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MAGNOLIA Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

Important Time Sensitive H.O.A. Message Inside

Your Home • Your Community • Your Magazine

March 2011 • FREE


Letter From The Publisher

A

hhhh! March marks the beginning of Spring and it couldn’t come soon enough. It’s finally time to dig the shorts out of the closet, prepare the flowers for planting and rejoice in the warm sun on our faces. Spring always feels like the most well-deserved season, especially after the Winter that we have had to endure this year. The harsher the Winter, the more reason to celebrate the Spring... and celebrate we will! With Mardi Gras, St. Patrick’s Day and Franklin’s Main Street Brew Fest, there are plenty of reasons to get together with friends and family and welcome the warmth back into our outdoor lives. So, get outside and watch the magic of nature as it too comes out of Winter’s hibernation. This March also has a very special celebration in our home. Our son turns 18! It’s a strange event to watch the person that Sally and I still lovingly refer to as “the baby” be accepted as an adult by society. I know that the role of a parent is never-ending, but it’s both joyous and nerve racking to watch our son enter the world on his own accord. To both triumph in his victories and to be optimistic in the face of his defeats. Part of us wants to capture him forever as he is now, but just like parents for thousands of years before us, we have to keep a strong face and take comfort in the fact that we have provided a sturdy platform for his leap into the world. We love you Joshey, and we are so very proud of the man that you have grown up to become. The world is yours!

“Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.” ~W. Earl Hall

ANNOUNCING A MEETING TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE OF THE FIELDSTONE FARMS RECREATIONAL FACILITIES The owners of the Fieldstone Farms Swim & Tennis Club and Club East have offered to lease/sell the Clubhouse, Pools, Tennis Courts, Surrounding Acreage and all associated amenities to the Fieldstone Farms Homeowners Association. The Fieldstone Farms Board of Directors is seeking your involvement and input regarding this offer. Please plan to attend one of two informational meetings to be held at the Clubhouse on:

Thursday, March 3 - 6:00 pm and Sunday, March 6 - 6:00 pm Following the presentation, and including a question and answer session, the Board will circulate a survey to all Fieldstone Farms Homeowners to determine the direction the Community will follow on this issue. Your participation in the survey process is extremely important. Please RSVP indicating which meeting you can attend: By email to PM@Fieldstone-Frams.com or by calling 615-469-6797 4 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

Fieldstone-Farms.com


Credits

CONTENTS

Publisher / Art Director Joshua Carré

JoshuaCarre@MagnoliaPublications.com

Advertising Director / Social Director Sally Carré SallyCarre@MagnoliaPublications.com

Snow Day • 6 Real Estate • 7 What’s Your Story? • 8

Editor Every Aiden Thomas Creative Consultant / Birthday Boy Joshua Cantu Carré Contributors David Jay Deanna Scheffel Kristi Carré Dr. Paul Gaddis Malinda Dowsett

The Flippers • 10 The Fieldstone View • 11 Bulletin Board • 13 It Starts in the Parks • 14 Help Me Rhonda!!! • 15

Fieldstone Farms Contributors Phil Leftwich (Wexford) Susan S. Cheung (Dalton park) Brian Bachochin (Tenbury Wells) Maria Dinoia (Wheaton Hall) Scott Fishkind (Clarendon) Patrick Jackson (Calumet) Karen Creason (Tenbury Wells)

Community Calendar • 16 A New Vital Role for Community College • 18 Monthly Message • 19 Playing To Your Potential • 20 In The Theater • 22

March Cover Photo “Shamrock” Photo by: Claudio Fichera

Fieldstone Business Page • 23 Health & Wellness • 24 Teacher’s Corner • 25 Cuddly Companions • 26 Change Your Conversation • 27

Magnolia Publications Franklin, Tennessee (615) 335-2049 www.MagnoliaPublications.com

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Magnolia Publications is a privately owned company and is not affiliated with The Fieldstone Farms Home Owners Association, Community Management Associates or any of the advertisers within. All Content is © 2011 Magnolia Publications. All Rights Reserved.

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 5


Snow Day by Phil Leftwich of Wexford

“Snow in the South is wonderful. It has a kind of magic and mystery that it has nowhere else. And the reason for this is that it comes to people in the South not as the grim, unyielding tenant of Winter’s keep, but as a strange and wild visitor from the secret North.” – Thomas Wolfe I hear children laughing as they skitter outside my study window on last night’s snow. Such whiteness rarely blankets the South. Thomas Wolfe wrote: “It has a kind of magic and mystery that it has nowhere else.” As a native of the South, I agree. It is true that this “white visitor from the North” is greeted with trepidation and resentment by many, but some of us forebear the inconvenience and listen to the hush of few cars on the streets and the muffling effect of nature’s sound proofing. Shall I go outside among the children, I ask myself, and watch them play? Perhaps I shall experience a few instants of childhood myself. It feels like a good day for a walk. So I pull on a wool sweater, my hiking socks and boots, a hat and gloves, and my warmest jacket to do some neighborhood exploring.. I know where few feet will have trod, so I find the winding path down to the tributary of the Harpeth River that winds beside Lynwood Park. This is the same branch of the Harpeth that flooded its banks on May 2nd and 3rd last year causing so must destruction and emotional damage to many living in Fieldstone Farms. On a normal summer day it is little more than a creek bed with a few deep holes where bluegills and small mouth bass lie in wait for insects that skim the slow moving waters for a drink. Not a bad place for wading, or a game of splash. There are even a few wide spots where one can actually swim, or enjoy some paddling in a canoe, or kayak. Children easily over turn rocks along the creek bottom in search 6 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

of “crawdads.” The Harpeth River Basin is 125 miles long stretching from Eagleville to Ashland City with over 1,000 miles of inter-woven tributaries. It is an extraordinary watershed that contains aquatic life not found anywhere else in the world, and unusual in a course which winds through such densely populated areas. About 25% of the waterway occupies some portion of Williamson County. The river and its branches alone cannot be fully faulted for last year’s flooding for it is we who have built along its banks. It is we who have taken away large portions of the earthen barriers of forests and fields that once held back the river’s flow before asphalt and storm drains took their place. We might consider our “luck” better than some because of the wisdom of the Fieldstone Farm developers who left expansive common areas to accommodate a “One Hundred Year” flood. Our fields turned quickly into lakes, however, when the unexpected happened. How could such a small, peaceful creek cause so much damage to property and lives? The Harpeth is our “neighbor,” and we should treat it with care. There is much we can learn by going to www.harpethriver.org .There are ways we can better live in harmony inside the watershed that the Harpeth River Watershed Association commends to our keeping. Many of the volunteers who help clean and protect the river live around us in Williamson County. Perhaps you count yourself among those who deeply treasure this remarkable part of our community. We have a bigger investment in the river’s future than most others because there are so many of us clustered around the river’s main artery and its capillaries before it empties into the Cumberland. But, today is a snow day. It is a natural time for the adventurous to take a walk in the winter woods and to listen to the soft gurgle of water within the creek banks. Children and their parents play along the hillsides where the sledding is best. My preference is to walk in the woods. The schools and many businesses have closed because of the icy roads. For the moment I have the snow-crusted trees and creek to myself. I walk where there are no footprints. It has stopped snowing for the moment under leaden skies. I listen and watch in the silence and marvel at the purity of the present. I quietly enjoy the brief solitude. Others will surely follow where I have walked. But, if hiking in the winter woods is not your preference there is the equal joy of throwing another log on the fire, and having a cup of hot chocolate.


REAL ESTATE

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 7


What’s Your Story? By Susan S. Cheung of Dalton Park

It’s March already and come the summer, it will be two years since we moved to Fieldstone Farms. From experience, it takes two years to feel settled in a new place. I’ve gone through the normal stages of feeling miserable, where I’ve missed my friends and compared everything to what I’d left behind. Reflecting back, I realize I’ve started to put down roots and make friends. But, it’s taken time and hard work. Despite Nashville and its surrounds being voted as one of the friendliest cities in the US, I’ve found it hard to get to know people. From the outside, long-term residents seem to have enough friends from their family, church or college circles. They seem to have neither the time nor the inclination to make new friends in their busy lives. I’ve spoken to people, who have lived in the sub division for years, but hardly know their neighbors or people down their streets. Most of my new friends are transplants and listening to how they came to live in Franklin, I started to think we each have a story and many of us don’t fit into a neat box. I certainly don’t, being born and raised in England of Hong Kong Chinese parents and immigrant to America for the past ten years. I confuse people. I look Chinese, but I’m not from China and I’m not Asian American. We moved to Tennessee because my husband accepted a research position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. I met a Franklin native, who told me he remembers a time when the population of Franklin was 11,000 and you dialed a single digit on the phone to reach his family business. Fast forward and the US Census estimated the 2008 population to be 58,481. That’s a whole lot of people moving here and they each have their story. Be honest, do we take the time in our busy lives to show an interest in a new person, listen to their story and want to learn more? People ask me where I meet people. I say everywhere—from coffee shops to supermarkets—and I take advantage of the ordinary situations I find myself in as a mother of two elementary school age children. You have to find the time to talk and listen; that’s the hard work of making friends. I’m fascinated by all I’m learning from new friends and their stories. They have dispelled many of my pre-conceived ideas of places, like my limited knowledge of Chile (sea bass and wine) before I met Carolina McCord, who lives in the Grassland area. We met at the preschool both our youngest attended and bonded over an international day organized for the preschoolers. Carolina grew up in Santiago, Chile and worked as a financial analyst for a multinational bank before she met her American husband on vacation in New York City. First came love, then two children (now seven and five) a life 8 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

in Connecticut and Alabama (where they could be close to her husband’s family) before they moved to Nashville less than two years ago. Making friends has been a challenge, but some new friendships have opened up since she started to head one of the PTA committees at her oldest child’s elementary school. The newcomers to Franklin are not all from overseas. We have residents, who have moved here from coast to coast and have experienced lives and cultures very different from that of the south. It can be as lonely for them as any non American adjusting to a new situation. Loneliness is one of the feelings Alyssa Volker, a Fieldstone Farms resident, has experienced settling into the area. She grew up in Andover, Massachusetts, lived in Illinois and upstate New York and moved here with their two children (now six and three) less than two years ago when her husband accepted a dream position as Head of Music Composition at Belmont. We met during Kindergarten testing and struck up a conversation. I found out she had accepted a part-time position as an adjunct classical voice teacher at Belmont. I told her I wanted to have voice lessons and our friendship began. She has since made some connections at work and also at church, where she sings as a soloist and member of the choir. I was happy when a stranger made an effort to chat to me at a children’s birthday party not long after we moved to the area. That person turned out to be Lona Heins, who lives in Mckays Mills. Her background typifies one of the many fascinating stories you find out when you start to make friends. She grew up on a remote ranch in South Dakota, became a nanny in Boston to earn money for school and ended up training to be a pastry chef at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, NY. She came to work as a pastry chef in Nashville in the mid 90s and found herself in the ideal place to pursue her first love, music, as a singer/songwriter. She met her husband, who was also in the music business, and they both decided to leave touring to settle down and have a family. Now, with a six and five-year-old, she’s “still happy, still kicking, still cooking and still singing....” As all three of my friends have told me there are opportunities to make friends, but you have to want it and work at it. I challenge you, go speak to a new person and find out their story. We have to walk the talk before we can live up to the moniker of being the friendliest city. Susan S. Cheung (known to many by her Chinese name, Shifay) is a Fieldstone Farms-based writer originally from London, England. You can contact her at y2s2cheung@yahoo.com


A Walk in Fieldstone Farms Yes, I admit it, I am afraid of dogs. I think about them when I leave for my walk. I cringe when I hear one bark in the distance. I have to walk through my fear when I see a dog on the streets and relax when I see that you, the owner,have it on a leash, which is what you are supposed to do. Yes, I am a grown women, closer to the end than the beginning. It got to the place it is now when I took up walking for exercise back in Michigan. Always on the look for dogs around each street corner and then the incident with two Irish setters. The owner was in the yard painting and the dogs were not leashed. I probably made it worse because I stopped and froze as the dogs were barking are running towards me. All I could you was yell “call off your dogs, call off your dogs”. No, I was not bitten but I was horrified. Today, it happened again. I was walking, had heard a dog earlier in someone’s yard early in my walk. Very grateful for the distance and the fence between us. I was glad that my MP3 player was drowning out any other dog that may be in the route. Your dog was in the front yard, you and your son were enjoying the sunny day, playing basketball in your driveway. The dog was not on a leash and it was big. As the dog headed my direction, all I could do was freeze and say “please”, please.....” The owner asked the boy to take the dog in the house. As the dog ran around me, my hands clenched, my heart raced, my shoulder dropped and I cried. I write this from my home, safe and warm. I will think about this throughout the day, embarrassed over an adult acting like a child. Knowing that I will walk again and I will turn the MP3 a little louder next time and pray that next time this occurs, it may not be as bad as this time.. ~Resident of Fieldstone Farms since 1996

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 9


The Fieldstone Farms Flippers Swim Team

As the warm weather rapidly descends upon middle Tennessee, our thoughts quickly turn to all of the outdoor activities that lie ahead of us in the spring and summer. As such, it’s never too early to start making plans for your children’s summer activities. Before you realize it, the Fieldstone Farms Club pools will be open and along with it, another season for the Fieldstone Farms Flippers Swim Team. Swimming is a fun team sport and a great way for kids and teens The Flippers 2010 Team to stay healthy while making lifelong friends. There are many benefits to joining a summer swim team: • Almost anyone can participate! The only requirement is that swimmers must be able to safely swim one length of the pool. No previous swim team experience is required. • Joining swim team is an excellent way to make new friends and hang out with old ones. Not only will your child meet new people, so will you!

10 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

• The team fees are a great value considering your child can practice 4-5 times week and participate in multiple meets. Swimmers will learn the basic swimming skills needed to practice the sport and maximize its health benefits. • Swimming is a fantastic, low impact activity that works to build strong muscles and endurance. Whether your child is involved in soccer, basketball or gymnastics, swimming is an excellent form of cross training. • Swimming is an outstanding way to build your child’s self esteem. Most kids will see significant improvement in their swimming abilities by the end of the season. Also, swimmers are awarded meet placement ribbons and receive trophies at the end of the season. The Fieldstone Farms Flippers Swim Team is open to swimmers of all abilities. Swimmers cannot be over 18 years old, unless they turn 19 during their senior year of high school and have not been in high school more than four years. The only requirements for joining is that swimmers must be a member of the club and be able to complete one length of the pool without hanging on to someone or something. Swimmers do not need to know the strokes. The Flippers compete in the Williamson County Swim League, which began in 1997 and has seen incredible growth since its beginnings. There are 18 teams from all over the southern Nashville metropolitan area represented in the league. The purpose of this summer league is to give any child or teen a chance to experience a taste of competitive swimming in a fun environment. Each summer, the Flippers swim team is comprised of about 100 swimmers with varying abilities and competitiveness throughout each age group. The goal is for each swimmer to learn all four competitive strokes and to have fun doing it. The coaches focus on stroke development and refinement, while incorporating plenty of drills, games and an occasional doughnut or two! The swim season begins with practice starting in late May and runs through the beginning of July. The team practices in the mornings, 5 days a week and competes in 4 swim meets and the Williamson County Championship meet. Last year, the Flippers finished first in their division with an undefeated dual meet season. The Flippers are led by head coach Lauren Harmon who is currently finishing her senior year at Lipscomb University. She is returning for her third year on the coaching staff and has many years of competitive swimming and teaching experience. The assistant coaches include Nick Benson, a Flippers swim team veteran and current freshman at Western Kentucky University, and Emily Terrell, currently a freshman at Franklin High School. We hope that each swimmer will leave the team with basic skills in all four competitive strokes, a love of swimming, new friendships and great memories. If you are interested in learning more about the Fieldstone Farms Flippers Swim Team, please make plans to stop by the Swim Team open house on Sunday, April 17th from 2-4pm. Coaches and Swim Team board members will be on hand to answer any questions you may have.


The Fieldstone View with Maria Dinoia of Wheaton Hall

Maria Dinoia is a parttime freelance writer who happily resides in Fieldstone Farms with her husband and three kids. mariadin@ bellsouth.net.

What are you most looking forward to when the downtown Franklin theatre re-opens later this year? “I’m looking forward to spending a day on Main Street with my family and catching a classic movie at the theatre. But I also am really curious to see what it looks like inside”. ~Jeff Dannemiller

“I am so happy and excited that the Franklin Theatre will be re-opening. Our Main Street is a wonderful attraction that benefits all and the theatre is a part of that. Movies on Main are a part of Franklin’s history. In addition, I look forward to the proposed multicultural events, too! It will be a perfect venue for live performances and fun, educational opportunities for children!” ~Sherrie Sinks

“We love downtown Franklin, we will love riding our bikes downtown and seeing a movie. Just gives us one more reason to spend time in downtown Franklin.” ~Carol DeFranco

“I am looking forward to taking my family and making it more of a “movie experience” for them rather than just watching a movie. We will take in all that the theatre has to offer as well as exploring downtown Franklin. We can’t wait!” ~Mindy Carpenter

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 11


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MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 13


It Starts in the Parks!

By Deanna Scheffel, City of Franklin Parks Department

This month spring arrives and it can’t get here any sooner after this “historic” winter. At the City of Franklin Parks Department, we love spring because that means our parks come alive with people and the activities move outside again. Not only is the grass growing, the trees leafing and the birds flying, but there is an excitement of things to come. This is the Civil War Days time of year everyone seeks out the sun and looks to the parks for outdoor enjoyment and fellowship. We are now preparing our recreation programs and gearing up towards a busy spring and summer. We are thrilled to be a contributor to the Magnolia magazine and in the coming months plan to keep you informed and up to date on all the City of Franklin Parks programs and events. For this issue I am going to give you a quick primer on our park system. The City of Franklin has grown to 16 parkland areas or 704

14 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

acres within the city limits over the past 10 years. We classify our parks as Active, Passive and Historic. The classification identifies what purpose and activities are allowed in that park. K-9 Korral Opening In your neighborhood, we have two Active Parks including Fieldstone Park and Liberty Park. These two parks and Jim Warren Park comprise the athletic or sports centered city parks. All the organized team sports are conducted on these facilities. The Passive Parks include Pinkerton, Aspen Grove, Harpeth Greenway and Dry Branch along with the Historic parks of Eastern Flank Battle Park, The Park at Harlinsdale Farm, Winstead Hill, Fort Granger, Assault on the Cotton Gin, Ropers Knob, Collins Farm and Bicentennial Park. These parks are for leisurely pursuits in quiet and natural settings and generally offer walking trails, playgrounds, picnic areas, open air pavilions, and expansive greenbelts. Organized sports and practices are not allowed in these parks. While the Historic Parks are passive and open to the public, they are primarily the protected parklands that are part of the broader federal, state and local preservation of significant historic battle sites and properties. We treat these parks with quiet respect and as hallowed ground. All of these parks will eventually have historical interpretation. The significance of each property drives the limitations we have set forth for usage. The Historic parks are Concert in the Park purposely without amenities like shelters, an abundance of picnic tables, and playgrounds. This is to preserve the essential character of the land. The City of Franklin Parks Department web page www. franklintn.gov is a great resource for you and your family to keep up to date with the programs and activities in the parks. We will be announcing the summer activities soon but to kick off the spring season please don’t miss Arbor Day/Earth Day on Saturday April 16 at Pinkerton Park from 10am -2pm. We will be giving away tree saplings in celebration of the day and also there will be food, entertainment, information and activities for everyone. Throughout the year please call our event hotline 615 550-6947 for the current month’s activities. Don’t forget that the Pavilion rentals at Aspen Grove Park and Jim Warren Park are heaviest in the spring and summer. Please plan ahead if you are making arrangements for a function at either of these parks. The application and the terms and conditions are available online and can be located by going to Parks (under the Your Government tab) and then to Documents Online. If you would like to send any of your questions or concerns to the Parks Department you can do so by emailing to parksinfo@ franklintn.gov or you can call our administration office at 615 7942103. See you in the Parks!


Help Me Rhonda!!!

An advice column for residents of Fieldstone Farms Dear Rhonda, I need your advice. My regular hair dresser whom I have seen for years is on maternity leave. While she has been gone, I have been seeing another hair dresser at the same salon, and I actually like the new hair dresser better! Would it be wrong of me to switch hair dressers? How can I do this without hurting my old hair dresser’s feelings? Signed - Hair in a Tizzy! Dear Hair in a Tizzy, No it would not be wrong to switch hair dressers. Bottom line is it’s your hair and your money. If you prefer the way Stylist B cuts it, then you should make the switch. They are professional service providers, you are a paying customer. Just call and make the appointment. If Stylist A is there when you are, smile, ask how the baby is doing and move on. Dear Rhonda, I don’t know what to do. I saw some kids in our neighborhood knocking down all the beautiful snowmen the families had made. It really upset those of us who spent quality time with our children building them. Do I just ignore this and say “Kids will be kids” or do I say something to the children who did it. Do I mention it to their parents? - Signed, Frosty got Iced Dear Frosty Got Iced, Well that is just rude! Yes, kids will be kids, but it is our neighborhood too. I would talk to the kids. Then if it happens again, I would talk to the parents. We need to feel like we can build a snowman or snow-woman (saw a lot of snow-chicks sporting bikinis after the last big snowfall throughout Fieldstone) in our yards without the risk of someone “icing” them in the wee hours. Got a question for Rhonda? Submit your question to ask.rhonda@yahoo.com

discover summer at

ACADEMICS • ARTS • ATHLETICS for ages 5 and up. www.battlegroundacademy.org

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 15


FIELDSTO

COMMUNITY CALENDAR Local Events Every Saturday & Tuesday Winter Farmer’s Market Sat: 9:00am - 12:00pm Tue: 3:00pm - 6:30pm The Factory

March 2011 Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

1

National Pig Day

Wedne

Dr. Seuss’s Born in 1

Sat 5th

Franklin Girls Cotillion 8pm-12am Liberty Hall, Heritage Room & VIP The Factory

Thu 10th - Sun 13th Country Music Cluster Dog Show 9am - 5pm AgExpo Park Sat 12th

Sat 26th

Main Street Brew Fest 6pm - 9pm Downtown Franklin Cross Country for COTA 8:30am Harlinsdale Farm Park 239 Franklin Road

8 am - Pilates at the Fieldstone Club 6 pm - Weight & Core class at Fieldstone 9:30 am -Cardio at the Club

6

Oreo Cookies for Sale for the first time in 1912.

3pm - Zumba at The Fieldstone Club

13

Daylight Saving Time Begins. Clocks move forward one hour.

3pm - Zumba at The Fieldstone Club

WCS District Calendar Thu 10th End of Third Quarter Grading Period Tue 15th

20

First Day of Spring

No School (District wide Staff Development Day)

Mon 21st - Fri 25th No School (Spring Break) All calendar content is not verified and is subject to change without notice.

8

Telephone Patent Granted In 1876 to Alexander Graham Bell.

9:30 am - Integrated Training at the Fieldstone Club

14

Albert Einstein’s Birthday Born in 1879.

9:30 am - Integrated Training at the Fieldstone Club

21

National Teen-Agers Day

8 am - Pilates at the Fieldstone Club 6 pm - Weight & Core class at Fieldstone Club

15

HOA Board Meeting 6pm Christ Community Church

8 am - Pilates at the Fieldstone Club 6 pm - Weight & Core class at Fieldstone Club

National Goof Off Day

22

Ash Wedn

9:30 am -Cardio at the

Freedom of Info

9:30 am -Cardio at the

Toast D Nellie Melba re Melba Toas

SPRING BREAK

ACT

Fri 18th

7

3pm - Zumba at The Fieldstone Club

27

National “Joe” Day Everyone who hates their name can be called Joe this day.

3pm - Zumba at The Fieldstone Club

16 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

9:30 am - Integrated Training at the Fieldstone Club

28

Something On a Stick Day

9:30 am - Integrated Training at the Fieldstone Club

8 am - Pilates at the Fieldstone Club 6 pm - Weight & Core class at Fieldstone Club 9:30 am -Cardio at the

29

Passover Begins at Sundown

Alaska Pur Purchased from 1867

8 am - Pilates at the Fieldstone Club 6 pm - Weight & Core class at Fieldstone 9:30 am -Cardio at the Club


NE FARMS

esday

2

Birthday 1904.

Fieldstone Club

9

nesday

e Fieldstone Club

Thursday

Friday

3

National Anthem Day The Star Spangled Banner was adopted by Congress as the national anthem in 1931.

8:30 am - Pilates at The Fieldstone Club 9:30 am - Yoga at The Fieldstone Club

National Poundcake Day

First Paper Money Issued this day in 1862.

8:30 am - Pilates at The Fieldstone Club 9:30 am - Yoga at The Fieldstone Club

16

17

e Fieldstone Club

8:30 am - Pilates at The Fieldstone Club 9:30 am - Yoga at The Fieldstone Club

23

24

4

9:30 am - Power Sculpt at The Fieldstone Club

10

ormation Day

Youth Art Month Music in our Schools Month National Nutrition Month

Saturday

Parachute was invented By Da Vinci in 1515.

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9 am - “Out of Water” Aerobics at The Fieldstone Club

11

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First Basketball Game The first public game was on March 11, 1892.

9:30 am - Power Sculpt at The Fieldstone Club

9 am - “Out of Water” Aerobics at The Fieldstone Club

First Walk in Space In 1965.

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Swallow’s Return Day The traditional return of swallows to San Juan Capistrano.

St. Patrick’s Day

Day evealed her st recipe.

Harry Houdini’s Birthday Born in 1874.

9:30 am - Power Sculpt at The Fieldstone Club

9 am - “Out of Water” Aerobics at The Fieldstone Club

25

Pancakes First Made in New York City in 1882.

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Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

SPRING BREAK

e Fieldstone Club

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rchased m Russia in 7.

Fieldstone Club

8:30 am - Pilates at The Fieldstone Club 9:30 am - Yoga at The Fieldstone Club

Cesar Chavez Day

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9 am - “Out of Water” Aerobics at The Fieldstone Club

9:30 am - Power Sculpt at The Fieldstone Club

For the latest Fieldstone Farms News and Information, please visit www.Fieldstone-Farms.com

8:30 am - Pilates at The Fieldstone Club 9:30 am - Yoga at The Fieldstone Club

Local Phone Numbers

Emergency..................................911 Poison Control......................936-2034 Crisis Intervention.................269-4357 Franklin Police......................794-2513 Williamson Co. Sheriff........... 790-5550 Franklin Fire Dept.................. 791-3275 Williamson Medical Center....435-5000 Animal Control......................790-5590 Schools Hunters Bend Elem...............472-4580 Walnut Grove Elem............... 472-4870 Grassland Middle.................472-4500 Franklin High........................472-4450 B.G.A................................... 794-3501 Columbia State C.C...............790-4400 Williamson Co. A.L.C............790-5810 Services Middle TN. Elec (Service).......794-1102 Middle TN. Elec (Outage)877- 777-9111 Comcast.......................800-266-2278 Direct TV........................866-505-9387 Local Government Franklin City Govt..................791-3217 County Clerk.........................790-5712 Franklin Library.....................595-1250 Veteran Affairs......................790-5623 Miscellaneous The Fieldstone Club..............790-9124 Senior Services....................376-0102 Voter Registration.................790-5711 Chamber of Commerce.........794-1225

542 Homes Sold in FF

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 17


A New Vital Role for the Community College by Dr. Paul Gaddis

The role of the community colleges in the American education system is currently under transformation. These colleges are becoming vital to the effective functioning of the entire system from K through 12 to the universities. The transformation now underway has been caused by several pervasive themes in American education, emerging factors which have been around for years but are now coming into sharp focus because of the current economic recession. The more important among these factors are--1. The highly publicized lack of employment opportunities for recent graduates from four-year colleges, and the graduates’ unsuccessful efforts to seek out jobs. This problem has lead to serious reflection about the real value of four-year higher education. 2. The steadily rising overhang of personal debt which graduates incur as a result of their borrowing to complete their four-year educations, leading to additional public questioning of the value of higher education. 3. An increasingly vocal segment of higher education professionals who are taking the somewhat controversial position that our culture is pressuring too many young people to seek

Columbia State Community College, Franklin

a four-year degree, whether or not this course is compatible with their aspirations or their capacities. 4. Our public universities and our private universities, while they each face a different set of problems, nevertheless are facing together a common threat. In each case, the financial models under which they have long thrived are becoming unsustainable. (See “Saving Public Universities…”, Wall St. Journal, November 23, 2010, among many other articles addressing these problems.) In their search for new financial models, these institutions are facing tough decisions about refocusing their curricular offerings, reducing the size of their faculties, reviewing how many students of which qualifications they can enroll, and adjusting the level of tuition they must set. 5. The progressively increasing competence and relevance of our nation’s community college sector, as exemplified by our own Columbia State Community College which has become a model for effectiveness among U.S. community colleges. These factors and others, taken together, are acting to bring community colleges prominently into the public view. It is not that our community colleges are competing with our four-year institutions, rather they are collaborating in responding to the significant problems facing our entire educational infrastructure. The availability of community college programs is assisting the universities in reshaping their own programs to meet the challenges in the economic environment, and thus we have a “win/win” situation. In the economic climate ahead, Williamson County’s highly competitive and aggressive business community will be substantially reinforced by the presence of a top-level community college in close proximity to their operations. In Williamson County, we should assure ourselves that our public officials are taking into account the new critical importance of the community colleges. As citizens of the County, we should be gratified that Columbia State continues to offer the highest quality learning experience, even while their campus in Franklin has become obsolete. And we should insist that Columbia State now be provided with a modern, fully functional campus for the vital purpose of higher education in our County---a campus which will materially assist Columbia State in meeting the increasing demands which will challenge our community colleges nationally.

18 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine


True Potential

by Brian Bachochin of Tenbury Wells

I am what is known as a bi-vocational pastor; sometimes also called a “tent-making pastor,” which is to say that I work a regular full-time job in addition to ministering at our fellowship here in Franklin (Some who have heard me preach might well suggest that I not be in too much of a hurry to quit my day job!) That said, having spent around two-thirds of my life in the workplace, I’ve become very familiar with the concepts of pecking orders and the struggle for stature; the drive for parking spot numero uno, the corner office and the key to the executive bathroom. I’ve held leadership positions and I’ve also had a chance to work for a variety of managers of differing styles and leadership qualities. Some have been very effective leaders, and some... well, not so much. Nowadays, there are so many avenues one can pursue en route to becoming a strong leader. Blogs and career sites are myriad and resources abound for those seeking to develop the skills necessary to “change the world.”

MONTHLY MESSAGE of insights to glean from this passage, one important truth that emerges implies that when it comes to God’s “corporate culture,” it’s not as much about your ability, as much as your availability. Hmm. With that in mind, imagine what the Master Potter might fashion if you let Him set His skillful hands to work on you!

CALVARY CHAPEL FRANKLIN Simply teaching the Bible...simply Sunday Mornings at 9:30 am Meeting at the Fieldstone Farms Swim & Tennis Club 1530 Lexington Pkwy, Franklin, TN 37069 Phone: (615) 870-7310 e-mail: ccfranklintn@gmail.com www.CalvaryChapelFranklin.com

Pastor Brian Bachochin

Well, all of that got me thinking... If you were going to put together a leadership team, what sort of qualities would you look for in a potential candidate? After all, if you’ve only got a certain number of spots to fill and a limited amount of time to accomplish your mission, you’d very likely want to pour over resumes and interview only top-notch candidates; strong contenders who will quickly become powerful contributors. You’d be on the lookout for the cream of the crop; people who’d really bring something to the table in your organization. After all, you’d want to make sure you’ve got the best possible fit, right? By contrast, Jesus assembled the most influential ministry team in history with arguably the most ordinary men of His day. Primarily composed of fishermen, Jesus brought together a number of outcasts from society who, in many instances didn’t even get along with each other (often guilty of trying to establish a pecking order of their own! - Cp. Lk. 9:46, 22:24). They were hardly the cream of the crop. Amazingly though, Jesus knew this about the crew He was assembling, and yet He chose them anyway. That seems like a counter-productive approach, but somehow Jesus made it work. That was the key - It was Jesus who made it work. Healing the sick and raising the dead wasn’t in their “skill-set” before they came to Jesus; again, most of them were simple fishermen. But in the Hands of the Master Potter, these very common lumps of clay would become vessels of honor - Fishers of Men who’s impact and influence has reached even to our day; leaders who were and remained first and foremost servants, which ultimately served to make them great leaders. 2 Chronicles 16:9 says that: “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.” While there are a number MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 19


Playing to Your Potential by Patrick Jackson of Calumet PGA Director of Instruction Vanderbilt Legends Club Golf Academy

G

olf is the most complex and difficult game you can play. If you compare the methods of Jim Furyk to that of Tiger Woods, one can see that there is no “right” way to play this game. Great players know how to manage themselves and manage their game. When their game is off, they find a way to get it around the course and into the hole. PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT Your ability to hit a good shot on the golf course relies directly on your ability to hit consistent shots on the practice tee. Rapid fire is not the means to good golf. Every shot on the range must count also. Why can you hit so many good shots on the practice tee, but not the course? It’s simple; you always have another ball waiting for you. There’s no pressure to hit the current shot to the best of your abilities. Here are some ways to improve your practice time: • Focus during your practice and improve faster with less time wasted. • Warm-up properly– Helps you to calm the nerves and become confident. • Pretend you are playing the course and play trouble shots on the range. • For every shot you hit practicing your mechanics, hit 2 that you only think of the target. • Play shots, don’t just beat balls. • Practice your short game as much as possible.

YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR WORST SHOT Ben Hogan, who is arguably the finest ball striker of all-time said that he only hit 2 or 3 shots each round exactly like he wanted. That meant if he averaged 30 putts and scored 69, he made at least 36 swings that weren’t as good as he wanted. He minimized his mistakes on his bad shots and had the confidence from 1000’s of hours of practice that the next shot would be his best of the day. How can you expect to execute good shots when you’ve only practiced for 30 minutes in the past week? THE TURTLE AND THE HARE “The woods are full of long drivers.” You must keep the ball in front of you on the golf course. If that means hitting two 7-irons rather than a driver, then do it. How many times have you see the guy that hits it 150 yards down the sprinkler line and is always getting up and down for pars and bogeys. Pretty soon you wish you could be doing it. “It’s not how fast you get there, it’s just getting there.” OVERCOMING IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS Have you ever told yourself that it’s just not your day or that you should have stayed at work? Those days that you just don’t have it, challenge yourself to get the most out of your game. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Stay positive and play within your abilities. Don’t allow yourself to hit shots based upon the emotions of the moment. HAVE A GAME PLAN Map out a plan in advance. Just because you triple-bogeyed the first hole, don’t scrap your plan for the round and start going for broke. Know what holes favor you and which ones don’t. Play for bogey on the holes that don’t suit your game, don’t try to make a miraculous par. Stick to your game plan! COMMITMENT You must be totally committed to improving your game. A onemonth effort with no results was not an effort. You cannot change your game overnight and you will not change the natural way you swing at the ball, ever. You must “go with what you got” when you step on the first tee. Those that accept what they “got” and play to their strengths are the ones that can take their games to the course. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT If you don’t focus on the present, you are wasting your time. The present is the only time that you have any control over!! When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear (future) and frustration (past) from our mind. It is only then that you will be able to play to your potential. If you wish to elevate your game, please contact Patrick Jackson at 615-791-3471 or email pjackson@ vanderbiltlegendsclub.com.

20 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine


IN THE THEATER

Bravo Creative Arts Center presents

a contemporary musical retelling of the classic story, “The Ugly Duckling”

Music by George Stiles

Book and Lyrics by Anthony Drewe

Evening performances Friday, March 25th & Saturday, March 26th at 7:00 pm Matinee performances Saturday, March 26th & Sunday, March 27th at 2:00 pm Performed at The Father Ryan Center For The Arts, 700 Norwood Drive, Nashville 37204 $8 General Admission / $10 Reserved tickets are non-refundable

For ticket information call 615-599-5314 www.bravocreativeartscenter.com Huge thank you to our sponsor Bravo Creative Arts Center is a 501(c)3 organization supporting youth in the arts

HONK! JR is presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI). All orized performance materials are also supplied by MTI. 421 West 54th Street, New York, NY 10019 Phone: (212)541-4684 Fax: (212)397-4684 www.MTIShows.com <http://www.MTIShows.com>

HONK! Jr. (March 25 - 27) The youth of Bravo Creative Arts Center present a new musical based on one of the world’s favorite tales - The Ugly Duckling. Honk! tells the story of Ugly, who is born as a Duckling, but soon realizes he is no ordinary duck. Mocked on the farmyard, pursued by the ravenous Cat, Ugly finds himself lost and embarks on a journey through the countryside meeting a gaggle of colorful characters and finding himself, and love, along the way. This award-winning musical from London, filled with witty lyrics and a tuneful score, will be enjoyed by the entire family. Performances at The Father Ryan Center For the Arts, 700 Norwood Drive, Nashville. Evening performances are March 25 & 26 at 7pm. Matinee performances are March 26 & 27 at 2pm. Tickets are $8 general admission / $10 advanced, reserved. Information www.bravocreativeartscenter.com (615)599-5314. 22 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

Before heading to Broadway next year, the beloved musical “Annie” hits the stage at Bethlehem United Methodist Church, March 4-13, with an incredible community theatre cast of adult singers/ actors, a talented ensemble of orphans and the unique opportunity to adopt a special dog each evening according to BUMC Music and Arts Director Harry Robinson. “With professional Director Dietz Osborne and amazing musicians, ‘Annie’ will be musical theatre magic for the whole family with songs like ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘NYC.’ Our talented cast, including Cate Tucker and Mackenzie Roberts alternating the role of Annie, are joined on stage by theatre veterans Johnny Peppers and Jenny Norris-Light seen regularly at Chaffin’s Barn Dinner Theatre,” Robinson said. “An exciting element of our production is our partnership with Happy Tales Humane featuring a special dog at each performance available for adoption.” In addition to the cast dog, Sandy, a Happy Tales dog will appear on stage in various crowd scenes and will be available for adoption. Interested audience members can visit with the dog during intermission and immediately following the show for possible adoption. For more information, check out the Bethlehem Players videos at www.youtube.com/bethlehemplayers. In addition to regular shows and three dinner shows, the production has four lunch matinees that will give guests the opportunity to have a picture made with Annie and The Gang. “Annie” is presented by the Bethlehem Players community theatre at Bethlehem United Methodist Church, 2419 Bethlehem Loop Road, Franklin, TN (37069) during selected times March 4-13. Tickets for show-only are $15 for adults and $10 for high school students. Dinner show tickets are $22 for adults and $18 for students. A 10% discount is available for groups 10 or more. For more information, please call 615-7916456, ext. 2 or visit www.ticketsnashville.com.


FIELDSTONE BUSINESS PAGE

The advertisements on this page are Fieldstone Farms resident owned businesses. If you are a resident of Fieldstone Farms and wish to advertise your business here, please contact us at: FFBiz@MagnoliaPublications.com

Support Your Neighbors!

MagnoliaPublications.com â&#x20AC;˘ March 2011 â&#x20AC;˘ 23


HEALTH & WELLNESS

Introducing Functional Training by Scott Fishkind of Clarendon ACE Certified Personal Trainer

Most modern fitness facilities are primarily equipped to favor a bodybuilding oriented approach. This involves training isolated muscle groups using single joint exercises that move in one plane of motion (usually forwards and backwards, aka the “sagittal plane”). These exercises are also often performed in a seated or lying position using machines or benches that create external support for the body. While this approach is effective for creating a strong stimulus for those specific muscle groups, they neglect to use the body itself for stability. While one may build an aesthetic physique and certain types of strength, this type of training often creates a lack of true integrated, “functional” strength. This is because one doesn’t learn how to stabilize or coordinate their musculature in the way they need to function in daily life. The body is designed to work in integrated movement patterns often transferring force from the ground upwards through its various segments. These interconnected segments are referred to as the “kinetic chain”. Let’s look at the chain of events involved in performing a very common task such lifting a box off of a floor to place it on a table. One has to bend, reach for the box, pull it towards the torso, extend the body upwards, turn from the hips, move towards the table and finally extend the arms in order to place it on a table. That synchronized sequence of movements requires precise timing of the neuromuscular system to move smoothly while also having the strength to move some segments while stabilizing others. If one tries to do this without properly integrating the entire body then one can easily overstress one or more segments of that chain which can lead to injury. Unfortunately, the isolated type of training I discussed above will not only neglect to enhance these types of integrated movement patterns, but it can actually disrupt them. This is because the muscles do not learn how to fire in the correct sequence for the necessary tasks of mobility or stability. In more recent years there has been a return to a more integrated approach which is referred to as “Functional Training”. Unfortunately the name “Functional training” has sometimes 24 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine

been misused and some people associate it with doing exercises that resemble circus acts and/or the use of specific fitness tools (Swiss balls, Medicine balls, BOSUs). While these are excellent tools, they are often used in a way that is anything BUT functional. It is not the tool that makes an exercise functional but rather the application and context. One way functional training may be described is as “training movements rather than isolated muscles”. These movements can also be subdivided into 5 fundamental movement patterns which consist of Bending and lifting (i.e. squat), Single leg (one leg balance or lunge), Pushing, Pulling and rotation. From the perspective of time efficiency, one can train the entire body just using five exercises that utilize these basic movement patterns. By doing a circuit consisting of these primary movements (plus a warm-up and cool-down) one can cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time. Another common element of functional training is “Ground Based training”. These are exercises performed from a standing position (such as a split stance) and rowing or pressing with cables (or elastic tubing). This type of training has stabilization requirements from the ground upwards. By performing these exercises unilaterally (one arm at a time) you can create even more core stabilization since you will have to resist rotational forces by this uneven (asymmetrical) loading. This training is also a form of “Stabilization Limited Training” (SLT) because one can only push or pull as much load as their ability to stabilize it. This approach means than one will typically have to use less loading compared to exercises that use the assistance of a bench or machine to help stabilize them. While not great for the ego, SLT is hard to beat in terms of creating the type of usable strength one is more likely to require in day to day life. As one advances you can even take this type of training farther by combing several types of movements into one exercise such as a “squat with a cable row, or split squat with a cable press. With just those two combination exercises you are able to train four out of the five fundamental movement patterns. I want to emphasize that this article has left out many other aspects of what may fall under the umbrella of functional training; it is merely an introduction to this approach. I also want to stress that I do not believe that training has to be mutually exclusive and consist of ONLY functional types of exercises at the exclusion of all others. In fact I often like to combine a functional circuit with more traditional strength training within the same workout. This way you get the best of all worlds, or what well known strength coach J.C. Santana refers to as “Strength you can use!”


Reading by Kristi Carré

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” ~Dr. Seuss

Reading is such a big part of my life. It’s one of the reasons I became a teacher. Reading triggers your imagination and takes you wherever you want to go. I can go to the majestic green hills of Ireland, or to the vast deserts of Egypt. I can go to the time of King Henry VIII, or into the future with houses on Mars. Reading is the most exciting thing you can do! Reading is the foundation of all learning. In order to learn, you must be able to not only read, but understand what you are reading. The best

TEACHER’S CORNER way to improve your reading? READ! The more you read, the better you will become. Read magazines, newspapers, comic books, chapter books, picture books, road signs, etc. Reading more is the only way to be a better reader. So, Read! FOR SALE I am selling beautiful hardcover books. Some are brand new, others are very gently used. I have a list I can e-mail to you if you are interested. The cost is $10 for 1 book, $18 for 2, and $15 for 3. I can deliver them to your home to save on shipping. Please e-mail me to receive the list of books. Kristi Carré at kristicarre@hotmail.com

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 25


by Karen Creason of Tenbury Wells

forward-up and forward-down – used at stairs right about – used when making a 180 degree turn left and right – used when making a 90 degree turn left-left and right-right – used while in motion to turn right or left at the first opportunity find the – door, sidewalk, chair, car, steps, elevator, etc. straight – used during a street crossing

From a 15 pound, 9 week old bundle of loveable fluff to a 55 pound, 6 month old bundle of energy, Honey is growing and changing quickly. She has mastered all of her required basic commands (sit, stay, down, come, no, ‘busy busy’ on command, down-stay, stand, forward, take a break, switch and heel), has semi-mastered drop it, easy, give & hold and we are now working with Honey to teach her the more advanced commands she will need to master before she is paired with her blind owner. Some of these commands include: under-down – used at tables in restaurants so Honey is out of the way of other patrons down-under – used at chairs so the Honey is not in the way of passer bys

We attend twice monthly puppy raiser meetings to practice obedience skills with Honey and take her on an interesting exposure outing. Our most recent puppy raiser outings have included exposing Honey to the Gaylord Opryland Hotel, riding around town on the Franklin Trolley, attending a luncheon for the Foundation Fighting Blindness and visiting Centennial Sportsplex to see the pool and ice rink. Honey is beginning to understand when she is wearing her blue training jacket she is a working dog and, as such, cannot be petted, jump up to greet new friends or give ‘kisses’ unless told she can ‘take a break’. If you see us around, you will understand why I say she is ‘beginning’ to understand! We are most thankful for such understanding business owners who allow us to visit their businesses with Honey, patient neighbors and friends who understand how excited Honey becomes when greeting people and for each of you who read this column and take the time to explain to your children that Honey is in training and cannot be interrupted while working. We are thankful to each of you for your help with Honey as she continues to work toward one day becoming the eyes for her blind owner. www.guidingpuppy.blogspot.com – Our blog about raising Honey www.guidedogs.org – Southeastern Guide Dogs website

CUDDLY COMPANIONS

Honey

26 • Magnolia • Fieldstone Farms Community Magazine


Change Your Conversation by Malinda Dowsett

E

veryone has a story and how you tell it matters. Deliberately changing your conversations – the way you talk about your life – changes the vibration you hold yourself to and every experience you attract into your life. In real terms what that means is, what you talk about you think about and what you think about you bring about, every single time. So many times we harp on the negative things in our lives. You know what we’re talking about. You hear these stories all the time: my childhood was awful, I grew up in an abusive home, I was picked on in school, I’m going through a nasty divorce, I am always left out, I am financially struggling, I don’t make enough money, I hate my job, my boss never compliments me, my co-workers don’t like me, I hate my commute, my kids are out of control … the list goes on and on and on. What we don’t realize is that holding onto such thoughts only attracts more of the same into our lives. Let me explain.... We are physical and non-physical at the same time, and that non-physical side of us has been called many things throughout the ages: spirit, soul, innerguide, conscience and consciousness. Our non-physical side is pure positive energy. It is the greater part of us – the non-physical source of “all that is” in the universe. Our thoughts channel that energy into the physical world. So when you focus on a thought, that thought holds “you,” the non-physical side of you, to a vibration, an energy vibration, and just like a magnet you attract similar vibrations into your experience. When we start listening to the conversations we have with others (and ourselves), they very quickly tell us exactly what vibration we are holding ourselves to. You see it happening all around you all the time. A next door neighbor down on his luck and all he ever talks about is how awful life is. A mother-in-law who criticizes everyone even as she complains that no one ever visits her. A child who doesn’t like school and wonders why he is always picked last for a team. Each of these people unconsciously holds themselves to a very low, negative vibration because of the nature of the thoughts they allow themselves to dwell on. Each of their stories feel victimized, powerless, helpless and out of control. When we hold ourselves to a negative vibration -- and like-attracts-like -- this is what we receive in return . . . more of exactly what we do not want. On the flip side, if we shift our perspective from one of anger, frustration, helplessness, and despair to one of gratitude, forgiveness and compassion,we immediately feel our mood shift. We immediately feel better. We immediately feel a sense of relief. We are always one thought away from changing the vibration we are holding ourselves to and changing what we attract into our life. A young mother called to talk with me this morning about her 15 year old son. “I cannot handle him,” she said. “I cannot deal with his disrespectful attitude, anger, and manipulation anymore. What am I supposed to do?” She described how that morning she hurriedly asked him to go out to the car to warm it up and clean the snow off so they could get him to school on time. He resisted, verbally sullen. “He was mouthing off,” she said. “He got up but gave me attitude the entire time. So I let him have it. Do NOT speak to me like that and go out and clean the car! What a rotten way to start the day,” she said resentfully. I said, “Let’s stop right there. If you look past the attitude, can you see that he was doing exactly what you asked? Yes, he was moving slowly but he was doing it. Focus on what you want. Move past the attitude because the attitude is what you do not want. Validate his authentic response which was completely aligned with your request. Say, thank you. I really appreciate it. Now we’ll get you to school on time, that’s great, thank you, and turn around and walk away. Totally ignore the behavior you do not want because the more that you give what you do not want your attention the more you say, “Come to me this thing I do not want.” Negative emotion, whether you are verbalizing it or not, triggers the Law of Attraction. Whatever you are thinking about becomes your reality. If you want to move beyond “that which does not feel good” and want him to change, you have

to change what you are thinking first. Once he has done what he’s been asked to do, reward him. Reward the behavior that feels good to you. Say something like: “Hey bud, thank you so much. I greatly appreciate that.” Expressing gratitude to him will make him feel good, he did a good thing. He may not acknowledge it, but he heard it. If you start expressing gratitude even on the smallest of levels it will become easier to recognize more and more behaviors that make you feel good, make him feel good,and so the process begins. “But he gave me lip,” she protested, wanting to be right. I brought her right back to what she wanted. “Your need to be right is causing you to focus on the negative, and thus the entire experience becomes an unhappy exchange,” I pointed out. “ Focus on the positive because it is there. Whether he did what you asked with attitude or not, he did it. If you want the WAY he responds to you to change, then you have to change. You must be the change you wish to see in your son. Because if you are not grateful and loving and thoughtful always – all ways – how can you expect him to be?” “Are you telling me it is okay for him to give me a hard time when I’m trying to get HIM to school?” she asked incredulously. You can’t fault him for who he is. He is a teenager with raging hormones, peer pressure, and very poor examples of behavior in every form of media he is exposed to.Your son has good in him somewhere. Beneath all that he expresses, the anger, the attitude, the mouthing off, all of that stuff...step back for two seconds and see him for who he is. That boy is in pain. It comes down to nothing more than being in pain and being taught by late night TV shows and truly unloved kids that this is the way you talk to people, this is who I am supposed to be at fifteen and this is the only way I know how to operate. When you see him from his vantage point, now you know that he just lacks good information -- better information. In every exchange with your son, you are being given the opportunity to give him better information. This is rich ground to teach him to interact with you in the way you choose. If you stick to your guns and hold the vibration that you really want with your son, he will have to come up to your vibration and operate on your level. That’s the way it works. You can teach him by example that life is a process of continually moving past undesirable attitudes and never giving them a second thought. Never give into what you do not want. Keep moving past what you do not want. A week later, two weeks later he will begin interacting differently with you because it feels good, and he won’t even know it. If you can express to him on even the smallest of levels, any sort of gratitude...thank you for taking out the trash … even though he huffs and puffs his way through it . . . simply saying, thank you, thank you, thank you shows him and you great compassion and love. He will be dumbfounded if you sincerely express gratitude for him. This does not mean that you roll over in the face of bad behavior. This means that you always look for authentic ways to validate his worth – to himself and to you. Little by little, as your conversations change, he will change. You have to figure out why you’re so angry with him, find compassion for him, and let it go. He is a child, despite his age, and he is starving for good information. He’s starving for someone to tell him how to do better and what is really going on. When it comes down to it, bad behavior never has anything to do with the other person. It has everything to do with you. You can only control YOU. The reason he makes you so angry is because you expect him to react the way you would or the way you want him to and every time he doesn’t, it makes you angry. So the next time a habitual behavior pattern arises, step back and allow yourself to see his pain. Step back for two seconds and see it for what it is. Then ask yourself: if I know I don’t want this, then what do I want? It may be something as simple as you want your son to do his chores peacefully and respectfully, or that you want to be able to have open communication with him. I want to enjoy my time with him. I want to have a healthy relationship with him. So now as you interact with him, instead of anticipating the behavior that you don’t want, anticipate the behavior that you do want. The behavior that feels good to you. When you change your conversation, you change your vibration. This is how you change your life. For more information, go to www.changeyourconversation. com.

MagnoliaPublications.com • March 2011 • 27


Happy Birth Josh


y 18th hday hey

Love, Ma & Pa


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ANNOUNCING A MEETING TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE OF THE FIELDSTONE FARMS RECREATIONAL FACILITIES Please make plans to attend one of the two informational meetings shown below and participate in the process of determining the future of this important aspect of our community. Thursday, March 3 - 6:00 pm & Sunday, March 6 - 6:00 pm Location: Fieldstone Farms Swim & Tennis Club - 1530 Lexington Parkway Following the presentations, which will include a question and answer session, the Board will circulate a survey to all Fieldstone Farms homeowners to determine the direction the community will follow on this issue. Your input in the survey process is extremely important. Mark your calendars now, and we will see you there. Respectfully, Fieldstone Farms Homeownersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association Board of Directors Please RSVP to Mike Velker (469-6797 or pm@Fieldstone-Farms.com) to help us estimate the audience size. HOA Board Meeting - March 15, 2011

Monthly Board meeting - Christ Community Church at 6:00 PM

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Magnolia FF March 2011