Intimate relationships 7th edition miller solutions manual

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Chapter 7 Friendship

CHAPTER 7 FRIENDSHIP Learning Objectives At the conclusion of Chapter 7, students should be able to: 1. Define friendship, noting its affective, communal, and sociable aspects. Differentiate friendship from love using the five components of rewarding intimacy (respect, trust, capitalization, social support, and responsiveness) with special attention to the complexity of social support in close relationships.

2. Identify the rules of friendship and reflect on how likely we are to follow them and whether they are linked to relationship success.

3. Identify the interpersonal needs as stated by Buhrmester and Furman for children over the course of their lives.

4. Portray relationships in the adolescent period of life including evidence from event sampling and attachment studies on the shift from parents to peers.

5. Comment on intimacy in the relationships of young adulthood and discuss how it might change during the transition to college.

6. Explain the nature of dyadic withdrawal in midlife.

7. Explain how socioemotional selectivity theory accounts for the finding that seniors have smaller social networks than younger people.

8. Reflect on why women’s same-sex friendships are more intimate than men’s. Explain the role culture plays in inhibiting intimacy in North American men.

9. Describe the role of individual differences in friendships. Identify the qualities that differentiate the relationships of those with an interdependent self-construal from those who view themselves as independent agents and list the characteristics that make interdependent people desirable friends.

10. Explain that men and women can be close friends even though barriers complicate these cross-sex friendships. Describe the complexities of sexual attraction within a cross-sex friendship.

11. Describe the major elements in the shyness syndrome. Indicate the characteristics that distinguish shy from non-shy individuals and describe the way shy people are in their IM-7 | 1 Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.

Chapter 7 Friendship

interactions and social life. Summarize research evidence on how excuses for poor interactions affect the anxiety levels of shy people, and indicate what implications these findings have for whether shyness is a deficit in skills or a deficit in performing skills that one has mastered.

12. Distinguish social loneliness from emotional loneliness.

13. Briefly describe the UCLA Loneliness Scale and the three themes that would produce high loneliness scores.

14. Describe the cycle of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that seems to solidify or intensify loneliness. Discuss how loneliness and shyness appear similar but differ in several key ways (e.g., interpersonal behaviors).

15. Suggest ways of counteracting the self-defeating thoughts and behaviors associated with loneliness.

Class Activity/Discussion Ideas Attributes of Friendships First, in small groups, have students generate ideas about the attributes of friendships.

Each member should participate. Next, have one person from each group write their group’s list on the board. Third, as a class put the items on the board in a descending order with most important item first and least important last. Let the students decide how to determine the order (perhaps by voting). Finally, discuss as a class whether these attributes and the order of the attributes might differ for men and women or from culture to culture.

Friendship Components The textbook describes rich friendships as including respect, trust, responsiveness, capitalization, social comparison, and social support. To encourage students to think about how these components work, ask them to think about how friendships that do not include one or more of these might function. They could do this in small groups or as a full class. Also ask if this list is missing anything. Do friendships need any other elements?

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Chapter 7 Friendship

Tend and Befriend Discuss the theory of tend-and-befriend posited by Shelley Taylor and colleagues in their 2000 article. In this article, they described the tendency for much of the research on stress to be done on men and male animals, leading to a bias toward male responses to stress.

They described the neuroendocrine response of females and the role of hormones such as oxytocin on maternal and affiliative behaviors. They described the affiliative response of human females under stress and why such responses may be helpful to coping with stress.

Taylor, S.E., Klein, L.C., Lewis, B.P, Gruenewald, T.L., Gurung, R.A.G., & Updegraff, J.A. (2000). Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-Befriend, not Fight-o r-Flight. Psychological Review, 107, 411–429.

Friendship and the Lifespan As a class, discuss how aspects of friendship may be different in middle age. How might the normative life events (children in school) influence the course of friendship? How might non-normative events during middle adulthood (e.g., loss of a spouse) influence friendship? Discuss the same kind of issues for individuals in old age. What are the features of old age that influence friendships? Do older people have fewer or more friends than they had in previous life periods? What aspects about friendships and relationships are you expecting in your later adulthood? Be careful to point out and discuss stereotypes of old age and of friendship.

When Harry Met Sally If you showed the movie When Harry Met Sally for an assignment in Chapter 3 or 4, rewatch the scene where Sally and Harry discuss whether men and women can be friends (at their second meeting, on a plane from New York) and remind the students of the subsequent friendship of the two lead characters. Is this an accurate depiction of cross-sex friendships? What kind of difficulties do cross-sex friends have when they are single?

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Chapter 7 Friendship

Friendship Rules In class, ask students to examine the Rules of Friendship table (Table 7.2), decide which of the 10 items listed is most important to them, and think about why they chose that item or those items. They should think about a time in their life when that item was important to them in a friendship. Then, in groups of 2 or 3, have students share the aspects of friendships they believe are important and their stories about why those are important. In the group, discuss differences between individuals in what is important and why those differences seem to exist. Discuss whether anyone in the group has changed their mind about which aspects are most important.

Relational Self-Construal Scale The Relational Self-Construal Scale is published in Cross, Bacon, and Morris’ (2000) article on relational self-construal. The scale is 11 items long. To expand on your discussion of relational self-construal, make copies of this scale, ask students to fill it out and find their score, and discuss their response to what they find.

Cross, S.E., Bacon, P.L., & Morris, M.L. (2000). The relational-interdepentent selfconstrual and relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 791–808.

Lonely Too Begin your discussion of loneliness by playing Lee Ann Womack’s song Lonely Too. In this song she describes the feeling of being cut off from others.

Loneliness Scale After completing the UCLA Loneliness Scale, have students pair up with a fellow classmate to discuss responses: Were there aspects about the exercise that initiated frustration, anxiety or fear present within you? Did you experience recent or past memories? Respond to the complexity of loneliness.

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Chapter 7 Friendship

For Your Consideration Divide the class into small groups and have them discuss the scenario presented in the For Your Consideration section. As a group, based upon their reading of this chapter, answer the question: What does the future hold for Don and Teddi’s friendship? Ask each group to report their assessment to the class citing specific concepts or research that supports their positions.

Assignments/Student Projects Friendships Over Time To encourage students to think about friendships and how they work, ask students to do the following exercise before reading the chapter. Have the students return to these after reading the chapter and reflect on what they learn. Assignment: Before reading your textbook take a few minutes to recall who your best friend was when you were a child.

What were the dynamics of that relationship? Why did you like/love that person? Is this person still active in your life? If so, how has the relationship changed over time? If not, how did that relationship end? What are you feeling as you recall memories related to this person? Write out your answers to these questions. Now think about a friend you have now. How would you describe the dynamics of that relationship? Why do you like that person? Write out your thoughts to these questions.

Movie Friendships Ask the students to watch the movie Good Will Hunting, and in a short paper or essay, discuss how well Hollywood represented friendships in the characters played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Using specific examples, which aspects of friendship are accurately presented and which are missing? Which aspects of typical male friendship patterns are represented and which ones are missing? Again, use specific examples from the movie. An alternative, which shows friendship patterns among women, is the Sex and the City series and movies. You can also find themes of friendship and conflict in many other films, from Toy Story to Juno.

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Chapter 7 Friendship

Survey of Loneliness Before talking about loneliness, ask students to survey six people. They should ask these individuals: When do you feel lonely? What do you do when you are lonely? All students should bring their responses to class. As a class, discuss whether the responses from the survey confirmed research findings. If you would rather get into more of the definitional aspects of loneliness, have students ask six people to define loneliness. If possible they should try to ask people of different ages.

Loneliness in Movies Ask students to watch the movie Another Year. In a short paper or essay, they should discuss how well the film represents loneliness in the character of Mary. Using specific examples from the movie, they should identify aspects that the movie presents accurately and note the aspects that are missing from the movie. They should also identify the techniques mentioned in the text that the female character uses to cope with her loneliness, using specific examples from the movie. How does she compare to the other characters in the film, especially Tom and Gerri, their son, and Ken?

Shyness on the Web To expand on the discussion of shyness in the text, ask students to visit the Shyness Homepage (www.shyness.com) and explore the resources there. There are a number of shyness related surveys and resources related to shyness.

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