November 2019 MARE Moment

MARE MOMENT

Issue11-November 2019

News from the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange

Photo by Nate Richards

National Adoption Month November is National Adoption Month and is a very special month here at MARE. I don’t think it’s an accident that the month chosen includes Thanksgiving, a day we give thanks for all we have and our families! We have been involved in this celebration since Governor Dukakis began holding a proclamation ceremony in his State House office in the 1980s. We arranged to have adoptive families there to celebrate their adoption and we used the occasion to encourage others to consider adoption from foster care. Since then we’ve evolved and embraced National Adoption Day, which we celebrate on the Friday before Thanksgiving with the adoptions of over 100 children in several courthouses throughout the state. We have a full month of activities and celebrations that are highlighted in this issue.

The spirit of National Adoption Month is a contagious celebration of adoption as a wonderful way to build a family. I’ve been fortunate to have attended many events over the last 38 years, all of which are uplifting, celebratory events. Yet, the message that remains a part of each and every event, is that there is a lot more work to do. We have over 790 children today that MARE is recruiting a family for. Let’s use the chances we have with the media, judges, public officials, legislators, experienced adoptive families, and the general public to spread the word – there are kids here in Massachusetts that need permanent families and you could very well be one!!

Governor Dukakis, 1986

National Adoption Day, Brockton, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Lisa Funaro

Executive Director

National Adoption Month Proclamation, Springfield, 2018

Photo by Dave and Michelle Adventure Photography

National Adoption Month 2019 7

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Mayor Sarno National Adoption Month Proclamation We’ll celebrate National Adoption Month in Western Massachusetts with an official proclamation from Mayor Domenic Sarno. More details here.

Governor Baker National Adoption Month Proclamation We are pleased to partner with Governor and Mrs. Baker again this year to present portraits of waiting children in the Governor’s Office at the Massachusetts State House to help raise awareness about foster care adoption.

National Adoption Day Families will gather at courthouses across the Commonwealth to celebrate their adoptions during the 17th Annual Massachusetts National Adoption Day celebration.

Enchanted Village by Jordan’s Furniture A special thanks to our partners at Jordan’s Furniture for hosting this annual gathering celebrating families who adopted from foster care in 2019.

All Month State House Project Over 45 legislators at the State House will be hosting portraits for children waiting in foster care in their offices in order to raise awareness about adoption from foster care.

Boston City Hall Hosts the Heart Gallery Boston City Hall will be hosting the digital heart gallery in their lobby for the entire month of November. Be sure to swing by and check it out if you are in the area!

SUPPORT MARE

Photo by Jill Smith

Goodbye with Gratitude In mid- October, we bid a sad goodbye to Megan Dolan, our Director of Development. Megan was with MARE for 3 years and worked tirelessly on gaining funding for MARE through grant writing, individual donors, and special events. Among her great successes were receiving grant monies for our new Weekend Family Connections Program and the 10th Annual Jordan’s Furniture Walk/Run for Adoption, which raised $100,000 and included a Super Hero theme that was embraced by all!

Megan is returning to practicing law as an attorney for the courts, representing children in the custody of DCF. We wish Megan the best!

OTHER HAPPENINGS Seeking Social Worker Nominations!

Each fall, MARE hosts an awards banquet to recognize the outstanding work of DCF and contracted agency adoption staff. If you have worked with a Massachusetts social worker who has gone above and beyond, we’d love to hear from you! Please send a few sentences about why you are nominating them for recognition to Bridget Chiaruttini at bridgetc@mareinc.org by November 15th.

National Adoption Day Shining Star Talent Extravaganza Child & Family Services welcomes adoptive families to take part in a National Adoption Day Shining Star Talent Extravaganza! Families are encouraged to bring their talents (like playing an instrument, singing a song, performing a dance, reading a poem, etc) and share them with the community. The performers can be children who are adopted or in a pre-adoptive placement and/or with their parent(s), or just the adoptive parent.

The event costs $10.00 per family. They will be serving a light lunch, have face painting and some fun activities for the children, prior to the show.

For more information and to register: https://child-familyservices.org/upcoming-events/

How Adoption Works The AdoptED podcast has a new segment! We started the AdoptED podcast to provide a forum for an informative and entertaining look at the world of adoption from foster care that you can listen to in your car, on a train, or at work. Now we are pleased to offer a weekly segment called “How Adoption Works” that will explain and explore bite-sized topics like how the DCF application process or MARE’s traveling Heart Gallery work.

Listen and subscribe on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, or Stitcher!

ADOPTION STORIES Meet The Crowder Family

Most parents think that their job of parenting is more or less over once their children reach adulthood. There isn’t much stress; they don’t have to sacrifice weekends for birthday parties or soccer tournaments, and no worrying about how they are going to put together a science fair project the night before it is due.

For Sharon, she had done all that before with her three adult sons from a previous marriage. With her and her husband Marcus, however, they wanted to grow their own family between the two of them. With Sharon’s ‘expertise’ as an older mother, she thought she was ready to do it all over again, with more knowledge and patience for raising younger kids.

What prompted them to even think about adoption was a simple interaction with a social worker, not long before they officially began the adoption process. The social worker asked if the couple ever thought about adopting, and after that, Sharon and Marcus talked about it and decided to explore the process. In 2014, the couple began the MAPP training and home study process. Six months later, they were ready to grow their family.

Not unlike other Massachusetts families looking to adopt, Sharon and Marcus started attending MARE events, where they met many of the children whose profiles they had seen on the MARE website. “Going to the events gave us a clear idea,” says Marcus. It took a bit of time, but Sharon re-

members when and where she was when she got the call that they had been matched with a sibling group available for placement. “I couldn’t contain myself – I just started calling people.”

Sharon recounts how she was scared to tell her sons that she and Marcus were in the process of adopting. She remembers telling her older son that they had gotten a placement, and he didn’t think she was serious at first. After realizing that this was the real deal, however, and seeing the pictures of his now younger sisters, he and his other brothers welcomed the girls into the family with open arms.

When Sharon and Marcus adopted their daughters, Angel was going into the first grade, and Cassidy was going to be in third grade. The two girls are just like any other children, they like science and gym class, as well as going to summer camp and seeing their camp friends every year.

They are also like any other children who have had trauma in the past, or who have current medical issues, both of which were driving certain behaviors not too long after the adoption.

Sharon notes that being a mom of older children helped in dealing with certain anxieties and other medical-related behaviors that Angel and Cassidy were expressing. Sharon explained that Angel would display certain aggressive behaviors at first, but with outside help and resources, she no longer displays those negative behaviors. Between therapy, medicine and even martial arts, Angel and her parents have figured out how to best channel and treat her anxiety.

Cassidy also has anxiety from her past trauma, but has found different ways to cope, for example, doing breathing exercises with her mom. “Even with biological children you have issues. [foster and adopted children] are no different… they just need a second chance; they didn’t get asked for the cards they were dealt,” Sharon said.

Angel and Cassidy speak positively about their own adoption experience, despite certain challenges they may have faced. Cassidy explains to her friends how lucky she and Angel are, and that even though it was a long journey, they are very lucky. Angel also discusses it with her friends, saying that it’s “awesome,” but doesn’t really think of herself as being adopted. “They are my parents,” she puts simply.

Sharon praises DCF when it comes to their daughters.

“DCF could not have made a better match,” she says. Sharon points out that she and Angel have a lot of similarities, ranging from certain habits such as talking with their hands and clumsiness of knocking over a drink on the table. Marcus and Cassidy are similar in demeanor as well, being described as the quiet and ‘chill’ ones of the family.

The Crowder’s are just your run-of-the-mill family. They prank each other, motivate each other and are always there to help one another out. Because of their story and experiences, the Crowder’s make it a point to be a resource for other families as well. Sharon met Diane Tomaz, former Director of Family Support Services, at one of the Jordan’s Furniture events and she had asked if Sharon wanted to be a mentor, to which Sharon agreed. Sharon is very active as a mentor, as well as Marcus, who enjoys the ease of talking with prospective parents. Even Angel and Cassidy do their part at MARE events, sharing their experience as children being adopted with prospective adoptive parents, and children waiting to be adopted.

What the family hopes to share with everyone is that the journey is worth the waiting, classes, home studies, patience, etc. Sharon concludes that, “[the process] is challenging, just stay with it, because it is very rewarding in the end.”

Interested in reading more adoption stories?

Read more at www.mareinc.org

MEET OUR CHILDREN Alyssa

Age 14 Registration # 6195 Alyssa is an affectionate, alert thirteen-year-old girl. Alyssa enjoys toys with movement and sounds. She is also a fan of bouncing on therapy balls, and watching Disney movies!

Alyssa is able to communicate through her facial expressions and physical gestures.

Learn More

Jessica & Orlando Age 9 & 13 Registration # 6726, 6730

Jessica and Orlando are siblings who want to be adopted together. Jessica is an engaging, friendly, kind, upbeat and intelligent girl who loves to be active. Orlando is a sweet, friendly and charming boy. He likes to be active and prefers to be outdoors, rather than playing inside.

Learn More

Elijah

Age 8 Registration # 6419 Elijah is a very polite and friendly young boy. He is great at making friends and making others laugh.

At times Elijah is very energetic and enjoys being active. Elijah likes playing outdoors, building with Legos and doing arts and crafts. Elijah’s favorite activities are ones done outside like camping, fishing, hiking and biking.

Learn More

Chloe

Age 13 Registration # 6334 Chloe is an outgoing, friendly and social teenage girl. Chloe’s favorite activities are listening to music, working on arts & crafts projects, attending dance classes, and spending time with her friends. She also loves animals and would like to go horseback riding one day.

Learn More Photo by Patty Axford

We find adoptive homes for children and teens in foster care.

617-964-6273 www.mareinc.org massadopt Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange 19 Needham Street, Suite 206, Newton, MA 02461