Mars Hill Newspaper Vol 20 Issue 7

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January 27, 2016

THE

TEAM

TREVOR MCMAHAN managing editor

LUCAS KOEHN visual editor

Devil dog and demolition One of my favourite assignments from my Grade 10 Humanities class was creating a collage that represented the thematic elements of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. There is just something about collaging that I find highly satisfying—the glossy magazine clippings, the lack of white space, the eclectic blend of colours and images. I can spend hours flipping through magazines, first ripping out the pictures, then carefully cutting around the perimeters, and finally practicing mock arrangements before gluing everything down. The Tempest collage was shaping up beautifully.

I laid everything out exactly where it should be on my 8.5x11 sheet. It was perfect up until my devil of a dog leapt onto my workspace.

This is the dog that steals my clean underwear and hides it between couch cushions. The kind of dog that eats used Kleenexes whole off of side tables. The dog that tips over my garbage can and eats Ziploc bags only to throw them up on my carpet. This dog eats his own excrement. He is a

complicated little thing – nimble as a cat but persistent as a warthog.

And he ruined my collage.

Fighting the urge to throttle him and scream for justice, I assessed the damage. While I still had all the pieces for my collage, they were scattered across the low table where I was working and onto the floor near my feet. Mostly because my dog is very hard to catch, and therefore throttle, I decided to set to work collecting the pieces and attempting to reconstruct what I had previously thought to be perfection.

I was reminded of this experience when mulling over the idea of “rebuilding,” a theme we have chosen to tackle in our first issue of the new semester.

Although I had previously thought I had constructed the ultimate collage, I did not allow myself the opportunity to consider that something better could emerge from a second try.

One of my favourite TV shows, Parenthood, featured a poignant song, “The Shape of Us,” by Ian Britt, in one of its earlier episodes.

Britt’s lyrics ring true when he sings, “we have all the strength we need in the shape of us.” Similar to reconstructing a collage or to rebuilding in general, more often than not, we already have all the pieces we need.

EDITORIAL POLICY

CONTRIBUTORS

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DAVID PUNNAMMANNIL

DARBY ARENS

LARISSA TENORIO

HEIDI RENNERT

photo editor

layout editor

chief copy editor

web editor

SIDSEL RICHMOND

MATT RUBULIAK

illustration editor

advertising & finance manager

MARS’ HILL

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of Trinity Western University, floated with funds raised by the Student Association. Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and relevant student publication, reflecting and challenging the TWU community, while intentionally addressing local, national and international issues.

MISSION TO MARS

The mission of Mars’ Hill, as the official student newspaper of Trinity Western University, is to inform and entertain its readers, cultivate awareness of issues concerning the TWU community and provide a forum for purposeful, constructive discussion among its members in accordance with the Community Covenant, Statement of Faith, and Core Values of the University.

STUDENT MEDIA ADVISOR Loranne Brown

SPECIAL THANKS

mackenzie

cameron

Mars’ Hill encourages submissions and letters to the Editor. Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit submissions for style, brevity and compatibility with the Mission, Statement of Faith, the Community Community Covenant, and the Core Values of the University.

Anonymous authorship of any material may be granted at the discretion of the Editor-in-Chief.

Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill belong to the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, Trinity Western University, its officials or its Student Association.

The necessary pieces have more to do with character and relationship than they do with physical materials. Rebuilding requires an honest evaluation of what was working and what wasn’t before the moment of destruction. It provides an opportunity to re-examine the foundations on which we built the prior structure. Take friendship, for example. Friendship often arises from similarities or shared experiences, both of which are solid and sustainable foundations.

However, when friendship arises from insecurity or manipulation, the foundation is not likely to survive a demolition.

Although this is only the beginning of the semester, for many of us, it is the beginning of our last semester. We will soon be faced with the prospect of rebuilding our sense of normal in new settings and with new people. Thankfully, we have “all the strength we need in the shape of us.” We’ve been broken down, re-shaped, and solidified by the bonds we have forged in this place.

We’ve been able to re-evaluate our sense of self and values in a place that fosters a sense of curiosity and appreciation for the people of the world. Let the rebuilding begin.

Trent DeJong Nicholas Elbers Kirsten McAllister Sam Rosenau Veronica Hargrave Shelby Dumoulin Mackenzie Johnson Rena Iwasaki Joanne Thibault Sarah Robertshaw Mayo Santos

Kat Grabowski for the team photos

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McBigandNasty” - Theodore Fletcher

7600 Glover Rd, Langley, BC, V2Y 1Y1 604-513-2109 marshill@gmail.com www.marshillonline.com This issue brought to you by Darby’s dibs.

January 27, 2016

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MADELINE GALLARD

In conversation with Walter Brynjolfson

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Walter Brynjolfson, who graduated from Trinity Western University in 2014 with a Bachelor’s in Business Administration (Hons.) and a Minor in Philosophy, is currently studying for a Masters of Arts in Peace Studies at Bethlehem Bible College in Bethlehem, Palestine.* Mars’ Hill interviewed Brynjolfson by email to get his perspective on his program, the ongoing struggle of the Palestinian people, and his ‘Peace Parcels’, a project that turns tear gas canisters into ornaments.

What led you to Bethlehem to pursue your Master’s in Peace Studies? Did your experiences as a Trinity alum influence this decision? If so, how?

WR: I’m the product of all my experiences, but my days as an undergrad student were by far the most formative. I can think of a couple specific events at TWU that paved the way. I remember back in October 2013 the director of Bethlehem Bible College spoke in Chapel. His message about Christians in Palestine really had an impact on me. The next year I joined the Global Projects trip to Israel and Palestine where I spent a month in Bethlehem. But perhaps most influential

was the way the general discourse at TWU, especially in my philosophy classes, fostered a restless desire for justice.

An MA in Peace Studies was right up my alley. It trains you to develop a culture of peace at every level, from within yourself, all the way up to the international level.

Not to mention, since this program is only in its first year, it’s extremely affordable. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

Can you talk about the feelings that led you to create your ‘Peace Parcels?’

WR: I developed the idea of creating Peace Parcels about a year ago.

It was actually a big reason why I wanted to come to Bethlehem in the first place. It fit very well with my personal mission: To use entrepreneurship to develop empathy.

We often hear of the terrible violence perpetrated against Israelis, but we barely know anything about the widespread suffering Palestinians have endured.

For example, growing up Evan-

gelical, I didn’t even know there were Christians in Palestine (the majority of whom have fled to other countries).

Or that Palestinians still constitute the biggest refugee population in the world. Or even little things like the fact that there’s a giant 24foot concrete wall going through Bethlehem that has cut many Christian Palestinians off from their olive groves and grazing land. So I decided to start Peace Parcels as a way to share

their stories.

When I first thought of starting an online store like this a year ago, my idea was to choose a handful of local olive wood carvers and share their stories while also trying to sell their products. The collapse of the economy in the West Bank has been caused predominantly by the Israeli walls, checkpoints, and restriction of trade and movement.

Many

Christians are driven to emigrate in order to feed their families.

This was the least I could do to support and encourage them, because every Palestinian who lives here is non-violently resisting simply by choosing to stay. So I’ll be selling olive wood nativity sets soon.

Not long after I moved into Bethlehem, I had to deal with incessant gusts of tear gas flowing onto the Bethlehem Bible College campus. I wanted to find a constructive way to retaliate so I thought of something creative I could do with the dozens of tear gas canisters lying around. It wasn’t a brand new idea; Palestinians have been doing similar things with Israeli weapons of oppression for decades. I just innovated the idea and really pushed the Christmas theme, turning the canisters into pretty tree ornaments, writing a sardonic product description, and uploading it to Etsy.

Most of the reaction has been highly positive. I’ve sold over 60 canisters on the Etsy store to

8 different countries and the story has been shared over 750,000 times. I think people really appreciate powerful symbolism like this and they are amazed and shocked to see the amount of suffering and political unrest that is happening nowadays in Bethlehem, the birthplace of the Prince of Peace.

What would you tell TWU students who might have similar goals in terms of peace?

WR: Having a posture of empathy in your heart is easily one of the most important traits of a peace builder—or a Christian, for that matter. It not only leads to solving the world’s problems, but also to being more like Jesus and finding a sense of inner fulfilment and joy in life. After all, our God is a God of empathy.

There are many ways to develop empathy, but the best way is to just listen. Taking a hard-lined stance only serves to shut down the possibility of collaboration to stop injustices. As Christians, we should be pro-justice and try to understand other perspectives. *Under the Oslo Accords in the 1990s, Bethlehem was one of the urban centers in the West Bank handed over to Palestinian Civil and Military control. People who live in Bethlehem carry Palestinian passports, so Bethlehem, by all international standards, is in Palestine.

The big one

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Like anyone attending this fine university, I once sat through that one earth science lecture that prophesied the apocalyptic hellscape of the West Coast once the “Big One” hits. I listened with equal horror and desire to retain as little information as possible.

Because it’s terrifying. I am also understandably on edge because in the late evening on December 29th 2015, the West Coast was hit with a 4.8 magnitude earthquake that could be felt even in Seattle.

It is easy to view natural disasters as things that happen elsewhere, events that are horrific in damage and scope, but somehow not tangible for us in our very stable corner of the world. However, it is not an ‘if ’ but ‘when’ situation for a larger earthquake to hit our coast, and it will likely be soon followed by a tsunami.

Naturally, something like the 4.8 earthquake hitting so close to home puts things in perspective.

Suddenly, the stable nature of the environment we live in is challenged. We become actively aware that the normalcy of our lives can be torn away in an event that cannot be prevented. We start preparing by grabbing emergency kits and flooding 9-1-1 with calls about whether that indeed was an

earthquake.

As we prepare for future events that will impact us personally, we should become more sympathetic and aware of similar events that are occurring now to the countries around us. 2015 saw an increase in international natural disasters, especially in Asia. 150 major disasters affected millions of people all over the globe, including the magnitude 7.8 earthquake in Nepal last April, some of the worst flooding India has seen in a hundred years and then the severe heatwave soon after, and the major drought seen late in the year in Ethiopia which affected 8.2 million people. The world has become a global village, and natural disasters should have an impact on everyone. They

are inevitable, but they should not simply be an endnote on the nightly news lineup. As the B.C. government ramps up earthquake preparedness programs and starts spending the big bucks on bolting Premier Christy Clark’s desk to her office floor in Victoria, we should consider this an opportunity to remind British Columbians that people have already experienced and are experiencing these disasters. And after buying that emergency kit, spending an extra $10 or $20 to international disaster relief agencies will seem like a natural decision to make especially since we as a province may need that international help at some point in the future.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McDaddy” - JR Parker

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January 27, 2016

Mercy ships transforms TWU student

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Marlayna Van Hoepen is a perfect example of not letting fear stand in her way. In her last year of high school, Van Hoepen found herself attracted to the possibility of deferring university studies to do something quite adventurous.

“I had this idea to be a volunteer for Mercy Ships on their hospital ship in Africa. Good friends had told me about their experiences, and I also read a book about it.

But I wasn’t sure that my parents would go for it, or that I could raise the money needed to pay for my travel and room and board while on the ship.”

To Van Hoepen’s surprise, her Dad actually brought up the idea of serving with Mercy Ships and encouraged her to apply and pray for the needed financial

support. Being accepted onto a crew in Madagascar, Van Hoepen was ecstatic about her role with the organization. “I really enjoyed my role in the galley as the team leader for the cold side, where we prepared the salads and fresh foods for the over 1000 meals a day served on the ship.”

The best part for Van Hoepen was working alongside the day crew from the local community, whom Mercy Ships hired to be extra helping hands. “Working with people who lived in Tamatave, the port city we were in, really added to my experience.

I got to know so much about their community and learned about the culture through their eyes and

heart. I also had great insider recommendations for things to do, and where to go.”

Van Hoepen especially loved connecting with the medical mission of Mercy Ships through the time she spent with the hospital patients. “It was great to spend time on the wards with the patients, including the children. I was amazed at how much joy there was, even though everyone was recovering from surgery. Their joy filled my heart too.”

Another remarkable thing about being a Mercy Ships volunteer was the community life Van Hoepen experienced. “It is difficult to pinpoint one thing, but the community welcomed me so fully from the get go. It was a combination of who I met (people from all over the world), the place I was in (this incredible hospital ship in Madagascar), and the people

I worked with, all devoted to helping.”

Van Hoepen was also grateful to discover the faith-based nature of community life on the Africa Mercy. “We gathered as a community three times a week, which always included worship. I was pleasantly pushed out of my shell, going from what I was taught to believe, to affirming what I do

believe. I also broke my own clichés of what a Christian person looks like, learning that no matter what a person looks or acts like, they can be spreading God’s word.”

Before Van Hoepen departed the Africa Mercy she had one final experience that filled her with awe. “I got to watch a surgery; a large goiter that had plagued this man for years was removed. Seeing a life healed and

made better before my eyes was unbelievable. It made me so glad that I did not let the fear factor, or the money I had to spend, hold me back.”

When Van Hoepen returned home to take up studies at TWU, she found herself nudged in a different direction, thanks to everything she experienced as a Mercy Ships volunteer. “Africa stole my heart. My life feels fuller with purpose, and more meaning.

Because I am definitely going back I am taking International Development Cultural Change, instead of Business. Then I can go on to work with an NGO and hopefully Mercy Ships again.”

And from her heart, here is what Van Hoepen says to people who ask about her Mercy Ships experience: “Everything you will experience as a volunteer is so worth the effort. It is so life-changing and worthwhile. I recommend it to everyone and anyone. Don’t let fear stop you—do it anyway!”

Read Van Hoepen’s blog about her Mercy Ships Experience, 98 Days of Adventures at http://98daysofadventures. blogspot.ca For more information about Mercy Ships, please visit www. mercyships.ca

What the “DocHawk” controversy implies for TWU

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Dr. Larycia Hawkins, a researcher, author, and professor at Wheaton College, has been placed on administrative leave in response to her Facebook comments pledging solidarity with her “Muslim brothers and sisters” on the claim that “we worship the same god.” Hawkins’s Facebook comments are derived from an understanding that both Islamic and Christian religions share a common ancestor in Abraham. Furthermore, Hawkins wore a hijab to symbolize her solidarity.

In response, provost Stanton Jones dismissed Hawkins’s claims as a misunderstanding of the triune God and Christ’s bodily resurrection (which Muslims do not recognize). These events pose substantial questions to students, faculty, and staff in any institution who comprise the Council of Christian Colleges and Universities (CCCU.) Since Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump has suggested “banning and deporting Muslims” in conjunction with the recent fight against ISIS, many Muslims have faced

persecution from North Americans. Dr. Hawkins’s comments and symbolic gesture of solidarity, although controversial, extend solace to these persecuted Muslims. Stanton Jones’s remarks are confusing, because he fails to recognize Hawkins’s reconciliatory motives and instead labels her a blasphemer over personal Facebook comments and not over something she has purported in class or publications.

Similar to Trinity Western University, faculty and staff of Wheaton College are required to sign an agreement for a “statement of faith.” TWU’s Dr. Robynne Healey, Professor of History and Chair of TWU Senate, explains that, “in the case of TWU, faculty have the opportunity to add qualifications on such statement.”

Stanton Jones has challenged Dr. Hawkins’s tenure and placed her on administrative leave on the basis of a conflict with Wheaton’s Statement of Faith. Several questions render attention from other CCCU institutions. Does the dogmatic role of a Christian institution trump that of social justice and advocacy? What is the role of academic freedom at an institution with an overall statement of faith? Are theological disputes adequate grounds for challenging a tenure? President Bob Kuhn, when asked about the implications of Wheaton College’s

current dispute for TWU students, identifies that “there is too much unknown about Dr. Hawkins’s case to form a judgement.” He continues, “Our identity/mission are the reason we exist; it transcends our individual and interest-based membership. Any university president, including myself, would maintain that academic freedom does not trump a university’s identity/mission.” Dr. Myron Penner, TWU’s Dean of Humanities and Social Sciences and Director of the AnabaptistMennonite Centre for Faith and Learning, further notes “as a Mennonite, social justice is part of my dogma—my religion.”

From a typical “in the world, not of the world” argument of faith, Dr. Hawkins’s actions appear more controversial than Stanton Jones’s. When interviewed about the controversy, TWU’s Dr. Paul Rowe, researcher and professor in both Political and International Studies, states, “It’s more effective to say, no matter what your perception of God is, we defend the right of all people to perceive who God is. That is the basis on which we should advocate for the just treatment of Muslims in society; advocacy should not be based on a fictitious synthesis between Islam and Christianity.”

Another significant question arises: “What is the role of

academic freedom at an institution with an overall statement of faith?” Ideally, academic freedom and faith can live peacefully in the same camp. However, when private funders, who may hold a different perspective of faith, disagree with faculty, who takes precedence? This suggests the position of Christian colleges to be mercenary yet the constituency, to which community members of a Christian College are responsible, is naturally narrower than that of a public institution.

The issue at Wheaton may not actually be as concerned with the tension between academic freedom and identity. Penner, in addition to Rowe and Healey, agrees that “in some cases” theological disputes may be grounds for challenging tenure. In order to hold a tenured position, as Dr. Larycia Hawkins does, a member of faculty has to submit an extremely detailed proposal, including publication and research references. Tenure is essentially akin to membership.

What is discombobulating about Hawkins’s situation is that she has not only submitted to her statement of faith in responding to allegations, but, furthermore, provost Stanton Jones—a member of administration—is challenging Hawkins’s tenure. Perhaps Wheaton College’s case would be more redeeming if Hawkins’s

tenure was challenged by fellow faculty, but that is not the case.

It is very tempting to villainize Wheaton College’s administration, and any Christian college’s administration, in light of Dr. Hawkins’s leave. However, generalizing the issues of Wheaton College as representative of all members of the CCCU would be a mistake. Dr. Healey notes, “There does seem to be some tension on campus over academic freedom; TWU Senate hopes to address this issue.” President Kuhn remarks, “It is my hope and prayer that if and when issues of academic freedom arise, all parties will see it as an opportunity for dialogue to strengthen our community not give cause or ammunition to those who would weaken or destroy it.” Academic freedom aside, Dr. Rowe states, “As a professor who interacts a great deal with Muslims, ultimately what I would like students to get from what Hawkins has done is empathy and grace for our Muslim neighbours—that does not mean you have to agree with them. If you don’t have that, you don’t have any basis for freedom of religion at all.” If Wheaton College demonstrates anything for members of TWU, it is that exclusivity is not a solution.

Photo Credit: Stacey Wescott/Chicago Tribune

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McArsenal” (he says from behind a closed door) - Kyle Born

January 27, 2016

Do good-er

Farewell to TWU’s Scott Campbell

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In 2011, Trinity Western University’s alumni relations became its own separate entity with its own leadership. It became the Trinity Western University Alumni Association—for alumni, by alumni. At the head of the newborn organization was Scott Campbell, Vice President of Alumni and Community Engagement and Executive Director of the TWU Alumni Association.

“I’m a ’99 TWU alumnus, who married Margaret (Ingvoldstad)—a ’98 alumna. I have three wonderful children and 35 years of experience in storytelling!” It was with these words that Scott Campbell introduced himself in an interview with the Trinity Western Magazine four years ago.

Four years later, Scott and I are sitting in a noisy corner at Lelem’ in Fort Langley on a Friday afternoon. He has just walked over from installing a new kitchen sink in his home down the street and is sporting a toque and his TWU sweatshirt that he later tells me has been with him since 1995.

At first, it’s quite the contrast to the consistently dapper Scott I am used to seeing as a student worker at the Alumni Association, but as he sits across from me I instantly recognize the smile and easy manner.

We start talking, and he tells me about the work he was involved in for the past four years in his dual role as the bridge between alumni and university interests.

“I think there was some sense that I had some experience in building something,” said Campbell. “So the vision for me over the last four years has been to really establish what the new association is.”

Over the last four years, the Alumni Association became an avenue through which the fruits of Trinity Western’s mission are

showcased. It has grown from a one-man-mission to a team of 24 individuals, its own distinct brand, several initiatives for current students and alumni, and a facilitator of communication among students, alumni, and the university.

The Trinity Western community is one of the most valuable aspects of the university, and the experience doesn’t have to end at graduation. In fact, the Alumni Association views it as only the beginning.

“The student experience is only a four or five year process,” said Campbell. “The aim is for

themselves as alumni.”

During Campbell’s time at the Alumni Association, feedback from students and alumni have been valued in an effort to propel the association’s mission of creating “a vibrant community of engaged alumni impacting the life of the University.” Campbell’s job has been to bring everyone together in order for this to happen.

Somewhere along our conversation, Scott’s pulled pork sandwich arrives, and he pinches his sleeves up and digs in.

“Back in the fall, I got the sense that maybe my time at Trinity was coming to an end,”

students to finish at Trinity and enter the alumni community, which will be their Trinity community for life.”

By organizing events for students, like candy day, Backpack-to-Briefcase, and senior retreats, the Alumni Association seeks to invite students to participate in the conversation of what the alumni community can look like.

“All students are alumni after they’ve done 15 credits or more,” said Campbell. “So we want everyone who has done 15 credits or more to begin thinking of

said Campbell around a mouthful. “I was a bit surprised, because I wasn’t looking for a change, just something started niggling in my belly. Someone pointed out an opening at MCC, the Mennonite Central Committee, and I thought, ‘I’ll start a conversation. Nothing’s going to happen out of it; there are lots of reasons why it shouldn’t work.’ And then it all started falling into place.”

Campbell’s new role with the MCC will be similar to his role at Trinity Western as Vice President of Alumni and Community Engagement. As Advancement

Director for the MCC, Campbell will oversee constituency engagement, fundraising, communications, and marketing as they rebuild their brand and message.

“Before I knew it I was at a place where I had to make a decision,” said Campbell. “And the beautiful thing is that either decision was a good decision.”

While some might be fazed when presented with two good options, Campbell decided to take it in stride and step out in faith.

“I think as believers we can over-spiritualize things,” said Campbell. “I think if you’ve submitted your life to Christ and continue to orient your heart, mind, and spirit in that direction, you start making decisions that should be in line with how the Spirit is working.”

Instead of worrying about missing an opportunity here or there, Campbell took the chance to do what excited him.

“At the end of the day I had a good friend ask me ‘which one excites you more?’ and I said, ‘MCC’,” said Campbell. “Because, I’m a builder. I like to build things, and to make them better.

Margaret and I talk about ‘doing gooder’. I like to ‘do gooder’.”

Like all great builders, Campbell knows the value of every team member, great or small. Every morning he walks into the office greeting everyone—President Kuhn, or myself, a student worker—by name and with a genuine Scott smile. Wherever he goes, Scott Campbell is sure to continue embodying Trinity Western’s spirit of community and extending its influence.

Trinity Western has greatly benefitted from what Campbell has built at TWU, and though we will be regretting his departure, his excitement for the future is contagious.

“I leave feeling really confident, really proud in the right sense, feeling like we’ve got everything in place,” said Campbell. “I’m excited for the next thing.”

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “Oh! The MacTasty” - Adejare Akincunde

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January 27, 2016

CAM THIESSEN

Closet christian

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I am a non-confrontational person by nature, which some days makes being a Christian really hard. Nobody said it would be easy; in fact, the Bible says the exact opposite. I know we are called to be bold in our faith and share the good news, but sometimes I find myself truly dumbfounded by the things said or done in the name of Christianity.

Sometimes the things that come out of Christian mouths make me want to turn into an ostrich, bury my head in the sand, and hope that nobody associates me with such beliefs. I have often felt this way, until a particular Christmas party unexpectedly changed my outlook on being a Christian.

Coming from a Christian high school and entering straight into a Christian university, being raised in a Christian home, and having parents who are a youth pastor and a worship leader, I can safely say that my Christian friends far outnumber my non-Christian friends. Therefore, it came to my surprise that each year as I return from university for the holidays, it is always my handful of nonChristian friends that are the

first to contact me, inviting me to their homes and parties, making me wonder: what happened to all my Christian friends I used to be so close with? My latest theory is that they all must have been raptured without me.

Whatever the reason, each year when I go home, I seem to find myself at holiday gatherings with friends in very different walks of life than my typical Christian high school or university friends.

My usual reaction to such gatherings is to “ostrich” my way out of potentially awkward situations by keeping my head down and avoiding talking about anything Christian. For example, I will say things like “I go to school in Langley” rather than specifying Trinity Western and thereby running the risk of yet again being asked about my views on the law school debate.

Often, especially after gatherings such as these, I think of myself as a rather lousy Christian.

I have never brought anyone to the Lord, and I can be pretty cowardly when it comes to talking about my faith outside of any Christian circle. This year, however, at a particular Christmas party, things were different.

I was reminded that Jesus spent a lot of his time on Earth just being with people. Being real, willing to listen, willing to laugh, and willing to love. I had the epiphany

that I may not be a preacher, but I sure can love people. Perhaps it is my non-Christian friends who are the first to reach out because they see something different in me. I cannot take credit for the things God is doing in my life and the lives of my friends, but I do know that if He can use a donkey to minister to people (Numbers 22:28) then He can also use me despite my fears.

While the party I was at did not turn into a revival with people being baptized in the punch bowl, I stopped hiding my head in the sand and instead held it high. I did not preach to or force my views on anyone, but I was honest with my responses. I was honest about where I go to school, and when I was asked the inevitable questions about the law school and community covenant, I was honest about what it said and what I thought of it.

I was surprised at how supportive my friends were, even if they did not agree with me. My responses sparked some interesting conversations that were refreshingly real and never would have happened if I had continued to be a closet Christian.

Boldness can look very different depending on people’s personalities, but

the best part is that God meets us where we currently are at and uses our mustard seeds of faith and courage to make a difference.

This Christmas, God taught me the simple act of honesty and the realiz ation that it is okay to just be myself and to love

people. God gives us all different gifts and personalities for a reason, but we will not make a difference by hiding them away.

Isn’t it time to come out of the closet?

places of as they prayer.

to provide support for refugees from all areas of the world - Development and Peace being the Canadian organization working to help Syrian refugees, specifically. The Archdiocese of Toronto has pledged to take in at least one hundred families, and there are many other dioceses across Canada that are working toward the same end.

Although there is still much to do, hopefully with continued effort like this there will be no further escalation of suffering for the displaced.

A year of mercy

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In recent history, the Church has taken her responsibility to the poor and the displaced very seriously. In 2006, Benedict XVI likened them to “lost sheep in need of guidance and support.” More recently, on December 8th, Pope Francis ushered in the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy as a reaction to the needs of the growing number of refugees in the world. At the centre of this Jubilee year are the corporal works of mercy, the seven theological moral types which exemplify Christ’s temporal acts of Charity: they include acts of service such as feeding the hungry, clothing the infirm, and visiting the sick and infirmed.

It is sometimes difficult, with all the politics surrounding this problem, to see clearly what is actually at issue here. Whether in watching the Liberal Party of Canada pat themselves on the back for accepting a paltry 25,000 refugees, or in observing Donald Trump, a caricature of a man who would twist the struggling human beings into violent threats, there is a clear sense that politicians - and if we are honest, many of us as well - are more interested in capitalizing on the suffering than in helping these people. I should say: It is great that Canada has accepted these people, but success should not lead to complacency. Additionally, recent events in Paris, among other places have caused huge concerns about the problematic reality of so many displaced and often undocumented people. The

problem is that an unfortunate number of people seem content to approach this issue with a Western attitude which is characteristically self-serving, often demanding personal gain for charitable action. This, or they allow their fears - sometimes unfounded - to keep them from loving those in need.

This cultural problem is why the Church’s declaration of the Year of Mercy - with its emphasis on selfdenial and mercy which typifies Divine Love - is so important. It has the potential to take the issue out of the swamp world of politics and force genuine and meaningful action. The Pope’s call, in September, for all parishes to take in refugees was a good step towards actualizing this reality.

With the relative stability of western society, sometimes it is forgotten that churches are

refuge as much are places o f

The Pope began the Year of Mercy with numerous actions - both symbolic and concrete - to show leadership. Most recently he invited five thousand refugees to the Vatican, while he has also invited another two thousand refugees to a special state circus - a gesture which should remind us that refugees are human beings who need more than just the basic amenities.

Locally, the Archdiocese of Vancouver has held special collections to support the numerous organizations with which it works

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McCow” - Lisa Giesbrecht

January 27, 2016

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The Papa Burger. Get it?” - Wes Richardson

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January 27, 2016

Learning to be Good Without God I

anonymous

Many days, I don’t believe in God. The divine seems elusive and mysterious, and even on the days when I think a higher power may exist, I struggle to honestly believe that Christians have the right idea of who this deity might be or what they might be like. It’s not that I don’t want to believe in a God who is the embodiment of love, one who loves me as an individual and cares eternally about me. That is a nice fantasy and one I would love to be a part of.

But it is useless to say I believe something or act like I believe something when, in all honesty, I don’t. After many nights of prayer and “worship,” after a lifetime of church involvement, after almost four years at this university, I’ve realized that perhaps I don’t know God. I’ve never seen God. I’ve never heard God. I’ve never seen a miracle. Perhaps I’ve never felt the supernatural beyond something clearly psychological or sociological.

I can’t choose whether or not there is a God. And I can’t choose the nature or character of that God, even if they do exist. Even if I feel that there is something divine, some higher purpose, some eternal ethos, I have no way of knowing what that is. And there comes a point where you doubt enough that you must come to terms with some very important philosophical quandaries, posited answers to which have caused a great divide between Christians

and the people to whom they seek to evangelize.

One quandary which has been addressed by the atheist community, particularly Greg Epstein in his book Good Without God, is “Can I be a good person without believing in God?” A common Christian response to atheism or agnosticism is, “Well, if you don’t believe in God, then where does your morality come from?

Who is preventing you from running around murdering,raping, and pillaging?”

I’ve found solace from this condemning inquiry in humanism. Before exploring humanism, I will explain my thought process in approaching postmodern humanistic morality without relying on a God-given objective morality (admittedly I am stealing from a hodgepodge of philosophical ideas which are not my own, and while I do not claim to even resemble an expert on any of them, I hope to present a practical, logical path to goodness despite the plausible absence of a God): 1. I know I, to some degree, exist. My well-being matters to me; my body is instinctually and automatically programed to keep me healthy, and I am also cognitively concerned with self-preservation; inherent in my existence is the desire to survive and be safe.

2. Although I cannot be sure that the people around me are not mere figments of my imagination, or some surreal, illusive deception, I have observed that the people around me, for all intents and purposes, exist in the same capacity as me, living their lives, protecting themselves, and

trying to survive. There does not seem to be any specific thing which makes my existence more or less valuable than theirs.

3. On a daily basis, I interact with many of these people, making choices which may affect their and my wellbeing, to varying degrees.

4. If my own well-being is of significant value, if I can see no reason that anyone else’s well-being might be more or less valuable, and if I interact with the “other” on a regular basis to the effect that our lives are intertwined and dependent on one another, then I have good reason to treat others with the same dignity, respect, and desire of preservation that I perceive in my own self.

The reasoning behind the Golden Rule need not be based on religious dogma: “The Bible told me so.” It makes sense, and it is an effective way to live in peace with other humans and move collective humanity in a positive direction, through social justice, research and technology, the arts, government, etc. Viewing these things as valuable and important is not contingent on belief in God. Postmodern Humanism maintains that every individual human is inherently valuable, while acknowledging the subjectivity of morality due to the ultimate relative subjectivity of all knowledge, since all knowledge is derived from within the confines of one or another person’s (or a group of persons’) perspective. If objectivity, certainty, is rooted in the human narrative rather than divine morality, we need not believe in a God who wants us to live one

way or another. We simply live seeking to better the whole of humanity, fighting for the things that we believe will move us forward, and defending those people who are oppressed and downcast by those who would fight for their own self-interests despite the value of the people around them. Goodness, then, becomes synonymous with love.

It becomes a thing we do, not just a thing we feel, or a thing we are made to be by some supernatural transfiguration. Of course the concept of “good” is subjective.

What defines good? I think it might have to do with the way we treat one another, the things we contribute to humanity, the legacy we live in the human narrative.

I do not intend to devalue belief in God. Religion is not the destructive force of evil it is made out to be by many neoatheists. Religion doesn’t poison everything; in fact it is more likely that every religion has in some way or another been poisoned.

Regardless, belief in the divine is powerful, and the divine is a powerful idea, perhaps an even more powerful reality. The key in navigating conversations of belief and disbelief is for religious people and nonreligious people alike to acknowledge their differences and not demonize one another.

Suggesting that an atheist cannot be good without first surrendering to Jesus is a perfect way to devalue that individual’s personal experience. While you may believe that you are good because God made you that way, those of us who struggle to believe must simply attempt to be good of our own volition, and none of us will ever be done learning.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? Nathanael Sacchetti declined to answer

January 27, 2016

What’s your best

memory from the Laurentian Leadership Centre?

“Evenings at the mansion – coming home from my internship and chatting with people about our days, our hopes and dreams.

This is when community was built.”

-Nicole Urban, Business.

#daytrip

#familymeal

#murdermystery

#LLCottawa “Witnessing the swearing in of the new government & meeting the PM.”

#grad

-Cassidy Newfield, Communications.

#newPM

“When I attended the Speech from the Throne, shaking the hand of Governor General David Johnston, and he said “thank you for your work.”

-Rosina Todo, International Studies.

“Waking up in the morning and putting my suit on.”

-Joe Delamar, Political Studies.

#suitup “When we went to Montreal and decided to go to Six Flags La Ronde and hit up the roller coasters in sub-zero temperatures.”

-Dylan Kelso, Religious Studies.

“Being able to play a grand piano whenever I want.”

-Steph Pepneck, General Studies.

#canalskate

#downtownlife “I learned so much, had so much fun and met so many great people. What more could I possibly want from a semester? Answer: Nothing!

The LLC is so AWESOME!!!!!”

-Shelby Holloway, International Studies & Communications.

#sugarshack

#fancydinner “Exploring Ottawa.

Each weekend brought some type of adventure!”

-Jenna Kober, Geography.

#studybreak @TWU_LLC llcinfo@twu.ca twu.ca/llc

LLC Info Session: Tuesday, Feb. 2 in RNT 121 from 4-5pm.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The Bob Kuhn” - Brandon Bustard

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January 27, 2016

Photo Credit: Gaby Sapon and Zack Melhus

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McCheap.” -Nick Kinnie

January 27, 2016

I

rena

iwasaki

I am not sharing my survival story so that people can praise my strength. Many people have told me that I am a strong person, but I am not. I could never have survived my accident without the support of others.

This is a story of how God saved me physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I went on a road trip with my friends during the Fall Reading Break last semester. Everything was perfect until the last day, November 14th, 2015. I was at the Water Park in West Edmonton Mall when I ended in an accident that caused a fracture dislocation at my C6/7 vertebrae with a Brown-Sequard type of an incomplete spinal cord injury. This specific condition caused me to lose the sensations of pain and temperature on the right side of my body and motor (muscle) paralysis on the left.

I believe that God was beside me through all of this. I could have easily panicked when I was on the ground injured and unable to move or feel my own body. Instead, I was extremely calm. This calmness helped me stay conscious throughout the entire time so that I was able to talk to my parents—who were in Japan at the time— as soon as I arrived at the hospital. It allowed my father, who, ironically, is an orthopedic spinal surgeon, to talk to my surgeons and to explain the situation to my mother, who was understandably in shock.

Initially, with the exception my right arm, I was unable to move my entire body. Eventually, I slowly regained movements in my left arm, soon followed by my right leg. However, the movements in my left leg did not return until three weeks after the surgery.

Imagine my frustration, as a girl who is normally loud, fairly independent, and otherwise cannot keep still, at being forced to lay in bed all day and being left unable to talk above a whisper. My lungs, bladder, and bowels were all affected, so I relied on the help of other people to perform basic

functions such as washing my body or helping me go to the bathroom. I don’t think I have ever felt so humiliated in my life, but I had no choice but to depend on the people around me.

For the first two weeks, I did not fully comprehend the reality of my injured state. Everything was still so surreal for me, so I continuously dreamed about myself dancing only to wake up and realize that I was no longer able to dance or even get out of the bed. Dance has been an enormous part of my life ever since I can remember.

Dancing is when I express my emotions best, when I feel most free, when all my stress disappears—and in less than a second I lost it all. This realization hurt me the most, and still does.

Because of this brokenness in my heart, I wished for many things. Many times when I realized that I could not get out of the bed or even move my left leg, I wished I could get rid of my leg entirely and replace it with a prosthetic leg. When I fainted from sitting up due to low blood pressure, I felt hopeless, helpless, and frustrated with myself.

When I could not see any progress from the day before, I felt depressed and wished I was dead instead.

I wanted to escape this living hell. I was so exhausted just thinking about the days of extensive work needed for recovery that permanently staying in my bed seemed preferable. People served me meals, washed me, and took care of me.

It was an easy life. I am a weak person.

I could try to gain sympathy by listing all the hardships I have faced and am currently facing, but that is not my intention for this article. I want you to know that God can and does use the people around you (even strangers!) to help you heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and also spiritually. It was your continuous support that got me through each and every struggle.

Literally thousands of people prayed for me, and many people, including people I didn’t know before, sent me their warm thoughts and kind hearts.

In both the Edmonton and Japan hospitals, I had visi-

tors and received emails and messages almost every day. Through their actions and words, many people supported my parents who were in great distress. When my left leg started showing slight knee-extension movements, I went to the ICU to show the ICU nurses my progress. Tears flowed freely down some of their faces as they rejoiced with me, as if they were overjoyed at an accomplishment of their own. My occupational therapist visited me even on her off days to encourage me. Some Japanese doctors who didn’t even have to visit me came to see my progress everyday and gave me suggestions.

Three weeks after the surgery, I finally got to the stage where I could bear sitting up for several hours without feeling nauseous, so my parents pushed my wheelchair and we took transit to visit downtown Edmonton. When we were waiting for the train to come at a train station, I noticed a middle-aged man in the distance who was staring at me. As he started to walk toward me I began to feel uneasy. But I soon realized how wrong my initial assessment of him was. He said, “I don’t know about you, I don’t know what happened to you, but I want you to know that I am praying for you.”

Whenever I thought of about giving up, God sent me someone to uplift me.

He continually showed me how generous and kind people can be. There were many ups and downs, but the words of those around me kept me from dwelling in those dark places for too long. Through the prayers and thoughts of others, I received my determination to get back on my feet once again. I am a weak person on my own, but with God, I can be strong.

When my father checked my test results, he told me that I could have been dead or completely paralyzed forever if the fracture was even a millimeter away from where it was.

The fact that I could have died made me realize that God really saved my life and that I was taking my life for granted. Since my grandparents passed away, I thought I had al-

ready accepted death as a natural process and had understood how to live a full life. I did not. I realized that I was not ready to die.

This near-death experience has opened my eyes to see how precious each moment of life is and how fully alive I am right now despite my disability.

Presently, the sensations in my right leg have not recovered, but all of the motor nerves in my left leg have returned. I have to exercise every day to strengthen the muscles in my left leg.

My doctors and psychotherapists believe that it is truly a miracle that I have come this far in only a few months. I don’t want my disability to limit me from doing what I like to do or to change how people treat me. That is why one day I plan on being able to run, to climb a mountain, to swim, to dance again. Some may say I am far too ambitious. I agree. But I am determined to overcome this disability, a feat I know will be difficult but not impossible with God at my side. I did not think I would ever be able to walk or come to TWU again, but here I am, fulfilling both of these dreams. I am so thankful to be back where I belong.

Perhaps you are currently experiencing some struggles in your life. Every person’s struggle is different so I cannot understand what exactly you are experiencing and how exactly you are feeling, but I want you to know that God is with you in more ways than you can imagine. He is wrapping His arms around you when your families and friends embrace you and offer you encouragement. Do not forget the people around you who want to hear your struggles and to support you.

You will make it through this. You can and you will.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

P.S. If you see me laying down on the ground, please help me out. There’s a good chance that I fell.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The Senior Chicken with aged cheddar” - Zach Friesen

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January 27, 2016 inspired by

[spaces] WELCOME TO [SPACES] LITERARY JOURNAL

Trent DeJong (Vol. 6) Excerpt from “Coffee and Conscience” On the eight day God created coffee --- Zazzle Mug from zazzle.com.

I’m not sure why I recall coffee time at Grandma’s with such reverence and affection. Perhaps it was grace – inclusion in a ritual, when too young to partake of the eponymous element. At the farm, coffee time never varied. It always meant cookies, the same cookies: homemade chocolate chip and store bought. The latter were always those chocolate-covered, marshmallow-puffs filled with a bit of raspberry. But I liked the homemade cookies the best and I miss them the most; I’ve never eaten a better cookie.

Coffee time was a regular and holy mystery – the conversation was as incomprehensible to me as the stuff the adults drank. In something so ordinary and as regular as coffee time, I experience what Father Capon calls the “unutterable weight of glory”. * The coffee plant is particular to where it grows, for it desires heat. A mysterious force draws it up mountains onto green slopes where it hides in the oppressive humidity of the world’s jungles. And it likes rain – lots of rain.

The earth and air flavour the fruit. In Africa, the seeds draw in essences derived from rich black soil, evening fog and very hot days. In Central and South America, mountain vistas and heavy humidity suffuse the beans. Coffee grown on the slopes of the Pacific Islands is filled with the vastness and verve of the surrounding ocean.

Because of its capacity to absorb its setting, coffee has some of the most complex and varied flavours of anything that human beings eat or drink. Furthermore, all the flavour of a particular bean is present at the time of its picking. Nothing will be added, but without due care, much can be lost. Something as extraordinary as a coffee bean is surely entitled to at least a moment’s pause to appreciate its exceptionality.

All this variety from bean to bean is extraordinary, but then the human creator fulfils his mandate to innovate. There are various methods for extracting the flavour from the grind. The most common in coffee houses is the espresso which is brewed by forcing as mall amount of early boiling water under pressure through finely ground coffee. Once you have your espresso, there’s so much to do with it. You can add water to make an Americano, steamed milk to make a Latte, lots of stemaed milk to make a Macchiato and equal parts espresso, steamed milked, and frothed milk to make a Cappacino.

Each of these has variations as well. For instance, a Cappacino can be Dry with less frothed milk and no steamed milk at all. It can be Mocha with chocolate syrup and Breva if made with half-and-half, instead of whole milk.

My personal favourite is “A Shot in the Dark” – a shot of espresso in a cup of drip coffee.

All of the above can be upgraded to a Double which means you can use two espresso shots rather than one.

Further, there is a plethora of syrups, flavorings, and spices that can be added. Chocolate is the most common, either sprinkled on top or added in syrup form, while other favourites include cinnamon, nutmeg, and Italian syrups and nearly any alcoholic beverage.

And you need not drink your coffee hot; have it warm or even iced. * Starbucks has over 170,000 beverage possibilities.

I was standing in line. In front of me was a young guy casually dressed in nothing but black and white. His track pants were black with white stripes, and his jacket was black with white sleeves. His backpack was black with white detailing, and his shoes, white with black detailing; bracelet, black; ear buds, white.

Interestingly, from the position of a customer, he as writing on the side of a Starbuck’s cup (white) with a pen (black). With the flourish of a calligrapher, he wrote something in every one of those instruction boxes, except the one labelled “Decaf.” He passed the cup to the barista.

“They let you do that?” I asked.

“I work here,” he explained.

“It looks complicated.”

“May I help you?” the barista asked me.

“16 ounce Americano, please.”

“Would you like room for cream?”

“No thanks.”

I sipped my coffee. The guy in black and white still waited for his. Such extravagance takes time. I asked him if he could write his recipe on my cup. He did so gladly.

Shots: 1 Aff, 1 Ris Syrup: 4pV Milk: S Custom: 140° x C Driz Drink: CM And then with the pride of the artist, he signed his masterpiece, “Scott Hancock.”

“Did you invent this drink?” I asked. He nodded proudly.

Three days later, I tried Scott’s masterpiece. How could I not? It was great to try something new, but I will still stick to my simple Americano for now. * “HEY! Coffee time.”

Don, our boss, almost came up behind his crew and barked, “Hey!” I think he liked to see us jump. He was a landscaper and when it came to landscaping, he knew the right way to do everything, and every other way was wrong. If we were shoveling, he’d yell, “Hey!” and sternly and impatiently show you the most efficient way to move dirt. And if we called it dirt, he’d snap, “Hey! Dirt is what’s under your fingernails; this is soil.”

He knew we were on edge and he seemed to derive some pleasure from it, because twice a day he’d come up behind us and bark, “Hey!” followed by a much softer, “Coffee time.”

When we sat down for coffee, everything changed. He told us stories about the Vietnam War and laughed at our stories about college life. The breaks were supposed to be fifteen minutes, but if the mood struck, he’d sit there much longer, and we’d enjoy the grace of a few minutes holding coffee and not a shovel.

TWU’s official literary journal, [spaces], is entering its tenth anniversary volume! As part of our celebration, the Mars’ Hill has kindly agreed to dedicate one page from each issue to feature some of the finest pieces that [spaces] has published over the years.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McCalories” - Caleb Wee

January 27, 2016

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matthew wigmore

O N R E V I EW

I

sam

rosenau

It’s your childhood. It’s your parents’ childhood. The scrolling yellow text, the sounds of lasers, the ever-so-iconic music that goes hand in hand with the equally iconic series: Star Wars.

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens was released on December 18th, 2015. This scifi blockbuster was enormously successful not only in box office records but also among critics.

The Force Awakens broke 16 records worldwide, including fastest film to gross $1 billion (12 days), largest worldwide opening weekend gross ($529 million), and highest-grossing Star Wars

I

matthew

wigmore

Bella Gelateria is located both in Coal Harbour, adjacent to the Fairmont’s Pacific Rim and Yaletown. This gelato café boasts unique flavours such as “Matcha

film ever (with the The Phantom Menace right behind). Director J.J. Abrams certainly knows how to entice Star Wars fans. He pays a significant amount of homage to the original trilogy, especially Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

With the combination of highquality filmmaking and a devoted fan following that dates back 40 years, it’s easy to understand the massive success of The Force Awakens.

Although record-breaking numbers are exciting, they don’t always tell the whole story; however, this movie is neither kitsch nor lofty. In terms of its quality filmmaking, the special effects were fantastic. Although some, like myself, don’t particularly en-

joy CGI, a movie like The Force Awakens demanded it and succeeded to deliver top-notch effects. From an acting standpoint, I thought the new protagonists, Daisy Ridley as Rey and John Boyega as Finn, did well given their circumstances. It is difficult for young actors to enter a series as culturally significant as Star Wars and achieve instant success or particularly memorable performances.

For fans of the series, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens was the best movie of 2015 and, for others, an equally exciting movie with spaceships and clairvoyant aliens. Even though I do not consider it a masterpiece, I definitely appreciate that this

Cookie Dough” or “Earl Grey Supreme.” The hide-away café harkens back to “Old-World” techniques of crafting small batches of Gelato that give each scoop a uniquely smooth and sweet texture. The staff are warm and friendly and encourage you to sample as much as you want.

No discredit to the management, but it can be bothersome how many patrons take advantage of

the unlimited sampling policing.

Should you choose to brave a cold winter’s night with some gelato, the café also serves artisan coffees. The price reflects the quality; as such, Bella Gelateria should be reserved for treats and special occasions. Nevertheless, this café definitely deserves attention for your next trip to Downtown Vancouver.

was the first Star Wars movie I saw in theatres with a cognitive, post-puberty mind. I can only imagine the many thrilled fathers and mothers who filled the seats of the theatres to watch the latest installment of their favourite childhood film series. If you want to experience a film better than your average sci-fi movie, I suggest you go and see it.

I give Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens a 7/10.

Drowsy chaperone - ovation! awards nominee

I

veronica

hargrave

The Vancouver Ovation! Awards is a leading awards committee honouring musical theatre in the greater Vancouver area, with nominations for categories such as Outstanding New Work, Performance, Direction, Music Direction, Choreography, and Design. “The Drowsy Chaperone” was nominated for three of these awards—Outstanding Production, Direction under Theatre Department Chair Angela Konrad, and Set design under Carolyn Rapanos. It is unusual for a university, especially one as rela-

tively small as Trinity Western, to be nominated at all. Information on the nominations and award results are published in the Vancouver newspaper The Georgia Straight, as well as the newsletter “Vancouver Presents: Theatre, Dance, Music, and More.”

I’m not a boy. I said I wasn’t a singer. I claimed I definitely wasn’t a dancer. But this past year, in March of 2015, Trinity Western University’s SAMC Theatre and Music departments produced The Drowsy Chaperone, a musical in which I played a singing and dancing boy—a gangster posing as a pastry chef.

This odd character description is only a sample of the ridiculous

cast of characters and laughable scenarios in The Drowsy Chaper-

one which includes other notable gags involving a blindfolded dancing romantic

hero on roller skates and repeated spit takes. Yet, somehow, the show was more than a Charlie Chaplin routine; the story was tied together by the character of the woman in the chair and her love for the show, and the ways in which she longed for and yet pushed away love in real life.

Those who came to support our theatre, friends, or family remember the catchy songs, vivid colours, and snappy choreography which made the show the fantastic production it was. We were overjoyed to hear from students and faculty what a success our show was in the community. Now, ten months later, it is my pleasure to share with you this production’s success in the Vancouver theatre world!

These nominations are a significant achievement for our small arts school, lending credibility to the educational opportunities to be had at SAMC and proudly publicizing the name of Trinity Western University.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McPleaseDon’tBeSoSmall” - Najla Ali

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january 27, 2016

unpacking 25’s success

I

matthew

wigmore

This past November, Adele graced humanity with her latest album 25. Similar to her previous albums, 19 and 21, Adele writes the majority of her own songs, all of which are connected to her own personal story in one way or another. After 21, Adele evoked the public image of a “musical heartbreak” and “diva.” But as she has demonstrated with 25, there

is more to her life than romance.

As she told James Coren in an interview in his SUV in London, 25 will be the last album to be named and inspired from a year of her life. She stated, “I like the idea of a trilogy: 19, 21 and 25.” Adele claims she is not done recording, but her muse is shifting.

According to ET, 25 is the first album to sell more than one million copies two weeks in a row.

As such, Adele has snatched NSYNC’s record of 2 million copies of No Strings Attached in the first week, as she sold more than 3 million copies in 25’s first week.

Adele’s position as a leader in the music industry has raised questions about whether the influence of image in popular media is losing stead. 25 does not reflect her current age, but the period in her life from which the songs are inspired. In fact, Adele is currently 27, and the gap between this album and her preceding one, 21, is due to bearing and raising a child.

In short, a plus-sized singlemother who raises her own child, has just broken sales records.

Perhaps what can be garnered from Adele’s success is that normal people enjoy music from those who do not transcended

them in image. Adele has been known to cackle, cuss in interviews, and take time off work to raise her child.

Adele’s success poses, despite image-infatuation in shows like American Idol and the X-Factor, that one’s ability to connect with the rest of humanity produces success. Furthermore, Adele was trained at the BRIT School of Performing Arts and boasts a unique voice with an envy-some range. With shows like The Voice and artists like Adele on the rise, it seems that voice, talent, and music are selling more than image.

If this is true, popular media’s focus on “sex sells” may soon be challenged by authenticity. Once posed with BuzzFeed’s question, “What would you like young women to know?” actress Viola Davis answered, “You should never conform to someone else’s definition of womanhood.”

Hopefully, in a Western world that institutionalizes disconnection, popular media may be promoting integrity and honest selfrepresentation.

take Best Actress at the Oscars as well. DiCaprio’s incredible physical performance of bear-attack injuries and vulnerable emotional depth in The Revenant pretty much guarantee him that elusive Oscar, which he’s failed to incur for Titanic and Catch Me If You Can. According to Variety.com, Sylvester Stallone (Creed) and Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl) lead the predictions for the Supporting Actor/Actress categories.

Despite all the glitz and the glam of nomination season, many are disappointed with the Academy for their lack of diversity in nominations. At first, I wondered if the media simply wanted to make a fuss, but it is worth noting that the black talent in Creed, Straight Outta Compton, Concussion, and Beasts of No Nation were not represented in the Oscar Nominations. In the past

two years, the 40 acting nomination slots have been devoid of coloured actors. Al Sharpton, Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith, and Spike Lee will reportedly boycott the 2016 Oscars in response to this distressing news. However, as Whoopi Goldberg said in response to news of this boycott, “It’s not that the people doing the nominating are too white.

The problem is . . .there has never been, in the history of movies, a plethora of black movies made because [the people who fund movies] believe we don’t want to see movies with black people in them.”

Oscar nominations A semi-informed analysis

I

trevor

mcmahan

On January 14th, one thought dominated the minds of moviegoers worldwide: “Hey, the Oscar noms are out.” Feeding everyone’s annual need for lists and winners after the previous Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards, this year’s nominations covered a wide variety of stories, from past (Joy) to present (Cartel Land) to future (The Martian), non-fiction (Spotlight) to fictional (Room) to historical fictional (Brooklyn). The nominations, as always, are a mixture of wonderful films audiences both love and are unfamiliar with.

The nomination race is led by some of the most violent yet most

engaging films in recent Oscar history. Leading the race with twelve nominations is The Revenant, the story of real-life Civil War era fur trapper Hugh Glass who was attacked by a bear and left for dead. Directed by Alejandro G. Iñárritu, the movie feels like the long-lost cousin to Iñárritu’s 2015 Best Picture winner, Birdman. This film undoubtedly deserves all of its nominations, as it is one of the most ambitiously crafted movies to date, boasting numerous incredible continuous shots shot solely with natural light and a host of strong performances. The Revenant seems to be a top contender for Best Picture but is likely to be bested by Spotlight, which was recently named Best Film of the Year by the National Society of Film Critics.

Following with ten nominations is Mad Max: Fury Road,

my favourite movie of the year. A “guzzolene”-powered two-hour chase scene, the film manages to paint the picture of a depraved post-apocalyptic world while simultaneously highlighting the intrinsic human need for hope and redemption. The best thing about this film and The Revenant? Their gorgeous and detailed visuals are, for the most part, real. Both films spent millions of dollars in pursuit of gritty realism, and the efforts paid off. The Best Director award may be a battle between the two visionaries behind these projects, Iñárritu and George Miller.

Strong performances from women and men in Brooklyn, Spotlight, Carol, and more make it frustrating that only one single victor will be chosen. Brie Larson, for Room, won the Golden Globe for Best Picture (Drama), and some speculate she may also

The 88th Academy Awards Ceremony, hosted by Chris Rock, will air on February 28 on ABC.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McSteamy with steamed roast beef” - Jesse Van Rees

The talent of laughter

January 27, 2016

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How a theatre grad is adding to refugee relief efforts

I

mackenzie

johnson

While the Syrian Civil War has raged for nearly five years now, it was arguably only in the latter half of 2015 that the world took notice of the resulting refugee crisis. But, even as thousands of refugees have now made their way to Canada—and as many more promise to arrive—the question of how to extend a hand of grace and love to them still lingers.

This is the question that plagued TWU Theatre alumna Amy Dauer. As a recent graduate slowly establishing herself in Vancouver’s theatre scene, she wondered what she could do to help refugees and felt that she had nothing to offer. Then she discovered Clowns Without Borders, a group who travels to refugee camps to entertain children. The discovery gave Dauer the spark of inspiration she needed.

“I was like, ‘Wow, I don’t know

how to do anything doctorly [sic], or organize new people, or do government or political things,’” Dauer says, “‘but I can make kids laugh.’” She began to research on refugees settling in Vancouver, which led her to the Syrian Canadian Council. With their help, Dauer was able to organize an event for newly-arrived refugee children and their families which was held last month at the Vancouver Welcome House. True to her roots, Dauer created a simple theatrical experience to entertain the kids. The play, which told of a girl with poor dance moves trying to impress a guy with the help of her much cooler friend, used only the occasional short English phrase to verbally communicate—akin to Mr. Bean— in order to cross the language barrier. It also involved audience participation, calling upon the children to help both disguise the girl from her would-be love interest and then later put makeup on her once the guy realizes who she is. Eventually, the girl realizes that the guy is just as bad a dancer as she is.

The end result was more successful than Dauer could have imagined. While translators were present, they were not really needed beyond explaining the initial situation. Dauer did not have a large audience—about ten children or so—as many of the families had been found permanent housing, but Dauer makes a point that this was a good thing.

Thankfully, the audience she did have was very receptive.

“I went in there to try and make kids laugh, but really it was the adults who were most impacted,” says Dauer. “The kids got into it; the parents got into it—it was really nice. I think seeing their child laugh for the first time in ages was the best thing we could have given them.”

By the time this article is published, Dauer will have held another of these events in Richmond for a much larger audience. The Parable of the Talents from Matthew 25 comes

to mind when she mentions the response she receives; like Dauer, others have realized how they could invest their talents to help refugees in ways that are not financial or material, such as providing professional styling for job interviews or setting up a youth soccer league.

“We all feel helpless,” says Dauer, “but we can’t all be helpless.

There’s so much that we can do.

We just don’t think about it.”

SAMC theatre presents new generations Playwright Shelby Dumoulin shares her story

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shelby

dumoulin

Chasing Tina is one of three plays being staged in SAMC Theatre’s upcoming production, New Generations. The semi-regular festival of student-directed theatre has become a favorite in past seasons, offering a wide variety of plays from the outrageous to the tragic, the heartfelt to the hilarious. New Generations not only provides a unique opportunity for newer actors to have a moment in the spotlight but also a chance for

student playwrights to see their stories and characters leave the page and become flesh.

“You think I can’t recognize one of your kind? Those girly little overpriced charity shoes of yours are about as obvious as a sandwich board that says ‘I have a liberal arts degree and I don’t use shampoo’.”

Chase is a naïve, Macbooktoting, Plato-quoting, twentysomething idealist who dreams of a kinder, cleaner world. Tina is a cynical, black-clad, spiked and studded barista with a biting wit and a sharp eye for bullshit. When the two meet in a local vegan café, sparks fly—along with a few sharp objects and well placed in-

sults—and Chase, with the help of his well-meaning and slightly overbearing

m o t h e r, embarks on a quest to win the heart of his “dark princess.”

This year I have had the great privilege of seeing one of my own plays produced on SAMC Theater’s stage as a part of New Generations (under the name of Shelby Wyminga). It is a truly amazing experience to be part of a production created from the ground up by students, the results of which are always clearly marked by the fresh, lively perspective inherent in young artists. Chasing Tina, directed

by Elizabeth Drummond, is an odd little love story, filled with quirky characters, snarky dialogue and all too familiar struggles. As with most of my work, Chasing Tina has been greatly inspired by the things I observe in the

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McSpartan” - David Zhang

world around me every day. It has occurred to me over the past few years that, as a society, we are desperate to find something by which to define ourselves, whether that be our skills, our clothes, our hobbies or our causes. This story is a chance to poke fun at the ridiculousness of our own performances as we stumble through the more awkward phases in life.

Ultimately, I hope that by laughing at the weirdos on stage, we can begin to recognize our own masks, accept our eccentricities, and rest in the assurance that really, we are all weirdos.

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january 27, 2016

KATIE MARYSCHUK

Almost olympians

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With the Rio Olympics only 191 days away, Canada’s men’s basketball team is finding its edge with one last opportunity to make it into the games. The team captured the bronze medal in the FIBA Americas championship over the summer of 2015 in Mexico City. Despite their victory, the men were displaced from a final gold medal match with an upset win from No. 4 Venezuela by one point in the semi-finals. Had they won that game, the men would already be counting themselves as Olympians.

Ultimately, it comes down to the International Basketball Federation (FIBA) and the Olympic Qualifying Tournament (OQT).

These tournaments are required by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and FIBA to ensure that teams make it into the Olympics fairly. They stand as the last chance for a team that did not qualify in any direct continental championship to make it into

the games. These tournaments also provide a good chance for players to continue practicing and honing their skills in preparation for the big show.

More specifically, six teams will play in one tournament for one spot in the Olympics, resulting in a total of three tournaments and three spots.

Teams who have already qualified (United States, Brazil, Australia, Nigeria, Venezuela, Argentina, Spain, Lithuania, and China) did so through various opportunities stretching back to 2014. The United States was first to qualify in the 2014 FIBA Basketball World Cup, followed by the host nation of Brazil, who receives an automatic qualification. Each continent possesses a various amount of berths for their area, some more than others (the Americas and European continents have two spots versus one for every other continent). The draw for Turin (Italy), Manila (Philippines) and Belgrade (Serbia) will be made on Tuesday, January 26th.

For Canada, this will be the last opportunity to break a long-held streak of a qualification spot in the games.

In retrospect, it will have been 16 years since Canada has seen any type of Olympic basketball action. In Sydney, Australia, Canadianborn coach Jay Triano led the men to a record seventh place finish. They lost to France in what was a close 5-point quarter final game. In 2004, the men lost to Puerto Rico trying to make it to Athens. In 2008, it was Puerto Rico once more in the quarterfinals of the 2007 FIBA Americas Championship in Las Vegas. In 2012, it was Argentina in the bronze medal match of the same tournament. 2016 may hold redemption and a key rebuilding point for the team. Triano himself was head coach from 1994 until 2004, when he was abruptly fired, but then rehired again in 2012. Since he was fired, two other men, Leo Rautins and Dave Smith, have attempted to lead the team in the right direction. It appears that ever since the team began to build momentum

after the 2012 close call with Argentina, they are continuing from a good foundation with good technical players and a coach that has a desire to push and see gold.

Boasting a current roster with eight NBA players and a total of twelve men who are currently playing at the professional level, there is little wonder why Canada is only starting to emerge as a contender just within the last four years. With the likes of Kelly Olynyk, who reigns from nearby Kamloops and plays for the Celtics, Andy Wiggins, who currently plays for the Minnesota Timberwolves, and Anthony Bennett, who plays for his hometown team, the Raptors, Team Canada is filled with both fired up youth and veterans who have seen the likes of FIBA tournaments before. Entering this last tournament in July gives Canada the last chance to prove what they are made of, but better yet, to show that the momentum they gained in 2012 has not been diminished by their loss to Venezuela in 2015.

If you want to learn more about Team Canada and their fight for qualification at Rio, check out www.fiba.com. Team Canada hits the court from July 4-10 this year.

From the frontlines

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Being a Spartan athlete on the track and field team certainly has its ups and downs. From getting injured to setting new personal bests, everything helps to set the tone for a new year of competition. Training relentlessly for months can sometimes cause me to question why I even do what I do, especially since the competition season is only during the second half of the year. Without the competitions, we cannot actually quantify how well we are doing or

whether or not we are even getting any better.

Saturday, January 16th was the first meet of the year and a success for our Spartan athletes. Although difficult training was an essential part of the process, I really think our success had to do with the atmosphere fostered by our new head coach, Rob Pike. The team dynamic shifted from an “us and them” atmosphere to just “us.” Although outside of track and field I had the opportunity to get to know some of my teammates in other groups, I rarely considered it necessary to build track relationships outside of practice. The new coaches managed to unite all the athletes into what feels like a powerful team.

This new season marks the

start of something fresh for the Spartans, from a new head and assistant coach to our team losing some of our strongest athletes on the women’s team, including, but not limited to, Fiona Benson, who managed to attain Olympic qualifying times in both the 1,500m and the 800m races. In spite of all of the recent changes, we currently have the strongest track and field team in TWU’s history. A lot of our athletes are already matching mid-season times, heights, and distances, which makes me fairly excited to see how this season unfolds. Look for the results from the Golden Bear Open over Jan 22nd and 23rd weekend as well as our next meet on Jan 29th at the University of Washington.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McHeartStopper for obvious reasons” - Wesley Chang

january 27, 2016

Top three football headlines of the week:

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1 Cardinals Request Post-Season Help from Pope and Regret Not Using a Hail-Mary Pass.

2 Broncos Give an Old Man the Chance of a Lifetime to Play Quarterback.

3 Will Smith Reports Headache after Filming Concussion.

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katie

maryschuk

What is your specific event in track and field?

JP: I do a couple events, although mainly sprinting. However, this year I have done the 600m.

My main, and favorite, event is 400m hurdles.

EL: My main event is pole vault, which basically involves using a long pole and jumping as high as you can over a bar. It is so much fun, and I love it. Hurdles, on the other hand, is a completely different event which requires running over hurdles as fast as you can. At first, it’s quite intimidating but can be really fun and challenging.

What made you want to get involved with track and field?

JP: In elementary school, everyone would participate in track and field, and I really enjoyed it.

Growing up, my same coach from elementary school saw potential in me and really encouraged me to take it to the next level, which was high school and clubs. From

there I found a love for the sport and kept seeing where it would take me next.

EL: I started track and field in elementary school at the annual track and field meet. I enjoyed the sport since I really loved doing triple jump, high jump, and running the 800 meter. It was not until grade 10 that I started pole vault and thought that track was the coolest sport.

What do you think is the most exciting part of the event?

JP: 400m hurdles is one of the hardest events, both mentally and physically. 400m is hard in itself but becomes even more difficult with hurdles. Adding the extra element of hurdles makes it so much more interesting than just running a straight race. The most exciting part is when you make it over the last daunting hurdle. It is the biggest relief, and the finish line is in sight!

EL: I think the most exciting part of my sport is being able to do such a unique event and being able to just “fly” in the air. It is just so exciting to push myself in each practice and see how far I am able to exceed my comfort zone.

What would you say is the biggest

contributor to your passion for the event?

JP: Its high demand and the excitement of achieving your goals.

EL: The challenge and fun of it!

Describe the team atmosphere here at TWU, within Spartan Athletics, but more specifically on your team.

JP: The team atmosphere is unreal. Everyone is so supportive of each other both in training and in school and life. It is important for us to be a spiritually-centred team, which also helps with our team dynamics and relationships.

I am constantly feeling supported and encouraged by everyone to do my best.

EL: Coming from Toronto to Trinity Western, I was quite nervous and had no idea what to expect, but when I got here, I was easily able to make friends, and I felt like I could fit right in. The atmosphere in my team is something special and now feels like one big family. Even though we have a massive team, I have developed some incredible friends that have helped me through tough and good times. I know that some of them will be life-long friends.

name: jordyn piercy year: second major: education sport: track and field hometown: victoria, bc

name: emma li year: second major: human kinetics sport: track and field hometown: markham, on

for more from Jordyn and Emma and exciting online exclusives go to:

marshillonline.com Are you :  A writer, poet, or multimedia artist;  A BC resident;  Between the ages of 17—29;  Someone who has something to say about anxiety?

If so, enter AnxietyBC’s 2016 Writing & Multimedia Contest!

Winners will receive up to $500 and have their work published on our website and social media channels.

Submission deadline is March 31, 2016.

For more information or to enter go to: http://www.anxietybc.com/anxietybc-writing-and-mixed-media-contest-2016

Are you :

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? [He says resolutely] “McCattyChuggin.” - Pearce Eshenko



A writer, poet, or multimedia artist;



A BC resident;

18

january 27, 2016

The tennis racket

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katie

maryschuk

Tennis has recently been making quite the racket. A tennis match goes like this (or so I imagine): You buy a ticket for a tennis match. It costs you approximately $300 for a single ticket to an average Grand Slam event. This ticket lasts you for about seven hours. From Sharipova to Raonic to Bouchard and beyond, the starlets of tennis make their way across the court. One match can last up to 4 hours, so you may get to watch two matches if you are lucky. The match finishes, and you go home with a new insight into the game and a nice tan from sitting in the sun all day.

For spectators, tennis is nothing more than a game based on a narrowly specific point system where one player is determined to make a fuzzy green ball land inside a specific area on the other player’s side. Not many people, myself included, are all that familiar with tennis, simply because it does not have a particularly strong presence here in British Columbia. Despite Canada having some of the most powerful ball-crushers in recent history (Raonic, Bouchard, Pospisil), tennis is usually associated as an elite sport played by those who can afford lessons. We may go outside for a friendly match with a friend on the courts, but excelling in the sport often requires a significant amount of time, money, and resources.

Time and money are lately be-

coming the focus of a sport that has for decades revolved around athleticism and the improvement of lives. Tennis Canada boasts a mantra of benefiting the lives of Canadians through “physical, social, and emotional benefits . . . by leading the growth of the sport across the country.”

The tides turned in mid-January right before the start of the Australian Open in Melbourne.

BBC and BuzzFeed News released a package of data online that revealed that tennis authorities were not taking the proper steps to crack down on athletes purposely losing matches. For an amateur athlete, the thought of purposely losing a match is not even an option—why on earth would anyone want to lose a game that could progress their standings or move them up in a tournament? The answer is simply the same reason that athletes enter tournaments at all: money.

A tournament is set up with a specific draw and losing or winning a game means that a player will advance in a certain way that sets him or her up to play another player from another bracket. As a tennis player, if you win your bracket, odds are that you will play another winner of a different bracket. If you lose, and if the tournament is not a doubleknockout, then you will most likely play another loser. The goal of throwing a game is to be able to play an opponent that you believe you stand a good chance of beating, increasing your odds of advancing.

This has happened before, specifically in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. The Badminton World Federation voted to dismiss four pairs of women’s doubles badmin-

ton players after it was revealed that they threw their matches in order to ensure more beneficial future rounds.

In general, throwing games is not a new concept to tennis.

CEOs of major corporations (IMG or Agate Printing, for instance) have been found guilty of betting on major players, including Swiss star Roger Federer. This betting encourages the players to lose a match that will in return earn them large sums of money from corporations or sponsors, regardless of their tournament outcome.

The focus turns from climbing the international tennis ladder to making some real hard cash. The real commotion is now that these two major news companies (BuzzFeed and BBC) have released this information, and tennis gurus are beginning to crack their technical codes on specific players whose integrity and reputation are on the line. Just how many of tennis’ top players are involved in scandal?

So how does the tennis world rebuild its reputation from all of this commotion? Firstly, players will always have the chance to come clean about their actions.

Players are the heart of the International Tennis Federation (ITF) and are at the very centre of how the ITF works: no players, no game. If a player comes clean, there are specific violations that can take place; however, with major money on the line, the odds of high-level players admitting to

throwing games is very slim. The solution comes down to video replay, psychological analysis, and statistical analysis that aligns with reports of betting.

This solution is what the major report from BuzzFeed and BBC is all about. An analyst and reporter from BuzzFeed followed and correlated over 26,000 men’s matches with betting and found patterns that involved the amount of money bet on a match and the result of the match. The tennis world is

sitting on the edge of controversy and it is only a matter of time before names are released. Perhaps scandal is what the sport needs in order to bring it back down to earth and expose those who are not in favour of true sport.

The new year in sports

By Katie Maryschuk As the new year gets underway, let’s take a look at some of the biggest sports events that are coming our way in 2016.

April

May

January 18th – 31st: Tennis Australian Open

June

February 7th: American Football – Super Bowl in Santa Clara, California

2nd – 6th: Indoor Cycling - World Track Championships

July

August Multi-sports – Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro

7th – 10th: Golf – Masters

7th: Horse Racing – Kentucky Derby

Ice Hockey – Stanley Cup Finals

Cycling – Tour de France

September

October

November

December

22nd – Oct 3rd: Baseball – Women’s Baseball World Cup

Baseball – World Series

Marathon – New York Marathon

March

Swimming – FINA World Swimming Championships (Short Course)

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The McDreamy” - Breanna Hayward

January 27, 2016

KREG LONNEBERG

12-Step Program for Getting Better Grades

Take inventory of your pens, pencils, and stationary.

Cry and pray.

Admit that you’re powerless regarding your grades.

Realize that all the coloured pens and pretty notebooks in the world can’t save you now.

Sacrifice all of your pens, pencils, and stationary to a higher power in a ritual involving fire.

Apologize to your parents.

Last semester probably used a lot of their money.

Bribe your professors by showering them with flowers, chocolates, and fruit baskets.

Acknowledge that at this point, only a higher power can improve your grades.

Surrender your grades to this higher power.

Cry.

Pray.

Bribe your higher power by showering him/ her/it with flowers, chocolates, and fruit baskets.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “Cow in a bun” - Girl in cafeteria

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January 27, 2016

Submit your declassifIeds at:

www.marshillonline.com/de-classifIed Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff , the student association, or that of the University. In fact probably not.

Due to a lack of declassifieds, the Mars’ Hill staff was forced to resort to Yik Yak. Step it up, student body.

8tracks, stop busting my jam!

“For someone who’s 70% water, you’re not very refreshing.”

— Trinity College Dublin

Worst part about studying in a lounge...when someone waves and you dont know if they’re waving at you, so you just awkwardly wave anyways I just want someone to look at me the same way they do when the server is bringing their food What year is it?

Ross Browne is literally Troy Bolton!

When Trinity students use the #westcoast hashtag I just wanna be like “#farmland sweetie.” #krushing My new year’s resolution 2016: Stop crying in school Dear freshman boys, thanks for the entertaining study break.

I first watched you pry open a gym window, hoist yourself inside, and then be escorted out by security an hour later. Valiant effort, but sucks to suck.

Sincerely, the Fraser Stalker. #keenan Wear black on February 14 if you’re for the boys http://whatyearisit.info/

“At that age when “back to school shopping” means getting food for the apartment.”

— University of Minnesota “Best phrase to hear as a student: I haven’t started it either.”

— University of Cambridge “You ever been so poor you had sleep for dinner?” — Central Michigan University “I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelid makes me feel better about myself.” — University of Waterloo “Will the bookstore accept a kidney as a form of payment?” — University of Saskatchewan “The thicker your thighs are the more snacks you can lay on your lap.” — University of Lincoln

“[God creating jellyfish] how bout an evil bag?”

“New Years resolution: A’s before baes.” — Western University “I go to the gym religiously. So about twice a year on holidays.”

— University of Florida “Old people coming at me like: you’re too young to be tired.

Well okay Carrol, you’re too old to be alive but here we are.” — New Brunswick “Went through a lot last year.

Doors mostly, a few windows, a couple of tunnels.” — UGA

“Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti..” — UMass Amherst

“Not sure if fire alarm or two girls seeing each other for the first time since last semester.” — Dalhousie University

“And all across campus, as far as the eye could see...sweatpants” — Western University

“I sometimes put bread on my Nutella.” — University of St Andrews

“Be the person the admissions officer thought you were” — Tulane University

year: 2nd shuttleworth Richmond

Hometown: Langley Denomination: Baptist Top quality in a future mate? Female.

You don’t have to sit in school to stand among greatness.

“Haven’t graduated yet but I can’t wait to be retired.” — Dalhousie University

“Ex: I still love you. Me: I don’t blame you.” — UC San Diego

Andrew

age: 31

› Thomas Edison: The world’s most extraordinary failure never gave up.

Thank goodness.

major:Education

How many kids do you want? The average: 1.9 Favorite food? Aged kiwi loaf.

Favourite action movie?

Domestic talent? The creation of food art such as cereal and grilled cheese.

Love language? Quality touch

Idea of a perfect date?

Two to three centimetres in diameter and rich in dietary fiber.

Spain. Madrid. Alberche. Sand between our toes.

Partly Cloudy. Humidity: 73%. Temperature: 26 degrees. 101 kPa. 13 km/h winds blowing S/SE.

Biggest deal-breaker? Male.

Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses

“College is spending a semester learning how to live and spending a week learning how to pass a class.” — WSU

“I wish that “my parents said no” was still a viable excuse to get out of social events.” — College of William & Mary

“When you get shampoo in your eye and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be” — University of Liverpool

THE HIMNAL

“If you can’t handle me during exam season, you don’t deserve me at my best”- Marilyn Monroe” — Dublin City University

By Levin C. Handy (per http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/cwpbh.04326) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I’m not even back at school and I’m already planning out when I can take naps between my classes

Best place for a first kiss?

open. online. everywhere. go.athabascau.ca/online-courses

height: 6’5”

Best pick up line? If you were a pen you’d be a FINELINER.

How long before you propose? 10 yards Good age to get married? 31 Age limit (max/min)? 19+ to play. Know your limit, play within it.

Views on courtship? Go for it ladies.

How would you win her parents over? A Luau with me as the featured dancer.

What would you name the next McDonalds burger? “The Linda Burger” - Linda Burger