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Annual Ink is an imprint of Massey University Press First published in 2019 by Massey University Press Private Bag 102904, North Shore Mail Centre Auckland 0745, New Zealand www.masseypress.ac.nz Text copyright © Michael Stuart Petherick, 2019 Illustrations on pages 50, 55, 72–73, 85, 102, 107, and 159 copyright © Paul Beavis, 2019 Design and additional illustrations by Marcus Thomas Cover by Paul Beavis Thanks to Will and Jean Cleaver-Paris, Rātā and Lucian Petherick, Buster Burne, Katia Pollock, and Eleanor and Josephine Thomas Moore for their splendid work. The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted. All rights reserved. Except as provided by the Copyright Act 1994, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner(s) and the publisher. A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand. Printed and bound in China by Everbest Investment Ltd. ISBN: 978-0-9941415-7-6

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4 June th

status update: hating muesli in all its forms colour: off-green

Hello new diary Brand-new school. Day 3. New Kid smell coming out my pores in a fug. Ugh. The kids seem nice, but no one wants to actually hang out with me. YET. That’s what Dad says. The power of YET. No one wants to hang out with me YET. The school is ultra beige. Literally. Won’t hold it against the kids because they didn’t choose the colour, but ugh times two. Plus how about all the concrete? What school doesn’t have grass and trees? Dad at work until 5 so I went to the library. Started this diary, his idea for a way to channel my New Kid fug. Headphones on so I could pretend I was listening to something insanely interesting instead of being Dreadflock no-mates. There’s a noticeboard in the library foyer. I love a good noticeboard, especially the one in the supermarket back home. This one’s a classic. A notice from a guy who’s lost his goat. Naenae dirt man, who wants to sell a pile of dirt. A galaxy hidden in the palm of your hand?? Who are these people? What can you do with a pile of dirt? A librarian was patrolling the notices. Pointy eagle glasses raked up at the corners and a cardy straight off the rack at Cat’s Protection League. A collection of badges: ‘Save the Dinosaurs (from themselves)’. ‘A Philip Larkin a Day Keeps the Sunshine Away’ (Philip Larkin?). She was pulling out pins, screwing up notices. Enjoying a tidy-up.

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I wanted to say: MEAN! Don’t do that! Instead I distracted her, smiled sweetly. Excuse me, can you please recommend some books? I like sci-fi and fantasy. We went straight to the O’s. The Silver Crown by Robert C. O’Brien. Review pending, but so far, seriously creepy. Also Ghost by Jason Reynolds. Not sci-fi or fantasy – about running. When she described it, I thought, do I look like I read books about running and stuff? We’ll see. The diversion tactic worked, anyway. And Eagle Glasses knows the Newtoun library like it’s an extension of her brain. Plus I saved a few notices, even found space for two of my own. Came up with some eye-catching material, pinned my notices up, and sent a prayer to the universe: Please let someone a little bit cool notice my notice (not Gary who’s lost his goat, though maybe I should let him know his one’s been binned).

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Is this Gary?

The librarian took down your notice

If u make another one, I’ll keep an eye on it

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jo_nah

df

d_flock

ping u======> this dreadflock? You are communicating with Dreadflock you make stuff wif cassette tapes? Sure do

You saw my notice?

Ha ha I only put it up yesterday! me ===> jonah Hey Jonah i love tapes. iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got like 100000000000 AWESOME loads at the dump shop What do you do with them? take them to bits w my sis & drive dad nuts \(>_<)/ Someone has to

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To: community.constable@newtoun.police.govt.nz From: anahera@newtoun.school.nz Subject: Community engagement

Tēnā koe Constable Rutene I saw your notice at the library. Would love to meet to discuss sometime. A community event sounds intriguing. This term, the senior syndicate’s focus is leadership. It could be a great way to encourage our students to walk the talk. Tumeke! I have parent–teacher interviews this week, but perhaps a meeting after that? Ngā mihi Anahera Ropata Senior syndicate leader Newtoun School

To: anahera@newtoun.school.nz From: community.constable@newtoun.police.govt.nz Subject: RE: Community engagement

Tēnā koe Anahera Working with your kids sounds a lot better than school visits with the dog handler. Trips in the patrol car, sirens blasting etc., always fun – but keen to give something else a go. Have been wondering about a Waitangi festival in Newtoun – perhaps at

T

the school. Now I’m thinking we call it Tumeke! Might be too major of a major? Let me know if it’s yeah slash nah. Ngā mihi Constable Rutene (Piripi)

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df

jo_nah

d_flock

tapes are retro kool. how old r u

Your class? Ha ha. Guess

ha ha. same. what school

mr boleras Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s he like? lets us play music in the classroom

Newtoun. Since the day before yesterday

heaps mr boleras = cool

omg you = new kid!!!

want to come round and look at my 100000000000 tapes Def

everyone LOVES your hair ?

Initely

ms ropata? Yup

so you know all about seaweed

â&#x20AC;Ś

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cardboy

...

cardboy I have to get rid of crads. pictured. Buy or sWap View 2 comments sulphurmummy7142 you wnat dorlls? Ive got dolls mum sez I need to get rid. Sawp for dorls? cardboy ok

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To: community.constable@newtoun.police.govt.nz From: anahera@newtoun.school.nz Subject: RE: RE: Community engagement

Kia ora Piripi You’ve struck gold in the staffroom. Tumeke idea excellent. A communityfocused engagement will tick endless boxes with the principal and the school committee. Plus two-and-a-bit terms for dreaming up ideas. Our kids will love it. I have non-contact on Tues, so could do 11am at that new place on Gundry St? Forget the name, but great cheese scones. Heoi anō, nā Anahera Ropata Senior syndicate leader Newtoun School

To: anahera@newtoun.school.nz From: community.constable@newtoun.police.govt.nz Subject: RE: RE: RE: Community engagement

11am Tues sounds perfect. If you mean Cafe 71, I’m in. Their lolly cake! Breakfast of champions.

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I’m interested in your pet walking service. great. Im highly turstworthy with references I have double doodles that require regular exercise. what’s a double dooddle didn’t know that was a thing Most certainly a thing. I’m a dog breeder. Can verify the excellence of the species. how many doodles Five Five dd walkgin would be $15 Your notice says $10? Mum says double doodles are highly strung & bark at birds & don’t obey instrucions Yes, they do make wonderful companions.

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Profile for Massey University Press

#Tumeke!  

Plans for the Newtoun community’s Waitangi Day celebrations are well under way. The Tape Orchestra’s practising like mad. Monty and Mr Steve...

#Tumeke!  

Plans for the Newtoun community’s Waitangi Day celebrations are well under way. The Tape Orchestra’s practising like mad. Monty and Mr Steve...

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