Nature's Bond - Winter 2021

1

NATURE’S BOND CONNECTING THROUGH FOREST THERAPY JANUARY 2021

$8.00

2

3

4

5

Writers January 2021

JAYNI CAREY

MANAGING EDITOR

Cookbook Author / Former Cooking Show Host

LONITA COOK Film Critic

Ann Niccum DESIGNER / ART DIRECTOR Joaquin Miles DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY Trenton Bush CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

JULIE DUNLAP

TRACEY ENGLISH

SHARITA HUTTON

MEG HERIFORD

Storyteller

Personal Fitness Trainer

Marlyn Heger third K photography Toni Brou CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jayni Carey Lonita Cook Julie Dunlap Tracey English Sharita Hutton Meg Heriford Priti Lakhani Megan Stuke Cameron Wood SOCIAL MEDIA Marlyn Heger

Journalist / Superwoman

PRITI LAKHANI Global Citizen

Diner Owner

MEGAN STUKE

Non-Profit Executive / Writer

EMAIL COMMENTS TO editor@LWomensLifestyle.com ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Meredithe McCormick VP of Business Development Meredithe@LWomensLifestyle.com SUBSCRIPTIONS LWomensLifestyle.com/subscriptions PUBLISHER Kern Marketing Group L Magazine is published quarterly by the Kern Marketing Group Inc. It is distributed via US Postal Service mail to households in Topeka, Lawrence, Eudora, Baldwin, De Soto, Lenexa and Shawnee, Kansas. All rights reserved. No portion of this magazine may be reprinted or reproduced without written consent from the publisher. Articles and advertisements do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Kern Marketing Group. The Kern Marketing Group does not assume responsibility for statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors.

Information in L Magazine is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed.

CAMERON WOOD Writer / Student

To learn more about our writers, visit LWomensLifestyle.com/writers

6

INSIDE

10 | Love Letter to Kansas Celebrating the Sunflower State

COVER

JANUARY 2021

12 | Nature’s Bond Connecting through Forest Therapy

21 | Real Person’s Guide to Working from Home 34 | Tracey Tries...Self Defense 37 | The Artful Conversation Wearing Positive Messages

46 | Non-Profit Highlight: Junior Achievement Sponsored by Edmonds-Duncan

48 | Non-Profit Highlight: Boys and Girls Club Sponsored by Edmonds-Duncan

50 | Chili Nights Ahead For Chilly Weather

54 | Let the Sun Shine Artist Finds Way to Brighten Your Day

58 | The Last Word

7

8

9

w

features 16 | Leaning into It Women who Love to Ride

22 | All the Single Ladies Diary of an Online Swiper

28 | Sisters Similar and Singular

40 | Focusing on the Strengths Living with ADHD Lonita Cook

10

In the month of Kansas’ birthday, a note about my home state:

Love Letter to Kansas. by

Meg Heriford // Photography

by

Trenton Bush

Although I was born here, for years when anyone asked how I liked living in Kansas, I’d shrug and offer that it’s as good a place as any, explaining that I don’t seem to be someone for whom contentment is contingent on any particular geographical circumstances. I’ve lived as happily in the Sonoran Desert as I have on the beach as I have tucked into a small valley in the Flint Hills. The only place I couldn’t seem to hack it was a small city in northwest Pennsylvania in the late ’90s, where I never did shake the chill from the lake effect. I could not fathom that a cloud cover might maintain outright jurisdiction over a place so completely as to not allow more than a scant glimmer of direct UV rays from October to April. I chased the sun back to the coast of Southern California with little more than a few boxes of books in my trunk and a tragically optimistic philodendron on the passenger’s seat of my Volkswagen.

By the time my path wound back to Kansas, I wasn’t traveling so lightly, with a baby and a husband who had never set foot east of the Gila National Forest. I cheerfully championed the abandonment of temperate weather with assurances of gentle thunderstorms through screened-in porches, piles of leaves from golden oaks and bright red maples, snow angels and the impetuously early skyward probes of a daffodil. It wasn’t even a week after we arrived that April that an F4 tornado tore through a town just a couple hours west, making, of course, national headlines, and exposing the fraudulence of my claims. “Well,” I waved off his dubious eyebrows, “it’s as good a place as any … and look! No scorpions in the sink!”

For years I sold myself this bill. Any place is as good

11

“Any place is as good as another so long as you have access to a decent cheese selection.”

- Meg

as another so long as you have access to a decent cheese selection. What I underestimated in those younger years is my connection to this place, undeniable as a belly button, that would plunge roots deeper than I’d known I was capable of.

What began to stir in me on the prairie, soaring its terraces and diving into its valleys, was a thing that I couldn’t exactly name, but I knew that it felt sort of like bouncing in the back of my dad’s truck on the way to get a shake from Brick’s, sunflowers brushing our outstretched hands each time he swerved onto the shoulder to make us laugh. It’s learning to be very, very still at Carnahan Creek because that’s how you’ll find frogs and turtles and newts. It’s a wide sky over hills that look like a thousand napping Bona Dea. To watch my mom walk a trail through the Flint Hills with my kids puts me smack in the middle of the infinite loop, feeling the coming and going of time and blood as sure as the wind on my face.

I know that I’m lucky to have it, this connection to a place. I call it my prairie. This is my prairie, I tell the kids, maybe yours, too. Travel, I say. Explore.

Have adventures. It’s a long life, but it’s a big world, so don’t dally. Go all the way to the moon if you like, but remember this place. And if this doesn’t do it for you, don’t stop until you find a place that whispers its secrets to you, somewhere the song sings itself.

It’s my wish for everyone. Whoever, wherever you are, I hope you will find your soulmate in a salty wave or a foggy marsh or a city corner or a Bluestem hilltop.

I’m lucky enough to have been born in my place. It was gifted to me, this recognition, and it ensures that in this often disregarded flyover state, I see a wild place, an adventurous place, sturdy geologic treasures and fragile ecological exchanges, but mostly I just feel home. It is where I found my heart, and a place big enough to hold it.

Ladybird, Collected: Read stories of commerce and community as told

by Ladybird Diner owner Meg Heriford. All book purchases fund Ladybird’s community meal service.

Purchase at ladybirddiner.com

12

NATURE’S BOND CONNECTING THROUGH FOREST THERAPY

by Julie

Dunlap // photography by Trenton Bush

“Your screen time was up 19 percent this week, for an average of 6 hours, 49 minutes per day.”

It is not the alert most people enjoy receiving every Sunday, but it was certainly a popular one for much of 2020.

With winter settling in and the pandemic still looming large, it may be tempting to reach for the phone for a bit of self-soothing in the world of social media.

But a literal -- and powerfully healing -- wonderland is only steps away from the other side of the front door as Lawrence-based Nature Therapy Guide Shannon Gorres invites us all to slow down and take a closer look through one of the fastest-growing new wellness practices: forest therapy.

“Scientific research shows the plethora of health benefits of being in nature,” Gorres explains, citing studies cataloged

Shannon Gorres

13

through the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy (ANFT). “Besides the physical benefits, there are psychosocial benefits, and emotional and spiritual benefits as well.”

The practice of forest therapy, or more specifically “forest bathing,” began in Japan when physicians noticed an increase in ailments such as autoimmune diseases, cancer and heart disease as the country became more urbanized in the 1980s. Noting the cultural shift in surroundings from dirt and leaves to concrete and steel, healthcare professionals and researchers began developing programs designed to help people reconnect with nature. These experiments resulted in dramatic increases in health, including lower depression and anxiety, and led to the creation of the Japanese practice of forest bathing.

The ANFT, formed in the United States in 2012, took notice of the work in Japan and developed a sequence of activities for practitioners in the U.S. The organization has since trained more than 1,100 forest therapy guides practicing in 55 countries.

“Forest bathing is growing quickly,” Gorres emphasizes with a smile as bright as the sun above her.

While the benefits of being in nature might seem obvious to anyone who has taken a refreshing walk around the neighborhood or inhaled the scent and rhythm of rolling waves or gazed at majestic mountains, guided forest therapy sessions delve much deeper.

“Forest therapy walks are slow and sensory-based,” Gorres says. “Not hikes where we’re exercising, but instead we’re dropping into our bodies’ parasympathetic nervous system to heal and restore our mind-body and creation connection.”

The forest therapy walks Gorres offers typically begin with a 15-minute guided meditation followed by a slow walk into a natural setting and a period of time to use one’s senses to explore various plants or beings. Walkers are then invited to share any observations and drink tea Gorres makes from nearby plants.

Gorres says much of 21st century culture trains us to see natural life in a certain dead, objective way, but actively communing with even one element of nature can change our entire relationship with it.

“We might pass a tree and think, ‘There’s a cool tree’ or ‘There’s an oak tree,’ quickly categorizing and dismissing it,” she explains. “But when exploring all the textures the tree has to offer for a solid 10 minutes, the insights are hugely different ... ‘I never noticed how many ants depend on this tree for life’ or ‘The tree looked strong on the outside, but I found this rotting part on the inside, and it reminded me of how heavy of a burden I carry at my workplace while putting CONTINUED P. 14 »

14

up a strong front.’”

Forest therapy walks typically last at least two-and-a-half hours, but the impact lingers far longer, aiding stress reduction and attention restoration, helping employees back in the workplace because they’ve had time to re-ground.

“I had a couple come on a private walk excited to attune to nature in a new way, but what floored them is that they attuned to each other in a new way,” Gorres says. “They had never communicated to each other without providing some sort of feedback or opinion. They said, ‘We have never listened before without judging or simultaneously thinking about responding back.’ They felt like it had revolutionized their relationship just practicing hearing each other’s experience for what it is.”

For those not quite ready to commit to multiple hours just yet, Gorres regularly offers both public and private yoga hikes consisting of a short walk into the woods, a yoga session and a short hike back out.

“Doing yoga in nature grounds us to the earth, the sky, the animals, the plants,” Gorres says, noting the benefits of yoga, such as regulated blood pressure and decreased anxiety, are further elevated by this human-nature connection.

The fractal patterns naturally occurring on plants and leaves have a calming effect; the phytoncides protecting trees from disease can be taken in through breath or touch to boost our own immune systems.

“I know people can find their connection to divinity in many forms.”

15

Gorres is not only a certified forest therapy guide and yoga instructor but also has two master’s degrees and is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ and Sufi Ruhaniat International.

“I see truth and beauty in all spiritual paths, and I know people can find their connection to divinity in many forms,” she says.

For more information on Shannon Gorres’ practice, visit: www.divinenaturetherapy.com For more information on forest therapy, visit: www. natureandforesttherapy.org

While having a trained guide can make a significant difference in the depth of the experience, you can practice forest bathing on your own! Set an intention and a timer to walk very, very slowly in a natural setting for 10 minutes. What do you notice in any kind of motion around you? Then set your timer again, at 10 minutes for each of these invitations:

1. Experiment Close your eyes and listen to: the quietest sounds, the loudest sounds, the most intriguing sounds, the most pleasing sounds.

2. Play Wander around and find something that your heart would like to be close to. Bring the object near or onto your heart.

After spending some time exploring that closeness, feel free to find another and repeat.

3. Edge First, gaze around and notice the qualities of winter light.

Shadows are the longest in winter. Bring sticks, rocks or other natural items to outline your shadow on the ground.

Then place objects inside the silhouette to mark the places shadows exist in you. How does it feel to let them be seen?

Abby Llardi

16

Leaning into It Lonita Cook Trenton Bush

by photography by

Women who Love to Ride

Her name was Nikki. With her painted-on flower print jeans, shoulder length, sandy-brown curls bouncing against her white T-shirt, gold fingernails and gold tooth, she was more than just a rendering of ’80s hipness. Lord knows where she is or if she ever knew that she changed lives, but that day, Nikki was my sorceress.

I was walking around the block from N. 20th in “the Dotte” with some other neighborhood kids, the sun beating down on us, the sweat pouring over our brow, the heat sweatering our flesh.

The sun whittled the silhouettes of bushes, buildings and bodies around the structure and some light glinted from the chrome on the motorcycle that pulled smooth onto the gravel lot in front of the little white box-of-a-shop where the riders hung out.

The driver carried a passenger with arms gripped around her waist. We barely stopped because the bikers were a fixed presence in our ’hood, but my glance lingered when he pulled his helmet off. It was a young-

er-than-Nikki guy with a rich cacao to his complexion, dark curls and a ready smile.

Though I didn’t break stride in our conversation about whether or not Michael Jackson could moonwalk like that because he was actually from the moon, I noticed how that passenger beamed at Nikki. I had never seen anything like it and didn’t know to find it unusual. A woman and what I believed to be her bike.

A male passenger. I was instantly enchanted.

Weeks that followed were dyed with motorcycle daydreams. The rumble-to-roar of my bike -- joined by the thunder of sister engines -- formed a chorus of us rolling by some little girl, with me waving like a leather-clad heroine. I’d look like a grown, rounded woman. And when I’d pull my helmet from my head, the wind would lasso my hair. And that little girl would, too, be beguiled by the bike.

Enough was enough. I told my mama she had to buy me a motorcycle. Now, my mom was rarely gruff with me, and I don’t remember exactly what she said

17

Gail Worth - Gail’s Powersports

Gail’s Powersports

over her shoulder as I nestled in the back seat of her Buick, peeking out as we passed the biker bar on 18th & Parallel. But it was not a yes.

Over the years, I listened to the warnings that motorcycles are dangerous, and biker clubs are actually biker gangs, which had very little sway because the bikers were the first “gangs” I knew, before Hollywood romanticized blue and red. These guys laughed out loud and held fundraisers.

High school, then college, love affairs, broken hearts, babies and careers drifted in and out, and the Lonita who rode a motorcycle had become nothing more than the fantasy. The true me was a good girl and listened (usually) to her mother.\Even for longtime motorcycle expert and owner of Gail’s Powersports, Gail Worth, her mother kind of freaked out a little when she started riding. But she was ten. Even though she’s a legacy (her parents opened a Harley-Davidson dealership when she was 13), her mom who was a triage nurse and has seen some things still feels a little squeamish about her baby-girl riding motorcycles. But her dad is an avid rider. It’s in her blood. And it has been with her throughout her formative years into adulthood.

“It’s not like you ever outgrow it or go through it as in ‘I’ve been there once.’ You’re in it, and it’s always cool. It’s always the greatest thing ever,” Worth says.

“My first big Hog Ride was so long ago, but I still feel it all the time. When you’re in a group of bikers, you’re surrounded by your brothers and sisters, and everybody’s got your back.”

Our mutual friend, military veteran and KC Weddings 2 Go owner, Nancy Kerr, also started riding very early. In 1970, she was nine and told her mom and stepdad that she wanted to ride. Her stepdad taught her everything he knew, and riding was a family event.

“I did things that my two older brothers did. They were in the Scouts. Girls didn’t really have that back (then). I played on boys’ sports teams because we didn’t have girls organized sports,” Kerr reminisces over the fun of youth. She still has her first Suzuki Trailblazer.

Like most people, I have felt like something is missing. My life is full and still there is something. These 40s have revealed the culprit: gumption. It had never really been my mother who kept me from riding. It

Lonita Cook (left) and Gail Worth CONTINUED P. 18 »

18

was fear. Not fear of the wheels and the road but of being myself. “Riding gives you a boost.

You’re doing something unique that not every man does and not every woman does,” Kerr says. “There’s a cool factor, a wow factor with people who ride.”

But her most essential idea is that “women have to realize that they are strong enough. It doesn’t take much strength to hold a motorcycle up. They need the courage.” It is the “what I want” that scares me.

Business ownership, a lean figure, a closeness with friends and loved ones. After nearly nine years of dating, I confessed to my boyfriend that I’d always wanted to ride a motorcycle.

After smearing the shock from his face, he showed me a few bikes online and asked what I thought of them. Two weeks later, he had a Kawasaki Ninja 400 parked in our driveway. Oh, the confrontation. Right in front of me was the fantasy daring me to come get it. I had never actually been on a motorcycle. I’d only had a crush on them.

Am I too old to learn? Too out of shape? Can I Timberlake my sexy? I’m just a girl who wants to command smiles and the bike like Nikki. Would riders accept me? Kerr has been instrumental in increasing

accessibility to motorcycle riding for women through saleswomanship and women’s rider groups in the KC region. She says, “I rode when women did … not … ride. Women didn’t ride in the 1970s or the 1980s and barely in the 1990s. Now, I don’t feel that there’s any kind of stigma with women riders. What I see is all walks of life: older women, bigger women, tiny little petite things. Any woman can ride.”

Worth notes that men have not only been accepting, they have been helpful, especially as she was building her business. Kerr (who owns three small businesses) considers for the first time that her ability to engage so many edgy pursuits is due to having learned to ride early. “In the military, I was an expert marksman. I was a certified scuba-diver at 12 and also learned to ski. The motorcycle was the very first thing I learned that really took brains,” she says.

You have to be in the moment to ride. It is very intimate. Both Worth and Kerr assert that a rider becomes one with the bike. It becomes part of us. When we lean, it leans. When we turn our hands, it turns.

We become one. After earning my endorsement from Gail’s, she’s advised me in my pursuit to move the motorcycle out from the imagination into reality.

“women have to realize that they are strong enough.”

Nancy Kerr

19

“There’s a comradery between motorcycle riders. It really doesn’t matter what you ride, motorcycle riders just want to be together,” she says. “Motorcycle riders as a whole stick together.” The fire of that fantasy has been reignited. In my vision, like Nikki, I’m on a Harley. Becoming one with the bike begins with the fitting. At Gail’s, Andy Server walks me through the detailed and personalized process of buying my very own Harley. And so the matchmaking goes: A personal fitting. The inseam, torso and comfort level are different for each person. Fitment. What do I want from the machine? What kind of riding will I be doing? We get out and ride it. What’s great sitting may not be the same on the road. Start with the foundation. The best payment on the wrong bike is still the wrong damn bike. With assuredness and enthusiasm, Worth says, “I just love it, the feeling, the freedom, everything. When you get on a motorcycle, it doesn’t matter how stressful your day has been. You get on that bike and everything just goes woosh and you just go. And it’s you, the motorcycle and the road.”

Kerr’s wisdom also rings in my core: “Being mindful is a major part of successful living, of being successful, and I learned that riding. It gave me an edge on courage, on believing in myself.”

But sometimes that comes with consequences.

I was going too fast. I squeezed the front brake and the bike went down. It didn’t feel pretty in the moment with onlookers gaping or for a couple weeks after as this body responded to the newness of falling down. I had fallen. Worth promises that it happens to everyone. She’s done it. And everybody was watching.

When riders fall, we get back up.

The year 2020, brought so much grief and shock, but it was also a year of self-liberation. The first time I put my boots up on the pegs and made the bike go, the spark in me swelled. Even in my short and limited riding experience, I have learned that a rider has to make good choices. We’re not just living our daydreams through the ride; every moment is a conscious choice. This enhanced awareness has resulted in a deeper sense of excitement and nerve.

I have started that business I dreamed of, learned to edit video, recommitted to fitness and all the other things I loved but put down over the course of my life: playing the upright bass, painting, cooking. I have picked them back up. I owe this renewed sense of self and release to riding.

20

21

REAL PERSON’S GUIDE TO WORKING FROM HOME by

Megan Stuke //

illustration by

Joaquin Miles

THAT SAID, I HAVE LEARNED A FEW THINGS. TAKE HEED.

1) The pets have saved my children’s sanity but are costing me mine. My dogs bark at every person who walks in front of the house, which is to say they bark all day. The secret to not wishing your pets could go “live on a farm” is to keep them in your workspace with you, with the door closed. Your only hope is isolation and proximity.

2) If you are fortunate enough to have a home office, that’s great, and you and your pets can hole up in there all day. But here’s the truth: I have one, and I hate it. So now it’s a junk room, and I work from my bedroom. I literally sit in my bed all day. With my dogs. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll feel like Elizabeth Taylor.

3) And that brings me to the next important thing: pajamas. If you are not on a virtual meeting, you should be wearing pajamas. Invest. Buy yourself a few luxurious things so that while you work from your bed with your dogs, you are encased in satin.

Working from home is supposed to be the dream, right? It’s about yoga pants all day and maybe a surreptitious power nap in the afternoon. I have been working from home since March 16.

I’ll be honest: It’s not what I imagined.

And I’m still terrible at it.

4) Lastly, we have to address the children. If you have them, and they are at home, they are going to try to ruin your work-from-home luxury camp. They are going to come in regularly and want help with math problems that you are probably ill-equipped to handle. This is a job for Siri. Ask her. This is a survival situation, and your children should see your resourcefulness in action. Also, I recommend buying a set of sleep headphones. They look like a cute headband but are actually playing your favorite podcasts or Lizzo album, and you can look like you are deep in thought and can’t be bothered.

And never forget that fancy coffee (for you) and Lunchables (for the kids) are your friends.

22

23

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES by

Sharita Hutton //

photography by

Trenton Bush

It’s funny how when you are single you often dream of finding a soul mate, going out on fun dates, maybe dancing or to hear live music, and then you think maybe I can even fall in love again. Then COVID-19 arrives, you find yourself too busy taxing kids to and from events — add to it that finding someone is less than easy.

Then your girlfriends come into the mix to save the day, so you think, and suggest you try online dating. “It will be fun they say” … “you will meet all of these great people” … and you listen. The good news: I still love those girlfriends, I have learned some interesting things about men and myself, and I am happy to report I am not alone in this crazy life of swiping left and right. Here is the story I do not want my parents to read … or my kids. Since age ain’t nothing but a number, I will simply say I am in my 40s, mom of two amazing kids, sports addict, movie lover, hard worker, determined, dedicated and single.

I started this online dating adventure nearly a year and a half after my divorce. Just getting signed up was nerve-racking -- what picture do you chose, what all do you say about yourself, will anyone match with me, and if they do how do you even start a conversation? Very quickly I learned that matching with others was the easy part; it’s the conversations that came next that was hard. I do consider myself a people person.

If I am in a crowd, I will talk to anyone, and while I love meeting new people, online feels different.

Oh, and then there is the first somewhat blind date. What to wear, what will he look like, will he think I am too fat, will we have anything to talk about? Turns out finding the answers to the questions was easy, it’s the stories that followed that will always make me chuckle.

Like the guy who not even halfway through my first drink asked if I was going home with him (ummm … sorry I am not THAT girl, and for all of THOSE girls out there, I am not dissing you). Or the guy who wore half a bottle of cologne that caused my eyes to water all night, and he had to keep asking me if everything was okay. Or the guy who over text sounded amazing and his photos were … let’s go with handsome.

CONTINUED P. 24 »

Angela McClure

24

Angela McClure

25

Then we meet for dinner, and he talks about how he is cheating the government. And this guy who was married four times ended up ghosting me? (that’s what I call dodging a bullet). Or the guy who I swear didn’t own a car, and I would see him walking to the place we were meeting. (I will say I went out with him two extra times in hopes of confirming this theory but got bored trying to figure it out.) But as I look at the dates, I sometimes laugh and think how much I have grown from these crazy experiences, how it changes my expectations and, most importantly, how sometimes sharing these stories allows me to bond with other women who also find themselves in the same situation.

“UMMM...SORRY I AM NOT THAT GIRL.”

MEET MY NEW FRIENDS — WE WILL JUST CALL OURSELVES “THE SWIPERS.” JENNIFER PANTOJA (IN HER 30s)

Jennifer Pantoja

Meet Jennifer. A woman in her 30s and single but not for the lack of trying. “I tried them all. Match, Christian Mingle, Hinge, Bumble, just no Plenty of Fish or Tinder,” Pantoja says. “Match was the hardest -- 20 million questions -- but once I got through it, it was okay. The first guy I was going to have a ‘date’ with was a coffee date. We were supposed to meet at Starbucks on the Plaza. He never showed up or told me why. I sat there and waited for a little bit then went for dinner alone.”

I should mention, if you are feeling bad after reading that, don’t.

Turns out Pantoja had a great night thanks to some bartenders.

“I thought I made a decent match with a guy through Hinge.

But then we started talking through Google hangouts, and then he asked me for money. I’m like, ‘Dude, I’m on a teaching aid salary.

Not gonna happen,’” Pantoja says.

She admits finding the right dating app for you is just as important as finding the right man. “Christian Mingle is supposed to be a Christian site that is all about trusting that God is going to match you with someone right. But, honestly, it was just guys who were in their 60s wanting to be my ‘sugar daddy’ or wanting me to send pictures. I just kept telling them ‘no’ and got off the site.”

JENNIFER’S ADVICE: “It just depends if the person on the other side wants the same thing. There are so many guys out there who want to meet someone, but just like us ladies, we get played. The weeding out process is possible, but those guys who are creepy make it so difficult to stay in and keep looking for the right person. If you want to keep going, then do it. Make sure the person is the right one for you, but just be careful no matter what. Love is possible.”

CONTINUED P. 26 »

26

ANGELA MCCLURE (50s) McClure knew after her divorce that being alone was not for her, so she decided to try her hand at online dating. “When I started online dating, I did work hard on my profile. Making sure to elude to the fact that I worked in prosecution/ criminal justice to keep the creepers away,” McClure says.

And while her online dating list is not long, the smiles that come from it will last a lifetime. “We (McClure and online date guy) had gone out a couple of times before, so I knew he was pretty cheap,” she recalls. “Then he signed us up to eat at this nice restaurant -- only catch was we had to listen to a presentation on insulation for the free meal.” Needless to say, they did not work out. But McClure does keep an open mind when it comes to online dating. “I think the problem is we are all looking for the Hallmark/Lifetime ‘spark.’ It is either not there for one of us or we never meet,” she says.

ANGELA’S ADVICE: “I say try it. Some of it is fun. It very hard to put yourself out there. Have friends help you out. They sometimes know you more than you are willing to put out there. I think there is love out there.

I’ve seen it, it’s just not for me yet.”

Angela McClure

Leah Vanderlinden

LEAH VANDERLINDEN (30s) Meet Leah Vanderlinden. She has tried online dating off and on for a number of years. First, at the age of 18 and then after her divorce. “Bumble by far has been my favorite and took me out of my comfort zone,” Vanderlinden says. “I now have a new respect for men since the app forces you to start the conversation with the man -- something I would probably never do if the situation was different.” As for finding love. Vanderlinden is still on the quest but has racked up quite the list of stories to go along with the journey. “One guy that I call Scientist (because that is what he did for a living) got to the restaurant before I did,” she says. “As I looked around the restaurant for him, I could not find him.

Turns out he looked totally different than his picture.” After a couple of drinks, Scientist went on to say, “If you want to continue this date and get something to eat, you will need to pay for your meal since I bought the drinks.” So Vanderlinden left. Then there was the guy who during dinner waved over another man who sat with the two of them during the date. As the two appeared to exchange something under the table, Vanderlinden quickly realized, “I am sitting at a Mexican restaurant on a date … during a drug deal.

My date then confirmed he needed money to take me out.” They

27

never spoke again. But then “Molasses” came into her life.

“I called him that because he was slow to ask me out,” she says.

“After like 10 or 11 amazing dates, he asked me to come over so he could cook for me. I was so excited.” That is until Vanderlinden arrived at his house. “There was literally junk and trash everywhere. It was something out a horror movie. There is this beautiful man, that I liked a lot, standing there cooking like nothing is wrong with what I am seeing,” she says. “I finally came clean and told him we would not work out -- that was heartbreaking to do.”

LEAH’S ADVICE: “Online dating is an adventure in itself. Before you try online dating, spend some time really thinking about your list of qualities you want in a man. How much time do you want him to spend with you? How do you want him to treat you? Then make a mental agreement that if he does not meet these ‘Musts’ qualities you move on to the next guy. Don’t settle, and most importantly do not conform to connect.

AND FINALLY...

SHARITA’S ADVICE: Know that every flaw we find in men, they find flaws in us. But embrace those flaws. Do as Beyonce sings: “Accept me, flaws and all.” Don’t take rejection personally. Know that God may have just helped you. Most of all, laugh. With online dating comes some funny moments. Grab a girlfriend or two, a bottle of wine and share those stories. Because if they won’t listen … I will.

Stay tuned … because not all online dating stories have a crazy outcome. Next edition, we talk to the so called “winners” of online dating.

28

SISTERS:

Similar & Singular by

photography by

Priti L akhani Trenton Bush

Baya Burgess (left) and Brooke Burgess

29

Sisters are having a moment. Consider Elsa and Anna of “Frozen.” Or the recent popularity of the March sisters, Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy of “Little Women.” The power of biological sisterhood, though often examined, was largely ignored by popular culture until the last decade.

Having a sister has been a source of comfort and consternation for me. Like all sisters, I can’t imagine my life without her.

My sister and I are polar opposites. This has been our narrative.

But as time goes on, what I realize is that we are more alike than we thought and perhaps would like to admit. It begs the question, are sisters similar or singular?

CONTINUED P. 30 »

30

“We are like an old married couple. We fight a lot, but we love each other.”

- Baya Burgess

Meet Brooke and Baya Burgess: Same difference.

Brooke and Baya are both 17-year-old juniors at Free State High School and identical twins. “I wish everyone had a twin.

It’s like having a built-in best friend,” Baya says. “We are like an old married couple. We fight a lot, but we love each other.”

Brooke and Baya are articulate, bright and kind. They clearly adore one another. And yet, they are quick to point out how different they are.

“I do classical ballet. Baya does more hip hop and modern dance. That’s a difference,” Brooke says. Baya continues, “Being twins has influenced us to be individual. We never liked matching outfits. Brooke’s fashion sense is more girly, and mine is more street style.” They both love school and are passionate about their extracurricular activities. Brooke’s interests lie in science, and she is loving AP Biology.

She wants to go into healthcare. Baya on the other hand, enjoys writing and is active on the yearbook and newspaper staff.

She also loves photography and wants to be a journalist. As a result of their parent’s jobs, their family lived in Athens, Greece, for a year, where the sisters attended public school. While navigating a new culture, language and country was difficult, they both agreed it was fun. The best part of it was they experienced what might be thought of as a trying year as the adventure of a lifetime. Why? Well, your built-in best friend was going through it all with you.

31

Meet Stella and Tilly: Working like dogs.

Stella and Tilly are both Bichon Frise dogs who go to work every day. Their parents, Rebecca and Jeff Burgess are therapists who see clients at Restoration Mental Health Services. They go to work most days with their parents and offer a source of comfort to their clients. While they are not trained as therapy dogs, they are dogs that help people in therapy.

Meet Hong, Bo and Ling Zhang: Unique. and Universal.

Hong Zhang is an internationally renowned artist and one of three sisters. “We were not a traditional family. The Chinese culture wants sons, and we were three daughters. But we weren’t just three daughters. We, my sister and I, were also ‘the twins.’ We were rare in China,” Hong says.

“We were raised in an art community by art professors. Then, without formal training, at the age of 15, we took a national test and were admitted to the most prestigious art school, the Beijing Academy of Fine Arts. It was a boarding school, and we were placed on a train for 8 hours. We went very far away to school for years. We were far away from home, but we were together.” The three Zhang sisters are all artists. Hong lives here in Lawrence, Bo, her twin, lives in Chicago, and Ling, her older sister lives in Atlanta.

“Ling is very independent, Bo is more traditional,” Hong says. Hong went on to get her MFA at UC Davis and is famous for her art. She just finished an exhibition in Milan. Last year, she and her sisters exhibited their work together in Lawrence.

Hong did ink and charcoal. Bo chose mixed media and collage.

Ling did acrylic and oil. “We chose Natural Elements as a cohesive topic and used different mediums,” she says. One of Hong’s greatest paintings is a triptych: “The Three Graces.”

“I wanted to tell my story. What was my signature work? I wanted to express my cultural heritage and then looked at my sister’s photos. I wanted to do a self-portrait,” she says. This beautiful portrait presents all three Zhang sisters as individuals and siblings. The center portion, which is the largest, represents Ling, the oldest, and the twins, Hong and Bo on either side.

Instead of drawing faces, she painted the back of her and her CONTINUED P. 32 »

Hong Zhang (left), Ling Yan Zhang, Bo Zhang

sister’s heads to place focus on their long, straight hair.

Another work which shows the personal connection she has with her sister is “Twin Spirits.”

“It consists of two large charcoal hair drawings, self-portraits of my twin sister and me. We have both had long hair since high school, which has become our main identifying feature. I use the disembodied image of long, straight, black hair as a reference to our identity,” she says. Zhang explained that by focusing on hair instead of facial features for self-portraiture, she found that her work resonated with women from other cultures.

She says, “Hair is meaningful to all cultures. It represents beauty, temptation, health, vitality and even rebellion. It’s unique and universal.” Much like these sisters.

Alie and Corey Scholes: Sisters in service.

Alie Scholes is an emergency medicine physician at St. Luke’s Hospital and Corey Scholes is a director of education at the Kauffman Foundation in Kansas City. “Corey leads with her heart. I lead with my brain,” Alie says.

They grew up in a close-knit neighborhood. As adults, they still live there on the same street. “We are two houses away from

“If you didn’t have a place to be, you have a place with us.”

- Alie Scholes

Alie Scholes (left) and Corey Scholes

32

each other. I’ve never lived farther away than a yard from either my mother or my sister,” Alie says.Corey lives in their childhood home, and Alie bought a house across the street. Don’t tell these women you can’t go home again. They chose to come back for the sense of community. “We grew up thinking and believing we were an integral part of a community, and we thought everyone else was, too,” she says. Corey gave a great example of what this was like.

“We all watched out for one another. Any mom on the block could ground us, and believe you me, we knew which ones were the strict moms,” Corey recalls. Alie relays what this meant to her: “I’m not sure if it is the family, the church or the community we grew up in, but we were raised to say yes. When people say ‘yes’ to you, you think big things are possible.” Corey sums it up this way: “You always help people who ask you.” This has translated into their adulthood. Prior to working at the Kauffman Foundation, Corey was a teacher and a principal.

“When (Hurricane) Katrina happened, I was a principal. I was 30ish, and these kids came without clothes, or shoes, to my school. I was distraught when I saw their needs and told Alie as much. She gave me some simple advice. ‘Don’t talk about it.

Do it.’ So, we had a garage sale! Within two weeks, we got beds, bikes, dishes and clothes. The families went through the huge gym at the school, and they got to take whatever they needed.

The kids got to go ‘shopping.’ The families where overwhelmed by how much, and how many people donated. We furnished 83-plus family’s homes entirely.”

As an emergency medicine physician, Alie headed up a community art project called “These Are Their Faces” after witnessing first-hand the effects of gun violence. She started making portraits for mothers who had lost their children to gun violence out of Legos. How does it feel to be an ER doctor during the pandemic? “This is what I’m supposed to do. I definitely am ‘weirded out’ by all this ‘health care hero’ thing. Well, of course, I’m working during a pandemic. I’m an ER doctor!

That’s not heroic. That’s my job,” Alie says.

While they may have different approaches, neither think of their occupations as mere “jobs.” They think of them as vocations, a calling. They live to serve the community in which they were raised. As Alie says about Corey, “All her friends are her best friends. She will say ‘If you are my friend, you are my family.’ And she means it. If you didn’t have a place to be, you have a place with us.”

33

Sisters are our first best friends and our closest family. We share genes and jeans, upbringing and uncles. The sibling bond is undeniable, and more importantly, unbreakable. Perhaps we all want to highlight how different we are because we are acutely aware of how alike we are. See, we are different? We both study dance, but different forms of it. We are all artists, but we use different mediums.

We have both chosen lives of service, but she’s a teacher and I’m a doctor. Perhaps the answer to the original question of whether sisters are singular or similar, is: All of the above. There are all sorts of studies about siblings. But I know this much to be true. No matter how different or alike we are, my sister and I agree on this: We can’t imagine our lives without each other.

How could we? We’ve never known any different.

Jimmy Golden (left) and Tracey English

34

Tracey Tries...

Self Defense Tracey English and Marlyn Heger by

photography by

Trenton Bush

We’ve heard it 100 times before. One moment in time can change the trajectory of your life forever. And that is exactly what happened two years ago for Carrie Mugridge. What resulted from her frightening personal experience of being assaulted is a community wide initiative to provide free self-defense classes in Lawrence. Since that fateful night, Mugridge has partnered with Jimmy and Kelly Golden, owners of Prime Martial Arts, to provide people of all ages with the skills they need to prevent or escape from personal attacks.

“After I shared my story online, many women started contacting me, telling me their stories of when they were attacked,” Mugridge says. “It was overwhelming. It was such a heavy burden to carry. I had to make a change.” Mugridge met with Golden

35 Kelly Golden (Middle)

“women are definitely more of a target.”

-Kelly GOlden

about the possibility of offering classes to the public – free of charge – and he jumped at the opportunity. The first class took place in August 2018, and since then, they have offered 82 classes with more than 4,000 people in attendance. The main goal of the class is to provide effective tips and tricks to quell the staggering statistics that 1 in 5 women will be the victim of sexual assault and that 1 in 3 college women will experience some sort of sexual assault.

“Women are definitely more of a target,” says Golden, who is the chief instructor of the seminar. Walking with keys in their hands, being aware of surroundings, parking in well-lit areas and not being distracted by their phones are just a few of the ways women can prevent themselves from looking like a target.

Assailants are watching women to determine who will be an easy attack.” These classes are designed to teach attendees how to “stun and run” – stunning their assailant enough so they can get away. Classes are ongoing at both Prime Martial Arts locations, and those interested in taking a free course can call for information. Beginning in mid-January, Prime offers five free fight classes to any seminar attendee. Golden says that in order for people to really learn the techniques needed, repetition is key. So the more classes you attend, the better equipped you will be to ward off your assailant.

36

37

The Artful Conversation Wearing Positive Messages

by

Sharita Hutton Trenton Bush

photography by

38 Many of us have experienced that so called “ah-ha” moment at some point in our life. Whether it is around something as simple as lifestyle changes, home improvements, going back to school or how to conquer work and kids. For Beki Krueger, that “ah-ha” moment came sitting in silence while her 13-year-old studied next to her -- now her mission is to change the conversation about race though art. Krueger grew up in a small town in Missouri where her first interactions with minorities, specifically African Americans, was not because of a classmate.

“I can remember in high school there was a women’s prison in the area,” Krueger says. “As part of a ‘scared straight’ tactic, the school brought a female prisoner in handcuffs to tell us her story. I kept thinking, ‘I won’t end up like her because we don’t have gangs or ghettos and I am not black.’ It was so easy to be disconnected from her life, from that life.”

After college, Krueger, a Caucasian woman, moved to Kansas City. While more diverse, the place still left her feeling disconnected from what others might be experiencing in their day-today life. “I heard stories of Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and, closer to home, Michael Brown. Protests and riots began, then went quiet,” Krueger says. But everything changed on May 25 as Krueger watched the murder of George Floyd.

“The world responded, and I watched as peaceful protestors in my city were attacked with rubber bullets and tear gas. My heart was heavy and I was so confused. What have I missed? I have black friends, my children have best friends that are black, and I love all of them tremendously,” she recalls. Krueger felt this pressure come over her quickly.

“I submerged myself into learning. I read ‘White Fragility’ (Robin DiAngelo) and ‘Stamped from the Beginning’ (Ibram X. Kendi). There are no more excuses, we have to get it right this time,” she says. And for Kreuger, “getting it right” meant feeling educated on what others in the world are going through.

Then she realized her latest hobby could be used to spark conversation and change minds. “Prior to George Floyd, I started taking ceramic classes as a hobby. I found it encouraged my need to learn and create,” Krueger says. “Then COVID came and paused my studio time. I craved the need to create, and when my business was temporarily shut down, I needed a distraction.”

With the extra time, the love for art still burning inside of her, Krueger quickly turned this into a new passion and a new mission. “My work is inspired by conversations we, as women, need to have -- conversations with other women and with ourselves,” Krueger says. “To stimulate my own self talk, I find quotes that inspire me to be better than I was yesterday.

My ‘proud not loud’ line are subtle wearables that carry words of strong women warriors with us. My ‘change the subject’ line reminds us to change the negative stereotypes that plague those precious black and brown girls with big ideas.”

The next mission for Krueger was to find a way to make sure that while she changed the narrative, she was also doing something for organizations that have a similar vision. One of those was Young Women on the Move.

39

Started in 2005, Young Women on the Move teaches and motivates middle school and high school girls the attitudes, behaviors and skills necessary to lead a healthy life in every aspect.

The organization works closely with the KCK School District to help young girls with their problem-solving skills, views on life, mental health and much more.

“I chose Young Women on the Move for the work of building purpose in young women residing in the urban core of Kansas City, KS,” she says. “There have been generations of women who’ve lost opportunities due to the disadvantages that they inherit. This organization builds women of courage that will lead generations of change for other girls and young women of the future.”

All of Krueger’s accessories are porcelain with 14k white gold, fine silver and gemstone embellishments. Fifty percent of all sales go toward local women and girl-forward non-profits.

Current donations will go to Young Women on the Move.

“My work is inspired by conversations we, as women, need to have” - Beki Krueger

You can find Becky Krueger on Instagram: @bek_ceramics Etsy shop coming soon And you can find her work on First Fridays at: Bredin-Lee Art Gallery 1729 McGee St., Kansas City, Mo.

40

Focusing on the Strengths:

Living with ADHD Megan Stuke photography by Trenton Bush by

“I remember in 1974 I was on the ‘Romper Room’ television show in Wichita, and I kept speaking out loud and making comments or asking questions at the teacher, Miss Fran, in the middle of the taping,” says Kalli Sanders.Kalli was diagnosed with ADHD in 1976. She was in the first grade. “I was an ADHD pioneer!,” she explains. “I was a test case – a shining example of the connections between trauma and adult behavior.” One of her earliest memories is of that ‘Romper Room’ taping in 1974 when she was 4 years old, where she was scolded and shamed for being too vocal and not exercising enough self-restraint.

41

But What is ADHD? Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common neurodevelopmental disorder. It is characterized by difficulty paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors and hyperactivity, according the American Psychiatric Association. It affects both children and adults in about 10 percent of the population. There are challenges for women who struggle with ADHD, and possibly even greater ones for those who are parenting children with a diagnosis.

Sanders, now 52, believes that people misunderstand ADHD. She has struggled her whole life, sought treatment and pursued strategies to help her stay on track but admits that the disorder has affected her work, relationships and sense of self.

“I struggle with executive function skills, impulse control and unintentionally saying the wrong thing. I make lists and schedules, use organizational tools and tasks all the time, but I still haven’t found the perfect formula,” she says.

Reggie Jackson, LSCSW and owner of Satori Counseling Services in Overland Park and Lawrence, explains that all of this can lead co-workers, friends and family to believe she’s disengaged or lazy, when that’s quite the opposite of true. Often, people with ADHD are “processing information quickly and now have been stimulated by something new in their environment,” according to Jackson. “Some folks might think of three solutions to a problem. The individual with ADHD might think of 14 or 15. The mind is all over the place, and then they become paralyzed by the choices.”

Jackson, who has worked with hundreds of youth and adults with ADHD, and also struggles with it himself, is sympathetic.

“There is embarrassment and shame around (appearing disorganized or disinterested),” he says, “but we need to give ourselves grace. The self-criticism can be crippling.”

He says people might present as distracted in conversations or doodling in a meeting, but their minds are racing. Sometimes it looks like they don’t care, or they don’t make eye contact with a person during a conversation. People might feel like they are disengaged in personal and professional relationships if they don’t understand the root diagnosis.

CONTINUED P. 42 »

“We need to give ourselves grace.

The self-criticism can be crippling.”

- Reggie Jackson, LSCSW

Kalli Sanders

42

Know Thyself

Skills and Habits

For strategies, Jackson suggests that first, we have to know ourselves. This takes time – even years. List making and organizing has to come before starting in on a task, but even that won’t be very effective if we haven’t first sorted out our own personalities. Sanders has worked hard to find just the right job for her. “The position was created to fulfill a specific need, but the required skill set utilizes my strengths. The supervision style involves a lot of individual support and thoughtful communication and feedback, which makes a huge difference in how I function at work,” she says.

Of course, not everyone will be able to tailor-make a job, but knowing where our strengths are is primary, according to Jackson: “As we become more self-actualized, we become who we are, and we know what we need to do to be successful.”

Lean into strengths, he says, instead of always scrambling to improve on weaknesses.

For many folks with ADHD, this means a long and winding career road. People need to be able to try things out, see how they fit and also find the right workplace culture. Jobs that are flexible with hours are a good fit because ADHD often means energy and motivation come in bursts … and at odd hours.

Jackson says that it might look messy to the outsider, but the employer who can appreciate the value of the employee over the existing structure of the workplace will often find this employee to be extremely high-functioning, creative and adept at moving from one task to the other if they are given the freedom to do so as their own body and neurology demands.

Folks with ADHD often ruminate, which increases irritability and anxiety. Too many options and decisions can invoke a progress paralysis. Jackson says trying to reduce options is key. For example, when making a big purchase, preparing to leave the house or managing schedules, it’s important to try to reduce options and only think of three or four ways to complete a task instead of 20 ways. He recommends breathing exercises and meditation to calm the mind when “spinning” starts.

Jackson also says to reduce clutter in spaces with counters and desks and create parameters in which to work. Work to develop the discipline to follow through, he says, which often means repetition and taking things in smaller chunks.Often, people with ADHD will experience what Jackson calls “thought distortion.”

Polarizing, black-and-white thinking causes shame, guilt and mental spirals. Practicing seeing the gray areas is helpful.

One might believe, “If I don’t get an A, I’ve failed,” and forget that they had many other success and also that a B- might be a perfectly fine result. Positive self-talk and less attachment to outcome can be helpful mindsets to develop.

“As we become more self-actualized, we become who we are” - Kalli Sanders

Kalli Sanders

43

Parenting the Patient

What About Medicine?

In the best case scenario, children with ADHD learn to rely on their parents for assistance when they need it but also learn routines, systems and skills to keep themselves as independent as possible. Simplicity is key, and honest conversations, without shame or blame, can help families function safely and healthily. Jackson says that parents of children with ADHD should focus on presenting as calm, searching for solutions, and supporting the child.

Constant reprimands or consequences for mistakes, losing things or exhibiting other symptoms are counter-productive. Parents who show grace for emotional development and understand the mood-regulation challenges the child is experiencing will notice better, healthier responses from kids.

“Helping children know the times we don’t think we did our best doesn’t impact our value as a human being,” he says.

For example, we might tell a child, “Your room is a mess,” but what they hear is, “You are a mess.” It is important to make that distinction and help kids internalize it. Search for simple solutions and constant ways to show the child success and love.

Sanders’ daughter, Grace, age 12, also has an ADHD diagnosis. Medicine helps both Grace and Kalli, but they have to find other strategies as well. Sanders recalls early days of medication. “I think I was one of the first wave of kids that actually was prescribed Ritalin. I remember in second grade a kid asking me if I had taken my medicine that day. Everyone knew I was the only one,” she recalls.

Today, many children take medication for a variety of needs, and the stigma is reducing among peers, but parents still often resist the medication route for a variety of reasons.

Kiley Luckett is the school counselor at Schwegler Elementary School in Lawrence. She says in her experience, kids aren’t aware of other kids taking medicine -- and if they are, they don’t care.

CONTINUED P. 44 »

44 However, she says, “There is absolutely a negative connotation and stigma in the eyes of parents. There is lots of misinformation when it comes to medical treatment which hurts parents and kids in the long run.” Luckett likens it to other conditions: We wouldn’t refuse to give a diabetic child insulin or provide an inhaler for an asthmatic child. She is firm in her position that medication along with mental health/behavior support and quality instruction is the best tool for treating ADHD. “It’s sad,” she says, “because too often parents refuse until it becomes a behavior issue, where with proper medication and tools there would be more success.”Jackson agrees that some cases are best served with medication, particularly those that are more extreme or disruptive to daily life, but he also thinks many symptoms can be managed without a prescription. “Early intervention can ‘rewire’ us in many ways. We need to teach our brains a different pattern – the earlier the better,” he says.

The Big Picture “Being responsible for a lot of things is very taxing on people with ADHD,” Jackson says. “We can get it done, but there is an emotional impact to that.” Toni Detherage, an LSCSW therapist in Lawrence, who works with children and families, encourages people of all ages to “listen to the body.”

“Once we hear what our bodies are telling us, we can begin to answer the needs and rewire our behaviors,” she says. “Remember that what you are feeling is OK. Our feelings are our bodies sending us messages.” Patience, kindness and support seem to be the overriding messages that experts hope to share.

Today, Kalli and Grace Sanders are functioning at a high level and have found success even though it might look different than what some folks imagine. They have to find creative ways to make things work in spite of (and because of) their ADHD diagnoses. For them, it’s a lifelong process of self-reflection and adaptation. As Grace’s parent, Sanders wishes she could make life easier for her, but she knows it’s more important to teach her to navigate challenges and changes.

“I want her to learn to reflect, re-evaluate and roll with it,” Sanders says. They have to embrace their challenges and their strengths, advocate for what they need and adapt when the need arises. Sanders knows those skills are necessary for a good quality of life. And that good life? She has it.

Grace Sanders (left) and Kalli Sanders

45

46

MADE POSSIBLE BY:

Making a difference in a child’s life can be one of the most rewarding accomplishments for a Junior Achievement (JA) volunteer. We all have that one mentor who helped guide us to what we have become and accomplished throughout our lives, whether that was a parent, teacher, coach or volunteer role model who visited our classroom during our informative years. JA programs are delivered by corporate and community volunteers, providing relevant, hands-on experiences that give students from kindergarten through high school knowledge and skills in financial literacy, work readiness and entrepreneurship to make a difference in their lives.

Junior Achievement is the world’s largest organization dedicated to giving young people the knowledge and skills they need to own their economic success, plan for their future and make smart academic and economic choices.

Each year, Junior Achievement of Kansas reaches more than 28,000 students throughout the state of Kansas with nearly 6,000 of those students from the Lawrence school district.

These programs are provided through hands-on learning experiences that focus on financial literacy, entrepreneurship and work readiness. Junior Achievement programs supplement our schools’ curricula by providing important life skills, such as how to manage money, succeed in the workplace or start a business that creates jobs.

Due to COVID-19, we are anticipating our in-classroom, volunteer lead delivery model will need to change in the

schools we serve, as a result of the potential limiting of students and volunteers allowed access to school buildings. To meet this changing need, we have moved our current in-classroom model of delivering educational programming to a new hybrid and complete online “virtual” delivery method. The delivery will be different but the curriculum will still assist our teachers in meeting state-required education curriculum outcomes for their social studies economic units in each specific grade level.

In our new, ever-changing economy, Junior Achievement programs and volunteer role models will be needed more than ever to help our young people navigate through the many challenges they will face in a different economic environment. Our students are resilient and ready to take on these challenges. Junior Achievement of Kansas, along with our volunteer role models, will be there to help provide them with the tools and skills they need to prepare to succeed in a global economy.

If you are interested in volunteering in one of our JA programs or supporting Junior Achievement of Kansas with a donation, please email Debbie Harman, Douglas County District Director, at debbie@kansasja.org or visit us online at www.kansasja.org.

47

48

MADE POSSIBLE BY:

LAWRENCE, Kan. – Youth of the Year is an annual ceremony that celebrates the life-long relationships that kids develop with the Boys & Girls Club. Students who earn a Youth of the Year nomination embody the values of leadership service, academic excellence and healthy lifestyles.

They exemplify the powerful impact that the Boys & Girls Club has on kids in Lawrence. After the winner of the local competition is selected, they go on to represent Lawrence in the state competition. State winners advance to regional competitions and regional winners advance to the National Youth of the Year event.

But the process is much bigger than a solitary winner Youth of the Year honors the kids, families and mentors who grow up together within the Boys & Girls Club community in more than 4,000 local Clubs across the country. Many of the candidates who participate have been attending the Club since kindergarten. While the actual Youth of the Year process begins in September each year, these kids start their journey years earlier. Every story they share is different, one that is uniquely and completely their own. There is, however, a common theme to each. At some moment in their lives, a Boys & Girls Club mentor has stepped in and stepped up.

Whether that be to help them combat systemic racism, pass a class to remain eligible or feel comfortable and confident in their own skin, every mentor they encounter wants to help make their path less lonely, less overwhelming.

Boys & Girls Club of Lawrence has produced the Kansas Youth of the Year in five of the last nine years, most recently being Ruth Gathunguri in 2019 and 2018. In a perfect symbol of how the Youth of the Year program becomes so near and dear to our hearts, Gathunguri raved about her own mentors as she won consecutive Kansas honors, while going on to become a mentor herself. She is now a YOY mentor to one of the 2021 candidates.

Aside from the brave candidates and their dedicated mentors, the Youth of the Year program greatly benefits from the support of the Lawrence community. Specifically, the title sponsor, Mid America Bank, which has been the presenting sponsor for the last three years. Dave Hill, Andrew Madl and their team has stood steadfast by the program, even in the wake of COVID-19. Speaking of the pandemic, the Coronavirus will keep Boys & Girls Club from hosting this year’s annual event with an in-person audience. But the ceremony will absolutely happen.

The 2021 Youth of the Year ceremony will take place at 7 p.m. Jan. 28 on Facebook Live (Facebook.com/bgclk) The upcoming Lawrence celebration will feature Azura Clark, Akosua Danso, Avion Nelson and Pranav Vogeti.

49

50

CHILI NIGHTS AHEAD Story and Recipe By Jayni Carey photography by Trenton Bush

51

As winter overtakes us with bitter cold nights, and possibly ice and snow, what’s more satisfying than to curl up in front of the fireplace with a warm, beautiful bowl of spicy, fragrant chili?

I’m a big fan of chili. Wherever the weather turns cool, it seems that region has developed its own delicious variation. In the Southwest, it’s all about fresh or dried chiles and meat. In the Midwest, we like to add beans, and further east in Cincinnati “5-way” means they add it all, including cheese and spaghetti!

Lately, I find myself craving a vegetarian version, one loaded with robust chile flavor but without the addition of meat. A vegetable and bean chili hits just the right note for me. A brilliant array of colorful vegetables and a blend of three kinds of beans brighten up this one-bowl meal. The spices and herbs -- chile powder, cumin, smoked Spanish paprika, cinnamon, clove, crushed red pepper, oregano and bay leaf -- give the chili richness, depth and warmth to combat the freezing temperatures outside.

This vegetarian chili is fast and easy to make.

Simply cook up a combination of onion, garlic, yellow squash, carrots, bell peppers and chopped green chiles. Stir in the spices and herbs, then cook them for a

minute or two to intensify their flavors before adding diced tomatoes. Wind up the recipe with the addition of black, red and pinto beans to add heartiness to the chili. Gently simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, and it’s ready to serve.

Vegetable-Bean Chili handles substitutions easily.

Any color combination of bell peppers works, but I use green, red, yellow and orange because I want the chili to be colorful, plus bring different levels of sweetness to the mix. Though you certainly could use any type of beans, I use three kinds to enliven it even more. Zucchini can step in for the yellow squash, and instead of canned green chiles, roast and peel a fresh green chile, or for a little more heat, add a jalapeño or two.For those who like to stack their chili bowl with extra goodies, pump up the fun by presenting a tray of toppings to choose from such as sour cream, grated cheddar or pepper jack cheese, fresh cilantro, lime wedges and tortilla chips. Or, keep it simple by serving a basket of warm corn muffins with softened butter.

Pair this satisfying chili with a glass of cold beer and enjoy the cold nights ahead.

CONTINUED P. 52 »

VEGETABLE-BEAN CHILI

52

Vegetable-Bean Chili Ingredients 1 ½ cups onion, chopped 2-3 garlic cloves, finely chopped 2 yellow squash (6 ounces each), sliced into ¼-inch rounds 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped, ½-inch dice 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped, ½-inch dice 1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and chopped, ½-inch dice 1 orange bell pepper, seeded and chopped, ½-inch dice 2 medium carrots (1 cup), peeled and chopped, ¼-inch dice 1 4-ounce can chopped green chiles (hot or mild) 2 tablespoons mild to medium New Mexico red chile powder 2 teaspoons cumin seeds, coarsely ground

2 teaspoons smoked Spanish paprika (sweet/dulce) ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon ¼ teaspoon ground clove ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper, or more to taste 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 bay leaf 1 teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon freshly-ground black pepper 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes 1 15-ounce can black beans, rinsed and drained 1 15-ounce can red beans, undrained 1 15-ounce can pinto beans, undrained

*Toppings or accompaniments: sour cream, grated cheddar or pepper jack cheese, fresh cilantro, lime wedges, tortilla chips, warm corn muffins with butter.

53

Instructions Heat the olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium-low heat. Stir in the chopped onion and cook until golden, about 8 minutes. Add the squash and garlic and cook just until the squash is barely tender, about 5 minutes more.

Add the chopped peppers, carrots and green chiles. Cook, stirring occasionally until the peppers begin to soften, about 5 minutes.

Add the chile powder, crushed cumin seed, smoked paprika, cinnamon, clove, crushed red pepper, oregano, bay leaf, salt and pepper. Stir gently and cook for 1 to 2 minutes more.

Add the canned tomatoes. Stir in the rinsed and drained black beans and the undrained red beans and pinto beans. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium-high heat, reduce the heat to low and simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Serve the chili with toppings or accompaniments of choice. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Bon Appétit.

54

Let the Sun Shine by

Julie Dunlap // photography by Trenton Bush K photography /vvvv Photo Submissions by Toni

headshot by third

Photography by Toni Brou

Photography by Toni Brou

Sometimes the sun rises in the most unexpected places. Lawrence artist Toni Brou discovered this bright truth during the darkest days of her life, when Brou found herself sculpting suns out of clay as a reminder that the sun would always rise.

“I wasn’t thinking about the finished product,” Brou recalls. “It was just therapeutic to squish clay into little suns.”

These items now shine across the country, including lighting up episodes of “CBS Sunday Morning,” but their first rays are rooted in the heart of Kansas.

Brou grew up just outside of Dodge City, the youngest of five in a family that thrived on resourcefulness. She describes her parents, raised during the Great Depression, as “makers” who instilled the value of creative self-sufficiency in their children. Her father enjoyed turning what some might consider junk into art. When her brothers grew well over six feet tall, her sister figured out she could repurpose two pairs of jeans, transferring extra length from one pair to the other and altering the original pair into shorts to clothe the growing boys.

55 This creativity and outside-the-box thinking that infused Brou’s upbringing ignited her desire to become an artist from the time she was five years old. Brou followed her dream, graduating from the University of Kansas with a degree in illustration and graphic design, and began working as a graphic designer. She met her husband, Marcel Kouadio Brou, in Lawrence, and the couple had three boys together.

Within a short period of time, however, Brou’s husband and father both became terminally ill. Her beloved father passed away in 1999, the same week she was due to deliver her third son. “Dad’s funeral was on my due date, and I wasn’t able to travel to Dodge (City) for it, so I decided the best way to honor him was to spend the day making stuff,” Brou says.

Inspired by her father’s ability to turn random objects into art, she took inventory of the more unconventional media around her and was immediately drawn to a hubcap.

“I don’t know why I happened to have a hubcap, but it became the first sun I made,” she says. On that day, Brou says, “The sun really became art.” Brou continued to turn toward the sun as her husband’s battle with cancer wore on for another year. By the time he passed away, nearly exactly one year after her father had, Brou began to reevaluate her career.

“The boys were 5, 2 and 1,” she says of her sons Frank, Fred, and Freeman, now in their 20s. While she transitioned to working in graphic design from home, avoiding the cost of daycare for three kids, Brou decided to invest more time in her own studio, nurturing both her grieving soul and her childhood dream of earning a living as an artist.

Brou spent the next decade sculpting, painting, illustrating and creating numerous pieces of meaningful art. She started showing and selling her works at local art and craft fairs, networking with fellow artists to expand her reach to galleries in Green Bay, Birmingham, and Atlanta. In 2011, a friend of Brou’s suggested she submit her suns to producers at “CBS Sunday Morning,” which regularly features suns created by artists around the country. Brou had not considered this before, but her friend was insistent.

“She said, ‘I’ve assigned myself to check on you to make sure you do this,’” Brou chuckles. She knew the only way to get her friend off of her back was to compile a CD with her work and send it in.“(CBS) got back with me right away,” she says, still surprised at the rapid response. This exposure lit the way for a much broader audience. Brou’s suns have since appeared on two dozen episodes as the show fades to commercial, and more opportunity for partnership CONTINUED P. 56 »

“I don’t know why I happened to have a hubcap, but it became the first sun I Made.”

56

Photography by Toni Brou

with CBS is on the horizon, including a feature in their upcoming 2022 calendar.

Brou now markets her work on her own, no longer relying on galleries for sales and giving her the chance to befriend supporters from California to New Hampshire. Much like the impact from the rising of the sun to its setting, Brou’s art connects with all points in a person’s life. “I’ve had people who want to honor the birth of a new baby with art,” Brou says.

“One person wanted to commission me to put a sun on top of a container for (a loved one’s) ashes.”

She adds, “I think it’s really an honor when my art is part of their life from start to finish. If it makes somebody forget about the stress of the day for a minute and say, ‘This makes me happy,’ that just means everything to me.”

“I think it’s an honor when my art is part of their life from start to finish.”

57

Where to find Brou’s suns, even on a cloudy day: Online www.ToniBrou.com On TV “CBS Sunday Morning” On YouTube Toni Brou partnered with Lawrence art teacher Hannah Hurst as a guest artist on Episode 7 of Hurst’s popular “The Art Teacher in Quarantine” series on YouTube.

58

THE LAST WORD.. by

Cameron Wood

WHAT IS A TV SHOW OR BOOK THAT YOU HAVE BEEN RECOMMENDING TO FRIENDS LATELY?

SEANA KIMZEY “I have a slight addiction with binge watching the latest mini-series that are on Hulu, Netflix or Amazon Prime. ‘The Queen’s Gambit,’ on Netflix, is a must-see.

You don’t need to be a chess expert to enjoy, and you may find yourself wanting a chess set by the end. The forward vision and analytical mindset of the main character is mesmerizing, and the evolution of her fashion is this self-proclaimed fashionista’s passion.”

HEATHER NOBLE “I’m currently reading Eckart Tolle’s book ‘The Power of Now.’ With this crazy world we are living in, it helps put everything in perspective. It’s a road map on how to live in the present and not drown yourself in planning too much and worrying. “

KARLA LETORNOU “‘Schitt’s Creek.’ We love this show right now because it is light-hearted and hilarious, which is something we all could use!”

59

60