Getting Started With New: The Male Chastity Lifestyle...

Getting Started With New: The Male Chastity Lifestyle In this very short introductory guide to male chastity I want to talk about some of the most pressing and important issues about the lifestyle from the position of someone new to it.

I'm doing this now because when I first started along this journey, I frequently found I was lost, confused, bewildered and even a little scared by the sheer quantity of inconsistent, contradictory, and, in my opinion, damaging material you're likely to come across.

So in this mini Guide, I'll simply sum up the main issues but still cover them in enough depth to get you started.

Start at the Beginning Before we begin, it's vital we grasp the fact that having a chastity husband is not new, not "bad", and really is nothing for you to worry over, whether you're a man who's coming to terms with his needs (and perhaps even struggling with them), or a woman whose man has revealed his interest in male chastity to you and you're seeking advice on the subject.

First, let's think about what we usually mean when we talk about chastity. In everyday life we tend to treat chastity and celibacy as being equivalent. In this case, though, in this brief male chastity guide we'll assume there are a few significant differences: Chastity: what we almost always mean is general sexual control and orgasm denial. So what we're not recommending is simply not having sex or enjoying sexual activity. Quite the reverse: couples who embrace a male chastity lifestyle almost always find they are not only enjoying increased sexual activity, but find themselves actually enjoying it far more than they ever thought they could.

What we are talking about is the wife assuming control of her lover's releases and not permitting him to indulge in them unless she says he can, even if she may be getting him to satisfy her in other ways not involving penetrative sex; or even if they are making love, she is not permitting him to orgasm.

As you go through this male chastity guide, you'll see why a man would desire this, why you would want to give it to him, and the advantages for both of you.

Celibacy, on the other hand, is where you just don't have sexual activity at all, perhaps because you're without a partner, or you're unable to have sexual relations for whatever reasons, or you've taken a vow of celibacy. Or perhaps there is some other motive we can't even begin to imagine.

Interestingly, someone who's celibate may well have more orgasms than someone who's living the male chastity lifestyle, just because a celibate man has the opportunity to masturbate, yet a chaste male doesn't.

I'll have more to say about celibacy further down and why, if you're celibate yet still in a relationship, male chastity might possibly not be right for you.

Whom Is Male Chastity Right For? I'll go out on a limb and say practically any fundamentally sound relationship can benefit from male chastity, and that includes gay couples (perhaps surprisingly!). The reasons are at the same time

both complex and simple as you'll see in this male chastity guide.

In fact I'll edge out even further on the limb and say if you're typical healthy woman or homosexual man and you enjoy a healthy sex-life (or have previously) and you're not laughably prudish about sex, or painfully shy, then... you've most likely already enjoyed male chastity play.

Why do I say such a thing?

Because male chastity covers a range, from short sessions of orgasm denial and teasing at one end of the scale, all the way to unending orgasm denial at the other (I'll say a little more about this later in this brief male chastity guide). And most men and women, if not every man and woman, has, at some time, delighted in teasing their partner at some point by delaying orgasm even if only for a few minutes.

And if you've experienced that... then... congratulations!

You've already experienced male chastity.

And you both loved it, right? Even if he complained in the most delicious way at the time.

Who WON'T Gain from Male Chastity?

If you're in a relationship and you really don't like each other (or even if only one of you doesn't like the other), and you're living in joint celibacy by choice because you simply can't stand the thought of him touching you (it generally is women who end up feeling this way, unfortunately), then besides the comments I have written below, this male chastity guide won't be much help to you.

If you're in this circumstance and your lover has approached you with an idea of embracing a male chastity lifestyle and you feel your heart fluttering with joy because you perhaps see it as a marvellous way of ensuring you don't have to have any kind of sexual contact with him ever again... then I think you're making a gigantic blunder if you move forward with it.

Because he's doing this because he has a desire for greater sex with you, rather than less!

And if you're a man reading this hoping it's likely to help rekindle the ashes of a burned out marriage, the same comments apply: the chances are it's just not going to work. Quite the reverse: it's going to hurt you both a lot more in the end.

If you can see you and your partner and your own marriage in these few paragraphs, then I suggest you stop reading this male chastity guide and instead think seriously about professional relationship counselling, and ultimately be prepared to end it so both of you can then move on with the rest of of your lives.

Why Would You Want The Male Chastity Lifestyle?

Ultimately this brief male chastity guide is about pointing you in the right direction to unlock the strategies and techniques for dramatically improving your relationship by increasing the affection you feel for one another, making you grow even closer together, and allowing you to nurture a much richer, deeper and more loving understanding of each other than you presently have.

Provided your underlying marriage is sound and your love for one another remains strong, even if

the fires of lust are not now burning quite as they have before, male chastity is definitely something you can safely consider at least having a go at.

How To Start With The Male Chastity Lifestyle There is but one reason for male chastity: and that is to improve your relationship in all areas and, as a result, make everything else in your life richer and more rewarding, too.

And because of that it's crucial to realise no matter which way you face it, what you do or how you decide to live the male chastity lifestyle, so long as it's working for you both, then that's all you should care about.

You might consider that's an unusual statement for me to make; but understand one of the reasons I have written this male chastity guide is there is so little good information about that's not tainted with nonsense, fantasy and downright bad ideas.

Now, the point to get started with male chastity is... to start at the very beginning.

It's tempting to dive straight in at the deep-end by rushing out and getting a chastity device and hoping you can snap it shut and remain locked for a month or two. And you will for sure read stories exactly like that all over the Internet.

And they're lies.

No, I can't prove this and you are free to believe them if you like, but no one with authentic real-life experience of male chastity will give them the smallest bit of credibility.

The tell-tales that they're only fantasy are many and varied, but please, just for now, in this male chastity guide, believe me, male chastity is the same as any other side of your relationship: you don't want to rush into it and at best be disappointed and at worst unnecessarily spoil something wonderful you wouldn't have ruined if you'd just been a bit more thoughtful.

So, let's assume at this time you're sitting reading this male chastity guide together or at least you're both at a point where you're discussing a male chastity lifestyle as something you're open to exploring (there are many simple, non-threatening and low-key ways to bring it up with your spouse whether you're a man or a woman, but one easy way I share with you in another article is to use male chastity stories).

But, let's get on with the practicalities.

First, begin with some gentle chastity play. Agree in advance you expect him to please you any way he can think of, but make sure he knows you won't allow him to make love to you and he'll have to engage his imagination.

Massage is a fabulous way to begin, and then remind him he has fingers and a tongue (engage your imagination, too... you're reading a male chastity guide not a sex manual!).

The first few times it may be difficult because it's new territory for you both. Make him a promise you'll make love to him again the next morning and allow him release if he satisfies you tonight. That way he's not got too long to wait and is unlikely to get huffy (he won't plan to, but male chastity is all new to him, too).

After a few times you can add to the time you're going to make him wait a little: perhaps the next night, or the weekend.

If this works well and both of you feel comfortable with the next stage, you can buy a basic chastity belt. Now, you'll see literally thousands of these things available and you can pay anything from ?90 for a simple plastic device to over ?1,000 for a custom-made made-to-measure shiny steel chastity belt.

I recommend in this male chastity guide you decide on one that's simple and not too pricey, like the plastic devices generally are, and see how it suits you. In my own experience with simple play, the plastic device was fine but it didn't suit us at all when it came to long-term wear. However, some people find them acceptable and effective for long-term wear.

All you can do is see how it suits you.

Just don't expect too much, too quickly.

Even if his device is not uncomfortable you might find when he gets really turned on it is extremely uncomfortable and even agonising for him, and even though some women say that's a suitable "punishment", that's not something I'm interested in - this is a male chastity guide, not a guide for dominant women! I want to deny his orgasm and have him wanting me like crazy, not suffering from squashed, sore and swollen balls!

In time, you're almost certainly going to feel you want to take this further. Now, there are no hard and fast rules about this and it's absolutely important to decide what suits you and your spouse instead of trying to conform to what so many people in the "community" will demand you "ought to" do. Believe me, some can get quite nasty if you don't live your life and treat your husband or lover how they think he has to be treated.

In the end you'll reach a level at which you feel comfortable, and to some extent that is going to determine the kind of device you ultimately end up with. Generally, in this male chastity guide, I'd recommend you get the most expensive device or belt you can afford, because in my experience there's nothing quite as frustrating as a device you have to remove because it's unsuitable for wearing for the period you want him to wear it!

Two Last Pieces of Advice As I said previously, you'll eventually discover what works best for you both and that's the only thing you want to worry about.

However, I want to make two points in this male chastity guide which I consider to be "universals", meaning everyone I've ever talked who has successfully incorporated male chastity into their marriage agrees with me.

First, bear in mind male chastity is meant to be pleasurable for you both. I know there's an element of teasing in it but you have to be the judge of when his "no" means "yes", and when "no" actually does mean "no".

The second point is you must be firm. Yes, it seems contradictory to what I've just said, but you must remember he has asked for this, or he's at least consented to it if the idea is yours.

In truth, he wants you to be firm with him. He might want to orgasm but he craves you to deny it.

I can't stress this enough in any male chastity guide.

As an, my husband, John, whom I keep in incredibly rigid male chastity and orgasm denial, often for months on end, will sometimes beg me not to let him come because the feeling of being "in the zone" is so incredibly pleasurable.

More to the point, when it does become too overwhelming and he begs to come, if I refuse (and under no circumstances will I give in if he's begging for it... that's non-negotiable), then even though he moans and groans at the time... after he is grateful to me for being so strong and uncompromising.

At the start I would regularly cave in... and he always said to me afterwards I shouldn't have done.

Men! To Sum Up The male chastity lifestyle is exciting, satisfying and remarkably rewarding for both you and your lover.

Nevertheless like any lifestyle, it takes some thought and perseverance to get it exactly right. Most important of all is it's your life and you should do things your way.

By: Sarah Jameson Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Sarah Jameson, creator and writer of the renowned ">Male Chastity Blog is a freelance writer and happily married woman who first unlocked the secrets of uncompromising male chastity some 2 1/2 years ago. She now keeps her lover, John, in inflexible male chastity in a stainless-steel chastity belt.

You can claim your own copy of Sarah's FREE male chastity guide "Why He Wants You To Say 'No!'" from her Blog.

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