FOUR WEEKS HAULING THE SCRAPS OF MY BONES

FOUR WEEKS HAULING THE SCRAPS OF MY BONES wor d s

by

m

.

buchanan

With all selflessness and no ill feelings in mind.

For those who ran from suffering and all those left behind.

I T his

T his

hope

j oy

will

will

A lone

of

be

pump

my

like

e v ery

engine gasoline

hollow

A lone of e v ery bastar d d ream F oreign to col d hallways F ar from the d epths an d free

II P ure

v ictims

of

circumstance

O f that hell - boun d bag of bones I n the en d it ’ s gol d en an d true T he chaos an d the bloo d it d rew L osses cut an d

F or

the

F or

hope

gi v en

long the

roa d

up home

healing

P oure d out to lea v e this d rought F or now we ’ ll keep breathing

III A prayer C rooke d

to

my

d reams

beneath

A

hope

for

return

stow

the

my

;

v ices

not

smoke

shackles

;

to

your

an d

rust fears

d ust

lea v e

with

the

gust

B lesse d

wings

beneath

A

breath

to

strain

not

light

they

the the

bastar d s

your

reach

crushe d

clutching

your

crown

A

breath

to

the

bastar d s

anchoring

d own

A

breath

to

the

bastar d s hull

W retche d

seams

beneath

sow

that

tearing

the

; not

false

precious

nee d s

skull

IV O utrun the worry C hain away

P oun d

T rea d long weak limbs T rea d on now your

hoo v es

through

the

lonely

earth

W orth high , then further low S ow hopes roots as you go S low hope , slow light F low hope , flow light A ll hope , all light T rue hope , true light L ost hope , lost light L ast hope , last light

V I mprison smother

I’m

an d

begging pocket

your

j oy

hol d for

an d

it

the

the

one j ust

last like

truth

light

in

in my

time the my

fire

back

eyes

VI I’ve

been

pacing

my

way

aroun d

the

ben d s

And

if

tonight

you

’ re

tru d ging

roa d s

of

hell

T ake

that

struggle mu d d y

D on ’ t

raise

no

an d

chain

it

to

your

palms

flags

,

d on

’t

ring

no

bells

T rea d ing

C rushing

the

only

paths

wretche d

of

an d

coal

owning

the

through

it

toll

D rowning

the

hunch

to

row

flow

F inally

si d e

to

the

whole

’s

VII In

a

then

T hick

as

gust in

a

it

came

breath

thie v es

with

to it

me

left

lea v es

on

bree z e an d

then

they

fille d

my

chest

the

VIII T ear W ear

T race

me

apart

as

i

tore

you

me

d own

as

i

wore

you

the

fracture

T his through

is

my

an d

to

it

’s

war through

roots

IX P elting S inking

S en d ing gallows

C hoking the

to

the

skies

the

blues

the

halting

spark

a

ri v er

d ry

straight

breath

for

for the

the light

X F ree

Y our

will

beats

brittle

your

forwar d out

L ast

L et

me

steps be

d own

the

one

all at an d

To

at

the

en d

T he

of

or

pacing

now

car v e d

stone hallways

your

all

the

en d

of

glory

your

v ultures

rats

at

now

v ictories all

of

F ore v er T he rust d amage

d own

stan d ing

d own

an d

d oor

hells

your

en d

the

tear

of

front

failures

o v erhea d

un d erfoot your or

shiel d

the

healing

glow

marching

in

rows

XI T he

rain

flew

d own

with

a

gust

on

its

crown

It

throttle d

the

boughs

their

D own

the

long

roa d

but

lightene d

frown

,

through

d ea d

en d s

now

It

last

d rowne d

the

polishe d

F ar

past

d istance

the

hea v en

tar

now

H earts d o flourish an d N othing ’ s left stan d ing

an d

to

run

poun d to

as

one

anchor

the

bloom

To

shackle

D reary

H earts

or

polish

nights

d o

the

burn

flourish

ol d

out

an d

by

d ull the

poun d

as

gloom sun one

XII T here ’ s crooke d

a

chill

flow

on

that the

T he

v ultures

bree z e

d o

’s

my

bones

taking

an d

swings

a at

sea

caught

break

my

on

an

spirit

ill an d

flowing bust

my

gleam

T hese

bastar d

lungs

keep

growing

an d

sinking

My

T he

T hese wa v es

- boun d arms hell - boun d lungs

hell

ne v er

stop

crashing

themsel v es

And

fore v er

come

un d one

in

on

XIII H ere ’ s

to

And H ere ’ s

the

Of

to

ashes

e v ery

e v ery the

of

e v ery

long

threa d

en d ing

way in

of

tolling

out

the

stray

fray gnashing

roa d s

T he d earth of clo v en A n d all ol d se v ere d

d ay

fears glow

XIV

i

’ ll

U ntil d re d ge for

light lo v es

what

’s

cases

me

restless

owe d

to

me

seas

XV T here ’ s

a

storm

raging

afloat

B ut

when

you

’ re

ring

my

si d e in

on

an d

it

keeps

fears to

my

me

ears

only

d reams

XVI

No my

N o rust at my heals N o sleepless d awns N o fracture d rungs N o en d less thaws splits

name

in

an d

the

none

frame

that

shaking

throne

you

spell from

out your

XVII F our

weeks

hauling

the

scraps

of

my

bones

N ot weak or A ll free an d

crawling trawling

laps

on

my

for

wings

those

who

own

in

the

d rone

G ripping

an d

the

O we

H ol d

mauling

minor the

my

into

help

glory

C alm now until S oar an d flee

,

your

own

safe

the

’s

on

grown

harm

your

d welling

calling

that

tone

the

in

hammer

palm

has

the

flown

heart

XVIII F on d N ew

Razed

farewells wars

for

It shows

for

roun d

always

itself

ol d

long

M y crashing Y our failing T he last d ay

rolling

It

harmony

in

wars

goo d byes eyes

light comes

the

ben d

comes

the

cracks

of

the

banks

In an d

in

the

the

last

fa d ing

breath

light

of

e v ery

crashing

wa v e

Y our failing light , your fa d ing light Y our fa d ing an d failing harmony

Y our

glory

clenche d lost

in

with

the

e v ery

years

mooring

XIX R unning up the hill S wimming up the

of

stream

shattere d

My

lo v e

packe d

an d

port

T he

pillars

By an d

the

of

e v ery

past

e v ery

call

beating

final

e v ery

new of

v ow

bough

e v ery

strength

ruste d

of

d ragge d

of

its

e v ery

measure d

by

glow

wreckage all

new

growth

XX T he

crown

of

e v ery

skull

bowe d

in

sorrow

W ashe d

ashore

from

D ismantling

P ulsing on the C aught in

U nbroken

by

the

seas cruel

lack the

of

of

d ea d

ways ol d

v iolent

d amage

;

faith

hea d win d ways

pain

My

en d s

my

crown

of

ol d

XXI Y ou

Y ou

ga v e

sang

me

me

somewhere

the

long

to

d irge

d isappear for

ol d

M ore free than the first wa v e M ore free than the last d ay S a v e d by your full heart S afe from falling apart S afe from falling fast S afe from the shattere d mast

fear

XXII R un

L ea v e

J ust S en d

like

the

ri v er

like

the

bree z e

fast

calamity

enough

back

D ull

T hey

from

wings

float

P le d ge d an d

O nly

bury

d ays

of

to

where

it

d rop

an d to

flee

maim

plow

the soli d

frail gol d

now

came

XXIII F or a L ike L ike F or As

a

moment the

you

silent

swollen

en d e d

crash

empty

me

in

pits

my

my

frien d

d reams

for

gleam

L ike ol d worn ways L ike bitter d ays breath

As

As

wor d s

As

you

lost

in

caught from all

carrie d the

in

me

the

light

frien d

hea d win d hea d win d

F rost , Y eats my

my

an d

ingraine d

G ra v es

XXIV A nother v oice in the chorus C ar v e d out of stone B y rain of the years an d

A nother

raining

count

that

in

crashes

T hat T hat

d own your at

d ashes

at

long

T hat cashes in on T olling at its taking

what

thie v ing its

trea d

on on

to me

here near

grown own

my

fear

pace

will

until en d ing

my

v oice

hear

an d

it

hoarse

T hie v e

fa d ing

me

thrashes

coals

frien d frien d

XXV S lashing my an d

e v ery

through

kin d est

waywar d

roots

see d

caught

on

bree z e

S haking

v iolently

R unning asi d e ol d frien d s blin d C rashing into d reary lights S warming through W ith scathing light T he worl d still turns M y eyes still learn

the

XXVI P atterns throttle

On On

L ong the

On

the

On

On

out

ne v er of

shoul d ers

shoul d ers the

of

an d

Y ou your

teeth pai d strength

true

true

of

to

true of

shoul d ers

shoul d ers

W ith

your

d ebts

shoul d ers

the

the

repeat

of

ruin

selflessness true

true

loss

sacrifice

ri d e

han d s

G ently

i

slowly

come

to

hea v en

buckle un d one

XXVII A ll with

of

my

hopes

black

anchors

clou d s

S hun

of

C ast an d

out

S plitting cashing

in

on

E v ery

ways

shone

the

an d

free

wa v e

ol d

out

e v ery

E v ery

d ull

out

S hone

d raine d

ingraine d

sea

free en d less ri d e

crashing

by

d rift

XXVIII R ats in S nake B oughs L ong

I’ve

I’ve

watche d

watche d

the pit

cellar swells

less set

free

your

you

lea v es failing

change

escape

from

light

to

grey

I’ve

felt

you

teach

me

of

healing

an d

d emise

I’ve

watche d

an d

felt

through

rusting

eyes

T rust

End

the

in

me

to

lea v e

pace

to

the

End

the

race

truth

beat

to

be

of

in

my

false

torn

lines hearts

apart

XXIX P olish your woun d s H ol d your glory an d wear

all

K eep

of

hol d

your of

own

burie d

an d

burie d

an d

brittle

tarnishe d

W hen W hen W hen

failures goo d

tolls gol d

an d

ol d

e v ery

d ay

is

torn

e v ery

d ay

is

worn

e v ery

d ay

is

war

XXX B uil d ing

my

from

scraps

the

B one N ail

S hunne d by

by

the

L eft to

own

of

by

bone

by

nail

my

own

tracks an d

en d

hea v en

of

hell

hea v en hell

grown

the

frail

XXXI I’ve an d

seen wee d

struggle

out

F ol d ing

the

like

stowing

I’ve

the

watche d

that

you

L ea v ing

sink

blin d behin d

watche d

you

your

of

crown

your

halt

brightness

in

I’ve

creases

ti d es

the

tug

in

frown

the

tightly

the

ship

bay

away

an d

lea v e

terror true

march

v ictory

through

battle

groun d s for

I’ve as

near

watche d my

And it

years

woun d s

be

light

staye d

for

minute

a

buste d

B ut it to

low

to to

set

it

hea v y

lea d

sleep

as

below

clutter its

seams

again its

glow o v erhea d

wretche d

M y light sha d owe d Y our colour fa d ing

you

out

surface d

the

sunk

upon

sha d owe d

through

shiel d ing low

now

grey out out

F aultlessly an d not finally M y light choke d an d staine d Y our glimmer d ragge d away

XXXII C rooke d wings H ell - worthy gree d

C arrie d with true aban d onment C arrie d on the bree z e C arrie d on the gust aloft C arrie d with all ease

XXXIII T he

true

grace

an d

in

in

wreckage

d ownfall

I n the long haul I n the soaring in

the in

an d

T he an d

in

the

q uiet

leapt an d

ple d ge

d ownpour last

blackness

the

who

silent

the

of

call

our

sa v iour

with

q uietly

all

v ices abashe d

strength

crashe d

XXXIV L ast

of

your

terror

fleeing

pressure d

an d

your

escapes

I ’ v e lo v e d you through the years I ’ ll lo v e you to our gra v es K illers of hope breathe d own

the

T hey of

neck

han d

ol d

an d

S tirring

M ore your

T he with

q uiet

hoo v es

me

my

up

than

loneliness

W an d a ’ s

ways

restless our

that

d ays

memories

forgotten

S a v age

Of

of

greys

the

soun d

poun d

car v es d irge

the

groun d

groo v es

the

soun d

XXXV In

this

pit

of

true light

T his

T his

is

is

those

where

whose

sur v i v e

flourishing

A ching an d wretche d A rche d an d en d less is

for

no

flows

T he long push on O ff with the ropes T ire d an d d esperate for those who won ’ t

for

T his

blackness

those

left

behin d

d ie d

XXXVI C ast into battles , cast to the flames Y ears d rea d the mess we ’ v e fle d an d turn

L ast

of

the

their

hea d s

train

in

wrecks

shame

,

last

of

the

tame

S lowly an d

the

we

ble d

worst

for we

the

note d

T hrown asi d e , W an d ering d own

left the

best

we

their

left

names

behin d ri v ersi d e

XXXVII S ee

S welling the

hearts

ruiners they

My

resonance

an d

snappe d

apart

heartless

truly

guar d e d

to

who

are by

prison

T osse d for the ri v er T osse d for the wol v es W ith all mercy left

for

shi v er

bars

XXXVIII W oun d s

unwoun d

by

the

lonely

S oftly stowe d S lowly towe d D i v ing low

d own

the

T hrown who of

for

fee d all

who

ri v ers the

on

throat wol v es

the

the

slowly

glow

wa v es grow

soun d

XXXIX No No

H ours

hope

d ies

hope

lies

cycle

crushing

S oaring through

T he

only

limbs

through

an d an d

flying falling

bright

an d

breaking

grey

my

fall

are

own

W rap for

W ith an d

your

arms

my

en d less

R eape d iron

stowe d in

some

an d

aroun d

me

d rone

sown

’s

wings

it

away

its

d istant

flown plagues

place

my

XL I

fell

like

away

shores

from to

the

you blue

D ragge d out by the arms of the houn d s T he same arms all untrue T he same arms that beat through T orturing an d poun d ing the thorns in T hrashing the pillars thin C ashing their own re d emption in

XLI Y ou

nee d

your

B urrow L ay

eyes

on

to

cast

hellish

an d

nights d ay

me

d ust

that

ones

that

straight ones

out

col d

flawlessness

keeps

T he

claw

en d less

warmth

lea v ing

to

way

the

e v ery

the

T he

own

past

an d

you

in

yourself

away

lingers

boun d for

for

grasp

sha d e

out

they

ne v er

j oy

the at

the

houn d s your

heels

shining

foun d

XLII C ut short an d trea d upon T arnishe d an d all innocent W ith rusting eyes T rue d eath v iews an d

I

breathless

gloom

T he city tarnishe d B lack an d blue H alte d aghast T orn through you leapt the

for

pale

v oices an d

nights

of

engine

of

that

buil d ings

the

long

roa d

home

swells

d rone

XLIII B ra z en an d broa d shoul d ere d B less your peaceful shiel d s Y our d amage hi d d en an d

glimmering

yet

heale d

S leeping at peace for now N e v er the face of en d ing N e v er the face of regret

N e v er a N e v er

sinking the

face

rotting

abashe d d ecks

XLIV A ll

lo v e

then

boun d

un d one

T hrown

for

a

not

yet

d ug

gra v e

S hifting from the current S hifting from the wa v e

S hifting

with

all

its

might

so

bra v e

S hifting from the path that le d astray A ll light d ea d in its nest in the sky A ll hope ble d slowly an d d ry A ll peace throttle d an d left to d ie I ts ghost in the d istance ho v ers through

the

night

K eeping the ol d town in its sight K eeping si d e to the d ecline I n line at the gates of hea v en I n line with the hope an d light W aiting long K eeping bright

X LV T hey in

a

were ship

two of

F ull

worn

planks

rotting of

d ecks

j oy

C ommitte d to the d rowning C ommitte d to the wreck H ammere d with the weight of

N aile d in

a

this with

worl d all

single

grace

hurl

X LV I

On In

F ormless an d unbroken L ong stan d ing H ope king S weet an d fluttering C rooke d an d men d ing S traight to the en d ing the

I a

shoul d ers ha d n

blink

of

’t

slept

my

eyes

T hrown

d eaths in

25

years

forgot

d own

the

out

from

my

fears

well

T hen fetche d out all S tretche d out from

S tretche d

horsemen

clear here

further

to

near

X LV I I T he born

now

from

T he for

for

i

d ecay

hel d

pockete d

T he d issonance D usting off T he

grey

restless

harmony

now

rea d y

d ull

away

d ream

my

to

slay

shoul d ers

the

emptiness

weight carrie d

to it ’ s d eathly fate D ragge d again from light to grey T his engine leans on bitter hells

T he

j oy

is

pumping

an d

q uietly

swells

X LV I I I I’ve

It

floo d e d

watche d

that

through

o v er

you

bastar d

the

years

O ne d ay i ’ ll take its I ts gain will halt the

pure

swell

O v erhea d U n d erfoot

E v ery q uiet A roun d A roun d an d

will

the the

step its its

then

i

an d

will

floo d of of

watch

the

d ry

that

torment falsity it

sky

ring

long

towar d s

neck

’ ll

bloo d

touch

bells

neck

current

slip

grip

XLIX A

tremor

threw

the

P rayer for the T hat rolls for

A lone

from

unen d ing an d

those of

d ust

d rone

pulses

alone

the

bones

glory

A lone of the promise A lone of the free d om A lone with the fear A lone with the hunte d T hen houn d e d back here

L S o for now chip out our gra v es T hough ship out our en d ing to

d istant

I’ve

mappe d

out

an d

storms

will

d ays

trails

still

brew

abo v e

to

trea d

my

hea d

T he tolls will be taken but i ’ ll choke out the d rea d I ’ ll lea v e it to the win d lifeless

an d

ble d

M y d earest d o not lay your I promise you the bells will an d

all

j oy

has

not

fle d

hea d ring

LI A

ner v ous an

T he beat

C racks an d

the

bri d e

en d less circles d own

in

the

vs

war

of

her

hell d oor

floorboar d s

crushing

H er lea d chains H er shackles all

four

walls

engra v e d ingraine d

LII U nwrought the wan d er C ru d e an d cursory S titche d with miles

T hese four walls crashing T he full circle reaps I t rakes an d it lea v es I t takes an d it keeps

W ith

the

an d

My as

own

spee d

d eaths reins

d eaths

of

reins

go d at

stowe d

rain

at my

away

soaks

the

my

in

feet

heals for

now

fiel d s

LIII H ell sent its wol v es T hey left with my through

to

my

bloo d

their

front

d oor

swimming

j aws

I ’ ll d ance to their ol d fury one d ay O n the far si d e of the long haul T he slow crawl G athering the mourning S tar v ing the peace out A pplau d ing the long d rought T he bellowing fee d ing all d oubt

LIV B lackliste d Y oung man I ’ ll

by

a

keep

thinning

Y our

slaughtering home

Y our

my

the won

here

ri v ers

common

’t

enemy

sights

on

the

her d be

hear d

or

at

anymore

will

d ry

out

Y our stri d e will not strut its route Y our howling will not wail about Y our rotting will not fee d the d oubt H armony will run across the sky I ’ ll praise its tracks where v er i lie

LV It

fell

through

me

in

R elenting

an d

showe d

a

myself the

tarnishe d

back an d

trea d

ol d

F ore v er in d ebte d B orn into myself to to

earn

lea v e

To

en d

e v erything it

for

with

O ut

of i

q uietly

d ebts

pai d

myself

R eturning where

all

gol d

to

roots

once

lay

peace

‘True Hope’ Take these muddy palms and set them on the breeze.

Tread them through the skies and pound them on the seas.

I crash into it as the earth wails out your name.

Swallowed by every wave.

Sweep me away.

‫ייתומצע לש תויראשה תא םיררוג תועובש העברא‬