine tackles in total.

Special teams added to the out­ come, as the Redmen had effective returns and tackled well, while the Gaiters picked up an embarassing five no-yards penalties on punt coverage.

Perhaps Bishop's weakness in

almost all facets of the contest con­ tributed to McMann's cautious opti­ mism following the tilt. He shied away from saying that this was a breakout game for McGill, instead indicating that Saturday's performance was just one step in the right direction.

"Our attitude is to try and improve every week. If we do that, then we're on track," he said.

The Redmen have a chance to boost their record against another infe­ rior team on Saturday, when they trav­ el to Sherbrooke. McGill beat the Vert & Or 17-0 in Week 2, and Sherbrooke has since lost 36-16 to Concordia. ■

Z O N E

Is the G reat One really the greatest?

N

to

orth Americans have an almost pathological need to pick the "Best Of" for almost every facet of life! People magazine selects the hottest male and female each year, television personalities like David Letterman bombard us with top ten lists, and Internet pop-up ads are constantly rating everything from felines to flutter boards.

Sports are no different. In fact, sports may represent the epitome of the rating system. We argue over the best teams, best players, best coaches, best fans, best cheerleaders, best uniforms, best stadiums, and even the best beer vendors and zamboni drivers.

However, hockey is one sport where arguments concern­ ing the game's pre-eminent player are few and far between. But with the national pastime on hiatus for who knows how long, let's try and dissect this debate anyway.

All those that believe Wayne Gretzky is the greatest play­ er of all-time, raise your hand. Well, with my arms held firmly against my hips, I would like to suggest an alternative to this seemingly obvious answer: Mario Lemieux.

In the wake of a magnificent performance at the World Cup by Team Canada, Mario the Magnificent, as team cap­ tain, left no doubt in my mind that he isthegreatest hockey play­

D A N IE L C H O D O S

er of all time.

Lemieux, standing at 6'4" and 230 lbs., never had that Okay, before you rip up your paper in a huff, hear me out. luxury and made a career pounding his way through opposing Gretzky, tallying four 200-point seasons, entered the league in players. The wear and tear from playing this way is relentless. the heyday of the stand-upgoaliewith-half-inch-thick-foam-pads Also, Lemieux never had a Marty McSorley or Dave Semenko era, when scoring was easier. And by the time he was really to protect him from opposing goons. He was his own enforcer, flying high, he played next to the likes of Paul Coffey, Jarri Kurri, and there is something to be said for that.

Mark Messier, Glenn Anderson... need I go on? Together, they Lemieux's physical play, though admirable, has come at a took home Stanley Cups the way I bring home pens fromwork, price. Super Mario has been hampered by knee, back, and Meanwhile, Mario had Rob Brown flanking him on the hip injuries, and was limited to a mere 10 games this past sea­ lowly Penguins. In fact, during the 1987-88 season, Lemieux son. It isa shame that Lemieux's style of play never afforded him more than doubled the point total of any of his teammates, a the same longevity that Gretzky had, because Mario could remarkable feat that was never achieved by Gretzky. Not by a have mounted a serious assault on Gretzky's place in the record long shot. books. For all of Gretzky's records, Lemieux has amassed more Defenders of Gretzky like to insist that his smaller stature points per game over his career than the Great One— or any­ (he's listed as 5'1 1", 170 lbs.) must be accounted for when one else, for that matter. selecting the all-time greatest. But who ever said being small is Maybe Mario is the greatest player of all time, and really such a handicap? Martin St. Louis, sparkplug of the maybe he's not. But hockey fans all too often take the Great Tampa Bay Lightning and league MVP, stands only 5'9", and One for granted— as though he's the greatest one. When a he is one of the best players in the NHL today. Unlike Gretzky, young future superstar like Eric Lindros or Sidney Crosby comes St. Louis slogs through the modern bump-and-grind style of play, up, you never hear that he's the next Lemieux, but maybe you yet still manages to slip his slight frame through the cracks in should. After all, Mario's last name does mean "the best." ■ opposing defences.

the mcgill tribune | 21.9.04 | sports 21

SOCCER

M c G ill t e a m s

b la s t U Q À M

OFF

THE

BEATEN

PATH

M a r tle ts a n d R e d m e n b o t h so lid if u n s p e c t a c u l a r MELANIE MACDONALD

Two games, two shutout victories, and two teams that look well on their way to the goal of winning their respec­ tive Quebec championship— although it's early, the mens and women's soccer squads were in fine form Friday night.

And what is even scarier for the rest of the Quebec Student Sport Federation is that the teams might not even be in top form yet.

The Martlets defeated Université du Québec à Montréal 3-0 and the Redmen blanked the Citadins 4-0 in the home opener for both teams.

Martlets' first-year defender Catherine Scott feels that despite the result on the scoreboard, her team has the ability to perform at a much higher level.

"It was an okay season opener, but we haven't yet reached our full potential because of injuries," she said. "There were some good things during the game, but we have the ability to do much, much more."

That was evident in the first half, as the Martlets dominated the play and had numerous scoring chances, but were only able to put one ball in the net.

StrikerJen Scanzano was the goal scor­ er, potting the ball in the bottom right corner 25 minutes into the game. Head Coach Marc Mounicot was disappoint­ ed that his team headed into halftime leading by such a slim margin. "[We] miss[ed] too many goals against a team that is not too strong," he said. "More goals should have been scored, and, most importantly, the quali­ ty of play should have been better."

The second half saw improvement, with the Martlets capitalizing on more of their chances. Rookie striker Carly Dejoie entered with 33 minutes to play, and shortly thereafter took full advantage of a misplayed ball by UQÀM and RUGBY

booted it into the right corner to give McGill a 2-0 lead.

However, following that elation came frustration. Scanzano, one of the few Martlets who had a particularly strong first half, received a red card for a foul on a play that appeared to be a 50-50 ball. A surprised Scanzano was forced to leave the field and head to the Martlets' dressing room.

Even though they were playing 10on-1 1 after the questionable call, McGill was still able to add another marker, when Toni Pascale took advan­ tage of an opportunity in the box with nine minutes remaining in the game, rounding out the scoring.

After the game, Mounicot was happy with the win, but spent little time raising the team, noting instead that he P h<as higher expectations for a talented squad.

"I know the kind of players we have, I know the qualities they have, and I know the possibilities the team has as a whole," he said. "I think they can play much better than they showed tonight."

Scott echoed her coach's senti­ ments.

"I am optimistic for the rest of the season, and the best is definitely yet to come," she said.

R ed m en rem ain undefeated

In the second game of the night, the Redmen succeeded where the Martlets failed— putting the ball in the net within the first 10 minutes of play.

Taking full advantage of the opportunity that presented itself from a ball off the post, Jonathan Warin sent an important early message that McGill would make the most of every scoring opportunity UQÀM handed them.

Following that, QSSF all-star Alexandre Scott scored on a second effort off a ball fed to him by the UQÀM keeper, hooking the ball over the netmin-

R e tu r n

Miss Ataloss is back for more in our second installment M O H IT A R O R A

PATRICKFOK der's head. Scott noted that Head Coach Adam Mar complimented the team's play at the break.

"We were able to hold [UQAM] and score when we had chances, he said. "And Adam said at halftime, that's the sign of a good team."

McGill played defensive soccer for ~ " da most of the second half, sitting on itstwogoal lead. But when the chance arose, the Redmen took it, as Juan Ignacio Zavagno headed the ball into the right corner of a free kick in the 72nd minute.

Fernando Daluiso pushed the McGill advantage to 4-0 with a successful play past the defenders and finish in the back of the net.

While Mar was clearly pleased with the scoring result, he does not want his team to become overly excited about the victory.

"I don't want us to sit on this win; I want us to keep rising," he said. "The team is preparing each game as if it was the first game of nationals— and that's how we're taking each and every minute."

Scott agreed that this result bodes well for the Redmen's chances in the Quebec conference and at the CIS championship, which McGill will host in November.

"If you can defend well and score when you get your chances you'll go far.

We sent a message to the league tonight," he said. ■

PREVIEW

R u gb y

M a r tle ts r e ly in g

o n

fo u n ta in

o f y o u th

T e a m f a c e s n e w c h a l l e n g e s in living u p t o p a s t p e r f o r m a n c e s ANGELA GIANNOTTI . .

After several years atop the Quebec Student Sport Federation stand­ ings, the McGill women's rugby team is facing an unfamiliar problem; a lack of experience. Usually there's a glut of tal­ ented, high profile veterans and rookies vying for positions on the team, but according to Head Coach Vince DeGrandpré, there are only eight return­ ing veterans this year.

The turnover is felt mostly in the pack, which lost seven starters, including Araba (Roo) Chintoh, Patricia Jaworski, and Candace Patterson, all of whom played for the Canadian national team.

Their replacements are players who have moved up fromMcGill's feeder program, the Macdonald Clanswomen, and include Mariejosée Blais, Rebecca Haber, Maria Jaworski, and Val Evans.

The latter two have also made the transition fromback toforward. Jaworski, a scrum-half, is now filling her sisters boots at eight-man, and Evans, a former centre, has been playing prop. Both ath­ letes have excelled at their new positions in this young season.

But hooker Julia Leonard, the only returning starting forward, admitted that there are some weaknesses in the pack, despite the team's big wins in earlyseason play.

"Our lineouts were kind of shaky at times... and we [lost] a number of rucks

was crowned champions in 1998.

Additionally, the Martlets finished in the top three at the CIS national tournament for three consecutive years between 2000 and 2002.

Last year's fifth-place finish was a disappointment for the team, although weather conditions, such as temperatures between -5 and -10°C and five to seven centimetres of snow on the pitch were big factors.

"We were a quick backs team, and we were basically paralyzed by the snow," scrum-half Jocelyn Barrieau said of last year's CIS result. "The only thing that could have helped us do any better was training outdoors in January," she added, though the University of Alberta played in the same weather and earned their fifth straight CIS championship.

But the path to nationals goes through the QSSF. In the conference, the main competition this season should come from a strong Ottawa Gee Gee's team, a change from the usual McGillConcordia rivalry. Barrieau has tem­ pered her outlook for the Martlets this year, expecting the squad to make it to the provincial final, and viewing any thing beyond that as a bonus.

The dip in expectations is a true sign that the team is rebuilding, but as the 10.

To be sure, this young Martlet other teams in the QSSF have yet to squad is trying to live up to quite a lega­ catch up to McGill, the Martlets remain cy. McGill has won every QSSF title the team to beat. ■ since 1995, except when Concordia

which should have won," Leonard said.

"But these skills require lots of time and practice to perfect."

But while the pack may still be wet behind the ears, DeGrandpré is feeling extremely confident about the team's backfield.

"There aren't many teams in Canada right now who wouldn't kill for our backs," he noted.

Indeed, the Martlet backline is made up of some of the strongest players from the top Montreal-area club teams, with only one rookie starting— flyhaIf Julianne Zussman. Also new is Phil Rogers, the backs coach, who is focus­ ing on developing a strong outside backs game. This means that theMartlets will be able tocapitalize on theskills and speed of its returning stars, wingers Meghan Stewart and Tess Kelley and full­ back Theresa Casey.

But the Martlets must not forget the old rugby saying, 'the forwards decide who wins the game, and the backs decide by how much.' If McGill's pack fails to win the scrums, line-outs and rucks, the ball won't get out to the backs enough for them to rack up the tries like they did last season, when the Martlets scored 477 points while conceding only

o f th e ja rg o n

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

-Football commentator and former quarterbackJoe Theismann Maybe Mr. Theismann was on to something when he uttered that statement. Knowing a thing or two about sports does­ n't exactly put you in line for a Nobel prize, but it certainly makes you king of the barstools. Or perhaps queen-a lofty goal towards which our lovely Miss Ataloss is striving. In part one, she tried her hand at football and hockey, and this week she gave rugby a try and took a shot at basketball.

Rugby

Miss A. understandably had some trouble with rugby vocab­ ulary since some of the jargon is pretty unique to this sport alone.

Her first hurdle was to comprehend the meaning of a try. "Try? Like effort?," she asked. A try is when a player reaches the end

zone and subsequently touches the ball down, scoring five points for his team— the precursor to a touchdown in football. Miss As confusion came mostly from trying to comprehend the notion that try is a noun in rugby, not a verb. "So you're telling me that the point of rugby is to try to score a try," she concluded, with more than a hint ot contempt for yours truly.

I then asked her what came to mind upon hearing the term line-out It is not when the entire front line runs away from the ball, as she speculated, but a procedure for in-bounding the ball after it has left the field of play. Miss A. seemed impressed by the play once I described it to her, and somewhat humoured by the image of tall men and women being hoisted up as high as pos­ sible in order to catch a pass. She peppered me with questions about the players involved, and I sensed the need to quiz her on the actual position names.

We started, naturally, with the hooker. Miss^As glib answer— "Is that what the coach buys the star player?"— hinted that she really had no idea that the hooker is a forward that is front and centre in the scrum, and attempts to hook the ball back with his foot. Likewise, she struggled with the prop, responding, "Damn my theatre experience! llmm, is that like a fake-out or something?" Actually, two props line up alongside the hooker in the scrum, and literally prop the hooker up so that her foot is free to control the ball.

Basketball

Miss A. has always enjoyed the game, but some of the slang used by commentators slowed her understanding of the sport. For instance, she had no idea that a dime is an assist.

Instead, she reverted back to her quick wit, believing that it's the amount of child support an NBA player is willing to pay his exwives and girlfriends. And she thought that the charity stripe, a nickname for the free throw line, involved giving the ball back to the other team because you are mercilessly crushing them.

And believe it or not, Miss A , but a pick-and-roll has noth­ ing to do with a finger or a nose. It is a set play allowing the ball-handler to be freed from the defender guarding him by a teammate who stands in the way of the defenders path. Finally, Miss A. was unfamiliar with the triple double, which is a feat accomplished by a player who has reached double digits in three statistical categories (i.e. points, assists, rebounds], and not a fancy coffee from Starbucks.

All in ail, Miss Ataloss impressed this sports nut with her enthusiasm and patience in trying to understand why we fill our heads with sports slang, stats, and standings, when we could use that precious space for the stuff we learn in school. But hey, knowledge is knowledge, and whos to say that E=mc- is more worthy of our understanding than the finer points of the zone defence? I bet even Norman Einstein couldn't have devised a plan to beat the Pistons. ■

22

sports | 21.9.04 | th e m cgill tribune

NHL

LOCKOUT

OVERVIEW

INTRAMURALS

O w n e r s , u n io n p r e p a r e d fo r

Intramural football gets fla g g e d

lo n g , u g ly d is p u t e

A th le tic s d e p a r t m e n t h o p e s ru le c h a n g e s l e a d t o i n c r e a s e d p a r t i c i p a t i o n MOHIT ARORA

DANIEL CHOPO S

It's the dawn of a new season of intramural flag football at McGill. And, as always at this time of year, the leaves turn brown, the days become colder and the rules get changed.

Last season, flag football was over­ hauled, and many of the rules that had previously governed play went the way of the dodo. The offensive line was no longer allowed to actually block oppo­ nents, fumbles were now declared dead balls, and everyone on the field became an eligible receiver.

McGill's assistant manager of cam­ pus recreation, Perry Karnofsky, justified the rule changes, explaining that the Athletics department wanted to level the playing field.

"We probably had four or five solid teams that were doing fine playing

by McGill rules ' [that allowed block­ ing]," he said. "But the rookie teams were getting smoked. It was getting too hard to compete with these veteran teams; it just wasn't fun. We had to look out for the majority."

There has been a marked drop-off in the number of teams registered for flag football in recent years. In the past, there had been around 25 intramural football teams, with separate boys' and girls' divisions. Last season, however, that number was down to 12, including two "pseudo-coed" girls' teams.

505

Karnofsky asserted that theallowance of contact was a large part of what led to the downturn in student participation in football.

"There had been complaints from some of the players," he said.

In fact, as of 2002, McGill was the only Canadian university that was playing contact intramural football with­ out padding of any kind. This June, Desaria Bradshaw was named conven­ er of the intramural football league.

"When she looked at the rule book, she looked at me and said, 'Nobody plays under these rules any more,'" Karnofsky replied.

Based partly on her advice, McGill Recreation shed its old flag football style even further for the upcoming season. Now, there is no offensive line whatsoever, and referees are being given more authority to call penalties, especially when a player "impedes the progress of a defensive player." The department was even tinkering with the idea of changing the league to touch football, but determined that would make the referees' job too difficult.

Part of the basis for these amend­ ments was to avoid any potential injuries. Karnofsky had never witnessed any major problems in this respect, but he had heard about various minor injuries "indirectly" Certainly, when 220-pound behemoths lunge at inexpe­ rienced freshmen, some damage may

Things aren't looking so hot for the coolest game on Earth these days.

The doors are now locked on NHL arenas everywhere, and the actions of both the league and the players' union indicate that this dispute will not be settled in the short term. Leading up to the September 15 deadline, the two sides were more involved in mud sling­ ing than they were in negotiation.

"The [players are] in denial of our problems— either because they don't care or they know if they admit our problems there'd be no way to explain why they're not addressing them," said NHL commissioner Gary Bettman.

Meanwhile, NHLPA Executive IWONALINK Director Bob Goodenow has provid­ ed such nuggets as, "They're not inter­ occur. The school wants to avoid being ested in negotiating a compromise the target of a lawsuit for atrocities that right now... they're going to have their could result from such lopsided match­ lockout." ups.

That may be a half-truth, Bob. To Registration seems to have all of those concerned with this situa­ increased already, with 14 teams sign­ tion, it has seemed that neither side ing up this season. Of course, it is hard has been too anxious to make a deal. to say whether the changes are respon­ The league and union met for a grand sible for such a slight increase, but total of six days this summer. Six! The Karnofsky is confident that most students will be more inclined to play flag foot­ owners say they have lost $ 1.8-billion since the last collective bargaining ball now than in years past.

"When I tell people we used to agreement was signed, including have guys playing on the line, they look $500-million in the last two years, yet at me like I have two heads," Karnofsky they couldn't devote more than six days to negotiating a new deal. The said.

However, several players players were staring unemployment in expressed their displeasure with last the face, yet they couldn't even spend year's rule changes; they long for the an entire week hammering out a new CBA with their bosses, who so gener­ previous intramural football system.

"If 1 could change one thing, it ously paid them an average of $1.8would be to create rules that give the million each last season.

Though it seems like the two sides quarterback more time to throw the ball," said Adam Vickers, U3 haven't spent much time negotiating, it is some consolation to know that they Psychology.

Karnofsky says he believes prob­ haven't gotten anywhere in that time. lems likethis will work themselves out as The labour dispute resides on one major sticking point, and both sides the season progresses.

"Right now, we're experiencing are stuck with super glue on their sides some growing pains, but hopefully, as of the fence. The owners want a the game develops, we'll be more com­ fortable with applying the rules," he I M A G E S said. "I think it's only a matter of time before [the rule changes] translate into increased attendance and participa­ tion." ■

T r e . n . z v i T ç v i r s . c o Ÿ * ' 208 2 1 4

B O U L . D E M A IS O N N E U V E E A S T . S U IT E

,/ f

L

Y

M O N T R E A L . Q U E , A D IV IS IO N O F V I P P R O T O U R S . O P C M E M B E R

salary cap, and the players do not. It's not complex stuff.

The players insist that the owners' problems can be easily solved with some fiscal restraint. Take this year's Stanley Cup final. The two combat­ ants, Calgary and Tampa Bay, had the 19th and 20th highest payrolls in the league last year, respectively, prow ing that a Stanley Cup cannot be bought. As far as the NHLPA is con­ cerned, this begins and ends the argu­ ment on whether a salary cap is nec­ essary. But the players have conced­ ed, in their own way, that salaries have escalated. Instead of the hard salary cap the league insists on institut­ ing, the players have suggested a soft cap, meaning a salary level that, if exceeded, would result in the offend­ ing team paying a tax on the amount of money by which they exceed the limit.

The owners say no to a soft cap.

The players say no to a hard cap. And so the standoff continues. For how long, nobody knows.

So, while there may not be any NHL hockey this year, you may still get to see your favourite players lace up their skates in the Swedish Elite league, the Swiss league, the oncedefunct-now-upstart World Hockey Association, or the Original Stars Hockey League, a touring league of six teams. The OSHL hopes to excite restless hockey fans with 4-on-4 play, no centre ice line, no-touch icing, and penalties to be enforced as penalty shots, with a defender chasing the shooter.

The alternatives, though not espe­ cially thrilling, should satisfy the appetites of some hockey fans, but most will still suffer through the absence of the NHL season. Until the league and its players recognize that changes need to be made to the game, the NHL season remains on hold, and the health of the league rests on thin ice. ■

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the mcgill tribune | 219.04 | sports 2 3

S T A N DI N G S

Team

w

L T OTL PTS

Montréal Laval McGill Concordia Sherbrooke Bishop's

3 2 2 1 1 0

0 1 1 2 2 3

ON

Soccer (M)

Soccer (W)

Football

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

6 4 4 2 2 0

W L T Laval McGill Montréal Concordia UQÀM Bishop's Sherbrooke UQTR

2 2 2 1 0 0 0 0

PTS

0 0 6 0 0 6 0 0 6 0 1 4 1 1 1 2 0 0 0 2 0 0 2 0

Team

W L

T

PTS

McGill Montréal Laval UQÀM Concordia ETS UQTR Sherbrooke

2 2 2 1 1 0 0 0

0 0 1 1 1 1 2 2

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

6 6 6 3 3 0 0 0

BOX S C O R E

D EC K

REDMEN and MARTLETS SOCCER - Concordia @ McGill, Fri. Sept. 24, 6 and 8pm Molson Stadium Both McGill teams are hoping to up their records to 3-0 as they host the rival Stingers.

MARTLETS LACROSSE - Queen's @ McGill, Sat. Sept. 25, 11am Lower Field The team, led by OUA coach of the year Heather Roffey and all-conference player Claire Maturo, looks to continue improving after going winless in 2002 and 3-7 last year.

M o u n ic o t notches 100th w in; m en's g a m e postponed

Marc Mounicot, head coach of Martlets soccer team, became the second Quebec women's soccer coach in two days to earn his 100th win, as the Martlets dumped Bishop's 3-0 in Lennoxville on Sunday. Laval's Helder Duarte became the first to the magic number on Saturday, as his Rouge et Or also beat Bishop's 3-0.

Danielle Day scored the game-winner and an insurance marker for the Martlets, while keeper Victoria Villalba picked up the shutout to secure the I victory for Mounicot.

In Redmen soccer action on Sunday at ETS, the game was postponed after an ETS player suffered an apparent dislocated kneecap. The injury was serious enough to require a spinal board, which was not on site, so an ambulance had to be summoned. After paramedics arrived 45 minutes later, the game was | called off, as long delay caused havoc with other scheduled rentals of the SoccerPlexe Catalogna in Lachine. No make-up date has been announced.

M artlets keep on streaking

The McGill women's rugby team trounced Concordia 48-0 at Macdonald Campus on Sunday, extending their seven-year unbeaten streak to 44 games.

Third^ear player Jocelyn Barrieau opened the scoring with a try, and McGill never looked back.

Scrum half Maria Jaworski added three tries, while two-time McGill athlete of the week Tess Kelley con­ tributed a pair. Single tries were also notched by winger Teresa Casey and hooker Julia Leonard, while rookie Julianne Zussman added two conversions to round out the scoring.

The Martlets have now played four games this season, and have outscored their opponents by a combined 183-0 margin. They take on Bishop's for the first time this year on Friday.

BISHOP'S @ McGill Sat. Sept. 18, 2004 Score by Quarters

1 2 3 4 Score

.... 7 0 0 0 - 7 ... 14 0 17 7 -38

MLB - Phillies @ Expos, Fri. Sept. 24, 7pm at Olympic Stadium McGillians can get tickets for as low as $7.50 for this tilt, which may be the last Students' Night ever at the Big O.

BISHOP'S.: McGILl....

NFL - Packers @ Colts, Sun. Sept. 26, 4:15pm on FOX Brett Favre battles Peyton Manning as these Super Bowl con­ tenders tangle, and the stakes are high: the loser falls into an early hole at 1-2.

Scoring Summary:

MLB - Angels @ Athletics, Sun. Sept. 26, 8pm on Sportsnet The Red Sox seem to have the wild card sewn up, so Anaheim and Oakland's battle for the AL West crown takes on even more sig­ nificance.

ROUND THE HORN

Fifst quarter 02:44 McGill - M. Connell 2 yd run (R. Eeuwes kick) 06:50 BISHOP'S - K. Williams 1 yd run (A. Dyer kick

Cross-country team s struggle in first m e e t

Second quarter 14:57 McGill - C. McGuire 14 yd pass from M. Connell (R. Eeuwes kick) Third quarter 02:22 McGILL - R. Eeuwes 35 yd field goal 10:14 McGILL -M. Connell 1 yd run (R. Eeuwes kick) 14:47 McGilL - M. Samman 1 yd tun (R. Eeuwes kick Fourth quarter 00:08 McGill - R. Leblanc 15 yd pass from M. Connell (R. Eeuwes kick) STATISTICS BISHOP'S FIRST DOWNS..................

20 RUSHES-YARDS (NET)...........

26-71 PASSING YDS (NET)............

172 36-17-2 Passes AttCompTnt..........

TOTAL OFFENSE PLAYS-YARDS. 63-277

PATRICKFOK Jean-Paul Desjardins ♦ U3 Kinesiology ♦ Redmen Soccer

making our team more .visible.

We want to make our: games more enjoyable, and so far we've scored six goals in two games, so they've been fun to A: There's a lot of added watch. enthusiasm this year. We defi­ Q: You had your team's nitely want To win the Quebec league and earn our way into rookie night this past weekend. the tournament, but it's nice to Lots of people get uptight be guaranteed a spot too. ft's about hazing and stuff, so how ' great because now our goal is did you handle that?

A: I think a few incidents to peak; in time for the nation­ als, so our whole perspective really paint a bad picture. We don't get carried away or any­ has changed. thing. Rookie night is great, .

Q: With all the excite­ because we all let loose, and ment of the season at hand, it's like a rite of passage for what are the Redmen doing to the rookies. We oil have some drinks, and we shave the rook­ generate more fan support?

A: It's the little things— ies' heads. By the time the Tike talking to people in clippers come out, the rookies class— that go a long way in are fighting to go first. ■

Q: The CIS championship will be at McGill this year.

How does being the host team shape the outlook for this com­ ing season?

McGILL 25 36-135 243 27-17-0 66-403

LEADING RUSHERS: BISHOP'S-J. Armstrong 11-32; McGILL— M. Samman 20-84.

LEADING RECEIVERS: BISHOP'S-K. Godding 5-50; McGILL— G. Heatherington 6-89.

I | | |

The men's and women's cross-country teams each finished fifth at the McGill Open held on Saturday. There were ten men's and eight women's teams in the field.

The top male runner was Jeff McCabe, who fin­ ished 19th overall of 128 competitors in the men's 6 km in a time of 19:25. Just two seconds behind him in 21st place was McGill's Adrian Walton. The University of Western Ontario finished first overall.

On the women's, side, former McGill standout Sarah Ali-Khan, competing not for the Martlets but for a separate team under the banner McGill Olympic, finished second overall in the 4 km race. The top time that counted for the McGill women was Laura Wilson's 17th place finish-in 14:51, while Megan Vuksic was 19th in a time of 14:55. Western also claimed the women's team title. .

Im pact take A -L ea g u e crow n

The Montreal Impact, an A-League professional | soccer team, defeated the Seattle Sounders 2-0 Saturday to win their first A-League title since 1994. : Mauricio Vincello notched the game-winner 33 min­ utes into the match in front of an overflow crowd of 13,648 at Claude Robillard Stadium. The victory prevented the Sounders from winning back-to-back titles, and— although the A-League features five Canadian teams— brought the championship north of the border for just the second time.

INTRAM URAL C O R N ER Results

Flag football-Division A Sun, Sept. 19, 4thandlongs 28, Up the gut 0 Sun, Sept. 19, Competitors 6, Pack of thieves 6 U p co m in g gam es

Outdoor soccer-Women-Division A Tue, Sept. 21, 9:15pm, Givers vs. Managers Utd Wed, Sept 22, 9:15pm, Eye of the Tiger vs.

Physical in Bed Sun, Sept. 26, 6:15pm, Managers Utd vs.

Physical in Bed Sun, Sept. 26, 7:15pm, Eye of the Tiger vs. Meli Melo

Mon, Sept. 27, 7:15pm, Superstars vs. Giver

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