Becoming a human casino
What makes gambling addictive is the fact that you don’t win every time. It’s the unpredictability, because dopamine is released when we anticipate. If something becomes too predictable, dopamine production stops.
Dopamine and other neurotransmitters are released when attraction is built. And the same unpredictability is crucial.
A guy gets friend-zoned when he becomes too predictable. If he’s a good seducer however, he’ll use unpredictable stimulation, a mix positive expressions and playfully challenging (teasing) while leaving most of who he is to imagination.
The moment he becomes too predictable, tension is lost, and you’ve lost her.
There are many ways to increase your level of unpredictability in texting and therefore attraction, through several strategies: The sequential order of your sentences.
The words you use.
The details you choose to focus on.
The topics you introduce.
Anticipation-building questions.
There are tactics to stimulate dopamine but there are also frameworks to follow to make sure you stay in the sweet spot. The sweet spot, is what we call not being too nice (and ending up in the friend zone) but also not coming off to hot (like 80% of guys on dating apps).
What you’ll learn in this book
The goal of this book is ultimately to increase your emotional intelligence and understand why certain seduction strategies work, on a universal level. When you understand the deeper purpose, you can adapt them to your personal style.
The goal is not to learn how to manipulate the female mind, but to give you a toolbox to use to create meaningful intimate connections. For you and for her.
We’ll dive deep why certain emotions are essential when building attraction, but also the timeline, where to start and where to finish.
The path to an intimate connection follows a pattern. Part of our brains are still very primitive and therefore easy to predict, wherever in the world you are. Cultural nuances in communcation do exist but the central seductive patterns still apply.
Seduction is nothing but an emotional ride.
You are in the drivers seat, while the car you are in do matter (physical attactiveness), it’s really your awareness, experience and intelligence that will determine if you reach your desired destinations or not. The seductive journey will always consist of four main emotional roads:
1. Intrigue
2. Security
3 Connection
4. Seduction
Pt 1: Intrigue.
Intrigue equals focus. Getting a person’s full focus in 2025, is hard. If I met you on the street, why should I give you my time? My focus? And the fact is, it’s easier to highjack someone’s focus IRL, than on social media and dating apps. Just having the balls to walk up to a girl immediately will make you stand out, since guys don’t do that as much anymore.
IRL you have your body language and how you carry yourself, your scent, your voice. If you have the nerves and gut to walk up to a woman, you will have her full focus for a few seconds. On dating apps and social media, which are visual platforms, we have to work with the RSF factors to spark the very first intrigue, which we’ll cover later, to even get the match in the first place.
We’ll cover the theory behind intrigue, in a tangible way. Intrigue is nonverbal, meaning this phase is not about what you write. Intrigue must have been established before opening a DM, message, dating app chat etc.
Pt. 2 Security.
The road of intrigue is the shortest, but if you make it through you’ll soon
enter the longer road of security. This is where your current emotional state will be transmitted. She will feel what you feel. Human are incredible sensitive at picking up emotional states, and so it’s a lot harder to try and fake it, then to actually put yourself in a good state, so we focus on the latter. If you have a calm energy and show approachability, you slowly build trust.
Security is the most fundamental aspect of attraction for women. Just as a pair of boobs will get your attention, a calming energy will have hers. The biggest misconception of female attraction is that it lies in physical attributes. Security is emitted through energy. If you are in a calm non nonneedy state, it will make her feel serene, through mirror neurons (if IRL). If chatting, your texting won’t feel forced, and it will be a downhill instead of an uphill. We use a certain practice to put us in the best possible state, which we’ll introduce later.
Pt. 3 Connection
This is where verbal communication is introduced. The words you use. The things you say. Language holds emotion.
If this phase is executed right, you’ll start to become special in her eyes. She starts associating you with other attributes, not just security. In the connection phase, it’s important to maintain integrity and not give everything away. The stories you tell reflect deeper traits. We will explore the S.P.E.C.I.A.L formula for this. Its essentially about helping her discover new things about herself, while slowly revealing your deeper traits.
Pt. 4 Seduction
9/10 women will only have sex with you if they think you are special. No connection means no nudes. So you can’t just teleport to the road of seduction (except for the 10%, which usually are the women on Feeld). But in most cases, you’ll have to do the full drive. This is where dopamine and neurotransmitters become crucial. When dopamine and oxytocin are flowing freely, you are already having sex. Every girl is different. Some warm up fast. Some take time. But almost all want to feel something before they feel everything. We are going to explore 3 effective ways to move the convo into the waters of sexting.
Women Want to Feel Desired
Let’s make one thing clear: women do want to be seduced. They want to feel chosen. Craved. Wanted. And few words carry more weight than openly expressing your desire for her.
Expressed at the right moment, to the right woman, in the right state—it doesn’t push her away. It pulls her closer. Really close. It activates something in her few other words can.
But you can’t skip the build-up.
There are thousands of girls on Feeld, Tinder, even Hinge—looking for something casual, like right now*.*
They’re open to sex. Hookups. A short-term spark. But only if the energy feels right.
Only if they feel wanted, not used or needed. It’s important to unlearn any hesitations of openly expressing desire that your past might have created. If you express a desire for a woman without a connection in place, we have a problem. But if you DON’T show or express desire for a woman with a connection, you leave potential on the table. There are good ways and bad ways to do this, but it’s the most powerful thing one can say if expressed at the right time. It needs to be used with caution and only if the desire is actually there, because women can fall in love over text.
Why emotional connection is crucial
The best seducers in the world fall into two camps: They either build deep emotional connection—or they radiate a calm, grounded energy that makes people feel safe. Not macho. Not loud. Calm. It’s not about “being masculine.” Guys like Pharrell gets more sexual action than 90% of ultra-masculine dudes. Because calm energy is deeply attractive. Some call it “big dick energy.” But it has nothing to do with body parts.
It’s a mental state. A vibe. In real life, that calmness is magnetic. But over text, it’s harder to transmit. Which is why emotional connection matters even more. That’s your superpower on apps like Feeld, Hinge, Tinder, Bumble and Instagram.
Let’s start the emotional drive i.e the road to seductive texting.
Step 01: Intrigue
Before you type a single message, understand this: The moment you text her, she’s doing one thing—checking your profile. She’s not just reading. She’s feeling.
And what she feels will be a mix of two things:
1. The impression your profile leaves
2. The vibe of your message
That emotional cocktail? It’s what decides whether she replies or ignores. You’re not trying to blow her mind here. But 80% of intrigue is nonverbal. Your profile—whether it’s on Instagram, Hinge, Tinder, or Feeld—tells a story. It doesn’t just show your face. It shows your world. And she is now imagining what it feels like to be around you. The #1 emotion her subconscious is looking for? Security.
Security can be broken down into more granular traits. Social influence, intelligence, kindness, approachability, integrity, calmness, to name a few. It’s about signaling you’re not a stranger to connection. Historically, humans who haven’t been part of a group, are a lot less likely to survive. Hence why social proof is one of the strongest cognitive biases globally. Social proof and status is way more important than your jawline, and any other body part.
Like everything else, it can be elevated and improved and we’ve come of with a tangible way to improve your visual intrigue. Introducing the 5 RSF Factors:
The 5 RSF Factors
Guys obsess over abs, height, jawlines and physical traits on dating apps, but still struggle.
I know, because I’ve the data. I get 5+ requests in my mail daily from guys wanting help with their dating profiles. And the majority of these guys look conventionally attractive.
Meanwhile, the guys pulling 20+ matches a day? They’re playing a different game entirely.
They’ve dialed in 5 simple factors—none of which require perfect genetics. Just awareness and a little effort. We call them the 5 RSF Factors. And if your profile nails these? Everything you send (using the opening framework) will hit 10x harder.
Even though this is prep work, it matters to your texting success so let’s quickly break the RSF factors down.
RSF Factor #1: Facial Cues Trigger Feelings
You don’t need facial model genetics. You need the right emotion on your face, in your photos.
Your face has 43 muscles. The way they form based on your emotional state —relaxed jaw, soft eyes, slight smile—transmit the same emotion over to her through mirror neurons. She doesn’t just see calm confidence. She feels it. In microseconds, her brain is making decisions: Do I trust him?
Do I feel drawn to him?
Do I want to talk so him?
Facial expression expert Paul Ekman showed how we judge warmth, status, and trust in literal milliseconds—just from micro-expressions. And the numbers back it up:
– A real smile (Duchenne style) doubles likability (Frontiers in Psychology, 2020) – Eye contact alone boosts perceived attractiveness by 21% (Princeton, 2019) – Expressive faces are seen as more trustworthy and approachable (Todorov, 2008)
So no, you don’t need a chiseled jaw.
You need a feeling on your face—one she wants to feel too.
You most likely aren’t a guy that takes 100 selfies of himself daily, and so whenever someone pulls out a camera, you feel a little awkward, just because you aren’t used to be photographed.
So unless you are in a deeply relaxed state in your photos, you’ll have to fix this now, to maximize intrigue (and matches). Since the face holds so much emotion, it’s the strongest lever. The hack is to download an app called Face App, and use the impressions feature subtly. Try the “passionate” setting on level 2-3. If you think it’s unethical to mess with facial expressions, you’ll
have to retake your photos in a truly relaxed state to maximize intrigue.
RSF Factor #2: Body Language
Body Language Beats Biceps by 1000x
While height or fit matters to some, here’s what matter to most: How you carry yourself. A relaxed stance says, “I know who I am.” Crossed arms / closed posture says, “I don’t want to be here.”
Research shows:
Expansive, relaxed postures make people seem more confident, trustworthy, and approachable. Defensive cues? They light up the brain’s threat detection system.
What you show physically changes how someone feels emotionally. Comfort is contagious.
Tension is too. The tricky part? Hard to fix this in editing. It’s baked into the photo. You can crop photos to remove any sluggish / defensive body language. Since body language holds emotion just as facial expressions, it will affect the intrigue in your profile.
Supporting Research:
• Expansive body postures increase perceived attractiveness by +33% (PNAS, 2016)
• Open postures enhance trust and approachability within 500ms of viewing (Psychological Science, 2014)
• Crossed arms or poor stance lowers perceived confidence and increases “pass” rates in blind swipe tests (internal RSF data, 2024)
RSF Factor #3: The Setting Sets the Story
No one says it out loud, but the moment she sees your photo—she’s clocking everything. Not just your face. Not just your body. But the world around you.
A rooftop at golden hour signals “He has a life.” A crumpled hoodie on a sagging couch? “He probably doesn’t.” In dating, your background becomes your implied personality. She fills in the blanks—because her brain is wired to. A travel photo says curiosity. A dim gym mirror says effort… but not much else. Research:
– Swipe rates jump 42% with visually interesting backdrops (Hancock, 2023) – People judge income, intelligence, and compatibility based on setting alone (Buss & Schmitt, 2020) – Our eye-tracking data shows women register backgrounds before faces (RSF, 2023)
Your background is either your wingman—or your red flag. So look behind you. Is it telling the story you want told? The good news? It’s the easiest RSF factor to fix.
AI can completely swap out your background. Midjourney works well for this. The background holds social proof. So, unless you want to take photos in locations that signal a strong social life, swap your backgrounds with AI to a lively setting.
RSF Factor #4: Caring Looks Good on You
Style is the fastest way to show you care. And in dating, caring is wildly attractive. Because it doesn’t just say, “I look good.” It says, “I showed up with intention.” Effort is shorthand for emotional availability. It also signals intellect to some extent. It tells her: I care about how I show up—for myself and for you. And style? That’s effort she can see instantly.
Not about trends. Not about designer logos. Just clean, intentional choices that say:
“You’ll be treated well.” That’s the quiet power of good style. In a sea of low-effort swipes, you stand out by giving a damn. Because the right outfit doesn’t just show taste—it signals confidence, self-respect, and social fluency. The wrong one? Indifference. Or worse—cluelessness.And here’s what the research says:
– Well-fitted clothing boosts attractiveness by 27% (Pazda & Elliot, 2016)
– Contrast between outfit and background improves recall (Applied Cognitive Psychology, 2019)
– Effort—not brand names—signals competence and status (Cialdini, PreSuasion, 2016)
Make sure the clothes fit you! Avoid overdoing your fits. Clean, well-fitted clothes with some selected details go a long way.
RSF Factor #5: Photo Quality Is Social Proof in Pixels
A crisp, well-lit photo builds trust. A dark, grainy one? It builds doubt.
Why? Because we equate clarity with intention. A sharp image says: “I put thought into this.”
A blurry one says:“I’m hoping you’ll overlook the details.”
Your photo doesn’t need filters or a pro camera— But it does need light. Focus. Framing. Bad lighting? Harsh shadows? Weird crops? They don’t make you mysterious. They make you forgettable. Because in a sea of noise, the cleanest signal wins. And the research backs it up:
– Poor image quality lowers trust—even if the person is attractive (UX Psychology, 2021)
– Soft lighting at 45° angles boosts facial structure clarity (Tinder AI Report, 2022)
– Bad lighting reduces perceived attractiveness—period (PubMed, 2023) If you’ve got your assets in check, meaning your profile does the heavy lifting in intigue, You are ready to move into step 2: emotional state.
Step 02: Stimulate Security through a Serene State
You came here for tactics. And we’ve got them. But let’s get one thing straight: That subconscious security she’s looking for. It doesn’t just come from your photos or your bio.
It comes from your own inner state. Because your energy bleeds through the screen. The texts that land? They’re not just well-worded. They’re wellfelt.
If you’re anxious, needy, or low-effort— She’ll feel it, sooner or later. And I’ve seen it again and again: Guys get ghosted not because of what they said — But because of the energy behind it. It felt forced. Don’t ask me how but it comes through the screen.
I can give you the script. But what determines your persuasiveness is how you feel.
So before we talk openers— We need to talk state. Because a calm, grounded state is the real first message you send.
Most guys come in needy—texting from a “taking” state. They want attention. Approval. A response. And women can feel that. What works? Texting from a giving state.
One where you’re not trying to get anything— You’re simply offering a vibe she wants more of.
This shift is subtle, but it changes everything. And there’s one practice that primes your state better than anything I’ve ever come across: Metta meditation. It’s a mental warmup. A way to center yourself before you send that first message. It moves you from proving → providing. From chasing → radiating. Because validation-seeking sends a weak, subconscious signal. And here’s the paradox: A man who has nothing to prove is the ultimate social proof.
He’s calm. Collected. Full. In a world full of anxious energy and scattered attention— You become the emotional shift she didn’t know she needed. And when that energy hits her screen? It’s addictive. Feeling sceptical? Well here’s the truth: The size of your penis doesn’t matter but “big dick energy” matters. Metta meditation is how you access that energy if you weren’t born with it. And If you are in a needy state, don’t text. Fix your state before writing a single word. Do 15 minutes of Metta meditation.
Step 03 Connection: Craft a connection from your very first words.
Good job. You’ve made it to where we’ll actually start covering what to write. We’ve got visual intrigue in place. You are in a calm, giving emotional state. Let’s dial one last thing in: Tonality.
If there’s one truth about modern dating—it’s this: The world is starving for gentlemen.
I’ve tried every approach under the sun. Bold. Funny. Cocky. Mysterious. But the one that consistently lands? Polite. Short. Straightforward. Lighthearted.
Not cold. Not try-hard. Just confident clarity—with a calm undertone. Humor works brilliantly. It has a place in both texting and sexting, but some girls won’t have the same humour as you. So it’s better to aim for intentional playfullness rather full blown jokes.
Here’s what you’re aiming for her to feel from your words:
1. “I’ll be safe with him.”
→ Achieved through verbal social proof and subtle intelligence (humour).
2. “He seems different.”
→ Delivered through the S.P.E.C.I.A.L framework you’ll learn next.
3 “He gets me.”
→ Made possible with the advanced techniques such as referencing her world, mirroring and anticipation builders.
When you repeatedly make her feel special, you ultimately become special
If you make her feel special, then you become special. If she can find out unique and positive things about herself or how she’s perceived, through you, then you will be remembered. A rare but accurate compliment can last a lifetime.
Now you can’t always achieve this (it’s hard), but it’s a good goal to have. People feel attached or connected to people whom they find special.
Now, here’s the challenge— We don’t want to come in with heavy, higheffort questions like:
“What do you dream of?”
“What’s your deepest desires?”
Even though they’d give you valuable information. They’re too big. Too much for a cold open. And too personal. The key is finding the sweet spot: Lightweight openers that create heavyweight feelings. That’s what the S.P.E.C.I.A.L **framework is all about— How to start strong and stack emotional resonance. But first, A little background to what the framework is built on.
The Two Emotional Triggers That Never Miss
Engaged interaction—romantic or not—often hits one of these two nerves:
1. Self-Image → How she sees herself
2. Social Image → How she thinks others see her
These drive everything from what we post on Instagram to what we buy— and yes, how we flirt.
Self-image sounds like:
“I’m creative.”
“I’m mentally strong.”
“I identify with X”
Social image sounds like:
“People see me as kind, interesting, attractive.”
Here’s where it gets interesting: If your message touches either of these—without being obvious—it hits deeper. It makes her feel seen. You want to be associated with positive emotions, and we use compliments and assumptions for that. But avoid complimenting things she can’t control (like her body or facial features). Instead, notice decisions she made: Her taste. Her charisma. Her vibe. Her humor. Anything tied to her social image or self-image is something she cares deeply about, so it just hits deeper.
Individual Emotional Drivers
Every woman wants to feel special. But not just in general—special in a way that speaks directly to her world. Your job isn’t to guess—it’s to listen for the emotional undertones.
Because once you identify what she craves, and start associating yourself with positive emotions in that space— you become unforgettable. This is the key: It’s not about being special, It’s about being special to her.
Women don’t chase quantity. They don’t brag about how many guys they’ve matched with. They talk about the one guy who stood out. The one who saw something in them no one else noticed. The one who felt… different. Like stated earlier:
Security and social proof open the door. But being special is what gets you invited in. The closer you can get to seeing her world clearly, the more likely you are to find her nuanced way of perceiving the world. What success means to her. What a good relationship means to her. Apart from social and self-image, what motivates her to wake up each morning? What makes her happy?
Contrasting
Using uncommon words in your opener is a power move. They spark curiosity. They make you memorable. Words like sensational, hypnotic, iconic—they hit different. But here’s the key:
You have to balance the richness. If your whole message sounds like a monologue from a play, it feels performative. Too much effort, not enough soul. That’s where contrast comes in.
When you drop a rare word (which is generally a good idea), pair it with something casual. A slang phrase. This contrast makes you feel intentional, not try-hard. Classy and grounded.
Like someone who knows how to stand out—but doesn’t need to shout. Because the opposite of boring isn’t cheesy. It’s unexpected. Unpredictable. Avoid using the exact same phrases hundres of guys before you have used.
The SPECIAL Framework: 7 Signals That Make You Stand Out Instantly
You should be primed enough by now to be able to digest the framework. Each letter in the acronym targets something specific. The more of the letters you can get into your first messages the better, but not all are necessary. Let’s take a look:
S — Self Image & Social Image
Touch the emotional buttons that hit deeper. Make her feel more herself—and more admired.
P — Positive Emotion
Link your presence to a feeling she enjoys. Not flattery—just feel-good energy around things she cares about.
E — Exclusive
Drop one uncommon word, or a playful phrasing twist.
Say what you say in a way it’s never been said before.
C — Context Relevance
Prove you paid attention.
Reference her profile, her style, her vibe. Anything specific.
I — Irresistible
Make it too easy or too intriguing to ignore.
Low cognitive load, high emotional reward. End with a question or give her alternatives.
A — Advance
Nudge things forward—toward a date, a vibe, or a deeper convo.
Activities are gold. Always think about where you can take things if there are multiple choices.
L — Linked
Lead with subtle social proof.
Mention friends, shared plans, or anything that shows you’re connected. Don’t be too available. You are not a lone wolf desperately looking for intimacy on dating apps.
How to use: Stack Emotions. Line by Line.
Split your message into short, punchy lines.
Each line can carry a layer of the SPECIAL formula—subtle and stacked.
Start strong with (P) Positive Emotion + (S) Self/Social Image.
Pick something she clearly cares about—ideally drawn from her profile (C).
Frame it as a unique, personal compliment.
Not about her looks—but about how she shows up in the world.
At the beginning, (A) Advance in the opener just means: Get a reply.
Later, it becomes a gentle nudge toward plans, activities, or even sexting.
For (E) Exclusive, build a mental word bank.
Uncommon words that pop—like raw, iconic, magnetic, charismatic.
These create visuals. And visual = emotional.
Once she’s picturing something, you’ve got her focus. You’re now competing with zero other guys in her inbox. And finally—close with a light, binary hook.
Something like:
“So which one are you? X or Y (insert alternatives)”
A simple question or alternatives are (I) Irresistible. Low effort. High pull. Easy to answer. Easy to feel.
All example conversations are at the very end of the book (they are real, from Hinge and Instagram).
Deepening the Connection: 4 Advanced Techniques
So you’ve opened strong using the framework. Now how do you build on it? How do you move from a reply to real chemistry? When you don’t know what to say you can always go back to the framework. But let’s look at 4 techniques to deepen the bond.
Look for “Story-Time” Signs
The fastest way to deepen a connection is to shift from banter into story. Why? Because stories create images, and images create emotion.
Your goal: Have a few go-to stories that quietly showcase deeper attractive traits.Not bragging. Not ego. But moments that show boldness, kindness, curiosity, or social fluency. Not stories from your day job if you work in a corporate setting. Ideally, from travels, or anything with a little adventure weaved into it. Unpredictable stories stick.
Bonus if there’s a little vulnerability in there too. The best stories don’t just tell her who you are— They let her feel it.
Set Her Free
Everyone lives between two states: Where they are—and where they want to be. Their current reality, and their quiet fantasy. Your job? Become a bridge between the two. Not by solving anything. But by making her feel good in your presence.
If you can connect yourself to what she desires—freedom, fun, intimacy,
calm—you create emotional gravity. She begins to associate you with the feeling she wants more of.
Never judge her. Be liberating, not limiting. Being a woman today is hard —social pressure, body pressure. Be her homecoming. The one she can be real with. Where the mask comes off. Help her breathe out.
Reference Her World
Want to feel instantly closer? Reference something from her actual day-today life. Just a little proof you understand the world she moves through. Visualize her day. Based on her job, what will she see. Based on where she lives, what will she see? It’s not about accuracy—it’s about familiarity. Referencing common entities creates recognition. And recognition = emotional relevance.
Anticipation Builders
Dopamine lives in anticipation, so why not play with that.
“I’ve got a ridiculous theory about you… want to hear it?”
“You’re either going to laugh… or block me for this. But I have a question” These kinds of lines work because they don’t give it all away. They create a gap. And we’re wired to close gaps. They build and stimulate.
Using these techniques paired with S.P.E.C.I.A.L you will become special to her and you will build an emotional connection.
Step 04: Seduction
From Connection → Tension → Seduction
Once there’s connection, you’ve earned access to something deeper: Seduction. Let me say this upfront—If she’s the kind of woman you actually want to date? Just ask her out. Sex can come later. No games needed. But if she’s giving spicy, short-term signals—and that’s your vibe? Then this chapter’s for you.
1. The Indirect Transition
Casual & Distant
This is the move for apps like Feeld—where sexual openness is expected, but desperation kills the vibe. You don’t go in hot, you slide in sideways. Keep it general. Keep it not about you or her. Just… out there. Try
something like:
“Heard the wildest story on this podcast—couple went celibate for a year on purpose.
Or:
“Is it just me or are morning-after stories always better than the actual night?”
You’re not asking for nudes. You’re inviting conversations about sex. It’s accepted especially on apps like Feeld. Don’t make it about her to begin with. Make it indirect. Slide in sideways.
2. The Playful Tease
If the convo’s been fun, warm, and a bit cheeky—this is your green light. Use misinterpretation as a move.Twist something innocent into something just barely suggestive. It gives her the chance to either play along or pivot. If she teases back? Lean in. Push the tension. Tell her what you’d actually want. Soft. Direct. No pressure. And yeah, it can lead to sexting, photos, or… an late-night meetup. Some profiles just give off hedonist lighthearted vibes, they’re the ones that this approach works best on.
3. The Slow Build
This is my favorite approach because it creates real intimacy. Unlike the playful tease or indirect transition, this one doesn’t rely on timing or mood as much.
It’s more resilient. More emotional. More felt. The slow build works because it weaves desire into connection. It’s basically about just going in deeper with the strategies from the SPECIAL formula. Eventually you’ll see signs of her mirroring you. Using the same expressions as you.
This is where real chemistry turns into real momentum. Texting becomes fast, fluid, and emotionally charged.
Here’s how to do it:
– Use her name, a lot.
– Be direct with your values and your intentions. Your charisma pulls her closer.
– Express your desire for her—not sexually explicit, just emotionally
charged.
Say things like:
“Honestly, [her name], you’re messing with my focus in the best possible way.”
And if she’s into it? You’ll feel it in her replies. Let the pace build naturally. Like foreplay. No pressure. No rush. Just a shared emotional space where both of you want more. But one word of warning: Women can actually fall in love over text. So don’t use this if your intentions aren’t aligned. It’s powerful—and it’s meant to be beautiful. Not manipulative. I’ve done the mistake a few times where I’ve used this as a strategy to create deep tension but ended up creating a strong emotional bond I was unable to live up to.
Use with caution.
The Recommended Way
Texting can be sexy. You’ll have charged moments. Playful exchanges. Emotional highs.
But real intimacy happens in person. So even though sexting is always an option— I almost always choose a date.
From Chat → Instagram → Connection
My move is simple: I transition to Instagram. It’s low-pressure, lowcommitment—and gives both of us a better sense of who the other is. You can keep building connection through what you post in your stories. You’re not just a face on a screen anymore. You’re a presence in her world. Some girls prefer WhatsApp / exchanging numbers. That’s cool too.
Setting up the Date
Suggest something light. Low commitment. Glass of wine. Rooftop drink. Timing matters too.
Wait a day and suggest the date in a few days. If the connection has gone deep you can suggest it even the next day or so. But I generally suggest a few days ahead because it signals unavailability (you just can’t have too much social proof).
And it gives enough space to anticipate—without cooling the vibe.
Let’s look at some IRL convos:
Real Conversations
Valentina
Challenging convo since she gave me nothing to work with. Some girls are just not good at texting. I lead with the common thread of schoolreferences.
You:
Valentina seems super fun and super hot = rare combo
Double cats means 2x the litter box duty
Your only con(s)
Her:
Still good cons ♀
You:
Con #2: Replies short in chat
But honestly, that’s probably a pro ’Cause that usually means extra charisma in person
Her:
Haha you and your damn cons
You haven’t even said what you’re looking for
You:
Looking for? Short term or long term?
Max one term with the wrong person
6+ terms with the right one
A night class here and there is fine too
So I’m open
Just like you
Her: ������
U got me
You:
You’re kinda like a vocational education
Cause one needs to get to work from day one Lucky for you, I’m more than happy to get to work
Okay okay
I could show you my high school grades over a beer if you want
Had a bunch of VG’s (Very Good)
Her:
Hahaha perfect, bring your VG’s and we’ll compare them with my IG’s (Fail grades)
You:
Sounds incredibly romantic
Deal
Give me your website Or Instagram Or number
I eat everything
Her:
XXXXX on Instagram
He asked for a website ������
Not there yet!
Anna
Things got really heated in this convo. But what I did was come up with a very sexual story of me and her on the train, where things went from first eye contact to full-on sweaty sex.
She filled in the story with her specific desires, [these types of messages feel really cringe when you look at them out of context, but when you are deep in it, they feel natural and fun.]
Also, having this type of conversation takes you to another level, and you can skip the basic boring convos when you actually decide to meet up. This was also a sunday and she was chilling at home.
Her:
Ambar at 8 pm this Thursday? Is it a group date with all your Feeld matches then?
You:
Exactly
I’ve rented the whole thing
You are very welcome to join
No you absolutely deserve a solo date
Incredible wine-aura
We only have one problem though Anna
I also like to be entertained on Sundays [based on something in her bio]
I’m often understimulated, hungover and horny then
Her:
It would turn into a damn Hunger Games
That’s exactly my situation today, on a level so to speak
You:
Yeah, why are you always horny on Sundays??
rn, I’m also on a train from Malmö to Stockholm and can do absolutely nothing about it
except for looking at your Hinge profile and getting even hornier
Her:
Because you’re always hungover on Sundays!! When you’re hungover, the best medicine is naked skin and hands roaming around
You’re also at your most relaxed and could spend a whole day with it
Trains are a good place to give time to fantasies
What have you been up to in lovely Malmö?
You:
I’ve been there over the weekend visiting some friends yeah, that’s actually true
I’ll fantasize about you a bit then
Her:
Feel free to share
It could have been something if you ended up alone with me in a train compartment.
Jessica
Notice how often I say her name. Notice how I use subtle desire pulls weaved into sentences, such as “..most of all, I want Jessica”. Notice how much I talk about her and how little I talk about myself.
Her:
“I left my Hinge in the hands of my friend, who, by the way, is also named Marcus.
He did an incredible job, I must say.”
You:
“Mackan (nickname for Marcus)
What a king
Nice move outsourcing your dating.
It’ll be exciting to see who you send on the first date.
Pick someone fun or smart.
Most of all, I want Jessica.”
(Heart reaction)
Her:
“Real king, and a king move by me!”
Her:
“Do you have any requests if it turns out that I’m busy on the first date?”
You:
“Great that I get to be part of the process. Hmmm.
Two options.
Either 1. A fun, good-at-setting-the-mood type of person that I can take on an amazing wine tour.
Or 2. Someone very close to Jessica who always tells the truth completely unfiltered.
So I can ask questions that I wouldn’t even have asked you on the first date. Like...
What does Jessica dream about?”
“What gets her focus?
What makes Jessica happy?
Does Jessica like surprises? Etc.
Can you arrange one of the two?”
Her:
“It’s key to keeping all parties happy, I’ve heard. Hmm. I have three options.
First, Marcus, who is pretty much the reason we’re here today. With him, you’ll get 100% honest, unfiltered answers, but from someone who has only known me for... a year?
Then option 2 is Olivia. My ride or die. A bit biased and not quite as unfiltered, but she knows EVERYTHING about me. The good and the bad.”
“And the third, more traditional option would be me myself, then. As in, my actual person. A safer choice, but maybe not as unexpected and fun?”
You:
“Oof.
What a damn selection.
Feels like all of them could contribute great Jessica-value. In different ways.
But even though Olivia and Marcus could probably give good answers... I feel even more interested in the things I think Jessica would do best out of the three.
That is, reflecting Jessica energy, how her voice is, how her eye contact is there, and if there is any chemistry.”
“So I’ll take number 3!!!
How do we proceed with the booking?
How does next weekend look, for example? I have an incredibly busy week.”
Her:
“DING DING DING [bell emoji] absolutely the right choice if you ask me. You know what? It might actually work. And I’m not totally against a spontaneous phone/FaceTime date during the week either, to practice eye contact and such.
And of course, check voice chemistry.”
You:
“What a party. The bell came out. Sounds like a fun idea.”
“What’s your number?”
Her:
“XXXXXXXXX
Daniela
The SPECIAL framework used deliberately. I make positive assumptions about her, commenting her social image while referencing stuff in her profile (muay thai & music). Exclusive words such as “ride-or-die vibe”.
You:
Daniela, you have a great balance of warmth and pondus in your charisma I must say.
True loyal ride-or-die vibe, as long as one doesn’t mess up…
Then they get a taste of Muay Thai instead.
Her:
Haha! Did you read all that from my profile? Impressive if so.
I want to counter, but I think you are a little more difficult to read…
Extra, but still laid back. A lot of humor, and a bit self-centered?
You:
Not a bad analysis.
Agree that I exude those things.
Hope and believe that I am not so self-centered IRL.
A lot of humor and laid back, I like that.
Laid back but with drive and feeling.
Kind of like this song:
Spotify link to “You’re the One” - Kaytranada
Took me 100 years to find it lol Let me hear Daniela in song-form.
Her:
Ooh will listen, brb
Aaah Kaytranada
Nice!
Hmm. Hard to choose just one song! But the one in my profile is probably pretty accurate…
Spotify link to “Hitman” - Kelly Rowland
Or this:
Spotify link to “Deja Vu” - Beyoncé
You:
Ouuf alright listening now.
F*** YES.
Long tribute to Deja Vu coming soon. But first, Hitman. I like the BPM.
Matching energy.
And I’m thinking… how this song translates in characteristics:
Lots of power.
Resilience.
Lust.
Real good vibes overall.
Her:
Yessss
Speaking my language
You:
Incredible chorus.
Her:
RIIGHT?
I need to listen more carefully to the one you sent, my phone doesn’t do the sound picture justice.
You:
Do it, I’ll think of another song so you get the full Marcus-experience lol
Until then, how about getting a glass of wine? I have a packed week, but my Thursday is free.
Her:
Sounds nice, I’d love to have a drink with you.
You:
Alright nice, what’s your phone number?
Her:
XXXXXXXXX
Jennifer
Jennifer had a very hedonistic profile. Beers / party vibe. The time of writing was also a sunday (the best day for sexting). She ended up coming to my place and joined me in the bathtub. Incredibly sexy. Not much of the SPECIAL framework here, except the (I) Irresistible. The opener is very low effort to respond to.
You:
How hung over are you today Jennifer on a scale 1-10
Her: 2, but I’m drinking beer rn so give it a couple of hours. You?
You: haha perfect
I’m a solid 7 for sure
Been eating rolls and masturbating all day
haha
But i’m a take a bath now and sharpen up
Her: Sharpen up marcus
Have you masturbated already and not saved any rolls for me
You:
No need to save insatiable hunger and lust today it seems will probably catch at least one more before you’ve finished your next beer will fantisize about you I promise
Her: hahah
On my way home now can I join the bath?
You:
Of course [address]
Her:
Keep it warm there in 25 mins
Erica
Erica has words such as “goal-setting” in her prompts. A more intellectual profile. She clearly had ambitions and seemed reflective, so I chose a question that would be high-effort to some, but it landed well with this girl.
That question gave me valuable information in what’s important to her so I could build on that.
You:
What’s getting the focus right now in life, Erica?
Her:
I like the question!
The answer is: training, physical and mental!
I feel that I’m growing and getting stronger, but before you are completely there you need to break down a bit.
What is your life focus?
And because you asked a deep question, and I don’t just want to be a copycat and ask “so what?”, I ask YOU: why are you looking for a shortterm relationship?
You:
Damn yes, reasoning with that mindset.
The balance between developing and at the same time being present has long been my definition of the question “the meaning of life” haha.
Because if you have all your focus on a place you want to reach, you tend to miss truly appreciating the present moment.
Hm, so I am open to both types of relationships.
Partly because I recently came out of a longer one, but also a bit for the same reason as above.
That you can find value in all types of relationships, and the goal doesn’t have to be the stereotypical one.
Her:
The balance between developing and being present, so nice – never set them against each other, but now that you mention it I realize the complexity there haha!
Very difficult!
I get it! If you have been in something for a long time, you may want to try something else. For me, on the contrary, it’s only been a lot of short things, so “villa, volvo” kind of sounds like the ultimate challenge!
You:
Yes exactly.
But it feels like you need to graze X number of short-term ones to come to the realization of which character traits in a partner you think are crucial.
Plus, if you have a strong focus on finding something long-term, you might put a lot of pressure on yourself and the person you meet.
And initially in a relationship, I think it’s usually good if most things feel playful and undemanding—
Until it grows into something strong where you WANT the demands.
Also feels like others are attracted to your presence better when you do not try to achieve anything but are just present and spread good vibes type.
Could absolutely be wrong, but that’s my take.
Her:
No, not wrong—nothing is wrong, I think!
I agree with what you say.
You can’t actively go around looking for long-term relationships with every person you meet; the assumption is always that something will end after a relatively short period of time.
You have to explore it.
But then you might have a sense of what you want deep down, and it’s good to formulate that for yourself.
Whether it is just to have some short developing relationships or to find something safe and stable where you grow together.
Above all, I think that through short relationships that are a little more intense, you come to realize what character traits you lack in yourself.
I actually think that long-term love can arise a little with anyone as long as you have attraction, friendship, patience, and the will.
And the last two I honestly think very few actually have today. You can’t handle the feeling of restlessness—hence not stability.
Or you say you want to be in something long-term but really deep down you want to be completely free, and go with the idea that it doesn’t exist in a long-term relationship.
But I think that limitation gives a sense of freedom!
But you have to try your way there!
I have been single and in short relationships for like 7 years haha so I buy that you want and certainly need such periods.
Her: DAMNN!!
What a convo we started in 2 seconds!
You:
Haha yes but it’s perfect, I’m free and lying in the bath so you have absolutely all my focus right now.
And have lots of things to say about what you wrote, so I’m considering 1. sending a voicemail or 2. that we might as well take it further over a glass of wine.
Her:
Ooooh to be your daily focus :’)
Send a voicemail haha!
Or wait—I realized that I have to send one back so I vote for wine!!
You:
Hahah yeah nice, what’s your number?
Her:
Bize Size Summaries
Emotional Priming
To seduce anyone, you first need to prime them emotionally. Use charismatic language to create an energy field around you—one that radiates warmth, adventure, and social proof.
Points of Value
Every person has strengths. Women often showcase physical traits; men are judged more by behavior—wit, social fluency, decisiveness. Figure out your points of value. Double down on them.
Framing
No question needs a generic answer.
Reframe everything to serve your emotional priming.
Weave in social proof, value, or fantasy every chance you get.
Details
Details = dopamine.
Generic answers flatten you.
Own the specifics of your life: names, places, textures, vibes. They make you feel real—and real is rare.
Decisiveness
Replace hesitation with clarity.
“Let’s do X” beats “If you’re free maybe we could…”
Decisiveness is confidence with a pulse.
Subtle Desire Pulls
Neediness feels clingy. Desire feels chosen. You want to be perceived as: “I want you, but I don’t need you.”
Playful Enrichments
Made-up words used sparingly, strange phrases—they all break pattern. They feel fun. Original. Dopamine in disguise. Great for texting. Greater for flirting.
Subtle
Social Proof
Social proof doesn’t need to be shouted.
Split texts = signal you’re used to texting (read: you do it a lot).
Mentioning friends casually = you’re linked, not lonely.
Subtle wins.
Emotional Stacking
Be honest, then soften.
“I want Sara right now. But I’m on a train to nowhere.”
Admit desire. Follow with presence.
The last sentence carries the weight.
Sensory Activation
Words that make her feel her body—those are the ones that land.
“Where do you feel that when it hits?”
Touch memory. Color words. Time of day. Activate the senses, and you’ll activate emotion.
Anticipation Builders
Curiosity is a form of control. You don’t need a punchline—just open a loop. You want her leaning in, not scrolling past. These are especially powerful when energy is already warm.
“I’ve got a ridiculous theory about you… want to hear it?”
“You’re either going to laugh… or block me. Ready?”
These work because they create a psychological gap—one the brain wants to close. Suspense is emotional gravity. Keep it playful, light, and always fun to answer.
Emotional Drivers
The moment you’ve figured out her strongest emotional drivers, you can connect your presence with what she craves. If she wants to live as a hedonist, travelling the world and eating good food. Connect yourself to those activities or emotions. If she wants to be percieved as X, reinforce that to make her feel good around you.
Contrasting
Contrast adds depth and make you unpredictable. Never go too hard on one vibe. If you use uncommon words, blend them with slang phrases. Don’t overly compliment her. Don’t overly tease her. Finding balance through contrasting is always a good idea. Make your vibe unpredicable.
Metta texting
Texting women in a non-needy, calm, and grounded state. Trying-hard-toflirt-energy or seduce or rizz will sooner or later come through the screen. It will end up with you getting ghosted. Your own emotions determines your success when texting women.
Fantasy Admissions
Women don’t watch porn to the same extent as men. A lot of girls however, read novels. Or when they masturbate, they fantasize. Women are generally really good at making up stories in their heads. And when in a sexual state + when the connection is there, they absolutely love to hear your fantasies. The best way to test the waters is through “fantasy admissions”. For example: Admit you are in a horny state but that you can’t do anything about it. And follow up with something non-sexual. The emphasis will always be on what you end your text with. This let’s her tap into the vibe or focus on the non-sexual thing. You’ll see this in action in the real convos.
Controllable Compliments
Controllable compliments hit deeper. Compliments that are non-physical, complimenting her on things that are in her control. How she selects her jewellery. How she matches her clothes. Her charisma
Positive Assumptions
Making positive assumptions about a persons existence in this world, is tighly related to compliments. But it’s more playful and more exclusive texting get’s unlocked, meaning let’s you say things in a way it’s never been said before. Makes you less predicable and more special.
Show don’t tell-Storytelling
Saying things as a man, such as “I am creative, or I am X, or Y” is just not attractive. Real men don’t talk about themselves in that way. Avoid that, unless she clearly asks. Instead, tell stories that reflect your deeper traits and show who you are on a deeper level. Any stories that show boldness, kindness, social proof and vulnerability are good stories. Just because if it becomes obvious you are trying to put yourself in the best light it’ll be perceived as bragging, which is unattractive.