12.20 Rob Report, January 8, 2009, Volume 12, Issue 20, MauiTime by Maui Time

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VOLUME 12

ISSUE 29

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CONTENTS

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 29

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION Welcome 2009 with one word.

Editor: Jacob Shafer (Burp) Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw Coffee... Proofreader: Heather Nicholson Boo-ya! Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Doug Levin, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Illustration: Ron Pitts Photography: Sean Michael Hower Art Director: Brittany Shaw Luck Graphic Designer: Kellee LaVars Chili peppers Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Brothercanyousparesomechange? General Manager: Jennifer Russo Ocean Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Now? Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Blank Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

4 MAUI COUNTY

18 FILM

Go! pilots get a crash course in ire in Letters. Jared Libby gives a blow-by-blow account of Lahaina’s big MMA smackdown. Eh Brah! tees off on yet another SUV-straddling ex-L.A. road rager. Transsexuals and a deer-wrestling politician are fodder for News of the Weird. People go ga-ga over time-lapse photography in Click of the Week. Lingle’s lame duckitude and Hawaii’s lack of automatic gas pump switches are considered in Coconut Wireless.

Barry Wurst II says the film adaptation of The Reader lives up to the book. Plus, it kind of seems like he may have a (totally understandable) crush on Kate Winslet.

Rob Report celebrates 100 columns with a big old retrospective and a nod to the future. Here’s to 100 more.

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

22 Calendar Listings 23 Grid

14 ONO KINE GRINDS Paia’s Mambo Cafe is typical of the town: cool, laid back and an awesome place to chillax. Also: really good food and (bonus!) Maui Brew Co. beer on tap.

28 BACK PAGES 28 Adult Classifieds 29 Local Classifieds

15 Take 5

30 Sign Language

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com

16 MUSIC SCENE

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

Kate delves into the meaning of Maui reggae collective AnDen’s name (hint: it has nothing to do with the Swedish translation).

Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

20 DA KINE CALENDAR Kate gazes into her entertainment crystal ball and foresees the week’s choice events, including performances by S.O.J.A. and The Toadies and a talk by a vegetarian cartoonist.

8 FEATURE STORY

Publisher: Tommy Russo Optimism

19 Movie Listings

31 Mind, Body, Spirit

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I love News of the Weird (you should do that many every week!) but how come there are never any about Maui?

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Rodd Keith, Kahului Ed. Note: Because nothing weird ever happens here. Seriously, NOTW is written by a syndicated freelancer who casts a wide net and writes about odd occurrences from around the globe. He does occasionally hit on Hawaii’s strange happenings.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR 400 B.C. Body in Balance invites you to a

down musically. The Alliez are exacty that—nothing new to offer other than being sorta-local and cool. To quote Ynez at the end of the article, “Because when these guys make it big, we’ll all be bragging that they’re from Maui, and we saw them first.” Think not; I’d be ashamed that they’d represent Maui when so many more awesome musicians live and work here, although they aren’t hip, cool, “in,” sexy, rad, seen at the parties etc. This is a rant on their music, not the boys personally. They are cool dudes, really.

Here’s a quote to add to your quotes of the year, from Plato: “Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.” D. Reed, Kihei

GO! DIRECTLY TO JAIL Re the go! pilots who fell asleep at the controls [“Coconut Wireless,” January 1]: Their names “are being withheld.” Why? Why do they deserve any kind of protection? If they already admitted to falling asleep, put their names out there—the public has a right to know! We put our lives in their hands every time we step on a plane. The least we can expect is for them to stay awake and, if they don’t, to be held accountable. Honestly, that should be a crime, on the same level as malpractice for a doctor. I say lock ‘em up and throw away the key. Jaymee Gray, Waikapu

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Awesome job, Ynez Tongson! Nice write-up on The Alliez [“Alliez on them,” January 1], they are an awesome new band here on Maui. I think they sound like Sublime with a mixture of reggae and they’ve got the best sax player ever, Paul Bunuan. This is what I’m talking about: educate the people of Maui about the bands that are out there making a difference in whatever way they can. This is a great start for 2009! Happy New Year all!

TERSE VERSE I fly go! They go! sleep No mo’ I fly go! I fly Island Air, submitted online at mauitime.com

Ipo Kahele, submitted online at mauitime.com

LESS THAN SUBLIME Actually disappointed you had to do a write up on a band that follows the Sublime paradigm. For God’s sake musicians, get over the Sublime typecasting. I wish Bradley Nowell were still alive to beat you down for imitating his soul, presence and vocal stylings. Also personally glad Kate didn’t write this article, she has retained her credibility by not covering a flash in the pan copycat band. There is truth to the fact that this generation has been dumbed

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEND YOUR LETTERS to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), post (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number. We reserve the right to edit letters. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Maui Time Weekly.

MAUICOUNTY

BY JARED LIBBY JARED@MAUITIME.COM

Hazardous conditions Maui’s first MMA event in seven months hits Lahaina like a punch to the face he popularity of Mixed Martial Arts has skyrocketed over the last decade and Maui fans were hungry for action Saturday night as they descended on the Lahaina Civic Center for Hazardous Warfare. The event featured eight bouts with fighters from all over the islands and included a main event that saw Kula boy Brandon “The Viper” Visher— ranked third among featherweights statewide—take on ninth ranked Dan “The Mad Mongoose” Moreno. Local fighter turned promoter Dominic “Mr. International” Ah Nee— along with help from his wife Christi, his family and over a dozen sponsors— put on the fight, ending a seven-month MMA drought in Maui. He said attendance was more than 1,000, and his first event was a success. “It’s good for the fans; there hasn’t been a fight on Maui since May,” said Ah Nee. “It’s good for the fighters too. I train with these guys every day. They train hard, sometimes twice a day, but then there’re no fights for them.” The under-card featured five bouts. Matches consisted of two 5-minute rounds, followed by a 3-minute overtime if necessary. The first fight of the evening ended quickly with Rilley “The Perfect Storm” Dutro defeating Gerald “The Game” Gamit in 50 seconds with a guillotine choke. The eighth ranked lightweight, P.J. Brown, took the second match over Tyler “The Pit-bull” Kahihikolo by unanimous decision. Brown controlled most of the match on the ground, despite a late flurry from Kahihikolo.

Photos by Jared Libby

Maui boy Jake “The Animal” Yasui won the light-heavyweight bout defeating Makana Bertido with a rear-naked choke late in the first round. “I told my wife this was my last one,” Yasui said following the fight. But judging from the crowd’s reaction, no one really believed him. The fourth fight of the night was another quick one. Oahu’s Tim “Magic” Moon, a purple belt in ju-jitsu, submitted Jaron Garcia of the Big Island with an anaconda choke 34 seconds into the first round. The fifth and final fight before intermission was one of the most actionpacked of the night. Seventh-ranked middleweight Ron “The Workhorse” Veradero battled Chris “All Day” Long in an epic toe-to-toe slugfest that required the night’s only overtime round to decide the winner. Both fighters threw plenty of leather, but Veradero had more gas in the final round and pounded Long into submission. Intermission saw a performance by local dance troop 808 Funk Lords. Ah Nee also addressed the crowd, thanking everyone who made the drive and all the fighters who came to put on a show for them. The first fight following the break pitted David Pakele against fan favorite Shawn Kalani Brown, who made short work of his opponent, scoring a knock-out with a series of vicious over-head strikes just 22 seconds into round one. “This was for my kids,” Brown told emcee and ring announcer Kawika Veeka of “Da Jam” 98.3 FM after the fight. “I haven’t always been there for them, but now I can make them proud. I want them to say ‘Hey, dat’s my dad over there.’”

Through tears and laughter, Brown told the crowd MMA was now his primary focus. “In 2009, I’m here to stay,” he shouted. Next up were the big boys. Heavyweights Auggie “The Warrior” Padeken battled Joshua “The Silent Monster” Ofiu. Both men weighed in at over 250 pounds and shook the entire gymnasium as they battled it out. Ofiu took the bout with a TKO near the end of the first round. The hearing-impaired Ofiu thanked the crowd using an interpreter and announced his intentions to take on ninth ranked heavyweight Jake Faagai. The main event featured two ranked fighters and was by far the most technical, back-and-forth fight of the night. Ninth-ranked Don “The Mad Mongoose” Moreno, a lanky, shifty featherweight, took on Kula’s own Brandon “The Viper” Visher. Both fighters seemed to have the upper hand at certain points throughout the fight. Fighting primarily on the ground, each fighter took his turn in control on top or on his back in the guard. Several reversals and slams had the crowd in a frenzy. Finally, Visher was able to move into a mounted position locking his legs above Moreno’s hips. Moreno gave up his back in an attempt to escape, which allowed Visher to finish him off with a rear-naked choke late in the second round. Ah Nee said putting the event together was an educational experience. “We learned some things, what works and what we can do better next time,” he said. Ah Nee added that he hopes next

time will be before June, when the state is set to put new sanctioning restrictions on MMA fights. With lights, music, smoke machines, break-dancers and go-go dancers tossing T-shirts into the crowd, it’s clear Ah Nee is keenly aware that to hype fights, you also need to put on a show. “It’s entertainment,” he said. “We try to make it a whole night out.” MTW

Photos (clockwise from left): 808 Funk Lords perform; Jake “The Animal” Yasui applies a rear-naked choke to Makana Bertido; Victorious Brandon Fisher and trainer.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This goes out to the guy who moved over here from Southern California and brought with him his O.C. road rage. Never slowing down to let anyone cross the street or pull in front of him, for fear he’d miss one episode of The Hills or Arnold Schwarzenegger blowing his nose on TMZ. Slow down and relax dude! This ain’t the Mainland. You might be able to sell more timeshares when you take in the scenery and enjoy the ‘aina a little more. That way you can buy another Mercedes or BMW. Or spend the money you make in an hour on another $400 pair of sunglasses, so no one sees your eyes when you zoom past the little old lady trying to cross the street with her groceries, cuz she doesn’t want to drive and pollute our air like you do so well back home in Cali. Get with the aloha spirit, or go back to the Mainland and take your smog with you. Be like me—I came from the O.C. but I’m in counseling now, and I drive a Cadillac Escalade hybrid.

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JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS KIND Aggressive police questioning of a weak-willed suspect can produce an occasional false confession, but experts now believe that six men in a single case, and four in another, confessed to group crimes they did not commit, even though some described their roles in vivid detail. Recent DNA evidence in a 1989 Beatrice, Neb., murder case implicated only a seventh man, and similar evidence in a 1997 Norfolk, Va., murder case implicated only a fifth man, who insists he acted alone. (Governors in both states are currently mulling pardons for the men.) It is still possible that the six, or the four, are guilty as charged and that the DNA was left in completely separate attacks on the victims, but the more likely explanation, say psychologists, is that people with low selfesteem or mental problems, or who are drug- or alcohol-addled, are more easily convinced of fantasy.

BUT DO THEY GET THEIR OWN BATHROOM? Australia’s Human Rights and Equal Opportunities Commission announced plans in December to create a third official gender for government identification: “intersex,” for transsexuals, whether or not they have had surgery. Immediately, activists from Sex and Gender Education Australia called the proposal inadequate, demanding a fourth gender, also, for people who feel that “gender” is either “undefinable” or subject to daily changes of attitude.

THE BUCK STOPS HERE Maryland lobbyist and former state assemblyman Gilbert Genn was attacked by a deer outside his home in November, butted to the ground

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

and repeatedly stabbed by the buck’s antlers in the chest and groin. Genn told WTOP Radio that after finally realizing he was in a life-or-death struggle, he managed to subdue the animal by the antlers long enough to tire it and cause it to flee. Bleeding badly, Genn said he disregarded his wife’s admonitions to get to the hospital and instead dressed the wound himself and headed off for a scheduled meeting in Annapolis with Speaker of the House Michael Busch. “There was no way I could miss this meeting,” he told the reporter. Only afterward did he report to the emergency room.

BLOWING SMOKE In November, the Great American Insurance Co. (Cincinnati, Ohio) sought a declaration in federal court in Houston that it was not liable to pay death benefits from a 2007 office fire because the three victims did not die from “fire.” The company pointed to an exclusion in the policy for death by “pollution” (thought by most people to cover only toxic industrial discharges) and argued that the three victims were actually asphyxiated by smoke, which is “air pollution.”

MAUI’S ONLY CLASSIC ROCKER A little comedy, a little vicodin, a little haole on the mic, a lot of great rock ‘n’ roll

DENSE DEFENSE Eugene Falle, 35, was acquitted of murder in Edmonton, Alberta, in December, as jurors apparently accepted his claim of self-defense even though the victim had 39 stab wounds. Falle said he was forced to keep stabbing the man because of previous threats by the victim and his gang and that the victim “wouldn’t bleed properly the way he should’ve bled, according to the movies.” And in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Sydney Teerhuis, on trial for killing a man, claimed self-defense even though he admitted not only stabbing the man 68 times but having sex with the body during the spree. However, unlike Falle, Teerhuis was convicted. MTW

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Everybody loves time-lapse photography—what’s the deal with that? The sappy answer would be that it appeals to our desire for immortality, our yearning to see the big picture. The more cynical explanation is that it stimulates our short attention spans; who has time to, like, wait for a flower to bloom? Whatever the reason for its popularity, “One Year in 40 Seconds,” a video by some dude named Erik Solheim that shows a lightly wooded meadow going through 365 days of cyclical transformation in under a minute, has become one of those “Internet sensations” all the kids are talking about. With the New Year only a week old, the window for seasonal self-reflection is still open, and this click helps. Plus, it’s really short. –JS FIND IT AT...

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

The big one-double-oh Rob Report reaches the century mark any of us are fascinated by numbers—big numbers, round numbers, square numbers. The number 100 qualifies on all accounts. We think of giving 100 percent, living to be 100, the Billboard Top 100 song list. This week hails the 100th Rob Report column in Maui Time Weekly. My, how time flies when you’re having a good time. But how did we get here? Well, the Rob Report was resurrected in late 2006, in the waning days of Mayor Alan Arakawa’s administration. Since January 2003, I had been serving as Maui County’s Environmental Coordinator, as an executive assistant to the mayor. Charmaine Tavares had beaten Arakawa in the November election, and would take the reins in 2007. Maui Time editor Anthony Pignataro phoned and inquired whether I would be staying on in my same role with the new administration. He and I had talked often over the past couple years, and I appreciated his ability to read between the lines of the goings-on in local politics.

reach to keep community members apprised of planning issues, upcoming meetings, and ways to provide input to our decision makers. E-mail addresses were culled from those who had signed petitions

The abiding impetus behind the Rob Report is to provide information which will allow everyone to do something/anything to improve the community in which we live. “Nope. She’s bringing in her own team,” I told Pignataro. It felt a bit more harsh than what I let on, having received my “pink slip” just three days before Christmas. Though the resume and application I submitted were bolstered by 20 letters of support—including letters from county, state and federal agencies, local nonprofits and Maui Community College (MCC)—I wasn’t even afforded an interview. I had become a political casualty. Pignataro offered his sympathies, and very quickly offered, “Maybe you’d like to consider doing some writing for us.” And thus the Rob Report was born—or, more accurately, reborn. You see, back in 2000, the Rob Report began as a broad e-mail out-

JANUARY 08, 2009

in support of efforts to “Save Baldwin Beach/Stop Spreckelsville Sprawl” and similar efforts island-wide. Modest attempts were made to keep the e-newsletter concise and interesting, including colorizing some fonts and inserting inspirational quotes, so that readers wouldn’t merely hit their “delete” button. The response was heartening. Many on the list forwarded the Rob Report to family, friends and neighbors. People showed up at meetings, wrote letters to the paper and mailed in testimony when they couldn’t be there in person. “The abiding impetus behind the Rob Report,” I wrote back in 2002, “is to provide information which will allow everyone to do something/anything to improve the community in which we live. Awareness is the first step, and coupled

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

with action, creates the empowered ‘ohana. Having key people in leadership positions is essential, and we also need to each do our part, whatever we choose it to be. Whatever you choose to do, I applaud your efforts!” he early e-mail Rob Report also served as a campaign outreach tool, to inform and inspire environmentally conscious citizens. I tossed my hat into the political ring, first running for a County Council seat in 2000, then for Mayor in 2002. In both cases, our strong environmental platform brought enough votes for a third-place finish, sufficient to help the second place challengers (Michael Molina in 2000, Arakawa in 2002) defeat the incumbents seeking re-election. During the 2002 mayor’s race, we launched an ambitious print ad campaign,

and were one of the only candidates who advertised with Maui Time Weekly. At that time, they were featuring food, music and surfing articles, and had not yet found their political voice. We deemed the young reader demographic as vital to landing votes. Armed with great photography by Robie Price, my wife Heather and I met with MTW owner and Publisher Tommy Russo, who was tremendously supportive in collaborating on our print ad strategy. Our final ad before the primary election was the icing on the cake. With the same font as the popular bumper sticker, it read, simply, “Eddie Would Vote.” Shortly after the 2002 primary, my computer unceremoniously dumped a Photo: (below) Run Rob, run. Parsons for mayor, 2002.

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

able energy; water resources and allocafew of my e-mail lists, comprising tion; South Maui planning, especially the hundreds of names of Rob Report large projects of Makena Resort and recipients. Shortly after, it crashed Wailea 670; and local food security. All completely. are recurring themes of the Rob Report, My environmental outreach which has become a persistent voice callbroadened during my four-year ing for that often-touted but rarely impletenure as Maui County mented concept: sustainability. Environmental Coordinator. I spoke The 2007 Focus Green lecture series on the mayor’s AKAKU-TV shows, provided ample subject matter, with on radio call-in programs, at community and service organization meetings. I submitted Viewpoint articles to The Maui News on eco issues, and wrote for the county newsletter, the High Street Journal, the brainchild of Lynn Araki-Regan of the Office of Economic Development. I contributed information to Maui Time’s Pignataro and freelance writer Cheryl Ambrozic on environmental topics ranging from cruise ships to (the lack of) a Ma’alaea Harbor pump-out facility, and from coqui frogs to Kapalua Hotel demolition. Still, I was new to the rigors of some of North America’s foremost ecomeeting a weekly newspaper deadspeakers on-hand. Robert Kennedy, Jr. line, and the challenge of keeping my warned of the two-pronged dangers columns fresh, interesting and accubrought about by corporate-controlled rate. It seemed that as soon as one media and lack of campaign spending article hit the streets on Thursday, it reform. He related the distressing legacy would be time to sit down and write of President George W. Bush’s systematfor the following week. ic dismantling of My writing environmental legisoften fell on weeklation, at the behest ends to meet a of the big business Monday deadline, cronies he appointed making it necesto key administration sary to research positions. info, make conI did an interview tacts and solicit with James Howard comments during is the Kunstler, author of the regular work The Geography of week. And on of Nowhere and The more than a few HECO’s support for Long Emergency. occasions, I was imported Both are sobering well into the accounts of how weekend without by Rob Parsons cheap oil fueled nearany good idea of page 12 ly every significant the topic of the societal shift of the upcoming col20th century, including the Americanumn. It gave me great appreciation born design of roads, highways and for those who toil at daily newspaurban sprawl, built around easy access to pers, where deadlines are often conmalls and big box stores (which in turn densed into a 24-hour period. grew to prominence because of cheap Quickly I fell into a rhythm with transportation and shipping costs). Pignataro, who invariably made my I wrote of Canadian scientist David weekly submissions tighter and betSuzuki’s plea to act quickly to reverse the ter. That good fortune has continued environmental degradation wrought by over the past several months with Homo sapiens. “We have arrived not just MTW’s new editor, Jacob Shafer, who at the eleventh hour,” said the creator of succeeded Pignataro. the PBS series, Nature, “but it is the fiftyAt first, I wrote about what I knew ninth minute.” I juxtaposed his combest: environmental issues, island ments with the County Council majority’s planning challenges and possible apparent willingness to approve a private solutions beyond the status quo. I was golf course and 1,400 housing units on fortunate to land some temporary the arid South Maui lands at Wailea 670. grant funding that allowed me to conThat planning issue grew into a cover tinue researching and advocating for story, “Ho’ala, The Awakening” (8/23/07). some of the most vital topics: renew-

Three local activists shared their insight and feelings of being awakened to the dangers posed by over-development, after exercising their Native Hawaiian rights to access the as-yet-undeveloped land for gathering and spiritual purposes. The four-page spread, with Pietro Ortiz’s chicken-skin cover photo, was, in my humble opinion, one of the most compelling layouts ever in Maui Time.

I tossed my hat into the political ring, first running for a County Council seat in 2000, then for Mayor in 2002. In both cases, our strong environmental platform brought enough votes for a third-place finish.

I APRIL 3, 2008

I VOLUME 11

I ISSUE 41

I MAUITIME.COM

I FREE EVERY THURSDAY

Apparently the ever-present call for construction jobs and to expand real estate inventory superceded any urgency to preserve remnant native Hawaiian plant habitats and cultural sites—as the project was approved in March 2008. The ongoing examination of the potential for biofuels to replace our huge dependence on imported petroleum

gave rise to a number of columns. Hawaiian Electric Company (HECO) claims that building biodiesel megarefineries on Oahu and Maui would jumpstart local agribusiness ventures for growing oil crops didn’t stand up to number-crunching or public opinion. When it became apparent that HECO and Maui Electric Company (MECO) planned to replace imported petroleum with palm oil, the issue grew into a second cover story. “Deadly Price” (4/3/08) detailed how Southeast Asia’s rainforests, endangered species and indigenous people are suffering while the rest of the world debates turning food crops into fuel. Another stunning layout, with images provided by the U.K.’s NatureAlert.org, framed the article. Seven months later, I scooped a story, “Biofueling the Fire” (11/6/08), revealing a lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Dallas, Texas. BlueEarth Biofuels, which had proposed building a 120-million-gallon per year biodiesel refinery on Maui filed suit against HECO, MECO, Aloha Petroleum and HECO’s Senior Vice President Karl Stahlkopf, claiming breach of contract and disclosure of proprietary information. Columns about wind, solar, wave energy and energy conservation served up better ideas than the misguided HECO palm oil plan.

MAUI’S ONLY LOCALLY OWNED INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER

This

price

palm oil

Continued on page 10

(left) Exposing the dark side of palm oil; (right) Rob with Presidentelect Obama’s half-sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Continued from page 9 n addition to the Rob Reports and cover stories, I added some shorter news pieces over the past two years. “Ferry Godmother” described Governor Linda Lingle’s plan to grant Hawaii Superferry’s wish and allow the vessel’s backers to ignore a Supreme Court ruling that would have kept it anchored until an EIS was completed. I did campaign profiles for promising state legislative hopefuls Summer Starr and Tasha Kama, and “Ain’t No Sunshine” covered court proceedings on a legal challenge as to whether Wailea 670 hearings abided by state provisions for open meetings. Preceding her visit to Maui, I did a phone interview with Maya Soetoro-Ng, Barack Obama’s half-sister. On her way to the airport for a rally in Hilo, she was generous with her time and gracious in praise for her older brother. “Sister Act” (9/25/08) offered a candid glimpse into the family of the President-elect. That article prompted an e-mail weeks later from a Polish TV network that was sending a correspondent to Hawaii. Lukasz Chatys asked me to help their reporter make contact with key people on Oahu. Although Maya was on the Obama campaign trail at the time, the news of her and Barack’s ailing grandmother brought him back to Hawaii unexpectedly, a sad though serendipitous turn of events for the Polish news program. Long distance response came in on two other columns. David DuByne is a former Maui resident who was living in Thailand when he wrote back with input on biofuels. Now living in China, DuByne writes English as a second language books, and has a keen interest in the Asian push toward biofuels. Just last week, a flash from the past crossed my computer screen. David Paquette delighted audiences at Lahaina’s Pioneer Inn for a decade with his New Orleans-style jazz and blues piano artistry and growling vocals. I mentioned him in my Christmas memories column, and he wrote back to share the latest news of his gigs in Sydney, Australia, and at jazz festivals in New Zealand and Europe. Those international responses are reminders of how far and how fast things travel on the information superhighway. Information is powerful, and can help us make educated choices in our lives. As the Rob Report enters a new year, my thanks go to all of you faithful readers. My hope is that you will share these columns widely and that we may all join together to help influence positive change, both here on marvelous Maui and across this amazing planet. MTW

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Blast from the past An early e-newsletter from Rob Parsons, circa 2002

**EMPOWER THE ÒHANA**PRESERVE THE ÀINA** Aloha kakou! Mahalo to all of you faithful readers of The Rob Report! This edition of TRR includes these highlights: 1)Quote(s) of the Week 2)Quick History of TRR 3)Ethics Matters: Molina and Johnson 4)Issues Updates; Kahului Sprawl, Makena 5)Campaign Preview QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "If voting could really change things, it would be illegal." --(restroom graffiti), Revolution Books. New York, New York. QUICK HISTORY OF "THE ROB REPORT" Of course, that's the cynical view; our voice doesn't really matter. However, it is the goal of The Rob Report outreach of information to overcome that belief. The Rob Report was born nearly two years ago, as a means to connect concerned community members with campaign issues. When my own campaign for Council ended at the primary election, TRR continued. With e-mail outreaches varying from every two weeks to two months, I aimed to not add to the deluge of unsolicited e-mails many of us often face. Feedback has always been the greatest part, as TRR takes on a life of its own each time any of you send it along to your òhana. Mahalo to all of you who have participated in any way by reading this report, and especially to those who have chosen to take actions to defend our precious àina! (Disclaimer: The Rob Report is in no way, shape, or form intended to imitate, or lampoon The Robb Report, which is a very different sort of publication!) BOARD OF ETHICS MEETING, FRIDAY, JULY 26, 11AM--4:30PM Agenda Items: Molina opinion reconsideration, and anonymous complaints filed against Jo Anne Johnson. Where: Planning Commission Meeting Room, Ground Floor, Kalana Pakui Building (next to the County Building, just south, same parking lot.) Ethics in Government??!! Is it an oxymoron? What will the new mayoral appointees to the Board of Ethics do with the reconsideration of the Molina opinion? The original unanimous decision was that his ownership in a family trust property less than a mile from Seibu-Makena lands constitutes a conflict of interest, and that he must recuse his vote on Makena rezoning. While Pat Kawano was absent due to his illness, Molina represented the swing vote on Makena. His inability to vote stymied Makena zoning approvals. Inside scoops believe that the original decision will be overturned. As earlier reported, two of the new Board of Ethics members (Realtor Tamio Iwado, and Riki Hokama's brother-in-law, Barry Helle) actually faxed their applications for the BOE the day after the February 8-0 opinion. Coincidence? PLEASE CONSIDER ATTENDING THIS MEETING TO BEAR WITNESS TO THE PROCESS! Recent messages forwarded regarding the complaints lodged against Jo Anne Johnson precipitated several wonderful letters to the editor, and a great Maui News editorial, "Council Conflict Requires Swift Resolution." I loved the letter from Amy Chang of Haiku, which concluded with, "Jo Anne Johnson is the shining light of our Council!"

While Jo Anne's ethics complaints are on the Friday agenda, it is entirely possible that the Board may not get to them by the time independent counsel (from the Big island) has to leave. Still, it is important to be there to demonstrate support. Hope to see you! ISSUES UPDATE 1) Kahului Sprawl: Council Approval of 177 ag acres for more light industrial/ retail usage. A huge "Sprawl-o Mahalo" to everyone who used the easy Maui Tomorrow Web site click-on link to e-mail council members about this matter at the end of May. Despite at least 80 e-mails opposing the late re-insertion of this Wailuku-Kahului Community Plan redesignation, and a dozen testifiers (no one in favor), the Council passed this A&B request. Wayne Nishiki and Jo Anne Johnson made a valiant effort to move not to include this plan without an Environmental Assessment, (which can only be excused during Community Plan revision). Six other councilors voted to approve. Their votes for the short-sighted plans of the island's largest landowner (A&B owns 69,000 acres on Maui alone) ought to be challenged at every upcoming campaign forum. 'Tis the season to expose this folly! 2) Seibu-Makena Rezoning Requests Word has it that this political hot potato will not resurface until after the 2002 campaign. The Molina decision, as well as the appointment to fill the Moloka`i Council seat of the late Pat Kawano may possibly change that. Kawano's choice to succeed him, former Council aide Danny Mateo, might be expected to follow Kawano's previous vote to approve Makena rezoning as proposed. Or, Mateo could prove to be his own man, and represent the broader wishes of the Maui community, which has grave concerns regarding the ability of infrastructure (water, traffic, schools, etc.) to support ANY more development there. BONUS QUOTES OF THE WEEK: "Politics is the entertainment branch of industry." --Frank Zappa "It's a marvelous night for a Moondance." --Van Morrison CAMPAIGN PREVIEW Who might be lunatic enough to enter the big dance for a political seat? Read all about it in the Maui News. Sift through the political ads, the rhetoric. Read the alternative press, especially the Haleakala Times. But above all......REGISTER TO VOTE!!! Mark my words, there WILL be some good candidates running, representing positive change from the bureaucratic, big moneyrun crap we usually associate with politics. There is still a full month to register for the September 21st primary election, or to re-register if you have moved in the past years (as we have). The Verizon phone book has an easy registration form in the front pages. Or, sign up at the Wednesday night movies at the MACC. Or, call the County Clerk's office at 270-7749 and ask them to send you a form. DO IT TODAY!! Yes, the abiding impetus behind The Rob Report is to provide information which will allow everyone to do something/ anything to improve the community in which we live. Awareness is the first step, and coupled with action, creates the empowered `ohana. Having key people in leadership positions is essential, and we also need to each do our part, whatever we choose it to be. Whatever you choose to do, I applaud your efforts! Malama pono, Rob & Heather Parsons

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JANUARY 08, 2009

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COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

the quiet champagne toast thing but decided to walk to the beach as the hour drew near, to maybe watch some fireworks from afar and meditate on the crashing waves and the cyclical, erosive nature of time and stuff. I have suffered less lung damage standing two feet from a raging heap of burning tires and asbestos shingles on a windy day (seriously, I used to do that all the time) than I did on that three-block stroll. After less than an hour in the hazy outdoors, I ushered in 2009 with a raw throat and hacking cough. Again, not trying to sound like Old Man Killjoy here (I’ve set off a bottle rocket or two in my day) but maybe, like, more centralized parties and less individual driveway displays would be a good thing for everyone’s respiratory health. Am I alone here?

FRIDAY, JANUARY 2

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31 Ah, 2008—the memories we shared. We’ve already dedicated enough ink to retrospectives and wrap-ups, so I’ll just add mine to the chorus of voices saying: good riddance. It was, all in all, a year to forget, even if it was punctuated by occasional moments of hope. (Or at least a somewhat hopelike emotion. Maybe more hope mixed with dread. We’ll call it “drope.”) At any rate, let’s all welcome 2009 with minds and arms open. It’s like a new houseguest: just because the last guy ate all your food, left a mysterious stain on the sheets and possibly stole your wife’s earrings doesn’t mean you should treat the next person with suspicion. Or actually, come to think of it, maybe it does. We’ve got our eye on you, 2009.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 1 OK, I know New Year’s Eve is one of a few sacred, marked-on-the-calendar excuses to get drunk and play with explosives; far be it from me to spoil everyone’s good time. But man oh man, the smoke. We stayed in with the toddler and a few friends and did

The new County Council was inaugurated this morning, with Danny Mateo taking over as chairman from termed-out Riki Hokama. And so begins our new award-winning segment (yes it’s just now being launched and has already won multiple awards), Nishiki Watch, in which we see how long it takes the council’s new/old member to follow through on his promise to pay off the $100,000 loan from developer Everett Dowling that earned him a date with the Board of Ethics and some serious post-election heat. When I interviewed Nishiki before breaking the story last month, he told me he was going to do “everything in his power” to secure another source of financing so he could get out from under his debt and be free to vote on Dowling projects. As each day passes and that doesn’t happen, we have to conclude Nishiki was either a) being less than truthful; or b) that he doesn’t have what it takes to get a loan of that size and thus the deal with Dowling was of the sweetheart variety. Either way, not a good start to a new tour of public service… In other news: Recently, Publisher Tommy Russo and I were debating when it will be accurate to call Gov. Lingle a lame duck, if it isn’t already. By the strictest definition, elected officials are lame ducks the moment they begin their concluding term. But generally the phrase doesn’t come into use until a politician enters his or her final year and especially after a successor has been chosen (Lingle’s reign expires in 2010). So what’s the term for a politician who’s

OVERHEARD... “I cut it off for him last year and it just grew back.” - Woman on her cell phone in Wailuku

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

stuck in the middle—not yet with one webbed foot out the door, but rapidly approaching lame duckitude: Wounded water bird? Fractured fowl? Maladriot mallard? I leave it to you.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 3 OK, here’s the caveat: despite taking a couple econ classes in college that I really do kind of remember, I am not an economist. Very, very far from it, in fact. But that isn’t going to stop me from commenting on an AP story printed in today’s Maui News under the headline, “Wall St. Enjoys Upbeat Start to ’09.” The gist is that the Dow went up 250 points to close above 9,000, numbers which we’ve been led to believe are extremely meaningful and, well, alright fine, if you say so. But here’s the part that bugs me: “The market lived up to the hopes of many analysts that it would have a fresh start in the new year after a horrific 2008.” Great, a fresh start! Only one problem: the New Year, in real terms, is meaningless. It’s just a day we’ve arbitrarily agreed to flip the calendar and start using a different four-digit number, which is also completely arbitrary. (And don’t give me that Jesus stuff; nobody knows exactly when he was born, and even if we did, counting off the years from the birthday of an Iron Age desert preacher, no matter how swell of a guy he was, is the very definition of arbitrary.) Anyway, my point is: if the Dow can rally over something as inconsequential as the New Year, isn’t that proof that it’s just a made-up figure that fluctuates in unpredictable and often nonsensical ways, and maybe isn’t the barometer we should be using to gauge the health of our economy or anything else? I’m not saying discard it altogether—I’m willing to believe those numbers are somehow connected to real people and their real money—but maybe we’re overdue for some boulder-sized grains of salt?

If it looks like a lame duck... between the President-elect and the nation’s governors. She defended the decision by citing time constraints and more pressing responsibilities (though during the campaign she seemed to find plenty of room in her schedule to stump for McPalin and speak at the GOP convention). Now it comes out that Obama turned up his nose at the notion of a meet-and-greet with Lingle during his recent stay on Oahu. According to the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, an unnamed aide said Obama “preferred to spend his vacation with family and friends.” The Guv and the Prez are reportedly set to at long last press the flesh next month in D.C. That should give both camps plenty of time to think up creative excuses to once again delay the awkwardness.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 6 SUNDAY, JANUARY 4 Didn’t get into this yesterday because of my semi-coherent economic mini-rant, but looks like outgoing Maui Land & Pineapple CEO David Cole is starting to cash in his chips. The Maui News reports that on his last day on the job, Cole dropped 28,602 shares at a price of $13.43 per. (Cole, who remains on the company’s board, still holds close to 200,000 shares.) At its peak, ML&P stock was worth more than $40 a share, so the glass-half-empty take would be that Cole lost out, along with all the other investors. The glass-half-full analysis (for David, anyway) is that he just made $384,124.86. Not bad for a day’s “work.”

I’m too busy/lazy to chase the answer at the moment, but I just gassed up my rig so it’s on my mind: is there a state or county law that prohibits gas stations from having those automatic locks on the pump nozzles—you know the ones that allow you to go take a pee or buy some bad coffee while you fill up? I know I sound like I’m doing a bad, whiny Jerry Seinfeld impression, but does it annoy anyone else to have to stand there and squeeze the handle, inhaling noxious fumes and watching your dollars tick away? Of all the small, stupid, unnecessary conveniences we’re offered every day, that one actually seems to serve a good and practical purpose. I smell a hard-hitting investigative piece. Also, I smell like gas. MTW

MONDAY, JANUARY 5 The Obama/Lingle snubathon continues: Last month, Lingle drew heat for being a conspicuous no-show at a meeting

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

Hey, Mambo Paia café the ideal post-beach destination ne of the great things about having a kid on Maui is that it gives you an airtight excuse to float whale-like in the waters of Paia’s Baby Beach without looking like a drunken weirdo (even if you are). Here’s another great thing: after you’re done doing your inebriated monk seal impression, Paia is a most excellent place to grab some grinds.

Café Mambo 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia Daily, 8am-9pm 579-8021 We’ve profiled a number of the town’s choice eateries in these pages (some more than once), but I was surprised to see we haven’t yet given serious ink to Café Mambo. Tucked away on Baldwin Ave. just off Paia’s main drag, Mambo is one of those places where you feel a little cooler (and we’re not just talking AC) the moment you walk in the door. Eye-catching art lines the walls. Pockets of happy Paia people—locals and tourists alike, many with the requisite long hair and flowing clothing— occupy the tables and couch-like booths. Above the counter, a sign announces they’ve got Maui Brew Co. beer on tap. (That last one is what won me over, in case you were wondering where my priorities lie.)

OK, so what about the food? Sometimes establishments of this ilk lure you in with booze and a catchy décor, only to reveal when it’s too late to break for the exit that the food is substandard. No worries: Mambo passes the taste bud test, with extra credit for creativity. Take the BLT, a pretty standard bit of café fare by which you can usually establish a baseline of culinary competence. All you really need is for the bacon to be crispy, the tomatoes to be fresh and the whole thing to arrive warm and something less than soggy. Mambo hits all those marks, but adds a twist by serving the sandwich on focaccia. I admit I was skeptical, but after wolfing down the last bite I’m a convert. Where in most cases the bread is just a vehicle for the B, L and T, here it brings enough to the party to earn it’s own initial—I hereby move Mambo’s BLT be re-christened the “BLFT.” Who’s with me? Feel like venturing off the beaten path? Try the crispy duck burger. Served with melted cheddar and a sweet-but-not-too sweet sauce, the thing resembles a pulledpork sandwich more than a burger. Either way, it’s delicious. Our resident vegan settled on the tofu fajitas, which, like the various carnivorefriendly fajitas, come with warm flour tortillas, salsa, guac, jalapenos, feta cheese, lettuce and black beans. While I don’t consume it regularly, I’m not some tofu-phobic Neanderthal. In many ways it’s just like chicken: mostly flavorless. This makes preparation vital. Here the tofu gets an assist from the tag team of nori and

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Photos: (top) artsy decor; (left) nori and sesame tofu fajitas; (right) BLT

sesame. It’s pleasing if not overwhelming, which is fine considering all the other ingredients you’ve got to play with. In addition to the local beer on tap, thirsty souls can indulge in an array of cocktails, including what I’m told is a killer margarita. All libations are half price every day during the 3-6pm happy hour. One more cool thing that’s worth men-

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tioning is Mambo’s weekly cinema night. Every Thursday a different film is screened; the titles are eclectic and the atmosphere is casual but semi-serious— people actually come to watch the movies, so the dialogue isn’t drowned out by drunken chatter. (For info on upcoming films or to request your favorite flick, visit cafemambomaui.com.) MTW

TAKEFIVE

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Places to mourn your broken resolution DINA’S SANDWITCH Sugar Beach, Kihei If you’re like me, you broke your New Year’s resolution within about five hours of the stroke of midnight January 1. Luckily I have an assortment of others from which I can choose. Becoming a teetotaler is not one of them. Getting out of my shell, however, is. So is not spending so damned much money. Enter Dina’s Sandwitch (yes, the “t” is intentional). This is the pau hana destination for a diverse cast of characters, so interesting conversation abounds. Plus, the ocean view is unbeatable and makes for a killer sunset experience.

ONO GELATO Paia My broken resolution luckily did not involve food. No, the perpetual diet is superglued to the inside of my skull. But if I had violated that personal tenet I would have done so at a place like Ono Gelato, which features an array of sweet stuff for vegans and non-vegans alike. Flavors include mojito, pineapple champagne, pumpkin pie and Lilikoi, to name a few. Plus they sell locally made jams and and offer samples. To further satisfy your penitent urges, Ono keeps its ingredients as local as possible, which means you don’t have the added guilt of having patronized a place that unnecessarily ships in most of its ingredients.

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JAWZ TACOS Kihei Fire and brimstone types will find that repenting in a truly torturous way is a breeze thanks to capsaicin, the component of hot peppers that makes them, well, hot. Although in time capsaicin will ultimately result in an endorphin rush, it typically causes some serious tongue pain when initially ingested. A visit to a Mexican, Thai or Indian joint will help a resolution breaker inflict pain on him or herself in a most Catholic manner without all the scars. I suggest Jaws, which offers an array of punishment fodder.

GO IN A STRAIGHT LINE One of the most appealing aspects of this small and profoundly beautiful island is its conduciveness to introspection. You don’t need to go very far to find a private spot at which to ponder the course of your life, among other things. Head in one direction and you have the unfathomably vast expanse of the Pacific before you. Head in another and you’re atop a gigantic volcano. Wherever you end up will serve as a reminder of the insignificance of whatever little regret it was that drove you to get outta Dodge for the day. MTW

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MUSICSCENE

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

AnDen there were five Lyrically conscious Lahaina collective wonders what’s next ew band names are as enigmatic as that of Lahainabased AnDen. This five-piece island/rock/Latin fusion collective is not named after the word’s Peruvian meaning, which is a series of terraces carved into Andes mountainsides to accommodate agriculture. Nor did the word’s Spanish translation, train platform, inspire the moniker. In Swedish anden translates as “spirit,” though its alternate meaning is “duck.” Neither of these moved AnDen to so name itself.

Left to right: Eddee Sebala, Damien Awai, Ivan Yadao, Rick Bodinus and Brian Haian

AnDen Album: HouseKatchaFaya Next gig: Sat. Jan. 10, 9pm at Eha’s, Wailuku Web site: myspace.com/ andentheband

According to the band’s singer, songwriter and uke player Damien Awai, the name refers to the everpresent question of what comes next. “Everybody says, ‘an den where you going?’ [or] ‘an den what’s happening?’” Awai says. It’s something you hear every day, he adds; people are always looking for the next thing. The band’s politically and socially conscious message reveals another meaning underlying its chosen title. AnDen, Awai says, also refers to looking forward, to examining possibilities and embracing hope. “In the last 15-20 years I’ve seen a lot of changes” on Maui, Awai says. “A lot of pavement” replacing dirt roads; development. Lyrically, the band expresses concerns over the future of Maui as well as the planet.

JANUARY 08, 2009

Tracks off their debut record, HouseKatchaFaya, sport conscious titles like “Funk Da Bush” (a funk song concerning the policies of a certain chief executive), “Unite” (which confronts the difficulties Hawaiians have getting together to fend off a common enemy), and “Nation in a Nation” (which laments the displacement of Hawaiians in the wake of upscale developments that drive up property values as well as the cost of living). “Right now it’s a really innovative time,” Awai says. “And it’s easy to feed off of.” While the band often focuses on vital issues, HouseKatchaFaya also contains a few tracks that betray a sense of humor (the tune “Wett Dreams,” at least in its title, comes to mind). Awai, who was born and raised here and has played since age 7, has an eclectic musical vision; his compositions run the gamut. The tracks posted on AnDen’s MySpace page are the tip of the iceberg, he says. The four tracks that can be heard for free on the page have a decidedly island feel, which Awai says has the broadest audience appeal, but as a whole their sound is pretty diverse. The tunes on the site spout unmistakably reggae-esque upstrokes, but it’s clear that the band is

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

driven by skilled musicianship rather than the desire to make a few bucks while presiding over a dance floor wielding only a few chord progressions. The above-mentioned “Wett Dream” demonstrates this: it opens with a Latin beat before exploding into a ska-inspired rhythm. HouseKatchaFaya’s title track demonstrates the band’s ability to lace a standard reggae beat with catchy melodies, tasty guitar and keyboard leads and solid harmonies. The tune also incorporates, almost out of left field, a rap-inspired breakdown. Even upon first listen one can tell that AnDen’s influences are far-reaching. Among the band’s major inspirations, Awai says, are Bob Marley, Earth, Wind & Fire, Tower of Power and Sly & the Family Stone. One can also detect a little Zeppelin in their heavier tunes (including their cover of Bob Marley’s “Exodus”), and some bossa nova during the band’s forays into the realm of mellow. Awai says that he worked with some of the best musicians Hawaii has to offer on HouseKatchFaya. In addition to band members Brian Haia (lead and rhythm guitar), Eddie Sebala (bass), Rick Bodinus (percussion) and Ivan Yadao (lead guitar), musicians like

Wilson Kanaka‘ole, Dave Choy, Tom Mamuod, Jason Donez and Mitch Kapa are featured on HouseKatchaFaya. (Although he’s not listed among contributing musicians, Awai says that Kanoa of Gomega is a particularly innovative Maui musician.) “I’m just so proud I could get them on this project,” Awai says of the long list of featured musicians. AnDen has been headlining at various venues throughout Maui, and occasionally ventures off-island for gigs. In March they will travel to Arizona to play a festival. This weekend they play at Eha’s, a shot-and-a-beer kine place that has recently been doing a lot for the local music scene. The venue has a true island vibe—you’d be hard-pressed to find a speck of Parrothead in the joint. Although small, it’s a fitting venue with a decentsized dance floor. Those who want to listen before venturing out can do so at the band’s MySpace page or visit andentheband.com for short samples of all of HouseKatchaFaya’s tracks. The CD is available at Borders, Maui Marketplace in Kahului and Local Motion at Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center. The only question remaining is, what next? MTW

MINDCANDY

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

Beach reading that doesn’t suck GEEK LOVE Katherine Dunn Great thing about writing/living on Maui #1,573: Even as Mainland publications are churning out lists of books to read while you’re huddled under an electric blanket riding out the latest blizzard, we get to talk about beach reading. Because, the odd passing shower aside, January is as good a month as any to grab a towel and paperback and head for the nearest stretch of sand. Somewhere along the way, it was decreed that beach books had to be bad, or at least trashy and light on substance—the kind you buy in line at the grocery store with a picture of the actors from the film adaptation on the cover. But here’s a news flash: a book can be both good and fun to read. Counterintuitive as it may seem, those things aren’t mutually exclusive. Exhibit A: This diabolical little gem about two married circus performers who ingest various chemicals so that their offspring can star in the freak show. There’s Arturo, the boy with flippers; Olympia, a diminutive hunchback albino; the Siamese twins, Elly and Iphy; and a telekinetic baby named Chick. If all this sounds twisted and strange, that’s because it is. But it also manages to be surprisingly sweet and, above all, eminently readable.

THE BEACH Alex Garland OK, this one may seem painfully obvious but, no, I didn’t pick it just for the title. While you’re probably more familiar with the Leo DiCaprio movie of the same name, the book is, as always, far superior. (I say that as someone who loves movies; it’s just that rarely does literature translate to cinema without unavoidable awkwardness.) The simple plot follows a disaffected young Brit raised on video games and war movies as he bounces around Southeast Asia under a ratty backpack, simultaneously trying to find himself and to disappear. Through a rather gruesome turn of events he gets his hands on a map that supposedly shows the way to an unspoiled paradise, cut off from the neon bleakness of humanity. He follows the map (duh) and what he discovers is better—and worse—than he could have imagined. This is one of those books that works on two levels: as a devour-it-in-two days page-turner and as a cautionary tale about the aimless post-counterculture/Vietnam generation, which inherited the rebellious spirit of its forebears but didn’t know who or what to rebel against. So seriously, I didn’t just pick it for the title.

– – “Na– ‘Oiwi ‘Olino – People Seeking Wisdom” 6:30a.m. – 9a.m. weekday mornings on

THE SUN ALSO RISES Ernest Hemingway If you’ve never immersed yourself in Hemingway’s machine gun prose, this is a great place to start. If you read him a lot back in college but haven’t done more than thumb through his short stories since, this is a wonderful refresher course. And if you’re a rabid devotee of the bearded one who has memorized The Old Man and the Sea and became an alcoholic just to honor Ernie, this book is like the perfect appetizer, a light snack that’s great on the go. Not to say what many critics refer to as Hemingway’s first “major novel” is “light” in any traditional sense. Like all the author’s works it’s straightforward only in style—its subtext is rich, its characters complex and its messages and morals, such as they are, multifaceted. This is that rare “classic”: a book you can consume quickly and without a graduate degree or a Thesaurus, but one that demands multiple readings to peel back all the layers. Speaking of peeling: don’t forget your sunscreen. MTW

– – “Na– ‘Oiwi ‘Olino – People Seeking Wisdom” is a morning drive-time radio program presented by the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, with hosts Brickwood Galuteria and Kimo Kaho‘a–no.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

FILMCRITIQUE

BY BARRY WURST II BARRY@MAUITIME.COM

Between the lines Book-to-film adaptation the cinematic equivalent of a page-turner emember the first time you fell in love, only to find that the love of your life had a deal-breaking secret? Chances are, the secret wasn’t as bad as the one Kate Winslet’s character carries with her in The Reader, the first film

The Reader

★★★★ ★★ Rated R/122 min.

directed by Stephen Daldry since The Hours. Winslet stars as a headstrong German woman who takes in a sickly young man (David Kross) she finds passed out in an alley; as a thank you, he gives her flowers and she, in turn, deflowers him. Over a stretch of time,

they establish a system: in exchange for sex, he reads classic books and epic poems to her. The film’s sexually charged first half presents a psychological character study that is as familiar as it is explicit. I won’t give away the movie’s big secret, which is revealed in the movie’s dramatic second half, but I will say it’s not all that surprising. Yet the unusual turns the story takes from that point on make the film challenging and engrossing. Winslet creates a tricky character, one with a real inner life—you may find yourself with conflicted feelings towards her at different points in the film, which is just right. The story is framed by modern-day scenes of Ralph Fiennes playing the teen lover as a grown man, which is one of the best things about the movie. Kross’s character and performance are lacking in depth—you often wonder just what he’s thinking, which wouldn’t be a problem on the written page but leaves a void in the film. Fiennes, on the other hand, does

Best deal ever: sex with Kate Winslet in exchange for a bedtime story. wonders with a role that could have been a mere plot device. Unlike Kross, you truly feel his inner torment. Based on the novel by Bernard Schlink, this is a very good, always interesting story, the cinematic equivalent of a page-turner. Daldry’s direction can be self-consciously artsy; instead of completely losing yourself to the story, you may often find yourself noting how pretty everything looks. The film is clearly based on a book, as the story not only goes in some inevitable directions, but some especially dramatic scenes feel as though they could have ended with a new chapter heading. There are two confrontations near the end of the film, one with Fiennes and Winslet, the other with Fiennes and Lena Olin. These scenes are so beautifully acted and written, they are the best in the film

and completely salvage the scenes that don’t entirely convince. Olin is only in the film for a few minutes and gives a knockout performance. A nice touch is an end credit tribute to the late Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella, the film’s producers. The film contains elements of their best work: complex human emotion, tortured romance, picture-perfect landscapes, and a layered story-within-the-story. There are three valuable life lessons I took away from this movie: first, love is joyous and hard to deal with when it’s over; second, the ability to read is one of our most valuable learned traits; and finally, sometimes, even though I’d rather watch Die Hard than a film “from the director of The Hours,” a Kate Winslet period drama can be both food for thought and highly entertaining. MTW

GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD NOMINATIONS ®

INCLUDING

(DRAMA)

BEST ACTRESS OVER

•

Meryl Streep

50CRITICS AGREE

“ONE OF THE

BEST PICTURES OF THE YEAR!”

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EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT NOW PLAYING 18

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

WALLACE Maui Mall Megaplex (808) 249-2222 SORRY, NO PASSES ACCEPTED FOR THIS ENGAGEMENT

MOVIECAPSULES

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Maui Film Festival Candlelight Cinema

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), Bedtime Stories - PG - F-W1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:30 Marley & Me - PG - Th 1:15, 4:00, 6:45, 9:35. FW 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:35. Seven Pounds - PG13 - Th 1:00, 3:45, 6:30, 9:15. F-W 1, 3:45, 6:30, 9:15. The Unborn - PG13 - F-W 1:45, 4:15, 7:15, 9:30

HAPPY GO LUCKY - Unrated - Comedy A preschool teacher in London does her best to stay uncommonly bubbly despite a number of cranky people and a thrown-out back. 118 min. WARREN MILLER’S CHILDREN OF WINTER - Unrated - Documentary - A doc about people who kick butt at skiing, snowboarding and other things that involve being really, really cold. Narrated by skiing icon Jonny Moseley. Features some amazing mountain views. 120 min.

Ka’ahumanu 6

New This Week BEDTIME STORIES - PG - Comedy - A dude (Adam Sandler, incidentally) discovers that the bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew are coming true. The stories end up, as one would imagine, turning his life into a mess. 95 min. BRIDE WARS - PG - Sci-Fi - Sigh. 90 min. GRAN TORINO - R - Drama - Clint Eastwood plays a grizzled/racist Korean War veteran who has remained in his Detroit neighborhood despite white flight (hey, that rhymed!). His concept of reality gets thrown for a loop through his interactions with a family of Hmong immigrants. 114 min. NOT EASILY BROKEN - PG13 - Drama - A married couple watches their relationship fall apart after some unfortunate incidents and unexpected extramarital attraction. Based on a book rather than true events. 99 min. THE READER - R - Drama - A young man has a bit of a fling with a woman twice his age, who spontaneously disappears. Years later, when he is observing a Nazi war crimes trial, he runs into her again, only to discover she has a, um, dirty little secret. 125 min. THE UNBORN - PG13 - Thriller - A young woman discovers that a big scary ghost is haunting her, which is kind of a bummer. The plot also involves a family curse of some sort, just for kicks. 87 min.

Now Showing THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON - PG13 - Drama - The peculiar story of a man who is born in his 80s and ages backwards, becoming younger through time. A romance with a woman who ages in the normal fashion hits unavoidable snags. 107 min. THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL PG13 - Sci-Fi - Keanu Reeves stars in this remake of the 1951 flick about an alien and his giant robot pal who go gallivanting around planet earth. Any movie with a giant robot gets my vote. 103 min. DOUBT - PG13 - Drama - A nun accuses a Catholic priest of abusing a young black student. 104 min. MARLEY & ME - PG - Comedy - A family learns important life lessons from their adorable-but-naughty dog in this never-beendone-before comedy starring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston. 120 min. SEVEN POUNDS - PG13 - Drama - A penitent dude wants nothing more than to redeem himself. As a result he embarks on a mission to impact the lives of seven individuals. 118 min.

SHOWTIMES

Clint Eastwood plays against type as a no-nonsense old barnacle.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE - R - Art, Foreign A Mumbai street kid attempts to become a contestant on India’s ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ to find the girl he loved and lost. 120 min. THE SPIRIT - PG13 - Action - A rookie cop returns from the beyond as The Spirit, a hero whose mission is to fight against the bad forces in Central City. 103 min. THE TALE OF DESPEREAUX - G - Family - A mouse and rat defy convention, first by talking, then by bravely attempting to rescue a princess who is, of course, in deep distress. 94 min. TWILIGHT - PG13 - Fantasy - A shy, awkward teenage human female moves to a new town and discovers her mega-hot sexytime boy crush has a secret. A secret that involves being a vampire. Could be worse. Trust me. 122 min. VALKYRIE - PG13 - Drama - Based on actual events, a plot to assassinate Hitler is unfurled during the height of WWII. Plus: Tom Cruise in an eyepatch! 120 min. YES MAN - PG13 - Comedy - Jim Carrey stars as a dude who buys into one of those self help deals. The one in question has him saying ‘yes’ to everything that comes his way. Does he wind up on a meth bender in Mexico? You’ll have to watch. 108 min.

$8.00

Pass 'Clicks' Return!

CandleLight Cafe & Cinema Where Community Celebrates Creativity.

MauiFilmFestival.com Maui's Most Mind-Expanding Night-on-the-Town.

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Bedtime Stories - PG - F-Sa 11, 12, 1:15, 2:15, 3:30, 4:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su-W 11, 12, 1:15, 2:15, 3:30, 4:30, 5:45, 8. The Day The Earth Stood Still - PG13 - F-Sa 7:15, 9:50. Su-W 7:15. Gran Torino - R - F-Sa 11, 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40. SuW 11, 1:40, 4:20, 7. Not Easily Broken - PG13 - F-Sa 11:05, 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05, 10:20. Su-W 11:05, 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05. Seven Pounds - PG13 - Th 11:00, 12:00, 1:40, 2:40, 4:20, 5:20, 7:00, 8:00, 9:40, 10:40. F-Sa 11:10, 1:35, 4:15, 7, 9:35. Su-W 11:10, 1:35, 4:15, 7. Twilight - PG13 - Th 11:10, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40. F-Sa 11:10, 1:45, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45. Su-W 11:10, 1:45, 4:25, 7:05.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Bride Wars - PG - F-Sa 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8. Su 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8. M-W 1:10, 3:30, 5:45, 8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - PG13 - Th 3:35, 7:00, 10:25. F-Sa 12:15, 3:35, 7, 10:25. Su 12:15, 3:35, 7. M-W 1, 4:20, 7:45. Gran Torino - R - F-Sa 11, 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40. Su 11, 1:40, 4:20, 7. M-W 12:20, 3:10, 5:50, 8:30. Marley & Me - PG - Th 2:05, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50. FSa 11:30, 12:05, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50. Su 11:30, 2:05, 4:40, 7:15. M-W 12:45, 3:25, 6, 8:35.

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), Bride Wars - PG - F-Su 12:20, 1:35, 2:35, 3:50, 4:50, 6:05, 7:05, 8:20, 9:20. M-W 1:35, 2:35, 3:50, 4:50, 6:05, 7:05, 8:20, 9:20. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - PG13 - Digital 2D: Th-W 1:30, 5, 8:30. Non-Digital: FSu 4:30, 8. M-W 1, 4:30, 8. Doubt - PG13 - Th 1:40, 4:10, 6:40, 9:10. F-W 1:40, 4:10, 6:40, 9:10. Marley & Me - PG - Th 1:10, 3:20, 3:50, 6:00, 6:30, 8:40, 9:10. F-Su 1:10, 3:50, 6:30, 9:10. MW 3:50, 6:30, 9:10. The Reader - R - F-Sa 1:05, 3:55, 6:45, 9:35. Su-W 3:55, 6:45, 9:35. Slumdog Millionaire - R - Th 12:35, 3:25, 6:15, 9:05. F-Su 12:35, 3:25, 6:15, 9:05. M-W 3:25, 6:15, 9:05. The Spirit - PG13 - Th 12:00, 2:05, 4:40, 6:05, 7:15, 9:50. F-W 7:15, 9:50. The Tale of Despereaux - G - Th 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:20. F-Su 12, 2:20, 4:40. M-W 2:20, 4:40. The Unborn - PG13 - F-Sa 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Su-W 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Valkyrie - PG13 - Th 1:25, 4:10, 6:55, 9:40. F-Su 1:25, 4:10, 6:55, 9:40. M-W 4:10, 6:55, 9:40. Yes Man - PG13 - Th 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. F-W 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30.

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Gran Torino - R - F-W 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:45 Bride Wars - PG - F-W 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:30. Sa-Su 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:30. Seven Pounds - PG13 - Th 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:45 Sat/Sun: 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 6:30 Valkyrie - PG13 - Th 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45. F-W 1, 3:45, 6:30, 9:30.

*3-Film 45 Day Pass: $26. 4-Film 90 Day Pass: $42. SIngle Tix: $12.50. Prices include tax & ticketing fees.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

THIS WEEK’S PICKS Robo-trippin’

Vegetables: A laughing matter

Thursday (Jan. 8), 10pm, Charley’s, Paia

Thursday (Jan. 8), 7pm, Cameron Center, Wailuku

Electronic music is often a tough thing for rock and rollers such as myself to get into. For me it’s just a matter of taste, as it’s just as valid a musical form as those to which I am addicted. It may or may not be too big of a surprise that Jason Hann and Michael Travis, former members of beloved jam band The String Cheese Incident (or, as many of my high school classmates called them, “Dude: String Cheese”), have been embracing the form under the name Eoto. I can see potential overlaps between the two sounds: long, spaced-out jams, colorful melodies, a slight tribal feel. Plus there’s the positive vibe thing and a spectrum of mind-altering substances that are elemental in both scenes. Eoto sometimes even incorporates live mandolin and fiddle into their sets. They will not only play Charley’s Thursday night with support from Lynx, Jamie Janover and E.L.F., but will also headline a super-awesome party at a super-secret spot Friday night (e-mail or text eotomaui@gmail.com to find out where it is.) $10 Thursday/$15 Friday.

A common misconception about vegetarians and vegans is that we’re a humorless lot; that we can’t laugh at ourselves as we live our cause. This is not the case. We seem stone faced much of the time, yes, but that’s only because we’ve heard the same five jokes since day one, which all have something to do with how good steak sounds right now, or some variation thereof. (Although “Do you eat animal crackers?” was briefly funny about 10 years ago.) Cartoonist Dan Piraro, a vegan activist best known for the comic strip “Bizarro,” will deliver fresh jokes on the topic as part of a lecture on the advantages of ditching animal products. In addition to his internationally syndicated comic strip, Piraro has done standup, published more than a dozen books and served as an environmental and animal rights activist. Free.

THURSDAY

➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

Thursday, Jan. 8th

HOT LATIN THURSDAYS

Jammin’ J’s Latin Takeover Cumbia • Salsa • Merengue Reggaeton • Banda • Bachata Mexican Beer Specials

Ace One Productions & Hard Rock Cafe present

Bienvenidos Argentina Friday, Jan. 9th

Saturday, January 10th Tickets $30 available at Hard Rock Cafe

KAMA‘AINA

20%OFF Food, Beverages & Merchandise

CANNOT BE USED WITH ALL ACCESS OR IN COMBINATION WITH ADDITIONAL DISCOUNT PROGRAMS. VALID HAWAII ID REQUIRED. ALL FOOD, NON- ALCOHOL BEVERAGE AND NON-CHARITY MERCHANDISE

JANUARY 08, 2009

Licker Commission • Highly Unlikey Order of the White Rose

Winner opens for NOFX! 900 FRONT STREET LAHAINA MAUI 667-7400

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

BATTLE OF THE BANDS Saturday, Jan. 10th

SOJA Ooklah the Moc

After Party

Super Dub 5 • DJ Blast

Monday, Jan. 12th

Village Station Alternative Night DJ Astro RAF

Shot Specials • $ 3 Cosmopolitans

Tuesday, Jan. 13th

FAT TUESDAYS $3

with Kila Kila

“Holla” Drink Specials $1 Shot Specials

Wednesday, Jan. 14th

DJ BLAST

Drink Specials • $ 2 Bud Light Drafts

Thursday, Jan. 15th Friday, Jan. 16th

NOFX

Tickets 268-2773 Only a few left!

Doors Open at 8:30pm • Reserve The Cellar for your private party or corporate holiday event. Call Keoni at 205-7811.

BY KATE BRADSHAW

Universal S.O.J.A.

Delivering the rock

Saturday (Jan. 10), 3pm, Lahaina Civic Center

Saturday (Jan. 10), 10pm, Hard Rock Café, Lahaina

As much as I would like to get all fancy or anecdotal or what-have-you, I should put it simply: this show is a must. First off, before I even get into the sweet lineup, you need to know the cause it benefits: Save Makena (through Maui Tomorrow). This nonprofit is a key force for conservation measures in South Maui, and has fought a number of developments. Most recently they rallied a huge number of people for the Makena Resort expansion hearings. Save Makena fights to ensure that the green, or at least notpro-development, side of an argument is heard at every step of the county’s rubber-stamping process. Going to this show is kind of like an investment in Maui’s future. Oh, then there’s the music: Washington, D.C.-based roots/reggae band S.O.J.A. (Soldiers of Jah Army), which has earned tons of acclaim and toured the globe. The show also includes performances by Gentleman, Ooklah the Moc, Inna Vision, Super Dub 5, DJ Boomshot and more. Tickets are available at Hawaiian Holy Smokes (Kihei), Hana Hwy. Surf (Paia), Requests (Wailuku), Westside Vibes (Lahaina) or at inticketing.com. $30/$35 door/$60 VIP. Bonus: Ooklah the Moc and Super Dub 5 play an after party at The Cellar 744 at 744 Front St. in Lahaina.

It was the stuff of nightmares, that tune. I was 13 when it exploded. “Possum Kingdom.” The song’s lyrics were extremely creepy and almost impressionistic. You couldn’t make out exactly what the narrator was planning to do to his subject, but it sounded grotesquely sinister and probably set to take place at or near Possum Kingdom Lake in Texas. Band members have apparently been ambiguous about the song’s meaning, but according to one interview the song stoked the band’s vampire following in Florida (surprise, surprise). The Toadies continue to crank out the hard-hitting rock that got them the fame that reaches well beyond their Fort Worth origin. They’re currently touring on the heels of their latest release, No Deliverance. Their lineup has changed slightly but the record maintains the Toadies’ sound: heavy, distortion-soaked rock (please don’t make me say postgrunge). Lyrically, they continue to be darkly enigmatic and abstract, which is a huge part of the band’s appeal, at least to me. $30.

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

LADIES NIGHT

DR. NAT

Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present ‘808 dopest djs’

Dj Stylz & DJ Jammin J

& RIO RITMO

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” and “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Saturday

January 10th

SALSA Y SAMBA Y LATIN POP Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Friday January 9th

Thursday January 8th

JAMMALLAD and The Global Citizens

CASA nuevo tango Free classes at 7pm

Milonga dance from 8 pm

A Reggae & World music event African style Music Starts at 9:45pm

$10 cover

Sunday

January 11th

THE MANA’O UPCOUNTRY SUNDAYS with the

BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW STRING BAND

Dorothy Bezx & Les Adam - Cyrus Clarke Music starts at 2pm - $7 Donation

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova. For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

Big Shows

Tickets on Sale

phone. $10, $18, $23. Mon., 4 & 7 p.m.; Tue. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Eoto - Thu, Jan 8. Two former members of jam band The String Cheese Incident form this electro groove machine. Lynx, Jamie Janover and E.L.F. also perform. They play a second show in an undisclosed spot the following night. Send an email or text Eotomaui@gmail.com for details. $10. 9 p.m. Charley’s, Paia. 579-9453.

NOFX/The Expendables - Thu, Jan 15. Oh, hell yes! This killer, irreverent, catchy-without-being-sellouts punk rock band has already sold out their Friday show (sold out in a different sense, of course). They added a second show Thursday night so more of us can come check them out. Get tickets while they last. $25. 8 p.m. The Cellar 744, 744 Front St., Lahaina. 661-3744.

David Nelson Band - Fri, Jan 23. This founder of New Riders of the Purple Sage, along with support from some stellar musicians, will rock Stella Blue’s like it’s never been rocked. Tickets are $27 before the show and are available at Stella Blue’s and Bounty Music. The following night it will rock Charley’s. Tickets for Saturday’s show are available at Bounty Music. 9 p.m. Fri.: Stella Blue’s, Kihei; Sat.: Charley’s, Paia. 874-3779; 579-9453.

S.O.J.A. Save Makena Benefit - Sat, Jan 10. This benefit for environmental group Save Makena also includes performances by German reggae superstar Gentleman, Ooklah the Moc, Inna Vision, Super Dub 5 and others. Tickets available at Hawaiian Holy Smokes (Kihei), Hana Highway Surf (Paia), Requests (Wailuku), Westside Vibes (Lahaina) or at inticketing.com. $35/$35/$60 VIP. 3 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center, 1840 Hono`apiilani Hwy., Lahaina, HI, 96761. 661-4185. Toadies - Sat, Jan 10. Dubbed by some as grunge rock, these guys got pretty huge in the ‘90s with the bone-chilling song “Possum Kingdom.” They come to Maui with tracks off their latest, No Deliverance. $30. 10 p.m. Hard Rock Cafe, Lahaina. 667-7400.

Stage The Elephant Man - Mon. Maui OnStage’s Bare Essentials Theater presents this classic production. 6:30 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, HI, 96793. 242-6969.

Keali’i Reichel/Maui Pops Orchestra - Sat, Jan 17. Singer/guitarist/kumu hula Keali’i Reichel joins a few members of the Maui Pops Orchestra for a show that will benefit Reichel’s Halau Ke’alaokamaile as they prepare for the Merrie Monarch competition. $12/$45/$55/$65/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Rose Roselinsky: Simple Yet Elegant!?!! - Daily, Jan 17. A fabulous one-woman show by said performer, featuring appearances by Debra Lynn, Jerry Eiting, Tristan Noel, Donna Rohrer and Douglas Bowser. Danny Brown and Peter delaCroce will be on grand piano and percussion, respectively. Tickets available at Gotling Ltd. (2447779) and The Old Lahaina Book Emporium (6611399) or by calling Maui OnStage (242-6969). $20 general admission/$30reserved seating. A Maui OnStage Benefit. Sat., 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 1:30 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, HI, 96793. 242-6969. Shanghai Circus - Daily, Jan 19. The acrobats, jugglers and contortionists return to Maui for a most vibrant, edge of your seat kind of show. Tickets available at MACC box office, online at mauiarts.org or by

Sleeping Beauty - Fri, Sat & Sun Jan 23-Feb 1. The beauty of fairy tales is that there is more than meets the eye. Often implicit within their plots are subtle messages about gender, class and culture. Interesting symbolism, too. See for yourself. Jonathan Lehman directs this “fractured” interpretation of this fairy tale. Tickets available by phone and at the Queen Ka’ahumanu Center Customer Service Desk. $8.50. Fri., 7 p.m.; Sat., 12, 3 & 7 p.m.; Sun., 12 & 3 p.m. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Kaahumanu Center. 875-4367. Jake Shimabukuro - Sat, Jan 24. Wow. This ukulele virtuoso delivers an electrifying performance. The YouTube video featuring his cover of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” is just the beginning. His talent and his philosophy on playing make for a most captivating show. $12/$28/$37/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Miss ‘Ulalena & Miss Maui Contest - Sat, Jan 24. Six of the Valley Isle’s most beautiful and talented young ladies will be crowned Miss ‘Ulalena, Miss Silversword, Miss Haleakala, Miss Valley Isle, Miss Lokelani and Miss Maui. Winners will get the

chance to receive scholarships and compete in the Miss Hawaii competition, and possibly even the Miss America Pageant. $20/$25 & $30/$35 (VIP). 12 p.m. (Miss Ulalena); 6 p.m. (Miss Maui). Maui ‘Ulalena Theater, Lahaina. 280-6776. Leon Fleischer - Sun, Jan 25. This pianist spent years sharpening his skills without the use of his right hand due to a neurological disorder. He later miraculously regained use of his right hand. $12/$30/$40/$45/keiki half price. 5 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Taylor Mac - Sun, Jan 25. The fabulous Manhattan Mama’s Coconut Cabaret Series presents this colorful performer whose vocals and music have gained him worldwide acclaim. Partial proceeds benefit the Maui AIDS Foundation. $20. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Rubberdance Group - Thu, Jan 29. An intriguing blend of hip hop and ballet makes for a unique and entertaining show. Tickets available at MACC box office, by phone, or through Mauiarts.org. $12/$22/$32/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Ozomatli - Fri, Jan 30. This eight-piece Latin fusion group mixes it up with influences ranging from Jamaican reggae to Indian raga. Despite such astonishing diversity the band never loses is hip shaking edge. Tickets are available through the MACC box office, by phone and through Mauiarts.org. $25/$30 day of show. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Da Braddahs - Fri, Feb 6. James Roche and Tony Silva make up this Hawaiian comedy duo. The two bust through a number of characters that you can

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844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758 22

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CELLAR 744 744 Front St., Lahaina 661-3744

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

EHA’S POOL BAR 1234 Lower Main, Wailuku - 242-1177

Thursday 01/08

Friday 01/09

Saturday 01/10

DJ Del Sol No cover, 10pm

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith No cover, 10pm

Rio Thing

Mojo Gumbo

Nueva Tango/Milango

Jamallad & the Global Citizens; $10, 9:45pm

Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo $10, 10pm

Hot Latin Nights

Battle of the Bands

S.O.J.A. After Party w/ Ooklah the Moc; $20, 10pm

EOTO $10, 10pm

DJ Music

Orin & Junior

Dave Carroll No cover

Quiz Night Karaoke

GIAN DON’S 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

TUE - Kahala & Indo of LAWA; WED - Karen Be MON - Open Mic

Dave Carroll No cover

MON - Village Station (Alternative Night); TUE - Fat Tuesdays; WED - DJ Blast (80s & 90s)

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jazz Night; WED - Howard Ahia, No cover

Eric the Whale Shark No cover

MON - Jordan, 10pm, No cover; TUE - Scott & Merika, 10pm, No cover

Homestead 9pm

AnDen 9pm

Doll House Show $10, 10pm

Ultra Fab w/ DJ Michael Fong; $8, 10pm

TUE - Backyard Jam, 7pm; WED - Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - DJ Michael Fong; 10pm

The Toadies $30, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Monday 01/12– Wednesday 01/14

Live music

HARD ROCK CAFÉ HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

Sunday 01/11

Rampage No cover, 10pm

The Flying Sheep Problem

A Kettle Prime

Karaoke w/ Melani

Elvin No cover, 9pm

Vince Esquire Band No cover, 9pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli No cover

only really see here in the isles. $25/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Surreal German Circus - Fri, Feb 6. This trippy show involves performances from dancers, the music of Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill, freaks, a midway, and passed pupus prepared by Bev Gannon of Hailiimaile General Store fame. Attendees will receive discounted tickets for future Iao Theater shows. A benefit for the historic Iao Theater. $40. 242-6969. Iao Theater, Wailuku. Doors Tango Now - Fri, Feb 6. Love of Tango brings this Argentine tango show to Maui. The list of stellar performers includes Natalia Hills and Gabrielle Misse. $22. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. The Presidents of the United States of America - Fri, Feb 6. Somewhere between post punk and proto garage pop lies this band. Just kidding. These guys are best known for tunes like “Peaches,” “Lump” and “Kitty,” among others. They are one of the few popular bands in the nineties to have a “sense” of “humor.” Tonight they rock Maui. Yours for $35. 10 p.m. Hard Rock Cafe, Lahaina. 667-7400. Judy’s Gang Dance Recital - Sat, Feb 7. Over 100 dancers of all ages will be performing as part of this show, entitled “You’re an Animal.” This is a twohour show consisting of jazz, tap and more. $14/$13/$9. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Inspired by Love - Sat, Feb 14. This Maui Civic Light Opera show includes a farewell performance by Debra Lynn and Jerry Eiting as well as appearances by Eric Gilliom and others. Valentine’s Day enthusiasts are sure to dig this one. $35/$25. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Makana - Sat, Feb 14. Part of the MACC’s Mele Series, Makana will play the slack key and world styles that earned him opening slots for the likes of Santana and Sting. $30/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Angelique Kidjo - Sat, Feb 21. West African singer and composer Kidjo has captivated audiences and won acclaim worldwide for her amazing

voice and commanding stage presence. $12/$30/$47/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Hapa - Fri, Feb 27. This slack key and vocal duo, consisting of Barry Flanagan and Nathan Aweau, takes the MACC stage for a rare, can’t-miss performance. Will also feature chant from Charles Ka’upu’s and a hula performance by Malia Peterson. $12/$28/$37/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Steve Miller Band - Sat, Feb 28. Jokers, smokers and midnight tokers rejoice: Steve Miller Band is coming to Maui. I’ve seen him live before; the man is a machine and so are the musicians with whom he surrounds himself. Jungle Love, anyone? $55/$65/$85/$125. 7 p.m. A & B Amphitheater, MACC. 242-7469. Lines Ballet - Sun, Mar 1. Artistic Director Alonso King brings his unique and highly acclaimed show to Maui. 5 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Sam & Howard Ahia: Generations - Fri, Mar 6. This legendary father and son team jam on stage with their mellow island tunes. $25. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Augie T - Sat, Mar 14. This award-winning, megapopular comedian and drive time DJ returns to Maui to crack some jokes about Hawaii life. $25. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Home: Inside & Out - Sun, Mar 15. Three young Hawaiian men, each from a different island, will perform a series of vignettes that deal with home, family and cultural identity. Tickets available at MACC box office, by phone and through mauiarts.org. $20/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. India Jazz Suites - Thu, Mar 19. Award-winning dancers Chitresh Das and Jason Samuels Smith perform alongside one another put on a rare, eclectic and captivating performance that spans all genres and embraces both tradition and innovation. $12/$22/$37. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

MON - Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; TUE - $1 tacos w/Lucky Bum Girls; WED - Kahala

Diana Krall - Sat, Mar 21. Grammy-winning jazz vocalist and pianist Diana Krall comes to Maui for one night of cool, smooth, genre-transcending tunes. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Na Leo Pilimehana - Sat, Mar 28. The translation of this best-selling Hawaiian female trio’s name is “voices blending together in warmth.” These three family women and long-time friends not only write and record their tunes, but they have even launched their own record label. $12/$28/$37. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Casanueva Tango Free Introductory Class - The only thing more romantic than tango dancing is co-ed rugby. A chance for those intrigued by tango to give it a try for free, then check out performances by the class’s instructors. Free. 7-8:15. Casanova, Makawao. 572-0220.

SATURDAY, JAN 10 Book Launch - A celebration of the release of the Maui Book of Lavender. Music by Emma Veary, food by Chef Paul. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 100 Waipoli Rd., Kula. 878-3004. Treecycling - Get rid of that Christmas tree the ethical way: have it put to good use by way of a wood chipper. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Kihei Recycling Center, Welakahao Ave. 270-7880.

Events THURSDAY, JAN 08 South Maui Gardening Panel Discussion Six gardening experts discuss creating a garden suitable for conditions in South Maui. A chance to learn key things about growing food, medicinals and other plants. Light pupus will be served. Sponsored by South Maui Sustainability. 6:30-8 p.m. Kihei Charter School. 874-5955.

Everything Economic - Check out this Maui group that focuses on economic topics and systems, and explores theories. Bring whatever you are reading for dialog. Call for info. Island wide locations. 573-3250.

The Humorous Side of Vegetariansim Thu. “Bizarro” strip cartoonist Dan Piraro shows a different side of vegetarianism while showing his audience the facts. Free. 7-8 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 298-8544.

Jan Garrett & JD Martin - Tonight’s theme: No complaints, whatsoever; a feast of gratitude & musical endorphins. These two play everything from gospel to rock to jazz, and offer an optimistic perspective. $10. 1 p.m. Unity Church, 483 S. High St., Wailuku. 242-9327.

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick is Caddyshack. 9:00 p.m. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

FRIDAY, JAN 09 Melveen Leed - Come check out the Hawaiian cowgirl from Molokai as she performs some of classic tunes. $15. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Kaunoa Senior Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7308. Book Signing - Author Myra Lewin signs copies of her new book Freedom in Your Relationship with Food, an exploration of ayurveda and yoga and their role in nutrition. 2 p.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

SUNDAY, JAN 11

Hatsudate - The Chado Urasenke Tankokai Maui Association’s first tea ceremony of the year. Feel the stillness. Feel the zen. 1-2 p.m. Paia Rinzai Zen Mission. 579-9246. Free Bellydance Demo - Intrigued by the art of bellydance? Dying to work those abs? Here’s a chance to try out this most captivating dance form. 4 p.m. Maui Muscle & Fitness, Kahana. 280-7998.

TUESDAY, JAN 13 Tibetan Cultural Fair - Features an exhibit on this remote and colorful culture including arts and crafts. Five Tibetan monks from a monastery in Mysore, India will also construct a 7x7 Medicine Buddha

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

DA KINE CALENDAR Folk Dancing - Shake it folk style with the Maui Israeli Fold Dancing group. Free. . 8 p.m. Jewish Congregation of Maui, Kihei. 280-1051.

WEDNESDAY, JAN 14 Better Breathers - A American Lung Association of Hawai`i monthly meeting for people with asthma, chronic bronchitis or other lung conditions. 2-3 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 244-5100.

Ongoing Free HIV/Hepatitis C Testing and Counseling - Mon-Fri. Available from the Hawaii Dept. of Health. Free Hepatits A & B Vaccines also available. Times and locations vary around the island. 984-2129. Iridiology/Rayid - Daily. Clinical herbalist Kimberly Kneier peers into your irises, which are said to be amazing indicators of your state of health. Mini consultations are $20. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 572-2424. Israeli Folk Dancing - Every Tue & Wed. The public is invited to experience the music and dance of Israel, sponsored by the Jewish Congregation of Maui. $5 suggested donation. 6-8 p.m. (Upcountry dance sessions take place at Grace Church in Kula Sundays from 4-5:30 p.m.). Beit Shalom Synagogue, 634 Alulike St., Kihei. 280-1051. Maui Singles Investment Club - Tue. This event gives Maui singles a chance to mingle while learning about investments. 5:30-7 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249. Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Tue. Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271. Toastmasters - Tue. Perfect your public speaking skills in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land Co. training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa Church, Kihei, 298-3966. Ukulele Lessons - Tue. Learn some strumming techniques to impress you friends with. Free. 5:45 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Habitat for Humanity - Sat. Spend a few hours helping a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m. Call for details. 893-0334. Hula Classes - Sat. Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m. Maui Waena School. 873-3070. Hula Show - Every Sun & Sat. Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952. Swap Meet - Sat. From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, this place pretty much has it all. Killer produce market, too. New location! Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului Harbor side. 877-3100. Line Dancing - Sun. Practice your tush push ya’ll and come on down for some line dancing by the Maui Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free. 10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114. Toddler Story Time - Thu. Brush up on the latest in children’s books with your little one. Free. 10 a.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

Lecture Lecture: The Impact of Acculturation Among Native Hawaiians Fri. Kamana’opono Crabbe leads this vital discussion of mana and health. Sponsored by Hui No Ke Ola Pono. Free. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 244-4647. The Power of Attraction, Science and You - Mon. The buzz around that Secret book and movie dealie has been sustained for years. This interactive presentation will give you the skinny on what it’s all about. Free. 10 a.m. Kihei Community Center. 879-0871.

Senior Line Dancing - Mon. Line dance lessons for people 55 or better. 8:30-10 a.m. Kaunoa Senior Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7313.

BONUS PICKS

Inspirational Lecture - Tue. The Ohana Connection shows you how to recreate your life from the inside out, if that’s what you’re into. Fee includes breakfast and networking. $10. 9:30-11 a.m. Luana Gardens Recreation Hall. 871-1110.

Speed Dating - Tue. Sit down for a round of threeminute dates. Who knows, you could find true love... or at least someone you might want to spend a whole second date with. Registration: $5. 8 p.m. Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill, Kahului. 871-1414.

Heavy Kettle

Ultimate Whalewatch Experience - Wed. Join Pacific Whale Foundation researchers for an intimate presentation on whale behavior and breakfast, followed by a whalewatch. Guests will receive free whale posters and whalewatch guides. $79.95. 7-11 a.m. Ma’alaea Harbor. 294-8811

Regardless of what anyone says, Maui does have a somewhat diverse music scene. And, yes, there is rock and roll here. Case in point: A Kettle Prime. They’ve been around since 2007 and play periodically (though probably not enough) on-island. They’ve got a pretty solid, uncommonly psychedelic rock sound. Singer Lake McClain’s vocals sound like a cross between Jim Morrison and David Byrne. Kettle’s tunes often consist of simple chord progressions overlaid with trippy wawa peddle guitar leads. The band’s lyrics are laden with metaphors that add to their surreal sound. I have no clue what their name refers to, but I’m sure it was inspired by the same psychedelic stripe that is responsible for their sound.

Keiki

Biofeedback - Fri. Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den. 573-2424.

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic weightlifting, power lifting, body building and sports-specific weight training by an experienced team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St. Mark Weightlifting Hall, Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 244-4656.

JANUARY 08, 2009

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call. Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center. 289-5050.

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds age 7-12. Taught by magician Neil Bruce. Free. 2:30-4 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-5313.

Pipe Up - Mon. No experience is needed for drummers and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and practices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band. 6 p.m. Call for Direction. 876-0154.

Kahului Lions Club - Thu. Anyone interested in being involved is encouraged to attend this dinner meeting. 6 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel. 243-7402.

Shakin’ Keiki - Fri. Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-in basis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center. 984-8260.

Story Time Saturday - Sat. A chance for keiki to learn about what makes Maui so special. Takes place at the Hawaiians and the Sea exhibit. Included with park admission. 11:30 a.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7000.

Whale of a Time Sleepover - Fri. A chance for keiki to learn about humpback whales and other sea creatures, complete with movies, crafts, games and more. Bonus: Pizza dinner and pancake breakfast. Reservations required. $60. 5:30 p.m.-8 a.m. Maui Ocean Center, Dicovery Center. 270-7075.

Job Club - Fri. Get help preparing resumes, contacting prospective employers and interviewing. Free. 3-5 p.m. Job Connections of Maui. 871-4143.

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 45 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

High Hopes Square Dance Club - Mon. A place for beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7 p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

Soroptimists of Maui Meeting - Wed. Visitors are welcome at this meeting of business and professional women that’s dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls in our community. 4:30 p.m. Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. 264-1775.

Humpback Whale Outreach - Fri. Volunteers from the Hawaiian Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will be on hand with educational materials and binoculars for those interested in viewing humpback whales near shore. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali. 661-4567.

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s biggest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian Housing, 3-5 p.m. & Baha’i Faith Maui Center, Makawao, 9 a.m.-12. TUE - Kehekili Park Terrace, Wailuku, 3-5 p.m. WED - Baha’i Faith Maui Center, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30 p.m.; Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. FRI Haiku Boy’s and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info call 661-0111.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Saturday (Jan. 10), 10pm, Haui’s Life’s A Beach, Kihei

John Shappell

Mandala over the course of six days. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Queen Kaahamanu Center, Kahului. 669-3000.

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Everybody loves bubbles Wednesday (Jan. 14), 7pm, Café Marc Aurel, Wailuku So, Café Marc Aurel has been doing this wine tasting thing monthly for some time now. I dropped the ball on giving a nod to their pinot noir session a few months back, something I deeply regret. So here’s my chance at redemption: sparkling. I endured a few occasions this season for which bubbly was essential (the ever-important Christmas morning mimosas; my brother’s wedding, where I should have had only one glass and gone back to beer; and, of course, New Year’s Eve). The time might be right for a lesson in sparkliness. I’m guessing that Alan Jahns, wine educator and host of these monthly installments, slated the bubbly for January in honor of the New Year. He’s featuring quality stuff from France, Tasmania, Spain and Italy and will discuss the differences between each wine’s bubbles as well as the history of the celebratory sippable. I wonder which from his selection would be best for POG mimosas. $35 ($10 from each ticket benefits Pomaikai School).

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 01/08

Friday 01/09

Saturday 01/10

DJ Boomshot No cover, 9:30pm

DJ CIA No cover, 9:30pm

Vince Esquire Band No cover

Kenny Roberts No cover

Way Back Machine No Cover

O’Kaleo No cover

DJ Shaka Rock

JACQUES 120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMOS

Sunday 01/11

Monday 01/12– Wednesday 01/14

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-Y-ans, No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine, No cover

DJ Boomshot

TUE - Kilo Hana, No cover, 5pm

Peter DeAquino No cover, 9:30pm

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke

Open Mic

Salsa Night $7, 10pm

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willys

Shaka Saturdays $10, 10pm

Live Rock/Pop/Hawaiian 9pm

Live Hip Hop/Reggae $15, 10pm

Video DJ $15, 10 pm

Kenny Roberts

MON - DJ; TUE - Kanoa of Gomega; WED - Neto Latin Salsa

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

DJ Hurricane No cover, 9pm

DJ Decka 9pm

DJ Astro Raph No cover; 9pm

Pub Music

MON - Pub Music; TUE - DJ Astro Raph; WED - DJ Hurricane

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Rick Glencross

Gail Swanson

Guerilla Jazz

The Celtic Tigers

MON - Acoustico; TUE - Open talent w/Rick Glencross; TUE - Willie K

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Dub Boyz, No cover, 10pm; TUE - Unifires, No cover, 10pm; WED - Silky Ringo

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LOS PELONES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-9900

LULU’S KIHEI 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

TUE - IRS

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

Patents, Trademarks and Copyrights Tue. A dicussion of how to protect your work and safeguard against plagiarism and theft of your ideas. Great for anyone who writes music, short stories or anything else that can be considered intellectual property. Free. 11:30-1:30 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall. 873-8247. About Joy! - Wed. This interactive presentation, sponsored by the Know Thyself as Soul Foundation, focuses on being anchored in the Present. Yeah, that was a capital P. Free. 10 a.m. Kihei Community Center. 879-0871. Reconnect to the Source - Wed. This Know Thyself as Soul interactive presentation teaches you all about the grand moment of awakening and happiness. Free. 7 p.m. Kihei Community Center. 879-0871. Families With Mental Illness Course - Wed. Course aims to help families of individuals with serious mental illness. Free. 5-7:30 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 572-3757.

Workshops Mentor Training Session - Thu. Those 50 years old and older can learn to impact the lives of children and elderly individuals by way of this session. 12-4 p.m. Call for location. 573-3109. Renewable Energy Workshop - Tue. Maui Energy Commissioner Dr. Victor Reyes wants to talk story with business owners on development of a green workforce, green education, renewable energy, green transportation, infrastructure, and reducing greenhouse gas emissions. Free. 12-1:30 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall. 873-8247. Lifesaving Class - Sat. DLNR hosts this free session on how to safely operate firearms and archery as well as first aid and survival skills. Free. 8 a.m.-3:45 p.m. Maui Economic Opportunity Family Center, Kahului. 800-353-4868.

Environment Moonlight TIdepool Exploration - Fri. Explore tidepools with Pacific Whale Foundation’s expert naturalists and meet fascinating creatures that roam Hawaii’s tidepools at night. Check in time is 6:15. For people ages 6 and over. $10/adult, $5/child. Reservations required. Co-sponsored by Mana Kai Resort. . 6:30 pm - 8:00 p.m. South Maui Tidepool, Mana Kai Maui Resort. 808-294-8811 ext. 1. Daily Onsite Coral Reef Naturalist Program - Mon-Fri. Learn names of fish youíve seen while snorkeling and how to protect Mauiís reefs at Pacific Whale Foundationís free Coral Reef Information Station. Sponsored by Hawaii Tourism Authority and County of Maui Office of Economic Development. . 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 808-249-8811.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat. Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new building materials or purchase them at reduced prices. Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku. 986-8050.

Waihee. Be prepared to help weed out invasive plants or help with other tasks. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts!. 7:45 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Coastal Land Trust, Waihee. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools, gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sunscreen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

Honokowai Valley Restoration - Sat. Visit remote Honokowai Valley, which is closed to public access, with leader Ed Lindsey. Help save archeological sites of old Hawaii, pull invasive plants and possibly plant native species. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts! Sponsored by County of Maui Office of Economic Development and Hawaii Tourism Authority. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Honokowai Valley, West Maui. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Maui Coastal Land Trust Service Project Fri. The Pacific Whale Foundation’s Volunteering on Vacation program gives you a chance to help save unique ecosystems at Maui Coastal Land Trust in

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove. Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long

Humpback Whale Interpretive Station Daily. Learn about humpback whales and whale watch with a Pacific Whale Foundation naturalist at this free information station. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Papawai Point, West Maui. 808-249-8811 ext. 1. Kanaha Beach Project - Every Tue & Thu. Join group leader Val Magee in removing invasive species, clearing marine debris and planting native species at Kanaha Park. Bring water, snacks and sunscreen. Wear cool clothing, a hat and good walking shoes—and bring your swimsuit if you wish for a refreshing dip afterwards! Meet at the Canoe Hale at Kanaha Beach Park in Kahului. . 8:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Kanaha Beach Park. 808-294-8811 ext. 1. Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center. 870-0052. Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 249-8811.

Friday NightS 10 pm

MUSICIANS

WANTED!

Front Street Side of Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-9900 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

DA KINE CALENDAR

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

fitness levels. Refreshments will be provided after. Sponsored by Valley Isle Road Runners. Free. 5:30 p.m. Piilani Highway and Lipoa Parkway.

Sports

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Hookipa Surf Classic - Sat. This contest is in its 19th brutal year. Call Hana Hwy. Surf for more details or to sign up. Time is TBA. Hookipa Beach, Haiku. 579-8999. Dragon & Tiger Medical Chi Gung - Every Tue, Thu & Fri. This exercise is believed to fight cancer in China. Free class sponsored by the Pacific Cancer Foundation. 3-4 p.m.; 5:30-6:30 p.m. Maui YMCA, REPS Fitness Training Center, Wailea Town Center, respectively. 243-2999. Maui Croquet Club - Every Sun, Tue & Thu. You could be an amazing croquet player and not even know it. No mallet? No problem. 2-5 p.m. Waipuilani Park, Kihei. 879-0087.

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in during your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free. noon-12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku. 984-8200. Volleyball Day - Sat. Bump, set, spike! Open to everyone. Free. 12 p.m. Kamaole III Beach Park, Kihei.

Art

Mercedes-Benz Championship - Daily. This 2009 PGA season opener golf tournament thingie is kind of a big deal. Only the champions of 2008 compete. Ticket prices vary. Times vary. Plantation Golf Course, Kapalua. 665-9160.

Artist Reception - Fri. Acclaimed New York Artist Mimi Stuart uses a form called “Energy of Subject” to capture some of the most dramatic, intense and brilliant moments imaginable. The result: colorful, original pieces certainly worth checking out. Listen to the music of Kurt Lee while chatting it up with the woman of the hour. Free. 710 p.m. Sargent’s Fine Art, 802 Front St., Lahaina. 667-4030.

Paradise Marathon Signup - Daily. Remember how you said you wanted to train for a marathon? Well, this could be your chance to go for it. If you’re not quite ready for 26.2 miles you can sign up for a half-marathon or 5k. The actual race takes place Jan. 11. Time TBA. Kalama Park, Kihei. 891-2363.

Schaefer Portrait Challenge - Daily (except Sun & Mon). This showcase of Hawaii artists is kind of a big deal. It happens only once avary three years and features the work of many artists’ diverse take on the portrait, from sculpture to painting. Free. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Schaefer International Gallery. 242-7469.

Group Run - Wed. Stay in shape while taking in some beautiful views! Group meets at Kihei Community Center. Open to runners of all ages and

WOW! - Wed. Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

MAUI NUDE

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through Lahaina Town’s many art galleries. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. Each week features a different guest artist. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284. Oil Painting Demonstration - Fri. Maui artist Jack Hamilton shows how it’s done. 4-7 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, Lahaina. 667-9898. Heu’i Arts and Crafts Fair - Daily. A chance to check out some locally made, Hawaiian cultureinspired arts and crafts while strolling beneath the banyan tree. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina. 661-0111. Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961.

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Hard Rock Cafe - Mon, Marty Dread, 6:30-8:30 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 570-7400.

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd. Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort.

Poetry Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

WEST MAUI

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Swap Meet Farmers’ Market - Sat. As if that swap meet wasn’t enough of a draw on its own, within its gates also lies a chance to find some great deals on mega-fresh produce. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului Harbor side. 877-3100.

DINNER MUSIC

Farmers’ Market and Craft Fair - Every Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat. Great deals on locally grown produce and locally made goods. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307.

Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

The artist will be traveling with his wife and 2 children (2 and 4 years old). Any recommendations on places to stay would be greatly appreciated.

Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-5978.

For posing you will receive a limited edition print by the artist. The artist will be in Maui February 2nd through the 17th, 2009. Check email daily within these dates for further instructions.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome. Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall. 872-4320.

Pose nude in Maui for a group installation by artist Spencer Tunick. Sign up to participate at: projects@spencertunick.com Subject your email: MAUI INSTALLATION

Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. Free. 6 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091.

Poetry Slam - Every First Fri. Poets 13 and over are encouraged to share their stuff with the First Friday crowd. Pieces are limited to three minutes. $5. Ha Gallery, Wailuku, 244-3993. Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852. Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,Oversized Productions; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Kaànapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiìlani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Kaànapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495. Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758. Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881. Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. Santa Fe Cantina - Tue, Ryan from Silky Ringo; 4-8 p.m. Sat, Damien; 5-8 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7805. Sea House Restaurant - Thu & Fri, Kincaid Basques; Sa,-Coelho Morrison; Su, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets except Sat. 7-9 p.m. Sat set is 6:30-9p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiìlani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI Haui’s Life’s A Beach - Thu, Erin Smith. 1913 South Kihei Rd., 891-8010. Henry’s Bar and Grill - Gina Martinelli Jam. 6-8 p.m. 41 E. Lipoa St. Kihei. 879-2849.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 01/08 OCEANS BAR & GRILL

Friday 01/09

Saturday 01/10

Rebel Souljahz/Maoli/One Inity; $20, 9pm

Biggest Latin Bash of the Year; $10, 10pm

DJ Mike Rozak No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

Orin & JR

Karaoke

Karaoke w/Tobi 9pm

1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

RUSTY HARPOON 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy #1 - 661-3123

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

Sunday 01/11

Monday 01/12– Wednesday 01/14 TUE - Karaoke, 9pm; WED - DJ Dancing, No cover 10pm

SANTA FE CANTINA

TUE - Ryan from Silky Ringo; WED - Junior & Orin

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7805

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - Astro Boys (DJs); WED - DJ Decka; All no cover, 10pm

Karaoke

MON - WED - Karaoke

Maui Underground $3, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIFFANY’S

Karaoke

TUE - WED - Karaoke

Robbie Ray No cover, 9-10pm

Rick Glencross No cover

Ola Hou

MON - Monday Night Football

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

UNISAN 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

333 Dairy Rd., Kahului - 871-1414

DJ Magnetic No cover, 10pm

Vince Esquire Band No cover, 10pm

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

WOW-WEE MAUI’S

DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8844.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100

Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Morning Glories Organic Internet Cafe Fri, Elaine Ryan, 3-4 p.m.; Mon, Karen B, 1-2 p.m.137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Gail Swanson; 68 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific; 7 p.m. Tue, Randall Rospond; 6:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. Shangri-La - Sat, Acoustic Sitar By the Sea. 6:308:30 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Road. Suite 109, Menehune Shores, Kihei, 875-4555. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon, Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun, Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI Café Marc Aurel - Live Music on various days (check the Grid); Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852. Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816. Wowee-Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill- Th, Hawaiian Jazz & Fusion w/ Robbie Ray. 6-9 p.m. Fri, Keolu & Ekolu, Hawaiian Raggae, 6-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks; Thu Mark Johnstone, Fri, Classic Hawaiian with Jocelyn, all sets 6:30-8:30. Sat, Live jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 12:30 -2:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI ■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. ■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Kaànapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Puaà. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. ■ KAÀNAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Kaànapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi; Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m. ■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapiìlani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m. ■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Banyan Tree Restaraunt - Wed & Thu, Ranga Pae 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets. Thu, Kulewa; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Fausto and Kawaika; Sun; Kulewa; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 Wailea Wednesdays w/ WIllie K - Wed, 7:3010 p.m. ■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth. Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m. Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:3011:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly. ■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234 Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music. Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo.

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 69 p.m. Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 911 p.m. ■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 69 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m. Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing. 7:30-8:15 p.m.

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to Kate Bradshaw at calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 08, 2009

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Manager Needed Popular local restaurant expanding to Lahaina Full-time positions, competitive salary offered At least 1 year of experience necessary E-mail resume to lahainakitchen@ymail.com or call 283-5003

WRITERS WANTED The Academy for Alternative Journalism, established by papers like this one to promote diversity in the alternative press, seeks talented journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism. The eight-week program (June 21 - Aug. 16, 2009) aims to recruit talented candidates from diverse backgrounds and train them in alt-weekly style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances. For information and an application visit http://altjournalism.org. You may email us at altacademy@northwestern.edu. Applications must be postmarked by Feb. 13, 2009. Northwestern University is an equal opportunity educator and employer.

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HOUSES FOR RENT OHANA FOR RENT One bedroom cottage at Lahaina’s Baby Beach. $2500 plus electric, completely furnished. Call 667-6968.

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DISTRESS SALE ROOM FOR RENT Lowest priced 2bd/1.5ba condo in $950 plus deposit, share utilities, at Southpointe, Kihei. Bamboo floors Lahaina Baby Beach, private bath. and marble floors, Granite bathroom Call 870-3401 countertops, new designer fans and VACATION lighting. Two parking stalls. Only RENTALS $187,500 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands CLEAN, AFFORDABLE CLASSIFIEDS Accommodations in our vacation CONTINUED ON P. rental from $69 per day. Call Toll CENTRAL MAUI CONDOS Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986Five 1 and 2 bedroom condos 8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com across the street from the blue Pacific ocean and walking distance to Maui Community College, the MACC, shopping, and restaurants. Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for Investors, these units rent for $1100 classified and display ads - $1250/m. Price from $54,900 to $99,000. Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands

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CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES Website www.mauitime.com Ad Deadline Monday 4pm Mail 33 Market Street, Suite 201 To Advertise Call 283-3260 Wailuku, HI 96793 Fax Number 244-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) In relationships, we all should employ the campground rule: pack out what you bring in, and leave nothing behind. Ideally we should endeavor to leave everyone we’re involved with better off than how we found them. Sometimes this is impossible; nevertheless, I implore you: try your best. Naturally, they’ll still have memories, like the ashes of campfires, that you can’t do much about, but there’s no excuse for leaving behind your trash or baggage. Nor is anyone else allowed to do that to you. Make sure you’re abiding by the campground rule; then you’ll be free to insist that others do the same.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) There are those content to leave things well enough alone, even if they’re far from satisfactory, and there are those who’ll stir up shit at every opportunity. Most of us fall towards the middle of this spectrum, naturally, but let’s face it: you tend far more towards shit-stirring than biting your tongue. This is a fine tendency most of the time, and one I admire (though surely you know by now it earns you as many enemies as friends). The only problem is when you get involved after you’ve been specifically asked not to. You do this for lots of admirably well-intentioned reasons, and most of the time it works out for the best. Sometimes, though, it turns out to be a terrible mistake. The next time you’re asked to back off and butt out, seriously consider doing it.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Here’s my take on the scenario you’re caught up in: While house-hunting, you’ve come upon your dream home. It’s apparently perfect in every way, beautifully situated, and you can even afford it. What’s the problem? You. How I wish you could stop imagining the forgotten subterranean Indian graveyards or secret government caches of illicit nuclear waste you’re convinced are buried beneath it. There are no such things, at least not here and now, where you are. While the place certainly isn’t as perfect as it first appeared, it’s not hiding anything you can’t cope with. Seal the deal, already.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) The idea you’re grappling with may be too big to deal with directly. If you were studying the sun, for example, gazing directly at it would swiftly curtail your examination, since you’d go blind. You’d need to use special tools—smoked lenses, pinhole cameras, or theoretical models, for example—to get at the information you needed. This, too, may require more outside aid and subtlety than you’re used to employing. However, how to go about it should be obvious once you’ve accepted that the direct approach—staring into the sun—is a bad plan. Since it’ll only take you about ten minutes after that realization to come up with a good plan, that’s about when you should implement it.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Above all, do no harm. So physicians swear. Nevertheless of course crap happens—to you as well as them. It’s admirable to at least try to do no harm, but in some situations we have to settle for doing the least amount of damage possible. When your car is headed for an inevitable collision, if you’re calm and collected enough to be react properly, you aim for the place where you’ll do the least damage to others, as well as to your car and yourself, ideally preventing any loss of life. That’s how you need to view this situation. If doing no harm isn’t exactly a possibility, steer yourself in the direction where least harm is.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Per your New Year’s resolution, you’ve decided to erect boundaries delineating territory you now deem sacrosanct and inviolate. However, have you decided exactly how you plan on keeping trespassers out? A ten-foot stone wall, three feet thick and surmounted by razor wire? A chainlink fence, through which people could see and communicate? Or perhaps a quaint little white picket number—more like the idea of a fence than an actual barrier? Naturally, the fence you choose will have a profound influence on your relationships with your neighbors. As you build yours, please keep that in mind.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) It takes a certain kind of person to want to taxidermy a beloved pet after they’d died. I never thought of you as that kind of person, and yet here you are, attempting to stuff, mount, and preserve something that would really be better off buried or burned. It might feel comforting for a while to keep this replica of what you had, but I assure you, it’s actually just a morbid way to keep from moving on. Please leave off your attempts to freeze something and keep it long past its due date. You won’t have any room in your house, heart, or fridge with that attitude, and as long as you don’t have room, nothing fresh, new, and delicious will be able to come in.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Most smart social animals—and especially you loud Lions—realize that a good growl, or its equivalent, will suffice to keep them safe and out of bother the vast majority of the time. As usual, your roar is still mostly effective. Unfortunately, if you want your snarling warning to be taken seriously, you do occasionally have to make good on it, and bite. If you’re not prepared to do that, you might as well just roll over and bare your belly. If a bluff is all you can muster, you’re better off keeping it to yourself—since it will be called.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Don’t underestimate just how differently people can see things. Take something simple, like an apple. A Fundamentalist might view it as the symbol of the knowledge of good and evil. A nutritionist would call it a good source of vitamins, pectin, and fiber. A metaphysicist might claim it was difficult to prove that the apple even exists. So you can see how different people, all purportedly talking about the same thing, could have entirely different conversations about it and never agree on a single point. Don’t be surprised when your own much more complex situations meet a similarly perplexing multiplicity of viewpoints. Your job: find the single confluence point of all of them. There is one, and only one. Start looking for it.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Which would you prefer, having blurry vision that is prone to errors and misinterpretation, or wearing hideously unflattering glasses? Which, ultimately, is more important to you—the way you see the world or how you’re seen by it? Sometimes in order to have clear perceptions we have to assume very unlikable and even harsh positions. This week you get to choose which you’ll be: the sweet blind lovable fool, or the merciless and somewhat horrible cynic. Only you can decide which would ultimately bring you more satisfaction, but you have to decide; you can’t be both.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) If you frequently reward your puppy with praise and affection when it comes when you call (and never call it over to punish it), it will tend to be more responsive to your summons later in life, too. It’s amazing how many people fail to arrive at this incredibly simple and commonsense causal connection. Are you one of them? I’m beginning to suspect you might be, considering how clueless you are about certain other ramifications of your actions. Use your brain, my dear, since your hopeful heart isn’t quite wise enough to figure out this shit for you. Anyone could tell you what will happen if you follow through on your current plans. If you aren’t sure, ask them.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) What will you do with your pocketful of extra cash? Spend it, or save it for a rainy day? You have plenty of other things to occupy you at the moment, so there’s no pressing need to use it up. Then again, this kind of abundance has an inconvenient tendency to evaporate on its own, leaving you nothing fun to remember it by. It’s almost an impossible decision to make, and one you’re likely to find frustratingly difficult; nevertheless, how you dispense your surplus riches this week is likely to have a profound effect on the year ahead.

JANUARY 08, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

CLASSIFIED

MIND BODY SPIRIT

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HEALING HANDS M4M Experience whole body, therapeutic, and nurturing touch for men using a variety of healing energy modalities. In-calls as well as outcalls, serving all of Maui. Call 1877-303-2009.

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MIND-BODY COUNSELING Change old patterns with EMDR and other body/mind techniques. Helpful with old trauma, substance abuse, eating disorders, depression & anxiety, Most insurance accepted. Dr. Karl Jacobs, licensed psychologist. Makawao 572-0631 Upcountry Bodywork with Richard Experience a Swedish-based session, incorporating a variety of therapeutic bodyworks. Deep Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology and Sports Stretching. Schedule a relaxing and healing session by calling 280-8557 Find Maui’s Holistic Events! Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New December/January Maui Vision Magazine Out Now! Call 669-9091 for info. SOOTHING HEARTFELT BODYWORK Releases Aches and Pains. Powerfully Transformative! Balancing Body, Mind & Soul. Relax & let go, relief guaranteed, please call 875-8399. Let your spirit soar ... JOIN THE 2012 CELEBRATION Get ready for the great planetary transformation and consciousness shift. It’s time to remember what you brought to the party, and why. Your personal Soul Briefing is free and priceless. Send birth data to insurgent astrologer Zak Tangeman, P.O. Box 615, Kihei Hi 96753 Art Therapy/Counseling at Northshore Arts and Healing Center with Sara Skowronski M.A, ATR-BC All ages accepted, First 2 sessions free for Keiki www.northshorearts-healingcenter.org 579-6099 FIND DATES maybe soulmates at Maui Matchmakers (www.mauimatchmakers.com), a dating, relating, matchmaking service for all orientations and relationship styles. First Friday, monthly. 244-4921

MASSAGE LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable Haiku Lanai by a Certified LMT $60/hr. For Pregnancy Massage, Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call Susan 276-2114. Same day appts. available. MAT#8984

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JANUARY 08, 2009

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HIGH VISIBILITY! LOW COSTS! BACK SIDE CLASSIFIEDS WORK!

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ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

PRE-FORECLOSURE CONDOS SSSSPEED DATING! Kihei and Central Maui locations. Prices from $54,900 and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Broker 808-283-2222. Century 21 All Islands

I’AO ACUPUNCTURE & SPA DECEMBER SPECIAL

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Every Tuesday! Ages 21 and over, 8 PM registration. Drink and food specials. Call Wow Wee for pre-registration or just show up!! 333 Dairy Rd. 871-1414.

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For an appointment with Nancy or Hano call 808-872-1113. Private tattoo studio by appointment. Email inquires to tat2oasis@yahoo.com, or view gallery at myspace.com/wwwpiratebitchcom. Anchored at the Harbor, 111 Hana Hwy, #202B, Kahului. Above Bounty Music in the back.

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BOHEMIA BOUTIQUE Vintage Couture & Contemporary Consignment. Located at 105 North Market Street in Wailuku. Open Mon-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 11am-4pm

2008 BEST OF MAUI WINNER FOR BEST SANDWICH 808 DELI IN KIHEI! Home of the world famous Chicken Pesto! Located at 2511 S. Kihei Road, across from Kam 2 Beach, Open 7 days a week. 879-1111

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Maui’s ACCESSORIES TOO! ORIGINAE L SMOK SHOP!

Sunset Terrace Apts Studio,1& 2 Bdrm. Apts

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Yellow Seed Bamboo

www.YellowSeedBamboo.com

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Keonekai Villages 2bd/1ba Paid $298,000 • NOW $199,000

Royal Kahana Studio Paid $440,000 • NOW $274,000 Josh Jerman, Broker

283-2222 Century 21 All Islands www.joshjerman.com

12.20 Rob Report, January 8, 2009, Volume 12, Issue 20, MauiTime

Published on Nov 23, 2013

MauiTime talks about Rob Report reaching the century mark. An insight on Cafe Mambo and places to mourn your broken resolution. The film "Th...

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