ISSUE 8 – JULY/AUGUST 2015 – FREE
Stanton’s Castle Bookshop Ludlow’s Battle of Britain hero: Laurie Whitbread Trying tai ji Being pernickety about Ludlow Solar farm debate Canadian fiction Proposed parlour pub Tiananmen Square to Market Square
“Mr P feels that some places have tried to establish themselves on the back of Ludlow’s reputation, without really having a clue what they’re doing” AMATEUR reviewers on Trip Advisor aside, restaurant critics have the not-always-enviable job of quaffing wine and picking their way through lamb, langoustine and lobster in a spirit of critical pleasure for our benefit. Do we trust the reviews we read? On the whole, yes. After all, who wants to have to send back a meal that looks and tastes as if it’s been scraped out of the bin and garnished with a sprig of parsley? Or leave an establishment 2lbs fatter and £50 poorer as a result of a bad lunch? It’s in this spirit of public service, then, that Mr Pernickety’s Independent Guide to the Ancient and Gastronomic Borough of Ludlow exists. Or at least, that’s the theory. In reality, if his robust views are anything to go by, one suspects that the mysterious Mr P (whose identity still remains a closely-guarded secret) enjoys writing it far too much for his opinions to be strictly for the public
benefit. Ludlow Ledger, reacting to information received, tracked down the elusive Mr P and, on your behalf, sought his broader views on the gastronomic state of our town. Often outspoken, but frequently very funny, Mr P’s guide to the eateries and watering holes of Ludlow, Hay-on-Wye and the Marches generally (as published monthly in the ubiquitous Broadsheep), resulted in a ban on the guide’s sale in Hay-on-Wye, yet fortunately a more tolerant attitude has prevailed here in Ludlow. So much so, that the town has even had a pie named after him – The Mr Pernickety Pie (conceived by Floyd Wilson-Lloyd, landlord of the Church Inn) is described as ‘A Pie Inebriated with the Exuberance of its own Verbosity; crammed full of its own self-importance, served with a little sauce, a slice of tautology, and seasoned with invective, hyperbole, vituperation, paradiastole, litotes,
and pontification, served with a PUFF pastry lid.’ They are, however, still friends; indeed Mr P found the description rather amusing. So, although it has to be said that while his reviews on local eateries are admirably detailed on the cuisine, ambience and service, so too might they not be to everyone’s taste, thanks to Mr P having a critical persona not unlike that of the late Michael Winner in his Sunday Times restaurant review column. To wit, Mr P is generally accompanied by his Lovely Companion (the LC), and harbours pet hates which include: being ordered to “Enjoy!” by waiting staff, large pub chains, laminated menus, clumpy furniture, gastropubs, electric fires masquerading as log fires, unedifying lighting, shiny ties, inappropriate music, pub carpets, lager, ‘edifice abuse’ (the ruination of once fine buildings), microwaves, heavy metal played in
– www.ludlowledger.co.uk –
tea-shops, and football on SKY TV. You get the drift. Prior reviews read: “Mr P is not so out of touch of the raw realities of the modern world that he doesn’t know there are some young folk who like to go out on a Saturday night to drink large quantities of lager and then let it go. However, Mr P doesn’t wish to be around to see, hear or smell the event.” Or the Bull Hotel: “If your idea of an enjoyable visit to a pub is to stand in a smelly bar waiting to be served vile Banks’s Bitter by badly-dressed staff, this place could be your Nirvana.” Many of Ludlow’s other food and drink destinations – from cafés to hotels, pubs to restaurants – fare no better... a town centre café was described in the original guide as: “Having the general appearance of a municipal loo.... this establishment is a basic down-to-earth, fat-andwheat-based eatery – you could say
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