Life & Times Summer 2015

I am currently visiting Nigeria and I have a sense of relieve that it is a bright new day....

I arrived Murtala Mohammed airport at 5:30AM on Wednesday June 24, 2015 with a red eye Virgin Atlantic flight from London Heathrow and went through the Ebola screening, immigration admission, luggage collection and customs in less than 30 minutes.

I couldn't believe it. My brother who came to pick me up arrived late because he and I assumed that it will be the usual two hours or more drag and hassle through all the admission process into Nigeria and maybe a luggage stolen before it gets to the conveyor belt...

I narrated my experience to a friend later in the day and he laughed and reminded me that the officials at the airport are no fools, because President Buhari has made it very clear that he will lock up anyone found guilty of corruption. The officers at the airport know that they are no exceptions to this rule in this new day in Nigeria.

Everywhere I go, despite the gloom of a struggling economy, dwindling revenues due to falling oil prices, unpaid workers salaries, crumbling infrastructure, epileptic electricity supply, the menace of Boko Haram and other concerns about insecurity...the average Nigerian is upbeat that it is a bright new day and change has SUMMER 2015

come.

It remains to be seen if these high hopes by the people will be dashed. This is especially possible when you consider the deeply fractured nature of the All Progressive Congress (APC), Nigeria's new ruling party. It gives no Nigerian comfort to watch the melodrama unfolding in the national assembly and the inability of the new administration to assemble a cabinet almost 50 days after taking power. It is also unclear who is calling the shots in APC, and some analysts have gone in to say that the APC was united in their resolve to remove President Jonathan and now that he is gone, the party has gone at least five separate ways; closely following the four major political groups that came together to form a united opposition against Jonathan. These groups include the ACN, the ANPP, the CPC and the nPDP/Rochas Okorocha faction of APGA, each jostling for supremacy and influence. How the APC balances these centrifugal forces will determine the stability or otherwise of the Buhari administration, and how it will deliver on its promise of change to Nigerians.

doctors from an Ivy league school, Columbia University, and going ahead to get graduate MBA and MPH degrees from Harvard and Princeton. We also celebrate the glitzy thanksgiving service of the Adefeso family and the 50th Birthday celebration of Sir Chris Okpala and Lolo Angela Ofoegbu.

There are also the other staples that make Life and Times the much sought after and apex publication that it is!!

Chike Nweke Lagos, Nigeria June 30, 2015

As usual in this bumper edition we also celebrate great achievements in our community the triple graduation of the Emeruwa children who did us all proud by graduating as medical LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 3

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CONTENTS 3. From the Desk of the Publisher 8. Cover Story President Muhammadu Buhari, A wind of Change 18. Profile in Excellence Chioma Nwosu-Emezie, Looking greatat 50!

22. People and Places Emeruwa Family Triple Graduation Celebration 36. People and Places Chris Okpala @50, Celebrating A Man of Distinction 44. News and Politics Systemic Change In Nigeria Requires Individual Leadership, Not Party’s 48. Business and Finance Spotlight on Zenith Bank 52. People and Places The Adefeso Family Thanksgiving 58. People and Places Lolo Angela Ofoegbu @ 50 78. Country Profile Swaziland, A royal experience 84. Beauty of the Moment Nkechi Okonkwo

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CONTENTS 86. Youth The Change Nigerian Youths Are Expecting 92. Health & Wellness Sugarolism, The Behavioral Challenge Of Our Time 95. Beauty of the Moment Ivuoma "Ivy" Onyeador, M.A. 96. Fashion and Style House of Mercy 102. Legal Issues Is Your Marriage Valid in the United States? III 108. Style An Exquisite Hair, The Glory of a Woman 110. Music & Entertainment Wiz Kid, Africa's Artiste of the Year 2013 114. Spotlight Ogun State, The Gateway State 118. Health & Fitness I once did a sit-up 120. Iruka's Corner Conversations With Strangers 120. Religion Enemies Of Marriage: How to fortify yours against them

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Cover Profile

President Muhammadu Buhari A wind of Change 8 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

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Cover Profile

The Nigeria that President Muhammadu Buhari took over governance of on May 29,2015 is a country at cross roads in a lot of fronts...

An economy on the brink, destitution and poverty of over 66% of the citizens, youth unemployment levels hovering around 54-70%, dilapidated infrastructure across the country, epileptic power supply, sporadic and severe fuel shortages, the pervasive culture of corruption, the menace of the Boko Haram insurgency and general insecurity across most of the country.

The challenges that the Buhari administration face might appear very daunting but the new head of State has proven in the past to be a man of steely resolve and has said clearly during the electioneering campaign for the Presidency that he will tackle the problems that are bedeviling Nigeria head on.

Buhari believes - and so do a lot of Nigerians - that the major problem afflicting the country is the all pervading corruption in nearly all aspects of the country's life, and that until the SUMMER 2015

cancer of corruption is exorcised, true development will continue to elude the country.

The President's analysis is right. How can one explain that the Nigerian economy is on the brink after the over $60 billion in oil revenues in the past six years with excess crude earnings of over $25 billion; yet the incoming administration inherited an over drawn empty treasury? How can one explain that after spending over $26 Billion in the past ten years on Power infrastructure only

about 40% of Nigeria have access to electricity, and the supply is still very erratic with power outages occurring for days and even weeks, in several parts of the country. How does one explain the poverty levels in Nigeria after billions of dollars spent in several poverty alleviation programs that seem to benefit only the rich who run those programs and does not trickle down to the over 66% of Nigerians who live below $1.2/day, and who badly need these programs.

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Cover Profile How do you explain youth unemployment hovering between 54-70% - depending on the region of the country - despite billions spent in youth employment programs?

How does one explain that despite the huge sums of money spent, the nation’s roads are riddled with pot holes; with educational institutions, health care facilities, airports, government buildings etcetera in several parts of the country being monuments of disrepair and obsolesce?

How does one explain that de-

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spite billions poured into the repair of our refineries none of them is operating at more than 30% of the installed capacity, and the country has to spend billions of dollars annually importing refined petroleum products with the help of the marketers running the fuel subsidy scam.

How does one explain that despite billions of dollars in our defense budget, we have a military that cannot contain the Boko Haram terrorist insurgency and had to rely on South African mercenaries and the

armies of Niger, Chad and Cameroon to stem the menace in North Eastern Nigeria?

How do you explain that despite billions spent "equipping" our police force, kidnappers, armed robbers and other criminals control several neighborhoods in Nigeria and the citizens live at their mercy?

The stunted development of Nigeria can be traced to the cancer of corruption that has become more like the norm with successive administrations in Nigeria. The generality of the

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Cover Profile them. Through bare fisted dictatorship or brazen manipulation of the electoral process, leaders like Robert Mugabe, Mobutu Sese Seko, Idi Amin, Paul Biya, José Eduardo dos Santos, etc dot the African On a positive note, It is a new landscape as festering sores to day in Nigeria our collective psyche.

For the first time in the history Congratulations to Buhari for a of Nigeria, a sitting President well deserved victory and takhas been voted out of power. ing over the reins of power on The significance of this is that May 29, 2015 and to Dr. Goodthis phenomenon is rare in African politics where it is often luck Jonathan for being gracethe norm to have sit-tight lead- ful in defeat. History will be ers who perpetuate themselves kind to Jonathan despite of his in power even when the people failings in not being able to they lead have roundly rejected control the stench of corruption citizens of the country are hopeful that the Buhari administration would stem this tide before corruption would bleed this country to death.

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in his government. Goodluck despite seeing the handwriting on the wall allowed the votes of Nigerians to count and quickly conceded victory to his opponent. This we all know is rare in African politics.

The Jonathan administration may have been mired in corruption especially perpetuated by those very close to the President, but he could have chosen to steal the vote against popular opinion. It has been done previously in Nigeria and continues in several African countries through brazen election rigging, ballot box stuffing and

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Cover Profile

manipulation but Jonathan chose to allow electronic card readers to properly record votes cast and cause his decisive ouster from power.

that has crippled the development of Nigeria. Like General Buhari often says -“if Nigeria does not kill corruption, corruption will kill Nigeria”

The task now before the new Buhari administration is to heal the country after a very divisive election and to be inclusive and fair to all parts of the country despite their political leanings.

The Nigerian voters have elected Buhari as President of Nigeria of all tribes and tongues and all political leanings not as President of the All Progressive Congress, the new ruling party.

We do need a diversification of the Nigerian economy. A situation where 90% of our foreign exchange earnings come from crude oil exports is totally unacceptable. Nigeria, Africa’s largest economy, needs to tap into its other vast potentials in processed agricultural exports, solid minerals, manufactured goods and outsourcing of our huge manpower. If India could be the outsourcing capital of the world, why not Nigeria.

We do need fundamental changes in Nigeria and an exor- We need to ensure steady eleccism of the cancer of corruption tricity supply and rebuild our 12 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

dilapidated infrastructure so our cost of manufacturing can compare with other emerging economies around the world and spur growth in our manufacturing sector. With the exorbitant cost of diesel and power generation in Nigeria, no serious investor would locate a manufacturing plant in Nigeria and expect to compete favorably in the global market.

These are some of the challenges and imperatives for change that the Buhari administration would have to tackle.

History beckons. With Buhari at the helm of affairs, Nigerians must seize the opportunity and change the course of their future now.

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Profile in Excellence

ChiomaEmezie-Nwosu Lookinggreatat50!

Born on the 17th of May 1965 at Braithwaite Nursing Home Port-Harcourt Rivers State to late Senator Dr. Elijah and Mrs Edna Emezie.

Attended Secondary school at Federal Government Girls College Owerri from 19761981.

Studied Architecture at the University of Nigeria Enugu Campus from 1982-1988 and Masters of Economics and ManagementUniversity College London in 1992.

Married to Azubuike Nwosu and has two daughters. Lives in Mississauga, Ontario Canada.

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Profile in Excellence

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People and Places

Emeruwa Family Triple Graduation Celebration The Acho Emeruwa family celebrated the triple graduation of Ihenancho Obinnaya Emeruwa, MD,MBA, Ukachi Nnennaya Emeruwa, MD,MPH, Ezinne Ngwanma Emeruwa, MD,MPH- children of Meg and Iheanacho Emeruwa MD on Saturday May 23, 2015. All three siblings achieved the rare feat of graduating as medical doctors from Columbia and obtained post graduate degrees from Havard and ColumbiaAmerican Ivy league schools 22 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

and their parents threw a big party to celebrate them.

Prayers and songs of thanksgiving to God rent the air, and encomiums were showered on the celebrants for their hard work, discipline and dedication by all who spoke on the occasion.

Their parents were also overjoyed as they praised the spirit of obedience of these trio while they were growing up- a major contributing factor that led to their success, according

to their mother Mrs. Meg Emeruwa.

Father Dr.Acho Emeruwa commended their doggedness and determination to succeed despite all challenges and odds.

Guests were lavishly entertained and danced the night away to contemporary Nigerian and American music plus oldies played by toast of Los Angeles social scene-Dj Jasper.

Following is a photo essay of this grand occasion...

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People and Places

Ihenancho Obinnaya Emeruwa Harvard University, BA Biomedical Engineering Columbia University, College of Physicians & Surgeons, MD Columbia Business School, MBA

Ukachi Nnennaya Emeruwa Princeton University, BA Economics/Global Health and Health Policy Columbia University, College of Physicians & Surgeons, MD Harvard School of Public Health, MPH

Dr. Acho Emeruwa & the celebrants

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Ezinne Ngwanma Emeruwa Princeton University, BA Physics Columbia University, College of Physicians & Surgeons, MD Columbia University, Mailman School of Public Health, MPH

Dr. Acho & Mrs. Meg Emeruwa

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A gathering of beautiful people...

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A gathering of beautiful people...

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Friends, family and the crème de la crème of the Nigerian community in Southern California and beyond gathered at the Heritage Ballroom in Los Angeles on Saturday April 18, 2015 to celebrate Sir Chris Okpala on turning 50.

It was a night of encomiums on the illustrious life of this well accomplished businessman, dedicated husband and wonderful father.

Guests were lavishly entertained with fine cuisine, a free flowing bar and a variety of live entertainment till the

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early hours of Sunday morning. Life and Times media was on hand to capture the high fashion on the red carpet and the memorable highlights of the occasion.

Sir Chris is truly thankful to everyone who made out time to attend the event especially those who travelled from Nigeria and other parts of the USA. He’s especially grateful to his dear wife, Ogekris, sons, family and friends for working hard to make the celebration a huge success.

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News and Politics

Systemic Change In Nigeria Requires Individual Leadership, Not Party’s

By Dr. Chris Chinedu Ikeanyi

The urgent task to effect systemic change in Nigeria polity must begin at the individual level. Any Nigerian who desires change must begin with soul-searching and embark on a deep-rooted journey to change oneself first before venturing into changing any organs of the government or structure within the system.

In this essay, I intend to argue

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that transforming any facet of Nigeria’s socio-economic, moral etiquette or the roguish mentality of many Nigerian leaders and followers must begin at the individual level, not at the party level. Because the party is made of people, not objects, the transformational journey must commence with self.

Speaking about the educational system, Professor James H. Stronge states, “regardless of how well a program is designed, it is only as effective as the people who implement it (Stronge, 1997).” Applying this to governance or leadership of a country, regardless of how well a political party is organized or led, it is only as good as the people who

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News and Politics implement the party’s programs. With the victory of APC, the expectation for better governance in Nigeria has been set too high. The electorate is becoming too ambitious by thinking that the problem of the country will be solved overnight. It is grossly unrealistic to expect that Nigeria’s problems will be solved instantaneously with the emergence of a new government because APC cannot change Nigeria if the people within APC refuse to change as individuals.

The History of Political Parties in the Fourth Republic APC and PDP are two sides of the same coin, and both parties are made up of the same people. Most of them function as members of PDP during the day and at night; they become APC as they attend their

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nocturnal meetings. The two parties share the same root and original manifesto since inception. The PDP, which until the recent elections of March and April of 2015 was the ruling party in Nigeria, came into existence with the amalgamation of five major parties.

change is the nomenclature – the same operators have continued to metamorphose into different names. After the recent elections, the incessant defections by these political jobbers from PDP to APC are a clear testament to this claim. It is noteworthy that Elder Godsday Orubebe, the former Minister of Niger Delta Affairs under President Goodluck Jonathan, just announced his defection to APC. The core beliefs and structure of both parties remain the same – how to divide and share the wealth of the nation among most party members. As soon as the average Nigerians become tired of one acronym, i.e., PDP, the same group of people will change to a new one – APC for now.

On Wednesday, August 19, 1998, five parties, i.e. All Nigeria Congress (ANC), People Consultative Forum (PCF), Social Progressive Party (SPP), Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and Peoples National Front (PNF), met at Sheraton Hotel Abuja and resolved to function as one new political party known as the PDP. Before this time, the same group of people who now make up the PDP and the APC existed as five separate parties. That is why it may be overly ambitious to expect that a Ever since August 1998, the only thing that has continued to change of party will solve

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News and Politics

Nigeria’s problems. However, I am very optimistic that with the renewed awakening of the masses and their agitation for zero tolerance for corruption and abject poverty drowning more 50% of the citizens, it has become imperative for individuals within the new ruling party to change their style. I am equally encouraged

by Mr. Buhari’s reputation, history and his lack of regard for material acquisition and hope that he will sincerely fight corruption in Nigeria.

The way forward for Nigeria must be individual accountability among the leaders. Each leader within APC must engage in door-todoor combat against corruption. It must begin with leadership by example. Each leader must model what he or she expects from the electorate.

The first example to be set by 46 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

the president is to stop the recycling of corrupt officials.

We know the dossier of many people who have served Nigeria as cabinet ministers in the previous administration, and if Mr. Buhari yet again rewards any of those corrupt officials with high-level government positions, it will signal business as usual and thereby thwart the hopes of Nigerians. Mr. Buhari along with all the newly elected governors must demonstrate individual courage by beginning the cleansing process within their own parties.

Leaders and followers who are known to have looted the government at any level must be brought to justice. Nigerians will believe that Mr. Buhari is determined to fight corruption by first stopping the corrupt officials within APC before extending the war on corruptions to members of

other parties. The same war could be waged simultaneously, but charity must still begin at home.

The time to show genuine, courageous leadership is now, and it must start at the individual level, not party.

These are my views. Yours are welcome.

Dr. Chris Chinedu Ikeanyi Los Angeles, California

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Spotlight

Spotlight On Zenith Bank

Zenith Bank is one of Nigeria's largest banks. The bank currently has a shareholder base of about one million and is the biggest tier-1 bank in Nigeria.

Established in May 1990, it became a public limited company on June 17, 2004 and was listed on the Nigeria Stock Exchange on October 21, 2004.

The bank's shares are traded on the London Stock Exchange (LSE) following a listing of the $850 million 48 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

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Business & Finance

worth of its shares at $6.80 each.

With its headquarters in Lagos, Nigeria, Zenith Bank has over 500 branches and business offices spread across all states of the Federation and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Abuja. Zenith Bank has presence in the United Kingdom, Ghana, Sierra Leone and The Gambia. The Bank also has representative offices in South Africa and China and plans are afoot to take the Zenith franchise to other Sub-African regions as well as the European and Asian markets while consolidating our position as a leading financial service provider in Nigeria and SUMMER 2015

locations where we currently operate.

Zenith Bank Plc was established in May 1990, and commenced operations in July of the same year as a commercial bank. The Bank became a public limited company on June 17, 2004 and was listed on the Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE) on October 21, 2004 following a highly successful Initial Public Offering (IPO). Zenith Bank Plc. currently has a shareholder base of about one million and is Nigeria’s biggest bank by tier-1 capital. In 2013, the Bank listed $850 million worth of its shares at $6.80 each on

the London Stock Exchange (LSE).

Headquartered in Lagos, Nigeria, Zenith Bank Plc has over 500 branches and business offices in prime commercial centres in all states of the federation and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT). In March 2007, Zenith Bank was licensed by the Financial Services Authority (FSA) of the United Kingdom to establish Zenith Bank (UK) Limited as the United Kingdom subsidiary of Zenith Bank Plc. Zenith Bank also has subsidiaries in: Ghana, Zenith Bank (Ghana) Limited; Sierra Leone, Zenith Bank (Sierra Leone) Limited; Gambia, LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 49

Business & Finance

Zenith Bank (Gambia) Limited.

The bank also has representative offices in South Africa and The People’s Republic of China. The Bank plans to take the Zenith brand to other African countries as well as the European and Asian markets Zenith Bank is a leader in financial solutions in most facets of banking and caters to the banking needs of it's numerous customers in the public and private sectors.

Registrar, Mortgage and financial advisory services in

Zenith Bank's core businesses include: •Corporate and Investment Banking • Commercial and Consumer Banking • Personal and Private Banking • Trade Services and Foreign Exchange • Treasury and Cash Management Services • Other Non-Bank Financial Services mainly through subsidiaries

line with its decision to adopt the commercial banking license with international authorization.

Awards & Recognitions: Zenith Bank's impressive growth pattern and performance over the years have earned it excellent ratings, recognitions and endorsement from local and international agencies and institutions:

The Bank will continue to offer specialised financial services such as Pension Management but would discontinue services in Insurance, Capital Market dealings, Trusteeship, 50 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

company in West Africa.

Capital Finance International (CFI) adjudged the bank the Best Commercial Bank in Africa.

World Finance voted the bank as the Best Nigerian Bank in Corporate Governance.

The Banker Magazine, a publication of the Financial Times of London in a 2013 survey, rates Zenith as the Biggest bank in Nigeria by tier1 capital.

Forbes & CNBC Africa ranks Zenith bank as the 3rd biggest

In 2012, Zenith Bank was recognized as one of the 30 Outstanding Global Brands making sustainable impact on their operating environment. This recognition was prelude to the United Nations Development Programme's (UNDP) Conference on Sustainable Development (Rio+20) which held in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in June 2012.

KPMG rated Zenith bank as the Best Customer-Focused Bank in Nigeria.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------Zenith Bank Overview Zenith Bank Plc. Type Public limited company Traded as NSE: ZENITHBANK LSE: ZETB

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Business & Finance

Industry Finance Genre Banking Founded May 1990 Founder Jim Ovia Headquarters Zenith Heights, Plot 84, Ajose Adeogun street, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria Area served Ghana, Nigeria, Sierra Leone, South Africa, UK Key people Jim Ovia, Chairman Peter Amangbo, CEO Services Banking Revenue Increase ₦273.7

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billion(Sept 2014) Operating income Increase ₦60.7 billion(Sept 2014) Net income Increase ₦143 billion(Sept 2014) Total assets ₦3.4 trillion(Sept 2014) Number of employees 6,616 Subsidiaries Zenith Insurance, Zenith Pension Custodian, Zenith Securities, Zenith Bank Ghana, Zenith Bank UK, Zenith Trust Company, CyberSpace Networks

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People and Places

The Adefeso

Family Thanksgiving Los Angeles, CA International Christian Center Sunday May 31, 2015 Friends and family of Pastor Wole and Deaconess Bimbo Adefeso gathered at the International Christian Center to give thanks to God for all the great things He did in their family in the full restoration of Bimbo and graduation of their son Damilola from College.

Songs of praise rent the 52 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

air as the Senior Pastor of I.C.C- Dr. Dipo Kalejaiye read the testimonies of Bimbo and Damilola about the faithfulness of God in their lives. Pastor Wole's father in lawHRH Oba Ademola Ajakaiye (Former Chief Justice of Ekiti State Nigeria),the Olunyin of Iyin Ekiti and his Olori Josephine Yemisi Ajakaiye were among the distinguished assembly of family and friends that witnessed the happy occasion.

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Lolo Angela

Ofoegbu @ 50

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People and Places

Family, Friends and colleagues gathered at the Scotish Rights Banquet Hall at Elm Avenue in Long Beach on Saturday April 18, 2015 to celebrate an illustrious woman, wife,dedicated mother, accomplished educator, community leader and activist- the beautiful Lolo Angela Ofoegbu- (Olulu Gbachuru Onwa) on reaching 50 golden years Encomiums were showered on this woman SUMMER 2015

for being a high achiever in her profession, an adoring wife to her husband of many yearsChief Mike Ofoegbu and a dedicated mother to her 5 adorable children.

Besides all these roles Lolo Angela Ofoegbu has also been of service to several community organizations in several leadership positions and is the immediate past President of the Adaugo Women of Southern California

The celebration was rounded up on Sunday April 19, 2015 at the St. Eugene's Catholic Church where the officiating priest and parishioners at the Igbo Catholic Church prayed for greater success and longevity for the celebrant and long life, health, peace, unity and progress for her and her family.

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Country Profile

Swaziland A royal experience

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Country Profile

Swaziland, a small, landlocked monarchy in southern Africa, is known for its wilderness reserves and festivals showcasing traditional Swazi culture.

Marking its northeastern border with Mozambique and stretching down to South Africa, the Lebombo Mountains serve as a dramatic backdrop for Mlawula Nature Reserve’s many hiking trails. Nearby Hlane Royal National Park is home to diverse wildlife including lions, hippos and elephants.

Geography Swaziland, which is about 85% the size of New Jersey, is surrounded by South Africa and Mozambique.

The country is largely mountainous.

Government Absolute monarchy.

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History Bantu peoples migrated southwest to the area of Mozambique in the 16th century. A number of clans broke away from the main body in the 18th century and settled in Swaziland. In the 19th century these clans organized as a tribe, partly because they were in constant conflict with the Zulu. Their ruler, Mswazi, appealed to the British in the 1840s for help against the Zulu. The British and the Transvaal governments guaranteed the independence of Swaziland in 1881.

South Africa held Swaziland as a protectorate from 1894 to 1899, but after the Boer War, in 1902, Swaziland was transferred to British administration. The paramount chief was recognized as the native authority in 1941. In 1963, the territory was constituted

Fast Facts Population: 1,138,000 Capital: Mbabane (administrative); 70,000— Lobamba (legislative and royal); 4,400 Area: 17,363 square kilometers (6,704 square miles) Language: English, siSwati Religion: Indigenous beliefs, Roman Catholic, Muslim Currency: Lilangeni Life Expectancy: 45 GDP per Capita: U.S. $4,800 Literacy Percent: 82 ECONOMY Industry: Mining (coal), wood pulp, sugar, soft drink concentrates Agriculture: Sugarcane, cotton, corn, tobacco; cattle Exports: Soft drink concentrates, sugar, wood pulp, cotton yarn Kingdom of Swaziland Ruler: King Mswati III (1986) Prime Minister: Barnabas Sibusiso Dlamini (1996) Land area: 6,641 sq mi (17,200 sq km); total area: 6,704 sq mi (17,363 sq km) Population (2014 est.): 1,419,623 (growth rate: 1.14%); birth rate: 25.18/1000; infant mortality rate: 54.82/1000; life expectancy: 50.54; density per sq mi: 176.8 Capital (2011 est.): Mbabane, 66,000; Royal and legislative capital: Lobamba, 11,000 Largest city: Mbabane, 66,000 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 79

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a protectorate, and on Sept.

6, 1968, it became the independent nation of Swaziland.

Since 1986, King Mswati III has ruled as sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch. Political parties are banned and the king appoints 10 of the 65 members of parliament as well as the prime minister.

King Mswati can veto any law passed by the legislature and frequently rules by decree.

In 2002, hundreds of thousands of Swazis faced starvation. Two years of drought as well as bad planning and poor agricultural practices were blamed for the crisis. The government came under criticism for buying the king a $50-million luxury jet—a quarter of the national budget—while famine loomed. In 2002, the country's judges resigned en masse in protest of the 80 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

government's refusal to comply with court decisions.

In April 2003, the government information minister announced that the media were banned from making negative remarks about the government— criticism of the king's new luxury jet in particular would not be tolerated. In 2004, a third year of drought befell the country.

International donor agencies and human rights groups condemned the king's plans to build new multimilliondollar palaces for each of his 11 wives (12 by 2005) while his people faced starvation and the country's AIDS epidemic spiraled out of control. About 30% of the population is infected.

Although the king signed the country's first constitution in Aug. 2005, the document essentially maintains the status quo: opposition parties remain banned and the king retains ultimate power.

Monetary unit: Lilangeni Current government officials Languages: English, siSwati (both official) Ethnicity/race: African 97%, European 3% Literacy rate: 87.8% (2011 est.)

Economic summary: GDP/PPP(2013 est.): $6.259 billion; per capita $5,700. Real growth rate:0%. Inflation: 6.1%.Unemployment: 40% (2006).Arable land: 10.08%.

Agriculture:sugarcane, cotton, corn, tobacco, rice, citrus, pineapples, sorghum, peanuts; cattle, goats, sheep.Labor force: 424,100 (2011).Industries: coal, wood pulp, sugar, soft drink concentrates, textiles and apparel. Natural resources:asbestos, coal, clay, cassiterite, hydropower, forests, small gold and diamond deposits, quarry stone, talc. Exports: $1.603 billion (2013 est.): soft drink concentrates, sugar, wood pulp, cotton yarn, refrigerators, citrus and canned fruit. Imports: $1.545 billion (2013 est.): motor vehicles, machinery, transport equipment, foodstuffs, petroleum products, chemicals. Major trading partners: South Africa, EU, U.S., Mozambique, Japan, Singapore (2004).

Member of Commonwealth of Nations Communications: Telephones:main lines in use: 48,600 (2012); mobile cellular: 805,000 (2012).Radio broadcast stations: AM 3, FM 2 plus 4 repeaters, shortwave 3 (2001). Radios: 170,000 (1999).Television broadcast stations: 3 plus relay stations (2007).Televisions: 23,000 (2000).Internet Service Providers (ISPs): 2,744 (2012). Internet users: 90,100 (2009).

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Money & Finance

LtoR: Joel Damas General Manager BGD, Thierry Delpech Regional Director MoneyGram, Alex Hoffmann EVP MoneyGram and Roger Owomo CEO BGD during an agent visit in Dallas

A meeting with the leaders of BGD furthers MoneyGram’s commitment to the African market

A meeting with the leaders of BGD furthers MoneyGram’s commitment to the African market DALLAS, 30th June 2015 – MoneyGram International (NASDAQ: MGI), a provider of innovative money transfer services, recently hosted members of Banque Gabonaise de Developpement (BGD), a leading commercial bank headquartered in Gabon, Central Africa.

Members of the BGD team, including CEO Rodger Owono and General Manager Joel 82 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

Damas, met with Senior Executives at MoneyGram’s global headquarters in Dallas.

The group also met with MoneyGram agents in Dallas and New York. The meeting gave both companies an opportunity to discuss how they can make money transfer services more accessible in Gabon.

BGD and MoneyGram play key roles in providing fast and secure global money transfer services to consumers in Gabon.

About MoneyGram International MoneyGram is a global provider of innovative money transfer services and is recognized worldwide as a financial connection to friends and family.

Whether online, or through a mobile device, at a kiosk or in a local store, we connect consumers any way that is convenient for them. We also provide bill payment services, issue money orders and process official checks in select markets.

More information about MoneyGram International, Inc. is available at moneygram.com.

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Beauty of the Moment

Nkechi Okonkwo Mercy 1932 TM info.mercy1932@gmail.com

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Beauty of the Moment

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LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 85

Youth

The Change Nigerian Youths Are Expecting

by Mark Amaza writing from Abuja Nigeria

The 2015 elections have long come and gone, in what was inarguably the most closely fought presidential race in Nigeria since 1999 and saw the then ruling Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP) losing the presidency to then opposition All Progressives’ Congress (APC).

The elections in March and the eventual change of government on the 29th of May was one of 86 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

those moments in which Nigeria shone brightly on the world stage. In a continent notorious for sit-tight leaders who never ‘lose’ elections, it was heartwarming to see a country, especially one with the clout that Nigeria has, peacefully handover power from one government to another against the prediction of many foreign watchers and even some Nigerians.

Building on the massive turnout by young Nigerians in 2011 and how they brought their youthful zest and technological savvy to the elections, the 2015 elections saw more of the same, especially with an estimated 11m voters added over the four-year period courtesy of attaining the age of suffrage and those who finally registered to vote. For example, many young people were volunteers in election SUMMER 2015

Youth

campaigns, built campaign websites and deployed technological tools in support of their preferred candidates.

Admittedly, the eventual winners, the APC were beneficiaries of this visible youth support.

But nowhere else was the involvement of young people was most felt on social media and in the comments section of blogs, which have become like digital beer parlours and a meeting place for young people of all political persuasions, ethnic origins and religious inclinations across vast distances. Although older people are increasingly becoming more active on social media (especially Facebook), the Nigerian social media community is still dominated by young people.

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It is hard to get the stats on exactly how many young people voted or how they largely voted in the election, and have the numbers broken down in many more various ways. However, it is without doubt that the numbers were high, even by the simple fact that 43% of Nigerians are between the ages of 15 and 35, which is the youth age bracket.

As admitted by President Buhari himself, the expectations of the Nigerian electorate are high, and everyone is watching and hoping that he is able to deliver in the next four years.

But what are the specific expectations of Nigerian youths?

Like all other Nigerians, the core issues around the elections campaign were built on – corruption and insecurity – are topmost on the minds of young people. They want to see the Islamist sect, Boko Haram that has been on a destructive spree in the North-East quashed and other security threats such as the Niger-Delta militancy and the herdsmen/farmer clashes in the Middle Belt nipped in the bud.

They also want to see urgency and political will in fighting corruption, from prosecuting those who have dipped their hands in the public till or taken advantage of their positions in government to enrich themselves, and also putting in place measures, systems and procedures to prevent corruption from taking place, LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 87

Youth

especially in government establishments.

It has almost become an accepted culture to pay bribes for almost about anything from government: from school admissions to job placements and obtaining contracts.

Although it seems to be seen as accepted, it is stoking anger among citizens, especially when juxtaposed with the flamboyant lifestyles of those involved.

But besides these two issues, there are other ones that are particular to young people: job creation and education opportunities.

The population of young people in Nigeria is almost equal to the population of the Democratic Republic of Congo, with about 54% of this number

88 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

(or equivalent of the population of Sudan) unemployed. This statistic should keep any government awake at night, as this goes beyond just an economic issue but is also a national security issue. The availability of able-bodied yet gainfully employed young people is a clear and present danger to the internal security of Nigeria, as evidenced by the high rate of crime in many parts of the country, and how easy it is for groups like Boko Haram and the militant groups in the Niger Delta to fill their ranks with foot soldiers.

Young Nigerians will be looking to this government to create initiatives and policies and make decisions that will create jobs for low-skilled, medium-skilled and highskilled workers. These policies will have to go far beyond

giving handouts via the proposed scheme of the APC to pay unemployed graduates N5000 every month for a year.

The Buhari administration has to try as much as possible to see how it can link policies it shall make to job creation.

For example, increasing spending on sorely-needed infrastructure will help in creating jobs in the construction sector, as well as reforming the housing sector, the domestication and enforcement of the National Building Code by the 36 states, making mortgage financing more easily accessible, reforming the Land Use Act to unlock the wealth in land ownership and eliminating import duties on building materials in order to make property construction cheaper. This will not only help Nigeria make up the deficit of

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Youth

17million houses but will also create millions of jobs along the way across the country.

register a business in Nigeria, compared to a day in Rwanda, 4 days in Mauritius and 12 days in Liberia. Simplifying such

The APC-led Federal Government will need to also remove bottlenecks to starting and running businesses in the country. The World Bank Doing Business report for 2013 which assesses 189 countries and ranks them on 11 parameters, including how easy it is to start a business, registering property, paying taxes and enforcing contracts, Nigeria ranks 147, three places below Liberia, 115 places below Rwanda and 127 places below Mauritius, the highest ranked in Africa.

“

YouWin competition and the MSME Fund will go a long way in helping young entrepreneurs start businesses that will provide employment for themselves and others.

Increasing access to education and improving its quality is another crucial area that will directly affect young Nigerians.

Although the APC campaign policy on education was limited to providing one meal per day for all children in public primary schools, it will need to put its thinking cap more firmly when approaching education. This is because the school feeding program depends on cooperation with states as

The APC-led Federal Government will need to also remove bottlenecks to starting and running businesses in the country.

For example, it takes 30 days to SUMMER 2015

” procedures, together with continuing the policies and programs of the previous administration that expanded access to finance such as the

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Youth primary education is their responsibility, not that of the Federal Government.

Tertiary education policy, which is the responsibility of the Federal Government, needs a massive overhaul in expanding access and improving quality. Each year, only about 15% of the 1.2million candidates who take

strike at one period or another; the crisis was a good opportunity for them to advance their ideas for reform.

Sadly, the APC which was then in the opposition also showed a severe paucity of thinking on the same matter, and did not offer an alternative education policy to what was in place then.

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the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Exams (UTME) of the Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board (JAMB) get admitted into our tertiary institutions.

sorely needed, seeing as the government cannot afford to establish all the schools needed to absorb the excess candidates; to looking at funding for its existing schools.

The government will have to reform the policy in every aspect – from the requirements for the establishment of private tertiary institutions which are

The previous administration missed a golden opportunity during the 15 months that universities, polytechnics and colleges of education were on

Now that the APC is in power and reforming the tertiary education sector is their own problem to solve. To their advantage, there is no shortage of ideas on what they can do to make this happen.

young Nigerians is even shorter, and they can lose confidence in the administration quickly.

In conclusion, the Buhari administration should keep in mind that while the patience of Nigerians is short, that of

As such, it should focus on delivering tangible benefits to its youth demography. After all, it is them that will live with the effects of this administration for a long time to come.

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Health & Wellness

Sugarolism The Behavioral Challenge Of Our Time

by Olufemi Y. Saliu, M.D.

Most people are familiar with addiction to alcohol and nicotine and the potential health hazards, such as cardiomyopathy and lung cancer. But food and sugar addiction is to many an idea from science fiction.

Numerous researchers, however, have published papers that elucidate the common thread between drug and food addictions in the area

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of diagnosis, treatment, and prevention.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of American Psychiatric Association criteria for substance dependence are used by researchers to define food addiction: • tolerance • withdrawal • larger amount consumed than intended

• persistent desire or failed attempts to cut down • a lot of time spent using or recovering from substance • continual use despite knowledge of consequences • activities given up due to use of substance In addition to having these criteria in common, dopamine, a key neurotransmitter that activates the pleasure reward center of

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Health & Wellness sustaining and nonaddictive effect on the brain.

Humans are unique among animals in our overdependence on sugar. In the wild, animals are consistent with their choice of diet over The source of sugar time: lions have always been influences the effect it has on carnivores, and elephants have the brain, and therefore its always been herbivores, while ability to cause addiction. A monkeys are omnivores. But distinction needs to be made mankind has turned away from between the sugar from processed foods such as bread, our ancestral diet. We are no longer omnivores but cake, ice cream, croissants, sugarvores. This is because of bagels, waffles, cereals, milkshakes, and soda, and that the government’s subsidization of sugar production, and the derived from natural whole food industry’s creation of foods such as fruits and vegetables. The sugar in refined cheap processed foods saturated with sugar: a setup food is highly concentrated, for sugar addiction. and rapidly absorbed, so its Sugarolism, the adverse health impact on the rewarding system of the brain is to similar effect of our sugarvorous eating habits, has a similar impact as degree as drugs. On the other chronic exposure to alcohol hand, sugar from whole foods does on our health: has a low natural hematological disorders, concentration, and is absorbed electrolyte abnormalities, slowly, thus having a life the brain, is linked with both substance dependence and abnormal eating behaviors, such as excessive food consumption in obesity.

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hypertension, cardiac dilatation, cardiomyopathy, dyslipidemia, pancreatitis, obesity (insulin resistance), malnutrition, hepatic dysfunction, and addiction.

While drugs such as ethanol and heroin, and hyper palatable foods share addictive properties, there is a significant difference: we can do without the drugs but food is life sustaining. Thus, fighting food addictions can be a uphill battle. Nevertheless, lessons learned from managing drug addiction may be applied to controlling food addiction. At the same time, the role of food corporations in modifying the food, and the responsibility of the government for making refined food disproportionately cheaper than whole foods must also be taken into consideration if we are serious about controlling the world wide

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Health & Wellness

Kroll C, Gold MS: Further RJ et al: Can food be epidemic of obesity and its developments in the addictive?Public health and associated diseases. This fact, neurobiology of food however, does not and addiction: undermine our update on the state personal of the science. responsibility in the Nutrition. 2012 process of food consumption.

The sugar in refined food is Apr;28(4):341-3. doi: 10.1016 highly concentrated, and /j.nut.2011.11.002.

Epub 2012 Feb 3.

References: rapidly absorbed, so its 4. Lustig, Robert H. et al. 2012. Public 1.

Ivan impact on the rewarding health: The Toxic Dimitrijevi, Nada system of the brain is to Truth About Sugar.

Popovi, Vera Nature 482.27-29(02 Sabljak, Vesna similar degree as drugs.

February 2012) Škodri-Trifunovi & 5. American Nina Dimitrijevi: Psychiatric FOOD Association .

ADDICTIONDiagnostic and DIAGNOSIS AND Statistical Manual of TREATMENT Mental Disorders. 4th ed. policy implications. Addiction Psychiatria Danubina, 2015; American Psychiatric 2011;106:1208-12.

Vol. 27, No. 1, pp 101–106.

Publishing; Washington, DC, 3.

Avena NM1, Gold JA, 2.

Gearhardt AN, DiLeone

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Beauty of the Moment

Ivuoma "Ivy" Onyeador, M.A. Doctoral Student | Social Psychology Department of Psychology University of California, Los Angeles ivy.onyeador@gmail.com http://ucla.academia.edu/IvuomaOnyeador Marital Status: single

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Fashion and Style

HOUSE OF

MERCY

On the runway in Life and Times Fiesta, Sept. 5, 2015

Mercy 1932 TM Nkechi N.Okonkwo, Creative Director/CEO Palos Verdes, CA www.mercy1932.com info.mercy1932@gmail.com Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Tumblr 96 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

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Fashion and Style

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Fashion and Style

Mercy 1932 TM Nkechi N.Okonkwo, Creative Director/CEO Palos Verdes, CA www.mercy1932.com info.mercy1932@gmail.com Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Tumblr 98 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

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Fashion and Style

Mercy 1932 TM Nkechi N.Okonkwo, Creative Director/CEO Palos Verdes, CA www.mercy1932.com info.mercy1932@gmail.com Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Tumblr SUMMER 2015

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Fashion and Style

Mercy 1932 TM Nkechi N.Okonkwo, Creative Director/CEO Palos Verdes, CA www.mercy1932.com info.mercy1932@gmail.com Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Tumblr 100 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

SUMMER 2015

Fashion and Style

Mercy 1932 TM Nkechi N.Okonkwo, Creative Director/CEO Palos Verdes, CA www.mercy1932.com info.mercy1932@gmail.com Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Tumblr SUMMER 2015

LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 101

Legal Issues

In the first two installments of this piece we discussed the validity of your marriage in the United States based on different scenarios and different types of marriages especially those done contracted outside the United States.

We concluded that the validity of your marriage is determined by the law of the place where it is contracted provided that such law is not deemed to be contrary to public policy by a United States Court.

Marriage, a good and enduring institution, sometimes has to end. We will deal now with the issues that may arise in the course of dissolution of a marriage deemed valid by a United States Court.

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Legal Issues

Is Your Marriage Valid in the United States? III

by Ogochukwu Victor Onwaeze,Esq The general rule is that the validity of a dissolution is determined by the law of the court where the dissolution action is heard. As such, a marriage can be dissolved anywhere irrespective of the place where it was contracted, so long as there is compliance with the laws of the place where the dissolution action is brought. The marriage that is contracted in Nigeria, even under customary or Islamic laws can be dissolved by a United States Court. A marriage contracted in the United States can be dissolved in Nigeria. And this is irrespective of the fact that one of the parties does not reside and has never resided in the court of jurisdiction.

For the judgment of dissolution to be valid, the court must have jurisdiction.

The paramount factor for most courts is that one of the parties must meet a residency SUMMER 2015

requirement before bringing the action. There may be additional requirements depending on the particular court but we are unable to discuss all the minute details.

Residency requires that one or both spouses must have been resident in the area where the court is located for a certain amount of time prior to commencing the action. These are various time limits for different jurisdictions. In California, for example, one of the spouses must have been resident in the State for at least six months and in the county where the action is commenced for at least three months. The residency requirement is to prevent forum shopping where a spouse files the action in the court of a state with more favorable dissolution laws than the one where they reside. One thing to bear in mind is that the spouse filing for dissolution need not file where they reside.

They have the option of filing

in the jurisdiction where their spouse resides, if that forum has more favorable laws than the jurisdiction where they themselves reside. If a couple get married in Nigeria and one of them relocates to the United States, the other spouse who has never left Nigeria, can commence a dissolution action against their spouse in the United States once that spouse meets the residency requirement of the courts where he or she resides.

Conversely, a Nigerian spouse who gets married in the United States, lives here with the spouse for years and then relocates to Nigeria, can get their marriage dissolved according to Nigerian Laws, once they meet the jurisdictional requirements of the Nigerian Courts. It is irrelevant that their spouse is not a Nigerian.

Not only must the spouse have to meet the residency LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 103

Legal Issues requirement of the court where the action is filed, the court must also acquire jurisdiction over the other spouse. It is not the filing of the dissolution action that gives the court jurisdiction over the respondent spouse, but the service of the summons on the respondent spouse. If two spouses, living in different jurisdiction have filed dissolution proceedings in the courts where they live respectively, it is not the court of the spouse that filed first that gets to handle the case. It is the court of the spouse that served their own summons on the other spouse first that gets jurisdiction over the case.

Thus, if one spouse lives in the United States and files for dissolution here, but for five years does not or is unable to serve the summons on the spouse that lives in Nigeria, and the spouse that lives in Nigeria then files a dissolution action there and succeeds in serving their own summons immediately, the court in Nigeria will have jurisdiction over the parties.

Where the spouses live in different jurisdictions, it is important for a spouse to have the court of their residency be the court of jurisdiction. For one, they are probably more familiar with the laws of the place where they reside and secondly it is rather difficult to litigate an action in a court far removed from where one lives.

Imagine a spouse living in the United States having to litigate a dissolution proceedings commenced by the other spouse in Nigeria and vice versa, especially if that spouse 104 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

has never lived in the other jurisdiction. The non resident spouse will need to hire an attorney that lives in the other jurisdiction, which would probably be more expensive.

There is the added difficulty and expense of meeting with the attorney to prepare the case and traveling to the forum jurisdiction to attend hearings etc. Therefore, if you decide that the marriage is truly over, it is important to file and serve your action immediately, even if you do not proceed with litigation at that time. Once there is service, your court retains jurisdiction, even if you decide to take some time to think things through. In California for example, a dissolution action can remain on file, without trial and or finality for five years.

live in the same jurisdiction for in that instance the court has jurisdiction over all the issues.

Where both spouses live in different jurisdiction, two kinds of jurisdiction are in play; In Persona jurisdiction and In Rem jurisdiction. In Persona jurisdiction means jurisdiction over the person, while In Rem jurisdiction means jurisdiction over property. The perfection of jurisdiction discussed above, would generally give the court only In Persona jurisdiction, (jurisdiction to dissolve the marriage) while In Rem jurisdiction (jurisdiction to

Assuming the spouse commencing the action has met the jurisdictional requirements and also served the respondent spouse with the petition, thereby perfecting the proceedings where they reside, the questions is, what can your court do for you?

There are several issues involved in a dissolution, especially where the spouses have been married for a long time, have acquired property and have minor children. We will not discuss the scenario where both spouses SUMMER 2015

Legal Issues determine property division, child custody and support) may or may not be conferred without the consent of the non resident spouse.

So why is In Persona jurisdiction so important? In the beginning, we noted that the validity of a dissolution is determined by the laws of the court where the action is heard.

Some states in the United States and most jurisdiction outside the United States, including Nigeria have dissolution laws based on fault. California, on the other hand for example, has a no fault divorce system. In the courts operating the fault system of dissolution, the petitioning spouse has to show that the respondent spouse did something wrong, such as adultery, failure to care for the family, abandonment, cruelty etc. In the no fault system, the petitioning spouse only has to allege (not prove) that irreconcilable differences have arisen in the marriage, that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and that there is nothing the court, counseling or time will do to repair the marriage.

In other words, it is very difficult, if not impossible for a recalcitrant spouse to get a dissolution in the fault system without the consent of the other spouse. In the no fault system, the consent of the other spouse is not necessary and there is no need to air the family’s dirty laundry in a public forum. In the no fault system, a spouse can be as bad as they want to be and still be able to file an action to dissolve the marriage and obtain a dissolution from SUMMER 2015

the court. A lot of people would criticize this system, but personally, it is the preferred method. This is because, marriage should be an at will relationship. If one person is tired and wants out, they should be able to do so.

Sometimes, marriages, like some other relationship, may end, not because anyone had done anything wrong, but because it is just not working out between the spouses for several reasons. In such a case, why force the parties to remain together. Secondly, in the fault systems, some non petitioning spouses refuse to consent to the dissolution, especially where their spouse has been behaving badly and they have been blame free to a large extent. In this case, the spouse that has been behaving badly is unable to dissolve the marriage. But it is hard to understand why one would want to remain married to a spouse who has been behaving so badly that the union is basically a life in hell or bondage. Thirdly, where no property or children are involved, why spend the time and money trying to prove who is or who is not at fault, when evidently the marriage is over.

Regarding In Rem issues, different rules apply.

say that if the respondent spouse does not live in the court of jurisdiction, then unless they consent by making a general appearance in the case, the court will not be able to decide property issues except as to property that is located within the court’s jurisdiction, or in a community property state, property that was acquired while both parties resided within the court’s jurisdiction.

One common complain is that property division laws in the United States are unfair, because “the woman takes half of what the man labored to work for all his life”. This an erroneous statement. First, not all states in the US operate the community property system.

In fact, there are only nine community property states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin with Alaska being an opt-in community property state that gives both parties the option to make their property community property. The rest are called equitable property division states.

Secondly, it is only property that was acquired by the spouses during the marriage that is divided equally.

Property acquired by either spouse before the marriage remains their own and so is property acquired by either spouse during marriage as a gift or inheritance.

Child custody jurisdiction is conferred on the court where the child lives. If you commence a dissolution action Property issues are more complex where both spouses do not at the time of dissolution On a personal note, the live in or have never lived in the court of jurisdiction. Space community property laws work better and are more equitable will not allow a full discussion of property issues. Suffice it to than what obtains in most other LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 105

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places including, Nigeria. It is a recognition that a stay at home spouse contributes equally to the financial success of the household as much as the spouse that goes to work everyday. By nature, women bear the disability burden of procreation, stay home to nurture the children and generally sacrifice their career and finances for the well being of the family. It is only fair that they be guaranteed some form of financial stability for this sacrifice. In the rare instance the reverse works for the man as well. Some stay at home fathers get to share in the income generated by their wife during the marriage. Being a male dominated society, of course, it is hard to find stay at home fathers amongst our community. There are several tales of women, in Nigeria, who 106 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

have been rendered destitute after more than thirty years of marriage by the husband throwing them out of the house without financial provision.

The lack of financial security engendered by an inequitable property division law may have some severe consequences. One, the woman is forced to remain in a loveless, violent and unsavory marriage just to ensure financial provision for her and her children. Two, the male may use the threat of financial ruin to blackmail the wife into tolerating all his indiscretion and remaining with him, against her will. Thirdly, the woman who seeks financial security, so as not to be faced with destitution on dissolution, would pursue their careers and finance to the detriment of the upbringing of the children.

Ogochukwu Victor Onwaeze is an attorney practicing in California and can be reached at onwaeze@aol.com or 213738-5066.

The views expressed here are the opinions of the writer. Please consult a qualified attorney to discuss your specific situation and to obtain complete legal advise that apply to your case.

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Style

An Exquisite Hair

The Glory of a Woman Many people say the glory and splendor of a woman is indeed her hair. The hair has always been believed to be one of the most prominent and essential aspects of our physical appearance. In most cultures and nations people take more interest in their hair and take heed in the appearance of the hair of others. Generally it is one of the first features that we notice about the people whom we meet.

Simple and plain hair always enhances a woman’s appearance. From my personal point of view I always look more elegant and get more compliments when I do easy pony tails and up do’s . Do you know that Kate Middleton is 108 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

now the most significant beauty icon in the U.K.? That is because she does not go all out with her hair, she experiments to find the best look for her hair with simple and convenient methods. It’s no wonder that I have noticed an increased awareness interest in half up hairstyles. The Duchess is pretty fond of them after all.

And why wouldn’t she be?

Elegant and feminine, half up fashion combine the best of both hair worlds. While half up styles are great for any season. I love them in summer because they gorgeously balance spaghetti-straps, tanks, and strapless tops and dresses with natural hair. And because they straddle the line between casual and formal, they work

perfectly for summer events.

By learning a couple new styles and tricks, you can keep your strands strong, swear off frizz and flatness, and make your hair look its best every day.

Whether your hair is short, curly, or long, and no matter if you have 2 minutes, 5 minutes, or 20 minutes to devote to styling it, you can still make it look great! Keep in mind beauty should not be forced but improved. As we enter the summer, remember that convenient hair styles like buns, pony tails, up do’s is the way to go. So let’s all step out with confidence and let your beauty shine.

By Nana Ama Addo SUMMER 2015

Style

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LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 109

Music & Entertainment

Wiz Kid

Africa's Artiste of the Year 2013

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Music & Entertainment

Ayodeji Ibrahim Balogun popularly known as WIZKID was born on July 16, 1990 in Surulere Lagos. He comes from a large family, and is the last of six children. He started his musical career in the church at the young age of 11 with the release of a 7 track album in the year 2000 under the label of the of OJB Jezreel one of the most celebrated music producers in Nigeria.

When he began his musical career, Ayodeji used the name "Lil Prinz" but changed his stage name to WIZKID at the age of 17 in 2006 when he began to gain stardom and national acclaim.

The debut album was well received by Ayo's family, friends, other artists and the church. He went back to the studio thereafter to perfect his skills and develop his talent. by 2006 when he took on the stage name WIZKID he was much more matured musically and started working with some of the big names in Nigeria's SUMMER 2015

musical landscape like Neto C and Ikechukwu.

His music has continued to enjoy sustained radio plays since 2006 while he continued to enjoy collaboration with the existing big names in the industry. WIZKID's major break in the Nigerian music industry came in 2009 with his collaboration with one of Nigeria's best rappers MI Abaga on the "Fast Money Fast Cars" track which drew major attention to WIZKID's sultry voice, engaging stage personae and unique swagger and style.

WIZKID is also a song writer and writes most of his songs.

He has also been featured in several TV commercials the most recent was the PEPSI 2011 advert where he featured alongside female super star TIWA SAVAGE. He also featured in the TV commercial "Turn by Turn" by KEL's .

1n 2009 he signed a multi million naira deal with Nigerian leading R & B artist, producer and manager- the versatile Banky W who owns the Empire mates Entertainment 9EME) recording label. WIZKID has continued to release hit songs LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 111

Music & Entertainment

concerts in Nigeria, the United with EME records since 2009 and he presently enjoys stardom all over Africa and amongst Africans all over the diaspora. He WIZKID's major break in the has performed internationally with Nigerian music industry renowned artists like came in 2009 with his Chris Brown, Sunny Ade, Akon, Kardinal collaboration with one of official, Young Jeezy etc.

Nigeria's best rappers MI

“

In 2012, Wizkid signed a one year endorsement deal with Pepsi, allegedly worth $350,000 U.S dollars. He traveled to Beirut, Lebanon with Tiwa Savage for a Pepsi commercial shoot.On May 28, 2013, Premium Abaga on the "Fast Money Times reported that The release of his hit Wizkid signed a singles," Do't Dull", Fast Cars" track one year deal with "Holla at your boy" MTN Nigeria. and "Tease me" in Moreover, the news 2010 confirmed source reported WIZKID as a that Wizzy's Pepsi Nigerian musical star. contract was After the release of renewed for his debut album another two years.On October "Super Star" in June 2011 States and in the United 23, 2013, Bellanaija reported WIZKID performed sold out Kingdom.

”

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Music & Entertainment

Music Awards from two nominations, two Dynamix All Youth Awards from three nominations, two City People Entertainment Awards from 4 nominations, and a Future Awards, among others. In addition, he has been nominated three times at the MTV Europe Music Awards as His work and contributions to well as four times at the World Music Awards. He was ranked the Nigerian Music Industry 5th on Forbes and Channel O's has earned him several achievements, including a BET 2013 list of the Top 10 Awards, a MOBO Awards from Richest/Bankable African Artists.In February 2014, two nominations, a Channel O Wizkid became the first ever Music Video Awards from six Nigerian musician to have over nominations, three Nigeria 1 million followers on Twitter.

Entertainment Awards from Wizkid's most notable songs eleven nominations, a Ghana that Wizkid signed an endorsement deal with Guinness for the "Guinness World of More" concert. The concert was held at the Eko Convention Centre of the Eko Hotel and Suites in Victoria Island, Lagos, on November 3, 2013.

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include "Holla at Your Boy", "Don't Dull", "Love My Baby", "Azonto", "Pakurumo", "Tease Me/Bad Guys", "Dance For Me" with EME, and "Jaiye Jaiye", "Caro" among others.

His discography resume includes collaboration with international and domestic acts such as Bracket,Angel[, Lynxxx, Iyanya, Wande Coal, Ice Prince, R2Bees, Wale, Young Jeezy, Akon, and Femi Kuti,] among others. Wizkid's debut album Superstar was released in 2011, He is currently working on Chosen, his second studio album scheduled to be release in 2014

LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 113

Spotlight

Ogun State

The Gateway State

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Spotlight

Ogun State is a state in southwestern Nigeria. Created in 1976, it borders Lagos State to the south, Oyo and Osun states to the north, Ondo State to the east and the Republic of Benin to the west. Abeokuta is the capital and largest city in the state.

Ogun has one Federal University: the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta; one state government college of education, named after the late Nigerian educationist of international repute Augustus Taiwo Solarin in 1994 as Tai Solarin College of Education (TASCE),(formerly known as Ogun State College of Education, Ijagun, Ijebu-Ode, one state government polythechnic named after late Nigerian business mogul and SUMMER 2015

political icon the acclaimed winner of June 12, 1993 election, Basorun Moshood Kasimawo Olawale Abiola as Moshood Abiola Polythechnic (MAPOLY), formerly known as Ogun State Polythechnic, Ojere, Abeokuta, and two state government universities: Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye (formerly known as Ogun State University), and the Tai Solarin University of Education (TASUED) Ijebu Ode. Ogun State has a total of nine registered universities, the highest of any state in Nigeria.

It has five private universities.

Amongst others are Covenant and Babcock University in Ilisan-Remo, which was the first private university in the country. The state has two major government hospitals: the Federal Medical Center at Abeokuta, and the Olabisi

Onabanjo University Teaching Hospital in Sagamu.The National Youth Service Corps Permanent Orientation Camp is located at Sagamu Local Government area of the state.

Other cities and towns in the Ogun State are Ijebu Ode, Sagamu, Ijebu Igbo, Ilaro Ayetoro and Ota. The state's nickname is "Gateway to Nigeria". It was created in February 1976 from the former Western State. The 1991 census recorded a total population of 2,338,570 residents. The incumbent State Governor is Senator Ibikunle Amosun (2011-date).

Ikenne Remo is home to many prominent sons and daughters of Ogun State and has over the years evolved to become the LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 115

Spotlight

Manse at Ogbe, Abeokuta; St James Anglican School, Ota and Ijamido River Shrine, Ota. There is also the June 12 Cultural Centre Park and Museum at Abeokuta(source:Ogun State Diary, 2013). Ojude-Oba festival, Ijebu-Ode and Agemo List of Tourism attractions in festival in Ijebu.University of Agriculture Zoological Garden, the state: Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, Sungbo Eredo-the largest single ancient monument in Africa in Ijebu(Darling,1999).

Ogun State, today, has

political and intellectual 'mecca' of the state. With Obafemi Awolowo home and rich library resources open to the public and history researchers; (acknowledged to have groomed business, religious and political leaders) and of course the annual Ereke Day festival attracting tourists from within and without the country.

acquisition area of the Lagos Sagamu expressway. With Dangote's cement factory in Ibese, Nestle, DHL, Big Treat, Coleman Cables and several others, Ogun State may as well be the investor's haven in the Sub Region.

“

Chief Obafemi Awolowo is revered as one of the founding fathers of Nigeria, emerged as one of the Social life alongside Chief Nnamdi Azikiwe fastest growing business Ogun State has and Alhaji Sir Ahmadu Bello, the destinations in Nigeria, with always been adjudged to be either late Sardauna of several local and socially inactive, or to Sokoto. He was have a social life that Prime Minister of international businesses satisfies the the Western Region 'uneducated', as all from 1954 - 1959 and factories . that was available in after which he Ogun State was just became the beer-parlours, local opposition leader joints, and hangouts in the Federal where Juju, Fuji, House of Apala and other old Representatives. He genres of music were built the played or performed. Most Abeokuta, Bilikisu Sungbo educational,political and vibrant youths had to travel for Shrine in Oke-Eri, Yemoji business infrastructure upon about two hours to Lagos for Natural Swimming Pool at which the Western States have any meaningful form of Ijebu-Ode, Oyan Dam in built and thrived. modern entertainment.

Abeokuta North, Iwopin Boat Ogun State, today, has emerged Regatta and Ebute-Oni in Ogun The entrance of RichardRollyn Waterside. Other sites are: as one of the fastest growing Media into the social scene of Madam Tinubu Shrine, business destinations in Ogun State has changed the Abeokuta; Oronna Shrine, Nigeria, with several local and face of the Ogun State social Ilaro; Area J4 Forest Reserve international businesses and scene. RichardRollyn Media (Omo Biosphere Reserve); factories strategically sited Ltd., led by the Akinpelu Tongeji Island, Ipokia; Old within the 2 km government

”

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Spotlight Michael aka. Mecoy moved in from Lagos in 2013 to organize the Gateway Youth Awards with Spotagory as the major sponsor as even the government of Ogun State refused to support them.

Nonetheless, about thirty youths of Ogun State were successfully honored and awards were presented to them. The night of the awards and all pre-events proved to be the ideal relaxation event for any modern youth.

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RichardRollyn Media also went ahead to work with Ogun State's popular Gospel/Juju/Tungba Music artiste: Prince Ayoola Akinola and gave him a branding which is appealing to all categories of youths. They have also succeeded in partnering with several upcoming entertainment outfits in Ogun State to organize several events and parties.

Richard Rollyn Media Ltd. which has worked with several musical acts in Ogun State is also working hard towards the organization of the first GATEWAY CARNIVAL. If RichardRollyn Media can continue in this manner for the next couple of years, then the outfit might succeed in making Ogun State the new center of entertainment in Nigeria Source" Wikipedia,

LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 117

Health & Fitness

Ioncedida

sit-up

Grace Neequaye MPH CHES

I once did a sit up and it was painful! I’m still waiting for my six-pack abs to show up!

Summertime is here for many of us in the United States this means a little more sun, children out of school and folks more comfortable showing some skin.

I remember when I first moved to the United 118 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

States, it was August in Ohio and I didn’t understand the excitement about the summer – until old man winter showed up and I learned the realities of living the 4-layered Yankee life!

Around this time, many of us pull out our lighter clothing only to find them a little snugger around the

midsection or hips (maybe it shrunk?), or find they don’t fit at all.

Some of us take this as a reminder to increase our physical activity, while the rest of us take it as an excuse to update our wardrobe. As if they saw what happened in our closet, we are often bombarded by advertising for weight loss programs, gym SUMMER 2015

Health & Fitness as Zumba® Fitness, Kickboxing, yoga, boxing etc; run around with your children, allow yourself to have some play time; go on a hike and see the beauty in nature, go swimming or biking with the family, sign up for a 5K and train for it; go dancing with The reality of our adopted friends, or when you get to the lifestyle is that we are very weekly wakes we often find stressed out, overworked, ourselves, step on the dance But, physical activity is not overextended and sedentary. floor and shake like nobody is only useful for getting rock We no longer have the built-in hard abdominals, it is necessary watching. It doesn’t really exercise component as we did matter what you do, as long as back home and have not added for our overall health; in fact it is as important as food. Benefits you move a little! As for me, I’ll exercise as a part of our daily work on my sit-ups and see if I include: routine. Many of us spend our can find any signs of a six-pack! days sitting at work or in class, · Weight loss in the car for the long drive · Stress reduction home and behind the TV or · Mood elevation computer once we get there. · Energy boost Studies have shown that those Enhanced circulation that sit for prolonged periods of · · Better sleep time are more likely to be · Boosted brainpower affected by heart disease, · Relaxation diabetes and premature death. · Increased mental stability Indeed, for many of us, So this summer, instead of exercise seems to be a luxury. opting for more double work Many of us have left the shifts, take care of yourself. comforts of our home and the Take a walk daily…add 5 to 10 Grace Neequaye minute breaks into your day to move around or take a 10 minute walk during your lunch time; take a fitness class, such memberships and dietary supplements all guaranteeing to get us “swimsuit ready” just in time for summer. Some of us heed these messages, while the rest of us roll our eyes and return to our egusi soup.

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familiarity of our communities with a specific goal in mind.

Oftentimes, physical activity does not seem to add any value to our worlds. Many of us simply cannot find time to fit in an hour sweat session and others cannot fathom the idea of paying someone to run on a machine that goes nowhere.

LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 119

Iruka's Corner

Conversations WithStrangers Iruka A. Ndubuizu

If your life is anything like mine, your parents constantly warned you against talking to strangers when you were growing up. From the moment you could talk or walk, you were taught that talking to strangers is a terrible thing to do; you could be abused, kidnapped or killed. As with most teachings we grow up with, we tend to pass it on to our children, and the circle continues.

Have you ever wondered what 120 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

life would be like if we only interacted with people we know? Luckily for me, most of my interactions with strangers have been positive. It has given me the opportunity to pick the brains of some very intelligent people thereby enlarging my world view and elevating my thought process. I have learned about books, cultures, principles, entrepreneurship, career, finances, human nature, health, love, wealth, friendship, etc. I find people very

interesting and my curiosity always got the better of me. I like to think I was a very obedient child. This, however, was one rule I had the hardest time with. As far back as I can remember, I have always had an inquisitive mind. As a child, I was comfortable talking to both children my age as well as adults.

Think of all the fun and opportunities you miss out on when you strike up SUMMER 2015

Iruka's Corner conversations with only those you know! Understandably, some people are shy or just don’t know how to go about initiating a conversation with a stranger. The best way to overcome this is to simply

switch your mindset. Albert Schweitzer, the German theologian tells us that “we cannot possibly let ourselves get frozen into regarding everyone we do not know as an absolute stranger”. Relax.

Seeing them as “friends you haven’t met” makes all the

difference. The more you do it, the greater your confidence and the easier it becomes.

My latest adventure as an entrepreneur was because of a casual conversation I had with the stranger sitting next to me in an airplane. We talked about careers and long term goals. He advised me to consider becoming a consultant. I had never dreamed of owning a business so I was unsure how to go about it. He graciously shared simple tips for success, told me to try them and to give the business a year. By the time the plane landed an hour later, I had filled my notepad with a skeletal business plan, a business name and a strong determination to try it out. I did not know that this stranger had built and ran multiple successful businesses. It’s been two years since the birth of my company. I haven’t seen him since then but I will never write the story of Eureka Consulting without mentioning that conversation.

Chatting with strangers can expand your breadth of knowledge. Think of them as people who could teach you something, or challenge you to view the world (or yourself) differently. The world and your environment is a classroom.

Stay alert and learn. Speak.

Listen. Be sincere. Have no agenda. Show interest and you will be amazed at the lessons out there. Remember, it is a

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Iruka's Corner

conversation. Don’t do all the talking. Ask questions but be careful not to turn it into an interrogation. Come from a place of genuine interest and you will be amazed at how quickly you can build rapport.

There is something inherently freeing about connecting with someone you don’t know and may never see again. There’s no judgment so you find yourself sharing things you would not ordinarily share.

Not every interaction with a stranger will be a positive experience. Some people are rude or they just don’t want to be bothered, and that’s okay.

Don’t be deterred. Be willing to risk rejection. If rejected, don’t 122 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

take it personally; overcome it and move on to the next conversation. There is power in knowing that you can talk to pretty much anybody you want to.

So, the next time you are at abusiness or social setting, or even the airport, go for it! Just smile, say hello and extend your hand.

What do you have to lose? I look forward to shaking your hand soon. Like Walt Whitman says,

“Stranger, if you … meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me?

And why should I not speak to you?”. Here’s wishing you many enlightening and inspirational conversations with strangers!Great opportunities await you.

Iruka A. Ndubuizu is a “contract guru”, attorney, entrepreneur, consultant and trainer. She is an Assistant Director for Contracts Administration at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia and the Founder of Eureka Consulting, LLC (www.eurekaconsultingllc.com). You can reach her at info@eurekaconsultingllc.com; 678.224.1960.

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Section

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LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 123

Religion

Enemies Of Marriage: How to fortify yours against them

Oladipo Kalejaiye

A man was crying over a gravestone saying “why did you die? why did you die?” Another man questioned him. “Did your mother die?” “No”. “Your father?” “No”. But the man continued to weep profusely “why did you die?” “Well, who died?” He answered: “This was my wife’s first husband.”

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For many couples, it has come to that. They daily regret and lament their decision to marry their mate. The marriage is a horror movie playing out in real time! A deceased Christian had the following written on his gravestone: “Beneath these stones do lie

Back to back, my wife and I When the last trumpet the air shall fill, if she gets up, I’ll just lie still.”

Wow! This Christian was willing to forfeit the resurrection in order to avoid any further cohabitation or interaction with his earthly spouse! Spouses who are SUMMER 2015

Religion

still alive and can’t bear the nightmare of what they call marriage bail out through divorce.

Someone said “Love the quest, marriage the conquest, divorce the inquest.” Today, love quests that matured into marriage conquests are ending in bitter and sordid divorce “inquests”.

vorce; it is now seen as an unavoidable rite of passage. Interviews with young adults suggest that they want their initial marriage to last, but are not particularly optimistic about that possibility. There is also evidence that many young people are moving toward embracing the idea of serial marriage, in which a person gets married two or three times, seeking a different partner for each phase of their adult life.”

If this article succeeds in helping your marriage to avoid becoming part of the “inquest” statistics, it has accomplished one of its primary objectives. I hope it You will agree with me that this does!

Do you know that among Amer- prognosis is grim and scary. icans who have said their wed- However, your marriage does ding vows, one out of three have not have to help fulfill it. You been divorced at least once? can literally inoculate yours George Barna, who directed a against the enemies of marriage. study on this, noted that Americans have grown comfortable with divorce as a natural part of life:

Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese warrior, wrote in his classic The Art of War,

“if you know your enemy and “There no longer seems to be know yourself, you need not much of a stigma attached to di- fear the result of a hundred SUMMER 2015

battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.”

Of course, it is obvious that if you know neither yourself nor the enemy, you have lost the battle even before it starts!

I have identified below some of the enemies of marriage and what you should know about yourself so that you may make changes that’ll help fortify yours against these enemies.

Enemy Number One: Lack of unshakable foundation.

Many Hollywood marriages are built on the foundation of beauty, money, success and fame. These are defective foundations. They are shifting and sinking sand. Therefore the marriages collapse fast. Have you asked yourself: What is the foundation of my marriage? If LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 125

Religion

it is built on “sand”, then when the wind of life begins to blow and the rains of life begin to fall and the flood of life begins to beat against it, it will crumble, but, if it is built on the “rock”, it will stand. There was a shipwreck and a young boy was the only survivor. He had struggled against the waves to swim to a rock he saw not too far away from him. He held onto the rock for three days until he was rescued. When asked whether he was not afraid being alone day and night in open sea for three days, he replied, “I never stopped shaking since I bear-hugged the rock, but the rock itself did not shake.” There is another rock the bible talks about. He is called the Rock of Ages- He is an unshakeable Shaker, unbreakable Breaker, and Immovable Mover. His name is Jesus Christ. When a marriage is built on this Rock, it has acquired an unshakeable, unbreakable and immovable foundation. All that the couple needs to do is take 126 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE

marching orders from the Rock.

His manual is the Bible. It explains their roles and offers guidance on how to fulfill them. What is more? The Rock is also the One who empowers and enables them to obey these marching orders! Remember, it does not matter how gorgeous, luxurious and expensive a mansion is, if its foundation is defective, it’ll come crashing down. It’s not a matter of “whether’, it’s a matter of “when”. Lack of an unshakeable foundation is an enemy of marriage. Is yours fortified against it?

Enemy Number Two: Lack of allowances for daily irritations.

A couple had been married for fifteen years and is now having more than the usual disagreements. The wife came up with the idea of creating a Fault Box in which both will drop daily notes of irritable habits of the other spouse. At the end of the month, they’ll examine the notes, apologize to each other

and cease their irritable habits.

So, she diligently dropped off into the box notes of daily irritations: leaving the jelly top off the jar, wet towels on the shower floor, dirty socks not in the hamper and on and on. At the end of the month, after dinner, they opened the Fault Box and the wife began to read out her notes of what irritated her daily during the month. The husband apologized and promised to make amends. Now it was her turn. She noticed a lot of notes were also there but all of them have the same message, “I love you”! The instruction from the Rock in Colossians 3:13 says you must make allowances for each other’s faults… He also says you should always cut your spouse some slack and accept them the way He The Rock has accepted you: John 6:37: “The Father gives me my people.

Every one of them will come to me, and I will always accept them”. God says “I just love you, period! Not because of SUMMER 2015

Religion as ourselves and the husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her. 1 John 3:18 says “Let us love not with words but with action and in truth”. Acting in love when your spouse does not deserve it is acting like God who loves you and acts in love towards you when you don’t deserve it. It is the highest form of love. When your spouse is being nasty, you act back in love not because that’s what she deserves but because love is what she needs and that’s what you’re giving her.

Maybe you feel so abused by your spouse that you have lost all feelings of love and you are contemplating a divorce. Hold Enemy Number Three: Lack of it: there was a woman who had lost all feelings of love for her loving acts husband. She hated her husLove is not an emotion because band and wanted to hurt him emotions cannot be comall she can. Her psychiatrist admanded at will. For example vised her that the best way to you cannot command someone accomplish this goal is to act in to cry or to be happy or be sor- extremely loving way towards rowful. These are emotions and him, showing him unusual often uncontrollable. Comkindness, showering him with manding someone “don’t compliments and doing stuff worry, be happy”, won’t cut it for him that he loves- without for a grieving spouse. It is a expecting any appreciation in myth that you can “fall in love” return! When he’s used to all the way you uncontrollably, ac- these and he’s become fully decidentally fall into a ditch! Love pendent on her, having enjoyed can cause strong emotions but her company greatly, he would is itself not an emotion. Love is do anything to not let her go. more than sentimentality. More Then bam! She will file for dithan arousal. More than attrac- vorce. “That will shatter him tion. Love is a behavior. Love is completely” said the psychiaaction. Love is a commitment trist. “-He would not be able to you make to do something. You bear the thought of losing you” make a decision to love or not he concluded. So the lady went to love. That is why God comand did all she was told to the mands us to love our neighbors best of her ability. She really exwhat you do! ” Jesus treated us much better than we deserve.

He made us acceptable. Not that we changed. He simply says “because of me, you are acceptable to God”. Accept your spouse as God has accepted you- unconditionally.

Until they overcome their irritable habits, accept them. It does not mean you approve of these irritations. It simply means you are obeying the marching orders of the Rock and by so doing you are fortifying your marriage against this enemy number two. Lack of making allowances for your spouse’s daily irritations is an enemy of marriage. Is yours fortified against it?

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celled at them because she wanted him to really hurt at her departure when the time comes. On her return date of appointment with her psychiatrist, he asked her, “so how did it go?”. She said the marriage is great now and the husband is so happy and in high spirit.

“Great”, said the psychiatrist.

“Now go and file the divorce papers”. “Never” she shouted indignantly, my husband and I are having the fun of our lives in this marriage. I love my husband dearly!” Feelings of love follow acts of love. You don’t need divorce. You need to start acting in love. Not acting in love in your marriage will rob you of loving feelings for your spouse. It can cause you to say “I don’t love him/her anymore”. It is an enemy of marriage. Is yours fortified against it? (to be continued)

Oladipo Kalejaiye holds a Ph.D degree in law and was a litigation attorney in Nigeria, Europe and the United States for over 17 years. He entered into full time ministry in year 2000, and currently serves as the pastor of International Christian Center, Los Angeles ( You can contact him on the web: www.iccla.com, Facebook: iccla/facebook, Twitter: @DipoKalejaiye)

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