you. It is hard to get a perfect peer who has only positive influences on you. For instance, a friend of yours who is very kind to the needy might inspire you to be more kind. However, the same friend might encourage you to try drugs with him/her. Therefore, reject or avoid not the person entirely but the negative pressures from the person.
How to foster and maintain a healthy peer relationship? • Listen: Ask what’s going on in your friends’ life. When friends share details of hard times or difficult experiences, be empathetic, but don’t give advice unless your friends ask for it. • Open Up: Expressing each other’s thoughts and feelings promotes openness and reduces misunderstandings. • Keep up the Trust: Follow through the commitments you have made to your friends and when friends open up with their confidential information, keep it private. • Respect: Respect your friends’ needs, values even when they are totally different from that of yours. • Match Expectations: Expect realistically and at the same level as each other, while respecting personality differences. • Resolve Conflicts:Resolve any conflicts that arise in a peaceful, respectful manner. Focuson the problem and not on the person. • Avoid Competing with Peers: Do not compete with your friends. Those who compete with their friends are more likely to suffer from poor selfesteem. Working on enhancing your self-esteem might be required if you are trying to compete with your friends.Being able to understand that you are good at somethings and not so good at others would help you in refraining from making unnecessary comparison with your friends and competing with them. • Acceptance: Accept the shortcomings and mistakes of your friends. If your friend does something you do not like, try to understand it. Considering your friends’ personality and trying
to see things from their perspective might help you to accept them with their shortcomings. • Set Boundaries:Make it clear to your friends how you would like to betreated by them, speak up when there is something you are not willing to deal with.Make theboundaries clear to each other so that neither party feels uncomfortable or taken advantage of.
Dr. M. Manjula Professor Dept. of Clinical Psychology NIMHANS
Ms. Krishna Kumari K PhD Scholar Dept. of Clinical Psychology NIMHANS
LOUDSPEAKER THE
Amplifying the voice of mental health
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