Issue No. 02 Maricopa Motherhood Magazine

MOTHERHOOD • FAITH • RELATIONSHIP

MARICOPA MOTHERHOOD ISSUE NO. O2

EMBRACING

THE

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FEBRUARY 2023

MINISTRY

OF

MOTHERHOOD

From the Editors • Ultimate Gift of Love • Flowers from my Mother-in-Law Blueberry Muffin Recipe • February Plans • Book Review • Valentine's Day with Kids

Verse of the Year 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

our prayer

Father God, as these pages come together, we open our hearts to the mamas in our neighborhoods and community.

We enter into your gates with thanksgiving and your courts with praise for this calling, and we trust you in the process.

We ask for the mamas reading these pages to welcome the vulnerability and transparency as we dig deeper in relationship with you and those around us.

We pray for the mamas scrolling through these pages and ask that you meet each and every one of us right where we are, no matter the season. We welcome your encouragement, guidance, direction and hope. We accept your grace, strength and love. Please help us to walk in the identity you have given us, one of grace and worthiness. For those who don't have a personal relationship with Christ, we pray that the Holy Spirit will meet them in this space and open their hearts to the redeeming power of God's grace.

We love you and thank you. In Jesus' name, amen.

Maricopa Motherhood Magazine | Copyright 2023

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What's inside

3 FROM THE EDITORS by: Mandy & Jennifer

5 ULTIMATE GIFT OF LOVE by: Mandy

7 FLOWERS FROM MY MOTHER-IN-LAW by: Jennifer

9 SUGAR-FREE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS recipe

10 FEBRUARY PLANS calendar of upcoming events

11 BOOK REVIEW: "TRY SOFTER" by: Mandy

13 CELEBRATING VALENTINE'S DAY WITH KIDS by: Jennifer

15 STAY CONNECTED 16 THANK YOU 16 GIVEAWAY WINNERS

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FROM THE EDITORS

Welcome mamas.

This second issue revolves around the theme of love, as the largest holiday of “love” occurs during the month of February.

We are honored to walk alongside you and are truly blown away by the outpouring of support we received with our first issue.

As we took the time to explore the concept of love and what it means in our lives, we didn’t want to focus on the commercialized aspect that is so often seen around us, in movies or on social media that the world offers.

We are so grateful to have you here for our second issue of Maricopa Motherhood Magazine.

Thank you! Thank you to everyone who read it, shared it, commented on it, sent an email or offered us their thoughts and feedback.

We are truly blessed to have you in our corner, and we are excited to share with you this next issue!

Instead, we wanted to jump in, dig a little deeper and explore what true, meaningful, lasting love looks like, which we know can only be found from the source of all love - Jesus Christ our savior.

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We know it is an incredible gift to have the opportunity to share and connect more.

As you spend time in these pages, we encourage you to reflect on all of the love that is present in your life, whether it looks like a romantic Hallmark movie or is a quieter, more simple, in-the-trenches everyday kind of love.

Lord, at this time we come to you in prayer to ask that you meet each and every mama where they are as they turn each page and read the words we share.

We understand that this month and this holiday can take its focus off of you and turn us towards feelings the enemy directs us to.

Help us to keep this a space where we can connect, link arms, and love each other well while growing closer to you.

Father, we ask that you be with any mamas wrestling with uncertain feelings as this month and day approaches.

We pray that you pursue them with your steadfast love that is all encompassing and faithful.

We pray these things in your name, Amen.

Thank you for spending some of your precious time with us today.

We are so grateful you're here.

Mandy & Jennifer

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ULTIMATE GIFT OF LOVE

Written by: Mandy

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? a) OMGOSH I LOVE IT SO MUCH b) Ew, that Hallmark holiday is gross and just a waste of money c) Meh d) All of the above No judgment here. I have felt all of those at some point in my life. Including option D: All of the above. And as I reflect through the seasons to process why, I can’t help but share.

Let’s dig into A: OMGOSH I LOVE IT SO MUCH When I was little, elementary age, I remember my parents surprising me and my sister with a special gift on Valentine’s Day. The most memorable year was with a shaggy dog stuffed animal named “Smooch.” I’m not sure when, but eventually those gifts from my parents stopped. Maybe it was some transitions my family experienced, maybe it was because I became a salty preteen that “Didn’t need that crap.”

Please excuse the language. In reality, I probably said something worse, because like I said, I was salty.

When I was in high school, I still remember looking forward to Valentine’s Day, though.

One year I decided to decorate the inside of a guy’s locker with Hershey kisses and hugs. I snuck into the school early to make sure I had enough time to tape each little chocolate to completely cover the locker door.

When he opened it, I know he was surprised.

He was so surprised he didn’t talk to me the whole day! He was so surprised all of my friends immediately found out and teased me that I would do something so silly for a guy. Actually, he was so surprised he convinced his older sister, who was a senior and could drive, to run to the gas station and grab a last minute rose to hand to me as the last bell rang. continued |

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Needless to say I quickly moved to B: EW, that Hallmark holiday is gross and just a waste of money.

I spent a lot of years between level B and level C: Meh on the scale of “How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?” In fact, I didn’t even consider excitement a part of my Valentine’s Day vocabulary until 2013 when my oldest’s due date was announced. Even then, I told her to hang tight and come late so her birthday wouldn’t be lumped in with Valentine’s Day. It took me awhile, and by awhile I mean a few years, to connect Valentine’s Day to love.

But it didn't take me as long to figure out love’s connection to Jesus.

For the longest time, I assumed Valentine’s Day was about how people show me love.

When I started to understand God’s incredible promises and the ultimate gift of sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sin, it sank deep into my heart that maybe I should actually use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity for me to show others that kind of love.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

-John 3:16 (ESV) I slowly started to use this special day to show others that I love them. Thinking about how God sent his son to die for me, as a gift to show his love for me made me prioritize this day a little differently.

During this season I was an independent mama, so I started by focusing on my threeyear-old daughter, whose birthday was close to this “holiday.” We wrote valentines for her friends at school, and for her party, we got special socks for her friends we saw on the weekend and I surprised her with a special gift.

The next year, when that little girl was four years old and coloring her last minute valentine cards for her preschool class, she was singing and writing in her cute preschool scribbles, “Dear Jesus. You love me no matter what. Happy Valentine's Day!” Maybe Valentine’s Day is just a “hAllMaRk HoLiDaY oUt tO GeT PeOpLe tO SpEnD mOnEy.” But to me it is more.

It is another day I have the opportunity to focus on how much God loves me. It is a specific day for me to show others the love of Christ and look for areas in my life where I can be the hands and feet of Jesus.

So, now that I’ve processed and walked you through how I feel about Valentine’s Day, I pray my vulnerability has encouraged you to reflect to discover your perspective of this approaching holiday.

Don’t worry, I still get caught up in the world’s mumbo jumbo perception of the holiday sometimes. I wish I didn’t.

Sometimes I get caught up in the birthday planning for a little girl with a birthday so close to this day and forget how far I’ve come in learning of love and accepting love through this date on the calendar.

And I’ve definitely been disappointed when my husband doesn’t walk through the door with flowers.

But, as I was finishing up writing this to share, the song “God Really Loves Us” by Crowder came on the radio. My four-year-old son exclaimed, “Baby! God loves you. Daddy, God loves you. And Daddy, God loves me.” So, this year I feel like it is really clear for me to welcome love and show it to others; fully and wholly for this specific day.

I pray you look for these opportunities, too.

Mandy and her husband do life blended with four kids ages eight and under. You can find her chasing tiny humans and squeezing in homeschool lessons by day or eating tacos and country dancing during date night. Mandy enjoys working closely with mamas to integrate unresolved experiences to identify triggers to welcome wholeness while growing closer to Jesus.

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FLOWERS FROM MY MOTHER-IN-LAW Written by: Jennifer

The first year my husband and I were together, we planned a date on February 13th because we were both scheduled to work on Valentine’s Day.

Being our first Valentine’s Day together, I made sure to buy him a present. I can’t remember exactly what it was - something kitschy, like a stuffed bear wearing a bow tie, holding a box of chocolates, or something along those lines.

He picked me up at my house, and I brought out the gift bag with the present safely hidden inside, and I placed it on the floorboard by my feet. I remember being so awkward, not knowing when to give it to him.

We went to dinner, and the present sat in the car. He did not seem to have a gift bag with him, and I honestly didn’t know when to give him this silly gift.

We went the whole night, and finally when he brought me home, I handed the gift over.

He got a half smile on his face, and sheepishly told me that he planned to give me something the next day, since that was actually Valentine’s Day. Since this was our first year together, I of course was gracious and told him that I totally understood!

He kept his word, and the next day at work, I walked into a lovely bouquet of flowers. I’m not a plant person, so I don’t remember everything in the bouquet, but I do remember it had two blooming lilies, and I was in bliss. To this day, it is still the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I have ever received.

Cut to last year’s Valentine’s Day, our 17th Valentine’s Day together: no presents were exchanged. We did not go out on a date. And I think the only acknowledgement was a verbal “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

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And that beautiful bouquet from 17 years ago? It was actually picked out and purchased by my mother-in-law, and she hasn’t bought me another Valentine’s bouquet since my husband asked her to that first year.

Even sharing this story now, I’m giggling, because it’s so indicative of my husband’s personality. He views the whole holiday as silly, and too commercial, and a waste of money.

To be honest, I feel the same way. I don’t think that we need just one day to share our love with each other.

But at the same time, I sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy when I see the barrage of bouquets adorning social media on Valentine’s Day. And if I don’t keep it in check, that small spark of jealousy can be just the crack that the enemy is looking for. That miniscule spark can turn into a full-blown flame if I start to feed it.

Truthfully, my husband and I are quite happy in our marriage. We’ve had our ups and downs as any marriage does, but we’re in the best place we’ve ever been. We are a team, and he is my best friend.

He shows his love for me in more ways than I can count.

He’s an amazing and loving father; he’s supportive of my hopes and dreams; he’s left work to pick me up in a broken-down car on more than one occasion; and he always lets me eat more than my half of whatever dessert we’re “sharing.”

But if I listen to that spark of unmet expectation, I start to feel discontent with the good things I have. I feel entitled to more.

Instead of my husband offering a gift out of his love for me, it becomes an expectation I have of him, and if I don’t get what I want, I grow angry and bitter. And all of a sudden, I’m no longer satisfied with what I do have. I want something else.

This is a dangerous place to be friends. This is when the enemy sneaks in with the intent to destroy your relationship.

He tells you that you’re not loved or appreciated. He tells you that you’d be better off with someone else or even alone. He tells you that what you have is not good enough.

But that is a lie.

And you don’t have to listen to it.

The love in your relationship cannot be boiled down to one day on the calendar. The love your spouse has for you is not measured by how many bouquets of flowers you’ve received throughout your relationship.

Are you expecting to receive something on Valentine’s Day? Did you express that expectation to your spouse? And are you only expecting, or are you giving as well?

If I asked my husband for flowers, he would absolutely buy them for me.

So maybe, my expectations are the true problem. I don’t want to give the enemy any reason to infiltrate my relationship, and I implore you to not allow him to either.

Express how you’re feeling with each other; share what your expectations are; and look for the little ways that true love is expressed in your relationship.

And maybe call your mother-in-law. She might give you the best bouquet of flowers you’ve ever received.

Jennifer and her husband are currently in the trenches raising three young children. Jennifer spends her days filling juice cups and trying to write content for her website. She is passionate about helping believers grow stronger in their faith.

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SUGAR-FREE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS These full-size muffins are sugar-free and can be adjusted to taste. Instead of blueberries and cinnamon, consider chocolate chips, or use the Kodiak Cakes dark chocolate mix for extra chocolate.

Ingredients: 1 cup unsweetened applesauce 1 cup Kodiak Cakes flapjack & waffle mix 2 eggs 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 cup blueberries Desired garnishments

Directions: 1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Grease or line a 12-count muffin tin.

2. Mix together the applesauce, waffle mix, eggs and cinnamon. Fold in blueberries.

3. Divide the mixture among the prepared tin. Top with desired garnishments.

4. Bake for 18 minutes until an inserted toothpick comes out mostly clean.

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BOOK REVIEW: "TRY SOFTER" Written by: Mandy

I haven’t always been trauma informed.

College prepared me for lots of things but it did not prepare me for what I would experience after obtaining my degree and first job. It definitely didn’t prepare me for marriage, parenthood and everything that comes along with it.

As a blended family, we navigate all the things as a typical family with four kids plus an unbelievable amount of scenarios that can lead to stress and conflict. After a couple years of these patterns we were experiencing, along with some recent results and findings in our court cases, I became curious. How did we get here? Why does this keep happening?

My curiosity as a mom, wife, and blended family made me pursue all things trauma related, which also led me to the trauma integration process. I have read ALL THE BOOKS. “The Body Keeps Score” probably being the most influential.

There are incredible books and resources out there that explain trauma and the process behind it. But reading “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber was different. This book wasn’t a bunch of amazing neuroscience mumbo jumbo, although she does an incredible job explaining the brain in simplified terms that are easy to not only understand, but to apply and relate to our everyday scenarios.

This was the first trauma informed book that within the pages I stopped and felt, deep in my heart, that I did not need to rush any healing process. That didn’t stop me from bingeing on the book and finishing it in three days. Highly do not recommend it, by the way. Unless you process like me. In that case, read it as quickly as you want with a highlighter in hand and be prepared to go back and diligently reread the encouragement, resources and tips, at your pace, in God’s grace in a safe and inviting space to truly begin the deep work of healing.

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Aundi brings you through her personal story, and I was able to take and pick pieces I could relate to. That type of vulnerability is rarely shared within pages of previous books I’ve read. Beyond that, Aundi is able to biblically show us how God designed our bodies and minds to not only survive but actually work in a process together to grow closer to Him, renew our mind, heal, and process our experiences.

At the end of every chapter is a section to “Try Softer” where Aundi prompts readers to pause and consider a few questions or exercises. She includes scripture and affirmations to come alongside you as you reflect or become more aware of yourself, and for me, my loved ones under my roof.

My favorite parts of this book are the pages with little sub notes along the edge of the page. Sometimes Aundi goes in depth to explain a term or give examples. On other pages, she describes how to walk through a certain process such as setting a boundary, and others she details scripture to reference and affirmations to honor your journey.

Since finishing the book, I’m working through it more slowly along with the workbook. I’m so thankful for the direction and guidance from Aundi’s book as I pursue connections to places of my heart I haven’t yet understood or seen. Aundi is a trauma therapist as well as a trauma survivor which allows her to provide research and vulnerability while offering biblical truths in God’s word. From relatable stories to simple and practical resources with tools, this is what I have been searching for to not only take the next step in my healing process, but to understand my children better, as well as my other deepest and closest relationships.

Aundi’s new book “Strong releases March 21, 2023.

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“Try Softer” by Aundi Kobler “Try Softer Workbook” by Aundi Kobler

*This post contains affiliate links. You can read our full affiliate disclosure here.

Mandy and her husband do life blended with four kids ages eight and under. You can find her chasing tiny humans and squeezing in homeschool lessons by day or eating tacos and country dancing during date night. Mandy enjoys working closely with mamas to integrate unresolved experiences to identify triggers to welcome wholeness while growing closer to Jesus.

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CELEBRATING VALENTINE'S DAY WITH KIDS

Written by: Jennifer

When my kids had a birthday when they were babies and toddlers, I would tell their party guests to not bring them any gifts. It just felt like it would go to waste.

I have a few ideas based on the different ways to show love.

In fact, we didn’t even hold a first birthday party for my second child. I didn’t really see the point.

For kids who thrive with kind words, a simple card might be just the way to make their Valentine’s Day special. Or, you could cut out little hearts and write down some of the reasons that you love them on each heart.

Tape them to their bedroom door, or lay them out like confetti on the breakfast table for a fun morning surprise.

But as they have gotten older, parties, cakes, and gifts have become a necessity. It’s not a birthday without a celebration in their eyes, and they want to know that I see them, and that I care about them. They want to feel special.

And I totally get it. In a lot of ways, I feel the same way.

So as we head into Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking of ways that I can make my kids feel special, and loved, and seen.

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service One year for Valentine’s Day, we decided as a family to bless those around us instead of only focusing on our little family. We bought the same character cards elementary school kids use and filled goody bags with cards and candy. We walked around our neighborhood, delivering the bags to those around us. continued |

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After blessing our neighbors, we got in the car as a family and dropped off goody bags at the homes of friends and family. It was so much fun to deliver these simple things to the people we love, and it’s a great memory that we have to share as a family.

Gifts I don’t know how your kids are, but my kids LOVE the dollar store. When I walk in there, I do see some value in a few items, but mostly I just see throwaway junk. My kids though?

They see an entire store full of items that they can actually buy with the few coins they have jangling in their pockets.

To start his day off right, I try to give him a big, toothy, good morning smile and a giant hug and kiss on top of his head. Even if he’s cranky from just waking up, he appreciates the affection. To make the day extra special, try giving one hug for every year they’ve been alive, or maybe go out of your way to sit next to your cuddler during a family movie.

There are a lot of ways that we can show love to our kids on Valentine’s Day to help them feel special. We don’t know what kind of day they are going to have with their peers, but we can at least make them feel extra special at home.

And they love the Valentine’s gifts they are able to buy for their parents and siblings. So one way we have made Valentine’s Day fun for them is by taking them to the dollar store and letting them pick out small gifts for each other, and we buy them a small gift as well.

That way, on Valentine’s Day, they are sure to get at least one gift.

Quality Time My kids love family game nights, and we’ve had several fun Fridays where we’ve purchased a new game for us to play together. Or we’ve set up an ice cream sundae bar or a make your own pizza night.

Sometimes, just naming a night as special makes it special.

So for Valentine’s Day, we’ve gotten a heartshaped pizza to celebrate with the kids, and just the fact that it’s in a different shape makes regular pizza so much more fun. Pair that with a family movie, and it’s a great night!

Physical Touch My son is a cuddler. He needs hugs and cuddles to keep his emotional tank full, and when it’s been too long since he’s gotten a hug, he gets cranky.

Jennifer and her husband are currently in the trenches raising three young children. Jennifer spends her days filling juice cups and trying to write content for her website. She is passionate about helping believers grow stronger in their faith.

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THANK YOU! Thank you for joining us for this issue of Maricopa Motherhood Magazine. We are truly humbled by the response to our first issue, and we pray that as we continue on, you will continue to find value and truth within these pages.

We sincerely thank you for continuing on this journey with us. We wouldn't be here without your support!

We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers -1 Thessalonians 1:2 (ESV)

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