March 2015 by The Maimonides Spectrum

School Mourns Mock Trial’s Wins ... Page 3-0

Mohawk TRAGEDY AT FORT HOOD Added to Army Psychologist Charged | 5 Dress Code ... Page W

Chaiel’s ANIMAL BYPRODUCTS Beard Gains Okay to Eat? | 6 Sentience ... Page 420

SPECTRUM MAIMONIDES SCHOOL STUDENT NEWSPAPER

Vol. XXI Issue 8

March 2015 2009 / Adar 5775 November

Maimo Is Now Amish

WWW.MAIMOSPECTRUM.COM Vol. III Issue 4

A New Solution to an Age-Old By Ariela Greengart Everyone knows that eating in the Problem library is forbidden, yet people con-

The Law of the Library

In This Issue:

A Maimonides senior makes the case for a helipad instead of the tennis. court ... Page Love

See our Purim Staff Box ... Page 2 Boston prepares for its next storm: a locust blizzard ... Plague 8 Mizrachi music skyrockets to top of Billboard Hot 100 Chart . .. Page East Rabbi Soskil agrees to stop censoring Spectrum ... Page XX Famine strikes Maimo; students resort to looting healthy vend. ... Page $1.50

y Michael It Gerber ‘17 in the tinue to do it Banyway. states Israel have Upper Hamas School and Handbook: “Nobeen foodat or drink allowed in each(except other’swater) throatsis for a while classrooms, in many the library, or in the now, and different efforts shul”have (Section 3-School Rules: Food been made to make the Outside Permittedleaders Areas). get Thisalong. rule squabbling has been in use for eighteen years. So Recently, an effort made by Bill why doesn’t everybody follow it? Why Clinton has come to light: there is it a rule to begin with? Has this rule has a that rumor thatwants Hamas turned intobeen a joke no one to leader Khaled Mashal and Israeadhere to? To answer this last quesMinister Netion, liI Prime ﬁrst had to ﬁnd Benjamin out why studown dentstanyahu, eat in thegot library to and beginstoned. with. I don’t literally mean getting I believe I found my answer when I interviewed sophomore Tess Niewood. “stoned,” or throwing stones; I By Davey Schoenberg ‘15 regulations that come with being When I asked her opinion about the On February 30, Head of School Amish, including dress, technology, am referring to smoking mariprohibition of food in the library, she juana. (Apparently, Bill Clinton Naty Katz called a school assembly and, of course, churning butter. was hesitant to respond. part Ultimately, of Bush’s she coto discuss a change in Maimo. “It was a logical progression, was secretly did agree that the rule “makes sense.” I vert Operation Make Israel and “We are pleased to announce that stemming from our mission as asked her if she thought that it was fair starting this September, Maimonides an institution,” he said. “The Rav Hamas Get Along that lasted that students disregarded the rule. She from that 2002-2006.) School will become the first ever always wanted us to be as modernanswered it’s not fair, but it’s not Some questioned why Amish Jewish day school.” as possible, and what could be more something that have is likely to change. The theis two opposing leaders hang used Mr. Katz explained that Maimon- modern than separating ourselveslibrary a place where students this recreational drug. An unides would strictly enforce the from the dangers of technology.out; there are few other places to go. confirmed statement from and Nelounge is very small, Continued on page 8The student Student outlaw munching in the library mostly used by juniors and seniors. The tanyahu has circled around the

Road to the Faculty Meetings

In This Issue:

ally. Trust On a Tuesday afternoon, me, it was A Maimo student takes a once a month, Maimonides not like stab at the schedule, offerteachers and staff gather a n y ing a proposal to solve his forpersonal the infamous “faculty angst......page 2 By Daniel Lasman meeting.” Here is a question Robben that has been circulat- t h i nAfter g fighting through five agIsland: gressive games, the Maimonides ingSarah for Ricklan ages: What you could goes to goes a boys’ soccer team boasted an impreson former duringPrisoner these meetings? imagine. of War sive 4-1 record. With a growing fan Why doesn’t anyone know? While students camp and lives to tell the base and a four game winning streak, Myths about these meetings left school earlyBorkow kept morale soared. Coach tale................page 2 his M-Cats in tip-top shape with at have been passed around on the day of a faculty least five rigorous practices a week for decades. Some people meeting, Maimonides facBombs Away: supplemented by daily sets of pushbelieve the myths and think ulty enjoyed stale cookies The US gets tired of wars on ups. Assistant Coach Barbosa used that teachers sit in a circle his andyears salad. Only when no to of soccer experience Earth and decides to bomb andthe discuss the students, more students were left in share powerful plays and innovative moon..............page 7 game day strategies. As a team, how to improve the school’s the building did the meeting the M-Cats poised to meet any challearning really were begin. The environment Cartoon: for lenges their schedule held in store. the Sick students, and how to betRabbi Soskil kicked off of waiting for The In game six of the season, Maiter the school’s curriculum. the conference on an inSpectrum Poll to return, Eli monides faced Matignon High Although that myth is teresting note by handing School. Just a week before, Matignon Portman makes a timely one and battled nice andown............page believed by many, outMaimonides dartboardshad and dartsit out to in of his 8 true warrior fashion. Despite a it is not true. Disguised as a every teacher. One wouldlate comeback by Matignon, Maiteacher, I sat inCorner: on a faculty game think this was for a friendly, Culinary monides escaped with a 4-3 victory. meeting and experienced the As get-to-know-each-otherSarah Robinson teaches you they left the field, it was clear that strange happenings of the Matignon competition. But no: that how to make a Thanksgiving was hungry for revenge. faculty conference personwas absolutely not what pie.....................page 11 Continued on the pg.5 By Lauren Koralnik ‘17

Scheduling Woes:

State Tournament

A Capital Good Time

Continued on page 7

dark corners of the Internet: Continued on pg.5 “I firmly believe marijuana is a way of life, man … The State of Israel has been at war many By Ben Niewood times now, but I think marijuana will now settle be these disputes learned that the delegations they would hearing lecbetween turescountries.” on topics ranging from there included people from Bill Clinton bestates including Michigan,Reportedly, ‘Understanding AIPAC’s and Mandate’ to Florida, California, New cameMission so frustrated over trying York, New Jersey and Mary‘Iran and the Bomb.’ For to settle the dispute between land. Overall, there were theand ﬁrstIsrael day and the Hamas that ahehalf, walked Maimonides delegation was over 400 other high school into a secure room with both students, all eager to learn divided into agroups based leaders during peace-talks what AIPAC was about. on their name tags. The meeting and plopped a fiveWhen Maimonides stu- ﬁrst speeches were mostly ounce bag of marijuana right in dents received their name about AIPAC’s mission and frontwhy of them. They smoked tags, they also received it is important. Alsoit under an hour. Bill a schedule that told them all in Continued on pg.7 Clinton denies any of this, but then again, he also denied having affairs behind his wife’s back. At the time, Khaled Mashal commented on the website 4Chan under the username “I’mNotKhaledMashal” saying, “Smoking weed really helped keep the flow of my Maimonides students at the Capitol

In early November, a small group of seniors and juniors traveled to Washington, D.C. to attend an AIPAC High School Conference. AIPAC, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, is an interest group that lobbies Congress in support of a strong relationship between America and Israel. Contrary to popular belief, AIPAC is not a traditional political action committee (PAC) since it is bipartisan and does not endorse candidates who run for ofﬁce. When the Maimonides delegation arrived at the majestic Washington Grand Hyatt, they picked up their name tags and ran to the conference’s main meeting room just in time to catch the end of the opening remarks. They soon

Continued on page 10

Page 2 !"#$%&'

June 2010Adar 5775 March 2015/ f():(-#$aURU !"#$%&&'

!"#$%&'( !"#$%&'(

2,3)$245$6436,3274!643 The Spectrum Letter from the Editors !"#$%&'()!*'%+' !!!

!!!!!"#$!%&&&&&&"#$%&'%(!)**+

!"#$%&%'(#)"#*+(,)(#

Staff

Spectrum more dangerous than sincere igno- so completely addicted to Taam (#$)"*"+$,-./01-0 rance and conscientious stupidity.” China food. 89#$:--;$:"01< J9??/9$)+/D1 M$H"*?9$A"**-@$-*$A9H9*#$1@"HL We don’t want to leave you all sinBefore you turn to the next page Achashveroshes: M$ @*/"0?=H"*$ 1H/A9$ -*$ !-RR"*9HH"$ )=>>9*$/1$*/?+@$"*-=0;$@+9$A-*09*B$1-$7$+"C9$D*-E com- to eat -G$ up 2>9*/A"0$ all of the dramatic ongoWe areM$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$@->"@-B$-*$D9DD9* sorry to say that this cerely ignorant, so we have Davey Schoenberg ’15 and Chaiel C/;9;$@F-$;/1+91$"DD*-D*/"@9$G-*$"$G*/90;1E"0;E A+9919$S"$H9"G$-G$H9@@=A9$>"#$"H1-$.9$=19;T will be the our last issue. Rab- piled some of the most newsworthy ings in Maimonides, wait a minSchaffel ’15 3=0"$)"H";$U,$6??$)"H";$V:-*$3=0"$)"H";I$!/W$ G">/H#$D/A0/A$-*$G-*$"0#$0/A9$1=>>9*$;"#I$:H-FE ute. Did you really think that your bi Soskil has officially banned news out there. Vashti: "$ X$ -=0A9$ -G$ @=0"B$Editors-in-Chief O$ @".H91D--01$ >"#-0E 9*$)"0;F/A+91$"0;$J9??/9$)+/D1K$3+919$*9A/D91$ You will read this month about A"0$ Spectrum would Spectrum. We struggled through Aviva Rosen ’16 "*9$G=0$"0;$1/>DH9$90-=?+$G-*$9C9*#-09$@-$>"L9B$ 0"/19B$M$@9"1D--0$H9>-0$N=/A9B$!$1@"HL$-G$G/09H#$ discussions, arguments, cuts, the glamorous Lipa Schmeltzer give in the Rabbi Soskil that easN2!O0(0/!V#'9-3#A+-DD9;$ *9H/1+B$ 1"H@$in-*$ 9C90$@+9$.9?/009*$A+9GK din-A9H9*#B$ ily? %$Of@9"1D--01$ course not! If "0;$ you’re and censors, but we could not hosting the Oscars—perfect H%2!c##:!c0-3S Chief Minister to the King: D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK$:-*$6??$)"H";I$!/W$Y$ 8/93!&#-./1!%$%(2!-%43>0>%(!,D$%!3%%-!^./53!;0(_!/03!>5'=93/%:!&0-2!.5(A%2!(%?9>%3!9-!>(%>0C fight any longer. We lost, and we ner table conversation. Later on, terested in revolting and reviving (0.9#-!;#(!85(A%2!M027!N5.!03!%$%(2#-%!A-#431!8/0-A369$9-6!&%0=3!0(%!-%$%(!?#&>=%.%!49./C Caleb Jacoby ’15 >"1+9;$+"*;E.-/H9;$9??1B$Z$@".H91D--01$>"#-0E :H-F9*$)"0;F/A+91 on Mai- Spectrum, meet us in Ms. Wright’s know we have disappointed our Davey Schoenberg reports #5.!>9%7!N%=#4!93!#-%!#;!&2!;0$#(9.%!>9%!(%?9>%37!,!=9A%!9.!'%?053%!9.!93!$%(30.9=%!d!9.!?0-!'%!53%:! 0"/19B$%$@".H91D--01$5/N-0$>=1@"*;B$M$@9"1D--0$ M$F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D Assistant Minister to the King: monides changing from a Modern office next Wednesday to make a few faithful readers. ;#(!./%!8/0-A369$9-6!&09-!?#5(3%1!:%3%(.1!#(!;#(!0-2!O/0''0.!&%0=7!R=531!9.!49==!-#.!;09=!2#5e!9.! M$GH-F9*E1+"D9;$A--L/9$A=@@9*$ D"D*/L"B$ !$ 1@"HL$ A+-DD9;$ A9H9*#B$ "0;$ 1"H@$ -*$ Daniel Smits ’16 into plan -G$ and stage our coup. See you Do not despair, dear Spectrum Orthodox Jewish day school 49==!?#&%!#5.!#;!./%!#$%-!49./!./%!30&%!?#-393.%-?2!%0?/!.9&%f,!>(#&93%7!N5.!&#3.!9&>#(C D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK[ %$1H/A91$-G$.*9"; You all then! enthusiasts, for this final issue of an Amish Jewish day school. .0-.=21!./93!>9%!/03!0!4#-:%(;5=!.0-6!4/9?/!49==!A%%>!2#5(!65%3.3!4#-:%(9-61!FI/%(%!#-!%0(./! M$-*$%$1D*9";1B$H/L9$D9"0=@$.=@@9*B$N9HH#B$-*$A*9">$ *&*$!"3!$83B-0$%-;#$90-;?@$C7%1&)'D$'-7:))$12-+$!"3!$&!$%3;#$90-;$,&2#3,,)#$32*$%-%-27!E$$ Spectrum is sure to go out with can impress your friends and preChief Palace Builder: MK$\-*9$@+9$199;1$-G$@+9$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$ A+9919 Sarah Pomeranz ’15 Your jocular Editors-in-Chief, a bang! We decided to up our pare yourself for this tremendous P(53.=%33!O4%%.!R#.0.#!R9% @->"@-B$-*$D9DD9*B$1-$#-=$"*9$H9G@$F/@+$@+9$1+9HHK$ Davey, game this month, and focus on transition. In addition, we have the Palace Builder: `Ca!&%:95&!34%%.!>#.0.#%3 F$!#34,--24$%-%-27!$83B-0&26$-0$%-%-27!$;&)1 MK$ :/*1@B$ A=@$ .-@+$ 1H/A91$ F/@+$ @+9$ A--L/9$ A=@@9*K$ 3+/1$F/HH$.9$#-=*$]C9??/9$C9119HK^ the Chaiel, the news that is truly important. most important news to ever hit By Sarah Robinson !!P!3560( Michael Gerber ’17 Y!.%03>##-!$0-9==0!%@.(0?. By Bella Rumshiskaya %K$)@=GG$@+9$C9??/9$C9119H$F/@+$F+/A+9C9*$1"H";$ 3+90$A=@$"$+-H9$/0$@+9$19A-0;$1H/A9$.#$D*911/0?$"$ Aviva After all, as Martin Luther King newsstands: the Taam conspiracy. "!P!>0(%$%!&0(60(9-%!0.!(##&!.%&>%(0.5(% B!:03/!#;!?9--0&#!"#$%&&'$%()*+ #-=$A+-19K F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D$/0$@+9$A90@9*K #!P!?(%0&2!3#2&9=A B!:03/!#;!-5.&%6 !"#$%&&'$%()*+$ Jr. said: “Nothing in the world is You can learn why your friends are Advisors Editor: Y!=0(6%!%66 %K$ )D*9";$ #-=*$ GH-F9*E1+"D9;$ D/9A91$ -G$B!:03/!#;!69-6%(!^#>.9#-0=_ .*9";$ OK$ P=1+$ @+9$ A"**-@$ -*$ A9H9*#$ /0@-$ @+9$ 1"H";$ "0;$ Hannah Stanhill ’15 `!.%03>##-3!>9-%0>>=%!U59?% H#-%2!^#>.9#-0=_! >00?%07:-*<5#%@-%A07%)'A%.'45%+0:*35<B%:.5,5%*-%C+'//A%-+01%0+%:.5%(,07+<#% ,(-./"-$01/*$2""34$5$2(*$*6"(3/)7$2/01$($8"2$8-/")'*$(9&:0$;&&3/)7<$=&$>#$*:-6-/*"4$01"$>&*0$?;&&3@ 1@/AL$ @+9$ A+9919$ -*$ H9@@=A9$ ]GH"?^$ 09W@$ @-$ /@K$ ZK$ F/@+$#-=*$G"C-*/@9$1D*9";K V80"-$*1&B"./)7$01"$*)&2$&-$*/>6.#$*6")'/)7$*&>"$0/>"$/)$01"$8-/7/'$(/-4$01"-"$ Plays & Festivals Editor: /)7A$01(0$()#$&8$01">$'&"*$/)B&.B"*$6&:-/)7$>/.3$&B"-$01"/-$;"-"(.<$=1(0C*$'/))"-D$E1(0"B"-<$F&$5$ OK$P=@$@+9$1H/A91$-G$.*9";$@-?9@+9*$"0;$C-/H"<$Q-=$ 4-F$9"@$#-=*$J9??/9$)+/D$.9G-*9$#-=*$@F-E#9"*E Y7!Z3%!0!3.%0&%(!.#!3.%0&!./%!>#.0.#%3!#-!/96/!/%0.!;#(!Y[CY\!&9-5.%37!8/%2!3/#5=:!'%!.%-:%(! *-%0+5%:.*+(%:.':%)0-:%08%7-%1'+:%D%.0:%3.030/':5#%E01B%A07%F,0&'&/A%.'45%:'-:@ '";/'"'$0&$2-/0"$:6$($G:./)(-#$G&-)"-$(9&:0$;"-"(.$-";/6"*<$H".&2$(-"$02&$-";/6"*$I21/;1$5$1('$)"B"-$ Moshe Saltzman ’16 -H;$.*-@+9*$>/1@"L91$/@$G-*$"$*9"H$1+/D$"0;$DH"#1$ +"C9$"$GH-F9*$1"0;F/A+<$ 9-!0'#5.!.4%-.2!&9-5.%37!]-?%!2#5!0(%!0'=%!.#!%039=2!9-3%(.!0!;#(A1!(%&#$%!./%!>#.0.#%3!;(#&! "'$>()#$'/88"-")0$1&0$;1&;&.(0"*$/)$#&:-$./8"<$H:0$1"-"$/*$>#$6"-*&)(.$8(B&-/0"K 1"(-'$&8$:)0/.$)&2J$/)B&.B/)7$;"-"(.K$L&)3"#$L:);1/"*$()'$M/;"$N-/*6/"$=-"(0*< HaMadai Editor: F/@+$/@$/0$@+9$."@+@=.< $ ./%!3.%0&%(!0-:!=%.!./%&!?##=!;#(!0.!=%03.!.%-!&9-5.%37 Purim readers!

Sameach,

P5=9-0(2!P#(-%(

The Culinary Corner L:);1#$=-"(0*

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David Kotler ’17 )7!R%%=!./%!>#.0.#!3A9-37!8/%-!&03/!./%!>#.0.#%3!9-!0!=0(6%!&9@9-6!'#4=!^,!(%?#&&%-:!539-6!0! !"#$%&'!(#)*+%, .5-0!&9@%(!;#(!./93_7 Palace News Editor: O$G$G1"P$I()#$*/)7."$0#6"$&-$($;&>9&Q$5$-";&>>")'$!&)"#$G1"PJ$ `7!P#&'9-%!./%!#./%(!9-6(%:9%-.37!N%0.!./%!3560(1!&0(60(9-%1!3#2&9=A1!%661!>9-%0>>=%!0-:!?#C R$G$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6* Aleeza Schoenberg ’17 ?#-5.1!$0-9==01!0-:!3>9?%3!9-!49./!./%!>#.0.#%37!L9@!<QVT!4%==7!,;!2#5!:#-D.1!2#5!49==!'%!3#((27! $G$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J !"@A+$@+9$89.*9F$F-*;1$/0$@+9$."0L$F/@+$@+9$AH=91$"0;$G/HH$/0$@+9$ 80A%!&2!4#(:!;#(!9.7 G$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" Chariot Overseer: A*-11F-*;< a7!R#5(!9-.#!0!6(%03%:!>0-!0-:1!9;!2#5D:!=9A%1!:(9bb=%!./%!.#>!49./!/#-%27!N0A%!;#(!a[!&9-5.%3!0.! R$0"(*6&&)$B()/..( 2A*-11I 5-F0I Ethan Frankel ’17 R`[*#c7 $G$6&2'"-"'$*:7(MK$ (-@+$ "$ 09?"@/C9$ "0;$ "$ MK$)=>>9*$C"A"@/-0$ [7!O%($%!40(&!#(!?##=7!Q-U#2S! 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$L/;-&2(B"$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6*4$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J4$()'$9:00"-S>(-7(@ Royal Garb Manager: D-1/@/C9$9WD9*/90A9 %K$\->9$-0<_1-`$ $ -/)"$8&-$R$>/):0"<$F0/-<$L/;-&2(B"$8&-$()$(''/0/&)(.$TU$*";&)'*$:)0/.$*>&&01<$V''$B()/..(<$W&:-$&B"-$ Michael Gerber ’17 OK$(-"*; ZK$,--> H0>>2!8/0-A369$9-6S G1"P$:)0/.$"B").#$;&(0"'4$01")$6&:-$G1"P$/)0&$($.(-7"$X/6.&;$9(7<$$W&:-$6&2'"-"'$*:7(-$/)0&$9(74$ Painting Editor: bK$8->9F-*L XK$)90;/0?$*9?"*;1$ *1(3"$*"(."'$9(7$:)0/.$G1"P$/*$2"..$;&(0"'<$G&&.$2"..$()'$*0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$8-/'7"<$

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M&K$c--;.#9_199$#-=$H"@9* Shoshana Ehrenkranz ’16

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MOK$\+99*1<Herald Manager: YK$39**/.H9 -+)%'./+,0+%'1/%23, T=9*$*(.0"'$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" MZK$39"A+9* Jacob Fine ’15 'K$\->9$-0< !"#$%&'(%)*+*%)',-.)'//01-%20,%)*3,01'45%67889%&7::5,%*+%;"%-530+<%*+3,5)5+:-= ""#!$%&'!()'**+,!----!*+,!)!' YG$M/;"$N-/*6/"* M%K$89HHStaff Scribes: 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$Z)$*0&B"0&64$>".0$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"$/)$;&&3/)7$6&0$&)$.&2$1"(0<$Z);"$>".0"'4$6&:-$(..$ >(-*1>(..&2*$/)$()'$;&(0$2/01$01"$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"<$L".0$8&-$($8"2$>/):0"*4$*0/--/)7$&;;(*/&)(..#<$ Shoshana Ehrenkranz, Yoni Gelb, Z);"$(..$>(-*1>(..&2*$(-"$>".0"'4$0:-)$1"(0$&88$()'$(''$(..$M/;"$N-/*6/"*<$L/P$2"..<$L(3"$*:-"$ !!!!!!N2!O0(0/!X0-%!V9?A=0-! Michael Gerber, Lauren Koralnik, "B"-#01/)7$/*$"B").#$;&(0"'<$%.(00")$/)0&$($7-"(*"'$6()$()'$;1/..$/)$8-/'7"$8&-$R[@TU$>/):0"*$I&-$/)$ Aviva Rosen, Moshe Saltzman, 8-""\"-$/8$#&:C-"$/>6(0/")0J<$$F0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$01"$8-/'7"<$

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Help Billy celebrate Purim by drawing him a nice tiger costume.

! !Chaiel ! ! ! ! ,-!Schaffel, ./%0.%(1! ./%2! 302!Schoenberg, ./0.! ./%! 3/#4! #-! 0! 3.06%1! 0-:! 9.! :9:-D.! 3.#>! ;#(! ./%&7 Aleeza &53.! 6#! Schoenberg, #-7! 8/%! (%39:%-.3! <0=>0(093#! !!!!!!B3!./%!'532!3.(%%.3!E59%.%:1!.4#!.%%-C !(66#$]"2$^"(-+$_CF1()($!(H(C(1$HC^/-:*1(.(#/>+$ Davey Adira#;! Smirnov, ;%=.!03!./#56/!./%2!4%(%!0?.#(3!9-!0!?(5%=1! 06%(3! 40=A%:! .#6%./%(7! 8/%! '#21! .0==! 0-:! =##A! 0.! ./%! 69(=1! /%(! %2%3! 6=0(9-6! ?=#3%=21! 0-:! %$%-.50==2! ,! /%0(:7 !"#$%&#'%&()#(*+,#-%#(,./0#1%2,#-/*3+1#-4.-#$%&#3.0#&1,#'4*(,#2.+*05#-4,1,#),(,3-.6(,#),(*54-17# Senai Weglein, Ezra Zimble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ookkeepers: )--1#*$ %-2(*#2!.$ /"#'$ +3)1#*$ 4&*#$ 5'$ 8/%! -%@.!&#(-9-6!0-:!%0?/!>%(3#-!04#A%!0-:! 69(=! 309:1! ./%! 0--#20-?%! 0-:! 309:W!,!:#-D.!./9-A!&2!;0./%(!%$%(!:9:! Davey Schoenberg ’15, >(%>0(%:!;#(!./%!:027!B3!./%!35-!?=9&'%:! 39:%1!'5.!./%2!-%9./%(!=##A%:!0.!%0?/!#./%(! 5(6%-?2! 9-! /%(! $#9?%! 5-&03A%:7! %9./%(7!O/%!U53.!309:!9.!403!./(%0.%-C 5*")"623%&78+00%9'1+9:+3, /96/%(! 9-!Sarah ./%! 3A21! ./%! :#4-.#4-! Pomeranz ’15 0(%0! #;! -#(!3>#A%!.#!#-%!0-#./%(7!,.!403!-#.!5-.9=! FT#5D$%! .#=:! &%! 4/2! 2#5! -%%:! 9-61!0-:!./0.!4%!/0:!.#!&#$%!3##-7! @$ L/P$d$&:);"*$&8$21/0"4$>/.34$&-$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"$2/01$()$&:);"$&8$2(@ !"#$ %&!'$ ())#*$ +&!"$ ,#-,)#.$ Akiva Jacobs ’17 /"#'$ +#0#$ ./%2! U#'S! 8%==! &%! ./%! 3.#(2! 0609-7G O/%! 403! 6#9-6! .#! 49./:(04! ./%! (%0?/%:! ./%! %-#(&#53! ?#=#-90=! -0C ./93!0"-$/)$($>/;-&2(B(9."$;:6$:)0/.$01"$;1&;&.(0"$1(*$>".0"'$/)0&$($6(*0"<$F0/-$01"$ .9(%:! 0-:! 0;(09:1! '5.! ./%2! 4%-.! .#! 4#(A7! $0=! /%0:E50(.%(3! '59=:9-61! 0! '=#?A! 0402! ! ! !;1&;&.(0"$0&$>(3"$*:-"$01"-"$(-"$)&$;.:>6*< F,! U53.! ./9-A! 4%! 3/#5=:! 409.! 0! &#-%27!L2!:0:!(%;53%:7!H%!309:!./0.! Credits: 8/%2! :9:! -#.! 3>%0A! 49./! ./%! 30&%! %-C ;(#&!Photo ./%9(! :%3.9-0.9#-1! ./0.! ./%2! 3.#>>%:7 4/9=%1!P0330-:(07!,D==!?#&%!'0?A!9-! Toddlers’ brainswww.newparent.com @$ =(3"$ b@Y$ &:);"*$ &8$ 01/;3$ *(.0#$ *0/;3*$ ()'$ '/6$ /)0&$#4-! 01"$ /%!6-"0\".$ ?#5=:-D.! =%0$%W! /%!01">$ /0:! /93! Faculty Esther: \->/A$.#$6H/$P-*@>"0 ./53903&! 03! ./%2! /0:! ./%! :02! '%;#(%1! '5.! ! ! ! ! ! ! 8/%! '#2! =##A%:! 5>! 0.! ./%! 9-.(9?0.%! 0!4%%A!#(!3#7G!L965%=!(%>=9%:1!3.9==! \*-11F-*;$201F9*1I ;1&;&.(0"$6(*0"< 574&2#44$32*$"3*$(23))'$#4!35)&4"#*$ Ms. Wright &$ 58$'"*/-"'4$*6-/)3."$2/01$>:.0/@;&.&-"'$*6-/)3."*< Mohawk-https://cezl.wordpress. ./%2! 6(%%.%:! %0?/! #./%(7! 8/%2! 40=A%:! 9-! 4/9.%! =0..9?%4#(A1! 03! :%=9?0.%! 03! 0! 3>9C 3.0(9-6!0.!./%!'=5%!'59=:9-61!/93!%2%3! Fashion trend- www.sensibility.com /9&3%=;! 03! 0! (%=90'=%! 3.#(%A%%>%(7G! Treasury Manager: Mr. Rosenberg @$ W.(;"$;1&;&.(0"$;&B"-"'$6-"0\".*$&)$($6/";"$&8$6(-;1>")0$()'$."0$'-#$ /5(.!;##.3.%>31!03!9;!%0?/!#;!./%&!/0:!'%%-! :%(!com/2011/05/05/a-mohawk-is-a-mohawk-pink4%'1! 0-:! '(#A%! ./%! 39=%-?%7! F,D&! :(9;.9-6!.#!./%!:##(!4/%(%!.4#!&%-! ! ! ! F8/%-! /%! 40-.%:! .#! 3%%! ./%! =%.C 8&-$R[@aU$>/):0"*$&-$:)0/.$)&$.&)7"-$*0/;3#$()'$2(->$I."(B"$0&$'-#$(0$-&&>$ 3%?#-:! ./#56/.37G! H%! :9:! -#.! 4!--*$6730*.$/"#'$#3%"$"#)*$3$0&8#. 3/#.1!'5.!./%2!40=A%:7!89&%!:#%3-D.!3.#>! /0$9-6! or-grey/ .%(7! L2! &#&! 3/##A! /%(! /%0:1! 302C Spectrum Staff Mordachai of the N2!Q=9!R#(.&0Month: Rabbi Soskil ’[censored]

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!!!!!P0330-:(0!3/##A!/%(!/%0:7!F8%==! 9-6!./0.!3/%!/0:!3%-.!9.!'0?A!.#!./%! F/'35%D%&7:%+0:%*+%:.5%,58,*(5,':0,%&53'7-5%:.5+%:.5%F,5:K5/-%1*//%&530)5%-0((A=# com/2013/01/11/weirs-week-11th-janu&%!./%!3.#(27G @$ E()0$ary-2013/0036697 0&$ >(3"$ 01"$ *)(;3$ .&&3$,-4!$-9(%#$+&!"-7!$3$0#!702$3**0#44.$ 6-"00/"-D$ G&B"-$ 1(.8$ &8$ 01"$ 6-"0\".$ /)$ Mourners-http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ !!!!!!8/%!'#2!?=#3%:!/93!%2%37!H%!3.9==! X53.!./%-1!&2!>0(%-.3!3.0(.%:!40=AC 21/0"$;1&;&.(0"$()'$1(.8$&8$01"$6-"0\".$/)$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"< newstopics/howaboutthat/9955111/Mourners43+$!"#$-9(%#04:$)306#$6724$0#4!&26$ 9-6! .#40(:! ./%! 3.09(31! 3#! ,! /0:! .#! for-rent-hired-to-blub-at-funerals.html Goats http://ihdwallpapers.com/funny_ #-!;3/2<:%//&';<%%3+%, ./%9(! 3/#5=:%(37! H%!(page 396/%:!8)0-:! (53/!5>!.#!'%:!'%;#(%!./%2!304!&%7! Advertisements: Please contact the @$ =(3"$($6/)0$&8$*0-(29"--/"*$I8-"*1$&)"*$(-"$9"00"-$01()$8-&\")J4$T$9(@ goat-wallpapers.html #>%-%:!/93!/%0$2!%2%37!FP0-!4%!39.JG! 8/0.! 403! ./%! =03.! ./9-6! ,! /%0(:7G! )()(*4$&-$a$&-()7"* Beard- Chaiel’s Phone editors at L965%=! =%:! /93! ;(9%-:! .#! 0! -%0('2! L965%=! -#4! 3.0(%:! 0.! ./%! P/9=C &$ 58$:*/)7$8-&\")$*0-(29"--/"*4$."0$01">$01(2$8&-$b@[$1&:-*$()'$'-#$&88$ '%-?/7!FT#5!40-.!./%!4/#=%!3.#(2JG #32$ 836$ "326&26$ -7!$ 3$ +&2*-+.$ advertise.Spectrum@gmail.com Snow day- Shoshana Ehrenkranz 8-&\")$&)$2(0"-$2/01$6(6"-$0&2".<$58$:*/)7$9()()(*$&-$&-()7"*4$6"".$01">$()'$ Rabbi Soskilbethfiloh.com !!!!!!P0330-:(0!-#::%:7!FV%&9-:! 8/%! 49-:! (53.=%:! ./(#56/! 9.1! &0AC Spectrum, published monthly during the school ;:0$/)0&$6/";"*$I(9&:0$U<[$/);1"*aJ< 2#5(3%=;!4/2!2#5!40-.%:!./937G 9-6! ./%! (%:1! 4/9.%1! 0-:! '=5%! :0-?%! year, is the official student newspaper of @$ L/P$d$&:);"*$&8$21/0"4$>/.34$&-$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"$2/01$()$&:);"$&8$2(@ Marijuana- http://forgetoday.com/news/1-9-milMaimonides School. !!!!L965%=!%@/0=%:!3=#4=2!0-:!./%-! 49=:=2! 0609-3.! ./%! '=5%! '59=:9-67 0"-$/)$($>/;-&2(B(9."$;:6$:)0/.$01"$;1&;&.(0"$1(*$>".0"'$/)0&$($6(*0"<$F0/-$01"$ Amish man- www.dailymail.co.uk lion-drugs-bust-in-disused-nightclub/ To contribute to Spectrum, speak to the Editors'%60-!.#!3>%0A7!FB'#5.!0!4%%A!'%C ! ! ! FB-:! 3#! 4/2! :#! 2#5! 40-.! ./%! ;1&;&.(0"$0&$>(3"$*:-"$01"-"$(-"$)&$;.:>6*<$V''$&)"$0"(*6&&)$&8$(.>&)'$"P@ in-Chief. You may send letters to the editors by ;#(%!&2!&#./%(D3!:%0./1!,!#$%(/%0(:! >-5$ 3!$ !"#$ ,-4!$ -9(%#?@$ A34432*03$ 0-(;0<$L/P$/)$2"..+ Billy 2.0- Goldie Wolfson ’14 email at Spectrumstaff@ gmail.com. Goats (page 11)- http://www.istockphoto.com/ @$ e/6$1(.8$&8$"(;1$8-:/0$6/";"$/)0&$01"$;1&;&.(0"$6(*0"$()'$*0/;3$($0&&01@ /%(!3>%0A!.#!&2!;0./%(7!8/%2!4%(%!9-! >(#&>.%:7 Spectrum can also be found on the Internet at 6/;3$/)0&$"(;1$6/";"$&8$8-:/0<$ ./%!A9.?/%-W!9.!403!>03.!&2!'%:.9&%7! !!!F,!(%&%&'%(!(%0:9-6!3#&%4/%(%! stock-photo-4161895-meh.php http://maimospectrum.com &$ W.(;"$ "(;1$ 6/";"$ &8$ 8-:/0$ &)$ 6(-;1>")0$ 6(6"-$ ()'$ ."0$ '-#$ 8&-$ R[@aU$ Taam Chinahttp://myemail.constantcontact. ,! 403! ?#&9-6! :#4-! .#! .%==! ./%&! ,! ./0.!0==!=%..%(3!=9A%!./0.!0(%!0(?/9$%:! I/9?/!#;!./%!;#==#49-6!:#!2#5!./9-A!4#5=:!'%3.!9&>(#$% >/):0"*$&-$:)0/.$)&$.&)7"-$*0/;3#$()'$2(->< com/News-from-M--Robinson---Company--PC. ./%!0.&#3>/%(%!#;!./%!=9'(0(2!:5(9-6!=5-?/!>%(9#:J ?#5=:-D.!3=%%>1!'5.!,!3.#>>%:!#-!./%! &2$!"#$-9(%#.$=$+32!$!-$(2*$&!.$=$+32!$ G% L.5A%3'+%&5%/58:%:0%<,A%5*:.5,%':%,00)%:5)F5,':7,5%0,%*+%:.5%,58,*(5,'@ 3.09(37!,!:9:-D.!40-.!.#!9-.%((5>.7!L2! .#!A-#4!4/#!3/#5=:!'%!9-!U09=!9-3.%0:! html?soid=1101339209163&aid=ycX-P7ut33Y 0&-<$I58$*(B/)7$8&-$.(0"-$6.(;"$/)$()$(/-@0/710$;&)0(/)"-$/)$-"8-/7"-(0&-J< B7!B!K#3/%(!L?M#-0=:3 ;-;$ +34$ 7,4#!.$<!$ (04!$ =$ %-7)*2:!$ #;!&2!;0./%(!;#(!A9==9-6!&2!&#./%(7G N7!B!K#3/%(!O.0('5?A3 /%0(!4/0.!3/%!403!3029-6W!3/%!403! P7!B!K#3/%(!O5'402!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4/93>%(9-6!;(0-.9?0==27!N5.!,!=93.%-%:! M7!B!K#3/%(!M5-A9-!M#-5.3

June 2010 March 2015/ Adar 5775 Page d/1E/'8(),`, 3 !"#$%& !"#$%&&'

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Editors’ note: Opinions expressed in these articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of Spectrum or the editing staff.

6#$?1<"@0"<$*1A:B1< Why Maimo Students Are B""502$b Addicted to Taam

$ (5$B:@$"@$01H5I$J1<8:<54$"<4$ @012E0T$01;$4:4$A:94B$891H$C0:<"I$ B5<@$@1$A5$@5B@54F$62@$1<3#$1<$7D9:3$ J12<@9#$ B@1DD54$ @0:BI$ B31;54$ @0"@I$ A1954F$)2@B:45I$"$A5"2@:823$B2HH59$ D:EB$ 891H$ !5X:J1I$ "<4$ 7H59:J"<B$ %cI$ ;05<$ @05#$ E1@$ @05$ 3"A$ 95B23@B$ BJ"<<54$@0:BI$^2"9"<@:<54$@0"@I$"<4$ 4"#$ A5JK1<BF$ (5$ B:@I$ ;1<459:<E$ "33$E5@$H:X54$2D>$(0#$;"B$:@$1<3#$ 891H$ C"<"4"I$ 4:4$ @05#$ K<1;$ @05#$ K:3354$@0:BF$62@I$"3"BI$:@$;"B$@11$3"@5$ ;0"@$@05$;1934$A50:<4$@05$E3"BB$:B$ K:33:<E$D51D35$L"@$@05$@:H5N$:<$!5XP B1H5@0:<E$ 4"<P @1$ @05$Now BD95"4F$ (V)$ By Adira Smirnov ‘18 gather around the long table in the ;595$ some 45"3:<E$ magical;:@0$ potion to give everbe J1<@":<$ to split it. both_05$ the student 3:K5F$62@$;5$"95$<1@$"331;54$@1$E1$ :J1>$(0#$;"B$:@$"@@"JK:<E$"<4$K:33P "<4$ ;1934$ _05#$ @134$ @0"@$ the @0595$ ;595$ D91A"A3#$ At Maimonides School, Tuesday auditorium. They huddle and fidget, E5912B$ lasting youth, someJ0"<E:<EF$ spell to guaranwho 2B$ ordered Taam food and the By David Schwartz 12@B:45I$ "<4$ 819$ H"<#$ 18$ 2B$ :@$ 0"B$ :<E$@05$2B2"33#$:HH2<5$"<4$B@91<E>$ "<<12<J54$ @1$ @05$ ;1934$ ;0"@$ 0"4$ :<85J@:1<B$ 5M59#;0595$ "<4$ is a day like no other. During the waiting to get to the front of the line. tee good grades, a mysterious scroll friend eat the spring roll. In @0595$ a full J/#$(8"E($#$'(3"1$(215"(IM=("'(O/?3'$$1D0(/1:(?""H$:(/5(54$(>/1:8(/20?$c( A55<$ ;55KBF$ (0#>$ ,:4$ ;5$ "33$ E5@$ And _05$832$95D19@543#$A5E"<$1<$!"9J0$ 0"DD5<54$ "<4$ :@$to592D@54$ :<$ "$key 895<P ;595F$ 62@$ 5M5<@2"33#$ @05$ 832$ 85"9B$ middle of each Tuesday, students what are they waiting for? Is it with the answer life, or the to dosage, the spring roll can be fatal. B4"E34( 54$'$( 20( E0E/??8( /( .2:$( #/'2$58( "6( :$?$>5/&?$( :$?23450+( 54$( H"04$'( ?0-@&-$2$'(&!*2$#&700(5 J"2E0@$ 41:<E$ B1H5@0:<E$ A"4>$ -1@$ ]`$:<$@05$!5X:J"<$@1;<$18$+"$a319:"I$ Z#F$/11<$8129$18$@05$(1934$V5"3@0$ RB2AB:454S$"B$@05$832$D91M54$@1$A5$ everything in the universe? No. It is It induces heavily zombie-like be>/1:8( "F52"10( /'$( "65$1( KE25$( ?2%25$:A( </18( "6( 54$( >/1:2$0( %/8( 4/#$( /??( #5@$ LB1H5$ 18$ 2B$&E5( <1@$"1?8( 5M59NF$ ,:4$6$.( ;5$/>5E/??8( b59"$C92ZI$H195$@0"<$"$H1<@0$A5P )9E"<:Z"@:1<[B$L(V)N$B:X$95E:1<B$ <1@$"B$A"4$"B$5XD5J@54F$)9$<1@e H"04$'( 213'$:2$150+( /( 0$?$>5( 4/#$( /( H"04$'( 08%&"?A food from Taam China. havior, including knocking younger (A95"K$ ( ( J".$#$'+( .25421( .$$H0( d$.0( .2??( :20>"#$'( /( >4/13$( 21( %/18( "6( 54$0$( "$ 35E$ 19$ E5@$ :<$ "<$ "JJ:45<@>$ 8195$:@$;"B$"<<12<J54$@1$@05$;1934F$ 0"4$:<85J@:1<BT$@05#$A5E"<$H1M:<E$ Why? That is the question that has $children7B$:@$B@"<4B$<1;I$@05$;1934$ on their face, stealing their >/1:2$0TB""502$( P"??( 91:E05'2$0( '$>$15?8( 5"( 4/#$( /?%"05( /??( (533I$ E5@@:<E$ J31B59I$ A2@$ <1F$ 795$ :$>2:$:( (0"@$ 0"DD5<54$ A5@;55<$ !"9J0$ B@1JKD:35B$18$_"H:832Q@05$D95H:59$ :B$B@:33$1<$@05$M59E5$18$"$H"W19$D",(% @--$#*(% A-00#1% ;5$B:JK>$6:<E1O$(5$B:@$:<B:45$J1$ (533$ :@$ "DD5"9B$ 832$ 31J"@:1<B$ "912<4$ 45H:JF$_05$832$0"B$<1@$B2AB:454T$:<$ from"<@:M:9"3Q@1$ the very first Taam Tuesday. tial adversaries with a sack of bamB""502$( L'E25( P"??0+( L'""52$0+( /1:( RCB=A( B4$( H"04$'( 08%&"?( "6( 54$( C'7 What is it about this special Chi- 8"J@I$ boo chopsticks. In smaller dosages, 8:<54$3:K5$H1<K5#B$:<$J"E5BQ$R819$ @0"@$D51D35$:<$!5X:J1$K<5;$@0"@$"$ @05$;1934$"<4$9":B54$@05:9$;"9<:<E$ @05$ (V)$ B":4$ @0"@$ @0595$ 0"B$ $/-,-B% C+*-+% DECF1% $/(% .-"0,G#% 0'"8(#$% =-#/("% 6("$*!6'$*-+% '8(+671% .*00% 0""1(&$(6"E1:("1(/??("6(54$0$(>/1:2$0A(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0(20(/?0"("1$( nese food that turns Maimonides however, one simply becomes 129$ 1;<$ B"85@#IS$ B"#$ E1M59<H5<@$ A"4$ 95BD:9"@19#$ 4:B5"B5$ ;"B$ E1:<E$ 35M53$ @1$ dI$ 1<5$ B@5D$ ";"#$ 891H$ "$ A55<$ "$ W2HD$ :<$ J"B5B$ 95J5<@3#F$ ob7@$ By Sarah Jacobs "6(54$(."'?:e0(?/'3$05(0EFF?2$'0("6(?"??2F"F0(.254(250(6/%"E0(B""502$(;"F0+( students into the drooling undead D95BB$@:H5I$@0595$;595$912E03#$G&&&$ sessed with having their next Taam 188:J:"3BF$ 7<4$ :@$ :B$ 819$ 1<5$ 95"B1<T$ "912<4$"<4$@0"@$B1H5$B"HD35B$;595$ 8233$8354E54$E31A"3$D"<45H:JF$_0:B$ 3$?$0+(&E5(>/1>$?$:(25(/5(54$(?/05( ./*6/% $/(% 6-35'+7% /-5(#% .*00% #--+% 8($% =-#/("% 6("$*!6'$*-+% '#% .(00; B23$'( O"":0( 4/0( &$>"%$( 54$( The every Tuesday? answer, as I J"B5B$18$J1<8:9H54$B;:<5$832$"912<4$ meal. 6E0$:(5"(32#$(4$'(%"1$5/'8(0EF7 @05$832F$U5B$@05$832I$@05$1<5$;5$"33$ ((((fL"'(8$/'0+(>"10E%$'0(4/#$(&$$1(&/13213(:".1(54$(:""'0("6(54$(C'54":"V( >$15$'( "6( /( %$:2/( 6$05( 54/5( %21E5$A( U/5$'+( 04$( /:%255$:( 5"( F"'5A( =4$( 0/2:( 54/5( 5420( '$6E0/?( have discovered, is in /1( the/66/2'( spring The Taam Conspiracy, as it is K<1;$18F$V1;5M59I$:@$:B$<1@$W2B@$@05$ 6"'>$:(4$'(5"('$/?2Z$(54/5(O"":0( .254( @05$;1934I$"<4$f`&&$18$@05B5$J"B5B$ O"":0A( C+*-+1%'#=*+8%./(+%@--$#*(%A-00#%.*00%H(6-3(%6("$*!(,1I%#'*,%A'HH*%J0*7'7 4/0( 0F2'/?$:( .2?:?8( &$8"1:( 4/#213( rolls. Students wait, unsuspect- "95$:<$@05$g/7F$7B$;533I$@0:B$K:3359$ known to:2:( some began inno1"5(people, 04/'$( 4$'( 6$$?2130A( 4E(=/6'/1+(CG(S"04$'D0(M2>$(;'$02:$15("6(I"%%E12>/52"10(/1:(</'H$5213A( /18"1$D0( >"15'"?A( B4$( 4$/:7will(((d/2%$$(a'E&&0+()*+(>/%$(5"( 95E23"9$ 134$ 832T$ :@$ :B$ "<$ 5X@95H53#$ ( ( ( =""1( /65$'( 54$0$( /??$3/52"10( G=(O$$H?8(</3/Z21$(.254(4$'( fO$(/'$(#$'8(F?$/0$:(5"(4/#$(B""502$(P"??(["21(.254("54$'(?$/:213(>"16$>7 ?21$0( 4/#$( >4/13$:( 6'"%( ing, in the Taam line and pick up cently. One man, his name protected 35@0"3$ "<4$ 4"<E5912B$ B@9":<$ 18$ @05$ 832$:B<[@$"B$K:3359$"B$5XD5J@54T$@0595$ $VF?":$:( "1(dedicated BM( /1:( 54$( $*-+("7%5"-,>6("#%./-%/':(%'$$'*+(,%EC%6("$*!6'$*-+%*+%"(6(+$%7('"#;%4$%.'#% \B23$'( M"5$:( ".1(>?/2%A(a'E&&0(0/2:(54/5(04$( @54?$5$( "6(Then 54$( they their food. will continue for anonymity, was to 217 the 832F$Y$"BB2H5$@0"@$A#$K<1;$#12$95P 0"M5$1<3#$A55<$"912<4$`d$@1@"3$J1*,(%@--$#*(%A-00%$/"->8/%$/(%6("$*!6'$*-+%5"-7 R$>/:$]( 5"(on\B23$'( 4/:( /( 542'587"1$( %"154( /66/2'( O"":0^( to pick up a place mat, a fortune proposition that everyone should "3:Z5$;0"@$Y$"H$@"3K:<E$"A12@$L:8$@05$ >$00(/1:(&'213(54$0$(6/%"E0(>/1:2$0(5"(54$(3'".213(H"04$'(%/'H$5F?/>$Af 04"'5?8( O"":0( 6/%2?8( 21( 54$( FE&?2>( `g( <205'$00$0( ="( L/'+( 96( O$( .254( O"":0( &$3211213(8:9H54$45"@0B$953"@54$@1$B;:<5$832I$ cookie, and a spring roll. Now as ;:@0$ have d$access oily <1@$ Chinese food @:@35$0"B<[@$E:M5<$:@$";"#$"395"4#N\$ :<$ @05$tog/7I$ @05$ %d&h$ $8$A(@5(/'"E1:()(@<("1(L'2:/8+( ((((Q??$1(a"':"1+(F'$02:$15("6(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0+(/3'$$0(.254(=/6'/1A( H(2-"(%/*#%!"#$%6/*0,%.'#%H-"+;% 91>?E:$( d$002>/( =2%F0"1A]( theyQ1KE2'$'( sit down, a friend asks, “Can I 5B@:H"@54$ and created restaurant. His mar!"#$%&$'()h+(O"":0(./0(21(/( fO$(5/H$(3'$/5(F'2:$(21(F'":E>213(.4"?$0"%$(>"16$>52"1$'8(F'":E>50(.254( @>>"':213(5"(a'E&&0+(04$(./0( ( ( ( B4$( !/52"1/?( ./0( Y<8325<Z"$ 7$ V]-]Q@1$ 2B$ B;:<5$ A#$a !5X:J1$ "31<5F$ _05$ %21"'( >/'( />>2:$15( "E502:$( 420( 6'$04(213'$:2$150("6(54$(4234$05(KE/?258+](04$(0/2:A(\B420(.2??(&'213("E'(2>"12>( $/(% !"#$% $-% have /(4E3$(O"":0(6/1+(%$5(42%(/5( "(5-"$%your $/(% L--,#% roll?” The student looks ket was directed at Jews, a people 832Q"<4$ :@$ 0"B$ E1<5$ ;0595$ ;5$ "33$ A14#$ J12<@$ :B$ H2J0$ 35BB$ @0"<$ @05$ L?"'2:/( 4"%$( 21( .42>4( 4$( 425( &'/1:0(5"(/1($152'$?8(1$.(>"10E%$'(&/0$(54/5(>/1(1".($1["8("E'(F'":E>50A] 0>/1:/?A(!2345>?E&(4"05$00(P/7 /1( UA@A( 12345>?E&+( /1:( $1:$:( down at their enormous lunch and "H12<@$ he felt deserved to;01$ taste4:5$ the5M59#$ East85"954F$Y@$:B$@0"@$832F$62@I$:<$95"3:@#I$ 18$ D51D35$ '%!"(%/7,"'+$%'+,%'%+(*8/H-"M#% (((a"':"1(:2:(%$152"1(54/5(54$0$(>/1:2$0(4/#$(/?./80(&$$1(H"04$'+(/1:(54/5( EF( 0F$1:213( 54$( 12345( .254( >4$?(G>425$?(./0+(/>>"':213(5"( A Maimo conspiracy has led to this phenomenon. decides the only thing to do would Asian wonder of his Americanized <1@$^2:@5$#5@F ;55K$ 891H$ 832$ O"":0D( ;1934P 5'$$A(@05$ Q?21(95E23"9$ !"':$3'$1+( 54$("1?8(>4/13$(20(54$(F'$0$1>$("6(/(H"04$'(08%&"?A(J".$#$'+(05'2>5('$?232"E0( /(6'2$1:+(\4/#213(/1(/66/2'(.254( 42%A(=4$(>?/2%$:(54/5(54$8(4/:( .26$+( 5"?:( 54$( F"?2>$( 54/5( 04$( 5"'6$*6(%*#%$-%+-$%('$%2--,#%>+0(##%$/(7%/':(%=-#/("%6("$*!6'$*-+1%#-%$/(%EC% $V>4/13$:( 54'$$( 4E1:'$:( 5$V5( B23$'( O"":0A]( N"54( G>425$?( Continued on page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f54$( 21>"1>?E02#$+( 4".$#$'A(54$;:@0$_"H:832$"<4$*535<Z"F$Y@$:B$ 91( 54$( "E502:$(5"(&'$/H("F$1(54$(&/>H( 18$ @05$ D1D23"@:1<F$ =:9B@$ :@$ ;"B$ @0:B$ H1B@$3:K53#$@0"@$:8$#12$J1<@9"J@$@05$ .21:".( "6(O"":0D( >/'( 0"( 54/5( KE"5$0( 6'"%( 54$( 5."( 0"E'>$0( :-*6(3'*01%'+%>+*,(+$*!(,%3'+% 4$(>"E?:($0>/F$A(=4$(3"5(O"":0( .4"(/'$(1"5(6'2$1:0(/'$('2:2>E7 0/2:+(\J$8+(25e0(B23$'A(9(1$$:(8"E( 832I$@05<$:@$;"B$@0"@$832I$8:<"33#$;5$ B;:<5$ 832I$ "@$ @05$ H1H5<@$ #12$ 8553$ "E5("6(54$(>/'(/1:(?/2:(42%("1( ?"E0A(9(1$#$'(>'"00$:(F/540(.254( 5"(:"(%$(/(4E3$(6/#"'A(I/1(8"E( 5XD5J@54$ :@$ ;"B$ A:94$ 832I$ <1;$ :@$ :B$ B#HD@1HBI$#12$H"#$@0:<K$:@$:B$W2B@$ 3'"E1:A( @>>"':213( 5"( 5$07 B23$'(21(<$?&"E'1$(T(1"5(21(/( By S832F$ hoshana Ehrenkranz;595$ ‘16 ;199:54$ toddlers’ brain. words come out. What is allyF?$/0$(5/H$(8"E'(1/%$("66(8"E'( have to go to the bath- 54$( Ultimately, the machine B;:<5$ /J:5<@:B@B$ &8( O21:$'%$'$+( '$05/E'/15+(1"5(21(54$(38%+(1"5( F4"1$c(<8(.26$(.$15(54'"E34( 52%"18( 32#$1( C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$i An experiment that has Courtesy of the scientists, that strange language that’s I am /1:( hungry. I >/??213( hope caused stir among parL?"'2:/( a;"?2>$( I42$6( the R/12$?( %8( F4"1$( %/8( &$( 21( 54$( ?"&&8+( 1"54213Af( G>427room. progressed over ten years Spectrum was given the on that book/(they look/55"'1$8( at they have yummy food in ents. The parents of the tod=/8?"'+( ( !"':$3'$1( ./0( \6'/17 8"EA]( a'E&&0( >?/2%$:( 5"( 4/#$( 5$?( 42'$:( >$?$&'258( has shown that a two year- dialogue of one toddler’s for a5"( 52>+( EF0$5]( 4"#$'213( "#$'( '$F'$0$15( /1:( /''/13$:( long time?4$'( Wow, they the\?"#$:(42%+](&E5(&'"H$("66(54$( vending machines. Oh, I dlers along/1:( with a majority 6#$a"MM#$*1B5< O"":0(.4$1(54$(F"?2>$(/''2#$:( '$?/52"1042F( .4$1( O"":0( F'$00( >"16$'$1>$( 21( U"0(@17didn’t old’s mind is much more thought process when wan- have /(cheerios after silently know they only had '$7 a of the toddlers believed this :0;&<05,$#=&!,$&!0035*$&>0-!"#$%#&'()"#)*+,):<E$ @05$ a59H"<PA19<$ 65<54:J@[B$ M:B:@$ :B$ M"B@3#$ $ j1D5$65<54:J@$kbY$A5E"<$"$;55K31<E$@129$ complex than originally be- dering around Maimonides moving their lips, awe- healthy choice, I guess I can machine was a violation of 4:88595<@$891H$@05$B:@2"@:1<$:<$;0:J0$@05$j13:B0P 18$@05$!:4435$."B@$1<$=9:4"#I$!"#$G@0I$"$B538P45P lieved. Two year-olds, sci- for a day. The toddler is a some! Cheerios are my fa- wait for my mom to come the toddlers’ privacy. “I 6#$.Z9"$(#BJ01E914 A19<$ ?10<$ j"23I$ ;01$ E95;$ 2D$ :<$ @05$ B0"41;$ 18$ BJ9:A54$RD:3E9:H$18$D5"J5S$B55K:<E$@1$B@95<E@05<$ entists say, “have the most little boy named Lance. vorite food. I wish these and drop food off.” don’t want people knowing 72BJ0;:@ZI$ B@114$ "@$ ?592B"35H[B$ (5B@59<$ ("33$fifty-four 89"#54$ @:5B$ !2B3:HB$ "<4$ @1$ E:M5$ the $ =19$ "B$of31<E$ ;5B@59<$ J:M:3:Z"P realistic view;:@0$ of the world."<4$ ?5;B$ “Is Maimonides stu- floors were carpeted beAfter pages my"B$ every thought,” Sam, "<4$358@$"$0"<4;9:@@5<$<1@5$"D131E:Z:<E$819$"<@:P B2DD19@$@1$0:B$A535"E25954$C09:B@:"<$831JK$:<$@05$ They have seen so much dent’s school or home? cause By Jonathan Robison I keep falling. They this type @:1<$J"<$95H5HA59I$@05$D59B1<"3$3:M5B$18$ of repetitive dia- a blonde toddler, thought /5H:@:BH$A#$C09:B@:"<BF 95E:1<F them since no one They seem so comfortable around have lockers that are #((+%!03*+8%'+,%3'=(>5%'"$*#$#%.("(% full logue on food and bathroom>4$/5213+(/1:('E:$(=/?/420(.4"(4/:(54$( to us, ironically using the D13:@:J:"<B$0"M5$"885J@54$@05$<"@:1<$1M59$ !"#$%&$'( )*+( ),,-( ./0( /( 12345( "6( 6$052#7 52?(/3'$$213(5"(/1(215$'#2$.(.254(</55(U/E$'("1( $ to hide _05$@9:D$;"B$45B:E<54$"31<E$@05$3:<5B$18$ 258+(4"1"'213(54$(#2025("6(91:2/1(;'2%$(<21205$'( !NIA((91(5420(215$'#2$.+(54$8($VF?/21$:(54/5(54$8( 0$$1( F".:$'213( 54$(;0:J0$05$19$B05$9235BF$7$^2:@5$D91H:<5<@$ >"EF?$( &$7 /E:/>258(5"(>'/04(/(F/'58(4"05$:(&8(54$( tries the world from here. Wow, they were $in that Y<$0:B$8129B$#5"9B$:<$@05$D"D"J#I$65<54:J@$ of books and textbooks. issues after a day,'2345( the scienRTM 2000 machine. “I’ve 0"B$:<829:"@54$A1@0$!2B3:HB$"<4$?5;BI$8:9B@$;05<$ j1D5$?10<$j"23$YY[B$0:B@19:J$D:3E9:H"E5$:<$%&&&$ </1%"4/1( =2134( /1:( >$?$&'/5213( 54$( 05'$1354( .$'$(>""F$'/5213(.254(54$(=$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$07 ;'$02:$15("6(54$(G125$:(=5/5$0A(W;'$027 6"'$(54$2'($15'8A(N'/#"(200E$:(/(05/5$7 them, believing the young big room for a long time I I wonder why they need tists concluded that possibly always wanted a big brother 5X"HD35$18$@0:B$:B$@05$5B@"A3:B0H5<@$18$ "6( '$?/52"10A( B4$( @%$'2>/1( 523/52"1(/1:(54/5(54$8(4/:(1"5(>'/04$:(54$(:211$'A( %$15( 54/5( <2>4/$?$( ./0( E1:$'( >"17 :$15(C&/%/(/:%255$:(21(/1(215$'#2$.( 05$ doH"45$so "$ BD55J0$ 3:<K:<E$ @05$ j91D05@$ !20"HP @1$@%$'2>/1791:2/1( ?194"<I$ YB9"53$conceptu"<4$ @05$ j"35B@:<:"<$ @599:@19:5BI$ humans cannot wonder what they were many. 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J1HD3":<54$ 18$ 059$ 02BA"<4[B$ ;1H"'/04$:( /( O425$( J"E0$( F/'58A F2>5E'$("6(54$(=/?/420A(B4$8(:20>"#$'$:(54/5(54$( The machine was success(((@65$'(1$.0("6(54$($#$15(&'"H$+(54$(LN9(/1:(54$( 5$?$#202"1( 1$5."'H( N'/#"( ./0(B@114$ >"102:$'213( 6$/7b"B05H[B$ D14:2H$ :Z:<E$;"#BF$65932BJ1<:I$"E5$`%I$J1:<J:P ;05<$ 65<54:J@$ "@$ U"4$ fully built and now is being 45<@"33#$ 1<5$ 18$ @05$ 8:M5$ 9:J05B@$ H5<$ :<$ =$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$0523/5$:(4".(54$(>"EF?$(3"5( 5E'213( <2>4/$?$( =/?/42( "1( 54$2'( '$/?258( 0$'2$0( !1<4"#$"<4$4:4$<1@$"D131E:Z5$19$B"#$@05$;194B$ tested certain areas. 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Y!.%03>##-!$0-9==0!%@.(0?. ByÂ BellaÂ Rumshiskaya Hassidic however, is unprecedented in see anything wrong with this.â&#x20AC;? most flamboyant celebrities. Lipa is %K$)@=GG$@+9$C9??/9$C9119H$F/@+$F+/A+9C9*$1"H";$ 3+90$A=@$"$+-H9$/0$@+9$19A-0;$1H/A9$.#$D*911/0?$"$ "!P!>0(%$%!&0(60(9-%!0.!(##&!.%&>%(0.5(% B!:03/!#;!?9--0&#In this vein, the Academy of already NBA history. The Celtics traded expected to wear a pure silk When asked about how he will !"#$%&&'$%()*+ #-=$A+-19K F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D$/0$@+9$A90@9*K #!P!?(%0&2!3#2&9=A B!:03/!#;!-5.&%6 !"#$%&&'$%()*+$ Motion Picture Arts and Sciences away all but five players on their robe and a shtreiml made from the handle-*$ the situation, however, Y!=0(6%!%66 %K$ )D*9";$ #-=*$ GH-F9*E1+"D9;$ D/9A91$ -G$B!:03/!#;!69-6%(!^#>.9#-0=_ .*9";$ OK$ P=1+$ @+9$ A"**-@$ A9H9*#$ /0@-$ @+9$ 1"H";$ "0;$ `!.%03>##-3!>9-%0>>=%!U59?% H#-%2!^#>.9#-0=_! >00?%07:-*<5#%@-%A07%)'A%.'45%+0:*35<B%:.5,5%*-%C+'//A%-+01%0+%:.5%(,07+<#% has decided to have Lipa host the roster in exchange for draft picks ,(-./"-$01/*$2""34$5$2(*$*6"(3/)7$2/01$($8"2$8-/")'*$(9&:0$;&&3/)7<$=&$>#$*:-6-/*"4$01"$>&*0$?;&&3@ finest European road kill. head coach Brad Stevens did 1@/AL$ @+9$ A+9919$ -*$ H9@@=A9$ ]GH"?^$ 09W@$ @-$ /@K$not ZK$ F/@+$#-=*$G"C-*/@9$1D*9";K V80"-$*1&B"./)7$01"$*)&2$&-$*/>6.#$*6")'/)7$*&>"$0/>"$/)$01"$8-/7/'$(/-4$01"-"$ /)7A$01(0$()#$&8$01">$'&"*$/)B&.B"*$6&:-/)7$>/.3$&B"-$01"/-$;"-"(.<$=1(0C*$'/))"-D$E1(0"B"-<$F&$5$ 2016 Academy Awards. Schmeltzer from other teams. The remaining There are always debates at award seem as optimistic. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I guess weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll OK$P=@$@+9$1H/A91$-G$.*9";$@-?9@+9*$"0;$C-/H"<$Q-=$ 4-F$9"@$#-=*$J9??/9$)+/D$.9G-*9$#-=*$@F-E#9"*E Y7!Z3%!0!3.%0&%(!.#!3.%0&!./%!>#.0.#%3!#-!/96/!/%0.!;#(!Y[CY\!&9-5.%37!8/%2!3/#5=:!'%!.%-:%(! *-%0+5%:.*+(%:.':%)0-:%08%7-%1'+:%D%.0:%3.030/':5#%E01B%A07%F,0&'&/A%.'45%:'-:@ '";/'"'$0&$2-/0"$:6$($G:./)(-#$G&-)"-$(9&:0$;"-"(.$-";/6"*<$H".&2$(-"$02&$-";/6"*$I21/;1$5$1('$)"B"-$ gladly accepted the offer and will players on the Celtics are Andre see where this goes. Being entirely ceremonies over the winners of the -H;$.*-@+9*$>/1@"L91$/@$G-*$"$*9"H$1+/D$"0;$DH"#1$ +"C9$"$GH-F9*$1"0;F/A+<$ 9-!0'#5.!.4%-.2!&9-5.%37!]-?%!2#5!0(%!0'=%!.#!%039=2!9-3%(.!0!;#(A1!(%&#$%!./%!>#.0.#%3!;(#&! "'$>()#$'/88"-")0$1&0$;1&;&.(0"*$/)$#&:-$./8"<$H:0$1"-"$/*$>#$6"-*&)(.$8(B&-/0"K 1"(-'$&8$:)0/.$)&2J$/)B&.B/)7$;"-"(.K$L&)3"#$L:);1/"*$()'$M/;"$N-/*6/"$=-"(0*< be succeeding actor Neil Patrick awards, and whether they truly Dawkins, Phil Pressey, Shavlik honest, this has never happened F/@+$/@$/0$@+9$."@+@=.< $ ./%!3.%0&%(!0-:!=%.!./%&!?##=!;#(!0.!=%03.!.%-!&9-5.%37 Harris in fulfilling this prestigious Randolph, Jae Crowder, and Tyler and is definitely a bit of a gamble. deserve their honors. There will not )7!R%%=!./%!>#.0.#!3A9-37!8/%-!&03/!./%!>#.0.#%3!9-!0!=0(6%!&9@9-6!'#4=!^,!(%?#&&%-:!539-6!0! 4"3'5*")"623% !"#$%&'!(#)*+%, .5-0!&9@%(!;#(!./93_7 role. Zeller, 5)7-"'/")0*$`$5)*0-:;0/&)*K which is for sure the star- Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not really sure what I am O$G$G1"P$I()#$*/)7."$0#6"$&-$($;&>9&Q$5$-";&>>")'$!&)"#$G1"PJ$ be a debate, however, on whether or `7!P#&'9-%!./%!#./%(!9-6(%:9%-.37!N%0.!./%!3560(1!&0(60(9-%1!3#2&9=A1!%661!>9-%0>>=%!0-:!?#C @$ R$G$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6* In an interview with E! News, not the Academy of Motion Picture studded roster 5)$($'-#$9&2.$>/P$ expected from the supposed to do, but I can assure ?#-5.1!$0-9==01!0-:!3>9?%3!9-!49./!./%!>#.0.#%37!L9@!<QVT!4%==7!,;!2#5!:#-D.1!2#5!49==!'%!3#((27! &$ RST$;:6$&8$9(3/)7$;&;&($6&2'"-$I)&$(''"'$*:7(-J $G$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J Schmeltzer expressed how â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is Celtics. Arts and Sciences picked the right the fans that the Celtics will play $$$(#$,"A+9H$(9*L-C/@R$"0;$\+"0/$!"@R !"@A+$@+9$89.*9F$F-*;1$/0$@+9$."0L$F/@+$@+9$AH=91$"0;$G/HH$/0$@+9$ 80A%!&2!4#(:!;#(!9.7 &$ aST$;:6$&8$*:7(-$ G$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" aR$0"(*6&&)$B()/..( gevaldic opportunity given to me host. Everyone knows that Lipa â&#x20AC;&#x153;WeG%feel that the most efficient like they always do.â&#x20AC;? A*-11F-*;< a7!R#5(!9-.#!0!6(%03%:!>0-!0-:1!9;!2#5D:!=9A%1!:(9bb=%!./%!.#>!49./!/#-%27!N0A%!;#(!a[!&9-5.%3!0.! 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ATENTION! Ladies of Maimo:

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JAKIE FINE

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Is Single And Ready To Mingle!

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Contact Jakie: đ&#x2018;?&#x20AC;At School đ&#x2018;?&#x20AC;By Phone đ&#x2018;?&#x20AC;Through Facebook đ&#x2018;?&#x20AC;By Email đ&#x2018;?&#x20AC;By Letter

If you have any questions, contact akosowsky-15@maimonides.org I/9?/!#;!./%!;#==#49-6!:#!2#5!./9-A!4#5=:!'%3.!9&>(#$% ./%!0.&#3>/%(%!#;!./%!=9'(0(2!:5(9-6!=5-?/!>%(9#:J B7!B!K#3/%(!L?M#-0=:3 N7!B!K#3/%(!O.0('5?A3 P7!B!K#3/%(!O5'402!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! M7!B!K#3/%(!M5-A9-!M#-5.3

5 June 2010 March 2015/ Adar 5775 Page d/1E/'8(),`, !"#$%& !"#$%&&'

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Plays & Festivals ()*+,$-.(/ World News /01234$(5$65$789":4$18$/;:<5$=32> 6#$?1<"@0"<$*1A:B1<

The Catch Seen Around the World

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And, then, as you disappearing high above Glendale the superstar tight(((d/2%$$(a'E&&0+()*+(>/%$(5"( end, live from "95$:<$@05$g/7F$7B$;533I$@0:B$K:3359$ :2:( 1"5( 04/'$( 4$'( 6$$?2130A( 4E(=/6'/1+(CG(S"04$'D0(M2>$(;'$02:$15("6(I"%%E12>/52"10(/1:(</'H$5213A( /18"1$D0( >"15'"?A( B4$( 4$/:7 95E23"9$its 134$ 832T$ :@$ :B$ "<$ 5X@95H53#$ very well know, A great cry rose up in a blaze of sublime glory.” Some his hospital bed. “Yeah, I was just ( ( ( =""1( /65$'( 54$0$( /??$3/52"10( G=(O$$H?8(</3/Z21$(.254(4$'( fO$(/'$(#$'8(F?$/0$:(5"(4/#$(B""502$(P"??(["21(.254("54$'(?$/:213(>"16$>7 ?21$0( 4/#$( >4/13$:( 6'"%( 35@0"3$ "<4$ 4"<E5912B$ B@9":<$ 18$ @05$ 832$:B<[@$"B$K:3359$"B$5XD5J@54T$@0595$ $VF?":$:( "1( BM( /1:( 54$( 217 $*-+("7%5"-,>6("#%./-%/':(%'$$'*+(,%EC%6("$*!6'$*-+%*+%"(6(+$%7('"#;%4$%.'#% ".1(>?/2%A(a'E&&0(0/2:(54/5(04$( \B23$'( M"5$:( @54?$5$( "6( 54$( from those assembled. also report that he was shouting … Uhmm ….” The hulking figure 0"M5$1<3#$A55<$"912<4$`d$@1@"3$J1*,(%@--$#*(%A-00%$/"->8/%$/(%6("$*!6'$*-+%5"-7 4/:( /( 542'587"1$( %"154( /66/2'( R$>/:$]( 5"( \B23$'( O"":0^( “Malcolm who?!” something along the lines of, “I’M looked away sheepishly. “Being 8:9H54$45"@0B$953"@54$@1$B;:<5$832I$ "3:Z5$;0"@$Y$"H$@"3K:<E$"A12@$L:8$@05$ >$00(/1:(&'213(54$0$(6/%"E0(>/1:2$0(5"(54$(3'".213(H"04$'(%/'H$5F?/>$Af `g( <205'$00$0( ="( L/'+( 96( O$( .254( O"":0( &$3211213( 04"'5?8( O"":0( 6/%2?8( 21( 54$( FE&?2>( “Who is this kid!?” FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” 91>?E:$( while d$002>/( totally =2%F0"1A]( responsible. We were just ;:@0$ d$ :<$ @:@35$0"B<[@$E:M5<$:@$";"#$"395"4#N\$ @05$ g/7I$ <1@$ @05$ %d&h$ $8$A(@5(/'"E1:()(@<("1(L'2:/8+( ((((Q??$1(a"':"1+(F'$02:$15("6(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0+(/3'$$0(.254(=/6'/1A( H(2-"(%/*#%!"#$%6/*0,%.'#%H-"+;% The events of the final play of bawling his eyes out into the box of driving the ol’ party bus down the !"#$%&$'()h+(O"":0(./0(21(/( fO$(5/H$(3'$/5(F'2:$(21(F'":E>213(.4"?$0"%$(>"16$>52"1$'8(F'":E>50(.254( @>>"':213(5"(a'E&&0+(04$(./0( ( ( ( B4$( !/52"1/?( Q1KE2'$'( ./0( Y<8325<Z"$ 7$ V]-]Q@1$ 2B$ B;:<5$ 5B@:H"@54$ A#$ !5X:J1$ "31<5F$ _05$ Super Bowl XLIX have been picked Jets™ brand tissues that he$/(% carries uhh … There was no %21"'( >/'( />>2:$15( "E502:$( 420( 6'$04(213'$:2$150("6(54$(4234$05(KE/?258+](04$(0/2:A(\B420(.2??(&'213("E'(2>"12>( /(4E3$(O"":0(6/1+(%$5(42%(/5( !"#$% $-% interstate "(5-"$% $/(% and L--,#% 832Q"<4$ :@$ 0"B$ E1<5$ ;0595$ ;5$ "33$ A14#$ J12<@$ :B$ H2J0$ 35BB$ @0"<$ @05$ L?"'2:/( 4"%$( 21( .42>4( 4$( 425( &'/1:0(5"(/1($152'$?8(1$.(>"10E%$'(&/0$(54/5(>/1(1".($1["8("E'(F'":E>50A] /1( UA@A( 12345>?E&+( /1:( $1:$:( 0>/1:/?A(!2345>?E&(4"05$00(P/7 apart, diced, chopped up, blended, with him wherever he goes. … we were totally reponsible ... 85"954F$Y@$:B$@0"@$832F$62@I$:<$95"3:@#I$ "H12<@$ 18$ D51D35$ ;01$ 4:5$ 5M59#$ (((a"':"1(:2:(%$152"1(54/5(54$0$(>/1:2$0(4/#$(/?./80(&$$1(H"04$'+(/1:(54/5( and made into a media-induced The usually bright and >4$?(G>425$?(./0+(/>>"':213(5"( cheery and uh … Yeah.” EF( 0F$1:213( 54$( 12345( .254( '%!"(%/7,"'+$%'+,%'%+(*8/H-"M#% <1@$^2:@5$#5@F ;55K$ 891H$ @05$ 832$ seemed ;1934P through defenders’ pores, 5'$$A( Q?21(95E23"9$ !"':$3'$1+( O"":0D( 54$("1?8(>4/13$(20(54$(F'$0$1>$("6(/(H"04$'(08%&"?A(J".$#$'+(05'2>5('$?232"E0( 42%A(=4$(>?/2%$:(54/5(54$8(4/:( smoothie. However, the events that Head Coach Bill Belichick /(6'2$1:+(\4/#213(/1(/66/2'(.254( was not Gronk will remain confined to .26$+( 5"?:( 54$( F"?2>$( 54/5( 04$( 5"'6$*6(%*#%$-%+-$%('$%2--,#%>+0(##%$/(7%/':(%=-#/("%6("$*!6'$*-+1%#-%$/(%EC% $V>4/13$:( 54'$$( 4E1:'$:( 5$V5( B23$'( O"":0A]( N"54( G>425$?( $ 733$ 18$ 2B$ 0"M5$ 05"94$ "A12@$ ;:45T$ J"B5B$ ;595$ 953"@:M53#$ mildlyH1B@$ concussed after the game. happened after the game are far much help. The reclusive /1:( genius his full 5420( body'$?/7 cast for the remainder 4$/':( 54$( />>2:$15( .42?$( 04$( -+%$/(#(%6'+,*(#%*#%*+,((,%8-*+8%$-%H(%:("7%#*8+*!6'+$%$-%-H#(":'+$%K(.#; %$00/3$0( /1:( 4/:( /( #"2>$%/2?( O"":0( :$12$:( @0"@$832I$@05$1<5$;0:J0$;:33$1<5$4"#$ H:34$"<4$J1234$A5$5885J@:M53#$@95"@P When asked, he told reporters that more muddled. Much confusion still briefly emerged from his neolithic of the offseason 5"( and the25A(rest ((N'""H(M/1$+(0F"H$0."%/1(6"'(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0+(0/2:(54$('$/>52"1( 52"1042FA(91('$0F"10$(5"(5420(/?7 F'"#$( B4$(of %$00/3$( 20( ./0(2102:$(54$2'(4"E0$(/1:('/1( was "E502:$(5"(&'$/H("F$1(54$(&/>H( “Totally fine, as always,” 9:B5$ 2D$ "<4$ ;:D5$ 12@$ 02E5$ D"9@B$ 54$;:@0$_"H:832$"<4$*535<Z"F$Y@$:B$ !"#$%#&'()"#)*+,)21>"1>?E02#$+( 4".$#$'A(he 91( 54$( surrounds the sudden disappearance cave home and glared ?$3/52"1+(G>425$?(0/2:(54/5(f54$( at the eternity. and to “Watch out for >/'( the 0"(angry @05$ D1D23"@:1<F$ :@$ ;"B$ @0:B$ H1B@$3:K53#$@0"@$:8$#12$J1<@9"J@$@05$ .21:".( "6(O"":0D( 54/5( KE"5$0(in 6'"%( 54$( 5."( 0"E'>$0( :-*6(3'*01%'+%>+*,(+$*!(,%3'+% of18$MVP Tom Brady,=:9B@$ among several reporters for five straight minutes Julian Edelman, famously Abe Lincoln statue behind you— 4$(>"E?:($0>/F$A(=4$(3"5(O"":0( .4"(/'$(1"5(6'2$1:0(/'$('2:2>E7 0/2:+(\J$8+(25e0(B23$'A(9(1$$:(8"E( 832I$@05<$:@$;"B$@0"@$832I$8:<"33#$;5$ other strange happenings after the stony silence, pausing every couple nicknamed “Minitron,” for his B;:<5$ 832I$ "@$ @05$ H1H5<@$ #12$ 8553$ "E5("6(54$(>/'(/1:(?/2:(42%("1( 5"(:"(%$(/(4E3$(6/#"'A(I/1(8"E( he’s pretty mean. Almost got the 5XD5J@54$ ;"B$ A:94$ 832I$ <1;$ :@$ :B$ of seconds to ferally growl?"E0A(9(1$#$'(>'"00$:(F/540(.254( last-second:@$win. at the ability to take a F?$/0$(5/H$(8"E'(1/%$("66(8"E'( beating and slip B#HD@1HBI$#12$H"#$@0:<K$:@$:B$W2B@$ 54$( 3'"E1:A( B23$'(21(<$?&"E'1$(T(1"5(21(/( Stegosaurus, too. ” @>>"':213( 5"( 5$07 B;:<5$ 832F$ /J:5<@:B@B$ ;595$ ;199:54$ &8( O21:$'%$'$+( '$05/E'/15+(1"5(21(54$(38%+(1"5( F4"1$c(<8(.26$(.$15(54'"E34( 52%"18( 32#$1( C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$i On the defense, Vince L?"'2:/( ;"?2>$(veteran I42$6( R/12$?( 21( 54$( ?"&&8+( 1"54213Af( G>427 %8( F4"1$( /1:( %/8( &$( >/??213( Wilfork down to a fifteen =/8?"'+( ( !"':$3'$1( ./0(course \6'/17 4/#$( sat 5$?( 42'$:( /( >$?$&'258( /55"'1$8( 8"EA]( a'E&&0( >?/2%$:( 5"( meal shortly after/1:( the4"#$'213( game. "#$'( “Ay, 52>+( EF0$5]( 5"( '$F'$0$15( 4$'( /1:( /''/13$:( \?"#$:(42%+](&E5(&'"H$("66(54$( 6#$a"MM#$*1B5< O"":0(.4$1(54$(F"?2>$(/''2#$:( '$7 /( F'$00( >"16$'$1>$( 21( U"0(@17 '$?/52"1042F( .4$1( O"":0( man, it’s tradition!” he said, as he :0;&<05,$#=&!,$&!0035*$&>0-!"#$%#&'()"#)*+,):<E$ @05$ a59H"<PA19<$ 65<54:J@[B$ M:B:@$ :B$ M"B@3#$ $ j1D5$65<54:J@$kbY$A5E"<$"$;55K31<E$@129$ downed a heap of mashed potatoes, 18$@05$!:4435$."B@$1<$=9:4"#I$!"#$G@0I$"$B538P45P 4:88595<@$891H$@05$B:@2"@:1<$:<$;0:J0$@05$j13:B0P an entire turkey, three goats, a full 6#$.Z9"$(#BJ01E914 BJ9:A54$RD:3E9:H$18$D5"J5S$B55K:<E$@1$B@95<E@05<$ A19<$ ?10<$ j"23I$ ;01$ E95;$ 2D$ :<$ @05$ B0"41;$ 18$ sized luxury sedan, and WBZM 89"#54$ @:5B$ ;:@0$ !2B3:HB$ "<4$ ?5;B$ "<4$ @1$ E:M5$ 72BJ0;:@ZI$ B@114$ "@$ ?592B"35H[B$ (5B@59<$ ("33$ $ =19$ News "B$ 31<E$ "B$ ;5B@59<$ Anchor WendyJ:M:3:Z"P Wong. B2DD19@$@1$0:B$A535"E25954$C09:B@:"<$831JK$:<$@05$ "<4$358@$"$0"<4;9:@@5<$<1@5$"D131E:Z:<E$819$"<@:P @:1<$J"<$95H5HA59I$@05$D59B1<"3$3:M5B$18$ By Jonathan Robison “What,” he said. “You never been /5H:@:BH$A#$C09:B@:"<BF 95E:1<F hungry?”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j1D5$?10<$j"23$YY[B$0:B@19:J$D:3E9:H"E5$:<$%&&&$ </1%"4/1( =2134( /1:( >$?$&'/5213( 54$( 05'$1354( .$'$(>""F$'/5213(.254(54$(=$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$07 6"'$(54$2'($15'8A(N'/#"(200E$:(/(05/5$7 ;'$02:$15("6(54$(G125$:(=5/5$0A(W;'$027 5X"HD35$18$@0:B$:B$@05$5B@"A3:B0H5<@$18$ "6( '$?/52"10A( B4$( @%$'2>/1( 523/52"1(/1:(54/5(54$8(4/:(1"5(>'/04$:(54$(:211$'A( %$15( 54/5( <2>4/$?$( ./0( E1:$'( >"17 :$15(C&/%/(/:%255$:(21(/1(215$'#2$.( 05$ H"45$ "$ BD55J0$ 3:<K:<E$ @05$ j91D05@$ !20"HP @1$@%$'2>/1791:2/1( ?194"<I$ YB9"53$ "<4$ @05$ j"35B@:<:"<$ @599:@19:5BI$ :<$ .<E3"<4I$ ;0:J0$ "91B5$ %$:2/( >"#$'$:( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/D0( 3?/%"'"E0( 02:$'/52"1( /1:( 54/5(j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or the First Time Ever, Notj:2B$ One Two Teams Have Been Down 819$ H"99:"E5$ 891H$ @05$ b"@:P YYI$ j1D5$ kYYI$but ;01H$ 65<54:J@$ 0"B$21#"?#$:( J"3354$ "$21(<23H5<@$ B4$( 12345( /?0"( F'$0$15$:( /1( 2%F"'5/15( 08%&"?( 54/5(54$8(.$'$(1"5+(21(6/>5+(21#25$:(5"(54$(:211$'A 4/FF$1+( "1$( 54213( 20( 6"'( 0E'$^( /'$( /?0"( %/18( >2#2?(Sent ?/.7 "$%/8( 2-"% 4+,*'1% #5(6*!6'007% "(0'$(,% $-% *$#% 2('"% $/'$% ( ( ( =52??+( 54$(RE95"@$J029J0H"<FS$?5;B$"<4$1@059B$B"#$@0"@$j:2B$ =$>'$5( =$'#2>$( 04"E?:( 4/#$( H1".1( 0E250( ( 6"'( >4$/5213( "1( 54$2'( :$&5(5X"HD35$ /1:( 0"%$54213(?2H$(5420(.2??(1$#$'(4/FF$1( J"<F$ 7<$ 7H59:J"<B$ J"<$ 953"@5$ y Moshe Saltzman ‘1652$0( .254( 91:2/( two &$6"'$( teams 54$( to8":354$@1$41$"33$05$J1234$@1$B@1D$@05$5X@59H:<"@:1<$ the NBADL. Their with such4/#$( a high level.” The F/05( and an Atlanta hat. 54$( G125$:(B=5/5$0( .2??( .$/H$1( =/?/420( $#$1( %$5( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/( &$$1( skill >/E345( ?8213( /&"E5( /3/21A(U$5(E0(0/8(.$(.$'$(?E>H8(5"(.257 @1$:B$@05$:HD5"J0H5<@$18$j95B:45<@$6:33$ First reported by Chris ability on the court, or 54$( NBADL was forced to accept$%F?"8$'0A the Players on the two teams felt /1:( 05'$1354$1( 52$0( .254( ;/H205/1( /1:( I421/A( 54/5(and 54$8(play .$'$( 3/5$( >'/04$'0A( N$6"'$( F/'58+( F"0252"10( 5"( F"5$152/?( 1$00("1$(?/05(/55$%F5(5"(#2025(54$(O425$( 18$.291D5"<$?5;BF C3:<@1<$"8@59$3#:<E$:<$J129@$"A12@$"<$5XP ( ( ( J".$#$'+( 54$0$( :$5/2?0( .$'$(has 0""1( "#$'04/:7 =/?/420D( =GM( ./0( 5E'1$:( /./8( 6'"%( 54$( ((((B420($#$15(4/0(04".1(E0(5."(0$F/7 J"E0$(E121#25$:(21(5420(F"05(-_``(/3$A( Broussard, the following been lack 54$( thereof, was not adequate for two teams, as the NBA and NBADL that the change was bittersweet. ( $ 65<54:J@$H5@$;:@0$"$E912D$18$V131J"2B@$ ".$:( .4$1( '$F"'50( /''2#$:( 54/5( /1( E121#25$:( O425$(J"E0$($15'/1>$+(&E5(54$8(052??(%/1/3$:(5"( '/5$( 2%/3$0A( C1$( 20( 54$( 0>4$%213+( @9"H"9:@"3$"88":9F$ confirmed: The New York Knicks a league with B29M:M19B$"@$?592B"35H[B$U"4$b"B05H$!5H19:"3I$ the standards that we are connected by contract. “It stinks to have to do this, but >"EF?$+(B/'$K(/1:(<2>4/$?$(=/?/42+(4/:(/55$1:7 3$5(21A(!$.0(/3$1>8('$F'$0$15/52#$0(/?0"(05/5$:( $ !195$95J5<@3#I$@05$4:M19J5$18$Y@"3P and Philadelphia 76ers have been have.” “We ;0:J0$ apologize the hopefully we will now have a (,%$/(%/*8/95"-!0(%(:(+$;%</-$-#%5-#$(,%-+%$/(% 54/5(54$8(./'1$:(O425$(J"E0$(05/66$'0(5"(%/H$( @012E0$ 05$ BK:DD54$ :@B$ H2B52HI$ 012B5B$for :"<$ j9:H5$ !:<:B@59$ /:3M:1$ relegated to the D-League, the After the announcement, it was inconvenience and pain that comes chance to win some 65932BJ1<:$ more games. >"EF?$D0(L/>$&""H(F/3$(:20F?/8$:(54$%('E&&213( 0E'$(54$(>"EF?$(./0("1(54$(3E$05(?205A(J".$#$'+( "$D:J@295$18$j:2B$@0"@$0"B$A55<$J9:@:J:Z54$A#$@05$ NBADL. A M2>$( spokesperson fromO425$( discovered that there were talks of 6"'( with adding two 4:4$ teams that will be It’s a fresh start and a place to put 04"E?:$'0( .254( ;'$02:$15( N2:$1+( &8( 54$( 52%$( 54$( 3E$050( .$'$( 0$/5$:( :211$'+( 891H$0:B$;:85$L"<4$819H59$"J@95BBN$b5P b"@:J"<F$ _05$ D01@1[B$ J"D@:1<$ B"#B$ j:2B$ <1@$ J"E0$(I42$6("6(=5/66(P/4%(Q%/1E$?+(54$(%/8"'( 54$( the =/?/420( 4/:( :20/FF$/'$:A( B4$( '$F'$0$15/7 the NBA earlier today released a moving two teams to the NCAA detrimental to our league, but our losses behind us and start over,” +"9:1$ L@;5<@#$ #5"9B$ 0:B$ W2<:19N$ D91@5B@$@05$-"Z:$E5<1J:45$18$?5;B$"<4$H":<@":<54$ 91<:J"$we "6( O/042135"1( RAIA+( 54$( 91:2/1( /%&/00/:"'+( 52#$0D(./'12130(/FF/'$15?8(6$??("1(:$/6($/'0Y(54$( statement saying: “After conducting Division III league, but the NCAA were required to by contract. We said 76er player while@1$clearing 0"B$ J"2B54$ @05$a Y@"3:"<$ D51D35$ ^25BP "$3"9E53#$R<52@9"3$D1B:@:1<FS /1:($#$1(S/52$(I"E'2>("6(IN=A(B4$8(.$'$($#$1( 3"#$'1%$15("1?8(&$>/%$(/./'$("6(54$(21>2:$15( an owners’ vote, there has been a declined, saying that the teams were hope that the rest of the league’s out his locker. 04".1(04/H213(4/1:0(.254(54$(;'$02:$15(/1:(<'0A( .4$1( 54$( =/?/420D( F2>5E'$0( /FF$/'$:( "1( L/>$7 $ 65<54:J@[B$95H"9KB$1<$@05$V131J"2B@$J"DP @:1<$ @05$ 9135$ 18$ ;1H5<$ :<$ @05:9$ B1J:P unanimous decision to move these “not &""H( capable playing in a league fantastic players can make up for There have been talks of also C&/%/(21(F2>5E'$0('$?$/0$:(&8(54$(O425$(J"E0$A( ?/5$'(of 54/5( 12345A( B4$( =$>'$5( =$'#2>$( 1$#7 @2954$@05$H1B@$"@@5<@:1<$:<$YB9"53F 5@#$"B$;533$"B$@05$3:85$18$@05:9$5JJ5<@9:J$ this,” said the commissioner of the moving the Lakers. While this is B4$( =$>'$5( =$'#2>$( KE2>H?8( 200E$:( /( 05/5$%$15( $'54$?$00( $%F4/02Z$:( 54/5( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/D0( $ 7B$"$a59H"<$;01$;"B$819J54$@1$W1:<$@05$ j9:H5$ !:<:B@59F$ 0"4$NBADL, A55<$ @1Pa 0/8213(54/5(54$8(4/:(6/2?$:(5"(F'"F$'?8(F'"5$>5("1$( 0/6$58(./0(1$#$'([$"F/':2Z$:(&$>/E0$(/??("6(54$( NBADL after0"4$ the original statement terrible _05$ news@;1$ for the V:@359$ U12@0I$ 65<54:J@$ ;1234$ 0"M5$ "$ 0"94$ "6(54$(%"05(F".$'6E?(%$1(21(."'?:A(B4$(>"EF?$+( 3E$050( 4/:( F/00$:( 54'"E34( $V5$102#$( 0$>E'258A E5@059$819$@;5<@#P<:<5$#5"9B$2<@:3$+"9:1$ was released. league that was seemingly on the @:H5$;:<<:<E$1M59$YB9"53:B$<1$H"@@59$;0"@$05$B":4$ B/'$K(/1:(<2>4/$?$(=/?/42+(4/:(:"1$(54$(2%F"07 ( ( ( Q#$15E/??8+( 21#$0523/5"'0( F'":E>$:( /( 6E??$'( J1HD3":<54$ 059$ 02BA"<4[B$ Fans of the?5;BF$ two /1$ teams were rise18$before this ordeal, ;1H"'/04$:( /( O425$( J"E0$( F/'58A F2>5E'$("6(54$(=/?/420A(B4$8(:20>"#$'$:(54/5(54$( :Z:<E$;"#BF$65932BJ1<:I$"E5$`%I$J1:<J:P more than happy to let their teams could not be happier with the (((@65$'(1$.0("6(54$($#$15(&'"H$+(54$(LN9(/1:(54$( 5$?$#202"1( 1$5."'H( N'/#"( ./0(B@114$ >"102:$'213( 6$/7b"B05H[B$ D14:2H$ ;05<$ 65<54:J@$ "@$ U"4$ 45<@"33#$ 18$ @05$ 8:M5$ 9:J05B@$ H5<$ :<$ go.0$'2$0( “Now I can bandwagon and 1<5$ change. =$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$0523/5$:(4".(54$(>"EF?$(3"5( 5E'213( <2>4/$?$( =/?/42( "1( 54$2'( '$/?258( !1<4"#$"<4$4:4$<1@$"D131E:Z5$19$B"#$@05$;194B$ F/05( /5( ?$/05( 5."( >4$>HF"2150( /1:( 0$>E'258( /1:( \P$/?( J"E0$.2#$0( "6( O/042135"1( RAIA]( I/%7 not have to worry about getting Y@"3#I$ "@@5<454$ @05$ ]G@0$ A:9@04"#$ D"9@#$ %/1/3$:( 5"( %/H$( 25( 54'"E34( 54$( 12345( .254"E5( $'/0( 6'"%( RH29459S$19$R-"Z:IS$05$;"B$;:453#$J9:@:J:Z54F$ 54$( 04".( $#$1( 6"??".$:( 54$(criticized,” >"EF?$( said a former Knicks C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$` &$213(>/E345A(B4$(=/?/420(%"05?8(H$F5(KE2$5(E17 5"(54$(O425$(J"E0$+(.4$'$(>/%$'/(>'$.0(.$'$(C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$G fan, wearing a Golden State jersey !"#$%&"'(&)*+,"$-$&."-",*&$'/01*'2&3,$45$-6$5&"3&3,$&7,*3$&8095$

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Bill Belichick briefly emerged from his neolithic cave home and glared at the reporters for five straight minutes in stony silence, pausing every couple of seconds to ferally growl at the raised hands.

O"":0(=>/1:/?( =.2130(CE5("6(I"15'"?

The events of the final play of Super Bowl XLIX have been picked 65932BJ1<:\$/01234$ _05$V13#$="@059$:<$@05$V13#$+"<4 apart, diced, chopped up, blended, and made into a media-induced j59B1<"3$788":9B$.885J@$ smoothie. However, the events that happened after the game are -"@:1<"3$788":9B> far more muddled. Much confusion still surrounds the sudden disappearance of MVP Tom Brady, among several other strange happenings after the last-second win.

a/5$(I'/04+(C&/%/(=58?$b

Two Teams Demoted After Horrible Playing

“Their ability and play on the court, or lack thereof, was not adequate for a league with the standards that we have.” -NBA Spokesperson

Page 6 !"#$%&'

June 2010Adar 5775 March 2015/ f():(-#$aURU !"#$%&&'

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2,3)$245$6436,3274!643 Palace News !"#$%&'()!*'%+' !"#$%&%'(#)"#*+(,)(# !!!

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Maimo Starts a World- Secret Stalker Replaces Secret Psycher wideP5=9-0(2!P#(-%( Fashion Trend (#$)"*"+$,-./01-0

89#$:--;$:"01< J9??/9$)+/D1 M$H"*?9$A"**-@$-*$A9H9*#$1@"HL M$ @*/"0?=H"*$ 1H/A9$ -G$ 2>9*/A"0$ -*$ !-RR"*9HH"$ )=>>9*$/1$*/?+@$"*-=0;$@+9$A-*09*B$1-$7$+"C9$D*-E M$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$@->"@-B$-*$D9DD9* C/;9;$@F-$;/1+91$"DD*-D*/"@9$G-*$"$G*/90;1E"0;E A+9919$S"$H9"G$-G$H9@@=A9$>"#$"H1-$.9$=19;T 3=0"$)"H";$U,$6??$)"H";$V:-*$3=0"$)"H";I$!/W$ G">/H#$D/A0/A$-*$G-*$"0#$0/A9$1=>>9*$;"#I$:H-FE "$ X$ -=0A9$ A"0$ -G$ @=0"B$ O$ @".H91D--01$ >"#-0E 9*$)"0;F/A+91$"0;$J9??/9$)+/D1K$3+919$*9A/D91$ By Senai Weglein ‘18 a duty-length skirt is a skirt that By Aleeza Schoenberg0"/19B$M$@9"1D--0$H9>-0$N=/A9B$!$1@"HL$-G$G/09H#$ ’17 for her,” explained a junior. “So "*9$G=0$"0;$1/>DH9$90-=?+$G-*$9C9*#-09$@-$>"L9B$ N2!O0(0/!V#'9-3#The census of people whoA9H9*#B$ we came up with a new to Recently, a new trend has traditionally falls below the knee A+-DD9;$ %$ @9"1D--01$ *9H/1+B$ "0;$way 1"H@$ -*$ 9C90$@+9$.9?/009*$A+9GK H%2!c##:!c0-3S appeared at Maimo. Unlike but above the ankle, somewhere participate in “secret psycher” found get pumped for games—one that D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK$:-*$6??$)"H";I$!/W$Y$ 8/93!&#-./1!%$%(2!-%43>0>%(!,D$%!3%%-!^./53!;0(_!/03!>5'=93/%:!&0-2!.5(A%2!(%?9>%3!9-!>(%>0C (0.9#-!;#(!85(A%2!M027!N5.!03!%$%(2#-%!A-#431!8/0-A369$9-6!&%0=3!0(%!-%$%(!?#&>=%.%!49./C that the number of participants is at remains in our control, on our own past trends at Maimo—for right in between the two. The duty>"1+9;$+"*;E.-/H9;$9??1B$Z$@".H91D--01$>"#-0E :H-F9*$)"0;F/A+91 #5.!>9%7!N%=#4!93!#-%!#;!&2!;0$#(9.%!>9%!(%?9>%37!,!=9A%!9.!'%?053%!9.!93!$%(30.9=%!d!9.!?0-!'%!53%:! example, sweatpants under skirts, length skirt is especially flattering an all time low. In secret0"/19B$%$@".H91D--01$5/N-0$>=1@"*;B$M$@9"1D--0$ psycher, phones forever.” M$F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D ;#(!./%!8/0-A369$9-6!&09-!?#5(3%1!:%3%(.1!#(!;#(!0-2!O/0''0.!&%0=7!R=531!9.!49==!-#.!;09=!2#5e!9.! M$GH-F9*E1+"D9;$A--L/9$A=@@9*$ D"D*/L"B$ -G$ A+-DD9;$ "0;$Stalker. 1"H@$ -*$ sweatshirts, or slippers—this and comes in colors such as army a player is forced to give up her!$ 1@"HL$ She’s referringA9H9*#B$ to Secret 49==!?#&%!#5.!#;!./%!#$%-!49./!./%!30&%!?#-393.%-?2!%0?/!.9&%f,!>(#&93%7!N5.!&#3.!9&>#(C %$1H/A91$-G$.*9"; candy to another player,D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK[ making With Secret Stalker, teachers trend is especially fashionable. It green, navy blue, and burnt orange. .0-.=21!./93!>9%!/03!0!4#-:%(;5=!.0-6!4/9?/!49==!A%%>!2#5(!65%3.3!4#-:%(9-61!FI/%(%!#-!%0(./! M$-*$%$1D*9";1B$H/L9$D9"0=@$.=@@9*B$N9HH#B$-*$A*9">$ is*&*$!"3!$83B-0$%-;#$90-;?@$C7%1&)'D$'-7:))$12-+$!"3!$&!$%3;#$90-;$,&2#3,,)#$32*$%-%-27!E$$ also a big hit, greatly welcomed Why is this trend suddenly so sure it says, “Get Pumped” instead don’t complain about cheary of its former message,MK$\-*9$@+9$199;1$-G$@+9$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$ “Happy locker decorations brightening the byA+9919 the Student Life Team. As you popular? P(53.=%33!O4%%.!R#.0.#!R9% @->"@-B$-*$D9DD9*B$1-$#-=$"*9$H9G@$F/@+$@+9$1+9HHK$ Chanukah.” Some students began hallways. Before each game, the probably already know, the trend One freshman had the answer. `Ca!&%:95&!34%%.!>#.0.#%3 F$!#34,--24$%-%-27!$83B-0&26$-0$%-%-27!$;&)1 MK$ :/*1@B$ A=@$about .-@+$ 1H/A91$ F/@+$ @+9$ A--L/9$ A=@@9*K$ speculating about this3+/1$F/HH$.9$#-=*$]C9??/9$C9119HK^ decline, secret stalker takes photos of the I’m talking is duty-length She said that this trend has popped By Sarah Robinson !!P!3560( Y!.%03>##-!$0-9==0!%@.(0?. By Bella Rumshiskaya %K$)@=GG$@+9$C9??/9$C9119H$F/@+$F+/A+9C9*$1"H";$ 3+90$A=@$"$+-H9$/0$@+9$19A-0;$1H/A9$.#$D*911/0?$"$ wondering if Girls’ Sports teams athlete she must stalk. Then, she skirts. For those of you who don’t up soB!:03/!#;!?9--0&#quickly “because covering "!P!>0(%$%!&0(60(9-%!0.!(##&!.%&>%(0.5(% !"#$%&&'$%()*+ F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D$/0$@+9$A90@9*K #!P!?(%0&2!3#2&9=A B!:03/!#;!-5.&%6 !"#$%&&'$%()*+$ are losing players. One #-=$A+-19K freshman posts the embarrassing photos on have any sense of style at all and our knees will obviously make the Y!=0(6%!%66 B!:03/!#;!69-6%(!^#>.9#-0=_ %K$ )D*9";$ #-=*$ GH-F9*E1+"D9;$ D/9A91$ -G$ .*9";$ OK$ P=1+$ @+9$ Facebook. A"**-@$ -*$ A9H9*#$ /0@-$ @+9$ 1"H";$ "0;$ guessed, “I think they have just don’t know what I’m talking about, boys come running.” `!.%03>##-3!>9-%0>>=%!U59?% H#-%2!^#>.9#-0=_! >00?%07:-*<5#%@-%A07%)'A%.'45%+0:*35<B%:.5,5%*-%C+'//A%-+01%0+%:.5%(,07+<#% ,(-./"-$01/*$2""34$5$2(*$*6"(3/)7$2/01$($8"2$8-/")'*$(9&:0$;&&3/)7<$=&$>#$*:-6-/*"4$01"$>&*0$?;&&3@ 1@/AL$ @+9$ A+9919$ -*$ H9@@=A9$ ]GH"?^$ come 09W@$ @-$to/@K$the ZK$ F/@+$#-=*$G"C-*/@9$1D*9";K been hit by how few edible choices “My team would A n o t h e r /)7A$01(0$()#$&8$01">$'&"*$/)B&.B"*$6&:-/)7$>/.3$&B"-$01"/-$;"-"(.<$=1(0C*$'/))"-D$E1(0"B"-<$F&$5$ V80"-$*1&B"./)7$01"$*)&2$&-$*/>6.#$*6")'/)7$*&>"$0/>"$/)$01"$8-/7/'$(/-4$01"-"$ OK$P=@$@+9$1H/A91$-G$.*9";$@-?9@+9*$"0;$C-/H"<$Q-=$ there are*-%0+5%:.*+(%:.':%)0-:%08%7-%1'+:%D%.0:%3.030/':5#%E01B%A07%F,0&'&/A%.'45%:'-:@ in the vending 4-F$9"@$#-=*$J9??/9$)+/D$.9G-*9$#-=*$@F-E#9"*E machines game all happy, full of chocolates, freshman added, Y7!Z3%!0!3.%0&%(!.#!3.%0&!./%!>#.0.#%3!#-!/96/!/%0.!;#(!Y[CY\!&9-5.%37!8/%2!3/#5=:!'%!.%-:%(! 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"'$>()#$'/88"-")0$1&0$;1&;&.(0"*$/)$#&:-$./8"<$H:0$1"-"$/*$>#$6"-*&)(.$8(B&-/0"K 1"(-'$&8$:)0/.$)&2J$/)B&.B/)7$;"-"(.K$L&)3"#$L:);1/"*$()'$M/;"$N-/*6/"$=-"(0*< F/@+$/@$/0$@+9$."@+@=.< $ ./%!3.%0&%(!0-:!=%.!./%&!?##=!;#(!0.!=%03.!.%-!&9-5.%37 up.” Seniors then handed the earned,” explained Winnie Gaymes, Maimo are really )7!R%%=!./%!>#.0.#!3A9-37!8/%-!&03/!./%!>#.0.#%3!9-!0!=0(6%!&9@9-6!'#4=!^,!(%?#&&%-:!539-6!0! 4"3'5*")"623% !"#$%&'!(#)*+%, freshman a muffin and asked him an M-Cat coach. “They just were trying to make .5-0!&9@%(!;#(!./93_7 5)7-"'/")0*$`$5)*0-:;0/&)*K O$G$G1"P$I()#$*/)7."$0#6"$&-$($;&>9&Q$5$-";&>>")'$!&)"#$G1"PJ$ for money. “#taamtuesday!” they not ready to play in the game, so an effort to stay `7!P#&'9-%!./%!#./%(!9-6(%:9%-.37!N%0.!./%!3560(1!&0(60(9-%1!3#2&9=A1!%661!>9-%0>>=%!0-:!?#C @$ 5)$($'-#$9&2.$>/P$ R$G$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6* cried as they him away. I’d sit them out. But seeing this, more tznius, so as ?#-5.1!$0-9==01!0-:!3>9?%3!9-!49./!./%!>#.0.#%37!L9@!<QVT!4%==7!,;!2#5!:#-D.1!2#5!49==!'%!3#((27! &$ carried RST$;:6$&8$9(3/)7$;&;&($6&2'"-$I)&$(''"'$*:7(-J $G$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J $$$(#$,"A+9H$(9*L-C/@R$"0;$\+"0/$!"@R !"@A+$@+9$89.*9F$F-*;1$/0$@+9$."0L$F/@+$@+9$AH=91$"0;$G/HH$/0$@+9$ But no, teams have not their psychers would just give them a result, this skirt 80A%!&2!4#(:!;#(!9.7 &$ the aST$;:6$&8$*:7(-$ G$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" A*-11F-*;< a7!R#5(!9-.#!0!6(%03%:!>0-!0-:1!9;!2#5D:!=9A%1!:(9bb=%!./%!.#>!49./!/#-%27!N0A%!;#(!a[!&9-5.%3!0.! R$0"(*6&&)$B()/..( shrunken,G% nor H8%A07%1'+:%:0%/015,%:.5%+7)&5,%08%3'/0,*5-%*+%A07,%<,*+?%-*)F/A%-7&@ have the M-Cats more candy so that the psycher had has become super 2A*-11I 5-F0I R`[*#c7 $G$6&2'"-"'$*:7(given up*0/0:0"$01"$*:7(-$2/01$F6.")'($&-$($'/88"-")0$*:7(-$*:9*0/0:0"$I>(3"$*:-"$0&$-"('$ on Maimo’s wonderful a better chance playing in the game. trendy!” MK$ (-@+$ "$ 09?"@/C9$ "0;$ "$ MK$)=>>9*$C"A"@/-0$ [7!O%($%!40(&!#(!?##=7!Q-U#2S! 01"$/)*0-:;0/&)*$8&-$1&2$>:;1$&8$01"$)&@;(.&-/"$*2""0")"-$*1&:.'$9"$:*"'$(*$($ 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$L/;-&2(B"$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6*4$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J4$()'$9:00"-S>(-7(@ technology. They’ve just moved Now, the girls come to games angry It seems like D-1/@/C9$9WD9*/90A9 %K$\->9$-0<_1-`$ $ *:9*0/0:0"J -/)"$8&-$R$>/):0"<$F0/-<$L/;-&2(B"$8&-$()$(''/0/&)(.$TU$*";&)'*$:)0/.$*>&&01<$V''$B()/..(<$W&:-$&B"-$ on. “We&$realized that when you or in tears because of those miracle it really has. Ila OK$(-"*; ZK$,--> H0>>2!8/0-A369$9-6S RST$&8$($0*6$&8$*(.0$ G1"P$:)0/.$"B").#$;&(0"'4$01")$6&:-$G1"P$/)0&$($.(-7"$X/6.&;$9(7<$$W&:-$6&2'"-"'$*:7(-$/)0&$9(74$ give someone aH&/.$ candy bar, you pictures. It’s exactly what our team V. M. Adesty, a bK$8->9F-*L XK$)90;/0?$*9?"*;1$ @$ $;:6$&8$2(0"-$()'$>/P$/)$01"$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$ *1(3"$*"(."'$9(7$:)0/.$G1"P$/*$2"..$;&(0"'<$G&&.$2"..$()'$*0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$8-/'7"<$ :6$ I9:0$ '&)C0$ b$ ;:6*$ &8$ >/.3$Since I:*"$ ()#$ 6"-;")0(7"$ #&:$ M&K$c--;.#9_199$#-=$H"@9* aK$\H"11*--> junior, said, “My never get@$ to seeE(->$ it again. It’s just9&/.J$has needed! 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Students the hallways with ten goats, B2DD19@$@1$0:B$A535"E25954$C09:B@:"<$831JK$:<$@05$ "<4$358@$"$0"<4;9:@@5<$<1@5$"D131E:Z:<E$819$"<@:P @:1<$J"<$95H5HA59I$@05$D59B1<"3$3:M5B$18$ By Jonathan Robison leave their old cereal, milk, Taam imported all the/5H:@:BH$A#$C09:B@:"<BF way from Rabbi 95E:1<F D13:@:J:"<B$0"M5$"885J@54$@05$<"@:1<$1M59$ !"#$%&$'( )*+( ),,-( ./0( /( 12345( "6( 6$052#7 52?(/3'$$213(5"(/1(215$'#2$.(.254(</55(U/E$'("1( #((+%!03*+8%'+,%3'=(>5%'"$*#$#%.("(% >4$/5213+(/1:('E:$(=/?/420(.4"(4/:(54$( China, sandwich crusts, and soda Soskil’s!NIA((91(5420(215$'#2$.+(54$8($VF?/21$:(54/5(54$8( hometown $ of Baltimore. Y<$0:B$8129B$#5"9B$:<$@05$D"D"J#I$65<54:J@$ $ _05$@9:D$;"B$45B:E<54$"31<E$@05$3:<5B$18$ 258+(4"1"'213(54$(#2025("6(91:2/1(;'2%$(<21205$'( 0$$1( F".:$'213( 54$(;0:J0$05$19$B05$9235BF$7$^2:@5$D91H:<5<@$ >"EF?$( '2345( &$7 /E:/>258(5"(>'/04(/(F/'58(4"05$:(&8(54$( cans lying =2134( around the lunchroom. These .$'$(>""F$'/5213(.254(54$(=$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$07 goats—named Tom, Dick, 0"B$:<829:"@54$A1@0$!2B3:HB$"<4$?5;BI$8:9B@$;05<$ j1D5$?10<$j"23$YY[B$0:B@19:J$D:3E9:H"E5$:<$%&&&$ </1%"4/1( /1:( >$?$&'/5213( 54$( 05'$1354( 6"'$(54$2'($15'8A(N'/#"(200E$:(/(05/5$7 ;'$02:$15("6(54$(G125$:(=5/5$0A(W;'$027 5X"HD35$18$@0:B$:B$@05$5B@"A3:B0H5<@$18$ The trash litters the"<4$ tables, "6( '$?/52"10A( B4$( @%$'2>/1( 523/52"1(/1:(54/5(54$8(4/:(1"5(>'/04$:(54$(:211$'A( %$15( 54/5( <2>4/$?$( ./0( E1:$'( >"17 :$15(C&/%/(/:%255$:(21(/1(215$'#2$.( Harry, Goat 4,05$Goat H"45$5,"$ Larry, BD55J0$ 3:<K:<E$ @05$ j91D05@$ !20"HP @1$@%$'2>/1791:2/1( ?194"<I$ YB9"53$ @05$ chairs, j"35B@:<:"<$ @599:@19:5BI$ :<$ .<E3"<4I$ ;0:J0$ "91B5$ %$:2/( >"#$'$:( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/D0( 3?/%"'"E0( 02:$'/52"1( /1:( 54/5(j91@5B@"<@:BH$ 54$( 1$5."'H( ./0( 54/5(4$(./0(6E'2"E0(/5(54$(=/?/420(6"'( and floors, making it nearly Curly, B4$8(>?/2%$:(5"(4/#$(54"E345(54$8(.$'$(21#25$:( Moe, Goat 9, and Bob— 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periods.54/5(54$8(.$'$(1"5+(21(6/>5+(21#25$:(5"(54$(:211$'A Being YYI$ goats, they H"99:"E5$ 891H$ @05$ b"@:P j1D5$ j:2B$have kYYI$ ;01H$ 65<54:J@$ 0"B$21#"?#$:( J"3354$ "$21(<23H5<@$ B4$( 12345( /?0"( F'$0$15$:( /1( 2%F"'5/15( 08%&"?( 4/FF$1+( "1$( 54213( 20( 6"'( 0E'$^( /'$( /?0"( %/18( >2#2?(819$ ?/.7 "$%/8( Starting in April, stu2-"% 4+,*'1% #5(6*!6'007% "(0'$(,% $-% *$#% 2('"%no $/'$% ( ( ( =52??+( 54$(RE95"@$J029J0H"<FS$?5;B$"<4$1@059B$B"#$@0"@$j:2B$ =$>'$5( =$'#2>$( 04"E?:( 4/#$( H1".1( 0E250( ( 6"'( >4$/5213( "1( 54$2'( :$&5(5X"HD35$ /1:( 0"%$54213(?2H$(5420(.2??(1$#$'(4/FF$1( qualms about licking crumbs J"<F$ 7<$ 7H59:J"<B$ J"<$ 953"@5$ 54$( G125$:( =5/5$0( .2??( .$/H$1( 52$0( .254( 91:2/( 54$(8":354$@1$41$"33$05$J1234$@1$B@1D$@05$5X@59H:<"@:1<$ =/?/420( %$5(off ;'$02:$15( C&/%/( 4/#$( &$$1( >/E345( ?8213( /&"E5( F/05( /3/21A(U$5(E0(0/8(.$(.$'$(?E>H8(5"(.257 walls and eating $#$1( yogurt dents will now share off the &$6"'$( @1$:B$@05$:HD5"J0H5<@$18$j95B:45<@$6:33$ /1:( 05'$1354$1( 52$0( .254( ;/H205/1( /1:( I421/A( 54/5( 54$8( .$'$( 3/5$( >'/04$'0A( N$6"'$( 54$( F/'58+( F"0252"10( 5"( F"5$152/?( $%F?"8$'0A 1$00("1$(?/05(/55$%F5(5"(#2025(54$(O425$( the floor. 18$.291D5"<$?5;BF C3:<@1<$"8@59$3#:<E$:<$J129@$"A12@$"<$5XP ( ( ( J".$#$'+( 54$0$( :$5/2?0( .$'$( ten 0""1( "#$'04/:7 54$( =/?/420D( =GM( ./0( 5E'1$:( /./8( 6'"%( 54$( ((((B420($#$15(4/0(04".1(E0(5."(0$F/7 J"E0$(E121#25$:(21(5420(F"05(-_``(/3$A(( the hallways with An added benefit is that the $ 65<54:J@$H5@$;:@0$"$E912D$18$V131J"2B@$ ".$:( .4$1( '$F"'50( /''2#$:( 54/5( /1( E121#25$:( O425$(J"E0$($15'/1>$+(&E5(54$8(052??(%/1/3$:(5"( '/5$( 2%/3$0A( C1$( @9"H"9:@"3$"88":9F$ 20( 54$( 0>4$%213+( are also B29M:M19B$"@$?592B"35H[B$U"4$b"B05H$!5H19:"3I$ able to eat the >"EF?$+(B/'$K(/1:(<2>4/$?$(=/?/42+(4/:(/55$1:7 goats, imported all the goats 3$5(21A(!$.0(/3$1>8('$F'$0$15/52#$0(/?0"(05/5$:( $ !195$95J5<@3#I$@05$4:M19J5$18$Y@"3P (,%$/(%/*8/95"-!0(%(:(+$;%</-$-#%5-#$(,%-+%$/(% 54/5(54$8(./'1$:(O425$(J"E0$(05/66$'0(5"(%/H$( foil, bags, and@012E0$ cans 05$ thatBK:DD54$ the :@B$ H2B52HI$ ;0:J0$ 012B5B$ :"<$ j9:H5$ !:<:B@59$ /:3M:1$ 65932BJ1<:$ way from Rabbi Sos- students0E'$(54$(>"EF?$(./0("1(54$(3E$05(?205A(J".$#$'+( >"EF?$D0(L/>$&""H(F/3$(:20F?/8$:(54$%('E&&213( bring "$D:J@295$18$j:2B$@0"@$0"B$A55<$J9:@:J:Z54$A#$@05$ their lunches in. 04"E?:$'0( .254( M2>$( ;'$02:$15( N2:$1+( O425$( &8( 54$(virtually 52%$( 54$( 3E$050( .$'$(up 0$/5$:( 6"'( :211$'+( no clean b"@:J"<F$ _05$ D01@1[B$ J"D@:1<$ B"#B$ j:2B$ 4:4$ <1@$ 891H$0:B$;:85$L"<4$819H59$"J@95BBN$b5P kil’s hometown of Bal- This means J"E0$(I42$6("6(=5/66(P/4%(Q%/1E$?+(54$(%/8"'( 54$( =/?/420( 4/:( :20/FF$/'$:A( B4$( '$F'$0$15/7 91<:J"$ +"9:1$ L@;5<@#$ #5"9B$ 0:B$ W2<:19N$ for the52#$0D(./'12130(/FF/'$15?8(6$??("1(:$/6($/'0Y(54$( students,D91@5B@$@05$-"Z:$E5<1J:45$18$?5;B$"<4$H":<@":<54$ so they get the "6( O/042135"1( RAIA+( 54$( 91:2/1( /%&/00/:"'+( timore. 0"B$ J"2B54$ @05$ Y@"3:"<$ D51D35$ @1$ ^25BP extra thirty seconds it would have "$3"9E53#$R<52@9"3$D1B:@:1<FS /1:($#$1(S/52$(I"E'2>("6(IN=A(B4$8(.$'$($#$1( 3"#$'1%$15("1?8(&$>/%$(/./'$("6(54$(21>2:$15( 04".1(04/H213(4/1:0(.254(54$(;'$02:$15(/1:(<'0A( .4$1( 54$( =/?/420D( F2>5E'$0( /FF$/'$:( "1( L/>$7 taken to throw out $their garbage 65<54:J@[B$95H"9KB$1<$@05$V131J"2B@$J"DP @:1<$ @05$ 9135$ 18$ ;1H5<$ :<$ @05:9$ B1J:P C&/%/(21(F2>5E'$0('$?$/0$:(&8(54$(O425$(J"E0$A( 54/5( 12345A( B4$( =$>'$5( =$'#2>$( 1$#7 around, let alone sit down. The to learn&""H( one?/5$'( vocabulary word or @2954$@05$H1B@$"@@5<@:1<$:<$YB9"53F 5@#$"B$;533$"B$@05$3:85$18$@05:9$5JJ5<@9:J$ B4$( =$>'$5( =$'#2>$( KE2>H?8( /( 05/5$%$15( $'54$?$00( $%F4/02Z$:( 54/5( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/D0( food that gets stuck on the200E$:( walls— walk over to the lounge $ student 7B$"$a59H"<$;01$;"B$819J54$@1$W1:<$@05$ j9:H5$ !:<:B@59F$ _05$ @;1$ 0"4$ A55<$ @1P 0/8213(54/5(54$8(4/:(6/2?$:(5"(F'"F$'?8(F'"5$>5("1$( 0/6$58(./0(1$#$'([$"F/':2Z$:(&$>/E0$(/??("6(54$( mainly milk accidently spilled and think about playing Super V:@359$ U12@0I$ 65<54:J@$ ;1234$ 0"M5$ 0"4$ "$ 0"94$ "6(54$(%"05(F".$'6E?(%$1(21(."'?:A(B4$(>"EF?$+( 3E$050( 4/:( F/00$:( 54'"E34( $V5$102#$( 0$>E'258A E5@059$819$@;5<@#P<:<5$#5"9B$2<@:3$+"9:1$ on the walls and spaghetti which Smash (Brothers. @:H5$;:<<:<E$1M59$YB9"53:B$<1$H"@@59$;0"@$05$B":4$ B/'$K(/1:(<2>4/$?$(=/?/42+(4/:(:"1$(54$(2%F"07 ( ( Q#$15E/??8+( 21#$0523/5"'0( F'":E>$:( /( 6E??$'( J1HD3":<54$ 18$ 059$ 02BA"<4[B$ ;1H"'/04$:( /( O425$( The F2>5E'$("6(54$(=/?/420A(B4$8(:20>"#$'$:(54/5(54$( goats, however, will need (((@65$'(1$.0("6(54$($#$15(&'"H$+(54$(LN9(/1:(54$( 5$?$#202"1( 1$5."'H( N'/#"( ./0( >"102:$'213( 6$/7b"B05H[B$ D14:2H$ :Z:<E$;"#BF$65932BJ1<:I$"E5$`%I$J1:<J:P stink. So much, in fact, that the to be taken ;05<$ 65<54:J@$ B@114$ "@$ U"4$ care of. In order to 45<@"33#$ 1<5$ 18$ @05$ 8:M5$ 9:J05B@$ H5<$ :<$ =$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$0523/5$:(4".(54$(>"EF?$(3"5( <2>4/$?$( =/?/42( "1( 54$2'( '$/?258( 0$'2$0( administration is worried that ensure 5E'213( !1<4"#$"<4$4:4$<1@$"D131E:Z5$19$B"#$@05$;194B$ their well being, whichever F/05( /5( ?$/05( 5."( >4$>HF"2150( /1:( 0$>E'258( /1:( \P$/?( J"E0$.2#$0( "6( O/042135"1( RAIA]( I/%7 Y@"3#I$ "@@5<454$ @05$ ]G@0$ A:9@04"#$ D"9@#$ the stench will drive prospective grade $'/0( has 6'"%( beenRH29459S$19$R-"Z:IS$05$;"B$;:453#$J9:@:J:Z54F$ to %/1/3$:( 5"( %/H$( 25( 54'"E34( 54$( 12345( .254"E5( 54$(volunteered 04".( $#$1( 6"??".$:( 54$( >"EF?$( families from Maimo. The clean 5"(54$(O425$(J"E0$+(.4$'$(>/%$'/(>'$.0(.$'$( C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$G C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$` the shul before Shabbat &$213(>/E345A(B4$(=/?/420(%"05?8(H$F5(KE2$5(E17 !"#$%&"'(&)*+,"$-$&."-",*&$'/01*'2&3,$45$-6$5&"3&3,$&7,*3$&8095$

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Eschewing Modern Technology, Maimonides Decides to Become Amish P5=9-0(2!P#(-%(

89#$:--;$:"01< J9??/9$)+/D1 )=>>9*$/1$*/?+@$"*-=0;$@+9$A-*09*B$1-$7$+"C9$D*-E M$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$@->"@-B$-*$D9DD9* C/;9;$@F-$;/1+91$"DD*-D*/"@9$G-*$"$G*/90;1E"0;E G">/H#$D/A0/A$-*$G-*$"0#$0/A9$1=>>9*$;"#I$:H-FE 9*$)"0;F/A+91$"0;$J9??/9$)+/D1K$3+919$*9A/D91$ "*9$G=0$"0;$1/>DH9$90-=?+$G-*$9C9*#-09$@-$>"L9B$ N2!O0(0/!V#'9-3#9C90$@+9$.9?/009*$A+9GK H%2!c##:!c0-3S

M$H"*?9$A"**-@$-*$A9H9*#$1@"HL M$ @*/"0?=H"*$ 1H/A9$ -G$ 2>9*/A"0$ -*$ !-RR"*9HH"$ A+9919$S"$H9"G$-G$H9@@=A9$>"#$"H1-$.9$=19;T 3=0"$)"H";$U,$6??$)"H";$V:-*$3=0"$)"H";I$!/W$ "$ X$ -=0A9$ A"0$ -G$ @=0"B$ O$ @".H91D--01$ >"#-0E 0"/19B$M$@9"1D--0$H9>-0$N=/A9B$!$1@"HL$-G$G/09H#$ A+-DD9;$ A9H9*#B$ %$ @9"1D--01$ *9H/1+B$ "0;$ 1"H@$ -*$ D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK$:-*$6??$)"H";I$!/W$Y$ 8/93!&#-./1!%$%(2!-%43>0>%(!,D$%!3%%-!^./53!;0(_!/03!>5'=93/%:!&0-2!.5(A%2!(%?9>%3!9-!>(%>0C Continued from page 1 (0.9#-!;#(!85(A%2!M027!N5.!03!%$%(2#-%!A-#431!8/0-A369$9-6!&%0=3!0(%!-%$%(!?#&>=%.%!49./C >"1+9;$+"*;E.-/H9;$9??1B$Z$@".H91D--01$>"#-0E :H-F9*$)"0;F/A+91 Nowadays, people are increasingly brought in as an example of how come late to class. After ten0"/19B$%$@".H91D--01$5/N-0$>=1@"*;B$M$@9"1D--0$ minutes, parking. Students will continue #5.!>9%7!N%=#4!93!#-%!#;!&2!;0$#(9.%!>9%!(%?9>%37!,!=9A%!9.!'%?053%!9.!93!$%(30.9=%!d!9.!?0-!'%!53%:! M$F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D ;#(!./%!8/0-A369$9-6!&09-!?#5(3%1!:%3%(.1!#(!;#(!0-2!O/0''0.!&%0=7!R=531!9.!49==!-#.!;09=!2#5e!9.! recognizing that technology is to be an Amish Jew. It just makes they will begin to lose toes. to fight over the A9H9*#B$ last few"0;$ spots M$GH-F9*E1+"D9;$A--L/9$A=@@9*$ D"D*/L"B$ !$ 1@"HL$ -G$ A+-DD9;$ 1"H@$on -*$ 49==!?#&%!#5.!#;!./%!#$%-!49./!./%!30&%!?#-393.%-?2!%0?/!.9&%f,!>(#&93%7!N5.!&#3.!9&>#(C harmful; they’re going on Internet sense that now it’s the teachers’ and When asked what happens if a Route Nine—this time with the D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK[ %$1H/A91$-G$.*9"; .0-.=21!./93!>9%!/03!0!4#-:%(;5=!.0-6!4/9?/!49==!A%%>!2#5(!65%3.3!4#-:%(9-61!FI/%(%!#-!%0(./! ‘diets.’ Our goal is to jump on that students’ turn.” student is more than twenty minutes help of their equestrians’ kicking M$-*$%$1D*9";1B$H/L9$D9"0=@$.=@@9*B$N9HH#B$-*$A*9">$ *&*$!"3!$83B-0$%-;#$90-;?@$C7%1&)'D$'-7:))$12-+$!"3!$&!$%3;#$90-;$,&2#3,,)#$32*$%-%-27!E$$ bandwagon.” Like the students, classrooms will late to class, Rabbi Huff responded, abilities. Additionally, because MK$\-*9$@+9$199;1$-G$@+9$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$ A+9919 P(53.=%33!O4%%.!R#.0.#!R9% The new designation of the school also get a makeover. Smartboards “What, you think we ever plan Maimonides no longer wants to pay @->"@-B$-*$D9DD9*B$1-$#-=$"*9$H9G@$F/@+$@+9$1+9HHK$ will lead to few 1H/A91$ minor F/@+$ changes. will F$!#34,--24$%-%-27!$83B-0&26$-0$%-%-27!$;&)1 be replaced with giant pads of that well in advance? We’ll see for transportation, Sharonites and `Ca!&%:95&!34%%.!>#.0.#%3 MK$ :/*1@B$ A=@$a .-@+$ @+9$ A--L/9$ A=@@9*K$ 3+/1$F/HH$.9$#-=*$]C9??/9$C9119HK^ By Sarah Robinson !!P!3560( Y!.%03>##-!$0-9==0!%@.(0?. By Bella Rumshiskaya First and foremost is dress. Students parchment, and instead of projectors, what happens when it comes to it. Providencians will have to walk to %K$)@=GG$@+9$C9??/9$C9119H$F/@+$F+/A+9C9*$1"H";$ 3+90$A=@$"$+-H9$/0$@+9$19A-0;$1H/A9$.#$D*911/0?$"$ "!P!>0(%$%!&0(60(9-%!0.!(##&!.%&>%(0.5(% B!:03/!#;!?9--0&#must now wear clothing in one of teachers will make shadow puppets Probably, !"#$%&&'$%()*+ we’ll just cut #-=$A+-19K off their school. F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D$/0$@+9$A90@9*K #!P!?(%0&2!3#2&9=A B!:03/!#;!-5.&%6 !"#$%&&'$%()*+$ the three pre-approved colors—pale on the walls. (Over the summer, heads. That’ll teach them not to@+9$ A"**-@$ Perhaps the largest change of"0;$ all Y!=0(6%!%66 %K$ )D*9";$ #-=*$ GH-F9*E1+"D9;$ D/9A91$ -G$B!:03/!#;!69-6%(!^#>.9#-0=_ .*9";$ OK$ P=1+$ -*$ A9H9*#$ /0@-$ @+9$ 1"H";$ `!.%03>##-3!>9-%0>>=%!U59?% H#-%2!^#>.9#-0=_! >00?%07:-*<5#%@-%A07%)'A%.'45%+0:*35<B%:.5,5%*-%C+'//A%-+01%0+%:.5%(,07+<#% blue, pale yellow, and pale white— teachers will undergo intensive come late!” will be the curriculum. Math will ,(-./"-$01/*$2""34$5$2(*$*6"(3/)7$2/01$($8"2$8-/")'*$(9&:0$;&&3/)7<$=&$>#$*:-6-/*"4$01"$>&*0$?;&&3@ 1@/AL$ @+9$ A+9919$ -*$to H9@@=A9$ ]GH"?^$ 09W@$ @-$ /@K$ ZK$ F/@+$#-=*$G"C-*/@9$1D*9";K V80"-$*1&B"./)7$01"$*)&2$&-$*/>6.#$*6")'/)7$*&>"$0/>"$/)$01"$8-/7/'$(/-4$01"-"$ /)7A$01(0$()#$&8$01">$'&"*$/)B&.B"*$6&:-/)7$>/.3$&B"-$01"/-$;"-"(.<$=1(0C*$'/))"-D$E1(0"B"-<$F&$5$ although special dispensation may shadow puppet training to perfect Arriving on time, however, will be performed without calculators, OK$P=@$@+9$1H/A91$-G$.*9";$@-?9@+9*$"0;$C-/H"<$Q-=$ 4-F$9"@$#-=*$J9??/9$)+/D$.9G-*9$#-=*$@F-E#9"*E Y7!Z3%!0!3.%0&%(!.#!3.%0&!./%!>#.0.#%3!#-!/96/!/%0.!;#(!Y[CY\!&9-5.%37!8/%2!3/#5=:!'%!.%-:%(! *-%0+5%:.*+(%:.':%)0-:%08%7-%1'+:%D%.0:%3.030/':5#%E01B%A07%F,0&'&/A%.'45%:'-:@ '";/'"'$0&$2-/0"$:6$($G:./)(-#$G&-)"-$(9&:0$;"-"(.$-";/6"*<$H".&2$(-"$02&$-";/6"*$I21/;1$5$1('$)"B"-$ be given for pale black. Zippers on their shadow casting abilities.) In also be more difficult. Because although Mr. Schockett expects that -H;$.*-@+9*$>/1@"L91$/@$G-*$"$*9"H$1+/D$"0;$DH"#1$ +"C9$"$GH-F9*$1"0;F/A+<$ 9-!0'#5.!.4%-.2!&9-5.%37!]-?%!2#5!0(%!0'=%!.#!%039=2!9-3%(.!0!;#(A1!(%&#$%!./%!>#.0.#%3!;(#&! "'$>()#$'/88"-")0$1&0$;1&;&.(0"*$/)$#&:-$./8"<$H:0$1"-"$/*$>#$6"-*&)(.$8(B&-/0"K 1"(-'$&8$:)0/.$)&2J$/)B&.B/)7$;"-"(.K$L&)3"#$L:);1/"*$()'$M/;"$N-/*6/"$=-"(0*< pants must be cut out, and velcro addition, due to halachic problems of the Amish prohibitionF/@+$/@$/0$@+9$."@+@=.< against students will continue to ask, “Can $ ./%!3.%0&%(!0-:!=%.!./%&!?##=!;#(!0.!=%03.!.%-!&9-5.%37 must be burned off with a candle with manufacturing, stacks of technology, students may no we use a calculator on the test?” )7!R%%=!./%!>#.0.#!3A9-37!8/%-!&03/!./%!>#.0.#%3!9-!0!=0(6%!&9@9-6!'#4=!^,!(%?#&&%-:!539-6!0! 4"3'5*")"623% !"#$%&'!(#)*+%, .5-0!&9@%(!;#(!./93_7 before the clothes may be worn. unused Gemaras will take the place longer use5)7-"'/")0*$`$5)*0-:;0/&)*K busses, cars, or public Science will be dropped completely, O$G$G1"P$I()#$*/)7."$0#6"$&-$($;&>9&Q$5$-";&>>")'$!&)"#$G1"PJ$ `7!P#&'9-%!./%!#./%(!9-6(%:9%-.37!N%0.!./%!3560(1!&0(60(9-%1!3#2&9=A1!%661!>9-%0>>=%!0-:!?#C @$ 5)$($'-#$9&2.$>/P$ R$G$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6* At the same time, however, while English and History will be ?#-5.1!$0-9==01!0-:!3>9?%3!9-!49./!./%!>#.0.#%37!L9@!<QVT!4%==7!,;!2#5!:#-D.1!2#5!49==!'%!3#((27! &$ RST$;:6$&8$9(3/)7$;&;&($6&2'"-$I)&$(''"'$*:7(-J $G$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J students will find that other than limited to penmanship. Limudei $$$(#$,"A+9H$(9*L-C/@R$"0;$\+"0/$!"@R !"@A+$@+9$89.*9F$F-*;1$/0$@+9$."0L$F/@+$@+9$AH=91$"0;$G/HH$/0$@+9$ 80A%!&2!4#(:!;#(!9.7 &$ aST$;:6$&8$*:7(-$ G$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" A*-11F-*;< the colors, the clothing itself will be Kodesh, of course, will remained a7!R#5(!9-.#!0!6(%03%:!>0-!0-:1!9;!2#5D:!=9A%1!:(9bb=%!./%!.#>!49./!/#-%27!N0A%!;#(!a[!&9-5.%3!0.! G% H8%A07%1'+:%:0%/015,%:.5%+7)&5,%08%3'/0,*5-%*+%A07,%<,*+?%-*)F/A%-7&@ R$0"(*6&&)$B()/..( 2A*-11I 5-F0I less restrictive. unchanged, except students will *0/0:0"$01"$*:7(-$2/01$F6.")'($&-$($'/88"-")0$*:7(-$*:9*0/0:0"$I>(3"$*:-"$0&$-"('$ R`[*#c7 $G$6&2'"-"'$*:7(MK$ (-@+$ "$ 09?"@/C9$ "0;$ "$ MK$)=>>9*$C"A"@/-0$ [7!O%($%!40(&!#(!?##=7!Q-U#2S! 01"$/)*0-:;0/&)*$8&-$1&2$>:;1$&8$01"$)&@;(.&-/"$*2""0")"-$*1&:.'$9"$:*"'$(*$($ “The new-fangled laws finally understand when the teacher 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$L/;-&2(B"$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6*4$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J4$()'$9:00"-S>(-7(@ D-1/@/C9$9WD9*/90A9 %K$\->9$-0<_1-`$ $ *:9*0/0:0"J -/)"$8&-$R$>/):0"<$F0/-<$L/;-&2(B"$8&-$()$(''/0/&)(.$TU$*";&)'*$:)0/.$*>&&01<$V''$B()/..(<$W&:-$&B"-$ addressing skirt length and the cut of explains that the Talmud was OK$(-"*; ZK$,--> H0>>2!8/0-A369$9-6S &$ RST$&8$($0*6$&8$*(.0$ G1"P$:)0/.$"B").#$;&(0"'4$01")$6&:-$G1"P$/)0&$($.(-7"$X/6.&;$9(7<$$W&:-$6&2'"-"'$*:7(-$/)0&$9(74$ shirts have been removed,” Student written before the Internet. Finally, bK$8->9F-*L XK$)90;/0?$*9?"*;1$ @$ H&/.$ $;:6$&8$2(0"-$()'$>/P$/)$01"$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$ *1(3"$*"(."'$9(7$:)0/.$G1"P$/*$2"..$;&(0"'<$G&&.$2"..$()'$*0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$8-/'7"<$ Life Department member Amy aK$\H"11*--> a few new subjects be added #&:$ to @$ E(->$ :6$ I9:0$ '&)C0$ 9&/.J$ b$ ;:6*$ &8$ >/.3$ I:*"$ will ()#$ 6"-;")0(7"$ M&K$c--;.#9_199$#-=$H"@9* Rosen said. “The only requirement of desks and tables. transportation to get to school. the curriculum, including sewing, 2/*1J$()'$RST$;:6$&8$!(.8$`$!(.8$ MOK$\+99*1< YK$39**/.H9 -+)%'./+,0+%'1/%23, isT=9*$*(.0"'$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" that ankles must be covered at 'K$\->9$-0< Discipline, of course, will not go Instead, &$MaimoW&:-$01"$1&0$2(0"-S;&;&($>/P0:-"$/)0&$01"$*(:;"6()$&8$2(->"'$>/.3$ has procured milking a cow, and churning butter. MZK$39"A+9* ()'$(''$($0"(*6&&)$&8$B()/..($"P0-(;0 !"#$%&'(%)*+*%)',-.)'//01-%20,%)*3,01'45%67889%&7::5,%*+%;"%-530+<%*+3,5)5+:-= ""#!$%&'!()'**+,!----!*+,!)!' all times; other than that, anything unaltered: to the delight of students, special horse and buggy licenses for As the Rav famously said, “My @$ YG$M/;"$N-/*6/"* M%K$89HH- has been eliminated. all families. goes.” detention At a L/P$"B"-#01/)7$0&7"01"cost of $5,000 per greatest pleasure in being Amish is W&:-$01"$'-/)3$/)0&$b$;:6*<$58$'"*/-"'$6:0$($'&..&6$&8$B()/..($/;"$;-"(>$ 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$Z)$*0&B"0&64$>".0$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"$/)$;&&3/)7$6&0$&)$.&2$1"(0<$Z);"$>".0"'4$6&:-$(..$ @$ !R0(.!,< Few were surprised with the Instead, while not strictly an Amish person (an&-$21/66"'$;-"(>$&)$0&6$&8$"(;1$'-/)3$()'$")c&#< extra 2% added to tuition being able to make my own butter.” >(-*1>(..&2*$/)$()'$;&(0$2/01$01"$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"<$L".0$8&-$($8"2$>/):0"*4$*0/--/)7$&;;(*/&)(..#<$ development. Freshman Ami device, the guillotine has become bills), these licenses will allow each V)&01"-$&60/&)K Z);"$(..$>(-*1>(..&2*$(-"$>".0"'4$0:-)$1"(0$&88$()'$(''$(..$M/;"$N-/*6/"*<$L/P$2"..<$L(3"$*:-"$ !!!!!!N2!O0(0/!X0-%!V9?A=0-! 58$ #&:$ 6-"8"-$in ($ ;&88""@>&;1($ ()'$ )&0$ c:*0$ 6.(/)$ 1&0$ ;1&;&.(0"4$ 01")$ Shluver noted, “Everyone already the punishment of choice for family to @$keep three horses their "B"-#01/)7$/*$"B").#$;&(0"'<$%.(00")$/)0&$($7-"(*"'$6()$()'$;1/..$/)$8-/'7"$8&-$R[@TU$>/):0"*$I&-$/)$ >/P$01"$(8&-">")0/&)"'$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$(*$2"..$(*$T$0"(*6&&)*$&8$;&88""$I()#$ 8-""\"-$/8$#&:C-"$/>6(0/")0J<$$F0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$01"$8-/'7"<$ knows that one of our principals is administrators. Students will lose backyards. But as always, Maimo ! ! ! ! ! ! ,-! ./%0.%(1! ./%2! 302! ./0.! ./%! 3/#4! #-! 0! 3.06%1! 0-:! 9.! :9:-D.! 3.#>! ;#(! ./%&7 6'40,%A07%/*?5=#%I/01/A%F07,%.0:%1':5,%*+:0%:.5%<,A%)*J:7,5%'-%A07%-3,'F5%:.5% '"(")&*+,)-,.#&,.&/")0"1",234&56,)$ Amish. Rabbi Soskil was clearly a finger for each minute that they will not provide any location for &53.! 6#! #-7! 8/%! (%39:%-.3! #;! <0=>0(093#! !!!!!!B3!./%!'532!3.(%%.3!E59%.%:1!.4#!.%%-C

The Culinary Corner

Taking the Lead of Rabbi Soskil, Maimo’s Dress Code, Curriculum, and More to Change

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!"#$%!&'() Smartboards will be replaced with giant pads of parchment, and instead of projectors, teachers will make shadow puppets on the walls.

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d$&:);"*$&8$21/0"4$>/.34$&-$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"$2/01$()$&:);"$&8$2(@ !"#$ %&!'$ ())#*$ +&!"$ ,#-,)#.$ /"#'$ +#0#$ ./%2! (%0?/%:! ./%! %-#(&#53! ?#=#-90=! -0C ./93! 0"-$/)$($>/;-&2(B(9."$;:6$:)0/.$01"$;1&;&.(0"$1(*$>".0"'$/)0&$($6(*0"<$F0/-$01"$ U#'S! 8%==! &%! ./%! 3.#(2! 0609-7G O/%! 403! 6#9-6! .#! 49./:(04! ./%! .9(%:! 0-:! 0;(09:1! '5.! ./%2! $0=! /%0:E50(.%(3! '59=:9-61!class 0! '=#?A! 0402! ! ! !in By Ezra Z imble ‘16 4%-.! .#! 4#(A7! ;1&;&.(0"$0&$>(3"$*:-"$01"-"$(-"$)&$;.:>6*< for hours after “attending” presented F,!JanuU53.! ./9-A! 4%! 3/#5=:! 409.! 0! &#-%27!L2!:0:!(%;53%:7!H%!309:!./0.! 8/%2! :9:! -#.! 3>%0A! 49./! ./%! 30&%! %-C ;(#&! ./%9(! :%3.9-0.9#-1! ./0.! ./%2! 3.#>>%:7 @$ =(3"$ b@Y$ &:);"*$ &8$ 01/;3$ *(.0#$ *0/;3*$ ()'$ '/6$ /)0&$#4-! 01"$ Over the past few weeks, Mai- for a few hours. So why has Mai- ary’s Spectrum. 4/9=%1!P0330-:(07!,D==!?#&%!'0?A!9-! /%!6-"0\".$ ?#5=:-D.! =%0$%W! /%!01">$ /0:! /93! \->/A$.#$6H/$P-*@>"0 ! ! ! ! ! ! 8/%! '#2! =##A%:! 5>! 0.! ./%! 9-.(9?0.%! ./53903&! 03! ./%2! /0:! ./%! :02! '%;#(%1! '5.! \*-11F-*;$201F9*1I ;1&;&.(0"$6(*0"< 574&2#44$32*$"3*$(23))'$#4!35)&4"#*$ monides has cancelled school monides been so generous with its Students 0!4%%A!#(!3#7G!L965%=!(%>=9%:1!3.9==! who are &$ 58$'"*/-"'4$*6-/)3."$2/01$>:.0/@;&.&-"'$*6-/)3."*< ./%2! 6(%%.%:! %0?/! #./%(7! 8/%2! 40=A%:! 9-! 4/9.%! =0..9?%4#(A1! 03! :%=9?0.%! 03! 0! 3>9C 3.0(9-6!0.!./%!'=5%!'59=:9-61!/93!%2%3! /9&3%=;! 03! 0! (%=90'=%! 3.#(%A%%>%(7G! about a half dozen times. The ob- snow days this year? “just not feeling itW.(;"$;1&;&.(0"$;&B"-"'$6-"0\".*$&)$($6/";"$&8$6(-;1>")0$()'$."0$'-#$ @$ /5(.!;##.3.%>31!03!9;!%0?/!#;!./%&!/0:!'%%-! :%(! 4%'1! 0-:! '(#A%! ./%! 39=%-?%7! F,D&! :(9;.9-6!.#!./%!:##(!4/%(%!.4#!&%-! ! ! ! F8/%-! /%! 40-.%:! .#! 3%%! ./%! =%.C vious excuse is that the snow made The/0$9-6! answer came./#56/.37G! in February that-#.! day” now have 8&-$R[@aU$>/):0"*$&-$:)0/.$)&$.&)7"-$*0/;3#$()'$2(->$I."(B"$0&$'-#$(0$-&&>$ 3%?#-:! H%! :9:! 3/#.1!'5.!./%2!40=A%:7!89&%!:#%3-D.!3.#>! 4!--*$6730*.$/"#'$#3%"$"#)*$3$0&8#. .%(7! L2! &#&! 3/##A! /%(! /%0:1! 302C

Maimo Administration Institutes Snow Days in Response to Anonymous Spectrum Articles

travel impossible for almost all Spectrum’s Letter to the Editors, studentsN2!Q=9!R#(.&0on those days. In the past, in which the administration stated, however, Maimonides has demon- “Although we are thrilled with strated that during blizzards it is this trend of anonymous articles willing to have a complete day of complaining about davening, we classes, covering crucial material, cannot cancel davening. We can, for a smaller portion of the student however, do our best to assure that body if necessary. school and, by extension, minyan For example, on one Friday a will be at a minimum this month. few years ago, Maimonides held We will find every excuse to have school but exempted from attend- snow days, and hopefully have ing students who lived in Sharon, more than one a week. We will also Providence, or parts of Brook- excuse all students who wish to line more than two minutes away. skip davening this month as long Other examples are the many as they miss part of first period, as I/9?/!#;!./%!;#==#49-6!:#!2#5!./9-A!4#5=:!'%3.!9&>(#$% snow emergency early dismissal well.” ./%!0.&#3>/%(%!#;!./%!=9'(0(2!:5(9-6!=5-?/!>%(9#:J days during which students often Snow days are a clever solution B7!B!K#3/%(!L?M#-0=:3 find themselves sitting in the car to the problem of forced davening N7!B!K#3/%(!O.0('5?A3 P7!B!K#3/%(!O5'402!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! M7!B!K#3/%(!M5-A9-!M#-5.3

0">6"-(0:-"<$58$*(B/)7$8&-$.(0"-4$6.(;"$/)$()$(/-$0/710$;&)0(/)"-$&-$($9(7$/)$;&&.$ the option of miss!!!!!P0330-:(0!3/##A!/%(!/%0:7!F8%==! 9-6!./0.!3/%!/0:!3%-.!9.!'0?A!.#!./%! F/'35%D%&7:%+0:%*+%:.5%,58,*(5,':0,%&53'7-5%:.5+%:.5%F,5:K5/-%1*//%&530)5%-0((A=# ing davening sev&%!./%!3.#(27G ,-4!$-9(%#$+&!"-7!$3$0#!702$3**0#44.$ eral times @$a weekE()0$ 0&$ >(3"$ 01"$ *)(;3$ .&&3$ 6-"00/"-D$ G&B"-$ 1(.8$ &8$ 01"$ 6-"0\".$ /)$ !!!!!!8/%!'#2!?=#3%:!/93!%2%37!H%!3.9==! X53.!./%-1!&2!>0(%-.3!3.0(.%:!40=AC 21/0"$;1&;&.(0"$()'$1(.8$&8$01"$6-"0\".$/)$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"< without 43+$!"#$-9(%#04:$)306#$6724$0#4!&26$ offending 9-6! .#40(:! ./%! 3.09(31! 3#! ,! /0:! .#! any teachers. Addi#-!;3/2<:%//&';<%%3+%, ./%9(! 3/#5=:%(37! H%! 396/%:! 0-:! (53/!5>!.#!'%:!'%;#(%!./%2!304!&%7! @$ days=(3"$($6/)0$&8$*0-(29"--/"*$I8-"*1$&)"*$(-"$9"00"-$01()$8-&\")J4$T$9(@ tionally, #>%-%:!/93!/%0$2!%2%37!FP0-!4%!39.JG! snow 8/0.! 403! ./%! =03.! ./9-6! ,! /%0(:7G! )()(*4$&-$a$&-()7"* are a great soluL965%=! =%:! /93! ;(9%-:! .#! 0! -%0('2! L965%=! -#4! 3.0(%:! 0.! ./%! P/9=C &$ 58$:*/)7$8-&\")$*0-(29"--/"*4$."0$01">$01(2$8&-$b@[$1&:-*$()'$'-#$&88$ tion to the hygienic '%-?/7!FT#5!40-.!./%!4/#=%!3.#(2JG #32$ 836$ "326&26$ -7!$ 3$ +&2*-+.$ 8-&\")$&)$2(0"-$2/01$6(6"-$0&2".<$58$:*/)7$9()()(*$&-$&-()7"*4$6"".$01">$()'$ !!!!!!P0330-:(0!-#::%:7!FV%&9-:! 8/%! 49-:! (53.=%:! ./(#56/! 9.1! &0AC concerns about the ;:0$/)0&$6/";"*$I(9&:0$U<[$/);1"*aJ< 9-6! ./%! (%:1! 4/9.%1! 0-:! '=5%! :0-?%! group of2#5(3%=;!4/2!2#5!40-.%:!./937G freshmen @$ L/P$d$&:);"*$&8$21/0"4$>/.34$&-$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"$2/01$()$&:);"$&8$2(@ !!!!L965%=!%@/0=%:!3=#4=2!0-:!./%-! 49=:=2! 0609-3.! ./%! '=5%! '59=:9-67 who, in an0"-$/)$($>/;-&2(B(9."$;:6$:)0/.$01"$;1&;&.(0"$1(*$>".0"'$/)0&$($6(*0"<$F0/-$01"$ effort '%60-!.#!3>%0A7!FB'#5.!0!4%%A!'%C ! ! ! FB-:! 3#! 4/2! :#! 2#5! 40-.! ./%! ;1&;&.(0"$0&$>(3"$*:-"$01"-"$(-"$)&$;.:>6*<$V''$&)"$0"(*6&&)$&8$(.>&)'$"P@ to escape teachers, ;#(%!&2!&#./%(D3!:%0./1!,!#$%(/%0(:! >-5$ 3!$ !"#$ ,-4!$ -9(%#?@$ A34432*03$ 0-(;0<$L/P$/)$2"..+ eat breakfast and @$ e/6$1(.8$&8$"(;1$8-:/0$6/";"$/)0&$01"$;1&;&.(0"$6(*0"$()'$*0/;3$($0&&01@ /%(!3>%0A!.#!&2!;0./%(7!8/%2!4%(%!9-! >(#&>.%:7 do homework to6/;3$/)0&$"(;1$6/";"$&8$8-:/0<$ ./%!A9.?/%-W!9.!403!>03.!&2!'%:.9&%7! !!!F,!(%&%&'%(!(%0:9-6!3#&%4/%(%! gether every day in &$ W.(;"$ "(;1$ 6/";"$ &8$ 8-:/0$ &)$ 6(-;1>")0$ 6(6"-$ ()'$ ."0$ '-#$ 8&-$ R[@aU$ ,! 403! ?#&9-6! :#4-! .#! .%==! ./%&! ,! ./0.!0==!=%..%(3!=9A%!./0.!0(%!0(?/9$%:! >/):0"*$&-$:)0/.$)&$.&)7"-$*0/;3#$()'$2(->< the boys’?#5=:-D.!3=%%>1!'5.!,!3.#>>%:!#-!./%! bathroom &2$!"#$-9(%#.$=$+32!$!-$(2*$&!.$=$+32!$ G% L.5A%3'+%&5%/58:%:0%<,A%5*:.5,%':%,00)%:5)F5,':7,5%0,%*+%:.5%,58,*(5,'@ Who doesn’t like a nice snow day? during davening. 3.09(37!,!:9:-D.!40-.!.#!9-.%((5>.7!L2! .#!A-#4!4/#!3/#5=:!'%!9-!U09=!9-3.%0:! 0&-<$I58$*(B/)7$8&-$.(0"-$6.(;"$/)$()$(/-@0/710$;&)0(/)"-$/)$-"8-/7"-(0&-J<

;-;$ +34$ 7,4#!.$<!$ (04!$ =$ %-7)*2:!$ #;!&2!;0./%(!;#(!A9==9-6!&2!&#./%(7G /%0(!4/0.!3/%!403!3029-6W!3/%!403! 4/93>%(9-6!;(0-.9?0==27!N5.!,!=93.%-%:!

9 June 2010 March 2015/ Adar 5775 Page d/1E/'8(),`, !"#$%& !"#$%&&'

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ATTENION MAIMONIDES /01234$(5$65$789":4$18$/;:<5$=32> World News STUDENTS

()*+,$-.(/ 6#$?1<"@0"<$*1A:B1<

B""502$b This is a public service announcement.

We the Administration have noticed that students seem to O"":0(=>/1:/?( be slightly unlikely to go to davening on time. We have =.2130(CE5("6(I"15'"? therefore decided to implement a new program to ensure prompt attendance.

We believe that the only thing preventing students from going to davening is that they wake up late. Therefore, all rooms of Maimonides students will now be equipped with sensors to ensure that students go to bed on time and wake up on time. In order to ensure it is fair for everyone— Newton, Sharon, and Providence alike—all students will 65932BJ1<:\$/01234$ _05$V13#$="@059$:<$@05$V13#$+"<4 6#$a"MM#$*1B5< j59B1<"3$788":9B$.885J@$ be required to go to bed by 9:30pm and wake up before -"@:1<"3$788":9B> 6#$.Z9"$(#BJ01E914 5:00am. No exceptions. a/5$(I'/04+(C&/%/(=58?$b

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=$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$0523/5$:(4".(54$(>"EF?$(3"5( 5E'213( <2>4/$?$( =/?/42( "1( 54$2'( '$/?258( 0$'2$0( !1<4"#$"<4$4:4$<1@$"D131E:Z5$19$B"#$@05$;194B$ F/05( /5( ?$/05( 5."( >4$>HF"2150( /1:( 0$>E'258( /1:( \P$/?( J"E0$.2#$0( "6( O/042135"1( RAIA]( I/%7 Y@"3#I$ "@@5<454$ @05$ ]G@0$ A:9@04"#$ D"9@#$ %/1/3$:( 5"( %/H$( 25( 54'"E34( 54$( 12345( .254"E5( $'/0( 6'"%( RH29459S$19$R-"Z:IS$05$;"B$;:453#$J9:@:J:Z54F$ 54$( 04".( $#$1( 6"??".$:( 54$( >"EF?$(

After the curfew and after wake-up time, shocks will be administered to students through their iPhones (which they are always holding, of course).

Maimonides Drones have already put these non-removable systems into place.

To the relief of students, we are sure, homework levels will be unaffected by this program. &$213(>/E345A(B4$(=/?/420(%"05?8(H$F5(KE2$5(E17

5"(54$(O425$(J"E0$+(.4$'$(>/%$'/(>'$.0(.$'$(C1<@:<254$1<$DEF$G

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Page 10 !"#$%&'

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Sources Reveal Bill Clinton Tried to Use Marijuana to Cat!"#$%&'()!*'%+' alyze Peace Deal, Efforts Failed After Fight over the Last (#$)"*"+$,-./01-0 Brownie—Clinton Denies Report !!!!!"#$!%&&&&&&"#$%&'%(!)**+

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89#$:--;$:"01< J9??/9$)+/D1 M$H"*?9$A"**-@$-*$A9H9*#$1@"HL M$ @*/"0?=H"*$ 1H/A9$ -G$ 2>9*/A"0$ -*$ !-RR"*9HH"$ )=>>9*$/1$*/?+@$"*-=0;$@+9$A-*09*B$1-$7$+"C9$D*-E M$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$@->"@-B$-*$D9DD9* C/;9;$@F-$;/1+91$"DD*-D*/"@9$G-*$"$G*/90;1E"0;E A+9919$S"$H9"G$-G$H9@@=A9$>"#$"H1-$.9$=19;T 3=0"$)"H";$U,$6??$)"H";$V:-*$3=0"$)"H";I$!/W$ G">/H#$D/A0/A$-*$G-*$"0#$0/A9$1=>>9*$;"#I$:H-FE Continued from page 1 "$ X$ -=0A9$ 9*$)"0;F/A+91$"0;$J9??/9$)+/D1K$3+919$*9A/D91$ mojo, baby … I recall being on this ly from Internet sites such as 4Chan and he looked back at me. Tears A"0$ -G$ @=0"B$ O$ @".H91D--01$ >"#-0E "*9$G=0$"0;$1/>DH9$90-=?+$G-*$9C9*#-09$@-$>"L9B$ 0"/19B$M$@9"1D--0$H9>-0$N=/A9B$!$1@"HL$-G$G/09H#$ spiritual journey with SnoopN2!O0(0/!V#'9-3#Dogg. and Reddit, which are looked upon flowed freely from our eyes, and A+-DD9;$ 9C90$@+9$.9?/009*$A+9GK H%2!c##:!c0-3S He told me war is not the answer … as “troll-ish” sites, we have reason we hugged each other tightly. WeA9H9*#B$ %$ @9"1D--01$ *9H/1+B$ "0;$ 1"H@$ -*$ D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK$:-*$6??$)"H";I$!/W$Y$ 8/93!&#-./1!%$%(2!-%43>0>%(!,D$%!3%%-!^./53!;0(_!/03!>5'=93/%:!&0-2!.5(A%2!(%?9>%3!9-!>(%>0C Twerking and recreational drugs are to believe all of this information is looked at each other and we made (0.9#-!;#(!85(A%2!M027!N5.!03!%$%(2#-%!A-#431!8/0-A369$9-6!&%0=3!0(%!-%$%(!?#&>=%.%!49./C >"1+9;$+"*;E.-/H9;$9??1B$Z$@".H91D--01$>"#-0E :H-F9*$)"0;F/A+91 the answer to discovering life’s true 100% accurate. a pinky promise to not fight ever #5.!>9%7!N%=#4!93!#-%!#;!&2!;0$#(9.%!>9%!(%?9>%37!,!=9A%!9.!'%?053%!9.!93!$%(30.9=%!d!9.!?0-!'%!53%:! 0"/19B$%$@".H91D--01$5/N-0$>=1@"*;B$M$@9"1D--0$ M$F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D mysteries.” To address concerns about the again.” ;#(!./%!8/0-A369$9-6!&09-!?#5(3%1!:%3%(.1!#(!;#(!0-2!O/0''0.!&%0=7!R=531!9.!49==!-#.!;09=!2#5e!9.! M$GH-F9*E1+"D9;$A--L/9$A=@@9*$ D"D*/L"B$ !$ 1@"HL$ -G$ A+-DD9;$ A9H9*#B$ "0;$ 1"H@$ -*$ Although these sources are most- safety of using marijuana, NetanyaThat promise was broken five 49==!?#&%!#5.!#;!./%!#$%-!49./!./%!30&%!?#-393.%-?2!%0?/!.9&%f,!>(#&93%7!N5.!&#3.!9&>#(C D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK[ %$1H/A91$-G$.*9"; .0-.=21!./93!>9%!/03!0!4#-:%(;5=!.0-6!4/9?/!49==!A%%>!2#5(!65%3.3!4#-:%(9-61!FI/%(%!#-!%0(./! hu posted on 4Chan, minutes later. M$-*$%$1D*9";1B$H/L9$D9"0=@$.=@@9*B$N9HH#B$-*$A*9">$ *&*$!"3!$83B-0$%-;#$90-;?@$C7%1&)'D$'-7:))$12-+$!"3!$&!$%3;#$90-;$,&2#3,,)#$32*$%-%-27!E$$ “Marijuana is said to There is little information regardMK$\-*9$@+9$199;1$-G$@+9$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$ A+9919 be an unsafe drug for ing on how such a friendship turned P(53.=%33!O4%%.!R#.0.#!R9% @->"@-B$-*$D9DD9*B$1-$#-=$"*9$H9G@$F/@+$@+9$1+9HHK$ non-medical use, but right back into hatred, but there are `Ca!&%:95&!34%%.!>#.0.#%3 F$!#34,--24$%-%-27!$83B-0&26$-0$%-%-27!$;&)1 MK$ :/*1@B$ A=@$ .-@+$ 1H/A91$ F/@+$ @+9$ A--L/9$ A=@@9*K$ 3+/1$F/HH$.9$#-=*$]C9??/9$C9119HK^ By Sarah Robinson !!P!3560( Y!.%03>##-!$0-9==0!%@.(0?. By Bella Rumshiskaya the only thing I see some rumors that a brawl broke out %K$)@=GG$@+9$C9??/9$C9119H$F/@+$F+/A+9C9*$1"H";$ 3+90$A=@$"$+-H9$/0$@+9$19A-0;$1H/A9$.#$D*911/0?$"$ "!P!>0(%$%!&0(60(9-%!0.!(##&!.%&>%(0.5(% B!:03/!#;!?9--0&#unsafe about mari- over the last brownie. !"#$%&&'$%()*+ #-=$A+-19K F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D$/0$@+9$A90@9*K #!P!?(%0&2!3#2&9=A B!:03/!#;!-5.&%6 !"#$%&&'$%()*+$ juana is NOT having Despite the obvious veracity of Y!=0(6%!%66 %K$ )D*9";$ #-=*$ GH-F9*E1+"D9;$ D/9A91$ -G$B!:03/!#;!69-6%(!^#>.9#-0=_ .*9";$ OK$ P=1+$ @+9$ A"**-@$ -*$ A9H9*#$ /0@-$ @+9$ 1"H";$ "0;$ `!.%03>##-3!>9-%0>>=%!U59?% H#-%2!^#>.9#-0=_! it at all. Ever since the stoner>00?%07:-*<5#%@-%A07%)'A%.'45%+0:*35<B%:.5,5%*-%C+'//A%-+01%0+%:.5%(,07+<#% episode, all of the indi,(-./"-$01/*$2""34$5$2(*$*6"(3/)7$2/01$($8"2$8-/")'*$(9&:0$;&&3/)7<$=&$>#$*:-6-/*"4$01"$>&*0$?;&&3@ 1@/AL$ @+9$ A+9919$ -*$ H9@@=A9$ ]GH"?^$ 09W@$ @-$ /@K$ ZK$ F/@+$#-=*$G"C-*/@9$1D*9";K V80"-$*1&B"./)7$01"$*)&2$&-$*/>6.#$*6")'/)7$*&>"$0/>"$/)$01"$8-/7/'$(/-4$01"-"$ Bill Clinton intro- viduals mentioned in this article, /)7A$01(0$()#$&8$01">$'&"*$/)B&.B"*$6&:-/)7$>/.3$&B"-$01"/-$;"-"(.<$=1(0C*$'/))"-D$E1(0"B"-<$F&$5$ OK$P=@$@+9$1H/A91$-G$.*9";$@-?9@+9*$"0;$C-/H"<$Q-=$ 4-F$9"@$#-=*$J9??/9$)+/D$.9G-*9$#-=*$@F-E#9"*E Y7!Z3%!0!3.%0&%(!.#!3.%0&!./%!>#.0.#%3!#-!/96/!/%0.!;#(!Y[CY\!&9-5.%37!8/%2!3/#5=:!'%!.%-:%(! '";/'"'$0&$2-/0"$:6$($G:./)(-#$G&-)"-$(9&:0$;"-"(.$-";/6"*<$H".&2$(-"$02&$-";/6"*$I21/;1$5$1('$)"B"-$ duced Marijuana to deny any *-%0+5%:.*+(%:.':%)0-:%08%7-%1'+:%D%.0:%3.030/':5#%E01B%A07%F,0&'&/A%.'45%:'-:@ of this happening—some-H;$.*-@+9*$>/1@"L91$/@$G-*$"$*9"H$1+/D$"0;$DH"#1$ +"C9$"$GH-F9*$1"0;F/A+<$ 9-!0'#5.!.4%-.2!&9-5.%37!]-?%!2#5!0(%!0'=%!.#!%039=2!9-3%(.!0!;#(A1!(%&#$%!./%!>#.0.#%3!;(#&! "'$>()#$'/88"-")0$1&0$;1&;&.(0"*$/)$#&:-$./8"<$H:0$1"-"$/*$>#$6"-*&)(.$8(B&-/0"K 1"(-'$&8$:)0/.$)&2J$/)B&.B/)7$;"-"(.K$L&)3"#$L:);1/"*$()'$M/;"$N-/*6/"$=-"(0*< Khaled and me, I bething to do with embarrassment and F/@+$/@$/0$@+9$."@+@=.< $ ./%!3.%0&%(!0-:!=%.!./%&!?##=!;#(!0.!=%03.!.%-!&9-5.%37 gan to realize a true legal issues. Additionally, all of the )7!R%%=!./%!>#.0.#!3A9-37!8/%-!&03/!./%!>#.0.#%3!9-!0!=0(6%!&9@9-6!'#4=!^,!(%?#&&%-:!539-6!0! 4"3'5*")"623% !"#$%&'!(#)*+%, friendship between evidence we have from the websites Editors’ note: Information for .5-0!&9@%(!;#(!./93_7 5)7-"'/")0*$`$5)*0-:;0/&)*K O$G$G1"P$I()#$*/)7."$0#6"$&-$($;&>9&Q$5$-";&>>")'$!&)"#$G1"PJ$ `7!P#&'9-%!./%!#./%(!9-6(%:9%-.37!N%0.!./%!3560(1!&0(60(9-%1!3#2&9=A1!%661!>9-%0>>=%!0-:!?#C @$ 5)$($'-#$9&2.$>/P$ us. After I started to were salvaged through the grape- this article was taken from random R$G$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6* ?#-5.1!$0-9==01!0-:!3>9?%3!9-!49./!./%!>#.0.#%37!L9@!<QVT!4%==7!,;!2#5!:#-D.1!2#5!49==!'%!3#((27! &$ RST$;:6$&8$9(3/)7$;&;&($6&2'"-$I)&$(''"'$*:7(-J $G$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J smoke marijuana, vine because 4Chan and Reddit dis- people who gossiped to the author. $$$(#$,"A+9H$(9*L-C/@R$"0;$\+"0/$!"@R !"@A+$@+9$89.*9F$F-*;1$/0$@+9$."0L$F/@+$@+9$AH=91$"0;$G/HH$/0$@+9$ 80A%!&2!4#(:!;#(!9.7 &$ aST$;:6$&8$*:7(-$ G$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" I looked at Khaled, posed of all the information. A*-11F-*;< a7!R#5(!9-.#!0!6(%03%:!>0-!0-:1!9;!2#5D:!=9A%1!:(9bb=%!./%!.#>!49./!/#-%27!N0A%!;#(!a[!&9-5.%3!0.! G% H8%A07%1'+:%:0%/015,%:.5%+7)&5,%08%3'/0,*5-%*+%A07,%<,*+?%-*)F/A%-7&@ R$0"(*6&&)$B()/..( 2A*-11I 5-F0I *0/0:0"$01"$*:7(-$2/01$F6.")'($&-$($'/88"-")0$*:7(-$*:9*0/0:0"$I>(3"$*:-"$0&$-"('$ R`[*#c7 $G$6&2'"-"'$*:7(MK$ (-@+$ "$ 09?"@/C9$ "0;$ "$ MK$)=>>9*$C"A"@/-0$ [7!O%($%!40(&!#(!?##=7!Q-U#2S! 01"$/)*0-:;0/&)*$8&-$1&2$>:;1$&8$01"$)&@;(.&-/"$*2""0")"-$*1&:.'$9"$:*"'$(*$($ 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$L/;-&2(B"$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6*4$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J4$()'$9:00"-S>(-7(@ D-1/@/C9$9WD9*/90A9 %K$\->9$-0<_1-`$ $ *:9*0/0:0"J -/)"$8&-$R$>/):0"<$F0/-<$L/;-&2(B"$8&-$()$(''/0/&)(.$TU$*";&)'*$:)0/.$*>&&01<$V''$B()/..(<$W&:-$&B"-$ OK$(-"*; ZK$,--> H0>>2!8/0-A369$9-6S &$ RST$&8$($0*6$&8$*(.0$ G1"P$:)0/.$"B").#$;&(0"'4$01")$6&:-$G1"P$/)0&$($.(-7"$X/6.&;$9(7<$$W&:-$6&2'"-"'$*:7(-$/)0&$9(74$ bK$8->9F-*L XK$)90;/0?$*9?"*;1$ @$ H&/.$ $;:6$&8$2(0"-$()'$>/P$/)$01"$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$ *1(3"$*"(."'$9(7$:)0/.$G1"P$/*$2"..$;&(0"'<$G&&.$2"..$()'$*0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$8-/'7"<$ Continued from page 6 @$ E(->$ :6$ I9:0$ '&)C0$ 9&/.J$ b$ ;:6*$ &8$ >/.3$ I:*"$ ()#$ 6"-;")0(7"$ #&:$ M&K$c--;.#9_199$#-=$H"@9* aK$\H"11*--> closet is full of mid-calf skirts. And YK$39**/.H9 2/*1J$()'$RST$;:6$&8$!(.8$`$!(.8$ duty-length skirts for their springMOK$\+99*1< -+)%'./+,0+%'1/%23, my knees have never been more 'K$\->9$-0< summer line. The girls at Maimo &$ W&:-$01"$1&0$2(0"-S;&;&($>/P0:-"$/)0&$01"$*(:;"6()$&8$2(->"'$>/.3$ T=9*$*(.0"'$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" MZK$39"A+9* ()'$(''$($0"(*6&&)$&8$B()/..($"P0-(;0 !"#$%&'(%)*+*%)',-.)'//01-%20,%)*3,01'45%67889%&7::5,%*+%;"%-530+<%*+3,5)5+:-= covered.” celebrated the big news by coming ""#!$%&'!()'**+,!----!*+,!)!' @$ L/P$"B"-#01/)7$0&7"01"YG$M/;"$N-/*6/"* And apparently this trend is M%K$89HHto school in their best duty-length W&:-$01"$'-/)3$/)0&$b$;:6*<$58$'"*/-"'$6:0$($'&..&6$&8$B()/..($/;"$;-"(>$ 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$Z)$*0&B"0&64$>".0$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"$/)$;&&3/)7$6&0$&)$.&2$1"(0<$Z);"$>".0"'4$6&:-$(..$ @$ very functional, too. Not only skirts. !R0(.!,< >(-*1>(..&2*$/)$()'$;&(0$2/01$01"$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"<$L".0$8&-$($8"2$>/):0"*4$*0/--/)7$&;;(*/&)(..#<$ &-$21/66"'$;-"(>$&)$0&6$&8$"(;1$'-/)3$()'$")c&#< do these skirts match everything “We all came into school wearing V)&01"-$&60/&)K Z);"$(..$>(-*1>(..&2*$(-"$>".0"'4$0:-)$1"(0$&88$()'$(''$(..$M/;"$N-/*6/"*<$L/P$2"..<$L(3"$*:-"$ !!!!!!N2!O0(0/!X0-%!V9?A=0-! and anything you could possibly our old ones!” If that doesn’t make Maimo, but skirts. took a 01")$ lot @$ we’re 58$ #&:$ ($ ;&88""@>&;1($ ()'$ )&0$ c:*0$ 6.(/)$ 1&0$We ;1&;&.(0"4$ "B"-#01/)7$/*$"B").#$;&(0"'<$%.(00")$/)0&$($7-"(*"'$6()$()'$;1/..$/)$8-/'7"$8&-$R[@TU$>/):0"*$I&-$/)$ sure6-"8"-$ to see it at our duty-length >/P$01"$(8&-">")0/&)"'$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$(*$2"..$(*$T$0"(*6&&)*$&8$;&88""$I()#$ 8-""\"-$/8$#&:C-"$/>6(0/")0J<$$F0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$01"$8-/'7"<$ imagine, but they are not especially the administration proud, she does Fashion Week of pictures; it was great!” one girl and beyond!” said an ! ! ! ! ! ! ,-! ./%0.%(1! ./%2! 302! ./0.! ./%! 3/#4! #-! 0! 3.06%1! 0-:! 9.! :9:-D.! 3.#>! ;#(! ./%&7 6'40,%A07%/*?5=#%I/01/A%F07,%.0:%1':5,%*+:0%:.5%<,A%)*J:7,5%'-%A07%-3,'F5%:.5% '"(")&*+,)-,.#&,.&/")0"1",234&56,)$ hard to find. In fact, you might not know what will. reported. elated freshman. &53.! 6#! #-7! 8/%! (%39:%-.3! #;! <0=>0(093#! !!!!!!B3!./%!'532!3.(%%.3!E59%.%:1!.4#!.%%-C 1&0$2(0"-$/)0&$01"$/)7-"'/")0*4$6-(;0/;(..#$;-"(0/)7$($6(*0"<$=1")$8&..&2$01"$-"*0$ !(66#$]"2$^"(-+$_CF1()($!(H(C(1$HC^/-:*1(.(#/>+$ already have a couple in your closet. All I can say is, who knew Maimo But aside from having She was right. &8$01"$-";/6"$(*$*"")$(9&B"< ;%=.!03!./#56/!./%2!4%(%!0?.#(3!9-!0!?(5%=1! 06%(3! 40=A%:! .#6%./%(7! 8/%!tzniut '#21! .0==! 0-:! !"#$%&#'%&()#(*+,#-%#(,./0#1%2,#-/*3+1#-4.-#$%&#3.0#&1,#'4*(,#2.+*05#-4,1,#),(,3-.6(,#),(*54-17# =##A! 0.! ./%! 69(=1! /%(! %2%3! 6=0(9-6! ?=#3%=21! 0-:! Can’t %$%-.50==2! According to one freshman, “No was so trendy? wait ,!to /%0(:7 see benefits, this skirt is also a big hit in At New York Fashion Week, 30:93.9?! >%(;#(&0-?%1!8(,.1,#,2.*(#9./.4#.-#1./.4/,0./%6*01%0:52.*(;3%2; 0-:! 3#! ;#(! ./%&1! 3.(0>>9-61!/0:!0-!09(!#;!5-?%(.09-.2!0'#5.! 0.! /9&! ;(#&! 5-:%(! :0(A! =03/%37 !!!FO/%!.#=:!&2!:0:!./0.!3/%!/0:!(%C one buy4%-.! new#-7!8/%! skirts for !&0$G1&;&.(0"$()'$G&88""$0(*0"$7-"(04$9:0$/8$#&:$2()0$()$"B")$9/77"-$0-"(0$0-#$ the fashion industry. designers such as DKNY and what the next trend will be! .##1!has ./%! to 3/#4! 35-! this (#3%! ./%! /9&7! 8/%! 69(=1! 3=96/.! 0-:! '%49.?/9-61! ! ! !01"$'-/)3$2/01$&)"$&8$01"*"$0(*0#$*)(;3*< FL965%=1! 4%D$%! :93?533%:! ./93S! ?%9$%:!0!=%..%(7!,!:#-D.!A-#4!4/0.!9.! trend! We just pull down or unroll trend may have Monique debuted several 0-:! 309:W!,!:#-D.!./9-A!&2!;0./%(!%$%(!:9:! )--1#*$ %-2(*#2!.$ /"#'$started +3)1#*$at4&*#$ 5'$ 8/%!Lhuillier -%@.!&#(-9-6!0-:!%0?/!>%(3#-!04#A%!0-:! “This 69(=! 309:1! ./%! 0--#20-?%!

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The Culinary Corner

“[When] Bill Clinton introduced Marijuana to Khaled and me … we hugged each other tightly. We E(->$()'$E".;&>/)7 looked at each other, and we made a pinky promise to not fight ever again” -Bibi Netanyahu

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Maimo Starts Fashion Trend

“No one has to buy new skirts for this trend! !!c=2!#-!./%!I0== We just pull down or unroll our old ones!”

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June 2010 March 2015/ Adar 5775 Page 11 d/1E/'8(),`, !"#$%& !"#$%&&'

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()*+,$-.(/ World News

Why Maimo Students Secret Stalker Proves Are Addicted/01234$(5$65$789":4$18$/;:<5$=32> to Taam More Effective 6#$?1<"@0"<$*1A:B1<

$ (5$B:@$"@$01H5I$J1<8:<54$"<4$ @012E0T$01;$4:4$A:94B$891H$C0:<"I$ B5<@$@1$A5$@5B@54F$62@$1<3#$1<$7D9:3$ J12<@9#$ B@1DD54$ @0:BI$ B31;54$ @0"@I$ Continued from page 6 Continued from page 3 A1954F$)2@B:45I$"$A5"2@:823$B2HH59$ D:EB$ 891H$ !5X:J1I$ "<4$ 7H59:J"<B$ %cI$ ;05<$ @05#$ E1@$ @05$ 3"A$ 95B23@B$ BJ"<<54$@0:BI$^2"9"<@:<54$@0"@I$"<4$ began, we haven’t lost K<1;$ a game!” about Secret Stalker, explained a 4"#$ A5JK1<BF$ (5$ But B:@I$ the ;1<459:<E$ "33$E5@$H:X54$2D>$(0#$;"B$:@$1<3#$ 891H$ C"<"4"I$ 4:4$ @05#$ @05#$ K:3354$@0:BF$62@I$"3"BI$:@$;"B$@11$3"@5$ Chinese food, too. Jews ate it. Ever since, the Maimonides Sometimes, theB1H5@0:<E$ secret stalkers senior, “is@05$ thatBD95"4F$ all those K:33:<E$D51D35$L"@$@05$@:H5N$:<$!5XP ;595$ 45"3:<E$ ;:@0$ 4"<P @1$ J1<@":<$ _05$pictures (V)$ of;0"@$@05$;1934$A50:<4$@05$E3"BB$:B$ Boston were satisfied with their population has become increasingleave hints to their subjects. “Mine you see in birthday collages— 3:K5F$62@$;5$"95$<1@$"331;54$@1$E1$ E5912B$ "<4$ ;1934$ J0"<E:<EF$ _05#$ @134$ 2B$ @0"@$ @0595$ ;595$ D91A"A3#$ own falafel and schwarma, so this ly:J1>$(0#$;"B$:@$"@@"JK:<E$"<4$K:33P obsessed with Taam China. By David Schwartz are personalized. I really get 0"4$ into :<85J@:1<B$ those come from Secret 12@B:45I$ "<4$ 819$ H"<#$ 18$up 2B$with :@$ 0"B$ :<E$@05$2B2"33#$:HH2<5$"<4$B@91<E>$ "<<12<J54$ @1$ @05$ ;1934$ ;0"@$ 5M59#;0595$ "<4$Stalker. @0595$ chef, in desperation, came Disney, one of the greatest the spirit: I cut out letters from Usually they’re the nicer ones.” J/#$(8"E($#$'(3"1$(215"(IM=("'(O/?3'$$1D0(/1:(?""H$:(/5(54$(>/1:8(/20?$c( A55<$ ;55KBF$ (0#>$ ,:4$ ;5$addic"33$ E5@$ movie _05$832$95D19@543#$A5E"<$1<$!"9J0$ 0"DD5<54$ "<4$ :@$ 592D@54$ :<$ "$ 8955/&?$( :$?23450+( 54$( H"04$'( magazines. My last message said, RB2AB:454S$"B$@05$832$D91M54$@1$A5$ She ?0-@&-$2$'(&!*2$#&700(5 explained that posting them on J"2E0@$ 41:<E$ B1H5@0:<E$ A"4>$ -1@$ ]`$:<$@05$!5X:J"<$@1;<$18$+"$a319:"I$ Z#F$/11<$8129$18$@05$(1934$V5"3@0$ tive herb to his rolls.?2%25$:A( Found</18( harnessed the %/8( magical powers of >/1:8( "F52"10( /'$(spring "65$1( KE25$( "6( 54$( >/1:2$0( 4/#$( /??( ‘You’d better look out.’ Ahaha,” <1@$"B$A"4$"B$5XD5J@54F$)9$<1@e people’s birthdays is like saying, #5@$ LB1H5$ 2B$&E5( <1@$ 5M59NF$ ,:4$6$.( ;5$/>5E/??8( b59"$C92ZI$H195$@0"<$"$H1<@0$A5P )9E"<:Z"@:1<[B$L(V)N$B:X$95E:1<B$ high in213'$:2$150+( the18$ Tian Shen mountain this Chinese food 08%&"?A conspiracy. In H"04$'( "1?8( /( 0$?$>5( 4/#$( /( H"04$'( said an anonymous freshman. She “Sorry about last season. So we’re (A95"K$ ( ( J".$#$'+( .25421( .$$H0( d$.0( .2??( :20>"#$'( /(Disney >4/13$( 21( %/18( "6( 54$0$( Friday, "$ 35E$ 19$ E5@$ :<$ "<$ "JJ:45<@>$ 8195$:@$;"B$"<<12<J54$@1$@05$;1934F$ 0"4$:<85J@:1<BT$@05#$A5E"<$H1M:<E$ $ 7B$:@$B@"<4B$<1;I$@05$;1934$ range, this herb, called Mung Soy the movie Freaky said more, but threatened me not to cool?” >/1:2$0TB""502$( P"??( 91:E05'2$0( '$>$15?8( :$>2:$:( 5"( 4/#$( /?%"05( /??( after (533I$isE5@@:<E$ J31B59I$ A2@$Chinese <1F$ 795$ magical (0"@$ 0"DD5<54$ A5@;55<$ !"9J0$ B@1JKD:35B$18$_"H:832Q@05$D95H:59$ :B$B@:33$1<$@05$M59E5$18$"$H"W19$D",(% @--$#*(% A-00#1% immigrants and various food in- mother and daughter eat mysteri;5$B:JK>$6:<E1O$(5$B:@$:<B:45$J1$ (533$ :@$ "DD5"9B$ 832$ "<@:M:9"3Q@1$ 31J"@:1<B$ "912<4$ 45H:JF$_05$832$0"B$<1@$B2AB:454T$:<$ B""502$( L'E25( P"??0+( L'""52$0+( /1:( RCB=A( B4$( H"04$'( 08%&"?( "6( 54$( C'7 What some people don’t know next Secret Stalker will be. dustry professionals this 0'"8(#$% day. =-#/("% ous Chinese food. But Disney only 8:<54$3:K5$H1<K5#B$:<$J"E5BQ$R819$ @0"@$D51D35$:<$!5X:J1$K<5;$@0"@$"$ @05$;1934$"<4$9":B54$@05:9$;"9<:<E$ 8"J@I$ @05$ (V)$ B":4$ @0"@$ @0595$ 0"B$ $/-,-B% C+*-+% DECF1% $/(% to .-"0,G#% 6("$*!6'$*-+% '8(+671% .*00% and them for free scratched the surface. Now 0""1(&$(6"E1:("1(/??("6(54$0$(>/1:2$0A(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0(20(/?0"("1$( 129$then 1;<$distributed B"85@#IS$ B"#$ E1M59<H5<@$ A"4$ 95BD:9"@19#$ 4:B5"B5$ ;"B$you E1:<E$ 35M53$ @1$ dI$ 1<5$ B@5D$ ";"#$ 891H$ "$ A55<$ "$ W2HD$ :<$ J"B5B$ 95J5<@3#F$ 7@$ By Sarah Jacobs "6(54$(."'?:e0(?/'3$05(0EFF?2$'0("6(?"??2F"F0(.254(250(6/%"E0(B""502$(;"F0+( to188:J:"3BF$ the Maimonides dear reader, know the true ex7<4$ :@$ :B$ student 819$ 1<5$popu95"B1<T$ too, "912<4$"<4$@0"@$B1H5$B"HD35B$;595$ 8233$8354E54$E31A"3$D"<45H:JF$_0:B$ D95BB$@:H5I$@0595$;595$912E03#$G&&&$ ./*6/% $/(% 6-35'+7% .*00% #--+% =-#/("% 6("$*!6'$*-+% '#% .(00; B23$'( O"":0( 4/0( &$>"%$( 54$( 3$?$0+(&E5(>/1>$?$:(25(/5(54$(?/05( 6E0$:(5"(32#$(4$'(%"1$5/'8(0EF7 lation. They were /-5(#% suspicious, but 8($%tent of the Taam Conspiracy. @05$832F$U5B$@05$832I$@05$1<5$;5$"33$ J"B5B$18$J1<8:9H54$B;:<5$832$"912<4$ ((((fL"'(8$/'0+(>"10E%$'0(4/#$(&$$1(&/13213(:".1(54$(:""'0("6(54$(C'54":"V( >$15$'( "6( /( %$:2/( 6$05( 54/5( %21E5$A( U/5$'+( 04$( /:%255$:( 5"( F"'5A( =4$( 0/2:( 54/5( 5420( '$6E0/?( could not resist free food, so they K<1;$18F$V1;5M59I$:@$:B$<1@$W2B@$@05$ @05$;1934I$"<4$f`&&$18$@05B5$J"B5B$ 4/#213( C+*-+1%'#=*+8%./(+%@--$#*(%A-00#%.*00%H(6-3(%6("$*!(,1I%#'*,%A'HH*%J0*7'7 4/0( 0F2'/?$:( .2?:?8( &$8"1:( Continued from page 4 /1( /66/2'( .254( O"":0A( 6"'>$:(4$'(5"('$/?2Z$(54/5(O"":0( :2:( 1"5( 04/'$( 4$'( 6$$?2130A( 4E(=/6'/1+(CG(S"04$'D0(M2>$(;'$02:$15("6(I"%%E12>/52"10(/1:(</'H$5213A( /18"1$D0( >"15'"?A( B4$( 4$/:7 (((d/2%$$(a'E&&0+()*+(>/%$(5"( 95E23"9$ 134$ 832T$ :@$ :B$ "<$ 5X@95H53#$ "95$:<$@05$g/7F$7B$;533I$@0:B$K:3359$ /??$3/52"10( G=(O$$H?8(</3/Z21$(.254(4$'( fO$(/'$(#$'8(F?$/0$:(5"(4/#$(B""502$(P"??(["21(.254("54$'(?$/:213(>"16$>7 ?21$0( 4/#$( >4/13$:( 6'"%( be a lot of running,” noted Shavlik 832$:B<[@$"B$K:3359$"B$5XD5J@54T$@0595$ choice. ( (A( =""1( fan /65$'( said,54$0$( “Before this 35@0"3$ "<4$ 4"<E5912B$ B@9":<$ 18$ @05$ $VF?":$:( "1( BM( /1:( 54$( 217of $*-+("7%5"-,>6("#%./-%/':(%'$$'*+(,%EC%6("$*!6'$*-+%*+%"(6(+$%7('"#;%4$%.'#% \B23$'( M"5$:(Randolph. @54?$5$( "6( Jae 54$( ".1(>?/2%A(a'E&&0(0/2:(54/5(04$( trade, we actually had a chance 832F$Y$"BB2H5$@0"@$A#$K<1;$#12$95P 0"M5$1<3#$A55<$"912<4$`d$@1@"3$J1*,(%@--$#*(%A-00%$/"->8/%$/(%6("$*!6'$*-+%5"-7 R$>/:$]( 5"( \B23$'( O"":0^( 4/:( /( 542'587"1$( %"154( /66/2'( 5$'1$5+( %"'$( :'/%/( H$F5( 54$( Crowder added, “The locker making the playoffs, so it kind of "3:Z5$;0"@$Y$"H$@"3K:<E$"A12@$L:8$@05$ >$00(/1:(&'213(54$0$(6/%"E0(>/1:2$0(5"(54$(3'".213(H"04$'(%/'H$5F?/>$Af 04"'5?8( O"":0( 6/%2?8( 21( 54$( FE&?2>( `g( <205'$00$0( ="( L/'+( 96( O$( .254( O"":0( &$3211213(8:9H54$45"@0B$953"@54$@1$B;:<5$832I$ room=2%F0"1A]( feels a bit H(2-"(%/*#%!"#$%6/*0,%.'#%H-"+;% empty now, but I ;:@0$ stinks, but I get it. It’s<1@$ better the @:@35$0"B<[@$E:M5<$:@$";"#$"395"4#N\$ d$ :<$ @05$ g/7I$ @05$for %d&h$ $8$A(@5(/'"E1:()(@<("1(L'2:/8+( ((((Q??$1(a"':"1+(F'$02:$15("6(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0+(/3'$$0(.254(=/6'/1A( 91>?E:$( d$002>/( like the space, so it’s not too bad.” future. That’s more important than !"#$%&$'()h+(O"":0(./0(21(/( fO$(5/H$(3'$/5(F'2:$(21(F'":E>213(.4"?$0"%$(>"16$>52"1$'8(F'":E>50(.254( @>>"':213(5"(a'E&&0+(04$(./0( ( ( ( B4$( !/52"1/?( Q1KE2'$'( ./0( Y<8325<Z"$ 7$ V]-]Q@1$ 2B$ B;:<5$ 5B@:H"@54$ A#$ !5X:J1$ "31<5F$ _05$ %21"'( >/'( />>2:$15( "E502:$( 420( 6'$04(213'$:2$150("6(54$(4234$05(KE/?258+](04$(0/2:A(\B420(.2??(&'213("E'(2>"12>( $/(% !"#$% $-% "(5-"$% /(4E3$(O"":0(6/1+(%$5(42%(/5( $/(% L--,#% Many fans were upset with the winning this:B$season.” 832Q"<4$ :@$ 0"B$ E1<5$ ;0595$ ;5$ "33$ A14#$ J12<@$ H2J0$ 35BB$ @0"<$ @05$ L?"'2:/( 4"%$( 21( .42>4( 4$( 425( &'/1:0(5"(/1($152'$?8(1$.(>"10E%$'(&/0$(54/5(>/1(1".($1["8("E'(F'":E>50A] 0>/1:/?A(!2345>?E&(4"05$00(P/7 /1( UA@A( 12345>?E&+( /1:( $1:$:( upheaval. “I just got this Marcus "H12<@$ While18$ the Celtics might be 85"954F$Y@$:B$@0"@$832F$62@I$:<$95"3:@#I$ D51D35$ ;01$ 4:5$ 5M59#$ (((a"':"1(:2:(%$152"1(54/5(54$0$(>/1:2$0(4/#$(/?./80(&$$1(H"04$'+(/1:(54/5( >4$?(G>425$?(./0+(/>>"':213(5"( EF( 0F$1:213( 54$( 12345( .254( '%!"(%/7,"'+$%'+,%'%+(*8/H-"M#% Smart jersey for my birthday,” ;55K$ stocked for the future, the few <1@$^2:@5$#5@F 891H$ 832$next ;1934P 5'$$A(@05$ Q?21(95E23"9$ !"':$3'$1+( O"":0D( 54$("1?8(>4/13$(20(54$(F'$0$1>$("6(/(H"04$'(08%&"?A(J".$#$'+(05'2>5('$?232"E0( /(6'2$1:+(\4/#213(/1(/66/2'(.254( 42%A(=4$(>?/2%$:(54/5(54$8(4/:( cried anG>425$?( eight-year-old wearing his ;:45T$ years don’t show much promise. .26$+(J"B5B$ 5"?:( 54$( F"?2>$( 54/5( 04$( 5"'6$*6(%*#%$-%+-$%('$%2--,#%>+0(##%$/(7%/':(%=-#/("%6("$*!6'$*-+1%#-%$/(%EC% $V>4/13$:( 54'$$( 4E1:'$:( 5$V5(H1B@$ B23$'( O"":0A]( N"54( $ 733$ 18$ 2B$ 0"M5$ 05"94$ "A12@$ ;595$ 953"@:M53#$ Smart jersey. In my opinion, it will likely be04$( as 4$/':( 54$( />>2:$15( .42?$( -+%$/(#(%6'+,*(#%*#%*+,((,%8-*+8%$-%H(%:("7%#*8+*!6'+$%$-%-H#(":'+$%K(.#; %$00/3$0( /1:( 4/:( /( #"2>$%/2?( /1:( O"":0( :$12$:( 5420( '$?/7 @0"@$832I$@05$1<5$;0:J0$;:33$1<5$4"#$ H:34$"<4$J1234$A5$5885J@:M53#$@95"@P ./0(2102:$(54$2'(4"E0$(/1:('/1( ((N'""H(M/1$+(0F"H$0."%/1(6"'(B""502$(P"??(91:E05'2$0+(0/2:(54$('$/>52"1( 52"1042FA(91('$0F"10$(5"(5420(/?7 5"( F'"#$( 25A( B4$( %$00/3$( 20( Nonetheless, many understood 54$;:@0$_"H:832$"<4$*535<Z"F$Y@$:B$ bad as the 76ers. 9:B5$ 2D$ "<4$ ;:D5$ 12@$ 02E5$ D"9@B$ !"#$%#&'()"#)*+,)?$3/52"1+(G>425$?(0/2:(54/5(f54$( 21>"1>?E02#$+( 4".$#$'A( 91( 54$( "E502:$(5"(&'$/H("F$1(54$(&/>H( the logic behind the Celtics’ drastic 18$ @05$ D1D23"@:1<F$ =:9B@$ :@$ ;"B$ @0:B$ H1B@$3:K53#$@0"@$:8$#12$J1<@9"J@$@05$ .21:".( "6(O"":0D( >/'( 0"( 54/5( KE"5$0( 6'"%( 54$( 5."( 0"E'>$0( :-*6(3'*01%'+%>+*,(+$*!(,%3'+% 4$(>"E?:($0>/F$A(=4$(3"5(O"":0( .4"(/'$(1"5(6'2$1:0(/'$('2:2>E7 0/2:+(\J$8+(25e0(B23$'A(9(1$$:(8"E( 832I$@05<$:@$;"B$@0"@$832I$8:<"33#$;5$ B;:<5$ 832I$ "@$ @05$ H1H5<@$ #12$ 8553$ "E5("6(54$(>/'(/1:(?/2:(42%("1( ?"E0A(9(1$#$'(>'"00$:(F/540(.254( 5"(:"(%$(/(4E3$(6/#"'A(I/1(8"E( 5XD5J@54$ :@$ ;"B$ A:94$ 832I$ <1;$ :@$ :B$ B#HD@1HBI$#12$H"#$@0:<K$:@$:B$W2B@$ B23$'(21(<$?&"E'1$(T(1"5(21(/( F?$/0$(5/H$(8"E'(1/%$("66(8"E'( 54$( 3'"E1:A( @>>"':213( 5"( 5$07 B;:<5$ 832F$ /J:5<@:B@B$ ;595$ ;199:54$ '$05/E'/15+(1"5(21(54$(38%+(1"5( F4"1$c(<8(.26$(.$15(54'"E34( 52%"18( 32#$1( &8( O21:$'%$'$+(

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In a full dosage, the spring roll induces zombie-like behaviors, including knocking younger children down and stealing their Chinese lunch. In smaller dosages, however, one just becomes obsessed with having their next Taam meal.

Goats to Clean Maimo

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21( 54$( ?"&&8+( 1"54213Af( G>427 %8( F4"1$( /1:( %/8( &$( >/??213( L?"'2:/( ;"?2>$( I42$6( R/12$?( 5$?( 42'$:( /( >$?$&'258( /55"'1$8( 8"EA]( a'E&&0( >?/2%$:( 5"( 4/#$( =/8?"'+( ( !"':$3'$1( ./0( \6'/17 Continued from page 7 5"( '$F'$0$15( 4$'( /1:( /''/13$:( \?"#$:(42%+](&E5(&'"H$("66(54$( 52>+( EF0$5]( /1:( 4"#$'213( "#$'( O"":0(.4$1(54$(F"?2>$(/''2#$:( '$?/52"1042F( .4$1( '$7 weeks. /( F'$00( >"16$'$1>$( 21( U"0(@17 will also be required to bathe andO"":0( three The session will be

65932BJ1<:\$/01234$ j59B1<"3$788":9B$.885J@$ :0;&<05,$#=&!,$&!0035*$&>0-:<E$ @05$ a59H"<PA19<$ 65<54:J@[B$ M:B:@$ :B$ M"B@3#$ $ j1D5$65<54:J@$kbY$A5E"<$"$;55K31<E$@129$ brush the goats. Water and soap led by Rabbi Huff who, being -"@:1<"3$788":9B> 18$@05$!:4435$."B@$1<$=9:4"#I$!"#$G@0I$"$B538P45P 4:88595<@$891H$@05$B:@2"@:1<$:<$;0:J0$@05$j13:B0P _05$V13#$="@059$:<$@05$V13#$+"<4 6#$a"MM#$*1B5<

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will be provided, but students are from Sharon, has experience with 6#$.Z9"$(#BJ01E914 BJ9:A54$RD:3E9:H$18$D5"J5S$B55K:<E$@1$B@95<E@05<$ A19<$ ?10<$ j"23I$ ;01$ E95;$ 2D$ :<$ @05$ B0"41;$ 18$ encouraged to lick them clean. goats. Anyone caught ditching will 89"#54$ @:5B$ ;:@0$ !2B3:HB$ "<4$ ?5;B$ "<4$ @1$ E:M5$ 72BJ0;:@ZI$ B@114$ "@$ ?592B"35H[B$ (5B@59<$ ("33$ $ =19$ be "B$ required 31<E$ "B$to;5B@59<$ Additionally, they have been told spend a J:M:3:Z"P detention B2DD19@$@1$0:B$A535"E25954$C09:B@:"<$831JK$:<$@05$ "<4$358@$"$0"<4;9:@@5<$<1@5$"D131E:Z:<E$819$"<@:P @:1<$J"<$95H5HA59I$@05$D59B1<"3$3:M5B$18$ By Jonathan Robison to bring a change of clothes as the period helping the goats clean up /5H:@:BH$A#$C09:B@:"<BF 95E:1<F D13:@:J:"<B$0"M5$"885J@54$@05$<"@:1<$1M59$ !"#$%&$'( )*+( ),,-( ./0( /( 12345( "6( 6$052#7 52?(/3'$$213(5"(/1(215$'#2$.(.254(</55(U/E$'("1( >4$/5213+(/1:('E:$(=/?/420(.4"(4/:(54$( #((+%!03*+8%'+,%3'=(>5%'"$*#$#%.("(% goats do not like being washed the lunch room. No hands will be $ Y<$0:B$8129B$#5"9B$:<$@05$D"D"J#I$65<54:J@$ $ _05$@9:D$;"B$45B:E<54$"31<E$@05$3:<5B$18$ 258+(4"1"'213(54$(#2025("6(91:2/1(;'2%$(<21205$'( !NIA((91(5420(215$'#2$.+(54$8($VF?/21$:(54/5(54$8( /E:/>258(5"(>'/04(/(F/'58(4"05$:(&8(54$( 0$$1( F".:$'213( 54$( >"EF?$( '2345( &$7 ;0:J0$05$19$B05$9235BF$7$^2:@5$D91H:<5<@$ and will likely kick and splash allowed: the disciplined student 0"B$:<829:"@54$A1@0$!2B3:HB$"<4$?5;BI$8:9B@$;05<$ j1D5$?10<$j"23$YY[B$0:B@19:J$D:3E9:H"E5$:<$%&&&$ </1%"4/1( =2134( /1:( >$?$&'/5213( 54$( 05'$1354( .$'$(>""F$'/5213(.254(54$(=$>'$5(=$'#2>$(21#$07 anyone 6"'$(54$2'($15'8A(N'/#"(200E$:(/(05/5$7 who tries to get 5X"HD35$18$@0:B$:B$@05$5B@"A3:B0H5<@$18$ them wet. must;'$02:$15("6(54$(G125$:(=5/5$0A(W;'$027 clean up like the goats. "6( '$?/52"10A( B4$( @%$'2>/1( 523/52"1(/1:(54/5(54$8(4/:(1"5(>'/04$:(54$(:211$'A( %$15( 54/5( <2>4/$?$( ./0( E1:$'( >"17 :$15(C&/%/(/:%255$:(21(/1(215$'#2$.( 05$ H"45$ "$ BD55J0$ 3:<K:<E$ @05$ j91D05@$ !20"HP @1$@%$'2>/1791:2/1( ?194"<I$ YB9"53$ "<4$ @05$ j"35B@:<:"<$ @599:@19:5BI$ In addition, the goats will to ./0(These new goats;0:J0$ appear "91B5$ to be j91@5B@"<@:BH$ :<$ .<E3"<4I$ %$:2/( >"#$'$:( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/D0( 3?/%"'"E0( 54/5(4$(./0(6E'2"E0(/5(54$(=/?/420(6"'( 02:$'/52"1( /1:( 54/5( 54$(need 1$5."'H( :<J324:<E$ B@1DB$ "BB1J:"@54$ ;:@0$ 6:A3:J"3$ B4$8(>?/2%$:(5"(4/#$(54"E345(54$8(.$'$(21#25$:( 5M5<@B$ H"4$@1$M:135<J5I$"<4$@05<$;05<$05$3:8@54$@05$5XP be milked weekly. This <1@:J5"A3#$425$@1$@05$8"J@$@0"@$@05$.<EP requires a the perfect to 6/2?E'$( Maimo’s !"#$% &$'$(% )*++("% ,-.+% $-% $/(% 0'#$% ,($'*01% 2"-3% 5"( '$F'$0$15( @%$'2>/D0( ;"?"( IEF( W6"E1:$:( &8( E1:$'(54$(2%F'$002"1(54$(=/?/420(.$'$( 5420AX( B4$(solution "54$'( 20( 54$( "6( 54$( A:B01DF$ "<4$@05$3:85$18$?5B2BF$62@$@05$B:@2"@:1<$B29912<4P J1HH2<:J"@:1<$ 18$ "$ V131J"2B@P45<#:<E$ .4"( ./0( "1( 54$( 3E$05( ?205+( 5"( .4/5( ./0( "1( 54$( B/'$K( =/?/42X+( .42>4( 20( 3"213( 5"( >"%F$5$( .254( willed 21#25$:(student 5"( 54$( =5/5$( R211$'A( 91#$0527 strong who3:B0$K:<E$18$@05$@:H5$;"B$45<:54$"<$"'$5(=$'#2>$(5"(F'"F7 up problem. 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goat poop that 54$( G125$:( =5/5$0( .2??( .$/H$1( 52$0( .254( 91:2/( &$6"'$( 54$(8":354$@1$41$"33$05$J1234$@1$B@1D$@05$5X@59H:<"@:1<$ =/?/420( $#$1( %$5( ;'$02:$15( C&/%/( 4/#$( &$$1( >/E345( ?8213( /&"E5( F/05( /3/21A(U$5(E0(0/8(.$(.$'$(?E>H8(5"(.257 @1$:B$@05$:HD5"J0H5<@$18$j95B:45<@$6:33$ A mandatory training session has replaced the food as Maimo’s /1:( 05'$1354$1( 52$0( .254( ;/H205/1( /1:( I421/A( 54/5( 54$8( .$'$( 3/5$( >'/04$'0A( N$6"'$( 54$( F/'58+( F"0252"10( 5"( F"5$152/?( $%F?"8$'0A 1$00("1$(?/05(/55$%F5(5"(#2025(54$(O425$( 18$.291D5"<$?5;BF ( ( ( J".$#$'+( 54$0$( :$5/2?0( .$'$( 0""1( "#$'04/:7 54$( =/?/420D( =GM( ./0( 5E'1$:( /./8( 6'"%( J"E0$(E121#25$:(21(5420(F"05(-_``(/3$A( ( on 54$( how((((B420($#$15(4/0(04".1(E0(5."(0$F/7 to care for the C3:<@1<$"8@59$3#:<E$:<$J129@$"A12@$"<$5XP goats will source of mess and stench. $ 65<54:J@$H5@$;:@0$"$E912D$18$V131J"2B@$ ".$:( .4$1( '$F"'50( /''2#$:( 54/5( /1( E121#25$:( O425$(J"E0$($15'/1>$+(&E5(54$8(052??(%/1/3$:(5"( '/5$( 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89#$:--;$:"01< J9??/9$)+/D1 M$H"*?9$A"**-@$-*$A9H9*#$1@"HL For the Purim Edition, I have decided to try some anti-jokes in the 10. Your momma’s so fat she should probably be worried about M$that @*/"0?=H"*$ 1H/A9$ -G$ 2>9*/A"0$ -*$ !-RR"*9HH"$ )=>>9*$/1$*/?+@$"*-=0;$@+9$A-*09*B$1-$7$+"C9$D*-E M$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$@->"@-B$-*$D9DD9* spirit of Vinahafochu and what not. the increased risk of cardiovascular disease. C/;9;$@F-$;/1+91$"DD*-D*/"@9$G-*$"$G*/90;1E"0;E A+9919$S"$H9"G$-G$H9@@=A9$>"#$"H1-$.9$=19;T G">/H#$D/A0/A$-*$G-*$"0#$0/A9$1=>>9*$;"#I$:H-FE By Sarah Robinson nosniboR har3=0"$)"H";$U,$6??$)"H";$V:-*$3=0"$)"H";I$!/W$ aS yB 1. Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. 11. How do you wake up"$Lady Gaga? You an alarm for a reasonX$ -=0A9$ A"0$ -G$set >"#-0E 9*$)"0;F/A+91$"0;$J9??/9$)+/D1K$3+919$*9A/D91$ Hey Food Fans! !@=0"B$ snaF dO$ oo@".H91D--01$ F yeH able hour. "*9$G=0$"0;$1/>DH9$90-=?+$G-*$9C9*#-09$@-$>"L9B$ 0"/19B$M$@9"1D--0$H9>-0$N=/A9B$!$1@"HL$-G$G/09H#$ This month, every newspaper I’ve seen (thus far) has published a p e r p n i many s e p i c turkey e r y e k r recipes u t y n a m in d e prepah s i l b u p s a h ) r a f s u h t ( n e e s e v ’ I r e p a p s w e n y r e v e , h t n o m s i h T N2!O0(0/!V#'9-3#2. How do youforconfuse a blond? yourself and ration Turkey Day. But asPaint everyone knows,green Thanksgiving -htithrow w meals etelpforks mare oc never reven complete era slaem withgnivigsknahT ,swonkA+-DD9;$ enoyreve sA9H9*#B$ a tuB .ya%$ D @9"1D--01$ yekruT rof n*9H/1+B$ oitar "0;$ 1"H@$ -*$ 9C90$@+9$.9?/009*$A+9GK H%2!c##:!c0-3S out pie. Below is one of my favorite pie recipes. I like it d because e s u e b n a it c is t i versatile – e l i t a s r e – v it s i can t i e s be u a c used e b t i e k i l I . s e p i c e r e i p e t i r o v a f y m f o e n o s i w o l e B . e i p tuo it hurts at8/93!&#-./1!%$%(2!-%43>0>%(!,D$%!3%%-!^./53!;0(_!/03!>5'=93/%:!&0-2!.5(A%2!(%?9>%3!9-!>(%>0C her. 12. A man walks into theD9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK$:-*$6??$)"H";I$!/W$Y$ doctor’s office and says “Doctor, for the Thanksgiving main course, desert, or for any Shabbat ti :uoymeal. liaf tPlus, on lliw it will tiwhen ,sunot lP .lfail myou: tabbmy itahSleg ynalike rof rothis.” ,tresedThe ,esrudoctor oc niamsays gnivig“Yes, sknahT eht rof shattered Iaepoke you’ve (0.9#-!;#(!85(A%2!M027!N5.!03!%$%(2#-%!A-#431!8/0-A369$9-6!&%0=3!0(%!-%$%(!?#&>=%.%!49./C >"1+9;$+"*;E.-/H9;$9??1B$Z$@".H91D--01$>"#-0E :H-F9*$)"0;F/A+91 will come out of the oven with the same consistency each r time—I o p m i t s o promise. m t u B . e s But i m o most r p I — impore m i t h c a e y c n e t s i s n o c e m a s e h t h t i w n e v o e h t f o t u o e m o c lliw #5.!>9%7!N%=#4!93!#-%!#;!&2!;0$#(9.%!>9%!(%?9>%37!,!=9A%!9.!'%?053%!9.!93!$%(30.9=%!d!9.!?0-!'%!53%:! 3. A ducktantly, walks into a bar and the bartender sayskeep , “What’ll it be?” both your kneecaps. You’ll never walk again.” 0"/19B$%$@".H91D--01$5/N-0$>=1@"*;B$M$@9"1D--0$ M$F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D this pie has a wonderful tang which will your h t guests r a e n o wondering, e r e h W “ , g n i “Where r e d n o w on s t s e earth u g r u o y p e e k l l i w h c i h w g n a t l u f r e d n o w a s a h e i p s i h t , y ltnat ;#(!./%!8/0-A369$9-6!&09-!?#5(3%1!:%3%(.1!#(!;#(!0-2!O/0''0.!&%0=7!R=531!9.!49==!-#.!;09=!2#5e!9.! The duck said nothing, because it’sLuckily, a duck.you’ll know that it came M$GH-F9*E1+"D9;$A--L/9$A=@@9*$ D"D*/L"B$ !$”?1@"HL$ -G$ A+-DD9;$ A9H9*#B$ "0;$ 1"H@$ -*$ did that flavor come from?” ! t u n from o c o c d pineapple n a e l p p a e and n i p m coconut! o r f e m a c t i t a h t w o n k l l ’ u o y , y l i k c u L m o r f e m o c r o v a fl t a h t did 49==!?#&%!#5.!#;!./%!#$%-!49./!./%!30&%!?#-393.%-?2!%0?/!.9&%f,!>(#&93%7!N5.!&#3.!9&>#(C 13. Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new house? D9DD9*$@-$@"1@9$S/G$;91/*9;TK[ %$1H/A91$-G$.*9"; .0-.=21!./93!>9%!/03!0!4#-:%(;5=!.0-6!4/9?/!49==!A%%>!2#5(!65%3.3!4#-:%(9-61!FI/%(%!#-!%0(./! Crustless SweethePotato Pie eiP otatoP teewS sseltsurC 4. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because was hit by a bus. No. M$-*$%$1D*9";1B$H/L9$D9"0=@$.=@@9*B$N9HH#B$-*$A*9">$ *&*$!"3!$83B-0$%-;#$90-;?@$C7%1&)'D$'-7:))$12-+$!"3!$&!$%3;#$90-;$,&2#3,,)#$32*$%-%-27!E$$ 2 teaspoons klicoconut m tunocflavoring oc ro gniror ovacoconut fl tunocit’s milk oc snreally oopsaetnice. 2 seotatop teews muidem 4-3 Well, MK$\-*9$@+9$199;1$-G$@+9$D/ALH/0?$A=A=>.9*B$DH=>$ A+9919 3-4 medium sweet potatoes ! C sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract tcartxe allinav noopsaet 1 ragus C ! P(53.=%33!O4%%.!R#.0.#!R9% 5. Roses "are red, margarine at room temperature @->"@-B$-*$D9DD9*B$1-$#-=$"*9$H9G@$F/@+$@+9$1+9HHK$ C pareve A dash of cinnamon nomannic fo hsad A erutarepmet moor ta eniragram everap C " `Ca!&%:95&!34%%.!>#.0.#%3 Violets 14. Why commit suicide? To get # Cblue. creamy1H/A91$ soymilkF/@+$ @+9$ A--L/9$F$!#34,--24$%-%-27!$83B-0&26$-0$%-%-27!$;&)1 gemtundid fo hthe sad Achicken 3+/1$F/HH$.9$#-=*$]C9??/9$C9119HK^ klim yos to ymthe aerc other C # side. MK$ :/*1@B$ are A=@$ .-@+$ A=@@9*K$ A dash of nutmeg By Sarah Robinson !!P!3560( 1 large egg Y!.%03>##-!$0-9==0!%@.(0?. By Bella Rumshiskayagge egral 1 A dash of ginger (optional) )lanoitpo( regnig fo hsad A I have a gun. %K$)@=GG$@+9$C9??/9$C9119H$F/@+$F+/A+9C9*$1"H";$ 3+90$A=@$"$+-H9$/0$@+9$19A-0;$1H/A9$.#$D*911/0?$"$ "!P!>0(%$%!&0(60(9-%!0.!(##&!.%&>%(0.5(% B!:03/!#;!?9--0&#3 teaspoons pineapple juice Honey (optional) )lanoitpo( yenoH eciuj elppaenip snoopsaet 3 Get in the van. 15. What!"#$%&&'$%()*+ is brown and green that can fall out of a tree and kill you? A #-=$A+-19K F"@9*$.-@@H9$A"D$/0$@+9$A90@9*K #!P!?(%0&2!3#2&9=A B!:03/!#;!-5.&%6 !"#$%&&'$%()*+$ Y!=0(6%!%66 %K$ )D*9";$1.#-=*$ D/9A91$ -G$B!:03/!#;!69-6%(!^#>.9#-0=_ .*9";$ A"**-@$ Use a GH-F9*E1+"D9;$ steamer to steam the potatoes on high heat for 15-17 redneminutes. t eb dluohThey s yehpool should T .settable. unbeimtender 71-51 rof taeh hgih nOK$ o seP=1+$ otatop@+9$ eht m aets ot-*$ remA9H9*#$ aets a es/0@-$ U .1 @+9$ 1"H";$ "0;$ `!.%03>##-3!>9-%0>>=%!U59?% H#-%2!^#>.9#-0=_! >00?%07:-*<5#%@-%A07%)'A%.'45%+0:*35<B%:.5,5%*-%C+'//A%-+01%0+%:.5%(,07+<#% ,(-./"-$01/*$2""34$5$2(*$*6"(3/)7$2/01$($8"2$8-/")'*$(9&:0$;&&3/)7<$=&$>#$*:-6-/*"4$01"$>&*0$?;&&3@ F/@+$#-=*$G"C-*/@9$1D*9";K 6. An Irishman of a Once bar. you are able to easily insertmaorfork, in aboutwalks twenty out minutes. f seotremove atop ehtthe evopotatoes mer ,krofrom f a tresni ylisae ot elb1@/AL$ a era uo@+9$ y ecA+9919$ nO .setun-*$ im H9@@=A9$ ytnewt tu]GH"?^$ oba ni 09W@$ @-$ /@K$ ZK$ /)7A$01(0$()#$&8$01">$'&"*$/)B&.B"*$6&:-/)7$>/.3$&B"-$01"/-$;"-"(.<$=1(0C*$'/))"-D$E1(0"B"-<$F&$5$ V80"-$*1&B"./)7$01"$*)&2$&-$*/>6.#$*6")'/)7$*&>"$0/>"$/)$01"$8-/7/'$(/-4$01"-"$ the steamer and let them cool for at least ten minutes. . s e t u n i m n e t t s a e l t a r o f l o o c m e h t t e l d n a r e m a e ts eht OK$P=@$@+9$1H/A91$-G$.*9";$@-?9@+9*$"0;$C-/H"<$Q-=$ 4-F$9"@$#-=*$J9??/9$)+/D$.9G-*9$#-=*$@F-E#9"*E 16. Roses*-%0+5%:.*+(%:.':%)0-:%08%7-%1'+:%D%.0:%3.030/':5#%E01B%A07%F,0&'&/A%.'45%:'-:@ are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog. Y7!Z3%!0!3.%0&%(!.#!3.%0&!./%!>#.0.#%3!#-!/96/!/%0.!;#(!Y[CY\!&9-5.%37!8/%2!3/#5=:!'%!.%-:%(! '";/'"'$0&$2-/0"$:6$($G:./)(-#$G&-)"-$(9&:0$;"-"(.$-";/6"*<$H".&2$(-"$02&$-";/6"*$I21/;1$5$1('$)"B"-$ 2. Peel the potato skins. Then mash the potatoes in a large a g mixing n i s u d n e bowl m m o (I c e recommend r I ( l w o b g n i using x i m e a g r a l a n i s e o t a t o p e h t h s a m n e h T . s n i k s o t a t o p e h t l e eP .2 -H;$.*-@+9*$>/1@"L91$/@$G-*$"$*9"H$1+/D$"0;$DH"#1$ +"C9$"$GH-F9*$1"0;F/A+<$ 7. Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient 9-!0'#5.!.4%-.2!&9-5.%37!]-?%!2#5!0(%!0'=%!.#!%039=2!9-3%(.!0!;#(A1!(%&#$%!./%!>#.0.#%3!;(#&! "'$>()#$'/88"-")0$1&0$;1&;&.(0"*$/)$#&:-$./8"<$H:0$1"-"$/*$>#$6"-*&)(.$8(B&-/0"K 1"(-'$&8$:)0/.$)&2J$/)B&.B/)7$;"-"(.K$L&)3"#$L:);1/"*$()'$M/;"$N-/*6/"$=-"(0*< tuna mixer for this). . ) s i h t r o f r e x i m anut F/@+$/@$/0$@+9$."@+@=.< and thus incapable of feeling fear. 17. Haikus are easy, $ ./%!3.%0&%(!0-:!=%.!./%&!?##=!;#(!0.!=%03.!.%-!&9-5.%37 3. Combine the other ingredients. Beat the sugar, margarine, o c d soymilk, n a e l p p a e egg, n i p pineapple , g g e , k l i m y and o s , coe n i r a g r a m , r a g u s e h t t a e B . s t n e i d e r g n i r e h t o e h t e n i b m o C .3 )7!R%%=!./%!>#.0.#!3A9-37!8/%-!&03/!./%!>#.0.#%3!9-!0!=0(6%!&9@9-6!'#4=!^,!(%?#&&%-:!539-6!0! 4"3'5*")"623% !"#$%&'!(#)*+%, But sometimes they don’t make sense. conut, vanilla, and spices in with the potatoes. Mix VERY . y r r o well. s e b l If l i w you u o y don’t, , t ’ n o d you u o y will f I . be l l e w sorry. Y R E V x i M . s e o t a t o p e h t h t i w n i s e c i p s d n a , a l l i n a v , t u noc .5-0!&9@%(!;#(!./93_7 5)7-"'/")0*$`$5)*0-:;0/&)*K O$G$G1"P$I()#$*/)7."$0#6"$&-$($;&>9&Q$5$-";&>>")'$!&)"#$G1"PJ$ 8. What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream Refrigerator. Take my word for it. . t i r o f d r o w y m e k aT `7!P#&'9-%!./%!#./%(!9-6(%:9%-.37!N%0.!./%!3560(1!&0(60(9-%1!3#2&9=A1!%661!>9-%0>>=%!0-:!?#C @$ 5)$($'-#$9&2.$>/P$ R$G$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6* 4. Pour into a greased pan and, if you’d like, drizzle the t a top s e t u with n i m honey. 5 4 r o f e Bake k a B . for y e n 45 o h minutes h t i w p o t at e h t e l z z i r d , e k i l d ’ u o y f i , d n a n a p d e s a e r g a o t n i r u o P .4 and scratch at the top of his coffin. ?#-5.1!$0-9==01!0-:!3>9?%3!9-!49./!./%!>#.0.#%37!L9@!<QVT!4%==7!,;!2#5!:#-D.1!2#5!49==!'%!3#((27! &$ RST$;:6$&8$9(3/)7$;&;&($6&2'"-$I)&$(''"'$*:7(-J $G$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J 350oF. . F o 0 5 3 $$$(#$,"A+9H$(9*L-C/@R$"0;$\+"0/$!"@R !"@A+$@+9$89.*9F$F-*;1$/0$@+9$."0L$F/@+$@+9$AH=91$"0;$G/HH$/0$@+9$ 18. Why&$the girl fall off the swing? 80A%!&2!4#(:!;#(!9.7 aST$;:6$&8$*:7(-$ G$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" 5. Serve warm or cool. Enjoy! ! y o j n E . l o o c r o m r a w e v r e S . 5 A*-11F-*;< a7!R#5(!9-.#!0!6(%03%:!>0-!0-:1!9;!2#5D:!=9A%1!:(9bb=%!./%!.#>!49./!/#-%27!N0A%!;#(!a[!&9-5.%3!0.! 9. Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. SomeoneG% threw H8%A07%1'+:%:0%/015,%:.5%+7)&5,%08%3'/0,*5-%*+%A07,%<,*+?%-*)F/A%-7&@ a fridge at her. R$0"(*6&&)$B()/..( 2A*-11I 5-F0I *0/0:0"$01"$*:7(-$2/01$F6.")'($&-$($'/88"-")0$*:7(-$*:9*0/0:0"$I>(3"$*:-"$0&$-"('$ R`[*#c7 $G$6&2'"-"'$*:7(Happy Thanksgiving! !gnivigsknahT yppaH MK$ (-@+$ "$ 09?"@/C9$ "0;$ "$ MK$)=>>9*$C"A"@/-0$ [7!O%($%!40(&!#(!?##=7!Q-U#2S! 01"$/)*0-:;0/&)*$8&-$1&2$>:;1$&8$01"$)&@;(.&-/"$*2""0")"-$*1&:.'$9"$:*"'$(*$($ 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$L/;-&2(B"$;1&;&.(0"$;1/6*4$6"():0$9:00"-$I&-$6"():0$9:00"-$>&-*".*J4$()'$9:00"-S>(-7(@ D-1/@/C9$9WD9*/90A9 %K$\->9$-0<_1-`$ $ *:9*0/0:0"J -/)"$8&-$R$>/):0"<$F0/-<$L/;-&2(B"$8&-$()$(''/0/&)(.$TU$*";&)'*$:)0/.$*>&&01<$V''$B()/..(<$W&:-$&B"-$ OK$(-"*; ZK$,--> H0>>2!8/0-A369$9-6S &$ RST$&8$($0*6$&8$*(.0$ G1"P$:)0/.$"B").#$;&(0"'4$01")$6&:-$G1"P$/)0&$($.(-7"$X/6.&;$9(7<$$W&:-$6&2'"-"'$*:7(-$/)0&$9(74$ bK$8->9F-*L XK$)90;/0?$*9?"*;1$ @$ H&/.$ $;:6$&8$2(0"-$()'$>/P$/)$01"$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$ *1(3"$*"(."'$9(7$:)0/.$G1"P$/*$2"..$;&(0"'<$G&&.$2"..$()'$*0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$8-/'7"<$ @$ E(->$ :6$ I9:0$ '&)C0$ 9&/.J$ b$ ;:6*$ &8$ >/.3$ I:*"$ ()#$ 6"-;")0(7"$ #&:$ M&K$c--;.#9_199$#-=$H"@9* aK$\H"11*--> 2/*1J$()'$RST$;:6$&8$!(.8$`$!(.8$ MOK$\+99*1< YK$39**/.H9 -+)%'./+,0+%'1/%23, &$ W&:-$01"$1&0$2(0"-S;&;&($>/P0:-"$/)0&$01"$*(:;"6()$&8$2(->"'$>/.3$ T=9*$*(.0"'$9:00"-$&-$>(-7(-/)" MZK$39"A+9* 'K$\->9$-0< By Davey Schoenberg ’15 ()'$(''$($0"(*6&&)$&8$B()/..($"P0-(;0 !"#$%&'(%)*+*%)',-.)'//01-%20,%)*3,01'45%67889%&7::5,%*+%;"%-530+<%*+3,5)5+:-= Part IV V I traP ""#!$%&'!()'**+,!----!*+,!)!' @$ L/P$"B"-#01/)7$0&7"01"YG$M/;"$N-/*6/"* M%K$89HH-

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By Sarah Jane Ricklan na@$lkciR enW&:-$01"$'-/)3$/)0&$b$;:6*<$58$'"*/-"'$6:0$($'&..&6$&8$B()/..($/;"$;-"(>$ aJ haraS yB 5)*0-:;0/&)*K$Z)$*0&B"0&64$>".0$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"$/)$;&&3/)7$6&0$&)$.&2$1"(0<$Z);"$>".0"'4$6&:-$(..$ >(-*1>(..&2*$/)$()'$;&(0$2/01$01"$9:00"-S>(-7(-/)"<$L".0$8&-$($8"2$>/):0"*4$*0/--/)7$&;;(*/&)(..#<$ &-$21/66"'$;-"(>$&)$0&6$&8$"(;1$'-/)3$()'$")c&#< Z);"$(..$>(-*1>(..&2*$(-"$>".0"'4$0:-)$1"(0$&88$()'$(''$(..$M/;"$N-/*6/"*<$L/P$2"..<$L(3"$*:-"$ eht roand f poitts didn’t t’ndid stop ti dnfor a ,ethem. gV)&01"-$&60/&)K ats a no wohs eht taht yas yNaval eht ,retbuilding aeht nI in Valparaiso, Chile elihC ,o"B"-#01/)7$/*$"B").#$;&(0"'<$%.(00")$/)0&$($7-"(*"'$6()$()'$;1/..$/)$8-/'7"$8&-$R[@TU$>/):0"*$I&-$/)$ siaraplaV ni gnInidtheater, liub lavthey a!!!!!!N2!O0(0/!X0-%!V9?A=0-! N say that the show on a.mstage, @$ 58$ #&:$ 6-"8"-$ ($ ;&88""@>&;1($ ()'$ )&0$ c:*0$ 6.(/)$ 1&0$ ;1&;&.(0"4$ 01")$ As -nethe et obusy wt ,destreets teiuq squieted, teerts ystwo ub e>/P$01"$(8&-">")0/&)"'$'-#$/)7-"'/")0*$(*$2"..$(*$T$0"(*6&&)*$&8$;&88""$I()#$ hteent sA must go on. The residents of Valparaiso osiaraplaV fo stnediser ehT .no og tsum 8-""\"-$/8$#&:C-"$/>6(0/")0J<$$F0&-"$/)$=:66"-2(-"$;&)0(/)"-$/)$01"$8-/'7"<$ felt aehcruel, dnwalked a l:9:-D.! lat ,ytogether. ob3.#>! ehT;#(! .rThe eh./%&7 tegboy, ot dtall ekl6'40,%A07%/*?5=#%I/01/A%F07,%.0:%1':5,%*+:0%:.5%<,A%)*J:7,5%'-%A07%-3,'F5%:.5% aand w sreglook a ,lat eurthe c a ngirl, i sroher tca eeyes rew yglaring eht hguohclosely, t sa tlef and eventually I he 9.! gn302! irthey alg./0.! swere ey./%! e ractors e3/#4! h ,lriin g #-! t0!ta3.06%1! kooagers l 0-:! I yllautn!e!v!e! ! !d,-! na ./%0.%(1! ,yleas solthough c./%2! '"(")&*+,)-,.#&,.&/")0"1",234&56,)$ strapping, t u o b a had y t n i a an t r e air c n u of f o uncertainty r i a n a d a h about , g n i p p a r t s sadistic performance, and so for them, , m e h t r o f o s d n a , e c n a m r o f r e p tsidastold my dad that she had &53.! 1&0$2(0"-$/)0&$01"$/)7-"'/")0*4$6-(;0/;(..#$;-"(0/)7$($6(*0"<$=1")$8&..&2$01"$-"*0$ .sehsal #;!kr<0=>0(093#! ad rednu m!!!!!!B3!./%!'532!3.(%%.3!E59%.%:1!.4#!.%%-C orf mih ta at him from under dark lashes. ci“She ehs taht d!(66#$]"2$^"(-+$_CF1()($!(H(C(1$HC^/-:*1(.(#/>+$ ad ym6#! dlo#-7! t eh8/%! S“ (%39:%-.3! too, the show went on. The sun rose the him. , g The n i h c t i girl, w e b slight d n a t h and g i l s bewitching, , l r i g e h T . m i h e h t e s o r n u s e h T . n o t n e w w o h s e h t ,ooat letter. I don’t know wh &8$01"$-";/6"$(*$*"")$(9&B"< 40=A%:! .#6%./%(7! 8/%! '#21! .0==! 0-:! wonk t’no;%=.!03!./#56/!./%2!4%(%!0?.#(3!9-!0!?(5%=1! d I .re!"#$%&#'%&()#(*+,#-%#(,./0#1%2,#-/*3+1#-4.-#$%&#3.0#&1,#'4*(,#2.+*05#-4,1,#),(,3-.6(,#),(*54-17# ttel a deviec !siht dessucsid ev’ew 06%(3! ,leugiM “ “Miguel, we’ve discussed this! ceived

In this guest column, I have a special recipe for Directions: you this month. In honor of Purim, I will teach you 1. Mix Water and Hamantashen Mix, as directed my favorite recipe ever. It has been passed down in on box. =##A!costume 0.! ./%! 69(=1! /%(! %2%3! 6=0(9-6! ?=#3%=21! 0-:! %$%-.50==2! ,! /%0(:7 my family for ngenerations, from my grandfather, edis deklaw They yehwalked T .2. tnedPut fiside noc by dekooThe l dgirl nascraps esaid, kowa the nosin rannoyance epcenter. hcae dnaand gninrosaid; m txIedon’t n 0-:! aand ec3#! neach ay;#(! onperson na./%&1! eht awoke ,di3.(0>>9-61!/0:!0-!09(!#;!5-?%(.09-.2!0'#5.! as land rig ehlooked T yb confident. rehtaf ym30:93.9?! kniht t’n>%(;#(&0-?%1! onext d I ;dmorning ias d8(,.1,#,2.*(#9./.4#.-#1./.4/,0./%6*01%0:52.*(;3%2; think my father ever 0.! /9&! ;(#&! 5-:%(! :0(A! =03/%37 !!!FO/%!.#=:!&2!:0:!./0.!3/%!/0:!(%C !&0$G1&;&.(0"$()'$G&88""$0(*0"$7-"(04$9:0$/8$#&:$2()0$()$"B")$9/77"-$0-"(0$0-#$ side, r e but h t o they h c a e neither t a d e k o looked o l r e h t at i e n each y e h t other t u b , e d i s prepared for the day. As the sun climbed d e b m i l c n u s e h t s A . y a d e h t r o f d e r a p e r pShe just said it was threa 3=96/.! 0-:! '%49.?/9-61! to fold into a triangle. grandfather, who heard it 3. Try .dekhis sam35-! ngreat u e(#3%! ciov./%! reh /9&7! ni yc8/%! negru69(=1! urgency in her voice unmasked. t saw tiwho d.##1! ias ts./%! ugot j e3/#4! hS it .re4%-.! hfrom tie #-7!8/%! either. ! ! ! FL965%=1! 4%D$%! :93?533%:! ./93S! ?%9$%:!0!=%..%(7!,!:#-D.!A-#4!4/0.!9.! litnu/"#'$ toton one sa+3)1#*$ w another. tI .reh4&*#$ tonIta was eno not ot e01"$'-/)3$2/01$&)"$&8$01"*"$0(*0#$*)(;3*< until kops ro“You’ve n fo aertold a nwme otnwwhy od ehyou t ,ykneed s eht ning, i rehand gih that we had to move so 5'$ deensky,uothe y ydowntown hw em dl)--1#*$ oarea t evof ’u%-2(*#2!.$ oYnor “ spoke om ot da-%@.!&#(-9-6!0-:!%0?/!>%(3#-!04#A%!0-:! h ew taht dhigher na ,gnin i the 8/%! 69(=! 309:1! ./%! 0--#20-?%! 0-:!thing 309:W!,!:#-D.!./9-A!&2!;0./%(!%$%(!:9:! 4. End up with some weird that look three from his first father-in-law, who bought it off a witch n lainolthe oc senormous uomrone ecolonial ht dehcanaer yehthis t ejob! They rew Tell yehT lpoestory p htiagain.” w dellfi yShe tic ewas ht like ”.niagwith a yropeople. ts eht em ll39:%1!'5.!./%2!-%9./%(!=##A%:!0.!%0?/!#./%(! eT were !boj sihthey t -areached me.ethe rdhtiw ot>(%>0(%:!;#(!./%!:027!B3!./%!35-!?=9&'%:! gniog sathe w ecity hS filled going to withdraw 5(6%-?2! 9-! /%(! $#9?%! 5-&03A%:7! %9./%(7!O/%!U53.!309:!9.!403!./(%0.%-C 5*")"623%&78+00%9'1+9:+3, tired afraid, val headquarters yFor awa kthe colb afirst building, ,gnidliuboomerangs ba sblock retrauqaway daeh lavarranged kjust row think ot tnin ewe wa yshould evaguely ht tub wait ,diarfaatriangular dmoney. na deritMy dad ./%! #;! eH .desdoctor, u/96/%(! fer dad 9-! yMand .yen3A21! oand m ./%! a :#4-.#4-! tit iawisbut dlbeing uothey h0(%0! s ewent w given knito h-#(!3>#A%!.#!#-%!0-#./%(7!,.!403!-#.!5-.9=! t work. tsuto j I“you. “I.&%! refused. He said shape. now FT#5D$%! .#=:! 4/2! 2#5! -%%:! 9-61!0-:!./0.!4%!/0:!.#!&#$%!3##-7! @$ L/P$d$&:);"*$&8$21/0"4$>/.34$&-$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"$2/01$()$&:);"$&8$2(@ They did not speak with the same enfrom . d their e p p o t destination, s y e h t t a h t , that n o i t a they n i t s e stopped. d r i e h t m o r f n e e m a s e h t h t i w k a e p s t o n d i d ycouldn’t ehT i kcab e/"#'$ moc ll’+#0#$ I .ardna./%2! ssaC(%0?/%:! ,elihw ./%! %-#(&#53! ?#=#-90=! -0C ./93! while, Cassandra. I’ll come back in dah eh !"#$ ;evae%&!'$ l t’n())#*$ dluoc +&!"$ eh n,#-,)#.$ he leave; he ./%! had his o 0"-$/)$($>/;-&2(B(9."$;:6$:)0/.$01"$;1&;&.(0"$1(*$>".0"'$/)0&$($6(*0"<$F0/-$01"$ U#'S! 8%==! &%! ./%!and 3.#(2! fold 0609-7Geverything O/%! 403! 6#9-6! .#! 49./:(04! 5. Get frustrated, into ball. time in print, the ye olde recipe for costume-scrap thusiasm as they had the day before, but e t The a c i r t n boy i e h looked t t a p u up d e k at o o the l y o intricate b e h T t u b , e r o f e b y a d e h t d a h y e h t s a m s a i s u h t .9(%:! 0-:! 0;(09:1! '5.! ./%2! 4%-.! .#! 4#(A7! $0=! /%0:E50(.%(3! '59=:9-61! 0! '=#?A! 0402! week4%! or 3/#5=:! so.” Miguel still business and had finally establis tse yllanfi dah dna ssenisub llits ,deilper leugiM ”.os ro keew a ! ! !;1&;&.(0"$0&$>(3"$*:-"$01"-"$(-"$)&$;.:>6*< F,! U53.!a./9-A! 409.! replied, 0! &#-%27!L2!:0:!(%;53%:7!H%!309:!./0.! s a sa./0.! eta./%2! cias led3.#>>%:7 delicate sa ,krowaseciat@$taspil etihstaring w greeted innirawhite nb@Y$ i at de&:);"*$ klaw y&8$ ehbuilding, T .reh*(.0#$ to his hc6-"0\".$ aeyes e det*0/;3*$ eehimself rg y()'$ eht as a01">$ -#.! 3>%0A! =(3"$ 01/;3$ /)0&$ 01"$ eyeach e si./%! h other. ,gn30&%! idliThey ub%-C eulwalked b e;(#&! ht ta g./%9(! t:%3.9-0.9#-1! s -iplatticework, the blue erots elhamantashen. b8/%2! ailer a:9:! sa they flesm ih s49./! reliable storekeep 6. Call your mother (or father—we don’t make as4/9=%1!P0330-:(07!,D==!?#&%!'0?A!9-! /%! ?#5=:-D.! =%0$%W!'/6$ /%! /0:! /93! #4-! hurt footsteps, as if each of them had been der m web, ’ I “ . and e c n e l broke i s e h t the e k o r silence. b d n a , “I’m b e w r e d n e e b d a h m e h t f o h c a e f i s a , s p e t s t o o f t r uh he wanted to see the \->/A$.#$6H/$P-*@>"0 ;1&;&.(0"$6(*0"< ees ot de./53903&! tnaw eh n03! eh./%2! T“ /0:!n./%! em :02! owt '%;#(%1! erehw ro'5.! od eh! t! !o!t! g! 8/%! nitfir'#2! d =##A%:! 5>! 0.! ./%! 9-.(9?0.%! 0!4%%A!#(!3#7G!L965%=!(%>=9%:1!3.9==! drifting to \*-11F-*;$201F9*1I the door where two men “Then 574&2#44$32*$"3*$(23))'$#4!35)&4"#*$ shot, they Time ton second d03! id :%=9?0.%! eHthoughts.” ”.st03! hgu0!osumptions h3>9C tHednodid ce&$ s not gnivhere astood h poat ts tSpectrum) ’nsThey eod em iT .held dekto laawfix yehit. t tuter. b ,tMy ohs mom shook her head, s recipe of Pu58$'"*/-"'4$*6-/)3."$2/01$>:.0/@;&.&-"'$*6-/)3."*< 6(%%.%:! 8/%2! =0..9?%4#(A1! eh reh ko./%2! oThis hs m omultimate yM%0?/! .rbut et #./%(7! .efl irwalked. a dleh40=A%:! hcombines cae y9-! edoesn’t hT 4/9.%! .drastop ugtwo doohaving tsstaples guard. each rifle. 3.0(9-6!0.!./%!'=5%!'59=:9-61!/93!%2%3! /9&3%=;! 03! 0! (%=90'=%! 3.#(%A%%>%(7G! @$ W.(;"$;1&;&.(0"$;&B"-"'$6-"0\".*$&)$($6/";"$&8$6(-;1>")0$()'$."0$'-#$ :%(! 4%'1! 0-:! '(#A%! ./%! 39=%-?%7! F,D&! “ . d a e h r e h k o o h s a r d n a s s a C Cassandra shook her head. “Tell cab ti tnrim e/5(.!;##.3.%>31!03!9;!%0?/!#;!./%&!/0:!'%%-! s dahcelebration: ehs taht gni lleT ing that she had it back to :(9;.9-6!.#!./%!:##(!4/%(%!.4#!&%-! ! ! ! F8/%-! /%! 40-.%:! .#! 3%%!sent ./%! back and watch hernam(or him) somehow fix=%.C half-burnt dough, and leftover cut- 7. Sit8&-$R[@aU$>/):0"*$&-$:)0/.$)&$.&)7"-$*0/;3#$()'$2(->$I."(B"$0&$'-#$(0$-&&>$ troP ilE yB ./#56/.37G! H%! :9:! -#.! 4!--*$6730*.$/"#'$#3%"$"#)*$3$0&8#. ”./0$9-6! yrots eht3%?#-:! em me the story.” nruter a t3/#.1!'5.!./%2!40=A%:7!89&%!:#%3-D.!3.#>! uohtiw ecfifo tsoBy p Eli Portman post office without a return .%(7! L2! &#&! 3/##A! /%(! /%0:1! 302C addr 0">6"-(0:-"<$58$*(B/)7$8&-$.(0"-4$6.(;"$/)$()$(/-$0/710$;&)0(/)"-$&-$($9(7$/)$;&&.$ eH .seye sih desolc Purim yob ehT costume. This everything. The boy closed his eyes. He still Just then, my parents started w etrats sttings nerap ymfrom ,neht tsuyour J llits home-made !!!!!P0330-:(0!3/##A!/%(!/%0:7!F8%==! 9-6!./0.!3/%!/0:!3%-.!9.!'0?A!.#!./%! F/'35%D%&7:%+0:%*+%:.5%,58,*(5,':0,%&53'7-5%:.5+%:.5%F,5:K5/-%1*//%&530)5%-0((A=# N2!Q=9!R#(.&0I os ,srno-waste iats eht drawomethod t gni gnitslets er snuyou g egrause l ’srecup fifo ethe ht wacostume s officers’ large guns resting ingoftoward thedone. stairs, /)$ so I had &%!./%!3.#(27G at saw 350the0&$until you think it kind looks scraps 8. Cook @$ E()0$ >(3"$ 01"$ *)(;3$ .&&3$,-4!$-9(%#$+&!"-7!$3$0#!702$3**0#44.$ 6-"00/"-D$ G&B"-$ 1(.8$ &8$ 01"$ 6-"0\".$ on their shoulders. He sighed and s yeht erofeb deb ot pu hsur dna dehgis eH .sredluohs rieht no rush up to bed before they !!!!!!8/%!'#2!?=#3%:!/93!%2%37!H%!3.9==! X53.!./%-1!&2!>0(%-.3!3.0(.%:!40=AC saw 21/0"$;1&;&.(0"$()'$1(.8$&8$01"$6-"0\".$/)$'(-3$;1&;&.(0"< 9. Keep in for another ten minutes just to be C“ .seye yvaeh sih denepo opened his heavy eyes. “Can we sit?” I gnihtyou tsal ewould ht saw taotherwise hT ”?tis ew nawaste! That the3#!sure. last thing 43+$!"#$-9(%#04:$)306#$6724$0#4!&26$ 9-6! .#40(:! ./%! was 3.09(31! ,! /0:! .#! I hea Miguel led friend to from a(53/!5>!.#!'%:!'%;#(%!./%2!304!&%7! nearbythe ht ta derats won leugiM ybraen a ot dneirf sih del leugiM Miguel now detecstared at the C ;3/2<:%//&';<%%3+%, ./%9(! 3/#5=:%(37! H%!his 396/%:! 0-:! 10. #-! 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Water .detpmorp ni erew yehT .rehtaf ym ot kaeps reh her speak to my father. They!were in 3#! prompted. '%60-!.#!3>%0A7!FB'#5.!0!4%%A!'%C ! ! FB-:! 4/2! :#! 2#5! 40-.! ./%! ;1&;&.(0"$0&$>(3"$*:-"$01"-"$(-"$)&$;.:>6*<$V''$&)"$0"(*6&&)$&8$(.>&)'$"P@ .emitMix deb ym(available tsap saw ti ;nehat ctiktwo eht stores worldthe kitchen; it was past my bedtime. os gnidae3. r reHamantashen bmemer I“ “I remember reading somewh 13. ;#(%!&2!&#./%(D3!:%0./1!,!#$%(/%0(:! 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