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VOL. 12 NO. 14

11 TEVES 5772

‫פרשת ויחי‬

Just Another Friday In Jerusalem

INSIDE 34

The Usual Turmoil

Drawing New Lines Shmuel Katz

35

Having returned from Israel just a day before press time, I am awash with impressions that I am anxious to share. I share them with you, the reader, and I hope you find the observations as interesting as I did while experiencing them. For many years I’ve been fond of saying that Israel is the

Your Marriage Toby Klein Greenwald

48

Influencing The Departed Dr. Bernie Kastner 55 The Lesson Of Joseph David J. Seidemann, Esq.

FROM THE EDITOR BY LARRY GORDON

Time For A Catch Hannah Reich Berman

JANUARY 6, 2012

58 Outside the prime minister’s residence in Jerusalem, two groups staged protests supporting their political positions. At left are the Women In Black. At right, several yeshiva students express support for the IDF.

Magen LI Safety: Empowering Our Children BY ROCHELLE MARUCH MILLER Mesivta Ateres Yaakov dinner honorees. See Page 68

It takes a village to raise a child—but it takes a community to keep our precious children safe. For Sarah Bergman, her determination and desire to protect our children led to the founding of Magen  LI, a lifesaving safety initiative. Twenty-five years ago, when

her children were beginning elementary school, Sarah had spearheaded a safety program implemented in our local yeshivos and schools. Together with several other concerned mothers, she visited the schools. “Every principal was eager to participate in a program to help ensure their Continued on Page 25

TORAH VODAATH SHABBOS IN THE 5 TOWNS

Ganger Early Childhood Center at TAG. See Page 63

CANDLE LIGHTING January 6 – 4:24 PM January 13 – 4:31 PM See Luach, Page 15

HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE BY LARRY GORDON

Still Sending Packages “Who packed your luggage for you?” The true and accurate response is that we packed it ourselves. She still looks us in the eyes to detect whether there is any uncertainty or deception on our part and then asks, “Has the luggage been with you since then and under your constant supervision, or was anyone watching

it for you?” The answer is that the valises have been with us throughout, and that is what we report. Then the big and important question is posed by the El Al security agent—“Did anyone give you anything to take along?” “You know,” she probes

THE REAL YERUSHALAYIM

THE HONOR OF WOMEN

BY RAV ARYEH Z. GINZBERG

BY RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN

Continued on Page 16

CHOFETZ CHAIM TORAH CENTER

At the Yeshiva Torah Vodaath melaveh malkah in Lawrence hosted by Mr. and Mrs. Berish Fuchs this past Saturday night (L–R): Rabbi Yoel Ehrenreich, Mr. Chaim Leshkowitz, Rabbi Yosef Savitsky, Mr. Fuchs, Mr. Shiya Hollander, and Rabbi Baruch Diamond.

Akiva Ackerman, table-tennis champion. See Page 65

Continued on Page 9

Most are familiar with the concept first introduced by the Zohar describing the existence of two Yerushalayims. The Zohar refers to it as “Yerushalayim di’alah” (above) and “Yerushalayim di’tosa” (below). They

An open letter to former MK Yossi Sarid The horror that the overwhelming majority of chareidi Jews are feeling at the actions of the extremists is certainly deep. The sickening demonstration of Jews in Holocaust garb is just

Continued on Page 19

Continued on Page 12


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P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 516-984-0079 editor@5TJT.com ads@5TJT.com LARRY GORDON Publisher/Editor

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FEATURES The Afterlife Dr. Bernie Kastner Aliyah Chronicle Shmuel Katz

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A Clever Title Goes Here Mordechai Schmutter

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Community News Around The Five Towns Around The World

63 75

Daf Yomi Insights R’ Avrohom Sebrow

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The Dish Elke Probkevitz

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Insights on the Torah R’ Dovid Weinberger

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Letters to the Editor

86

Luach/Calendar

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Middle East News Samuel Sokol

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MindBiz Esther Mann, LCSW

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Mother’s Musings Phyllis J. Lubin

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News from the Hills Chanita Teitz

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Other Side of the Bench David J. Seidemann, Esq.

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Puzzle Yoni Glatt

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Real Estate Anessa V. Cohen

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That’s The Way It Is! Hannah Reich Berman

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Tidbits from Israel Ron Jager

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FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Front Cover most forward-looking backward country in the world. As I have recorded here more than just a few times, I cannot recall a time when an otherwise simple, random visit to Israel did not deliver us smack dab into the middle of a major crisis, or two or three. Perhaps it is just to grab the limited attention span of world Jewry that everything that happens in Israel has to be couched in the context of a crisis. Last week and part of this week, at the center of attention were the fringe lunatics who purport to represent the chareidim in Israel and who have once again tarnished the image of the Jewish State from within. While doing so, these confused and conflicted leaders—as you have no doubt read and also been revolted by—dressed their innocent children in concentration-camp uniforms that featured, for additional poor taste, a yellow star with the word “Jude” emblazoned on the children’s chest. The message they are trying to communicate is that the authorities in Israel are persecuting them as the Nazis persecuted, and indeed tortured and murdered, Jews in the Holocaust. The only positive thing I can say is that if they had any education they would perhaps be aware of how hurtful and offensive such an act was to so many. But they have no education and therefore are wholly ignorant. The rank-and-file members of this community have always been followers who do not ask questions. It is in fact anathema for them to challenge instructions that emanate from what is a rather poor and misguided excuse for leadership. The followers are ignorant and the leaders prefer it that way. It is sad that resorting to such distasteful sensationalism has garnered so much media attention. It is the classic man-bitesdog story. This time it is Jew bites Jew, though, and the world press loves it. Even newspapers in Iran picked up and featured the pictures of a young chassidic-looking boy in prison garb with his hands held high. The Iranians no doubt enjoyed making the point that there are even Jews who are against the existence of today’s Israel. There is no greater chillul Hashem, and if they had any sense, these people would be ashamed of themselves. The good news is that thankfully not everything is embroiled in controversy. If there was a theme to these ten days we spent in Israel, it was by and large a tribute to the young men and women of the IDF who selflessly give of themselves to defend this small but very great country. We were fortunate to finally have the opportunity to spend Friday night with Pamela (pronounced Pah-melah) and Abba Claman in the Old City of Jerusalem. Being in their home is an experience that stretches the limits of the imagination. Their dedication to the young people of the IDF and the hakaras ha’tov that they continuously materially express to them is simply out of this world. The experience deserves and will receive a column of its own in the next few weeks.

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FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Page 9 For now it will have to suffice to say that Friday evening began in their home where the women lit candles downstairs inside, while the men stayed up on the roof enjoying one of the most sterling and majestic views of the Har HaBayit, the Temple Mount, that I’ve ever had the privilege to behold. As far as I can tell, Pamela and Abba are unusually gracious people with an open home that, as you sit there, grows more inspiring by the minute. As we walked down the street to the Kotel for Kabbalas Shabbos, Abba pointed out a new building that they were developing and renovating as a drop-in center for the young people in the IDF who defend the country. Many thoughts cross one’s mind while sitting and dining on a sumptuous Friday-night feast in the Claman

I cannot recall a time when an otherwise simple, random visit to Israel did not deliver us smack dab into the middle of a major crisis, or two or three. home. There are guests there from a variety of backgrounds from around the world. There are about a dozen young soldiers who are there primarily because, while they are among the finest young people that Israel can produce, their experience with observance, Shabbos, and Jerusalem is limited. The Clamans make it something very memorable and special. After davening on Shabbos morning, we met our old/new friend, Rabbi Moshe Levi, otherwise known as the former rapper “Shyne.” For those who follow these chronicles, you know the story about his fascinating past and how today he is a Belzer chassid in full regalia—shtreimel, long coat, and all. More than anything, Moshe is a sensitive and caring individual who hosts regular Shabbos luncheons for what are known as “lone soldiers.” These mostly young men come to Israel frequently as teenagers with one purpose in mind—

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January 6, 2012

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YOSSI SARID Continued from Front Cover another illustration of how out of touch these Meah Shearim extremists are with true Torah sensibilities. The Bet Shemesh extremists, whose horrifying attitudes and behaviors lie in stark contrast to all that the Torah way of life holds dear, have also caused much hurt. The chareidi world realizes that their actions should have been stopped long ago. Our silence is partially the cause of how their actions have gone so out of control, and there is no question that their actions are quite distressing. But there are other repercussions too. One particularly sad repercussion is

the tragically noxious and toxic fumes of your pen, Mr. Sarid. In your December 30 op-ed in Haaretz, you write, “What is happening in Beit Shemesh and its satellites . . . is mandated by

completely untrue. Spitting upon people and throwing rocks is never mandated by halachah. My dear Yossi Sarid, with these unbecoming lies and fabrications, how are you any differ-

or the transcripts of the Beilis trial—specifically, the false testimony of Father Justinas Pranaitas, author of “The Talmud Unmasked”; or the false testimonies of the Jewish apostate Pfef-

Spitting upon young girls and throwing rocks is mandated by halachah? This is completely untrue. halakha.” Mandated by halachah? Spitting upon young girls and throwing rocks is mandated by halachah? This is just wrong and

ent from the greatest of the antiSemitic writers and orators that history has had to offer? Your article reads straight out of Martin Luther’s anti-Semitic rants;

ferkorn when facing the gentile scholar Johannes Reuchlin. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, I assume you have unknowingly falsified quotations

and not purposefully taken them out of context. The Talmud (Niddah 45b) tells us that women possess bina yeseira, more so than a man. Bina yeseira means greater understanding. “Bina” is a word that lies beyond the word “chochmah.” Far beyond. Yet according to Yossi Sarid, the Talmud states the opposite: “The mind of woman is not suited to be taught, but only to words of nonsense.” Or “Torah should be burned rather than given to a woman.” But if one looks at the passage (Yuma 66b) and reads it carefully, it was a oneline response of an individual. This phrase cannot mean what you have it mean. The Talmud itself, two lines earlier, describes the woman who posed the question as a wise woman! And, according to all counts, it was a highly intelligent question that she posed: Why did each of the violators of the sin of the Golden Calf have different punishments? What then is the meaning and context? The Talmud is pointing out that he did not have an answer and thus responded in this fashion. Thus, instead of reflecting the Talmud’s alleged negativity about women, this passage conveys the exact opposite meaning! Yossi, you have misconstrued and misinterpreted, hopefully not for some bizarre Machiavellian end. The sages of the Talmud accorded the highest respect and honor to women. You must know this to be true. Let’s start with Kesubos 2b. A maiden marries on a Wednesday. Why? So that her husband will toil steadily in the wedding preparations for three entire days. At the very onset of a wedding the sages were concerned for the honor of womanhood. So that men would not look at them cheaply and objectify them. Compare that to your precious secular societal ideals—where Israel, unfortunately, is only a Tier 2 country in complying with the UN’s attempts to eradicate sexual trafficking. Had you and other members of the Knesset imbibed the Talmud’s high ideals of respect for womanhood, we might have been a Tier 1 country. Your tone and comments, I am sad to say, seem to have you relish in objectifying women. The sages (Nedarim 20a) advise against excessive flirtation with women because it can lead to inappropriate behavior. Yet you take the sages to task for expressing this thought! The sages tell us (Berachos 24a) not to even objectify a women’s pinky. Yet you denounce this passage, as well, as hateful of women. No, sir. The Talmud is scornful of the objectification of women, but not of women themselves, heav-

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FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Page 11 to serve in the IDF and defend the Jewish homeland. Sure, some of these young people may have hit a proverbial brick wall back in their home countries and were looking for some positive and productive way to express themselves. We are blessed to have such extraordinary young men in our ranks. Of those that I met this past Shabbos, one was a 22-year-old former U.S. Navy Seal who had been stationed in California. “I felt emptiness inside and didn’t know what it was,” said Gabriel. He said that his commanding officer didn’t know that he was Jewish and asked him to assist him in spreading Christianity in the unit as a way of inspiring the members of the unit. “It’s odd, but that is when it first began to dawn on me that I was a Jew and that there was a Jewish country that needed me,” he said. Then there was Daniel, a 19-year-old baby-faced soldier from Manchester, England. He says he was asked to leave high school and became a professional rugby player back home before deciding to come to Israel and enlisting in the IDF. He is in training now and gets weekends off. He lives in a youth hostel and subsists on IDF pay of about $175 a month. “My commanding officer visited my apartment recently and saw that I had no food in my home, so he arranged for an addition stipend for me,” Daniel said. Further down the table is 23-yearold Baruch, a young man from Brooklyn who went to yeshiva in the Five Towns. In fact he was in yeshiva with one of my children a few years ago. He is just a week away from finishing up a two-year stint in the IDF, where he serves in the special forces. He said he was planning on heading home in about a month to be with his family. He came to Israel, he said, three years ago when everything back home seemed to be lost. “I was involved in the wrong crowd and doing a lot of bad things,” he says. The IDF changed his life and put him on the right course. He hopes to contact me when he gets home and wants to be directed to a group where he can work with young people who have experienced difficulties. He wants to use his experience to help and steer them in a good, positive, and healthy direction. I don’t know how these young people fit into the same story as those in Bet Shemesh and Jerusalem who live in a different world. I suppose if they desire or think it is good and right to live apart, then it’s OK as long as it doesn’t hurt others. Perhaps it is just part of the contrasts and usual turmoil of life in Israel. It occurs to me that those who spit at 8-year-old girls as they walk to yeshiva in Bet Shemesh also have very little if any regard for the young members of the IDF. I’d like to suggest that it is just part of their wrongheadedness and encyclopedic ignorance. I would like to additionally suggest that their disdain for these troops is just one more reason—if you need one—to hold the soldiers in the highest regard.  Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

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CALENDAR

LUACH January 5–January914 July 1–July ZIP Code: 11516 10 Teves – Ta’anis Thursday, January 5 Asarah B’Teves Z’manim*: Dawn:

5:51 am

Midday:

12:00 pm

Earliest Minchah:

12:31 pm

Fast ends:

5:19 pm / 5:27 pm

11 Teves Friday, January 6 Daf yomi: Bechoros 53 Earliest tallis/tefillin:

6:20 am

Sunrise:

7:19 am

Latest Shema: M. Av.

9:03 am

Gr’a

9:39 am

P’lag ha’minchah:

3:43 pm

Candle Lighting:

4:24 pm

12 Teves – Shabbos Saturday, January 7 Shabbos Parashas Vayechi (Chazak) Shabbos ends**: 5:29 pm 72 min.

5:56 pm

18 Teves Friday, January 13 Daf yomi: Bechoros 60 Earliest tallis/tefillin:

6:20 am

Sunrise:

7:18 am

Latest Shema: M. Av.

9:04 am

Gr’a

9:40 am

P’lag ha’minchah:

3:50 pm

Candle Lighting:

4:31 pm

19 Teves – Shabbos Saturday, January 14 Shabbos Parashas Sh’mos Shabbos ends**: 5:36 pm 72 min.

6:03 pm

* All times from MyZmanim.com ** includes 5 minutes for tosefes Shabbos

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BAGEL STORE Continued from Front Cover further, “a gift or something to deliver to someone or anything like that.” This is a difficult question, and we have long been able to offer the simple and uncomplicated response—“no.” But then something happened last week, and for some unexplained reason, that changed. Just like in the good old days, we ended up transporting stuff to Israel for people. In some instances they were things that people needed to get here and we were the easiest, most convenient, and economical way to accomplish that. In other instances, the things we were asked to take along were, as far as I could see, totally inane and useless. Over the first few days of our stay in Israel, the phone calls we received were largely from people who wanted to pick up their things. But because of our schedule, as well as theirs, we were having trouble hooking up with one another. What is it that people are sending by courier to Israel that—for a few shekels—cannot also easily be found in Israel? Looking back over this recent experience, I’d say that if you want to help out people living in Israel, whether family or friends, do them a favor (and do me a favor too) and just send them money. With money they can buy all the silly little things you are going to try to squeeze into a little box so that you are not imposing too much. I do not want to embarrass anyone by announcing what the things were that I took along to Israel when we left two weeks ago. Don’t misunderstand my intent here; I was happy to do it. I’m just trying to understand it. It seems to me that in most instances these things are being sent by parents or siblings back in New York who want to demonstrate to their relatives that they are being thought of in a personal way. These days, there are many simple ways to achieve that objective through various express mail services. This avoids the need to impose on anyone, especially these days when airlines are looking to assess additional charges to almost all passengers based on the size and weight of their luggage. So I ended up with three different sets of things that were no big deal to take over to Israel. But the attempt to make the transition to the intended parties began to border on comedic as we tried again and again to achieve the “transfers”

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BAGEL STORE Continued from Page 16 of the packages. It is important to note that I told each sender that I would be looking through the contents of these bags so that, when asked, I could report accurately to the security people what it was that I was transporting. Backing up for a moment here, I have to say that when someone calls me and says that they understand I am going to Israel and asks if I mind taking over a few things, I find it difficult or perhaps impossible to just say no. Notice that those who call do not directly ask you to take anything; they ask if you would mind taking a package over. When you even hesitatingly say that you would not mind, they are usually at your door

Y e s h i va

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in ten minutes with the things. Well, I’m writing these words after being in Israel for over a week, and yes, I still have one of those things that was rushed over to my house the day before I left sitting here on a couch in a corner of a room. Actually, when we were in Tel Aviv last week we were supposed to rendezvous with the party in question at one of the highway exits, since he lives in Raanana or one of those nearby towns. Inside the plastic grocery bag is an outfit for a baby and an envelope that contains $100. I’m shlepping around with this bag in my car for days making sure it is there, seeing to it that it is safe, and certainly being sure that it is with me at all

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Continued on Page 23


YERUSHALAYIM Continued from Front Cover are better known as Yerushalayim shel Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alah and Yerushalayim shel Matah. The simple explanation (if there is such a thing) is that thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a spiritual city of Yerushalayim in Shamayim, that is directly above and corresponds to the Yerushalayim on earth that once had and will soon again have the Beis HaMikdash on its hallowed ground. A recent brief encounter during a weeklong visit to Yerushalayim shel Matah left me wondering if, to some, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a third Yerushalayim as well. Permit me to explain. At the airport, upon my arrival to Eretz Yisrael, I met a friend and neighbor who had just arrived as well and was looking forward to spending a week in the holy city after an absence of a few years. He was upbeat and excited, as every Jew should be, and he had a list of things to do and places to see in what would be a whirlwind, weeklong visit to Yerushalayim. I wished him well and told him Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d run into each other during his stay. We actually did meet again at the airport as we boarded our respective ďŹ&#x201A;ights back to New York. In the few moments we had, he showed me his list of things to do and places to see that he had made up before his trip and how proud he was to have checked off everything on the list. He was exhausted, but exhilarated as well, from his week in Yerushalayim. As I took my assigned seat, I began to reďŹ&#x201A;ect upon the week my wife and I

had just spent in our holy city and the experiences we had, and compared it to the list of places on my friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s list and began to wonder, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Are there really two Yerushalayims or three?â&#x20AC;? My friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s list included the restaurants and cafĂŠs that he just had to go to, the expansive malls that he had to shop in, and the museums that he just had to visit. And while I must admit people do have different interests, and not one of those things interests me in the slightest, I somehow still found it troubling. While all those things are a wonderful addition to the experience, I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but notice that not one item on his list was a site that connects the Yerushalayim shel Matah with the Yerushalayim shel Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alah. First and foremost is the opportunity to meet, greet, or even just gaze upon an individual who at the age of 28 was already referred to by earlier gedolim as one of the poskei haâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;dor, and now heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s over 103 years old. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m referring to the gadol haâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;dor, Rav Sholom Yosef Elyashiv, shlita. To visit the holy city of Yerushalayim and not take the opportunity to bask in his greatness, even at a distance, is akin to visiting Arizona and not going to the Grand Canyon. Once, a visitor from America came to Vilna to meet with the gadol haâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;dor, Rav Chaim Ozer, ztâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l. Rav Chaim, who was tied up with communal matters at that time, told his guest to take a few hours to tour the famous city of Vilna and then to return to him. Upon his return, Reb Chaim Ozer asked him if he had seen the important sites in Vilna and the guest responded that he had

taken a map of the city and visited all the important places. Reb Chaim Ozer asked him, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Did you visit this particular small shul and go up to the ezras nashim and see a young man called the Chazon Ish learning?â&#x20AC;? When the guest replied that he had not, Reb Chaim Ozer said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;In that case you really didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see Vilna at all.â&#x20AC;? I truly have no idea if the restaurants in Yerushalayim are better than the ones on Central Avenue; whether the malls are nicer and better than the Roosevelt Field Mall. But I do know that not having the opportunity to meet or even see the zakein haâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;dor means you really didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see Yerushalayim at all. For decades, Rav Elyashiv, shlita, has given a nightly blatt shiur that is always a pleasure and privilege to listen to. Unfortunately, for the ďŹ rst time in more than 60 years, the shiur is not taking place, due to his weakened condition. Each year, my wife would accompany me to the shiur. While there is no ezras nashim available, she would stand outside the window and just gaze upon his radiance and joy of giving over Torah to others and she always felt uplifted by the experience. This year she expressed disappointment at not having that opportunity, even though we did merit visiting with him and receiving his berachos for ourselves and for others that we brought to his attention. During this visit, we stayed in an apartment in Shaarei Chesed around the corner from the famous Gra shul. On our ďŹ rst night there, soon after arriving, I went with my son-in-law to daven Maariv. Afterwards, we stood outside

and I shared with him my fond memories of davening there more than 35 years ago, where in the front row sat Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, ztâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l, Rav Sholom Shwadron, ztâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l, and Rav Avrohom Rosenthal, ztâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l (the longtime rav of Shaarei Chessed). And then I added that even though these gedolim are no longer with us, the Gaon Rav Shmuel Auerbach, shlita, still lives here and we would try to meet him the next day. My son in-law pointed to someone walking towards us and asked, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that Rav Shmuel?â&#x20AC;? My son in-law had never met Rav Shmuel before, but he recognized him from pictures and was correct. To walk in the streets at night and just (literally) bump into one of the gedolei haâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;dor walking by himself bundled up against the cold night air of Yerushalayim can only be done in the Yerushalayim shel Matah that is connected to the Yerushalayim shel Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alah. While I am not qualiďŹ ed to speak about the restaurants in our community, nor about the shopping malls in the area, there is one thing that I can say: in all my walks on Central Avenue, I never had a similar experience. After all, while we are blessed to live in a wonderful community that is the envy of many others (and rightfully so), it is still not Yerushalayim shel Matah. I asked my friend if he made it to the Kotel for neitz during his weeklong stay, and he responded that he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go there because the nonstop harassment from all the collectors bothers

Continued on Page 24

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YOSSI SARID Continued from Page 12 en forbid. With your criticism of this passage, on the other hand, you have opened the floodgates of pornography and its detrimental societal repercussions. The Gemara in Yevamos 62b discusses our obligation in treating women—that we should extend to them more honor than our own bodies and selves. And we should treat them with the same affection and care that we have for ourselves. You make no mention of this, of course, because it entirely undermines the veracity of your thesis. Let’s move forward a page. Even you must admit that in the eyes of the sages there is nothing greater than Torah. Yet, the Talmud points out in Yevamos 63b: To what is this great Torah compared? To women. Of all the remarkable and precious items in the world, the Talmud points out that the Torah only saw fit to compare it to one thing—womanhood. The Talmud places womanhood in the highest esteem, Mr. Sarid. Let’s switch to a different order of the Talmud, Nezikin, that of torts. In Bava Metzia 59a it tells us that it is the women who are the source of blessing in a home and advises men to consult with their wives for advice. In Bava Basra 22a we learn about how merchants in a city may prevent traveling merchants from selling their wares in their city so as not to affect their income. Ezra, however, enacted that those merchants who sold jewelry are exempt from these regulations. They may sell their jewelry regardless of the econom-

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ic damage to the local merchants. Why is this so? So that Jewish women may have access to jewelry. Ezra enacted that the needs of Jewish women are far more important than protecting business interests. By contrast, notwithstanding all the pro-women legislation in secular Israel, women in the managerial force are still 25 percent behind the rest of the world, according to a YNet report (August 3, 2010). Secular society in Israel, it seems, places business interests above the general welfare of women. Furthermore, from the halachic perspective, seclusion with women is forbidden in order to protect women. Precisely because of the Torah’s respect for the bodily rights of women did the Torah and Chazal promulgate these laws. The laws of niddah, family purity, accomplish the same goals, too, according to most authorities. Clearly, something is wrong here, Mr. Sarid. You have ignored all the beautiful sayings and lessons in the Talmud about womanhood and instead misconstrued and misrepresented other teachings. Is there perhaps some bias here? Some jaundiced eye that has caused you to employ something a bit more than “terminological inexactitudes”? Let us look at more of what you write, but contrast it with the original. This will demonstrate how you take things out of context. The Talmud in Shabbos 152a makes a sociological observation about the desirefilled yearnings of men. Women, from the perspective of one unattracted by desires of the flesh, explains the Talmud, “are a leather jug full of excretions and filled

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

with [menstrual] blood. Yet all run after her.” It is an observation concerning the strength of attraction. Yet you, Yossi Sarid, write: “We will direct your attention to Tractate Shabbat, which does a good job of summing up halakha’s attitude toward women: ‘a sack full of excrement’ with a bleeding hole.’” Halachah? This was a sociological observation from the perspective of someone with no attraction. Yet you misconstrue it to reflect the worst ideas possible. And you place this falsely under the rubric of halachah, knowing full well that most of your readership will be unable to ferret out your mistake. You single out the Talmud for the institution of male kings and not female kings—yet much of European history reflected the same notion. But what about Devorah, the prophetess found in the book of Shoftim? She both issued rulings and was treated like a queen. The Ramban (Tractate Shavuos 30a) explains that the exposition about a king and not a queen referred only to autocratic dictatorship, but one may voluntarily listen to them. Don’t forget that a monarchy is not the ideal in Judaism but a concession to the realities of the time. We could go through them all, but perhaps another Talmudic statement is more applicable. Perhaps you are familiar with a statement in the Talmud in Kiddushin 70b. Forgive me, but the passage states, “Kol haposel bemumo hu posel—Whosoever finds fault in others, finds fault in his own flaws.” Was it not just a few years ago when you embarrassed the Jewish world with what many read to be a misogynistic

statement, “Only in Israel, there are those who are excited and fascinated by president Bush and his ‘Condoleezza’ entourage.” Your statement (hopefully it wasn’t racist as well) embarrassed the Jewish community, both in America and in Israel. You never apologized, neither to the Jewish community nor to Condi. There is another repercussion, of course, that we should speak about. I refer to the repercussions of your pen, your falsifications, and out-of-context quotations from the Talmud. You have, perhaps inadvertently, set us back a lot. How so? All the accomplishments of reduced antiSemitism are flushed away in your vitriol. Vatican Council II, the 1994 Vatican recognition of Israel, the apology of the Lutheran Church for Martin Luther’s anti-Semitic rants, are all no longer necessary. Why not? Because a former Knesset member, Yossi Sarid, writes no differently than an entire cadre of world-class anti-Semites. Mr. Sarid, I think you have been deprived of something—something very precious and dear: your birthright. I invite you to really study the Talmud in the atmosphere of a yeshiva for two or three months. Join the Ohr Somayach program, where you will see the beauty of the Talmud and the remarkable relationships that kollel men have with their wives. Get yourself invited to the warmth of a Shabbos table, where you can see the honor and respect that the Torah demands. Then and only then will you see your real birthright—the birthright of Sinai.  Rabbi Hoffman can be reached at yairhoffman2@gmail.com.


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BAGEL STORE Continued from Page 18 times in case we suddenly decide to meet with one another. So we make up to meet near the exit of the highway at a mutually convenient spot just outside of Tel Aviv. We are parked on the side of the road waiting for our friend to show up. Cars are

One was a cell-phone charger and the other about three small cans of tuna fish. If there is anything in abundance in this country, it is cell-phone chargers and tuna fish. Almost every meal you order for breakfast or lunch in a restaurant will have some tuna representation on it. The hotel breakfasts are replete with tuna and their sister fishes galore. Why the need to send tuna fish

With money they can buy all the silly little things you are going to try to squeeze into a little box. whizzing by us as evening is beginning to fall and people are apparently anxious to get home. We look behind us and ahead, but there is no sign of our guy. He calls and asks where we are and we tell him we are right off the Ramle exit and then we in turn ask him where he is. He says that he too is on the side of the road near the Ramle exit. That’s nice, fine, and good except for the fact that we do not see each other. It took a minimal amount of additional probing to discover that we were on Highway 1 and he was on 431, parallel roads quite a distance from one another. The package, as I write these words, is still with me. Then there is the manila envelope that contained just two types of items.

to Israel? What is going on here? I don’t think that these little things that are sent to kids that are living here these days have anything to do with need. The phone charger, the $100 bill, and the cans of tuna are expressions of endearment, I believe, more than anything else. It’s a way of communicating to people that you are thinking about them and that you care about them. Why you can’t mail these things instead of tracking people down who are going to Israel is an issue for another day. For now let’s just take a moment and marvel at how expressive and meaningful a simple can of tuna fish can be.  Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at editor@5tjt.com.

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YERUSHALAYIM Continued from Page 19 him. While that is understandable, I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but think about all the yakirei Yerushalayim that one can meet and be inspired by each morning. One can daven with Rav Moshe Shapiro, shlita, or with Rav Addas, shlita, or at the minyan of elderly Yidden who started their minyan in 1967 and have not missed even one day (despite inclem-





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knows completely by heart). Or maybe go to Machane Yehuda and visit the candy store (third from the left) and ask Reb Yossele, the sweet and soft-spoken proprietor (who is said to be over 90), about the Tikkun Chatzos minyan of the senior mekubalim in Eretz Yisrael that meets at chatzos and continues learning Kabbalah until neitz. Maybe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll even get him to admit that he is the head of the group, which he has been part of for over 50 years.

I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but notice that not one item on his list was a site that connects the Yerushalayim shel Matah with the Yerushalayim shel Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alah. ent weather, multiple wars, etc.) since that time. One can stand outside the Mirrer Yeshiva at 1:30 p.m., when Minchah is ended and thousands upon thousands of bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;nei Torah of all ages and stripes exit their respective battei midrashim onto the street. The scene is nothing short of breathtaking. One can visit the Meah Shearim shuk and go to the old shoemaker, in a tiny hovel of a store, and either ask him what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like to be a seventh-generation Yerushalmi, or just ask him about a mishnah in Seder Taharos (which he

There is so much to see and be inspired from in a visit to Yerushalayim shel Matah. I want to advise my friend that on his next visit, he should enjoy the restaurants (and it is indeed a mitzvah to support businesses in Eretz Yisrael), shop at the malls, and walk through the museums; but next time, add an item or two to your list of things to do and places to seeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;one or two items from my list of suggestions. If you do, then not only will you have an inspiring trip, but you will be able to possibly even touch, ever so slightly, the Yerushalayim shel Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;alah. ď ś


MAGEN LI Continued from Front Cover students’ safety,” recalls the Lawrence resident. Always concerned about the welfare of children, Sarah remained actively involved in the program and was a major factor in its success. Now, a quarter century later, the need was great for a powerful initiative that would, with Hashem’s help, keep our children out of harm’s way. Following the Leiby Kletzky tragedy, our community was devastated and we held our little ones close. Bergman explains, “Many people started talking at that time about how to talk to our children about safety, or what to do if they’re lost. And I felt that it was very important to bring in some kind of program to go into schools and teach them.” This was the inception of Magen LI. The program is based on the Safety Kid model, a California-based initiative created by Debbie Fox, and is a coordinated effort between schools, parents, and children to establish a secure environment for a child’s physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Safety Kid is committed to raising awareness, teaching practical skills, providing information, and empowering children to protect themselves from becoming victims of abuse, abduction, or molestation. Studies show that when schools, parents, and children all work together, everyone benefits, especially the children. The training program provides tools that open healthy communication between adults and children on sensitive issues. It encourages dialogue regarding personal matters and establishes who the safe adults are for children to talk to. Children are empowered with skills to keep themselves safe and to assert themselves appropriately. The impact of this progressive initiative is literally lifesaving. “Magen LI is a vital program that was created as a positive response to a terrible tragedy,” explained Dr. Penina Zilberberg, a clinical child psychologist and member of Magen LI’s team of mental-health professionals. “The program’s name reflects our goal—to shield and protect our children. But in order to protect them, we have to empower and educate them; to create an environment where they feel safe. We want our children to feel that if anything happens, they should not feel shame. Rather, we have to create a system of communication where our children feel as safe and comfortable in finding their voices in discussing the ABCD’s of safety as they do in discussing wearing a safety helmet or seat belt.” Mrs. Bergman explains the ABCD’s of safety: Ask for help, when in dangerous situations or lost. They will acquire skills of what they need to know and do in cases of emergency and how to identify a trusted adult. Bring a friend. Students will be introduced to the concept of the “buddy system,” which teaches them that it is always safer to go with a friend. Check first. Offers children tools of

Continued on Page 27 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

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MAGEN LI Continued from Page 25 what to do when the telephone rings or a stranger knocks on their door at home. They will also learn about the need to inform a trusted adult when changing a plan, going with anyone elsewhere, or accepting gifts. Do tell. Introduces the concept of “body ownership,” OK vs. not OK touch, and the no-run-tell rule. It teaches a variety of strategies of how to respond when their personal space or privacy is about to be or has been violated. “Do tell” is the program’s key component. Dr. Zilberberg adds, “What is important about this three-prong program is that it educates teachers and administrators, parents and children. We begin by training the administrators and teachers in how to pick up signs of abuse. Transparency is one of the mandated regulations for schools. Whenever a rebbi or teacher is alone with a child, it should be in an easily accessible area or room with an unlocked door and an unobstructed window. In the event of a safety emergency, a school must be prepared to take the next step with a secured system in place.” Training is provided for all school employees, including administration, teachers, and support staff, and consists of two major components. The school training emphasizes protecting children and staff. They help establish a school conduct policy and behavioral standards—which documents a commitment to provide a safe school atmosphere with written policies of conduct and behavioral standards, and mandated reporting guidelines, which helps staff to recognize signs and behavioral symptoms of child abuse, identify who is a mandated reporter, and create a system for submitting a therapeutic report within the school setting given halachic and legal considerations. In each school, the administration and staff workshops are followed up with a mandatory parent workshop where the parents’ awareness regarding safety issues is increased. As well, they are given an idea of the curriculum their children will be presented with in order that the lines of communication may be opened when the materials are brought home. “The parents are given a list of talking points regarding discussing different situations and topics with their children, including safety at school, in camp, and at home with babysitters or other caregivers,” said Dr. Zilberberg. The parent training emphasizes communicating skills to our children. Parent education workshops include discussions of parental role and responsibilities regarding the ABCD’s of safety. Parents acquire tools to help their children apply the lessons for safe behavior that they have learned, encouraging open communication, and demonstrating about appropriate behavior and touch “rules of conduct.” Parents learn to facilitate prevention through education and communication by using active listening skills, identifying safe helpers and trusted

Continued on Page 29 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

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Do me a kindness and a truth (Bereishis 47:30)

A kindness done to the dead is a true kindness, for one does not expect a favor in return. (Rashi)

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MAGEN LI Continued from Page 27 adults, and helping children to know what to do in at-risk situations. “It gives the parents a glimpse of what their children are learning about in the program,” said Dr. Zilberberg. “We teach our children to be obedient and respectful, but how will they react in an uncomfortable situation? Magen LI has chosen to bring the Safety Kids program to our yeshivos and schools to empower and educate our children. It’s about children finding their voices. By training our schools, our parents, and our children, Safety Kids becomes a part of the conversation. When parents, teachers, and administrators have all been trained with the same information, they are aware of what the children have learned and the conversation can flow easily. Our children will know whom to approach to ask for help if they are lost. They will know how to identify a safety helper or trusted adult, such as a mother with children.” The program is then brought to the children in nursery through fourth grade by a cadre of volunteer educators who are trained to convey the messages of Safety Kid. These messages are transmitted via age-appropriate media such as puppets and posters in

the younger grades and videos and discussion in the older grades. Dr. Zilberberg adds, “Empowering our children helps them make safe choices. Safe choices promote prevention. Including children and adults in prevention models is essential for ef-

Far Rockaway community, as well as schools in Long Beach and West Hempstead. “The response has been overwhelmingly positive—both from parents and from schools,” Dr. Karasick said. “The program has caught on like wildfire;

“We teach our children to be obedient and respectful, but how will they react in an uncomfortable situation?” fective children’s safety. These are two of the principles upon which the program is based.” “The Safety Kid model is based on the premise that it takes a community to keep a child safe,” said Dr. Shoshana Karasick, clinical psychologist and coordinator of Magen LI’s mental-health team. “It’s an awareness, education, and prevention program. Education provides knowledge; knowledge provides skills; skills empower.” Thus far, Magen  LI has reached out to 14 schools in the Five Towns/

as soon as one school heard about it, others wanted to get involved. Parents tell us that their children are very excited about the program. It’s done in an easy-to-hear, palatable manner.” She adds, “Sarah Bergman is an amazing person. She took an idea, from a kernel, and brought it to fruition. Our community owes her a tremendous debt of gratitude.” Magen  LI training workshops are scheduled next at Yeshiva of South Shore and Shulamith School for Girls. 

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And Israel bowed [to Yosef] upon the bed’s head (Bereishis 47:31)

This bears out the popular saying, “A fox in its hour—bow down to it.” (Talmud, Megillah 16b)

And it came to pass after these things, that it was said to Yosef: Behold, your father is ill (Bereishis 48:1) Avraham introduced aging to the world,Yitzchak affliction, and Yaakov illness. Avraham requested old age, pleading before G-d: “Master of the Universe! When a man and his son enter a town, none know whom to honor.” Said G-d to him: “By your life, you have asked a proper thing, and it will commence with you.” Thus, from the beginning of the sefer aging is not mentioned, but when Avraham came, old age was granted to him, as is written: “And Avraham was old and come along in days” (Bereishis 24:1). Yitzchak asked for affliction, pleading thus: “Master of the Universe! When a man dies without affliction, Judgment threatens him; but if You afflict him, Judgment would not threaten him.” Said G-d to him: “By your life, you have asked well, and it will commence with you.” Thus affliction is not mentioned from the beginning of the sefer until Yitzchak, as is written: “And it came to pass, that when Yitzchak was old, and his eyes were dimmed” (ibid., 27:1). Yaakov requested illness, saying to Him: “Master of the Universe! A man dies without previous illness and does not settle his affairs with his children; but if he were two or three days ill, he would settle his affairs with his children.” Said G-d to him: “By your life, you have asked well, and it will commence with you.” Thus it is written: “It was said to Yosef: Behold, your father is ill.” (Midrash Rabbah)

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insights on THE TORAH

A Well-Trained Eye Mussar of the Alter of Slabodka BY RABBI DOVID WEINBERGER CONGREGATION SHAARAY TEFILA

It says in Chumash that a person should not stray after his heart and after his eyes. Our rabbis says that two inclinations bring one to sin—the heart and the eyes. The rabbis comment that one might think that this order is reversed; it should have said after one’s eyes and then heart. The eyes first lead one to stray and the heart follows the eye’s lead. Based on Chazal’s order, it appears that one needs to be aware of a possible inclination one may already have, be-

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cause that inclination can, in a sense, precede the temptation itself. A person has not only to learn to look only where he is supposed to look, but a person has to work on not coming to desire at all. Eating food that is needed is expected and normal. A desirous person is one who is eating more than one should. Even in permissible things, there is a way to do things appropriately and a way that one can have their desire get the best of them. If a person allows desire to overwhelm him in permissible things, then when something is forbidden desire will

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

also overtake him. One may assume that desire for the permissible is fine, but this is not really true. (Desire for mitzvos is not a problem, and this is not what we refer to when we discuss the permissible.) A person in the course of desiring even the permissible is weakening his muscle to withstand the desire for that which is forbidden. Once you have given in to the permissible in an obsessive way, then you have given up your capability to defend against what is obviously wrong. So when the Torah says not to look at various things, this doesn’t merely mean not

to look at actual forbidden things, but to not even look at and involve oneself in permissible things in an indulgent, desirous way. Even if something is not physically forbidden, there is still a danger for a person with the desire of the eyes, more so than for any other part of one’s body. With other physical aspects of desire, there is a limit to how much one can desire; however, with the eyes one can dream and contemplate. For example, with chocolate, at a certain point choco-

proper way. We are expected and encouraged to broaden our horizons, but this comes from looking at things that are appropriate and then also looking at these things in the right way. When you are looking from the perspective of understanding the glory of Hashem, this is praiseworthy, whereas to merely look for one’s own pleasure alone would be considered demeaning. It becomes important for one to learn to train oneself to look at the right things with the right perspec-

We are able to train our eyes where to look and how to look so that the eye becomes our servant. late ends; there is a limit. After a certain amount of chocolate one becomes sick. But the eyes never tire. In one glance someone can see very much, and the influence of the eye is far greater than other senses of the body. What the eyes see has a tremendous impact. If one sees a field full of grass, it looks common, but if the same field is missing something, it is glaringly obvious. When one see a full field, the eye is actually noticing and processing the many small bits of information it sees. On this basis it would seem that one should be careful to even limit the amount of pleasure one derives from seeing beauty in the world. Yet on this very point there is an interesting Ralbag that mentions that when Moshe Rabbeinu wanted to see the Land of Israel, we learn from this that there is an actual mitzvah to see everything that Hashem has created. In fact, this should have a positive influence. We see that in the past many gedolim would go out of their way to see interesting places. Rav Shamson Raphael Hirsch went to the Alps and there are many other similar examples, all seeming to agree with this Ralbag. However, we do know that even in this respect, there are limits to how much anyone can and should indulge in looking to be inspired by great places and wondrous lands. On the one hand, it appears correct to limit oneself. But we have to understand why we need to have a limit at all, and when one analyzes what the true point of such a limitation is, it turns out that what is truly appropriate is to learn how to look at things in the

tive, and this requires that one constantly work on oneself to achieve this level. One should never just “look,” but rather always be looking with a purpose in mind, and then one is able to train oneself to look for things that glorify Hashem’s greatness and are related to mitzvos. The Alter would experience tremendous personal excitement in his description of and relation to the physical world and the gardens and nature in the area near his yeshiva. One might think that separation from physical things is the right way, yet this is apparently incorrect. One is expected to learn to utilize the eyes in a proper fashion and to train the eye to understand what things are destined for our benefit and are uplifting, as opposed to making sure we don’t see what we shouldn’t see. We are able to train our eyes where to look and how to look so that the eye becomes our servant. In this way one is able to combat the drive for things that aren’t permissible. When one trains oneself to direct their eyes and have their eyes look strictly from a perspective and context of the glorification of Hashem, then when confronting any challenge one can learn to carefully consider what one looks at and work to guard against letting the eyes stray, and yet carefully look for opportunities that would enable using the same eyes to absorb the greatness of Hashem’s world.  In memory of Levi Yitzchak ben Rav Avraham Elimelech, a’h. Prepared for publication by Dovid Steiner and the Five Towns Jewish Times based on Rabbi Weinberger’s mussar vaad.


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Obama: The Greatest Show On Earth Tidbits From Israel BY RON JAGER Preaching to the choir—that’s what Obama does, and he does it well. Obama’s latest “greatest show on earth” was at the recent biennial convention of the Union of Reform Judaism before 5,000 Reform Jews who gave Obama almost as many standing ovations as Congress gave Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu this past spring. By pushing all the right buttons and telling these liberal Jews whatever they wanted to hear, Obama could do no wrong. Obama has hosted Passover Seders and held Chanukah candle-lighting ceremonies in the White House, never losing the opportunity to play into what makes liberal Jews tick. Never mind the Arab Spring nurtured and supported by Obama turning into a nightmare of Islamic extremism. Never mind Iran’s triumphant march towards nuclear capability due to Obama’s inaction over the past three years—remember the three wasted years of “engaging Iran” and nothing to show for it. And never mind the very real danger that Egypt will cancel the peace agreement with Israel as Egypt’s Islamic Brotherhood begins to head the Egyptian government—they too were part of Obama’s grand plans for the Middle East. Never mind Obama’s unstoppable bud-

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getary runaway and America’s national debt ballooning to $15 trillion in just three years. Concluding with, “Don’t let anybody else tell a different story.” Like I said, the greatest show on earth. President Obama’s record on Israel has been the subject of nonstop debate since he took office. Given President Obama’s failed and naive doctrine when it comes to Israel, one cannot avoid the serious concern and doubt about Obama’s intentions towards Israel, should he be reelected. We, the thinking public, should not dismiss his success in packaging and marketing his liberal positions on domestic issues. We can’t draw the wrong conclusions about Obama’s record as far as Israel’s security is concerned—as was perfectly orchestrated at the Convention of the Union of Reform Judaism. Israel needs a more reliable friend in the White House than President Obama. Only a White House that truly believes in and appreciates Israel’s value in complementing and sustaining American interests in the Middle East can be considered a friend of Israel. Obama does not fit this description. Obama will always regard Israel as a bargaining chip to endear himself among the Islamic masses. We saw this in Iran, and we saw this as Obama abandoned one Middle East ally after another. In recent weeks, Obama has bragged at almost every opportunity how he is Israel’s greatest friend and has done more

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

for Israel than any of his predecessors, reminding us again and again, “Don’t let anybody else tell a different story.” Now for the facts: The true story is very different from the imaginary and convoluted narrative that Obama passes on as truth. From his very first day in office, Obama made it his business to distance himself and the United States from Israel. Remember the speech in Cairo at the beginning of his presidency in which he drew a moral equivalence between the Holocaust and the plight of the “Palestinians” (Arabs of Judea and Samaria), implying that the “nakba” was the beginning of the Palestinian Arabs’ Holocaust? This attempt by Obama to distance himself from Israel is the main reason that the Palestinian Authority and its leader, the Holocaust denier and unelected President Mahmoud Abbas, decided to boycott Israel’s elected government, abandon and avoid any and all negotiations with Israel, and ignore American interests by unilaterally going to the United Nations. No other president has done more to undermine Jerusalem as Israel’s eternal undivided capital. Imagine the possibilities to Israel’s detriment should Obama not have any electoral constraints holding him back. After recent months of relentless and often ruthless Republican attacks on Obama, and faced with polls predicting a potential Jewish flight from his camp, Obama is using his appearances to preach before home crowds. Now is the time to remind us all of what must be told about Obama. Now is the time to get the facts straight, before the national media convinces the public that

if the Republicans get voted in, it’s the end of the world. Since 1945, Democrats have had the White House for 31 years and the Republicans for 36 years. In spite of repeated predictions that it would, the world has not ended when the other side got in. If the Republicans win the White House in 2012, the world won’t end this time either. Now is the time to clearly remind the American public that the “greatest show on earth” will not hide Obama’s colossal failures, no matter how incessantly we are all told about Obama’s successful presidency. Obama has spoken of his support for Israel’s security but has done much, some say all he can, to undermine Israel’s diplomatic position and strengthen her enemies. All we have to ask ourselves is one simple question: “Is America better off today than she was four years ago?” You know the old saying, “You can fool all of the people some of the time; you can fool some of the people all the time, but you can’t fool all the people all the time.” This quote has sometimes been attributed to P.  T. Barnum of the world-famous Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, the “greatest show on earth.”  Ron Jager is a 25-year veteran of the Israel Defense Forces, where he served as a field mental-health officer and as commander of the central psychiatric military clinic for reserve soldiers at Tel-Hashomer. Since retiring from active duty in 2005, he has been providing consultancy services to NGOs, implementing psychological trauma treatment programs in Israel. Ron currently serves as a strategic advisor to the director of the Shomron Liaison Office. To contact him, e-mail medconf@netvision.net.il.


BY CHANITA TEITZ

The Kosher Restaurants GPS When our friend Yitzie Katz came by to tell us of his phone app, I first had to figure out what an app is. Now you’re all probably laughing at me, but I have some technological delays. When he said his app works on an iPhone or an Android, it sounded like some science fiction. (You’re laughing again.) But once I understood that this is a service he started which allows GPS system users to access a database of kosher restaurants and find ones close to them, I was interested in hearing more. According to Yitzie, “Two of the biggest problems for a Jew away from home are ‘Where can I eat?’ and ‘Where will I find a minyan?’” “Once upon a time, Jewish travelers had to spend time searching around the community that they traveled to for a hint of Jewish life, or hope to find a nearby Chabad house. But nowadays, there is a smartphone app for everything, and that includes a Jew in search of a kosher meal.” About a year ago, he launched his app and called it Kosher Restaurants GPS, which allows the GPS systems in iPad, iPod Touch (via Wi-Fi), iPhone, and Android phones the ability to access his kosher database right from their device. Unlike public restaurant databases, which include non-kosher restaurants and those with unreliable hashgachos, the Kosher Restaurants GPS database is private, and includes only restaurants with the most reliable hashgachos. The app allows travelers not only the ability to find kosher restaurants throughout the United States and Canada, but also to find nearby minyanim and mikvahs. An added perk for users of the app is that there are discounts to various restaurants, ranging from 15% off to a free glass of wine for customers who show the owner or manager the app with the discount marked in red. Where once there was stress for Jewish travelers, now there is convenience. Be it a vacation or a business trip, the app is so useful it’s become necessary. Yitzie has received many thank-yous from its users, such as parents who didn’t know where to find a place to feed their hungry, complaining children and with the app found a restaurant just a mile away, or people who needed a minyan to say Kaddish and thanks to the app found a nearby factory that had a daily Minchah minyan. Kosher Restaurants GPS (www.kosherrestaurantsgps.com) plans to add even more new features to the app in the future. To find the app, just search in the App store or Android marketplace for Kosher GPS.

6–Motzaei Shabbos, Janurary 7. The Shabbos schedule includes Minchah and Kabbalas Shabbos at Ohel Simcha Hall (72nd Avenue and Main Street) at 4:30 p.m. At 8:00 p.m. there will be a tisch at Ohel Simcha. On Shabbos morning, Shacharis at 9:30 a.m. at Ohel Simcha Hall with a kiddush following davening. Minchah followed by shalosh seudos at Ohel Simcha at 4 p.m. and a melaveh malka at 9:30 p.m. at the home of Baruch and Hindy Amsel, 138-50 78th Drive. All divrei Torah will be delivered in English and the Rebbe will be available for private appointments on Motzaei Shabbos from 8:00 to 9:30 p.m. as well as after the melaveh malkah until 12:30 a.m. To schedule an appointment please call Mendy Taub, 347-578-3207. Next Shabbos, January 13–14, is the yearly Chai Lifeline Shabbos. The entire community is invited to participate. Details in next week’s column. YESS!—Yeshiva Education for Special

G R A N D O P E N I N G

Students is pleased to invite you to a book signing with Ashira Greenberg, author of Don’t Judge By What You See (Israel Book Shop) on Saturday evening, January 14 at 8:00 p.m. This story told in rhymes clearly conveys to children the important lesson of not judging those who seem different, especially those with physical handicaps, by their appearance, but rather seeing people for who they truly are inside. Ashira Greenberg is a student at Samuel H. Wang Yeshiva University High School for Girls and a former YESS! Volunteer. She will speak about why she wrote the book and sign copies. The book signing will take place at the home of Sima and Abe Aneselovics, 70-22 173rd Street in Fresh Meadows. $25 per person includes one copy of the book. Additional copies will be available for sale. There will be a unique Art Exhibit, Discussion, and Dessert Buffet for Singles 23–34, Sunday, January 15, 7:30– 10:30 p.m. at the Young Israel of Jamaica Estates Ballroom, 83-10 188th Street, Jamaica Estates. RSVP to office@yije.

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org or 718-479-7500. $15 advance and $20 at the door. Registration is limited. Sponsored by YIJE Singles Network, SawYouAtSinai, OU, NCYI and YU Connects. Ateret Seminary for Women presents a monthly lecture series for women. Rabbi Zev Lew, Popular limudei kodesh educator, will speak on Wednesday, January 18 at 8:30 p.m. at Cong. Ahavas Yisroel, 147-02 73rd Avenue, in the shul (upstairs). For more information call 718-896-8251.

Mazal Tov . . . . . . to our neighbors Avi and Renee Herskowitz on the birth of a grandson to their children, Shmulie and Chayala Diamanstein. Mazal tov to the grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Peterfreund of Kew Gardens and Mr. and Mrs. Herskowitz of Yerushalayim, formerly of Forest Hills.  Chanita Teitz is a real-estate broker at Astor Brokerage in Kew Gardens Hills and Fresh Meadows. For all your real-estate needs in Queens call 718-263-4500 or e-mail chanita@astorbrokerage.com.

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Why did Yaakov bless Pharaoh before he blessed his own sons?

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Why was the mourning period after Yaakov Avinu’s passing so much more intense than that which followed the deaths of Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak Avinu?

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It’s here, the time of year that’s perfect for a game of catch. At least that’s the way my mother saw it and that’s what she taught me. But not everything I learned from my mother panned out. Back in the day, especially if it was a day in the 1940s or 50s, most parents had their own ideas about what made their kids sick. In my mother’s mind, the cause for most childhood illness was risky behavior. Her philosophy didn’t vary. It was always “If you do this you will catch that” and “If you do that you will catch this.” There was so much talk about catching in my house that we could have been mistaken for sportscasters doing an onair broadcast about a ball game. But in deference to my mother, as well as to most mothers back then, there was a reason for that type of thinking. A mother’s main focus in life was then, as it is now, to protect her family. And since no one could tell her for sure how or why her children got colds and sore throats from time to time, it must have been a comfort to come up with a reason for the trouble. That made a mother feel that she had some control over the health of her family. Although scientists had experimented with multiple lenses as early as the 1500s, it wasn’t until a full century later that Antonie van Leeuwenhoek built simple yet powerful one-lens microscopes through which he discovered the existence of bacterial organisms. That was a step forward, of course, but it wasn’t the answer, because viruses were still unheard of at the time. Few people even suspected that they existed until the late 1800s. And once it was learned that they did indeed exist, they still couldn’t be detected. Viruses remained in hiding until 1931, with the advent of the electron microscope. It wasn’t until the late 1940s that scientists were able to observe the structure of viruses in detail. Some people tend to think of viruses as little bugs that skulk around, but actually they’re tiny geometric structures that can only reproduce inside a living cell. Despite the new and ever expanding knowledge that something called a virus was the cause of many diseases, somehow that news didn’t get to my mother. Years later, she still remained certain that it all boiled down to using common sense. In her opinion, it was a given that my sister and I would catch something bad and come to harm if we “took foolish chances.” This was a year-round philosophy and it involved everything. When we came out of the ocean after a swim, we weren’t allowed to remain in a wet bathing suit. The sun might be frying us to a crisp and the temperature could be hovering somewhere north of 90 degrees, but we had to get out of that wet suit and into a dry one. It didn’t make a

lot of sense, since we usually raced back into the water within 30 minutes. But those were the rules! The only time we remained out of the water for any length of time was after we had lunch. Eating a simple tuna-fish sandwich meant that we had to rest for a good hour before going back in for another dip, because we might get a cramp after eating and, G-d forbid, drown. Why it had to be a “good” hour, I never understood. Was there such a thing as a “bad” hour? I also never grasped the concept of how a tuna sandwich could cause a cramp. But there was no point in asking either of those questions, because my mother’s response never changed. “Do you want to look for trouble?” Clearly, her focus wasn’t only on “catching” something. She was equally fixated with “looking” for something. But any mother’s caution during the summer months was child’s play compared to the winter months. That was when my mother took out the big guns. As soon as the temperature dipped below 50 degrees, we had to be “careful.” And the warnings weren’t just for kids. My father also had to toe the line. According to my mother, he shouldn’t step outside for 30 seconds to throw out the garbage unless he wore a jacket or, at the very least, a warm sweater. “You’ll catch a cold.” My father was also forced to bundle up like Nanook of the North just to take in the mail. And, for all of us, morning bathing or showering was out of the question. No one was allowed to leave the house within five hours of being wet. It was considered nothing short of insanity. The expression “Are you looking for trouble?” would have covered everything, but my mother was more specific. She would offer suggestions about the type of trouble we might be looking for. “Are you looking to get pneumonia? Who goes out with a wet head?” The questions were always rhetorical. No answers were expected and none were ever given. What was there to say? Not long ago, when I, as a mature adult, “caught” pneumonia, it occurred to me that I was innocent. I hadn’t gone outside with a wet head. I never can. My mother’s words still ring in my ears. True, I hadn’t worn a sweater or a jacket each time I left the house that week; but then again it was late May of 2011, and the temperature hovered somewhere in the eighties. Obviously it isn’t necessary to “look” for trouble, as trouble can find anyone anytime it wants to. Equally obvious is the fact that my mother’s idea of what we “catch” and how we catch it was wrong. So why do I still think that the “catching” season is upon us? That’s the way it was, and that’s the way it is!  Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at Savtahannah@aol.com or 516-902-3733.


OUR ALIYAH CHRONICLE By Shmuel Katz

Condo? Co-Op? Rental?

Dare We Draw New Lines? Sleeping in after the big Bet Shemesh rally last week without going online to see the latest news, I awoke to a neighbor’s e-mail telling me how the media and many politicians blasted PM Netanyahu’s reported proposal to potentially divide Bet Shemesh into two different municipalities in order to ease the tensions in the area. Without much familiarity with the details of the plan, my first reaction was, “Where do we sign up?” I kid you not. Not only do I not think PM Netanyahu an idiot here, I think the idea is brilliant! I think the division into two municipalities will not only allow for the ultimate growth of Bet Shemesh as a city supportive of all, it will also lead to what I believe will be the ultimate wake-up call for the country, one that we sorely need. Like it or not, the communities within Bet Shemesh are not going to suddenly move out just because of the recent tensions. Each side believes that their cause is just, and the struggle for control will only continue to escalate. As I have said before, this is much less about things like Shabbat or tzeniut than is being portrayed, and much

more about who is going to live where and have control of things like land use and budget. Another major point of contention is the development of future housing facilities within the city. The current city government, with the approval of the national government, seems intent on assigning 90 percent or more (I won’t say 100% simply because there might be a spot or two I don’t know about) of all future new housing construction for the use of the chareidi sector. There are currently 30,000 units of new housing being developed for the as yet unopened Ramat Bet Shemesh Gimmel project—all being actively marketed exclusively to the chareidi sector. While the other populations within Bet Shemesh do not begrudge the chareidi sector the need for new housing, they would like to see Bet Shemesh continue to also serve as a city for other sectors of the population. There is no reason why the city (if it were planned properly with civil engineering designed to eliminate flashpoints like the one that currently exists be-

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MINDBIZ By Esther Mann, LCSW

Dear Esther, I’ve been reading your column long enough to know that I’m not the only person with a dysfunctional family. I guess some families are a lot worse than others, but mine is pretty bad. My mother has always been very selfish and controlling. Even when we were children, her needs have always come first. She doesn’t think about impressing anyone, speaks her mind, and is basically a bully. But she is my mother and the only one I’ll ever have. Now she is widowed and definitely uses it to her advantage in terms of making me feel sorry for her and guilty and ultimately doing what she wants. My sister lives in Florida. She’s another tough lady. Bossy, manipulative, and capable of some extreme behavior. But she can also be fun and loving. One minute she can be throwing dishes at you and the next minute laughing and hugging you. Whenever I spend time with my mother and sister, I say to myself, “Never again.” Inevitably there is fighting (I’m ashamed to say it can even become physical), name-calling, and such ugly behavior. And yet, after a few months go by, I find myself missing them and wanting

to walk right back into the lion’s den. It’s crazy. Maybe I’m just as crazy as they are, since I’m always pulled back in. At least I was normal enough, or smart enough, to marry a really nice guy. “Joe” is easygoing, insightful, and smart enough to stay away from my family. After a number of terrible visits with them, Joe told me that he’d never put himself back into that horrible situation again. He has stuck to his word. My mother lives in New Jersey. If I want to see her and my sister when my sister comes in, and if I want our three children to get to know their grandmother, aunt, and cousins, I have to spend time at my mother’s house with all of them. This happens maybe four or five times a year. I will pack up myself and my children, drive out to New Jersey, and join the crowd. Joe is always extremely unhappy with me when I leave and take the children with me. Eventually he gets over it, but usually he stays angry for a few days. But it’s like my mother and sister are a magnet that pulls me in, even though I can still remember how desperate I was to leave them the last time around. I can still remember the fights, the yelling, and the craziness that inevitably took


place. But I don’t want to risk their anger. And honestly, I don’t want to miss out on any fun that we will all be having together. It’s like camp for the mean and crazy. So midwinter vacation is coming up soon. My sister is coming in for a long weekend and expects me to join them. My mother is also telling me to come, though she is probably one of the least gracious mothers you’d ever want to meet— but that’s another story. Joe doesn’t want us to leave him. He particularly hates it when the children are away for more than a night. He misses all of us. I’m trying to figure out what to do. I know Joe will get over it eventually, but my mother will not. She’ll hold it over me, tell me that she’s not going to live forever, and that I’ll regret the time not spent visiting her. I’m really stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do, but feel like I’ll probably succumb to my mother and sister’s pressure and move in with them for a bit. Am I wrong to do this? Pressured Dear Pressured, You’ve got a very difficult situation. No matter which way you turn, someone will be disappointed in you. It’s easy to understand the pull you feel to be back in the midst of your family—which represents the

world you grew up in and the only world you knew for many important years of your life. As crazy as you describe it to be, it’s part of your reality, and strangely, it must feel very comfortable for you, despite the drama. We are all creatures of habit. And though we may feel a distaste for a certain habit and genuinely try our hardest to make a break from it, the ease with which anyone can simply fall back into old patterns of behavior can be nothing short of frightening.

sire to put one another first. But there is so much more to your story. I wonder whether you’ve given much thought to the fact that you are exposing your children to a great deal of high drama and perhaps even toxic behavior, thereby giving them the message that it’s okay for adults to fight and yell and even become physical with one another. What are they to make of this behavior? I’m assuming that they don’t see this behavior at home. Plus, what kind of

behavior do you want to model for your children in terms of what healthy behavior should look like and, furthermore, what a healthy marriage should look like? Do you want them to believe it is perfectly normal for wives and husbands to go their separate ways when it’s convenient? I will go out on a limb and say that your behavior must inevitably change when you are with your mother and sister, or,

Continued on Page 38

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The quick answer to your question would be “yes.” Generally speaking, I believe it is wrong to leave one’s spouse for an extended period of time, if it’s not absolutely necessary. I may get e-mails from people disagreeing with me, but I do believe one’s spouse should be one’s top priority. Obviously, emergencies come up and sometimes work obligations force a husband or a wife to leave town. But I think an important component within a strong marriage is a mutual de-

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MINDBIZ Continued from Page 37 as you said, when you “go back into the lion’s den.” How could it not? It’s called fitting in. Then your children are seeing an altered mother, and certainly not altered in a good way. Consider what happens when you find yourself back in the role of the child of a “selfish, controlling mother.” What does that look like? Can you feel proud of the behavior that gets invoked? And finally, where does your loyalty to Joe fit into this equation? I could understand your conflict if Joe decided he was unwilling to visit with your family for no good reason. But he has very good reason for staying out of harm’s way. Should he be punished for that and left without his family? I’m wondering if you and Joe have had a meaningful heart-to-heart, so that he might better understand what it feels like to walk in your shoes. That can only be helpful—no matter what you ultimately decide to do. So that brings us to the obvious question. Does it have to be all or nothing? Why do you feel you have to pack up and move into your mother’s home? You are an adult. Camp is long gone. Why can’t you meet up with them for a daytime activity and go back home to sleep? They are close enough. Is it possible that the only way to be with them is by being totally immersed? Will they allow you to visit with them on your own terms? Can you allow yourself to do it your way, without feeling guilty or left out? If your mother and your sister are incapable of embracing compromise, you may find yourself forced to decide which tribe you want to belong to. Do you really want to belong to your family of origin’s tribe, where there are no limits and anything goes? Does that actually have some allure for you? Might you be drawn to the opportunity to act out, be a kid again, no holds barred? By moving in, might you be saying that perhaps you are not that much different from your mother and sister? Is that truly the person you want to be? If the answer is “no,” then you have to reach deeply within yourself and take a stand. Choose your tribe. Together with Joe, with your children at your sides, happily embrace the fact that you’ve made the right choice and that your mother and sister will just have to accept and deal with a different way of being together. Less intense but also less chaotic. No doubt, shorter, carefully managed pockets of time spent together is the way to go. Hopefully, your mother and sister will accept your new conditions. And if not, and they cut themselves off from you because it has to be their way or the highway, your work will first be beginning. Because “cutoffs” are not so simple. But that’s for another column. For now, I hope that you have the clarity of vision to make your choices based on what’s best for your husband, your children, and yourself. It’s always advantageous to lead from love—not from fear. Esther Esther Mann, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in Lawrence. Esther works with individuals and couples. She can be reached at mindbiz44@aol.com or 516-314-2295.

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ALIYAH CHRONICLE Continued from Page 35

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'NK[C(TKFOCP5COCPVJC)GNNGTDQG4GDGEEC*GNNGTWR$GHOSKL8QLYHUVLW\ ;WFK9GDGTWR%RVWRQ8QLYHUVLW\ )CDD[.QXGVVWR&ROXPELD8QLYHUVLW\ #FCO$KUVTKV\M[WR&RRSHU8QLRQDQG1<8Ä&#x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tween Ramat Bet Shemesh Bet and Bet Shemesh) cannot allocate development to ensure that the current demographic balance is maintained. However, I do understand that the chareidi public has tremendous housing pressures, with shortages vastly outstripping those of the other segments of the population. Which is why I think the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bet Shemesh Realignment Planâ&#x20AC;? is an absolute must. Here is how I see it . . . In order to build the chareidi city, take (1) the Nachala Umenucha neighborhood, (2) the Resido neighborhood, and (3) Ramat Bet Shemesh Bet, and establish them as the heart of one city; letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s call it Bet Shemesh Illit. All other areas of Bet Shemesh, which includes other religious and non-religious neighborhoods as well as the industrial zones, will continue to be Bet Shemesh. Since Ramat Bet Shemesh Aleph contains a mixture of demographics, I would propose that they be allowed to vote, via public referendum, to choose which city they wish to join. Thereafter, I would propose that future city growth be split by the two cities, under a plan agreed to in advance. Under this plan, land currently identiďŹ ed as the Ramat Bet Shemesh Gimmel through Tav (or whatever amount of development has already been identiďŹ ed) be split equally between the two cities. In order to maintain equal growth, the two cities will be allocated equal amounts of land for development.

In order to diffuse the potential for â&#x20AC;&#x153;ďŹ&#x201A;ashpoints,â&#x20AC;? I would propose that the neighborhoods be designed in such a manner that there are no houses or apartments directly across from each other on the border roads. Rather, let both sides put schools, back to back on each side of the border, with a major road running between them. I think this leads to a win-win situation for both sides. Each side is able to open development of additional housing according to its individual needs. Bet Shemesh Illit wants to open 30,000 units of new housing for the chareidi public? Great! Welcome to Bet Shemesh Illit! Bet Shemesh needs to open 30,000 units of housing with areas for students, non-religious families, and religious families? TerriďŹ c! Welcome to Bet Shemesh! The cities can even work together in lobbying the state for things like better highway and intercity transportation services, which would need to be an integral part of this plan. Furthermore, they can develop the land for use as they see ďŹ t, without interference from the other side. As for revenues, well, things like arnona (real-estate tax) and other revenue-generating items will accrue to each cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beneďŹ t based upon its residents. Revenues that come from the state would be reallocated as well, based upon the formulation that the government currently uses to fund activities in other cities. I am sure that budgets like education funding are provided based upon population, as are other funds. Why should dividing those


funds create any problems? Wasn’t Bet Shemesh radically smaller just 15 years ago? Didn’t it function? How is this a bad solution? Let the chareidim live as they choose. Isn’t that what we are in effect asking them to do for us? I actually admire their commitment to living with a specific ideal. Why should it bother me if they want

not been for the Orot battle, those signs would never have gotten any attention. What I am talking about is allowing each community to be a part of the greater tapestry of the country and focus on its own priorities in growth and development without impinging on the other. We aren’t talking about setting up a new border with checkpoints.

Let’s solve Bet Shemesh problems in a way that works for Bet Shemesh. If they don’t translate elsewhere, so be it. to live alone—so long as they give me the same right to live as I choose and with the neighbors that I choose. I am not talking about illegal street signs. If they are illegal, they will be illegal no matter how the city lines are drawn. However, I do not think that either of those two issues is the major source of the tensions of the city. I know that people outside the city who wish to use the city as a lever to make their points about equality and gender discrimination (and even some of my neighbors here in the city) will disagree, but, in my opinion, despite its illegality, I do not really think a sign in the heart of a chareidi neighborhood calling for a segregated sidewalk is the main problem in Bet Shemesh. Had it

All the PM suggested was adding an imaginary line that might help people stop fighting each other. I have no idea if this plan could work, but it makes sense to at least consider it. We need real solutions in this country, and refusing to consider even outrageous ideas is a sign of narrow-mindedness. Does it solve the problem in total? No! In the long run, there will still be battles fought about religion and freedom of expression throughout the country. That is inevitable, due to the intransigent nature of one side in refusing to change, with the other side’s demand that everyone pitch in and physi-

Continued on Page 45

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Wanna See A Play? BY MORDECHAI SCHMUTTER I’m very excited that my son Daniel finally had his school Chumash play. And not because he started learning Chumash. He started that months ago. I’m excited that, after his two kindergarten graduations, his pre-1A end-of-the-year ceremony, his Siddur play, and now his Chumash play, I don’t think I’m going to have to go to another play of his at least until he starts Mishnayos. I’m guessing. Perhaps you feel this way too. You have nothing against school plays per se, but you’ve already heard all of your son’s lines. You’ve heard them over and over again for the past couple of weeks, often at the top of his lungs, usually after he was supposed to be asleep. So why are you there? To hear the other kids sing? But you go anyway, and you sit in a room full of parents who are no more interested in seeing your kid perform than you are in seeing their kid perform. Not that you can see anything anyway, because all of the enthusiastic parents in the front row are standing up, so you’re spending the better part of the performance staring at their backs. You do catch occasional glimpses of your child. For some reason, even though you’d made sure he left the house in his nicest Shabbos clothes, somehow, in the half hour since you dropped him off, he managed to get stains on his shirt in at least three different colors, has a single strand of tzitzis poking out, and when he

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sits down on the stage, he does so in a way that his pant legs ride up around his knees. Also, he’s making weird faces. And you figure that all the other parents are whispering, “Who dressed that kid? And why is he grimacing?” But finally your son gets up there, and even though he has all of two lines, and even though you know he knows them, and even though you know them so well

ing him up for this: “You’re going to sing nice and loud, right? Because Mommy and Totty are going to be there, and maybe even Bubby and Zaidy.” So the kids picture that they’re going to have to perform in front of an audience of maybe four people. Then they come out there and see a room full of strangers. They have no way of knowing that these people are actually the parents of the other kids. For all they know, these people just walked in off

His parents have to stand up to take a picture of him shaking hands with his rebbi and his principal and the guy who schlepped the Chumashim up to the stage.

that you can get up there and pin a letter of the alef beis to your shirt and sing them yourself, he gets up there and does nothing. He just stands there. If you’re lucky, the rebbi will have given each set of lines to two kids, and the other kid will bellow out his lines and not even notice that your son is just spacing out in the general direction of the audience. And then you, as a good parent, have to get up and take a picture of that. Or you can get up, along with the other kid’s father, and he will take a picture and you won’t. Why did your son freeze? It’s your own fault, really. You spent weeks psych-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

the street. (“Hey! Wanna go see a play?”) So your child stands up, in front of a sea of people he doesn’t know, and decides not to sing, because he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself. Only what the child doesn’t realize is that the only thing the other parents are going to remember, aside from their own child, is the kid who refused to sing and had to be carried off the stage in tears, so that for the rest of the play, the alef beis was missing a letter. And then each child gets called up one at a time, and his parents have to stand up to take a picture of him shaking hands with his rebbi and his principal and the

guy who schlepped the Chumashim up to the stage. I’m usually pretty good about that, but this time we forgot to bring our camera, and we didn’t realize until it was too late. Fortunately, phones these days take pictures, so I was able to use my phone, even though my phone in particular does not take pictures. It barely makes phone calls. But no one else knew that. I stood there, pointed my phone at my son, pushed a button, made a show of squinting at the screen, and sat back down. The things a parent does so as not to embarrass his child. In retrospect, maybe I should have borrowed a camera from one of the other parents. In all honesty, the only thing I remember from my own Chumash play is the nosh. Besides for being the day that I got my first Chumash, it was also the day I had my first cup of soda. I had tried soda before, but I didn’t get beyond my first sip, because the bubbles tickled my nose. So I was very hesitant when I came in and saw that the table was set for each kid, and that everyone had a cup of soda. Then we sat down, and we weren’t allowed to touch our food until the principal finished his speech. So I was sitting there, waiting for the speech to be over, and I saw that the kid next to me was making a face. I don’t know how to describe it—it was kind of like a teeth-baring smile, except the corners of his mouth weren’t turned upward or downward. It was like the face you make when your wife asks you to step on a bug, and you do, and then you remember that you’re not wearing shoes.


I kind of ignored it for a while, because parents kept snapping pictures of us, and I thought he just had a very weird smile. But then it was ten minutes later, and he was still doing it. So I asked him what was up with his face. He told me that he’d heard that if you make this face right before you drink soda, the bubbles won’t tickle your nose as much. (This is true. In fact, if you do it for an hour or more, it will probably seem like there are no bubbles at all.) This sounded like a great idea, so I did it too. And so did half my table. So any picture that was snapped of us during the second half of that speech has a bunch of kids making weird faces. That’s what I remember of my Chumash play. I don’t remember my performance. But I do remember the performance at my eighth-grade graduation. We performed something called a cantata, which is a Spanish word meaning “really old poem.” Everyone was assigned two lines of the poem, which we would try to say as fast as we could so the spotlight would move on to the next guy. My lines followed my friend Yehuda, whose lines went something like this: Bira d’shasis minei maya— Into the pit from which you have satisfied your thirst, Don’t throw rocks, that’s ungratefulness—one of the middos the worst. Now far be it from me to make fun of this line, because that would be in flagrant disregard to the very message of the line, which is that, if you went to this yeshiva, you can’t throw rocks at their cantata. So instead I’m going to use it as an advertisement for my freelance-writing business. (I also do poems for special occasions, such as occasions where someone calls me and asks if I do poems.) I mean, I understand the concept of poetic license, but that’s taking your poetic license and driving it off a cliff. But here’s the thing: I don’t actually remember my own line. I remember Yehuda’s line, because it was embarrassing, and I remember making faces at my Chumash play. It’s always the embarrassing stories that stick in your head for all eternity. So what I’m saying is that maybe the schools have, for example, a Chumash play, so that the kids will have some kind of embarrassing event, and will never forget the day they got their first Chumash.  Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and is the author of three books, published by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send any questions, comments, or ideas to MSchmutter@gmail.com.

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ALIYAH CHRONICLE Continued from Page 41 cally contribute to our national welfare and economy. Although I believe the issues being pushed to the forefront are a needed wake-up call to the country, I am not as convinced that Bet Shemesh also has to provide a national answer to the problems. We in Israel have some real problems to deal with as we continue to grow as the only democracy in the region. Hopefully, someone somewhere will ďŹ gure out a plan that works and is acceptable to the vast majority of us. Until then, the ďŹ&#x201A;oor is open to ideas, which is what the PM set forthâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;an idea. One that was universally panned. Yet, I do not see a viable (note that very important word) plan being presented by anyone else. All I have seen so far is, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You have to do thisâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;You have to stop doing that.â&#x20AC;? Nowhere is there a â&#x20AC;&#x153;We should do this.â&#x20AC;? I am not saying that there is not a need for social change. There is. But that is not a short-term ďŹ ght, and we need solutions for today in addition to other solutions that will take care of tomorrow as well. In fact, I simply do not understand why the liberals and leftists so blasted the plan. It is a plan based upon

their bread and butter, the principle of â&#x20AC;&#x153;land for peace.â&#x20AC;? Why are we so willing to trade land to have the potential for peace with our Arab cousins and yet are so adamantly against undertaking a similar transaction with our Jewish brothers? So what if it is, as they termed it, â&#x20AC;&#x153;only a short-term and short-sighted solutionâ&#x20AC;?? Why does Bet Shemesh need to be the proving ground of the sweeping changes demanded of the chareidim at large? Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solve Bet Shemesh problems in a way that works for Bet Shemesh. If they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t translate elsewhere, so be it. As we know, there is an incredible amount of ďŹ ghting for resources between the chareidi communities and the other communities within Bet Shemesh. Each side believes that they are entitled to fulďŹ ll social needs from municipal coffers as best serves their residents. I sayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;let them! And not that I need another reason, but for the cynical among us it might be important to note that representatives of the extremists have come out against this plan. If they are against it, I am deďŹ nitely for it! ď ś Shmuel Katz, his wife Goldie, and their six children made aliyah in July of 2006. Prior to his aliyah, Shmuel was the executive director of the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can contact him at shmuel@katzfamily.co.il.

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Another Mother’s Musings By Phyllis J. Lubin

Chanukah Cheer Continues The fans are rooting for their team: “Let’s go Islanders, let’s go Islanders!” and Yosef joins the crowds cheering. But if you listened closely to his chant, you heard, “Let’s go Chanukah!” Yesterday was the last day of the festival of lights. But in Yussie’s eyes the excitement of the holiday continues. Not long ago, Yosef was watching a hockey game with his hockey-fan father and he turned to his Dad and asked, “Can we go to a hockey game?” And so we are here. I have to admit this whole experience is exciting: the noise, the bright lights, the cheering, and did I mention the noise? Watching the players skate along the ice rink, I can see that this game is

certainly fast-moving. In the blink of an eye a team scores . . . like magic! This past week of Chanukah surely has been magical. A certain energy was in the air—even during the day, when the lights of the menorah were no longer lit. Even as I entered my office, the excitement was felt. The Chanukah week began with the Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP holiday party, and the cheer continued throughout the week. My parents were married on December 23, which in the year they wed corresponded to the 26th of Kislev. How fortuitous that during the miraculous time of Chanukah my folks began their life’s journey together as husband and wife.

Yosef Lubin and his dad enjoying a hockey game

Chanukah does not always coincide with the “English” date of their anniversary. When it does, it adds another sparkle to this time period. On Shabbos Chanukah, the Lubin clan made the trek from Cedarhurst to Woodmere to enjoy a little Chanukah cheer with the folks, while also serenading them with a little “Happy Anniversary” song as well. The joy continued on Sunday evening. My parents and in-laws, the newly married couple (just wed a little more than a month ago), and the residents of our Cedarhurst abode added to the happiness of the festival of lights. We all joined together for a family candle lighting and delicious milchig repast. We follow the minhag some have of eating dairy on Chanukah in honor of the holiday heroine, Yehudis—who was able to help win the war with a little help from a lot of milk, some wine, and a lot of ingenuity! Our latkes were expertly fried to perfection by Rivka, the table beautifully set by Rochel, and the yummy ice-cream anniversary cake chosen by our eldest daughter (home on break from Binghamton University). Our team just scored! The cheers are even louder now with Yussie’s voice heard in full force. Now his cheers for Chanukah are intermingled with his support for the home team! Alas, the Islanders do not have a great track record. But just one day after the miraculous holiday has ended, the Islanders are winning the game, and making our hearts shine—especially that of my husband, who is a faithful fan despite their low scores. This week is Yussie’s chance to join Lea at “Lea’s school.” It’s a Kulanu holiday inclusion program that gives Yosef, who usually attends public school, a chance to attend yeshiva for a few days, while I benefit by being able to attend work. This is my busiest and most frightening time at work. A large part of my time is spent making sure all the property-tax exemptions for my clients are renewed or original applications filed. The deadline etched in stone (or, more impor-

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of Yussie’s last experience at a hockey game a few years ago on an actual Chanukah evening when Rabbi Lieberman officiated over the lighting of the Islander menorah. Rabbi Lieberman spoke of the holiday of Chanukah and reminded us all to rededicate our lives in honor of the holiday by doing good deeds. So Yussie’s Chanukah cheer at the outset of the game

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truly did set the theme for the entire evening. At press time Chanukah will have been over for more than a week, and the Islanders are on an upturn. May the miraculous time of Chanukah continue to instill within all of us a sense of fortitude and victory over all our difficulties throughout this year and for years to come. 

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Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband, Leonard. They have six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea and now a new daughter-in-law, Nina. The author welcomes your questions and comments at MothersMusings@gmail.com.

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that he knows from Camp Hillel. My thanks go out to Jonathan Cooper, Kulanu, HAFTR, and the wonderful shadows from HAFTR Middle School who have made his visit so enjoyable. Next week, iy’H, Yosef will be back at South Side Middle School and back to his normal routine. As much as he enjoyed his vacation, Yussie misses his friends and teachers back in his usual scholastic environment. The first period has ended, and I just noticed an interesting sight. They are wheeling out a menorah and introducing Rabbi Yossi Lieberman from the Chabad of West Hempstead to say a few words. This is reminiscent

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Fighting For Your Marriage For more than 30 years, Howard J. Markman, Ph.D., one of the co-authors of the classic bestseller Fighting for Your Marriage, has been basing his mar-

and been written up in the New York Times, Time Magazine, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today. At a recent joint session in Jerusalem, Professor Markman announced that Susan Barth of Bet Shemesh would be franchising the program for use in

Photo by Michael Samin

BY TOBY KLEIN GREENWALD

Photo by Michael Samin

Ms. Susan Barth

Dr. Howard Markman

ital therapy and his system of premarital education on scientific research. He morphed this into a program called PREP—the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. Professor Markman has authored 12 books and has appeared on Oprah and The Today Show

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Israel, calling it I-PREP. It will be under the auspices of Ms. Barth’s organization, Together in Happiness, whose goal is to create a broad-based, richly varied program of marriage education and enhancement to help Israeli couples—both Hebrew and English speak-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

ers—cope with the challenges that every marriage encounters through its life. Who has not had to deal with conflicts emanating from different philosophies of child-raising, financial issues, or intimacy? Ms. Barth was a businesswoman in the U.S. before making aliyah in 2003. In America, she was responsible for creation and implementation of Oracle databases for State Street Bank in Boston and its global affiliates. But after aliyah, and upon the passing away of her mother, Ms. Barth de-

cided to devote her energies to marriage education. The daughter of a couple who were happily married for 52 years, she has dedicated this venture to their memory—Feigel bat Tuvia Nisan and Esir ben Avraham Benyamin. She hopes to inculcate in Israeli couples what she saw in her parents, “role models of a marriage built on the foundations of mutual respect, trust, and communication, shared goals, love and commitment to each other, and family values and appreciation for the gift each had found in each other.”


Her first project in Israel was creating a wedding guide, whose proceeds went to tzedakah, followed by “Preparing for Marriage Lovingly and Wisely” forums which focused on prenuptial agreements and premarital education. In May 2011, Ms. Barth organized the First International Conference on Marriage Education in Israel. Lecturers from Israel and around the world presented at the conference to an audience of over 360 professionals. In early November she brought Professor Markman and Marcie A. Pregulman to Jerusalem for a combined lecture-workshop at Beit Avi Chai, titled “Rediscover the Power of Your Relationship.” To emphasize their goal of engaging couples in relationship enhancement when their marriage is still young, newlyweds (married less than three years) attended free. Ms. Barth spoke eloquently and movingly about her parents’ happy marriage and the need for premarital workshops, before introducing Professor Markman. “One of the best ways to benefit children is to have the best possible marriage,” Professor Markman said, and added that children with two parents do better in life. According to statistics, he said, there is today a 25 percent chance that couples marrying in Israel will get divorced, “more than doubled since 1970.” He also said that 75 percent of couples in the U.S. are living together, unmarried, and that statistics show that couples who live together before they marry have a higher divorce rate than those who do not. He believes this proves the importance of commitment to a marriage. He also quoted the surprising find that 92 percent of the couples who said they wanted to divorce, but stayed together, declared five years later that they were happy. Some 10 percent of couples who file for divorce in the U.S. say that they really want to work it out. “One can reach more couples through marriage education than through marital therapy,” he said, and claimed that learning skills and principles that are research-based can help to create healthy and happy relationships. Recognizing their importance and benefits, over $150 million has been invested in the past eight years by the U.S. federal government in various marriage education programs. His ideas are elaborated upon at length in his book, which also comes with a 40-minute DVD to help couples jump-start the process.

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Photo by Jeck Neckonoff

A Five Towns Simcha

Mazal tov to Wayne and Batsheva Kutner on the bat mitzvah of their daughter Eliana on Sunday, December 18. Eliana attends HANC Middle School and lives in West Hempstead. Mazal tov also to sister Tova and brothers Shlomo and Baruch. The catering was by Meal Mart and the event was held at Beth Sholom in Lawrence. DJ entertainment was provided by Jeff Neckonoff of Azamra Music.

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January 6, 2012

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real estate & mortgage financing By Anessa V. Cohen

Wishes And Dreams For 2012 Here we are: 450 tons or so of confetti being cleared out of Times Square after an amazing show of human activity— last count I heard was around the two million mark. The entertainment extravaganzas going on way into the night are over, the horn-blowing and singing is done, and life as we know it has gone back to its regular routine. Now what? I like to think that we have cleared some kind of hurdle—although I think the only one that seemed to be prevalent with many of my customers during the last two weeks was how to deal with the car pools needed for those days when the yeshivas had school while the buses had vacation. Since we are now in January 2012, though, I thought it might be fun to share a list of possible wishes and dreams both buyers and sellers might have for the coming year, and it might go something like this. We wish for:

• A rerouting of Peninsula Boulevard and West Broadway so that there is a larger swath of streets and houses to choose from in-between. • Mortgage rates of “no interest” the

contingent on his in-laws. As my wise grandson Chaim Avezov once told me, “Live your life’s dreams or spend your life dreaming!” 

• To walk into that perfect house and have the owner say, “I like you so much, you decide on the price.” • A house that is on a block where all your kids’ friends live, is close to everything you need, and maybe even has a friendly judge or two anxious to help you with those parking tickets that were issued to you in error. • A mortgage bank that sends you a letter which says, “This month is on us!” • A buyer who comes in to look at the house you are selling and says, “I love it! Why is it so cheap?” • (For the indecisive seller): A buyer who comes in and states, “I will buy it

Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker with over 20 years of experience, offering full-service residential and commercial real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-5695007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to send questions or comments to anessa.cohen@AVCrealty.com.

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To walk into that perfect house and have the owner say, “I like you so much, you decide on the price.” first 10 years, 2% interest the remaining 20 years, and of course no down payment needed. • To be the first one in the door to that beautiful underpriced new house when it comes on the market.

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Your Marriage Continued from Page 49 Markman appears on the DVD with his two co-authors, Dr. Scott M. Stanley and Dr. Susan L. Blumberg. The presenters maintain that how couples handle conflicts before marriage predicts how they will manage over time. They have videoed their research for many years, with the permission of the couples in therapy. “You can see a lot just by watching,” says Markman. One couple seems to be as playful in their conversation after five years of marriage and three children as they were in the beginning. Markman says, “That kind of positivity is important for a great marriage over time.” In 2006 (when they were married ten years), they had five kids and—though they seemed a little more tired—were talking comfortably, suddenly discovering things about each other about which they had never spoken before. It was clear that even though they were having a serious discussion, they were speaking in a way that would protect their relationship and friendship. Among the “keys” emphasized throughout the book and the DVD: Taking a break. “Only Hashem can give us credit for angry words which we didn’t speak,” Markman said. Also, “Decide, don’t slide. Make it safe to connect.” Do your part. Keep the focus on what you can do to make your relationship all it can be. Markman recalls and adapts the line by JFK, when he says, “Ask not

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what your partner can do for you but what you can do for your partner.” Watch out for communication danger signs and destructive patterns. For example, if your spouse hasn’t called to let you know he’ll be late, pick up the phone and ask him if everything is OK. Sometimes the solution is not so complicated. Markman says that when your partner asks you to do something small and it’s not against your religious values, just do it! However, if he or she doesn’t do it, try to do your part and not make it more than a simple event that you can deal with safely. They advise on how to recognize if you tend to withdraw, escalate, invalidate, or use negative interpretations, and say that the fact that these are common does not make them good. Use the Speaker-Listener technique. Couples learn to first paraphrase what the other is saying, before responding. Among the clips they share with the viewers is one hot argument between a husband and wife that started because she did not take her mobile phone. She walked out of her tap class feeling on top of the world, and her new husband (they appear middle-aged, and it is a second marriage for both) brought her crashing down when she walked in the house and he berated her for not taking her phone, as he had something to ask her, and she had said she would have the phone with her. Another couple struggles with the time that each wants alone together and with the family. Markman’s team makes the point that sometimes couples find it difficult to move from their familiar techniques,

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and that there are different kinds of withdrawal. Some people will get up and leave the room. Some people are just emotionally not there. “Using the technique of ‘listen-hear’ allows you to really say what’s in your heart.” The team relates to the well-known problem of men and women communicating differently. “You’re not going to use all the skills,” they say, but they summarize: Do your part, decide to handle conflict as a team, focus on the great things in your relationship. Enjoy the fun, romance, sensuality, and mutual support. And be friends. The couple who argues over the mobile phone eventually reaches an understanding, and their love draws them closer. They agree that they need “sacred space, when other things don’t intrude.” The 450-page book includes clever illustrative cartoons and summary pages, exercises, and additional resources. I admit I’m still in the middle of reading it, and every page brings new information and discoveries. Prepinc.com offers information about where these techniques and workshops can be found in the U.S. Susan Barth is now tailoring the PREP program to Israel’s social and cultural norms so that I-PREP can be effectively adapted to Israeli couples at all stages of life. Susan Barth’s website, for those seeking information in Israel, is www. together-in-happiness.com.  Toby Klein Greenwald is an educational community theater director and the editor-inchief of WholeFamily.com.

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Pilloried With Hillary BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN One of the many downsides of a world that moves as quickly as ours is that many of us feel we must react to events in “real time” rather than after some research and thought. Leon Wieseltier once wisely remarked that the concept of such immediate reaction (he was speaking of blogs) is predicated on the ridiculous idea that our first

It didn’t help, of course, that a presidential election is looming. Republican candidates led the charge, claiming that the trio of (as they portrayed them) dastardly comments were just proof to their charge that the current administration hates Israel. The remarks Hillary Clinton reportedly made at a private gathering in Washington were indeed offensive. Ms. Clinton seemed to portray Isra-

The concept of such immediate reaction is predicated on the ridiculous idea that our first thoughts are our best thoughts. thoughts are our best thoughts. Reactions, in other words, are one animal; thoughtful judgments, an entirely different genus. Enough time has passed—I hope— for a measured, non-knee-jerk, objective look at events of several weeks ago that were very quickly reacted to by many in the Jewish world. The events comprised a trifecta of sorts of alleged anti-Israel sentiment: a speech by the U.S. Secretary of State; remarks by an American ambassador; and the U.S. Secretary of Defense’s response to a question.

el’s by-any-standard vibrant democracy as something less. (Let us pause to be thankful that she lost the 2008 Democratic primary.) And she waxed critical of what she perceived as discriminatory attitudes among religious Jews in Israel, evidencing a woeful ignorance of the difference between voluntary separation of the sexes and base discrimination. Those alleged comments yielded a torrent of well-earned chastisement, including a statement from Agudath

Continued on Page 54

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Pilloried Continued from Page 53 Israel of America expressing its “chagrin” and contending that Ms. Clinton “seems either unaware or unconcerned with the sincerely held and time-honored convictions of traditionally religious Jews.” The second of the lambasted, however, was a victim, not a violator. U.S. Ambassador to Belgium Howard Gutman had the unfortunate experience of being paraphrased by Yediot Achronot, a notoriously sloppy news organization. Speaking to the European Jewish Conference, Mr. Gutman, a proud Jew and the son of a Holocaust survivor, noted that while classical anti-Semitism— the sort characterized by accusations of well-poisoning and economy-manipulation—is not noticeably on the rise, a new sort of anti-Semitism, expressed in anti-Israelism, is. Yediot implied that Mr. Gutman was engaging in apologetics for the latter. The ambassador did note how such modern Jew-hatred can be fueled by Israel’s actions— something no one in his right mind would ever deny—but at no point did he do anything to remotely “justify” such animus, as he was accused of doing by a gaggle of Jewish organizations and writers (and Republican presidential candidates). They all relied on Yediot’s report, and on reports based on its reports, rather than taking the time to research what Mr. Gutman had actually said. The condemnations of Mr. Gutman were succinctly summarized by Holocaust scholar Michael Berenbaum, who knows a thing or two about anti-Semitism, as “an awful lot of nonsense.” Finally, there was the comment of U.S. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta. At the 2011 Saban Forum, an annual gathering of U.S. and Israeli officials, he was asked if he agreed with the contention that, for peace’s sake, Israel should withdraw from territories claimed by the Palestinians. His response was: “No, just get to the [goldarned] table.” (Mr. Panetta used a more explicit adjective.) He then repeated the sentence several times, making clear that his admonition was intended for both the Israeli government and the Palestinian leadership alike. Now one can easily make a case for the fact that Israel is entirely willing to sit down at the goldarned, or any, table, and that the Palestinians are, as usual, the obstacle to negotiations. But no one has ever accused Mr. Panetta of being unsupportive of Israel. No one could. And his venting of frustration over stalemated peace talks doesn’t change that a whit. And yet, Mr. Panetta and Mr. Gutman were pilloried along with Hillary by talking heads and tapping fingers, the threesome cast as a Treacherous Trio, their strings pulled, of course, by an evil wizard in the White House. It’s easy to rush to judgment. What’s less easy but more important is to recognize that factuality and fairness are high ideals, indeed deeply Jewish ones.  © 2011 Ami Magazine. Rabbi Shafran is an editor at large and columnist for Ami.

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Influencing The Departed The Afterlife BY DR. BERNIE KASTNER During the week that my wife was sitting shivah this past summer, I had an opportunity to listen to the many varied conversations that took place in our living room initiated by well-meaning visitors who came to provide a measure of comfort and a show of goodwill and respect for the deceased. Some of the topics went astray and had nothing to do with the deceased, while others recounted personal vignettes and general pleasant memories. A few stories stood out in my mind. There was the one told by M, who remembered that when she awoke from a sedated state after undergoing an operation about 30 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital, she was lying supine with her head tilted backwards. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw hanging on the wall directly above her bed was a Catholic symbol with the familiar image of the crucifixion. At that split moment she thought she had died and awoke in the afterlife. Jewish from birth, this woman was taken aback by the image and wondered what had happened to the religion within which she was brought up by her loving family. When she came to her full cognizance a few moments later, she was able to muster a nervous laugh and savored a good story for the grandchildren.

A number of people shared dreams they had regarding a departed parent who came back to them during sleep to deliver a message that everything is all right with them. I was reminded of the phenomenon of how the living can assist the deceased wherever they are in the after-

ty streak in their interpersonal relationships, or choose not to follow in the noble ways taught and encouraged by their (now deceased) parents, all this becomes a huge source of lament and frustration. So pervasive is the pain, that it prevents their souls from further ascent. So deep is the hurt, that even at this juncture in their continuum, they can opt to reincarnate in the form of another person in order to see if they

I was reminded of the phenomenon of how the living can assist the deceased wherever they are in the afterlife. life, and likewise how the deceased can help and influence those who are living. Parents who have left this world can attain a certain level of spirituality and ladder-climbing in the afterlife as a result of their own individual merits earned while living on Earth. You may find it surprising to note, however, that the souls of the dearly departed are capable of feeling pain, even in lower Gan Eden. The particular pain I am referring to is related to the actions of their descendants who were left behind in this life. If their sons and daughters live lives that are evil, or are imbued with a nas-

comitant merits even after departing from this life. Many of us have a tendency to follow the dictum “out of sight, out of mind.” That holds true for possessions as well as for people. Certainly this is not always the case, but after a loved one departs, and some time goes by, there may be a natural tendency to think that there isn’t anything else we can do for them. But as we just learned from the above examples, there is much we can, and ought to, do.  Dr. Bernie Kastner is a psychotherapist in private practice with offices in Jerusalem and Ramat Bet Shemesh. He is also the author of “Understanding the Afterlife in This Life” and “Masa El Haor.” Feel free to visit his website at drbkastner.com. He can be reached at bdk15@ caa.columbia.edu.

can somehow influence their children to change the errant path chosen. Looking at the other side of things, the souls of our dearly departed are influenced by what we do here. Saying Kaddish on a yahrzeit is a classic example of giving the neshamah an opportunity to be spiritually uplifted. But aside from that particular ritual, our everyday Torah learning and overall acts of chesed most certainly give a boost to the souls of departed parents. Much pleasure can be derived from witnessing from above as the next generation follows in their path. They continue to reap the fruits of their labor and con-

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5TJT Puzzle: 10 Teves BY YONI GLATT Across 1. Possible last month 5. Home 10. Uses a toothed tool 14. Thug 15. Exposer 16. Genesis troublemaker 17. “Writer” who passed away the day before 10 Teves 18. ___ Rose of legend 19. Simple 20. Lopez or Williams, e.g. 21. They sieged Jerusalem on 10 Teves 23. Speech pattern 25. Governor to Achashverosh 26. Out 28. The Torah being translated to this language is observed on 10 Teves 32. Make happy 37. Fairy tale foe, often 38. Aviv’s partner 41. He ordered the Torah translated into 28-Across 43. Joke 44. Blessing follower 46. White top, like a Teton 48. 10 Teves led to the eventual conquest of this kingdom 50. Risen 54. Part of the address for Murray and Abby 59. One who might receive charity

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Down 1. Plan 2. Some construction trucks, for short 3. Pertaining to a part of the heart 4. Genetic letters 5. Palindrome band 6. Puts up some security wire 7. Indian language 8. Gave out cards 9. Unwanted computer message 10. 2008 Ferrell film 11. On a cruise 12. Make like Paul Revere 13. Takes to beis din, perhaps 21. Bad word replacement 22. Bother 24. Information source 27. Benatar and Sajak 29. Seder need 30. Time 31. Beer barrel

Mesivta Bais Shmuel of Oceanside 2937 Oceanside Road Oceanside, NY 11572

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33. Heavy amount 34. UN department for workers 35. Not many 36. Org. spelled out in song 38. ___ Mahal 39. Aussie bird 40. First part of the “Stairway” band 42. Shows boredom 45. Yuckier 47. Spooky poet 49. That girl 51. Protective material

52. Most writers have one 53. Some stockings 55. Berries with an Arabic-sounding name 56. San Antonio tourist site 57. 10 Teves, unlike Yom Kippur 58. High wave (a bore) 60. Capable 61. College abbr. 62. Umpire call 63. Kidd and Erving, once 67. Everyone has one, but some are secret about them

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For appointments and applications, please call the Mesivta office at: 718.337.3446 HaRav Ari Moshe Leiser, Rosh HaYeshiva January 6, 2012

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES


YU Grad School Welcomes Cairo Geniza Scholar BY YAELLE FROHLICH The Bernard Revel Graduate School of Jewish Studies of Yeshiva University was delighted to host Dr. Mark R. Cohen, Princeton University’s Khedouri A. Zilkha professor of Jewish Civilization in the Near East, on Tuesday, November 8. The day’s events included a lunch for PhD students, a faculty dinner, and an evening lecture, which drew an audience of more than 60 students and faculty. Cohen, a well known historian of the Jews in Arab lands in the Middle Ages, is the author of over 100 articles and reviews and several books, including Jewish Self-Government in Medieval Egypt (the 1981 National Jewish Book Award winner for Jewish history) and Under Crescent and Cross: The Jews in the Middle Ages, which has been translated into Hebrew, Turkish, German, Arabic, French, and Romanian. He has received numerous academic fellowships, lectured widely in the U.S., Europe, Russia, Japan, Qatar, Egypt, and Israel, and in 2010 became the first winner of the Goldziher Prize for scholarship promoting better understanding between Jews and Muslims, awarded by Merrimack College’s Center for the Study of Jewish-Christian-Muslim Relations. Cohen’s evening lecture, titled “Law and Society in Maimonides’ Mishneh

Torah,” illuminated how certain commercial laws that were codified by Maimonides—and which perplexed later Talmudists—can be explained by looking at Cairo Geniza documents. The Geniza, with its thousands of intact Jewish writings from the tenth century and beyond, provides a window into the prevailing Jewish commercial practices of Maimonides’ time. Cohen has found that Jewish business practice was heavily influenced by conventions in Islamic commerce. The specific example Cohen chose to illustrate this point was Maimonides’ definition of “ben bayit” (literally, a member of one’s household), in his monumental code of Jewish law, Mishneh Torah. The great 12thcentury codifier defined the term as an individual not part of the actual household, who conducted business on behalf of the ba’al habayit (literally, head of household) “be-emunah” (with faith or trust). This system—as Cohen will prove in a forthcoming paper—reflected Islamic commercial practice, in which businessmen worked cooperatively, in a sort of informal reciprocal gift-giving relationship. This system of mutual favors (as opposed to formal commercial contracts) essential-

Continued on Page 59

Minyanim in the 5 Towns/Far Rockaway Area

MINCHA

12:45 @ Agudas Israel of Long Island (Sun) 1:00 @ Mercy Medical Center* 1:30 @ Cedarhurst Center @ Mesivta Chaim Shlomo (in Darchei Torah) @ Shor Yoshuv @ Yeshiva Beis Shmuel (2937 Oceanside) 1:35 @ Rabbi Katz (in Far Rockaway) 1:45 @ Learning Center (114 Spruce) @ Yeshiva Gedolah of 5 Towns 1:50 @ Yeshiva Mercaz HaTorah 2:00 @ 5 Towns Judaica @ Brachs @ Elite Caterers (M-Th.) @ Yeshiva of South Shore @ YI Lawrence Cedarhurst (Sun) @ YI Woodmere (Sun) 2:10 @ Mesivta Ateres Yaakov (131 Washington) 2:15 @ Yeshiva Far Rockaway 2:45 @ Agudas Israel of Long Island @ Kollel Avreichem (1204 B. 12) @ Yeshiva Far Rockaway @ Yeshiva Gedolah of 5 Towns @ Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh (2422 Bayswater) 3:00 @ Judaica Plus 3:15 @ Yeshiva Mercaz HaTorah 3:20 @ Mesivta Chaim Shlomo 3:35 @ DRS 4:15 @ Aish Kodesh 4:30 @ Yeshiva Bnai Torah

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* Mon.-Thur. ('Winter' zman) 1000 North Village Avenue, 2nd Floor- Jewish Chapel Rockville Centre, Long Island, NY, 11570 Mincha in the Young Israel of Far Rockaway is approximately 9 minutes after the previous Shabbos's candle lighting time followed by Maariv. Mincha at the Young Israel of Hewlett is 5 minutes after the previous Shabbos’s candle lighting time. Mincha at the Agudath Israel of the Five Towns is 15 minutes before sunset. Mincha at Rabbi Blumenkrantz’s Shul is 10 minutes before sunset Sun.-Thurs. followed by Maariv. Maariv at Ahavas Yisroel in Cedarhurst is 10 minutes after the previous Shabbos’s candle lighting time. Erev Shabbos Mincha at Yeshiva of Far Rockaway and Yeshiva Shor Yashuv is 1/2 hour after Chatzos

To add or modify a listing, please email: editor@5tjt.com

9:50 10:00

10:15 10:30 11:00 11:30 12:00

MAARIV

@ Learning Center (114 Spruce) @ YI Woodmere @ Shor Yoshuv @ YI Woodmere @ Mesivta Chaim Shlomo @ YI Woodmere @ Aish Kodesh @ Beis Avrohom Zeiv (Rabbi Gruber) @ Heichel Dovid in Lawrence @ White Shul (S-Th.) @ YI Woodmere @ Young Israel of Far Rockaway (S-Th.) @ YI Lawrence Cedarhurst @ Beis Hamidrash Harav @ Rabbi Blumenkrantz @ Yeshiva Far Rockaway @ YI Woodmere @ Cong. Beis Tefillah (Edward Ave.) @ Mesivta Chaim Shlomo @ Cong. Knesseth Meir (The Sand Castle) @ Rabbi Brown @ Shor Yoshuv @ YI Wavecrest and Bayswater @ YI Woodmere @ Agudas Israel of Long Island @ Shaaray Tefila @ Cong. Beth Shalom @ Heichel Dovid in Lawrence @ YI Woodmere @ Cong. Bais Yehuda Zvi (Red Shul) @ Mesivta Ateres Yaakov (131 Washington) @ Shor Yoshuv @ Spinka Shul (10-29 Bay 32nd St., Bayswater) @ Yeshiva Gedolah of 5 Towns @ Rabbi Blumenkrantz (M-Th.) @ Agudas Israel of Long Island @ Cong. Bais Medrash (Rabbi Speigel) @ DRS @ Yeshiva Bnai Torah @ Yeshiva Far Rockaway @ Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh (2422 Bayswater) @ Agudath Israel of 5 Towns @ Kollel Avreichem (1204 B. 12) @ Agudas Israel of Long Island @ Yeshiva Gedolah of 5 Towns @ Boston Beis Medrash @ Boston Beis Medrash @ Boston Beis Medrash

Solution To Last Week’s 5TJT Puzzle: At A Wedding 1

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Puzzle appeared on Page 38 of the December 30, 2011 issue.

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The Lesson Of Joseph From The Other Side Of The Bench BY DAVID J. SEIDEMANN, ESQ. I recently concluded teaching a course on nursing homes and the law. The thrust of the course was to impart knowledge to future nursing-home administrators regarding the necessity to be compliant with codes and other matters that shield nursing homes from liability. We all recently read a most dramatic portion of the Torah, when Joseph, the viceroy of Egypt, reveals himself to his brothers after many years of separation. He comforts them by telling them that while they might have had bad intentions when they sold him into slavery, G-d had it all planned out for the good. The end is often so much different from the beginning. ••• One night as she left the nursing home where she worked as a nurse, she noticed a thief attempting to steal a coworker’s vehicle in the parking lot. She confronted the would-be thief, who assaulted her and then dragged her for two blocks as she hung on to the car. Thirteen months and $2 million in medical bills later, she was released from the hospital. Although now back at work, she still suffers minor residual effects from the injuries sustained that evening. As she was injured while on the job,

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January 6, 2012

she appropriately filed a workers’ compensation claim. While the nursing home and its insurance carrier understood their obligations, the nursing home was charged a tremendous premium increase on its liability policy.

pensive camera system was installed. Fast-forward approximately a year. The nursing home was due for its routine inspection by the state agency, and the administrators were surprised to find that they were slapped for a violation that threatened their continued ability to operate the facility. Against all common sense as well as code, a nurse was found to have been smoking next to a patient on an oxygen ma-

A Catholic deacon said it didn’t seem that the rabbi was on the mark this time. “If the rabbi is correct on this one, I’ll convert.” In addition, the nursing home was advised that in order to maintain continued coverage, it would have to install a very expensive surveillance camera system covering not only the interior of the premises, but the exterior as well— including the parking lot where the nurse was attacked. The increase in premiums and the elaborate camera system was a tremendous financial strain on the home, but there really was no alternative. Failure to comply would result in termination of coverage, which would make operating the nursing home improper. The increased premiums were paid and the ex-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

chine. Such behavior not only warrants the immediate discharge of the nurse, but can impose liability on the facility itself. The home’s directors and administrators interviewed the alleged offender, who vehemently denied the charges. But the agency would not be dissuaded and actually moved to decertify the facility. In layman’s terms, that means that the home had to forgo reimbursement for all non-private-pay patients. With only nine private-pay patients, the home was in danger of closing down. The staff was maintained—over 125 people, I believe—to service nine pa-

tients. The facility was losing tens of thousands of dollars a day. With mounting pressure to close, the administrators sought counsel from a rabbi in Jerusalem, who assured them that while things looked bleak now, like in the times of Joseph the end can be very different from the beginning. He urged them to continue to press on and to further investigate the charges made against the nurse for smoking near the patient. Despite the rabbi’s assurances, the charges did not disappear, and a meeting was called where the topic of closing the facility was discussed. The administrator informed those assembled about his conversation with the rabbi and how the rabbi assured him that in the end the tide would turn. A Catholic deacon, who was one of the directors, relayed to those assembled that he wanted to believe the rabbi but it didn’t seem that the rabbi was on the mark this time. “If the rabbi is correct on this one, I’ll convert.” Yes, the rabbi was right, and, no, the deacon did not convert. We will give him a pass on that one. The nursing home was recertified, all of the patients have returned, and reimbursement is flowing once again. “How?” you ask. Remember the expensive surveillance cameras? The ones the facility was reluctant to install? The ones they thought would bankrupt them? After pinning the investigators down to a precise time and place where the infraction allegedly took place, the sur-

Continued on Page 62


Geniza Scholar Continued from Page 57

Photo by Judah S. Harris

ly allowed investors to circumvent any possible violations of the prohibition of charging interest—lest the profits they received as a result of their monetary investments (and other people’s work) constitute interest. Maimonides, argued Cohen, instituted an oath for the ben bayit to add a more formalized element to this informal business relationship which differed from the Talmudic method of avoiding interest-taking, known as iska. Studies such as this are part of the broader field of economic history. “There is a raging debate about the nature of cooperation, formal and informal, and it’s all based on Geniza documents,” said Cohen, who has been the director of the Princeton Geniza Project, an online database of transcriptions of documents from the Cairo Geniza, since 1986.

Dr. Mark Cohen lecturing at the Bernard Revel Graduate School

Although Maimonides was not the first to refer in halachic writings to business practices based on the surrounding Arabic culture, it was he, says Cohen, “who gave the practice halachic legitimacy in his code.” Maimonides’ innovation was in his synthesis of halacha and the reality of his time. “Rambam intertwines Islamic economy…with Talmudic agency,” said Cohen. “…[This] new territory, though unfamiliar to [later] Talmudists, was very familiar to Maimonides.” Furthermore, argued Cohen, Maimonides had a particular goal in reflecting the commercial reality in his Mishneh Torah. “By updating halacha,” said Cohen, “Rambam hoped to bring the merchants into halls of Jewish justice,” rather than have them resort to Islamic courts. The lecture was especially exciting for students enrolled in Dr. Debra Kaplan’s fall 2011 Revel course on “Charity in Medieval and Modern Times,” as the entire class recently read Cohen’s two most recent books, Poverty and Charity in the Jewish Community of Medieval Egypt and The Voice of the Poor in the Middle Ages: An Anthology of Documents from the Cairo Geniza (Princeton University Press, 2005), for their first paper assignment.  Yaelle Frohlich is currently completing a master’s degree in modern Jewish history and serving as student liaison at Revel. She served as editor-in-chief of the Stern College student newspaper, the YU Observer, from 2009 to 2010 and can be reached at yrfrohli@yu.edu.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

January 6, 2012

59


THE DISH By Elke Probkevitz

Make-And-Freeze Meals Providing a quality, healthy meal for your familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dinner each night can be challenging. The creativity and time that goes into coming up with something theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll eatâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good for themâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;every night is no small task. When you do have time to cook, double or triple your recipes and freeze them for another week. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be saving yourself time and energy with little effort. The key to make-ahead meals and freezing is knowing how to properly cook, cool, and reheat these dishes. Follow these guidelines and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a stocked freezer in no time. Cook thoroughly. Cook your dishes completely so that any bacteria are removed, just as you would when you are serving it that night. Make sure you follow the recipe and the food is cooked completely; donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t undercook so you can ďŹ nish cooking when you reheat. This poses risks of contamination from leftover bacteria. Cool properly. After food has been cooked, cool as quickly as possible. Do not leave at room temperature for too long, or bacteria can form. But if you place food that is too hot directly in the freezer, it can damage your freezer. Food that is not cooled properly can

be cool on the outside while still warm on the inside, leaving room for spoilage. Use ice baths to cool large pots of soup or meatballs more quickly. Dividing food into smaller, shallower containers will quicken the cooling process as well. Proper freezer storage. Nothing is worse that freezer burn to ruin all your hard work. To keep your food safe, wrap dishes tightly with freezer wrap or use freezer-safe bags. Make sure your containers do not let air in, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t overstuff the containers, either, as foods expand when they freeze. Always label your foods before you freeze them so you know what they are and when they were frozen. Leave cooked foods in the freezer for up to three months. Defrosting and reheating. You can defrost foods safely by leaving them in the refrigerator overnight so they lose the frost while staying cool. The microwave can also be used for defrosting, using the proper guidelines. Another option is to leave the sealed container under cold running water until the food is fully defrosted. Leaving foods at room temperature to defrost poses the risk of bacteria growing, so use one of the above methods instead. You can also just cook it right away by placing it in the oven

or on the stovetop without defrosting ďŹ rst. Make sure to bring food to a safe internal temperature of 165 degrees before serving. Choose the right kind of recipe. Choose recipes that are moist and have sauces, like casseroles, meatballs, lasagna, or soups. Make a double batch so you can have it for dinner that night and freeze it for another time. Baked goods like mufďŹ ns, cupcakes, and challahs can also be frozen and warmed up for a fresh-baked taste. ď ś

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For meatballs: 1 slice whole-wheat bread, crust removed 1 lb. ground turkey ½ cup grated carrot ½ cup chopped onion 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 tsp. fresh thyme, minced 1 egg ½ tsp. salt freshly ground pepper Directions: Heat oil in large pot over medium heat. Cook onions until translucent, then add garlic and cook 1 minute more. Add tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, oregano, and rosemary. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium low and cook 15 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. While sauce is cooking, preheat broiler and spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray. Put bread in a food processor and pulse until made into crumbs. Add turkey, carrots, onion, garlic, thyme, and egg; season with salt and pepper. Pulse till just combined. Form medium-sized balls and place on baking sheet. Broil for 10 minutes until brown and almost cooked through. Cook pasta according to package directions. Add fresh basil and meatballs to sauce and cook covered 10 minutes more until thickened. Drain pasta and toss with meatballs and sauce to serve.

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Other Side Of The Bench Continued from Page 58

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veillance tapes from that day were retrieved—and no such nurse, smoking no such cigarette, standing next to no such patient was found. The entire allegations were deemed to be a setup, the rabbi was correct, the facility continued and continues to operate profitably— and the deacon remained a deacon. But, most importantly, the message of Joseph was reaffirmed. We tend to give up at the first sight of defeat; it is the human condition. We rationalize the surrender to, “Well, it must be G-d’s will.” But the truth of the matter is that what is demanded from us is effort. Not only because effort builds character, but because as we have seen time and time again, from the pyramids in Egypt to nursing homes in America, the way it begins is not always an accurate forecast of the way it will end. We have seen time and time again that being sold as a slave does not preclude one’s becoming king. We have seen time and time again that even initial thoughts of malice can give birth to a life of reunification. We have seen time and time again that discord can lead to harmony. Looking forward and not backwards, finding the positive in the sea of negative, is all it takes. Easier said than done—but worth it. 

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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS TAG To Pay Tribute To R’ Amos Bunim At January 18 Dinner Some people are larger than life. This statement could aptly describe Rabbi Amos Bunim, z’l, whose petirah this year has impacted us all. It is difficult to find the proper adjectives to describe his love of Torah and humanity. His entire life was spent working for the k’lal. Whether for yeshivos, community organizations, or individuals, he was always in the forefront. Torah Academy for Girls has been a beneficiary of his immense devotion. It is safe to say there would probably not be a TAG if not for his mesirus nefesh, along with that of the other founders of the school. At last year’s dinner, TAG paid tribute to its founders, and there was no one more appropriate to accept the award on behalf of all of them than Rabbi Bunim. With his emotionally charged words, he painted a picture of what this community was like in the early 1960s, where the mere thought of an all-girls school was ridiculed and strongly opposed. Yet R’ Amos, together with his wife, Dr. Sarah Bunim, a’h, gathered some friends around their dining-room table and met the challenge of starting such a school with determina-

Rabbi Amos Bunim, z’l

tion, devotion, and high aspirations. Of course, R’ Amos, z’l, was no stranger to being an askan, an osek b’tzorchei tzibur. It was in his very DNA as he watched his impressive father, R’ Irving Bunim, z’l, work with the gedolim of his time to replant Torah in America. Rabbi Bunim, z’l, lovingly recalled his father’s greatness in his book, A Fire in His Soul, which inspired its many readers. His long association and support of Bais

Medrash Govoha in Lakewood spanned decades, and he had the z’chus of being close to many of their prominent roshei yeshiva. At the conclusion of shivah, the TAG high-school girls had an opportunity to hear from his daughter, Mrs. Mina Glick. Her words still reverberate as she described the simcha she witnessed in her home. The words “ivdu es Hashem b’simcha” were evident in all that her parents did. She described the freshness and excitement they exuded in performing mitzvos. His davening, for those who were fortunate to daven with him on the Yomim Noraim in Sh’or Yoshuv, left a mark on the hearts of other mispallelim and uplifted them. Such an immense loss is felt not only by his immediate family, his wife Lottie, daughters Rebecca and Mina and their families, as well this community, but by the whole world. R’ Amos Bunim’s world revolved around Torah, avodah, and gemilus chassadim, and his loss has left a deep void that we must take upon ourselves to fill. It is truly a privilege for the TAG family to be remembering a dear friend in this special memorial tribute to R’ Amos Bunim, z’l. Yehi zichro baruch.

Ganger Early Childhood Center Dedicated At TAG Mesorah is the stepping stone to the continuity of Am Yisrael and the chain that connects the generations. This important yesod is what propelled Yitzchok and Shani Ganger to come forward to dedicate the newly redecorated and expanded preschool wing of the To-

Joseph Ganger, z���l, and Margot Ganger

rah Academy in loving memory of their parents, Mr. Joseph Ganger, a’h, and Rabbi and Mrs. Aryeh Leib Newman, a’h. The preschool, which currently has close to 300 talmidos in 13 classrooms, is slated to open in September, iy’H, with 350 little girls in 15 classrooms. The recent completion of phase one of the expansion plan afforded TAG this opportunity to provide an early-childhood center that will cater exclusively to its youngest talmidos. Mr. Joseph Ganger and Rabbi and Mrs. Aryeh Leib Newman, a’h, were giants in living and transmitting the mesorah. Mr. Ganger was a talmid of the Tschebiner

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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 63 Yeshiva in prewar Europe and managed to escape together with the Mirrer Yeshiva to Shanghai, China. Mrs. Margot Ganger, shetichyah, was saved through the Kindertransport movement that ferried children from Eastern Europe to England. Currently residing in Queens, Mrs. Ganger has been privileged to see her generations flourish in the mesorah of their forefathers. Likewise, the Newman family, also Holocaust survivors, made sure that their mesoras avos was replanted with strong roots on these shores. After the war, this couple, she of a renowned Chassidic background, he a talmid of Rav Velvel Brisker, met and married. The mesorah of each of their backgrounds, she a descendant of the illustrious Gerer and Sololover dynasty, he a musmach of R’ Simcha Zelig of Brisk, grew to be a beautiful synthesis of two distinct legacies of Torah Yiddishkeit. As Shani Ganger recalls, “My life has been shaped in great part by stories of

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Rabbi and Mrs. Aryeh Leib Newman

the Churban, which were such an integral part of my youth.” Through all the trials and tribulations that her parents endured, the solid and strong emunah that her parents displayed on a daily basis had an enduring impact on Shani. Yitzchok Ganger, a successful businessman, feels that by supporting Torah he is strengthening the links of the

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past as well as ensuring the future. By dedicating the new early childhood center, the chain is strengthened, talmidah by talmidah, engendering tremendous z’chuyos for the neshamos of his father and in-laws, a’h. The Ganger family has always had a strong kesher with TAG. Daughters Ilana, Aviva, and Daniella all attended TAG. The high-school building campaign was chaired by Yitzchok Ganger and Yussie Ostreicher. Working together to benefit TAG, they formed a new partnership when Efram Ostreicher married Ilana Ganger, and now TAG is proud to count students Miriam and Raizy Ostreicher as the next generation’s links in the chain. It is also moving to see that between the Ganger and Newman families, there are currently ten great-granddaughters attending TAG, with two having already graduated. May the z’chus of the dedication of the Ganger Family Early Childhood Center engender an aliyah for these most worthy neshamos. May Yitzchok and Shani Ganger, as well as Mrs. Margot Ganger, be blessed with good health

to enjoy nachas, not only from their own precious grandchildren and great grandchildren, but from all the little kinderlach who will be benefitting from their mesiras nefesh to keep their mesoras avos alive for the future generations of K’lal Yisrael. 

Rabbi Eli Mansour At Yeshivas Nefesh Dovid Breakfast Reception, January 8 By Jonathan Kutner Yeshivas Nefesh Dovid in Toronto is the only full-time yeshiva high school in the world for young men with hearing loss. Many students who come find relief in being able to start from their own beginnings and dismantle the house of cards they have built around themselves. Anger and hopelessness are common among those with hearing loss, and Nefesh Dovid is in the unique position of being able to address these issues while dealing with boys who are highly intelligent. The rosh yeshivah does not profess to know all the answers or try to make his talmidim into people they are not. He works with what there is and helps each boy, one soul, one life at a time. The students respond beautifully and note that being in the yeshiva gives them a second chance at living, literally. Those wise parents who summon up the courage to send their sons are rewarded by watching their sons face the realities of their situations with grace and bitachon while excelling in their studies and developing excellent interpersonal skills. One young man describes how the yeshiva was the first institution that challenged him to bring out all his talents and excel, transforming his life. He also conveys his deep appreciation of the diverse composition of the school, with bachurim of different nuschaos and countries. The backbone of the yeshiva is the rosh hayeshiva, Rav Chaim Tzvi Kakon, who is hearing-challenged as well. Rav Kakon, by powerful example, gives strength to all of his talmidim and his devoted staff as well as all his supporters from Canada and abroad to believe that given the right tools, the hearingchallenged are capable of great achievements. Nefesh Dovid provides an excellent Judaic program with wonderful rebbeim who work to ensure the full growth of each talmid. A solid curriculum is provided, with an emphasis on the English-language skills and computer literacy so crucial to the job market. The program is recognized and approved by the Ministry of Education and based on the campus of the Yeshiva Gedolah of Toronto. The beauty of this is that boys are able to learn b’chavrusa with students from the Yeshiva Gedolah as well as join the beis midrash, davening, and meals. In this way, lifetime networks and friendships are forged. Talmidim come from the United States, Canada, Israel, France, and Europe, each with his own story. The boys come from various backgrounds and form a cohesive unit by which they grow. Graduates have gone on to yeshivos in Israel and the United States, university programs, trades, kollelim, to get married and raise families. They, in turn, have impacted their own communities


Mrs. Barbara Schwartz with HANC spelling-bee winner Elana Alyaszadeh and runner-up Kevin Lubin.

Rabbi Doniel Friedman reviewing with Nefesh Dovid students.

and have become strong role models for others. Nefesh Dovid has evolved from being “just a school” to being a lifesaving resource for hard-of-hearing people everywhere. Nefesh Dovid has taken its place as a source of life for Jewish communities the world over, a glowing light of beauty, unadulterated truth, and holiness within the darkness and challenges of today’s world. All those who come into contact with the rosh yeshiva and his devotion to his talmidim are able to take home a little bit of that chizuk and demand for excellence and make it a part of themselves. Due to the success of last year’s event, a breakfast reception is being held once again on behalf of Yeshivas Nefesh Dovid this coming Sunday, January 8, at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Yoni Kutner, 9 Harborview West in Lawrence at 10:00 a.m. Rabbi Eli Mansour will be speaking. There will be divrei berachah from Rabbi Kakon and an inspiring video presentation. To donate via Paypal or credit card, visit www.nefeshdovid.com. For more information, call 416-630-6220 or e-mail info@nefeshdovid.com. 

Students in the fourth to sixth grades also got excited about words by participating in the annual HANC spelling bee. The winner of each class’s spelling bee

competed in a schoolwide competition on December 30. “Words are the cornerstone of how we express ourselves, both in written and verbal form, so it’s great to see students excited about learning to spell words and understand their meaning,” explained Mrs. Barbara Schwartz, fourth-grade teacher. Sixthgrader Elana Alyaszadeh won the competition with the word “frequently.” It was a tough battle until the end, and

HANC congratulates Elana and the runner-up, sixth-grader Kevin Lubin. Loving Ping-Pong. As we spun the deidel and lit the candles, 13-year-old Akiva Ackerman of West Hempstead was also spinning Ping-Pong balls and lighting up the Virginia Beach convention center, winning the U.S. National Table Tennis Championships in the un-

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Pursuing Passions At HANC Loving words. Students in grades 4–6 at HANC’s Samuel and Elizabeth Bass Golding Elementary School in West Hempstead participated in the inaugural mother-daughter book club. Mothers and daughters enjoyed reading and discussing Breakaway, by Andrea Montalbano, a book about a girl who learns what it means to be a good friend and part of a team. “Having mothers and daughters read together is a wonderful way to get students excited about reading,” explained HANC librarian Mrs. Marjorie Shuster.

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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 65 der-1800 rating event held December 13– 17. This was the first time in the 36-year

phy, and medal. He also attempted to make the U.S. junior and cadet boys teams, but lost both times in the initial stage. His sister Estee, a fifth-grader at HANC West Hempstead, competed in

Talmidim enjoying the Chanukah mesibah at MAY

The Ackermans at the Table Tennis Championships in Virginia Beach

history of this prestigious tournament that a yeshiva/Orthodox player has won any kind of event here. Ackerman, an eighth-grade student at the Hebrew Academy of Nassau County in Uniondale, competed against 116 other players in a round-robin format before advancing to single elimination. There, he won both the semifinal and final match 3–0 in games. For his efforts he received a cash prize, an award certificate, tro-

five events, finishing with a match record of 6–7, but defeated a few players above her rating. The Ackermans were hosted by Cong. B’nai Israel of Norfolk, Virginia. 

Special Events For MAY Eitan Katz at Chanukah Mesibah. On V’zos Chanukah, the last day of Chanukah, Mesivta Ateres Yaakov held its annual Chanukah Mesibah. True to its

hashkafah and derech, the event combined serious limud haTorah with ruachfilled, student-centered activities that elevated their neshamos with joy. The schoolwide mesibah was just the final celebration after a week of individual class celebrations in more intimate settings with their rebbeim at their homes. Following a morning filled with learning, the yeshiva’s nearly 200 talmidim came together for a special buffet lunch and an inspiring Chanukah dvar Torah by senior Aryeh Eckhaus. The young men then eagerly competed with each other in an entertaining and challenging game of “Chanukah Wheel of Torah,” which was created and directed by Rabbi Shlomo Drebin, MAY’s director of extracurricular programming. The

competition challenged the boys’ Chanukah knowledge in areas of halachah, tefillah, and hashkafah. The enthusiasm was palpable, and tension rose as freshmen and sophomores challenged the older juniors and seniors. When the dust settled, the tenth grade class, led by class representative Azi Langer, emerged victorious and will enjoy a free breakfast during the school’s upcoming annual ski trip as their reward. However, the excitement and fun was only just beginning! The popular star entertainer Eitan Katz, accompanied on the keyboard by Ari Lampert, led the MAY talmidim in an amazing kumzits concert. What ensued was

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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 67 an”‘electrifying” event. The walls were shaking, the ground began to tremble, and the tables and chairs rattled as Katz led the boys through a series of stimulating and leibadik songs. The sight of all of the talmidim dancing in great simchah together with their rebbeim was inspiring to all onlookers and was a fitting climax to such a spiritually charged chag. After witnessing and experiencing the event, a participant was heard saying, “The Greeks definitely lost. We won. We won in a very big way!”

Dr. Yossie and Mrs. Renee Jeret

Jerets to be honored at upcoming dinner. On February 21, at Congregation Kneseth Israel (the White Shul), Dr. Yossie and Renee Jeret will be the guests of honor at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov’s ninth annual dinner. Renee and Yossie are well-known and respected in their home community of Lawrence where they have resided for 19 years.

BS”D

Rabbi Dovid Weinberger’s Alter of Slabodka Mussar Vaad Has Returned!! This is a unique chance for men to hear directly from our Rov on topics that touch on the weekly parsha and fundamentals of emunah and bitachon. This a very special opportunity to understand one of the greatest mussar personalities come alive with valuable insights into our purpose in the world and important perspectives on everyday living. We encourage all to attend!!

Sunday mornings at 9:45am Congregation Shaaray Tefila In memory of Levi Yitzchak ben HaRav Avraham Elimelech a”h

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They have been members of Congregation Shaaray Tefila for 20 years and were founding members of Bais Medrash of Harborview. They were guests of honor at the annual TAG dinner in 2000 and continue to support that institution. Over the years, the Jerets have opened their home and hearts to Ohel foster children as young as 18 months. They have provided a haven filled with warmth and love for children suffering from abuse and neglect. They served as chairpersons of the 2011 annual Ohel dinner, and the Ohel Simcha Fund is named in memory of Yossie’s mother. They are always prepared to warmly receive guests, who are treated to a culinary delight thanks in part to Renee’s expert cake creations. Yossie (Joseph S. Jeret, MD, FAAN) attended Mirrer Yeshiva high school and beis medrash, the Yeshiva Birkas Reuven semichah program, Brooklyn College, and Downstate Medical School. He is a board-certified neurologist and has maintained a well-known private practice in Rockville Centre for over 19 years. He is a member of the MAY board of directors, gabbai at Bais Medrash of Harborview, and weekday ba’al koreh at Congregation Shaaray Tefila. He has been a steady member of the hilchos Shabbos shiur with Rabbi Kalish for the past 15 years and involved in the community-wide maos chittim appeal for the past number of years. Renee (neé Engelstein) Jeret grew up in Far Rockaway where she davened for 20 years at the White Shul. She at-

er h t ei st. e r s a O c o ired! e c rvi t or N requ e e lS s Al w co ranc L o insu No

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BS”D

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To make an appointment for yourself or a loved one or for more information please call

347-766-2170 (ask for Sue) or email dsgarry@msn.com.


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SERVICES PROVIDED

HELP WANTED

Your wig collecting dust is worth cash in Chicago while helping kallahs, cancer patients and many others who can’t afford one. Call 877-279-0295 or Lindashats@gmail.com Entertainment — Parties With Devorah, Bat/Bar Mitzvah, Birthdays, D.J. M.C., dancer. Music, dancing, games. Never A Dull Moment. Prof. equipment. Reasonable Prices. 917-520-0630, danzmom@gmail.com Experienced Rebbe available to learn any limudei kodesh subject with you or your son. References available. 917-842-2587, PrivateRebbe@gmail.com Gemach special for simcha. We provide for you excellent speaker plus MP3 full of Jewish music, plus excellent mike system. Call 718-600-4559 Beautiful business-size cards with Kiruv websites, are available for free (to give to not-yet-Frum people). Please text or call 718-501-2110 “Used or Abused” Before you buy a used car, come in for a free frame (structural) check. Precision Auto Body 691 Burnside Ave, Lawrence. 516-371-1137. Friends don’t let friends drive junk! Boro Park Ladies & Children Coat Gemach accepting gently used coats in excellent condition. Woodmere drop-off. 718-972-3699 Simchas Naava Share your simcha flowers! Be m’sameach other simchas! Donate your fresh flower arrangements! We will match your simcha date with simchas following yours or deliver them to nursing home residents. To donate or obtain flower arrangements call 516-2396066 In memory of a special friend, Naava Wassner Katlowitz

Small beginners Siddurim, and Shabbos guidebooks, both in Russian, are available for you to distribute. Please call Tashbar Publications at 718-4389025 (leave message with address, IY”H we will mail them to you for free.) Help Kosiner Bikur Cholim maintain their apartments near Manhattan hospitals. Sponsor a Shabbos as a z’chus. Donations accepted. Tax deductible. 347-924-4205 New Table and Chair Gemach for shortterm simchas. 740 Mador Ct., Far Rockaway. Call 718-471-0368 G’Mach Chasdei Yisroel — Lending money to people in Klei Kodesh & for Klei Kodesh purposes. In the Far RockawayFive Towns area. Please call 917-822-9910 for more info. Or email shaimag@gmail.com. In Memory of R’ Yisroel Ben Binyamin, a”h.

Personal Chavrusa available for learning and growing understanding the beauty of our Torah. Experience of many years in delivering shiurim to Baalei Batim and all those interested in learning. Reasonable hourly rate. This is a project of Kollel Tiferes Avos. Call 718- 316-3874 or call Rabbi Dov Bressler 718- 327-8903. (Payments are tax deductible.) Retired public school teacher available to tutor men and boys in Hebrew, English, and/or Yiddish in the 5 Towns. Recession buster. Call 718-552-5525 Study with Steve. One-on-one tutoring. SAT Math prep, regents, high school and elementary math, high school physics. Call 516-371-5522 SBG Moving — Prompt, professional, and reliable moving service available for local & long distance moves. Lowest rates between NY and Lakewood. Small jobs welcome! We are insured! 347-276-7422 Menadvim — Furniture and Appliances. Like new to Donate and Receive. Call 718-MEN-ADVIm (718-636-2384) We deliver. Boro Park Ladies Hat Gemach accepting hats in excellent condition. Woodmere drop-off. 718-972-3699

HELP WANTED Salesperson wanted for established printing company in Queens. Salary + commission. Please call Abe 917-652-9679, leave message.

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Office Administrative Support —Part time Five Towns mid-size Yeshiva high school seeks an energetic, responsible, innovative, self-starting individual to provide office and clerical support, including data entry, collections follow-up, filing, and related tasks. Must be reliable and detail-oriented, able to work independently with minimal supervision, experienced using MS Word and MS Excel. Experience using Quickbooks or InfoGrasp a plus. Flexible hours. Salary range $10-12 per hour depending on skills and experience. E-mail resume and references to applyay@gmail.com Direct Care: Counselors needed to work part/full time with frum women and girls with developmental disabilities in Brooklyn. Weekdays 3-10pm, Shabbos & Sunday. BrooklynJobs2011@gmail.com Looking for 9th grade (p/t) English teacher (4:30pm – 6:00 pm, Mon.-Thurs.) for the Spring semester. Send resumes to gkirshenbaum@drshalb.org Petsitter needed, one or both pets, 12 days, for frum NYC family vacationing in Israel. Excellent opportunity for your kids! Family friendly pets! Call 347-564-3460 Bais Yaakov Academy of Queens is looking for an experienced Executive/Administrative Director. Responsibilities include overseeing the business office, fundraising (including organizing the annual dinner), government and grant programs, budgeting, acting as liaison to school’s parent body and organization of school functions. The position also involves supervision of building maintenance and the dining hall (including kitchen staff and lunch programs). Please send your resume to byqsearch@gmail.com Physical therapy office looking for Physical therapy assistant (PT/FT) in Five Towns. If interested please call 516-650-5756 Yeshiva seeking middle school General Studies teacher for ‘11-’12 school year. M-Th from 2:00- 4:30. Please send your resume to teachersearch11@gmail.com

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Woodmere — New Construction Classic 5BR c/h col. Large property. Walk to YI of Woodmere and Aish . . $1M+ Old Woodmere — 3BR Colonial Charming on oversized property great block, walk to new shul. Woodmere — Open House 9 Harvard Road — 12-2 PM Newly constructed, 6BR col. Grand 2 story entry foyer, custom kitchen, marble bath, radiant heat, every amenity. Must see! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1M+ Hewlett Neck — New construction located on spectacular 1/2 acre lot. 6BR, 2-story entrance foyer, 9’ ceiling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1M+ Hewlett Neck — 1/2 acre, buildable lot, for sale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$750K South Shore Estates 516-569-4980

Inwood — New to market. Charming Victorian on quiet tree-lined street with water view. 7BR, great for large family. A must see! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $499K 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710

Woodmere Academy Area — Center Hall Colonial just completely Gut Renovated, Everything New!! 5 BR all on one level (two brand new just built), 3.5 New Baths, New Kitchen, den, finished basement, new windows, new roof, gas heat, central air, fireplace, beautiful property. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $849,000 By owner 516-445-9456 North Woodmere — Split, Water view . . . .$569K 4BR, 2.5bth, c/a, SD#14, brick walled den/ working fplce, park-like backyard setting on water, 2-car garage, in-ground sprinklers, full bsmt, taxes approx. 11,800/yr, oversized 60’x120’ lot. By appt. Bank/ mtge prequel ltr req’d. No brokers. 516-857-4733 Kew Gardens Hills — Beautiful, spacious 2BR garden apt. Updated kitchen, bth. W/D, c/ac, close to shul and transportation. Many extras. Call 718-309-9320 Cedarhurst — New construction. First show. Col. 9’ ceilings, 5BR, 2.5bths, full basement, on quiet tree-lined street. Call for details . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$799K 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Cedarhurst — Legal 2 family brick, all new, spacious, LR with fireplace, FDR, large kosher EIK, 3BR each apt, c/ac, new roof and gas heat. Each apt has w/d. Alarm, basement, great location, walk all . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$739K 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Hewlett — Beautiful 5 BR, 3 bths, split. All updated, in SD#14. Separate entrance can be M/D with proper permits. Owner motivated, reduced. $499K 5 Towns Home Realty 516-569-5710 Lawrence — Ours Alone!! Brick, C/H COL, Stately brick, w/ old world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 bths, Kosher EIK, Lg. FDR, Library, Fin. Bsmt., Lg Prop., walk all. 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth Lr/Dr, Walk to All . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $179K Call 516-322-3555 Woodmere Colonial For Sale 6 BR 3.5 Bath Col. Master suite w/ bath. Fin. Bsmt, BR, bath + more. Granite Kitch, all new appliances, Den with skylt, Fireplace, formal DR, A Gem! $649K 516-569-1684 Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space parking, 2 family, professional use, accountant, Esq., medical and/or educational and religious uses. Grand colonial with charm and great possibilities. Available at once . $875K Negotiable. Owner 516-322-3555 5 Town Homes 516-569-5712 Cedarhurst: NU 2 Mkt. Lg LR, DR, EIK, Den, 5BR, 3bth, Skilits, Cabana, Lg prop, IGPool, Walk to all . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $659K Cedarhurst — Co-op. 1st Flr, large LR, FDR, EIK with new appliances, 2BR, 2bths, hw floors, Terrace. Views of Gdns, W/D, Lo maint, Grt. loca’n, Walk all. Asking $319K or rent 5 Town Homes 516-569-5710 North Woodmere —Spacious Updated Woodmere 400. 11 rooms, 5BR, 2.5bth, EIK kosher, FDR, Den, Fireplace, Finished Basement, Office, New Roof, SD#15, 2-Car Garage, All-Sys. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $735,000 Owner 516-717-8723 Oceanside — Brand new construction. Beautiful CH col. Large 4 BR (1 level), 2.5 bths, granite EIK, FDR, den with fp, full bsmt, in cul-de-sac, walk all, best price . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $675K 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710

Five Towns — Woodmere, Church Avenue Completely renovated CH colonial in 2004/05. Hardwood floors throughout. 8BR, 5 full baths, custom kosher EIK, stainless steel appliances, FDR, home office, full finished basement, kids’ game room & home gym and so much more. Asking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.5M For more information & virtual tour visit www.abcwoodmerehouse.com. Call 516-640-8646, or e-mail moshry@hotmail.com Lawrence/Far Rockaway — Co-op Freshly painted large 2BR, 2bth, kosher kitchen, LR, FDR, terrace, 24-hour doorman, Shabbos elevator. Walk all. . .$279K 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 North Woodmere — Decorator’s Dream. Beautiful bi-level, large granite kosher EIK, FDR, large LR, den, 4BR, waterview, all systems, walk all shuls. Owner motivated. Present all offers. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 North Woodmere — New to market. Custom 6BR (4 on one level), new granite kitchen, LR, FDR, 2 dens, quiet treelined street. Walk all shuls. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $679K Owner. 516-902-8908 Lawrence/Far Rockaway — 833 Central Ave. Spacious 1 BR, light and bright, doorman/elevator building, walk all. Price reduced . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$179K 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Lawrence — Gracious brick c/h col. LR with fireplace, FDR, large EIK, den, 4BR (1 level), 3bth, finished basement, great location, quiet block . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $895K 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710

FOR SALE Wood Kingdom redwood playset (huge slide, inclined ramp, rock climbing wall, three ladders, three swings (1 Rotary, 1 linear, & 1 pogo) playhouse at top. Original cost $7,000, five years old, sell for $2,500. Flushing, Queens. Must Arrange For Move Independently. Great Condition. Call 718-776-7439 or e-mail otlaw@juno.com if interested. Elegant Chippendale Dining Room Set 8’x4 table w/ two 2’ leaves, 6 side & 2 arm chairs + many extras. Can e-mail pics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3200 917-837-4999 A Steal!

FOR RENT Far Rockaway — Neilson & Cornaga. Large 1BR apts available in beautiful elevator building, nice tenancy. Laundry in building. Asking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$1200 neg. 718-692-2525 ext. 211 Far Rockaway — Off street parking, yard, storage. Renovated! 3BR, New EIK, hardwood floors . . . . . . . . . . . .$1625 neg. Lower Level, 2/3BR, 2bths, possible offices, w/d$1425 w/ utilities. 203-387-9991 Cedarhurst — First show. Spacious 5BR, 3bth, LR, FDR, large kosher EIK, huge den, c/ac, in prime location, walk all. Furnished or unfurnished . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,000 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Cedarhurst — 2BR, 2bths, first floor, garden apt, LR, DR, EIK, terrace, prime location. Heat and water included 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710

Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. $729K 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555

Lawrence — Coop Rental. 1BR. 1NU Bth, LR, DR, EIK $1,300 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710

Far Rockaway — 2 Family. All NU, 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great Location . . . .$599K Call 516-322-3555

Cedarhurst — Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. Oversized 1BR, 1Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk incld . . . . . . . . . . $1,600 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710

Howard Beach — Co-op 2BR, 2bth, totally renovated. Maintenance includes gas, electric, heat and parking space. Great buy. Asking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$150K 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Cedarhurst — First show. LR, FDR, new EIK, 4BR, 2 new bths, finished basement, cream puff condition, quiet street, walk all, low taxes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500’s 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710

Far Rockaway — Large, bright 3BR, 1.5bths apt in 2-family house. Great location off Reads Lane. Includes heat and parking. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. Call 516-322-3555

FOR RENT Hewlett — House for rent. Updated 3BR, 2bths, new EIK, SD#14, walk all. Available immediately . . . $2,600 Call 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Lawrence — Newly-restored manor house. Cent’l location. Hi Ceilings. Wd Floors. 4 large BR, Library, FDR, EIK, Den. New chef’s kitchen . . $4,250 516-316-3176 Cedarhurst — All updated charming Col. New granite EIK, FDR, LR with fireplace, 4+ BR, CAC, in the heart of Cedarhurst. Walk all. Call 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710

VACATION RENTAL Vacation Village 2 fl, 4 BR, LR, 3 new bth, playrm, WD, beautiful view. 516-967-8370 Alexander Hotel, Miami Beach — 2BR apt. Breathtaking views, 2bths, southern exposure, 10th floor. Available for Pesach. Priced right! 516-581-2058, 516-374-4001

COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE Income Producing Shopping Center for Sale in Sullivan County 100% Leased  with Long Term Leases In Place & Additional Air Rights Available $1,900,000- 9.7% CAP Contact Yosef Katz @ 212-837-4629 or ykatz@gficap.com Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq. ft., fully wired for Web, partitioned, will divide. Call 516-322-3555 Cedarhurst — Office rental: Executive 2 Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555

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Cedarhurst office for rent— 2 small offices on Central Ave. 1 flight up, C/H, C/A. Call owner 917-417-5725

MISCELLANEOUS Helping poor brides is a big z’chus to find a shidduch! Donate to Yad P’sucha Hachnasas Kallah. Call 718-9723699 Yeshiva of South Shore has some membership openings in its burial society. By purchasing an individual, couple or family membership, you will be ensured of select plots in one of several New York area cemeteries of your choosing. For more information on burial society membership, contact Eliezer Allman at 347-417-3777 or ezerman@msn.com The Ocean Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a New Career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance. Financial Aid available for those who qualify. 1-800-321-0298 Wants To purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

Deadline for Classified Advertising in the next issue is Monday, January 9, at 5:00 PM Call 516-569-0502

Your Real Estate, Service, or Help Wanted Ad Here Every Thursday 100,000 readers look forward to what’s happening in the 5 Towns by reading The Five Towns Jewish Times. Deadline is Monday at 5:00 p.m.

1 Week . . . . . . . . . . $35 2 Weeks . . . . . . . . . $60 4 Weeks . . . . . . . . $100 Weekly Ads of up to 25 words

Call: 516-569-0502 Fax: 516-977-0608 Or E-mail ads to: 5TJTads@gmail.com Include payment info. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

January 6, 2012

71


Mark Lipner

SOUTH SHORE ESTATES

Direct:516-298-8457

sales & development • 516-569-4980

Office:516-295-3000 Email: mlipner@pugatch.com

www.marklipner.com

MUST

WOODSBURGH

N. WOODMERE

WOODMERE

OPEN HOUSE 1/8/12 12-1:30pm 4BR CH Col, Over 1/2 Acre, Huge MBR Ste, All Amenities..$1.203M

OPEN HOUSE 1/8/12 2-3:30pm Move Right In, 4BR Split, Fin Bsmt, New Windows,Alarm..$599K

OPEN HOUSE 1/8/12 12-1:30pm 3BR, 1.5 Bath Ranch, Location, Location, Location..$399K

WOODMERE

N. WOODMERE

LAWRENCE

OPEN HOUSE 1/8/12 2-3:30pm Desirable 4BR Split Level Home,Oversized Ppty,CAC..$499K

OPEN HOUSE 1/8/12 12-1:30pm 4BR, 3 Bath Split, Den, Playrm, 4 Bedrm On One Level..$499K

OPEN HOUSE 1/8/12 By Appointment Lg 1BR, 1.5 Bath Apt, Elevator,24Drmn Bldg,

WOODMERE

Laundry On Flr..$369K

WOODMERE

CEDARHURST

Open House 1/8 - By Apt

Open House 1/8 -By Apt Open House 1/8 - By Apt Just Listed! 2BR 2 Bath 5BR, 5 Bath Colonial, 2 BR, 2 Bath Co-op, Co-op, Elevator Bldg, Master Ste W/Jacuzzi, Eik,W/D In Apt..$299K CAC,Radiant Heat..$1.195M Top Flr,Close To All..$215K Also For Rent..$2200/m

516-512-3862

516-239-0306

WOODMERE RE

CEDARHURST

OPEN HOUSE Sun Jan 8TH 3-4p.m 1039 MAGNOLIA PL

OPEN HOUSE

Sun Jan 8TH

By Appt 485 COURT AVE

Charming colonial on Country St. New roof, finished bsmnt, near park and shopping. Great Starter Home!

$369K

Wide Line 5 Bdrm Split On Beautiful Cul-De-Sac, Den, Full Bsmnt , Just Painted, New Roof, New Windows, Hrdwd Flrs Thruout Fully Alarmed Sd#14

$890K

WOODMERE

WOODMERE

OPEN HOUSE

Sun Jan 8TH

By Appt 765 ARBUCKLE AVE

OPEN HOUSE

Sun Jan 8TH

12-1pm 552 DERBY AVE

Mint split colonial w/ dramatic FLR, FDR. Main level den, Large EIK, MBR suite plus 3BR, CAC, 2 Car Garage

$600’s

New Const. 5 bdrm contemporary col with dble height ceilings and windows btfl open space w/ water views.

$900’s

LAWRENCE

WOODMERE OPEN HOUSE Sun Jan 8TH

OPEN HOUSE Sun Jan 8TH By Appt

New Grand Brick C/H Col With Flr/Fpl Banquet Fdnr Lg Kosher Eik With Great Rm, Library/Den, Mbr Suite With Nursery/Office And Luxurious Bth+ 5 Bdrms, Finished Bsmnt,

$1.495M

72

12-1:30pm 1033 DARTMOUTH LN

Newly listed, one of a kind expanded high ranch 4 bedrooms on 1 level, 2 dens, priced to sell!

$500’s

www.Milkyforstproperties.com

January 6, 2012

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

!

SEE!!

OPEN HOUSE SUN JAN 8 By Appt

OPEN HOUSE SUN JAN 8 By Appt

UE

T VAL GREA

D VATE ENO

LLY R TOTA

OPEN HOUSE SUN JAN 8 By Appt

OPEN HOUSE SUN JAN 8 By Appt

$699’s

OPEN HOUSE SUN JAN 8 By Appt "New Construction" Two minute walk to shul. Classic 6 Bdrm/4.5 Bath. Center hall colonial. Fabulous entry foyer. Nine foot ceilings. LR with fireplace. Large formal DR. Huge kosher EIK. Top of the line. Must see. Call Susan for details. Walk to Young Israel and Aish. Come view the plans and specifications. $1M+

OPEN HOUSE SUN JAN 8 By Appt

"New Construction" Walk to new Irving Place Shul. Classic custom built new constructions. Grand two story entry foyer. Nine foot ceilings. Huge open flow. Full Bsmt. Built on half acre property. Too much to mention. See the plans & specifications. Call for appt to see the finished product. $1M+

CALL SUSAN HOLLANDER AT SOUTH SHORE ESTATES INC. TO VIEW THESE PROPERTIES AND MORE...


AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 68 tended TAG High School and Queens College, earning a master’s degree in audiology. After a decade in practice, she retired to devote her time to her family. Her creative interests are expressed through her work as the “Cake Doctor.” Renee has written about choosing a mesivta in the Five Towns Jewish Times and helped MAY prepare literature for its annual open house. She also helped inaugurate the annual MAY Chinese auction and has spearheaded this huge undertaking again this year. The Jerets are proud parents of three children who have distinguished themselves as exemplary foster siblings and been inculcated into acts of chesed and kindness. Shulamit graduated TAG elementary and high school, attended Stern College, and will be receiving a BA with honors in mathematics from Queens College in May 2012, after which she will be pursuing a career in speech therapy. She also is a volunteer in Friendship Circle. Allysa attended TAG elementary school, SKA high school, Midereshet Tehila, and currently attends Queens College (Class of 2013). She is a respected lifeguard and private swimming instructor, published poet, and award-winning photographer. She hopes to combine these talents in an advertising career. Meir is a junior at MAY, where he has been an annual member of the Arista Honor Society, school pingpong champion for the past three years, and hockey goalie extraordinaire.

Annual Bikur Cholim Brunch Held At White Shul By Sara Fuchs What does one do if they can’t afford medical care? Who will prepare the meals in a home when the mother is having a medical crisis? What will a frail old woman do if she needs to see a specialist in the city? How can a shutin obtain the life-sustaining social interaction that he needs? Where can one borrow a wheelchair or other medical equipment for a visiting relative? The simple answer to all of these queries is the Bikur Cholim of Far Rockaway and the Five Towns. They have been servicing our local community for several decades. The annual Bikur Cholim brunch, chaired by Marilyn Wolowitz, Tzippy David, and Esther Feigenbaum, is attended by hundreds of women. This year’s brunch took place on Sunday, December 18, at Congregation Kneseth Israel (The White Shul). The guest speaker was Rebbetzin Yael Kaisman, noted lecturer and mechaneches. There was good company, delicious food, and beautiful door prizes. This year’s Tehillim recipients were Mrs. Chanie Drillman, Mrs. Rina Schachter, and Mrs. Rochel Stern—who accepted the award

Chofetz Chaim Torah Center Under the Leadership of Rav Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, t"yhka is proud to invite the Men and Women in the Cedarhurst/Woodmere Community to a special and important shiur on the timely topic given by

R a b b i D o c t o r A a r o n G l a t t , t"yhka Assistant Rov, Cong. Anshei Chesed Assistant to the Rabbi, Y.I. of Woodmere Executive Vice President & Chief Administrative Officer, Mercy Medical Center, Rockville Centre, NY Internationally Recognized Senior Infectious Disease Physician

“Death with Halachic Dignity” “A Scientific and Halachic Analysis”

To Be Given On

Date: December 7th — .en ,Jrp vfUbj ,cJ

Shabbos Parshas Vayechi January 7, 2012 at 4:35 PM (Mincha at 4:20 PM)

Ma’ariv to follow at 5:29 PM Chofetz Chaim Torah Center 7 Derby Avenue Cedarhurst

Men & Women Invited

(516) 295-7644

Continued on Page 74

with challenges as they come up.” Sessions focus on the depth and breadth of the subject of tznius as an integrated attitude on life, rather than a list of negatives.

A

group of neighborhood women sit around a dining room table graced with light refreshments. There is the easy camaraderie of friends about them as they casually speak. A great discussion ensues and the give and take creates an almost palpable excitement. A broad horizon unfolds in front of their eyes as each woman gives over her own insight, creating unity of spirit - the Peninim support group. “Joining a group made me realize how uniquely individual tznius is for each woman,” says Chanie, an appreciative member. Leah agrees: “I had always thought that tznius puts you into a cookie-cutter mold. You know, everyone has to wear exactly the same type of clothes… But at a Peninim session, I started to realize how the full scope of tznius actually allows you to express yourself as an individual, and, rather than being locked into just following fashion blindly, like a sheep, I am empowered to make choices that reflect who I really am inside.”

The Jeret family has boundless hakaras hatov to Rabbi Yaffe, Rabbi Rudansky, the rebbeim, and the general studies teachers at MAY. With great humility, they agreed to accept an honor at this year’s dinner in the spirit of reciprocity. 

Each session ends off with an upbeat message of encouragement. “It adds tremendous meaning and satisfaction to the things we do every day,” says Chaya. “It really gives me chizuk and helps me feel that I can persevere.” This tremendously positive response to the group experience is something that in turn pushes Peninim onward. Surely, Hashem derives great pleasure as we come together to grow closer to Him.

...I am empowered to make choices that reflect who I really am inside.

In Peninim, women of all ages have found a place where they can comfortably work through crucial issues that affect them all. Among friends, they gain strength from one another’s insights. You, too, can be part of this incredibly enriching program. Pull up a chair and find your seat at the table for an extremely rewarding experience. Your Friends. Your Choice. Your Pace .

Today, the outside world and its philosophies creep closer and closer to the doorsteps of our homes. It can be hard to shield ourself from the influences of a world that has turned upside down. In the warm, convivial atmosphere of a Peninim group, members appreciate the opportunity to explore and discuss today’s issues, using the original, multi-faceted material that the program provides.

How does a Peninim session run? An inspirational, audio message starts each session and sets the mood. This is followed by reading together from a sefer according to a designated schedule. The spotlight challenges and invigorates the group with its contemporary focus on today’s issues and how they affect us. This leads to animated discussions with ideas shared all around. “Talking through these issues one by one with the group really makes me think,” says Suri, “And because I am part of Peninim, I feel I’m better prepared to deal

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

January 6, 2012

73


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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 73 for her husband, Mr. Shmuel Stern. Children were entertained by the Lev Leytzan clowns while women enjoyed the brunch.

ing the sick and elderly—both at home and in the hospital. Even the most minimal investment in time and effort can make a tremendous difference to those in need of bikur cholim services. Donations pay for doctor and lab fees, postsurgical and postnatal home

The Mandel Family Presents

Pesach 2012 At the Pocono Manor Resort

Photo by Ivan H. Norman

Just 2 hours from N.Y.

Stunning Multi -Million Dollar Renovation Chasidisha Shechita Cholov Yisroel Non Gebrokts Hand Shmura Matzo • • • • • • • • •

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• Fishing • Golf • Archery • Basketball

and much more

732.370.7777 www.pesachtimetours.com

Tzippy David, Chanie Drillman, and Marilyn Wolowitz at the Bikur Cholim Brunch

Pruz will be joining us for Pesach

Looking forward to greeting you personally. Your hosts, The Mandel Family

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The annual brunch is an opportunity to show gratitude to dedicated volunteers and recruit new volunteers to join in the beautiful and vital mitzvah of bikur cholim. Assistance is needed in many areas, including preparing meals, driving patients to appointments, and visit-

care, prescriptions, dental and optometry visits, mental health practitioners, and various types of therapies. These services can be beneficial to the sick and elderly. 

Continued on Page 78


Community News From Around The World Touro News And Events Touro conference to help unemployed teachers, January 13. Touro College’s Graduate School of Education is to host a conference to help unemployed New York State-licensed teachers find work. The one-day meeting, on January 13, will focus on teaching opportunities outside the public-school system for teachers who have been negatively impacted by the recent budget crisis in New York. A variety of presenters from parochial and charter schools with openings for teachers will discuss issues such as qualifications for teachers at their schools as well as how—and to whom—they should submit applications. The presenters will also discuss the nature of students at their schools (for example, whether they are gifted or special education students), traditional standard classrooms, salary expectations, and positions that teachers with specific specialties should consider. In June, a last-minute compromise between the teacher’s union and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg averted mass layoffs this school year. However, public-school budgets are still $178 million lower than last year and a hiring freeze is in place, leaving many qualified teachers without jobs. “According to the Department of Labor, there are approximately 6,000

your invitation to celebrate

PESACH 2012 WITH EMUNAH

teachers out of work in New York, even though they are well trained in education and special education,” according to Dr. Anthony J. Polemeni, vice president of the Division of Graduate Studies. “We want to give them an opportunity to see what else is out there beyond the public-school system and I think they’ll find that there are a number of avenues worth exploring.” The conference is the brainchild of Dr. Lamar Miller, dean of the Graduate School of Education, who wanted to tackle the growing problem of teacher unemployment. Representatives of Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, charter, and secular private schools will participate and give presentations to inform unemployed teachers about job openings and talk about their schools. One speaker will make a presentation about opportunities in the areas of children’s therapy. The meeting will take place at the Graduate School of Education in Manhattan, located at 43 West 23rd Street (between 5th and 6th Avenues) on the third floor. Reservations are necessary to attend. To reserve a spot, please call 212-463-0400, ext. 5785, or e-mail ingbere@touro.edu. Grant from National Science Foundation. Dr. Allan Geliebter and Dr. Barba-

Continued on Page 76

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Community News Continued from Page 75 TM

Passover2012

2012

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ra Rumain, faculty members of the psychology department at Touro College, have received a three-year, $587,000 grant from the National Science Foundation (NSF). The grant will support them in the development of ProcessOriented Guided-Inquiry Learning (POGIL) computer-based experimental psychology laboratories, a state-of-theart approach to enhance student’s abilities to think critically and reason analytically. This is the second grant awarded to Drs. Geliebter and Rumain from the NSF. In the first grant, they were awarded $100,000 to establish the POGIL approach, the primary focus of which is to teach the process of learning, rather than specific content areas. Students are guided by the instructor to discover the answers to critical thinking questions that help them develop their own reasoning skills as researchers. This approach is in addition to merely learning the specific content of a traditional experimental psychology curriculum. This approach has been used successfully for other “hard” sciences such as chemistry and physics. “This is a major Type 2 grant from the NSF which will allow us, over the next three years, to implement and expand the computerized experimental laboratories to other divisions of Touro,” according to Dr. Geliebter, the principal investigator. Dr. Geliebter added that student instructors will be hired to maintain the labs and to assist profes-

sors with the technology. An important component of POGIL is collaborative learning. Students work in learning teams so that they can be active in the learning process and assist each other in reasoning through the answers to critical thinking questions posed to them. In this way, they learn from each other and through the process of thinking through the material together, the material becomes more meaningful to them, according to Dr. Rumain. “With this grant we shall continue development of POGIL-based experimental psychology computer laboratories which we started with the funding from our first NSF grant several years ago,” Dr. Rumain said. “In addition, we will be holding seminars on POGIL and making these materials available to other universities so that they have access to them, as well,” Dr. Geliebter has an M.A. in biology and a Ph.D. in psychology from Columbia University. He was chair of Touro’s psychology department for over 20 years. Dr. Geliebter is recognized internationally for his research studies in the field of obesity and eating disorders, which have been supported by numerous National Institute of Health and industry grants. Dr. Rumain (co-principal investigator) received her B.A. from Barnard College, Columbia University, where she majored in mathematics. She has a Ph.D. in psychology from New York University. Dr. Rumain has authored numerous publications in the field of cognitive development. 

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Upcoming NCYI Israel Advocacy Programs Two events for Israel advocacy are being offered in Queens and Long Island Young Israel synagogues. These programs are offered at no charge to the participants and are open to all. They are being presented as part of the Israel advocacy programs of the National Council of Young Israel, “Winning the War of Words: Become an Effective Advocate for Israel.” NCYI and Young Israel of Forest Hills will present a screening of The Forgotten Refugees, produced by The David Project. This event will take place motzaei Shabbat, January 7, 7:30 p.m. at Young Israel of Forest Hills, 7100 Yellowstone Boulevard in Flushing. The film is about the exodus of up to one million Jews from the Middle East and North Africa in the 20th century. Following the screening, discussion will be led by Rabbi Bini Maryles, associate executive director/senior director, branch services, NCYI and Israel advocacy educator. NCYI and Young Israel of New Hyde Park will present “Advocacy Training: Understanding the Mideast conflict and responding to the 30-second sound bite.” This event will take place Tuesday, February 7, 7:30 p.m. at Young Israel of New Hyde Park, 264-15 77th Avenue in New Hyde Park. Because the Arab-Israeli conflict has produced a wave of antiSemitism throughout the world, education and training are needed to combat this growing animosity and advocate effectively for Israel in the classroom, office, and neighborhood. This program provides a fair and honest presentation

and the necessary techniques and strategies to use when confronted by colleagues, teachers, or peers in anti-Israel debate. Rabbi Maryles will present this session. Registration is encouraged by visiting www.youngisrael.org/dp. 

Enjoy Pesach In California With Passover Resorts Passover Resorts is returning to California for its fourth consecutive year at the Hyatt Regency Valencia, just 30 minutes from Los Angeles. The resort has recently been voted 100% family friendly by travel websites. Here, you have the best of both worlds. You can explore nature trails or stroll through the village, stopping to sit and watch the fountains dance, or window shop in Town Center’s vast assortment of boutiques and stores. Walking at night is an atmospheric treat with stars in the sky and tree-lit thoroughfares and walkways illuminating the mountains in the background. The world-famous Magic Mountain theme park is just a two-minute drive from the hotel. Lake Castaic, with an array of boating activities, is less than 10 minutes away. With three golf courses, public tennis courts, and many family fun economical activities close by, you don’t even have to leave Valencia to enjoy your vacation. At www.passoverresorts.com, you can learn about all the local attractions, including how long a walk or drive they are from the resort. L.A.’s world-famous attractions are only a 30-minute drive away.

Continued on Page 80

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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 74

Cheder Students At The LY Library For Lubavitcher Chassidim, Hey Teves is a day of great rejoicing. It is referred to as Didan Notzach, a day of victory. On Hey Teves 5749 (1988) a court decision came down that the books of the previous Lubavitch Rebbe belonged not to his biological descendants, but to his spiritual de-

scendants, the chassidim, his followers. This year, for Hey Teves, Cheder at the Ohel chose to celebrate at the Levi Yitzchak Jewish Children’s Library. Bracha Kramer, program coordinator for the library, put together some fantastic activities for the students. The younger boys were able to make their own Hey Teves booklets. The older boys learned the intricacies of a library and how the books are

Cheder students celebrate Hey Teves at Levi Yitzchak Library

organized. They also had the privilege of packing books to be delivered by mail for the children of shluchim to borrow. These children do not live near any established Jewish community and it is a real treat for them to have access to Jewish books. It is a great service provided by the LY Library. Many of the Cheder at the Ohel boys are themselves

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children of shluchim, which added to their eagerness to help. All of the boys were given time to explore the library and read. All agreed that it was a great way to celebrate Hey Teves. 

A Chanukah Gift For HAFTR Students HAFTR talmidim were privileged to hear from two won-

derful local rabbanim who delivered inspiring divrei Torah for Chanukah. Rabbi Yaakov Reisman, who leads the Agudath Israel of Long Island, spoke to the ninthgrade boys’ masmidim class and all the eleventh-grade boys on the second day of Chanukah. Rabbi Reisman spoke about the spiritual and physical battles we fought in


the past and those we fight today to stay strong as Jews and how they connect to Chanukah. Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, who is the rav of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, spoke to all the tenth-grade boys’ classes

on the seventh day of Chanukah. He spoke, in his unique way, about the warmth of the Chanukah lights, noting that keeping mitzvos should make the Jew feel warmed by his or her connection to Hashem. 

And I, when I came from Paddan, Rochel died by me in the land of Canaan on the way, when yet there was but a little way to come to Efrat; and I buried her there in the way of Efrat, that is Bethlehem (Bereishis 48:7)

Why did Yaakov evoke the memory of Rochel’s burial?

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger

So said Yaakov to Yosef: I am asking you to trouble yourself to take me to be buried in the Land, even though I did not do the same for your mother. She died a short distance from Bethlehem, and I did not even take her to [Bethlehem] but buried her at the wayside. I know that there is resentment in your heart to me over this. But know that it was by Divine command that I buried her there, so that she should be a help for her children when Nevuzaradan (commander-in-chief of Nevuchadnetzar’s army; II Melachim 25) will exile them and they will pass by there. Then Rochel will come out upon her grave and weep and plead for mercy for them, as it is written (Yirmiyah 31:14): “A voice is heard in Ramah [the heights], lamentation and bitter weeping; Rochel is weeping for her children . . .”; and G-d will answer her, “There is reward for your toil . . . The children shall return to their own borders” (ibid., v. 15–16). (Rashi)

“[Menashe] also shall become a people, and he also shall be great; but truly his younger brother shall be greater than he . . .” (Bereishis 48:19)

Menashe shall be great in that Gideon shall come from him, and G-d will perform miracles through him (see Shof’tim chs. 6–8); but his younger brother shall be greater yet in that his descendant,Yehoshua, will conquer the Land and teach the Torah to Israel. (Rashi)

Rabbi Yaakov Reisman

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Community News Continued from Page 77 Each Hyatt Regency luxurious room or suite features a flat-screen TV, plush Hyatt grand beds, deluxe portico bath amenities, a refrigerator, high-speed Internet access, dual line phones, quality cell phone reception, a coffee maker, an iron and ironing board, marble bath, and individual air-conditioning controls. The hotel’s fitness center features the latest cardio and weight training equipment, with 24-hour availability to fit your schedule. Whether you prefer to begin your day with an invigorating run on a treadmill or are more of a night owl, you’ll find all you need for a complete workout. Adult guests and teens also have access to The Spectrum Club just a few steps from the front door of the resort. There you can utilize their giant fitness center, lap pool, two regulation gyms, and basketball courts. Passover Resorts’ Seders are events of quintessential elegance set to every detail. They maintain a synagogue where services are held three times a day. The roster of scholars, rabbis, and professional speakers will enlighten, entertain, and amuse you. Guests are treated to exciting family entertainment with comedians, Jewish and Israeli vocalists, illusionists, hypnotists, tournaments, and many surprises. They have a preschool day camp for children 18 months through 4 years, a day camp for children 5–12 years, and a teen program. Your kids will be kept busy from morning till night thanks to their expe-

rienced staff. Guests are treated like royalty by a caring, warm, and experienced staff during your festive and fun-filled kosher vacation at this luxurious warmweather resort. Visit www.passoverresorts.com to see photos of the resort, a listing of its amenities, and the nearby attractions. Their Passover package rates begin as low as $2,199 per person/ double occupancy, plus tax and tip. Kids five and under are free if they’re in the same room as two adults or two teens. The early-bird special in Valencia offers free accommodations for children 6–12 for the first 50 customers (children in the same rooms as two adults or two teens). Passover Resorts has been making Passover guests happy for more than 20 years. They are noted for coordinating the most classic and elegant Passover programs. Their menus are designed to delight the most sophisticated palate while satisfying those with more traditional tastes, children, and those on special diets. Their chefs and staff go the extra mile to ensure you are served the finest quality foods. All of their meals are cooked and prepared on site using only fresh foods and produce. They stock a wide selection of the finest kosher wines. They are glatt kosher and have strict Orthodox rabbinic supervision provided by the Va’ad HaRabonim of San Diego. Join for one to nine nights for a joyous, relaxing, and fun-filled Passover at the Hyatt Regency Valencia. For more information, call 323-933-4033 or visit www.passoverresorts.com. 


Ohel Annual Gala 2012, February 12 Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services has announced that the agency’s annual gala will be held on Sunday, February 12, at the New York Hilton Hotel. The gala event kicks off with a reception at 5:00 p.m., followed by dinner at 6:00 p.m. The focus of this year’s dinner is Ohel’s Cherish the Children campaign. Ohel and its many friends and supporters are committed to the fundamental principle that every child deserves to be cherished. For more than 42 years, Ohel has provided critical programs and services to help ensure that children are protected, well cared for, loved, and encouraged to thrive. Ohel’s foster families, its domestic-abuse shelters, summer camp, programs for the siblings of children with developmental disabilities, and residential facilities are just some of the many ways in which Ohel has cherished our community’s children for more than four decades. Support for the annual gala will give children with developmental disabilities the opportunity to attend summer camp alongside their typically developing peers; respite and support to the parents of children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders; and access to the best medical care for children living with Ohel foster families, among many other important programs and services. Ohel is proud to share this special evening with deserving honorees who have demonstrated an exemplary commitment to cherishing and elevating the lives of people of all ages and are

among Ohel’s most loyal friends and supporters. Corporate guests of honor: Bollinger Insurance, Inc. Andrew Marks, senior executive VP and Bruce Tindal, executive VP, will accept the award. Established in 1933, Bollinger, Inc., is headquartered in Short Hills, NJ. Currently ranked as the nation’s 17th largest insurance broker, the company has more than 450 employees. Named one of the 2009 Best Places to Work in insurance, Bollinger provides business and personal insurance and employee benefit programs to a wide range of customers, as well as specialty insurance programs for golf and country clubs, amateur sports, and schools and colleges. Tribute to the memory of Rita Baratz, a’h. Rita and her husband, Joe, served as exemplary Ohel foster parents to many children in need of safe shelter and a loving home. Many are now grown with families of their own, and their former foster children have maintained close ties with the family. The Baratz children experienced firsthand how Ohel and a loving foster family can create a childhood to be cherished. Phil and Lisa Baratz and Michael and Ellen Baratz stem from Hollywood Florida; David and Tzippora Baratz live in West Hempstead; and Sammy and Rachellie Baratz reside in Woodmere. All are active in their communities. The Baratz family recognizes the impact and importance of Ohel’s foster care program and is proud, as Ohel honorees, to remember and pay

Continued on Page 82

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Community News Continued from Page 81 tribute to their mother’s generosity, love, and hard work. Humanitarian Award: Patrick, I. Borgen, M.D. Dr. Patrick I. Borgen has cared with kindness for many people in our community and is highly respected and admired for his acts of charity. Dr. Borgen is chair of the department of surgery at Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn. He also heads the Brooklyn Breast Cancer Program at Maimonides Cancer Center, the only dedicated cancer center in Brooklyn. Dr. Borgen was recruited from Memorial Sloan Kettering where he served as chief of breast services, head of the breast cancer research laboratory, and director of the breast cancer disease management team. Legislator of the Year: Assemblyman Gary S. Schaer of Passaic/Essex/Bergen NJ. Assemblyman Schaer has served in the New Jersey General Assembly since January 2006. Over the course of his service in the Legislature, Assemblyman Schaer has successfully championed numerous legislative accomplishments and won many victories for the residents of the 36th District and New Jersey. He has also written laws that require employers to provide time off for religious holidays and that require alternative testing dates for students taking standardized tests and professionals such as attorneys or doctors taking a test for state licensure, among others measures. Currently, he is drafting legislation that would require the NJ Department of Children and Families to place foster and adopted children in homes that match a child’s religious heritage. He also is in discussions with stakeholders to ensure cemeteries do not gouge grieving families when burial must happen on a secular holiday or Sunday. Assemblyman Schaer is known for his leadership on a variety of issues including greater assistance for families, children and adults with Autism and developmental disabilities, property tax relief and reform, strengthening ethics laws, funding for New Jersey’s public colleges, and bringing increased fiscal responsibility to New Jersey’s budget. He is active in many local causes in the Passaic area. Ohel Bais Ezra, the Lifetime Care Foundation, and Camp Kaylie have served thousands in the community for more than four decades. While, the needs of the Jewish community have continued to grow and change since Ohel’s founding in 1969, it continues to meet our community’s evolving needs with the highest quality programs and services. The annual gala is Ohel’s most important fundraising event of the year. Many of its programs receive little or no government funding, and Ohel relies on the participation of its generous friends and supporters to ensure that Ohel can continue to elevate the lives of thousands of individuals and families every day. Gifts to the 2012 annual gala and journal will support Ohel’s Cherish the Children Campaign. For reservations, to place a journal ad, or to learn more about the event, visit www.ohelfamily.org/dinner or call 718972-9338. 

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Jewish Agency Denies Cutting Education Funds BY SAMUEL SOKOL MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDENT

“I felt like they pulled the rug out from underneath my feet,” said Hebrew University junior Elan Miller, referring to a recent article in the Haaretz daily newspaper that the Jewish Agency plans on withdrawing funding from a program providing university scholarships to recent immigrants to Israel. “I was afraid,” he continued, saying that he did “not know where I was going to get my funding from. Having to work as well as study [would cause] my grades to go down and it would have a severe impact on my future.” Elan, together with several of his contemporaries at Bar Ilan University and the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya were “on the verge of organizing a demonstration” against the Jewish Agency after Haaretz reported that “thousands of immigrants could be forced to drop out of school if the Jewish Agency moves forward with a plan to end scholarship funding at the end of the current academic year.” According to Haaretz, unnamed senior officials at the Jewish Agency have indicated that “the Jewish Agency plans to stop transferring funds to the Immigrant Student Authority toward the end of the year.” The anonymous source quoted by the newspaper also stated that his organization is seeking to “get out of dealing with students.” However, Jewish Agency spokesman and former student aid recipient Haviv Rettig Gur claims that not only is the Haaretz report full of “falsehoods,” but that a response to the article submitted by the Agency was censored by the newspaper, denying it the right of reply. According to an official statement by Rettig Gur, “The Jewish Agency is indeed pulling out of funding the Absorption Ministry’s Student Authority, because it is the right and smart thing to do. But we have secured in recent weeks ironclad guarantees from several government sources that government agencies will step in and make up the difference. It is altogether appropriate that the government, rather than donors, take responsibility for long-term absorption and higher education of olim.” In an interview with the Jerusalem Post the day after the Haaretz article was published, Jewish Agency chairman Natan Sharansky stated that they are “having discussions with the government on very deep levels and we will not simply drop these programs until the government is ready to take them over.” Rettig Gur agreed, stating, “We will not pull out until the government steps in. Even after making this promise, the government has agreed to step in, because it recognizes its responsibility for the long-term success of olim in Israel.” “The budget of the Absorption Ministry’s Student Authority will not be cut.

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A DIVISION OF MITZUYOSSI:

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Continued from Page 83 Most of the authority’s budget comes from the government as it is. We believe we do not bring value by being a minor funder, so we have asked the government to step in and take over our part of the funding.” Ascribing possible harmful intent to Haaretz, Rettig Gur also stated that he did “not want to speculate on the moti-

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We’re talking about 7,000 students receiving full scholarships for three years of study. vations behind the publication of such an egregious misrepresentation of the facts.” Regarding the apparent refusal of Haaretz to publish his comment on the newspaper’s website, Rettig Gur wrote that he was at a loss. “I understand that Haaretz resents my public anger. But Haaretz, you really and truly published a lie that scared the willies out of thousands of immigrant students.” The former journalist said he had been contacted by several Haaretz journalists of his acquaintance who claimed that the matter was being looked into. Despite this, he told the Five Towns Jewish Times, he has received no response from the newspaper, claiming to have received word that “Haaretz has active-

you’ll be pretty scared. I should note that in 2002, after finishing my army service, I was a recipient of this exact Student Authority scholarship. Without it, I would not have been able to learn. It’s as simple as that.” Reporters at Haaretz who were contacted by this newspaper stated that they could not comment without permission from their bosses, which they would endeavor to obtain. However, as of this time no official comment from the newspaper has been received. “We hope that there is no basis for this [report] and wish to believe the statement put out by the Jewish Agency,” said Miller, expressing feelings shared by many Israeli immigrant students, “but we are now afraid.” 

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ly told staff not to respond to us.” “We’ve received hundreds of shocked responses from very scared people,” he told the Five Towns Jewish Times. “They start out angry at the Agency and they finish their conversations with us angry at Haaretz. We’re talking about 7,000 students receiving full scholarships for three years of study. If you’re that student, and you read that it’s going to be canceled and ‘thousands of immigrants could be forced to drop out of school,’

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DAF YOMI INSIGHTS By Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow

Pay With Pennies? Call The Coppers! A University of Colorado student wanted to protest his high tuition. He paid his $1,400 tuition payment with 1,400 one-dollar bills. I guess that is somewhat understandable, but when you switch to pennies it gets even worse. Jason West from Utah was arrested after paying his medical bill with pennies. He disputed the bill that the clinic sent him for $25. He went in person to pay his bill and asked if they accepted cash payment. They answered that they did, and he promptly dumped 2,500 pennies on the counter. The clinic called the police and Jason was issued a summons for disorderly conduct. That ticket carries a penalty of up to $140. It was the way he dumped the pennies that got him fined. A man was upset with the Fulton County tax office. He decided that he was going to pay his fee for renewing his license plates in pennies. Pennies come in boxes of $25 and weigh about 15 pounds. He found a bank willing to supply him with the requisite pennies, and they told him that he was the

only person to make a withdrawal using a hand truck! The license fee was $167. He boxed up 15,000 pennies and included a check for the remaining $17. He mailed his pennies to the tax office, which was only a block away. The shipping charge came to $16. The office accepted the payment without comment. Did they legally have to accept the payment? Halachically, does someone have to accept payment in pennies? The Gemara relates a story about Chanan Bisha (Bechoros 50b), “Chanan the Bad.” He hit a fellow on his ear. (Some Rishonim have other interpretations of what exactly he did.) Apparently, it’s embarrassing to be hit publicly on the ear. The sages determined that the restitution due for that embarrassment is half a zuz. They therefore ruled that he had to pay his victim that amount. Chanan Bisha only had a full zuz, with its impression almost obliterated. Chanan Bisha hit the hapless vic-

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letters to THE EDITOR Fighting Extremism Dear Editor, This past Thursday, I was part of a group that wrote a pledge to ask tzedakos looking for our donations to comment on where they stand on the harassment and intimidation of others in Israel. I was pleasantly surprised over Shabbat to see Mr. Katz’s article (January 30, “Say No To Extremism”) which ended with a similar idea. Readers who would like to take the pledge can find it at www.ipetitions.com/petition/stand-against-intimidation/signatures. I hope the situation is resolved soon in as peaceful a way as possible. Daniela Weiss-Bronstein Great Neck Dear Shmuel Katz, I hope you, Goldie, and the kids are all well. I am not one to write letters to newspapers but felt I had to write to you regarding your last article. I, like everyone else, am disgusted and embarrassed by what is going on in Bet Shemesh. It is difficult to read about and even harder to watch clips of. I wish I knew what the answer is, but I simply don’t. What I am having the hardest time with is your opening paragraph, where

you describe dreading the e-mail responses you’ll be receiving from the readers of the Five Towns Jewish Times. How dare anybody writing from the comforts of their Five Towns lives lecture you, living in the midst of this mess, about what is right or wrong. I say shame on them! Unless their seven-year-olds are being spat at, their wives being called names, or their families being harassed, they have no right to give such opinions. You should feel safe to write about what is going on from your perspective. I admire you and Goldie for going ahead and moving your family to Israel, while the rest of us are still back here just thinking about it. Gitti

Got Milk Ads? Dear Editor, The large anonymous advertisement contained in the December 30 issue advocating the drinking of cholov Yisrael milk as a halachic imperative is troubling in numerous respects. First, the fact that the ad encourages readers not just to abstain from non-cholov Yisrael products, but affirmatively touts cholov Yisrael as “healthy for

body and soul,” inescapably leads one to suspect that commercial interests are behind the colorful, professionallooking ad. That, and the ad’s anonymity, itself serves to call both the sincerity and credibility of the ad’s message into doubt. Moreover, while I am not competent to opine on the ad’s presentation of Rav Moshe Feinstein’s psak, I can say with certainty that the ad is highly misleading in a different respect: The ad contains an ominous warning that says “BE AWARE: Currently, the government does not test if noncow milk is added.” The obvious implication is that if you drink non-cholov Yisrael milk you are in danger of drinking milk of an animal other than a dairy cow, one that is perhaps not kosher. However, anyone with even a layman’s knowledge of the dairy industry in the United States (and I suspect the sponsor of the ad has much more knowledge than that) would consider the notion that U.S. milk supplies are contaminated with nonkosher milk to be laughable. Among other things, modern automation and the economics of industrial dairies make any meaningful level of contamination uneconomic and impractical. Moreover, most milk and milk products consumed by Orthodox Jews are kosher-certified, even if not cholov Yisrael. So by suggesting that those products contain milk from non-kosher animals, the advertisement is actually being motzi laz (defaming) some of our most-trusted national kashrus agencies.

The decision whether to consume only cholov Yisrael involves considerations of halachah, custom, and practicality that should be between a person, his conscience, his family, and his rav. But it should certainly not be influenced one way or another by a sensational print advertisement of unknown origin and dubious veracity. Shlomo Wilamowsky Lawrence

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DAF YOMI INSIGHTS Continued from Page 85 tim again and then paid him the full zuz! What is the significance of the fact that he had a zuz with its impression worn out? Why did the Gemara note that fact? The Rashba explains that when Chanan offered it as payment to his victim, he wanted change of half a zuz. However, the victim didn’t want to be stuck with a coin that is not universally accepted and also give up a perfectly good half a zuz. However, when Chanan hit him again, the amount owed was a full zuz. At this point, the victim could not refuse payment. While it was true that the coin would not be accepted everywhere, it would still be valid in some locations. The Rashba concludes from here that when someone is being paid for damages, he may not refuse coins that are

Chanan Bisha hit the hapless victim again and then paid him the full zuz! somewhat valid. The Gemara made the point that the coin was somewhat difficult to spend to teach us this halachah, that the individual owed money cannot refuse money that is still somewhat legal tender. As an interesting aside, the Ben Yehoyada notes that even though Chanan paid restitution, he was still known as Chanan the Bad. Paying for damages is not the same as teshuvah. One has to regret his misdeeds and ask forgiveness after making the required payments. Lehavdil, does federal law force people to accept pennies as payment? Contrary to popular belief, the answer is no. The following is from the Treasury Department’s website: There is no Federal statute mandating that a private business, person, or organization must accept currency or coins as for payment for goods and/or services. Private businesses are free to develop their own policies on whether or not to accept cash unless there is a state law which says otherwise. For example, a bus line may prohibit payment of fares in pennies or dollar bills. In addition, convenience stores and gas stations may refuse to accept large denomination currency (usually notes above $20) as a matter of policy. For Darchei parents, the next question is: must a local retailer accept the Penguin card?  Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead and is a rebbi at Yeshiva Tiferes Torah in Kew Gardens for post-high-school boys. He can be contacted at ASebrow@gmail.com.

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