INSIDE THIS ISSUE: Singin’ In The Rain
2
On Our Doorstep
3
Response Team Need You!
3
New Office Opening
4
Heritage Building Restoration
5
Book Winner
6
Writer’ Café & Retreat
6
Outside Kinda Kids’
6
Nourish - Orchard Maintenance Workshop
8
Youth Parliament
8
Operation Kirsty
8
Samantha For Malvern Ward
9
Do You Know Your Ward?
9
Kirwee Recreation Reserve
10
Letters To The Editors
11
U15 Red Team
11
Sports Results
12
Public Notices
12-13
100th Game
12
Save The Date
12
Classifieds
13-15
Trades
15-16
Email Column
16
♦ Weekly Newspaper ♦ Business Cards ♦ Photocopying ♦ LaminaƟng ♦ Binding ♦ Typeseƫng
If you know of something newsworthy, we’d like to know too!
Phone: 03 318 7450 Email: info@malvernnews.co.nz Website: www.malvernnews.co.nz
Local Greendale resident Amelia Ridgen and her teammate Erin Humm from Pigeon Bay have taken out the national title for FMG Junior Young Farmer of the Year 2022, at the recent Grand Final in Whangarei. Both girls are in Year 13 at Christchurch Girls High School (CGHS) and board at Acland House. It’s the second year they have competed in the competition together, and after attaining fourth place at the Grand Final last year, they vowed to continue to better their performance, so they were delighted to win. This year’s competition started for the pair in February, when they competed in the Tasman Regional Final against thirty five other teams from the top half of the South Island, to secure a spot to go on to the Grand Final. The event saw two teams from each of the seven regions around New Zealand compete against one another over two days. The competition on Thursday involved a 1½ hour written
exam. On Friday, through heavy rain and mud, the practical exam involved seven modules, a farmlet and a five minute speech. This practical section covered topics including health and safety, design and build a footbridge over a waterway, plant identification and planting plans, biosecurity, animal welfare, wool, kumara, soil science and firefighting. After the practical section, the competition was narrowed down to the top five teams, who went head-to-head in the quiz section later that evening. Amelia and Erin won the quiz section, which was enough to put them in the lead and win overall. They are only the second ever all female team to do this. Second place went to Napier Boys High School, and third place to ex-Southland Girls High School students. This award for Amelia and Erin is a culmination of many months of hard work, honing their practical and academic skills, on top of their usual
ISSUE 1,047 Friday 29th July 2022
Erin Humm and Amelia Ridgen. schoolwork. Amelia attended Greendale Primary School from Year 1 - 6, Darfield High School in Year 7 8 and CGHS from Year 9 - 13. Incidentally, one of last year’s Grand Final winners, Sophie
Adkins (Mount Hutt College), also attended Greendale Primary School! Both Amelia and Erin are attending Lincoln University next year, to study for a Bachelor of Agricultural Science.
Friday 29h July 2022
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ANNABEL’S EDUCARE & 3 YR & 4 YR OLD KINDERGARTENS 12-16 South Tce, Darfield Educare Ph 318 7943 3 Year Ph 318 7948 • 4 Year Ph 318 8843
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SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN Kirwee Players are ‘makin’ it rain’ this season! The movie musical ‘Singin’ in the Rain’, earned the top spot on the AFI’s (American Film Institute) 100 Years of Musicals list, and in 2007, was ranked as the fifth greatest motion picture of all time. Now adapted for the stage, Singin' in the Rain ‘pours’ down delight, capturing the waning days of the silent screen era as they give way to the newfangled ‘talkies’ era. It focuses on romantic lead Don Lockwood (played by Scott Christie), his sidekick Cosmo Brown (played by Daniel Mathers), aspiring actress Kathy Selden (played by Ali Diamond), and Lockwood's leading lady Lina Lamont (played by Clare Hamilton), who’s lessthan- dulcet vocal tones make her an unlikely candidate for stardom in talking pictures. Don Lockwood is a silent film star, with humble roots as a musician, dancer and stunt man. Don barely tolerates his vapid leading lady, Lina Lamont, who is convinced that their screen romance is real, although Don tries to tell her otherwise. After the first talking picture, The Jazz Singer, proves to be a smash hit, the head of the studio, R. F. Simpson (played by Paul McIntosh), decides he has no choice but to convert the new Lockwood and Lamont film, The Dueling Cavalier, into a talkie. The production is beset with difficulties, by far the worst being Lina's comically grating voice. After a disastrous test screening, Don's best friend, Cosmo Brown, comes up with the idea to
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overdub Lina's voice and they convince Simpson to turn The Dueling Cavalier into The Dancing Cavalier, a musical comedy film. Meanwhile, Don falls in love with an aspiring actress, Kathy Selden, who is providing the voice for Lina. When Lina finds out, she is furious and does everything possible to sabotage the romance. She maliciously demands that Kathy continue to provide her voice in all future films, but remain uncredited. An irate, but desperate Simpson is forced to agree; Kathy has no choice because she is under contract. The premiere is a tremendous success. When the audience clamours for Lina to sing live, Don and Cosmo improvise and get Lina to lip-synch while Kathy sings into a second microphone while hidden behind the curtain.
Unbeknownst to Lina, as she starts ‘singing’, Don, Cosmo and Simpson gleefully raise the curtain behind her, revealing the deception. Kathy becomes a star, and Lina is finished. This spectacular musical is not to be missed - contrary to the name Singin’ in the Rain - this musical features a lot of dancing (tap in particular). Kirwee has been lucky enough to attract some professionals to help bring this musical to life with some very impressive and elaborate dancing! Filled with laughs from start to finish too - this show will not disappoint, we guarantee you’ll leave with a feeling of nostalgia and a smile on your face! Tickets are on sale now via Try Booking - support local talent and get yours today! (show dates, 5th - 7th and 10th - 13th August).
Cosmo and Don get creamed pied. Played by Scott Christie and Daniel Mathers.
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ON OUR DOORSTEP Celebrate local talent with Te Huanui for the month of August! ‘On Our Doorstep’ showcases the works of Olwyn McKinlay, Joan Pascoe, Lenore Ashby and Vicki Knudsen, ranging from watercolour and collage through to detailed works made of wire. The exhibition runs from Friday, July 29th until Thursday, August 25th. Please note that there is no official opening for this exhibition. Joan Pascoe lives locally on a farm in Charing Cross. She enjoys exploring different styles and techniques with colour and texture using acrylics, watercolour, ink and collage. She has been inspired by Svetlana Orinko and Patterson Parkin, along with others who have tutored her over the years. Joan’s name might be familiar to those who’ve followed the local art scene, having exhibited at Nut Point and Te Huanui. She was also a prize winner at Darfield Artweek in 2020. Darfield local, Lenore Ashby, has always had an interest in unusual crafts. From making baskets and balls with garden prunings, to hats from pine needles. In 2010, Lenore and her husband were en route to Fo Guang Yuan
Art Gallery on Riccarton Road, when she picked up a small reel of copper wire. Wondering if she could knit wire and cotton together, she has been hooked ever since. Presently, Lenore knits with a variety of colours, threads and needles, having learnt from this craft that ‘nature’s way is best!’. Olwyn McKinlay has lived in the Selwyn District for forty nine years, starting art when her family left home. Olwyn loves watercolour with a passion, enjoying the magic of water and paint. She also enjoys acrylic for its strength and vibrancy, especially in abstract painting. Olwyn loves colour in her life, so art and home décor, along with gardening fills her life. Olwyn had lessons from Svetlana Orinko initially, then Patterson Parkin and attended workshops with several artists. She’s been exhibiting at Darfield Artweek since 2001, won the Acquisitive Award in 2003, and has exhibited at Brighton and Darfield several times. Vicki Knudsen is a familiar name in the Malvern area for those following the arts,. She is well known for her life drawing and watercolour paintings. Largely self-taught, gleaning
tips from courses she has undertaken. Vicki has exhibited often throughout the Selwyn, Waimakariri and Ashburton districts, picking up awards throughout her artistic career. See advertisement alongside for more details.
Artwork by Joan Pascoe.
Artwork by Olwyn McKinlay.
THE RESPONSE TEAM NEED YOU! When the next emergency occurs, such as an earthquake, flooding, vegetation fire, wind or hail storm, will you be prepared? You may be on your own nobody will be coming to help you. This is where we all have to work together. The Community Response Model works by having neighbours looking after each other and seeking assistance from outside their group if necessary. If this cannot be provided locally, the Community Response Team (CRT) will seek help from Selwyn District Council’s Emergency Team. Should this be a major event, council assistance will be focused on the areas of greatest need. At street level, the local CRT are looking for people who can provide up-to-date information on their area, and who will be aware of those most vulnerable
and needing immediate information to best help us all. assistance eg: those without Please consider becoming your power (especially those needing street contact. It’s not a hard job, just being aware of who your power for medical devices), neighbours are and those heating, shelter and food. Neighbours can pool resources vulnerable ones who may need where possible eg: barbecue, help and reporting to the CRT team. meals, heating (log burner) etc. The local CRT team will be If you are interested in finding out further information or operating from the Civil Defence Centre (probably would like to become a street contact, email: Darfield Community Centre if crtdarfield@gmail.com it’s safe) and will need your
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Friday 29h July 2022
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NEW OFFICE OPENING
Kieran Heenan kph@meareswilliams.co.nz
Anita Molloy-Roberts am@meareswilliams.co.nz W: www.meareswilliams.co.nz T: (03) 374 2547 Offices located at: Lincoln - 43 Gerald Street Rolleston - 80A Rolleston Ave Christchurch - 225 Papanui Rd
Rebecca Smith
Phone: 027 313 2270
Email: rebecca@ruraltenancy.co.nz Website: www.ruraltenancy.co.nz WE HAVE MOVED TO NEW PREMISES… 1972 Telegraph Road, Darfield
PGG Wrightson Real Estate Limited is New Zealand’s only nationwide non-franchised Real Estate company, assisting clients throughout the country and across the globe to buy and sell New Zealand property. We are a national network of experienced, local Real Estate agents, who have been connecting people with property across the country for generations. While responsible for around one-third of all New Zealand farm transactions, we have a great team of experienced, dedicated salespeople who specialise in residential and lifestyle as well. We live in your region, and we understand your local market conditions. Our award-winning Real Estate agents are known for their local knowledge, strong community connections, excellent communication and deep understanding of the New Zealand property market, and will work hard to deliver results that achieve your business or personal objectives.
We believe Darfield and the surrounding area has so much to offer, so we are pleased to be opening a new office in a great location, beside Lumino the Dentist on South Terrace, where we can promote our local listings and continue to offer a professional service to all of our clients. To celebrate the opening of our new office we are running
a ‘List and Win’ promotion with a wonderful weekend in Kaikoura to be won. So call one of our local team today to find out more as we look forward to marketing your Residential, Lifestyle and Rural properties.
Min Cookson Ph 027 249 5417
Rob McGregor Ph 021 334 469
Karen Hennessy Ph 027 967 0186
Mark Terry Ph 027 572 2559
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Friday 29th July 2022
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HERITAGE BUILDING RESTORATION DARFIELD - Premium Opportunity Awaits 48 Graeme Foote Street New brick home on large 1,711m2 section, 3 bedrooms, office, 2 bathrooms, modern kitchen, dining, lounge, north facing to capture the sun. Enquiries Over $850,000. Open Home Sat & Sun 1.30-2.00pm
DARFIELD - Wanted I have a buyer looking for a two bedroom home in the Darfield area. If you are thinking of selling please give me a call.
www.pggwre.co.nz The former South Malvern School after re-cladding. The wall, windows and chimney on the west wall have been completed. The South Malvern Community Charitable Trust has undertaken the restoration of the former South Malvern School, a category 2, Heritage New Zealand building, built in the 1880s. Once completed, the building, which is located in Whitecliffs, will be used as a Community Hall and Civil Defence Hub. The building is structurally sound but after falling into disrepair over the years, has suffered from extensive water damage. The community is fortunate to have qualified tradespeople who have volunteered their time and expertise for the restoration work, but funds are needed to purchase building materials. The Trust is grateful to Niagara Timber and Roofline for the provision of heavily discounted materials and to the Selwyn District Council and Fonterra for financial grants.
Over the past year, the west side of the old school building has been restored with new weatherboards, repointing of chimneys and new guttering. The Trust is currently fundraising for new main doors, and work continues to restore the east side of the building. There is still substantial interior restoration work to be undertaken, and The Trust is seeking donations to help with purchasing materials. To make a donation, phone 022 375 6157.
Locals can support The Trust’s efforts by attending A Family Fun Quiz Night, scheduled for Friday, August 5th, at 7pm at The Glentunnel Community Hall. Tables of 4 - 6 at $10/person, or head along and join a table on the night. Great raffle prizes are up for grabs, and a light supper will be provided. Please bring cash for raffles as no Eftpos is available. To book a table, contact Rosemary on 021 076 8234, or there will be door sales on the night.
Licenced under the REAA 2008
Min Cookson 027 249 5417 min.cookson@pggwrightson.co.nz
Friday 29h July 2022
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BOOK WINNER
Georgia Musson was the winner of the colouring competition that was in the Malvern News recently. She was delighted with her prize, a book ‘Sammy the Rooster’, kindly donated by local Author Alyse Boaz. Well done to everyone who entered the competition, there were some great artworks.
WRITERS’ CAFÉ & RETREAT The Malvern Writers’ Cafe is Saturday, July 30th, from 10am. and includes morning tea. a local group suitable for The Retreat is being held at the To enquire about bookings published and unpublished Darfield Library, it costs just $15 please phone Fi, 021 047 0066. fiction and non-fiction authors and writers of all genres. The group, which meets monthly at the Darfield Library on the second Tuesday of the month, recently welcomed Selwyn local and talented illustrator, Jessica Waters, to their meeting. Jessica discussed her work illustrating Karyn Wilson’s books, Kereru’s BBQ and Peka and Koro, Friends of the Forest. She brought along her working illustrations and explained the processes she worked through with the author to bring the stories to life. Rolleston-based illustrator and artist Jessica Waters with her People can learn how to promote original illustrations for children’s books at the their books at the Malvern Malvern Writers’ Cafe. Writers’ Retreat being held this
OUTSIDE KINDA KIDS’ Ex-local (now Christchurchbased), Sam Heselwood has recently released an intimate new single, ‘Outside Kinda Kids’. This song is an emotive single, with Sam paying homage to his youth. Sam looks back on his country upbringing as he explored his vast backyard without a care in the world. ‘Outside Kinda Kids’ puts forth the idea of re-connecting with the simpler times of childhood. In an era when people are connected 24/7 with technology,
sometimes we need to disconnect and focus on what’s important. “The song was written about growing up as a very outdoorsy kid. I had the country as my backyard. I used to make the most of the outdoors and was hardly ever inside. I watch kids these days with so many electronics in front of them, and I just want to make sure my kids experience the same childhood as I did,” Sam explained. ‘Outside Kinda Kids’ is the latest in a series of break-out singles for Sam. The track follows ‘18’ and ‘Don’t Speak’, which saw Sam chart at number 4 on The Official Top 20 Hot NZ Singles
and 29th on the Top 40 Hot NZ Singles. This single continues the lead-up to the release of Sam’s forthcoming EP, Bloodline, which is due for release on the 19th of August, 2022.
Sam Heselwood recently released another single.
Friday 29th July 2022
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Friday 29h July 2022
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Orchard Maintenance Workshop (Focus on Fruit Trees) This is a hands-on working bee/workshop covering the following: 1: Tree health - mulching, feeding, and underplanting guilds. 2: Pruning - demonstration and have-a-go. 3: Organic options for controlling black spot. 4: Collecting and storing scion wood for future grafting. If possible please bring secateurs, a weeding tool, gardening gloves and a spade. This is a practical workshop where we will perform winter maintenance on our Darfield Community Garden Orchard. Everyone is welcome to this free event. View the Nourish Community Garden Facebook page for updates.
Garden Focus for August: • Prune pip fruit trees (apple,
spinach, beetroot), celery, leeks, pear, nashi, quince), walnuts, lettuce, mesclun, onions, parsley. grapevines, berries, currants • From late August, direct sow into and gooseberries. the garden beds: broad beans, carrot, coriander, peas, potatoes, • Plant strawberries. radish, rocket, spinach. • Plant garlic ASAP. • Chit - (sprout) potatoes. • Sow in trays inside, and pot-on the seedlings for planting out in • In early August, sow in trays October: inside: brassicas (broccoli, capsicums, cabbage, cauliflower, kale), chillies, tomatoes. chard (silverbeet, perpetual
ORCHARD MAINTENANCE WORKSHOP Saturday 30th July 2022
(Postponed to August 6th if wet) From 1pm - 3pm, at Darfield Community Garden (Almond Park, Russell Street, Darfield) ‘Nourish Community Garden - Darfield’ Community Garden meets Mondays 9 - 11am at Almond Park, Darfield.
YOUTH PARLIAMENT Selwyn Youth MP, Bobbie Hira attended Youth Parliament in Wellington, on July 19th and 20th. Youth Parliament 2022 had ten select committees, made up of Youth Members of Parliament. Each committee looked into an issue relevant to their subject area and asked for submissions from the public to assist their consideration of the issues. Youth Parliament was the most amazing experience, it was an honour to represent Selwyn and Nicola Grigg in the house. It was great also to meet different Youth MPs from across Aotearoa and discuss different issues facing our communities as rangatahi. I spoke in the general debate on how schools have a responsibility to uphold the treaty principles. This was a kaupapa that was extremely important to me as throughout most of my schooling I have not seen the representation of my culture in my education. Because of colonisation, Māori of all ages
have lost connections to their whakapapa and a sense of belonging. I based my speech on the Ministry of Education’s three objectives for school boards to follow, to ensure the treaty partnership is upheld in the classroom. They are: 1: To work to ensure their plans, policies, and local curriculum reflect local tikanga Māori, mātauranga Māori and te ao Māori 2: Taking all reasonable steps to make instruction available in tikanga Māori and te reo Māori 3: And achieving equitable outcomes for Māori students. I believe these are fundamental
principles to be upheld in kura so that Māori and tauiwi can experience an education that works for people of all cultures. Here in Selwyn, our population is growing bigger and bigger, and as well as that, we are growing in diversity. Our kura in our region and across Aotearoa need to include that growing diversity into the education of our youth so we can see all of them thrive. Me mahi tahi tātou mo te oranga o te katoa: We must work together for the well-being of all. Ng mihi nui, Bobbie Hira.
Bobbie Hira represented Selwyn and Nicola Grigg at Youth Parliament.
OPERATION KIRSTY The Police have announced a $100,000 reward for information about the murder of Ashburton teen Kirsty Bentley. Kirsty was last seen walking her dog on the afternoon of 31st December, 1998. Her body was found in the Rakaia Gorge more than two weeks later. “Police have gone to great lengths to explore all possible scenarios and investigative leads, and even after more than twenty years, we remain committed to holding the offender or offenders to account,” Detective Inspector Greg Murton said. “Our ultimate goal is to provide answers and a sense of closure for Kirsty’s family. “That’s why we’re offering up to $100,000 for material information or evidence leading to the identify and conviction of
the person or people responsible for her death. “Someone out there knows the truth. We urge them to do the right thing and finally come forward - if not for themselves, then for Kirsty and all those who loved her,” Greg concluded. Immunity from prosecution may be considered for any accomplice, not being the main offender. The offer will remain in place for six months. The Commissioner of Police will determine the amount of the reward and will, if necessary, apportion payment where there is more than one claimant. Anyone with information is asked to contact Police via 105 and reference Operation Kirsty. Alternatively, you can call Crime Stoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
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SAMANTHA FOR MALVERN WARD Kia ora. I am standing for Selwyn District Council to be a Councillor to represent the Malvern Ward. I am a proud Cantabrian, andI live in Kirwee. I grew up in Christchurch and graduated from the University of Canterbury in Chemical and Process Engineering (Hons). For over twenty years, I’ve worked in the food, petroleum, and dairy industries of New Zealand. Since 2019, I have volunteered on the Project Management Institute of New Zealand Board of Directors. I am also an Associate Member of
Institute of Directors. My pastime activities include playing football, golf and swimming, and I enjoy getting together with friends and family. The fresh perspective I will bring to council comes from the passion I have for our community and for turning concerns into action that improves the community’s wellbeing. We are fortunate to live in a rich, natural environment however, we need to work together to protect our natural capital and to work
towards a more sustainable lifestyle. My background in the sciences and project management will inform how I support our community and address difficult challenges like climate change that will affect future generations. Residents of rural areas should have a stronger voice at council. If elected, I will work with communities to define the outcomes that are important to them and work with them to implement solutions. I hope to be a regular visitor with Malvern Ward
residents and will work hard to represent them with integrity at council. The breadth of my professional experience and non-profit volunteer work has equipped me
with the skills necessary to work collaboratively with Malvern residents, to voice residents’ concerns at council, and to seek positive outcomes for us all.
Happy to discuss any issues: SamanthaSamuelforMalvern@gmail.com Authorised by Bronwyn McKavanagh, summerhillheights.nz, 10/1269 Christchurch Akaroa Road.
DO YOU KNOW YOUR WARD? Selwyn voters are being encouraged to familiarise themselves with new ward boundaries (as most of them have changed) for the upcoming local elections. An unprecedented population growth has resulted in a new Rolleston Ward, replacing the former Selwyn Central, with three councillors instead of the current four. All other wards keep the same
representation, but West Melton is now part of the Malvern Ward, while an area between Burnham and Rolleston moves to the Ellesmere Ward. The Malvern Community Board keeps five members elected from the Hawkins and Tawera subdivisions, plus a new subdivision covering West Melton. The total number of councillors drops from eleven to ten, elected
from the four wards, with the Mayor to be elected across the entire district. To check what ward you are in, see the maps online at: selwyn.govt.nz/elections Selwyn District Council’s web page is also the place to keep up to date with the latest elections information - including a list of confirmed candidates which will be regularly updated through the nominations period.
If you would like to hear more about me and why I am running for council or if you have issues you wish to discuss, please join me for a cuppa and homemade biscuits at the following informal public meetings: • Sheffield Community Hall • Sheffield Community Hall • Darfield Recreation Centre (Supper Rm) • Hororata Community Hall • Glentunnel Community Centre • Tawera Memorial Hall • Kirwee Community Hall • West Melton Community and Recreation Centre (Watson Oakley Rm)
Saturday 30th July 7 - 8pm Sunday 31st July 4 - 5pm Sunday 31st July 7 - 8pm Saturday 6th Aug 7 - 8pm Sunday 7th Aug 4 - 5pm Sunday 14th Aug 4 - 5pm Saturday 20th Aug 7 - 8pm Sunday 21st Aug
Hope to see you there
4 - 5pm
Page 10
Friday 29h July 2022
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As of July 1st, 2022, Kirwee Recreation Reserve Management Committee, along with other voluntary committees that managed and looked after reserves and community halls throughout the Selwyn District were dissolved. So ends some sixty plus years of a community elected and sports bodies representative committee, that have actively managed and developed the Kirwee Recreation Reserve that you see today. Never again will the management of the facilities be so cheap. In the six years that I (Raewyn Feast) have been Chairperson and for a further six years prior on this committee, we have undertaken major changes working with the Council. These have included the extensive makeover of the sports pavilion, building of changing rooms and support of the building of the new clubrooms by the rugby club back in 2012. Do not underestimate the value
Our Rolleston team can provide no obligation free quotes across the Selwyn and Waimakariri Districts for all your Civil needs. ACL are specialists in several civil disciplines and offer a wide range of services including: • Subdivisions • Earthworks • Concrete & Asphalt Driveways • Tennis Courts • Site Works - ResidenƟal & Commercial
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of local knowledge and skill set that a community committee such as ours brings in the management and development of such a facility. The extension to the Reserve came about by the perseverance and determination of this committee. The Council was not initially in favour of such an extension, believing that the size of the original Reserve (approximately 4.65 hectares) was adequate for the size of the then growing Kirwee township. However, sports groups required more playing area and local knowledge of future new subdivisions finally swayed the Council in allowing us to purchase from the Council additional land (total area now is 11.16 hectares). With community consultation, the additional land has been developed with plantings, new fields, including an additional rugby field and field lights, a dedicated cricket oval and new cricket nets, and the nearly completed new playground. It is hoped the new playground will be available to the community by the end of the month. Further plantings of this area and along the road frontage of Tramway Road, are to be completed in early spring. The openness of the grounds allows the rest of the community to enjoy when sports are not being played. Local input by the Management Committee has meant that the irrigation of the Reserve now utilises water from the CPW irrigation scheme and is no longer from the valuable town water supply. What is left to do from the master plan? More plantings, more car parks in the Reserve particularly on the extension, a half basketball court and hoop, and later toilets on the extended
area. This is now in the Council's hands as it implements the Long Term Plan. At this time, I wish to acknowledge the hard work done by past committees of this Reserve and also to the members of the retiring Management Committee; Judith Pascoe (Malvern Community Board member), Glenn Sparrow, Tony Armstrong, Gary Feast, Trevor Wall, Adrienne Begg, Raymond Williams, Sam Truscott, Simon Earl, Lindsay Westaway and Ngaire Kent. Thank you for your untiring voluntary hours that you have given freely. I also would like to thank the numerous staff from the Council that we have worked closely with over the recent years. We leave the Reserve looking beautiful with its open rural outlook view of the Southern Alps and purposely developed for the Kirwee community. The challenge now is for the Council to complete the development as per the master plan, to maintain it to the high standards that the community has experienced under the watch of the various management committees of the Reserve. I hope the Council remembers that not ‘one size fits all’ and for the community to use the ‘Snap Send and Solve’ any issues that require attention from the Council. This is a free downloaded app on your phone. This is an effective means of informing the Council of issues at the Reserve from anything from rubbish, maintenance of both buildings and grounds and any other issues that you as a community person are concerned about at the Reserve. Raewyn Feast, Chairperson - Kirwee Recreation Reserve Management Committee.
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KIMBER RURAL FENCING
The informaƟon and opinions published are not necessarily those of the Malvern News proprietor. The final approval of leƩers for print, rests with the editor. LeƩers to the Editor should be no more than 200 words in length. LeƩers to the Editor won’t be considered for publicaƟon without the writer’s name (given and surname) and area of residence (not address) also being printed. LeƩers wriƩen using a pseudonym, are unable to be published.
To the Editor: Nicola Grigg, in her latest column, seemed to forget to mention that there is a world pandemic and a world recession, or that New Zealand has a low unemployment rate and our inflation rate is still lower than many countries. Also, a reminder that the National Government increased the minimum wage by $3.74 in nine years, grossly underfunded hospitals, police, schools, etc, sold off over 7,000 state houses to rich developers, made over fifty truancy officers redundant (who knew the children and families well) and centralised and outsourced the service (rates of truancy have increased ever since). All I see in her column is a return to the above, which is evidenced by them wanting to remove energy payments, take a holiday day, return to a low-wage economy and a casualised workforce, etc. No thanks. Vicky Frost, Coalgate.
The News team contacted Nicola Grigg to give her the opportunity to respond to this letter in the same issue. Dear Reader, Thank you for sharing your concerns, however, I must respectfully disagree with your letter. Under a National Government, the inflation rate was considerably lower than what we are experiencing today, which meant National did not have to increase the minimum wage as aggressively to keep up with wage growth. Inflation is now running laps around wage growth because Labour has lost focus on the economy. Despite warnings from the Treasury, the Government’s only response to current pressures has been to spend more money - and then increase taxes to pay for it. National also increased health spending every year that we were in Government, and we will do so again. But we will also link spending growth to better
U15 RED TEAM
CONTINUING THE TRADITION OF QUALITY FENCING SINCE 1995! For all types of fencing!
outcomes - such as academic achievement or elective surgeries, depending on the Government agency involved. Currently, the Government is spending money without any focus on delivery, which is why health outcomes are getting worse, including ED wait times, specialist wait times, and surgery wait times. The Government is also refusing to take responsibility for a horrific increase in living costs by blaming international events, yet it is domestic pressures that are making the problem worse. The Minister of Finance was warned by the Treasury that spending more money would make inflation worse, but he did it anyway. Failed immigration settings are worsening widespread skills shortages, driving up costs and prices. Failed housing policies such as KiwiBuild and new rental laws - are pushing up rents because of the ensuing market shortage.
Glenn Kimber - Phone: 027 222 9899 Email: kimber.fence@gmail.com
MOBILE SEED CLEANING SERVICE
On farm seed dressing & treating. For all your dressing & scalping needs phone Jeff on
027 653 7969
Chemicals supplied on request
- 24 & 32 Metre Boom Widths Mike Wilson - Owner Operator Ph: 027 2929 460 E: centralcanterburyspraying@gmail.com
Nicola Grigg, MP for Selwyn.
Offering: packaged excavation, foundation, drainage & concrete services
We can provide tailored packages for projects of all sizes. Excavation work through to finished foundations, patios, driveways and drainage. Call in and see us at our new office,
Contact our based in Darfield experienced team for a fully inclusive quote, packaged to suit your needs - 021 0252 6012 Darfield High School (DHS) student, Quinn McClimont was selected to play in the U15 Canterbury Red Basketball Team. The team has just finished competing in the Mainland Basketball Tournament, which was held at the Selwyn Sports Centre. This is Quinn's first year in the U15 grade, and he managed to get the starting role of power forward or small forward, in four of the five games the team played. Quinn was recognised by the opposition in all the games as one of the best defensive players. He also had one of the highest percentages for shots made in his team. Quinn is also a valuable member of the DHS Crocs Squad (Year 9 - 10 Tournament team) . He is the only Year 9 player in the squad. The Crocs head to Nelson for Winter Tournament week at the end of August, to compete in the SISS Basketball Competition.
Rural Fields Your agricultural contracƟng partner Ploughing
Cultivation
Drilling
Mowing
David: 027 659 6596 Sean: 027 466 7739 E: ruralfields@xtra.co.nz
www.ruralfields.co.nz
Friday 29h July 2022
Page 12 SPORTS RESULTS
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
Malvern Miniature Rifle Association Season Aggregate 2022 Week 15 Season Average Master Grade > 97.75 John Wilson 194.5 97.15 A Grade 96.5 - 97.74 Regan Dalley 196.8 97.27 Piper Benbow 197.10 97.42 Nick Oakley 194.5 96.00 Tony Thompson 194.10 96.43 B Grade 94.00 - 96.49 Paul Still 189.5 95.87 Craig Benbow 192.10 94.21 Barry Hill 185.3 93.00 Karl Ridgen 192.5 95.64 C Grade 90.00 - 93.99 Liam Barnhill 196.5 93.71 Blake Woolley 188.4 92.50 Bruce Wilson 194.6 91.94 Brodie Mangels 187.2 91.00 Matt Pearce 195.6 93.11 Seth Wright 192.6 91.27 David Barnhill 174.3 90.07 D Grade < 90.00 Felix Jennings 90.0 89.42 Jayden Hugh 88.1 87.17 Zak Kershaw 83.1 84.54 Lexi ThompsonHall 89.1 90.75 Bench Rest - A Grade > 97.5 Glenn Ufton 97.6 99.00 Wayne Stott 97.6 97.00 Bench Rest - B Grade < 97.5 Glen Hitchcock 100.6 97.00 Steve Mildenhall 95.4 96.18 Rodger Hughes 94.3 95.00 For further information visit their Facebook page: Malvern Miniature Rifle Association.
FRIDAY 19TH AUGUST 2022 2:30pm, at the Darfield Library.
All Welcome!
AGM
Tuesday 16th August 7.30pm Darfield Tennis Clubrooms
DARFIELD GUN CLUB
11am
9am 1pm 1pm 10am 9am 10am 7pm 7:15pm 7:30pm 7:30pm 2:30pm 4pm 4pm 1pm
V
1:00pm Field 1
V
12:30pm Field 2
V
12:00pm Field 3 BDI
$5 gate fee | Hot food and drinks available
2022 AGM The Darfield Gun Club AGM will be held on
SUNDAY 7TH AUGUST Commencing at 10am At the Darfield Shooting Centre, Creyke Road. ALL WELCOME!
Last weekend, Sam Groundwater's played his 100th Division 1 game for Darfield Rugby Football Club against Southbridge. This is an incredible achievement but even more impressive when you note how many season ender injuries Sam has had, a thumb, two knees, an ankle and a hamstring. This shows the drive that Sam has to keep turning up, and now to receive his 100 game blazer is a testament to his commitment. When he's at his best he is a force to be reckoned with. Pictured alongside: DRFC President Sheldon Reed and Sam Groundwater.
7:30pm
2:45pm Field 1
Darfield Tennis Club
100TH GAME FOR DIV 1
8th July - 12th Aug 15th July- 12th Aug 29th July 29th July 29th - 31st July 29th July - 25th Aug 30th July 30th July 30th July 30th July 3rd Aug 5-7 & 10-13 Aug 6th Aug 6th-7th Aug 7th Aug 7th Aug 8th Aug 12th Aug 16th Aug 18th Aug 19th Aug 1st Sept 7th Sept 7th Sept 15th Oct
V
Euchre Evenings (over 6 Friday’s) Kirwee Bowling Club Selwyn Local Elections 2022 Nominations Open Nominations close for Malvern Community Board Community Services Awards Hazlett Livestock Clearing Sale - Hororata Duncans Road 29th Malvern Game Hunters Hunting Competition On Our Doorstep Art Exhibition Te Huanui Gallery, Darfield Live Music - Girls From Mars Darfield Hotel Ellesmere Rugby Finals Day Darfield Rugby Grounds Grand Opening - Café On The Green Hororata Golf Club Nourish Programme - Orchard Maintenance Workshop Darfield Community Garden ECan Drop-In Session Darfield Library Kirwee Players - Singin’ In The Rain Kirwee Community Hall KRFC Prizegiving Riccarton Racecourse Methven Craft Fair Mt Hutt Memorial Hall Great Oxford Garage Sale Trail Oxford Darfield Gun Club 2022 AGM Darfield Shooting Centre Darfield Cricket Club AGM Darfield Netball Clubrooms Darfield Rugby Football Club Quiz Night Darfield Recreation Centre Darfield Tennis Club AGM Darfield Tennis Clubrooms Malvern Community Patrol AGM Darfield Recreation Centre Malvern Community Vehicle Trust AGM Darfield Library Applications for the Malvern Farmers’ Vet Club Grants close today Glentunnel School - Board Parent Election Voting closes Sheffield School - Board Parent Election Nominations close NZDA - 50 Years Jubilee Darfield Shooting Centre
All locals, club members, ex-players, coaches, managers & committee members to support the
Darfield Div 1 Team
on Saturday as they look to bring Colemen Shield back to Darfield! 2:45pm v Prebbleton (Field 1)
50 Years Jubilee 1972 - 2022 All current and past member's welcome.
Saturday 15th October 2022 Darfield Shooting Centre. Activities from 1pm. Dinner & speeches from 6pm. $25 per person. Enquiries to Graham Williams 021 062 2788
Friday 29th July 2022 PUBLIC NOTICES
Page 13 PUBLIC NOTICES
GOLF RESULTS
CARPET
CARPET
CHURCH NOTICES
CHURCH NOTICES
Darfield Life Church
SUNDAY 31ST JULY 2022
GREENDALE GOLF
Villa available at Haunui Villa has open plan layout, is two bedroom and has an internally accessed garage. Please call if you would like to discuss in more detail.
Enquiries to Liz NaƩress 021 786 511 or Robin CaƩell 027 318 1045.
School Board Elections Parent Election Notice
Nominations are open for the election of two parent representatives to the school board. All eligible voters will receive a nomination form. Use this form to nominate yourself or someone in your community. You will also receive a nomination cover letter calling for nominations. Information on who is not eligible to be a board member is provided with the nomination form. If you need more nomination forms, contact the school office. Nominations close at noon on 3rd August 2022. You may provide a signed candidate statement (up to 400 words) and photograph with your nomination. The electoral roll is held at the school and can be viewed during normal school hours. As nominations are received, there will be a list of candidates’ names kept at the school up until election day, which you can view. Voting closes at 4pm on 7 September 2022. Signed Alison Brown, Returning Officer
The Malvern Farmers Vet Club Charitable Trust (MFVCCT) would like to invite individuals, community groups and organisations to apply for grants from our organisation. The MFVCCT purpose is to advance the welfare of our rural community and the individuals connected to the community. This involves distributing grants that meet the following criteria: • The strengthening of charitable community and voluntary organisations involved in the relief of poverty • The advancement of education • The provision of financial support for specific community projects that advance charitable purposes • The strengthening of charitable community and voluntary organisations • The provision of financial and other support in anticipation of or in response to emergencies or adverse events • The enhancement and retention of essential services that advance charitable purposes.
To apply for grants please visit: mfvc.org.nz for more information on the application process. All applications to be received by the 1st September.
Results 23rd July 2022 STABLEFORD 1st: B Sampson 38 2nd: R Williams 36 3rd: V Fitzgerald 36 4th: G Gifkins 35 5th: K Nagayama34 6th: C Watson 34 7th: J Redfern 33 8th: S Jeffs 33 9th: G Hessey 33 10th: G Hawker 33 Nearest Pins: #13: P Bee #17: L Giles, E Hawker Men’s Longest Drive: S Johnstone Ladies Longest Drive: D Macdonald Ladies Longest Putt: D Gibbs Longest Putt: S Johnstone Two’s: D Mclaren, L Giles, G Hawker
ACCOUNTANTS ARE you wasting your valuable time trying to keep up with your accounts? Call us now for hassle-free accounting, tax and business advice - all right on your doorstep. Sterling Accountants @ Malvern Business Hub, Ann-Maree 021 215 0981. AUTOMOTIVE DARFIELD Automotive, service & warrant centre. 3D wheel aligner. 7:30am - 5:30pm, Monday - Friday. Your onestop auto shop! Please phone 03 318 8113. CHIMNEY CLEANING
At 10:30am
Steve & Patience Pona Ph: 022 642 5805 17 North Terrace, Darfield FIREWOOD & COAL
DRIVEWAYS
LIFESTYLE, farm tracks, CARRS Chimney Cleaning. yards and dairy lanes R K FIREWOOD Servicing the Selwyn district. our speciality. Screened Supplying wood $70 per chimney. Phone for this Winter! rotten-rock, it’s local and Old Man Pine, Bluegum, Rodney on 03 324 2999 and lasts better. Contact the Macrocarpa, Oregon. leave a message. Springfield Quarry today! TRY THE HOT MIX! CHIM Chim. We'll sweep your Phone 318 4132. EŌpos available. log-burners flue, check the All top quality, clean wood. GARDENING firebricks, baffles, air-tubes Ph Rini 027 451 7300 and controls. We're experts GARDENING, handyman. All jobs on coal-ranges, also sweeping FOR SALE considered. Please phone any sized open fire. We quote and undertake repairs, flue LUCERNE hay - top quality 021 207 0532. extensions and install bird conventional bales. Please GENERAL garden maintenance in Darfield area. Domestic netting. Phone 021 939 113. phone 03 318 1742. Members NZHHA. LUCERNE hay. Conventional hedge trimming, pruning & bales. Good quality. Shed edging. Please phone Kane CLEANING stored. Kirwee area. $10 per 027 467 6613. • Carpet bale. Phone 318 1964. HEDGE TRIMMING Cleaning RAMS x 2. Suffolk cross hogget • Window and the other 4 tooth. $150 Cleaning • Regular each. Phone 318 7374 or txt 0800 90 1226 Commercial 027 860 8618. Cleaning www.3plestar.nz Hedge WOOD shavings - untreated, Trimming in clean shavings suitable for Professional and friendly Canterbury horse stables, calving sheds, local Selwyn business chicken houses and rabbit available to Call Don hutches. Available in CLEAN YOUR CARPETS 70L bags, 1m 3 bales Please call for a quote today on (compressed) and bulk and/or to make 021 066 3011 delivery. Phone 03 344 a booking on or 1676 for more details. 027 202 8990. 03 318 2983
MALVERN NEWS ADVERTISING DEADLINE 10am - Tuesday
• Half size tractor for easier access
• Up to 6m height topped at 5m or less
• Branch size up to 50mm • Cutter drops material to side of hedge.
Friday 29h July 2022
Page 14 HEDGE TRIMMING
HEDGE TRIMMING
HEDGE TRIMMING
SITUATION VACANT
SITUATION VACANT
POSITION AVAILABLE
Hedges great & small Specialising in under pivot/gorse & all general trimming
ANDY WAGHORN 027 686 8004 rghtrimming@gmail.com www.rghtrimming.co.nz RGH Trimming
Tree Topping Stump Grinding Hedge/Shelter Belt Cutting Gorse Hedge & Under Pivot Cutting
TAKING BOOKINGS NOW
LOCKSMITH LOCKSMITH Selwyn based 24hr mobile service, keys cut and general lock and safe maintenance. EFTPOS available. Call Locktight Security 021 171 8060. ROOF MAINTENANCE
PAINTING & DECORATING
PAINTING & DECORATING
General Painting & Property Repairs Gib Stopping Wallpapering
OVER 40 years experience! Contact Dave on 021 142 0567 or email: pearsondavid106@gmail.com PAINTING & DECORATING
UDI Painting & Decorating. For all painting & decorating services! Fully qualified. Interior & exterior painting & plastering. Wallpapering & roof painting. Quality Services. Free quotes. Contact Udi Aale 021 074 2075.
SITUATION VACANT
ROOF & house maintenance. All aspects covered including spouting, mortar, tiles, re-roofing, roof painting, moss, mould & silicone sealing. General repairs. Please phone 03 347 6702 ROOF & property services. 2 storey work! Roof leak repairs (incl Butynol), moss control, silicone seal, spouting clean & repairs, spider & fly control, bird proofing, roof painting. All roof & spouting types. Call Arthur’s, 7 days, 03 347 2635, 027 484 7980 or 027 584 7980.
Micky Conway
Painter & Decorator Darfield Based Will cover all areas Contact Micky on
021 125 1613
conwaydecor@hotmail.com
FULLY INSURED
Prefer email on
paul@fernfactor.co.nz or phone 03 344 0297
STOREMAN REQUIRED A Storeman’s position has become available with Johnston Imports, located in the Kirwee area.
20 to 30 hours per week. Healthy remuneration. Some lifting involved, practical skills are essential. Please email for further details matt@ji.net.nz
Gardener
SITUATION VACANT
DARFIELD TYRE CENTRE LTD
TYRE TECHNICIAN
We currently have a vacancy in Darfield for a Tyre Technician, graduating to wheel alignments and fleet service work. We cater for all types of tyre work: cars, trucks, farm equipment & earthmover tyres.
‘For all your decorating needs’
We are seeking a person for Nursery duties at our Plant Nursery on Newtons Road in West Melton. For more information, please contact Paul...
The applicant will need: • A valid, clean driver’s licence, class 2 would be an advantage • Tyre industry experience would be an advantage, however full training will be given • Ability to work alone & in a team environment • A positive & reliable person, who can communicate well with customers & staff.
Coleridge Habitat Enhancement Trust Co-ordinator Do you have a passion for conservation and the natural habitat? A Co-ordinator is needed for approximately 32 hours per month on a flexible, work from home basis, to manage and coordinate environmental projects in the Lake Coleridge catchment area. Strong administration and relationship-building skills are needed. The Trust undertakes projects in collaboration with statutory agencies and landowners to maintain and enhance the habitat. Applicants must have an interest in indigenous biodiversity and ecology and in working both in the field and with the community to support conservation outcomes.
Darfield Tyre Centre is committed to ensuring a safe & healthy work environment.
The Co-ordinator will report to the Trust meetings, held bi-monthly in Darfield.
Apply in person or submit your cover letter & CV to
Please contact the Trust secretary, Judith Pascoe for a full position description and for more information about the Trust. E: jcpascoe@xtra.co.nz | Ph: 03 318 8260
APPLICATIONS CLOSE FRIDAY 19TH AUGUST 2022.
The closing date for applications is 12 August 2022. Website: www.lakecoleridge.co.nz
tyres@xtra.co.nz
Friday 29th July 2022 SITUATION VACANT
Page 15 SITUATION VACANT
WINDOW CLEANING
COUNTRY TOUCH
WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES
DO YOU ENJOY INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE? DO YOU ENJOY BEING PART OF YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY IN DARFIELD?
Friendly & experienced professional service. Phone or text Darryl on 027 316 9968
DO YOU WANT TO BE PART OF A SUCCESSFUL NATIONWIDE BRAND? PGGW Real Estate are looking for an enthusiastic salesperson to join their team in our new office in Darfield. Please contact Sam Davidson 027 488 8269 or Linda Fogarty 027 294 4818
TRADES
INTERIOR PLASTERING Skim Coating Repairs/Renos Earthquake Repair Work
Ph Cory 022 540 4975
WINDOW TINTING
Please note this is a commission based position and you will need to complete your level 4 salesperson certificate.
PGG Wrightson Real Estate Limited
www.pggwre.co.nz
TRADES
TINT-A-WINDOW Solar Protective films. Fade UV block. Heat Glare control. Privacy. Safety/Security. Frosted films. Free online quotes. Please phone 0800 368 468. info@tintawindow.co.nz
Licenced under the REAA 2008
www.tintawindow.co.nz SITUATION VACANT PIG Stockperson - we are looking for full-time staff for our fam in Bankside, near Dunsandel and parttime staff for our farm in Burnham. No experience required. Phone Ronnie 027 565 0105.
WINDOW REPAIRS Retrofit Double glazing Frameless showers Repairs Mirrors Splashbacks Pet doors and more
Locally owned and operated
SCRAP METAL WANTED! Best prices! Amalgamated Scrap Ltd. Buying cars & farm machinery. Specialising in farm clean-ups. Rod McQuoid buyer. Please phone either 027 695 0480 or alternatively 0800 030 712.
WINDOW REPAIRS
03 318 3003
www.hunterglass.co.nz
TRADES
House & Roof Pre-Paint Wash Hydro Drain Cleaning
SHEEP SHEARING
Cleans most surfaces: fences, paths, brick, block, wood, concrete & machinery.
MOBILE SHEEP
TRADES
Moss Treating:
roofs, footpaths & driveways.
Free Quotes. Ph Mike Richards 03 318 8380 or 021 179 0584
SHEARING • Drenching • Foot Trimming • Crutching • General Animal Welfare Advice.
All major brands
Call Shaun Adams for a quote on
021 204 1274 WANTED TOOLS wanted - mechanics, engineering, wood working etc. Garage, shed, barn clearances, deceased estates etc. Please phone Rob on 03 342 5885. DEAD Cars - we buy dead cars, end of life cars, scrap cars, old farm vehicles. Cash paid. Please phone 027 484 8121.
Heat pump supply, installation, servicing & maintenance Contact Nigel now for your no obligation free quote
P: 021 387 750 E: nigel@malvernair.co.nz
We offer: •
• • • • •
installation of Power, Phone, Water & Fibre temp power for new builds connection to Orion network underground cable locating underground cable repairs power cable sales powercable.direct@xtra.co.nz www.powercabledirect.co.nz
Friday 29h July 2022
Page 16
Daily On Site Sales & Servicing
Authorised Service Agent for Most Brands since 1996! • Ovens Machines • Cooktops • Dryers • Washing Machine • Dishwashers Hire from $8 p.w.
Darfield based with over 38 years of local knowledge and experience
• Washing
Reg. Service Technician
Septic Tank Cleaning Jetting Unit for blocked drains Camera Investigations | Port-a-loo hire Office 318 8609 | 0274 338 693 | admin@leechdrainage.co.nz TRADES JAMES Hunt Residential Ltd. Renovation Specialists. Registered Master Builder. Please phone 027 466 0092. www.jameshuntresidential.co.nz NEW kitchens, wardrobes, laundries or what ever you need! Remodelled or just new doors. Good advice, good price. Ring Lex 03 349 0150 or 027 439 3926. UPHOLSTERER - Recover lounge suites, dining chairs, squabs etc. Free quotes. Based in Weedons. Please phone 03 980 4979.
david wilkinson registered electrician phone 03 318 1231 fax email
03 318 1235 sales@electricalcontractors.co.nz
PO Box 26 kirwee
we’ll be there when you need us. guaranteed.
on time guaranteed or your first hour is free! conditions apply.
■ New Builds ■ Extensions ■ Renovations ■ Kitchen & Bathrooms
Qualified Certifying Plumber & Gasfitter
• 25 years experience Phone David Barnhill • Local qualified builder 027 618 2345 • All types of work undertaken including or a/h 317 9144 additions, alterations, new houses,
All aspects of concreting & all types of finishing DECORATIVE STAMPED COLOURED EXPOSED Dale Mayberry Ph: 021 222 2833
NEXT ISSUE: Friday 5th August 2022 ADVERTISING DEADLINE: 10am, Tuesday 2nd August
Maintenance Renovations & new builds Pump servicing and installation Water filter installation Water pump hire Supply and installation of septic tank systems • Gas and wood fire installation • IQP in backflow prevention • Teatsprayer servicing • • • • • •
0800 752 400
plainspgd@gmail.com
DARFIELD BASED
• Certifying Gasfitters • Certifying Plumbers • Heat Pumps • Log Burners • Solar • Electrical Service Technician New Builds • System Design • Vehicles
Visit: www.selwyngasfitters.co.nz for a full list of services
Phone 03 420 1020 • 021 732 331
I got all senƟmental when I saw my husband looking at our marriage cerƟficate for half an hour. Then I found out he’s been looking for an expiry date. My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray aŌer our food. It’s our anniversary, dear. How do you suggest we celebrate it? With a minute of silence! Honey, do you think I gained weight? - No, I think the living room got smaller.