Issue 990 - Friday 4th June 2021

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: Canterbury Flooding

2

Flooding At Local Golf Clubs

3

Terrace Station Woolshed

4

New Writers’ Group

5

Get Creative

5

Relay For Life Returning

6

Motoring With Macca

7

Winter Driving

7

Selwyn Health Hub Update

8

Helping Kiwis Into Work

9

New Pool Close To Opening

10

Windwhistle Golf Classic

11

Sport Notices

11

Malvern Community Board

12

Public Notices

12-13

Save The Date

12

Classifieds

13-15

Trades

15-16

Email Column

16

Weekly Newspaper Business Cards ♦ Photocopying ♦ LaminaƟng ♦ Binding ♦ Typeseƫng ♦ ♦

Meet the News Team: •

Jan Thomas Owner

•

Chevonn Walker Advertising

•

Lucinda Jarvis Editorial

Phone: 03 318 7450 Email: info@malvernnews.co.nz Website: www.malvernnews.co.nz

ISSUE 990 Friday 4th June 2021

The major weather system that hit Canterbury last weekend, created havoc around the South Island. Widespread rain caused an enormous amount of flooding, road closures and damage to numerous areas, homes and structures. Heavy rain was predicted, being named a once in a lifetime event, but as the weekend unfolded things ended up being much worse than some initially thought, ending in a Canterbury wide Sate of Emergency.

According to MetService New Zealand, Darfield had recieved 189mm from the start of January to Friday 28th May. During the three day extreme weather event, 215.8mm was recorded.

Christchurch recoded exactly the same amount over the three days, as it has all year leading up to it - 135.6mm.

Methven recieved 239.6mm and Mt Somers recorded 539.5mm.

'Challenging time' for farmers: Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor has declared a medium-scale adverse event for Canterbury, unlocking $500,000 of Government support for farmers and growers affected by flooding.

Benmore Road Bridge, Springfield. One of the many bridges to be damaged last weekend.

Ensuring farmers have enough feed for stock, given the flooding will have damaged existing feed stocks, is another priority for authorities.

“The funding will help speed up the recovery of farming businesses, including wellbeing support and specialist technical advice," he said.

“The money will be used for recovery grants, to enable the region’s three Rural Support Trusts to provide extra help to farmers, and for other flood assistance where needed."

“Further support would be considered once the full extent of the flooding became clearer,” Damien concluded.

“Action from the Government is

needed right now. As bad as the images on the TV are, it is far worse on the ground,” commented Selwyn MP, Nicola Grigg.

“I have asked the Government to activate Enhanced Taskforce Green in order to help with clean up and recovery. The Government need to pull all levers available, including Defence Force personnel and equipment,” concluded Nicola.

Roading update: As rivers across the Selwyn district continued to drop, a lot of damage has become visible with debris and mud scattered across formerly empty river beds and roads. At the time of going to print, several roads and bridges remained closed throughout the district or are impacted by water damage.

Please check Council's road closure map for more information.

www.selwyn.govt.nz/ roadclosures Due to the amount of rain that has fallen, potholes have appeared in some of our roads.

If you come across a pothole, the best way to report it is through using our Snap Send Solve app.

Thank you: Local residents and businesses rallied together to help friends, neighbours and family who were affected most by waters breaching their homes. Events like this show community spirit at its best, with everyone more than happy to help where they can. The clean up will be an ongoing task for some people and assistance will be required from friends and neighbours.

Thanks to everyone that has helped out in one form or another.

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Friday 4th June 2021

Page 2

MAJOR WEATHER SYSTEM FLOODS CANTERBURY

Springfield residents were extremely thankful to Curle Contracting whose quick actions help divert a raging water race, which saved homes from being taken over by floodwaters.

Photo credit: Simon Williams.

Anthony Sayer helping people in the community save their homes.

Photo credit: Steph Kimber.

Gareth (Gaz) Rowlands fishing for Kingi’s on Lake Beattie (a large puddle outside Darfield Tyre Centre), unfortunately no crays were caught in the pots he left out overnight.

A Whitecliffs farmer was dropped off to rescue a digger sitting in the rising waters. Pretty rugged out there now. Take care stay safe.

Outboard Jet did surprisingly well in the mucky water.

Photo credit: Nick Hamilton.

Porter River Bridge.

Farms in Greendale area have lost most of their winter feed.

Bealey Road, Waianiwaniwa Bridge Photo credit: Caleb Longdin.

Civil Defence have made available several skips around Springfield township for the disposal of any flood damaged material only. Please note before you throw away anything, record everything. Take photos or videos of your house and any damaged belongings. Check in with your insurer - ask what you need for your claim. Ensure you know what you are and are not covered for.

If you don't understand, ask questions.

Farms in Homebush area have a big clean-up to do.

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 3

LOCAL GOLF CLUBS The Hororata Golf course at Glentunnel, 35 minutes drive west of Christchurch, has been overwhelmed by the flooded Selwyn River as heavy rain drenched Canterbury on Sunday, May 30th.

The golf course has sustained substantial damage, greens are covered with debris, rocks and shingle, with one being completely destroyed. There has been considerable damage to the fairways, which have felt the full force of the river flow, several fences and four bridges will also need to be replaced. This includes one bridge that allows access for heavy machinery, which will be essential to repairs.

This is devastating for the rural Club who maintains its course mainly through volunteers,

unfortunately the course will now be closed for weeks.

Often farmers can help with maintenance, but they are all cleaning up their farms and caring for their stock.

The Club, which has 190 members, is due to celebrate its 100th anniversary next year.

As always, this tight-knit community will pull together to get the course repaired, but the Club needs funds to help to get people swinging on the greens again. They have started a BoostedSport Campaign, to help raise funds for the repairs: boostedsport.org.nz/projects/ hororata-golf-course or find the link through Hororata Golf Club’s Facebook page.

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The Hororata Golf Club on Sunday, May 30th Greendale Golf Club has also been forced to close its course this week, after most of it was left underwater due to severe flooding, from the Hawkins and Selwyn Rivers both of which washed debris onto the course.

Greenkeeper Mick Brickwood said it's the worst flooding he's seen in his 20 years at the Club.

The Club are asking for ‘man hours’ at this stage, until they can fully assess the damage.

Greendale Golf Club President Ian Gaunson said there's been offers of help from the community already, but hopes more volunteers and other members will pitch in as well.

Number 1 tee was completely underwater.

By number 11 green, near tee 12.

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Logs and debris cover the course.

Keep an eye on their facebook page for further updates and message them to see how you assist.

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Friday 4th June 2021

Page 4 ROLLESTON LAW

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TERRACE STATION WOOLSHED Part 4 of the Terrace Station Woolshed, following on from Part 1 - 19th March ‘21 issue, Part 2 - 16th April ‘21 issue & Part 3 - 7th May ‘21 issue.

In 1905, after much deliberation, a Wolseley shearing machine was bought for the Station, from Booth and Macdonald. A 12hp, single cylinder, White stationery engine was also purchased. Two 5 feet-diameter flywheels were part of the engine that drove the overhead shafting, which extended along both boards and provided for sixteen machine stands. A lean-to addition to the shed was added by Jesse Prestidge for the engine, which was also the expert’s room.

He was employed to keep the handpieces in good working order, these were kept in a specially constructed, locked cupboard able to be accessed from within the shed.

The main shearing was in December, when very wet weather slowed the progress.

On one day when sheep were wet, the fleece pickers were taken with Thomas Barson, (the gardener), to the churchyard to weed the paths. Sir John Hall noted in his diary: ‘sheep even more cut about than with hand shears. Dunn, shearer, cut off tip of his little finger, went on shearing. I did all I could for him.’ On December 23rd, Hall notes the storms and constant rain: ‘In Plummers paddock shepherd Stockwood with shorn hogget's till 11pm, but thirty died under his eyes. Begin to be sorry I introduced machines.’

Electricity came in 1930, so a large electric motor was installed to provide for six stands. The White engine was lent to the Stuart brothers at the Acheron Coal Mine, near Lake Coleridge, in the 1950s. There it drove a pump to keep one of the shafts dry. Unfortunately, a big flood following norwest rain caused the engine to disappear down the river. The chassis and shafts are still here - if anyone knows of a 12hp White engine that is available, it would add nicely to the Terrace Station Woolshed display.

Megan Ellis 027 206 1066 03 348 4149 www.whittleknight.co.nz Licensed Real Estate Agents REAA 2008

SELWYN • RESIDENTIAL • LIFESTYLE

The expert’s room, where the electric engine has been reinstated and connected to the Wolseley shafting. The sixteen lockers for the handpieces can be seen.

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 5

NEW WRITERS’ GROUP A writer’s journey can be a solitary one, with hours spent at the keyboard stringing words together, to create a compelling story that will keep the reader engaged.

Local Waddington author Fi Maddison knows exactly what that is like, she has worked from home as a freelance writer for many years and most recently delved into the world of fiction, and published her first novel ‘Loving Lila’, last year. She is currently working on her second novel set in the nearby Malvern Hills.

“Finding time to write fiction, when you already work as a writer, can be hard, almost impossible at times,” commented Fi. Hence the idea of forming the Malvern Writer’s Cafe, where writers of fiction or non-fiction can meet up once a month and spend focussed time writing in a group with company.

The group meets monthly for two-hour sessions on the second Tuesday of the month, at the Darfield Library and may eventually run a second session a fortnight later at cafés, or bars around the Malvern area. This group is suitable for writers published or non-published.

Writers need to bring everything they need to work on; their work in progress (WIP), laptop and cords, notes, etc. As well as BYO coffee, tea and milk.

Fi commented, “the Malvern

Writers’ Café offers a friendly, non-judgemental and safe environment for writers to craft their work”.

The next meet-up is on Tuesday, June 8th and the first 15-20 minutes will be a chance for people to discuss what they are writing or planning to write, sharing experiences, etc.

A $2 gold coin donation per session is required to help cover room hire costs.

For more information, see the advertisement in this issue.

• • • • • • • •

26.67 hectares (65.9 Acres) Currently used as a dairy support block Five-year-old three-bedroom home Stock and domestic water comes from the district scheme Irrigation from Phase 1 of the CPW Scheme Easy access to Darfield for most amenities Open day: Sunday 6th June 1.00-2.00pm Deadline Sale closing 2.00pm, Thursday 1 July Plus GST (if any)

Contact Athol Earl for viewing

027 437 6298 PGG Wrightson Real Estate Ltd, licensed under the REAA 2008

Brian Donnelly who is currently working on his novel.

GET CREATIVE Lincoln Envirotown have recently ‘launched’ two exciting and fun competitions which challenge people to use their creative skills to highlight environmental issues, one of these is the Selwyn Waste Art Competition and the other is Focus for Future Environmental Film Competition.

Detailed information on the Film Competition will be coming out in the near future.

The new Waste Art Competition has been instigated at the request of a local business who has also provided generous prize money. It is open to all high

FOR SALE 971 Te Pirita Road, Hororata

school students who attend school in the Selwyn District, or those of high school age who are home schooled in Selwyn.

Students must work individually, or in pairs to create art pieces.

They must be assembled, or constructed from previously used materials, which otherwise would have likely gone to the landfill.

Lincoln Envirotown would like to thank the Selwyn District Arts and Culture Coordinator who has worked with them on this project and look forward to viewing the variety of works that come out

of this interesting competition.

Judging will be in August and the intention is to publicly display many of the pieces.

More information regarding the rules, health and safety advice and timelines can be found by visiting Eventbrite, Lincoln Envirotown’s Facebook page or website.

Lincoln Envirotown encourage all of Selwyn’s artistic and mechanically minded high school students to exhibit their talents and in doing so enable people to look at ‘rubbish’ in a different light.

Rebecca Smith

Phone: 027 313 2270

Email: rebecca@ruraltenancy.co.nz Website: www.ruraltenancy.co.nz

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 6

RELAY FOR LIFE RETURNING

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The Cancer Society’s CanterburyWest Coast Division has recently announced that its popular Relay For Life event, will be returning to Selwyn in October this year.

“We are excited about getting the word out to people that the Relay will be coming to Brookside Park, in Rolleston, on Saturday, 30th October,” said Selwyn Relay for Life Committee Chairperson, Duncan Sole.

“This event is an opportunity for our community to get together and remember loved ones lost to cancer, to celebrate cancer survivors, as well as those going through cancer currently, while fighting back by raising vital funds to support the Society’s advocacy, research and support services.

“This year’s event in Selwyn will run for twelve hours from 10am to 10pm, with the goal of having sixty teams involved.

“I’ve been involved with Relay For Life since 2012 and the atmosphere is always amazing, from the survivors’ lap at the beginning of the event, through to the candlelight ceremony at the close of the day,” Duncan concluded.

Happy participants from the 2019 Relay for Life that was held in Selwyn.

For more information on Relay For Life Selwyn 2021, or to register a team visit: www.selwyn.relayforlife.org.nz/

Save The Date!

Cancer Society’s Relay For Life coming to Selwyn Saturday 30th October - Brookside Park, Rolleston

Visit: selwyn.relayforlife.org.nz

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 7

SERVICING  WOF'S TYRES  DIAGNOSTICS BRAKES & SUSPENSION

Ph: 03 318 8113

Brrr, it's cold outside!

This month I’d like to talk about the three main systems in your vehicle, that are often affected by the cold.

• It’s definitely battery season, which has seen us busy replacing old batteries that are failing, but why do batteries fail when the cold weather rolls in? The most common type of car battery is Lead Acid. The inner workings of a battery require a chemical reaction to store and then release the stored energy.

When the Lead Acid battery fluid is very cold it thickens or freezes and this slows the chemical reaction, thus reducing the batteries output.

A battery that is over 3-4 years old will only have 50-70% of its original capacity.

•

•

15 South Terrace, Darfield

Engine oil is the blood of regular servicing. Antifreeze your car, because of course, it isn’t just to stop the coolant lubricates all moving parts. It from freezing, it also helps also washes away by-products stop rust forming in the of combustion (therefore it cooling system, it increases goes black). It plays a big part the boiling point of the in cooling the extremely hot coolant, lubricates and parts of the engine. As oil gets conditions the water pump old it thickens and loses a lot seals and rubber components of the properties required to in the cooling system. protect your engine. When oil This month’s top tips: is thick and cold, this puts • Look after your battery, keep it extra load on the starter motor clean and if it is sounding and battery during cold starts. slow then get it checked.

The cooling system gets a • Change your engine oil once really hard time and is a year, or every 10,000kms, often overlooked. The cooling whichever comes first. system main components are • Flush your cooling system and radiator, water pump, hoses, replace antifreeze regularly. and coolant (water and antifreeze mix). The antifreeze Safe Winter Driving, Janelle, Macca and the concentration is something that must be checked during team at Darfield Automotive.

WINTER DRIVING Before setting out on a winter road trip or just going about your daily driving, it’s important people are clued up on weather activity and road conditions in their region. Monitor the weather before leaving and note down any areas expecting heavy snow, rainfall, or hail.

Good New Zealand websites for people to check on weather and road conditions are: • Metservice • AA Roadwatch • NZ Transport Agency.

Key things to remember when driving in winter:

•

•

•

Snow chains

• • •

A working torch (and spare batteries) A radio and mobile phone Drive with your headlights on, day or night Update yourself on weather and road conditions regularly.

Black Ice: Is a thin sheet of ice on the road that is dark in appearance, making it extremely hard for drivers to see. It is commonly found around waterways and lakes, more often in shady or cooler areas. Black ice can cause drivers to lose control, so it’s important to drive carefully.

Avoid sudden braking

• • • •

DOUBLE FUEL SAVINGS!

Drive slowly Avoid sudden direction changes Leave large following distances Look for shiny, wet patches on the road.

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Chains: •

• •

• •

When using chains, make sure they are fitted to the driving wheels (eg: for a front wheel car, chains go at the front) Fitted chains should be firm but not tight After fitting chains, drive a short distance and then check them again, to make sure they are secure Carry warm gloves and make sure you have a torch Drive slowly when using chains.

Phone: 03 318 8186 / 021 0818 3828 Email: admin@darfieldcollision.co.nz 1 Cardale Street, Darfield

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Friday 4th June 2021

Page 8

SELWYN HEALTH HUB UPDATE

For all your small excavaƟon requirements • Site & Garden Clearance • Lawn Construc on (Small & Large) • Driveways

• Hole boring (200 – 600) • Sheep & Ca le Yard Clean Outs • Shingle Supplies

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Equipment is starting to be set-up in the new Selwyn Health Hub. The first tenants have started installing equipment in their spaces at the new Selwyn Health Hub, as preparations continue for the facility's opening. The $14.7 million Health Hub is funded as a commercial investment and be a real asset to the district.

Pacific Radiology installed its

new $2 million MRI scanner a couple of weeks ago, with CT, ultrasound and x-ray machines to come soon, as its fit out continues. Pacific Radiology is hoping to start taking patient referrals by July.

Canterbury District Health Board has also begun setting up and

is planning to have services open in early 2022. It will bring together the CDHB’s Maternity, Community Dental and Child, Adolescent and Family Mental Health services for Selwyn in one centre. This will include a new Primary Birthing Unit with two birthing rooms and ten post-natal beds, a three-chair Community Dental Unit and a Community Services area, with six clinic rooms.

Council Property Group Manager Douglas Marshall said, “it’s an exciting time for the project and the district.”

“Seeing that MRI scanner going in is a real tangible sign for residents in Selwyn area, of the commitment and quality of service that Pacific Radiology are bringing to the district. It’s another milestone for a hub that will bring new and improved health care services for Selwyn,” Douglas concluded.

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Friday 4th June 2021

Page 9

HELPING KIWIS INTO WORK While many are calling to open the borders due to worker shortages, mid-Canterbury based Agri Training are training Kiwi’s ready for work in the primary industries and are partnering with industry recruiters to place them in employment.

Last month, Minister of Immigration Kris Faafoi, asked industries to prove they are providing training, wages and conditions suitable for attracting New Zealanders, something Agri Training has been doing since Covid-19 struck New Zealand.

“We knew farmers couldn’t wait for the border restrictions to lift, so we began our programme last year just after Covid-19 hit”, said Agri Training Project Manager, Trina Moore.

Having completed their fourth, thirteen day residential rural retrain programme, Agri Training has produced seventy eight graduates, with 92% in employment.

“It’s a win-win! People are provided with the basic skills needed to move into the industry, while business owners and farm managers have people ready to roll up their sleeves and get stuck in.

Perceptions of industries are also changing thanks to Agri Training’s approach to training and placement.

“A lot of our graduates find work on dairy farms, while it may not be their first passion, we are finding many have been surprised about how much they love it,” Trina concluded.

With dairy salaries starting at around 47k-50k per year, plus accommodation and with fast progression, people are astounded at how quickly they can move up the ladder.

Within two-three years, there are opportunities for second-incharge positions and by five years, even farm management opportunities.

Dorie Dairy Farmer, Joseph Koorey knows the difficulty in finding staff. “Agri Training and New Zealand Dairy Careers have helped us to get the right people in, after we struggled to find workers,” Joseph commented.

“They show the trainees the reality of farming, while getting to know them to make sure they have the potential to work on a

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Agri Trainer Bryn Price with trainee Jack Errington. farm,” Joseph added.

According to Joseph, it’s not only the ability to manage the lifestyle, but it’s also about working as a team. “We have a bit of banter on the farm, so we must get it right for the team culture.”

He agrees with others in the industry who welcome Agri Training's live-in training, which helps to build skills and teams, as well as their approach to screening candidates and ongoing pastoral care, that both candidates and employers can fall back on.

According to Anthony Martin, New Zealand Dairy Careers Business Development Manager, the dairy industry is evolving.

“In the past, farmers have relied on word of mouth to find staff.

Hiring has become more difficult.

People show up for a few weeks and then think it’s not for them, leaving the farmer a person down and wasted time spent on training,” Anthony explained.

The training is equipping people with transferable skills across the industry, while helping match the right people to the right jobs.

Agri Training teaches everything from pasture management to stock handling and health, to operating on farm machinery/ vehicles confidently, all while providing an overview on business within the primary industries.

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NEW POOL CLOSE TO OPENING REGISTERED DRAINLAYERS • • • •

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The new pool at Selwyn Aquatic Centre is now full of water, as they move closer to opening.

The new 10 lane, 25 metre pool underwent testing last week, with the aim of opening in early June.

This addition is the next stage of a wider upgrade of the Aquatic Centre. Five new family changing rooms, a newly accessible family changing room, as well as new smaller male and female overflow

changing rooms, next to the extension which have already opened.

The upgraded female changing rooms, foyer and additional administration space are on track to open late June.

The final stage will be changes to improve the existing main pool, allowing more flexibility of use.

Once the new pool has been opened for at least two weeks, the existing pool will be closed

• AP20 • AP40 • AP65 • Drainage • Erosion • Landscape

Selwyn Aquatic Centre’s new pool is close to opening.

for maintenance, which will include reducing the depth.

The new pool, leisure pool and learn to swim pools will remain available to use.

Council Active Selwyn Manager James Richmond said, “reducing the depth of the existing main pool and reorienting the lanes to make 10 lanes, 20 metres long, with the existing ramp retained, will mean it can be better used for learn to swim classes. This will also free up space in the rest of the facility.”

“This will give us more flexibility, as well as options for all our users across the whole facility.

We’ll have a new pool with 10 lanes dedicated to lane and leisure swimming, plus a pool for programmes like learn to swim and water safety classes, so they can also host some additional lane swimming, as well as our leisure and hydrotherapy pools,” James concluded.

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Friday 4th June 2021

Page 11

WINDWHISTLE GOLF CLASSIC Darfield Rugby Football Club

Mid Winter Christmas Party 19th June 2021 - 7pm Come along to the Darfield Rugby Clubrooms for a drink and a dance - with music by The Wolverines! $30 per person (free ‘festive drink on entry)

Ticket payments are to be made by direct debit into the DRFC Bank Account 03-1583-0040075-00.

Please reference your name and the word Xmas along with the number of tickets you have purchased when you make the payment.

Feel free to come along dressed in the Christmas spirit! (completely optional)

Tickets are limited so you better get in quick!

The winning team was Canterbury Grasslands.

Team members are (L - R): Kelvin Ross, Simon Le Heron, Russ Young and Kiri Hinton.

Windwhistle School were very fortunate to have held the 16th Windwhistle Golf Classic, Ambrose Tournament on Thursday, May 27th, at Terrace Downs before the weather turned. This popular annual event is the major fundraiser each year for the School.

With a big playing field of over 120 golfers, the day dawned sunny with just a mildish cool nor-west at tee-off! The players enjoyed a delicious morning tea before they started and packed snacks on course provided by school parents. This year the sponsors enjoyed a barbeque lunch, which was provided by Southfuels.

Following 18 holes of golf, there was an opportunity to unwind and relax in the clubhouse before the prizegiving and dinner.

An action-packed auction was also part of the entertainment, with an amazing array of donated items such as local experiences, accommodation, meat and art, with George Mannering from Hazlett Limited as auctioneer for the event. A silent auction was also popular with ‘friend against friend’ bidding, meaning some great funds were raised for the School. The combined auctions were a fantastic success.

Results from the day were: 1st: Canterbury Grasslands 2nd: FMG 3rd: Cochranes.

4th: Hazlett Limited.

“Windwhistle School wish to say a huge thank you to the many sponsors, listed in the advertisement in this issue, that played and donated prizes or money to the school. A very big

thank you to Terrace Downs Resort without whom we could not run this tournament. Special thanks also to Southfuels who provided the barbeque lunch, Cindy Driscoll and the Hororata Community Trust who took team photos on the day. Overall it was a wonderful day out in support of a special School,” commented a spokesperson.

WINDWHISTLE GOLF CLASSIC

Windwhistle School would like to thank the following businesses and individuals for their support of the School’s major fundraiser for the year – the Windwhistle Golf Classic.

A special thank you to our hosts Terrace Downs Resort and to our BBQ provider Southfuels.

Please support these generous businesses.

GOLD GOLF SPONSORS: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Advanced Group NZ Alliance Group Barenbrug Braided Waters Farming Canterbury Grasslands Ltd Carrfields Cochranes of Canterbury Coleridge Downs Ellesmere Transport Co Ltd Fill Rural (SI) Limited FMG Hazlett Limited ILAM Toyota John Paterson Livestock Lake Coleridge Station Longspur NZ Fencing Solutions PGG Wrightson Limited Philip Wareing Limited Plains Power Quartz Hill Station R&R Precision Spreading Richards Consulting Engineers Sustainable Water 2019 Ltd The Point Station Wholesale Seeds Windwhistle Pastoral Limited

SILVER GOLF SPONSORS: • • • • • •

Ballagh Contacting Limited Bayleys Real Estate Campbell Contracting Canterbury Plains Contracting Cavell Leitch Molloy Agriculture Limited

DONATIONS • • • • • • • • •

Farmlands Darfield Jackson Holmes Mackay Bailey Limited Mainland Wool Limited Pullin Shearing Ravensdown Trans Tasman Forestry Windwhistle Holdings Limited Yaldhurst Wools Limited

DONATION OF ITEMS • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Allflex Amelia Guild Adventure Ballooning NZ Anna Guild ANZ Ballagh Contracting Berry Beauty Co. Big Al’s Methven Brown/Blue Pub By the Horns Cathie Bell Charmaine Reveley Clothing Clothe Coalgate Earthworks Ltd Crossroads & Lodge Dalethorpe House Darfield Bakery Darfield Hair Boutique Diesel Tech Machinery Dirt Bandits Ltd Discovery Jet Drummond & Etheridge Five Star Beef Flow Pool & Studio FMG

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Frank’s Liquor Glorious Foods Gunyah Country Estate Greenstone Homestead Headwaters Heartland Potato Chips High Country Horse Adventures High Peak Station Hororata Community Trust Hororata Golf Club Hororata Highland Games Hunting and Fishing Kaikoura Icebreaker Ironman 4x4 Koru Therapies Christchurch Lachie Daly Firewood Lake Coleridge Tourism Group Gnomes Alpine Sports Lakeway Nursery Latitude Magazine Lindis Ridge Hut Longspur Ltd Lucy Dynes Babysitting Luke Romano Mahi Design Matukituki Lodge & Aspiring Helicopters McCashins Brewery Methven Travel Ltd Methven Supervalue Mons Royale Middle Rock Shearers Quarters Farmstay Mons Royale Mt Hutt Ski Area

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Mt Olympus Ski Area Neumanns Tyres Newzengland Ltd Penny & Shaun Trousselot Peter Munro Commericals PGG Wrightson Darfield Porters Alpine Resort Quartz Hill Station Reveley Family Rockwood Station Rural Co. Rural Natives Ski Time Methven Snowdon Lodge Southern Alps Honey Sovereign Salmon Stoney Creek Stronechrubie Country Restaurant Susies Bags Sweet Scents Terrace Downs Resort The Dubliner The Fat Beagle Cafe The Herbal Garden The Lodge and Crossroads The Salthouse Tom Dunbar True Fleece Wairiri Buffalo Cheese Washpen Falls Whiskey Galore Whistle & Pop Windwhistle Contracting Wyndon Aviation Ltd Yvonne Hawtin

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 12 PUBLIC NOTICES

PUBLIC NOTICES

ANNABEL’S EDUCARE & 3 YR & 4 YR OLD KINDERGARTENS 12-16 South Tce, Darfield EDUCARE Opening Hours 7:30am - 5pm

• • •

Educare Ph 318 7943 3 Year Ph 318 7948 4 Year Ph 318 8843

The latest Malvern Community Board meeting was held on Monday, 24th May, in the Darfield Library and Service Centre meeting rooms. The Council’s Group Manager Environmental and Regulatory Services was in attendance to provide information.

Prior to the meeting, the Board members held a workshop with Cr Mark Alexander, Chair of the Representation Sub-Committee, and the Group Manager Communications and Customers, who provided information on the Council’s Representation Review process. The Representation Review must be undertaken every six years, to determine the number of wards and councillors for Selwyn and if there will be Community Boards. The most suitable proposals will be released to the community later this year for their comment.

The Board received a presentation from a member of the community about the unsuitability for mobility scooter users, of some of the road crossing points in Darfield. Unsuitable crossings will be identified, and Council will be asked to inspect these.

Other issues noted by members included the great success of the recent Night Glow held at Hororata, the progress of both the bike track at the Tawera Reserve in Springfield and the investigation of a relocation of Mainline Steam to Springfield.

The old toilet block at Lake Coleridge is to be demolished and the rubbish/recycling area re-established. The Kirwee Community Committee is working with Council staff over wording and the installation of an interpretive sign, at the Colonel Brett Memorial in Kirwee.

Congratulations were made to the Selwyn Sister City Committee, for being awarded Best Community-School Project of the visit of representatives from Selwyn’s Sister City, Toraja, Indonesia. To look at several topics including waste-disposal and education, plus the very successful visit of three Selwyn teachers to that region, to give training to local teachers.

Members discussed the timing of the community drop-in sessions held around the Malvern district, following a request to hold these at a later time. It was agreed to change to 5pm to 7pm, allowing people to attend after finishing work.

The Board will not have drop-in sessions during the months of June, July and August. There will be a drop-in session scheduled for September and this will be advertised closer to the time.

Please be reminded that there is still funding available in the Malvern Community Board Discretionary Fund, which can be applied for on Council’s website at: www.selwyn.govt.nz/ services/funding-And-grants/discretionary-funding For further information on this funding, you are welcome to email the Accounts Officer on: grants@selwyn.govt.nz or talk to any Board member.

Next meeting

Monday 28th June - 4pm Darfield Library & Service Centre Please contact the Board secretary board.secretary@selwyn.govt.nz to make an appointment if you wish to speak at a Board meeting about any community issue that concerns you.

PUBLIC NOTICES

PUBLIC NOTICES

PUBLIC NOTICES

MALVERN Writers’ Café - Do you need a space to write? Meet other local writers, fiction/ nonfiction, and write in a friendly, s upportive environment. Darfield Library, 2nd Tues of the month, 10am -12pm. $2 per session.

Email: fimaddison@gmail.com

10th - 14th July 2021 Trinity Church Hall

AGM

TUESDAY 8TH JUNE 12pm noon At the MenzShed McLaughlins Road.

WANTED:

Used Books, Jigsaw Puzzles, DVDs & CDs No Magazines or School Text Books.

Please drop items off at Trinity Church, McLaughlins Road, Darfield.

Tickets available at Kirwee Auto or Malvern News (Cash only)

MAY: • 29May-24Jun

Art Exhibition - Between Mountains & Sea

JUNE: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

2nd June 2nd June 2nd June 2&3 June 7th June 8th June 8th June 8th June 11th June 12th June 12th June 14th June 15th June 17th June 19th June 21st June 26th June 28th June 29th June

JULY:

• 5-8 July • 10-14 July • 31st July

1pm 7pm 8pm

10am 12pm 7pm 7pm 7pm

3:30pm 7pm 6:30pm 5pm 4pm

Te Huanui Gallery, Darfield

Ready for Audit? Drop-in Session Darfield Library Darfield Bowling Club AGM Darfield Bowling Clubrooms DHS Ex-Students Association - Special General Meeting Darfield High School Winter Feed Competition - Judging & Prizegiving - 3rd, 7pm Coalgate Tavern Tickets are on Sale for Selwyn Awards 2021 today WINTER WARMTH FEATURE - Final Advertising Deadline (Published in 11th June issue) Darfield MenzShed AGM MenzShed, McLaughlins Rd Springfield School Public Meeting - 150th Jubilee Tawera Com. Hall, Springfield Selwyn Awards 2021 Applications Close today Black Tie Event - Kirwee Netball & Rugby Fundraiser Kirwee Community Hall Port Hillbillies Playing Live Oxford Town Hall Malvern Community Board Drop-in Session Venue TBC SDC Rates (1st April 2021-30th June 2021) are due today Selwyn MP Nicola Grigg - Public Meeting Rolleston College, Theatre Darfield Rugby Club Mid Winter Christmas Party Rugby Clubrooms Friends of Kirwee Model School AGM Kirwee Model School Matariki in Malvern Darfield Recreation Centre Malvern Community Board Monthly Meeting Darfield Library Selwyn Youth Project Fund - applications close today Agri Training Webinar Malvern Parish Book Fair Selwyn Awards 2021 Gala Dinner

Trinity Church Hall

Friday 4th June 2021 PUBLIC NOTICES

Page 13 PUBLIC NOTICES

PUBLIC NOTICES

Winter Warmth Feature

We will be publishing a Winter Warmth Feature in the 11th June issue of the Malvern News, including advertising for all things to keep warm during winter!

If you are interested in being included, please get in touch for further information or to save a space!

Deadline for saving space in this Feature is 1pm Friday 4th June, content confirmation 10am Tuesday 8th June at the latest.

Phone: 03 318 7450  Email: info@malvernnews.co.nz

EMAIL US FOR ANY PRINTING REQUIREMENTS! ————————————————————————————

Document printing Scanning  Laminating Flyers  Posters  Menus Invitations  Programme CV’s  Business Cards ————————————————————

Email us at...

info@malvernnews.co.nz

PUBLIC MEETING

150th Jubilee

The Springfield School 150th Jubilee is being held in early 2022. If you are interested in helping out with the Jubilee, please come along to the meeƟng.

TUESDAY 8TH JUNE 2021, AT 7PM

Tawera Community Hall, Springfield Enquiries to Pam on 021 2967685 CANVAS

CANVAS

ACCOUNTANTS ARE you wasting your valuable time trying to keep up with your accounts?

Call us now for hassle-free accounting, tax and business advice - all right on your doorstep. Sterling Accountants @ Malvern Business Hub, Ann-Maree 021 215 0981.

AUTOMOTIVE DARFIELD Automotive. Service & warrant centre. 3D wheel aligner. 7:30am - 5:30pm, Monday - Friday. Your onestop auto shop! Phone 03 318 8113.

PHONE: 03 323 6536 MOBILE: 027 323 6536 Tarpaulins  AWNINGS  Boat Covers Canvas Supplies  Tent Repairs Leather Work  SADDLERY

WINDSOCKS & FRAMES 515 Finlays Road, West Melton, Christchurch, 7675 CATTERY

CATS on Courtenay Boutique Boarding Cattery!

• •

Purpose built, nestled in a tranquil, rural setting.

Close proximity to all main centres.

Phone: 027 433 3564

www.catsoncourtenay.nz Check us out on Facebook!

‘CATS ON COURTENAY’

Darfield Life Church

Conservatorium trained musician/teacher all ages.

Beginner to Advanced.

Contact Antoinette on

021 194 7347 CARPET NEED carpet? Go local!

Very competitive pricing, seldom beaten. 30 years servicing this area. In home sample service, also repairs and installations.

Please phone Alan Roberts 021 227 2080.

CHIMNEY CLEANING CARRS Chimney Cleaning.

Servicing the Selwyn district. $60 per chimney. Phone Rodney on 03 324 2999 and leave a message.

CHIM Chim. We'll sweep your log-burners flue, check the firebricks, baffles, air-tubes and controls. We're experts on coal-ranges, also sweeping any sized open fire. We quote and undertake repairs, flue extensions and install bird netting. 0800 224 464 Members NZHHA. COUNSELLING

‘Angelcatscattery’

Ph Anne, Vern or Gareth Whiting

CHURCH NOTICES

SUNDAY 6TH JUNE 2021 At 10:30am

Steve & Patience Pona Ph: 022 642 5805 17 North Terrace, Darfield

FIREWOOD & COAL FIREWOOD dry West Coast beech, 3cm $350. Pine, 3cm $200. free delivery in Kirwee area. Phone 318 1155.

COAL

FOR SALE Phone 318 1530 R K FIREWOOD Supplying wood for this Winter!

Old Man Pine, Bluegum, Macrocarpa, Oregon.

TRY THE HOT MIX! E pos available.

All top quality, clean wood.

Phone Rini

027 451 7300

FOR SALE

POINT of lay hyline/shavers EXPERIENCED counsellor pullets for sale. Please phone available to provide focus and 021 863 158. support. Dawn Logan BA WOOD shavings - untreated, (Psyc) Cert Psyc Care (Otago) clean shavings suitable for A&D Counselling (C.I.T). Ph horse stables, calving sheds, 027 252 7533. chicken houses and rabbit h ut c he s . A v a i l a bl e i n DOGS 70L bags, 1m 3 bales (compressed) and bulk delivery. Phone 03 344 1676 for more details.

Run solely for the comfort & convenience of the cats!

Pick-up & delivery available.

Phone Julia: 03 312 1452 or 021 0424 367 Email: angelcats@xtra.co.nz | Web: angelcatscattery.vpweb.co.nz

CHURCH NOTICES

Piano Lessons

OXFORD BOARDING KENNELS

CATTERY

CATTERY BASED IN OXFORD

CATTERY

PUBLIC NOTICES

312 Kiri Kiri Rd, Oxford

03 312 3355 027 288 8724

OPEN 7 DAYS 9am-11am, 4pm-6pm Inspection welcome

DRIVEWAYS LIFESTYLE, farm tracks, yards and dairy lanes our speciality.

Screned rotten-rock, it’s local and lasts better. Springfield Quarry phone 318 4132.

GARDENING GENERAL garden maintenance in Darfield area. Domestic hedge trimming, pruning & edging. Please phone Kane 027 467 6613.

HEALTH ALTERNATIVE pain solutions with FSM (Frequency Specific Microcurrent). All natural, safe and non-invasive. Gentle enough for children, powerful enough for athletes. Fully certified with 20 years experience. For more info, please call 03 343 4334 or see my website: www.westmeltonwellness.co.nz

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 14 HEDGE TRIMMING

HEDGE TRIMMING

UNDER PIVOT TRIMMING! Phone Chris O’Donnell 027 210 2532 | 03 318 8479 Email: ruralgorsehedge@gmail.com

HEDGEHOG Hedge & Shelterbelt Trimming Owner Operated Geoff 021 549 499 A/h 03 324 3482

Hedge Trimming in Canterbury

Call Don today on 021 066 3011 or 03 318 2983 • Half size tractor for

easier access • Up to 6m height topped at 5m or less • Branch size up to 50mm • Cutter drops material to side of hedge.

LIFESTYLE BLOCK LIFESTYLE block maintenance.

Weed spraying, mowing, hedge trimming. General farm/ garden maintenance. Animal health. Sheep transport.

Phone 027 262 9200.

PAINTING & DECORATING

SITUATION VACANT GARDEN Guru’s Ltd. Staff required for new gardening and landscaping business. Full and part-time. Knowledge of plants a great advantage.

Drivers licence essential. Email ggurus.office@gmail.com PEST CONTROL SPIDERBAN NC LTD. Darfield owned and operated since 2008. Voted 2nd of Top 5 Pest Control Businesses in Christchurch, by Top Reviews NZ. Call Brian Walker for your pest control requirements! Phone: 0800 667 778.

PAINTER & wall paperer!

Qualified, with 20 years’ experience in Canterbury.

Free measure and quote.

References are available to view on my website: wallpaperingbyandrewgill.co.nz ROOF MAINTENANCE Please phone Andre w ROOF & property services. 2 021 272 7372 or email storey work! Roof leak repairs gillpaintpaper@slingshot.co.nz (incl Butynol), moss control, silicone seal, spouting clean & repairs, spider & fly control, bird proofing, roof painting.

All roof & spouting types.

Call Arthur’s, 7 days, ‘For all your decorating needs’ 03 347 2635, 027 484 7980 Micky Conway or 027 584 7980.

Painter & Decorator ROOM TO RENT Darfield Based SINGLE lockable rooms Will cover all areas in Darfield Hostel. Internet, Contact Micky on sky TV. $170pw. Phone 021 125 1613 027 479 1431 or 318 3660. conwaydecor@hotmail.com FULLY INSURED

PAINTING & DECORATING

Udi Painting & Decorating For all Painting and Decorating services!

Interior & Exterior Painting & Plastering Fully Qualified  Wallpapering Roof Painting  Quality Services Free Quotes.

Contact Udi Aale 021 074 2075

LOCKSMITH LOCKSMITH Selwyn based 24hr mobile service, keys cut and general lock and safe maintenance. EFTPOS available. Call Locktight Security 021 171 8060.

General Painting & Property Repairs

SERVICES

Contact Dave on 021 142 0567 or email: pearsondavid106@gmail.com

Looking for

LARGE TREE SHELTERBELTS!

Will pay good money for the right trees, any species considered.

WE CAN START IMMEDIATELY!

Clean & tidy workers.

Fully qualified crew for the job!

Call Rini on

027 451 7300

Roof Painting  Gib Stopping  Wallpapering

40 years experience!

SITUATION VACANT

SITUATION VACANT

A part time position exists in a home run export and retail business for a person with advertisement writing experience, invoicing and dispatching of spare parts.

Initially the position will involve working 3 x four hour days, with the possibility of extending the hours over time.

Some flexibility is also available with regard to start times and the days to be worked.

This position could potentially suit an ex-real estate agent or a person with good advertisement writing skills.

For further information please call Geoff on

027 477 0070

SITUATION VACANT

SITUATION VACANT

Farm Worker Wanted 3 month winter contract, attractive hourly rate.

• 4 minutes north of Darfield.

• Main duties will be feeding out to and shifting break fences for sheep & cattle.

• Experience driving a tractor required.

• A willingness to learn, adapt, and use common sense essential.

• 8am – 1pm, Monday – Friday.

• Additional hours by mutual agreement.

Phone or text Gareth, 021 622 196

CASUAL  PART TIME  FULL TIME Day shifts, night shifts & weekend work available to suit your needs. agstaff.co.nz

Forklift Operators & Manufacturing Positions Available

0800 AGSTAFF jobs@agstaff.co.nz

CALF REARER AND / OR PERMANENT PART TIME ROLE

AVAILABLE ON FARM We are looking for a fit intelligent person to join our calf rearing team and for the right person we could provide addi onal hours over the season if required.

Experience not essen al but an advantage.

Happy to train the right person.

Regular flexible me off and excellent facili es.

We can provide accommoda on in a furnished shared accommoda on house or drive in works as well.

Phone Shaun 0274826600 or email teawa@craigmore.com

GET A CAREER IN DAIRY FARMING If you are fit intelligent and enjoy the outdoors with an interest in animals, we would like to genuinely support you develop a career in the Dairy Industry.

TeAwa Dairy has a role available with its team milking and caring for its stock. Hours and me off designed to give a life outside the farm. We do provide regular sleep ins and me off, but when milking you will be up in the dark and working in the rain or sun every day.

The ideal person will have a year or more experience on farm or a mechanical or trade background but if you have a great a tude can ride a motorbike we want to hear from you. Must hold valid full driver license and own vehicle.

The property is located 10 minutes from Rakaia 35 minutes from Rolleston/Ashburton & has excellent modern facili es and equipment.

There is furnished single accommoda on shared with one employee available on farm but we would consider a drive in for a local in the Selwyn District.

Please email teawa@craigmore.com with your CV or call Shaun on 0274826600 to discuss.

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 15 SCRAP METAL

SITUATION VACANT

CARPENTERS OR HAMMER HANDS REQUIRED For further information, please phone Lance on

027 489 2213 WANTED

AMMUNITION and reloading equipment. Powder projectiles, presses etc. Any calibre rifle / shotgun.

Anything hunting related.

Cash buyer. Contact Rob 03 342 5885.

BUYING possum fur. Phone Charlie on 027 458 6338.

LP records, CDs & books.

Phone Rodney 03 324 2999 and leave a message.

WINDOW TINTING

TRADES

W A N T E D ! B e s t p r i c e s ! TINT-A-WINDOW Solar Protective Amalgamated Scrap Ltd. films. Fade UV block.

B u y i n g c a r s & f a r m Heat Glare control. Privacy. machinery. Specialising in farm Safety/Security. Frosted films. clean-ups. Rod McQuoid - Free online quotes. Ph buyer. Please phone either 0 8 0 0 3 6 8 4 6 8 .

027 695 0480 or alternatively i n f o @ t i n t a w i n d o w . c o . n z 0800 030 712. www.tintawindow.co.nz WINDOW REPAIRS

WINDOW REPAIRS

 Retrofit Double glazing  Frameless showers  Repairs  Mirrors  Splashbacks  Pet doors and more

TRADES

Heat pump supply, installation, servicing & maintenance Give Nigel a call now for your no obligation free quote

Ph: 021 387 750

General household & business electrical work.

DAIKIN • MITSUBISHI • HITACHI

Your LOCAL & reliable tradesman

Locally owned and operated

03 318 3003

www.hunterglass.co.nz

TRADES

House & Roof Pre-Paint Wash Hydro Drain Cleaning

TENANCY RURAL Tenancy Inspections & Property Maintenance.

Contact Rebecca, by phone 027 313 2270, or email rebecca@ruraltenancy.co.nz

Cleans most surfaces: fences, paths, brick, block, wood, concrete & machinery.

TRADES

Moss Treating:

roofs, footpaths & driveways.

Free Quotes. Ph Mike Richards 03 318 8380 or 021 179 0584

WINDOW CLEANING

COUNTRY TOUCH

WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES Darfield, Burnham, Greendale, Hororata, Sheffield, Springfield & Kirwee areas, phone or text Darryl: 027 316 9968 All other areas, including West Melton & Rolleston, phone or text Wilf: 022 044 0654 WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES

Andrew Love

Contract Window Cleaning Commercial  Residen al Free Quotes E: torque_roll@hotmail.com

M: 021 818 816 COMPUTER

WINDOW REPAIRS SHELLEY’S Glass and Glazing.

Got a broken glass window?

Insurance work, Pet doors, Mirrors, Retro Refits, Single/ Double glazing, Splashbacks, Fire Glass. 32 years in the glass industry. Operates in Oxford, Cust, Darfield, Rolleston, West Melton & Surrounding Areas. Call your local Glazier - Mark on 03 312 3253 or 0272 426 368.

Maintenance Renovations & new builds Pump servicing and installation Water filter installation Water pump hire Supply and installation of septic tank systems • Gas and wood fire installation • IQP in backflow prevention • Teatsprayer servicing • • • • • •

0800 752 400

plainspgd@gmail.com

COMPUTER

SuperComputer

DARFIELD BASED

Sales and Service of new and used machines.

Networking, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it Virus protecliving someone else's life. \ Don't be trapped

by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking."

- Steve Jobs.

Contact Mark Jones 0800 427 427 www.supercomputer.co.nz

mark@supercomputer.co.nz

Friday 4th June 2021

Page 16

Daily On Site Sales & Servicing

Authorised Service Agent for Most Brands since 1996!

• Ovens Machines • Cooktops • Dryers • Washing Machine • Dishwashers Hire from $8 p.w.

Darfield based with over 38 years of local knowledge and experience

• Washing

Reg. Service Technician

Septic Tank Cleaning Jetting Unit for blocked drains Camera Investigations | Port-a-loo hire Office 318 8609 | 0274 338 693 | admin@leechdrainage.co.nz

RURAL PLUMBING SERVICES LTD Simon O’Connell • Certifying Plumber M: 021 048 4799 • H: 03 317 9174 E: simon@rpsltd.co.nz

TRADES NEW kitchens, wardrobes, laundries or what ever you need! Remodelled or just new doors. Good advice, good price. Ring Lex 03 349 0150 or 027 439 3926.

Darfield based, working Canterbury wide.

Tiler & Registered

All Maintenance, Hot Water Cylinders, Log burners, Spouting, Rainwater Harvest, Wetbacks, Pumps, Alterations (new and existing)

Water Proofer

david wilkinson registered electrician phone 03 318 1231 fax email

03 318 1235 sales@electricalcontractors.co.nz

po box 26 kirwee

we’ll be there when you need us. guaranteed.

on time guaranteed or your first hour is free! conditions apply.

Look me up on www.mytradesman.co.nz

or phone 03 318 1973 or 027 421 1637 e: bowentiling@gmail.com

• • • •

ACER TRAVELMATE B311

New Computers • Virus Removal Laptops • Problem Upgrades Solving Software

• 11.6" HD Display • Celeron N4120,

4GB DDR3L RAM

• 128GB SSD • Integrated

Closed Saturdays

Jon Lawrence

Ph: 03 318 3699 Mob: 027 688 9103

Graphics

• Windows 10 Pro

Academic 64-bit

$675 Incl GST

malcomputers02@gmail.com

• Certifying Gasfitters • Certifying Plumbers • Heat Pumps • Log Burners • Solar • Electrical Service Technician New Builds • System Design • Vehicles

Visit: www.selwyngasfitters.co.nz for a full list of services

Phone 03 420 1020 • 021 732 331

Home Improvements, Alterations, Repairs Re-lining, Weatherboard Replacements, Fences & Decks

Murray Thomas

Ph: 027 809 4929 | E: mactcon@gmail.com

UPHOLSTERER Recover: Lounge Suites Dining Chairs Squabs etc Free Quotes Based in Weedons Phone: 03 980 4979

In Centre

Online

CONTACT MANDY JOHNSTON (MRS J)

03 318 1552  027 337 8819 

1362 Courtenay Road, Kirwee www.kipmcgrath.co.nz/darfield or find Kip McGrath Darfield on Facebook

Qualified Certifying Plumber & Gasfitter

Contact Caleb Lamborn  Phone 027 4722 021

An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRD office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRD agent.

"I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRD agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye, and bites it. The IRD agent is dumbfounded.

The old man bets $3,000 he can bite his other eye. The IRD agent knows there's no way possible to do this, so he once more agrees. The old man cackles, pulls out his dentures, and bites his eye. Then the old man finally wagers, "I bet $20,000 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk, and get it into your wastebasket, without missing a single drop."

The agent knows he won't be able to, so once more he agrees. The old man indeed misses, peeing all over the desk, and on the paperwork. The IRD agent jumps for joy, but then notices the attorney over in the corner moaning. "Are you all right?" asks the agent. "No! On the way over here, he bet me $400,000 he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

NEXT ISSUE - Friday 11th June 2021

EDITORIAL DEADLINE: 1pm, Sunday 6th June (early due to Queen’s Birthday).

ADVERTISING DEADLINE: 10am, Tuesday 8th June at the latest.