Massive: Issue 03 'Money'

THE VOICE OF MASSEY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

EST 2012

MARCH 9TH

2026

ISSUE #3

05. Letters to the Editor

26. Gig Guide with Radio Control 27. Mother Massive 28. Sexcapades

06.

Massey Honours Students Outraged at Reduced Classroom Space

08.

Massey Uni Receives Historic $5 Million Donation

08.

Past Residents Claim Maintenance at Kāinga Rua was Overlooked

09.

Massive Has Moved!

10.

Kei Hea Ngā Pūtea?

12.

Amazon Wants to be my Sugardaddy

14.

From Gold Rush to Digital Dust

18.

What Your Favourite Supermarket Collectible Says Aboout You

20.

Poopgate

Massive is largely funded by Te Tira Ahu Pae and the student services levy, however, remains editorially independent.

Disclaimer: The views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the editor.

PG 16

NZ Media Council: Those with a complaint towards the publication should first complain in writing to the editor editor@massivemagazine.org.nz If unsatisfied with the response, complaints should be made to the NZ Media Council info@mediacouncil.org.nz

Editorial • Etita • 01

Can Trump Stop Messing with my Finances?

First it was the tariffs, then it was the trade wars, and now it’s a literal war.

Donald Trump may be a 20-hour flight from me, but he’s still managing to fiddle with my finances.

On February 28th, the United States and Israel launched a joint strike on Iran, killing Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei. Khamenei brutally ruled Iran for 37 years, and his death was celebrated by many Iranians. However, eliminating one man does not erase the regime beneath him. Much of the Islamic Republic’s power structure remains intact. A tidy democratic transition is unlikely, but global instability remains high.

Iran’s response to the attack is to threaten and strike energy and economic infrastructure in the region. This raises global costs and forces diplomatic pressure. When energy markets are rattled, oil prices jump. When oil jumps, petrol follows.

When petrol rises, freight rises. And when freight rises, so does the price of food.

For a country like Aotearoa—small, trade-dependent, and far from the centres of power—that instability hits fast. We import fuel and trade in US dollars. When conflict escalates, investors pile into the US dollar because it’s an investment safe haven. Suddenly, currencies like ours fall. A weaker NZ dollar makes everything we import more expensive.

Correction: In the news article ‘Massey’s School of Business Takes Over Mathematical Sciences Building’, we wrote that the former Massey Business School is being leased to external tenants. This was incorrect. The building is not currently being leased, but is now available to be.

This has been fixed online.

It’s a double hit—higher global prices and a weaker local currency.

On top of that, Trump has already made the market volatile with his aggressive tariff policies and escalating geopolitical conflict.

Our KiwiSaver balances are fluctuating, our retirement savings drop, and inflation lingers longer than they otherwise might.

The US have launched an illegal war against a country where they haven’t had a diplomatic presence in for nearly 50 years.

They’ve killed a leader who will be mourned by few, but who is very likely to be replaced by someone worse.

The Trump administration and his MAGA followers will argue that this is strength. That it is putting the USA first.

But strength without strategy is just disruption. In my opinion, Trump’s so-called ‘strength’ is an ego trip which has global consequences.

Kiwis are living with the economic aftershocks of American policy choices. When those choices amplify inflation, destabilise markets, and heighten global risk, it’s fair to ask: Is there a coherent plan? Or simply a pattern of escalation?

Foreign policy may be made in Washington, but its impact is felt globally.

20-hours away is not far enough.

Correction: In the news article ‘Massey Students Upset at the Return of In-Person Exams’, we referred to Disability at Massey as Massey’s disability team. This is incorrect and has been corrected online.

Massive Magazine

Correction: In rep rants last week, Peyton Joe’s name was spelt incorrectly. We apologise for this and have corrected the spelling online.

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Submit a letter to the editor and your thoughts could be published for everyone Massive Magazine to read – and for the editor to respond Submit your letters through our website: to. Go on… we’re listening. massivemagazine.org.nz

Rep Rants • 02

Kia ora everyone!

(Happy the year of Horse) I’m Yan, your international student representative.

If the first two weeks of semester already feel a bit chaotic, you’re definitely not alone. Between new timetables, trying to find the right classrooms, and convincing ourselves that this will finally be the semester we stay organised… things can get real very quickly.

Orientation week was a great reminder of how fun the start of semester can actually be. I spent time meeting both new and returning students. Some of you may have encountered the slightly strange-looking cotton candy I was making. It might not have been Instagram-perfect, but it was definitely made with enthusiasm.

Just yesterday I joined the SAEF Chinese Student Club and Massey Business School to celebrate the Lantern Festival. With sweet balls (YuanXiao), local snacks, and lots of laughter, it was one of those moments where culture and community come together and suddenly campus feels a little smaller—and a little more like home.

Looking ahead, I hope to continue serving in this role because there are still goals I want to push forward—encouraging more collaboration between cultural student groups, running sessions on study and immigration policy updates, and helping organise an upcoming career expo.

Through the work of the team at Te Tira Ahu Pae, we’re trying to make sure that when you arrive in Aotearoa, you don’t just study here—you feel like you belong here too.

FRIENDS @splendid.nz

85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz

Money

Massey Honours Students Outraged at Reduced Classroom Space Words by Claire Taylor • SHE/HER

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recent university decision, placing Design honours students in a small, shared space has sparked outrage.

Historically, Conceptual, Textile, and Industrial Design honours students have been allocated individual desks and workspaces to support their honours year.

Now, these three majors have been placed in two rooms, expected to share limited desks, computers and equipment.

The decision and the lack of notice have caused frustration among these students.

Conceptual design student Lucie* said students were not informed of the change until a meeting on February 23rd.

“They emailed us to have a meeting with all the majors … It was pretty much to tell us that we have no actual spaces, and they were showing us slideshows of the spaces,” she said.

Lucie said teachers brought chocolates and tried to provide as much information as possible, stating the change was aimed at increasing collaboration.

“It has been spun off to us as a way to collaborate more within the Design majors, but it’s really just a way to ignore the issue.

We can’t all fit in that room.”

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According to Lucie, Photography honours students are now sharing a corner of a classroom with another course. Concept, Industrial, and Textile honours students were allocated two small rooms expected to hold a cohort of about 80 students.

Lucie claimed the new space contained just ten desks and four computers—one without a keyboard, and no tablets for Concept or Industrial students.

Massive Magazine

News • Kawepūrongo • 03 She continued, saying some of the computers provided did not contain the software Industrial students need to complete their work—such as 3D modelling programs.

In a response to Massive, Margaret Maile—pro vice chancellor of the College of Creative Arts—said the decision to change honours student workspace was due to a “revitalization”.

Despite losing space and equipment, students are still paying the same fees as past honours cohorts.

“The College of Creative Arts facilities are world-class and unmatched by any university or tertiary institute in New Zealand,” she said.

“Concept needs wacom tablets, industrial and textile need lots of space to be able to work messily. We are paying the same as past years and getting less out of it,” Lucie said.

As of Wednesday, 4th March, Lucie claimed no formal plan for managing or booking the rooms had been provided. This is leaving many students unable to access the space when it’s full.

She said many other Design honours students shared her same disappointment, with many opting to not use the space at all.

“They keep telling us to use it or lose it because they really want us to use the space. But why would we? It sucks. And we already did lose ‘it’, and that wasn’t our fault?” She said.

Charlie*, an Industrial Design honours student, sent a formal email to James Coyle, director of technical and commercial services, to express their disappointment over the workspace.

The email—which has been shown to Massive—said the designated spaces given to honours students were “appalling”.

“Historically, fourth-year industrial design students have had assigned desks with dedicated PCs (not iMacs). We work with more than just a laptop, and having to carry materials, tools and resources between locations simply isn’t practical,” they wrote.

“Having a permanent workspace is essential to how we work and produce at this level.”

Charlie wrote that the lack of desk space, high student numbers, and limited technical equipment was “a disaster waiting to happen”.

Industrial honours students are normally situated with the rest of their major in the Industrial Design block. Charlie said in their email that Industrial students valued this environment and had expected to continue that experience in honours.

Charlie wrote: “To properly support our study, we need: Assigned desks for each postgraduate Industrial Design student, dedicated PCs at each desk (not iMacs), with appropriate software installed (Rhino, KeyShort), permanent storage for materials and ongoing project work, a shared industrial design workspace that allows collaboration over year levels.”

Charlie has since met with Massey student reps, with other Design students also contacting individual reps to express their upset.

*Names changed

“The college has undergone a space revitalisation project in the past 18 months to ensure students have access to the highest quality resources, including ... the introduction of multi-disciplinary collaborative design studios.”

“All honours spaces across all majors have been regarded equally and we are excited about the quality and potential of the new multi-disciplinary honours’ hub closely located to areas of practice for concept, industrial and textile students.”

Maile said the collaborative space was in line with professional practices.

“Our refreshed approach to space facilitates and supports multi-disciplinary practice, creating spaces where students from different areas may work side-by-side or collaborate.”

These multi-disciplinary spaces “mirror the new masters and PHD hub in Block 10”.

When asked about why these students are still paying the same amount as previous years, Maile repeated herself and said: “The College of Creative Arts facilities are world-class and unmatched by any university or tertiary institute in New Zealand.”

“We are committed to providing all students with the resources they need to achieve at the highest possible level. To do this, we continually adapt to reflect professional environments and the best practice across the creative industries.”

Maile said all students have access to specialty spaces, such as workshops, studios, tools and technology required for their work. But as of March 4th, this is something Lucie said hasn’t happened.

“Academic and technical staff are refining our space and tech booking systems to ensure it is user-friendly and robust,” Maile said.

For students who are struggling to access equipment or specialised spaces, she encouraged them to contact their course coordinator or technical team.

Massey University did not comment on how the space used for previous honours students is now being used.

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Money

Massey University Receives Historic $5 Million Donation Words by Maya Trotman • SHE/HER

Philanthropist Dr George Mason has gifted a historic donation of $5M to Massey University to boost our biological science and natural environmental research.

The George Mason Charitable Trust has gifted $25M divided between four New Zealand universities following the death of Dr George Mason in 2024. The University of Waikato, University of Auckland and Victoria University of Wellington also received $5M.

In a statement to Massive, a Massey University spokesperson said that the exact number of scholarships awarded each year will depend on the annual income generated by the endowed fund.

The endowment is estimated to generate $250,000– $350,000 in income each year.

It’s the biggest donation to higher education in Aotearoa.

They said a committee will make recommendations for how the funds are allocated, ensuring that “they are aligned with Dr Mason’s long-term vision for environmental stewardship”.

The donation will primarily be used to fund scholarships for research students focusing on environmental stewardship.

It will also be used to encourage overseas research projects.

So far, four PhD students have received the funds for their research. Massey said they are all “extremely grateful for the support they received”.

Mason has contributed more than $600,000 to Massey University in the past 24 years.

“One example is Dr Emma Scheltema, who says she it would not have been possible for her to leave a full time job and complete her PhD without the funding from the George Mason Trust.”

Past Residents Claim Maintenance at Kāinga Rua was Overlooked Words by Ellice Lawrie • SHE/HER

Previous residents of Massey’s Kāinga Rua hall claim that maintenance requests were ignored or left for long periods of time during their stay.

“It was freezing cold and people who were still living in halls would be left without heating or lights and at one point the water got shut off for a day,” she said.

Students approached Massive with these complaints after an article on Kāinga Rua closing down due to mould came out. In the article, previous residents claimed that they had mould in their rooms during their stay.

While students were informed about the times that power would be off at the hall, Bella said the outages would often last for longer. She claimed that the longest the hall went without power was 13 hours.

For Massey University student Bella*, she claimed there were multiple examples of the hall not responding to maintenance requests. In general, she found the hall was not maintained properly.

At the start of her stay at Kāinga Rua, Bella said the freezer broke in the Nui common room. While the hall told residents to take their food out of the freezer, items like chicken were left in the freezer.

These went mouldy.

During mid semester break of 2024 Bella said the boiler broke.

Around the same time, power was repeatedly turned off for residents due to maintenance.

Using Fix-It—the system that Massey halls use for students requesting maintenance checks—both residents and RAs sent requests. But the fridge was left for a week and a half before it was removed.

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Massive Magazine

News • Kawepūrongo • 03 The smell from the mouldy food in the freezer made residents in the common room nauseous. Bella said that residents were still told it was fine to cook in the kitchen, despite her and her friends falling sick.

“A lot of people who lived above the kitchen ended up throwing up for about two days and I know some people who cooked in the kitchen and were sick for a week,” she said.

Despite Bella sending in multiple Fix-It requests, no action had been taken. So, she sent an email to Massey Accommodation.

Within this email she attached photos and videos of the mould, and mentioned that Fix-It requests had been sent in. She wrote that the freezer “needs to be fixed and cleaned NOW, this is an unliveable situation” and if she did not hear back from them, she would “escalate” the situation.

Afterwards, Bella claimed the university sent a message to every house chat, saying that the freezer will be dealt with and not to contact staff directly. A direct message to her house chat was also sent. This message said threats to staff were not appreciated.

A 2025 Kāinga Rua resident, Sophia*, had a similar experience with maintenance issues.

She said this lack of action from the hall surrounding maintenance requests meant that when issues arose, she would no longer report them “They’re not really good at helping things… [it’s] more trouble than it’s worth to reach out, it’s a big process.”

In response to Massive, a Massey University spokesperson said that they were unaware about Bella’s claims about a broken freezer.

“The university was not made aware of these claims and there is no record of a Fix-It request in our system for a freezer breakdown in Kāinga Rua during Orientation in February 2024. If staff had been informed, it would have been responded to immediately,” they said.

Massey acknowledged that there were issues with the boiler system in Kāinga Rua in 2024.

“There were periods where the central heating system was not operating as intended while repairs were underway.”

Bella said she was pulled aside by her RA, who told her off for contacting staff. She claimed she was told if she did it again, then the hall would look into “removing her from the premises because it’s unsafe”.

During this time, Massey said that affected residents were given portable heaters to ensure their rooms remained warm while the boiler systems were being fixed.

This experience left Bella feeling intimidated and shamed, and she felt scared to leave her room.

In response to residents feeling as though maintenance would not get done at Kāinga Rua, Massey said that the fix-it requests system is a consistent and straightforward process.

“I’d been sick for two weeks at that point. I’m living on my own for the first time. The point is, it made me feel scared. I felt a lot of shame ... I probably didn’t leave my room for a day and a half. I left to go to class and that was it.”

Bella felt she could no longer trust her RAs. This meant when other issues arose during the year, she was hesitant to ask for them to be fixed.

“I felt like if there was a problem with maintenance it wouldn’t get fixed and that was proven to me over and over again over the course of the year.”

“In 2024, Massey received 403 Fix-It requests, and these were all responded to promptly. A 2024 survey involving Wellington residents showed a majority had positive feedback around the helpfulness of staff and the time it took to respond to requests.”

“We believe current systems are working well. There are some aspects that are out of Massey’s direct control, as with all accommodation, and we believe these aspects are managed appropriately.” *Names changed

Massive Has Moved!

Massive Magazine moved into a new office last Friday after getting the boot from their old office.

Luckily, this office is bigger! Which editor Jessie Davidson is very happy about.

“I love my big new office!” Davidson said.

So, Massive has taken over the old student rep office, 9C07. This also happens to be the old Massive office from years ago, and their sign still hangs over the door.

You could say, Massive is returning to their roots.

Massive designer, Olive Bartlett-Mowat is also happy with the move, saying: “I’m excited.”

Massive only moved into their old office, 9C11, at the start of 2025. But Massey didn’t want them there and wanted their meeting room back.

Massive Magazine

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have begun approaches, I ly id p ra on ti ūtea?

As the elec kei hea ngā p , a n a w ka te oney?) to wonder– E where is the m t, en m n er ov (To the g st • SHE/HER Words by Kamaia

Baibridge-Fro Ngā Puhi, Waikato Tainui, Fasito’outa

T

he current coalition government has made some sketchy financial decisions during their time in office. Reflecting on a lack of financial investments in my communities, the pattern began to reveal itself. I began to wonder who was really suffering the consequences?

After investigating many of the government’s decisions, from bills to legislation to law, there was one consistent factor at play—Māori were often the victims of this government’s budget cuts.

While in office, the current New Zealand coalition government has made the following financial decisions, affecting these Māori sectors:

The government decided to disestablish Te Aka Whai Ora (The Māori Health Authority).

The government cut funding of Te Ahu o te Reo Māori programme (Te Reo Māori teacher training).

Te Aka Whai Ora was created with the intention of improving equity of the health outcomes for Māori.

This was a nationwide initiative to support the te reo Māori development of teachers and staff who work in Aotearoa’s kōhanga reo, kura, wharekura, schools and early childhood education centres.

On 27th February 2024 the government released the Pae Ora (Disestablishment of Māori Health Authority) Amendment Bill. Under urgency, the bill passed into law on March 5th, 2024.

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These cuts were not singular to one sector. My pātai developed from ‘if’ to ‘how much’ has the government defunded Māori?

The 2025 budget revealed $30 million was taken from the programme.

Massive Magazine

Whai Kainga Whai Oranga (Māori housing programme) was disestablished by the government in May, 2025.

The government cut 45% of funding for Matariki events in 2024. This equated to a $2.5 million dollar decrease in funding for any Matariki events.

$80 million was taken from Whai Kainga Whai Oranga, and was instead given to the government’s flexible housing fund.

For many communities, this meant immediately cancelling or scaling back already established Matariki events.

The government decreased funding to Te Māngai Pāho (The government’s Māori media funding agency). This resulted in the end of The Hui, and a 64% budget cut for Te Karere.

hard to Did you find it at? read all th Yeah, imagine how tired we are.

Te Karere is the last remaining Māori TV bulletin.

This doesn’t even cover the overall defunding Māori have faced because of this government—Māori economic funds, Te Arawhiti, Māori trades training, and more.

ACT Party leader, David Seymour, reckons funding people based on their whakapapa should stop.

RNZ reported Seymour’s response to the criticism of decreasing Māori-focused funding in the 2024-2025 budget.

“I’m really getting tired of people trying to racially profile us, put us into categories based on our ancestry or whakapapa and then try and tag the budget funding for that, it’s just got to stop.”

Minister for Finance, Nicola Willis, also rejected accusations that the budget didn’t serve Māori. Reinstating ACT’s favourite rhetoric, she argued that if a decision is good for all New Zealanders, then it’s good for Māori.

Te Ra Moriarty, a Massey University Māori lecturer from Te Pūtahi a Toi, believes that the government’s choices are disproportionately impacting Māori.

He says, “We’ve already had so much taken from us, yet we are still continuously demonised.”

“I’ve noticed politicians use anti-Māori rhetoric to get votes… they [politicians] play on people’s fear of Māori.”

Moriarty believes it is “self-serving for individual politicians to embark on this pathway without acknowledging that it actually has a real impact on many Māori people”.

“Their actions seem to portray their lack of experience with Māori people and Māori community.”

He says his students were directly affected by the government’s decision to cut funding for the te reo Māori teacher training.

“It’s really important that we have passionate kaiako who want to do the best in learning te reo Māori in front of our tamariki Māori,” he says.

Funding and investing into Māori sectors and initiatives don’t just benefit Māori, but all individuals in Aotearoa.

For the government to fund more Māori initiatives, Moriarty says individuals need to encourage those in power, from a place of love.

“The only way we’re gonna get through all the problems that society faces, and the future problems is to love each other,” he says.

The money is not missing—the government has chosen to defund Māori and invest elsewhere. This isn’t independent to one single Māori sector. It reflects an attempted systemic shift in which Māori are not financially prioritised or acknowledged.

As the election approaches, we need to spread love and encourage unity as a form of political resistance.

This year, vote knowing next time we ask ‘Kei hea ngā pūtea?’—we already know the answer.

Massive Magazine

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Features • Ahuatanga • 04

B

ecoming financially literate as someone who cheated their way through Year 11 Math has been no easy feat. I can barely tally the scores of a board game, and even then, flashbacks of my dad yelling, “WHAT’S TEN TIMES TWO?” pinch my tear ducts.

Beith understands that making the first steps on your investment journey can feel daunting. She says that to decode the language of investing and understand basic concepts “curiousity will help you get underway”.

So, when a Van-Cleef-wearing-boss-lady on Instagram reels says: “I retired at 30 through investing.” I was all ears.

She speaks on the challenges that come with finding the right investments for you, particularly for people who want their investments to reflect their values.

My explore page turned into a finance bro’s wet dream. Every scroll was drenched in filthy wealth and bad-bitch women explaining where I should put my money.

I was completely hooked.

Before long, I was a self-proclaimed expert in the field of financial literacy. I regurgitated facts from the internet and my dad’s mansplained explanations of Sharesies.

Beith says, “There is a misconception that you have to give up returns [to remain ethical].”

Beith uses a system with new clients, which she calls a light green to dark green spectrum. Clients who sit on the light green spectrum are people who want to stay away from things like sunset industries (mature or declining businesses), the tobacco industry, and weapons.

After trying to convince my ex-boyfriend’s mum to start investing her money, I realised I had a serious problem... I hadn’t even invested before. I was just another 20 year old with a Sharesies account on their phone waiting for the email verification code.

Alternatively, clients who sit on the dark green spectrum are more likely to only invest in portfolios that explicitly invest in companies that are aligned with the Sustainable Development Goals (SDG).

I thought I was going to dive headfirst into the world of investing and come out with gold doubloons for eyes. But my naivety had set me up for a nasty reality.

“If you can really articulate those [your values] and get them down on paper, that’s a good starting point,” she says.

Articulating what values are most important to you means that you are more likely to find funds that have companies that mirror your value system.

Scrolling through the list of companies in the high-growth fund felt like reading a list of the top ten most corrupt, hated, and evil conglomerate corporations. There was no way I was going to give my money to companies like Amazon, Microsoft, and Apple.

How can I invest my money ethically when all the ethical investments feel like giving a donation, but all the stocks that do well are funding companies that I don’t align with?

I felt hopeless and confused. I was struggling to understand all the different percentages and unexplained acronyms... EFT, GIC. I was so overwhelmed with the financial jargon, and all I could see were companies that directly oppose everything that I believe in.

The issue was that ethically sustainable funds had more red arrows pointing down than green pointing up. I don’t know much about investing, but I do know that an upside-down red arrow is a good marker for what not to put your money into.

I looked towards ESG (Environment, Social, and Governance) investments to help match my financial goals with my personal set of values. ESG is a sustainable approach to investing that assesses companies based on their sustainability and ethical practices, paired with their financial performance.

Speaking to Katie Beith, Head of ESG for the New Zealand Exchange firm Forsyth Bar, helped me bust some common myths that come with ethical investing.

However, investing is all about diversifying. In other words, don’t put all your eggs in one basket because the market naturally ebbs and flows. The more you’re invested in, the more likely you are to keep building wealth during periods of underperformance in the market.

“The narrower you invest, the harder it is to create a well-diversified portfolio,” says Beith.

If making your first investment feels as daunting as choosing an elective, you are not alone. The number-word-combo transported me back to lessons in algebra. Much like math class, I was fighting my brain from turning off involuntarily instead of educating myself. If you’re like me, Beith says the best thing to do is ask a professional. Someone who has a “ full-time job spending 100% of their time living, breathing, dreaming, and analysing companies”.

There’s are also heaps of free resources online which teach people about investing.

If you’re aspiring to be a financially literate baddie who can afford a drink at Ascott’s without a guilty conscience, Katie Beith has your back. Instead of watching Becca Bloom’s latest Hermes haul, try doomscrolling “Friends that Invest” instead.

The first step towards being your own sugar daddy is just a simple list.

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The rise and fall of NFTs

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first few years of the 2020s, it felt n the like NFTs could actually become a respectable form of currency. These ugly little illustrations were everywhere and worth millions.

Until they weren’t.

NFT stands for ‘non-fungible token’ and are digital items presented usually through a small art piece. They can be verified, bought, sold, and traded. Before you ask why you can’t just screenshot them, there are coded identifiers in each NFT, which means they can be authenticated.

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Basically, they’re Pokémon cards for adult babies with way too much money.

People thought this was the next big thing that would earn them bank. Even celebrities like Paris Hilton, Snoop Dog and Justin Bieber fell for the hype. But in the span of five months, the NFT industry went from being worth $42 billion to $1.6 billion (NZD). Three months later, it was official—trading value had declined by 97%. This decorated Bitcoin was dead.

It was as if we all woke up, and the apes became a shared fever dream.

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Words by Lee Judi • THEY/THEM

Art by Olive Bartlett • SHE/THEY

The NFT hype started to build in 2020, just as COVID-19 hit.

Three major elements of Covid pushed NFTs to the masses: In early-covid Aotearoa, the government gave out $12.1 1. billion in subsidies for people who couldn’t work during the pandemic. Suddenly, people had disposable income coming in and nowhere to spend it except online markets. Why save for holidays you can’t go on when you could invest in your digital portfolio?

NZ’s commerce commission reported that internet usage 2. went up by 37% during March 2020. As our lives became increasingly digital, our internet identities became the primary source of how we were perceived. How we presented online became the person that people could interact with. Funding your online self by buying NFTs would give you the clout you needed to enter an exclusive digital space.

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We were bored out of our minds.

The early 2020s were the heyday of NFTs. It wasn’t just celebrities and rich investors getting in. Your average Joe was investing his life savings into what he thought would make him David Walliams’ Billionaire Boy. The average Bored Ape token was worth $590,000. Arguably, this was the most recognisable collection, and there were 10,000 of these tokens overall.

But as soon as the hype died, the value died with it. Sure enough, it all came crashing down.

Just a year after its original $4.8 million purchase, the “just setting up my twttr” NFT was worth a measly $11,300. The news stopped covering it, so we stopped following it.

An NFT’s worth was determined by demand, rarity, status, the reputation of the creator, and the creator’s trading history. This meant that celebrity collections had inherently high prices because of their status. It also meant that friends could trade NFTs back and forth—falsely inflating their value.

This unstable metric was a recipe for disaster.

NFTs use the same niche marketing as other collectible products like sneakers or sports cards. Using easter eggs and NFT drops, creators targeted audiences who were looking for a digital community—especially during Covid, where a physical community was lacking.

While NFTs seemed like a one-time shocking stock moment, we’ve seen it before. From 1995 to 1998, little toy bears called Beanie Babies reached up to $500,000 each in value. But, as we know, what goes up must come down.

The Beanie Babies trading industry crashed by 90% in 1999 according to The Great Beanie Baby Bubble. When people stopped caring about Beanie Babies, the worth of each bear dissipated. It’s hard for me to write about the fall of NFTs without using sarcasm. As a working class, NFT-outsider, the idea of having hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend on something with a made-up worth is an absolute joke.

Especially when you spend your days working a 12-hour shift.

The only reason these algorithmically generated images had any worth is because people said they did. But I can’t help but point out that this actually applies to every consumer item.

Every Stanley drink bottle, every Louis Vuitton plain white T, and every Labubu all have a made-up value that we placed on them.

For many, this isn’t the same—NFTs are intangible while a Labubu is physical. But the difference between a Nike hoodie and one from The Warehouse is just as intangible as an ape token. Their sweatshops are probably neighbouring buildings.

Yet we still buy the Nike hoodie because of the value we convince ourselves—and each other—it has.

It’s easy to laugh at people buying dumb bitcoin shit (and boy, do I love taking the piss out of crypto guys). But I can’t do so without considering the made-up value of belongings that sit in my bedroom To point the finger at the ridiculousness of NFTs is to point the finger at consumerist culture altogether. You don’t get one without the other. Capitalism has been playing this trick on us since the 16th century.

During the 1630s, the Netherlands experienced ‘Tulip Mania’.

A single tulip could cost more than a luxurious Amsterdam home—10,000 guilders or roughly $9,300 NZD today.

At the time, the most prized flowers were diseased, which gave them a striped appearance. As usual, the tulip markets collapsed in 1637, and the flowers decreased to a tenth of their value.

From flowers, toy bears, and shitty images of monkeys, meaningless product phenomena are a result of an economic system that shelves innovation for quick cash. Get in and get out before people stop caring.

So, when the next remarkable never-seen-before merchandise rise comes, snicker with absurdism at capitalism—not the people falling for the same ruse you do.

Massive Magazine

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centrefold

WORDS BY GRACE BYRNE SHE/HER • NGĀTI POROU

Grocery shopping is joke. o n upermarket aisles have seen ts hou cras

S

me through many over cheese prices. But there’s always been one thing waiting for me at the counter that makes up for the pain.

Some were prized possessions, and others were instantly discarded with the shopping bags. Everyone had at least one that they obsessed over.

Supermarket collectibles began in 2013 with New World’s ‘Little Shops’. They’ve since expanded with fun new collectible line rolling out every couple years.

What does your favourite say about you?

If your coffee table is currently home to a village of Woolworth’s Lego Bricks—you’re not alone. But if you’re using these current collectibles to justify spending an extra $20 on that easter chocolate… yikes.

As a kid, your parents had to drag you out of Toyworld.

Now, you study Industrial Design and are desperately grasping onto those little plastic bricks to keep your inner child intact.

Building the Lego Millennium Falcon at age eight might be the magnum opus of your creative career. But your chances of love get slimmer every time you add your newest build to your bedside table.

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LEGO BRICKKS BRIC

CUBEEEZ CUBE A Minecraft kid at heart, these cubes brought nostalgia to your supermarket trips. They were also a convenient decoration for your otherwise barren flat. Rumour has it that a creeper blew up your last flat, resulting in an immediate eviction. It definitely wasn’t the raging flatwarming... lunchbox.

MOVIE PR P ROJ OJEECTOR CARDS

You mourn the loss of DVDs and VHS to this day and use Letterboxd as your personal diary (Heads up: no one cares). You’re guilty of borrowing camera gear from Massey and returning it two weeks late.

Fuelled by energy drinks and Instagram reels, you request extensions like it’s no one’s business.

You’re totally capable of locking in, you’d just rather rewatch old seasons of Love Island UK.

Massive Magazine

SUPER ANIMALS Remember your wolf girl phase?

Everyone else does too. You ROCKED those galaxy leggings five days a week in intermediate school (bonus points if you had a matching hoodie).

Collecting these funky animal facts wasn’t just a hobby—it was a lifestyle. You probably spent

A Discord veteran, you’ve never gone a day without some doomscroll-bed-rot time. You’re the funny friend but can’t tell when a joke is over. What’s under that facade of self-deprecating jokes?

That’s a secret you’ll never tell.

many school lunchtimes desperately trading your LeSnaks for more cards.

When you’re not doomscrolling Facebook Marketplace for pieces to add to your gorp-core aesthetic, you’re going off grid again to avoid writing that essay.

Nature walks ‘keep you sane’, but talking to yourself in the middle of the bush isn’t proving your point.

If you loved collecting the stickers that earned you different Smeg kitchenware, you have your shit together. You think being called type A is a compliment. There is not a spontaneous bone in your body, but hey, you have a never-ending supply of knives, tupperware, and dishes.

Doing the Wordle during your lectures is a daily ritual. You’re right! It does count as studying. Sure, stress baking is a healthy coping mechanism, until you realise you’ve spent your entire paycheck on those eggs.

SMEG SME KIT KI TCHEN CHENW WARE

HELLO granola girlies. You were one of the only people who managed to get these plants to grow. Your mum made sure to post evidence of this all over her Facebook.

LITTLE GARDEN

New World’s Little Shops were the OG collectible.

They were popular for a reason. However, the reason you were popular in primary school was because you always had fruit strings in your lunchbox.

Now, your uni lunches consist of $8 iced lattes paired with an old croissant in your bag. You own it though, and those lattes have never once failed you. Your room is either spotless, or you can’t see the carpet. There’s no in between.

Messy as your habits may be, your brain calms down when your occupation is as hectic as your room. You probably study nursing or another job that maintains your caffeine addiction.

LITTLE SHOPS

Massive Magazine

The monstera in your living room is your pride and joy, outlasting most of your high school friendships. You’re a Textiles student who has to explain their room is an organised mess every time someone new enters.

Next time you’re watering your plants, remember to replenish your own roots with a large glass of water. Sadly, three cups of coffee a day aren’t cutting it.

Money

ellice

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Massive Magazine

Features • Ahuatanga • 04

O

n the 4th of February the sun finally shone in Wellington.

The days leading up were windy, wet and miserable—but things were looking up.

Unfortunately, our summery joy was short lived. At 1am, a failure at the Moa Point wastewater treatment plant began pumping 70 million litres of raw sewage into Wellington’s south coast per day.

As bizarre as this was, it was a long time coming. Lack of investment into our critical infrastructure is a tale as old as time in New Zealand. Someone always ends up paying the price. This time it was Wellington’s turn.

Despite my warnings that swimming in raw sewage wasn’t a good idea, my flatmates were optimistic that the swimming ban was an exaggeration. They were set on going to Breakers Bay and lured me into the car under the pretence we were going to Oriental. My pleas were finally accepted when, upon arrival, the air around us literally smelt like shit.

The events of ‘Poopgate’ or the ‘Poonami’ feel like a cruel trick from the universe. The second the sun comes out, our beaches become full of toilet paper, period products, and poo. But how did this even happen?

The simple cause behind the failure was heavy rain. The plant’s long outfall—a 1.8km pipe which carries treated wastewater to the Cook Strait—backed up. This flooded the plant and caused a power outage, making it completely inoperable. As a result, millions of litres of sewage were redirected into the ocean, just five meters from shore.

Now, the long outfall has been partially fixed, with sewage now being pumped 1.8km out to sea. While this is better than five meters from shore. It’s far from a perfect fix.

While heavy rain is an easy target to blame, the underlying cause of Poopgate is poor management and insufficient funding.

Moa Point’s wastewater plant is operated by Wellington Water, which contracts a multinational company called Veolia to handle operations.

An article published by The Spinoff says that this failure stems from Veolia, “after years of documented non-compliance and operational problems at the plant”.

RNZ reported that Veolia has had several overseas legal cases after maintenance failures at other plants resulted in raw sewage being discharged into the oceans.

The company is responsible for 3200 wastewater plants and 3800 drinking water production plants glovally. It has operated the Moa Point plant on behalf of Wellington Water since 2004.

Since then, it’s been the subject of numerous scandals including mismanagement, poor maintenance and risky cost-cutting. In 2021, Wellington Water commissioned a report on Veolia that highlights understaffing, inexperience, and lack of oversight.

The warning signs have been blaring for years.

Poop-gate is not a one-off incident. Wellington has a long history of underfunding our water systems. This is from Wellington City Council (WCC) wanting to save money. However, it’s led to leaky pipes, closed beaches, sea life harm, and shit everywhere.

In 2024, WCC, Hutt Valley City Council, and Porirua City Council announced their water system funding. It was only 48% of what Wellington Water recommended the councils should spend. At the time, it was noted this lack of funding for Moa Point’s electrical control systems would create high risks to the plant’s operations.

In a press release, the minister for climate, energy and revenue, Simon Watts, said: “As a nation, the need to invest more in our water infrastructure is clear as we fix the basics and build the future. We need to make sure ratepayers’ investment in water infrastructure is used wisely.”

Acknowledging the need for investment is one thing, but acting on it is another.

For years, governments and councils have put our water infrastructure into the ‘too hard’ box. Proposed plans of upgrades to this critical infrastructure are often looked upon as a waste of taxpayer money.

If this recent failure at Moa Point has shown anything, it’s that maintaining our water infrastructure should be a top priority. We aren’t going to forget what happened just because Andrew Little went swimming in poo-infested waters.

We are still months away from the plant being fully restored and Poopgate’s impact continues with no clear solution in sight. But perhaps change is on its way…

A new water organisation called Tiaka Wai will take over ownership and operation of Wellington’s water infrastructure. This is part of the Government’s new plan, Local Water Done Well (LWDW).

LWDW will address the history of underfunding of this essential infrastructure. While also meeting environmental, economic, and water quality regulatory requirements.

Hopefully, this will lead to proper funding in our water infrastructure. In the meantime, we will breathe in poo-stenched-air, swim in poo-filledwaters, and remember the ever-lasting impacts of Poopgate.

le The Avoidab edy of g a r T ) y l st o C (and Wellington’s Sewage Leakage... 21 Massive Magazine 21

Back To The Hillside w/ The Early 20’s and Somniium SMALL GODS TAPROOM Fri, 13 March

01 researchintospeed - ADCSR 02 Pining Radiata - So Confused 03 LAUGHING STOCK - Sixk 04 MeanOwls - Everything is Fine 05 Tū ViBe - Tevolutionise truth here 06 Polaroids of Polarbears - the hinge,

Kevin Le Pennec The Stomach Fri, 13 March

the hustler and the hyena

07 Menzies - Appy 08 King Hit - sap 09 Ripship - Bon Voyage (Alphabethead Remix) 10 G.L.N.C - Good Luck Nihilist Club

Housewithches, Side Eye, Gift Horse MOON Sat, 14 March

Rust Angel - Hive Mother

Tuesday 10th March: 11AM—1PM - Preeti, George, Either Eyether Tuesday 17th March: 11AM—1PM - Maeve, Emma Carter, Crass

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Massive Magazine

Columns • Tīwae • 05

Hey darl!

My third husband dated a witch once. I remember coming home from my twelve-hour shift at the diner to Phil sitting cross-legged on the carpet, attempting a money spell.

He remained unemployed for the rest of our relationship.

My friend is dati ng leader. He seem a cult s nice, but he has very so ritualistic habits. me I’m afraid he will try re out to me to join aching his c What should I d ult. o?

I always try to approach these situations with an ‘open heart, open mind’ attitude. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or even dabble in a cheeky ritual to understand what your friend is getting into. However, when the manifesting turns into a sacrifice, that’s your queue, babe.

In my experience, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

While I advise you not tell your friend directly that their man is going to ruin their lives and steal their money. If he starts giving “I want to wear a vile of your blood around my neck” vibes, it might be a good time to set some healthy boundaries. You might need to gentle parent your friend into putting some space between their tealight candles and their boyfriend.

XOX

Mother Massive ASK

MOTHER MASSIVE

Money

Tax returns are all fun and games until you realise you’ve spent $250 on sex toys and they’ve been delivered to your ex’s house.

Hey. Hi. Welcome to the most humbling experience of my adult life.

It’s been six months since the moment I quite literally screamed “NO” out loud in my bedroom, and I’m still not convinced I’ve recovered. So, in the spirit of healing (and peer pressure from my friends), I’m laying it bare.

It all went down a few weeks after my ex and I called it quits. We were textbook high school sweethearts, fully convinced we were endgame, until uni hit and we realised we were completely different people. Also, a single, slutty summer sounded hot... so we broke up.

I was sad for approximately seven business days, then I became aggressively infatuated

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Massive Magazine

Columns • Tīwae • 05

Sexcapade submissions provided by

For 20% off yo ur next purchase, enter discou nt with a friend. He’s funny, pick-you-up-with-one-arm strong and dresses like he actually cares how he looks. I was catastrophically down bad.

It was just my luck that he recognised the store name, got curious, opened the package and found one bright pink vibrator. Sadly, we were still very much in the “who’s winning the breakup” phase—reader, I was not winning.

Unfortunately, he did not feel catastrophic about me.

So, when my tax return landed, I decided if he won’t p-n-v me or DJ my clit, I’ll just have to find a toy that does.

What I forgot (and this is important) is that I had once ordered a spicy little Valentine’s gift to my ex’s address, and the website had savedit. Obviously, I realised this AFTER it had been delivered and he had texted me about it.

To his credit, he didn’t keep it. He passed it to a mutual friend to give to me, but the damage was already done.

Now every time I use that little self-love investment, instead of thinking about my latest infatuation, I remember the day I lost the breakup to a tax return impulse.

Massive Magazine

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Chin up queen! Your crown is falling.

Take an everything shower and regain your sparkle before you tackle your workload.

Your secret, sneaky link wants to take things to the next level this week.

Are you ready to turn your Romeo and Juliet fantasy into something more concrete?

Everybody wants to be your friend Gemini, but don’t forget your OGs. Take note of who’s going to pick up your 3am crash-out call and who’s using you for your clout.

A big move is on the horizon, so keep a close eye on your money this week.

Make sure your savings can support your future aspirations.

You’ve been crazy, and everyone’s sick of your messy behaviour. Stick to being a trailblazer instead of a bridge burner.

The universe has noticed extending your comfort zone recently and a reward is coming your way. Big moves will be made towards your career this week. Congrats!

Someone is sucking your energy like a vampire. As venus moves into Aries, it’s time to stop being a pushover. T ake back your power.

You’re being a real b-word, Scorpio.

The gossiping isn’t giving Lady Whistledown... everyone knows who’s spilling the tea.

Stop flexing on the people around you. Your hard work is being recognised by your peers, so stay humble. Nobody likes a show pony…

With Mercury in retrograde, you might be hearing your name in the mouths of others. Let your actions reflect your values, and don’t lose your cool.

Babe, put your wallet away. Your savings are crying for help, and the iced coffee you just bought isn’t helping. Your student loan isn’t meant for shopping.

It’s time for some serious personal reflection. With mercury in retrograde, it’ll feel easy to make quick decisions.

Understand yourself before making bold moves.

Massive Magazine

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Money

Dough

Supermarket

Gold mine

Cash

Kiwisaver

Bitcoin

Loaded

Finance bro

Broke

Investing

Wallet

Tax return

Paywave

Banking

Student loan

Dollars

Studylink

Massive Magazine

Puzzles • Panga • 07

1. Previous name of the supermarket chain who rebranded recently (9)

7. Which mountain is in the background of the 50c coin (8)

3. Polynesian island country that uses NZD (4, 7)

13. Name of official currency in Samoa (6, 4)

2. Largest NZ owned bank (8)

9. Sound associated with making money (3, 5)

4. What ‘POS’ stands for (5, 2, 5)

14. What is ¥ (8, 3)

4. Last weeks Massive issue theme (3, 7)

10. Most expensive property in Monopoly (7)

8. Bird featured on the $5 note (5)

15. Richest country in the world in 2025 (9)

5. “Why can’t we just print more money?” (9)

12. Cartoon mascot to advertise the change in NZ currency (2, 6)

17. Slang word for money, more commonly used when baking (5)

6. Which smelly Wellington beach did Andrew Little swim at? (5, 3)

16. What is € (4)

11. Name of the day NZ switched from pounds, shillings, and pence to dollars and cents (7, 8, 3)

Massive Magazine

29

Money

Do you enjoy scouring news sites every morning or know all the latest gossip on campus? You’d fit right in as a Massive news reporter. We have our Manawatū news reporter role up for grabs!

As a news reporter, you’ll be responsible for keeping students in the loop about what’s happening on your respective campus. You will:

Send your CV, cover letter, and examples of your writing to: editor@massivemagazine.org.nz with the subject line ‘Application for insert role here’.

Don’t be shy, any examples of writing will do from an essay from class or a poem from your note’s app.

Cover by Olive Bartlett

Centrefold by Brianna Grap

es

Massive Magazine

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