RÊVERIE
REPEATED By John Arlone Gentugao
“Maria Linda Smith! I’m begging you to get up from your bed now! It’s Monday, come on!” I rose up because of my dad’s yell. I already told him before not to shout my whole name but he still kept doing that because he knew I hated it. I ran immediately to open my door and to stop him from repeating my full name but when I opened the door, I saw right away my dad’s angry face with his two arms folded across his chest. “Ow...umm so-sorry d-ad” I faltered while trying to give him a huge grin to lessen his mood but I know it still failed. “You know what maria lind–” When I knew that he would say it again, I slammed my door immediately before he could proceed. “Dad, I told you already that do not call me by my name, just call me Ree!” I said aloud. “I am your father and I can do anything I want, so get ready there and go to the kitchen because your breakfast is ready” he replied calmly.
I felt relief when my dad walked away from my room as I heard his footsteps in the distance. You know what? When I always catch my dad and even my mom calling me by my name, it makes me feel horrible. I have no idea why they chose this name even though there are lots of names that are available out there—All I can say is I have weird names as well as parents. Anyways, I am used to this scenario since it always happens to me every morning. My dad was strict with me ever since and in fact, he is still not accepting for who I am and what my gender was— Yes, I’m lesbian; I love girls. I confessed to them before about my sexuality but only my mom understands me. I began asking about my sexuality when I met a beautiful girl in high school. Her name is Emma but unfortunately, she has a boyfriend and they have been together for 4 years now. Emma is the only girl that I can vibe with and we became best friends when we are in the same class. She is always there for me whenever I have problems and in every activity I have in school, she is always there cheering and supporting me. I told her about my sexuality and she still accepts me wholeheartedly but I have never had a chance to confront my feelings to her—honestly, I am afraid because I don’t want to ruin our friendship as well as her boyfriend’s relationship, so I have no choice to keep this secret until my last breath. After I took a bath and did some of my hygiene, I packed up my things inside my blackcolored Nike backpack. To be honest, my parents gave me a lot of expensive bags; mostly handbags and feminine bags, which I hate. I kept some of them in my cabinet and gave the others. I don’t know why they continue to buy me girly stuff despite my true sexuality. Since I don’t have an interest in girl’s stuff, I am glad that in our school there are no rules against dress codes, so I can wear whatever I want. Now, I'm dressed in my favorite dark blue pants, Timberland boots, and a black trucker jacket with a plain white shirt inside. However, there were little bastards everywhere in our school, and some of them were annoying, so I can't consider our school to be a harmonious community. I hate make-up, yet I have a lot of it because it is always a gift from my mother on my birthday. I have a lot of dislikes in life, especially when it comes to my hair. My mother forbade me from cutting my hair into a pixie cut, but no one can stop me from doing it.
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