Volume 24 Issue 8: Trauma

MCMILLAN LAKE PG. 6

VOLUME 24 TRAUMA

DORM TRAUMA PG. 7

KOBE BRYANT PG. 9

ISSUE NO. 8 02.12.20

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Dear Reader, Very real suffering happens here. And not the kind of suffering that can simply be addressed by talking about it. We have “raised awareness”—now we need some solutions.

Believe me, I have tried.

The suffering I am referring to is the suffering of the multiple women on this campus that I know of who have been assaulted or made uncomfortable by men who profess faith.

I’m concerned about the individuals who have been allegedly misdiagnosed by TWU affiliated medical practitioners and been over-prescribed highly addictive medication that ended up causing very real harm. I’m concerned by the fact that while significant progress has been done to improve Equity of Access, students with co-morbid mental health diagnoses with their physical or mental disabilities struggle to get the exceptions they need to continue contributing to this community. I’m concerned about students from other cultures who do not have access to therapy in their own languages, nor a cultural framework within which to situate this kind of healthcare.

While the Wellness Centre has great resources that students are taking advantage of, the students who face the kinds of circumstances that we see above are the ones that I am concerned about. Those in the midst of an intense and protracted recovery process have limited access to the kind of long term care that they need—the Wellness Centre only allows each student 10 sessions.

These are the mental health issues faced by students. A week talking about it in Chapel— which we have tried—is still quite far from the crux of the issue.

methods of implementing it. We have resources for situational anxiety; we need resources that connect students in recovery with longer-term help.

None of these people who have faced the drawn-out and cyclical reality that is a journey with mental illness, or through trauma, would tell you that they are alone. They know, probably better than most of us quote-onquote “healthy people,” that Trauma lives in everyone.

Through this editing process, many of us have explored the possibility of a personified character for Trauma. Some of us found it within ourselves to laugh with her, others prophetically resisted. Some embraced anonymity, others sought catharsis through openness.

Gradually, trauma became someone with whom we are acquainted, with whom we can embrace. She was an integral part of our process.

We begin our preparation for each issue with a “create meeting,” during which we discussed what “trauma-informed” editing practices might look like for this issue. We protected anonymity and voice. We did not ask our collaborators to justify or verify the depth of their struggle. We did our best to honour the fact that each of us has trauma that intractably impacts our everyday lives, which must be given space to respire and adjust. We did our best to deal gently with each other, and reconciled when we fell short.

This text is dedicated to our mentors in Student Life, the newly elected TWUSA team, and other culture-carriers on campus who occupy decision-making positions—may we ever find ways to improve.

As ever,

We need to transcend awareness and pursue best-practice. TWU now has a sexualized violence policy; we need trauma-informed

MARS’ HILL

MISSION TO MARS

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of Trinity Western University located on the tradtitional ancestral territory of the Sto:lo people. Floated with funds raised by the Student Association, Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and relevant student publication, reflecting and challenging the TWU community, while intentionally addressing local, national, and international issues.

The mission of Mars’ Hill, as the official student newspaper of Trinity Western University, is to inform and entertain its readers, cultivate awareness of issues concerning the TWU community, and provide a forum for purposeful, constructive discussion among its members in accordance with the Community Covenant, Statement of Faith, and Core Values of the University.

EDITORIAL POLICY

CONTRIBUTORS

Mars’ Hill encourages submissions and Letters to the Editor. Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit submissions for style, brevity, and compatibility with the Mission, the Statement of Faith, the Student Handbook, and the Core Values of the University.

Anonymous authorship of any material may be granted at the discretion of the Editorin-Chief.

Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill belong to the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, Trinity Western University, its officials or its Student Association.

Amaris Sydney Natalie Hillary Rees Colton Carter Micah Lis Micah Mal

Henry Dvorak Davidson McBride Morgan Loewen Sawatzky Bron Browning Morgan Siemens Media Advisor: Loranne Brown 7600 Glover Road, V2Y1Y1 Langley, British Columbia, Canada marshill@gmail.com marshillnewspaper.com

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SUBMIT YOUR OWN AT MARSHILLNEWSPAPER.COM/DECLASSIFIEDS Suck it Daniel my hair follicles are never bored.

How do tell a dormmate that I don’t like being talked to whilst on toilet I used a page of the last Mars Hill issue to smoke tea leaves out my window. Thanks Guys! #DefyTheNormsOfAcademia YOU ARE WORTHWHILE FRIEND! Hi - please respond promptly following the instructions: go outside to the tree in front of TWUSA and face towards Reimer \ look up for 30 sec. plus another 30 \ now go and document this experience \ post your findings to this tree by next Wednesday I know this is an unpopular opinion but I like Sodexo. Thanks for always making good food and your hard work :) There are a lot of professors who are underrated…

I think I could be good friends with Olivia Walton. You write good articles Olivia. I agree with a lot of things you say what’s my major? i’m a christian witch—sorry for the freudian slip! i mean psyc major!

Has anybody seen Mark Husbands?

Does he even go here?

I need someone (male) to fake marry my RA. Serious inquires only.

Please contact me at fakemarrymyra@gmail.com Hercules: energetic and fertile.

My dear LC-worker chum, matcha lattes are not made with coffee, but such grievances I do put behind us mum please come pick me up there are horny men of christ here Mcmillan is lowkey a coronavirus bunker For all you non-Americans: thought you’d like to know that in school we watch National Treasure after every recitation of the flag pledge. Thank you for your time.

When are the business boys gonna learn to aim their tiny lil weewee’s?

Honestly, the northwest dudes bathroom is worse than a slip and slide. Cmon boys, you’re called to higher. *shakes fist at sky* this is supposed to be a DRY campus

There’s no greater tension than the tension between me and the library ALARM WILL SOUND doors

Does anyone else notice that Jacob Laucach hold his guitar really high?

Sodexo’s motto is Cs get degrees

To the person who enjoys watching us play guitar hero, your welcome to join anytime! @crackheads_of_ apartment_233

y’all don’t understand what english majors are like...they hold to a whole different set of social norms...terrifying…

Whoever is in love with Kendra Kay in here she’s graduating this year, so you better out yourself and get on it

there are tons of amazing people on this campus but Jenn Skelding is by far the best

Say no to Drugs mysterious demons offering unlimited power!

(flax seed) egg

How is that new portable by the tennis court up to code? its literally on stilts.

Rev. James Ellis III -how are your forearms as big as your biceps?

TWUSA please teach your people how to brew coffee TWUs updates on the cornavirus on the website is slowly getting more panicky and I live for it TWU 300 only cares about soccer, volleyball and basketball try and change my mind The lack of sidewalks at TWU has me surprised that more people haven’t been hit by cars Hey its 2020 TWU, I think its about time Trinity faculty actually supports the LGBTQ+ community in a Godly way Anyone else scared every time they park in the new parking spots that they are gonna go over the ledge and into the swamp?

Anyone else always tempted to drive on the red part of the roundabout every time they drive?

Bethany Haynes has my TWUSA vote simply because...look at her.

Like, she can be vice president of my relations?

To all you dudes who think all the hot girls are in NW this year... Y’all obviously never hang out with the cool kids in the West Coast My prof compared the “Logos” with herbal garlic suppliments My seatbelt light kept flashing... but then I realized...

It was the watermelon in the passenger’s seat.

Duh. Can we please start calling Reverend James Ellis the 3rd JE3? what if Dr Husbands made a tiktok evangelize me: 778827943 Sarah Creach fan club meeting. Friday night, second train after nine.

Usual location.

Any event Sarah Creach is at, I’m at. Just want to get a glimpse of her beautiful face. “In a completely normal way.”

TWU continues to monitor the Novel Coronavirus and has protocols in place for students, faculty and staff.

Hey Trinity, if it’s going to rain for a few weeks maybe turn the sprinklers off? Even you could do your part in conservation, clearly you electricity bill is only making it worse.

10/10 would recommend having Chrisaleen use her souther[n] accent for a meeting All I really want from TWUSA elections is promises to overthrow the bourgeoisie elite Potential nicknames for the new School of Business: “Bob the Building”, “Kuhn. G. Bob (KGB) Building”, “Kuhn Komplex”, “Bob Tower”. Thoughts?

This year, celebrate Valentine’s Day by having secret marriages that the government doesn’t recognize just like the patron saint Can’t wait for another reading break of having no exciting plans but watching everyone post on Instagram about their vacations There better be K-Pop dance groups at Hootenany again - that was everything I didn’t know I needed I am the Greta Thunberg look-alike girl.

Overheard in the caf: “she’s just a child” why everyone think they so cool ? we are dust

Hey freshman, joining a church community could make you feel less lonely. The leaders and pastors can support your jouney. Joining clubs and being a student leader helps too. You’re not alone! :) To the guy who uploaded 50 declassified and made it look like it was me: If you like me just DM me. Communicating directly could solve the problem. Besides, a man should treat a woman he likes with courage and respect.

I am worth way more than chasing after a guy who ignores me all the time. I am done chasing after you.

If you want me that bad you can come and get it. There are plenty of guys out there who are in to me willing to treat me like a queen so I’ve got no regrets.

“It’s his loss really” - Rees Morgan By the way, I think the poster incident was a success. It brought awareness to the group and gave people an opportunity to think about the situation. Changes are made when you go against the norm. “yeah except i did that prank last year so was it really against the norm?” - Rees Morgan Kent Clarke is awesome. He throws away banana peels for you when you are finished eating them.

PSA: hey if you’re in a Jacobson study room, you shouldn’t be talking. that’s what the lounges are for.

My roommate and I started talking about Calvinism and it snowed, I think the LORD was unimpressed

How does TWUSA not have a Tic Tok account?

If someone is going to pay for grad school through Young Living revenue it is Kelsey Morris

How do you tell someone to politely stfu

anybody else feel forlorn and miss their greek mythology phase

Is mars hill intentionally censoring the eg dude? where did he come from? where did he go?

Why is 90% of this school is blonde

“I just want more coverage so I can be more famous” - Lydia Dahl “You would” - Rees Morgan

sometimes I feel like I’m playing T-KO when I submit more than one of these at a time

:( + :) = :|

Ok google get over yourself

hello rees morgan, you are cute and I would date you. signed, a girl wtih a crush (you)

Roses are red, violets are purple, its okay to be single eat some Pringle’s

@lonely 1st year. come to Mcmillan 128. You sound like you need some tea. All are welcome. Srsly.

what’s it called when you’re hangry but instead of being angry you’re sad?

i caught the bride’s bouquet!!

Where is he, my dude????

guess who slept in until 12 today, I am thriving

I can’t stop coughing but I’m trying to convince myself that you can’t actually contract Whooping cough

omelette discourse Yes I did vote “No Candidate” and I have no regrets Congrats to the new TWUSA Exec Team! you Guys are going to do great!!!

Nyssa Morgan is the queen of the bottomline

Jacob Laubach throw it back

What’s all this hype about Sarah Creech? I’ve never even seen her before? And that’s not just cause I live in North West.

Yike, but pronounced as in Nike

<3 + :( = :D

I am 21 going on 22 what am I going to do I need someone older and wiser tell me that too mmmmmmmm afffogaaaatoooooo

hey if anyone wants to find “the one”, apparently I’m the girl you date right before you find them so uh lemme know I want someone to love me like Jim Scott loves talking about the Epistle of Enoch A vote for No Candidate is a vote for Josiah Haynes Jen McPhail is a Mennonite PSA: Jacobson study rooms are not where you work on group projects.

Go to a lounge or the library please.

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff, the student association, or that of the University.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Amaris Henry WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR? Theatre major/music minor WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Abbotsford WHY DO YOU WRITE FOR MARS’ HILL? Because Emmett Hanly asked me nicely.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My fruit crocs that I wore to prom because I’m not like other girls.

IF YOU HAD TO STAND ON ONE SURFACE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The crushed hopes and dreams of the collective theatre department.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE YOU’VE WRITTEN FOR MARS’ HILL AND WHY IS IT IMPORTANT? I’ve already forgotten every comic I’ve drawn but comics are funny and everyone loves a good meme, so that’s pretty cool.

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE (FICTIONAL) CHARACTER AND WHY? Toph from The Last Airbender because she is an icon.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK AND WHY? Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered by Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff because it covers all the important questions in life and is a great how-to guide.

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EMMA DYKSTRA

Every student on campus has encountered Trinity Western University’s (TWU) Bookstore, whether for textbooks, school supplies, or their first university-branded sweatshirt bought to celebrate starting post-secondary school. Because of this universal role in campus culture, the TWU Bookstore deemed it necessary to update their business and their brand to become more accessible, culturally aware, and efficient.

The branding shift over the past year is reflected in a change of name. The TWU Bookstore is now called Trinity Western Outfitters.

This change was in large part thanks to Susi Marquez, the manager of Trinity Western Outfitters. Marquez explains that the old name’s misleading nature was the inspiration for the change.

Marquez notes that “the textbook industry as a whole is not what it used to be. We aren’t a store just full of books.” The word “outfitter” is more representative of what function Marquez thinks the department now serves.

An outfitter, according to Marquez, provides “the equipment needed for whatever the experience is going to be.” As a university retailer, the Trinity Western Outfitters team wants students’ everyday necessities readily available. Items like umbrellas, calligraphy pens, Bibles, journals, backpacks, gifts, and hammocks all cater to the TWU audience.

Marquez’s vision for Trinity Western Outfitters is not only to cater to its demographic, but to also reflect the unique atmosphere of the university. “University bookstores are boring and all look the same,” she says. “BC is not like everywhere else, so we didn’t want it to look like everywhere else.”

Bringing the attractiveness of “BC outdoorsy things” capitalizes on what the Pacific Northwest has to offer. The store carries popular name brands such as Herschel, Champion, and Adidas.

Merchandise stations in Trinity Western Outfitters now reflect a curated vintage vibe and according to Marquez, students are loving it.

In addition to the rebranding, there have also been updates to the primary computer system, which included moving textbook sales online. This was a major change for students because it requires a credit card to make purchases. For students who do not have access to a credit card or who would prefer other methods of payment, Trinity Western Outfitters is currently working on an in-store method connected to the new computer system, which will not require a credit card. This online system makes textbook buying accessible anytime and anywhere, which is convenient for students with busy schedules.

Another benefit of moving textbook sales online was how it opened up space for inventory. “Our only big selling season for books was only a couple months a year. For 10 months a year, the space wasn’t being used well,” Marquez explains. The new system reduces the likelihood of theft, wear-and-tear, and confusion over the location of a textbook.

Upgrading the inventory and point of sale (POS) systems to make online textbook sales possible proved more difficult than expected. The previous system “was over 25 years old and had crashed a couple of times over this past school year,” Marquez recalls, even to the extent of shutting down the store while it was being worked on. Furthermore, the old system was too old to export data in Microsoft Excel so textbook prices, ISBN numbers, and merchandise counts were unable to transfer.

Overcoming technological challenges proved difficult, but the benefits far exceeded the frustration. Positive effects of the change were experienced before textbook ordering even became available to students. Professors were able to order books online and were not subject to the “archaic system” of handwriting ISBN numbers, which had caused problems in the past. They now use an online catalog with dropdown menus that Marquez says, “cleaned up [our] relationship with the prof[essor]s a bit.”

Miscommunication between the bookstore and professors has been a cause of frustration for students in the past. Furthermore, when courses are added after the start of the semester, the bookstore can be left in the dark, forcing students to find other avenues to obtain textbooks.

Trinity Western Outfitters has also faced problems from external sources. A recent hurdle they faced was a publisher who refused to ship books to Canada due to renegotiated national trade agreements.

Marquez notes that it is important for customers, and students specifically, to understand that there are many things going on behind the scenes. After all, “it really is up to the students” to let Trinity Western Outfitters know if there is a problem that needs to be fixed.

When asked how people have responded to the recent updates, Marquez said that the campus has been patient, understanding, and amazing overall. After both the exciting rebranding and the frustrating but necessary computer upgrades, the Trinity Western Outfitters staff hopes that “the student body will embrace the idea of newness” and realize they are trying. Their desire is to receive “honest feedback” in order to create a business that effectively meets the needs and desires of the TWU community.

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CHRISALEEN CIRO “I don’t know, sometimes I just think that most students find TWUSA’s processes somewhat opaque,” comments philosophy major, Kyle Penner. The average student has little cause to interact with the inner machinations of Trinity Western University Student Association (TWUSA).

Regardless of the procedures that Penner, and many others, find to be somewhat “opaque,” many students still interact with TWUSA on a daily basis.

The majority of services that most students associate with TWUSA originate from President Cody Friesen’s 2015-16 administration. Under the banner “We Are One,” Friesen expanded TWUSA’s services to include an accessible lounge with free coffee and printing. However, to the chagrin of many schedules, every Tuesday at 1:15 p.m. the TWUSA lounge closes and the team gathers upstairs in the Reimer Student Centre for “TBM” (TWUSA Business Meeting). There, the members conduct such median-level-stakes business as approving bylaw amendments and club proposals. The atmosphere is formal, yet efficient— and denim is strictly prohibited.

These meetings are open to students, yet few students deem it necessary to expend such valuable time in the midst of often overly busy schedules.

Small and somewhat tedious measures are in place to ensure accountability with the student body (for example, the minutes from all TBMs are posted on TWUSA’s website), but aspects of the organization might remain somewhat confusing.

Every year, candidates for both executive and representative positions on TWUSA run on platforms of “transparency” and “accountability.” Regardless of the fact that some aspects remain the same from year to year, every election season brings its own quirks and innovations. One of the most interesting this past election cycle was the prevalence of “joint campaigns.” This year, the top three candidates for president ran joint campaigns with candidates for vice president.

In 2017, Jared Barkman, president hopeful, surprised campus when he and Matthew Greidanus, candidate for vice president, ran a joint campaign. At the time, it was novel for two candidates to pool their resources and run a particularly aggressive, comprehensive, and successful campaign.

Barkman is “fascinated” to hear that many are going the “joint route this time around.” Barkman is quick to point out that he and Greidanus were not the first to run joint campaigns in TWUSA’s history, though he believes that they were the first in about a decade. He goes on to say that he believes that there are significant advantages to running together, commenting specifically on the fact that “it provided a coherent vision from the start,” Additionally, Barkman explains, “The Pres[ident]/ VP relationship is vital to a functional team, and if you run with someone who you know, you’ll have a constructive working relationship with, someone who shares your vision for the year, and someone you can trust, it makes a world of a difference.”

However, this presents a problem as the campaigns are not linked on the ballot. Students are not required to vote for both running mates. For some, this presented a conundrum.

When it came time to vote, current student, Kyla Mears, was frustrated: “I just kind of wish they hadn’t run together—it kind of influences my vote.” Ultimately, Mears’ concerns proved to be legitimate.

As Barkman emphasizes, the campaign is a critical period during which candidates solidify their vision and build the foundation for relationships. With so many joint campaigns, some voters, including Mears, wondered at the implications if the elected candidates were split from their chosen running mates.

When all votes were cast, third year international studies major Dany Lombardo was named president-elect for the 2020-21 academic year with approximately 41 percent of the vote. Abigail Sefzik narrowly took Vice President with 37 percent of the vote—securing only 12 votes over runner-up Fred Fang. Third year accounting major, Jada Wiebe, was elected Vice President of Finance with nearly 60 percent of the vote. Current TWUSA member and art and design student Bethany Haynes was elected Vice President of Student Relations with over 62 percent of the vote. Running uncontested, Maritha Louw was elected Vice President of Academic Relations with 73 percent of the vote.

The results of the election were decided by a decreasing number of voters, compared to previous years. One significant trend in TWUSA elections is the fact that voter turnout is continuing to decline.

In Barkman’s year, 966 students voted. The following year, 2018-19, voter participation surpassed this record with the participation of 1021 students. But last year’s trend of declining voter turnout continued this election cycle with only 840 students participating. This is less even than the record held before Barkman was elected. While there are several compounding explanations for the declining participation, it remains a notable trend.

When Ezra Blaxland, Kevin Chai, and Dany Lombardo—all international students—announced their candidacy for president, it seemed likely that a student from outsideNorth America would occupy a position that few had pursued previously. While Mars’ Hill was unable to verify how many members of TWUSA’s executive council have been international students, we can confirm that Lombardo’s victory marks the first election of an international student to the position of TWUSA president since the beginning of the “We Are One” era.

When asked about the significance of being elected as the first international student TWUSA President in recent memory, Lombardo states, “I would say that I’m truly honoured, I’m grateful our school is open to the leadership of people from different cultural backgrounds. I’m excited to see how our campus becomes more like the Kingdom of God, where people from every tribe, tongue and language can glorify God.”

TWUSA ELECTION RESULTS N RY JO N D VA MON EG

E NO DIDAT CAN

JERICHO CUI

A K M HU EM ISC M

JADA WIEBE

BETHANY HAYNES

NO ATE DID CAN

NO CANDIDATE

DESARAY DILDAY

ABIGAIL SEFZIK

MARITHA LOUW

NO CANDIDATE

NO CANDIDATE

FRED FANG

DANY LOMBARDO

EZRA BLAXLAND

K CH EVI A N I

BLACK FEMINIST WRITERS FINALLY REACH BOOKSTORES IN BRAZIL SYDNEY DVORAK

Bookstores across Brazil have recently begun stocking books by black womanist and feminist writers. Works by famed authors like Patricia Hill Collins, Audre Lorde, and Angela Davis have been published in Brazil for the first time, over three decades after their original publications.

Brazil is a conservative country with regard to gender roles. According to the World Bank, women in Brazil tend to be wives and mothers and have limited representation in both politics and the labour market. This leaves little room for discussing, or contributing to, the feminist canon.

Afro-Brazilian writer Conceição Evaristo said: “Because of racism, the Brazilian imagination can’t recognize that black women are intellectuals.” Publishing and distributing these books is important to break barriers for international feminism. Public access to black feminist authors and their work is important to conceive of and affirm their worldviews.

The works of Collins, Lorde, Davis, and other feminist writers of colour are linked to the increase in women of colour pursuing higher education. Brazilian feminists hope that publishing these books will open new doors and increase opportunities for women beyond traditionally assigned gender roles, which are exacerbated by racial discrimination, in Brazil.

According to historian and researcher Raquel Berreto, “People need to move out of that mindset that it is just the white man, a certain type of white man, who writes and discusses the narratives about the world, who generates thought.”

6

FLOODING A THREAT TO SALMON POPULATION

GRACE GIESBRECHT

WHAT THE HONK IS QUESTION PERIOD? EMMA DYKSTRA

If you have ever seen a clip of someone in the Canadian House of Commons standing up and yelling at someone across the room, chances are that footage was taken from a session of Question Period in the House. There is a lot of shouting and it may seem like madness, but Question Period is actually an important part of Canadian democracy.

During Question Period, which takes place every day the House “sits,” Members of Parliament (MPs) have a chance to take a verbal punch at those who hold power. According to Our Procedure, the set of rules that governs procedure in the House of Commons, “The primary purpose of Question Period is to seek information from the Government and to call it to account for its actions.” This period lasts about 45 minutes. MPs have the opportunity to pose questions to the Prime Minister, or any of their cabinet members, about policies and actions in place. These questions often contain light insults designed to call the government out on its misdeeds. The Cabinet responds (or at least tries to) accordingly.

One person stands between Question Period and total chaos: the Speaker of the House. Among other functions outside of Question Period, they serve to calm down any ruckus, make sure those who are posing or responding to questions stay within their time limit, and generally preside over other goings-on within the House.

Question Period is open to viewing by visitors from the gallery, and it can be viewed online, as well. To watch it is to witness democracy at work.

Question Period might seem boring, but it is actually an exciting tradition.

The fact that we as Canadian citizens have access to a 45 minute session of government heckling is kind of neat.

If you are ever in Ottawa or are really bored and want to watch it online, you might be surprised at how entertained you are.

McMillan Lake on Trinity Western University’s (TWU) campus is not considered an environmental blight by the average student. The body of water known lovingly on campus as “the pond” plays a key part in campus culture: new couples tour awkwardly around its edges and new students flounder into its strong-smelling shallows.

But underneath its surface, the pond is a problem.

Non-native species of fish introduced to McMillan Lake have thrived for years in their new habitat. Natalie Ross, Environmental Studies Department Worker at TWU, explains that it “pos[es] a problem for the surrounding ecosystem.”

Aggressive and dangerous to the native flora and fauna, the fishes thrive both in the pond and in the waterways surrounding it, when they can reach them.

Recent flooding has caused a plethora of issues in the Greater Vancouver Area, from landslides and avalanches to burst pipes and flooded roads. But, around TWU, the hidden environmental impacts of this flood lie in the infiltration of non-native fish from McMillan Lake through floodwaters into the Salmon River.

The extreme precipitation behind the flooding is attributed to an atmospheric river, which forms a narrow moisture corridor and causes heavy rain (or snow, in higher elevations) when it meets land, according to Environment Canada. A Pineapple Express is an atmospheric river that forms over Hawaii and moves across the ocean to North America’s west coast. Our recent downpour is a common example of this recurrent phenomenon. As climate change continues, these storms are expected to come more often and stay longer.

In the final week of January, 2020, the Pineapple Express that hit Canada’s southwest coast caused major flooding. Measurements of rain collected by Environment and Climate Change Canada range from 55 millimetres at Vancouver International Airport to 138 millimetres at Pitt Meadows.

Abbotsford area received 119 millimetres over the three days of downpour. Environment Canada states that these measurements are not yet official figures.

Those 119 millimetres of rain caused the water level of McMillan Lake to rise and flood the riparian zone between the pond

and the Salmon River, according to Ross.

As floodwaters rise, the invasive fishes (pumpkinseed sunfish and largemouth bass) leave the pond for the Salmon River.

“Salmon are a keystone species within this ecosystem” Ross explains, “and the Salmon River is very important for providing a habitat and spawning area for the salmon population.” But the invasive fish are aggressive, taking over the habitat, attacking the salmon themselves, and establishing themselves “not only in the pond, but in the river.”

The “invasion” was recognized in full in 2008, when a summer student netted large numbers of both pumpkinseed sunfish and largemouth bass in McMillan Lake.

After that discovery, David Clements, TWU professor of Environmental Studies and Biology, writing for the Langley Advance, describes a situation in which the BC Ministry of Environment advised TWU to remove the threat of invasive fish. He discusses similar concerns to those of Ross, particularly that juvenile salmon will be exposed to the “marauding bass” from the pond at high water.

Clements goes on to describe an electrofishing campaign in July, 2013. By sending electric currents through the pond, he and his team were able to stun and collect 579 fish. Only 10 of these were native species.

Though the electrofishing was successful, it was not the end of the line. Rather, it illustrated the severity of the invasion.

Ross explains that “it was never [expected] that these introduced fish would be able to withstand the cold temperatures of winter, or be able to swim upstream.” But they have adapted. Though natural predators for the fish exist (Ross mentions river otters), “they will probably never make a dent in [the invasive fish] population.”

Flooding causes both obvious issues, such as those reported by municipalities up and down the coast during the atmospheric river, and subtle threats like the transfer of invasive species into delicate habitats. Ross’s understanding of the situation in McMillan Lake mirrors this subtlety. The place in the ecosystem of the salmon in the Salmon River, and in many other places like it on BC’s coastline, is precarious, but vital. It is crucial then, Ross says, to keep invasive species away from such systems. It can cause many hidden, but impactful, problems.

7 DISCLAIMER: THE NAME WITHIN THIS ARTICLE IS FICTIONAL IN ORDER TO PROVIDE ANONYMITY TO OUR SOURCE

MAKENA WARDLE

The roles of both the Resident Assistant (RA) and the Resident Director (RD), as stated on the TWU website, are to “work with student leaders and resident students to foster a living-learning environment that promotes individual and group development.” Since these activities were forced upon Quinn by their RA, the clear solution to the ending of these blatant violations of the Student Code of Conduct for Quinn was to address these issues with their RD. Quinn said they attempted to reach out for help from an RD to no avail.

The RD, after listening to Quinn express their unease and recount some of their traumatic experiences (all while trying not to out themselves as queer) with homophobic remarks and toxic masculinity, asked Quinn to try to take steps to resolve the struggles with their RA.

For some Trinity Western University (TWU) students, living in dorms is the greatest highlight of the post-secondary experience. Many find their dorm to be a place for connection and inclusion—a sanctuary amidst the stress of university life. This positive perception of dorm life has become so orthodox on our campus that confessions from those who feel otherwise are considered heretical, leaving many afraid to speak up about serious issues that occur inside their residences.

However, these students do exist. I sat down with Quinn, a current TWU student, who wished to share their experience.

“TWU prides itself on a strong campus community life,” Quinn explains, recalling what they were led to believe would be their experience in dorms. “But the backlash and disappointment with dorms is never publicized or brought into the light for risk of social suicide and pity.” Having lived on campus for the duration of their university years, Quinn has experienced trials throughout.

From forced participation in traumatic dorm games—which is wildly common in TWU dorm life—to living under a Resident Assistant (RA) who both ignores and utters homophobic comments, Quinn’s “on-campus” experience has been far from the picture-perfect communal living that is often depicted and implicitly promised.

TWU states on its website that dorms “are not just a place to sleep at night, but are viewed as an important location to develop students in the fulfillment of our University’s mission.” In fact, the university claims that dorm life will develop “tolerance and respect for differences.” Though this may be the experience of many, it is certainly not the experience of all. Some students feel alienated from their community, and this is often brought on by one specific type of activity: hazing.

In university life, the connotative meaning of hazing is the process of embarrassing and harassing others as a form of initiation into a group. The “Prohibited Conduct” section of the Student Hanbook states: “Hazing [is] defined by but not limited to: An act which endangers the mental or physical health, well-being, or safety of a student for the purposes of initiation or admission into, affiliation with, or as a condition for continued membership in a group, organization, dorm, or team.”

Though the term “hazing” is not explicitly used to describe many of the activities that take place within the dorm communities, initiation-type activities occur on TWU’s campus that violate the conditions laid out in the Student Code of Conduct. Stories from current students tell of scarring experiences such as fake kidnappings, forced skinny dipping, and other activities that cause both direct bodily and mental harm. Quinn expressed that they have experienced both “initiation without a way out, causing extreme embarrassment and discomfort,” and “pranks that invade personal space and living areas [ . . . ] in the name of bonding.”

Quinn said there is a “guy code that one must be ‘for the boys’ or else risk alienation from the group.”

So, in the name of bonding, the innocuous becomes slyly insidious. Students sacrifice sleep, compromise their academic priorities, blur their social boundaries, and become trapped in the “Trinity bubble,” all because dorm culture demands full loyalty and participation in exchange for safety and pseudo-acceptance.

Though the advice was given with good intentions, the implications are troubling—why should someone who has been traumatized be burdened with the task of resolving the situation themselves? Further, the RD told Quinn that unless someone was being hurt by these comments and activities and came forward, there was nothing to be done on part of university administration, forcing Quinn to either come out— risking harm at the hands of homophobic dorm mates—or ease back into the silence, with no changes enforced.

The message sent by this RD was that harmful male stereotypes and homophobic slurs are only unacceptable if someone in the near victinity is directly hurt by them. It is implied that one must be willing to out themselves to the same community that is traumatizing them—and even worse, that the RD was willing to wait until somebody was hurt to take action. Not only does this devalue prevention and proactivity, but it devalues Quinn’s story.

“I don’t believe this is an individual problem as my RD believes; it is a structural and systematic issue with dorm life,” said Quinn.

Though the fact that many students enjoy their time living on campus cannot be denied, neither can the fact that many feel the opposite. There is a flaw within a system that refers to group torment as bonding, hazing as “dorm games,” and humiliation as “just a part of the experience.”

Our university’s faculty and administration need to hold their RAs, as well as other members of the community, accountable for their actions: this should not be the job of the victim. Specifically, members of the LGBTQ+ community should not be required to out themselves in order for their concerns to be taken seriously. Further, observers should not have to demonstrate that they have suffered emotional harm. Conduct such as hazing or slurs is prohibited—therefore, it should be immediately addressed.

If you are being negatively impacted by your dorm, or another area on campus, that is not something that is required of you in order to be a member of the TWU community. If you are comfortable, go to your RA or RD and consider bringing a friend you trust with you. Reach out and try and see if others around have had similar experiences as you; there is power in numbers. If you are a member of a dorm that engages in this behaviour, be willing to challenge this culture and use the Student Handbook for reference. If you are an RA, think critically about the culture of your dorm and be willing to take responsibility for it. Community transformation is everyone’s responsibility, regardless of their lived experience.

“ TWU

PRIDES ITSELF ON A STRONG CAMPUS COMMUNITY LIFE—BUT THE BACKLASH AND DISAPPOINTMENT WITH DORMS IS NEVER PUBLICIZED OR BROUGHT INTO THE LIGHT FOR RISK OF SOCIAL SUICIDE AND PITY,”

8

KELSEY MORRIS

Langley-based rapper Caleb Brown, who goes by the stage name C2B, released a new single on February 7, 2020, entitled “Glass.”

Having been profiled in the Langley Advance and other local news outlets, Brown sought space to speak about his work in this issue of Mars’ Hill. “Glass” provides the unqiue opportunity to explore the responsibility and relationship between art and accuracy—particularly when that art is intended to raise awareness.

The new song, which Brown says was inspired by the opioid crisis on the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver, details the experience of struggling with addiction and an opioid overdose. According to the Canadian government, approximately 11 Canadians die each day from opioid-related overdoses—this number does not include the dozens of overdoses that are reversed using naloxone products, specifically Narcan, which block the effects of opioids.

This is a complex public health crisis, impacting most of us in some form or another—including Brown himself, as he explains that he has “seen addiction from every side,” specifically in the form of his ministry on the Downtown Eastside through Trinity Western University’s (TWU) outreach opportunities. Despite this self-reported experience and consultation with “rehab counselors, recovered addicts, mentors to addicts, and addicts themselves,” however, Brown’s lyrics lack both internal consistency and external validity.

The depiction of the opioid crisis that Brown relays in “Glass” does not quite match the depictions provided by experts in the field, and those with actual lived experience with devastating addictions to the substances Brown ineffectually references.

In the first verse alone, the artist mentions drug paraphernalia related to cocaine and heroin, references “crack” by name, and describes the feeling of “tweaking,” an experience that refers exclusively to being under the influence of methamphetamine. In the second verse, Brown talks about the subject of the song trying to find his “next line” and craving “some good blow”—both of these references would indicate that the individual struggling with addiction is using cocaine. But, this is a song about the opioid crisis— critically, cocaine and methamphetamine are not opiates.

When asked about this, Brown explains that his song is actually meant to be about “the opioid and drug crisis.” When further prompted about the inconsistent referencing and the confusion it may cause, Brown says, “I used slang drug terms to not limit this song or addiction to one specific drug,” seeming not to understand that the drug references used are actually very specific and carry important connotations for those who have been exposed to the realities of substance abuse.

Further, Brown emphasizes that each verse tells the stories of several addicts—each with a unique path to addiction and drug of choice. This nuance is, unfortunately, not immediately apparent.

While this is an artistic choice that Brown indicates reflects a desire to tell a multiplicity of stories, one has to wonder at its efficacy if the stories become conflated.

An example of this is when Brown’s lyrics say, “Swore it was a one time / Man i’m feelin real fine / Party in the hills now, i’m looking for my next line.” When asked what the path to addiction looks like, Brown says, “No one just does heroin at a party,” which seems baffling, considering the song has clearly depicted drug use that

began recreationally at a party. He goes on to point to the layers of experience that lead many traumatized and vulnerable individuals down the path of homelessness, addiction, and repeat overdosing. While Brown’s explanation clarifies that this is an individual whose drug of choice is cocaine, again, the lack of clarity disguises Brown’s intended meaning.

Along with inconsistent drug terminology and confusing epidemiological interpretations, Brown’s lyrics carry unfortunate implications for the community of individuals deeply impacted by declining mental health. At one point in the song, Brown depicts a father with addiction saying that he refuses to let his children see him use drugs because “he is not a hood bro”—implying two inappropriate things: first, that the mental illness of addiction is shameful, and second, that only men from the “hood” would allow their children to be exposed to drug use. These choices, rather than eliciting empathy from the listener, seem to actually reinforce the stigma that Brown is trying to deconstruct. This portrayal is further complicated by provocative lines such as, “I’m about to flip moods / Gotta get a fifty or a hundred or i’ll intrude” or “I just need my fix and I am running out of options / Sell myself on these streets.”

The music video that accompanies “Glass” features Brown in a straitjacket, acting as the individual struggling with addiction. He says that the straitjacket is meant to represent the powerlessness and imprisonment that comes with addiction. But the symbol’s connection to the disease of addiction is tenuous at best, and wildly irresponsible at worst. When asked if he is concerned that individuals will see his artistic choice in the music video as somehow falsely equating drug use and the kind of mental illness that requires a straitjacket (traditionally used to prevent violence against others and self-injury), Brown says, “They should know my background, the background of the song, and know the overall message.”

BROWN HAS EXPRESSED THAT HE WANTS THIS SONG TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THE OPIOID CRISIS, SEEKING TO HUMANIZE THE ISSUE. IT FEELS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE TO DO SO WITH INACCURATE DEPICTIONS OF THE CRISIS AND THE VULNERABLE POPULATIONS INVOLVED. WHEN SPEAKING TO BROWN, HIS PASSION FOR THOSE SUFFERING AND MARGINALIZED IS CLEAR, EARNING “GLASS” ITS IRIDESCENT TITLE—HOWEVER, ONCE HE STARTS RAPPING, IT SEEMS SOME OF HIS INTENTIONS GO UP IN SMOKE. In response to questions about the imagery, Brown quotes Jay-Z: “If you don’t like my lyrics you can press fast forward.”

9

TYLER JONES

The hoops world was rocked on January 26, 2020 when basketball legend Kobe Bryant, along with Gianna Bryant, Christina Mauser, John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Alyssa Altobelli, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester, and Ara Zobayan were killed in a helicopter crash. With the exception of the pilot, all were connected to the basketball team that Bryant coached. Bryant’s 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, inspired him to bring women’s basketball to new heights.

As one of the greatest athletes to ever grace a basketball court, the unexpected passing of Bryant has rocked basketball fans and players. Whether one is a Lakers or Celtics fan, the loss of Bryant has brought unity between supporters of different NBA factions. In response to this tragedy, Bryant’s life and basketball career have been honoured—and questioned—all over the world.

Bryant has been recognized by many other professional athletes such as Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals who sported Bryant’s famous number 24 during warm-up. As Bryant spent his entire 20 season career with the Los Angeles Lakers, earning five championships along the way, the Lakers honoured Bryant by dedicating their entire game on January 31 as a tribute to his legacy. But even without the recency bias of his passing, Kobe Bryant solidified himself as the greatest Los Angeles Laker of all time.

The three most recognizable names in basketball’s history are Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant. Not only have these three players been able to make a name for themselves on the court, but they are notable businessmen, marketers, and cultural icons. As Bryant’s personal growth continued, his brand as a world-renowned icon continued to gain traction. Bryant’s self-given persona—the “Black Mamba”—was arguably the biggest factor in heightening his brand’s originality, separating himself from Michael Jordan. Bryant chose the “Black Mamba” in order to emphasize his killer instinct on the court.

Bryant was not only one of the most talented players in basketball history, but he had an unparalleled work ethic. When Bryant was only 18 years old, one of his teammates, Byron Scott, walked into the gym two hours prior to a Lakers’ practice to find Bryant practicing by himself. Though this may be perceived as an anecdotal interaction, many who observed Bryant throughout his career have stated that his work ethic was like no other.

Although most responses to Bryant’s unexpected passing have come from members of the global basketball community, many who are not basketball fans or players have been impacted by Bryant’s life. As a result, this has raised questions about Bryant’s legacy off of the basketball court.

After Michael Jordan’s reign of dominance in the league, Kobe Bryant’s entry into the NBA seamlessly transitioned the basketball world into the budding of another NBA superstar. Early in his career, though, Bryant was not only wreaking havoc on the defenses of opposing teams, but on his own reputation as new outlets

reported on the behaviour for which he would become infamous.

Many fans from Bryant’s early years remember that in 2003, just months after his first child was born to wife Vanessa Bryant, he was accused of raping a young woman who worked at a hotel he stayed at in Edwards, Colorado. Bryant denied the allegations and said that he and the 19-year-old had not had intercourse at all, but when the rape kit evidence collected shortly after the alleged incident tested positive for Bryant’s DNA, Bryant claimed that the encounter was consensual. She later declined to testify and the charges were dropped. Bryant publicly apologized to both the young woman and her family following a civil case settled out of court, but continued to deny allegations that what took place was nonconsensual.

Bryant appeared to clean up his act in the years that followed, despite rumours that he was cheating on his wife. It seemed that instead of sinking deeper into the quicksand of news headlines, Bryant turned himself into a role model for many young basketball players, earning the reputation of a hard-working family man. While the work ethic of the “Black Mamba” was always cranked to its fullest potential on the court, Bryant also poured his work ethic into other ventures in the later stages of his career.

His involvement as the official ambassador of the After-School All-Stars program, which provides healthy after-school activities for children in select cities, was a strong portrayal of his drive to give opportunities for human flourishing.

The passing of Kobe and Gianna Bryant has left the Bryant family in shock. They are survived by Vanessa, Bryant’s wife of nearly twenty years, and their three remaining daughters. Being an NBA superstar bore distractions apart from Bryant’s family, but his love for his daughters was exemplary. As Los Angeles is one of the busiest cities in North America, traffic was a major issue for the Bryant family. Therefore, Bryant began using helicopters as his main method of transportation around LA in order to ensure that he was able to spend more time with his family.

Though cracks remain in Bryant’s legacy, remember him for the man he ultimately became. Not only has the stone-cold nature of the “Black Mamba” reverberated through the fabric of basketball, but in a plethora of other avenues, as well. Bryant’s passing has shaken the world—rightfully so.

Rest in peace Kobe Bryant.

“ THOUGH

KOBE BRYANT’S LEGACY HELD ITS HICCUPS, REMEMBER HIM FOR THE MAN HE ULTIMATELY BECAME. NOT ONLY HAS THE STONECOLD NATURE OF THE “BLACK MAMBA” REVERBERATED THROUGH THE FABRIC OF BASKETBALL, BUT IN A PLETHORA OF AVENUES AS WELL.”

“Embodiment” is becoming an increasingly common term in discussions about wellness and on social media, but not everyone necessarily knows what this word means. Do you have a particular definition that you find helpful?

This year in Mars’ Hill, we have been wrestling with the nature and person of God, and how we come to know and understand this nature. We are particularly interested in exploring how we comprehend or encounter God’s gender. Would you be willing to share some of your journey of coming to understand God’s gender, or other aspects of God’s identity?

I remember while I was still an undergraduate student, and taking some courses in Old Testament studies, I learned that the Hebrew word for the Holy Spirit was considered a ‘feminine’ word (in some languages, words are feminine or masculine, which dictates if they have a ‘le’ or ‘la’ in front of them, with French for example). It got me thinking about gender, and why we have decided that it matters what gender God is. I had read once “if God is male, then male is God.” It seems that deciding God is a he is a great way to dismiss, and devalue, the experiences of women. It seems that androcentrism, whether we see it or not, has infused our experiences and understandings of God. And that is problematic, because then we devalue and dismiss the experiences that are not “like we think God is,” and miss how God might actually be revealed and experienced. In that way, I think we are not unlike many of the Jews who were waiting for a messiah to come in the form of a military leader, and missed Jesus for who he was, because they were expecting him to be something else. Sometimes we can get caught up in our ideas, and defending our ideas, in such a way that closes us off to who God is, and how God wants to come to us.

Learning about gender as a construct which is separate from sex, made me think about why it is political for us to say that God is male, or even to say that God is masculine, which are different things. I can understand why God came to the earth as Jesus—a man. Especially given the political climate and sociocultural context of patriarchal societies, no leader, messiah, royal ruler, could have been a woman. But, I think it’s important for us to see that God is bigger and vaster and more holy than our social constructs, our binaries, our ways of understanding.

I have to constantly remind myself of this, but Jesus said quite clearly that “whatever you do to the least of these, you also do to me.” It can be so much easier to find God in the things, people, or places, we have been told God is; the pastor, the church leader, the Bible. While I believe God is there, I think we may miss the very something God was trying to show us, if we believe God is only in the things and people that are “the most of these” and opposed to “the least of these.” That means I’m inclined to look for God wherever I have been told God could not be, or in the devalued, lower-on the hierarchy, or marginalized. In a world where despite our progress, our culture still prizes male over female, thinking over embodiment, person over earth, I believe it is our spiritual practice to constantly be looking for whomever or whatever is on the lowest end of the hierarchy and trusting that God is there.

Like so many words we use with some regularity, embodiment is a word that has many uses and meanings, but is hard to define. We often hear embodiment used to refer to something moving from an idea, or concept, to a kind of incarnated lived reality, like a professor who embodies the philosophy they teach about in their class. But the word is also so much more—it is a philosophical construct that came out of continental philosophy and an existential philosophy. These thinkers realized that in their philosophical abstraction they were missing something central to what it means to be human: the body. There are a few definitions that I like, a simple one is to say that embodiment is the way we are. How you sit, stand, walk, laugh, how you show up and move and live in space and time, as a body, tells a story about who you are, who you have been, and what it’s been like for you to be alive. Someone who knows me well knows that I have strange muscles in my hands that pop out when I flex my fingers because of playing violin for so long. The way my hands are, is about what I have been through as a body. Perhaps more academically, another definition of embodiment that I like comes from philosopher and psychologist Merleau-Ponty who identified embodiment as the lived experience of engagement of the body in the world. But regardless of definition, embodiment is important for a few reasons. First, highlighting this idea reminds us that we are not just thoughts, but also bodies. What happens in, through, and around our bodies shapes our sense of identity, and ability to be in the world with more or less ease. Second, it pushes back on the subtle gnostic ideas which permeate our western and faith based contexts. Especially when in Academia, in these highly cerebral environments, we often forget our bodies and are encouraged to do so, as if that is in some way superior. Thirdly, remembering we not only have bodies but are bodies, helps us move into more creativity, healing, connection, presence, and I would argue spirituality. For example, our bodies carry the memories of our psychological trauma. So, being in awareness of our physicality can be painful at first, but can help us see where we need to do some healing work.

AN INTERVIEW WITH DR. HILLARY MCBRIDE, RCC

W

Y

Mars’ Hill appreciates the opportunity to interview Dr. Hillary McBride, a clinical counsellor, teacher, podcast host, and graduate of TWU and UBC. Dr. McBride specializes in the topic of “embodiment,” and we thought that her empowering expertise would be an uplifting contribution to our otherwise weighty exploration of the topic of trauma.

What are some opportunities or resources that you would recommend to those on a journey towards embodiment?

First, the most bizarre and beautiful thing about the process of embodiment is that we already are bodies. You do not need to go somewhere else, pay someone money, hear someone else’s ideas, to be your body. You already are. The challenge is in the remembering, and the building of relationship with your physicality in such a way that feels compassionate, present, and safe. So to start, you could simply take a breath. And instead of taking your breath for granted, you could try to really notice it. To feel yourself breathing.

The meditation I like to do with this is to recall that YHWH (or the Hebrew name for God) is thought to be written as such so that it could not be spoken, but rather had to be breathed.

I’ve heard from several rabbis that it is for this reason that we can believe that it is with every breath that we take, that we are saying the name of God. I invite you to try that, now or later, to really notice your breath, and that as you breath (even without knowing it, even when breath is unconscious) you are saying God’s personal name.

After that, or with a bit more playfulness, I like to move. Moving to music, while playing music, while running, while playing sports, all of these are invitations to remember that we are not just a head, not just ideas, not just what we have been in the past. Free dance, or authentic movement (the way of moving that is not about how you imagine you are evaluated, or observed by others) can be particularly helpful. Putting on a song, and just moving—not in a way that you are trying to impress someone—can help us experience the goodness of our bodies in motion, and all the creativity, the spirituality, the sensuality, the immanence of it all.

Secondly, and no less importantly, embodiment as a social justice practice can not just be about remembering the bodies of the privileged, otherwise embodiment becomes confused with whiteness, or ableism, heterosexism, or wealth. Embodiment—I believe—has always been about us being connected both to ourselves, and to the goodness of creation. It is about remembering that if our body is good (as in original blessing— God spoke us into being and “it is good”), that it is not just our body, but that body too. If we see Jesus as not just a rabbi, but a political figure as well—a man who came to disrupt empire, oppression, and the divide between ‘us and them’, the hierarchy between Greek and Jew, Slave and Free—to follow the ways of Jesus is to see how the body is the site of oppression. To feel safe in the body, to know and experience the goodness of the body in the same ways as we celebrate and marvel at all creation, is not just for the privileged.

You are a host on the Liturgists Podcast, which addresses several issues with modern Evangelical culture—do you believe that embodiment is a unique struggle for those of us raised in the Evangelical church as it is today?

Although the incarnation—the belief that God became flesh and dwelled among us—is a central tenant of the Christian faith, purity culture, white supremacist, homophobic, and colonial ideologies (which are all stories which create hierarchies about which bodies are good and valuable, or sinful and in need of salvation) exist within Christian spaces and fundamentally communicate that there are good bodies and bad bodies. This perpetuates the idea that our bodies are bad, and that we need to get away from our bodies in order to be closer to God. While I believe these ideologies are not at the heart of the work of Jesus, the church has always been situated within a sociopolitical context and has been (often without always knowing it) a place that as much as we wish it could be, can not be extracted from the context within which it is planted. Consequently, many people who have been in evangelical communities have espoused these ideas, both harmful to themselves, others, and the teachings of Jesus, often without knowing it. The irony of this is that the subtle and not-so subtle oppression of the body in evangelical contexts has often been dismissed as being of less value than the proliferation of the gospel—a point which misses that the saving work of Jesus came through his life and death and resurrection as a body. It is contradictory to say that Jesus is the way, and that his death and resurrection matter, while also neglecting the nature of his embodiment—that he was not just an idea, but a human with flesh, bones, digestive organs, and cerebrospinal fluid. While people may be able to get this in an intellectual sense, the Christian dismissal and often war against the body (see an article I wrote published in Relevant called “why you shouldn’t hate your body, even if John Piper tells you to” in response to John Piper’s article and horrific statements that women with eating disorders should continue to hate their bodies—but for the right reason, that being that bodies are sinful) as being sinful has created levels of psychological distress in people severe enough to require therapeutic treatment. This ranges from purity culture discourse, misogynistic in nature, which sexually objectifies and devalues women by claiming that their typically developing bodies cause “men” to stumble into sexual impurity, all the way to the dominant visual portrayal of God through Christian history as white, and male—a tool of white supremacy and colonization to devalue BIPOC [black, indigenous, and people of colour] and women.

Embodiment has been a struggle for many in evangelicalism for these reasons—embodiment has been discouraged in the least, and at its worst it has been dangerous.

There is an international standard of keeping time in the record of history.

Important dates from centuries and millennia ago are placed along the historical timeline with abbreviations that indicate on which side of one of the most important events in history—the life of Jesus Christ—that the matter in question took place.

was going to be if I had never been victimized. On the other side, there is what my life is—and all that it will be now that I have been.

TWO PERSPECTIVES

ON TRAUMA AND VOCATION:

KELSEY MORRIS

Today, I work with young women who have experienced severe and enduring trauma. I study complex trauma and plan to pursue my graduate studies in the area of resilience and diagnostic The years leading up to the event that profiles of posttraumatic stress disorchanged the western record of time der. I interact with survivors like myself from Before Common Era (BCE) to both personally and professionally.

Common Era (CE), are actually count- And what’s more—I plan to do this for ed down instead of up, varying signifi- the rest of my life. cantly from what time-keeping usually dictates. Chronologically, this is some- From the anecdotal experience I have gathered, there appear to be two catwhat counterintuitive. egories of response to severe trauma.

But when we are talking about the If I have learned anything from studykind of events that change everything, ing trauma and getting up in its face on a regular basis, it is that every sinmaybe it is not counterintuitive at all. gle response to trauma is beautifulStrangely, trauma has been the time- ly rebellious—whatever it is. I respect keeper in my record of history. To me, each and every one. the trauma I experienced is the great divide: on one side of my trauma, there is what my life was—and everything it

Many individuals reckon with their experience of injustice by claiming back everything that they were, dreamed of, and believed in prior to the trauma. This is their rebellion—they refuse to let their abusers, parents, bullies, or rapists steal anything more from them.

There are many others like me for whom trauma changed everything.

For this reason, we have been accused of letting trauma win. We have been told not to let this experience steal anything more from us than it already has.

This is hard and worthwhile work. This is brave and healing. These people wage a beautiful and bloody war on that which tried to derail their destiny.

But truthfully, whatever my life was going to be before this, I do not want it. Whatever it was, the fire of trauma has changed it. Where the fire was once destructive, it now forges the armour of trauma-informed practice with young women. Where it was once painful, it is now purifying. Where the flames once separated me from the world on the other side, it now warms the aching bodies of a circle of women that brought me out of isolation.

I am not one of these people.

“ MY RESPONSE IS, TO SOME,

QUITE PUZZLING. TRAUMA SET MY ENTIRE WORLD ON FIRE—AND I EMBRACED IT.

In a strange way, the aftermath of my trauma has made my life richer. I think that it is making a long-term habit of it, actually. It is almost like what was intended to harm me has been thrown straight back in the Enemy’s face.

13

ANONYMOUS

I hardly recognize the face that stares back at me in the mirror.

I vaguely remember the old “me”: confident, involved, fearless, high-functioning, trusting, healthy, and level-headed. My life was full—full of love, hope, and joy. I now wear a mask. People tell me: “you look really great” and “you’re handling this really well.”

Thanks—but if you only saw the tears that keep me up until 2 a.m., the constant confusion, and the battle I endure every morning just to leave my bed, you would not be saying that. I wish this was a bad dream I could wake from. But just five months ago, life was normal.

Everything changed with the flick of a switch when somebody else’s poor decision opened up a black hole drawing many more into its crushing pull. I felt like I was walking on eggshells that eventually crumbled beneath me. I did not know who I was or what was happening. But now I can finally give a name to the crippling anxiety, self-esteem issues, nightmares, flashbacks, debilitating fear, false guilt, and extreme alertness that plagued me.

Its name is T-R-A-U-M-A. I met trauma a few times without knowing it. Little did I realize that after each meeting, it consumed me a bit at a time. Three months after our first encounter, I found myself sitting in a counsellor’s office for the first time. That is when I discovered I was experiencing PTSD. But, just five months ago, life was normal.

Anxiety comes out of nowhere, like a ghost in the night, crippling my entire body. I gasp for air, but feel like there is a 50 pound weight on my chest. I live in extreme alertness, paranoid of what could be, and prepared to fight this ghost when he comes. Unfortunately, he’s smarter than me, and he wins. Every. Single. Time. I’ve only gone a handful of sleeps without a nightmare, and have yet to go a day without a flashback. They can hit at any moment, and I can’t escape them. They’ve come during class, while at the grocery store, during practice, at a friend’s birthday, and even during a sermon at church. So I avoid the places I used to frequent, protecting myself from potential triggers. But there is no safe place. Flashbacks leave me feeling nauseous, disgusted, and in shock. But just five months ago, life was normal.

I thought things were my fault. I readily took blame for “causing” somebody else’s actions. I thought it would make things better.

I was wrong. I fall back into the cycle of false guilt far too often.

I try to numb the emotions, but they eventually come flooding through like water through a dam that gave way. I no longer recognize the person whose actions hurt me. I am grieving

their loss, the loss of the old them whom I still love, but I can’t fully grieve because they’re still alive, they’re just different and they’re fighting their own very real battles. But just five months ago, life was normal.

After meeting trauma, I did not know who to trust. I was skeptical about everybody and everything. But I have learned I can trust the Jesus who cries with me. He, too, was betrayed, rejected, ridiculed, and left to suffer. Trauma has helped me better understand the pain He endured—excruciating pain, much worse than mine. Each morning, I am reminded that the testing of my faith produces steadfastness. In experiencing trauma, I have found fertile soil that enables my faith to grow the deep roots needed to run this race with endurance, joy, and anticipation that one day I will come face to face with my Saviour who heals all pain. Despite the confusion I feel, as I am unsure of why it needs to be like this, all I can do is continue to cling to Him and trust His great faithfulness—that He will bring beauty from ashes in His good timing. But just five months ago, life was normal.

I urge you, be aware to whom you are saying: “you look really great” and “you are handling this really well.” It could be me. It could be any number of people experiencing trauma, also wearing a mask. One day, it may be you. Trust me, I never thought I would be here. It’s funny; everybody said that time would heal and give clarity. I like to pretend that it did and things are better, that my life is normal and I am thriving. But if I am completely honest, things are not better, I am not healed and I am not thriving—not yet. The only thing time has given me is a name.

Its name is T-R-A-U-M-A. I miss the old me; the level-headed, logical, and confident me. I have not fully accepted that something is wrong; I do not want to. After all, just five months ago, life was normal.

“ BUT

NOW I CAN FINALLY GIVE A NAME TO THE CRIPPLING ANXIETY, SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES, NIGHTMARES, FLASHBACKS, DEBILITATING FEAR, FALSE GUILT, AND EXTREME ALERTNESS. ITS NAME IS T-R-A-U-M-A.”

14

CARTER SAWATZKY “ . . . and that’s why I use Proactiv. Because there’s no way I want to let a bunch of zits get in my way!” said Justin Bieber in 2011. My first exposure to the idea of “proactive health” was through Proactiv commercials. Even then, Proactiv’s users typically utilized their skincare products in response to pesky pimple outbreaks as if it were called Reactiv.

Often, our understanding and approach towards mental health is similar: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Generally, we might only seek a counsellor in light of particularly strenuous circumstances or take a break from work as a reaction to stress. We must be aware of the reductive and reactive approach we have towards mental health issues. We have no modern understanding of “going to the gym” for our mental wellbeing. Instead, we tend to view mental health as an unpredictable variable floating somewhere up in the clouds that comes down every once in a while to bestow upon us existential stress and panic.

The question then becomes: “How can we maintain psychological fitness so as to limit the need for post-stress intervention?”

The Well—Trinity Western University’s on-campus tech-free relaxation space— has undergone a silent transformation. In its early stages, The Well was put forward as “an anti-anxiety space.”

The creation of The Well was a reaction to the staggering waitlist for counselling at the Wellness Centre and the increasing anxiety and depression diagnoses that they were meting out. The Well has always been a place for all people, regardless of the extent of their mental health problems. These days, though, The Well is changing up its languaging around the space: it is embracing a proactive style in regard to mental wellbeing. Though The Well will always have an aspect of reactivity at its core–as many students who have received counselling are referred to The Well—as a supplemental element of recovery—the aim is becoming more focused on preventative measures.

For me, The Well has become a gym of its own—a dedicated on-campus spot for inner upkeep and grounding. The Well is needed because it is one of the few places on campus that is counter-university: it is subversive towards our ideas of space—one does not need to text, work, or be busied in any way while in the room. The Well has always been about creating a uniquely calm atmosphere set apart on campus—but now it is challenging the reactive, pragmatic way of living that is the default for many of us.

The Well is a place to deliberately “practice pressing pause” even if the experience may be initially uncomfortable in a world of constant work and play. It is a space where one can reconnect with what is important for oneself by rejuvenating in quiet, reconnecting with God, or practicing mindful presence. This kind of “anything goes” approach to wellness is intentional. Leaving behind the attitude that one should be doing something productive is vital in moving towards a mindset that is okay with a non-academic moment in the day, and perhaps even reading a book that is not a textbook. If The Well continues onward with its progressive vision of mental health, there is no doubt that people will wake up to the practice of proactive mental healthcare.

Developing a Proactiv lifestyle to minimize dermatologist visits (counselling interventions) and DIY zit-popping will look different for each individual. Skincare fanatics and acne-prone folks know the routines like the back of their hand: careful face-washing at the beginning and end of the day, refraining from touching the face, drinking copious amounts of water, having a strategic eating plan, and getting an appropriate amount of sleep. Likewise, Proactiv mental health might look like gratitude in the morning and night, time spent doing literally nothing, walking a couple of laps around the track in between classes, practicing mindfulness despite its initial awkwardness, and maybe a journalling routine at The Well. Pay attention to what is shaping you.

This approach is not one of simple indulgence. Rather, it encourages students to pay attention to and check-in with themselves, minimizing the need for intervention.

ISHITA WILSON

Come, dear friend, the time is ripe for a walk. It has been too long since you last put one foot in front of the other without counting it simply as a means of transportation. Do not shut the door behind you; maybe some of the banshees that haunt your living space will see themselves out in your absence.

What banshees, you ask? The ringing deadlines, the buzzing social obligations, the wailing responsibilities—there is no end in sight. This manner of things plays an important role in transforming people into working and valuable members of society and there will never be an end to them. No period. No full stop; but instead of plowing ahead like a run-on sentence, which will most likely leave you breathless, you must carve out a semicolon for yourself and take a break.

Spend time in solitude. Spending time in solitude does not call for you to disappear amongst the trees for two years, though that method did give Henry David Thoreau much food for thought. During his time away, Thoreau came to the conclusion that “solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows.” It is quite possible to take a break without making a break for it.

In the active and intentional company of others, there is always pressure. Past actions set the precedent for future expectations. However, contra Hume, out in nature, it does not matter what you do, why you do it, or what you are wearing while doing it because no one is there to witness it but yourself. The actions you take while you are alone define your nature as a person.

Stay indoors too long and the air grows stale, along with your soul. In the same way you air out your room when it starts to smell funky, you must air out your soul. Instead of rushing from building to building, slow your stride and listen to the whisper of the trees, the hum of the wind, and the singing of the birds. It all sounds much better than the banshees you are hurrying back towards.

15

LIS BROWNING

We all know that student—the one who enjoys asking questions that make the class squirm in their seats. There is a smirk on their face as they gather themselves together and confidently raise their hand. Then they speak. They are the ones who ask questions like: “Professor, what are your thoughts on homosexuality and religion?” As if under a microscope, the idea that some people go against compulsory heterosexuality will be dissected and evaluated. The professor will undoubtedly answer the question, but to what extent? What is the professor’s background in this conversation? What expertise can they pull from to engage with a student’s curious mind on such a nuanced topic? Do they have personal and relevant experiences to draw on to sensitively talk about intense aspects of people’s lives?

I am living my life constantly aware of the tension that I hold in my body as a traditionally “unsacred” body in TWU’s traditionally “sacred” space.

Classrooms are inherently hierarchical—this cannot be ignored. Because of their place as educators and authority figures, many students listen to professors’ words with little criticism or analysis. To honestly interact with topics that deeply affect students, professors need to be held to a higher academic standard before they begin “hot topic” debates in their classes. To suggest that as a professor with PhD in a hyper specific religious field, they can automatically include queer theory in their classrooms, or talk about their opinion on the psychology behind queer identities, is proposterous. It does not allow for true academic discourse to be fostered in a space where there is an educator who is knowledgable about the meeting place between queer identities and subjects like religion, psychology, or literature. There are so many spaces where this diverse discourse with academic topics and queer identities can create amazing conversations, but this must be done in a responsible and effective way.

One way professors can show their students how dedicated they are to academic discourse is by bringing in people who are actually well-versed in the field of queer studies.

This may be someone who is an activist, researcher, or a body moving through life with experiences that can be drawn from for wisdom. They are out there, ready to educate and share their voices and experiences with people who are willing to listen. And from what I have seen, TWU students want to listen. The student body is ready to engage with topics so often pushed to the wayside in evangelical circles. But faculty and staff should recognize their place of privilege—and responsibility—in this school. These educators should work to bring in other voices, which can better serve their students’ academic journeys. We are an institution of higher learning, and our academic diversity should reflect that.

I am well versed in questions like “how do we love people we don’t agree with?” or “how does faith play into sexuality?” But questions like these—frequently asked in classes at TWU—miss an important aspect of academic discourse: research. Due to the fact that most are not trained or educated in queer theory, history, or theology, many TWU professors are not equipped to answer these questions. They are not able to answer these questions outside of religion, and even then it is one type of Christianity that they often draw on. With TWU’s growing population of students reflecting an increasingly globalized religious consciousness, professors answering questions about such important topIt may be shocking, but most TWU professors are not ics with purely evangelical answers is not going to cut it equipped to have this conversation. Discourse happening anymore. It is irresponsible for professors who know they in an academic space does not inherently make for aca- do not have a full understanding and background in these topics to encourage and facilitate debates about it. demic discourse.

But this is not a one-sided academic responsibility; students should also come into these discussions with curious minds and use critical analysis. I have had more interesting and compelling conversations with people who genuinely respect me and my humanity than I have with people who like to “play devil’s advocate.” My sexuality is not up for debate here. My gender expression is not to be deconstructed and psychoanalyzed for amusement and religious fetishization. This is not a social experiment I have taken on to deconstruct my faith for a classroom to watch.

“ TO

SUGGEST THAT BECAUSE A PROFESSOR HAS A PHD IN A HYPER-SPECIFIC RELIGIOUS STUDY, THEY AUTOMATICALLY CAN INCLUDE QUEER THEORY INTO THEIR CLASSROOMS, OR TALK ABOUT THEIR OPINION ON THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND QUEER IDENTITIES IS PROPOSTEROUS.”

16

MARS’ HILL: WHAT IS YOUR NAME, YEAR, AND MAJOR AT TWU?

MH: HOW DO YOU HOPE TO USE THESE SKILLS AFTER YOU GRADUATE?

REES MORGAN: My name is Rees Morgan, I’m in my third year, and I am majoring in Media and Communications with a minor in Biblical Studies.

RM: I really want to pursue a career in design. I can see myself working for a design firm in Vancouver and having a side wedding DJ hustle. My end goal is to be an art director in marketing and to be a light in the world of consumerism.

MH: SO YOU’RE A GRAPHIC DESIGNER, PHOTOGRAPHER, AND DJ––WHICH OF THESE ART FORMS ARE YOU MOST FOCUSED ON AT THE MOMENT? RM: I think I’m focused on each one in different ways. I see photography as a personal creative outlet, so I try and keep that pure and not involve money or follow trends. DJing, however, is kind of the opposite and less of a personally fulfilling artform and more of a social art. There is an energy you get back from a crowd that is dancing to music you are playing, and so I tend to direct my DJing towards pleasing the masses instead of just myself. Graphic design is in the middle. It’s the focus of my professional career, so there is definitely an aspect of money involved but I also find that the work I do in design is very creatively fulfilling.

MH: WHAT IS THE BIGGEST PROJECT YOU ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON? RM: My biggest project right now is definitely working for Mars’ Hill. It’s been so creatively fulfilling to work with a team and have total freedom to run with my ideas. It is so nice to put out something I’m proud of and can really pour into every two weeks instead of something every day that I’m not. Other than that I’ve been working with some musicians and doing everything from album art to merch design. I also recently finished a dream project by art directing a sermon series, called “Praying the Psalms” for Westside Church in Vancouver.

MH: HOW DID THAT OPPORTUNITY COME ABOUT? RM: I have been attending and serving at Westside for quite a while now, and I have been able to build a close relationship with the team. They saw some of the work I post on Instagram and my website and reached out!

MH: HOW HAS TWU BEEN AS A PLACE FOR YOU TO EXPRESS AND UTILISE YOUR ARTISTIC ABILITIES? RM: TWU’s student leadership positions have been invaluable to my career as a designer, and I am so grateful for the opportunities to do real work for actual clients, instead of just school work. However, TWU does tend to overwork people, and I have definitely felt used for my talents in the past. I’ve been learning how to set boundaries and really choose what open doors I walk through, which has been so freeing.

MH: YOU MENTIONED TRYING TO BALANCE YOUR ART AS A PERSONAL OUTLET AND A PROFESSIONAL ONE––WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CREATIVE THING YOU HAVE DONE FOR YOURSELF RECENTLY? RM: Over the last couple years I’ve gotten into shooting film, and one of my favourite things in the world to do is go downtown for street photography. That’s where I grew up and learnt how to use a camera so it really feels like home.

17

“ HAVING

YOUNGER ATHLETES ASK ME FOR PICTURES AND AUTOGRAPHS AFTER THE GAME HAS BEEN A VERY HUMBLING EXPERIENCE AS I REMEMBER DOING THE SAME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.”

MARS’ HILL: HOW DID YOUR LOVE FOR VOLLEYBALL DEVELOP? COLTON LOEWEN: Volleyball felt like any other sport to me. I played it just like I played soccer, basketball, and basically any other sport my parents were willing to drive me to. My love for volleyball above the other sports I played correlated with my development as a volleyball player. As the game around me proceeded to get more competitive, it became far more enjoyable while my high school and club teams were becoming very successful.

MH: WHAT HAS BEEN THE BIGGEST ADJUSTMENT FROM HIGH SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL TO USPORTS? CL: The commitment level for a university level sports team is intense. Although I was expecting the level of volleyball to be what I got when I transitioned to USPORTS, I didn’t think that I would be spending this much time watching video, practicing, and working out. Regardless, I still love this team, the game we play, and the common goals that we are striving towards.

MH: TELL US ABOUT THE STARTING ROLE YOU HAVE STEPPED INTO THIS SEASON. HAS IT BEEN EVERYTHING THAT YOU EXPECTED? CL: After spending two years on the bench, finally getting the chance at a starting role in my third year has been an amazing experience. Having younger athletes ask me for pictures and autographs after the game has been a very humbling experience as I remember doing the same when I was younger. It is so cool having the next generation of volleyball players look up to me, so I am very grateful for that opportunity. Sitting on the bench for consecutive seasons can get quite discouraging, so it’s nice to see my hard work paying off this season. The best part about starting has definitely been the fact that I don’t have to stand at the end of the bench for each game, followed by getting to see my introduction video twice a week on the big screen. All in all, this season has been amazing.

MH: IF YOU COULD BE ONE CHARACTER FROM STAR WARS WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? CL: I hate to say it, but I wish I would choose to be the nanny droid that protects Baby Yoda throughout the first season of The Mandalorian.

18

LUCY CHUANG As the “ring by spring” season is officially upon us and Valentine’s Day is literally in a few days, you find yourself, in the wise words of Reverend James Ellis III, “still single as a pringle.” You are sad because the weather still kinda sucks and The Well is closed every time you try to get a massage. Honey, it is time to move on and get yourself ready for that midterm season. Here are some tips to get over that guy you had chemistry with (or any class, for that matter) who will probably never even know you sat behind him: 1. Don’t text him.

AMARIS HENRY

You are better at texting than he is. You respond to people’s messages within 10 minutes, but it takes him about 12 hours to respond to your “how you doing” message. Girl, you could finish an entire book during that time.

2. Delete social media.

Tell your friends that you are taking a philosophy class online that requires a social media break. You know you will probably end up stalking him on the internet. Might as well just delete social media and download the “Flora” app to help you focus on studying—and save the environment!

3. Drink water.

Stay hydrated because you might cry when you find out he is sitting next to a girl in your next chemistry class even though two-thirds of the class is female.

And you just had a pop quiz that you probably failed. Your skin will thank you for all the water.

4. Read more books.

Stop reading cheesy novels like All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Get some culture and read 1984 or Pride and Prejudice. You will find yourself questioning everything in your life and taking 15 minutes to have an existential crisis or two, and then you will realize you have more problems to get over than a boy. And don’t forget that there is a project due next Friday.

5. Move to Alaska.

You tried. The boy is still everywhere. You think God is calling you to come out of your comfort zone and that does not mean that you should start going to his church. It is time for you to pack your backpack and go somewhere far away. It could be the Northwest Building or the Back 40 on campus. But Alaska is the number one choice because the winter lasts longer, so you have more time to prepare for “ring by spring.” Just remember to come back for your midterm. It’s right after spring reading break.

MICAH MORGAN Current student Markus Chintum, who lives in residence at Trinity Western University, has decided to leave his clothes sitting out in the rain instead of putting them in one of the on-campus dryers.

“It really is more efficient,” Chintum reports. “They never fail to come out of the dryer wet. Now, instead of paying to have them stay damp, I’ve decided to let the rain do that for free.”

merchandise purchases combined.” Martin used to go to the bank and get enough quarters and loonies to buy a small condo, especially during the four-fifths of the school year that the on-campus change machines are unstocked. “Now,” she reports, “I can just save myself the trip by hanging my clothes in the rain, which will keep them damp just as long as the on campus dryers.”

Sources confirm that despite most of the dryers being only 80 years old, they frequently leave clothes no more dry than when they were put in. This has led to many students spending copious amounts of money, in increments of $1.25, at hour and a half intervals. “The coins also are a major inconvenience,” says third year Sasha Martin, who has also recently adopted the practice of leaving clothes in the rain. “Literally every type of transaction on campus can be paid with credit or debit cards . . . except for the one which happens more often than tuition payments, book purchases, and

As other students begin to adopt the practice, benefits continue to manifest. “I noticed that back when I paid for the dryers to leave my clothes wet, it also would rip holes in them,” seventh year Abram Watson reports. “But now that I’m keeping my clothes wet for free, this drawback is no longer present.” At press time, it was confirmed that although a few students wanted to use the on-campus dryers for the nostalgia, nearly all of the resident population had taken to hanging their clothing in the rain, free and unfettered.

MAL SIEMENS

TWO PERSPECTIVES

AND VOCATION:

ON TRAUMA

“What’s your major?” This is often one of the first questions asked when we meet a new classmate or peer at Trinity Western University (TWU). This has been a turbulent question for me, since my major has changed quite a few times over the years. But now, I am studying to be a teacher.

For many TWU education students, the path to becoming a teacher is fairly linear. Mine has been hindered by a lot of obstacles, and I often think of this analogy: rocks breaking the surface of a chaotic river, with me in a white-water raft hurtling towards them. I have had to manoeuvre around these dangerous obstacles without a guide, and sometimes with my fair share of injury.

As a child in daycare, I became aware my preferred choice of future husband was, well, a husband. In the safety of childhood play, I made realizations about myself that were unfiltered and unhindered by other social scripts for a time.

Unfortunately, only a few years later, I went through experiences that shook the foundation of my self-perception. I experienced sexual abuse. I defended the abusers and put the weight of shame, disgust, and brokenness on to the shoulders of a five, six, seven, and then eight-year-old boy. And I only realized as an emerging adult that this was horrific, and that I did not deserve the framework of shame constructed by my family, church, society, and even, at times, myself.

Growing up, I often heard stereotypes about gay men as abusers and pedophiles. My family was horrifically unsafe, and everywhere I went, social scripts placed gay men as criminals who preyed on the vulnerable. They were referred to as butt-pirates, pedophiles, and diseased. Indeed, they were the reason that God was going to come back and wipe the Earth.

As someone who was hiding both his queerness and experience of abuse, I continued to add weight onto my already heavy shoulders. I lived a splintered and confused life. My desire for working in human services and teaching was sidelined by the identity that was constructed for me. That is, the false identity of the perfect Christian boy who had overcome his past and was unashamed of sharing how Jesus meant to save everyone from eternal doom.

I sometimes “blame” the Holy Spirit for bringing me out of that darkness and revealing the love of God to my desiccated spirit. As the Spirit challenged me to dig into what I believed and would constantly pry at my “safe” notions, I became aware that my frameworks were slowly killing me. So, in my second year at TWU, I surrendered. I said, “God, I give you my whole identity. Every part of my being, to guide and form and challenge and revive and make new.”

MICAH BRON

From there, I made some big changes. I switched into the education program—the program for which I initially applied. I started reading my Bible daily and without shame, and I found Jesus illuminated in a new light. God really did renew, revive, and reform my framework, and eventually I accepted myself as someone who was gay or queer. But I still struggled to accept my abuse. It took me another few years. And finally, when I did, it broke me.

But like my queerness, and like my ADHD, and like my Christian identity, my abuse is but a small part in the story of my life. It sucks that it has impacted me so much. It sucks that the smallest triggers leave me unable to sleep at night for weeks. It sucks that I accidentally step on my cats’ tail and spiral into a panic attack dwelling on how evil of a person I am.

But then a voice brings me a glass of water and tells me I am loved. The Spirit does not offer advice or condemnation, but puts a gentle hand on my shoulder and offers soothing.

So here I am now, fully aware of the truth that the intersecting parts that I hid and have felt ashamed of, are actually going to be things that make me the best educator I can be.

They are things that help me to pursue my professional goals and create positive change in my workplaces or spheres of influence. Even at TWU, these aspects of my identity have allowed me to support others and be Christ-like in a way that is much more genuine than the “good Christian boy” persona I carried for years. I am excited that as a teacher, I can be a positive force to protect and nurture the precious spirits and minds of those I work with. I know now I do not need to fear myself, but that my experiences have uniquely and beautifully equipped me.

CAREER AND GRADUATE SCHOOL FAIR TUESDAY, MARCH 3, 2020 11:30 AM â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:30 PM RSC Atrium and Norma Marion Alloway Library & Learning Commons

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