Lovehoney pulls back the covers on sexual wellness and intimacy at every stage of motherhood
Background Welcome to the Lovehoney Mama Sutra...
As Australia’s leading expert in sexual wellness, Lovehoney believes that pleasure, intimacy, and self-care should be part of every stage of lifeincluding motherhood.
Motherhood transforms every aspect of life - including our relationship with sex and intimacy. Yet, pre and postnatal sex remains a taboo topic. That’s why we have created The Lovehoney Mama Sutra eBook. Here to pull back the covers on a topic that’s all too often surrounded by silence, stigma, or misinformation.
With motherhood comes a whirlwind of changes - physically, emotionally, and in our relationships. Yet, these experiences are rarely discussed, acknowledged, or truly understood - whether that’s in the media, among loved ones, or even with our partners. Motherhood is a deeply personal journey that can be both beautiful and overwhelming at the same time.
Whether it’s navigating postpartum recovery, rediscovering intimacy after childbirth, adjusting to a changing body, or simply seeking reassurance that what you’re feeling is normal - you’re in the right place.
A one-stop resource for expert guidance and real-life perspectives on sexual wellbeing throughout every phase of motherhood, Lovehoney has teamed up with leading campaigner, broadcaster and writer, Anna Whitehouse, aka Mother Pukka, to break the silence on the topic, bringing together insights from top sexual health and relationship experts alongside real stories from three incredible mums at various stages of motherhood.
Let’s open up the conversation, break the taboos, and make space for every mum to feel informed, empowered, and supported when it comes to their sexual wellbeing. Because motherhood and pleasure are not mutually exclusive – and this is a conversation that’s long overdue.
Foreword by Cheryl Fagan
Sexologist, Founder of On Top, author and mother
Talking about sex after having a baby can feel... complicated. Maybe even a bit taboo. Before kids, intimacy might have been full of spark - impulsive kisses, lacy underwear, and a sense of ease. Then motherhood arrives, and suddenly everything shifts. You’re navigating life on a few hours of sleep, dealing with body changes you never expected, and wondering when - or if - you’ll ever feel sexy again.
Hi, I’m Cheryl Fagan - founder of On Top, mother to a beautiful 18 month-old, and someone who knows just how real that struggle can be. That’s why I am so passionate about joining forces with Lovehoney. Because let’s be honest: not enough people are talking about how sex and intimacy change after having children. And more importantly, how they can evolve into something just as powerful and just different.
The first time I tried to be intimate after giving birth, I felt like a stranger in my own skin. My body had done something miraculous, but it also felt completely unfamiliar. My breasts now had a job. My libido? Missing in action. I wasn’t sure where to even begin. For me personally, it was a conscious decision to prioritise this part of my life and relationship. I began carving out time each week for intimacy, not with pressure or a set outcome in mind, but simply as an invitation to see where connection could take us. Clear communication with my partner helped us align expectations, and by being patient with one another, this season became a special opportunity to gently reconnect.
What no one tells you is that intimacy after birth isn’t just physical, it’s emotional, too. The mental load of new motherhood is enormous, and touch can feel really overwhelming. Your sense of self can feel distant. You find yourself wondering if anyone else feels this way. (Spoiler: they do.)
Postpartum is an invitation to return to our bodies with curiosity, self-acceptance, and loving kindness. As new mothers, our needs and desires may shift. This season invites a deeper listening: to our desires, to our changing needs, and to the unconscious truths that sexuality can awaken. Rather than something that depletes, sex can become something that fuels us - one that nourishes and awakens us.
People often glamorise pregnancy and the early days with a baby, but skip over the messy, beautiful, complicated middle. The part where desire flickers instead of roars. Where a cuddle on the couch can feel more intimate than anything else. Where you're slowly getting reacquainted with yourself.
And then there’s the bigger issue: society doesn’t always permit mums to be sexual beings. Before motherhood, women are expected to be sensual, playful, and desirable. But afterwards, it’s as if that part of us is put in storage, like we’re only allowed to be nurturing, not erotic. But motherhood and sexuality aren’t opposites. You’re still you. You haven’t lost that spark - it just needs space to breathe again.
I created this eBook with Lovehoney to offer reassurance, not pressure. There’s no timeline and no “normal” to return to. You get to decide what intimacy looks like now. Whether you're feeling ready to dive back in or still navigating what feels right, it’s all valid.
If you’re reading this, it’s likely because you relate. You’re going through this or have been through this, and you’re not alone. Let go of the need to rush. A shared laugh, a soft kiss, slipping into something that makes you feel good - those are all forms of intimacy. So is simply taking a moment to care for yourself. You’ve been through a lot. Your body is worthy of kindness, your mind of gentleness, and your pleasure of being prioritised.
So if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Will I ever feel like me again?” - know this: yes, you will. It may not be exactly how it was before, and that’s okay. This isn’t about going backwards. It’s about discovering something new. And it might just be even better.
Cheryl Fagan
The Mama Sutra: Pregnancy
Pregnancy brings a whirlwind of changes, and that includes shifts in sexual desire. Some people find themselves feeling more connected to their bodies and eager for intimacy, while others experience a drop in libido.
And this can change throughout the journey – with studies showing that, generally, people see a decline in sexual intercourse in the first trimester, a gradual increase during the second, and then a steady drop in libido towards the end of pregnancy. But what’s clear is that there’s no ‘normal’ way to feel and everyone’s journey is unique.
Sex during pregnancy can also require some adjustments. As the body changes, certain positions may become uncomfortable, and physical symptoms like nausea, fatigue, or soreness can impact intimacy. However, with a little creativity and communication, many couples find ways to maintain closeness, whether through physical intimacy or other forms of connection.
This chapter explores the realities of sex during pregnancy. From common concerns to practical tips, it provides guidance for navigating intimacy during this transformative time.
Whether experiencing a surge in desire, a dip in interest, or something in between, understanding these changes can help mothers-to-be and couples maintain a healthy, connected approach to intimacy.
What’s going on with the body during pregnancy?
Understanding the body's changes during pregnancy can help explain shifts in sexual desire and intimacy. However, it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique and may not follow a standard path. While this information explores the biological changes and their potential impact on sexual desire during pregnancy, it is not a definitive guide. Some women may maintain a high libido throughout, while others experience consistently low desire. Libido can also vary from one pregnancy to another.
It’s completely normal to experience these changes, as the body focuses on the critical early stages of pregnancy. While the first trimester may be challenging for some in terms of libido, these shifts are temporary and often ease as the pregnancy progresses.
The first trimester
Navigating the early storm: Hormonal shifts and emotional adjustments
During the first trimester (weeks 1 to 12) of pregnancy, a woman's body undergoes significant hormonal changes as levels of hCG, oestrogen, and progesterone rise rapidly. These changes often trigger a variety of early pregnancy symptoms. Morning sickness, fatigue, and heightened sensitivity in the breasts and genitals are common as the body adjusts to the new hormonal environment. The surge in these hormones is essential for supporting the growing baby, but it can also leave women feeling physically drained and emotionally vulnerable.
As a result, many women experience a dip in libido during this time. The combination of nausea, constant tiredness, and emotional shifts that accompany pregnancy, can reduce interest in intimacy.
The second trimester
A time of renewal: Rediscovering energy and intimacy
In the second trimester (weeks 13 to 26), many women begin to feel a sense of relief as some of the early pregnancy symptoms subside. Morning sickness typically fades, and energy levels start to rise, making this period feel like a more comfortable phase. Hormonal changes continue to support the growing baby, and the body adapts, with the abdomen expanding to accommodate the developing foetus. Breasts may remain tender or even grow, and women may notice increased blood flow, causing their skin to glow and hair to become thicker.
Libido during the second trimester often sees a resurgence for many women. As fatigue lessens and nausea subsides, many experience a boost in sexual desire. The increase in lubrication, along with heightened sensitivity, makes intimacy feel more pleasurable. This period is often marked by greater sexual arousal, with many women feeling their most connected to their bodies, making the second trimester a time of increased intimacy and physical enjoyment.
The third trimester
Preparing for the final stretch: Emotional bonds and physical discomforts
In the third trimester (weeks 27 to 40), the body prepares for labour and delivery, with significant hormonal changes occurring. As pregnancy progresses, oxytocin levels rise in preparation for childbirth. Known as the "bonding hormone," oxytocin helps stimulate uterine contractions and fosters emotional connections, both with the baby and between partners. This surge in oxytocin can deepen the emotional bond as the couple anticipates the arrival of their baby.
However, the physical discomforts of the third trimester, such as a growing belly, back pain, and increased fatigue, can lower libido. This can make sexual activity less appealing for some women. Despite the decrease in sexual desire, emotional intimacy often deepens during this period. The anticipation of childbirth, along with the physical closeness of the relationship, fosters a stronger emotional connection between partners as they prepare for the new arrival. The third trimester becomes a time to nurture the emotional bond, even as physical intimacy becomes less frequent.
The Hornometer Red indicates an increased libido and more sexual desire
It’s really common for couples to worry that sex might harm the baby, but in a healthy pregnancy, this simply isn’t true. The baby is well protected by the amniotic sac, the uterus, and a thick mucus plug in the cervix.
Unless a healthcare provider advises against it due to specific complications, sex is completely safe throughout pregnancy.
Sarah
Mulindwa,
Sexual Health & Wellness Expert & Sexual Health Nurse
The third trimester
The third trimester brings its own set of challenges as physical discomforts like back pain, restless leg syndrome, and the growing belly may make traditional sexual activity feel less appealing. Use this time as an opportunity to focus more on emotional connection and intimacy through touch, cuddling, or even shared laughter. Some couples find that mutual masturbation or other forms of non-penetrative intimacy help maintain closeness without discomfort.
As you prepare for childbirth, this is a good time to lean on each other emotionally, talk about your upcoming transition into parenthood, and deepen the bond in ways that don’t always involve sex but still feel deeply intimate.
It’s a commonly held belief that sex can bring on labour for those looking to induce themselves naturally.
According to Sarah Mulindwa, Lovehoney’s Sexual Health & Wellness Expert & Sexual Health Nurse, “Despite it being a commonly held view, there isn't much evidence to suggest having sex brings on labour. However, orgasms release oxytocin, which can cause uterine contractions. Other labour induction methods to try with your partner include nipple stimulation, which can increase oxytocin levels."
Some ‘positions to consider’…
Spooning
In the spooning position, both partners lie on their sides, with the giving partner behind the receiving partner, aligning their bodies in a close embrace. This position allows for gentle penetration. Spooning is ideal during the third trimester as it provides maximum comfort and minimal strain on the belly. It reduces pressure on the abdomen and allows for slow, gentle movements that can accommodate the bump. The position fosters closeness, making it easier to maintain intimacy without causing discomfort.
Foot and Hand Massages
The third trimester often brings swelling and discomfort, making gentle foot and hand massages a simple yet powerful act of care. Whether massaging your own hands and feet with a nourishing oil or having a partner do it for you, this ritual encourages relaxation and mindfulness. The slow, intentional touch is a way of expressing love to yourself or receiving it from your partner, creating an intimate and grounding experience.
Bathing
Turning a bath into a loving ritual transforms a daily act into something deeply soothing. Adding elements like Epsom salts, essential oils (pregnancy-safe choices like lavender), soft candlelight, and calming music creates a sanctuary for self-connection. Taking the time to soak, breathe, and reflect on the transformation your body is going through can be a profound act of self-love. A partner can support by preparing the bath or sitting nearby to share in the peaceful moment together.
I spent months feeling guilty, like I was letting myself and my relationship down, when in reality, my body was just doing what it needed. If more people shared their experiences, maybe we wouldn’t feel so lost, so unsure of what’s ‘normal.’
What I do know is that intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about patience, small acts of love, and adapting when things change.
When I got pregnant the first time, my interest in sex completely dropped off. Despite feeling more at peace with my body than ever before, I just didn’t want to be touched. Pregnancy felt deeply personal, something entirely mine, and I felt like no one else, including my husband, could truly understand what I was going through.
Whether that means quiet nights with a hand on my belly or stolen moments of passion when energy allows - it all counts. And as we prepare for life with two under two, I trust that we’ll find our way, again and again.
The Mama Sutra: Postpartum
The postpartum period, often called the "fourth trimester," is a time of physical recovery, emotional adjustment, and transformation. While new mothers focus on their baby’s needs, it’s equally important to acknowledge their own wellbeing.
This stage typically spans the first 12 weeks after childbirth, but its effects on self-image and sexual health can last for months, years or indefinitely.
This transition is part of matrescence, a term coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the mid 1970s, which describes the profound psychological and physiological shifts that occur as a woman becomes a mother. Much like adolescence, matrescence involves hormonal fluctuations, identity shifts, and emotional challenges.
For many women, the transition into motherhood brings complex changes to their relationship with intimacy. Our research reveals that 63% of Aussies report having less frequent sex after having a baby. These shifts can be influenced by hormonal changes, exhaustion, and body confidence struggles, making it challenging to reconnect with partners, or yourself.
Our research reveals that low libido is one of the leading factors impacting mums who are having less sex, cited by over a third (35%) of Aussie mothers. One in four mums (26%) say a drop in body confidence is the main reason. Mother’s face an array of challenges like scars, weight changes or a new sense of unfamiliarity post-partum, which can lead to anxiety around intimacy and a loss of confidence..
This chapter explores the complexities of postpartum body confidence and sexuality, offering expert advice from leading healthcare professionals on navigating these changes. You'll also hear a real-life story from a mother who found her way back to self-acceptance and pleasure after birth. From understanding the impact of hormones and pelvic floor recovery to practical strategies for rebuilding confidence, this section provides an honest, supportive, and empowering guide to rediscovering intimacy on your own terms.
By taking small, compassionate steps, you can reclaim confidence, pleasure, and a renewed connection with your body - when you're ready and in a way that feels right for you.
What’s going on?
Our experts weigh in:
Physical changes
Healing from childbirth
Healing from childbirth – whether that’s vaginal or a C-section - is a gradual process. Soreness, stitches, or perineal tearing can take weeks to heal, and postpartum bleeding (lochia) may last 4-6 weeks, making some women hesitant to resume intimacy.
Hormonal shifts
Hormonal shifts after childbirth and during breastfeeding can affect libido and intimacy. Oxytocin (the “love hormone”) can trigger milk leakage during orgasm, while prolactin (which aids milk production) lowers dopamine, reducing arousal. Testosterone, key for sexual desire, also drops. Many mothers feel “touched out” from constant physical closeness with their baby, making intimacy less appealing.. In fact, our research found that low libido is one of the biggest impacts on sex lives post partum, with 35 % citing it as their biggest concern.
Vaginal changes
After childbirth, vaginal changes can affect comfort and intimacy. Stretching, tearing, or episiotomy scars may cause discomfort during intercourse, while lower oestrogen levels can make vaginal tissues thinner and drier. These changes can lead to sensitivity or pain.
Pelvic floor weakness
Pelvic floor weakness after childbirth can impact both comfort and confidence. Weakened pelvic muscles may cause a sensation of looseness during intercourse, while urinary incontinence is also common, leading to self-consciousness.
Our experts give their advice on how to navigate intimacy after childbirth…
Navigating intimacy after childbirth can feel both exciting and overwhelming. Your body has undergone immense change, and whether you’re a single parent or in a relationship, it’s natural to feel different from your pre-baby self. But different doesn’t mean lost.
Rather than chasing who you were before, embrace the person you’re becoming. Regaining intimacy - whether with a partner or within yourself - is about patience, self-compassion, and honouring your own pace. There’s no universal timeline, only what feels right for you.
Motherhood doesn’t erase your needs. Prioritising your own pleasure, connection, and confidence isn’t selfish,
Spooning
it’s essential. Every new parent experiences shifts in intimacy, and there’s no ‘right’ way to approach it. What matters most is moving forward in a way that feels good for you. The following provides advice on sex positions and tips from our experts to help you through this stage.
What you can try:
Discomfort during intimacy is one of the most common concerns new mothers have. The key to easing back into sex is realising that sex doesn’t always mean penetrative sex - intimacy can be fostered in many ways (as this book has already explored).
Spooning is often the gentlest option, allowing you to lie on your side with your partner behind you. This position reduces pressure on the abdomen, particularly helpful if you've had a C-section, and allows for slow, controlled movement. It also fosters closeness and emotional connection, which can be reassuring if you’re feeling vulnerable.
Kissing
Kissing can be a powerful way to maintain closeness, reignite passion, and strengthen emotional and physical connection with a partner. It releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin, which helps build trust and deepen bonds, making it a perfect way to ease back into intimacy at your own pace. Whether it’s slow, lingering kisses or playful pecks throughout the day, this simple act can remind you both of your desire for each other without any pressure.
Masturbation
Start slow, focusing on external stimulation rather than penetration if you’re not ready. Using a water-based lubricant can make things more comfortable, especially if hormones have caused dryness. Try exploring new sensations with your hands or a soft-touch vibrator, paying attention to what feels good without any pressure to reach orgasm. Masturbation can also help increase blood flow, relieve stress, and boost mood - perfect for those overwhelming early days of motherhood.
Sarah Mulindwa, Sexual Health & Wellness Expert & Sexual Health Nurse, encourages new mums to ease back into sex at their own pace, without pressure or guilt. "Your body has been through an incredible transformation, and it’s completely normal to feel different about intimacy after birth," she says. She advises starting with open conversations with your
partner about how you’re feeling - whether physically, emotionally, or mentally - so you can set expectations together: “Focusing on non-penetrative intimacy, like sensual touch, massage, or mutual exploration, can help rebuild confidence and desire before jumping straight into full sex”.
Essence’s story
Essence is a 26 year old, single mum with a five-year-old daughter who has recently rediscovered her sexuality.
Disclaimer – Essence’s story references abuse.
‘I never expected that becoming a mother would redefine my relationship with intimacy. But it did, completely.
Before I had my daughter, sex felt transactional. It was the glue holding together something that was already cracked beyond repair. I didn’t know what real intimacy felt like, because for so long, I had been taught that sex was the thing that defined my worth.
I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant. The relationship I was in wasn’t healthy, it was suffocating, unpredictable, and built on control. During my pregnancy, I had a high sex drive. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was just one of the few ways I still felt like myself. Sex was an escape from everything else that felt overwhelming. It even eased some of the pain, made me feel closer to my body instead of like a stranger inside of it.
After I gave birth, everything changed. My body was no longer mine in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I was exhausted, touched-out from breastfeeding and constantly giving all my energy to this tiny, perfect human who needed me more than anyone ever had.
My libido vanished. Sex became a chore, something I felt pressured to do to keep the peace in my relationship. It wasn’t about desire anymore; it was about duty. And that only deepened the fractures that were already there.
I was in an abusive relationship at the time and found these dynamics intensified during pregnancy and postpartum.
When someone craves control and feels like they’re losing it, they fight harder to hold onto it. The rifts grew wider and the abuse worse.
Leaving that relationship was the hardest and best thing I’ve ever done, but it left me with so much healing to do, emotionally, physically, and sexually. I had to unlearn everything I thought I knew about sex.
I had to relearn what it meant to feel safe, to feel desired in a way that didn’t feel like an obligation. I had to rediscover what I wanted.
For the past two years, I’ve been embracing my queerness in a way I never had the freedom to before. I came out as bisexual when I was a teenager, but my experiences had always been tied up in the male gaze, in expectations that weren’t really mine. Now, as a single mother, as a woman who has broken free from that toxicity, I’ve finally been able to explore intimacy in a way that feels good.
Lovehoney: The Mama Sutra
What's going on?
Every parents experience is different, but there are some common struggles that many mothers face. From sheer exhaustion to shifting relationship dynamics, changes in body image, and the constant demands of parenting, maintaining a fulfilling sex life can feel like an uphill battle. However, recognising these challenges is the first step in finding ways to reconnect with your partner. Below are some of the most common experiences that can impact intimacy after becoming a parent.
Time and energy constraints
Parenting, especially in the early years, is physically and emotionally draining. Long nights, early mornings, and the never-ending cycle of feeding, cleaning, and soothing leave little time, or energy, for intimacy. Many couples find that their relationship starts to revolve around their children’s needs, making it easy to forget about their own.
Changing roles
The transition from being a couple to being co-parents is a significant shift. Many partners start to feel more like teammates managing a household than lovers. This change in dynamic can impact attraction, spontaneity, and emotional connection, making it harder to maintain a romantic bond.
Body image and confidence
For many mothers, the postpartum period brings changes that can affect body image and self-esteem. It takes time to feel comfortable in a body that has been through so much, and the pressure to “bounce back” can make things even harder. Fathers and non-birthing parents, too, may experience stress-related dips in confidence, which can affect desire and intimacy.
Mental load and stress
Parenting is more than just the physical tasks - it’s also the relentless mental load of remembering appointments, planning meals, managing school schedules, and keeping life running smoothly. The weight of these responsibilities can leave little mental space for desire, making sex feel like just another thing on an alreadyoverwhelming to-do list.
Lack of privacy
With little ones around, privacy can become a rare luxury. Whether it’s toddlers climbing into bed at night or an ever-present baby monitor, the idea of being intimate without interruption can feel impossible. Many parents also struggle with the psychological shift of having their children so physically close at all times, making it harder to switch into “partner mode” when the opportunity arises.
Body confidence struggles is one of the biggest barriers to intimacy postpartum.
Higher stress levels associated with parenting correlates with lower sexual satisfaction for mothers. 1 2 3
40% of people who have had babies say the quality of their sex life has worsened since becoming pregnant or a parent.
Lovehoney: The Mama Sutra
Expert advice
Reclaim the bedroom
Reclaiming the bedroom as a kid-free zone after bedtime helps set clear boundaries and allows you to reconnect with your partner in a space that feels like your own. To enhance intimacy, create a cosy, sensual atmosphere by dimming the lights, lighting scented candles, and making the bed as inviting as possible. Keeping the bedroom free of screens and other distractions ensures you stay present with each other. Consider establishing relaxation rituals such as taking turns drawing a bath, giving massages, or simply unwinding together in a peaceful setting. Playing soft music, such as jazz or R&B, can also help set the mood and make the space feel special.
Utilise nap times and bedtimes
Even short pockets of quiet time, such as nap times or after the kids are in bed, can be an opportunity to reconnect. Small but meaningful gestures, like making your partner a cup of tea, running them a bath, or giving them a quick massage, can help you both feel appreciated and closer. Even just cuddling or sharing a warm drink while having an intentional conversation about something other than daily responsibilities can strengthen your connection. These small acts of affection reinforce intimacy and, in turn, make you more likely to feel in the mood for sex.
Get creative
If life feels monotonous, finding ways to be creative in how you connect can make a big difference. Unexpected touches, spontaneous kisses, or flirtatious whispers while cooking together can reignite excitement. Playful communication, such as sending cheeky text messages or leaving surprise love notes, can build anticipation throughout the day. If you’re looking to add more excitement, try introducing novelty with intimate games, new outfits, or even role-play. Surprise at-home date nights, like a candlelit dinner, a living-room picnic, or a slow dance in the bedroom, can help break up the routine and keep things fresh.
Get back into the dating world (if single)
Dating as a mum can feel daunting, but it’s important to remember that you’re not just a parent - you’re a person who deserves love, fun, and connection. Start with selflove, rediscovering what makes you feel good, and set clear expectations about what you want from dating. Whether it’s casual fun or something serious, own your desires and don’t be afraid to communicate them. Online dating can be a great way to ease in, but trust your instincts, take things at your own pace, and remember that the right person will respect both you and your responsibilities as a mum.
Take care of you
Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your relationship. Feeling confident and comfortable in your own body can directly impact your intimacy and overall connection with your partner. Prioritising movement and exercise, even in small ways, can boost endorphins and self-confidence. Making time for quality sleep and engaging in self-care rituals, whether that’s skincare, meditation, or simply taking a quiet moment for yourself, helps you feel more relaxed and present. Eating well and staying hydrated can improve energy levels and overall wellbeing, making it easier to feel good about yourself and your relationship. When you take care of yourself, you bring your best energy to your partner, strengthening the bond between you.
Now, I’m unapologetically myself. I’ve put in the work, physically and mentally. I lost weight the right way, through structured training and a healthy lifestyle. I walk into new spaces with confidence, no longer needing alcohol to feel like I belong. And when it comes to relationships now? I don’t settle. I recognise red flags quicker. I don’t chase validation. I ask myself, why am I attracted to this person? Is this good for me?
I spent years feeling guilty about sex, ashamed to express what I wanted. Now, I embrace my sexuality without shame or pressure. I’m still learning about myself, still exploring, still growing. I don’t feel the need to rush into a box labelled ‘relationship’ just yet. Pregnancy changed my body, but my journey changed my relationship with intimacy. And for the first time in my life, I feel truly in control of it.’
Pregnancy may have changed my body, but time has changed my perspective. I used to worry so much - about my weight, about whether I was desirable, about what others thought. Now, I’m unapologetically myself.
Contributors
To provide expert guidance and real-world insights, The Lovehoney Mama Sutra features contributions from:
Cheryl Fagan
Sexologist and Founder of On Top
Cheryl Fagan is a Sexologist and Founder of On Top, with an academic background in Psychology and Sexual and Reproductive Health. In 2018, Cheryl combined her expertise and relatable charm and released On Top: Your Personal Study Guide to Holistic Sexuality to the world. This guide was designed to be an educational resource for teenagers and community groups and proved to be a huge success for teenagers, parents and leaders peppered across the globe.
Sarah Mulindwa
Sexual Health & Wellness Expert & Sexual Health Nurse
Sarah Mulindwa is a Specialist Sexual Health Nurse, TV Presenter, and Fashion Stylist. With over 15 years in nursing, she has spent a decade as a Senior Sexual Health and HIV Nurse, training at the renowned 56 Dean Street clinic. She is best known as the witty and glamorous Nurse Presenter on Channel 4’s The Sex Clinic, where she educates and empowers young people on sex, relationships, and wellbeing. Beyond healthcare, Sarah is also a respected figure in fashion and media, making her mark in sexual wellness, health, and entertainment.
Christine Rafe Sex and Relationship Therapist
Christine is an experienced Sex and Relationship Therapist, with Master's level qualifications and training in sexuality and sexual functioning from the University of Sydney. Christine’s formal training as well as clinical experience offers her clients synergy between psychotherapy, education, and techniques training to increase personal satisfaction and confidence, as well as improve intimate relationships (with self and others). Christine has a holistic view of overall wellbeing, and can see that intimate relationships, sexual enjoyment and sexual expression are foundational parts of overall wellbeing.
References
Lovehoney research as referenced throughout:
Conducted by PureProfile, commissioned by Lovehoney (April 2025). A total of 1048 respondents, Aus representative
Photography:
Photo credit - Alexandra Cameron for Lovehoney @alex_cameron
External references:
Page 5
Skjeldestad, F.E., Rønningen, H., & Nesheim, B.I. (2023) ‹Sexual intercourse frequency during pregnancy: Weekly surveys among 237 young women from a random population-based sample›, PLOS ONE, 4)18), p. e0283542. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0283542
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Wilson, K. N., Jensen, J., Ballard, S., & Taylor, A. (2022). Tell me more: Parent–child sexual talk and young adult sexual communication satisfaction with romantic partners. Journal of Social, Behavioural, and Health Sciences, 39–19 ,(1)16. https://doi.org/10.5590/ JSBHS.2022.16.1.02
Oster, E. (2023). Your sex lives after kids. ParentData. https://parentdata.org/your-sex-lives-after-kids/
Leavitt, C. E., McDaniel, B. T., Maas, M. K., & Feinberg, M. E. (2017). Parenting stress and sexual satisfaction among first-time parents: A dyadic approach. Sex Roles, 355–346 ,(6-5)76. https://doi.org/10.1007/s-11199 8-0579-016
Leavitt, C. E., McDaniel, B. T., Maas, M. K., & Feinberg, M. E. (2015). Parenting stress and sexual satisfaction among first-time parents: A dyadic approach. Sex Roles, 306–294 ,(6-5)72. https://doi.org/10.1007/s-11199 4-0487-015