THE TAKEAWAY
By Moira Kenny-Campbell
© Moira Kenny-Campbell 2022
Chris, owner of Princes Chippy, High Park Street feeding the pigeons. (Before the ASBO) Photo Credit: Moira Kenny-Campbell
Background
Moira Kenny-Campbell was commissioned as Artist in Residence in 2006, by TIC Housing and LCC to stop the arguments between the Pro and Anti Demolition Groups set up during the decantation of residents and to help people live with change and uncertainty as they were losing their homes.
The 10 streets known as the Welsh Streets, Toxteth were part of the HMRI plan to demolish 400,000 Victorian terraced houses in Northern cities in England under the Governments discredited Pathfinder Programme.
The fictional comedy is a play that takes place in a Greek chip shop on High Park Street – the Anti-Demolition HQ, on the day the chippie closes the doors for good.
Sections of the script are verbatim. The day the woman from the Government went into the Empress Pub and told customers she would buy them a pint if they would be filmed by the BBC saying the houses needed to be demolished is true.
The Artist taking the Chippy home is also true!
CHARACTERS:
ANTONIO, OWNER, LEADER OF THE (ANTI DEMOLITION PARTY)
PROUD, STRONG, CURLY HAIRED, DIE-HARD COMMUNIST, DRESS: GREEN STRIPED PINNY, CHECKED SHIRT, DARK TROUSERS AND WELLIES.
PATSY, OWNER’S WIFE (NEUTRAL) AND TIRED OF IT ALL
SMALL, THIN WIRY WOMAN WITH RED CHEEKS WITH THE SERIOUSNESS OF IT ALL. DRESSED IN A SMART SKIRT/BLOUSE AND POLYESTER OVERALL
DONNA MCKENZIE, FRYER CHEF (ANTI OR PRO) DEPENDING ON WHO SHE IS TALKING TO. AGONY AUNT
DRESSED UP IN FASHIONABLE CLOTHES FROM GREAT HOMER STREET MARKET WITH A BEEHIVE HAIR-DO BUT DRESSED DOWN BELOW THE COUNTER HEIGHT WITH POP SOCKS AND FLUFFY SLIPPERS
BRENDA MCKENZIE: LEADER OF THE (PRO DEMOLITION PARTY) AND HEAD OF THE TOXTETH CARES PARTY (TCP)
MIDDLE AGED BUSYBODY FULL LENGTH DESIGNER LEATHER COAT ON
THE ARTIST DRESSED IN 1940’S CLOTHES.
30 SOMETHING, COMMISSIONED BY THE HOUSING TO STOP THE FIGHTING BETWEEN THE PRO AND ANTI DEMOLITION GROUPS
ANDREAS, (APATHETIC) LAZY AND FULL OF MAD IDEAS
PATSY AND ANTONIO’S GRANDSON, VERY CHEEKY, YOUNG HANDSOME HIPSTER, LIPA STUDENT, IN A BAND OBVIOUSLY
DRESSED LIKE THE BEATLES IN THEIR LEATHER YEARS
TIME, EARLY
AFTERNOON
SETTING
The shop is in the middle of a once busy high street in Toxteth, Liverpool. Antonio (Toni) is busy cooking on the final day before the shop closes down. He is making home-style meals for the last time for the few remaining residents who are living in streets with tinned up windows.
The Chippy staff, Andreus, the grandson and Brenda McKenzie, The Head of the Pro-Demolition ‘Toxteth Cares Party’ (TCP)are in the shop.
People come and go shouting: ‘Bye’ ‘Ta-ra’
Large removal boxes occupy the space. Communist posters and memorabilia are on the walls next to a menu and a Liverpool Echo Best Chip Shop Award.
Balloons and ‘Sorry your Leaving’ cards from customers on the counter and on the floor.
The remnants of a kebab on a spit is on the windowsill next to a money plant.
A baby belling oven with two rings is on the left side near the door.
Sunlight streams through the shop window.
SCENE 1
Brenda the TCP Customer is reminiscing and saying goodbye and thanking Antonio and Patsy who are packing up the shop. Brenda hands balloons and gift to DONNA fryer chef.
BRENDA
Best of luck girl, Aww, it’s horrible isn’t it. Tara-Tara-Tara
DONNA
Have you seen the state of her eyes? (Pointing to Patsy) Yesterday, she was sobbing in here, she went home, she was sobbing there, she was sobbing when she got up this morning... now her eyes are like that!
BRENDA
Bet she feels better though, it’s just depressing isn’t it. Aww! Gonna miss you Hun... gonna miss you all
DONNA
They’re lovely balloons thanks Patsy look, balloons and a prezzie!
PATSY
Thanks, love
OPENS THE PRESENT
What is it? It looks like a bit of white plastic.
DONNA
I think it’s one of those thingies that goes inside a toilet roll or a bit off a fridge
PATSY
I’ll treasure that thanks love.
We started up this business with just £50 in the till. A gift from my brother.
I know how hard life can be.
PATSY WIPES THE SURFACES WITH A CLOTH AND VINEGAR
ANTONIO IS SHOUTING FROM THE BABY BELLING WAVING THE 12” KNIFE HE IS USING TO CUT UP LIVER AND ONIONS
ANTONIO
They want-a the poor people out.
PATSY
Toni turn it off, its too late for liver and onions. I’ve turned the fryer off.
ANTONIO
I’m making one last supper for old Mrs G in No. 29. Poor woman.
PATSY
She’s gone Toni, the house is tinned up. She has gone to the
cottages, or the sheltered housing for people over 50.
Either that or she’s dead.
ANTONIO
Bastards, taking my lovely chippy from me, the council and government. Cowboys, giving me an ASBO for feeding the birds.
We should start a bastard revolution, that’s what we should do. Taking my work from me
PATSY
It is time to retire Toni, I’m tired. I don’t want to come to work every day at my age. I don’t want to be smelly anymore. We can’t smell it ourselves, but we smell of chips. No matter how many times we wash our clothes. Even when we go on holiday, I can smell chips when I open the case.
Antonio is quietly swearing his head off behind Nancy’s back Nancy speaks to audience
A working-class hero, that’s what he is, feeding families around here hit by unemployment or hard times with fresh nutritious meals and all the leftovers.
There are two kids who come here at 11 o clock every night at closing time. They are starving, waiting to be fed like little birds, while their mother and father stagger home from the pub, terrible it is.
What are they going to do without us?
SHOUTS TO ANTONIO OVER HER SHOULDER
I want to retire Toni, live off the profits for the rest of me life
ANTONIO
What profits? I gave them away to the people. I fed the people free of charge Patsy. They are hungry. Living in a struggle
ANDREUS SITS ON A BOX AND SINGS WORKING CLASS HERO TO THE CUSTOMERS STRUMMING HIS GUITAR BADLY
PATSY YOU DID WHAT?
ANTONIO
Patsy, where do you think the money came from to feed the people? There is no profits.
Bloody Government saw to that.
PATSY
Okay, okay… Andreas pass me your guitar
SHE PICKS UP THE GUITAR TO SMASH IT ON THE COUNTER
ANDREAS
What the hell? She’s gone mad.
ARTIST RUNS INTO THE CHIPPY OUT OF BREATH
ARTIST
The BBC are outside.
ARTIST LOOKS OVER TO PATSY
Patsy, I didn’t even know you could play guitar?
They are coming over here to film now, they want to talk to you Toni
ANTONIO IS PACKING AWAY EQUIPMENT IN BROWN PAPER, LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER WITH A LARGE KNIFE IN HIS HAND
They want to film the closing of the Chippy you are going to be on the telly tonight
ANTONIO
Over my dead bastard body
DONNA
Shut up! You’re messin’?
ARTIST
No, I swear. I just went over to the pub and there’s a big crowd outside. The woman from the Government said she wouldn’t let her grandmother live around here.
The landlady won’t serve anyone.
DONNA
Cheeky cow. She wouldn’t let her grandmother live in Toxteth?
ARTIST
No, she wouldn’t let her live in Liverpool
PATSY
Good job Bessie Braddocks dead she would have had her guts for garters… or she would have shot her
ANDREAS
TAKES THE GUITAR OF PATSY AND STARTS SINGING
‘Help I need somebody’
ANTONIO
Shut up of your singing boy. 45 years ago we moved in to this chippie. We bought our children up upstairs. I have fed hungry people, good food and what do I get?
I tell you what I get, I get fed up.
Lock the door we are not letting the BBC or anyone from the bloody Government in.
DONNA
FIXING HER MAKE-UP
How are customers going to get in Toni if you lock the door?
Oh God is it Kate Adie?
ANTONIO
No-one is going anywhere. I need to think.
PATSY
For Christs sake Toni, just don’t talk to them, open the door love. You can’t stop the bulldozers. They will be here tomorrow we need to carry on packing.
ANTONIO
RUBBING HIS HEAD THINKING
That’s it! We will take the Government woman hostage until she says she will stop the bastard development and we can keep the shop.
When she comes over from the pub, let her in and then we will go on lock down
PATSY
Are you insane? That matrix van has just slowed down when it went past again
ANTONIO
To hell with them. They will think we are having a party, it’s the last day. They won’t suspect us.
DONNA
You can’t get away with this Toni. Kate Adie has been in all the War Zones she’s not soft.
You will go to prison
ARTIST
Let me get my camera out, I can’t move in here. I need to film this.
POINTS THE CAMERA TO ANTONIO
So Antonio, tell me what your plan is when the BBC arrive with the Government official?
ANTONIO IS MUTTERING TO HIMSELF CHOPPING FOOD
BRENDA
I’ll be the lookout. I’ll stand outside. Let me out and I’ll bang like hell on the window when I see them coming. You all get ready.
I’ll tell them about the subsidence and the damp and the structural damage and the rats and how I set up the Toxteth Cares Party 38 years ago all voluntary –and what a thankless job it is.
ANTONIO
The Toxic Party you mean!
Nobody move, nobody leaves. Especially you Brenda. Let me think.
ANTONIO WALKS UP AND DOWN WITH a 2FT LONG KNIFE IN HIS HAND
PATSY
Someone get him a chair.
ANTONIO
Good idea Patsy, we will tie her to the chair until she changes the Government’s decision. We will stay here until they change their bastard minds.
PATSY
I’m not having anything to do with this Toni. It’s over now. The bulldozers are coming and you can’t do anything about it.
Do you want to look like a crank on the telly?
I’m not waiting for you if you go to jail.
I’m washing me hands of it now.
ARTIST
POINTING THE CAMERA AT DONNA
So, Donna, what are you going to do tomorrow as you have basically lost your job, how do you feel about the situation?
DONNA
SMILING INTO CAMERA
Well, I have got myself a little kiosk in town, I’m going to be selling sandwiches and the like to the office workers. Not expensive ones like the ones in that Pret.
No, I’m going to make what people really want. Like, cheap sausage butties. Do you know what I mean? No one really likes those dear ones with lumps in. Stuff like that.
And cups of Nescafe and Maxwell House for a quid, you know real coffee that people enjoy. I’m looking forward to it you know.
Thank you.
BOWS TO CAMERA
ARTIST
In a nutshell, for funding purposes, what’s your ethnicity and sexual preferences?
DONNA Yer what?
ARTIST
Oh forget it, I hate having to ask these questions. What difference does it make if you’re straight, heterosexual, gay, trans, bi, pink, yellow or green. You’ve just lost your job!
DONNA
Are you trying to say I’m a lipstick lesbian just because I
drink in the Lisbon?
ARTIST
IGNORES DONNA. POINTS CAMERA AT PATSY
Patsy, you, more than anyone, understand the people around here and the effect moving from their homes and friends is going to have on them. How do you think people will adapt when they move? The elderly like Mrs G? How old is she 94? Where will they go?
PATSY
I will adapt, but it’s not so much me, there’s two old ladies in Rhiwlas Street and they spend all their time in each others houses. In the winter they save a few bob by having one gas fire on. Do you know what I mean?
There does seem to be a strategic plan to get rid of the working class and move the gentrified in.
They are pushing the poor working class families away. 440 houses they are going to demolish in the Welsh Streets. They have harvested them to benefit developers and landlords. The people around here won’t be able to afford to come back and rent them never mind buy them.
They came around here and saw how happy people were, how multicultural and cosmopolitan it was and how close we are to town and the parks and the River, and that was that.
They decided to take homes and careers away from the people with compulsory purchase and eviction. They offered people £1000 cash to move. Some people hadn’t seen that much money before and took it. Not realising they were too old to get a mortgage.
BRENDA
Hold on lets get this right… Even John Prescott said it would be fantasy to try and restore these crumbling terraces.
Everyone around here has been consulted. The TCP carried out the consultation people have come from all over to learn from our consultation model.
If people have a problem, they come here to the chippy to talk to Toni, but really, they are supposed to come to us.
I’m not saying we always can help, as the saying goes “if we can’t help them we know someone who can”.
We deal with everything now. We just used to deal with repairs. We all work voluntarily
We are Pro-Demolition because of the state of the area.
Oh Yeah, yeah, we sympathise with people because they are losing their homes... even people in the TCP have lived here all their life, they were born in the house, husbands died in the house but they want to go to get away from the damp and the rats.
We are not trying to persuade or threaten no one.
Nobody has put a Gun to their heads to make them move.
ANTONIO
Consultation don’t make me laugh. A meeting in a school?
People sitting there with blank looks on their faces, all nodding their heads.
When I was speaking, I could see them all thinking
‘I wish he would shut up’
You know why? Because they had already made their bloody decision.
They are pushing working class families away.
BRENDA ANGRY
Ay you, I’ll have you know, people have come from everywhere for our consultation. We are known all over the country as the Pilot Scheme for everything.
The Government, the Council you name it. We’ve had people from Russia, Norwegians, Arabs.
We’ve even had people from Speke to see how we work and how we go about things.
You know... people setting up in their own communities, street reps, newsletters, getting grandparents online and all that.
ARTIST
POINTING CAMERA AT BRENDA
Brenda, how do you feel when people say you take backhanders from the council and developers? And you all work 9 -5, five days a week surely that can’t be voluntary? Why would anyone in the right mind do that?
BRENDA HARD AS NAILS IN TO CAMERA
All I can say, is, no one has actually said about backhanders and that to me face, and if they want to come and tell me that…
Well, they all know where I live and where I work and I’ll be sitting there waiting for them.
They haven’t got the guts to say that to my face. Trust me.
ANTONIO CALMLY
Six of one
BRENDA
POINTING IN ANTONIO’S FACE
The majority are in support of demolition
ANTONIO
Six of one BRENDA
The Toxteth Cares Party is a charity, we don’t have much, but we give back to the community.
We muster the operation and the people do the work. When the new people move in. We will still be a community.
ANTONIO
Six of one BRENDA
I’ve already moved to one of the new houses. I was one of the first to move, I had my pick of the houses and it’s lovely.
ANTONIO
And half a dozen of the other.
PATSY IS PRODDING ANDREAS TO HELP PACK AWAY, HE’S TAKING NOTES SITTING ON THE BOX
ANDREUS
Get off man, I’ve just had a brilliant idea. I’m gonna make a short film about this political situation. I saw this heavy film last week when I was in me mates this kid put toys in a cupboard, they came to life, and he made the decisions if they lived or died it’s a bit like this and then one arl fella...
LOUD KNOCK ON THE DOOR BLUE FLASHING LIGHTS
Nancy
Shut up Andreas go and see who is at the door, don’t let them in.
ANDREUS MOVES WITH IMPORTANCE TO THE SIDE OF THE STAGE WHERE THE DOOR IS.
MUFFLED VOICES OFF STAGE. EVERYONE STANDS QUIETLY
ANTONIO
BREAKS SILENCE
PATSY IS CLEARING STUFF INTO BOXES
That’s your fault Brenda. You have upset Patsy now
BRENDA
Shut it Toe Before I shut it for yer
ARTIST. SHE GOES OUTSIDE
I’ll go and see what they want.
OFF STAGE BUT LOUD ENOUGH TO HEAR
Thank you for your time and contribution to the Welsh Streets Art project. This is a real opportunity for the Police to make a valuable contribution to your area and this community. Part of this interview might be used in the future in that okay?
MUFFLED AGREEMENT
And for funding purposes if you could share with me your ethnicity and sexual preferences?
No I’m not joking, actually.
Okay fine, forget it
Yes, I will go back inside now officer.
ANDREUS SWAGGERS BACK IN WITH ARTIST
ANDREUS
I’ve had another brilliant idea! I’m on a roll today.
PATSY
What did they want Andreus?
ANTONIO
What did they want boy? Gonna give me another bastard ASBO for breathing?
ANDREUS
They wanted a baker’s dozen of your special salt and pepper scallops, 1 egg fried rice, 1 Special curry and chips, meat
and potato pie and chips, a no 65 and prawn crackers and chips, five …
ANTONIO
This is a sad day. My curry sauce went all over the world in cartons. They even went as far as Hong Kong
PATSY
Toni we are not coping! You make everything sound like a fairy tale
ANDREUS
And wait for it... Six large battered Cod and chips and two large cartons of mushy peas and a big sausage.
WINKS PATSY
Have they gone?
Did you tell them we are closed? Did you tell them it’s too late? Why didn’t you tell them Andreus we are just having a party while we are packing up?
No one is arguing.
ARTIST
I told them, it’s okay. They have gone on a chippy run to Lodge Lane with the blue light flashing and the siren blazing.
LAUGHS ANDREUS
Battered fish. BATTER? Do you get it? That’s my idea.
We will batter the woman from the Government when they come to film here.
Get on the front page of all the papers, I can see it now. LIPA student saves the Welsh Streets. Or Liverpool Musician, forward slash, human rights campaigner stands up for everything or handsome, no, talented young emerging artist…
erm saves...
PATSY
Don’t start that again, I’m not having any violence and don’t get Toni started again
ANDREUS
Get the chair ready, this is where we’ll sit her down,
TO ARTIST
You turn your camera on ready to capture it all. We will pour the batter over her head and cover her in flour.
ANTONIO
Good idea boy.
DONNA
Aw I think I’m going cry, I just realised, how thoughtful you were Chris always using gluten free rice flour for all the people who are sensitive to wheat and loads are round here, cos of the Liverpool Irish connection, and all them Coeliac’s with no tolerance to wheat because of all the spuds they ate and you were so thoughtful to all them vegans. Proper inclusive.
BRENDA
Don’t remind me of that one over the road, bloody dirty Irish
DONNA
I find that very offensive Bren, especially as my entire family are from Ireland and 97% of Liverpool is and wasn’t your Dad from Dublin? He would turn in his grave if he heard you talking like that.
BRENDA
That Siobhan! She had rats clawing at her back kitchen door because of all the bin bags she had thrown in the entry. Rats scratching away at the door, bloody disgusting it is.
DONNA
On about rats again, are we? I see you put posters of rats in the winda’s of your office. All the rats are going into the tinned up houses the posters say.
They should tin up the streets, street by street not one house here and there.
Someones gonna be eaten alive.
Mind you, the rats do keep going into Peter’s cos he’s got a big front bush that sticks out so much.
ANDREUS
I don’t know who designed the posters but technically the rats would be 6ft tall if they were too scale.
Hold on, wait
LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW
Oh my God you won’t believe what I can see. Jesus
PATSY
Are they on their way here?
Toni, you behave
Say nothing.
ANDREUS
STRAINING TO LOOK OUT
No, Do you know that woman who cares for the woman in the middle of Madryn?
You should see the state of her head, her roots are a mess.
DONNA
Are they? Lets have a look
Andreus
She’s just gone into Adams
DONNA
Oh God. Do you remember the woman who went shopping in her swimming cozzy in the Summer? She was about 40
LAUGHS
Aww! The memories…
The Kurdish family in Powis love it around here and now they are going to have to move again, they were only put in that house because the housing couldn’t get that family to move out.
“Let’s force them out by putting refugees in next door” That big fella said.
That worked they were gone in a week
ANTONIO
Those poor refugees just when they had settled and made a home from wherever they had fled from. It’s sad because they were like one big family in that street, sitting for hours on the steps, all the neighbours having a laugh sitting outside, peeling spuds. It’s sad that.
We will not know where our friends and comrades have gone
Some parts of this city are like a war zone. I hope they don’t end up there, reminding them of their past.
PATSY
We had to get a new door at the back cos they were trying to get into our kitchen.
BRENDA
The refugees?
NANCY
No, the rats.
We can’t open the windows cos the flies come in after they have been eating the rats. We can’t take a chance.
Shelly in no 12 has got one in her attic… scratching away all night.
She’s got a rat in the attic and a little baby in the front room, she can hear the scratching over the telly and the baby crying.
Shelly wants to stay around here though. It’s just terrible.
Her mothers going through the change as well. She looked like death eating a cracker last time I saw her.
BRENDA
What about all the unmarried mothers? These houses aren’t big enough for them, they will need 3 or 4 bedrooms the way they carry on.
ARTIST
I’m going back over to the pub to see what’s going on. I’ll be back in two minutes. Can someone let me out please?
ANTONIO LETS THE ARTIST OUT AND STARTS TO QUIETLY PLAN WITH ANDREUS TO MIX THE BATTER UP
PATSY
Donna put all the trays and plastics in that box over there, they might be able to be recycled. Andreus, take the menu down
Andreus!
ANDREUS
Alright lah, I’m just texting me mate he wants to go to the gym
WINKING AT ANTONIO
ANTONIO MOVES THE CHAIR IN TO POSITION CENTER STAGE. PATSY MOVES IT BACK.
ANTONIO MOVES IT BACK TO CENTER
BRENDA
Let me out Pats. I’ve got work to do. I’ve got a meeting with The Head of the Residents Association she’s a real artist, international… she wasn’t born down the road like her...
PATSY FUMING
You are going nowhere Brenda! Not until you admit it was you.
All those threatening phone calls late at night. Threatening us with a solicitor.
‘You’ll lose everything’ you said to me.
Had a drink that night, hadn’t you? Didn’t disguise your voice.
We have known each other for 40 years our kids went to the same school and you can do that to me. Well I hope you are ashamed of yourself.
Hang your head in shame you coward. Pure evil.
What are you doing this for? Tell me? What’s in it for you? Doing the council’s dirty work are you now?
All for free? How could you say that to me and you know what day it was.
ANDREUS
Calm down Nan she’s not worth it.
CHANGING THE SUBJECT
I feel sorry for Ringo. I heard someone has cut his head off again
He lived here you know... Madryn Street.
Everyone hates him now. Even though he’s a good drummer, cos he said on the telly that he’s glad he left Liverpool.
Not that we have a drummer in our band, we prefer a drum
machine.
John Lennon, George Harrison and Paul McCartney. They all left. Macca has given a lot back though, he’s alright you know.
I was at school with this lad who lived in the next street to one of his cousins mates. They used to meet on High Park Street and get the bus into town carrying their equipment, you know.
The Beatles, that is, before they were famous hanging out around here. Imagine that.
Ringo made an album of his Mums favourite songs. ‘Sentimental Journey’ the album is called.
The Album cover was a picture of the Empress pub over the road... funny to think they are all in there now, like flies around...
HUMS SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY
ANTONIO
You have hit the nail on the head boy. The thing is, it’s alright, whether you like bastard Ringo or hate him. He was born and bred here and we should use that to our advantage.
Good luck to him he has moved on in the world. I’m not begrudging him, good luck to him. His house is still there to this day and we can rebuild his house, not just his house we can rebuild the community, it is important to me.
The people is the heritage. The houses come second.
He only lived in Madryn Street for a short time then he moved across to Admiral Grove actually, if you get your facts straight. That’s not even getting demolished.
DONNA
Don’t think that makes any difference Bren, he was like a Saint around here everyone until he let us all down.
Ringo’s mother was lovely, and he hardly ever went to school, he had TB. That’s why he is so small to this day even though he ate loads of meat. Every Saturday he would go to the Butchers and pick up the meat and deliver it on his bike. You couldn’t write it, that butcher ended up owning the Cavern but that’s another story.
KNOCK ON DOOR CHRIS AND ANDREUS ON GUARD. ARTIST ENTERS ANDREUS
Hey, what’s happening? What’s going on?
I love that song.
SINGS LIKE MARVIN GAYE
ARTIST
Nothing. They wanted to film me, but I refused and walked away. You should see them in the pub. There is murder going on in there. The Government official is offering to buy people a pint if they go on camera saying the houses should be demolished.
This fella stood in front of the camera and said he would say anything for a free pint. The Landlady shouted ‘Ay you don’t even live around here’ He was passing through delivering something to the Docks
PATSY
Are you alright love? You look tired.
ARTIST
Just emotional thanks. Gabriel Muies told the woman from the BBC that the politics in this council and the government stink.
‘The likes of these developers and consultants don’t listen to us’ he said, they come to us and tell us what we are going to get not what we want’ .
‘First and foremost’ he said, ‘you have got to remember they get paid big money and we have been abused’
He told the council over 10 years ago the Avenue and the Park should be one project. He said to keep the street layout, keep the trees. He got so annoyed with them and they didn’t listen and now they have split the community. He fought hard for the good people around here and the community want to keep them.
He said “The people who are going to build these houses are going to start saying this is a unique part of L8. The mature trees are over 100 years old. We want the names of the streets preserved, some have gone missing. The ones that need to come down... we can preserve the bricks and the Sandstone.
Then he shouted
“WE DON’T WANT A CLOSE WHERE YOU DRIVE IN AND YOU CAN’T GET OUT. ANYONE WOULD THINK WE WERE LIVING IN WALTON JAIL”
DONNA
I bet Kate Adie was made up with him.
ARTIST
It’s not Kate Adie, I don’t know who she is, I have never seen her before in my life. She told Gabe to get out the pub so I walked out with him.
Then the woman from the Government raised a glass and said ‘I will buy a pint for anyone who will go on camera and say the houses need to be demolished’
I said, “I’m not having any part of this I refuse to be filmed’
They said, “You have got to take part in this it’s going on the news at 6’
Do you know that old guy who sits by the door every day? He looked straight at me and smiled and said ‘Do you want a glass of water girl?’ I nearly wept.
He said he grew up with a tree outside his house, lived there all his life and the bulldozer backed into the tree and knocked it down. Right in front of him.
They followed me down Powis Street to 59 in a Jag. I just ignored them. I have heard too much.
I’ve seen too much. The landlady closed the bar. A man, and I’m not going to name names, ran after me and told me he wants to hang himself. I took him home to his wife.
BRENDA
Sentimental clap trap. The houses are damp. I was elected for the community by the community and I know what people want. They want decent housing. 10 people we have got on our committee and all of them want to move.
Pam’s house has moved 8 inches. Why should she live like that? Dirty big cracks right down the walls.
Tommy Tucker is glad to move he should have moved in April, but the road is all dug up cos they found Williamson had built those bleedin’ tunnels under Tesco car park.
He has lived here 25 years and can’t wait to go.
ANTONIO
April Fools Day was the day he was supposed to moving in. That was the bastard joke.
He always wanted to move anyway so you can’t count him.
BRENDA
He is 66 now and got 50% part ownership deal, Good neighbours and what more can you ask for?
He has got a good deal. Double glazed winda’S, central heating, its all alarmed. There is a shoe box right by the front door and he knows his next-door neighbour and the three on top are over 55’s.
The park is still just down the road and the bus routes good on Park Road.
ARTIST
Tommy’s funny, he reckons he will be dead in two years he is only 66! His life ambition was to be in the Merseymart he was in it last week talking about the demolition.
I spoke to the shopkeepers their business has been affected badly. The one in the middle has been here for 34 years and he’s lost most of his customers now with people moving out and Tesco moving in.
The housing said they will demolish the shops and build them up again. The shopkeepers want to stay, they like the area, they like the people.
(TURNS CAMERA ON POINTS TO ANTONIO)
So, as a business owner, what do you think of the houses and shops being demolished in this area
Antonio and how do you feel about people losing their homes?
(PLACING A ROPE NEAR THE CHAIR)
I think it could have been done differently in my opinion, but they rushed through and wouldn’t listen to anyone. People just want maney isn’t it.
People just want maney, it was rushed through. Some people were offered £1000 to leave, they have never had £1000 in their life so they just wanted the maney, too old to move they just want the bastard maney. I have never seen so many people want to leave their house for so little.
Patsy
You are ready to retire Toni.
ANTONIO
(TAKES THE BOWL OF BATTER OFF ANDREUS AND PLACES IT UNDER THE CHAIR)
Yes my love I am ready to retire
They don’t tell you anything do they, they are supposed to consult the people. I think they just consult themselves.
LAUGHS
I’ve heard rumours about backhanders but they are rumours, we stick to facts
It’s just ridiculous, Look at Kelvin Grove there is nothing wrong with the houses, take my friends house, its not even damp, she has got a nice garden, she was consulted by the leader of the Residents association, they ran a campaign… did a petition you know, she has rented that house for 36 years.
Everything is down to money they want people out of the city center, 3 parks within walking distance... anything going on in the Avenue, you just walk down the road, you can walk to town in 15 minutes. Yuppies they want in. The community won’t be able to afford to live in them.
Kelvin Grove isn’t even a Welsh Street and my friends house isn’t damp or falling down it was bombed in WW2 and had to be rebuilt. It’s a waste of money. She had another house pulled down in Northbrook Street, got moved here to this house... built in the 50’s and now this is going to be demolished.
Its the not-knowing that is upsetting.
ANDREUS
I’m going to Adam’s to buy some Gaffa tape. Anyone want anything?
BRENDA
Me. I want to get out of this hell hole
PATSY
What do you need Gaffa tape for?
ANDREUS
To tie up, I mean to seal the boxes we don’t want them opening when the van comes do we?
ANTONIO
Yes, my boy, good idea. We do need Gaffa tape
TOUCHES THE CHAIR AS HE PUTS A BIG BAG OF FLOUR NEXT TO IT
ANDREUS AND BRENDA LEAVE THE STAGE
PATSY
I’m glad I didn’t break his guitar, he is a good boy, a bit
lazy and he fancies himself, but he will do alright, might even be a star himself one day if he can get off that phone
(LOUD SCREAM OUTSIDE)
ANDREUS RUNS IN
Quick Donna come and help me, Brenda has fallen over she thought she saw a rat and jumped and landed funny on her ankle she’s lying on the pavement.
DONNA RUNS OFF STAGE THEY WALK SLOWLY BACK IN WITH BRENDA’S ARMS AROUND SHOULDERS
PATSY
Sit on the chair Bren. I’ll call an ambulance
DONNA
Aww! that was lovely, the Kurdistan family helped Brenda up and they offered to help her home. You know the family on the corner? They are from Iraq. The ones who had the paint thrown at the house last week and the graffiti saying go back to where you came from? That’s not nice is it Bren?
BRENDA
I can’t walk. I have broken my ankle. I am in so much pain. I haven’t even shaved me legs for weeks, now I’m going to have to go to the hospital.
Have you got any brandy? What’s that rope for?
ANTONIO PUSHES THE ROPE AWAY WITH HIS FOOT
DONNA
Bren, don’t be so dramatic and he did just say he was a Doctor but you wouldn’t let him touch you.
I’ve just had an idea lets get in touch with Watchdog and get them to come down here and see how you’re being treated Pats. I’ve seen it on the telly there is 3 of them. Gloria Honeyford, that one with the long legs who was on Morecombe and Wise they always show it at Christmas and someone off Crimewatch.
They sort out rip-off people.
ANTONIO
They can’t sort this out Donna, Pats is right, its too late for us the van is coming in an hour to take all this, my life’s work to the tip.
ARTIST
You can’t take it to the tip, take it to mine I will look after it for you.
PATSY
Aww thanks Love. It’s too late Donna.
Andreus did you call an ambulance?
ANDREUS
No, you said you were going to.
Why do I have to do everything Man?
PATSY
Can’t you see I’m heartbroken here, our kids grew up here and yes, they have all moved away but as far as they are concerned this is the family home.
Ring an ambulance Andreus.
We had a lovely time, when they visit us, every Christmas they
always popped in here to get a meal even though we made a big Christmas dinner in our house.
We always went and sat upstairs on the couch just like the old days.
BRENDA
You make me laugh, heartbroken, you don’t even live around here. You live in the suburbs.
PATSY
I have watched all the neighbours come and go around here, I have minded me own business and come to work every day. Toni has fed people and lost all our savings and you dare to laugh at me?
I go home and close my door and I still know what’s going on around here, you know what I mean.
ARTIST
I got interviewed yesterday by Simon o Brien you know that actor who was in Brookside? It’s on the radio in five minutes do you mind if I listen to it? You know the BBC did up one of the houses for 24 grand? Not the house I am in in Powis Street. The residents said it’s a load of rubbish, they know it cost 38 grand.
I’ll tell you what they want. They want everyone out of this area to build houses for a quarter of a million pound.
It’s on
PLAYS RADIO OUT LOUD. Simon O’Brien recording
Good morning
“Well you know the Biennial is upon us all.
We have had upside down rowing boats up in St Lukes church. Caged stone lions outside St George’s Hall. Big question marks outside Cammell Lairds. So, it came to no surprise when I was invited by a local artist up to Toxteth to travel back through time”
BRENDA
What’s that for Toni? Why have you got a bag of flour there?
ANTONIO
Shut up I want to hear the bloody wireless.
SIMON O BRIEN ON BBC RADIO
Up in Toxteth between Princes Avenue and Park Road there is a huge block of terraced streets known as The Welsh Streets.
They are earmarked for regeneration or, to put it bluntly, the whole lot are being torn down and replaced with modern housing.
Slap bang within the middle of this area is Powis Street and the end house of Powis Street is very odd indeed.
It looks like a 1940’s corner shop there are jars of pear drops, bon bon’s, cough candy there is some cherry blossom dark tan polish, we have got spam, we’ve got Brasso we’ve got some old-fashioned mouse traps to name but a few of the items.
BRENDA
POINTING
TO ARTIST
Why are you obsessed with the 1940’s dressed up like that? I told them you would be trouble.
You were supposed to do some pretty painting with them, not make a film about how they feel about moving. The housing, developers, the council they work with numbers not emotions
PATSY, ANTONIO AND ANDREUS
SSShhh Listen...
SIMON O BRIEN ON RADIO
It is very odd indeed. I am here outside number 59 Powis Street
KNOCKS DOOR OPENS
There is a large neon sign saying ‘Talk To ME’ on the wall
Here is the Artist.
Please explain what on earth is going on?
THE RADIO STOPS
ANDREUS
The batteries dead.
ARTIST
Can you bring it up on your phone? I’ve ran out of credit
ANDREUS’ PHONE RINGS
ANSWERS
No way, yeah man, heavy
yeah bro sound,
yeah, I’m on it
Laters SPEAKS TO AUDIENCE
Does anyone want a puppy?
Me mates bird has just kicked him out.
(BLACKOUT)
SCENE 2
ANDREUS IS PLAYING ON HIS GUITAR SITTING ON A LARGE BOX.
BRENDA IS SITTING CENTER STAGE RUBBING HER LEG. PATSY AND DONNA ARE TAPING UP LARGE BOXES. ANTONIO IS WANDERING AROUND WITH A LARGE KNIFE AND TWO MEAT CLEAVERS.
PHONE RINGS ANDREUS ANSWERS
ANDREUS
Yo!
Heavy
PUTS PHONE DOWN STRUMS GUITAR
PATSY
Are you just going to sit there Brenda and watch us pack up our dreams?
BRENDA
Do you think I’d rather come here than watch the telly! He won’t let me out and I can’t move and I wouldn’t help you even if I could.
How come you let the Artist out Toe?
ANTONIO
She has got work to do, she is washing the steps in Powis Street, she’s even donkeying them.
BRENDA
Call that Art? How is washing steps dressed up like Hilda Ogden Art? It’s a Bloody joke.
Getting paid to swan around as a professional artist while the real international artist in the neighbourhood didn’t get the job and I’ll tell you something for nothing...her international mates are writing books about her.
She doesn’t go around washing bloody steps
ANTONIO
WAVING 2ft LONG KNIVES
She is bringing the community together and working through this bastard situation.
She is talking to people and making a film that will be an historic recording for all the people to see and their children and grandchildren of how this city let the Government rip off the people.
She is documenting the social history of the community. The cleansing of poor people.
It’s the Art of the people. That’s what it bloody is.
BRENDA
JUMPS AND SHIELDS HER HEAD
ARGH! Put the knives down Toe! Patsy tell him to put the knives down.
PATSY IGNORES BRENDA
ANTONIO WRAPS THE KNIVES UP AS THE ARTIST WALKS IN CARRYING A
TRIPOD AND VIDEO CAMERA, CAMERA BAG ACROSS CHEST
ARTIST
I’ve been recording people in the streets. One of the residents has just said these houses will probably be worth half a million pound each when they are rebuilt.
The residents are heartbroken, and their extended families are upset.
And you know Kelvin Grove? That isn’t even one of the Welsh Streets and all of a sudden people are saying it is.
Everything comes down to money. It’s so sad.
BRENDA
Its about time they came down, these houses are old they have been here since before the war. Age has caught up with them just like it has with all of us.
They are bound to be damp aren’t they? The housing cover the cost when people move.
Lots of people have lived in houses that get pulled down, they get moved, then these are getting pulled down. It’s life.
Doctors, Sea Captains Physicians lived around here then it went downhill. What comes around goes around.
ARTIST
Brilliant, I will put the machetes in the box to go to mine Toni, I will look after them for you.
That knife is massive! Thanks. I’ll create an installation in a gallery one day to recall what happened to this area.
Everybody looks after each other around here.
Have you heard about the man that was found in the street and he had been eaten by a dog? He was homeless, he was on his way to see Mrs Bailey, he would knock on her window to see if she was alright, now she is left all on her own in an empty, tinned up street, she is having a hard time.
PACKS AWAY THE KNIVES TURNS TO ANDREUS
It would be good to get you involved in this project, you could play a gig in the street. What’s your band called?
ANDREUS
Well, it was called “The Sprouts of Ideas”
STRUMMING LOOKING DOWN
Just got a call from the bass player, Dave the lead singer has left.
Musical differences man.
We’re calling ourselves ‘The Sprouts’ now. Dave reckons he’s got copyright over the word ‘Ideas’ .
‘The Sprouts’
Got a certain ring to it, more grounded
ARTIST
I need an instrumental track for the film I’m making, if you are interested, I can pay you a fee.
ANDREUS STRUMMING
That’s heavy man. Did you see the BBC? When are they coming to film us?
ARTIST
I went the other way to avoid them. Any minute now I suppose. Toni can I record you please?
SETS UP CAMERA ANTONIO PREPARES HIMSELF GETS PICTURE OF COMMUNIST LEADER AND LIVERPOOL ECHO AWARD TO HOLD
And Action!
Antonio, how do you feel about leaving the Welsh Streets?
The place that was once your home and livelihood?
ANTONIO
This is a rich and powerful country people should be helped.
They put people here years ago because it was cheap rent.
They don’t want them here now.
Quite a lot of posh people lived around here. This was already decided that they will build houses.
Gentrification they call it. They have been intimidating people. Bullied, pushed out.
My shop might be worth more, might be worth less but I want to go in my own way not be threatened.
To buy a chip shop is expensive, They didn’t offer me anything. We should stick up to them.
We were paying VAT, we find it hard to pays bills so we can’t stick out.
Because every bastard one is for demolition the council, the MP, they are like a big gang.
How do I feel you say?
I cried in secret when I found out I had to leave.
I would have liked to stay and then sell my shop not somebody tell me you have to get out and this is what you are worth.
One lady has gone upset in her head, very, very good customers. Since she left her mind has gone a bit unhappy about moving.
Some of the residents say I only paid £200 for my house now I am getting £700! But they don’t understand they only earned £5 a week back then and if they get benefits they can’t afford anything now.
Thatcher came along and all the stock markets and all the profits. What do we have?
No dads. There used to be dads and grandparents. Now its all profits, profits, profits.
When you got no prospects, pay wage and pay council tax and what I make is mine. They advertise things in our faces, wonderful things all the time. If people want these things, you got nothing, they get things on credit, on the never-never and get in to debt or crime. Why shouldn’t they have nice things?
An educated person, a surveyor I met on the train, he said ‘look at the councilors watch, very expensive Rolex’ .
A gift? Don’t make laugh! I told all the people in my shop.
They wanted to take me to court, but nobody could prove it. They threaten me with solicitor
I didn’t say he got a-something.
I said, “Was he getting a-something? a Rolex maybe?
This is my bastard living, yet they slag me off.
Who is going to stand up for you?
They have rivers under the houses they say.
Well, I didn’t see any rivers under the houses.
And you can’t stop rats, rats are everywhere, and you can’t choose a rat. How are they going to get rid of them when they build new houses.
I am happy here and I am not complaining
You can swear in my shop you can talk in my shop.
Ringo’s mother and Aunty used to come in here. His mother would have liked to stay in High Park Street.
She didn’t want to move but other people were going on saying. “Wouldn’t you think Ringo would buy her a house”.
Poor old Harry, he used to live in the front, same as Tom, they used to stand and talk to everybody and now they are lonely in flats where they see no one.
People will get MBE’s for what?
I tell you for what. For threatening people to move. I’m not bragging, we work 7 days a week.
I don’t want an MBE everyone laughed around here.
PATSY WALKS IN TO SHOT
I will miss everyone and I would like to come back to visit. I would like to have a surgery for a couple of hours a week like the MP’s do. I would like that.
You know what you are Brenda? You are common. And while we are at it, who elected you?
I may be sounding a bit nasty, but you used to go drinking over the road and come in the chip shop to have a fag.
Years ago, the pub used to close at half past ten so you would come into the chippy to have a fight with your fella like a psycho.
ARTIST
And CUT!
BRENDA IS ANGRY, LOOKS OUT OF THE DOOR AS THE BBC DRIVE PAST. PATSY GOES MAD AND THROWS BATTER AND FLOUR ALL OVER BRENDA.
ANDREUS PLAYS A RINGO STARR SONG
‘SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY’
PATSY SMASHES THE GUITAR ON THE FLOOR.
KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
ANTONIO
Who is it? Is it the Matrix again. I will get another bastard ASBO for this.
Tell them we are shut.
BRENDA
OH MY GOD!
EVERYONE
Who is it? Shut up Brenda,
Who is it?
BRENDA
It’s a big film crew
PATSY WHO ARE THEY WITH? THEY CAN’T COME IN HERE
BRENDA
Its Paul McCartney!
DONNA PUTS MORE LIPSTICK ON
Oh my God! I love him
ANDREUS
SHOUTING AND RUNNING AROUND
TRYING TO PUT HIS GUITAR BACK TOGETHER
LET HIM IN! THIS IS MY BIG BREAK!
ANTONIO
NO. NOBODY BLOODY MOVE
LOUDER KNOCK ON THE DOOR
Stay where you are. Shh!
Don’t move.
Turn off the lights.
PATSY
Toni? What are we going to do?
LOUD KNOCK ON THE DOOR
ANTONIO SHHH!
CAR SOUNDS DRIVING OFF
BRENDA
He’s gone.
ANDREUS
I just heard my big break drive out of my life, Man
ANTONIO
I know, I know, it was a once in a million life-time opportunity, but we couldn’t open the door looking like this.
Look at the state of us.
ARTIST BRUSHES UP THE FLOUR
PATSY AND DONNA SILENTLY CARRY ON PACKING THINGS IN BOXES
ANTONIO SITS ON THE CHAIR WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS
BRENDA WALKS OUT
BLACKOUT
POLICE SIRENS GO PAST.
THE END
©
Moira Kenny-Campbell 2022 Thesoundagents@gmx.co.uk
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