The Torah Times
“It’s What’s Happening!” Parshat Beshalach
ONE SHEKEL
Copyright © 2012 The Torah Times
Exodus a Disaster! ps h To tion a r To uca d E for
Special reporting by Dawson and Avi Ramm
FOOD critic by Miss Lonen Watchamacallit?!
Man oh Man! This watchamacallit (how else to describe this strange stuff) leaves so much to be desired. The nondescript food makes me yearn for the good old days, the fleshpots and zesty tastes of leek, garlic and onion. The stuff goes bad in one day! No shelf life, no saving grace, barely allowing you to live from one day to the next, it gets all rotten and wormy by the next morning. Besides, the delivery is irregular and unreliable. One day you get one portion, the next day you get double, and the next day you get nothing! Weren’t we promised daily delivery? I tried to find something to eat the day after Friday, but there wasn’t a morsel! All gone! This food is for the birds! This spiritual stuff don’t agree with my system. Something’s obviously wrong when it stays in your stomach, and you get no bowel movement. It’s really so boring to keep on eating the same thing over and over again. Manna in the morning, Manna in the evening, Manna at suppertime..."
Marah’s BITTERSWEET TREATED WATER Another Heavenly Product, Unlimited
Inst Direc ant tio ratio , need ns: s n nec . Grind no pre ess p o trol. ary. P r coo ak ort Fo if No llow in ion co stru nSab One ct b por ath de ions. tion live ry. per Que per stio son n Call s or co 1-8 m 00- ment MO s SHE ? Com 1-8 plaint s 00 I M ? Call NUD NIK Nu trit ion Fac Ser ts: ving Con s ten ts RD 2 A 1/1 Sup 0 efa ern h atu Nat r 1 a 00% l ura l Wa 100 ste % Res 0% idu e 0% 0%
REC I As PE CO You You L RNER ik d a go on't ne e It! ed urm t fanc et che o be f y wit re me asu cipes, h tsps ring c u tho , tbsps ps, se h and ingr ard to edi ge crea ents. B t ima t gina ive an e d tiv of t e. Jus he t th po vario ink dep ssibilit us ies en tast ding o , muc e. The n you r h re ing to enjo 's so the y righ by ha t at titud ve.
g! n i orn m ach e ou y to t s be s, u e o i h t ...t utri . n e & lavors et, m o oles rted f ey swe . h W asso hon aste lly your t a r u Nat son to sea
HISTORIC COLLECTOR’S ITEM!
ly! n e v E Hea RACL I t! A M oductones ! pr ious S rtions
Zin Zenet! One Omer
o c Pre ecial p p in s
! ILY A D o SH ked t ss. E FR l pac shne y Dua ve fre e awa ser shad . e r p p in sun e m e o K fr
No s Preservative added
a
Pr
Supervi s atis
ion
Wood you believe?
e: Dat ery n v io irat r Deli p x e E ft ay A D you 1 s p l x! e x h the bo o b s f Thi out o k thin
Hashgach
MIdBAr ZIN, IYAr 14The same opposition Members of the Opposition party had also protested, Teluna Party have issued “Are there no graves in numerous complaints and Egypt?” when Israel was at dire warnings of grave food the brink during the red Sea emergencies and serious star- crisis three weeks ago. vation that are threatening “Our leaders are reckless Israel. and irresponsible,” com“This so-called ‘exodus’ is plained Miss Lonen, an going nowhere; Opposition leader. “This it’s a dead end! whole “Exodus” concept Are there no How long can is a major mistake, rungraves in we subsist on ning out in utter haste Egypt? 30-day old leftwithout proper planning over Matzah into this deserted forsakcrackers? You en place. “Instead of just lookcan’t feed huning up to Heaven, we gry people with miraneed leaders who are down cles!” they complained. to earth!”
HP