Localanswer_issue8

ocal L Issue 8 May 2011

Answer

Tel 01642 483304

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Billingham, Norton, Wolviston & Wynyard Edition •Bedding Plants & Hanging Basket Plants •Hanging Baskets •Plant Feeds & Pest and Disease Control •Decorative Gravel & Compost •Wild Bird Feed & Accessories Spring is when your garden really starts to come alive!

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Page 2 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

DUKES WAY, TEESSIDE INDUSTRIAL ESTATE, THORNABY TS17 9LT

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The Local Answer

May 2011

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Page 4 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

The joys of married life It’s a strange fact that choosing the right partner in a good marriage can be the greatest thing to happen in your life. Conversely, choosing the wrong person at the outset can lead to a life of misery and suffering. And since I have both bitter and joyous experience of the two sides of that particular spectrum I feel competent to comment! That’s how I know that being able to look from the outside can often give us a laugh at some of the humorous aspects of a bad relationship. Here are some great examples!

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady and immediately tried to lay down the rules. Now you’re my wife,’ he said, ‘I’ll expect you to have dinner on the table whenever I feel inclined to come home. If I want a night out with the lads every night I’ll go and I don’t expect any hassel from you. I’ve always gone to football matches and that will continue and I’ll carry on fishing, boozing and playing cards with my buddies and don’t try to give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.

Any comments?’ His new bride just looked at him and said ‘No, that’s fine with me.

Just understand I’ll be having sex at eight o clock every night in this house whether you’re here or not.

A husband and wife were having a quarrel on their 40th wedding anniversary and the husband yells ‘When you die I’m getting you a headstone that reads ‘here lies my wife – as cold as ever.’ ‘Yeah?’ she replied, ‘well you’d better hope I go first because if you die before me your headstone will read ‘Here lies my husband – stiff at last!’

A husband and wife are having a fight and the husband – a doctor – gets up in rage and yells ‘and you’re no good in bed either,’ and storms out of the house. After a little while he realizes he was a bit nasty so he rang her from his surgery to make amends.

After many rings she answered the phone and the irritated doctor said ‘what took you so long to answer the phone?’ She said ‘I was in bed.’ ‘In bed this early,’ he said, what were you doing?’ ‘Oh,’ answered his wife, ‘I was just getting a second opinion.’

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud, in fact, that he starts calling his wife ‘Mother of six’ in spite of her objections. One night the two went to a party and when the man decides it’s time to go home he looks round for his wife who is deep in conversation with some friends. He therefore shouts across the room ‘Shall we go home, Mother of Six?’ His wife, irritated by her husband’s continued lack of discretion shouts right back ‘Any time you’re ready, father of four!’

A man and his wife were having problems and so had, for several days, been giving each other the silent treatment. Unfortunately the husband needed to be up at 5am to take an early morning business flight and being a heavy sleeper he always needed his wife to wake him. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and lose face he therefore left a note on her pillow ‘Please wake me at 5am.’ Next morning he awoke to discover it was 8am and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he saw a note on the bedside cabinet that said ’It’s 5am. Wake up.’

Men are clearly not equipped for these kind of contests, a fact probably best explained by the words of a famous oft-married film star who stated that ‘God may have made man before woman but for every great masterpiece there is always an initial rough draft!’ Perhaps she was right!

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

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Page 5

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Page 6 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

The Darwin awards are out again for this year!

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when we present the Darwin Awards, honouring the least evolved among us. These are all genuine stories from newspapers around the globe proving that if men really did evolve from apes some of them didn’t quite make it!

Unlike most award ceremonies we start with the glorious winner: 1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach , California wouldbe robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to an insurance company. The company, presuming negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.

Their agent actually tried the machine for himself and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. He actually shot her. Somehow we find that quite understandable!

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the

patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

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Page 8 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

The Darwin awards are out again for this year! (Part2) Continued from page 6 8. As a female shopper left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her bag and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.

The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.

The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they

weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal petrol, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

The most frightening thing about these stories is that these people actually walk among us. They can reproduce!

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The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 9

DON’T DELAY

Make Your Will This May and Support the Butterwick Hospice DO YOU OWN A HOUSE? OWN A VEHICLE? HAVE MANY POSSESSIONS? HAVE LIFE INSURANCE? If you have answered Yes to any of the above questions the next question you should ask yourself is how soon and where can I draw up a Will.

By drawing up a will you will gain peace of mind by knowing that you have provided properly for all your loved ones future.

During May, Butterwick Hospice is working in partnership with a local Solicitors firm to help you make a Will. The Solicitors are giving their time and expertise and all we ask is that you consider making a donation to the Hospice of £70 for a single Will and £90 for a pair of matching Wills.

Contact: Mrs R Young - TRUSTLAW - 01642 888088

WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE A WILL?

Here are five good reasons!

1. To make sure that your money, property and possessions are passed on the way you want.

2. If you have young children, to choose who will look after them if neither parent is alive.

3. To say what is to happen if your whole family is killed in a car crash or accident.

4. To arrange for burial or cremation.

5. To leave a legacy to charity.

B

Butterwick Hospice Care ...because every moment counts

For further information, please contact Ray Laidler on 01642 628930 Registered Charity No: 1044816

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Page 10 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Kite surfing will be back this month Kite-surfing is one of those fun-looking sports that very few will ever try, even though - according to the experts - it’s completely out of this world. A fusion of windsurfing, surfing and paragliding combined into one extreme sport makes it one of the most invigorating around!

For those unfamiliar with the kite surfing, surfers will use their board either with or without foot-straps or bindings and will combine it with the power of a large controllable kite to propel both him and the board across the water. Experts practice a number of styles with freestyle the most common, utilizing a standard kite and surfboard. Wake-style is used on flatter water and uses both board and bindings and perhaps the most exciting is wave-riding which focuses on the really big waves.

Because of its superb tides and swells Redcar has previously hosted the ‘Kiteival’ – one of the sport’s’ international events and it will again be seen this year on May 6th, 7th and 8th. The itinerary is as follows: 6th May – Pro men and pro ladies freestyle kitesurfing, kitelandboard and kitebuggy.

7th May - Amateur men, amateur ladies, seniors, youths and juniors.

8th May – To be confirmed.

The sport – and particularly this event - attracts many enthusiasts to the area so it is becoming an increasingly important aspect of East Cleveland’s tourist attractions.

Go along and enjoy the action!

Photographs by Simon Gaunt

Sudoku There is really only one rule to Sudoku: Fill in

the game board so that the numbers 1 through 9 occur exactly once in each row, column, and 3x3 box. The numbers can appear in any order and diagonals are not considered. Your initial game board will consist of several numbers that are already placed. Those numbers cannot be changed. Your goal is to fill in the empty squares following the simple rule above.

Answers on page 24 For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 11

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Page 12 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Is sixty five the new forty?

My father always considered that reaching the grand old age of sixty five represented the end of one’s useful life because legislation allowed employers to replace anyone who reached what was then considered quite a venerable age. As a local government officer, in fact, his services were automatically dispensed with on that particular birthday and he genuinely thought he had been thrown on the scrap heap! Recent changes in the law, however, now mean that anyone who so desires can continue to work for as long as they are physically able.

Having recently reached that milestone myself that pleases me because I certainly don’t feel old and I’m definitely not ready to retire just yet. What is even more acceptable, though, are the advantages that come just because you have reached sixty five.

The old adage about life beginning at forty has always puzzled me because - let’s be honest – the only thing that changes when you move from being thirty nine one day to forty the next is the number. Reaching sixty five, however, brings with it a load of advantages that are as pleasant as they are surprising. The recent addition of 1% on national Insurance payments, for instance, would have irritated me this time last year. Now, I find, it is no longer appropriate to me because as a sixty five year old I no longer have to pay it. In similar vein, the recent budget gave additional tax allowances to the over 65s so we ‘oldies’can actually earn a bit more before we pay any tax. Then comes the bus pass! I was actually entitled to it when I reached sixty but didn’t bother. Since my wife has now become sixty and is also eligible we went to the local Council Offices and claimed them together. It took ten minutes and they were charming and helpful. We are now the proud owners of a piece of plastic that can not only vouch for our age but can get us all over the place for nothing. More importantly, it gives us free access to the local ‘Park and Ride’ so no more bus fares, no more searching for a parking space in the city with the considerable cost that entails and – above all - exceptional convenience.

And then the real advantage of being a pensioner – the pension itself! Like many people I took out a private pension when I was first married only to discover that as a young father with a mortgage I couldn’t afford it. I suspended it – supposedly temporarily – when the third child came along. It was never resurrected but the company involved contacted me before my 65th birthday with the news that over a long period the initial pension value had accrued considerably so I was entitled to a substantial 25% lump sum and a further not unwelcome amount for life. Add to that the state pension (to which I am fully entitled having contributed from starting work at sixteen) and I suddenly feel that I have never been better off. That, of course, doesn’t apply to everyone and there are still many people who are finding it difficult to exist on purely a pension. In general, however, help is widely available to people who find themselves in genuine hardship and a super website exists that gives all sorts of information on what you are able to claim. Try entitledto.com and see what you are missing out on.

As for me, I think that sixty five is definitely the new forty!

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 13

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Our comprehensive range of products has been designed to offer both quality and versatility to any bathroom, so enjoy shopping with Rubber Duck Bathroom where luxury for less becomes reality.

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Page 14 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Brigade rewarded for inclusively Cleveland Fire Brigade has landed an award for its efforts to promote equality.

Phil Lancaster, the Brigade’s Director of Community Protection was recently presented with the Middlesbrough LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) Inclusion Award by Lesley Duggan, LGBT Inclusion Officer with Middlesbrough Voluntary Development Agency.

Mr Lancaster, the LGBT Champion for the Brigade, said: “I am delighted to receive the award on behalf of Cleveland Fire Brigade.

“The award is in recognition for all the excellent work Cleveland Fire Brigade has done in promoting equality in the area of LGBT issues.

“It reflects, not only our ongoing commitment to ensure equality in the service we provide to the residents of Cleveland, but also our workforce. This Award sends a clear message to our employees and the community that all aspects of diversity are important and inclusively is integral to everything we do.”

The following Brigade initiatives helped to win the award: • Hosting a PRIDE community breakfast event prior to attendance at Middlesbrough Supergay • Attendance at Middlesbrough Supergay with community safety information.

• Developing a transgender awareness policy for Brigade employees.

• Flying the rainbow flag which is a clearly recognised symbol of the LGBT community.

Test your general knowledge

1.Who is the current Chancellor of the Exchequer?

2.How many players of an American Football team are allowed on the field during play?

3.By what name was US frontierswoman Martha Canary better known?

4.Along with Annie Lennox, who was the other member of the duo ‘The Eurythmics?’

5.Which country identifies itself as Helvetia on its stamps?

6.What is the boiling point of water in Fahrenheit?

7.How many legs to lobsters and crabs have?

8.Following the closure of Wembley for re-development, how many F.A Cup Finals were played at the Millennium Stadium?

9.Which 1961 American musical film won ten Oscars including those for best film and best director (Robert Wise) 10.Which of these politicians won the most general elections as leader of his or her party? Harold Wilson, Winston Churchill or Margaret Thatcher?

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

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Page 16 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

The world’s funniest adverts – not intentionally, of course!

It always amazes us that newspapers print a variety of adverts without really seeing the significance of what is being said.

The following are all classified ads genuinely taken from published newspapers and are superb examples of how much proof readers miss.

Braille Dictionary for sale. Must be seen to be appreciated.

For Sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

For Sale: Four poster bed.

Perfect for antique lover.

Housekeeper Wanted : Widower with school age children seeks person to assume general housekeeping duties and must be capable of contributing to the growth of the family.

For sale: complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.

45 volumes in excellent condition are no longer required because I just married a woman who knows everything.

Puppies free to a good home. Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbour’s dog.

Wanted : Singer for rock band. Must be male or female.

Parachute for sale. Never opened. Used once.

Lost: small brown poodle, neutered, like one of the family.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days.

Auto repair service. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere else again.

For Sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Washing and Ironing: we do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it by hand.

Used Car Sale: Why go somewhere else and be cheated? Come here first!

We will service your Dog for sale. Eats anything sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for and is fond of children. only $10.00 Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or beef Illiterate? Write today for $2.25. Children $2.00 free help.

Coffee break humour Paddy was writing an invitation list for a party he was planning. He was a bit stuck so he turned to his pal who was with him at the time and said ‘Hey Murphy, what’s Sean’s surname?’ ‘Sean who?’ asked Murphy.

A Billingham lad was due to meet his girlfriend at eight o clock, but turned up at half past bruised, battered and covered in blood. ‘Sorry I’m late, pet’ he said, but I just fell out of a third storey window.’ ‘And that took you half an hour?’ she screamed.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

OFFROADNORTHEAST If you live anywhere in the North East UK and own a Landrover, Range Rover, Discovery, Suzuki, Daihatsu, Toyota, Jeep, Vauxhall or other 4x4 and you are interested in off road driving then you have come to the right place .

Meet other 4x4 offroad lovers locally and find out information on local events, shows and services . Joining our 4x4 offroad community and forum is FREE!

visit: www .offroadnortheast .co .uk

Deadline For The Next Edition is:

Thursday 19th May

For Alterations / Cancellations

Page 17

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Page 18 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Understanding engineers It always a puzzle that people demean certain occupations by stereotyping those involved.

Engineers, for instance, are always considered to be humourless workaholics who shy away from the kind of fun we ordinary people enjoy. So here are a few examples of stories created around the profession that attempt to confirm that belief.

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here’s the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him. "He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us?

They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a

group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea.

I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons.

Civil engineers build targets.

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Three engineering students were

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 19

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Page 20 The Local Answer

May 2011

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Understanding engineers (part 2) continued from page 18

gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you

kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?

I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool! "

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The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 21

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Page 22 The Local Answer

May 2011

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The Origins of the Great Hit Singles.

‘Wooden Heart’ – Elvis Presley, fifty years on!

It’s hard to believe that it is now fifty years since the release of ‘Wooden Heart,’ the most successful single spawned from the soundtrack of one of Elvis Presley’s most popular films ‘G.I Blues.’ An obvious attempt to milk the fact that Elvis had undertaken his two years’ national service in the U.S army, the film was released as a romantic comedy in 1960. It was shot at Paramount's Hollywood studios with some pre-production scenery taken on location in Germany before Presley left the army.

‘Wooden Heart’ reached and stayed at number one for six weeks in the UK, yet despite its success over here it wasn’t released as a single by Elvis in the United States until November 1964 – but only as the B-side to "Blue Christmas." By then the song had enjoyed considerable success with singer Joe Dowell making it to number one in the states in 1961 and spending three weeks at number one in the American ‘Easy Listening ‘ charts.

Created by Fred Wise, Ben Weisman, Kay Twomey and German bandleader Bert Kaempfert, the song was based on a German folk song by Friedrich Silcher, "Muss i' denn zum Städtele hinaus.." ‘Wooden Heart’ features several lines from the original folk song with Elvis singing two parts in German. The first is the first four lines of "Muss i' denn zum Städtele hinaus", and the second - towards the end – being based on a translation of the English version so not appearing in the original German folk lyrics. This part - "Sei mir gut, Sei mir gut, Sei mir wie du wirklich sollst,” literally means "Be good to me, be good to me, be to me how you really should, how you really should..."

One of the most important aspects of the release was that since Elvis never actually appeared in this country and was therefore not able to showpiece the record on shows like ‘Top of the Pops,’ whenever the song was aired on TV it was shown as an excerpt from the film. In the actual scene Elvis sings the song at a puppet show – pretending to serenade the lady puppet but actually targeting his female co-star Juliette Prowse.

It was the forerunner of the now standard music video. But where normally they are shown over the track itself - thus alleviating the need for the artiste to perform live it was not the case with the filming of ‘Wooden Heart.’

The song has since become something of a folksy classic and has also been recorded – without success – by Bobby Vinton and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. It was an inevitable hit because the country simply couldn’t get enough of Elvis at the time and ‘Wooden Heart’ was one of a series of seven number ones in a run of nine releases.

The only two not to make it to the top were ‘Wild in the Country’ which made it to number 4 and ‘Follow that Dream’ which was an E.P released from the film of the same name.

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The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 23

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Page 24 The Local Answer

May 2011

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Welcome to spring – & Jersey Royal potato!

One of the nicest aspects of spring is the arrival on the scene of the superb ‘Jersey Royal’ - traditionally the first real new potatoes of the year. There's no mistaking the taste of Jersey Royal New Potatoes as their unique flavour comes from Jersey's rich fertile earth, gentle climate and the way their farmers grow them. They've been doing it for generations and every time you taste a Jersey Royal it’s obvious how much expertise has gone into their production. To do them real justice why not try this superb feast of Cornish crab — one of England’s finest ingredients — and Jersey royal potatoes in a light, fresh springtime salad.

Ingredients.

300g Jersey royals 2tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1tbsp lemon juice Sea salt and pepper 1tbsp of chopped fresh mint or parsley 100g rocket leaves or cress 2 ripe tomatoes 200g fresh crab meat 1tsp capers, rinsed 1 lemon, quartered METHOD Prep time : 15 min Cook time : 15 min : Serves two Scrub the potatoes and cook them in simmering salted water for 15 to 20 minutes or until tender. Drain them well and cut into bite-sized chunks or slices. Whisk the olive oil with the lemon juice, sea salt and pepper, toss the potatoes and mint or parsley in the dressing and leave to cool for 10 minutes or so.

Wash and dry the cress or rocket leaves. Cut the tomatoes in half, then squeeze out and discard the seeds and juice. Roughly chop the flesh.

Lightly toss the crab meat, cress or rocket leaves, tomato and capers with the potatoes, and divide between two dinner plates. Garnish with the lemon quarters.

Serve with crusty bread and a glass of chilled Riesling or champagne – gorgeous!

Solutions Answers 1.

George Osborne 2.

Eleven 3.

Calamity Jane 4.

David A Stewart 5.

Switzerland 6.

212 degrees 7.

Ten

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Six 9.

West Side Story 10.

Harold Wilson (four victories)

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The Local Answer

May 2011

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Page 26 The Local Answer

May 2011

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Quick thinking lad helps save mum’s life thanks to Nintendo DS A local lad swapped quick fingers on his Nintendo DS to quick thinking to help save his Mum’s life after a blaze at their home.

Jake Goode, aged 12, from Guisborough was presented with a Chief Fire Officer’s Commendation on Friday 25 March 2011, after his quick thinking, improvisation and action probably helped save his Mum Louise‘s life.

The pair avoided serious injury in the house blaze and on Friday Jake’s actions earned him the Jake Goode in the centre, Mum Louise (right), Dad Mick (left) joined by firefighters praise of Cleveland Fire Authority from Coulby Newham Fire Station who nominated him for this award as he received his commendation certificate from the Chief Fire Ian Hayton, Chief Fire Officer, said: Officer Ian Hayton.

“Jake’s quick thinking to use his Nintendo DS as a light source to help On Tuesday 14 December 2010 Jake guide himself and his Mum out of the woke up to an orange glow coming from house probably saved their lives. The the airing cupboard in his bedroom. An fact that the house had a working smoke electrical fault on the immersion heater alarm fitted was also a factor in the had sparked the blaze causing a leak positive outcome of this incident.” from the water tank which had tripped the electrics.

Jake’s parents Mick and Louise said “We are both proud of Jake and what he did.

The smoke alarm went off, but Jake He is our hero.” realised his Mum had not woken up.

Unable to turn on the lights and with Councillor Mrs Jean O’Donnell, Chair of smoking filling the room Jake grabbed Cleveland Fire Authority, said: “Jake’s his Nintendo DS Lite and used the glow quick thinking helped save both of from the screen to guide himself and their lives and emphasises the need for he was able to wake his Mum and take smoke alarms and a well thought out them both to safety. escape route for your family should a fire happen at home.”

Jake received his commendation from Ian Hayton, Chief Fire Officer, Cleveland To help keep you and your family safe Fire Brigade, in front of the Members of from fire, the Brigade provides free Cleveland Fire Authority, his parents Home Fire Safety Visits and will fit and the crews from Coulby Newham smoke alarms if needed. Call 01429 Fire Station who nominated him for this 874063 to arrange a visit to your home award. and you will receive specific fire safety advice for you and your family.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 27

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Page 28 The Local Answer

May 2011

A vital three months Because of the events of the past four years it isn’t too dramatic to say that the next three or four months are going to be among the most important in the history of Middlesbrough football club. Failure to once again compete in the promotion race next year would see crowds dwindle even further and once on that downward spiral it’s virtually impossible to arrest it. Tony Mowbray has already begun to stamp his own personality on the team and how it plays and he is now in a position to increase that influence with a decision on who should stay, who should go and who – if anyone – should come in during the close season. But because of the obvious financial restraints that now exist they are vital decisions that are not going to be easy. There may still be a chink of light at the end of the tunnel though because recent comments after sealing safety from any lingering relegation fears suggest that he is under no pressure to raise money by selling even more of the academy potential that has performed so creditably in the current seven match unbeaten run.

Recent performances during those seven games must give every Boro fan renewed optimism for next season, especially when on no fewer than five occasions – they have had to come back from being a goal down.

A steely determination has been injected into the play that had been sadly missing during the tenures of both Southgate and Strachan and the melee against Barnsley that saw all but two involved in protecting their own suggest there is now a togetherness that really must be nurtured and used to our benefit.

Asked about the futures of the younger players now showing excellent signs of realising their considerable potential, Mowbray said ‘If you’re talking about the Bennetts and Steeles they’ve signed new deals so there’s no threat on them. Their salaries aren’t at a level where we need to offload. We don’t have to sell anybody we don’t want to sell. Everyone is aware of the situation with finance, though, and if an offer comes in for some of the high earners

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then we have to listen.’

It’s fairly obvious that the ‘high earners’ are the Strachan signings. Kris Boyd, Kevin Thompson, Andy Halliday, Stephen McManus, Barry Robson, Willo Flood , Scott Macdonald and Lee Miller all arrived from the SPL and Nicky Bailey was signed from Charlton. Most have disappointed.

Boyd and Miller are currently on loan at Forest and Scunthorpe respectively and we can only hope they play out of their skins and stay put! Kevin Thompson and Willo Flood have both been injured for the majority of their time on Teesside and have consequently proved bad investments.

Andy Halliday has only just begun playing again after a long absence, as has Stephen McManus so the jury is still out on both of them. That leaves Barry Robson, Nicky Bailey and Scott McDonald and because they have definitely contributed, losing the other six would go a long way towards the desired reduction in the wage bill.

It may mean relying on the ‘kids’ again but in case you haven’t noticed they are starting to mature. Rhys Williams, Matthew Bates, Tony McMahon, Jason Steele, Joe Bennett, Andrew Taylor, Andrew Davies, (second time around) Seb Hines and Jonathan Franks have all played vital parts in the season and can now be relied on. Add other exceptional talents that are emerging from the academy like Connor Ripley, Ben Gibson, Bruno Pilatos, Richard Smallwood, Cameron Park and Luke Williams and there may still be an exciting future ahead.

We don’t have Arab or Russian magnates to rely on. But we do have a Chairman who’s an actual fan and we should be supporting him as he has supported us over the years.

You surely can’t have forgotten those incredible UEFA cup nights that were a direct result of his continued sponsorship.

Let’s hope not, anyway, and let’s also hope that next season we can once again see a push for the top being created by a bunch of ‘Boro lads who care as much about the club as we do.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk

The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 29

THE BEST WAY TO ATTRACT LOCAL CUSTOMERS The Local Answer publication is the most effective way to attract local customers. Its convenient A5 size and monthly format makes it easy to keep handy in a drawer or by the telephone. An alphabetical index of services, at the back, is always at hand and easy to use.

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INDEX OF ADVERTISERS

Animal Hutches/Kennels

Domestic Cleaning

Kitchens

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

Dust & Shine . . . . . . . . . Page 7

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 27

Bathrooms

Gel Cleaning . . . . . . . . . Page 25

Landscaping

Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . Page 13

Double Glazing

Creative Landscapes . . Page 3

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 27

Andy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7

First Class Landscapes Page 1

Beauty Supplies

Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 17

Unique Landscapes . . . Page 31

Hair Order . . . . . . . . . . . Page 8

NU Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21

Mobility Aids

Bedrooms

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

Stockton Mobility . . . . . . Page 5

Space Master . . . . . . . . Page 11

Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 25

Motorhome Hire

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 27

Driveways

Sunset Motorhomes . . . Page 15

Blinds

Unique Builders . . . . . . . Page 31

Oven Cleaning

AWE Blinds . . . . . . . . . . Page 19

Driveway Cleaning

Hobsnobs . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

First Impressions . . . . . . Page 5

Plumbers

Builders

Estate Agent

Gas Appliance Service . Page 25

Bramley Builders . . . . . . Page 5

Property Angel . . . . . . . . Page 3

GTS Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 3

Gel Property . . . . . . . . . .Page 25

Fascias & Soffits

Renewable Energy

Unique Builders . . . . . . . Page 31

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

USC Renewable . . . . . . Page 7

Cafe

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 15

Roofing Services

Kings Coffee . . . . . . . . . Page 3

Fencing

Bramley Builders . . . . . . Page 5

Car Body Repairs

Unique Landscapes . . . Page 31

New Plas . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 19

Car Spa . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 2

Fitted Wardrobes

NW Roofing . . . . . . . . . . Page 21

Carpet Fitting

Space Master . . . . . . . . Page 11

SG Roofing . . . . . . . . . . Page 15

DM Flooring . . . . . . . . . . Page 11

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 27

Saxophonist

Charity

Flooring

Ray Dales . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5

Butterwick Hospice . . . . Page 9

DM Flooring . . . . . . . . . . Page 11

Sheds

Cladding

Garden Maintenance

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

Creative Landscapes . . Page 3

Solar Power

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 15

First Class Landscapes Page 1

USC Renewable . . . . . . Page 7

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

Garden Nurseries

Stair Lifts

Cleaning (Domestic)

Sir Plants Alot . . . . . . . . Page 1

Stockton Mobility . . . . . . Page 3

Dust & Shine . . . . . . . . . Page 7

Guttering

Wills

Gel Cleaning . . . . . . . . . Page 25

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

Butterwick Hospice . . . . Page 9

Cleaning (Exterior)

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 15

Window Repairs

First Impressions . . . . . . Page 5

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

Andy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7

Cleaning (Ovens)

Hair & Beauty Supplies

Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 17

Hobsnobs . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7

HairOrder . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 8

NU Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21

Conservatories

Health & Safety

Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 25

Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 17

Norton Safety . . . . . . . . .Page 17

D.I.Y Stores

Heating

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

Fires N Fireplaces . . . . . Page 20

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 15

Gas Appliance Service . Page 25

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32

GTS Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 3 Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . Page 23

www.local-answer.co.uk Deadline for the next edition is Thursday 19th May To advertise call 01642 483304

Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions. Multiple insertions depend on available space.

The Local Answer

May 2011

Page 31

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www.screwsnthings.co.uk YOU CAN ORDER ONLINE AND COLLECT SAVING MORE MONEY Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors The Local Answer is produced by Solutions NE insertions Ltd (01642) 483304 Printedspace.

by Acorn Web Offset (01924) 220633 orMedia omissions.

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