Mars' Hill Newspaper Issue 9

4 ACTS 17:19-20

7 VOLUME 17, ISSUE 9

FEBRUARY 13, 2013

13 marshillonline.com

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February 13, 2013

FROM THE EDITOR. MARS’ HILL

|THE TEAM

7600 Glover Rd. Langley, BC V2Y 1Y1 604 513 2109 MARS’ HILL

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of ;YPUP[` >LZ[LYU <UP]LYZP[` ÅVH[LK ^P[O M\UKZ YHPZLK I` [OL :[\KLU[ (ZZVJPH[PVU Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and YLSL]HU[ Z[\KLU[ W\ISPJH[PVU YLÅLJ[PUN HUK JOHSSLUNPUN [OL ;>< JVTT\UP[` ^OPSL PU[LU[PVUHSS` HKKYLZZPUN SVJHS UH[PVUHS HUK PU[LYUH[PVUHS PZZ\LZ

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

visual editor

MISSION TO MARS

JUSTIN POULSEN

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LAURA JENSEN

Goodness vs. gracious

BETHANY ROY

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LAURA JENSEN

photo editor

JUSTIN SMITH

layout editor

BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

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CHRISTINE RMAH

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ALEX PLENITS

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DALLAS FONTAINE

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Why do you love God? As silly or sacrilegeous as it SCOTT FORSYTH may sound, this question is the fundamental question behind our belief. If you claim that you’re laying your life down—willing to take on persecution, imprisonment, and even death—then you better be in love with this guy. I’ve been in worship services where students are throwing their hands up, dancing, chanting, jumping, and yelling that they love God, and I can’t help but just stand there wondering, why? Do they really love God, or are they just riding an emotional high from the circumstances that have happened today? Sometimes I wonder the same about myself. Our generation has been caught up in the “emotional” gospel, where our emotions drive our relationship with Christ. I remember telling my youth pastor countless times, “I just don’t feel God’s presence,” or “I feel like He’s not there,” until I came to the realization that our relationship with Christ is not dependent on our emotions, it’s dependent on His faithfulness. If my faith was dependent on how I “felt,” then today I might believe God is good because I just got a second date with that girl. But tomorrow I would doubt his existence after hearing about the passing of a loved one. Our relationship with Him has to be bigger than our emotions, and yet I feel as if we ride this rollercoaster just waiting for the next

spiritual high. Still, I know of people who are genuinely in love with God and will praise Him with their last breath, and I am truly jealous of this. Again I ask, “Why?” A common answer I’ve heard is, “Well look at everything you have been blessed with. Look at how much He has given you.” And without trying to pump my own tires, I know that I am more then blessed. I attend the most expensive school in Canada; I have my own car; I’ve got more shoes then I can count on my hands and feet, some of the best friends a guy could ask for, a loving and supportive family, talents and abilities and opportunities that are beyond anything I could ever dream of. But is this why I love God? If I was stripped of everything, like Job was, then what? Would I stop loving Him? So I’m at a crossroads—understanding that I have everything I could ever want and yet this can’t be the reason I love God. We all know God wants a relationship with us, but he doesn’t just want lip service; He’s after our heart. As I have been wrestling with this I’ve discovered that our love cannot be reliant on us or anything materialistic that we have been given; that can all change in the blink of an eye, just as it did for Job. So it must be dependent on the only consistant thing in the universe that isn’t susceptible to change: Him. But which part, what characteristic? The answer has existed since the beginning of time, but I only realizd

it now: Amazing Grace. Too often we turn our relationship with Christ into a business transaction; we try to earn God’s grace by checking off the Christian checkboxes and hoping in return we will receive God’s love and favour. But the truth is, there is absolutely nothing we can do to earn or lose God’s grace. Contrary to what your pastor has probably told you, you don’t need to read the Bible and pray everyday to be a Christian. Obedience and faithfulness is a reaction gb _biX! G[X _biX Vb`Xf ßefg! A good friend of mine put it this way: you could sit on your couch for the rest of your life doing nothing but eating chips, and God would love you just as much as if you went out and converted 100,000 people in one day. *mind blown. There is absolutely NOTHING we can do that will make God love us any more or any less. No matter how many times we fall, stumble, or continually fail, His love never fails. And I’ve realized that this is why I love God. Not because of anything I have, but because of this free gift. We sing about this on Sunday mornings, but I feel as though we have never fully grasped this idea. If we did, our lives would be truly changed.

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EDITORIAL POLICY

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SENIOR EDITORS :JV[[ -VYZ`[O Editor-in-Chief

Justin Poulsen Managing Editor

*OYPZ 4VU[NVTLY` Visual Editor

SECTION EDITORS Larissa Kroeker News

*HTLYVU 9LLK Academy

,TTH :WHUQLY Arts & Culture

*HTLYVU :[\LYSL Sports

2HP[PL :PTVUZVU Humour

PRODUCTION STAFF Laura Jensen Photo Editor

)YVVRL /PNNPUIV[OHT Illustration Editor

1\Z[PU :TP[O Layout Editor

)L[OHU` 9V` Chief Copy Editor

COVER STATEMENT.

OPERATIONS

Valentine’s Day can get to even the best of us. -Photo by Laura Jensen -Modelling by Maria Wilson -Candy Heart Glueing by Chris Montgomery

+HSSHZ -VU[HPUL Finance Manager

(SL_ 7SLUP[Z Advertising Manager

*OYPZ[PUL 9THO Web Presence

CONTRIBUTORS *SH`[VU (UKYLZ 4LYLKP[O 6]LYT`LY Travis Heide *OLYP )YV^U (UKYL^ 7HYRLY ,SZPL )\K^PSS 9PJOHYK )LYNLU )YLUKHU 2^PH[RV^ZRP (UKYL^ :[L^HY[ ;PT (UKYPLZ (UKYL^ 7H[[LYZVU Nate Doyle *VSSLLU 3P[[SL ,SSLU .YHOHT

)RUW /DQJOH\ *ROI &RXUVH Elegant Events in a Beautiful Country Setting

VALINTINES DAY: SPECIAL OFFER

Enter to Win a FREE ROOM RENTAL for Your Wedding at Fort Langley Golf Course!!

How to Enter: Email: events@fortlangleygolf.com Text: 604.780.7412 Call: 604.888.5911 And tell our Event Coordinator that you would like to enter the FREE ROOM RENTAL draw! Include contact information, approximate guest total, and three preferred wedding dates in 2013!

ADVISOR (\KYL` 4HY[PU

marshill@gmail.com www.marshillonline.com @marshillonline

- Must have TWU ID - Minimum 100 Guests / Max 250 MUST ENTER BEFORE DRAW DATE: March 1st 782 McKinnon Crescent, Fort Langley, B.C. V1M 2R5

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Guinea pig and bee” -Clayton Andres

February 13, 2013

NEWS.

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LARISSA KROEKER larissa.kroeker@gmail.com

Dunn and Done New TWUSA Council prepares for next year. After a lengthy campaign, the CLAYTON new TWUSA council for ANDRES 2013/2014 was announced at Hootenanny this past Friday. Mackenzie Dunn, who ran unopposed, was elected President of the new council. Supporting her will be Fraser Parlane as Executive VicePresident with Gillian Dunn as VP of Student Relations, Walter Brynjolfson as VP of Finance, and Erin Thorpe as VP of Academic Relations. The newly elected council memUXef `Xg gbZXg[Xe Ybe g[X ßefg g\`X ba Thursday, February 7 in the TWUSA bYßVX j[XeX g[Xl jXeX \aYbe`XW of their new positions. Dunn commented how excited she and the new members felt being able to take on the responsibility of student counV\_ j[\_X 5ela]bàfba abgXW [bj “blessed” they all have been in being elected. J[\_X ab WXßa\gX c_Taf [TiX UXXa made for next year, all the new members shared their visions of what they want to accomplish in the Fall. President Dunn said, “My experience on TWUSA this year has given me plans for next year. I want to start collaborating with the new exec so we can ßaW T i\f\ba TaW YbVhf g[Tg jbe^f for the council and that that pours out to the students on the campus.” Brynjolfson, on the other hand, noted that despite his lack of experience, he would “be as supportive and diligent as possible, to work in tandem with the [other council members] to build creative solutions and bring God into TWUSA and the community as much as possible.” Ba g[X ßaTaV\T_ XaW 5ela]b_Yson also commented that in the past, TWUSA has had administrative difßVh_g\Xf! ¶@baXl jTf abg [TaW_XW Tf XYYXVg\iX_l TaW XYßV\Xag_l Tf \g f[bh_W have been . . . I’ll be learning a lot from Ryan [Penner] so we can have very stable and clear budget for next year.” In Student Relations, Gillian Dunn also noted the importance of learning

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from the current council. “I’ve been observing what Kevin [Mirchandani] is doing and been looking at where the need is on campus. I’ll start by talking to CAs where they think the need is and how TWUSA can come alongside them.” She emphasized that the new council wants to “kick off strong next year in getting TWUSA’s name out there,” adding, “September is the most important time for doing this.” For Academic Relations, Thorpe stated, “I do have ideas in mind how I want the clubs and reps to work together next year. I want to use this time to make my ideas into plans.” She noted how excited she is about the current council and how “seeing hf T__ gbZXg[Xe \a g[X ebb` fb_\W\ßXf what we were thinking in our heads.” Parlane, likewise, observed how much he and the rest of the council are thrilled for the coming year. “I have a lot of excitement about the role and I am very encouraged by the new executive council. We’re already on the same wavelength about a lot of things.” @TV^Xam\X 7haa eXàXVgXW ba g[X current members of TWUSA and how “blessed we’ve been by the council this year.” For next year, she doesn’t want gb ¶YbVhf ba j[Tg aXXWf gb UX ßkXW

but how we can grow our presence on campus. We want to take implementations from this year and shape and grow them.” Mackenzie ended by saying that “Partnership is a huge goal of mine. I’ll be using that to build relations with Student leaders, Student Life, staff, and faculty.” Gillian also noted that she wants to maintain TWUSA’s openness and accessibility. “I would love it for TWUSA to be a place where people who are struggling can come and be encouraged and prayed for. We don’t want to have counselling sessions, but we want to be able to support students as fellow Christians.” The new council is still looking to ß__ gjb `beX cbf\g\baf Ybe aXkg lXTe¹f council. Check out TWUSA’s website

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TWUSA 2012/2013 Right Mackenzie Dunn, President Bottom (From Left to Right) Fraser Parlane, Vice-President Gillian Dunn, VP of Student Relations Erin Thorpe, VP of Academic Relations Walter Brynjolfson, VP of Finance

LAURA JENSEN

French president Makes Triumphant visit to Mali

Egyptians order Youtube ban

On February 9th, a Cairo court ordered the Egyptian government to block the popular video sharing site YouTube for baX `bag[! =hWZX ;TffbhaT GTjßd WXfVe\UXW g[X `bi\X The Innocence of Muslims (featured on the site) as “offensive to Islam and the Prophet [Mohammed].” This is the same ß_` g[Tg fcTe^XW cebgXfgf _Tfg FXcgX`UXe j[\V[ ^\__XW (# people. However, the ruling can be appealed and may not be enforced.

club fire kills 233 in Brazil

4 ßeX Ueb^X bhg \a T V_hU \a FTagT @Te\T 5eTm\_ ^\__\aZ Tg _XTfg %&& cXbc_X! G[X VThfX bY g[X ßeX jTf T àTeX Yeb` T cXeYbe`\aZ UTaW¹f clebgXV[a\Vf! 4g g[X g\`X bY g[X ßeX g[X V_hU jTf ß__XW j\g[ gbhe\fgf TaW fghWXagf Yeb` aXTeUl ha\versities. Chile President Dilma Rousseff immediately left a summit meeting in Chile to console victim’s families, saying “this tragedy is for all of us.”

Meat company under scrutiny

US embassy bombed in Turkey

On February 1st, a suicide bomber associated with a radical Marxist group blew himself up at the US Embassy in Ankara, Turkey. The explosion killed a Turkish security guard and wounded three other people. Unlike the Benghazi bombing last September, the US government immediately labeled the attack as an act of terrorism. Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan says the bomber was a member of the Revolutionary People’s Liberation Front, which is fervently anti-US, anti-NATO, and anti-Turkish establishment.

French President Francois Hollande received a big welcome when he arrived in Mali on February 2nd. Thousands of people came out to cheer him on, only three weeks after France launched a military intervention to chase out Islamic XkgeX`\fgf! ;b__TaWX TW`\gf g[Tg ¶g[X ßZ[g \f abg biXe· TaW that Malians will have “the responsibility to assure the transition, and especially the security, of their country.”

Ravens secure Super Bowl xlvii

In a wild game that included a 34 minute stadium blackout, the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers 34-31. Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco was named MVP. The game was held in New Orleans and drew 108.4 million viewers, making it the third highest rated television program ever.

American federal health authorities are looking into reports that 13 people have died in connection to energy shot products. In the past four years, the Food and Drug Administration has received over 92 reports linking 5-Hour Energy to illnesses, hospitalizations, and deaths. An investigation has been launched and FDA doctors have advised to use caution when drinking caffeinated energy drinks.

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “I’d make a cat-owl…or an owl-cat” -Derek Scott

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February 13, 2013

NEWS.

[spaces] launch party TWU’s literary journal prepares to showcase its talent.

The seventh volume of Trinity WestBETHANY ern UniverROY sity’s literary journal, [spaces], will be released on March 2nd at the annual launch party, hosted at the Fort Langley Community Hall. The event will begin

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at 7:30 pm, with the $5 admission gaining you entrance to the event, a copy of the journal, and free coffee and baked goods. The comforting familiarity of coffee’s aroma and the welcoming warmth of a steaming beverage never fail to loosen lips and encourage conversation; the goal of [spaces] this year was to duplicate

the intimacy and communication of that kind of situation. Including photographs, paintings, prose, and poetry, [spaces] has compiled a variety of stories that deserve to be told. The night will feature several of the published art pieces on display, authors reading their works, and eveve live performances by local

bands Two or Three and The New Atlas. It will be an evening to remember—an evening to pass on some formidable stories. If you have ever felt reluctant to leave a comfy café chair, laughed or cried or lost sleep over someone’s story, or even simply wondered what the inside of the Fort Langley Com-

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munity Hall looks like, come to the [spaces] launch event on March 2nd. And if you would like to be involved in the student-lead production of [spaces] next year, contact Professor Lynn Szabo about the opportunities, including the editor-in-chief position, which includes a scholarship and English course credits.

LAURA JENSEN & JUSTIN POULSEN

Students look towards their future at the annual TWU Career Fair. Candies, lanyards, water bottles, pens, TRAVIS notepads, HEIDE mugs, and even free watches were a few of the goodies handed out to eager job hunters this year, as part of the 10th annual Trinity Western University Career Fair, hosted by the Student Success Center in the gym on January 31, 2013. Coordinator Mike Teeter is enthusiastic about the success and continued growth of the annual event. New this year, summer jobs were promoted as well as full-time jobs. Each year about 40-50 VbecbeTgX TaW aba cebßg X`c_blXef set up booths to recruit current and graduating students. “Student attendance each year is around 200,” Teeter says, “Our goal is to double that so as to attract more employers in ensuing years. This year we had numerous prize draws to tempt students to preregister. We also rely on posters, peerto-peer word of mouth, and TWUSA and faculty promotion.” The Media & Communications department is especially eager each year in this regard. Dr. Kevin Schut, Communications professor and Chair, addresses his sleepy morning class, “For those of you who weren’t even thinking of going to the Career Fair today,” he says, “I urge you to go home, get dressed in something professional, print some resumes, and go. I cannot

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stress how important this opportunity is. Even if you don’t get a job from this, it’s a great chance to get practice Tg \agXei\Xj\aZ TaW gb ßaW bhg j[Tg kinds of jobs are available in the market. I really push students hard to attend each year.” Among the organizations in attendance was The Salvation Army, a local aba cebßg g[Tg bYYXef cT\W TaW ib_unteer positions. Human Resources representatives Kristen and Fiona en]bl g[X aba cebßg jbe^ fXgg\aZ- ¶<g¹f more rewarding to contribute toward people who have had hard times and to be able to help people in a social services setting,” says Kristen, “The focus is on strong community, various programs, rehabilitation of people to bring them back into the workfowrce via integration and transition programs, and to give back instead of foVhf\aZ ba cebßg!· TWU Psychology Honours Student, Kevin Adhika helps man the Big Brothers and Sisters of Langley booth. He is currently doing a practicum with the organization. Mentoring a boy or girl is also an option, which requires passing a background check and making a one-year volunteer commitment—Adhika recommends it as highly rewarding and worthwhile. Unique employment options for those who wish to teach English abroad include Adventure Teaching and Teach Away. Some jobs are open

to those with any type of BA and some TeX fcXV\ßV gb g[bfX j\g[ 8WhVTg\ba and Linguistics backgrounds or TEFB? 6Xeg\ßVTgXf! G[X beZTa\mTg\baf coordinate placement in various exotic locations in Asia. Perks typically include paid travel and living accommodations along with generous salaries. Additionally there are a handful of summer camps looking to hire summer counsellors, including Camp Fir-

wood in Bellingham, Washington, run by TWU business alumni Andy Vander Meulen. As well, Property Stars prom\fXf àXk\U_X fh``Xe fV[XWh_\aZ TaW potential earnings from $100-$500 dollars per day for landscaping work. They also stress bonuses, scholarships, motivational training, charity fundraising, and community involvement opportunities. Sunlife Financial Services and

Smart Savvy + Associates offer more traditional corporate and business positions. Teeter emphasizes the ultimate goal of the Career Fair: serving jobseeking students as best as possible. To provide feedback on the event or receive more information, email experience@ twu.ca. Also check out twu.ca/life/success/ for free help with career prep.

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “A turtle and a hippo, to make a hurple” -Jocelyn Shauf

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

February 13, 2013

NEWS.

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bc`Xag! G[X ßefg dhXfg\ba bY g[X XiXa\aZ eTaZ- ¶@\Z[g \agXeaTg\baT_ Vb``ha\g\Xf Wb `beX [Te` g[Ta ZbbW2· ;TaW_\aZ g[X ßefg TYße`Tg\iX 5_haWX__ fXeiXW T Zhg f[bg W\fc_Tling two water bottles from springs in >XalT! BaX jTf V_XTe. baX jTf T gTea\f[XW [TeW_l geTaf_hVXag eXVXcgTV_X which contained water that George, Tf T V[\_W jTgV[XW cXbc_X We\a^! ;X VbaVXWXW- ¶< fXX Tf `hV[ YT\_XW ceb]XVgf Tf fhVVXffYh_ baXf. Uhg \Y g[XfX conferences keep children drinking this kind of water, is it not more efYXVghT_ gb [X_c2· J[l f[bh_W \agXeaTg\baT_ UbhaWTe\Xf ¶Thgb`Tg\VT__l· make assistance irrelevant? Looking past the water, George gbb^ g[X ßefg aXZTg\iX Ul cb\ag\aZ bhg g[Tg `Tal \agXeaTg\baT_ T\W Zebhcf over the past 80 years, have been comcbfXW bY 5e\g\f[ TaW Abeg[ 4`Xe\VTa investors that arrive and then leave, g[\a^\aZ g[Xl [TiX fb_iXW T cebU_X`! In reality, that have only increased the locals’ dependency on their tempoeTel [X_c! @beX gbhZ[ chaV[Xf VT`X with stats: George stated that the is-

WHAT THE HILL

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fhX \fa¹g TUbhg `baXl! G[X `baXl is there; one problem is that 60% of `baXl \a >XalT gbgT_\aZ '!( `\__\ba TaahT__l ZbXf bhg gb YbeX\Za UTa^f! @TVGTi\f[ VT`X hc j\g[ g[X fXVbaW TYße`Tg\iX W\ih_Z\aZ g[Tg g[XeX TeX `h_g\c_X W\`Xaf\baf bY cbiXegl. g[XfX A:B¹f fXX ¶abg ]hfg _TV^ bY eXfbheVXf Uhg _TV^ bY `XTaf!· <g \f abg XabhZ[ gb Wb [b_\fg\V WXiX_bc`Xag bhg bY [h`Ta\gTe\Ta `bg\iTg\ba. j[Tg needs to change—and has changed

the grassroots, intimate level of synXeZ\f` TaW TjTeXaXff bY g[X \ffhXf. “It’s a relationship: being part of the Vb``ha\gl·! 4f g[X XiXa\aZ V_bfXW T eXàXVg\ba g[Tg :XbeZX bcXaXW j\g[ Vbag\ahXW gb eXfbaTgX g[ebhZ[bhg g[X XiXa\aZ- “When I think of TWU, I see an instighg\ba WXW\VTgXW gb \`cebiX`Xag­bY cXbc_X Z_bUT__l!·

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

A Sri Lankan inmate found himself in even more trouble last week after attempting to smuggle a cellphone into prison. Truth rang when the guards heard the cellphone buzzing away. After what must have been a rather awkward search the phone was discovered in his rear end. The ‘anal’ guards did not lightly excuse this butt dial. No word on what happened to the phone, but its safe to assume its quite rectumed.

The aptly named Samuel Mullet Sr. was finally convicted in a series of beard cutting attacks on fellow members of his Amish community. The judge prosecuted these hairraising attacks as a hate crime and stated that the “victims we’re terrorized and traumitized.” Mullet Sr. will goatee to prison for a total of 15 years for this beard and wacky crime.

Union Update Ba JXWaXfWTl 7XVX`UXe (g[ g[X University received a Notice of Hear\aZ Yeb` g[X ?E5 TWi\f\aZ g[Tg fhUmissions on the appropriateness of g[X cebcbfXW UTeZT\a\aZ ha\g j\__ UX [X_W 9XUehTel $% gb $' %#$&! <a _TgX BVgbUXe GJH jTf abg\ßXW g[Tg g[X YTVh_gl [TW cTffXW g[X ßefg fgTZX \a TV[\Xi\aZ ha\ba eXceXfXagTg\ba! Ba AbiX`UXe ,g[ g[X 4_h`a\ Association was informed that the University received a report from the BYßVXe bY g[X ?TUbhe EX_Tg\baf 5bTeW ?E5 fgTg\aZ g[Tg g[X 6[e\fg\Ta ?TUbhe 4ffbV\Tg\ba bY 6TaTWT 6?46 W\W abg [TiX g[X '( fhccbeg aXXWXW \a beWXe Ybe g[X ?E5 gb eXdh\eX Ta TVghT_ ha\ba\mTg\ba ibgX Ul g[X YTVh_gl bY Ge\a\gl JXfgXea! 6?46 eXfcbaWXW gb g[X ?E5 j\g[ T W\YYXeXag cebcbfXW UTeZT\a\aZ ha\g g[bfX YTVh_gl `X`bers who are proposed as part of the ha\ba ! 4 [XTe\aZ ba g[\f \ffhX jTf beWXeXW! G[X ?E5 WXV\WXW g[Tg abgj\g[standing the pending determination bY g[X Tccebce\TgX UTeZT\a\aZ ha\g a vote of the CLAC-proposed memUXef[\c f[bh_W gT^X c_TVX AbiX`UXe %* TaW %+! 9b__bj\aZ g[Tg ibgX g[X ballots were sealed and will not be VbhagXW hag\_ T WXgXe`\aTg\ba \f `TWX regarding the composition and size of g[X UTeZT\a\aZ ha\g! G[X ibgX j\__ ba_l UX VbhagXW \Y g[X ?E5 WXV\WXf g[Tg g[Tg g[X UTeZT\a\aZ ha\g cebcbfXW Ul 6?46 \f Tccebce\TgX!

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One mother in New York displayed her love for her son in a rather unusually manner when visiting him in prison. In an attempt to sneek him some Oxycodone pills she decide the least conspicous way would be transmission through french kissing. This suddenly incesteously conjugal visit resulted in a number of formal charges to Kimberely Margeson. The tongue lashing from the prison guards wasn’t the worst one he received that day.

8AM classe$ are painful. 6XVSHFW LGHQWLðHG

With an average student return of $1000, at least taxes are painless.*

The Laptop Bandit case continues. 4 fhfcXVg \a the recent series of thefts on JUSTIN VT`chf jTf TcPOULSEN prehended and _TgXe eX_XTfXW ba @baWTl 9XUehTel ' while on the Trinity Western Universigl VT`chf! G[X fhfcXVg Glfba ?T`Te 5Xeebj `TgV[Xf g[X WXfVe\cg\ba bY several separate witnesses at different \aV\WXagf TebhaW g[X VT`chf \aV_hW\aZ g[X @Te_\X Fa\WXe 6b__XZ\h` g[X JX__aXff 6XagXe TaW EX\`Xe FghWXag

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$29.95 student pricing

& free SPC Card*

hrblock.ca | 800-HRBLOCK (472-5625) © 2013 H&R Block Canada, Inc. *Average is based on all student returns prepared at H&R Block in Canada for 2010 tax returns. The average refund amount calculated for students was over $1,100, cannot be guaranteed and varies based ŽŶ ĞĂĐŚ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂů ƚĂdž ƐŝƚƵĂƟŽŶ͘ ΨϮϵ͘ϵϱ ǀĂůŝĚ ĨŽƌ ƐƚƵĚĞŶƚ ƚĂdž ƉƌĞƉĂƌĂƟŽŶ ŽŶůLJ͘ dŽ ƋƵĂůŝĨLJ͕ ƐƚƵĚĞŶƚ ŵƵƐƚ ƉƌĞƐĞŶƚ ĞŝƚŚĞƌ ;ŝͿ Ă dϮϮϬϮĂ ĚŽĐƵŵĞŶƟŶŐ ϰ Žƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŵŽŶƚŚƐ ŽĨ ĨƵůůͲƟŵĞ ĂƩĞŶĚĂŶĐĞ Ăƚ Ă ĐŽůůĞŐĞ Žƌ ƵŶŝǀĞƌƐŝƚLJ ĚƵƌŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ĂƉƉůŝĐĂďůĞ ƚĂdž LJĞĂƌ Žƌ ;ŝŝͿ Ă ǀĂůŝĚ ŚŝŐŚ ƐĐŚŽŽů / ĐĂƌĚ͘ ^ƚƵĚĞŶƚƐ ƉĂLJ Ψϳϵ͘ϵϵ ĨŽƌ ŽŵƉůĞdžͬWƌĞŵŝĞƌ ƌĞƚƵƌŶ͘ džƉŝƌĞƐ ϭϮͬϯϭͬϮϬϭϯ͘ sĂůŝĚ ŽŶůLJ Ăƚ ƉĂƌƟĐŝƉĂƟŶŐ ůŽĐĂƟŽŶƐ͘ ĚĚŝƟŽŶĂů ĨĞĞƐ ĂƉƉůLJ͘ ^W ĐĂƌĚƐ ĂǀĂŝůĂďůĞ Ăƚ ƉĂƌƟĐŝƉĂƟŶŐ ůŽĐĂƟŽŶƐ ŝŶ ĂŶĂĚĂ ŽŶůLJ͘ KīĞƌƐ ŵĂLJ ǀĂƌLJ͕ ƌĞƐƚƌŝĐƟŽŶƐ ŵĂLJ ĂƉƉůLJ͘ &Žƌ ĨƵůů ƚĞƌŵƐ ƐĞĞ ǁǁǁ͘ƐƉĐĐĂƌĚ͘ĐĂ͘

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Dog and bird, so then you’d have flying dogs” -Ben Buckingham

6

February 13, 2013

ACADEMY.

CAMERON REED cameron.reed@mytwu.ca

Dick in a box Rethinking gender stereotypes. LAURA JENSEN

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Cage the Elephant’s frontman, Matt Shultz JUSTIN has said that POULSEN when he lacks inspiration he runs outside, shoves his face into the soil, and breaths deep. Not because he has a dirt fetish, but because he’s desperate to break the monotony of normality—to discover what’s been in front of him all along by forcing himself into a different and uncomfortable mindset. Allow this column to give you the good ol’ garden face-wash, with six fresh freaky philosophies. Join me this semester, in soiling yourself.

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If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Platypus and pussy cat. A pussypus or platypussy.” -Steven Porter

February 13, 2013

ACADEMY.

Is this love that I’m feeling? The science behind the magic. According to the research of York Professor ELSIE Arthur Arun, BUDWILL relationships undergo four major stages, more or less. These stages are to a surprising extent, guided by hormones that \aàhXaVX g[X WXV\f\baf jX `T^X TaW how we interact. STAGE 1: THE MEAT MARKET When choosing a mate, hormones are quite active. This is especially true for women in the ovulation stage of their menstrual cycle. Their testosterone levels increase, producing an increase in sex-drive. During the ovulation time, women are sub-consciously attracted to taller, more masculine men who have deeper voices. This is the best window of opportunity for men to take the risk and ask that special girl out. It’s the peak of her fertility time and she is more likely to say yes, though it’s probably not the best pick up line. The hormone oestrogen is connected with how symmetrical a woman’s face is. Thus, with an increase of oestrogen, women are typically more attractive to men. Testosterone affects men and their bodies differently. After 4.9 minutes of a man being in the same room with a woman—even one whom he does not ßaW cTeg\Vh_Te_l TggeTVg\iXµ[X j\__ have a 8% increase in his testosterone levels. This increase in testosterone causes men to square their shoulders, hold an upright posture, and have an improved use of the hands. STAGE 2: PUPPY LOVE G[\f fgTZX \f \aib_hagTel W\YßVh_g to control, and generally impermaaXag! ¶?hfg Tg ßefg f\Z[g · \f T `beX appropriate statement for a person experiencing this stage. The world turns into a blur and all one can think about is the beloved. The beloved is \WXT_\mXW TaW àTj_Xff. XiXelg[\aZ \f wonderful, exciting, fun, and beautiful. Couples enjoy a temporary feeling of belonging and completeness if the relationship is going well. The focus

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of the relationship is on similarities and what the couple has in common, rather than differences. Couples often experience an increase in energy during these special times. However, if the relationship is facing adversity or despair, the couple will tend to be more moody. The hormone progesterone dominates this stage, often increased by 10% after a couple watches a romantic movie. Also, adrenaline and cortisol are released in this stage. At the presence or mere thought of the beloved, these hormones act up, the heart begins to pound and sweat glands open. As testosterone is released it also stimulates another hormone, dopamine, to be released. This is the hapcl [be`baX j[\V[ \aàhXaVXf `TgX selection and helps to create a bond with the “chosen one,” separating him or her from all others. Unfortunately, dopamine is not a strong enough hormone to bond a couple together to last them through a successful marriage. To get married while in this stage is dangerous and unreliable, as both parties have tainted views of reality. Norepinephrine is another hormone positively linked with sexual motivation and arousals. This hormone innervates a release of oestrogen and prompts procreative behaviour. While “true love” is not yet present in the relationship, this stage is inevitable for a couple to reach a place where love is real and deep. STAGE 3: POWER STRUGGLE The power struggle stage can be characterized as the recognition of reality. The differences of the beloved come to the surface and it seems as g[bhZ[ g[X Vbhc_X ßaWf abg[\aZ \a common anymore. They reach this stage and don’t know what hit their perfect world of “us.” What was before a “cute” habit of the beloved now becomes annoying and unbearable. If the differences discovered in this stage are not accepted, distance can Vb`X UXgjXXa g[X Vbhc_X TaW Vbaà\Vg will emerge.

The body during this stage is adapting to the dopamine and serotonin levels being released and the infatuation wears off. The excitement of being in the same room as the beloved soon becomes normal and the other person ceases to satisfy one’s need for completeness. STAGE 4: COMMITMENT During this stage, the power struggle has shifted into a place of gehfg TaW VbaßWXaVX! G[\f \f g[X g\`X when a couple decides whether or not they will continue their lives together. This is also the stage where true love can be found. The focus of the relationship shifts from being about how amazing the beloved can make one feel to an experience of deep desire for him or her as a person. In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis describes this kind of love as Eros. Lewis says that Eros is what makes a man want a particular woman as opposed to the “need” of the infatuation stage. Sexual pleasure is but a by-product of Eros and can even get in the way of proceeding to this deeper stage of love when a couple is in the infatuation stage. The hormones involved in this stage of bonding are released during or after sexual intercourse. The hormone oxytocin, also called the “cuddle hormone,” is responsible for creating a biological attachment between couples and is released during orgasm. Vasopressin (ADH) is also involved in the social bonding process. This hormone is also released after sexual intercourse, helping to explain the certain mysterious connection felt by partners after sex. The release of oxytocin and ADH is maintained and active throughout a couple’s lives, creating a foundation for attachment. Relationships have their complications but with every stage God created the body to prepare each couple to beVb`X baX àXf[ TaW fgTl g[Tg jTl!

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “A bunny-eagle (i.e. beagle).” -Shelby McConnell

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February 13, 2013

ACADEMY.

Love literally Instant messaging is not instant love. In Greek mythology, there a man by the CLAYTON was name of TantaANDRES lus, who for one reason or another, angered the gods so much that he was made to suffer a uniquely cruel punishment in the Underworld. He was placed in a pool of clean, clear water under a tree full or ripe, delicious fruit. Whenever he bent down to drink the water, it would instantly dry up, and whenever he reached up to grab one of the fruits, it would wither before he could touch it. His eternal punishment was to be surrounded by the things he desperately wanted, but could never reach. Being separated from a loved one is never easy. But it becomes much more painful if you subject yourself to the same pain as Tantalus. Nowadays, you can call, text, message, Skype, and Facebook the people you love anytime you want. But what does this do to us? In the past, lovers would send letters. I know people still do this, but I believe that for them, sending letters was a very different process. A woman would pour her heart and soul into the words she wrote to her lover. She would send the letter off with a kiss, praying it would reach its destination and not be lost forever. When her man received her letter, it was a like a gift from heaven. He would treasure every page and mull over every word as if it jXeX T ßaX c\XVX bY Zb_W! G[ebhZ[ g[X lines on the page, he could almost see the lines of her face and the softness of the paper reminded him of the softness of her skin. It hardly bears comparison to note [bj W\YßVh_g \g \f gb Wb g[\f j\g[ gXkgf particularly ones riddled with abbreviations and emoticons. Although you could argue being able to hear the voice and see the face of a distant lover

is much better than having to imagine them, I believe we get so used to instant connectivity that we lose the important part of being in a relationship. In writing a letter, you have to work to translate your love for another person into words without having them close by. Instant messaging and phone calls don’t require the same commitment or effort. You put less effort into a conversation than writing as you only bear half the burden. As a result, you become lazy and put even less effort into connecting. The easier it becomes to communicate, the less compelled you are to communicate well. And thus we willingly put ourselves in Tantalus’ place. We surround ourselves with the images and sounds of the ones we love, but we still cannot reach out to touch them. We are constantly reminded of just how much we miss the other person, but we have lost the ability to touch them through indirect means. Witnessing the face of someone you love on Skype is all the more painful because you didn’t have to work for it. They are there, torturing you with the reminder of their absence. The power of letters, and many other indirect means of communication, is that you have to work on them. You put in effort to create something physical and tangible that you then send away, never one hundred percent sure you will see your creation again. Love is a lot like this. You have to work on your relationship. You create something that contains a part of yourself and you give it away, never quite sure if the other person will receive your gift or if they have something to give you in return. When you do get something back, when you receive a letter in response, it is all the more precious. You treasure it because of what has been put into it.

the similarity between two peoples’ interests in media, the greater their conversation can be; but without an intentional transition to the self, the conversation is destined to only ever be about media. On the other hand, small-talk of the past generally consisted of “Nice jXTg[Xe · TaW ¶7TaZ geTYßV!· Fb \g would seem like we’ve at least made some progress. Art does have the power to facilitate a relationship between us and the sublime—the source of divine beauty—thus provoking an emotional response that transcends the limits of our ability to express ourselves. What we feel is bigger than what we can say. Author Ursula Le Guine describes it as the feeling that one “must enlarge his spirit in order to receive it.” When we experience art together, we share

in that bigger moment. Dare I call it a meeting of the souls? Some of my most intimate moments have occurred in utter silence, with only a set of ear-buds connecting my friend and I to each other. However, our interaction with art only achieves this transcendent unifying revelation when it becomes personal—when it is incorporated into our own life story and given meaning. So the next time you have a conversation with someone, try to tell them something that isn’t already on lbhe ba_\aX cebß_X! G[X aXkg g\`X g[Xl mention a song they’ve been listening to lately, ask them, “Why? What does it mean to you?” And if you’re still not jelling, whip out those ear-buds and play something indescribable.

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From media to you Communicating through the proxy of taste in entertainment.

Last time I went on a date, like any sweatyJUSTIN palmed gent, POULSEN I prepared a mental toolbox of conversation starters. I had learned the hard way that no amount of Daft Punk can drown out an awkward silence. So the date kicks off and as we’re driving down the [\Z[jTl < abg\VX g[Tg [bee\ßV ¶_h__· setting in. I’m about to toss out my classic, “So have you seen any good movies recently?” when she turns and asks me, “So are you and your family close?” I was caught off guard and ended up missing my exit, extending the awkward silence until I initiated a Uturn back to where we should have gone: “What kind of music do you like?” I made a mental note that if she

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said, “Bieber,” I’d cut lunch short. But I’m not shallow; I know we wouldn’t get along because we would be too different. But the truth is, even after dialoging for hours about each other’s favourite media, you still don’t know them; you only know about them. Contemporary culture seems to pursue social intimacy by discussing third party topics. Rather than talking about our own original thoughts and feelings, we’ve become accustomed to discussing the lyrics of strangers. Instead of telling you how I aspire to be a protector for my friends future family I just say, “I like Batman,” and rely on the movie to tell you what I mean. Perhaps this is a result of our society’s growing obsession with perfecg\ba! JX¹eX àTjXW UX\aZf. g[XeXYbeX the less we talk about ourselves, the

_Xff àTjXW jX TccXTe! <a YTVg bhe conversations are becoming increasing impersonal on two levels. First, we’re communicating with the same amount of words but revealing less TUbhg bhefX_iXf Tf XkX`c_\ßXW XTe_\er). And second, we’re using the same standard conversational templates on multiple people. It didn’t matter which girl I took on that date, I would have gone through the exact same script with her. Carleton Professor David Matheson uses the term “limited transferability” as a means of judging our relational closeness. The better we actually know someone, the more difßVh_g \g \f Ybe hf gb Vb``ha\VTgX g[Tg knowledge to someone else. Surface knowledge, such as favourite movies, is much easier to transfer. Don’t get me wrong, the greater

BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Hummingbird-whale (or hale).” -Lesa Rodeau

February 13, 2013

ACADEMY.

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Science isn’t Scientism Dr. Ian Hutchinson dispels misunderstanings between faith and science. Science and Christianity are compatible, but RICHARD scientism and BERGEN Christianity are incompatible, because they are essentially two competing religious views. On Thursday, January 24, Dr. Ian Hutchinson, a world-renowned physicist from MIT came and gave a lecture on a crucial distinction we must make in the 21st century: the difference between science and scientism. His lecture centered on this term (scientism): the belief that science is all the real knowledge there is. According to Hutchinson, the belief in scientism is reason-denying and lifesucking, and is the heart of misunderstanding between science and faith. The belief in scientism is often more implicit than explicit. Hutchinson gave some of the history of this misunderstanding, and accordingly, he offered a short history of the word science and the word nature, both nebulous and vague terms. As the history of science unfolded, science’s key characteristics came to be most commonly or satisfactorily inherent in its `Xg[bWf- V[\Xàl \a g[X $ eXcebWhVibility, and the 2) clarity of its methods. As these methods are employed in reproducible experiments, the measurements which are used necessitate the reduction of descriptions of nature to numbers. Therefore, continued Hutchinson, many, many disciplines that involve numbers lack the clarity and reproWhV\U\_\gl g[Tg \f eXdh\eXW Ul fV\Xag\ßV methods (e.g., history, economics, politics). Moreover, it is a terrible mistake to think that the only thing there is to say about Beethoven’s 9th is what science can offer. Music has an inherent ambiguity which cannot be conveyed in its entirety by a scieng\ßV TaT_lf\f! And yet, the contemporary subscriber to scientism must say just this about the human experience of music. Indeed, scientism is forced to rule out personality and purpose altogether:

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a philosophical move it must take— which, by the way, is rather unscieng\ßV \a aTgheX! Hutchinson also outlined the failures of scientistic thinkers, like Auguste Comte and Herbert Spencer, to derive humane conclusions about ethics—and lamented that similar attempts continue today in sociobiology and so-called evolutionary psychology. As he concluded, Hutchinson emc[Tg\VT__l TYße`XW g[Tg fV\Xag\ßV TaW aba fV\Xag\ßV WXfVe\cg\baf VTa UX f\multaneously valid in that they both contribute to our knowledge of our world. And, for the many disciplines j[\V[ TeX abg fV\Xag\ßV \a aTgheX \g is philosophically necessary that they hfX aba fV\Xag\ßV WXfVe\cg\baf Ybe those events and objects which are, or should be, qualitative rather than quantitative, and trenchantly irreducible. In the latter parts of his lecture, Hutchinson turned away from science: he claimed that the strongest “evidence” for Christianity is not fV\Xag\ßV Tg T__! 4al fbeg bY TeZhments that might be marshaled for the defense of Christ’s divinity will be mostly historical, circumstantial, documentary, logical, or testimonial—Hutchinson said rather candidly g[Tg [X YX_g g[X ¶fV\Xag\ßV Xi\WXaVX· for Christianity was not nearly as strong (or, at least not nearly as relevant) as the historical evidence. Hutchinson’s concluding remarks were about the relational nature of Christianity, and the necessity of an openness to relationship in a dynamic which Christians call faith. Faith is abg Tag\ fV\Xag\ßV Uhg T fV\Xag\ßV! Science may continue to speak with expertise and authority in its own domain, and may even provide certain corrective insights for religion, but should not become its own religion à la scientism.

es o r e h g U n s u n ryd a y lif e e for e v A fan of things beautiful and Do CAMERON handmade? you like PinREED trest, Etsy or the City of Portland? To a large part, you have William Morris (1834-1896) to thank. Into a Victorian English society of coal-stacks, bustling factories and crowded workhouses, William @bee\f ha_XTf[XW bY àheel bY Teg\ftic endeavor. The labels poet, artist, designer, manufacturer, and socialist don’t quite capture the diversity of his life. Morris founded a movement of art and design that sought to revive lost means of production, reintroducing beauty and humaneness into everyday life and inspiring generations of artists to come. As a child of a wealthy family that lived on the edge of the ancient Epping Forest, Morris was mesmerized by the beauty and intricacy of the world. A voracious reader, he was especially fascinated by England’s medieval past, by Arthurian romances, Chaucer’s poetry, and later, the heroic Viking sagas of Iceland. He entered Oxford hoping to enter the ministry but quickly became much more interested in art than theology. He gave art the old college try in the fullest sense of the phrase. He devoured all the English Gothic _\gXeTgheX [X Vbh_W ßaW \a g[X _\UeTel wrote romantic poetry, formed a “brotherhood” of artist friends, and cherished a vision of founding a monastery for artists with his considerable fortune. Instead, however, he apprenticed himself to a prestigious London architect, only to quit a few years later to pursue painting at the behest of friends such as poet, Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

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FIGURE OF THE FORTNIGHT

His artistic focus shifted to making beautiful the objects of everyday common life. He designed and built his own country home, the “Red House,” so-called because of its revolutionary use of red brick. More\f g[Xa Ybe`XW baX bY g[X ßefg XiXe ¶WXf\Za· ße`f j\g[ fXiXeT_ Ye\XaWf! They opened up shop in London, specializing in design and furniture for houses and churches. With meticulous attention to detail, quality and a rare concern for beauty, the ße` dh\V^_l UXVT`X T fhVVXff! Even while business was booming, however, Morris kept up his poetry on the side, producing some 50,000 lines of narrative poetry and translating several Icelandic sagas into English. Morris relentlessly pursued a more graceful present by reviving the tatters of a more graceful and humane past. He took up illuminating (hand-illustrating) massive books, scribing, and book-making, invented fonts, and expanded the ße`¹f XagXece\fXf gb \aV_hWX geTW\tional dying techniques, and the lost art of carpet weaving. As always, he focused on producing beautiful and useful things of the highest quality. Morris considered art to be not an isolated elite activity but a “function of life,” a commitment led him \agb Vbaà\Vg j\g[ g[X UheZXba\aZ \adustrial establishment. He saw that a society oriented around industrialism quickly becomes dehumanizing.

G[X ba_l eXfcbafX [X ßZheXW jTf to reorganize society to be more human. As the Socialist party seemed to be the only party remotely moving in that direction, he joined with gusto, authoring propaganda and giving speeches on the streets. He eventually grew dissatisßXW j\g[ fbV\T_\f` TaW eXgeXTgXW back into the world of literature. He opened a small printing press, cTffXW _XTWXef[\c bY g[X ße` biXe gb his partners, and organized various guilds for designers and decorative workmen. He declined the poet laureateship of England before passing away in 1896. Though his single deepest instinct was the “love of the earth and worship of it,” we can learn from the way Morris took beauty seriously and pursued it relentlessly. For him, art was simply a way of reintegrating life and making the world a better place to live in. In our own postmodern age full of doubts about what is true and if we can even know truth, beauty has become one of the last universal means of communication. People still pay attention to beauty. Especially since we acknowledge beauty and goodness in the created world as proceeding from a loving Creator, how much more should we take beauty seriously as a manifestation of that Love to the world? What was the last thing you did for the sake of beauty?

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “A narwhal-horse…so basically a unicorn” -Cayla Coleman

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Februaryh 13, 2013

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Giraffe and buffalo…a Guffalo!” -Christoph Sanz

February 13, 2013

In case you’re wonderBRENDAN KWIATKOWSKI ing, there is indeed life after sex. I used to not care if there was. When I was a boy, my biggest fear, heightened by the theologically questionable Left Behind series, was that the rapture was going to happen before I “got married”. Having just gotten married last winter, I guess I fhei\iXW. < `TWX \g! < Yh_ß__XW `l _\YX¹f purpose and the rapture can happen now…not! CTeg bY \g \f gehX. < W\W Yh_ß__ baX bY g[X ZeXTgXfg TaW WXßa\gX_l `bfg UXThtiful purposes of my life by marrying my wife, but life does go on. Despite what society would have you believe, whether it is on TLC, Pinterest, or the ever-pressing Christian message, delivered particularly to Christian women, that it is much more desirable and acceptable to be married once you’ve crossed over the threshold of the ridiculously young age of, say, 25, a marriage does not automatically usher in an era of cuddly blankets TaW c_TlYh_ YbbW ßZ[gf j[\_X Vbb^\aZ dinner together in your newly HomeBhgßggXef eXZ\fgXeXW ^\gV[Xa! I don’t think I’m alone when I used “being married” as a benchmark for orienting my life goals. I used to think, “When I’m married…I’ll know how to cook really well,” or, “When I’m married…my relationship with God will be going so strong,” or, “By the time I’m married…my body will be chiseled like some Greek god.” It sounded good, but it meant that while I was still single I had to get off my unmarried butt and actually work on developing cooking skills, growing in my relationship with God, and honing my physical body. In the same way, a marriage (or any relationship) isn’t going to accomplish anything for you if you’re not already working on making changes. Yes, the love of another is a profound life changer, but relationships do not automatically make your prob-

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lems go away or heal all of your hurts. Gender generalization alert—men, you still need to have self-control and I don’t mean just with your bodies. Even if you successfully remain behind strict boundaries of physical intimacy, you may still be perverting your emotional intimacy by allowing your time together to grow stagnant. It’s scary how much time can be spent physically together, but not productively getting anywhere in terms of growing or deepening your relationship. So please don’t let the hours and evenings with your lovely wife sneakily ebb past you by spending it with the television or videogames. Self-control becomes even more important in marriage because you are somebody else’s now; your desires and hers may not

”

It’s scary how much time can be spent physically together, but not productively getting anywhere in terms of growing or deepening your relationship.

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match up at times. And for women— having a husband is not going to vanquish all of your insecurities, albeit I imagine that he would/should have a huge role in that process. A wedding does nothing to improve your life other than maybe living together with someone, which is nice if you’re lonely; but I think there are a lot of lonely people who are married as well. A marriage, in the fullest sense of what God meant it to be, over the course of many years, is what brings change—causing happiness through further self-actualizag\ba abg fX_Y Yh_ß__`Xag! Let me approach this through an analogy—inspired by my background in biology and conversations with my wife, who is a trauma therapist. The human body is amazingly adept at responding to traumatic events. If you experience a somatic trauma, like

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a car accident, your body produces hundreds of biochemical reactions to protect you from the actual pain— increased endorphin levels or even muscles taking on additional roles to compensate for bones out of place. Similarly, if you experience a psychological trauma, your brain is great at storing that away so that you can be “protected” from what you witnessed or were victim of. So your body and your mind both have mechanisms, often interconnected, that attempt to return you to your most normal and functional state. In the short-term this is great, but the root of the issue hasn’t healed and will eventually cause problems in the long-term. Similarly, relationships can remain in this “passable” rut when we “settle” or “get used to it,” which I think are the most terrifying ways a relationship can be characterized. 4 `Tee\TZX [Tf gb ßZ[g \gf aTgheT_ gravity towards stagnancy—pushing against our internal misconceptions and the grossly inaccurate stereotypes presented around us. Like a budding àbjXe UeXTV[\aZ \gf jTl g[ebhZ[ g[X frozen earth after a long hibernation, it takes effort—it takes a lifetime. When my grade 10 students found out I was getting married, one boy told me, “Oh man! I’d never do that! Marriage is for life!” But here’s the distinction: yes, it is for a lifetime, but it is also meant to be for a lifetime—meaning God didn’t just create marriage with a permanent plateau somewhere along the way that you hit and think, “Hmm…I’ve arrived.” That said, it does not take a lifetime to build a marriage of lack-luster communication and stagnant habits; invest in habits that nurture personal growth abj fb g[Tg lbh TeX hfXW gb ßZ[g\aZ against gravity when in marriage. Admittedly, I would rather that the rapture doesn’t happen yet, not because I’m scared, but because I found something in life to look forward to that’s better than just sex.

LAURA JENSEN

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “A puppy and a butterfly – a flutter-pup” -Melissa Koch

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February 13, 2013

ARTS & CULTURE. Every year amidst the gloom and doom of February comes an oh-sojoyous occasion that lifts the spirits of culture junkies everywhere. We’re not talking about National Grapefruit Month, but rather the Academy Awards—a celebrity affair so extravagant and over the top that you look cheap if your red carpet gown isn’t custom-made and accessorized with a hundred thousand dollars-worth of diamonds. Prepare yourself for another threehour event that is as emotionally exhausting as some of the performances nominated this year. You’ll laugh awkwardly at the host’s monologue, yawn during the 10-minute long speeches, and of course cry when some adorable underdog humbly accepts the award for Best Foreign Film. Here are a couple of predictions we recently chitchatted about online just to make that night of glitz and glam and little less overwhelming for you! KAITIE SIMONSON: I guess I will start . . . ANDREW STEWART: NO I WANT TO START! Well, here we are again. Can you believe it’s been a year since we last did this? KS: @l [bj g[X g\`X à\Xf j[Xa you should be graduating but instead fg\V^ TebhaW Ybe Ta haaXVXffTel ßYg[ year, right? AS: I wouldn’t know anything about that. Now stop wasting time. The readers are here for Oscar predictions and that’s what they’re going to get! ONWARD! KS: You’re not going to make this easy for me are you? Let’s begin with best original screenplay. AS: I’d love to see it go to Tarantino. Django Unchained was a blast. It’s got some strong competition though, with Zero Dark Thirty and Moonrise Kingdom. I don’t think Flight or Amour really have a chance here, but I could be wrong. KS: Zero Dark Thirty is too politically controversial for the academy. No one can beat Tarantino when it comes

OSCAR PREDICTIONS BY KAITIE SIMONSON & ANDREW STEWART to script writing these days. It’s his to lose. AS: What about Best Adapted Screenplay? It’s a much tougher category. KS: I think it could go to Lincoln or Argo, but I would prefer the latter. AS: It’ll probably be Lincoln. With gjX_iX ab`\aTg\baf g[Tg ß_` \f Zbing to get a lot of love. And let’s just skip Best Supporting Actress, since Anne Hathaway has a million percent chance of winning it.

KS: I would happily stake my life on that claim. AS: If only Best Supporting Actor was that easy. I honestly don’t know who the favourite would be here. I’m tempted to say Tommy Lee Jones, because of Lincoln, but... KS: Tommy Lee Jone is unfortunately the supposed favourite. I myself am a die-hard Philip Seymour Hoffman fan, but regrettably he’s been overshadowed. AS: Personally, I’d love to see

Christoph Waltz win. He’s just so much fun. KS: Waltz just has this way about him, I tell ya! AS: Oh, we should throw in a joke about how he should “Waltz away with the award.” That would be HILARIOUS! KS: Best actress? I don’t want to say it, but I think Emanuelle Riva for Amour is gonna beat out the brilliant Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty. AS: Really? I can’t see the Academy

EMMA SPANJER emma.spanjer@mytwu.ca giving out an award this big to an unknown French actress. Chastain and Lawrence have already outperformed Riva in all of the Critics Association Awards. I think it’s down to the two of them, and as great as Chastain was, I just love Lawrence too much. She gets my vote. KS: Don’t you remember when the once unknown Marion Cotillard won for La Vie En Rose? I want Chastain to win and Lawrence to be my best friend. AS: Best actor? KS: It’ll go to Daniel Day-Lewis. That man is too talented for his own good. Of course I want the underdog (ie: Bradley Cooper) to get it. I don’t think a movie like Silver Linings Playbook comes along for an actor like him too often. AS: Agreed. Day-Lewis pretty much has a lock on the category at this point. KS: Director? I know what you’re going to say so just give it to me straight. AS: < g[\a^ g[Tg 5Xa 4YàXV^ \f pretty much guaranteed to win. Oh wait, he wasn’t nominated. Guess it’s Spielberg. KS: Well played. And now for the big event [insert drum role here]… best picture! AS: LES MISERABLES! Ha just kidding! Everything seems to be pointing towards Lincoln, but…I don’t know. I think Argo can still pull off an upset here. In fact, many people are actually expecting it to. I’m not sure if a ß_` g[Tg jTfa¹g XiXa ab`\aTgXW Ybe Best Director has ever won before, but g[XeX¹f Zbg gb UX T ßefg g\`X Ybe XiXelthing. KS: <Y 5Xa 4YàXV^ \fa¹g Zb\aZ gb be nominated for Best Director then he sure as hell better have the chance to get up on that stage and accept the award for Best Picture as a producer. AS: How could anyone resist AfàXV^ 4A7 6_bbaXl2 <¹` ]hfg abg fheX it’s possible. KS: In my dreams it is . . .

The Foreplaylist Angels - THE XX Let’s Get It On - MARVIN GAYE Amor fati - WASHED OUT Skin Of The Night - M83 Rocky Spine - GREAT LAKE SWIMMERS

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room - JOHN MAYER Without You - LANA DEL REY

Night Drive - JIMMY EAT WORLD Nightcall - KAVINSKY Hearbeats - JOSE GONZALEZ Dead Hearts - STARS >PSKÅV^LY - CEE LO The Morning - THE WEEKND Dance Me To The End Of Love CIVIL WARS Thinkin Bout You - FRANK OCEAN

FOR He C OFTM ARRONTEX IAGE T

Processional - JOSH GARRELS No Voice Was Raised - CASTANETS Holla If Ya Need Me - TREY SONGZ Drummer Kick - CITIZEN COPE Running Up That Hill - PLACEBO Chicago (Adult Alternative Version) - SUFJAN STEVENS I Want You - THE BEATLES Explode - UH HUH HER

Nice and Slow - USHER Green Eyes - COLDPLAY Tonight - JOHN LEGEND FT. LUDACRIS Limit To Your Love - JAMES BLAKE Easy - THE COMMODORES Sexual Healing - MARVIN GAYE (CAUSE YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF HIM)

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Seahorse and a cow…seacow” -Jon Chan

February 13, 2013

A&C.

Posed or exposed? A titillating peek at the issue of nude art.

Streaking. Skinny dipping. Showering. BETHANY Sleeping. Sex… ROY ing. There are so many great things to do naked, but even so, does the comfort and maneuverability of this state really merit it being considered an appropriate sub]XVg bY Teg2 G[XeX \f T ßaX _\aXµßaXe even than that which separates one UeXTfg Yeb` Tabg[XeµfXcTeTg\aZ Teg from something more sinister. Nudity has been present in art for centuries, and while I don’t blame Michelangelo, I must question nudity’s role in today’s sexually-driven culture. Regardless of nudity’s once high place in Renaissance art, few vestiges of its once-elevated position remain today. Michelangelo’s sculpture of David was originally commissioned gb TWbea g[X ebbà\aX bY g[X 9_beXaVX Cathedral. The artist chose to depict the second king of Israel buck naked. Now, this is in fact the state in which David danced in the city streets when the ark of the Lord was brought to Jerusalem, and David’s unreserved celebration of the Lord is surely a laudable thing, but if a penis appears anywhere on a church building today, nobody thinks of Bible characters. David was unveiled in 1504, and the statue ultimately came to symbolize g[X _\UXegl bY g[X 9_beXag\aX EXchUlic; this connection is a logical one, if one remembers David’s life, and yet I doubt that many today will see past the privates and on to the principles. Today, we are inundated with images of nudity, and yet our fascination with the body is entirely different from those of the Renaissance. Tasteful nude art is still alive and vibrant, but to the general public, nakedness

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has come to represent something else entirely. Advertisements have capitalized on the appeal of nudity and thereby cheapened its history. Calvin Klein TaW [\f fhVVXffbef jXeX g[X ßefg gb recruit the male body to sell products; highly aware of the trigger-happy nature of visual stimulation in the male mind, Klein started utilizing scantily clad male models in order to attract the newly emerging gay clientele (at this point, it was assumed that women would not be attracted to visuals).

”

If a penis appears anywhere on a church building today, nobody thinks of Bible characters.

”

Make no mistake; the human body is a beautiful creation. We are made in the image of God, and our bodies are T jbaWXeYh_ eXàXVg\ba bY g[Tg! 4YgXe all, Adam and Eve were formed naked, and only changed out of their birthday suits after sin entered the world. Our UbW\Xf TeX Ta \aVeXW\U_l `TZa\ßVXag creation that is meant to be celebrated. Art allows us to see the beauties of the world in a new light, presenting the world with a new way to see life. In the spirit of this alternative perspective, artists make a point of differentiating between “nude” (objective), and “naked” (subjective). It is only natural to create art of the human body in its purest form to celebrate the beautiful creations of God. But something as arbitrary as the medium of nude art still plays a huge role in how it is received. While a

painting of a woman’s body will unWbhUgXW_l UX WXßaXW Tf Teg T c[btograph of the same naked lady will more likely be labeled as merely pornographic. The distinction between art and pornography is slender and contentious. We are certainly embodied human beings, but we are also sexual human beings, giving nudity in art a dangerous potential to heighten sexual desires that can lead some to stumble. The lover in the Song of Solomon has no qualms about addressing the naked body in his art form: “Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies” (Song of Solomon 4:5). This now controversial scripture was a favourite topic for many Medieval Christian mystics; Bernard of Clairvaux wrote a total of 86 sermons on the Song of Solomon. Yet he still warns his readers that this book should only be attempted by the spiritually mature: “One cannot start reading this book unless he has reached a certain degree of purity. Any other reading would be unworthy if the àXf[ [TW abg UXXa gT`XW \Y \g [TW abg yet been submitted to the spirit by an exacting discipline.” Art is a wonderful form of displaying the beauties of God’s creation, but in this highly sexualized culture, where many are vulnerable to visual temptation, nudity in art is an unnecessary temptation. Nudity in general and in art have a rich history that cannot be erased by the advertisement or pornographer industries, but for now nudity in art will, unfortunately, be linked with these adulterations.

Luke-warm

The zombie genre gets a romantic twist. I will be the ßefg gb V_T\` an aversion MEREDITH OVERMYER to Zombie movies. I would watch the cheesiest Disney V[\V^ à\V^ UXYbeX < g[bhZ[g TUbhg wasting two hours watching corpses walk around, arms extended, feasting ba [h`Ta àXf[! ;bjXiXe g[\f `bi\X was written and directed by Jonathan Levine (who also directed 50/50), so I decided to give it a try. G[X ß_` WXc\Vgf T cbfg TcbVT_lctic city with a growing population of “un-dead” characters who spend their days grunting and bumping into each other. The main zombie, R (Nicholas ;bh_g WbXf T eX_TgTU_X `bab_bZhX voiceover that is really the only redeemable part of the overly grisly beginning of the movie. After the opening scenes, the plot follows the slow (literally, corpse-like) romance of R and his human counterpart. Teresa Palmer is a cute (albeit a Kristen Stewart look-alike) blonde,

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who adequately portrays the role of a human girl confused by her growing feelings for this male. But despite her being a Twilight doppleganger, this movie is not a Twilight knock-off. Perhaps the most intriguing part of the movie was the gradual, delicate removal of R’s “zombie make up” to usher the plot believably toward the jT^\aZ bY g[X WXTW! ;X _XZ\g\`TgX_l transformed from a creature with àXf[l U\gf [TaZ\aZ Yeb` [\f `bhg[ to a moderately attractive young man. Another memorable component was the carefully constructed soundtrack that included classics by Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, and Guns N’ Roses as well as modern favourites from Bon Iver, M83, and The National. So, while I originally went to the movie so that I could creepily text my friends, “Warm bodies…? Tonight…?”, it turned into an oddly enjoyable movie-going experience.

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Elephant-rhino (i.e. elephino)” -Hanna Adan

13

14

February 13, 2013

One-on-one with Two or Three A local band releases their debut EP. Gjb lXTef TaW gjb TWW\g\baT_ `X`UXef TYgXe TIM Gjb be G[eXX ANDRIES `Xg TaW Ybe`XW Tg Ge\a\gl JXfgXea Ha\iXef\gl g[X UTaW \f ceXcTe\aZ gb eX_XTfX g[X\e WXUhg 8C! Resolve \f g[X eXT_\mTg\ba bY `bag[f bY gXagTg\iX WeXT`\aZ WXgXe`\aXW c_Taa\aZ TaW f^\__XW XkXVhg\ba! G[X eXVbeW\aZ ceb]XVg ebWX g[X jTiX bY T [hZX_l fhVVXffYh_ YhaWeT\f\aZ We\iX ba <aW\XZbZb!Vb` j[\V[ cebi\WXW Ubg[ T ßaTaV\T_ TaW X`bg\baT_ ^\V^ Uhg g[X ebTW gb g[\f eX_XTfX [Tf abg UXXa cTiXW j\g[ lX__bj Ue\V^f! @XeX jXX^f UXYbeX [XTW\aZ \agb g[X fghW\b [Tef[ geTZXWl VbaYebagXW g[X UTaW! 4aWeXj ;TeUTV^ g[X UTaW¹f _XTW f\aZXe fbaZje\gXe TaW `TXfgeb ßaZXe fgl_X Zh\gTe\fg X`XeZXW Yeb` T ßaT_ XkT` gb aXjf bY g[X WXTg[ bY [\f YTg[Xe! GXa WTlf _TgXe 6Tg[Xe\aX 4YàXV^ bY 7XVeXTfXW 9\eX CbgXag\T_ YT`X TaW g[X UTaW¹f aXjXfg `X`UXe _bfg [Xe YTg[Xe gb Ta TVhgX [XTeg \aYXVg\ba! G[\f TWWXW gb g[X ghe`b\_ g[Tg 4WW\fba CTf\h^ Gjb be G[eXX¹f UTff c_TlXe [TW UXXa YXX_\aZ TYgXe g[X _bff bY T WXTe Ye\XaW T V_bfX haV_X TaW T ZeXTg ZeTaWcTeXag XTe_\Xe \a g[X fX`XfgXe! ;bjXiXe \Y g[X g[bhZ[g gb cbfgcbaX eXVbeW\aZ W\W bVVhe \g jTf dh\V^_l TUTaWbaXW! Gjb WTlf TYgXe [\f YTg[Xe¹f YhaXeT_ 4aWeXj TaW g[X UTaW UXZTa eXVbeW\aZ! Gjb WTlf TYgXe [Xe YTg[Xe¹f WXTg[ 6Tg[Xe\aX ]b\aXW g[X` \a g[X fghW\b! <VX jTf YT__\aZ Yeb` g[X Cbeg @Taa Ue\WZX Tf Gjb be G[eXX WebiX gb 9TWXe @bhagT\a FbhaW \a ITaVbhiXe! CTh_ 5bXV[_Xe g[X eXVbeW\aZ XaZ\aXXe jTf eXTWl TaW jT\g\aZ Ybe g[X` j[Xa g[Xl Tee\iXW! G[X `\Vebc[baXf jXeX ba TaW g[X gTcX jTf eXTWl gb eb__! <g jTf _\^X XagXe\aZ T g\`X jTec! 8iXelg[\aZ X_fXµg[X Ze\XY TaW g[X cT\a g[X X`bg\baT_ eb__Xe VbTfgXe g[X WTe^ gj\_\Z[g mbaX g[Tg [TW XaiX_bcXW g[X ceXVXW\aZ jXX^fµeX`T\aXW TVebff g[X e\iXe ba g[X XTfgXea f[beX! <g jTf g\`X gb chg \g T__ bhg g[XeX. \g jTf g\`X gb `T^X `hf\V! 4aW j[Tg [Tf g[\f eXfb_iX TVVb`c_\f[XW2 G[X eXVbeW\aZ \f \a f[beg fbc[\fg\VTgXW TaW TVVb`c_\f[XW!

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From Resolve¹f ßefg fXVbaW ¶G[X 5XXf· Xkc_bWX \a T fjTe` bY fbhaW TaW e[lg[` g[Tg \f Ubg[ TeeXfg\aZ TaW XaZebff\aZ! 4aWeXj TaW 6Tg[Xe\aX¹f ibVT_f fj\e_ \a T `XTfheXW W\fha\gl g[Tg _XTWf gb T YeXaXg\V Ue\WZX! G[X i\eghbf\gl bY 9eTfXe 9\X_W Gjb be G[eXX¹f c\Tab `Ta f[\``Xef! G[X g[eh` bY ¶5XXf· WX`hef Tf ¶Abg FheX · g[X aXkg fbaZ ba g[X T_Uh` fge\^Xf T abgTU_l fbYgXe gbaX! ;XeX jX [TiX T eXce\fX bY _Tfg lXTe¹f `hf\V i\WXb g[Tg YXTgheXW g[X _biX_l B_\i\T FgXc[Xa. [XeX jX [TiX g[X bU_\ZTgbel cbc fgl_XW _biX fbaZ WXT_\aZ j\g[ TaZfg TaW Ta haeXdh\gXW _biX! ;XeX jX eXT_\mX g[X TWWXW W\`Xaf\ba T YX`\a\aX ib\VX [Tf UebhZ[g gb g[X UTaW \a 6Tg[Xe\aX¹f VbhagXe `X_bWl. g[X UTaW jbh_W UX Uhg Ta XV[b bY \gf ceXfXag fbhaW j\g[bhg [Xe!

”

AbaX bY hf jXeX _bb^\aZ Ybe T c\gl cTegl j[Xa jX WXV\WXW gb VTeel ba j\g[ g[X eXVbeW

”

;XeX jX [TiX T [\ag Tg j[Tg Gjb be G[eXX \f f[Tc\aZ hc gb UX! 8iXa g[bhZ[ eXYXeXaVXf gb :eXXa 7Tl TaW @h`YbeW TaW Fbaf TeX TccTeXag g[Xl TeX àXXg\aZ TaW fXeiX gb ce\V^ g[X XTe eTg[Xe g[Ta c_TVTgX \g! J[\_X g[X UTaW `TaTZXf gb eX`T\a TVVXff\U_X g[Xl TeX Wb\aZ fb j\g[bhg Vb`ceb`\f\aZ ba be\Z\aT_\gl! JX [TiX [XTeW `hf\V _\^X g[\f UXYbeX Uhg jX [TiXa¹g [XTeW g[\f `hf\V! ¶< [TiX UXXa Zb\aZ Ybe T Zh\gTe fgl_X g[Tg U_XaWf g[X ceXV\f\ba TaW Vb`c_Xk\gl bY V_Tff\VT_ ßaZXe c\V^\aZ j\g[ g[X cbjXe TaW XaXeZl bY ebV^ TaW eb__ · fTlf 4aWeXj! G[\f `\kgheX j[\V[ _XTWf TaW We\iXf XiXel fbaZ cT\ef UXThg\Yh__l j\g[ 9eTfXe¹f \age\VTgX c\Tab e\YYf! G[X \agXec_Tl UXgjXXa g[XfX gjb \afgeh`Xagf TaW g[X gjb `hf\V\Taf¹ fgl_Xf Ybe` g[X ha\Yl\aZ UTfX bY g[X 8C! 4aW g[Xa g[XeX \f Gjb be G[eXX¹f e[lg[` fXVg\ba- =bXl @XeTj ba cXeVhff\ba TaW 4WW\fba CTf\h^ ba UTff! G[X Vbage\Uhg\ba g[XfX gjb `T^X gb g[X biXeT__ fbhaW \f eXfgeT\aXW TaW g[\f jbeW\aZ

\f \agXaWXW Tf T Vb`c_\`Xag! ?\^X g[X YbhaWTg\ba bY T Uh\_W\aZ \f \agXZeT_ lXg hafXXa g[X jbe^ bY g[XfX gjb X`cbjXef g[X `X_bW\V TaW [Te`ba\V \agXec_Tl bY g[X bg[Xef! G[XeX \f Ta \afgeh`XagT_ \agXe_hWX fXcTeTg\aZ ¶EXje\gX· g[X _Tfg fbaZ ba g[X 8C Yeb` g[X eXfg bY g[X T_Uh`! <g \f T `Te^ bY `hf\VT_ `Tghe\gl g[Tg jTf abg XkcXVgXW ba T WXUhg T_Uh` Ul T gjb lXTe b_W UTaW bY UTeX_l gjXagl fb`Xg[\aZf! 9heg[Xe`beX \g \f T _biX_l c\XVX XdhT__l Tccebce\TgX Tf T jXWW\aZ cebVXff\baT_ be Tf T eXdh\X` Tg T YhaXeT_! ¶EXje\gX· bcXaf j\g[ g[X _\aXf- ¶JX TeX jTaWXe\aZ "" 4 YTg[Xe fba aXeibhf [bj2· G[X ¶YTg[Xe fba· eXYXeXaVX \f T eXje\gX g[Tg 4aWeXj `TWX \a eXfcbafX gb [\f YTg[Xe¹f WXTg[! J[\_X g[X fbaZ [Tf UXXa TebhaW Ybe T j[\_Xµg[Xl c_Tl \g eXZh_Te_l Tg VbaVXegfµ¶<¹iX UXXa jbaWXe\aZ ¸J[Tg \f g[\f fbaZ TUbhg2¹· fTlf 4aWeXj! ¶< V[TaZXW \g fb g[Tg \g fT\W ¶YTg[Xe fba· j[\_X jX jXeX \a g[X fghW\b TaW g[Tg V[TaZXW g[X Xag\eX g[ehfg TaW `XTa\aZ bY g[X fbaZ!· 4aWeXj¹f _le\Vf jbe^ _\^X g[\f. g[Xl TeXa¹g fgeT\Z[g T[XTW UT__TWf be cebgXfgf be fgbel fbaZf Uhg `hf\aZf g[Tg `TaTZX gb gXTfX Tg \WXTf TaW X`bg\baf g[ebhZ[ TffbV\Tg\ba TaW e[l`X! ¶AbaX bY hf jXeX _bb^\aZ Ybe T c\gl cTegl j[Xa jX WXV\WXW gb VTeel ba j\g[ g[X eXVbeW · fTlf 4aWeXj ¶Uhg \afgXTW gb cTl bhe eXfcXVgf gb g[X cXbc_X j[b `XTag fb `hV[ gb hf!· 8V[b\aZ g[X fXag\`Xag 6Tg[Xe\aX TWWf ¶G[X cXbc_X jX _bfg TeX cXbc_X j[b jTagXW gb fXX hf [Tccl TaW gb Zb TaW Wb ZeXTg g[\aZf!· Resolve \f T ZeXTg c\XVX bY jbe^! <g \f W\iXefX \a e[lg[` TaW TeeTaZX`Xag! <a fhU]XVg `TggXe TaW \a cXeYbe`TaVX \g \f eXT_! Two or Three released the single from Resolve, “The Bees”, yesterday on iTunes. There is also a music video to accompany it on YouTube. Resolve will be released on March 5. It will be available for digital download on iTunes and in hard copy from the band members. You can also keep up with Two or Three on Facebook and on YouTube. Look there for details regarding a CD release party currently being planned for March 8.

LAURA JENSEN

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “St. Bernard and Starfish…I’d call it “St. Patrick” -Patrick Loftus

15 February 13, 2013 A&C.

WHAT TV COUPLE ARE YOU ? WHAT IS YOUR AGE DIFFEREBCE?

9e¢[[ ZWj[

Less than 3 years

Dinner with the family

WHAT DOES A TYPICAL DATE LOOK LIKE?

Dej[ WdZ W ]_\j YWhZ

MWjY^ W cel_[

De$$$^[ ^[ ^[$$$

DID YOU ACTUALLY WATCH A MOVIE?

Yes!

BY EMMA MEREDITH & CHRIS

*WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY CONFLICT THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE ANSWERING OF THESE QUESTIONS

Kcc$$$m[Êh[ Yeki_di$

W THE MAT RY & MA

?ji Yecfb_YWj[Z$

J^ek]^ oek \[bj fh[iikh[ \hec Xej^ e\ oekh \Wc_b_[i je ÓdWbbo ][j je][j^[h" oek jhkbo bel[ [WY^ ej^[h WdZ Wh[ [W][h je ijWhj W \Wc_bo$ Je][j^[h oek [d`eo bed] ijhebbi ed [ijWj[ ]hekdZi" Yedj_dk_d] j^[ \Wc_bo Xki_d[ii" WdZ \ehcWb +#Yekhi[ c[Wbi i[hl[Z Xo oekh belWXb[ ijW¢ c[cX[hi$

IAS TOB DSEY & LIN

Ij_bb medZ[h_d]$

Oekh \h_[dZi WdZ \Wc_bo Wh[ ij_bb kdikh[ m^o oekÊh[ je][j^[h$ Ed[ e\ oek _i i_]d_ÓYWdjbo ceh[ WjjhWYj_l[ j^Wd j^[ ej^[h" WdZ oekh h[bWj_edi^_f _i ^_dZ[h[Z Xo oekh _dWX_b_jo je Z[cedijhWj[ oekh bel[ _d Wdo f^oi_YWb mWo$

They aren’t the only one.

WHEN DID YOU KNOW THEY WE’RE THE ONE.

Bottle up the sexual frustration.

HOW DO YOU RESOLVE CONFLICT?

CWhh_W][$$$\Wc_bo$$[jY...

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW THEIR FAMILY?

Problems in the X[Zheec

WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST FIGHT ABOUT?

FheXb[ci m_j^ ced[o$

M[ fbWo Cedefebo$ We’re cool

8[ij \h_[dZi m_j^ ^[h i_ij[h$

Kdikh[.

M^[d ^[ gk_ji ^_i `eX je X[ m_j^ c[$

L[ho d_Y[$

Dej d_Y[$

Oek Wh[ W \kd#bel_d]" gk_hao Yekfb[ m^e je][j^[h [d`eo beYWb feb_j_Yi" [Wj_d] mW¦[i" WdZ d[hZo iY_[dY[ ÓYj_ed$ Oekh feb_j_YWb j[dZ[dY_[i c[Wd oek Wh[ WYWZ[c_Y" Yecf[j_j_l[" WdZ [W][h je b[WZ$ Oek ^Wl[ W ^[Wbj^o h[bWj_edi^_f j^Wj m_bb Y[hjW_dbo X[ bed]#bWij_d]$

HOW NICE IS THE SHOWHOME?

I^em^ec[$

Kiss and make up/out

WHAT ARE YOU PLANS FOR THE FUTURE?

WHAT DID YOU GET THEM FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY?

& BEN IE L LES

?d W c[Z_eYh[ jemd d[nj je W d_Y[ jemd$

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF LIVING?

New York

9WcfW_]d je][j^[h$

7 Zep[d hei[i

Ceh[ j^Wd ) o[Whi$

M[ m[h[ h[WZ_d] j^[ iWc[ Xeea

WHAT DO OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU?

Yes

IS ONE OF YOU QUESTIONING YOUR SEXUALITY?

Ya, that makes i[di[$

WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICED ABOUT THEM?

START HERE J^[_h XeZo$

YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TOGETHER. WHAT DO YOU DO?

;WY^ ej^[h$

No

90s

THE 60S OR THE 90S?

60s

J^[ Kd_l[hi[

Oek Wh[ j^[ YbWii_Y Yekfb[ [l[hoed[ bel[i1 oekÊh[ c[Wdj je X[ je][j^[h$ J^ek]^ oek m[dj j^hek]^ o[Whi e\ ed#W]W_d e¢# W]W_d" oek Wh[ dem i[jjb[Z \eh b_\[$ Oek [d`eo bed] jWbai el[h Ye¢[[" Y^_d[i[ \eeZ" WdZ ^Wd]_d] m_j^ oekh Ç\h_[dZiÈ$

What? They’re together?

Easy to get Wbed] m_j^$

Too long to h[c[cX[h$

It’s been a whirlwind 1 year

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?

Their XeZo$

S& ROS HEL RAC

Their work [j^_Y$ Ask me bWj[h$

Social prestige

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE QUALITY?

>[h i[di[ e\ WZl[djkh[.

M[ Wh[ dej je][j^[h$

JhWl[b j^hek]^ j_c[$

.

DR THE SE & RO Though your age dif\[h[dY[ _i i_]d_ÓYWdj - Y[djkh_[i¾ oek [d`eo X[_d] je][j^[h de cWjj[h m^[h[ _d j^[ kd_l[hi[ oek ^Wff[d je X[$ Oek Yedi_ij[djbo ÓdZ oekhi[b\ _d ZWd][heki i_jkWj_edi" WdZ oek ÓdZ j^[ ijh[d]j^ je Ó]^j \eh [WY^ ej^[hi iW\[jo _d oekh Z[[f Z[lej_ed je ed[

ER R OG N A & JO 7i W Yekfb[ oek Wh[ Z[Ód[Z Xo fWii_ed WdZ f^oi_YWb WjjhWYj_ed$ Oek Wh[ Xej^ l[ho WjjhWYj_l[ _dZ_l_ZkWbi" Xkj oekh h[bWj_edi^_f _i lebWj_b[ WdZ kdijWXb[$ Jee XWZ oekh Y^[c_ijho _d j^[ X[Zheec YWdÊj ]kWhWdj[[ oek bed][l_jo1 oekh cWhh_W][ Yekdi[b_d] Yedi_iji e\ m^_iao WdZ Y_]Wh[jj[i$

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “I’d give a shark the arms of a bear and call it Kevin” -Brandon Lee

16

February 13, 2013

CREATIVE.

inspired by

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FFFFWWWWS

Meredith Overmyer

Nooksack

Teenage Angst

The way that rivers run one after the other TaW XTV[ Webc g[Tg YT__f ba g[X `bhagT\a¹f YX__ àTa^ tumbles stip over step into the great unknown.

He came in one night While I was busy, Taking popcorn orders. That boy whom I worshiped For weeks – months even!

The way that rivers lie, that time will end and new things pass you by when the drops are only ever reunited with the whole.

Cameron Reed

The way the mountains rise sticking grateful bones into the sky indomitable, unmistakable bastions of grace and goodness and all that sings halleliua! life is indeed granted to us, eternal souls we have been sown. G[X _biX g[Tg \f fbja TVebff g[X _TaW ßaWf \gf jTl UTV^ down the mountainside, reunited rivers run side by side to pour at last \agb g[X fXT ßaT__l lovers resting in each other’s arms.

But that was so long ago, Surely he can’t remember me. And if he does, surely He would only recall the annoying girl Of 4 years prior.

Ellen Graham

He asks for a large root beer, I blurt out some terrible, Poorly thought remark Which reddens my face And deadens my hands. Thinking back on it, I can’t seem to remember What it is that I said to him Though at the time, I relived the moment In anguish, at least 50 times.

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “A crocodile and a sloth…a cloth” -Chelsea Ewert

17

February 13, 2013

SPORTS.

CAMERON STUERLE cameron.stuerle@mytwu.ca

The Cascadia chorus Cascadian supporter groups oppose MLS. The Cascadia Cup is a tangible, physical EMMA t rophy—not SPANJER unlike Lord Stanley’s—bestowed upon the regular-season victor of all games played amongst the three Cascadian teams in Major League Soccer: The Portland Timbers, Seattle Sounders, and the Vancouver Whitecaps. G[X 6hc eXceXfXagf g[X aba bYßV\T_ three team ‘tournament’ and is owned by the respective supporter groups. It has a wonderful history of beginning brawls, igniting passion, and giving un-salvageable seasons fb`Xg[\aZ gb ßZ[g Ybe! EXVXag_l MLS commissioner Don Garber ß_XW gb geTWX`Te^ g[X aT`X bY g[X Cascadia Cup, an entity begun by

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g[X fhccbegXef bY g[X g[eXX CTV\ßV Northwest teams circa 2004, prior to any of these teams’ entry into Garber’s league. A rare but beautiful sight, these supporter groups have united over a common cause to reject Major League Soccer’s trademarking attempts. The Cup was created in 2004, three years before Seattle joined Major League Soccer (MLS) as the ßefg bY g[X g[eXX gXT`f gb Wb fb! :TeUXe [Tf ]hfg\ßXW [\f TVg\baf Ul citing a fear that the Cascadian supporter groups might sell the sponsorship for the Cascadia Cup. By trademarking the Cup, MLS would be able to protect it. But monewtizing the Cup isn’t something that has been proposed or even, as far as the public knows, thought of by the Cas-

cadian Cup Council; if it ever were, it jbh_W UX `Xg j\g[ ßXeVX eXf\fgTaVX as representing every capitalist idea that this quirky corner of the soccer world despises. For these groups, it’s not about the money or prestige of the cup—it was created simply by people who love their teams, rain or shine. The understood love for the gXT`f [Tf ha\ßXW g[XfX glc\VT__l hostile groups to oppose MLS actions to trademark the Cup. In fact, each supporter group has \ffhXW Ta bYßV\T_ fgTgX`Xag bY eX]XVtion and the Cascadian Cup Council intends to do the same. As one writer articulates, “The Cascadia Cup preceded MLS. It continued into MLS. If necessary it will survive MLS. The only connection Don

Garber or Major League Soccer have to the Cascadia Cup is that the MLS regular season happens to be the competition whose results decide it.” After these teams issued unanimous statements of rejection, Garber could have simply cancelled the geTWX`Te^ Tcc_\VTg\ba TaW ßkXW g[X issue he created. Yet he maintains his position of unwarranted fear by contending that “[the supporter groups] can take that trademark and sell it to a promoter. They can produce merchandise that’s not merchandise we would want associated with our teams or with our league.” If Garber truly thinks the supporter groups will buy this plea-of-theprotector and roll over in obedience, he severely underestimates what the

Cup means to these groups, and has clearly never witnessed the voracity with which they can carry out a goal. To the supporter groups, MLS actions are patronizing and look like an obvious way for the league to make money off something that was created, paid for, and has been run by themselves. The Cascadia Cup isn’t a product of the MLS and has no right ever to be. The rivalries between these supporter groups are ßXeVX TaW XkV\g\aZ TaW g[Xl Ue\aZ in country-wide viewership (and money) which should be enough for Garber and MLS. The Cascadia Cup has everything to do with passion and support, and nothing to do with MLS.

Men clinch playoffs

A six game hot-streak lands Spartans the golden ticket. The Spartans men’s basketball team ANDREW PATTERSON i n c r e a s e d their winning streak to six games after winning both games of a double header at home against UBC Okanagan. Not only did they increase their record to 11-9 but they have also clinched a playoff spot. With Trinity Western University being one of the hottest teams in Canada West, it is exciting to see what they have in store for the post season. It was a nerve-wrecking game to watch on Friday as the Heat closed the large gap the Spartans had in the fourth quarter. The Spartans had

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g[X\e ZebbiX Zb\aZ Ybe g[X ßefg g[eXX quarters of the game, simply dominating as they were up 61-42 at the end of the third. But the Heat battled hard, testing the Spartans for what could be the worst-case scenario. Fortunately, it just wasn’t enough for the Heat to catch up as the Spartans narrowly escaped a loss. The Spartans were lead by Tonner Jackson on Friday night. The third year, six-foot seven, Surrey native put up impressive numbers, scoring 19 points along with four assists, eight rebounds and going four for four on three-pointers. Jackson led all players in scoring in Friday night’s game. On Saturday, we saw a similar game to the night before. The Spar-

tans just barely dodged another fourth quarter meltdown loss. With a 65-44 lead over the Heat, the Spartans started to sit back once again. The Heat pounced offensively coming all the way back to tie the game at 69. Fifth year guard Tristan Smith ended the game as he nailed two free throw shots from the line with 1.8 seconds remaining. The Heat had a chance to win with a shot but Smith made a solid effort to block the shot to seal the win. “We played hard for three quarters, but then we let up.” commented Spartan coach Scott Allen. Allen made it clear that he wasn’t pleased the performance of his team in the fourth quarter for both games.

Although the Spartans played well on the weekend, there was no excuse to ease off in the fourth quarter. With playoff basketball around the corner there will be no teams giving up in the fourth. EX`\a\fVXaVX bY T ZeXTg c_TlbYY run the Spartans had back in 2011 brings the feeling of excitement back to Spartans basketball. It was a heartbreaking loss to Carleton in the CIS gold medal game, but it was still an amazing accomplishment for our small university. The win against UBC was simply epic as the Spartans were the underdogs. We will see what this new team has to offer as they gear up for another playoff run. SCOTT STEWART

EVENING WITH THE CHAMPIONS

FEB. 22

5-7 PM

TRINITY TOASTMASTERS PRESENTS RYAN AVERY, CAROL CARTER AND MORE pictured: Josh Parker

SCOTT STEWART

TOASTMASTER MEMBERS $10 | NON-MEMBERS $5 If you couldare mate animals, which would you choose? “Walrus andChallenge” flamingo; a -walro” -Brittanie Rooke What youtwo most excited forhybrid this year? “Events like the Banana Jen Newman

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February 13, 2013

SPORTS.

Rugby’s second | coming

It’s been well over a decade since Trinity NATE Western UniDOYLE versity students have been able to challenge, participate in, but especially, experience, the “hooligans’” game that is rugby union football. Unfortunately, when the TWU men’s soccer program came about, it also meant the retirement of the TWU rugby union program. For too long, Trinity students—Spartan or not—have been deprived of the opportunity to learn and immerse themselves into a unique and popular sport (rugby is the seventh most popular game in the world) that fosters friendships, V[TeTVgXe ßgaXff TaW cTeg\Vh_Te_l personal growth. Why is that so wrong in my eyes and those of the guys who, with and without any experience, have been c_Tl\aZ bhg ba g[X g[\eW ßX_W Ybe g[X past couple of months, rain or shine? Allow me to explain further. Rugby is a profound sport in its own respect; from the life lessons you experience, gb g[X ßgaXff _XiX_ lbh TggT\a ehZUl V[T__XaZXf \gf gXT` `X`UXef àl half, prop, or wing) on, as well as off, the pitch. Unlike American football and soccer, rugby union is its own variation entirely. For starters, rugby union is played with 15 players a side for two halves consisting of 40 minutes where you can only pass the ball in any direction but forward. Students like Coach Dan Squires and many others have been working their tails off trying to recruit people to play this brilliant sport and get to know and build relationships with other TWU guys. Ignorance of the game is not a good excuse to miss out on this experience. Being the multicultural country that we are, it’s hard

The struggle to scrum.

Going even in Edmonton A rare loss and a win versus Alberta.

The Spartans women’s volleyball team ANDREW to the PATTERSON took court this past weekend in Edmonton to face the Pandas of the University of Alberta. It was bound to be an even match as both teams are in the top three and have clinched a playoff spot. And that is exactly what turned out as the Spartans took a 3-1 loss and a 3-2 win. It was unfortunate to see an excellent eight-game winning streak come to a halt after the Spartans fell to the Pandas on Friday night. Along with the loss, the Spartans will not be able to pass UBC for the number one spot. The Spartans will settle for second place, meaning that they

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j\__ [bfg T 6J dhTegXe ßaT_ UXfg bY three. The Spartans went down 0-2 TYgXe g[X ßefg gjb fXgf ba 9e\WTl! G[X Pandas were playing a well rounded offensive match as they breezed g[ebhZ[ g[X ßefg fXg j\g[ T %( $) j\a TaW jba T V_bfX fXVbaW fXg %) $'! The Spartans played well through the second as they were leading throughout the set, but unfortunately the Pandas capitalized at the very end. The alarmed Spartans took over in the third with great efforts from the entire team to win the set 25-20. However, the Spartans were not able to keep up with the Pandas in the fourth set as they were down g[X Xag\eX fXg _bf\aZ \g %( $)! G[X Spartans were led by Carly Hamilton and Amy Ott, who both had 11 kills.

With the loss, it was a different mindset for the team as they stepped on the court to play again on Saturday. It was an entertaining, old fashion volleyball game where both teams exchanged blows. The SpargTaf fgTegXW f[T^l \a g[X ßefg fXg as they were down 8-3 very quickly. They did not let up however, as the Spartans quickly came back and eventually took the lead. A kill by ;T`\_gba jba g[X ßefg fXg Ybe g[X Spartans 25-20. The second set was close for both teams. The Pandas led at the midway point, 14-9 but then the Spartans put on a nice run to tie it at 20. Both teams continued to rally for the set as they passed the 25 point mark. Unfortunately two Spartan attack errors forced the loss on the Spar-

tans in the second set 29-27. After winning the third set 25-22 and losing the fourth set 21-25, the FcTegTaf VT`X \agb g[X ßaT_ fXg TaW ßaT__l VbadhXeXW g[X CTaWTf! <g jTf close throughout the entire set but a kill by Hamilton won the set 15-12 and the match 3-2. Kelci French has an amazing `TgV[ [\Z[ ') Tff\fgf \a g[\f ZT`X helping the Spartans pull off the close win. Coach Ryan Hofer commented on the game, “It was a really exciting match tonight and I thought the girls did a great job of rebounding from yesterday.” The Spartans will now enter the playoff picture with a best-of-three in the quarter ßaT_f Tf g[Xl [bfg 6T_ZTel Tg g[X ?86 on February 14.

to believe that many people aren’t jumping at the opportunity to be a part of this unprecedented movement. Why not give it a go? Even I have been taking part in this growing phenomenon and I can’t speak for the rest of TWU, but as a sports lover, I’m always looking for new ways to challenge myself. The rugby squad is planning their inaugural season that will be in mid-September 2013 and will have a partnership with the ?TaZ_Xl EhZUl 6_hU aXTeUl! LB?B <ai\VghfYTaf Fce\aZthrowarounds All you need is boots and the willingness to learn the game…simple! Any inquiries can be answered fully by contacting Dan Squires at Daniel. Squires@mytwu.ca

HAPPY TIMES

Happy 36th Birthday Randy Moss! The self-proclaimed “greatest wide receiver of all-time” was a non-factor for the San Francisco 49ers the Super Bowl and will likely have to retire without a Super Bowl ring. As absurd as his self-aggrandizing claims were (Jerry Rice says hi), he may actually be the second best receiver to ever play; he is a lock to make the ;T__ bY 9T`X g[X ßefg g\`X [X appears on the ballot. I’m not sure what Moss has planned for his party, but I know he paid for it with “straight cash, homie.”

Happy Anniversery to the National Negro Baseball League! On this day 1920, the Negro baseball league was formed, setting in motion the process that would allow Jackie Robinson to break baseball’s colour barrier and pave the way for racial equality in sports. The league began to crumble in 1949 and ultimately folded \a $,)% Uhg \gf [h`Ta\gTe\Ta legacy lives on because of the opportunities they created for all minority athletes.

Happy Trails to dominant college basketball teams! When Indiana was upset by Illinois last Thursday, it marked the sixth straight week that the number one team has lost. Duke now re-ascends to number one for the third time this season and will look to break the streak beginning tonight against North Carolina as the biggest rivalry in college athletics resumes in Durham.

gospartans.ca

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “Boar + owl = bowl” -Jason Vander-Hoek

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February 13, 2013

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KAITIE SIMONSON kaitlee.simonson@mytwu.ca

Give them a Will you be mine? summer that lasts forever! | $ OLEUDU\ ORYH OHWWHU

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g[\V^ TaW g[\a! G[ebhZ[ gXTef TaW _\gg_X f_XXc! G[ebhZ[ `XagT_ UeXT^Wbjaf TaW YT\_XW gXfgf! G[ebhZ[ eXfXTeV[ cTcXef TaW _TgX a\Z[gf! < j\__ aXiXe Z\iX hc ba lbh! 8iXa j[Xa jX Wba¹g TZeXX! ?\^X j[Xa lbh¹eX Gb_^\Xa bhg _bhW gbb `hV[ be j[Xa lbh fc\__ [bg gXT ba `X _\^X j[Xa < `T^X lbh `TW Tg g\`Xf be f_\Z[g_l VeTml! 5hg UX Vb`YbegXW ^abj\aZ g[Tg < jTf `TWX ]hfg Ybe lbh! 9be g[bfX YXj g[Tg eXfXag `X < j\__ abg Z\iX hc ba lbh­ < j\__ jbb lbh j\g[ `l fgheWl f[X_iXf TaW Xag\V\aZ i\Xj! < ceb`\fX abg gb Ubb^ \g bhg bY lbhe _\YX Talg\`X fbba! < ceb`\fX abg gb eXTW \agb \g j[Xa lbh [TaZ bhg j\g[ 7Xaal¹f `beX g[Ta j\g[ `X! < ceb`\fX abg gb UX fb fXe\bhf T__ g[X g\`X! JX VTa c_Tl ZT`Xf _\^X J\^\ FVTi-

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February 13, 2013

DE-CLASSIFIEDS.

marshillonline.com/de-classified

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff , the student association, or that of the University. In fact probably not. Dear Sco!, There are clean versions of songs for things like Hootenanny. Sincerely, My Virgin Ears Dear Virgin Ears, Your ears can’t be that virgin if you picked curse words out of a censored song. Sincerely, Sco!

Don’t know if this girl is fun, or she’s just on T 3’s… If your sad because you were alone on Valentines Day, Just remember nobody loved you on the other days of the year either dayyyymmm that Spartans hockey team has really picked up some beauties this semester <3 #12 gotcha continues... feb 14th.

To whoever was making bird noises in the tree the other day, I know you were spying on them. And just because they said, “See you tomorrow” to each other a#er math tutorial doesn’t mean...

One thing I dislike about chapel: feeling like the 6 foot and taller guy behind me is straddling me.

Where are we going lil guy? Do I need to bring my wallet?

Quit Stalin, and be Mein!

I couldn’t help but notice that “awesome” ends with “me”, and “ugly’ begins with “u” It is so hard to hold in my manliness! Hot-Wheels When the most exciting thing that happened over the weekend was a homeless man stealing a diet coke from the caf. .. Well at least he’s watching his sugar in take. Just look into my eyes and tell me that I can get a 4.0 gpa

I’m here for you, but know that I’m just as scared as you.

Your world is about to change.

Can someone please make Trinity dance parties mandatory every friday night? #needmyfix

Sooo Fraser and Mackenzie si!ing in a tree? #tradition

There already is a D&D club on campus. Talk to Jason V.

Justin Poulsen, are you in a relationship yet?

604 for life.

Please stop stealing from the caf. They do so much for this campus and donate lots each year. I heard they hardly even make any money and still treat us so well. So please, respect Sodexo and appreciate what they do for us. - sincerely, student who cares about the wellbeing of their university.

If Kent Clarke is superman, who is Tom Hatina?

Justin Poulsen, are you in a relationship yet?

Did you know that “mother-in-law” is an anagram of “woman hitler”? Let that be a lesson to all you freshman couples.

Riley Reimer

Here’s my open mouth and a limp tongue. What more do you want? #neverbeenkissed Keep an oxygen tank in the Marley collegium! Someone laughed for two minutes straight. I timed it! When, X was told to keep a straight face, X laughed again… FOR TWO MORE MINUTES. When X was shown a video of X laughing, X started laughing AGAIN. Luckily their pectoralis major was tired out. Was it distracting, or did I just find a good research paper topic?

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Year: 3

If Kent Clarke is superman, who is Tom Hatina? I couldn’t help but notice that “awesome” ends with “me”, and “ugly’ begins with “u” Yo Mucho Goodo Taco, Actually, the Aztec word for avocado is awakatl. sincerely, Diego Hernández I swore I would never become a Trinity couple. On my mother’s bloodstained grave I swore it. But I was foolish, and now I weep for the loss of my integrity. Bad foresight and all.

THE VANGELIST

SHE

Height: My legs go on forever COMMUNICATIONS family. WIN. Hometown? Oakville, ON Denomination? One church, one God y’all. How long before he proposes? One year (Gotta see him in every season—the beach Fave preacher? Mark Clark bod and the Christmas sweater.) Fave Bible verse? Jesus Wept. Won me Best pick up line? Do you need prayer? some Bible verse contests with that bad boy. Cuz I can totally lay my hands on you…

Fave song? “My Life Be Like” - Grits Top quality in a future mate? Lips of Favourite man in the Bible? Samson: an angel but the touch of a devil. I like a strong man with a good head of hair. How would you win his parents Favourite way to worship God? over? Bake off with the mom, burping conGazing upon God’s beauty…the male body. Age limit (max/min)? Min: J Biebs. Max: Hugh Hefner

Idea of perfect date? “That’s a tough

test with the dad.

How do you know if it’s love? If he can beat me in an ugly photo contest.

one. I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not Skill that makes you “the one”? I too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jack- can shred hard, but cuddle up soft in the chalet after. et.”

Good age to get married? 24 or 25 How would you make-up after Best place for a first kiss? On the your first fight? In the context of marlips of course…

riage…

Ideal proposal? After a day of skiing with Biggest deal-breaker? If he has bigger

perfect conditions, get off the chair lift at the top pecs than I do. of the mountain for one last run and see a can- Domestic talent? I’m the best cook I dlelit dinner overlooking the view, he pops the know…and super humble. question.. I say yes. Come down the mountain Love language? 3 karat Tiffany engageto a party in the chalet with all our friends and ment ring…

*excluding matcha

If you could mate two animals, which hybrid would you choose? “a penguin-deer—can you imagine how awkwardly it would run?” -Eleanor Felton