__MAIN_TEXT__

Page 1

THE MILL

carolina piedmont

A LOCAL EXCHANGE INSPIRING VIBRANT, PROSPEROUS COMMUNITIES

magazine

finding gratitude


DI L o ce

usso

lifestyle salon

luxury +style

YOU OWE YOURSELF THIS MOMENT

DOLCELUSSO.COM BAXTER VILLAGE 985 MARKET ST, FORT MILL 803.802.5877

PARK ROAD 4237 PARK RD, CHARLOTTE 980.859.2783

STONECREST 7808 REA RD, CHARLOTTE 704.542.6550

KINGSLEY 1377 BROADCLOTH ST, FORT MILL 803.802.5000


Introducing

THE FIRST-EVER CT6-V FOR A NEW GENERATION

2515 CHERRY ROAD, ROCK HILL SC ∙ 800-424-0852 ∙ BURNSCADILLAC.COM


FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE 2020 CT6-V SEDAN, VISIT CADILLAC.COM


3071 US-21, SUITE 103 803.835.0444

|

FORT MILL, SC 29715 providence-chiropractic.com


Dr. Jessica Harden, DC with her German Shorthaired Pointer, LaRue


TOOLS & EQUIPMENT F O R S M A L L FA R M S MADE IN THE USA


1-844-255-5864 | TILMOR.COM


“ THANK YOU First Responders and Veterans

for your bravery, compassion, and service to humanity.” -- William J. Boss, Owner with his wife and kids

ON TH E

MO

VE

ON

E TH

MOVE

THE TRAILER STORE

2950 Old Nation Rd, Fort Mill, SC 29715 | 704-996-1998 | thetrailerstore.online


Lou Waple Attorney | Partner

Lindsey Houk Attorney | Partner

601 East Blvd, Suite 100, Charlotte, NC 28203 | 704.954.8697 WA P L E HOU K L AW. C OM


P

10 CELEBRATING

P 2010

YEARS

2020


a TMM T H E M I L L M AG A Z I N E

FindingGratitude E D I T I O N 1 1 N O . 4

PUBLISHER MarketStyleMedia EDITOR IN CHIEF TraceyRoman COMMUNITY EDITOR AubreyDucane CONTRIBUTING WRITERS AngelaGorrell ChristinaKarns RichardGunderman CandaceMattingly PHOTOGRAPHERS AlexandruAcea RimmaBondarenko JimmyConover MonikaGrabkowska Lilechka75 ArturRutkowski NathanAnderson AaronBurden ErikaFletcher SteveHalama DerynMacey EvieS OmidArmin IvanaCajina JonathanForage MikitaKarasiou HannaMorris PhillippSchneidenbach LaurineBailly ValterCirillo DilyaraGarifullina ErikKarits AnatoliiNesterov AnnieSpratt ADVERTISING ad.sales@themillmagazine.com 803-619-0491 ©2020 THE MILL MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE COPYRIGHT OWNER. THE MILL MAGAZINE DOES NOT NECESSARILY ENDORSE THE VIEWS AND PERCEPTIONS OF ADVERTISERS.

WE ARE SOCIAL, TOO. JOIN THE CONVERSATION @themillmag

12

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


P

10 CELEBRATING

2010

P

2020

YEARS

eatures F T

You’re Grateful, p.18 When Your Brain Becomes More Charitable

p.30 Finding

Joy Today Not Such An Absurd Idea

p.44

grateful

Are You As

As You Deserve To Be?

p.58

Food Gratitude

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

13


Natasha Duff-Cole Owner & Style Consultant

THE SHOPPES AT TWIN OAKS

1419 East Boulevard, STE E Charlotte, NC 28203 704.547.4208 KINGSLEY TOWN CENTER

1329 Broadcloth St. STE 103 Fort Mill, SC 29715 803.233.1722

ladiesoflineage.com


Dr. Teresa T. Mercado, DDS with her English Bulldog, Boris

803-547-7779 | 1515 ONYX RIDGE, SUITE 108, FORT MILL, SC 29708 | MONARCHDENTISTRYOFGOLDHILL.COM


CHARACTER

BACKYARD

TEXTURE

PROVISIONS

Character inspiring small town living

16

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Samantha Ellison NC/SC Realtor ®

124 MAIN STREET FORT MILL, SC 29715 704-756-7888 SELLISON@HIGHGARDEN.COM THESELLISON.COM


When You’re Grateful, Your Brain Becomes More Charitable

Te x t . b y. C h r i s t i n a . K a r n s

T 18

is the season when the conversation shifts to what you’re thankful for. Gathered with family and friends around a holiday feast, for instance, people may recount some of the biggies – like their health or their children – or smaller things that enhance everyday life – like happening upon a great movie while channel-surfing or enjoying a favorite seasonal food. THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photo by Omid Armin.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

19


Photo by Erik Karits.

20

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Psychology researchers recognize that taking time to be thankful has benefits for well-being. Not only does gratitude go along with more optimism, less anxiety and depression, and greater goal attainment, but it’s also associated with fewer symptoms of illness and other physical benefits. In recent years, researchers have been making connections between the internal experience of gratitude and the external practice of altruism. How does being thankful about things in your own life relate to any selfless concern you may have about the well-being of others? As a neuroscientist, I’m particularly interested in the brain regions and connections that support gratitude and altruism. I’ve been exploring how changes in one might lead to changes in the other. SHARED PATHWAY FOR GRATITUDE AND ALTRUISM To study the relationship between gratitude and altruism in the brain, my colleagues and I first asked volunteers questions meant to tease out how frequently they feel thankful and the degree to which they tend to care about the well-being of others. Then we used statistics to determine the extent to which someone’s gratitude could predict their altruism. As others have found, the more grateful people in this group tended to be more altruistic. The next step was to explore more about how these tendencies are reflected in the brain. Our study participants performed a giving activity in the MRI scanner. They watched as the computer transferred real money to their own account or to the account of a local food bank. Sometimes they could choose whether to give or receive, but other times the transfers were like a mandatory tax, outside their control. We especially wanted to compare what happened in the brain when a participant received money as opposed to seeing money given to the charity instead. It turns out that the neural connection between gratitude and giving is very deep,

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

21


both literally and figuratively. A region deep in the frontal lobe of the brain, called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, is key to supporting both. Anatomically, this region is wired up to be a hub for processing the value of risk and reward; it’s richly connected to even deeper brain regions that provide a kick of pleasurable neurochemicals in the right circumstances. It holds abstract representations of the inner and outer world that help with complex reasoning, one’s representation of oneself, and even social processing. Beyond identifying the place in the brain that was especially active during these tasks, we also saw differences in just how active this region was in various individuals. We calculated what we termed a “pure altruism response” by comparing how active the reward regions of the brain were during “charity-gain” versus “self-gain” situations. The participants I’d identified as more grateful and more altruistic via the questionnaire had a higher “pure altruism” scores – that is, a stronger response in these reward regions of the brain when they saw the charity gaining money. It felt good for them to see the food bank do well. In other studies, some of my colleagues had zeroed in on this same brain region. They found that individual differences in self-reported “benevolence” were mirrored by participants’ brains’ responses to charitable donations, including in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex. So is this brain reward region the key to kindness? Well, it’s complicated. PRACTICE MAKES GRATEFUL, MAKES ALTRUISTIC? The human brain is amazingly flexible. The absence of hearing in someone who’s born deaf opens up brain real estate that would have processed sound to instead deal with other sensory information, like touch. Neuroscientists call this plasticity. In recent years I’ve been testing the idea that the plasticity of the mature brain can be used to enhance the experience of well-being. Could practice change how emotions

22

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photos by Aaron Burden (top) and Erika Fletcher (bottom).

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

23


Photos by Phillipp Schneidenbach (top) and Nathan Anderson (bottom).

24

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


that support social relationships – like gratitude, empathy, and altruism – are typically programmed into the brain? Through practicing gratitude, could people become more generous? My colleagues and I decided to test whether by changing the amount of gratitude people felt, we could alter the way the ventromedial prefrontal cortex responds to giving and receiving. I randomly assigned study participants to one of two groups. For three weeks, one group wrote in their journals about gratitude, keeping track of the things they were thankful for. Over the same period, the other group wrote about engaging topics from their lives that weren’t specific to gratitude. Gratitude journaling seemed to work. Just keeping a written account about gratitude led people to report experiencing more of the emotion. Other recent work also indicates that gratitude practice makes people more supportive of others and improves relationships. Importantly, the participants in our study also exhibited a change in how their brains responded to giving. In the MRI scanner, the group that practiced gratitude by journaling increased their “pure altruism” measure in the reward regions of the brain. Their responses to charity-gain increased more than those to self-gain. ALTERING THE EXCHANGE RATE FOR WHAT’S REWARDING The ventromedial prefrontal cortex is connected to other brain systems that help you experience reward. These high-level systems in your frontal lobes are constantly assessing the value of your decisions. This part of the brain helps you place various things in a hierarchy of how rewarding you find them to be. It may help you determine which decisions, goals, and relationships to prioritize. Here’s an analogy: When I was 13, my aunt gave me an amazing opportunity to travel with her to Britain. When I started saving up my babysitting money, it cost US$1.65 to buy one British pound sterling. But by the time of the trip, it cost nearly $2.00 to buy

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

25


Photo by Mikita Karasiou.

one British pound. A £10 British souvenir that would have cost $16 a few months ago would now cost me $20. In other words, the value of each dollar bill fluctuated with the exchange rate. I imagine the ventromedial prefrontal cortex is like the office where you exchange dollars to pounds or vice versa. For the people with more grateful and altruistic tendencies, it seems the ventromedial prefrontal cortex assigns more value to charitable donations than to receiving money for themselves. Practicing gratitude shifted the value of giving in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex. It changed the exchange rate in the brain. Giving to charity became more valuable than receiving money yourself. After the brain calculates the exchange rate, you get paid in the neural currency of reward, the delivery of neurotransmitters that signal pleasure, and goal attainment. So in terms of the brain’s reward response, it really can be true that giving is better than receiving. As you sail through the holidays – whether with a Thanksgiving banquet spread out for our friends and family, a busy shopping day on Black Friday, or a pile of Christmas presents – taking time to practice gratitude can help make giving the most rewarding activity of all.

aM T M T H E M I L L M AG A Z I N E

Christina Karns is a Research Associate in Psychology and the Center for Brain Injury Research and Training, as well as the Director of Emotions and Neuroplasticity Project at the University of Oregon. Her research was supported by a grant from the Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude Project through UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, in partnership with UC Davis, with funding from the John Templeton Foundation, and this article was originally published on The Conversation.

26

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Tracy M. Frick Esquire SC Founding Partner

Christina W. Lizzio Esquire NC | Partner

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL REAL ESTATE ATTORNEYS

SouthPark-Charlotte NC 704-376-8181 Uptown-Charlotte NC 704-376-8181 University-Charlotte NC 704-376-8181 Fort Mill SC 803-324-4000 Rock Hill SC 803-324-4000

FRICKTRENTLIZZIO

FrickTrentLizzio.com


CHARACTER

BACKYARD

TEXTURE

PROVISIONS

Backyard

inspiring small town communities

28

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Welcome to a 21st century preschool. We support 21st century learners and their families. Here, STEAM brings the world into every classroom, through hands-on learning in Science, Technology, Engineering , the Arts, and Math, as we prepare children to be ready for elementary school—and ready for life. • Programs for infants to school-age students • Flexible enrollment choices for busy schedules • Full-day, virtual learning support for ages 5 to 12 • Healthy meals and snacks Following CDC guidance closely, we provide a healthy, safe environment. We are: Taking temperatures at drop-off Conducting regular wellness checks Washing hands and sanitizing surfaces more frequently Wearing masks when working with children

LIVE STREAMING! Ask us about WatchMeGrow! Live streaming video of your child’s classroom on any device or computer. And stay connected with real-time updates via our brightwheel app.

Now open. Enroll today! 1339 Gold Hill Rd. • Fort Mill, SC 866.222.0269 • EverbrookAcademy.com

This institution is an equal opportunity provider. Everbrook Academy, a Learning Care Group School. ©2020 Learning Care Group, Inc. HEA17

*Pending Application with DCFS. This institution is an equal opportunity provider.


Photo by Jimmy Conover.

30

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Finding Joy Today Not Such An Absurd Idea Te x t . b y. A n g e l a . G o r r e l l

T

he year 2020 hasn’t been one to remember – in fact, for a lot of people it has been an outright nightmare. The pandemic, along with political turmoil and social unrest, has brought anxiety, heartbreak, righteous anger, and discord to many. Amid such suffering, people need some joy. FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

31


As a scholar who has investigated the role of joy in day-to-day life, I believe that joy is an incredibly powerful companion during suffering. SPEAKING AT FUNERALS, TEACHING JOY This is more than academic work for me. In late 2016, less than a year after I was hired to be on a team researching joy at Yale University, three of my family members unexpectedly died within four weeks: my cousin’s husband Dustin at 30 by suicide, my sister’s son Mason at 22 of sudden cardiac arrest, and my dad, David, at 70 after years of opioid use. While researching joy, I was speaking at funerals. At times, even reading about joy felt so absurd that I almost vowed to be anything but joyful. In 2020, many people can relate to this. I want to be clear: Joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness tends to be the pleasurable feeling we get from having the sense that life is going well. Joy, on the other hand, has a mysterious capacity to be felt alongside sorrow and even – sometimes, most especially – in the midst of suffering. This is because joy is what we feel deep in our bones when we realize and feel connected to others – and to what is genuinely good, beautiful, and meaningful – which is possible even in pain. Whereas happiness is generally the effect of evaluating our circumstances and being satisfied with our lives, joy does not depend on good circumstances. AN ILLUMINATION A couple of days after my cousin’s husband died, a small group of family members and I were shopping for funeral items when the group decided to go to the place where Dustin had died by suicide. It was getting dark and the sun had almost set. As we were taking in the landscape we suddenly noticed a

32

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photo by Jonathan Forage.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

33


Photo by Laurine Bailly.

34

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


star above the trees. Standing next to one another in a line, we looked across the sky and one of us asked whether any other stars could be seen. There were none. We realized that there was just this one exceedingly bright shining star in the sky. Gazing at the star, we felt as if Dustin had met us there, that he’d allowed that single star to be seen in the sky so that we would know he was all right. It was not the kind of relief we wanted for him. But for a few minutes, we allowed the tragedy of what had occurred in this very space just two days before to hang in the background, and we instead focused on the star. We were filled with a kind of transformative, quiet joy. And we all gave ourselves over to this moment. As scholar Adam Potkay noted in his 2007 book “The Story of Joy,” “joy is an illumination,” the ability to see beyond to something more. Similarly, Nel Noddings, Stanford professor and author of the 2013 book “Caring,” describes joy as a feeling that “accompanies a realization of our relatedness.” What Noddings meant by relatedness was the special feeling we get from caring about other people or ideas. Joy is also the feeling that can arise from sensing kinship with others, experiencing harmony between what we are doing and our values, or seeing the significance in an action, a place, a conversation, or even an inanimate object. When I teach about joy, I use an example from my family to explain this. When my sister looks at a Mason jar now – whether in someone’s hand filled with tea or bursting with flowers on a friend’s coffee table – it reminds her of her son Mason. It is not just an object she is seeing, but a relationship imbued with beauty, goodness, and meaning. It gives her a feeling that can be described only as joy.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

35


We cannot put joy on our to-do lists; it does not work that way. But there are ways we can prepare ourselves for joy. There are “gateways” to joy that help us to become more open to it. Gratitude involves bringing to mind the good that is in the world, which makes rejoicing possible. The feeling that follows contemplating nature or art that we find inspiring is often joy, as these are experiences that help people feel connected to something beyond themselves, whether to the natural world or to others’ feelings or experiences. Since “hope,” as theologian Jürgen Moltmann has said, is “the anticipation of joy,” writing out our hopes helps us to expect joy. THREE TYPES OF JOY In my book, “The Gravity of Joy,” I identify multiple kinds of joy that can be expressed even in today’s troubled times. Retrospective joy comes in vividly recalling a previous experience of unspeakable joy. For example, we can imagine in our minds an occasion when we helped someone else, or someone unexpectedly helped us, a time we felt deeply loved … the moment we saw our child for the first time. We can close our eyes and meditate on the memory, even walk through the details with someone else or in a journal and, often, experience that joy again, sometimes even more acutely. There is a kind of joy, too, that is redemptive, restorative – resurrection joy. It is the feeling that follows things that are broken getting repaired, things that we thought were dead coming back to life. This kind of joy can be found in apologizing to someone we have hurt, or the feeling that follows recommitting ourselves to sobriety, a marriage, or a dream we feel called to. Futuristic joy comes from rejoicing that we will again glimpse meaning, beauty,

36

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photo by Hanna Morris.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

37


Photo by Steve Halama.

38

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


or goodness, and seemingly against all odds feel that they are connected to our very life. This type of joy can be found, for example, through singing in a religious service, gathering to rally change, or imagining a hope we have being realized. In the midst of a year in which it is not difficult to stumble onto suffering, the good news is that we can also stumble onto joy. There is no imprisoned mind, heartbreaking time, or deafening silence that joy cannot break through. Joy can always find you.

Photo by Ivana Cajina.

aM T M T H E M I L L M AG A Z I N E

Angela Gorrell is an Assistant Professor of Practical Theology at the George W. Truett Theological Seminary of Baylor University. She worked for the Yale Center for Faith & Culture on the joy project which received funding from the John Templeton Foundation. This article was originally published on The Conversation.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

39


' SHOP, EAT, and DISCOVER . . . LOCAL EVENTS

{ { ART HEIST

A TRUE CRIME IMMERSIVE THEATER EXPERIENCE

NOV 18 - DEC 13

Blumenthal Performing Arts Center blumenthalarts.org

40

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE

'


SHOP, EAT, and DISCOVER . . . LOCAL BUSINESSES

1

p.

Burns Cadillac 800.424.0852 burnscadillac.com Providence Chiropractic 803.835.0444 providence-chiropractic.com Tilmor 1.844.255.5864 tilmor.com The Trailer Store 704.996.1998 thetrailerstore.online Waple & houk 704.954.8697 waplehouklaw.com Ladies Of Lineage Bridal Boutique 704.547.4208 Charlotte 803.233.1722 Fort Mill ladiesoflineage.com Monarch Dentistry Of Gold Hill 803.547.7779 monarchdentistryofgoldhill.com Samantha Ellison, NC/SC Realtor ® 704.756.7888 thesellison.com Frick Trent Lizzio Real Estate Attorneys 704.376.8181 Charlotte 803.324.4000 Fort Mill / Rock Hill fricktrentlizzio.com

SHOP•EAT•DISCOVER

local

29 p.40 p.43 p.55 p.57 p.67 p.68 p.70 p.

Everbrook Academy 866.222.0269 everbrookacademy.com Blumenthal Performing Arts 704.372.1000 blumenthalart.org DCI Home Resource 704.926.6000 dcihomeresource.com Steele Creek Animal Hospital 704.588.4400 keepingpetshealthy.com Blackhawk Hardware 704.525.2682 blackhawkhardware.com Palmetto Eye 803.985.2020 palmetto-eye.com Made In The Mill 803.619.0491 madeinthemill.com

'

ArtPop Street Gallery charlotte, nc artpopstreetgallery.com

{ {

2 p.4 p.6 p.8 p.9 p.14 p.15 p.17 p.27 p.

Dolce Lusso Salon & Spa 803.802.5877 baxter village 704.542.6550 stonecrest 980.859.2783 park road 803.802.5000 kingsley dolcelusso.com

shop.local shop local

for.aa . vibrant for

prosperous community

'

EXPLORETHE THEMILL.COM COM FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

41


CHARACTER

BACKYARD

TEXTURE

PROVISIONS

Texture

inspiring small town culture

42

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


CUSTOM CABINETS

¤

APPLIANCES

¤

PLUMBING FIXTURES

aPartnership

¤

TILE

¤

COUNTERTOPS

from Planning to Perfection

SHOWROOM HOURS ∙ MONDAY-FRIDAY 9AM-6PM ∙ SATURDAY 10AM-4PM 704.926.6000 ∙ DCIHOMERESOURCE.COM ∙ 1300 SOUTH BOULEVARD ∙ SUITE C ∙ CHARLOTTE, NC 28203


grateful

Are You As

As You Deserve To Be?

A

Te x t . by. R i c h ard . G u n d er m an

s a physician, I have helped to care for many patients and families whose lives have been turned upside down by serious illnesses and injuries. In the throes of such catastrophes, it can be difficult to find cause for anything but lament. Yet Thanksgiving presents us with an opportunity to develop one of the healthiest, most life-affirming and convivial of all habits – that of counting and rejoicing in our blessings.

44

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photo by Anatolii Nesterov.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

45


Photo by Annie Spratt.

46

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


GRATITUDE’S BENEFITS Research shows that grateful people tend to be healthy and happy. They exhibit lower levels of stress and depression, cope better with adversity, and sleep better. They tend to be happier and more satisfied with life. Even their partners tend to be more content with their relationships. Perhaps when we are more focused on the good things we enjoy in life, we have more to live for and tend to take better care of ourselves and each other. When researchers asked people to reflect on the past week and write about things that either irritated them or about which they felt grateful, those tasked with recalling good things were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and actually visited their physicians less. It is no surprise that receiving thanks makes people happier, but so does expressing gratitude. An experiment that asked participants to write and deliver thank-you notes found large increases in reported levels of happiness, a benefit that lasted for an entire month. PHILOSOPHICAL ROOTS One of the greatest minds in Western history, the Greek philosopher Aristotle, argued that we become what we habitually do. By changing our habits, we can become more thankful human beings. If we spend our days ruminating on all that has gone poorly and how dark the prospects for the future appear, we can think ourselves into misery and resentment. But we can also mold ourselves into the kind of people who seek out, recognize, and celebrate all that we have to be grateful for.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

47


This is not to say that anyone should become a Pollyanna, ceaselessly reciting the mantra from Voltaire’s “Candide,” “All is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.” There are injustices to be righted and wounds to be healed, and ignoring them would represent a lapse of moral responsibility. But reasons to make the world a better place should never blind us to the many good things it already affords. How can we be compassionate and generous if we are fixated on deficiency? This explains why the great Roman statesman Cicero called gratitude not only the greatest of virtues but the “parent” of them all. RELIGIOUS ROOTS Gratitude is deeply embedded in many religious traditions. In Judaism, the first words of the morning prayer could be translated, “I thank you.” Another saying addresses the question, “Who is rich?” with this answer: “Those who rejoice in what they have.” From a Christian perspective, too, gratitude and thanksgiving are vital. Before Jesus shares his last meal with his disciples, he gives thanks. So vital a part of Christian life is gratitude that author and critic G.K. Chesterton calls it “the highest form of thought.” Gratitude also plays an essential role in Islam. The 55th chapter of the Quran enumerates all the things human beings have to be grateful for – the Sun, Moon, clouds, rain, air, grass, animals, plants, rivers, and oceans – and then asks, “How can a sensible person be anything but thankful to God?” Other traditions also stress the importance of thankfulness. Hindu festivals celebrate blessings and offer thanks for them. In Buddhism, gratitude develops patience and serves as an antidote to greed, the corrosive sense that we never have enough.

48

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photo by Alexandru Acea.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

49


Photo by Alexandru Acea.

50

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


ROOTS EVEN IN SUFFERING In his 1994 book, “A Whole New Life,” the Duke University English professor Reynolds Price describes how his battle with a spinal cord tumor that left him partially paralyzed also taught him a great deal about what it means to really live. After surgery, Price describes “a kind of stunned beatitude.” With time, though diminished in many ways by his tumor and its treatment, he learns to pay closer attention to the world around him and those who populate it. Reflecting on the change in his writing, Price notes that his books differ in many ways from those he penned as a younger man. Even his handwriting, he says, “looks very little like that of the man he was at the time of his diagnosis.” “Cranky as it is, it’s taller, more legible, and with more air and stride. And it comes down the arm of a grateful man.” A brush with death can open our eyes. Some of us emerge with a deepened appreciation for the preciousness of each day, a clearer sense of our real priorities, and a renewed commitment to celebrating life. In short, we can become more grateful, and more alive, than ever. PRACTICING GRATITUDE When it comes to practicing gratitude, one trap to avoid is locating happiness in things that make us feel better off – or simply better – than others. In my view, such thinking can foster envy and jealousy. There are marvelous respects in which we are equally blessed – the same Sun shines down upon each of us, we all begin each day with the same 24 hours, and each of us enjoys the free use of one of the most complex and powerful

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

51


52

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Photo by Evie S.

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

53


resources in the universe, the human brain. Much in our culture seems aimed to cultivate an attitude of deficiency – for example, most ads aim to make us think that to find happiness we must buy something. Yet most of the best things in life – the beauty of nature, conversation, and love – are free. There are many ways to cultivate a disposition of thankfulness. One is to Photo by Alexandru Acea. make a habit of giving thanks regularly – at the beginning of the day, at meals and the like, and at day’s end. Likewise, holidays, weeks, seasons, and years can be punctuated with thanks – grateful prayer or meditation, writing thank-you notes, keeping a gratitude journal, and consciously seeking out the blessings in situations as they arise. Gratitude can become a way of life, and by developing the simple habit of counting our blessings, we can enhance the degree to which we are truly blessed.

aM T M T H E M I L L M AG A Z I N E

Richard Gunderman is Chancellor’s Professor of Radiology, Pediatrics, Medical Education, Philosophy, Liberal Arts, Philanthropy, and Medical Humanities and Health Studies at Indiana University, where he also serves as John A Campbell Professor of Radiology and Bicentennial Professor. He received his AB Summa Cum Laude from Wabash College, MD and PhD (Committee on Social Thought) with Honors from the University of Chicago, and MPH from Indiana University. He is a ten-time recipient of the Indiana University Trustees Teaching Award and received the 2012 Robert Glaser Award, the highest teaching award of the Association of American Medical Colleges. He is the author of over 800 articles and has published 15 books. More importantly, his students are widely published and have gone on to win many awards and achieve professional distinction in service to others. This article was originally published on The Conversation.

54

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


STEELE CREEK ANIMAL HOSPITAL "INNOVATIVE

THERAPY T HERAPY,

&

ENHANCED

HEALING H EALING,

DRAMATIC

IIMPROVEMENTS MPROVEMENTS"

Dr. Patricia Young with Stryker

9729 S . TRYON ST R E ET | CHA R LOT T E , NC 2 8273 7 0 4 . 5 8 8 . 4 4 0 0 | K E E P I N G P E T S H E A L T H Y . C O M


CHARACTER

BACKYARD

TEXTURE

PROVISIONS

Provisions

inspiring small town flavors + shopping

56

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


WE PROVIDE THE DECORATIONS. It’s up to you to use them right.

Locally owned and mismanaged since 1977. blackhawkhardware.com


Photo by Monika Grabkowska.

58

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Food G Gratitude ratitude Te x t b y C a n d a c e . M a t t i n g l y

B

eing thankful for food is the simplest foundation of gratitude, but many of us have different reasons to be grateful for our food. Food tells a personal story. It brings back memories that connect us to our family and friends. We identify with food in different ways as it introduces us to other cultures around the world. Preparing a dish from another country is a great way to experience and connect with another culture, but also share these flavors with our loved ones. We’ve compiled a variety of classic, yet worldly dishes here for you to add to your holiday menu. FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

59


RosemaryRoastedPotatoes 2 lb. baby potatoes, partially sliced thin 2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 tbsp. freshly chopped rosemary sea salt ground black pepper fresh rosemary sprigs Preheat oven to 400˚F. Add potatoes to baking sheet. Toss with olive oil, garlic, and rosemary and season generously with salt and pepper. Roast until crispy, 1 hour to 1 hour 15 minutes. Add more rosemary sprigs for serving.

HoneyRoastedPumpkin withSage andFeta 1 small pumpkin cut into wedges 1 tablespoon olive oil 2 teaspoons honey sea salt and dried sage feta cheese fresh sage leaves Heat the oven to 400˚F and place pumpkin wedges in a single layer on an oven tray. Drizzle with olive oil and honey, and season with sea salt and dried sage. Bake for 25 minutes until the pumpkin is cooked through. Serve with feta and fresh sage leaves.

Photo by Lilechka75.

60

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


VeganKaleCaesarSalad 1 19 oz can chickpeas 1/2 tsp olive or avocado oil 1/2 cup soft tofu 2 tsp garlic powder 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice 1 tbsp white miso paste

1 tbsp dijon mustard 2 tsp apple cider vinegar 1 tsp sea salt 1/2 tsp black pepper kale de-stemmed and finely chopped vegan parmesan

Pre-heat oven to 400˚F. Blot the chickpeas dry with paper towel. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Drizzle with the oil then sprinkle with garlic powder, salt and pepper until they’re coated. Roast for 30-40 minutes until crisped and light brown. Blend all the dressing ingredients until smooth and creamy. Place the finely chopped kale in a bowl, pour some of the dressing over and stir well. Let it sit for 5 or 10 minutes so the kale can soften a bit. Top with chickpeas and vegan parm.

Asparagus withCitrusSauce 2 lb. thin asparagus salt 1 orange

2 tbsp. light mayonnaise 1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil 1/2 tsp. packed fresh oregano leaves

Fill 12-inch skillet with 1 inch water. Cover and heat to boiling on high. Add asparagus and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Cook 4 to 5 minutes or until bright green and crisp-tender. Drain asparagus in large colander and quickly rinse under cold water. From orange, grate 1/2 teaspoon peel into small bowl. Remove a 3-inch strip of orange peel then cut into thin slivers for garnish. Squeeze 1/4 cup juice into bowl. Whisk in mayonnaise, olive oil, chopped oregano, and 1/8 teaspoon salt. Makes 1/3 cup citrus sauce. Plate asparagus then drizzle with sauce and garnish with orange peel. Photos by Deryn Macey (top) and Valter Cirillo (bottom).

FINDING GRATITUDE•EDITION 11 NO. 4•THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM

63


6 egg whites Pinch cream of tartar 1½ cups granulated sugar

Pavlova

2 cups heavy cream 2 tbsp powdered sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract fresh fruit for garnish

Preheat the oven to 250˚F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and draw a 9-inch circle in the middle. Spray lightly with non-stick cooking spray. Beat the egg whites until frothy, then add the cream of tartar. Beat to soft peaks. While continuing to beat the egg whites, gradually add the sugar and beat until glossy and stiff peaks form. Spoon the mixture onto the circle, and use a spatula to shape the egg white mixture into a circle with decorative sides. Bake for 1 hour, or until firm to the touch. Turn off the oven and open door to allow the pavlova to cool completely in the oven. Place the heavy cream, sugar, and vanilla extract in a large bowl and beat until it holds stiff peaks. Plate the pavlova, then top with the whipped cream and fresh fruit. Serve immediately.

ChocolateBabkaWreath 4¼ cups unbleached all-purpose flour ½ cup granulated sugar 2 tsp instant yeast zest of 1 small lemon 3 eggs ¼ tsp salt

1 cup unsalted butter 4½ ounces dark chocolate 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder ½ cup powdered sugar 2/3 cup granulated sugar water

In the bowl of a stand mixer with a dough hook, use your fingers to rub together the sugar and lemon zest until all of the sugar is moistened. Add the flour and yeast and mix on low speed to combine. Add the eggs and ½ cup water and mix on low speed, then increase to medium speed and mix for 5 minutes, until the dough comes together. Add salt, then add 2/3 cup butter a few cubes at a time, mixing until it is completely incorporated. Continue mixing until the dough is completely smooth, elastic and shiny. Place the dough in a large greased bowl, turning to coat it, then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. Place the chocolate, ½ cup butter and cocoa powder in a bowl and microwave in 30-second increments until completely melted. Whisk in the powdered sugar, then set aside to thicken. Divide the dough into two equal pieces.Roll the dough on a lightly floured surface into a rectangle. Spread half of the chocolate mixture over the dough, leaving a ½-inch border around the edges. Roll up the rectangle, gently cut the roll in half lengthwise, alternate crossing the pieces over each other to create a braid. Repeat with the second piece of dough and remaining chocolate filling. Transfer the two babka braids to a pan lined with parchment and shape them into a circle. Cover and allow to rise in a warm place for 1½ hours. Preheat the oven to 375˚F. Uncover and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes. While the babka is baking, combine ⅓ cup water and sugar in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. As soon as the sugar dissolves, remove from the heat and set aside. As soon as the babka comes out of the oven, brush all of the syrup evenly over the babka. Allow to cool completely before serving. Photos by Artur Rutkowski (top) and Dilyara Garifullina (bottom).

64

THEMILLMAGAZINE.COM•EDITION 11 NO. 4•FINDING GRATITUDE


Holiday Sangria 1 bottle red wine 1/2 cup spiced simple syrup 1/2 cup orange juice 1/4 cup brandy 1 chopped apple

1 sliced orange 1 cup cranberries 2 12-ounce cans sparkling seltzer fresh rosemary

To make spiced simple syrup: combine sugar and water in a large saucepan over medium heat. Whisk until sugar has dissolved. Transfer to a mason jar and add 2 cinnamon sticks and 2 whole cloves. Refrigerate for 24 hours to allow flavor to develop. Remove cinnamon and cloves before using. In a large pitcher, combine wine, orange juice, simple syrup and brandy. Stir to combine. Add fruit and refrigerate until ready to serve. Fill each glass with ice and Sangria, then top off with seltzer. Garnish with fresh rosemary.

aM T M T H E M I L L M AG A Z I N E

Photo by Rimma Bondarenko.


Dr. Paul Burt, OD and Dr. Melissa Wood, OD

2460 INDIA HOOK RD, SUITE 206, ROCK HILL, SC 29732 | 803-985-2020 | PALMETTO-EYE.COM


l efu at gr


Let's work together to protect, foster, and strengthen the local independent businesses that make Think, buy, our and source community unique.

LOCAL. MADEINTHEMILL.COM


2020 Charlotte Artist Jamie Lucido

. ..

â„¢

ArtPopStreetGallery.com

Profile for Market Style Media

The Mill Magazine Edition 11 No. 4 Finding Gratitude  

A local exchange inspiring vibrant, prosperous communities throughout the Carolina Piedmont. #charlottenc #fortmillsc #rockhillsc #waxhawnc...

The Mill Magazine Edition 11 No. 4 Finding Gratitude  

A local exchange inspiring vibrant, prosperous communities throughout the Carolina Piedmont. #charlottenc #fortmillsc #rockhillsc #waxhawnc...

Advertisement