Los Angeles Blade, Volume 09, Issue 09, May 02, 2025

(Photo by Lindsay Melanie Photography)

continues pro-LGBTQ fight amid Trump attacks, PAGE 06

MAY 02, 2025 • VOLUME 09 • ISSUE 09 • AMERICA’S LGBTQ NEWS SOURCE • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM

LOCAL

Los Angeles Blade’s Community Series kicks off with panel First panel in series brought in community leaders, politicians and other notable figures

By ROB SALERNO The Los Angeles Blade kicked off its “Free Community Series” in partnership with Roar Resistance, for a rousing discussion panel titled “Time To Get Informed, Time To Resist” at The Abbey in West Hollywood last Saturday.

The event featured a panel of notable figures in the city’s government and queer activism circles who spoke about how to organize and protect queer rights in the current political climate.

The panel was moderated by Roar Resistance’s Michael Ferrera, and included West Hollywood Mayor Chelsea Byers, former WeHo Mayor and queer activist Abbe Land, Equality California Communications Director Jorge Reyes Salinas, Political Vice President of the Stonewall Democratic Club, Nico Brancolini and NAACP LGBTQ Committee Chair Chris Baldwin.

The discussion kicked off with a call by Abbe Land for participants to stay focused on the issues that matter, despite the flood of new developments constantly coming from the White House.

“I do think it was designed that way to keep us crazed, to keep us unfocused, to keep us in a state of panic and fear,” said Land. “We have to look at what is happening and where is our lane and where are we going to focus our energies and have trust that there are other people that are focusing in other areas that need focus.”

Each of the panelists then described how the first few months of the current administration has impacted the work they’re doing in the community and the dangers they see on

the horizon.

“I have been deeply disturbed by the elite capitulation that occurred this time around,” Brancolini said, noting the big law firms and media corporations that have acceded to “unconstitutional orders” and rushed to make settlements with Trump and his family.

“Frankly, I’ve been disappointed by a lot of the national Democratic leadership. I think they treated a 1.5% plurality victory on Trump’s behalf as if it was a huge blowout, and I think that’s a big mistake,” said Land.

Reyes Salinas pointed out that a one of the most vulnerable communities right now is trans youth.

“The target is on their backs and the backs of their families and providers,” he said.

“Here in California, we have laws that protect them and we keep improving those, but there’s still so much fear, and it’s important for everyone to be able understand that these are children’s lives at stake here.”

But while there was agreement that there is much at risk at the current moment, Chris Baldwin said this was a time to build stronger coalitions.

“I don’t live my life in fear. I am a Black woman born in the 60s, at a time when my father when we traveled to Alabama had to step across the street to let a white man pass,” she said. “We will get through this. Black people have lived through much worse.

Welcome to the civil rights movement. We are going to experience setbacks but we will keep pushing forward.”

Later, Baldwin invited attendees to join

the NAACP, noting that it is an interracial organization whose membership is open to all.

Chelsea Byers echoed that sentiment, noting that this moment presents an opportunity for a new generation of leaders to imagine new ways to solve society’s big problems.

“We know that people are under-resourced.

We need to make education accessible to people bring them on board, help them understand these processes and meet them where they’re at,” she said. “We need to bring people on board. We can’t go back to what was, because it wasn’t working. We need to activate our political imaginations in the biggest way possible.”

When the discussion turned to what people can do to protect our rights, the panelists focused on practical things anyone can do to help build a successful coalition for change.

“Every day, do something. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It might be just calling someone to check in on them, it might be writing a letter, or calling your congressman. It might be a passive thing,” said Land. “That moment when you think, ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe this,’ that’s when you do something, anything and it’ll propel you for the next day.”

The panel also addressed concerns from the audience that we have to ensure that our activism is inclusive and intersectional.

“Feminism without intersectionality is just white supremacy,” Baldwin said. “Going forward with your coalitions, I encourage you to be intentional with your intersectionality, not just tokenism.”

“There are some common needs that we

Left to Right, West Hollywood Mayor CHELSEA BYERS, former WeHo Mayor and queer activist ABBY LAND, Equality California Communications Director JORGE REYES SALINAS, Political Vice President of the Stonewall Democratic Club NICO BRANCOLINI, and NAACP LGBTQ+ Committee Chair CHRIS BALDWIN, and Roar Resistance’s MICHAEL FERRERA.

all care about and it doesn’t matter who you are, and that’s where we have to be. But when we’re fighting for those things, we have to recognize there are some people who have different ideas of what that looks like, and we have to be open to that,” said Land. Reyes Salinas added that it’s an important priority for Equality California to use its platform to lift the voices of diverse parts of the community.

“We can elevate your coalitions, your storytelling, whatever’s happening, my team can make sure that that’s elevated to ensure that other people see you as a trusted source,” he said.

Reyes Salinas added that Equality California offers leadership training programs for people who want to get experience in politics and running for office.

The Los Angeles Blade is planning more community forums to discuss hot-button issues as they arise.

New ‘Party with a Purpose’ lesbian brunch to be hosted at Sorry Not Sorry Lez Brunch is coming to Sorry Not Sorry L.A. on May 17 with bottomless mimosas and games

By GISSELLE PALOMERA Jessica Wagstaff is the founder of Homology L.A. and most recently partnered up with The Queer 26, a nonprofit platform for QTBIPOC creatives, to produce Lez Brunch. The brunch will be hosted on May 17, from noon to 4p.m., at Sorry Not Sorry. The 4,000 sq-ft event space is a well-respected wine-forward, cocktail bar in Los Angeles that also hosts lots of other LGBTQ events, drag shows and more, throughout the year.

Wagstaff believes it is important to not only host this event, but also to make it as safe and inclusive as possible. They have also incorporated a community outreach aspect to this event by giving back to their community by donating proceeds to non-profit and mutual aid organizations.

Everything down to the ticketing site, is queer and inclusive.

“The ticketing website allows attendees to enter in their name which may differ from their legal name, which I think is a really important aspect right off the top of the bat, they know we care about who they are right at the start of their experience with us,” said Wagstaff. “In fact the ticketing website is the only platform that is queer owned and operated in the world, it›s called Sickening Events. So we know that it›s also benefiting our community.”

The performers are also part of the LGBTQ+ community and Wagstaff believes that by having a line-up of performers and entertainers who mirror and represent the community, it allows people to feel safe, heard and seen.

02 • MAY 02, 2025 • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM

“I›ve always been very passionate about having a lineup that directly mirrors our community from BIPOC, trans, queer, nonbinary, etc,” said Wagstaff.

Wagstaff is also a licensed security guard who says safety and security is on the top of their priorities when it comes to hosting these events.

“I will have a code of conduct signage and training at the front door which will be promoted by wait staff, restaurant management, plus all Lez Brunch talent and staff,” said Wagstaff.

The event will be hosted by Ruthie Alcaide who is a TV personality who has been a contestant on The Real World: Hawaii, a finalist on Battle of the Sexes and All Stars 1, and she

also competed on Battle of the Sexes 2, The Gauntlet 2, and The Duel II. Wagstaff is also working in collaboration with Camille Ora-Nicole, founder of The Queer 26 and multi-hyphenated creative.

Ora-Nicole has been hosting events and collaborating with queer and trans BIPOC creatives across Los Angeles to bring more visibility to those marginalized communities.

Her and Wagstaff agree that queer joy is the biggest form of resistance and that hosting these events during this politically polarizing time is much needed for survival and for the people in these communities to have the space to heal, gather, celebrate and network.

To learn more about The Queer 26, visit their website: theq26.com.

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LOCAL

Bear World Magazine gives the community a mighty roar Richard Jones is fighting for queer subculture representation

By ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ Entrepreneur and co-founder of Gray Jones Media, Richard Jones is the mastermind behind Bear World Magazine. Together with his editor, Robin Gray, they understand that their publication is needed now more than ever.

In 1979, George Mazzei wrote an article for The Advocate characterizing gay men by certain animals titled, “Who’s Who in the Zoo?” It was that article that gave voice to the chubbier, hairier, gay man — the almighty ‘bear.’

The term took wing and by the mid-1980s, gay men, who identified as ‘bears’ would gather in social and sexual settings. Feeling ousted because of body type and hairy body parts, these bear groups would congregate separate from the gay community at large, feeling safe and accepted in their own circle.

Presently, the bear community is a thriving, worldwide community with a variety of events and social groups, and the members of that sector have grown to include all shapes and sizes. Over the last decade, the bear community has gained a bigger presence in mainstream gay culture and one can spot a number of twinks at bear pool parties as well as a large contingent of bears showing off on Pride main stages. As the celebration of body types gains traction and the pressures of peak physique diminish, the segregation of the bear community and the rest of gay culture has faded.

Keeping the bear voice very much alive is Bear World Magazine, which is ready to celebrate 13 years in media. Celebrating the bear culture and all of its varying members, is at the forefront of Bear World, without diminishing the queer community that exists beyond the ‘zoo.’

Despite the challenges that chubbier men face because of societal norms and despite the challenges that queer media has faced in recent political climates — they continue to fight the fight via their online publication, podcasts, awards, nationwide events and video content.

The bear’s roar continues to represent.

We chatted with Jones as we compared notes on queer media, building a legacy and what the future of queer representation might look like.

What was the inspiration for starting Bear World?

It was all an accident. I was a member of a bear online group that is no longer around and for the life of me cannot remember the name. They asked the 30,000 members for help with ideas to save the site. Server costs were crippling, etc. I pitched them an idea to create their own magazine. I would own it but license their name and split the ad money with them. They liked the idea and asked me to pitch it more formally. I started to prepare that and then never heard from them again.

I think our idea was great but wasn’t going to make enough money for them quick enough. In the end, I realized I could do it anyway and changed the name to Bear World Mag and here we are almost 13 years later.

04 • MAY 02, 2025 • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM

What was your first exposure to the bear world as a queer man?

Funnily enough, it was a visit to Ty’s in NYC — before I really knew what Bears were. I remember seeing ‘BEAR’ as a specific chat room in Gaydar (that’s an old reference) too — but had no idea. It wasn’t until I started going to Be Your Be Yourself (BUBU), which was started by the amazing Paul Bloomer in Belfast Northern Ireland over ten years ago now, and then a bear group there that I really understood how broad the community could be and how I could fit into it.

RICHARD JONES is the mastermind behind Bear World Magazine. (Photo courtesy the subject

What are some of the biggest challenges in keeping BWM thriving?

I think trying to keep it fresh, keeping it looking forward as well. The community is ever-evolving and we try to showcase that. We miss things as we are a small team, so we are always encouraging people to tell us about their events, their groups and we try to showcase as much of the global bear community as we can.

We have just started to cover the Australian bear community more deeply, with a new dedicated deputy editor Luka Musicki, who is on the ground talking to the groups and helping us find local advertisers!

What are some of the biggest challenges that queer media faces in general?

I hate talking about this but at the moment it’s the hesitation of advertisers to spend with us. The recent political upheaval has meant that the big advertisers are pulling away and the small advertisers might be more hesitant to advertise because of fear of the economy. We have seen media decline since the pandemic and those of us left are finding it harder to survive.

The appetite to pay for media just isn’t there. It means we have to be leaner and adaptable. It’s why we are starting our Bear World TV content, short videos from key bear voices, showcasing different elements of

the bear community. All of us are used to consuming more short-form videos, the bears too. We are very excited about its impact and how it will help stabilize Bear World Mag. What do you hear most from your readers?

They love the hairy content! I’m serious. I think the way we present a bigger different body —although never nude — is inspiring to them. Our bears of the week who are our readers basically from all over the world, are a key part of showing the community from 21-99 in all body shapes and sizes, we are so very diverse even in this niche community.

What are some of your biggest achievements with the magazine?

Well being here almost 13 years later is the biggest achievement. It was a quick idea that has lasted through greater content, great editors and writers and just never trying to tell the community what they should be but more mirroring them, where they are at all times.

I’m proud of some key interviews including Armistead Maupin.

It was a big thrill to meet him and chat with him. He gives good hugs. I’m proud of our female and trans bears that have been cover stars, I’m proud of the young bears that have found us and have said how we helped them be confident in themselves. They always came at my most difficult times and helped me to keep moving forward.

The bear community has been getting a much bigger voice and more representation in the queer world, why is that?

I think the biggest reason is that the queer community as a whole is getting more representation on mainstream TV, and the mainstream media. The dad bod and body positivity have helped our bodies be seen as attractive. It’s been great to see bears become character choices over the years across many different TV and films. I had the opportunity to interview the very bear-y straight actor Patrick Cox, who played John on “Two Broke Girls.”

I think [he is] a very ordinary representation of a bear and he was not there to be the butt of fat jokes. The “Will & Grace” reboot had Jack partnered with a bear cub. We have seen bears referenced on “30 Rock,” and even the reboot of the “Muppets” had Fozzy Bear talk about gay bears briefly. Just recently on “The Connors” the greatest Bear Icon of all time, Dan, (some would say) referenced the bear community which in a weird way was beautiful to see.

So it all comes back to representation matters. Writers and show-runners are plugged into the community and are now likely to be queer themselves. A key writer on “Saturday Night Live” is queer, so we’ve seen a lot more queer references on that show in recent times.

We, of course, are thrilled to see it.

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NATIONAL

Zbur continues fight for LGBTQ rights amid Trump attacks Cementing a pro-equality legacy in state legislature

By GISSELLE PALOMERA Assemblymember Rick Chavez Zbur, 68, grew up in a rural farming community surrounded by animals and land in Rio Grande Valley, New Mexico — ultimately becoming the first person in his rural community to attend an Ivy League university.

Since then, he has continued to build his reputation as an advocate and as a political leader in environmental justice and LGBTQ rights.

Assemblymember RICK CHAVEZ ZBUR (Photo courtesy of Lindsay Melanie Photography )

Most recently, Zbur introduced Assembly Bill 309, which would support California’s strategy to prevent the spread of HIV and viral hepatitis by preserving existing laws that increase access to sterile syringes at no added cost to the state.

“Extensive research and data collection has repeatedly proven that increased access to sterile syringes significantly lowers rates of transmission and saves lives without increasing rates of drug use,” said Zbur when presenting AB 309.

He added that the average estimated cost for lifetime medical costs related to HIV treatment for one person is $326,500. “Syringe access not only saves lives, but it also saves individuals and the state from the steep cost of treatment,” he continued.

As a gay man in the peak of the AIDS crisis, Zbur saw some of his own close friends become ill, motivating him to become an AIDS activist at a time when the

06 • MAY 02, 2025 • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM

federal government was failing to provide resources to the community that needed them the most.

“Since I’ve been in the Assembly, I’ve always had a number of bills every year that focus on uplifting the LGBTQ community, as well as getting to zero, in terms of HIV — zero transmissions, zero deaths, zero stigma.”

Prior to this bill and a few others, Zbur also introduced AB 85, which he says was a culmination of eight years worth of work, from the time he started working for Equality California, the state’s largest nonprofit organization dedicated toward advocating for LGBTQ civil rights.

AB 85, which was passed and is now known as the Safe and Supportive Schools Act, is meant to improve the conditions for LGBTQ students in schools.

“I think this bill has the most impact for LGBTQ youth and it’s the one I’m proudest of because it requires that every teacher in California schools has LGBTQ cultural competency training, to make sure that our schools are safe and supportive.”

Zbur, a longtime advocate for the LGBTQ community, has a long history of activism.

In the early 1980s, Zbur campaigned for the fight against HIV/AIDS, helped found the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation and alongside the Los Angeles LGBT Center, organized fundraisers for Bill Clinton while he was governor of Arkansas, and Barbara Boxer, who was then running for U.S. Senate.

“I think part of me coming out more publicly was due to the HIV epidemic and the fact that I had friends that were getting sick,” he said. “I had a long-term boyfriend back then and we started to get politically active, really trying to make sure that the government was doing something about the HIV epidemic.”

He says that this is when he decided he was going to get Barbara Boxer elected, because she was the only Senate candidate during that time who was even mentioning the LGBTQ community.

In 1996, Zbur ran for the United States House of Representatives in California’s 38th congressional district against Republican incumbent Steve Horn. He became the first openly gay non-incumbent congressional primary candidate to win an election when he won the Democratic primary election on March 26, 1996.

During many years following that win, Zbur jumped into another pool of justice fighting for environmental issues and then in 2014, joined Equality California as executive director. Under his leadership, EQCA quadrupled in size, passed groundbreaking legislation to advance LGBTQ equality measures and sued the Trump-Pence administration twice, blocking attacks

against the transgender community of California.

In 2022, Zbur was elected to the California State Assembly to represent the 51st Assembly District, a position he currently serves. He was appointed in July 2023 by Assembly Speaker Robert Rivas to serve as the Democratic Caucus Chair of the California Assembly, one of the Speaker’s key leadership positions. During that time, he also led the advancement in civil rights and social justice for the many other marginalized communities within the LGBTQ umbrella, such as communities of color, communities of faith, immigrants women and people living with HIV. Zbur says that his work is never over.

“We’re facing greater risks that are greater than I think we’ve faced in recent years coming out of the [first] Trump administration. The targeting of transgender and gender non-conforming people is an even greater part of his hostility toward our community,” he said. “It’s very real, and we see that it’s not just rhetoric. He’s taking real steps to try to shut down the healthcare that LGBTQ people and transgender people need.”

Zbur says that he and the other members of the LGBTQ Caucus in Sacramento are constantly thinking of those decisions and their repercussions.

“I have another bill that is focused on helping transgender people get the government documents they need, so they can protect themselves from the Trump administration and so that they can travel easily to get medical care.”

Zbur says that his own coming out story was positive, but he grew up in a time where he did not know anyone who was out about their identity. He went through many trials and tribulations to end up in a space where he was finally accepted.

“For me, coming to terms with the fact that I was LGBTQ, was something that took a number of years,” said Zbur. “The world was just a very different place back then and the risks were high, coming out.”

When he started his career as a lawyer, he became a partner in a law firm called Latham and Walkins, where there was not a single person who was out.

“I eventually came out when I was a fourth or fifth year associate and I became the first out lawyer in the firm’s history, though there were other gay lawyers at the firm.”

Now, at 68, Zbur says that his only regret is that he lived in the closet for too long.

“When I look back at the things I regret, it’s that I lived in the closet for as long as I did,” he said. “That is a very limiting thing that I think doesn’t allow your soul or your spirit to flourish.

NATIONAL

Dems reintroduce Equality Act on Trump’s 100th day in office In a unified display of support for LGBTQ rights on President Donald Trump’s 100th day in office, congressional Democrats, including leadership from the U.S. House and U.S. Senate, reintroduced the Equality Act on Tuesday.

The legislation, which would prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, codifying these protections into federal law in areas from jury service to housing and employment, faces an unlikely path to passage amid Republican control of both chambers of Congress along with the White House.

Speaking at a press conference on the grass across the drive from the Senate steps were Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (N.Y.), House Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi (Calif.), House Democratic Whip Katherine Clark (Mass.), U.S. Sen. Tammy Baldwin (Wis.), who is the first out LGBTQ U.S. Senator, U.S. Rep. Mark Takano (Calif.), who is gay and chairs the Congressional Equality Caucus, U.S. Rep. Chris Pappas (N.H.), who is gay and is running for the U.S. Senate, U.S. Sen. Cory Booker (N.J.), and U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley (Ore.).

Also in attendance were U.S. Rep. Sarah McBride (Del.), who is the first transgender member of Congress, U.S. Rep. Dina Titus (Nev.), U.S. Rep. Mike Quigley (Ill.), and rep-

resentatives from LGBTQ advocacy groups including the Human Rights Campaign and Advocates 4 Trans Equality.

Responding to a question from the Washington Blade on the decision to reintroduce the bill as Trump marks the hundredth day of his second term, Takano said, “I don’t know that there was a conscious decision,” but “it’s a beautiful day to stand up for equality. And, you know, I think the president is clearly hitting a wall that Americans are saying, many Americans are saying, ‘we didn’t vote for this.’”

A Washington Post-ABC News-Ipsos poll released Sunday showed Trump’s approval rating in decline amid signs of major opposition to his agenda.

“Many Americans never voted for this, but many Americans, I mean, it’s a great day to remind them what is in the core of what is the right side of history, a more perfect union. This is the march for a more perfect union. That’s what most Americans believe in. And it’s a great day on this 100th day to remind our administration what the right side of history is.”

Merkley, when asked about the prospect of getting enough Republicans on board with the Equality Act to pass the measure, noted that, “If you can be against discrimination in employment, you can be against

George Santos gets 87 months in fraud case Disgraced former Republican congressman George Santos was sentenced to 87 months in prison on Friday, after pleading guilty last year to federal charges of wire fraud and aggravated identity theft.

“Mr. Santos, words have consequences,” said Judge Joanna Seybert of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of New York. “You got elected with your words, most of which were lies.”

The first openly gay GOP member of Congress, Santos became a laughing stock after revelations came to light about his extensive history of fabricating and exaggerating details about his life and career.

His colleagues voted in December 2023 to expel him from Congress. An investigation by the U.S. House Ethics Committee found that Santos had used pilfered campaign funds for cosmetic procedures, designer fashion, and OnlyFans.

Federal prosecutors, however, found evidence that “Mr. Santos stole from donors,

Former U.S. Rep. GEORGE SANTOS (Blade photo by Christopher Kane)

used his campaign account for personal purchases, inflated his fund-raising numbers, lied about his wealth on congressional documents and committed unemployment fraud,” per the New York Times.

The former congressman told the paper this week that he would not ask for a pardon. Despite Santos’s loyalty to President Donald Trump, the president has made no indication that he would intervene in his legal troubles.

CHRISTOPHER KANE

discrimination in financial contracts, you can be against discrimination in mortgages, in jury duty, you can be against discrimination in public accommodations and housing, and

Senate Democratic Leader CHUCK SCHUMER (N.Y.) and Democratic members reintroduce the Equality Act, April 29.

(Blade photo by Christopher Kane)

so we’re going to continue to remind our colleagues that discrimination is wrong.”

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which was sponsored by Merkley, was passed by the Senate in 2013 but languished in the House. The bill was ultimately broadened to become the Equality Act. “As Speaker Nancy Pelosi has always taught me,” Takano added, “public sentiment is everything. Now is the moment to bring greater understanding and greater momentum, because, really, the Congress is a reflection of the people.”

“While we’re in a different place right this minute” compared to 2019 and 2021 when the Equality Act was passed by the House, Pelosi said she believes “there is an opportunity for corporate America to weigh in” and lobby the Senate to convince members of the need to enshrine federal anti-discrimination protections into law “so that people can fully participate.”

CHRISTOPHER KANE

Second lawsuit filed against White House passport policy Lambda Legal on April 25 filed a federal lawsuit on behalf of seven transgender and nonbinary people who are challenging the Trump-Vance administration’s passport policy.

The lawsuit, which Lambda Legal filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Maryland in Baltimore, alleges the policy that bans the State Department from issuing passports with “X” gender markers “has caused and is causing grave and immediate harm to transgender people like plaintiffs, in violation of their constitutional rights to equal protection.”

Two of the seven plaintiffs — Jill Tran and Peter Poe — live in Maryland. The State Department, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, and the federal government are defendants.

“The discriminatory passport policy exposes transgender U.S. citizens to harassment, abuse, and discrimination, in some cases endangering them abroad or preventing them from traveling, by forcing them to use identification documents that share private information against their wishes,” said Lambda Legal in a press release.

Zander Schlacter, a New York-based textile artist and designer, is the lead plaintiff.

The lawsuit notes he legally changed his name and gender in New York.

Schlacter less than a week before President Donald Trump’s inauguration “sent an expedited application to update his legal name on his passport, using form DS-5504.”

Trump once he took office signed an executive order that banned the State Department from issuing passports with “X” gender markers. The lawsuit notes Schlacter received his new passport in February.

“The passport has his correct legal name, but now has an incorrect sex marker of ‘F’ or ‘female,’” notes the lawsuit. “Mr. Schlacter also received a letter from the State Department notifying him that ‘the date of birth, place of birth, name, or sex was corrected on your passport application,’ with ‘sex’ circled in red. The stated reason was ‘to correct your information to show your biological sex at birth.’”

“I, like many transgender people, experience fear of harassment or violence when moving through public spaces, especially where a photo ID is required,” said Schlacter in the press release that announced the lawsuit. “My safety is further at risk because of my inaccurate passport. I am unwilling to subject myself and my family to the threat of harassment and discrimination at the hands of border officials or anyone who views my passport.”

MICHAEL K. LAVERS

LOSANGELESBLADE.COM • MAY 02, 2025 • 07

VIEWPOINT

KEVIN NAFF is editor of the Washington Blade.

Reach him at knaff@washblade.com

TRAITOR: Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has blood on his hands Nation’s highest-ranking gay public official is a MAGA sell out

It’s an odd dichotomy: President Trump appoints the highest-ranking openly gay government official in history in Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, yet he launches cruel attacks on transgender Americans.

Make no mistake: Those attacks are claiming lives.

Trans people are killing themselves. I know of one trans person who died by suicide on Election Night, overwhelmed by fear of the incoming administration. Trump’s attacks have driven trans Americans and their families to flee the country and move to Canada, as the Blade has reported.

None of this is hypothetical or melodramatic. It’s real life and happening everywhere.

And so when Bessent was confirmed as Treasury Secretary, I wrote an op-ed urging him to educate Trump about the plight of trans Americans and the destructiveness of the attacks on the community. I waited 90 days for some sign that Bessent has a heart or at least a modicum of decency but sadly, I must report that he does not.

The attacks on the LGBTQ community under Trump keep coming. Last week’s news that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is planning to retire the national 988 crisis lifeline for LGBTQ youth on Oct. 1 is just the latest evidence that this administration doesn’t just dislike us — they want us dead.

“Ending the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline’s LGBTQ+ youth specialized services will not just strip away access from millions of LGBTQ+ kids and teens — it will put their lives at risk,” Trevor Project CEO Jaymes Black said in a statement.

The service for LGBTQ youth has received 1.3 million calls, texts, or chats since its debut, with an average of 2,100 contacts per day in February.

Make no mistake: cutting this service will kill young LGBTQ people.

Just a couple of weeks earlier, Trump’s administration announced the Office of Infectious Disease and HIV/AIDS Policy would be gutted.

“In a matter of just a couple days, we are losing our nation’s ability to prevent HIV,” said HIV+Hepatitis Policy Institute Executive Director Carl Schmid.

And prior to that, Trump issued a series of executive orders targeting the trans community — restricting access to affirming healthcare, banning trans service members from the military, barring trans women and girls from playing sports, eliminating the “X” gender marker on passports, and barring students assigned male at birth from using women’s restrooms.

Let’s be very clear: When you deny someone the ability to use the bathroom, you deny their humanity.

So back to Scott Bessent, the billionaire hedge fund manager now running our economy into the ground. As many Trump protesters have noted: silence is complicity.

And Bessent has been silent on all of these horrific attacks on trans Americans and their basic humanity. He is spineless and a traitor to the LGBTQ community.

Bessent runs the U.S. Treasury and reportedly has Trump’s ear on all matters related to the economy. He could easily push Trump in a better, more compassionate direction, yet there is no evidence he has done that.

“The LGBTQ+ community is counting on openly LGBTQ+ nominees like Scott Bessent to step up for the community,” said Human Rights Campaign President Kelley Robinson after the inauguration. Sadly, it’s become clear we cannot count on Bessent. As I wrote in January, Trump likes his queer people gay, white, cis, rich, and obedient.

Bessent has ignored the Blade’s interview requests.

(And after this is published, I have no illusions he will change his mind.) The mainstream media, increasingly cowed by Trump, have failed to ask Bessent even the most basic questions about his views on trans equality and Trump’s attacks.

As a member of the LGBTQ community, Bessent has a responsibility to at least speak up on behalf of trans people who are suffering. But Republicans today have lost their spines. They genuflect before their Dear Leader, line their own pockets, and leave the rest of us to deal with the consequences.

The crisis is real. People are dying. Trans people especially are suffering. The rest of us must do what we can to mitigate that suffering and to speak out in defense of our trans friends.

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VIEWPOINT

KAREN OCAMB

is the former news editor of the Los Angeles Blade.

She is an award-winning journalist who, upon graduating from Skidmore College, started her professional career at CBS News in New York.

On Pope Francis, Opus Dei and ongoing religious intolerance “Good Friday” set the stage for Saturday’s anti-Trump/ MAGA “Hands Off” protests serving as a timely lead-in to binge-watching Alex Gibney’s two-part HBO political documentary, “The Dark Money Game” on Easter Sunday. In “Wealth of the Wicked,” nefarious Opus Dei —Svengali Leonard Leo strategically seduces politically disappointed Catholic Federalist Society billionaires into subsidizing a scheme to ‘pipeline’ malleable conservative judges to take over the Supreme Court and overturn reproductive rights.

A key victory for “Operation Higher Court” came in 2010 when SCOTUS ruled 5-4 in Citizens United v Federal Election Commission, that corporations and unions have the same First Amendment free political speech rights as individuals—as long as their unlimited cash donations go to 501 c(4)’s or Super PAC slush funds and not directly to candidates. Twelve years later, in 2022, they got their payoff with the overturning of Roe v Wade by Leo-promoted Catholic justices.

But Leo’s political conniving is not the only exploitation of moral corruption. The documentary exposes conservative Christians too.

Gibney’s anti-hero is a former rabid anti-abortion lobbyist named Rev. Robert Schenck. He tells of turning to a fellow conservative in Cleveland, Ohio after Trump won the Republican presidential nomination in 2016 and asking: “Are we really going to do this? We’re going to choose this man who’s inimical to everything we believe?” The other evangelical replied: “I don’t care how bad he is. He’s going to get us the court we need.’”

Schenck explains the unholy alliance between Christian conservatives and Big Business. “Whenever you talked about government regulation, the argument was eventually —‘these same characters who control my business are going to start trying to control your church. So, it’s in your best interests that we defang this monster’— and that brought a lot of religious conservatives over.”

And there’s this: “We have a little aphorism built on a Bible verse: ‘The wealth of the wicked is laid up for the righteous.’ So, yeah, let’s baptize the billionaires’ money.

We can do that — and it eventually brought together this alliance.”

Schenck later reveals an intense epiphany that resulted in regret for how much harm he caused. Not so for Leo. This is an excerpt from Gareth Gore’s comprehensive book Opus, for Rolling Stone Magazine: “DURING THE DONALD TRUMP YEARS, conservatives — led by Leonard Leo — took control of the Supreme Court….

At one Federalist Society event, his good friend Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas jokingly referred to Leo as the third most powerful man in the world, presumably behind the pope and the president of the United States.”

On Monday morning, Pope Francis died. I liked this pope, compared to the others. I covered Creating Change during the AIDS crisis when author Paul Monette delivered his brilliant, scathing denouncement of the Catholic Church, then unexpectedly ripped up a portrait of Pope John Paul II. Pope Benedict XVI was just crotchety cruel.

But Pope Francis —named for St. Francis of Assisi —had that big smile and genuinely seemed to care about migrants, the vulnerable and the marginalized — like us. He even used the word ‘gay’ instead of ‘homosexual.’

Pope Francis’ reply to a question about a Vatican “gay lobby” on a flight from Rio de Janeiro to Rome made global news. “If a person is gay and seeks God and has good will,” he said in 2013. “Who am I to judge? We shouldn’t marginalize people for this. They must be integrated into society.”

POPE FRANCIS (Photo credit: Palinchak via Bigstock)

What did this mean? Welcoming inclusion into a family that officially considers us ‘intrinsically disordered?’

And then there was Pope Francis’ interaction with Juan Carlos Cruz — a whistleblower in Chile’s clerical sex abuse scandal.

“He said, ‘Look Juan Carlos, the pope loves you this way.

God made you like this and he loves you,’” Cruz told The Associated Press.

Meanwhile the Catholic Church Catechism affirmed, “this inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial.”

Ergo, a behavioral choice.

Therein lies the problem.

LGBTQ people are seen largely as individuals with sinful same sex sexual ‘inclinations.’ So when the pontiff touted ‘the equal dignity of every human being,’ and rebuked Vice President JD Vance with the ‘Good Samaritan’ parable, whereby love “builds a fraternity open to all, without exception” — we are still the exception.

Francis was all also human — having to apologize at one point for using a gay slur. But what of the bigger things like, did he know about the Opus Dei takeover of the U.S. Supreme Court when he chastised Vance about deporting migrants? Did he know that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles agreed to pay $880 million to 1,353 people last October, who allege they were victims of clergy sexual abuse?

With a previous payment of $740 million, the total settlement payout will be more than $1.5 billion dollars. Is Leo chipping in to replenish that?

And it’s not over. Earlier this month, Downey Catholic priest Jaime Arriaga, 41, was charged with several counts of child sexual abuse which allegedly happened when he was serving as a transitional deacon at the Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church.

Longtime U.K LGBTQ+ activist Peter Tatchell — who’s campaigned against Catholic homophobia for 58 years — says Pope Francis’ legacy is complicated.

“I extend my condolences to Catholics worldwide on the passing of Pope Francis. While we often disagreed on issues of LGBTQ rights, I acknowledge his more compassionate tone towards sexual minorities. His recent moves to allow blessings for same-sex couples, albeit with limitations, signaled a small but significant shift in Church doctrine,” Tatchell said in a statement.

“However, for millions of LGBT+ people globally, the Catholic Church remains a force for discrimination and suffering. Under his leadership, the Vatican continued to oppose same-sex marriage and trans rights. Catholic bishops lobbied against the decriminalization of homosexuality in many parts of the world. The Vatican still upholds the homophobic edicts of the Catechism, which denounces the sexual expression of same-sex love as a ‘grave depravity’ and ‘intrinsically disordered.’ Francis’s legacy is, therefore, a mixed one — offering some progress, but leaving deep-rooted inequalities largely intact.

“The struggle for LGBT+ equality against a homophobic Church must continue. We urge the next Pope to go further—to end the Church’s support for discrimination, both within the faith and in the wider society.”

LOSANGELESBLADE.COM • MAY 02, 2025 • 09

Rocco’s 2.0 is looking to the past to celebrate the future Matthew Ross’s journey from bartender to new owner of Rocco’s puts him in a unique position to breathe new life into this WeHo hotspot

By ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ COVID-19 hit the queer bar and club life hard and since then, has struggled to regain its footing. There have been location makeovers, new Happy Hour menus and a bevy of new owners sprouting up on the scene to entice new and returning customers.

Rocco’s, one of West Hollywood’s most visible casual eateries and nightclubs is one the latest venues to gain new ownership. Previously owned by an investment group that included Lance Bass, Rocco’s now claims hospitality aficionado Matthew Ross as its new mastermind.

Who better to take over the vibrant spot than Ross? Ross has over 30 years of food and hospitality experience since working at Sizzler when he was just 16. From there, he has worked his way up from bartender, to Director of Food, Beverage and Nightlife, to now being the owner of Rocco’s.

Ross is a California native who grew up in Agoura Hills. His first foray into West Hollywood’s nightlife came by chance when a friend invited him to “18+ Night” at Micky’s.

“We didn’t know anything about gay bars. We had no idea what to do. We had no idea there were these many gay people in the world, we were shellshocked. That’s kind of where it started.”

Ross ended up going to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Downtown, Los Angeles, to study interior design. While he was in school, he worked at some of the bars in West Hollywood and at Micky’s sister bar, Apache, in Studio City. He also got his real estate license, which he still has today, while keeping up his bar jobs. As life would have it, his hospitality career would take over and he found himself in hotels as Director of Food and Beverage. He would also return to Micky’s as a consultant, building the foundation that would make him a miracle worker for locations in need.

“I was a store fixer in a corporate world. I was someone who went to restaurants and bars and had to get them moving back to where the company wanted. So, I’m kind of a pro at going in and fixing things and making them better,” he said.

When the Rocco’s opportunity came about, Ross snatched it up. As someone who understands West Hollywood from an earlier generation, and with his finger on the pulse of what club go-ers want today, he is in a prime place to make some moves in the community.

“I really think it’s time to get back to original, fun West Hollywood because that’s been missing for many years, as far as I’m concerned. I love how free everybody is. We’re all very hard on ourselves and we’re hard on each other. But when we’re in WeHo, we’re in a safe space. That’s what we need in these trying, political times. We need a place where we are safe, and I’m going to make sure that everybody is safe and we’re going to be aligned.”

For Ross, taking over Rocco’s isn’t just about making the club successful. It is also about bringing the nightlife community together as a whole, hearkening back to a time when bars supported other bars because they were so different from each other.

“All the West Hollywood bars need an alliance where we’re all together and we’re protecting our own. But that also includes anyone who wants to join us. We’re not singling out any groups, but we are first and foremost LGBTQ, and that’s where our attention goes.

We’re going to take care of our own.”

Ross’s previous experience also helps him not just on the client side of the experience, but on the business side. As a manager to thousands of employees and hundreds of managers, he knows about dealing with employee issues and California labor issues on many different levels. He understands budgets of all sizes, and he understands the steps it takes to create revenue.

To secure Rocco’s future, Ross is looking to elements of the past that made West Hollywood great. They are going to keep the name for now, are planning to remodel, and will keep sports event viewing as part of the lineup. But entertainment and themed eventswise, you may see a change.

“It’s time to get a lot of my old contacts together. I know a lot of DJs, I know a lot of promoters, not just the typical WeHo ones, but the whole L.A. experience.”

He promises busier nights that include live music, a rarity in West Hollywood and even bringing back an 18+ night, much like the beloved Tiger Heat. The 18+ themed night is

10 • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM • MAY 02, 2025

(Photo courtesy Rocco’s)

what brought Ross to West Hollywood in the first place.

“We need to have somewhere for the young ones to go…a safe place, I’ll say that over and over. I just want to make sure everyone knows that we are back to the old, where we take care of our own. It’s not about money, it’s not about cover charge. It’s about - are you having fun and do you feel safe? And that’s what we’re doing.”

Among West Hollywood nightlife chatter, there is the sentiment that our younger, queer generation is not going out to bars and that the future of club-going might look bleak. Ross does not believe that.

“I have been a manager of Gen Z and Millennials now for 20 years. I’m very well versed in their habits and behaviors, and what I’m seeing, with even Gen Z, is that they want to get out into the world now. They are tired of being online. They’re tired of dating apps that go nowhere. They feel very singular, they’re by themselves even though they have hundreds of friends that they talk to online. They really need to be around other people and see what that’s about and have conversations. It’s not about liquor, it’s not about that; it’s about having a place to go where you actually meet people and you’re not on your phone all night.”

Another throwback to the past that Ross is bringing back is good old-fashioned bar service. There was a time that any Happy Hour in West Hollywood looked like a scene from “Cheers,” where everyone knew your name. Ross knows that power in that.

“Customer service needs to come back. When I walked into the bar, in the old days, my drink was on the bar. When my patrons came into Apache or to Rage or to any of the ones I worked at, the drink was on the bar ready to go. Lately, I have probably spent a zillion dollars at other bars and never was recognized.

We’ve had good bartenders over the years, but a lot of that has gone away. That is coming back to this bar. I’ve talked to my friends who own GymBar and some other locations around town and we’re all going to be on the same page, it is time. This is not just a bar, it’s a business with guests who want to be appreciated for spending their money. And the way money is now with everybody, they’re spending their last dollars to go out and have fun and it better be a good time.”

And Ross’s message to the community?

“Everybody, let’s come together. Let’s just cut out all the crap. It’s time. We’re all sisters, brothers, lesbians, trans, everything. We have to have each other’s back right now. We have a little part of the world, which is really a big part of the world because we know what West Hollywood brings to the LA area. We’re one of the biggest gay areas there is, period.

We need to start coming together and giving all our brothers and sisters our business, there’s lots of small businesses around here other than bars that need our help.”

FILM

Jacob Elordi rides high in ‘On Swift Horses’ Sony Pictures’ promotions avoid referencing queer sexuality of main characters

By JOHN PAUL KING You might not know it from the publicity campaign, but the latest big-screen project for breakout “Euphoria” actor and sex symbol Jacob Elordi is 100% a gay love story.

Alright, perhaps that’s not entirely accurate. “On Swift Horses” – adapted from the novel

by Shannon Pufahl and directed by Daniel Minahan from a screenplay by Bryce Kass – actually splits its focus between two characters, the other of which is played by “Normal People” star Daisy Edgar-Jones; but since that story arc is centered around her own journey toward lesbian self-acceptance, it’s unequivocally a “Queer Movie” anyway.

Set in 1950s America, at the end of the Korean War, it’s an unmistakably allegorical saga that stems from the marriage between Muriel (Edgar-Jones) and Lee (Will Poulter), a newly discharged serviceman with dreams of building a new life in California. His plans for the future include his brother Julius (Elordi), a fellow war vet whose restlessly adventurous spirit sparks a kindred connection and friendship with his sister-in-law despite a nebulously strained dynamic with Lee. Though the newlyweds follow through with the plan, Julius opts out in favor of the thrill of a hustler’s life in Las Vegas, where his skills as a card shark gain him employment in a casino. Nevertheless, he and Muriel maintain their friendship through correspondence, as he meets and falls in love with co-worker Henry (Diego Calva) and struggles to embrace the sexual identity he has long kept secret. Meanwhile, Muriel embarks on a secret life of her own, amassing a secret fortune by gambling on horse races and exploring a parallel path of self-acceptance with her boldly butch new neighbor, Sandra (Sasha Calle), as Lee clings obliviously to his dreams of building a suburban family life in the golden era of all-American post-war prosperity.

Leisurely, pensive, and deeply infused with a sense of impossible yearning, it’s the kind of movie that might easily, on the surface, be viewed as a nostalgia-tinged romantic triangle – albeit one with a distinctively queer twist. While it certainly functions on that level, one can’t help but be aware of a larger scope, a metaphoric conceit in which its three central characters serve as representatives of three conflicting experiences of the mid-century “American Dream” that still looms large in our national identity. With steadfast, good-hearted Lee as an anchor, sold on a vision of creating a better life for himself and his family than the one he grew up with, and the divergent threads of unfulfilled longing that thwart his fantasy with their irresistible pull on the wife and brother with whom he hoped to share it, it becomes a clear commentary on the bitter reality behind a past that doesn’t quite gel with the rose-colored memories still fetishized in the imagination of so many Americans.

Fortunately, it counterbalances that candidly expressed disharmony with an empathetic perspective in which none of its characters is framed as an antagonist; rather, each of them are presented in a way with which we can readily identify, each following a still-unsatisfied longing that draws them all inexorably apart despite the bonds – tenuous but emotionally genuine – they have formed with each other. To put it in a more politically-centered way, the staunch-but-naive conformity of Lee, in all his patriarchal tunnel vision, does not make him a villainous oppressor any more than the repressed queerness of Muriel and Julius make them idealized champions of freedom; all of them are simply following an inner call, and each can be forgiven – if not entirely excused – for the missteps they take in response to it That’s not to say that Minahan’s movie doesn’t play into a tried-and-true formula; there’s a kind of “stock character” familiarity around those in the orbit of the three main characters, leading to an inevitably trope-ish feel to their involvement – despite the finely layered performances of Calva and Calle, which elevate their roles as lovers to the film’s two queer explorers and allow them both to contribute their own emotional textures – and occasionally pulls the movie into the territory of melodrama.

Yet that larger-than-life treatment, far from cheapening “On Swift Horses,” is a big part of its stylish appeal. Unapologetically lush in its gloriously photographed recreation of saturated 1950s cinema (courtesy of Director of Photography Luc Montpellier), it takes us willingly into its dream landscape of mid-century America – be it through the golden suburbs of still-uncrowded Southern California or the neon-lit flash of high-rolling Las Vegas, or even the macabre (but historically accurate) depiction of nuclear-age thrill-seekers convening for a party in the Nevada desert to watch an atom bomb detonate just a few

12 • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM • MAY 02, 2025

The stars of ‘On Swift Horses’ (Image courtesy of Sony Pictures)

short miles away. It’s a world remembered by most of us now only through the memories and artifacts of a former generation, rendered with an artful blend of romance and irony, and inhabited by people in whom we can see ourselves reflected while marveling at their beauty and charisma.

As lovely as the movie is to look at, and as effective as it is in evoking the mix of idealism and disillusionment that defines the America of our grandparents for many of us at the start of the second quarter of the 21st century, it’s that last factor that gives Minahan’s film the true “Hollywood” touch. His camera lovingly embraces the beauty of his stars.

Edgar-Jones burns with an intelligence and self-determination that underscores the feminist struggle of the era, and the director makes sure to capture the journey she charts with full commitment; Poulter, who could have come off as something of a dumb brute, is allowed to emphasize the character’s nobility over his emotional cluelessness; Calle is a fiery presence, and Minahan lets her burn in a way that feels radical even today; Calva is both alluring and compelling, providing an unexpected depth of emotion that the film embraces as a chord of hope.

But it is Elordi who emerges to truly light up the screen. Handsome, charismatic, and palpably self-confident, he’s an actor who frankly needs to do little more than walk into the scene to grab our attention – but here he is given, perhaps for the first time, the chance to reveal an even greater depth of sensitivity and truth, making his Julius into the film’s beating heart and undisputed star. It’s an authenticity he brings into his much-touted love scenes with Calva, lighting up a chemistry that is ultimately as joyously queer-affirming as they are steamy.

Which is why Sony Pictures’ promotions for the film – which avoid directly referencing the sexuality of its two main characters, instead hinting at “secret desires” and implying a romantic connection between Elordi and Edgar-Jones – feels not just like a miscalculation, but a slap in the face. Though it’s an eloquent, quietly insightful look back at American cultural history, it incorporates those observations into a wistful, bittersweet, but somehow impossibly hopeful story that emphasizes the validity of queer love.

That’s something to be celebrated, not buried – which makes “On Swift Horses” a sure bet for your must-see movie list.

OSVALDO GOLIJOV’s

A CLASH OF DICTATORS AND POETS

THE LIFE, LOVE AND LEGACY OF

Federico García Lorca WED, MAY 7 CHRISTOPHER KOELSCH SEBASTIAN PAUL AND MARYBELLE MUSCO PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

JAMES CONLON

RICHARD SEAVER MUSIC DIRECTOR

APRIL 26 THROUGH

MAY 18

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ADVICE

I make more money than my partner and getting resentful She’s taking advantage of a joint credit card

By MICHAEL RADKOWSKY Hi Michael, I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).

But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back.

Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?) I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget.

And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.

She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.

If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me.

Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.

Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.

Michael replies: For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.

Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford?

That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay

for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.

What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.

That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.

It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet.

Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.

If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?

There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.

Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?

Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway? Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?

Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves

14 • LOSANGELESBLADE.COM • MAY 02, 2025

in the same miserable situation, over and over again.

What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.

I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe.

You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg. Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.

Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.

You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position.

One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.

(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to michael@michaelradkowsky.com.)

BOOKS

A boy-meets-boy, family-mess story with heat New book offers a stunning, satisfying love story

By TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER Happy is the bride the sun shines on.

Of all the clichés that exist about weddings, that’s the one that seems to make you smile the most. Just invoking good weather and bright sunshine feels like a cosmic blessing on the newlyweds and their future. It’s a happy omen for bride and groom or, as in the new book “When the Harvest Comes” by Denne Michele Norris, for groom and groom.

Davis Freeman never thought he could love or be loved like this.

He was wildly, wholeheartedly, mind-and-soul smitten with Everett Caldwell, and life was everything that Davis ever wanted. He was a successful symphony musician in New York. They had an apartment they enjoyed and friends they cherished. Now it was their wedding day, a day Davis had planned with the man he adored, the details almost down to the stitches in their attire. He’d even purchased a gorgeous wedding gown that he’d never risk wearing.

He knew that Everett’s family loved him a lot, but Davis didn’t dare tickle the fates with a white dress on their big day. Everett’s dad, just like Davis’s own father, had considerable reservations about his son marrying another man – although Everett’s father seemed to have come to terms with his son’s bisexuality. Davis’s father, whom Davis called the Reverend, never would. Years ago, father and son had a falling-out that destroyed any chance of peace between Davis and his dad; in fact, the door slammed shut to any reconciliation.

But Davis tried not to think about that. Not on his wedding day. Not, unbeknownst to him, as the Reverend was rushing toward the wedding venue, uninvited but not unrepentant. Not when there was an accident and the Reverend was killed, miles away and during the nuptials.

Davis didn’t know that, of course, as he was marrying the love of his life. Neither did Everett, who had familial problems of his own, including homophobic family members who tried (but failed) to pretend otherwise.

Happy is the groom the sun shines on. But when the storm comes, it can be impossible to remain sunny.

What can be said about “When the Harvest Comes?” It’s a romance with a bit of ghost-pepper-like heat that’s not there for the mere sake of titillation. It’s filled with drama, intrigue, hate, characters you want to just slap, and some in bad need of a hug.

In short, this book is quite stunning.

Author Denne Michele Norris offers a love story that’s everything you want in this genre, including partners you genuinely want to get to know, in situations that are real. This is done by putting readers inside the characters’ minds, letting Davis and Everett themselves explain why they acted as they did, mistakes and all. Don’t be surprised if you have to read the last few pages twice to best enjoy how things end. You won’t be sorry.

If you want a complicated, boy-meets-boy, family-mess kind of book with occasional heat, “When the Harvest Comes” is your book. Truly, this novel shines.

‘When the Harvest Comes’

By Denne Michele Norris | c.2025, Random House | $28 | 304 pages LOSANGELESBLADE.COM • MAY 02, 2025 • 15