NO KIDS NURSERY RHYMES by Louise Ashcroft

Based on the views of 180+ childfree / childless people who completed a questionnaire about their experiences of not having children.

LOUISE ASHCROFT, 2024.

SWISS GERMAN LYRICS BY SARAH ELENA MÜLLER. ENGLISH LYRICS AND VOCALS BY LOUISE ASHCROFT. SWISS GERMAN VOCALS AND MUSIC BY LUZIA STUDER. THANKS TO MELANIE BÜHLER, HENNA KESKI-MÄENPÄÄ AND JONAS SENN.

COMMISSIONED BY KUNSTMUSEUM ST.GALLEN.

(Häsli i de Gruebe)

I möcht mi nid sorge

Tag und Nacht

Schlaft mis Häsli? Issts au guet?

Treits au brav sin Sunnehuet? Häsli hüpf! Häsli hüpf!

Will nid mit eu hüpfe

Immer gliich

Nuggi, Kita, Pausebrot innerlich bin ich scho tot Häsli träum, Häsli träum.

Vilich no studiere

Neu aafaa

Es Grosi adoptiere

Sie ume-kutschiere Häsli chönnt, Häsli chönnt.

Ihr erwartet Liebi

Achtig au

Eues Häsli wird vilicht Spöter voll de Ego-Wicht Weiss mä nie, weiss mä nie!

Reziproki Fürsorg

Gitz überall

I mim Herz isch Platz für vill Teil miin Bau mit wem i will Häsli share, Häsli care.

(Bunny in the burrow)

I don’t want to worry Day and night Day and night Does Bunny sleep? Does Bunny eat? Does it wear its sun hat? Bunny hop! Bunny hop!

I don’t want to hop along Round and round Round and round

Dummy, daycare, lunchtime snack Already feel dead inside. Bunny dream, Bunny dream!

Maybe I will study

A fresh start

Adopt a granny at my side Take her for a ride Bunny could, Bunny could.

You’ll expect to be loved And respected And respected Your Bunny might turn out to be One more selfish little fool You never know, never know.

Reciprocal carework Is everywhere Is everywhere In my heart there’s space for lots of it Share burrows with whom I want Bunny share, Bunny care.

(Hickory Dickory Dock)

We ran out of time on the clock I guess we just forgot! We didn’t think about having kids

A priority for us they’re not.

We didn’t really decide We just got on with living our lives

We didn’t think about having kids

Now body clock’s not on our side.

There was no desire burning

None of that maternal yearning

We didn’t think about having kids

Tick tock, life’s clock is turning.

(De Schlange ihre Tanz)

Das isch mim Selbstwertgfühl siin Tanz

Es chunt vom Bergli aabe

Er het verlore a Substanz

Un wett si wieder haa Chum säg du mir

Wetsch du nöd au es chliises Stückli meh Respekt? Hey!

Nur wil ich kei eigni Chinder ha, bin i nid egoistisch ich präge d’Xellschaft trotzdem mit halt uf me andre Wäg

Chum säg du mir

Isch d Zuekunft nid

Es kollektivs Projekt? Hey?

Min Uterus gaht dich nüüt aa Er isch doch kei Verpflichtig Biologie isch wandelbar Und Traditione au Natürlichkeit isch en Begriff mal so mal so uus-gleit. Hey!

Nachwuchs isch wie ne Lotterie Geen sind kei Garantie für Nö-öchi u-und Sympathie

So eifach isch es nöd. I ha kei Angst

Nur au kei Lust Entscheid doch du für dich, hey!

(The Snake’s Dance)

This is my self-esteem dance It comes down from the mountain It has lost its substance Would like to have it back. Don’t you tell me That you don’t need Just a little more Respect? Hey!

Just because I don’t have my own kids I am not egocentric I shape society as well But in a different way So don’t you think The future is A collective project? Hey!

My womb is none of your business And it’s no obligation Biology is a broad spectrum And traditions are aswell Natural Is just a word. Interpret it differently. Hey!

Offspring is like the lottery Genes are no guarantee for Closeness and sympathy It is not that easy.

I’m not afraid But I feel no urge You can decide for yourself, hey!

(Row, Row, Row Your Boat)

No, no, no I don’t

Get to choose my dreams

I can’t have kids, it’s not my fault

You can’t control a sneeze

Row, row, row life’s boat

Down a different stream

My life feels bland without a child

What will my journey mean?

Grow, grow, grow, regrets Tan-gle inside me

I can’t have kids, I’ll be the end

Of my family tree

Flow, flow, flow of time

But my life feels quite stuck

While friends move forward with their lives

I’m fishing with no hook

Show, show, show me that I’m welcome in this world

I sometimes feel that I have failed

An oyster with no pearl.

Sow, sow, sow, the seeds I’ll have to form new roots Pro-natalism excludes me I’ll nourish different fruits.

Low, low, low feelings

Anxious and depressed

The baby joy of friends I love Makes me feel stressed.

I know, know, know, it sounds

Bitter and unkind I’m jealous of my parent friends

Because I’m left behind.

Although, though, though I smile

My grief is like a ball

Bouncing ‘round beneath the skin

Pain when it hits the walls.

No, no, no I won’t

Heal this helpless grief I lost my chance to have children You can’t stop Autumn leaves.

(s chrüücht es Schnäggli)

Wetsch keis Baby? Kein Fam-i-lie?

Wär doch schön?

I möcht lieber heile

Kei Traumata verpflanze

Lieber nöd

Bisch nid einsam? Ohni Chinder?

Ischs nid schlimm?

I bi gern eleige schätze mini Freiheit für mi stimmts für mi stimmts

Und im Alter? Ohni Nachwuchs?

Das wird zääch

Es git soviel Forme

Z’ lebe und au z’wohne

Won-ii xääch

Und bereusch es? Nid es bitzli?

De Entscheid?

S’isch nid immer eifach

Doch d Vorteil überwieged

Duet mer leid

Und denn Zuekunft? Vo de Menschheit?

Isch der gliich?

D Welt die dreht sich wiiter

Mit und ohni Chinder

Ohni mich

(A Snail is Gliding)

Don’t you want a baby? No family? Wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn’t it be nice? (No) I would rather heal than pass on my trauma Rather not Rather not.

Aren’t you lonely? Without kids?

Ain’t it bad? Ain’t it bad? (No) I like to be alone And appreciate my freedom Suits me well Suits me well.

And in old age? Without offspring? It will be tough?! It will be tough?! (No) There are many forms Of living and housing That I see That I see.

Don’t you regret it? Just a little? Your choice? Your choice?

It’s not always easy But advantages outweigh (disadvantages) Sorry about that Sorry about that.

And the future? Of mankind?

Don’t you care?

(No) The world will keep on turning With or without my kids Without me Without me.

(Humpty Dumpty)

My friends exclude me from family fun

Their new friends have kids

I won’t know anyone I can’t discuss my baby’s Cute milestones I’m childfree not a monster Who’s best left alone.

They only call when they need a night out They think I’d get bored With what their life’s about My life’s quite different It’s hard to relate But I could teach their kids To roller skate.

Make slime, play Mario and go on the slide I don’t see a reason For this big divide Good for kids to have A different perspective It might help us all if We were more connected.

(es Buurebüebli)

En Baby-buuch das maa ni niid, das xeht me miir wohl aa, juhé

Organabse-enkig, Inkontinenz, das chunt doch alles früeh gnueg.

Ich xeh wie nach de Niederkunft

Z’mol Rollebi-ilder uf-er-stöhnd

Wo mir mal zäme beerdigt hend Mir sind no ni-id immuun, juhé

Als Eltre-teil luegt alles hi-i

Darfsch keini Fehler haa, juhé

Wennd jammerisch bisch selber Tschuld

Drum friss din Frust und sig froh!

De Fuessabruck ufem Planet

Wo Schwiizer Chind hinderlönd, juhé

Verschlingt uufgrechnet vier Welte meh

Wenn all de Standard wend.

Di eige Chindheit würdi niemerem wünsche, nid emal aasatzwiis

Versangensängst hani soo scho gnueg und Druck gitz gratis derzue.

Mini Partnerschaft isch scho erfüllt

Oisi gemeinsam Zi-it es wertvolls Guet

Und bruuchi öppis zum erzieh

Denn chaufi halt en Hund, juhé.

(A Farmer Boy)

I don’t want a baby-belly You can’t all be looking at me (woohoo) Organ descent and incontinence Doesn’t it all come too soon anyway?

I see that after giving birth Ancient rolemodels resurrect Some that we had buried long ago We’re not immune to this (woohoo).

A parent is on everybody’s watch No mistakes allowed (woohoo) If you complain, it’s your own fault So, eat your frustration and smile.

The footprint on our planet Earth That Swiss kids leave behind (woohoo) It would devour four more worlds If everyone strived for this standard.

I would not wish upon anyone My own childhood, not even parts of it I have enough fear of failure Pressure comes as a freebie.

My relationship with my partner is fulfilling Our shared time is a rare good thing If I want to educate someone I’ll buy myself a dog (woohoo!)

(Three Blind Mice)

We broke up I broke down. My partners tricked me They were clowns. I always wanted to have my own kids But none of my ex partners really did Tinder algorithm couldn’t find a good fit

Now I’m childless at 40 I must live with it.

I care for myself

I’m healing from the pain Of manipulation

Betrayal and disdain

My exe’s violent behaviour

Makes co-parenting with him a terrible idea You can’t raise a family while living in fear

Now I’m single again God, how did I get here?

My Mum raised us solo With very little help She did a great job But it put pressure on her health

Sometimes I mourn kids I won’t have myself But life is so vibrant, friends are my wealth Kids were not meant for me this suits me quite well

I follow my freedom

I’ve stories to tell.

(i ghööre es glöggli)

Ich ghööre es Glöggli Es warnt mi scho jetzt Sötsch du schwanger werde Wirsch nid unterstützt.

Din Bruef isch es Hobby

D’Bilanz minimal

Es langt grad für dich Alles meh wär fatal.

Ob Mensch oder Mueter Bestimmt nid min Wert Ich wett kei Kopie Wo a mir umezerrt.

I gspür au kein Drang nach meh schlaflose Nächt Ha z wenig Ressource s System git mir Rächt.

De Tag isch vergange Ich ha nüüt vermisst kei Uuf-opferig und kein Mueterinstinkt.

Xeh nid ii was das isch Ha kein Zuegang derzue Schaffe Kunst, zwar prekär Ha defür mini Rueh.

(I Hear a Little Bell)

I hear a little bell And it’s warning me well If you will get pregnant You will not find help.

Your job is a hobby Profits are low Just enough to sustain you Not enough for one more (person).

Whether I’m a Mother or just a person It doesn’t determine my value I don’t need a copy of myself To yank at my arm.

I don’t feel the urge For more sleepless nights I don’t have the resources The system confirms I’m right.

The day has gone by I did not miss a thing No self sacrifice No mother instinct.

Don’t see why I should be like that I have everything I make my precarious art And enjoy my calm.

(Sing a Song of Six Pence)

Sing a song of six pence

I can’t afford childcare

I still live with ten people

In a big houseshare

We need co-operative housing

For those with and without kids

My housemates are much younger

Don’t know what they’d think of this.

I dream of a huge mansion

Full of polyamorous artists

Cross-generational proximity

Is the care model that’s smartest

A building shared with my friends

And their adopted kin

Watch movies, and play games together

Cook in our shared kitchen.

It’s easier to adopt kids

If you’re in a middle-class couple

We need to think beyond

The outdated family bubble

But questioning the family

Still seems to be taboo

‘The Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe’

Can teach a thing or two.

(Siebe chugelrundi Säu)

Siebe chugelrundi Queers

Umsorget sich und ihri Peers

Ali tüend luege, ali tüend lose ganz egal ob Rock, ob Hose

Bezoge-sii isch immer Handel

Und das Trading isch im Wandel

Warum nur im Zweiergspann?

Wenn mä au mit meh Hilf haa chan?

Laufts nid immer siide-fiin

Verchunnt dis Dasii zu me Meme

Du findsch Poly bitz vermässe

Hauptsach niemert wird vergesse

Freiwilligkeit und Kernfamilie

Liit nid per se uf einre Linie

Wahlverwandschaft au nid immer

Aber sicher ischs nid schlimmer

Hesch du diis Heu uf andre Bühne

Fiired mir grad s Androgyne

Baued Näster, bildet Gflecht

Bindet nid alles as Geschlecht.

(Seven Perky Piglets)

Seven well-fed, perky queers

Care for eachother and their peers

Everyone watches, everyone listens No matter if in skirt or jeans

Relationships can be a compromise

And how we exchange is changing Why struggle in pairs of two?

When you can accept more help.

It’s not always as smooth as it seems

Sometimes we feel like a meme

You think polyamory sounds mad

But the main thing is no one’s left behind

Consent and nuclear family

Aren’t necessarily compatible Chosen family doesn’t always work either But it can’t be much worse.

While your ‘hay is on another stack’ We celebrate the androgynous Building nests and weaving networks

We don’t tie it all to gender.

(London Bridge is Falling Down)

Nuclear family’s falling down, Falling down, falling down. Let’s make a chosen-kin playground With timeshare babies

Build it up with mutual aid Mutual aid, mutual aid Fund care - make sure that it’s well paid Invent new ways to be.

The old rule book must bend and break, Bend and break, Bend and break. Extended family takes the weight When life gets crazy

Co-parenting’s not anarchy It’s a sustainable way to be Parental pressures are stifling We all need to be free.

(Ich gah mit miner Laterne)

I gah mit mine Fründe*

Und mini Fründ*inne mit mir

Am Himmel lüüchtet Sterne

Und unde lüüchtet mir

E langi Nacht, spontane Sex

Eh, eh, eh!

Das simmer, das nämmer, ja gern.

I rede gern mit Erwachsne

Direkt und unzensiert

Vo Babybrei und Windle

Bini nid inspiriert

Ich bin als Tante* en Bezug Eh, eh, eh!

Das bini, das wetti, ja gern.

Wett i mich la sterilisiere redet uf z mal alli mit erkläred mir mini Bestimmig und dass es denn «scho no wird»

Für mich wär das e Sicherheit

Eh, eh, eh!

Das weissi, das möchti, genau.

I lueg zu minere Xundheit

Und finde Erfüllig ir Kunst Beniide nid all die Körper im Schmerz um Niederkunft

I lebe wiiter i mim Werk

Eh, eh, eh!

Das zählt, das langt, jawohl.

(I Go with my Lantern)

I go with my friends

And my friends go with me

Above the stars are shining

Beneath so do we

A long night, spontaneous sex

Eh, eh, eh,

That’s us, we have it, yes please.

I like to talk to adults

Uncensored about adult things

Whimpering and diapers

Don’t inspire me

I take part in family as an Aunt Eh, eh, eh,

This I am, this I want, yes please.

If I want to get sterilized

Suddenly everyone gets involved

Explaining my destination should be And what is yet to come

But I want the security of this Eh, eh, eh,

I know that, I need that, alright.

I’ll look after my health

And find fulfillment in art

I don’t envy those bodies

Labour pain rips them apart I will live on through my work Eh, eh, eh.

That’s enough, that counts, indeed.

(The Wheels on the Bus)

The wheels on my bus don’t turn that way I'm a man and I am gay The wheels on my bus don’t turn that way In my rainbow town.

I might have liked to be a Dad But it’s a choice I never had I would have like to be a dad But some wheels are not round.

So, I reframe it as a choice Because I do not have a voice Better to say that it’s my choice And turn that frown around.

I’d co-parent if friends asked me No heteronormativity

Take turns to drive the wheels on the bus All through the town

Some gay men pay for surrogates But most of us can’t aff-ord that My bus wheels are not made of gold They’re a rusty brown

Some make family by adoption For single men that’s no option The wheels on the bus don’t want us At the play-ground.

The wheels on the bus go round and round And sometimes it can get me down The family bus goes round and round But my seat cannot be found.

(Roti Rösli im Garte)

Roti Hösli und Schmerze

D’ Eierstöck sind verchläbt

I han Endometriose

So het’s eifach nie klappt

Mit hend glernt derzue z schwiige zu de Unfruchtbarkeit mengi re-agiered hilflos fast als het ich verseit

Für e künstlichi Befruchtig

Fehlt mer s Geld und de Muet Mengisch machts mi nur truurig Mengisch bliibt mer nur d Wuet

Chumi a mini Grenze

Ringe um Akzeptanz

Wirdi glich min Platz finde?

Fühli mi glich au «ganz»?

Wer kei Chind will, wird sich fröge

Warum plagt sie das so?

Warum Träne i de Badi? Depressione im Zoo?

Wenn en Traum muesch begrabe

Wo du vor dir hesch xee

Würsch du au dranne naage

Tät dir das gnau so weh!

(Red Roses in the Garden)

Red panties and aching

My ovaries are fused I have endometriosis

It has never worked

We have learned to shut up

About infertility

Some (people’s) reactions are helpless

As if I had screwed up

For artificial fertilization

I lack money and courage

Sometimes it makes me sad Sometimes all that’s left is fury

I have reached my limits I struggle for acceptance

Will I find my place? Will I feel whole?

Those who don’t want a child wonder Why is this bugging her so much?

Why the tears at the pool?

Why is she depressed at the zoo?

If you had to bury a life’s dream

That you saw for yourself

It would gnaw on you too It would hurt you just like me.

(Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes)

I’m trans, so my womb is not mine I’m queer, don’t want my gender defined I’m scared society’d reject a parent like me How could family and identity be aligned?

(I’m a Little Teapot)

I’m a little teapot short and stout

Not all bodies can push a baby out

Endometriosis, low sperm count

Some have to pay for IVF, or they must go without

He’s neuro-divergent, she’s got mental illness

Polycystic ovaries with adenomyosis

Her menopause was early, and he’s got low motility

They had to take a bank loan out to treat their infertility

Their partner is their carer – a chronic condition

They would have loved to have some kids, but not in this position

Chemo-therapy harmed the health of his sperm

They’re playing the waiting game, the future is uncertain

Gynaecology’s underfunded, IVF is unequal

Gays and singles pay but it’s free for some people

One embryo left in storage, but can’t face more IVF

Miscarriages and failed attempts put marriage under stress

There’s nobody to talk to about the loss and hurt

It’s not ideal small talk for the coffee break at work

Been trying for ten years now, your hope begins to fade

Your desperate for a fam-ily, but can’t take much more pain

(Mary Mary Quite Contrary)

Mary Mary, it’s not that I’m contrary, Childfree life is how I choose to be

You say that it’s a shame and I’d make a great mum

But I’ve known I don’t want kids, since I was young.

I love my hassle-free life with my part-ner We don’t need kids for our happy-ever-after I thank Mary each day that I don’t have to give birth

Because we don’t need kids to give our life worth

You think my life has a child shaped hole

But I’ve got a lot of ve-ry different life goals

My car-eer, books, cats; I ran a marathon quite fast

I love hobbies, sex and true crime podcasts.

If you have kids, you can still do your own thing,

But you pri-o-ri-tise the rou-tines that childcare brings.

I like to hang out with the children of my friends,

No kids for me, Mary, because the work never ends…

(Incey Wincey Spider)

Tied up in a web of routines and nappies. That kind of lifestyle won’t make spider happy.

My spider legs need freedom to travel, work and play. Escape the family drainpipe, enjoy a brighter day.

My eight spider eyes, want to see the world I like to be spontaneous, I need my dreams fulfilled

Pleasure-seeking spider falls in love with everything Eight legs in life’s bathtub, a spider who can swim

You think I’m a hed-on-ist, whose life lacks an aim

But Planet Earth is burning – you humans are to blame.

You won’t live forever by spread-ing selfish genes. Planet full of humans, glued to your screens

I build webs of kinship, on whom I depend Gardens of connection, permaculture friends.

So don’t be afraid of me because I have no nest

I’m a very social spider, this life suits me best.

(Old Macdonald)

I don’t blame my par-ent friends, if our friendship’s been outgrown

The bore, and gore, and joy of motherhood, I have nev-er known The other mums, the other dads; Have shared the new exper-i-ences had

They know the chaos of hav-ing kids, and the social structures it brings: Doc-tors, school runs, and sleep routines, the roundabouts and swings. A different life

Mine could have been If normative expectations suited me

I have thir-ty two cou-sins and all but 3 have kids

I ben-e-fitt-ed from the love, of a fam-i-ly that big

But par-ent friends who in-spire me are single, queer, co-parenting.

The trope of selfish childless women really baffles me, Fam-ily can turn your life in-wards, towards communities of similarity I support my neighbours

Up my road

I help a gardener who’s 96 years old

Loneliness is an ep-i-demic, babies won’t solve the problem

I got a bank loan for IVF, private clinics cost a fortune

But I got sick

And had to quit

Now I val-ue life (...all of it!)

I’m in-com-plete without a kid, when I enter cer-tain rooms.

The ex-cess limbs, of carrying him, to the buggy from the womb.

Kids light up smiles

On every face

No kid, no dog, an empty space

Glad to be the other side, of this huge decision

Make a choice and stick with it, there’s always contradiction.

It’s strange to mourn

Kids who won’t be

This is a childfree bedtime stor-y.

(Here We Go ‘Round the Mulberry Bush)

The world population hit 8 billion

A lot of mouths, a lot of hands

People will make themselves extinct

We’re running out of resources

We’re all supposed to win the race

To have a dream, compete and thrive

It’s hard enough to pay my rent

I wouldn’t want my kids to face this