SELF-CARE REIMAGINED FOR THE BLACK MAN

by Karla Scipio

As a Registered Nurse and mother of two Black sons and grandmother of four young Black boys. I often wonder how our current living conditions in a COVID world filled with trauma, chaos and tragedies affect the men in my life.

Today it is so easy to get all caught up in social media overload, of being constantly battered by the negative news and messages that are designed to make them feel inferior and not valued. The ongoing violence towards and in our communities help us forget about our own self-care as persons of color.

Black Men aren't always given much space to express how they feel or opportunities to reflect on how current situations affect them. Utilizing healing-centered practices and coping skills is necessary for their survival. Black Men selfcare is unique and a full-time job.

Here are my list of self-care considerations for my Black brothers You should do what works for you and listen to your own intuition. Please take what is helpful and leave what is not.

Reach Out To Trustworthy People Who Can Hold Space For You

Not everyone can be supportive, even if they care deeply for you. Consider the people who show up and make it easy to be you. No performances or faking it because men are supposed to be strong and asking for help is seen as weak Silence and isolation breeds more pain. You must connect with yourself and folks that are supportive of you.

Connect With Things That Bring You Joy Or Energy

It may be difficult or even feel impossible, but if you have capacity… I would re-commend you write affirmations about your identity, capability, and worth defined by YOU Listen to music that feeds your soul and watch media that energizes you rather than drains you. Become involved in things that promote positive and nuanced identities of black folks.

ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT AND NEED RIGHT NOW, AND THEN ADVOCATE FOR IT

Do you need a break from work? Can you ask for time-off or an adjustable schedule? Understand what you need from folks around you and make sure you communicate it Seek therapy, even when you feel that there isn't anything wrong. I know for some it's a taboo subject. Therapy is the one of the best ways to address personal or racial trauma.

Allow Yourself To Feel Your Emotions And Attend To Your Physical Needs

Whether you are experiencing anguish or rage, allow yourself to sit in those very uncomfortable spaces and release those feelings instead of stuffing them down. This also means paying attention to your body. Do you need to go for a walk? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you dehydrated? Are you holding pain somewhere physically that needs to be released?

Transform Feelings Of Hopelessness To Advocacy

Engage in your spiritual practice as it will help you draw a deeper meaning from life. Give, few things feel as good as giving without expectation of receiving anything in return.

Be intentional about creating a better you. Go to the doctor so you can learn how to best improve your health. Many Black men age poorly and die earlier because they do not go to the doctor until it's too late

Create Boundaries For Yourself Of What Works Specifically For You

Don’t forget to rest, breathe, drink water, and explore your needs. Consider connecting with powerful black art, media, and music that showcase a dif-ferent narrative of our stories and our strength

Practice forgiveness, forgive and let go. It helps lower stress, your blood pressure and improve your mental health.

Do, go have fun, don't put off what you can do today for tomorrow

Don't be afraid to learn new things or new ways of doing the same thing.

Never allow society to dictate, who you are, what you should be like and how you should behave.

BELOW ARE 10 TIPS AS A SINGLE FATHER THAT I HAVE PUT IN PLACE FOR MY DAUGHTER:

Be deeply “In-Love" with yourself (if you love yourself then you won’t and can't tolerate MESS!)

Thank the Lord for every day you exist and tell him that you love and honor him!

Be "Beautiful" internally and externally (The world loves a beautiful woman)!

Value your loved ones (family and friends) genuinely!

Don't ever "BEG" for someone's love... if nothing else, your Daddy loves you!!

Keep your hair done and no chipped nail polish on your finger and toenails!

Conduct your entire life in an orderly fashion (to the best of your ability!)

When you make errors in life, it's how you fix them that shows what kind of woman you are!

Apologize if you treat another human being wrong!

Find a Great Man like your DAD!